#BUT at the same time its the Doctor and Donna and I love them so much I think they're platonic soulmates. And it did have funny moments
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Sorry to be late to the party but oh my god the Doctor and Donna reuniting and Donna having a daughter named Rose whos trans I CAN'T. I dislike the phrase "inner child" because I would strangle myself as a child if I could but MY INNER CHILD IS HEALING
#doctor who#also in my humble opinion it was corny#bad and choppy#and weirdly sugary sweet in a disingenuous way that makes me a bit sad because it makes me feel like disconnected from the story and#I get the impression that the actors dont want to be there#BUT at the same time its the Doctor and Donna and I love them so much I think they're platonic soulmates. And it did have funny moments#And I'm enjoying enough to watch all specials but its just weird phasing for me#theres noise ALL the time and it doesnt leave any room the things the characters are saying to really mean anything#I'll get over it#Idk if the binarybinary-nonbinary thing was supposed to be funny but omg it felt like as if I wrote a fanfiction its so bad but good but ba
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thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .
#mildly joke but im so excited those specials were so fun...#we watched all the 14th dr specials bc Major donna fan ohh my god they were fun i liked them....#i worry im like. being unfair somehow. but i loved like..some of the things with 13 i just likee. the writing it was..off to me... sigh. i#rly wish her seasons had better writers i suppose. BUT. im excited bc my mom told me 15s run is super good so far#i cant believe im almost caught up wndr who. a crazy world i live in. i suppose next me and my mom will have to huddle around an old timey#radio like max n ruby to listen to the audio dramas#and then wencan read bedtime stories to eachother or something#Or of course i could just track down the old series. KDNFJFN. but the computer always its a commodity...#but ya. those were funn i rly liked the like. 2 of them had a bit of body horror like. mild babys first body horror. but i liked it. and#they were funnyyy god i missed donna so bad the show is SO funny with her there. the chemistry w her and 10nis just chefs kiss. loves it#i feel bad bc i liked the like. Suggested personalities of the last companions but they felt kind of lackluster in practice ? like..it felt#like we were told how they were but in practice they kind of just. were there. and then would react to the dr. and then were judt there#idk... i wish they had been more like. fleshed out one supposes#it rly to me feels like they spent 13s seasons kind of just farting around and then covid hit and they were like Fuck now we have to like.#avtually write a plot#flux was like. i think you can do a storyline w like. a bunch of different plotlines that all ties up but it was confusing#đđ it ws like. ig rhe most engaged i was w/ 13 but thats just bc stuff was being thrown at me constantly...#but ya. its rly nice to see donna again after having a bunch of companions who just didnt feel like they got their time to shine. in my eyes#bc donna feels so well written and real and like. believable to me. like it feels like shes an active member instead of like. just standing#around and then having her alloted 4 minute emotional conversation before jumping back into action. yk#also i literally said as soon as the bigeneration happens Oh rhis is good 14 can judt go be a weird uncle. ajd then he literally did#so funny tho that rose and donna get their own tennant doctors and then my best friend martha is just chopped liver ig.#good for her tho. that man needs to stay away from her (joke)#but ya. YAY. intrigued by nailpolish woman its also fun bc weve gotten to the point where my mom has only watched the episodes once#so she knows less and its more fresh for her#which is rly fun. im a little worried about umm. when were fully caught up#bc i believe my mom and dad watch the eps together#and like. yk. much love to my dad but like. idk me and my mom have a specific sort of banter when we watch and like. he sits in sometimes#and i tend to just go silent đđđ#its like. not a conscious thing i just. yk. i have trouble being Relaxed when theyre in the same room together
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The Choices the Stars Make - 14th Doctor x reader
Summary: The Doctor promised you the stars when all you ever wanted was him. What happens when heâs finally ready to settle down? Will he reach out and try again?
Word count: 818
~~~~~~~~
You pull your blanket up higher as you turn to watch the stars shinning through the living room window. It does little to soothe the aching of your heart as your mind keeps spinning in âWhat ifs?â. What if you hadnât left the doctor? What if you hadnât asked him to stay?
You shake your head at the unfairness of the situation, turning your back on the cold stars, facing your laptop screen.
You squint at the brightness. The universe has never been fair. It wasnât when you watched people crying out for your help die, and neither was it when you were forced to confess your true feelings to the Doctor. His discomfort and shift in body language did not surprise you, nor did his lack of touch in the weeks that followed. You just wish he hadnât taken all of the joy of the night sky with him when you left.
Focus. You told yourself, but your heart sunk further, your fingertips getting cold on the plastic mousepad.
Observational Astronomy. A dry laugh forces its way out of your chest, making you feel hollow. You used to dance around the surfaces of planets, experience the sights never seen, the Tardis translating the x-ray and ultraviolet light spectrum for your eyes to witness true beauty of nebulas ⊠now youâre finishing up a paper on observational astronomy and the photographs were in black and white. Life is funny like that. It feels like life lost some of the colour too. You wish it wasnât 2am, life is easier to handle when you donât have to stay up at night to work on something. Especially something that reminds you of him. Days are easier, warmth is easier. Warmth reminds you of joy of adventure, his hands, the kindness. Not his eyes when he left you.
~~~~~~~~
The Doctor did not seek you out. He did not wander the streets close to your house for too long. He did, however, made sure that no threats lingered close to your apartment at all times.
At least until his old face returned.
Oh so many regrets felt thrown back at his face. What he wasnât able to give. The loved ones he lost⊠He grieved Rose for a long, long time, even after you met him. That same grief drove Martha away. Donna⊠River Song⊠He should have been able to save them all. How could he protect you if he couldnât even keep his life as John Smith? And you knew. You saw him fall in love, you saw him live a normal life. He knows he hurt you beyond forgiveness when he grieved his human life and yet, despite all of that grief, did not choose to build one with you.
Seeing Donna again had him longing for the old days. The days of the three of you jumping through the universe, watching the joy on your faces! That was until the Earth got taken over by the Master he forced your feelings out in the open. Doctor could not deal with reliving his past through you. He couldnât stomach losing you. He couldnât make Donna go through the same darkness that Martha did when he was still grieving. Not to even mention Time Lord Victorious. His biggest regret. At least you were saved from watching it happen.
But now⊠now that he did not need to save the universe⊠now that he had someone else to entrust it to and now that the biggest decision of his day was how to protect the moles from Wilf⊠maybe he could give you the life you wanted after all.
~~~~~~
Your phone buzzed one day after the lectures and you instinctively answered it, expecting it to be one of your parents checking in. It was a rash decision you made to switch universities, but with all the stress of studying medicine and the flashbacks of lives you couldnât save, switching to something familiar was an easier choice.
âHello, yes, Iâm still studying astronomy. No, I will not end up starving in the streets when Iâm done.â
ââŠSo you decided to study the stars?â
That⊠was not a voice you expected. Not that you would ever in a million years expect the Doctor to call you. He was someone who buried down feelings. He did not call ex-companions, only companions in trouble called him.
â⊠Doctor?â You chocked up. Funny. You planned to say so many things during all those sleepless nights and now all you could manage is âIs something wrong?â
On the other end of the line, the Doctor smiled a lopsided smile. It didnât reach his eyes, but the words warmed his hearts. He still had time to turn back. He could run away and never look back.
But that soft kindness in your voice, even after all these yearsâŠ
âWould you have some time to meet an old friend?â
#doctor who x reader#10th doctor x reader#14th doctor x reader#fanfiction#doctor who angst#doctor who hurt/comfort
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the thing is. why bring Rose back for this finale. she didn't particularly do much other than standing around and looking pretty. I assume there'll be more of her for the second part. I stand by my original assertion from the star beast that it doesn't make sense that she can just 'give up' the alien DNA she was born with. my point back then was that it would be fun if she could regenerate, and ended up becoming the timeless child herself, thus making the Doctor's entire existence a very fun paradox AND also canonizing the 'half human, on my mother's side' line from the 8th doctor's movie (my beloved) (because Donna was only half human whether she knew it or not).
HOWEVER.
all the susan-baiting is really getting to me. I want our weird little granddaughter back. they canonized the fact that the Doctor doesn't actually know who her parents were. and I REMEMBER. that Susan's original gallifreyan name was Rose. well, their language's equivalent of it. that's how Rose Tyler got her name, it was meant to be a cute little easter egg, the first classic companion and the first new who companion sharing a name. so walk with me. the weird girl daughter of Donna Noble, who grew up on earth but never fit in there, who has the Doctor's DNA woven into her being, and access to a yardis, and can in this scenario regenerate...coming across a younger version of the her father/uncle, introducing herself as Rose (which translates to gallifreyan, I really don't feel like looking up the spelling rn I'm sorry it started with an A), the doctor can recognize her- as family, he thinks, not knowing its a spark of him, their shared mind. she knows about how risky spoiling the future would be, she doesn't know if he has siblings and he looks older than she's ever seen him, so she says she's his granddaughter instead of his niece. daughter. him. she's part time lord. she lives longer than her human family. the Doctor is all she has left and she wants to be with him even if it isn't a him that knows her yet. she's heard the phrase 'timey wimey' before, and she's a smart and careful girl. she finds she doesn't fit in on gallifrey any more than she ever fit in on earth. the Doctor knows exactly what that feels like. they travel. when her human friend renames her Susan, she likes it a lot. feels like when she changed her name the first time. freeing, empowering, becoming. feels like the new name fits her new life better. Rose has a long dead family but Susan has her grandfather. the part of her that is her mother and father, though, still craves human connection. the love and fascination with humanity that she inherited from the Doctor is still there. she tells him all about humans and he takes her to visit them more and more to humor her. she ends up fostering his love for earth that will one day define him AND lead to her creation. she accidentally coins the name tardis the same way the doctor will accidentally invent a banana daiquiri a few centuries too early. he just thinks she's creative and silly. a very dear child. odd and bizarre to her classmates at school, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was the first time around. sometimes she even goes to see a younger Wilf. he's somehow exactly how she remembers him as an old man. she's so grateful they're in the 60's though, because if she ever has to look into the eyes of a Donna Noble who didn't know her, she thinks she may actually die. but the Doctor- he IS enough. he is still part of her, part of her mother, even if he doesn't realize it. she can't help but worry over his health, even knowing he lives long past this, because she got so used to helping his older self in his retirement. she knows him better than he knows himself. she'd do anything for him, and she knows he'd do anything for her.
she just never thought leaving her was something he'd do, though.
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"The Doctor didn't treat Martha badly at all."
Right, What's all this then.
After kissing her (Which meant nothing) shows up to where she is and asks her if she wants to take a trip in the Tardis only to yell at her that's she's not replacing Rose shortly after she agrees.
Dismissive about her concerns about her race and traveling to the past.
Weirdly casual about sharing a bed then talks about Rose and how she would know what to say to him and do in this situation.
Takes her to the same places he took Rose. (This one's complicated too me but it obviously hurt her feelings, so we are putting it in here)
 When Martha was just happy to see him because they had been separated and he was like, "You can kiss me later" or something along those lines. (But absolutely zero mixed signals there.)
Says he is going to leave and comes back and let's not mention Picks up her underwear in her apartment (like why)
TAKES HER BACK TO 1913 AND HAS HER TAKE CARE OF HIM WHILE HES HUMAN AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN WHO IS RACIST TO HER!!! THEN INVITES THE SAME WOMAN TO TRAVEL WITH THEM!!!! And all she gets is a thanks.
Gets them stuck in 1969 and has her work in a shop to support him.
Finished explaining the perception filter and then ran back to add "It's like when you fancy someone, and they don't even know you exist."
Hinted at that he gets her the job at UNIT only to be upset when she works at UNIT. (This reasonably could be because she ended up more like a solider than he wanted but still)
It goes without saying that while all of this is happening, Martha continues to hustle through every episode she is in and saves not only The Doctor but the entire world! The Doctor is 100 percent fine with not reciprocating her feelings and is perfectly fine to still not be over Rose. That isn't the issue here; the problem is that he just treats Martha like she's nothing and it's a burden to travel with her (even though he asked her to travel with him and had multiple opportunities to leave if he wanted) after she constantly proves herself and saves him multiple times. Its infuriating to me and it makes me more upset when people donât see how much differently she is treated than Rose and Donna and paint Martha as this aggressor who also plays a role and is responsible for how he treated her when that's not the case at all. I understand that a large part of Martha's story was that The Doctor didn't see her but why? And why is this used almost as an excuse for his behavior?Â
I could more in depth, but I don't think I have the right words to properly articulate and describe all my feelings, but this is what I got.
#doctor who#martha jones#you gotta understand this#he may not have been leading her on but was sending strong mixed signals#I love martha jones#she deserves the world#we canât brush his behavior under the rug and act like it was nothing#tenth doctor#losing my marbles#its not just about him not reciprocating her feelings#stuck in the labyrinth
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Random Doctor Who hcs: Sleep (Doctor edition!)
Does 9 sleep? Like. Like does he actually sleep???Â
The answer is no.Â
âI donât need to sleep Iâm Time Lord.â he says with bags under his eyes.Â
Gets nightmares pretty often when he does sleep.
Will take short little nod offs in the console room.Â
Sleeps/relaxes in his leather jacket and jeans. Rose thinks this is so weird and gets on him for it all the time. She winds up buying him a soft jumper on some planet they stop at. He shows up in sweatpants and the jumper one day and rose and Jack just stare at him for a hot minute because he looks so wrong. âHe looks so naked.â Nine gets so offended about it (theyâre trying to say he looks fine but yeah they're laughing a bit). âYou just look soâŠnormal.â âOi!â âNo, no itâs not bad. Sâ different.â
He actually learns how to relax a bit. He considers it a bit domestic, a lot domestic actually, and he looks so unintimidating in sweatpants butâŠâŠmaybe.Â
Ten. Oh Ten.Â
Dude got a pair of pajamas on his first day of being alive and has kept them ever since. Theyâre his favorite. He loves them so much that Rose has to take TenToo to go find a pair like them.Â
Stays up with Rose talking about the most random things. Rose listens as long as she is able before she falls asleep. Her favorite lullaby :)
Like 9, heâd rather be tinkering with the Tardis than sleeping so he mostly does that. But he has taken up reading. Twilightâs getting wild.Â
Has thought about asking to sleep with Rose. As in next to Rose. on the same bed. He immediately talked himself out of it.Â
Martha has to make him sleep. âYou just got possessed by a sun go to bed!âÂ
Generally sleeps less while Marthaâs on board.
Gets bored and walks into Donnaâs room to talk to her while Donnaâs trying to go to bed. She indulges him sometimes but other times she just wants to go to bed.Â
Has fallen asleep during movie nights with Donna and has denied it.Â
Sleepovers with Donna.Â
Cuddles :)Â
Incredibly sleep deprived throughout the whole mess that is post-journeyâs end. Like emotionally sleep deprived. Desperately in need of a nap.Â
11 HATES sleeping. Hates it. If heâs sleeping, heâs going to be still, and if heâs going to be still, heâll start thinking and we canât have that. So he justâŠdoesnât.Â
To keep himself occupied while traveling without Amy and Rory he tried going to sleep. It was a very bad, no good, horrible experience for him and he decided he just simply would never do that again. Hasnât been in his room since.Â
Will nod off from time to time but will not go to bed. Rory gets a bit concerned but maybe this is normal for time lords. Whoâs he to say?
Trying to put him to bed is like working with a fussy toddler. You will have to cajole and shove and push and bribe him and it will not work. Just give up.Â
Thinks pajamas look nice but has no need for them because he doesnât sleep.Â
The experience with the Dream Lord was enough for him thanks.Â
12? Doesnât sleep. Sleep is for the weak.Â
Absolutely falls asleep standing up.Â
Tries an energy drink once. Gets addicted. Is banned from energy drinks from now on.Â
He and Clara pull the worst all-nighters youâve ever seen. Its fun for them.Â
Doesnât own pajamas but he does own a really corny t-shirt Clara bought him that he would wear if he did sleep. But he doesnât. So.Â
Fourteen NEEDS a nap. Desperately.Â
Is incredibly tired but has so much trouble going to sleep its unreal.Â
Will stay up stargazing or tinkering with things in the house that donât need to be tinkered with. Takes apart every appliance in the house until Donna and Sylvia yell at him to stop.Â
Sleeps in an actual bed in an actual house because Donna made him. She was not about to have him sleep in the TARDIS.
Rose makes him a blanket fort in the living room.Â
She stuffs it full of stuffed animals and puts up fairy lights. âItâs bigger on the inside.âÂ
Itâs incredibly comfortable but unfortunately for every other member of the house it takes up a good chunk of space. (Rose and the Doctor do catch everyone getting a lot of use out of it though)
Lives in hand-me down pajamas until he can get his own but secretly loves the hand-me down pajamas
#i haven't met 13 yet#doctor who#doctor who headcanons#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#fourteenth doctor#timepetals#ninerose#tenrose
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Various head canons for my Saxteen/ Temple Noble household series.
As the board of headcanons, I declare these headcanons as offical.
Shout outs for the ideas or just being OGs:
@roxannepolice
@kidshows-are-life
@strobbiery
@the--quotifyer--innit
@huntersroses
Now- Onto the headcanons!
-Sylvia still gets nervous when the Doctor does weird shit and will often tell him off for it (which often backfires)
"why cant you be like that one? Sit quietly and stop catching the kitchen on fire!"
".....Him? You mean... The master?? You know he eats people right?"
".... Dont be like him then. I take it back."
-They take bubble baths together quite often
-Rosie has given Sax advice on which brands of make up to buy (vegan or cruelty free)
-Sometimes Wilf and Shaun witness a weekly ritual of donna, rosie, and two old gays doing face masks, nails, and other 'sleep over' things in the kitchen. They call it Gals night.
-When Shaun questions it even in the slightest, 14 responds with "Were all girls here."
"Even him?" *points to sax whos passed out cold with cucumbers on his eyes* "well not yet. But yes."
"Not yet??"
"Alien stuff hon. Alien stuff."
"Regenerative alien stuff to be exact!"
-Shaun was actually very excited when Rose came out because he had always wanted to be a girl dad. Sometimes, he asks her paint his nails and wishes that she was young enough to have tea parties with.
-This being mentioned leads to everyone in the house participating in the South France House Annual Tea Party (14 even gave out offical invitations) Everyone gets a boa and a crown. Saxons crown is not cheap plastic, though. It is real. He demanded it to be. Even wilf has on a pink boa in his wheel chair.
-The evening is filled with tiny sandwitches, tea of all kinds, donna talking about Agatha Christie, the time she almost got murdered by a massive bug, and 14 dosing his husband with catmint tea (which makes him very purry)
-Rosie sleeps with a bonnet. So does saxon. He thinks itll stop him from balding.
-When walking to the store, They hold each other. Depending on the day, it's the Master on the Doctors arm or vise versa. Sometimes, they'll hold pinkies. The Master HAS bitten someone for negativaly commenting about it
-The Doctor falls asleep on the loo sometimes
-Shaun is so madly in love with the new Donna and will sit and stare at her while asking math questions in utter awe. Hes OBSESSED with her, of course he loved her before but now its like meeting a newer, BRIGHTER, happier Donna and he constantly is taking her on dates, getting flustard, and is more handsy. This overall has improved their marriage (not that it was in any danger to begin with)
-When the two are being flirty and frisky in the kitchen, Rose will audibly say "GAG" and then walk away
-Wilfred is very happy to see his grand daughter shine, and you can find him repeating his favorite stories from when she was just a girl. It's part of his Alzheimer's.
-Wilfred sometimes forgets that the Doctor isn't actually his real son and will refer to him as his child when talking to people, and depending on who the person is, the doctor won't correct him.
-The Doctor is trying to grow his hair out to put them in braids. Unfortunately, he gets sneezy rosemary oil, so he uses a lot of castor oil and rose oils. (The Master thinks he stinks when he does this)
-The master suggests dying his greys but the Doctor refuses, wanting to be a "Silver fox"
-The master, to this day, uses the exact same box dye that he did all those years ago. His hair is fried, LMAO
-Rosie has made the master a stuffy called Shadow. Sylvia once got bitten for washing shadow, and the master sat at the door and watched her get washed the entire time, growling at donna, who in turn had learned to growl back.
-The Doctor proposed on Christmas and the master slapped him. They then proceeded to get married NEXT Christmas due to saxon demanding a custom traditional outfit to be made.
-Both have gained relationship weight, and Donna is the only one allowed to poke fun at them for it. "Not a pole anymore, I see, hmm?" She does not comment on saxons new small streach marks as that is blantantly rude. Wtf? Who does that? Not in this house.
-They take up the entire couch for naps. The doctor has told him multiple times that he likes his weight on top of him. "You're like a warm weighted blanket." And was then smothered with a pillow because saxon is insecure about it still.
-When meeting new people the Doctor keeps slipping that hes an alien. Hes said he wants the neighbors in France to not know hes an alien because hes curious about how people treat him differently compared to if they know or not.
The neighbors wanted help moving their sofa so the Doctor picked it up... the whole thing... by himself.
"Wow!! Its like you have super human strength!!"
"Aha- well... about that.. not human-"
"What?"
"Shit- honey I did it again!"
#doctor who#the master#thoschei#fourteenth doctor#saxteen#donna noble#retired time lords#headcanons#headcanon#dw headcanon#rose noble#wilfred mott#shaun temple
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I Get to Keep You: Fourteen/Donna, M for all kinds of things
Title: I Get to Keep You Author: love-in-the-time Rating: M for language, sex, violence, etc. Summary: Donna has a specialized task that no one else is truly capable of accomplishing, since it requires the willing participation of the Doctor. Fourteen/Donna DOMESTIC BLISS.
UNIT hires Donna in the days following the Toymaker's disappearance, signing a contract for a hundred-fifty thousand pounds a year, five weeks vacation, and an annual bonus. She can relax, finally, about money. It's part of why she is so excited to help the Doctor pick a house; he decides on the French countryside, to Donna's delight and enchantment.
Kate Stewart explained that if the Doctor was going to live on earth permanently, it would be safer for all involved if it was as unobtrusive as possible. A French garden with a bit of land around it would be an ideal place for a blue box that would blend gently into its surroundings. She also explains that UNIT has indeed been paying the Doctor for the past seventy years, and he has an Earth bank account with several million pounds in it, just waiting for his use.
So he chooses a pretty country house outside of Montresor, in the Indrois Valley, and buys it outright. It's surrounded by lush green land, with an enormous enclosed garden. There are many more bedrooms than he needs, and the floors are all polished wood, with high windows and charming details everywhere. Donna moves through the house with the same excitement as the TARDIS, exclaiming over the views and the crown moldings and the polished wood floors and the stained glass. UNIT provides him with furniture and a car, all official and licensed, so that he is within easy reach of the agency should it be needed. Rose is enrolled in an international school, where she is boarded with the children of UNIT employees from all over the world, and thrives in the specialized environment of the school. Location undisclosed, of course, to all except the families.
The Doctor, upon closing the contract to the house with Donna next to him, proceeds to hand her a key immediately. "This is your home too, for the rest of your life, just like the TARDIS," he tells her. "Thank you for coming to help me pick it out."
Donna just smiles. "Welcome home, Spaceman," she says.
"Promise me you'll stay here," the Doctor says. "And bring your family with you."
"As often as I can," Donna says.
"And you can come by yourself too," the Doctor says hopefully, half a question. "Just to hang out? I'll take you by TARDIS, of course."
Donna looks over the lovely house and says, "It'll be my joy."
On a Friday in late August, when the Doctor has been settled into the new house for a few months and Donna has spent the last few days with him planting a garden, she is called for a meeting at UNIT headquarters in Paris, which by train would have taken hours from either London or Montresor. But since the Doctor is Scientific Advisor Number One to UNIT and is naturally also invited to the meeting, he of course takes her by TARDIS. "Exclusive transport," he tells her, grinning. "Go man your station."
Still not quite able to believe what her life has become, Donna circles the TARDIS console with a smile on her face. She knows what to do, she can hear the TARDIS hum under her hands, and within a minute she meets the Doctor at the middle of the console, the central line wheezing away as always.
She smiles at him for a moment, and he says, "God, I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you," Donna says. "I can hardly even absorb what's happening."
"Well you'd have to know that UNIT would be interested in you," the Doctor says. "And very interested, too, if that contract is any indication."
"Did you read it?" Donna asks, surprised.
"I helped write it," the Doctor says. "You don't know everything, Donna Noble."
"Is that how I got a hundred fifty instead of a hundred twenty?" Donna asks.
"Oh, I told them a million," the Doctor shrugs. "They wouldn't go for it, of course, but they know who you are. You're needed. You're good. You're fast. You can do anything, and you can help."
Donna nods. "I can help," she says. "That's all I ever wanted to do." She looks down at herself. "What d'you think, am I professional enough for it?" She's wearing an elegant slim navy suit with a soft white blouse.
"You're beautiful," is all the Doctor says. With its new Arrival Alert System in place, the TARDIS gives a bright ding as they land inside a UNIT garage. They are met by escorts who bring them to the conference room where the French delegation is assembled. They are greeted enthusiastically by everyone, and Donna is bemused to find herself in the middle of a true agency meeting, in a clean and minimalist blue-and-white conference room. But she has her credentials clipped to her jacket, and so does everyone else, even the Doctor, still wearing his brown-and-blue checked suit. Everyone is provided with standard issue tablets and there is a screen for everyone to consult on the wall.
They undergo an extensive briefing concerning the most recent events in Europe, and an American consultant joins them via the big screen to discuss international issues. At the conclusion of that, the agents file out in orderly line, leaving Donna and the Doctor with the commanding officer, Major Paulette Marnier.
"We've been informed by Brigadier Stewart in London that you're being directly trained by the Doctor," the major says. "That's better than anything we could offer you anyway, so your protocol has been adjusted and you're free to take your training aboard the TARDIS." She looks down at her tablet. "The next order is the record of Miss Noble as the other TARDIS traveler on our books. She needs to be appointed as a licensed TARDIS pilot. It's quite a sophisticated piece of machinery."
"I'll sign off on that," the Doctor says. He's beaming.
"Right," Paulette says. "I'll need to see Miss Noble alone in my office for a moment, so we are adjourned."
Donna looks to the Doctor, who rises alongside her from the table. "I'll wait for you," he says. "That's what I do now."
The major watches the two of them smile at each other as if there is no one else in the room. She thinks this woman must be extraordinary indeed if the Doctor is attached to her in this way.
Inside the lovely, wood-furnished office of the major, Donna seats herself across from the older woman. "First of all, welcome," Paulette says. "You can't imagine how pleased we are to have you join us."
"I can hardly believe it myself," Donna says. "Thank you. It's been an amazing change."
"I'm consulting with you in private regarding the Doctor," Paulette says. "We've never had him in permanent residence on Earth before, and regardless of his provenance, we are committed to the safety and security of your family since he has decided to live with you." She folds her hands. "For all intents and purposes you are our liaison to him, and in the interest of security we ask that you remain in that position for as long as you are able, even when you retire from UNIT."
"I don't know if he'll stay with me forever," Donna says.
"Oh, I think we can be pretty confident he will be around for a long time," Paulette says, with certainty that is both professional and personal.
Donna doesn't say anything in response, but her expression speaks for her. The mix of hope, fear, and joy on her face is vulnerable. She clears her throat. "Anyway," she says. "Yes, I will serve as permanent UNIT liaison to the Doctor."
"You have a specialized task," Paulette continues. "And a completely unique one, since it requires his willing participation. You're the one who will give this Doctor a reason to retire. Who will ensure that this Doctor, in order to ensure the safety of all other Doctors, will retain his peace of mind. A French countryside garden with a meadow and a view of the river is an ideal place for that, wouldn't you say? But even more important, Donna, is that the said French garden contains you. As often as possible."
"I think that won't be a problem," Donna says, her voice a little threadbare from self control. She's wanted to cry from relief a million times since he's been back and neither of them have had the chance.
"It means that you will receive information about things UNIT doesn't know," Paulette continues. "This information is released at your discretion, of course, we make no presumptions on your personal interactions with the Doctor. You are his closest contact and as such you retain specific rights."
"What does that mean?" Donna says. "That I have no privacy concerning him if necessary?"
"Quite the opposite," Paulette says. "Rather that all of your interactions are privileged, no matter personal or professional. You aren't property of UNIT, you are our most valuable consultant."
Donna has never had power in her life, and now she is humbled by the idea that UNIT seeks to protect and privilege her life with the Doctor, essentially turning their relationship into a state secret. The ultimate safety in history, she thinks. Only they two will know the truth. Even her family will have no access.
It's a terribly lonely idea, she thinks, and only not lonely because she will share it, as she has shared her mind, with the Doctor. The momentousness of the idea is a little overwhelming.
Even in her personal life she hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that she will never actually be without the Doctor again. Sometimes she lies awake at night in her room in France, looking out the window at the blue box parked in his garden, in a corner bursting with flowers and a sturdy old tree whose branches gave shade. It's like walking into Eden when she goes to the TARDIS, a feeling that she hasn't assimilated yet.
"I can agree to that," she says.
"Good," Paulette says. "It's a heavy task, but I have to emphasize the necessity of it. Your discretion is paramount in order to maintain the safety of yourself, the Doctor, and your family. It will be a contingency for your job that you maintain your silence. Any leaks are dangerous for all."
Donna nods. "I understand," she says.
"It's pretty standard for UNIT," The major says. "Well, thank you, it's been a very exciting day for us. We'll be in touch for your next in-person report, and meanwhile you and the Doctor can operate from aboard the TARDIS at your discretion." She stands up with Donna, and gives her a salute. "Good luck. Look after him."
Donna finds the Doctor sitting patiently in the vestibule of the building, reading a book he'd probably had stashed in the dimensional pocket of his coat, a suspicion confirmed to Donna when he sees her and drops it right back into his inner pocket. "We're off," Donna says cheerfully to him, and he offers her his arm. The same escort comes to bring them back to the garage to the TARDIS.
"What d'you fancy?" the Doctor asks. "Lunch in Paris? Say... seventeenth century? We're here anyway."
"Lunch in Paris sounds glorious," Donna says. "Today. Here. Now."
So the Doctor parks the TARDIS on the Rue de Richelieu, where they have an exquisite lunch at Juveniles, one of Paris's best restaurants. It's small, charming, and private. They drink wine and eat duck and steak. They talk quietly and intimately between them, since they can't discuss work, and render each other helpless with laughter over their food. At the end of it the Doctor pulls out a magnetic strip card Donna recognizes. "Oh, the intergalactic bank card," she says to him. "I remember that."
"Unlimited funds," the Doctor shrugs. "Money is a stupid concept."
On the streets of Paris, Donna takes his arm again and says, "You're going to have to wear something besides that suit, you know. People will think you're mad. Or dirty."
"I am one of those, but not the other," the Doctor says contentedly. "But fair point."
"You know I don't care what you wear at home, but for going out in public you can't be in the same thing all the time. It makes you recognizable. We're trying to avoid you being 'that skinny bloke who's always in the same suit,' you know."
"Are there any boutiques you prefer?" the Doctor asks her teasingly. "Anywhere I should go and get my suits?"
"Have you ever thought about ordinary clothes? Like a pair of jeans? You can keep those ratty trainers. Maybe a band t-shirt?"
"A what?"
"You know. A t-shirt. With The Pogues on or something."
"You mean like that Scooby Doo shirt you have?"
Donna laughs. "Yeah," she says. "Like that. Ordinary. Normal."
"Normal's a stupid word," the Doctor says. "Wanna walk along the Right Bank?" He gestures. "The Seine is right there."
"What is it with you and rivers?" Donna asks. Then she grins. "Oh. River Song, of course."
The Doctor smiles. "The Thames, the Loire, the Seine, they're all one to me now as long as you're there."
They sit at a small café on the Right Bank for hours, in comfortable silences interspersed with laughter and conversation. When the sun starts to set, Donna puts her coffee cup down and sighs. "You know we'd better go back," she says.
"All right." The Doctor gets up and offers her his hand instead of his arm this time. Donna looks from his hand to his face and they walk away hand-in-hand along the bank.
Inside the TARDIS they move quietly alongside the console, piloting the ship into stable flight. Donna sighs and steps back, leaning against the railing. She looks contemplatively at the Doctor, who catches her eye when he looks up. "What?" he asks gently.
"Nothing," Donna says. "Just... filling my mind up with the idea that you're here to stay for a while."
He comes to her to hug her close, wrapping her up the way he always used to do. Donna sighs again, burrowing into his embrace and clutching him the way she wants to. "D'you have to be married, Donna?" the Doctor murmurs into her hair.
There's a little silence. Donna wraps her arms more tightly around him. "I wouldn't have if I hadn't lost you."
"Are you happy?"
Another little silence. "I thought we were, living the ordinary way we did. But I always knew I wasn't doing enough. I always knew I was missing something," Donna says.
"Do you love him?"
"In my way," Donna says. "He was there for me when I forgot. He was kind to me and he's been wonderful to me. He accepted me as I am. As I was. I can't speak for now until I see how this new life affects us." She unravels herself from his embrace to look up at him. Again, her face is vulnerable. "These are circumstances all beyond our control, right?"
"I s'pose some of them are," the Doctor says.
"What about Rose?"
"She is your beautiful daughter, and anything that is part of you is something and someone I love beyond measure," the Doctor says.
"But not Shaun?"
The Doctor smiles. "He's not part of you."
"You called him your brother-in-law," Donna says, exasperated but smiling.
"And so he is, as long as he's married to you. Just a useful human label to characterize," the Doctor shrugs. "So! Are you allowed to tell me what the Major briefed you about?"
"Er," Donna says. "She made our relationship a matter of national security. Everything we say and do together is entirely privileged, and UNIT has no access to anything except what we choose to tell them. Nor anyone else without a security clearance."
"That means your family," the Doctor says. He gives her a little compassionate look and says, "That could be lonely, Donna."
"Not with you around," Donna says firmly. "That's my compensation, even more than the money. So you don't go anywhere, or it all means nothing."
The Doctor starts to smile, then, big and delighted. "So now everything between us is only between us by international and intergalactic statute," he says. "That sounds like a lot of fun, Donna Noble. We can do anything, remember?"
"It sounds monumental," Donna says. "It sounds like infinite possibility, even more than it did the first time around."
"You all right with it?" the Doctor asks.
"Yeah," Donna says. "Yeah. I am. It's right."
"Good!" says the Doctor brightly, to disguise his emotions. "Let's go home, eh?"
"Yes, please," Donna says.
So when they land in his garden once more, the little ding signal chiming their arrival, Donna settles back against the railing. "Aren't you going to go back in the house?" the Doctor asks, his eyebrows raising.
Donna shakes her head, smiling a little. "Not yet," she says. "I'm going to my room for a minute. I have some things I want to get."
In an instinctive gesture, he follows her down the hallway to the first door on the right, where the TARDIS always puts the door to where its inhabitants want to go.
Donna's room has been stored in the TARDIS memory banks since Donna left, and has been preserved in the state it was ever since, down to the page in the book Donna was reading on her bed. She opens the door into what was her sanctuary, a room where she had everything she could imagine, everything she wanted, everything she needed, and best of all, the Doctor to make her laugh.
"Remember?" Donna asks, and the Doctor nods wordlessly, as if he could speak around the lump in his throat.
"We slept in that bed a lot," Donna says, pointing to her giant, purple-covered bed with the plethora of pillows and huge plush blankets.
"Yeah," he says. "We did. Best sleep of my life."
"You need more of it," Donna says.
"Maybe I'll get more of it now that you're around," the Doctor replies, and Donna huffs a little laugh.
"Anyway, it's an intergalactic secret whether I sleep or not," the Doctor adds.
"Well, what you need is plenty of good food, and lots of sleep," Donna says.
"And joy, and laughter," the Doctor says. "And you."
"I've got all those things," Donna says, putting her hands on her hips. "I just want to grab a few things from here for the house."
In a few minutes she comes out with her clothes changed into comfortable leggings and a sweater. She has an armful of things, including her giant purple blanket to give to Rose for her bed. She has a box full of jewelry and clothing, and a set of Shakespeare editions she'd hidden away because they were seventeenth-century prints, beautifully and expensively bound. "Just some treasures," she tells the Doctor, who smiles at her proudly. "The rest of it can stay here."
She carries them herself to the TARDIS doors and leaves them just inside so she'll remember to take them with her when she goes back to London. "Meanwhile," she says. "What d'you say, should we crack a bottle and sit in the library?"
"Oh, you know I always loved doing that," the Doctor says.
"Me too," Donna says. "Something about being surrounded by books. Comforting. Like sitting in your imagination."
Inside the TARDIS library, somewhere between a medieval archive, a university library, and a cathedral, Donna sits down in the same spot in front of the enormous fireplace (merrily lit as usual) that she always used to, on the red Persian rug that was always soft and comfortable. A moment later the Doctor joins her with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
"You should think about picking an Earth name," Donna says. "People will want to know even if they call you Doctor."
The Doctor shrugs. "Whatever," he says, filling the glasses and handing her one. "I'll pick something serviceable. It'll take me a while to answer to it anyway." He gives her a sideways smile. "I always liked the way you said 'Doctor' anyway."
Donna clinks her glass with him. "To knowing who you are."
"Hear, hear," he says feelingly, and they both take a good deep drink. Donna grimaces and puts her glass down.
"Did you ever in your life?" she asks next, turning herself to face him.
"What?" He does the same so that they are facing each other, sitting cross legged.
"Did you ever, ever think we'd be here again?" Donna asks, and suddenly, unexpectedly she is crying. She surprises herself and the Doctor with the force of her sobs, burying her face in her hands so that she doesn't make noise.
"Oh, god, Donna--" the Doctor says, leaping forward immediately to embrace her. "God, it's all right, I'm here."
Her arms go around him tightly, a feeling he'd been crying out for since the last time she hugged him, and she buries her face in his shoulder. He lets her cry until his shirt is soaked and she is collapsed against him. She never lets go of him, and he draws his hands in long, comforting caresses up and down the length of her back. "Where have you been?" she asks him, her voice thick with tears. "Where did you go, why did you leave me? I was dying without you."
"I died without you," he says back. "And that's why I'm going to live with you now." He holds her against him so that she knows he means it. "And I am so sorry that you were lonely without me. I'm sorry that your hands were ever empty. I'm sorry that you cried. It was my fault for not listening to you, but I couldn't have lived with myself if you'd died back then."
Donna shivers. "I've died twice now," she says.
"But now you live," the Doctor says, kissing her hair. "Now you live with me."
"I've never been so happy in my life," Donna says, echoing him from days before in their garden, eating dinner with everyone around. That makes the tears flow from his eyes, so that Donna wraps him up again and presses her lips to his cheek.
"You can stay," she tells him. "I need you to stay."
They stay in that embrace for a long time. Finally Donna pulls back and moves back onto the floor. "Sorry," she says. "I've wrecked your shirt."
"Don't you dare apologize to me," he says immediately. "I have lived much too long without you to waste our time with that nonsense."
Donna reaches for her glass of whiskey and drinks deep before she speaks again. "I suspect that's going to happen a few more times before I really feel like I've processed it," she says.
"That's okay," the Doctor says. Then he reaches for her hand. "I don't want to make you cry."
"Way too late for that," Donna says. She watches him kiss her hand again, the same way he had so unhesitatingly done on the ship, and feels a few fresh tears roll down her face. "It's all right." She gestures to his glass. "Drink up," she says. "And then you're going to tell me whatever I ask about. The truth." She holds his gaze. "The truth. Even if it's ugly and horrible. Even if you think it makes you look bad." She sees the way he drains the whiskey at that. "And then another day you're going to tell me about everyone who flew on this ship with you." She picks up the bottle and refills both their glasses. "We're going to get that pain out of you one way or another. A million years my arse."
"There's going to be a lot of crying," the Doctor says. "And I've only just got you back."
"Maybe we have got a lot of grief to work through," Donna says. "Maybe you will have to stop being a crazy Martian for long enough that we can take care of each other. Maybe I am the safest person in the universe to tell your secrets to."
There is a little silence then, when the Doctor works furiously to keep his eyes from overflowing again. "Why do you still want to be my friend?" he asks her.
"Why do you want to be mine?" Donna shoots back immediately.
"Because I love you."
"It's the same for me," Donna says. "Fuck you, Spaceman, you're going to make me cry again," she adds, with a slap to his arm that has no force behind it.
"I watched you die," the Doctor says. "I held you while you died. I've only just got you back and I--" He stops to swallow hard. "I still can't understand, but I am so, so grateful to you."
"I understand," Donna says. "I told you." She breathes deeply. "I'm not going to cry again," she says. "I'm not. I swear." She has to stop, which belies her words. "I shared your mind. You and I were one. I've never had that experience before and I never will again. But we were us. There was no line between you and I, however long or short the time was. I can't go back to living the half-a-life I had without you." A thousand yard stare blooms in her eyes that makes the Doctor feel so desolate. "I stared into an abyss for a while," Donna says finally. Then she seems to gather herself. "And now I don't have to anymore," she says. "So I just have to adjust to that."
"So what did you want me to tell you about?" the Doctor asks next. "No more abyss."
"The Flux," Donna says. "I saw it in your head. The Toymaker mentioned it. You can start there."
The Doctor takes a deep breath, and the whole awful story pours out of him like a lanced boil, the infection of grief draining from him in small measure. Donna listens with her hands in his, alternately wiping away tears and wiping away his tears. When he's finished Donna moves back into his embrace, this time climbing into his lap and holding him tightly. "I've waited fifteen years to do this again," she says. Wordlessly the Doctor clings to her so that they can absorb the comfort and still, the astonishment and joy, of being together again.
"D'you want me to take you back to London or do you want to stay here?" the Doctor asks eventually.
"No," Donna says. She doesn't move for a little while longer, and the Doctor huffs a small laugh into her shoulder, his arms going back around her.
"What is it?" he asks.
"Remember when we went to that little island with the campfire city?" Donna asks. "And we just danced by the fires and ate good food and had a good time?"
"Meridion Ten, yes," the Doctor says. "That was beautiful."
"Can we do things like that from now on?" Donna asks. "You told me a long time ago you had so many places you wanted to take me. Can we just do those things?" He can feel her fingers caressing through his hair in the back, the same comforting feeling from so long ago. She used to do this and it made him feel--
"You'd better stop that," he tells her. "I'll take you anywhere but if you don't let go of me I'm going to kiss you, Donna Noble, and we both know that is not a good idea."
"Oh, it's such a good idea," Donna says, starting to laugh. "It's the best idea. I want to so badly."
"To answer your question," he says, pulling back and away from her so that he doesn't tip her over onto her back and kiss her on the floor of the library the way he used to all those years ago, "is yes. I will take you to all those places and more. And you can bring whoever you want."
Donna slides back onto the floor and sighs. "Good," she says. "I need a nap," she adds. "Between the whiskey and the crying I've worn myself out."
"Where do you want to go?" the Doctor asks, unfolding to his feet. He holds out his hand. "C'mon."
Donna gets to her feet and adjusts her clothes. "I think I'd better go back to London," she says. "No one's home in France, right?"
"Nope," he says.
Donna nods. "Fine," she says, smiling a little. "I'd better go back then." She leads him back to the console room, hand in hand, and the Doctor feels an old magnetism in their contact.
At the console, instead of starting the flight sequence, Donna pulls him down by the collar and kisses him deeply, hard, greedily. He responds immediately, pulling her up against him from knee to mouth. "Yes," he says in between kisses.
"Mm-hm," Donna answers, and kisses him until she's finished, both of them a little out of breath afterwards.
"Don't you dare cheat on your husband," the Doctor says, his hands pushing her sweater off her shoulders with the complete opposite intention.
"I won't, I won't," Donna says. She steps back from him, shrugs her sweater back on, and starts to move around the console.
"Swear on my life I'll fuck your brains out," he tells her as he turns the ignition dials.
"I know," Donna says. She smiles at him, a million watts.
"It's a new body," he continues. "All my faculties are fresh."
"So why haven't you gone and tried them out on some French ladies?" Donna asks cheekily. They circle the console, flipping levers, pushing buttons, always a few feet apart.
"Don't want to try them out on anyone but you," the Doctor says. "Bit of a problem, that."
"Ah, well, we can work on that," Donna says. "Our relationship's a state secret after all." The TARDIS hums into stable flight and Donna steps back from the controls. She leans on the railings and says, "You know, the other Doctor was right. You do need a chair in here."
Instead of answering, the Doctor just puts his hands in his pockets. "Stop distracting me with your chair talk." He regards her with a look full of intent. "What about Shaun?"
Donna nods. "I know," she says. "I have to figure out how to explain it to him."
"Has he asked?"
"If we've had sex? No."
"D'you think he suspects?"
"No," Donna says. "He knows as much as my mum and grandfather could tell him, but some things only I know."
"So you're going to ask his permission?"
"Maybe," Donna says. "I haven't decided." She shrugs. "Lots of new things are happening now."
"Don't ruin your marriage," the Doctor says.
"Spaceman," Donna says, coming to stand right next to him. "I won't do anything of the sort."
"Listen," he says. "Look at me."
Donna regards him with the most amused and affectionate face, and he can't help smiling back. "I want you to know that I want you as much as I did before and more," he says. "If you weren't married you'd never have made it out of your room in my house. You'd always be there."
"I'm always there anyway," Donna says.
"Yes. And I love it," the Doctor says. "And I would shag you in every room of that house if I could. You know that."
"I do know that," Donna says. "Would be an absolute joy." She looks him over with the same kind of approving desire she always used to. The Arrival Alert System dings brightly, and Donna smiles. "Right, then, Spaceman," she says. "I'm going to get some sleep. Because I won't sleep if I stay around you." She kisses him many little times on each cheek and then his lips, and adds, "I'll be back."
"You better come back, Donna Noble," the Doctor says, dropping his hands to pull her hips up against his. "Good night."
He watches her pick up the boxes she'd left at the door and leave, his mind moving at light speed as usual. The first time around they'd worked hard to keep their relationship a secret, for fear of exploitation. This time around UNIT has made their relationship an actual secret, for the same reason and more. There was never any concern of pregnancy or risk of disease, so they were free to do as they pleased then.
It won't be different this time. He can already tell.
In the kitchen of the London house, Rose is sitting at the table reading a book. "Hello, darling, I love when you come home for the weekend," Donna says, dropping a kiss on her head.
"Hi, mum," Rose says. "Where've you been, then?"
"Work," Donna says. "Had a briefing. I changed my clothes on the TARDIS." She indicates the boxes in her arms. "Look. I've brought us some treasures."
"From space?" Rose asks, and Donna laughs.
"From space," she says. "And this blanket is for you."
"Ooh, purple, lovely," Rose says. They go upstairs together and spread it onto her bed, where it hangs onto the floor and pools around the bed frame. Rose laughs and jumps right into it, wrapping herself up. "Oh, it smells like you," she says to Donna. "Like your perfume and your shampoo."
"Oh, good," Donna says. "It's been out of use for fifteen years."
"No, I love it," Rose says. "Now. What's in those boxes you brought?"
So Donna settles herself on Rose's bed, and she and her daughter go through the two boxes, laughing like best friends. Donna puts the Shakespeare books aside for her bookshelf, and she and Rose pull out the jewelry box Donna had kept in her room aboard the ship.
"Ohh, wow," Rose says when Donna lifts the lid. "Oh, mum. Look at this, it's a treasure trove." She picks up a necklace, with an intricate pendant of precious stones. "Where's this one from?"
Donna proceeds to tell her the story of each piece; each pair of earrings, each necklace, what was a gift and from who, why she has a collection of Amaran bangles (a story she tactfully edits as they had been part of an offering made to her for something she and the Doctor had done together that was decidedly not saving the universe), the pendant she'd made of a sapphire from the waterfall of Juno's Tears, and finally the simple gold band, at the very bottom, that the Doctor had put on her hand all those years ago.
"A biodamper?" Rose asks. "Mum, this is a wedding ring."
"Yes, it looks like one," Donna says. "But it suppresses biological signal so you can't be tracked."
"Why is it a wedding ring, though?" Rose asks.
"I was in my wedding dress, you know the story," Donna shrugs. "It made sense at the time."
"Nothing makes sense with the Doctor," Rose says. "That's my favorite part of all of it." Then she gives her mother a knowing look. "But he could have given you anything and he chose a ring. Interesting."
Donna smiles wryly as she replaces the jewelry back into the box and shuts the lid. "If you ever want to borrow any of it," she says, "just ask me." Then she yawns, the tiredness from aboard the TARDIS returning in the wake of her excitement. "I need some sleep," she says. "Where's your father?"
"He's out driving," Rose says. "He says he'll be back around nine."
"Right," Donna says. "I'm going to have a kip and I'll start dinner when I get up."
Sleep, of course, is easier said than done for Donna, and has been for fifteen years. For the last fifteen years she's been a bad sleeper, waking every few hours, restless with fear and anxiety. Now with her memories back, she knows what her dreams are, but they are still terrifying. She'd thought those would subside now that the Doctor is back, but it seems it's her own problem. So as tired as she is, it's often hard for her to get into bed and sleep.
So she crawls under her covers and sighs, resting her head on her pillow and attempting to breathe her way into sleep. She is tired, has been tired for as long as she can remember. Even half an hour would be nice, she thinks.
After ten long minutes of lying there discontentedly, Donna goes back to Rose's room to retrieve her blanket. "I'll bring it back," she says, and Rose just smiles and says okay.
Back in her bed, Donna pulls the purple blanket over herself and sighs. She closes her eyes, and tears slip from beneath her closed lids. The instant relief and comfort she feels under that blanket has eluded her for fifteen years. She wipes at her eyes and turns over onto her stomach. In a few minutes she actually drifts off to sleep.
And dreams. She dreams of terror, of running, of things exploding. And then she dreams of pleasure, vividly, of hands and mouths and tongues and the way she would embrace the Doctor with all four limbs, both of them focused entirely on each other. She dreams of sunrises and vistas of sky, and the sound of the TARDIS wheezing and groaning.
When she does finally wake up, it's dark. She looks over at the clock and it says 2:43 AM. She sits up immediately, looking around herself. Shaun is asleep next to her under their regular blanket, and the house is quiet. Donna gets out of bed softly, so as not to disturb him, and goes down the hallway to check on Rose, who is also asleep in her room. So she goes downstairs to the kitchen since she's missed dinner.
In the fridge there is a container of pasta and meatballs, probably made by Rose when she realized her mum wouldn't be up to cook herself. The dishes are done and the counters are clean, so Donna flips on a low light and puts the leftovers into a bowl to heat up. She sits alone at her kitchen table to eat, thinking, thinking, thinking.
It isn't that she doesn't love Shaun-- she does. In fact in a big way she owes him a lot, since he'd taken on the burden of knowing her without hesitation. With her memories back she'd been able to understand more why he'd been so accommodating. But he knows only as much as Wilf and Sylvia, and would never be able to know everything Donna knows. And now, in the face of UNIT's directive, he would know even less. Donna contemplates the unfairness of that, how it would exclude the person who is supposed to be closest to her from the inner workings of her life. It is a lot to ask of one person, and she thinks guiltily she's already asked so much of him. First when she gave away her lottery winnings, she'd been mad with grief and confusion. Then when Rose wanted to grow into herself and Donna insisted, insisted her last name be Noble and not Temple. He'd put up with her, put up with all of it, and complained to no one. For that alone he deserves her love forever. But for that reason he will also be excluded from any future knowledge of her life and her work.
And now, after fifteen years of an unfathomably heavy burden of embarrassment and shame and tears for her perceived ineptitude, for a breakdown she didn't even have, Donna is ready for some joy and some good work. She's ready to stop seeing herself as someone other people only tolerate. She's ready to stop feeling like she only tolerates herself.
And for all his generosity and easygoing spirit, Donna isn't sure how much longer Shaun will be willing to be on the outside of her life. He's been on the outside for so much of her thought process for as long as she's known him that in the end she has to admit she isn't quite sure what made her marry him. She thinks he will probably come to that same conclusion at some point, if not soon at least in the near future.
"Donna?"
Donna looks up from her bowl of pasta to see Shaun standing in the kitchen doorway.
"What are you doing up?" he asks. "It's 3 AM."
"I didn't eat," Donna says.
"Yeah, you were sleeping pretty good so Rosie knocked up dinner before I came home," Shaun says, coming to sit at the table with her. "I didn't want to wake you. I've never seen you sleep so deeply."
"I needed it," Donna says, taking another bite of her food. "You want some?" She offers him her fork.
"Nah," he says. "I just came down to make sure you're all right."
"I'm fine," Donna says. She smiles at her husband gently. "I actually got some decent rest."
"Where did that purple blanket come from?" Shawn asks. "I've never seen it before."
"It was on my bed on the TARDIS," Donna says, without thinking.
"Oh. You had a bed on that ship?" Shaun asks.
"Well, yes," Donna says. "It was my home for a year." She's gotten herself into it now, no doubt. "I had a very nice room and a nice bed, and that blanket was my favorite." She breathes deeply to steady herself. "I've been told by UNIT that I can't tell you anything about what goes on aboard the TARDIS. Intergalactic directive."
"Oh," Shaun says again, and he is quiet. "So you can't tell me anything you do at work? Or with the Doctor?"
"No," Donna says, aware of how he must feel.
"Oh," Shaun says again. "Er. I guess that's for safety?"
"Yeah," Donna says. "State secrets."
"That's quite a directive," Shaun says. "So this means I'm on the outside of your work, too. Like everything else."
"What do you mean?" Donna asks, in spite of having the same thought.
"Donna." Shaun takes one of her hands. "I have known you for fifteen years. And now I feel like I don't know you at all. You saved the world again, you saved the universe, and I have no idea how you did it or what happened. And now you can't tell me." He lets go of her hand. "I want you to know that I see how the Doctor looks at you. I see how you look at him. And this is one of those major life decisions you've made without me. Again."
"I didn't--"
"I'm not angry at you," Shaun says, holding up a hand. "But you obviously have something very big to do with your life, Donna. Something beyond all of us. Something you can't do tied to me."
"What d'you mean?" Donna asks again. She's glad the light is low so he can't see her blushing-- she can feel her cheeks are hot.
"I mean that I've watched you make life decisions that affect both of us without you ever consulting me," Shaun says. "And I've accepted it. I accept you. I always have."
"So then what are you saying?" Donna asks, feeling her heart constrict all at once.
"I'm saying, Donna, that maybe it's time for me to go. I can't keep feeling like I'm going to be a permanent outsider in your life."
There it is.
Donna doesn't know whether to be happy or devastated. "I don't understand," is all she can say.
"I'm nothing here," Shaun says. "I'm no one. Your mum and your grandad know nothing more than I do, but they're old and they're not obliged to know. You're my wife and I don't know you anymore. You're different."
Donna is quiet. "So was it easier when I was the sad one?" she asks. "When I had to depend on you?"
"No," Shaun says. "I hated seeing you suffer. Maybe you don't believe me anymore when I say I love you. But I love you enough to let you go and do this thing that you have to do with your life." He shrugs. "I've accepted you for who you are as long as I've known you. But I don't know you anymore, and even if it hurts, and it hurts--" His voice splits along the seams a little, "I know it's right. You know it's right."
"I don't know that," Donna says, feeling as though she could cry too. Again. More tears. She's so tired of tears.
"Yes, you do," Shaun says. "I think it's time for me to cut my losses. I can't ever smile at you the way the Doctor does. It's not possible. I don't know you the way he does. I didn't share his mind or his ship. And you had a bed on that ship. Am I supposed to believe the two of you never shared that bed?"
Donna knows for sure she is blushing red now. "I..." she says, and then: "No. You aren't."
"All right then," Shaun says. "Look, Donna, we both know this is better."
"Do we?" Donna asks.
"Everything will be all right," Shaun says. "We can sell the house and split the money and Rose can come and stay with me whenever she wants."
"Keep the house," Donna says. "You can have it. We don't have to sell it. It's yours."
Shaun nods silently. "Fine," he says. "That's good too."
"It's the one thing I did right by you," Donna says unsteadily.
"No," Shaun says. "You gave me a child. You made me happy. Now things have changed in ways that none of us could anticipate. But you can't think I haven't seen the two of you in the garden, or when you sit up late at night in the living room just talking. You can't think I don't see that. Where does that longing come from?"
"I can't explain it to you," Donna says.
"I know, your job."
"No, it's not that," Donna stops him. "It isn't work. I couldn't explain it to you before, because I didn't remember. Now I think I understand it even less, because he was gone for so long and he came back for me, and I never expected--" And she is crying, just quietly, because she is so relieved. An unexpected relief. "I never expected any of this. I never asked for any of this."
"So don't you think it's time for you to ask for what makes you happy?" Shaun asks. "If it isn't me, or it can't be me, why would I hold that against you? In the face of all this... space work you do? This is all so much bigger than us. And you are so clearly needed, by the Doctor and by our planet. And we had no idea until now."
Donna lowers her face into her hands.
"It's time to stop being ashamed," Shaun says. "I'm sorry that things aren't going the way you expected but you should know by now that they never will. And I just can't take that kind of danger or that uncertainty."
"I understand," Donna says from behind her hands. She picks her face up. "I said the same thing to him when I first met him."
"But then you spent your life looking for him," Shaun says. "And the two of you keep finding each other in this vast, stupid, unfathomable universe."
Donna nods wordlessly, more tears falling.
"And I've seen you cry so much over these fifteen years," Shaun says. "I've never once seen you have any relief from it and now I think you do." He sighs. "I know you, Donna, or I did at one point. I see the weight off you. I see the way you actually smile with your eyes now. I see how you are different. And because I love you, I want only what will make you happy. Can you want the same for me?"
"I always did," Donna says. "I always did. I never wanted to hurt you or exclude you."
"I believe you," Shaun says. "None of this was your choice, I believe you on that front."
"And I never, ever cheated on you," Donna says.
"I believe that too," Shaun says. "You hardly know which way is up at this very moment. I can't imagine you'd want to go shag some alien bloke when you've had your life upended again."
Donna wipes her eyes. "I'm sorry," she says.
"I know," Shaun says. "You just have to see if from my perspective. I've been on the outside the entire time. I've done my best and so have you. But this is bigger than all of us." He smiles a little painfully. "I thought I knew what you looked like in love, but now... I really know. And I can't be part of it."
"Okay," Donna says. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Me too," Shaun says. "But I can't do this life. We have a child we need to keep safe. I can't be shuttled back and forth between two houses and watch you look at that man like there is no one else around you. I see you. There's nothing for me here. So it's time for me to just... have a life I can accept. I'll drive my taxi and I'll do whatever it takes to make a life for myself."
"You won't be alone," Donna says. "I can help you."
"I don't want your help," Shaun says. "I want you to go and do what it is you need to do. That will be the way you pay me back for all these years. Fulfill your purpose. You married me because you didn't know better. Now you do. So be free."
"Is this really what you want?" Donna asks.
"Yes, I think it's right," Shaun says. "We can sit down and tell Rose tomorrow morning so she has the weekend to absorb it before she goes back to school."
"Oh, god," Donna says. "I think this might be the worst night of my life."
Shaun smiles a little bittersweet smile. "No," he says. "That's already happened to you. This might be the best thing that's ever happened to us as a couple. To just... not be one anymore."
So Donna takes her pillow and blanket from the master bedroom and goes to sleep in the spare bedroom, her bowl and cup in the sink unwashed. Shaun stays in the master suite.
In the morning over breakfast they sit down with Rose together and explain what they'd talked about. After her initial surprise, Rose's face turns sad. "And there's no way you can see to work it out?" she asks her father.
Shaun shakes his head. "I can't live like this," he says. "I need stability and I need safety, and as long as I am here, I will have neither of those. And I won't even be allowed to know what your mum does for work. It's too much."
Tears fill Rose's eyes. "Are you sure?" This is to both her parents.
"I think so," Donna says. "I'm sorry. But I think so."
"So what will happen next?" Rose asks.
"I'm going to move to France permanently," Donna says. "And your dad will keep the house in London, and if he decides to sell it, he can. Wherever he goes you'll have a home with him, and you always have a home in France with me."
"Where are you going in France?" Rose asks. "With the Doctor?"
Donna nods. "It's my other home," she says. "Well... it's my home too."
"Does the Doctor know?" Rose asks.
"No," Donna says. "But I will talk to him. He's coming to take you back to school on Sunday."
As it turns out, Donna is not home when the Doctor arrives to bring Rose back to school. She's out at the supermarket, and Rose is big-eyed and anxious when the TARDIS wheezes and groans into the back garden. She gives her father a huge, tight hug. "I love you, Dad," she says. "I'll always love you and I support your decision and I will always be your child no matter what."
Shaun tears up at that. "Thank you, darling. I'll see you when you come home again?"
"I'll be back," Rose promises. "I'll be around. You won't be alone."
"Your mum said that too," Shaun says. "Go. I love you. See you next weekend."
Inside the TARDIS Rose hugs the Doctor too. "You look less than chipper," the Doctor says. "You all right?"
"Yeah," Rose says. "Just thinking about something I can't change." And she says little else until the TARDIS lands with a smooth thump in the side courtyard of the UNIT school campus.
"Thank you," Rose says, gathering her things. "I'm coming home next weekend, if you want to get me. I can always take transport."
"The other kids will be jealous if they see you traveling by TARDIS all the time," the Doctor says. "I'll be back on Friday. Behave yourself."
"Never," Rose says, smiling, and walks off the TARDIS back to school.
For the next week, Donna operates awkwardly around Shaun, moving into the spare bedroom and going to London UNIT headquarters on the tube every morning instead of in his taxi so they can start their work day together. They have small conversations with no malice or arguing, just sadness. Donna comes home to an empty house, and Shaun starts staying out later to drive, so they miss each other in the mornings and evenings.
After the first awful night, when Donna sobbed into her pillows for a while after, she begins to accept that this is a time to move forward. She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't for Shaun to decide to leave.
But then what? she thinks. I would have been wearing two wedding rings? Or sleeping with both of them? Or cheating on my husband? Or what? She honestly doesn't know. What she does know now is that she's free. It's terrifying to be standing at the precipice of everything she wants and needs. She isn't sure she's brave enough to take it for herself. She contemplates just being alone, and almost right away has to let the thought go, because it's too late for that. And the thought of being without the Doctor again makes her heart tighten painfully and constricts her breath.
So that next Friday, when Donna has been texting with Rose all day to arrange her dropoff in London, the Doctor comes to collect Rose from school. She still has the same look of worry on her face, and the Doctor frowns a little.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asks.
Rose takes a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you something, but it's personal."
"Well, you are my favorite niece, and I'll decide what's too personal," the Doctor says.
So Rose just decides to ask it, no hesitation. Better not to. "Do you love my mum?" she asks.
"Well, of course," the Doctor starts, but Rose holds up a hand.
"Are you in love with her?" Rose clarifies.
"Oh," the Doctor says, his hands stilling on the console. "Er, I'm not sure that's--"
"I mean it," Rose says. "I need to know."
"She is married to your father," the Doctor says, resuming the flight sequence with a grimace. "I would never come between that."
"My parents broke up last week," Rose says, and the Doctor freezes. "So she didn't tell you. I thought not. I was wondering where you were."
"What?"
"My father decided he doesn't want this life and they broke up," Rose says. "I think they did the right thing."
The Doctor would be lying if he denied the painful pang of desperate hope and wanting he felt at those words. Instead he just clears his throat. "Is your mum all right?" he asks.
"You're glad," Rose says. "I can tell. You weren't happy she was married."
"Don't be angry with me," he says.
"No," Rose says. "I'm not angry. It's just another big thing we didn't expect. I think my dad is right. And I think my mum is right. So really, this is good."
"Are you all right?" the Doctor asks, knowing he should have asked this first.
Rose smiles a little. "There you are," she says. "You asked about my mum first. That alone tells me what I want to know."
The Doctor sighs. "Well," he says. "Let me get this ship in flight and I'll drop you home. And I'll talk to your mother. If she'll let me."
He enters the Noble house tentatively to find Donna standing in the kitchen, wearing a soft cream-colored dress and slippers. She looks like home. "Hello," she says, waving her spoon. "Staying for dinner?"
Rose kisses her mother on the cheek and disappears up the stairs with a meaningful look at the Doctor, who misses it because he's looking at Donna.
"I could do that," he says. "If you want."
Donna gestures to the kitchen table. "Sit," she says. "Thanks for bringing her home."
"I always will," he says. A short silence elapses. "I heard what happened." He sees Donna's shoulders drop, and she bows her head a little.
"Right to business, aren't you?" she asks him, turning around. "How did you know?"
"Rose," he says.
"Ah, I should've known."
"She loves you, Donna, she wants you to be happy."
"Well," Donna says, turning the heat down on her stovetop. "She told you Shaun doesn't want to be married anymore."
"Do you?" the Doctor asks. "That's the real question. I know you."
Donna takes a moment before she answers. "I don't," she says. "Can I tell you the truth?"
"It's all I ever want from you."
"I would never have married him without losing you," Donna says. "And if I have you back I have what I want, so in a way, it's not so bad." She watches the smile grow on his face, like a break of sun through clouds. He gets out of his chair, takes the spoon out of her hands, puts his hands in her hair, and kisses her. It's a kiss of memory, because they both know this in their bones. And it's a kiss for a new beginning, because they know that too.
"You'd really leave him?"
"He left me," Donna says. "He said he wanted to go. And that he didn't know me anymore, and that he didn't want the life. So I'm letting him go. I want him to be happy, and if he's not happy here, I want him somewhere he's happy."
"So what are you going to do next?" he asks.
"Thought I'd go home with you, didn't I?" Donna says, and this time she's ready for him when he kisses her.
"Are you sure you don't want me to fuck off to France forever and you can work it out?" he asks her, hoping, hoping, hoping.
"Don't you dare," she says. "I would die without you. Knowing what I know. How could you even ask me that? Fuck's sake." She says it with no rancor, but only half-teasing. She moves to stir the fragrant pot of beef mince she'd been working on for a pie. The Doctor winds an arm around her waist.
"Smells nice," he says. "When are you coming home, then?"
Donna smiles in profile, adding a bit more fresh thyme into the mix. "I'll wait til Shaun gets in from driving and I'll bring my things."
"What do you really need from here, anyway?" the Doctor asks. "You have clothes on the TARDIS."
"It's tacky not to move my things," Donna says. "Too much of a reminder. Besides, I always make sure he has a hot dinner when he's out late."
"Wife material, Donna Noble," he says, and she gives him a sidelong look.
"You have no idea," she says, and the tone of her voice makes it something much more naughty and fun. "I'll tell you what you can do," she says, "is not be here when Shaun gets here. Just wait for me on the TARDIS. I won't take long. Rose wants my books and knickknacks so I'll just empty my side of the closet and pack my jewelry."
Shaun gets home around eleven, the Doctor having disappeared back into the ship an hour before, so that Donna is alone in the living room reading. "Hello," Shaun says when he comes in. He sounds normal. Donna smiles a little.
"Hi," she says. "Dinner's in the oven warming up if you want it."
"What's on?"
"Beef mince pie," Donna says. It's an imitation of a conversation they've had a million times, but it's lost its savor.
"Sounds lovely."
"I thought I'd move my things out tonight," Donna says next.
"Oh," Shaun says. "Yeah, okay. Do you want help?"
"Nah," Donna says. "I've got it in hand."
"Are you getting picked up?" Shaun asks.
"Yeah," Donna says, and leaves it at that. "I just wanted to be sure you got home okay before I left. Didn't want to leave Rose alone."
"Ah, she's big, she'd be fine," Shaun says. He goes to the kitchen to dish himself up a plate and Donna goes upstairs to get her bags and goes to Rose's room with her purple blanket. She covers Rose gently, so as not to wake her, and goes downstairs. At the bottom of the staircase she looks back towards the kitchen. "Shaun?"
"Yeah?" he says, looking up from his plate.
Donna rushes into the kitchen and embraces him hard. "Thank you," she says. "I know you don't think I do, but I love you so much. You have no idea how you saved my life."
Shaun hugs her back and she feels his breath hitch. "I'll miss you," he says.
"I know, me too," Donna says, her own voice coming apart at the seams. "You will always be Rose's father, and you'll always have whatever you need. I will never let you go without. I'll make sure." She kisses his cheek, and holds him tight.
"Okay," he says. "I hope you're happy in France, Donna, I just want you to be happy."
"Me too for you," Donna says. She takes a few fortifying breaths before she lets go of him, which hurts much more than she expected, and wipes her eyes. "Well. I'm off, then."
"Yeah," Shaun says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Be careful."
"Bye," Donna says, her face so sad. But as she takes her bags towards the back door to the garden, where the TARDIS is waiting, she feels herself start to smile. Even through the tears, the joy of knowing that she'll be somewhere she's known and safe and loved, it's all priceless. It's all worth it.
She uses her TARDIS key to get in, and the Doctor helps her move her bags, just like he had fifteen years before. He sees the tears in her eyes and the brilliant smile on her face and gives her a long hug. "Welcome home," he says, the way she had all those months ago when he found his house.
"Oh," Donna says when he lets her go. "That was so much easier than I thought it would be. Thank god."
"Because it's what's supposed to happen," the Doctor says.
"Innit," Donna says, in her very Donna way. "Let's go to France, Spaceman."
"Let's go to France," he agrees. They circle the console in their usual way, and within three minutes they are landed in his back garden in Montresor. It's nearly midnight, so they decide to light the fire pit and sit out in the balmy night air for a while. There isn't much around so the stars are plentiful, and Donna settles herself on one of the loungers.
A free woman, she thinks. That is what I am right now. It wasn't Shaun who was the trap, of course, it was her own memory loss, but still, she feels like something very good is beginning. And though she feels horrible for hurting Shaun, she knows he is right when he says all of this is bigger than them. And though she had never expected him to leave her, she couldn't blame him. She knows him well enough to know that he wouldn't have said anything if he didn't really feel it.
"You all right?" the Doctor asks her, pulling his chair next to hers.
"Yeah," Donna says softly. It's actually true. "It was time."
"it was time," he says. "It was more than time." He takes her hand. "I'm so glad you came home. I was hoping you would." He stops himself. "I mean, I wasn't hoping you'd get divorced, but I was hoping you'd stay with me instead, and I--" He stops again. "Sorry. I'm saying that completely wrong."
"I know what you meant," Donna says, smiling. "Spaceman."
The affectionate nickname has always stuck with him. "I was thinking about something," the Doctor says after a while. "Why this face? Why this me?"
Donna nods. "Any breakthroughs?"
"Yeah," the Doctor says. "I know why this face is back. You were right. I wanted to come home, but you are my home. I wanted to be that man that you loved back then, so here I am again. This is the face you know. It was for you. All of it."
"D'you know what I love?" Donna asks him by way of an answer. "The way you say 'my Donna.' Makes me so happy. Even the not-thing knew about that."
He just smiles. "It's true," he says, shrugging as if it's the most well-known fact in the world. "You are. You always have been."
"I think something is happening here that has never happened before," Donna says. "I think that I am getting exactly what I want and need at the same time for the first time in my life."
"It's all yours," the Doctor says. He sits up. "Hey," he says. "Grandad gave me some biscuits last time he was here, do you want some?"
Donna smiles again at how he calls Wilf "Grandad" now, like real family. "Let's have some," she says. "Why not?" He brings her back a box of Jaffa cakes and another of Chocolate Hobnobs, and Donna laughs. "The most basic British biscuits to exist," she says. "You like a Hobnob?"
"Love a Hobnob," the Doctor says. "Simple and delicious."
"Well," Donna says, taking a Jaffa cake from the box, "we are in France and as such, we will be eating French pastries just as often as these little things." She turns onto her side on the lounger to look at him as he sits down next to her again. "We'll go walking, and we'll take little trips when I have holiday time, and we'll just be." She takes a bite. "It's all I ever wanted anyway," she adds. "Mm, raspberry jam."
"What'll I do while you're at work?" the Doctor asks. Donna smiles with her whole heart at this.
"Oh, will you miss me? Whatever you want except running off to fight aliens," she says. "Don't you have any hobbies, Spaceman?"
"Not Earth hobbies," he says.
"Ah, so something for you to explore," Donna says. "Even the weird stuff. No one has to know what you do."
The Doctor starts to laugh, looking at her earnest face. "That sounds like fun."
"Yeah," Donna says. "You can... tinker, you know? Build things. Paint things. Pick up the guitar. Something like that."
They stay out in the garden talking until nearly sunrise, when Donna drifts off in the middle of a sentence, finally tired. The Doctor, who has different needs for sleep than humans, wakes her up to go get into her bed. "It's Saturday," he says. "You can sleep as late as you want."
Donna's room in the house in France is her own now, furnished with a big comfortable bed, an armchair, tall, rounded airy windows covered with white curtains, and plush rugs. She climbs into her bed with relief and buries herself in her blankets, so that she looks like a little kid peeking out from the covers. "You gonna join me?" she asks him.
"To sleep?" he asks, and shrugs. "Sleep is boring."
Donna smiles immediately, both their faces full of intent. "All right," she says. "I'll be boring for a while." She's still wearing her clothes from the night before, so she discards them piece by piece and tosses them on the floor. "See you, Spaceman. Join me or don't, but I'm definitely going to sleep."
He pulls the blankets down off her to get a good look at her, and kisses her. "I'll never let you sleep like this," he says. "So good night. Or good morning. Come back to me when you're rested."
"Your self-control is something else," Donna grumbles good-naturedly, laying back on the bed without covering herself back up.
"Er, it's not," he says. "It's killing me. But you need to sleep."
"You need to sleep," Donna says.
"Later," he says. "I'm going to go watch some telly and make breakfast. You eat whenever." And with another kiss, his thumb making a short, electric circle on her right nipple, he goes back downstairs. Donna rolls over onto her stomach and actually sleeps.
She finds him at noon in the garden sort of just looking off into the distance. She comes outside in just her bathrobe and slippers, joining him on the chair next to him. "What're you looking at, then?" she asks, and he seems to come out of deep thought.
"Nothing," he says. "Slept well?"
"Never better," she says, exhaling contentedly. "Haven't slept in fifteen years."
"Right," he says, with a laugh of recognition.
"Nice day," Donna comments.
"Gorgeous," he says, looking at her instead of the sky. "Want a coffee?"
"Yes," she says. "Would be amazing."
So he gets up and brings her out a hot coffee with cold milk, just like she likes it, in a flowered mug she'd bought at a shop in their little town. He hands it to her and kisses her forehead so that she tilts her chin up to him to kiss him properly. "Don't spill it," he says to her against her lips.
"Fuck off," Donna says, smiling, skimming her tongue along his bottom lip. She puts the mug down on the little glass topped table next to her. "What do you do on Saturdays, then?" she asks.
"That question has a different answer now that you're here," the Doctor says.
"Oh," Donna says, interested.
"For example, if you weren't here, I might just spend the day doing nothing," he says. "But since you're here, maybe we should take a little trip to Prague or something. See some castles? Have lunch on a tropical island somewhere?"
"Ooh, Spaceman, you do know how to talk to a woman," Donna says, laughing.
"We also don't have to go anywhere, given that robe you're wearing," the Doctor says, giving her a good once-over. "That's all you're wearing, Donna Noble."
"That's true," Donna says. "Get used to it. I live here now and I never had the chance to just be naked. I always had people around me."
"Oh, you'll never hear me object," he tells her. "You're home. I'll have you in every room of this house."
Donna just regards him contentedly, full of desire and happiness. "So," she says. "Did you think any more about that Earth name?"
"No," the Doctor says. "Do I have to?"
"People will ask," Donna says. "They might accept Doctor as a nickname, but you need some kind of name for your registrations and everyday interactions."
The Doctor shrugs. "What are you going to call me? Are you going to stop calling me Doctor?"
"Not unless you want me to," Donna says. "But for other people it's just handy. I'll tell you what; you should ask Rose. She picked her own name. You should see what she says."
"I'll do that," he says, smiling.
"Right," Donna says, draining the last of her coffee. "I'm going for a shower." She gets up and says, "Are you joining me, Spaceman?"
He grins at her. On the TARDIS they never cared to stop their conversation or interrupt themselves for something as trivial as bathing, so the Doctor would often sit by her bathtub or outside her shower, or they would keep a video link open so they could keep talking. "C'mon, then," he says.
Donna has her own bathroom now, since the floor with her bedroom has Rose's room on it and no other. The Doctor's room is on the third floor, a sprawling master suite with an attached bathroom that was nearly as glorious as the one Donna had made for herself on the TARDIS. Her own bathroom is large and airy, with a tub and a shower, and Donna drapes her robe over the towel rack, standing there naked and adjusting the shower to her liking. It's not like the TARDIS which knew her preferred temperatures and which soaps she liked. It's ordinary, and comforting, and the Doctor seats himself on the counter the way he always used to, just watching her with a smile.
âWeâve got to find a little cafĂ©,â she says, âto be our spot.â She steps into the shower behind the glass door. The glass begins to steam up from the heat of the water so Donna swipes away a swath. âCan you fix it?â she asks. âI canât see you.â
The smile on his face grows even wider and he pulls out the sonic to press it to the glass so that it wonât retain stain or steam. âBetter,â Donna says, as she reappears from behind the steam. âDidnât have that issue on the TARDIS. Anyway.â She gives him a smile in return. âWhat was I saying?â
âThereâs a cafĂ© in town,â the Doctor says. âThat can be our spot.â
"All right," Donna agrees. "I should work out a schedule with Shaun for when Rose is here. She can decide, of course, but I want to make sure he doesn't miss out on her."
"Her dorm mother says she's coming out of her shell a lot," the Doctor says. "She's a lot happier."
Donna nods, sighing. "Yeah," she says. "She's so smart, but she got tortured by those boys at school and it got in her way."
"You'd never know she had any issues from her grades," the Doctor says.
"That's my girl," Donna says. She lathers her hair with shampoo.
"Now this is what I missed," the Doctor says, watching her as she moves around the shower.
"Ah, you were always the best company," Donna says. She scrubs herself clean, her hair glossy with conditioner. "When are you going to take a shower?" she asks.
"Do I stink?" he asks.
"No, but what's the standard?" Donna asks.
He smiles. "I'll shower every day if it makes you happy, but it's not necessary for me."
"Martian," Donna says, stepping under the water to rinse herself off. She turns off the water and steps out of the shower, her hand out for her towel. The Doctor doesn't move. Donna smiles.
"Are you trying to get a look at me naked or something?" she asks.
"Always," he says. He wraps her towel around her and pulls her up against him.
"I'm all wet, Spaceman, you'll get your clothes wet--"
"Don't give a fuck," he tells her, with an openmouthed kiss that proves his words. He follows a bead of water with his tongue, down her neck to her right breast, and Donna inhales. "Don't even know why you wear clothes around me," he adds. "Especially now."
"Told you, I always had people around me," Donna says, her voice breathless. "Oh, Doctor."
"You want me to pick an Earth name when you say 'Doctor' like that?" he asks, and Donna bites her lip. "You always said it so nice."
"Oh, I'll call you whatever you want," she says, watching him use her towel to dry her body for her. She tilts her head to the side, regarding his bent head. "Having fun?" she asks.
"Mm," he answers, flicking a look in her eyes and going back to massaging the towel along her hips and waist.
She thinks that he looks thin, and tired, but less than he did before. She thinks that even though he is thin and tired, he is filled with a kind of wanting that he's clearly suppressing to the best of his ability. That must be hard work, she thinks. "Oh," she says a moment later, when she feels him rub the towel between her thighs. "You'll never get that dry around you, Spaceman," she tells him, and his eyes snap to her face.
"Good," the Doctor says. Donna gasps again, rising on her toes a little bit when he dips his fingers between her legs. Then he sticks those fingers in his mouth, like he's been in a jam jar, and says "Still delicious."
"You remember," Donna says.
"As if I could ever forget," he says. "I've waited a long, long time for you, Donna."
"Then how long are you gonna make me wait for you?" Donna asks.
"I didn't want to move too fast," he says. "I've only just got you back. Couldn't live with myself if I fucked it up."
"Impossible," Donna says immediately. "You're fucking stuck with me, Spaceman. I'm not going anywhere."
He takes the towel back from around her and rubs his face with it. She gives him a look of scandalized delight. "Why don't you get dressed and we'll go and shop?" he says. "It's Saturday, we should party. Get a bunch of wine and pastries."
"You're no fun," Donna says.
"Oh, I'm so much fun," he says. "I think I made you a promise, something about every room in this house?"
"You did," Donna says.
"But I also promised Grandad some of the green beans from the market, and they're only here today," the Doctor says. "Otherwise he has to wait a week."
"Oh, no, a week," Donna teases, but she is so moved by his care for her grandfather. They're thick as thieves, the two of them, and though the Doctor looks younger he is not. The combination of boyish silliness and wonder alongside the soldier's broken heart in both of them makes them comrades. They can relate, having seen the worst of the worst and still believing in the best. She loves them both to overflowing for it.
"Fine, we'll buy some wine and pastries and beans," Donna says. She turns to go without her towel and the Doctor follows her immediately. In her bedroom he turns her to face her full-length mirror so she can see herself. He stands behind her, his hands on her hips.
"I won't make you wait forever," he says, and points at the mirror. "Watch." And he dips his fingers back down between her legs and doesn't stop until Donna is begging for more and mercy at the same time. "See?" he tells her. "Look at how you look. That's you and me and this is what we're supposed to be doing."
"Yes, yes," she moans. "I want it."
"It's yours," he says. "For as long as you want it."
Donna is pretty sure she can hardly stand for pleasure, but he's holding her up so she won't collapse. "That'll hold you over," he says to their reflection. "Get dressed," he adds. Donna reaches up to kiss him hard, to make him fuck her then and there, but even though he is ready for her (has been ready for her for millions of years) and even though she gets a hand down below his belt and she knows exactly what he likes, he steps back from her.
"So you're just going to edge me all day?" Donna asks.
"Trust me," he tells her, and licks his fingers again. "Put your clothes on, Donna Noble. Otherwise we're getting nothing done today and we need food." Donna grumbles about responsibilities, but gets dressed, the Doctor sitting contentedly on her bed watching.
They are about twenty minutes outside of the town proper, along a bright country lane lined with fields on either side. Donna has bags and a basket, a hat and a pretty blue dress. The Doctor offers her his arm and they make the walk together for a leisurely half-hour.
The farmer's market is in the square of the town, and there are various stalls set up. Donna makes the obvious jokes about the cucumbers and corn on the cob but only so the Doctor can hear since she knows the TARDIS translation circuit means everyone will be able to understand her. Donna notices him squinting in the afternoon sun and hands him her sunglasses. They get a generous portion of green beans along with the rest of the produce and then they stop at the butcher for chicken, the boulanger for fresh bread, and the patisserie. Donna picks out a bunch of tarts and pastries, as well as a big bag of freshly ground coffee beans.
On the walk back Donna takes his hand instead of his arm, and the Doctor takes two of the bags from her so that she's only carrying the basket. "Should we bring him the beans or have him over?" Donna asks.
"Tomorrow he can come over for dinner," the Doctor says. They walk quietly for a while in the warm sunshine. These moments are so ordinary for a human, but there is something golden about it for both of them; aware that in the broad, unfathomable scope of time and breadth of the universe they are on the same path again. And that path is a sunny country lane in one of the most beautiful places in the world, just them. The elegant simplicity of it convinces him this is the right place to be.
Instead of dinner, they eat pastries in the garden like two kids, drinking coffee and laughing over everything and nothing. Afterwards the Doctor keeps his promise about every room in the house (except Rose's room). They end up in his bedroom, Donna asleep with an arm flung over him while the TV plays a movie. The Doctor sits at his ease in a robe, something he's got to try and become accustomed to, his legs outstretched and his ankles crossed. He has his glasses on, providing him subtitles and analysis and tracking his surroundings as he watches. In his left peripheral the glasses keep a running track of Donna's vital functions and sleep pattern.
After an hour or so he moves and Donna makes a sleepy noise of discontent as she feels him start to shift. Her eyes open. "Don't go," she says. "I want you."
The words wrap around his heart like an embrace. "Okay," he says hoarsely, and moves back into the warm spot he'd been in. Donna settles back against him.
âCanât sleep without you,â she murmurs. She picks up one of his hands and presses his fingers against her temple, then sleepily places hers against his, caressing his cheek as she does so. Instinctively he entrains onto the psychic connection, built of the remnants of their shared consciousness. In the past they had used this connection for sex, among other things, but now Donna just breathes, her sleepiness and contentment in his arms communicated to him without words. So he can feel what she does. She sends him the feeling of sleeping in his arms, so he knows. She sends him little images of them asleep together like a wave of sedative joy. And among all of it is the feeling of wanting, the word stay, the feeling of being protected. And then she sends him a memory of sleepy, easy sex in the dark, aboard the TARDIS in her bed. She drops her hand to wind her arm around him again.
âThat too,â he says softly to her.
âMm-hm,â she says, and her breathing evens out a moment later. He presses three kisses to the top of her head and closes his eyes to see if it works.
When his eyes open again the sun is up, painting stripes of bright light across the polished wood floor. Donna is sound asleep next to him, so he scoots out of the bed quickly and unobtrusively. Just enough time to go to that one bakery on that one street on that one planet that made those moonfruit tarts that Donna loved all those years ago.
Donna's eyes fly open immediately at the sound of the TARDIS wheezing and groaning. She's out of bed faster than she can remember in years, and down the stairs. In the kitchen the Doctor is standing there setting up the French press for two fresh cups of coffee, and Donna nearly skids to a halt. She pushes her hair out of her face, trying to act as though she had not just run down the stairs in a panic that he'd decided to disappear off into danger.
But the Doctor knows her. He gives her a wry, affectionate look and says, "Good morning."
"Morning," Donna says, moving to sit at the kitchen table. "Where've you been, then?"
"Might have been off getting us a little breakfast," he says. He hands her a green paper box from the counter. "Have a look?"
Donna lifts the top and looks for a moment. "Oh!" she says, realizing. "I remember these! They were fruit tarts. From that planet... Alabria. I remember that!" She looks up at him with shining eyes. "Moonfruits! These were so good, weren't they?"
"You remember," the Doctor says.
"Yeah," Donna says. "And no blowing up my head to remember it."
So they eat a leisurely breakfast in the kitchen, and spend the day cleaning and tidying in preparation for Wilf. Around five PM Donna starts to cook. She sets up her Bluetooth speaker and phone and starts to prep and wash. She has filets of chicken, a bag of potatoes, the bounty of haricots verts, and a fresh loaf of bread in the bread box. She puts her chicken in a bowl to marinate, then pulls out a very expensive wooden cutting board. All of her kitchen equipment is top of the line; expensive, high-quality items she'd synthesized on the TARDIS to spare the expense of buying them. She has cast iron everything, chef-quality knives, a stand mixer, a pasta-maker, a waffle iron, everything she ever wanted in a kitchen. She makes quick work of the onions and rinses the beans, spreading them on a baking sheet with olive oil and salt to roast in the oven. She chops fresh herbs, even chiffonades some basil for extra fanciness. In a pan she puts butter, fresh garlic, chopped onions, rosemary, thyme, basil, and tarragon.
The Doctor hears music from where he is standing in his bedroom looking through his top drawer for something he wanted to show Wilf. He looks up from his perusal and follows the sound down the stairs. He goes through the living room towards the kitchen and stops a few paces back. In the kitchen is Donna, dressed in a long green-and-white patterned dress, dancing between stove and counter, her red hair glinting in the light, her hips swaying to the beat. The air smells delicious and comforting. She doesn't notice him, so he stays there for a bit, thinking that he'll never leave this little French outpost as long as she lives.
Partway through a turn Donna spots him and stops, embarrassed at being caught. "Hello, Spaceman," she says, smiling ruefully. She can tell by the silly smile on his face and the look in his eyes he's been standing there for a bit. He always gets that soft-eyed expression when she isn't looking and he thinks she hasn't noticed. "How long have you been standing there, then?"
The Doctor only shrugs and comes into the kitchen, inhaling appreciatively. "The combination of the music, the food, and the beautiful woman in my house just... brought me down here." He melds himself to Donna's body, her back to his front, finally free to be as intimate with her as he pleases. "What's all this?" he asks, resting his hands warmly on her hips as he surveys the chicken sizzling merrily in its herbed butter sauce.
"It is poulet au Provence," Donna says, in perfect French. "And I have the beans in the oven and the potatoes on to boil. So we can go get Grandad when it's just about ready so he doesn't have to wait." She points to the counter. "We have wine, and we have lemons for his water, so besides dessert I think we're pretty set. What do you think?"
"I think that I love you," the Doctor says, pressing a kiss to her head. "I'll go get Grandad and we'll bring you back dessert, deal?"
"Deal," Donna says, and looks up over her shoulder at the Doctor. "I love you too, Spaceman." She puts her hands over his to savor the moment before he moves away.
Half an hour later she hears the Doctor and her grandfather laughing in the garden, the Doctor pushing Wilf's wheelchair along their path to the back door. "Hello, Donna, my love!" Wilf greets his granddaughter cheerily from the door. He's holding a box that turns out to have a strawberry shortcake in it, frosted in fresh whipped cream. Once inside the house, Wilf eases himself into his comfortable chair in the sunroom, and Donna comes to give him a hug.
"Hello, Gramps," she says, smiling. "We got you those beans. It's about twenty more minutes until we eat, so you make yourself comfortable. Do you want anything?"
"I'm going to talk to your Doctor for a while," Wilf says. "If you don't need him."
Donna smiles, flicks an affectionate glance at the Doctor and says, "I never need him for anything, he's all yours." She goes back to the kitchen, humming along with her music.
In the living room Wilf looks around and says, "Looks lovely in here."
"We haven't changed anything since you were here last," the Doctor says.
"I know," Wilf says. "Just homey, that's all. Anyone else here?"
"Nah," the Doctor says. "Don't know if you know what happened?"
"Oh," Wilf says. "Yes, with Shaun. About that. How is she?"
The Doctor sighs, shrugging a little, remembering how she'd looked with her head thrown back in pleasure the night before, wrapped around him in his lap on the sofa where he is sitting. "She's here permanently now," he says. "I think she's going to be all right once the shock wears off."
"She looks happy," Wilf says. "I'm glad she seems to be all right. She sleeping?"
"Now she is, yes," the Doctor says. "She says she wasn't before."
"Yeah, yeah," Wilf says, nodding. "She'd be up most nights until about 4 AM. It made the newborn stage easy with Rosie, though. She was just... awake. She said she had nightmares all the time and that sleeping wasn't restful for her anyway. She refused to take sleeping medicine and just lived with it."
The Doctor looks over his shoulder at Donna in the kitchen, still shaking her hips to the music as she whisks the mashed potatoes into fluffy peaks and adds butter and salt. "My poor Donna," he says. "She's been through a lot."
"She used to say she felt like a refugee," Wilf says. "She blamed herself for forgetting, and she worked really hard to make sure we didn't feel like she was dependent on us in any way. She went right back to work and she married Shaun and soldiered through."
"She must be tired," the Doctor says.
"Not like you and me of course," Wilf says. "But yeah. My girl. She deserves a break." He smiles and chuckles a little. "When she was wee she looked like Little Orphan Annie. Just a head full of red curls like you've never seen before. The other girls used to call her Carrots and make her cry."
"I'd love to see pictures of her," the Doctor says.
"I'll show you some when you take me home," Wilf says. "She tried to cut all her hair off one day but I caught her before she could make the first cut. Sylvia was furious of course, but no harm was done. We asked her why and said she didn't want to be ugly anymore. She was about six, I think."
"My Donna? Ugly?" the Doctor says.
"She was convinced," Wilf shrugs. "She never really got over that hurt, I think. It's always affected her. Ugly and stupid, that was usually her line. And Sylvia was no help, so she never really listened to anyone that told her otherwise."
"I mean, have you seen her?" the Doctor says, pointing towards the kitchen.
"I know," Wilf says. "She's my only granddaughter, she's always been my favorite. She just can't remember." He sniffs appreciatively. "Smell that good food," he adds. "She's got such a talent for cooking." He smiles at the Doctor. "So? How's living with her?"
Wilf can tell by the look in the Doctor's eyes that he's happy. "It's only been a few days of her being here permanently but I never wanted her to go in the first place, so you can imagine how I feel," the Doctor says. He looks as if he could cry from joy again, a look Wilf has seen so often since he returned. "But I think we're going to be great."
"Take care of her for me," Wilf says. "You don't have to marry her--"
The Doctor huffs a laugh. "I wasn't planning on asking, but I doubt she'd say yes to me anyway."
"Just make her happy," Wilf says. "She's been through so much, and she needs you so badly. It's been like watching a horror movie to see her live the last fifteen years. Even with Rosie and all."
"She hasn't said much," the Doctor says.
"I hope she will someday," Wilf replies. "My poor girl."
"You make it sound like she suffered a lot," the Doctor says. "What happened?"
"She tried to kill herself a couple of times before she found out she was pregnant," Wilf says. "But for god's sake don't tell her I told you."
The Doctor is horrified. "What?"
"Yeah, we had to talk her out of it a few times," Wilf says. "Luckily she spoke up every time, but--"
"Every time? How many times was this?"
"Four," Wilf says. "Twice within the first year or so. She kept insisting that she had no reason to live. And this was before Shaun and the wedding." Wilf grimaces. "She was so matter-of-fact about it. She said she'd obviously lost everything and was insane and had no reason to stay alive any longer. She used to sneak out to the garden at night when she thought I couldn't hear her crying. She used to look through my telescope for hours, but she never could say what she was looking for."
Donna comes into the room with a plate of cheese and crackers. "Stilton?" she asks, her eyes twinkling with happiness. The Doctor and Wilf are both looking at her with such tenderness, the Doctor's face a bit helpless with love. Donna's smile fades a little. "What is it?"
"Oh, nothing," Wilf says. "We were just discussing something."
"Oh," Donna says. "Have a snack, Grandad, it's an appetizer. We'll be at the table in ten minutes. D'you want to eat outside?"
"Sure," Wilf says. "Go on, roll me outside now so I can enjoy the garden while you get ready. Don't you want my help?"
"Absolutely not," Donna says, smiling again.
The Doctor helps Wilf back into his wheelchair and rolls him outside to the table on the patio. He pats Wilf on the shoulder and goes back into the kitchen where Donna is plating up big clouds of mashed potatoes and topping them with chicken and vegetables. She sprinkles fresh parsley on top with a mock flourish and says, "Dinner is served, monsieur."
He takes the little container of herbs out of her hand, buries his hands in her hair, and kisses her thoroughly. Donna relaxes into him after a moment, and when he lets her go she's a little shiny-eyed. "What was that for?" she asks.
"For being here," the Doctor says simply. He picks up two of the plates. "Come on, Donna Noble. Another ordinary night awaits us."
They give Wilf half a glass of wine since he isn't technically supposed to be drinking with his medications, but Donna doesn't have the heart to deny him at least a few sips of the best French vintage they have to offer. The evening is balmy and warm, populated with crickets and cicadas singing in the foliage. They talk and laugh and eat cake, and Wilf stays up until about midnight. Around then he asks the Doctor for a lift back to London instead of staying the night, and murmurs, "I've got a photo album for you." So Donna kisses her grandfather goodnight and lets her two favorite men go off on a ship through space and time, knowing soon enough the Doctor will be back. Wilf's hands are full of fresh green beans in a bag and an extra slice of cake in a tupperware container.
When the Doctor returns he's holding a leather-bound photo album and a little box. Donna has finished the dishes and put away the food and is sitting in the kitchen with another glass of wine and her laptop, just browsing Facebook idly. So he joins her at the table and says, "Look what Wilf gave me."
Donna looks up from her screen and says, "Oh, that's his photo album!" She looks happy. "He loves that old book."
"He said he wanted me to look through it," the Doctor says. "Maybe we can do that."
"What's that?" Donna asks, pointing to the small box.
"Ah," the Doctor says. He pushes the box towards her. "That, is for you."
"From Grandad?"
"No," he says. "From me." He regards her with a bit of trepidation, his tongue braced against his bottom lip.
"Oh, you don't have to--" Donna opens the box and stops. "That's a ring, Spaceman," she says, looking up at him.
"It's not a wedding ring," he hastens to assure her. "it's not an engagement ring or anything like that. It's just... a ring. Made it for you on the TARDIS. I was just thinking."
"It's gorgeous," Donna says, as the low kitchen light catches the stone and metal. It's an exquisite blue sapphire, round and perhaps a carat and a half in weight, set in yellow gold flanked with finely tooled blossoms on either side. Small, perfect diamonds wink at their centers.
Blue for her eyes, blue for the TARDIS, blue for the limitless sky they travel together, and flowers because ever since he met her his path has been strewn with them. He wishes the same for her, since she has brought joy and beauty into his life again.
"It's not a wedding ring," he says again, and Donna takes the ring out of the box. She hands it to him.
"You were the first man to put a ring on me," she says. "It's only fitting you should be the last."
He gives her a speaking look, his eyes full of many emotions, and Donna expects him to pick up her left hand. Instead he goes for her right hand, sliding the ring onto her ring finger and kissing the back of her hand reverently. "So you remember that you're here by choice," he says, tugging her left ring finger gently. "And that you are my right hand."
"I am here by choice," Donna says, a few big tears springing up and rolling down her face. "Sorry," she adds. "I wasn't expecting that." She gets up to get a napkin to wipe her eyes and the Doctor follows her to the counter. She wraps him up tight around his middle. "I don't care about your ship or your time travel or any of it," she says, resting her head against his chest. "I just want you. I choose you."
He props his chin on the top of her head. "Thanks," he says quietly. "I know it's only been a week--"
"Oh, I think Shaun might have made his mind up a while ago," Donna says, her voice a bit unsteady. "I don't blame him. I don't want him to be sad. I don't want him to think I picked UNIT over him."
"You picked me over him," the Doctor says. "Whether you realized it or not, you did. And he saw it. He could have chosen to stay, but then what?"
"I had the same thought," Donna says. She doesn't dispute him. "Where is the line between us?" she asks. "What would I have done? Have two husbands? Worn two rings and pretended like you were a boarder or something? Imagine what Nerys would have to say. I bet she already has the rumor mill at full speed back in London."
"D'you think she'll put a move on Shaun?" the Doctor asks.
"He'd rather eat his own foot," Donna says with certainty, and the Doctor bursts out laughing. Donna sighs. "He's such a good bloke. He's good, down to his bones. He accepted me for who I was, he didn't blame me the way I blamed myself. He stayed when I gave away the money. He stayed when Rose transitioned, and he loves her still just as much. He works hard, and he cares about his family."
"Do you miss him?" the Doctor asks.
"Of course," Donna says. "Yes. But not in a way that would make me want to force him back here. He said he doesn't want this." She sighs, inhaling the scent of his soap and cologne, Earth habits he'd picked up long before he met her. The dual heartbeats thump in concert against her ear. "I s'pose there really is no line between us, eh, Spaceman?" she murmurs.
"Nah," he says, and she can hear his voice resonating in his chest. "Who needs it?" His hands move in comforting circles on her back. "Would you want both of us?"
Donna laughs against him. "Who has time or energy for that?"
"Ah, well," the Doctor says. "I'd rather have you entirely to myself anyway. Don't really want to share."
"Would you have?"
"Of course, if you wanted," the Doctor says. "I would have done anything for you. Anything to keep you in my life. Even stayed away, if that's what you wanted."
"Impossible," Donna says.
"I would also have given up the sex if that's what you wanted and just been your friend."
"Impossible," Donna repeats, and he smiles to himself, glad that she can't see the relief and triumph on his face.
"That's quite hot," he says, tapping her behind lightly and letting her go. "So. Hope you like the ring."
Donna looks down at her hand. "I love it," she says, and she means it. "I will wear it forever."
The next morning Donna reports to the London headquarters of UNIT for work, dropped off as usual by the Doctor in the TARDIS. She makes it her business to get her morning work done quickly, and goes to the Transport Division garage around lunch time. There she quietly puts Shaun's CV and a job application in, and in a week he's been hired as a Transport Supervisor at a salary of seventy-five thousand pounds a year.
Shaun will never know it was Donna who got him hired.
Rose visits every other weekend, always happy to see her mother and always willing to update both the Doctor and Donna on how her father is doing. She tells them about the new job at UNIT, and how Shaun is thriving in his position as supervisor, and how he seems to be settling into the house without Donna more easily than expected. The Doctor leaves Donna and her daughter to talk in Rose's room.
"The two of you should talk," Rose says to her mother. "He's doing okay, but I know he's sad."
"Does he want to talk to me?" Donna asks. "He seemed so final about everything. Like he didn't have anything left to say to me." The thought makes her throat close with grief. "I didn't know what he'd want," she finishes.
"I think he just wants to settle down into a life that's not going to keep being upended," Rose says. "And I can't say I blame him, Mum. We... you did sort of make his life chaos."
To Rose's surprise, tears start to well in her mother's eyes. "I know," Donna says. "I know. It was wrong of me." She wipes her eyes. "Is he angry at me?"
"No," Rose says. "He misses you. But he told me he has no regrets."
Donna lowers her head for a moment. "I hope he knows that I love him anyway."
"Yeah," Rose says, and she feels like she could cry too. "He does. He says he loves you, but that he stepped back for a reason."
There is a little silence. "All right," Donna says. "This is a conversation I can have with him when I see him again. Your birthday is coming up. I want to have a party for you here and your father should be part of it." She sighs. "What is he doing with himself outside of work?"
"He's got friends," Rose says. "He goes down the pub on Wednesdays and last week he took Grandad with him for trivia. He's joined a football league at work, too." She notices her mother seems relieved to hear it.
"And school? How are you?"
Rose shrugs a bit. "You've seen my grades."
"Yes, but your friends? Are they treating you all right?"
"Mum, it's light years away from public school in London," Rose says. "There are other girls like me around. It's just another world."
"And you're happy?" Donna asks.
"Mum, you ask me this all the time," Rose says, smiling. "I'm happy. I'm happy there. I can be myself. And I'm safe."
"All right," Donna says. "I can't ask for anything more."
Rose's eyes fall on Donna's right hand. "What a gorgeous ring," she says. "Where did you get this?"
Donna's eyes go to the Doctor before she can help herself, and Rose smiles. "He has very good taste, doesn't he?" She sees the glow of happiness in her mother's smile, something that she had rarely seen in the past. There is an emptiness about her that has been filled, a sense of completion. Donna just looks... different.
They spend a quiet weekend together, the three of them taking a few trips locally to sit by the river for a picnic. Sunday night Donna is standing in the kitchen cooking while Rose and the Doctor are sitting in the garden, talking rather seriously if their postures are any indication. From inside the warm, airy kitchen, Donna thinks she'll never leave this little French outpost as long as she lives.
The nights are starting to cool off as they approach mid-October, so Rose is wearing a giant hoodie over her clothes and sitting bunched up in one of the lounger chairs. She has been sitting in contented silence with the Doctor for a few minutes, just enjoying her coffee and the evening.
"So," the Doctor says. "What kind of mother is your mum?"
Rose smiles at the look in his eyes. He wants to know everything he missed. She looks over her shoulder at her mother, who is absorbed in her cooking. "She's the best mother I could have asked for in this world," Rose says, and he can tell she means it. "She has been by my side at absolutely every point in my life. She has been my strongest advocate and she has never failed me."
"That's my Donna," the Doctor says, and Rose can hear the warmth with which he says it, the easy possessiveness.
"I would be nowhere without her," Rose says. "She has always accepted me for who I am and protected me as I became myself. I'm safe with her, unconditionally, and that's all a child needs from their mother."
Safe with her, unconditionally, the Doctor thinks. That's my Donna. "What was she like when you were little?"
"The most fun!" Rose says. "She played sports with me, she taught me to read books and music, she taught me to cook and bake." Rose shrugs. "I can't remember a single hurt I had as a little kid that my mother didn't fix."
"That's my girl," the Doctor says again.
"You really love her," Rose says.
The Doctor doesn't hide the fact that he's blushing a little. "Yeah," he says. "She's safe with me, unconditionally." He points a finger at her. "And so are you, miss."
"Yeah, about that," Rose says. "I have to ask you."
"Yes?"
"Mum says you contributed some of my DNA?"
The Doctor grimaces. She had known the answer to this before the metacrisis released itself, but he has to explain it again to her now that it's gone. "Your mum underwent a biological metacrisis, yes," he says. "Her DNA and mine were fused through an energy collision that resulted in a human hybrid being created, that had her humanness and my Time Lord consciousness."
"What?" Rose asks. "So she had a baby with you?"
"No," the Doctor says. "Er... that hybrid was an adult and it grew out of a spare... body part I had lying around."
Rose's face is just like Donna's when she'd heard those words. "So... you're like starfish?" Rose asks. "You lop a bit off and a new one grows?"
It's so like what Donna had said all those years ago that the Doctor has to laugh. "Yes," he says. "In the simplest terms."
"And that means your DNA is in me too?"
"Well... it altered your mum's mind and body forever," the Doctor says. "She ended up with my consciousness too, and my DNA fused to hers. So technically... you have some of my DNA in your makeup. No 23 and Me for you, young lady."
"That's fucking weird," Rose says after a silence. "So do I have two fathers?"
"No, no, no," the Doctor hastens to assure her. "Your father is Shaun Temple. You couldn't exist without him contributing his DNA to father you. You just... have some extra makeup from me."
"So can you reproduce with humans?" Rose asks.
"No," the Doctor says. "I'm physically analogous to human males, but genetically I'm completely incompatible. Even if an egg was fertilized, it wouldn't implant or begin to develop because it lacks the necessary chromosomes."
Rose looks over her shoulder at her mother and then back to the Doctor. "So you two don't have any risk," she says, and the Doctor blushes for real this time. "Well, Mum's also fifty, so she's not getting pregnant."
"Er," the Doctor says again. "Not sure what to say to that."
"Don't," Rose says, starting to giggle like the teenage girl she is. "Don't. Gross. Ew. Disgusting."
The Doctor laughs. "Don't worry about it," he says. "It's not important anyway." He leans back comfortably in his chair. "Your mum said I should ask you about picking an Earth name."
Rose smiles at him. "Well, I picked my own name, so I'm good at that."
"That's what your mother said," the Doctor says.
"Told you, she's the best," Rose says. "What kind of name do you want?"
He shrugs. "I don't care." The fact of the matter is that Donna knows the name he grew up with, his real name, from having shared his mind. She knows that name and she never uses it because she also knows he won't say it. "Sometimes I've called myself John Smith."
Rose scrunches her nose. "Boring. John's not bad, I guess, but not Smith."
"What about Noble?" the Doctor asks. "John Noble?"
"Not bad," Rose says. "Want a middle name?"
"A what?"
"A middle name," Rose says. "My middle name is Margaret."
"Rose Margaret Noble," the Doctor muses. "Pretty. Why not Temple?"
Rose shrugs. "Just seemed... wrong. Mum was okay with it, she told Dad that it didn't really matter as long as I was happy and he'd still be my father no matter what sounds I strung together to identify myself."
That's my girl! he thinks again, so proudly. "What did he say?"
"I think he was a little hurt," Rose says. "But I've always been really clear with him about how I feel about him and that no matter what he'd always be my father and I would always love him."
"Maybe," the Doctor says. "Something with a D. Something for her."
"There's no male equivalent of Donna," Rose says. "Maybe Donald?"
"No," the Doctor grimaces. "Awful name. What about David?"
"John David Noble," Rose says. "Doctor John David Noble. Ooh, Doctor J.D. Noble. Sounds like a physicist or a famous surgeon."
So when Donna leans out the garden doors to tell them supper is ready, Rose gets up and pulls her mom outside. "I think we have an Earth name," she says.
"Oh?" Donna says. "It's about time. Let's hear it." Rose watches her smile soften as she looks at the Doctor, who gets to his feet and clears his throat.
"John David Noble," he says, making her a little bow. "Nice to meet you." He takes her hand and kisses it.
"Doctor John David Noble," Rose chimes in. "Or J.D. Noble, if you want to be mysterious about it."
"I wanted to be sure there was a D. Noble in my name," the Doctor says. He still hasn't let go of Donna.
"Well," Rose says. "I'm going to wash my hands." She sees the look that passes between her mother and the Doctor. She looks over her shoulder as she goes to the kitchen and sees the Doctor wrap her mother up in an embrace. Anyone who cares to look at them can see the devotion between them.
Around the dinner table they laugh and talk as always, and Rose has a glass of wine with them. "I'm supposed to get an assignment at work on Monday," Donna says. "My first."
"Ah," the Doctor says delightedly. "Any ideas?"
"Well, Kate has me under the impression there is a kind of social work department for UNIT?" Donna says. "She referred to it as Intergalactic Humanitarian Relations."
"That sounds good for you," Rose says. "I think you'd be amazing at that, mum. It sounds like you'd be helping people."
"Yeah," Donna says. She looks to the Doctor. "What's it mean?"
"IHR is one of the most important departments in UNIT," the Doctor says. "You'll be the first contact for a lot of people coming to Earth. Most of them will be refugees or victims of crimes. Some of them will be witness protection cases. Some of them will be accidents. It all depends." He takes a sip of wine. "Oftentimes the first contact those people have with Earth can determine their entire future."
"I assume this means I'll need more familiarity with the Intergalactic Code as it pertains to those issues," Donna says. "Have to study up."
"That and the policies on assimilation, protection, identity classification," the Doctor says. "Lots to learn."
"Sounds like school, but infinitely more interesting," Rose says.
"Yeah, better than algebra," Donna says.
"Having bamboo shoved under my fingernails would be better than algebra," Rose says, and everyone laughs.
"You need a maths tutor?" the Doctor asks.
"I don't know why," Rose grumbles. "If my DNA is part-genius, maths should be easier."
Rose goes to bed around eleven PM, and Donna follows the Doctor to the TARDIS parked in the back, where they go to the library and pull out the Intergalactic Code, the Interplanetary Refugee Charter, the Shadow Proclamation's Manual on Interstellar Diplomacy, and several textbooks on the theory of interspecies assimilation and cultural diffusion. There are language manuals and translations for countless cultures contained in Interstellar Diplomacy. It's a massive amount of information. UNIT has designated the Doctor as Donna's training supervisor, so she will take her training aboard the TARDIS and attend in-person seminars as instructed. All told, the department trains for three months after the initial six-month probationary period. This means Donna has reached the end of her probationary hire and is officially appointed to IHR for her 90 days of training.
"We have some options," the Doctor says, spreading the books out in front of them on the big table in the TARDIS library. "We can read, of course."
"Right," Donna says. "And what else?"
"We could... use the psychic connection," the Doctor suggests, raising his eyebrows. "We'd have to go slow to avoid a headache, but you can technically just... learn what I know."
Donna's eyebrows also raise. "And it saves us all the reading?"
"Technically, yes."
"Spaceman," Donna says. "How long have you known me now? Do you think that if I can save myself some trouble I won't go for that option immediately?"
The Doctor grins. "Come here, Donna Noble. Sit down."
"Doctor J.D. Noble," Donna teases him as she settles herself on the sofa. Her smile is full of affection and mirth. "Where'd you get your PhD?"
"Right," he says, tweaking her nose gently. "You'll get used to it soon." He sits down next to her on the sofa and turns her to face him. He touches his fingertips to her temples and Donna flinches away, fast as lightning.
"Ow," she says, and the smile falls off his face.
"Oh, sorry--" he says, and Donna grins.
"Just kidding," she says. "Just payback for that gloop." She settles herself again and gives him a cheeky look before closing her eyes again. His fingers descend on her temples again, and she reaches out to do the same for him. They entrain onto the connection immediately, like stepping from one room to another, and the Doctor can feel Donna's bright, electric, joyful presence in his mind. He feels wrapped in her consciousness like a warm embrace, as always.
Right, he says to her in their minds. I'm going to transmit the contents of the Intergalactic Code. I'll go slow.
Good luck, Donna says.
Tell me if it hurts, he says, and Donna's eyebrows raise but she doesn't open her eyes.
Hurts?
You could get a headache if we go too fast, he responds. Get ready.
He keeps his word about going slowly, so much so that at one point Donna interjects and says, You can't speed it up a little?
Instead of an answer or any acceleration in transmission, the Doctor adds on a second layer of image and sensation, so that Donna gets a full picture of them having sex on the library floor, their clothes scattered around them. That's what I really want, he says. I'll be done soon.
Ooh, that's a nice multitask, Donna says. That'll make this much more fun.
So instead of making his transmission faster, the Doctor simply retains the second layer of sex and sensation to it. By the time he's finished with the code and is sure that Donna has absorbed it, both of them are a little out of breath when they open their eyes. "Right," he says, smiling at her with intent. "Now for your quiz."
He asks her as many questions as he can think of regarding interplanetary refugee policy and cultural crossovers. He quizzes her on the duties of the officers of IHR and where they are limited in their jurisdiction and why. When they get done, Donna settles herself on the sofa comfortably and says, "You do realize, of course, that this makes you my first and most important case?" Her smile is languid and content.
"Oi," the Doctor says indignantly. "I'm not a case, I'm your favorite person to ever exist!" Off her teasing smile he adds, "I don't think caseworkers are supposed to have my cock between their tits on a Wednesday night."
Donna laughs uproariously. "Fair play, Spaceman," she says. "But no, seriously, you're my case number one. My most important, my most personal. My most precious."
"Ah," the Doctor says, waving a hand. "But your file on me is top secret anyway, so it doesn't count."
"Shall we do another?" Donna asks, picking up Interstellar Diplomacy.
"If you like," the Doctor says.
"Yeah, and this time can you also do the sex thing again?" Donna asks. "It's much more fun that way."
It takes about three and a half minutes to transmit the entirety of Interstellar Diplomacy and its appendices, and when he's finished the Doctor leans forward and gives her an openmouthed kiss. "Done," he says. "That's enough for one sitting, you'll get a migraine."
"Well, that saves us a ton of time," Donna says, rolling her shoulders. "And it's fun. I love your active imagination, Spaceman."
"And I love this little telepathy game," he says. "Pretty great."
"Mm-hm," Donna agrees.
"I think it is very fucking hot that you can do that, Donna Noble," he tells her. "You know you're the only human alive who has this ability. Makes you special."
Donna shrugs. "All the better for me."
The Doctor leans back at his ease on the sofa and regards her contentedly. "You're gorgeous, you know."
"Shut up, Spaceman," Donna says. "You don't have to flatter me, I'm already fucking you."
"Oh, now, wait a minute," the Doctor says. "Hang on. Hear me out."
Donna smiles indulgently at him. "Go on, then."
"Do you know what it's like for me to have someone I can talk to?" he asks her. "And it's you, Donna. I missed so much time with you. And best of all you're still you but better." He gives her a once-over she can positively feel. "And you still have all that red hair." Another man would have made her blush but Donna just smiles, a million watts. "The point is," he says, "time is precious and joy is having the time to spend with those you love."
"God, if you are not the wettest, most sentimental--"
"Oh, fuck off," he says, laughing. "I love you, Donna."
She reaches over and picks up his hand and kisses it, lingering for a moment with her vivid blue eyes locked with his. "I love you, Spaceman," she says. "Don't leave me again, eh?"
"You don't leave me," he says. "C'mon, let's go to bed." They lock up the TARDIS and go back into the house together, hand in hand. He's made a nightly habit of going to bed with her, even if he doesn't stay or sleep. The routine is comforting for both of them. Tonight they decide to sleep in her room.
The Doctor changes his clothes and watches Donna shed her clothes and get into pajamas. She brushes her hair through and goes to wash her face and brush her teeth in the ensuite. Just the sheer ordinariness of these actions is inexpressibly comforting to him. No more desolate silences or dark, solitary years. Just the chance to breathe and live in the present, surrounded by comfort. Donna comes back into the room massaging a bit of lotion into her hands and arms and elbows. She climbs under the duvet and holds out her arms. "Come."
He settles himself in her arms, resting his head on her chest. "I hope you stop thinking about how much time you lost," she murmurs to him, placing a kiss or two to the top of his head among the wild spikes of his hair. "It doesn't matter."
He listens to her single heartbeat, his most tangible reminder that she's human, and temporary, and he wants her to stay. He sighs. "I just don't want to lose any more time," he says. "It's been so much."
"And now we've had six months," Donna says. "And four of me living here permanently."
"Best time of my life," he says immediately, fervently.
"Well, it's not going to change," she says. "And I'm not going anywhere. So from here on out, Spaceman, it's you and me."
"And Rosie."
"And Rosie," Donna says, laughing a little. She thinks of her daughter asleep on the floor below them in her beautiful green and blue bedroom that the Doctor had let her decorate any way she pleased. For her upcoming birthday he'd been building her a workshop in the basement of the house, a bright and spacious area with new equipment: a sewing machine, an adjustable table, a comfortable rolling chair, and all kinds of notions and trims and fabrics. He's also building her a packing station, supplied with boxes, tape, tissue paper, a label maker, anything she could imagine. Everything is immaculately organized. Even Donna doesn't know about it yet.
"Donna?" he says into the comfortable silence.
"Yeah."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"D'you... maybe want to stay young?" the Doctor asks. "Like. Not age?"
"What d'you mean?" Donna asks, looking down at him. He tilts his head up to look at her.
"I mean... slow down the cell aging process so that you don't age like other humans and live an indeterminate amount of time with all your abilities and mental and physical health intact?" His eyes are very bare, and in earnest. "I've been wanting to ask you."
"Can you explain it?" Donna asks.
The Doctor makes as if to sit up, but she stops him, too comforted by his solid presence in her arms to let him go. So instead he burrows back into her side and says, "I can do that. And that way you and I can be together for a long, long time."
Donna sighs, and the Doctor feels her fingers carding through his hair gently, comfortingly. "Does that mean I live to a hundred and fifty?" she asks.
"Oh, more like five hundred," the Doctor says and Donna's fingers stop moving.
"What?"
"Yeah," he says. "More like five hundred. Or more. Don't really know."
"What?" Donna asks again.
"You don't have to, you can forget I asked, but I just thought--"
"No, wait," Donna says. "Wait." She sits up and so does the Doctor. "Wait. So you're offering me five times the human lifespan?"
"Or more," he confirms.
"Where was this the first time around?" Donna asks.
"I was much too stupid and young and inexperienced to know what I needed then," the Doctor says. "But you're back. And I just thought I'd ask. You don't have to."
"So what does that mean?" Donna asks.
"It means you will outlive everyone. Rose, Shaun, your mum, everyone you know," the Doctor says. "It's not for the faint of heart. But then again if I thought you were fainthearted, I wouldn't have offered. My Donna can handle the prospect."
Donna nods slowly. "All right, Spaceman. Let me think about what that means."
"Are you all right with watching Rose grow old?"
"Doesn't every parent want their child to live a long, happy life?"
"Yes, but you'll be young still."
"And you won't do it for her too?" Donna asks.
"No," the Doctor says, simply and matter-of-factly. There's nothing else to say. Donna nods again.
"Right," she says. The implications of his refusal are enormous, but then the implications of their entire existence and relationship are enormous. "So only me."
"You're part of me," he says, another factual, simple statement. "And I'm part of you. That's how we ended up here. And that's all I care about ultimately."
Donna is quiet for a few moments. "You know," she says. "This is like a marriage proposal but much more serious."
"I have no plans to ask you to marry me," the Doctor says. "You know how I am about Earth rituals. Rituals in general."
"Yes," Donna says. "But you're asking me to commit to an unknown lifespan with you, because if we were ever not together, I would just be some medical miracle lady who no one knew when I was gonna die. I don't want that. And I don't want to live indefinitely without you. So you'd have to be able to assure me we'd be together, because I can't live centuries without you. There's no point. I'd be lost."
"Right," the Doctor says.
"So I get to keep you?" Donna asks, her palms turned upwards in a gesture of inquiry.
"You will never lose me," he says, and the truth of the statement rings in its simplicity.
"Well," she says. "Then what else is there?"
He practically knocks her over with the force of his embrace. "Fuck's sake," Donna says softly to him. "You're mine, Spaceman. You can have a happy ending."
There is a short silence and then he bursts into heartrending sobs, more forceful than she has ever seen from him. She knows he works hard to keep himself in check, and the most she'd ever witnessed was a few tears, but this is real. She clutches him close, curling her fingers into his back until her knuckles are white. "I'm here," she murmurs. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm here."
He makes very little noise, but she can feel how the sobs wrack his body, the way his chest and stomach heave and wrench with the pain. She rocks him just a little, resting her cheek on top of his head. She wants to end the pain for him but she also knows he needs the catharsis. So she rides it out with him, never once letting go of him, only shifting to murmur softly to him or kiss his head or redouble her embrace. When he starts to calm down, she presses her fingers to his temple so she can send him comforting sensations and images. He refuses to reciprocate the connection to spare her the onslaught of emotions. "You're the only one," he says to her, his voice hoarse. "You're the only one that can do this for me."
"Do what for you?" Donna asks gently.
"Make me feel better," he says simply. "I don't know what I would do without you anymore." He sits up and takes both her hands in his. "If I'm going to live it has to be with you. I need you. I couldn't tell you that the first time because I had nothing to lose. Now I have everything and I need you. That's why I asked you."
"So what was that?" Donna asks. "Me saying yes made you cry."
"Relief," he says to her earnestly. "It's relief. I was terrified I'd have to watch you grow old and die married to another man, and when he left you I didn't dare hope, but now--" He sighs a great sigh and rubs his face. "I don't have to worry anymore. We can just be."
"I did wonder about that," Donna says. Then she gives him a little smile. "Too bad you couldn't have stopped me fifteen years ago, eh?"
"Oh, you look exactly the same," he says.
"You fucking liar," Donna says solemnly, and he laughs a little through his tears. "It's more about my knees and my back than my hair," she adds.
"Ah, I'll take care of that," the Doctor says, waving a hand. He reaches out to cup her cheek. "Take all the time you need," he says. "It's not a snap decision." He can feel how Donna turns her face into his palm, seeking comfort he knows she's been without. He leans forward to kiss her gently on the lips. "Take all the time you need," he says again. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Can't take too long or I'll get even older," Donna says.
"You don't mind stopping at fifty," the Doctor says.
"No, I like myself," Donna says, and she can say that honestly now. "I know who I am, I love being a mother, and I love my work." She settles herself back among her pillows and holds out her arms. "Come back."
So he wraps himself around her again and breathes another great sigh of relief. "Tale your time," he tells her. "It's on offer. I just don't want to live without you."
In the morning they drop Rose off at school together. Just before they open the doors to the UNIT London office, the Doctor takes Donna's hand. "See you later?" he asks.
"Obviously," Donna quips, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You'll have to explain this whole slowdown process to me when I get back."
"Don't worry," he says. "You'll get the full information."
"Oh, I know that," Donna says, and kisses his smiling mouth. "See you later."
He's had to learn to distract himself in different ways while Donna is working, so the Doctor has joined a local engineering club in a town about an hour north of Montresor. After attending a few meetings and deciding they're a good group of people, the Doctor had discovered at the last meeting that one of them was his neighbor. His name is Laurence Miller, and the Doctor had also met his wife Simone at the last meeting when she came to pick him up. They are both about sixty, married for forty years, have three kids who are all grown up and left the nest, and a retired life in the countryside after living in Paris and Nice for most of their earlier lives.
For an experiment in his ongoing trial of living like an ordinary human, the Doctor plans to invite Laurence and Simone for dinner that Friday evening. When he runs the idea by Donna at the end of her workday, her eyes actually fill up.
"Oh, Spaceman, you made a friend," she says proudly.
"Oh, fuck's sake," the Doctor says, grinning. "I have lots of friends."
"No, but," Donna says. "You made a friend that you can be a friend with for a long time. Someone who can stay around. Who is he?"
"His name is Laurence Miller, and he has a wife called Simone, and he's part of my engineering club," the Doctor says.
"What does he call you?"
"John, mostly," the Doctor says. "Jean-Davide doesn't really trip off the tongue, and the French rarely abbreviate. And 'le Docteur' is a bit off-putting."
Donna laughs as she circles the console, the flight sequence automatic under her fingers. "What do you think we should make?"
"They said they'd be interested in anything we have to offer," the Doctor says. "So I'd say priority number one is good wine."
"Ah, but of course," Donna says, in an exaggerated French accent. "Life is pain, zat is why we have wine."
"Exactly," he says. "I'll make lamb shanks and potatoes and you can handle dessert." He adjusts several dials. "Can you make more of that fresh whipped cream with the vanilla?"
"'Course," Donna says.
"Make extra," the Doctor says, giving her a smile full of intent.
"Right," Donna says, catching his drift. She throws the thrust lever and they take off with a smooth boost.
"You're so good at that," he says. "Great takeoff. If you can land her just as nice as me I'll let you fly her solo."
"Let me?" Donna raises an eyebrow. "Mate, I don't want to fly this ship without you unless it's an emergency."
"Fair enough," he says, and Donna turns her attention back to the console to prepare for landing. She manages it with a slight thud, and gives the Doctor a smile and shrug.
"That was easy," she says.
"Smug," the Doctor says.
"Fucking right," Donna says, and walks to the doors of the TARDIS. "I am going to change my clothes and collapse in front of the telly, what d'you say?"
"Telly's a bit boring for me," he says. "I'll sit with you but I'll probably do something else."
"Fair enough," Donna agrees.
They end up with Donna draped over him on the sofa, both of them covered with the same blanket, limbs tangled. He has a book and she is watching a nature documentary narrated by David Attenborough. Donna listens to his heartbeats thrumming in concert, steady and calm. He feels solid, and less thin than he had been before. Well, she'd been sure to feed him rich meals and good wine, and ate all his experiments in the kitchen with him. She'd made him a regular at the patisserie and the boulangerie for bread and sweets. Between the sound of David Attenborough's voice and the steady drum of his heartbeats, Donna is lulled to sleep.
The Doctor notes the slower rhythm of her breath and moves his book aside to look down at the redheaded woman in his arms. Now moments like this don't have to be secret, confined to the TARDIS, snatched in moments of brief reprieve where the knowledge thereof could destroy their privacy. Now he can just be with her. So he tilts his head down to press a kiss to her head and goes back to his book. If he can have this, keep this... it will be all he needs.
When Friday rolls around the Doctor spends most of it cooking and shopping while Donna is at work. It's Shaun's week to have Rose in London so they are free for the weekend.
Donna, meanwhile, has been given her first cases as part of the IHR department. That day she witnesses shivering refugees from a war on a planet located in a star system adjacent to the Milky Way Galaxy. There are about 45 of them, mostly children, blank-eyed and numb. With Donna are a second agent from her department, and a team of nurses, doctors, and therapists. The refugees are people from the planet Harbara, which has been historically a target of invasion due to its location in its star system. Another invasion has taken place, this time by a more advanced civilization, and they are the last of their city. Donna is responsible for processing their intake, and helping to direct them to housing and medical care. She knows everything she needs to thanks to her training and the Doctor's work with her, but the impact of seeing these people leaves her shaken. They are confused and terrified, hungry, some injured, others seeming to have lost their grip on reality. One little girl won't talk to her at all, but only cries, clinging to Donna like a mother. That little girl has a bloody wound on her arm that stains Donna's shirt purple, but she won't speak. The nurses take her from Donna, whose eyes are streaming tears, and another IHR agent called Danielle Charles, a veteran of the department, reminds her to get herself together.
"You can cry later," Danielle whispers to her. "They need you now. Be strong." Her own voice is a little unsteady, and Donna breathes in and out a few times.
"Yeah," she says. "Let's help."
The intake lasts the rest of her workday, and when Donna finally gets back to her office, she is exhausted and worn out. She takes her things and goes to the garage to wait for the Doctor to arrive, which he always does, right on time. Almost as soon as the TARDIS wheezes into view Donna breaks down. She gets her key out and goes into the ship, shutting the door behind her and leaning on it.
His face, in his usual big bright smile to see her again, falls right away. "Oh," he says. "What happened, Donna?" He sees the bloodstains on her shirt and neck. "Oh, no. Come here." He wraps her up tight. "What happened?"
For a moment she considers telling him about the invasion. But she knows in her bones that her Spaceman will want to help, will want to go to Harbara and fix it, and that can't happen. So instead she turns her face into his chest and lets the tears fall, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. He doesn't ask any more questions until she lets go of him. "Just work," she says. "Saw a lot of hard things today."
"Like what?"
Donna shakes her head. "Don't want to talk about it."
"Donna--"
"No," she says, cutting him off. "I don't want to tell you. You'll want to go running off to fix it and I can't have that, I need you--"
"Okay," he says gently. "Okay. Let's go home, then." He starts to circle the console. "You don't have to help me fly."
Silently Donna ignores him and starts to assist in the flight sequence. She throws the lever before he can and stands wordlessly, watching the central column of the TARDIS glow blue-white, its components working away. "D'you want to cancel dinner tonight?" the Doctor asks.
"No," Donna says. "It'll distract me. When are they coming?"
"About eight thirty, I think," he says. He kisses her temple and slips an arm around her as they wait for the TARDIS to land.
"Okay," she says. "It's fine, I'll be fine as long as I have you."
When they land in the garden in France, Donna goes straight to the bathroom to wash off. "There's no weird alien disease I can catch from this blood, is there?" she asks as she scrubs herself at the sink.
The Doctor, perched on the bathroom countertop, shakes his head. "It's just blood, like yours and mine."
"It's purple," Donna says.
"Yes, less oxygenated."
"Is our air safe for them to breathe?"
"Sure," the Doctor says. "Whoever it was might be a little lightheaded at first, but they'll adjust."
"What color is your blood?" Donna asks.
"Red, like yours," the Doctor says. "Maybe redder, with the two hearts and all. More oxygen being processed."
Donna flings her stained shirt aside and strips off the rest of her clothes. "Might as well change for dinner," she says. "I'm thinking I'll make a strawberry cake for dessert."
"Ah, what a good vehicle for that whipped cream I like so much," the Doctor says, attempting to lighten the mood. Donna smiles a little bit. "There's my girl," he adds.
Her bundle of clothes in one arm and her other hand holding his, Donna pulls him into the bedroom with her and seats him on her bed. She goes to her closet and pulls out two dresses. "Purple or blue?" she asks.
"Neither," he says, and Donna turns to put the dresses back. "Something else?"
"Nope," he says, looking her over. She smiles at him.
"Spaceman," she says. "You're no help."
"Thank you," he says. He gets up and slides his hands around her hips. "I like the purple," he says, giving her the lightest kiss. "You can wear that one without a bra."
"Spaceman," Donna repeats, scandalized and delighted as he goes out of the room.
"What?" he asks innocently over his shoulder. "No pants either, all the better," he calls as he starts down the stairs.
She hears him thump merrily down the stairs and smiles to herself. She decides to wear pants after all but no bra, just for him. She can always put a sweater on.
Down in the kitchen the Doctor starts to prepare his lamb shanks and potatoes, and Donna joins him, retrieving her apron from the pantry. "Ah, perfect," he says, turning from the pile of potatoes on the counter. "Just the way I like it." He reaches out and nudges the neckline of the dress aside so that one pink nipple is exposed. "Leave it like that."
"Spaceman," Donna says a third time. "There is fire in this room. Do not subject my breasts to fire. I thought that went without saying. It's a ground rule."
He laughs and leans down to kiss her nipple, pulling the fabric back into place. "Fair enough," he says. "Take what I can get." He slants her a cheeky look. "I'm determined to distract you tonight."
"It will be appreciated," Donna says. "Meanwhile, who are these people you've invited to our home?"
"Laurence is about sixty, I'd say?" the Doctor says. "So's his wife."
"Yeah, and they call you John," Donna says. "I'm gonna have to practice."
"Oh, speaking of that," the Doctor says, and Donna turns from the fridge where she is getting out the ingredients for a cake. "I know how you can practice." He dances her back against the kitchen island and hooks his fingers in her neckline again, dropping his mouth to her neck and collarbone. His hands pull her skirt up her thighs and his fingers skim between her legs. "Oh, you did wear pants," he says, lifting his mouth from her neck.
"I did-- oh, yes," she says when he runs his tongue along her throat. He's an expert at this now in a new way, a better way than before. He always did what she liked but now he can get her off fast and efficiently and deliciously. He sucks a nipple up into his mouth, laving it thoroughly. She doesn't say many more words until he feels her wind up and her mouth opens.
"Say my fucking name," he says to her, and Donna's eyes squeeze shut in utter pleasure.
"Oh, John," she moans. "Oh, fuck, yes."
"Amazing," he tells her, continuing the motion of his hand. "Sounds fucking great."
Donna gives him a lustful little smile. "You like it?"
"I love it," he says. "it was a good choice of a name." He pulls his hand out from under her dress and Donna covers herself back up. "There. Now you've practiced."
Donna goes back to the refrigerator. "I'll work on it," she says. "We'll need to do a bit more practice as we go." She sets out her ingredients: milk, eggs, butter, sugar, flour. She has an expensive stand mixer on the kitchen island and she whips up a simple sponge in no time. While her cakes are baking and the lamb shanks sautéing in the pan, Donna changes out her bowl and adds fresh vanilla and a bit of vanilla extract to a saucepan of cream on low heat to let the bean infuse the cream. When she's happy with it, she puts the cream in the mixer with sugar and whips it until there are stiff peaks.
The Doctor moves around her efficiently and within two hours there is a meal and a strawberry shortcake thickly frosted with whipped cream. Donna retrieves two bottles from their wine storage cabinet and the Doctor sets out four wine glasses. Then he faces Donna and holds out a hand. "John Noble," he says.
Donna looks down at his hand.
"Practice," he says.
"Donna Noble," she says, without shaking his hand.
"Rude," he says, shaking his head at her. "Can't even shake a bloke's hand after he's had it in your knickers."
Their doorbell chimes, and they both look to the front door.
"Perfect timing," Donna says, grinning. She goes for the door and on the threshold is an attractive older couple, smiling and holding a shopping bag. "Hello!" she says.
"Hello, darling," says Simone, the wife, and she and Laurence give Donna the customary two kisses on each cheek.
"Come in, come in," Donna says. "John's in the kitchen." She commends herself for how naturally she said his name. She makes Simone and Laurence comfortable in their living room, and they hand her the bag which turns out to be filled with cheese and bread, which she puts out for an appetizer. She pours everyone a glass of wine and seats herself comfortably with the couple.
The Doctor comes in to join them a minute later, taking a glass of wine from Donna and smiling contentedly. He seats himself next to her on the arm of her chair, one arm around her. "Welcome to the house!" he says to Laurence and Simone. "We've done lamb shanks, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and strawberry shortcake."
"Ah," Laurence says, raising a glass. "Sounds perfect."
"Tell us about yourselves," Donna says. "We're so glad you're here."
"Well," Laurence says. "As you know I met your husband at our engineering club. He's extremely smart."
"Thank you," Donna says proudly, not bothering to correct the mistake as she would have previously. Even back then she'd been starting to give up, since everyone seemed to take for granted that she and the Doctor were married, even without rings. It doesn't matter anymore.
"He told me the two of you just moved here a few months ago," Laurence continues. "How are you liking our little French outback?"
Donna smiles. "I love it here. Private, quiet, everything we could ask for."
Simone nods. "That's what drew us here too when we retired. After our youngest son left home, we decided no more Paris."
"How many children do you have?" Donna asks.
"Three, two sons and a daughter," Simone says. "The youngest is twenty-six now, so we've done our jobs. Do you two have children?"
"I have a daughter from my first relationship," Donna says. "With my ex-husband. She's fifteen. And we don't plan on having any children." She looks to the Doctor. "John, what d'you say we light the fire pit and have all this wine and cheese outside?"
"I'll help you with that," Simone says, and she and Donna start to gather the wine and food. The Doctor opens the garden doors and goes to check on his lamb shanks. Laurence follows him to the kitchen.
Out in the garden, where the late October air is mellow and cool, Donna arranges the food and wine and takes the top off the fire pit. Simone stops her, taking her right hand. "What a magnificent ring," she says, looking at the sapphire. "And flowers, how lovely."
Donna smiles. "Yeah, he gave it to me about a month ago," she says.
"Ah, so you are married to a romantic," Simone says. "Lucky you."
"Isn't Laurence a romantic?" Donna asks. "John tells me you've been married forty years."
"Oh, yes," Simone says. "I never would have married him if he didn't have poetry in his soul."
"Well said," Donna smiles, arranging the wooden logs in the fire pit. It's a big round structure made of stacked stones and mortar, polished and rustic looking. She pulls out a long match and strikes it, setting a pile of tinder under the logs aflame. "There we go. Give her a few minutes and she'll be big and bright." One of her sweaters is already draped over the garden chair from earlier that day, so Donna puts it on over her dress. She makes herself comfortable with Simone and smiles. "Welcome."
"Merci, darling," Simone says. "You look very happy."
Donna takes a sip of wine through a smile. "I have, in fact, never been so happy in my life."
"Well, what woman doesn't want the privilege of saying that sentence?" Simone toasts Donna, who clinks glasses with her. "To loving the love of your life."
"Hear, hear," Donna says, looking back over her shoulder at the men in the kitchen. This little masquerade as an ordinary happy family is so achingly needed by Donna, who has waited so very long to feel this feeling. They are talking animatedly about something scientific, no doubt, and Donna smiles softly. He needs friends so badly, friends with no obligations or strings or betrayals. In all honesty, so does she.
"How long have you been married now?" Simone asks.
"Oh..." Donna says. "It's a very long story."
"Oh?" Simone says. "Do you care to share it?"
Donna takes a great deep breath. "I met him fifteen years ago, before my daughter was born, and he... we... fell in love. Tried to deny it. And then we were separated by force and we lived our lives apart, and he found me seven months ago."
"Oh, my god," Simone says, putting her glass down. "He came back."
"He came back," Donna says, and the enormity of it chokes her for a moment because she's seeing it from someone else's perspective since it all happened, and recanting it makes her realize she hasn't been living in a dream for nearly a year. She clears her throat. "Sorry," she says.
"That's quite a story," Simone says. "No wonder the two of you are so closed off here. Your home is like an enclave. A lovely hideaway."
"Yes," Donna says. That is entirely deliberate, even beyond the rules of UNIT for their safety. "I don't think we've really recovered from being apart for so long. We just don't want to be disturbed."
"How incredible," Simone says. "How did he find you?"
"I think he was looking," Donna says, and while that's not strictly true, it's how it had evidently played out. "And I just knew I had to be with him. He's part of me. There's no line." Then she seems to realize she's been pouring her heart out to this lady who barely knows her. "Excuse me," she says, a bit sheepishly. "I know I'm gushing--"
"Oh, no," Simone says. "Do you think I don't know what a woman in love looks like? It's lovely. I wish you happiness and peace, you've clearly earned it."
If you only knew, Donna thinks. Sometimes she sits in her garden and just looks at things. She knows that she is even still alive because of her own heroic actions, though she never seems able to really absorb that fact. It's part of why she's still so surprised to be so thoroughly loved by this brilliant man. She has never truly absorbed that she has saved the actual entire universe before in her life. Even without that he would love her, but that's an idea Donna can't yet accept. Maybe now knowing that she had saved everyone everywhere at one point in her life, even if it cost her half of herself, gives her a reason to think maybe she's earned his love and this life.
"Well surely you can see him with Laurence," Simone says. "He's alive with joy." The men are laughing in the kitchen while the Doctor plates the food for everyone.
"Yeah," Donna says. "Isn't he just." She's so glad. She looks back at Simone. "Me too."
"Mesdames," Laurence pokes his head out the garden doors. "Shall we eat around the fire?"
"We can do that," Donna calls back. "Do you need help?"
Laurence shakes his head. "No," he says. "You stay there. Entertain my wife. She gets up to no good when she's bored." He goes back inside the kitchen. "Your wife is quite a lady!" he says to the Doctor, who smiles proudly and doesn't bother correcting him.
"Isn't she just," he agrees.
"How long have you been married now?" Laurence asks.
"Tell you the truth, mate," the Doctor says. "We only found each other again seven months ago."
"Again?" Laurence says. "You were separated?"
The smile on the Doctor's face fades. "Yeah," he says. "And I didn't... I don't think either of us ever thought we would see each other again, but I had to look for her. I had to know she was all right."
"That's quite a love story," Laurence says. "If you don't mind me asking you, what separated you?"
"War," the Doctor says, which is as close to the truth as he can get.
Laurence's smile fades. "Oh," he says. "Forgive me, you don't have to say anything else."
The Doctor shakes his head. "Sorry for bringing the tone of the evening down. Why don't we get out there?"
Laurence puts a hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "You don't have to worry about that. Simone and I have always been grateful for our boring lives." He and the Doctor go out with two plates each, and join Donna and Simone around the fire.
And for the next few hours they laugh and talk with Simone and Laurence like any ordinary people, until around one in the morning. They've shifted position so that the Doctor is sitting behind Donna with his arms around her. "We'd best get on the road," Simone says, yawning. "What excellent wine."
"Thank you," Donna says, a bit tipsy herself. Laurence, ever the responsible driver, has nursed a glass for the last hour or so.
"You light an excellent fire," Simone says, getting to her feet. "An evening to be applauded."
Donna makes a little bow, and she and the Doctor see Simone and Laurence to the door. Once they're in the car and driven away, Donna turns to the Doctor. "So, John," she says playfully. "Did you like our little performance tonight? Our Regular People Show?"
"You did very well," he says, and Donna makes another little bow.
"And so did you, Spaceman," she says. "If I didn't know better I'd say you had a good time."
"Ah, but luckily you know better," he jokes, and Donna nods.
"I do," she says. "No, but really. Did you? We can do it again." She watches him go back to the garden to gather the dishes instead of answering her. "We can, if you want," she says again.
The Doctor puts the dishes into the sink. He turns to her. "You had to know that tonight was a dream come true for me," he says. "I can't remember the last time I felt so at peace." He goes back out to get the wine glasses to avoid the moment, and Donna takes them out of his hands when he gets back inside the kitchen.
"Spaceman," she says, and the word is filled with so much love. It makes him stop and listen. She's really the only person he'll listen to anyway. And it helps that she looks so pretty just then, in one of his favorite dresses with a cozy sweater over it, her hair shining in the warm kitchen light. She smells like perfume and wine and that essence that is entirely hers, one that humans can't detect but that he can, and that comforts him.
"We'll do it again eventually," he says, ambivalent about it all.
"Don't you like them?"
"Yes," the Doctor says. "Of course. Laurence is a good bloke. I just... maybe we don't really want a bunch of people around us?"
Donna smiles. "Security concerns or you just don't want to share me?"
"Call it both," he says. "In equal measure." He tilts his head towards the sink. "I'll do the dishes if you put out the fire."
"Deal," Donna says, and he watches her walk back out into their thriving garden. He watches her douse the flames and turn off the firepit, putting the round metal shell back over the top. When she walks back inside, closing the garden doors behind her, he comes to pull her back in by the waist.
"Do you really mind that it's going to be a show from here on out?" he asks her. "Everything we do as normal people is a show."
"Well, yeah," Donna says as if it's obvious. "'Course it is! No giving away the game."
"Might wear on you."
"Oh, please," Donna rolls her eyes. "It's literally the best secret in the entire universe. Why would I mind keeping it?" She tilts her chin up to look at him properly. "I live with a time traveling alien who's a billion years old and mysteriously never dies, and who is going to confer upon me the closest to functional immortality that exists with the added bonus of super-slow aging so I get to keep my fabulous hair. You think I can't put on a couple of dinner parties a few times a year for that? A Christmas here or there? For the entire universe at my feet for as long as I can imagine?"
He pulls her in to kiss her and Donna says, "Speaking of which, Spaceman, when does my youthful journey begin?" instead of kissing him back. She feels the Doctor huff a laugh against her lips and closes the gap between them, kissing him deeply.
"Let's say tomorrow," he says. "I have more important things to do now."
"Like dishes?" Donna asks.
"Fuck no," he says, pulling her by the hand up the stairs.
He does do the dishes of course, after, when Donna is lying contentedly on her bed. She just smiles at him languidly when he gets up and puts his shorts back on. "I'll be back," he says.
Before long Donna can hear the hum of the dishwasher. She pulls a blanket over herself and thinks about what she's been offered. The chance to outlive everyone. The chance to see her daughter through an entire life, and to stay the same as she is now. The chance to be loved, as long as she lives, no matter where in the universe she goes. The chance to love, to be free to love the man she thinks she was always destined to know. The chance to exist, to no longer be invisible, lonely, defective, unimportant Donna. How could anyone turn that down?
And she'll be useful to UNIT and IHR for as long as she's able. Think of how many people she could help. How many wounds she could heal, how many psyches she could repair. How much progress she could see and help to come to pass. She can do good for as long as she can.
And for love, she can give up the normal life. It was never much for her anyway. So when he comes back into the room she is solemn. "So tomorrow I get to live forever," she says, resting her chin on her hand on his chest.
"Not forever," he says. "But yeah."
"Will it hurt?"
"I don't know," the Doctor says. "It's a process invented by Gallifreyans alongside the regeneration technology. Regeneration doesn't hurt, but you never know." He squeezes her a little. "I won't let you suffer."
"And it'll work?"
"It's been used before for scientific and legal purposes," the Doctor says. "So yes, it works. But you'd be the first and only human to ever have undergone the process."
Donna rolls her eyes. "How many more times is that going to happen to me?" she asks, smiling. "The first and only human to undergo a metacrisis. The first and only human to engage psychically. The first and only human to get awards from aliens for heroism. You know. Old hat for me now, Spaceman." She gives him a playfully wicked look. "I'm special."
"Yes," he says. "Finally, you get it." It's nine million people... who cares about me? And out of nine million, out of eight billion, out of the infinity, she will always be the one. For her, he will live the normal life.
In the end it doesn't hurt. Donna goes into the TARDIS with him at sunrise, since neither of them managed to sleep but instead talked until the sky turned light again. She goes to the medbay with him, and clings to his hand until he helps her onto the bed. "Don't be scared," he tells her. "On the other side of this is our life."
"How long is it going to take?" Donna asks.
"Don't know," the Doctor says.
"You don't know much," Donna says softly, without rancor.
"It's never--"
"Been done on a human before, I know," Donna says, finishing his sentence. She squeezes his hand. "Here we go."
He pulls out the Chameleon Arch and connects to the mainframe of the TARDIS processor. He gives her a look full of affection and love as he places it on her head. She reaches up to adjust it and breathes deep. "I'm gonna turn it on in a moment," the Doctor says. "Stay with me."
She nods, and a moment later she feels her entire body go rigid, as if she has been bound in straps. There is a prickling sensation, a great shrieking ring in her ears that makes her wince, and then she is shivering uncontrollably. It seems to go on for ages, but eventually Donna feels her body slow and still. She is out of breath and a little shaky, but she opens her eyes to see the Doctor still standing there. He looks concerned and scared, until she says, "Blimey. What the fuck was that?"
He makes a noise between and laugh and a sob, pulls the Chameleon Arch off her, and helps her sit up. "You all right?"
"I feel fine," Donna says. "Maybe a bit dazed?" She gets to her feet and stands still for a moment, the Doctor's hands hovering on either side of her to catch her if she falls. She looks down at herself. "What now?"
"Er," the Doctor says. "I think we're done."
"Oh," Donna says. "Good. I could use a giant meal and to sleep for days."
"Those are good side effects," the Doctor says. "There we go. Let's go eat and you can get into bed."
Donna ends up sleeping nearly a full 24 hours afterwards. She wakes up feeling no different physically. When she comes down to the living room the Doctor is sitting there attempting to look as if he has not been anxiously checking on her for the last day and night to make sure she's still breathing. He'd been resisting the urge to wake her up for nearly that long. He smiles with relief when she joins him on the sofa. "Status report?" he asks her, only half-playfully.
"Er," Donna says, considering. "I just slept the entire day and night, right?"
"Yep. Hungry?"
"Maybe?" Donna asks. "So now what? Is something supposed to happen?"
"I'm pretty sure it's what doesn't happen that will tell us we were successful."
"What time is it?" Donna asks.
"About 3:30 in the morning," he says.
"I love these weird hours with you," Donna says. She moves to nestle up against him. "I feel exactly the same."
"Good," he says. "Time will tell, as usual." He hands her the TV remote. Their TV is wi-fi enabled, of course, and it's hooked up to the TARDIS computer via said wi-fi, so they can get any programming they want, past or present, Earth or not. Donna settles on reruns of Seinfeld, since she had discovered it during their long, happy, timeless nights together. She stretches out so that her head is resting on his chest. He puts his arm around her, under her arm so he can rest his hand on her breast. It's an easy, possessive move, and Donna smiles to herself, hoping he can't see it.
After a few minutes, Donna says, "I can't decide whether this show is funny or not."
"The audience thinks it is," the Doctor says. Donna huffs a little laugh.
"Is it a laugh track?"
"Maybe," the Doctor says. There is a comfortable little silence.
"Will we always live here?" Donna asks.
"If you like," the Doctor says. "We can go anywhere if you get bored of France. We just have to let UNIT know. We have time."
"Yeah," Donna says. She puts her hand over the Doctor's. The sapphire ring glints in the light from the TV.
They finally do have time.
#doctor x donna#fourteen x donna#donna noble#fourteenth doctor#tatennant#otp: never been so happy in my life#this took me forever!!!!
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here is a list of what was in this show, and in what ways they updated/changed the pieces of music they played, and what they never played before. with a dash of commentery:
i am the doctor is the first track, neat, they did the Proms version, which combines the Pandorica speach theme right at the end
all the strange strange creatures, which yeah another Proms staple, it had a few touches of fresh violins in the end we did not hear before
they did a suite for the entire classic who themes they did play that night, apperently the two people behaind the rediophonic workshop were there to play it as well! that's neat, the 60s cyberman theme, (i love it dearly, got obsessed with it pretey recently lol), they also did some stuff that i would not know to recognize if there is anything new about them: the sea devils theme, the city of death, and the 5 doctors! the same classic who themes they played i the proms 2013, either way they sound very nice, the orchestra really nicely blends in with the syntonizer and it feels like a loving hug.
oooh and they have a mini interview with mark and peter from the radiophonic workshop!
Abigail's Song (Silence Is All You Know) is very neat as well, no changes but its very nice. and they dedicated the piece to Michael Gambon, that's sweet
omg Steven Moffet hello, i did not remember seeing him on the cast list. they are using the season 4 intro as like an in between piece to welcome guests on stage by the way, his interview in nice but short, mostly talking in short about his time as a show runner and the diffrence between Matt and Peter.
sylvester mcCoy is here in the audiance apperently!
This is Galiffray is next, pretty standard but again beutifully played
the long song is next, no child singer, the same singer as Abagail's song as well, but gosh!! they included in it the part of the theme of this song that played when 11 regenerated?? and the new singing then payerd over it. it is the same theme part that played when the actual speech of the long song played, in front of the living planet, but without the speech itself it really takes you back to his regeneration in my option, they then layerd the singing part over it in a very nice harmony that made me tear up đ . once again just like they did in the proms 2013, but this version feels very updated
the companions suite, they went Rose - Amy, which sad no clara, bill or any other companion, but its nice to hear those themes again, also Martha's theme got a little bit more Wind Instruments and violins then usual! which extended it a little and that was very nice. it also felt like Donna's theme was a little bit quieter then usual, they also combined Amy's theme little starting notes to fuze organicly into the theme itself, the xylophone very imbeded into the theme instead of it standing out like in earlier performances. and gave it a little bit of extra notes right at the end.
Emily Cook interview! she apperently played in the orcestra in the show as well with the saxophone. and talking about the doctor who lockdown project! (i cannot believe i never knew about this thing's existance??? holy shit,)
Doomsday, had a fancy and really funky gaiter solo, much similer to when it was preformed at the proms in 2008, but this time its very distinctive, not playing along singing at all, just pure gaiter goodness, really enjoyable
Vale Decem was really funky! nothing new but as bombastic as ever, screaming its way to your ears
Am i a good man!! very nice to see a Peter theme finally making its way to the fold, though a lot of them were preformed at Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular 2015, it was a much smaller scale as to the proms and this show is definitly bigger, god i used to be so obsessed with this themeee its not even funny, the version is very similer to there and you can reallly feel the drums punping at the start and its really energetic
omg twice upon a time?? damm, actual music released from something past season 9??? insane about this actually, oh i have never heard this before, its so gentle and remenicit of am i a good man in such a beautiful way, giving them theme a call back with emotinal and more action based end, it also adds the known and notable singer and some stuff from rtd era doctor theme?? and some funky violins from i am the doctor?? all leading to a fine finish?? i am in shock and aw. its like a finishing theme from Marry Gold to his era of the show. damm (if you are worried about The Shepherd's Boy, that will come later!)
a chris chibnall and Segun Akinola interview! Chris talking about the scrutiny he got for his era, and excitment about the whole thing, and Segun Akinola talking about the stress of the job and the freedom he got. THEY ARE ALL SO EXCITED FOR THE FACT THAT HIS THEMES FOR DOCTOR WHO ARE FOR THE FIRST TIME BEING PREFORMED AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT AS WELL HOLY SHIT
FINALLY the woman who fell to earth suite! confirmed to have: the woman who fell to earth, spyfall, power of the doctor, and a few suprises?? đ god i am once again becoming emotinal, i love 13's theme so much. the spyfall theme is so recognizable for its bond influence and so fun!! 13 era loves will know a lot more then me on the rest of it but god its so fun. DEMONS OF THE PUNJAB!! TRADITINAL INDIAN MUSIC WITH A FANTASTIC SINGER, god i wish we could watch this visualy. 13s regeneration theme is so GOOD IM CRYING, what can i even say, they didn't have the libraty of changes as this was the first and might be the only preformance of these themes, as little changes as possible for what i've noticed, but still, what a rollercoster of emotions
The Life of Sunday (Ruby's Theme) ...oh? piano? a lone and qiuet piano? a quiet and sad sounding theme? oh it expands! omg the slowely building violins?? the violins are truly the stars of this evening, and then the hopeful theme ends and now the violins are not celebrating the piano, they are moving towards a sad but nice main part. oh we are jumping forwad a little! oh wow, this is truly like a valce. the piano is the star but to what end? its slightly hopeful but very mournful existance
a lot of the versions had a little bit of a rytham change in most of the peices, little bits where you would think "oh is it out of rythem?" but no, its just a slight change in tempo, i guess to make the versions played here to stand out a little.
Marry Gold interview! hello! omg its so weird to hear his voice again. talking about his new era and coming back to who.
Fifteen, WHAT THE HELL THIS IS STARTING LIKE A SUPERHERO THEME?? oooh we are leading to an action based middle, the bassons are controling the theme! the trumpets!! its bloody danceable!! i am stimming all over the room! its fucking danceable!! it feels very action based very much like i am the doctor, a lot of rising violins, usually singeling hope, this feels like... such a fresh and new doctor. but it doesn;t sound... excited, it feels like a man on the run, it has a very clear dessperation going in, and i am neglecting to find any quiet moment if and they exist at all. the rising of the hope comes very sparadicly, much like Ruby's . it feels like they are contredicting each other simply by nature, but both of them are constantly searching for hope and i guess happines? accept he feels like he is searching for... quiet, peace, DAMM i gotta relisten to this to get more understanding of it
russel t interview! ok talking about his his history with who and coming back, mostly about appreciating the music in the show overoll
The Shepherd's Boy!!! FIRST TIME PREFORMING. god i am emotional once again, you can clearly hear the diffrent instruments individually at the start, the violins are lovely the chelos and everything else is really beautifully building up itself, the drums. the choir! all rising! they added the chior to the part right before the end!! added chior overoll andmakin it much more stand out as opposed to the soundtrack version. the drums were eceptinal!! in all of peter's era music. god its great
Doctor Who Theme (2023 version), lets go! the pianos! the quiet violins!! people have pointed out its similer to the movie middle eight and that's very true, the piano is truly the star of this theme and it shows!(edited) i am buzzing this was as great and better then i expected
#doctor who#doctor who music#murray gold#Segun Akinola#10th doctor#9th doctor#11th doctor#12th doctor#13th doctor#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelth doctor#thirteenth doctor#classic who#idk if i can say its truly a 60th celebration of course#because this is truly a new who show#but alas#rose tyler#martha jones#donna noble#amy pond#russel t davies#steven moffat#chris chibnall#dw#GOD 13S THEME AND 12S SHEPER'S BOYYYY#i am STILL crying over this#momo analysis#doctor who @ 60: a musical celebration
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works in progress
thought i'd hold myself accountable by posting about my upcoming works! if you're ever interested in being part of the taglist, feel free to reply to this post or leave me an ask! please know that synopses are subject to change and that genre and tags will be updated as i write.
last updated: july 28, 2024
almost, but not quite â” leehan
if thereâs one thing leehan didnât understand, itâs the gross, sticky emotions he feels with you. yet, thereâs an undeniable warmth that lingersâand thatâs when he knows heâs screwed. (in other words, the five times leehan found himself at a crossroads and the one time he decided on what he wanted with you.)
genre/warnings ┠friends to lovers, fluff, loser!leehan, slight mutual pining... if you can even say that, emotions are gross and sticky aka leehan is always running AWAY from them⊠save this guy, reader is not that oblivious but leehan never reads their signals, alcohol, ponyo plays a big role in this fic (yes, the ghibli movie), getting froyo to avoid confessing LMFAO, kissing
word count â” est. 8-10k words
current status â” first draft (5.6k words), 3 more scenes remaining
at the center of the universe â” leehan
youâre nothing but a speck in the universe. while everyone would argue the same thing, you knew to your core that there would never be a universe where the cosmos would revolve around you. yet, a strange man in a blue police box convinces you otherwise.
general genre/warnings â” strangers to lovers, doctor who au, scifi, crack, fluff, angst, donna noble & tenth doctor dynamics, doctor who elements won't really be dived into
word count â” est. ??? (might be a whole universe until i decide its time to close their book)
current status â” universe has been roughly plotted out over discord dms... (p.s. love you @blumisiu <3)
every summertime â” myung jaehyun
with every summer break, your heart finds its way back to the goofball your brother is best friends with. yet, your crush on him never seems to fade away, and you donât know if the few seconds he lingers mean something.
genre/warnings â” brother's best friend, fluff, light angst, slightly suggestive, summer love throughout the course of four years (16-19)
word count â” est. 6-8k words
current status â” outlining... still
prayers for a garden â” taesan
regardless if the world crumbles in your hands, taesan chooses to stick with youâfor all he knows is you.
genre/warnings â” friends to lovers, royalty au, angst, devotion fic, inspired by edelgard and hubertâs relationship, mentions of violence & blood, uses fe3h names because i canât for the life of me think of some El oh elâŠ, very anti-monarch and pro-socialism reader if weâre going to be honest, but reader does have their downfall
word count â” est. 3-5k words
current status â” backburner... for now...
all works taglist â” @blumisiu @0310s @heebees
a/n â” always be patient as i try to write these fics! they do take a lot of care and effort, and can still be fleshed out! your words of support will always mean so much to me <3
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HATE THE TIME LORDS WTF
Iâm watching the end of time (SPOILERS)
THEY SEEM LIKE SUCH ASSHOLES
Like knowing what we know about the timeless child and everything theyâre the WORST
Like sorry to the tenth doctor I wouldâve actually shot the time lord president without hesitation the second he said âyou are diseasedâŠbe it a disease of our own creationâ to the master
Like yeah I know he doesnât kill the master but the whole pointing the gun at him Iâm like ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like they actually made me feel bad for himâŠfor BOTH of them. Like what do the time lord council do other than BE ASSHOLES? Given I havenât seen original who idk what they do there but I DISLIKE THEM SO MUCH actually all they do is use people
I know heâs killed people and been an absolute menace and a monster but like :( they did this to him
Also I think it wouldâve been really funny if everyone had his face but their normal bodies. So itâs the masters face and like tiddies if he was a woman or something. Like itâs literally just his face in their bodies instead of turning into him completely. Idk why it would be funnier to me.
Also him giving his life to save wilf makes me CRY like Iâve never seen the specials before bc I could never find where to watch them. Also this whole tantrum heâs throwing is throwing me off like BROTHER he honestly just saved someone and youâre throwing this tantrum IN FRONT OF HIM my feelings would be hurt but at the same time I understand because I too would throw a tantrum if I had to die
But maybe itâs bc I donât really like hurting peoples feelings that I just would be like DAMN guess Iâm gone then bc I wouldnât like to hurt Wilfs feelings like when he says âyouâre unimportantâ like I KNOW he is just upset but PLEASE MY FEELINGS SIR.
Also THIS IS HOW IM FINDING OUT THIS IS HOW HE REGENERATES INTO ELEVEN???????????the website I watch these on DOESNT have any of the specials so Iâve had to go searching for them and WOWOWOWOWW
also I hate Martha and Mickey together I preferred her with the Milligan man. Like yes theyâre cute together but I wouldâve like her to stay with dude MISSGIRLPAYATTENTION nvm
Heâs saving people?but in a sad way?
Heâs staring at Jack??? Oh heâs hooking him up with someone OH ALONSY ALONSO OH
oh itâs miss nurse from the family of blood. I hate those episodes. WaS sHe hApPy iN tHe EnD? FUCK OFF
CUTE I DIDNT KNOW WE GOT TO SEE DONNA GET MARRIED OMFG
who is Heffery? Is that Donnaâs dad? Bc if it is THATS SO CUTE BUT SAD?????THEY HADA WEDDING IN A GRAVEYARD?
oh itâs a church with a graveyard
Kinda poetic but OOF ghosties scare me also SAD BYEBYE FOCTOR
oh god itâs rose again
BUT ITS THE ORIGINAL ROSE I LOVE HER
THIS IS WHERE THE ICONIC GIF COMES FROM??????????
I FORGOT IT WAS 2005 IM LITERALLY 4 WHEN ALL THATS HAPPENING? (The first series I mean)
like itâs weird to think about where you would be in time in the universe during doctor who
Like I would literally be a child in Texas who probably missed EVERYTHING because who would destroy TEXAS? California I get but unless they realize how big Texas is theyâd go for like Washington or something
AN OOD?
their faces are icky but theyâre also cute? I love them except for when theyâre evil <3
I also always read the Police public call Box as âpolice the boxâ and idky my brain is like NAUR the LETTERS ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER AND SMALLER IT MUST SAY THE???????
Goodbye ten I canât believe that this is the first time Iâm seeing him regenerate. I literally went through the entirety of nuwho and havenât seen the Specials omfg. OH NAUR HE DOESNT WANNA GO PLS.
Omfg you destroy the tardis every time so rude HELLO ELEVEN MY LOVE HIS VOICE IS SO SQUEAKY I LOVE HIM
#doctor who#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#dr who#dw#dw shitpost#dw spoilers#dw specials#series 4#doctor who shitpost#doctor who spoilers#doctor who special#dr who spoilers#dr who special#Dr who shitpost#the master#the master doctor who#simm!master
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I find it so infinitely funny that the Doctor Who creators were like "well its inevitable that David Tennant will return again at some point so lets just make it easy for him" and wrote it so that 14 gets to go on and live a happy ending but still keep his own Tardis and have adventures if he wants to whilst knowing that The Doctor is still out there saving the universe like... part of me is so mad about it for being such an obvious way to keep David Tennant around because they know he's the golden nugget that boosts the ratings everytime (sorry but he is) but the other part of me is that David Tennant obsessed bitch who squeels with joy everytime he is on my screen and the thought that he may just come back to Doctor Who every now and again fills me with so much joy and has healed some of my trauma from having to say goodbye to him 15 years ago.
At the same time this is ridiculous and as wonderful as Ncuti was (he was seriously brilliant) there will be a subsection of Who fans just itching to see what David Tennant is up to and that makes me feel a bit sad for Ncuti and his Doctor.
I also feel a bit robbed of the emotional moment I was fully anticipating throughout the specials. I was fully expecting to have to watch DT regenerate again and relive some of the pain and sadness I felt saying goodbye to him 15 years ago, and honestly I was sort of looking forward to that because its rare that a show makes me feel that way about a character and DTs Doctor is one of very few that I do feel that way about. Part of me really WANTED to see that regeneration and feel those feelings again.
Also funny that there are now TWO former Doctors with David Tennants face out in the universe somewhere separate from The Doctor. The one with Donna, and the one with Rose. I always figured if DT returned he would play TenTwo. I was hoping at some point to see what became of them but this new canon makes that seem less likely idk.
So I am very split on my feelings over the 60th specials. I love them and am annoyed at the same time. I have already seen grumblings about David Tennant favouritism and well, yeah, I agree, its super blatant, but I also totally am on the side of David Tennant as he's the only Doctor I've ever loved and will continue to love so ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
I dunno. It was joyful. It was so joyful. I shouldnt complain. It means we could potentially see more of DT in DW again in the future and I will never complain about that. But I can recognise that this is an attempt to revise the popularity of a show that had long since passed its golden age by bringing back its golden boy and there is something a bit cheap and disengenuous about that if you pick at it too much.
So I'll leave it there. I loved it regardless. I am looking forward to 15s era and hope it can recapture my attention the way 11, 12, and 13 never could. But we shall see.
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DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S4 EP13
HOLY COW IM DYING YALL
WHAT HE DIRECTED IT AT THE HAND
HES THE SAME
MICKEY AND JACKIE HOLY SHIT
He's so fucking fuck
Donna I love you
Ooh they're in a time lock that's really cool
Oh man that's fucked
Yay Sarah Jane and Mickey and Jackie and Martha omg
They're saying Exterminate in German!!! Lol
Rose and the Doctor are so cute
Why can Donna hear her heartbeat
Brilliant. All of them
Walk to their fates
TEAM TARDIS
Holy hell Donna Noooo
HEARTBEAT WHATS AHAPPENING HERE
Omg omg girlie that's time lord energy right there the watchamacalllit stufd
OMG ITS THIS CLIP LOL
YAS JACK PLAY DEAD
LOL LOL LOL I LOVE THIS OMG
That's insane
She is very worth it
Thata insane that's insane destined holy shit
Ooh she speaks German
Omg traitor woman?
Aww poor woman
YAY JACK
Ooh the three are inside the house
Dalek is very very insane
Oh shit oh shit jackie
Omg what us it doing
Oh food Jackie got out
THEY DISINTEGRATED
I hate Davros' voice but maybe that's just cuz of what he's saying
Holy shit he's insane
MICKEY AND JACK REUNITED
Aw Rose likes Martha
JUST LIKE EXPLODE THE EARTH WHAT
JACK AND MICKEY AND JACKIE AND SARAH JANE
Fuck don't guilt trip him so much (I mean yes this regeneration can be a dick sometimes but he's complicated! He's a complicated character!)
Omg omg doctor2 and Donna you better have figured it all out in time
Omg omg omg omg omg omg
DONNA YAY
DONNA HOLY HELL
OHyes
DoctorDonna!!!!
I love her ao much this is hilarious
This is amazing
Jackie looks on disapprovingly
JACK YOU DUDE
SUPREME DALEK HAS A CONCIENCE
Oh wow that's a lot of dying Daleks
Davros stop playing the victim
As it's meant to be flown this is amazing
K9 AAAHHHH
I love this so much
AS ITS MEANT TO BE FLOWN
Yeah Jackie don't touch anything
Oh wow that's amazing
This is so cute the teams all together god (can you tell my favorite trope is found family)
HUGGING LOTS OF HUGGING
Everybody hugs!!!
Awwww
Aww maybe Martha's joining Torchwood
Aww Mickey
BAD WOLF BAY
Donna oh my gosh
Awww he can spend it with her
It's so cute
And so sad
I LOVE YOU AAAAAHHHHH AAAAHHHHH AAAHHHH AAHHHHH KISS
And other Doctor leaves with Donna omg this is so happysadterribleanamazingendingforrose holt crap
Binary x100 jeezus
Oh no Donna
Doctor is so sad
Oh Donna
Oh Doctor
FUCK THIS IS SAD AGAIN
...and the worst of times but the best are the best and they are times
One last HUG FUCK
Okay definitely not what she wanted consent and all but he's incredibly traumatized and doesn't want to lose anyone else so I kinda understand
Fuck he's just a story for her Fuck
This is breaking my heart
Aww poor Doctor
Fuck I'm crying
He's a fucking wetpuppydog in the rain fuck sadness
WILF IM CRYING
Alone again alone again (this song plays in my head a lot watching this damn show)
End note. End note. Fuck this I'm bawling my eyes out. Okay. All I can say is he's so frickin lonely and he's always the odd one out and "all the others have got someone" you idiot they love you you could crash on their fuckin couches for ten years and they'd fondly just deal with it cuz they love you you fuck. Aaaghh. But also I totally understand that as the third in a trio and the fifth in a fifth and the seventh in what should have been a six. But also dude. Develop an EQ please. And also I am crying so much, even more than frickin Doomsday made me cry. Fuck.
#doctor who#liveblogging#david tennant#tenth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#donna noble#catherine tate#jack harkness#sarah jane smith#s4 ep13
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Ok there are two things in the 3 specials with the 14th doctor that realy anoy me.
Donna beeing able to just "let it go" and beeing ok
And the two tardises at the end
So in this probably very long and maby very confusing post ill try to fix them (aka write down how i would have done it with zero ofense or bad intent towards the people who wrote the actual episodes cause i still love them)
So we start with the donna problem cause it anoyes me the most. For this the star beast happens the same up until the scene where dr. Donna lets go of her timelord powers.
Instead of that the doctor manages to "contain" the timelord part of donna (and rose) and seal it away in her brain or something (i dont know. Its docor who it doesnt need to make sense) That gives them a unknown amount of time to get it out completly.
Donna and the doctor jump into the tardis to find a way to save her, coffee gets spiled, tardis goes crazy and basicly wild blue yonder happens exactly the same (maby a bit mor angst because of the still ongoing donna problem)
Then in the giggle we start to see donna get realy effekted by it. She has a constand head ache (makes her finding out the musik thing even more impressiv) and this beeing one of the reasons the doctor wants her to go back to the tardis in the toymakers shop (not only is he facing one of his most powerfull enemys but his friend is not in the best shape to deal with it as well wich stresses him out so hard)
Then the rest of the episode goes on normaly. They meet and play angainst the toy maker, he has his musical moment, the bigeneration happens and they win.
But instead of the price for them beeing the toymaker put in a box and the second tardis (yes i consider the second tardis as a price from the toymaker deal with it) 14ths price is donna and rose geting fixed and 15th gets to put the toymaker in a box for eternaty.
This way you get a storry line that goes throu all 3 episodes and fixes donna in a more rewarding maner than the way they did it in the show.
But you may now ask: "but natzomi if you think the secon tardis 15 gets at the end is a price for the doctor but in this version they both already got a reward then how do they both get a tardis?" And to you i say: they are the same tardis. But âšïžtimetravelâšïž
Like i said i dont like that there are two tardises at the end of the specials (yes i also said i think its a reward from the toymaker but that doesnt mean i like it. Why? I dont know i just think its a litle lazy and you could have done more with that)
Sooooooo to fix that problem you would need to add or change like only a hand full of scene.
Basicly the entity of star beast and wild blue yonder is the same no change there. But at the beginning of the giggle you add a litle scene (like 20 seconds max.) where the doctor notices a scratch on the console or a broken button or something that basicly doesnt stop the tardis from working in any way and he writes it of as the tardis having missed that while fixing herself or that she hurried back to get them in wild blue yonder. The rest of the episode continues normaly untill the end when they disgust the problem that 14 and 15 dont want to travel together, they are standing outside the tardis talking and then Boom. Out of nowhere a second tardis apears. They didnt do anything its just there. The exakt same tardis exept for that scrath on the console that only exists on the first tardis (the one we see throut the whole episode)
15 gets the one with no scrath 14 keeps his and everyone is happy.
But now we just need three more scenes later in the season to complet this storry. One where because of some fight or acident the tardis console gets a scrath on the console (extra points if the doctor doesnt know/see)
The second where the tardis just randomly leaves one day for like an hour or so (could be the start of an episode and the tardis disapearing kicks of the plot for that story)
And the last where the tardis returns (probably at the end of that same episode)
And now to get to the point ant explain the storry/idea ill just go over the events out of the perspective of the tardis (or at least her timeline)
In wild blue yonder she leaves to repair herself. Then she lands in the avengers unit tower and goes of with 15. After she gets the scratch she goes back to save 14 in wild blue yonder and then stayes with him for the rest of his life after he passes she comes back to 15 and the continues to travel with him.
This might also give the posibility for 15 getting his own interior since 14 probably changed it a lot while he had her and either 15 then could get the "old rundown" version with all of 14ths changes or the tardis changes completly for him.
Anyways its 3 am and i cant sleep cause i cant stop thinking about the stupid timetraveling alien man :)
#doctor who#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#14th doctor#14th#15th doctor#15th#wild blue yonder#the giggle#star beast#dr who#rewrite#shit post#new who#tardis#the toymaker#donna#donna noble#donna doctor who#doctor donna#rose noble#headcanon#i am so hyped#for season 1#disney#disney +
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please tell me all about in the blood (no pressure, i am genuinely interested though!!!!!!)
AHHAHHAHHHHHAAAA YES OKAY THANK YOU ELI
OKAYYYY SO in the blood, doctor who extended universe book, i think it takes place pretty soon after the Silence in the Library arc cos that's mentioned quite a bit, and Donna's husband Lee (who was, i may add, i think going to be canonically trans but they weren't sure how to show that in a split second without it being confusing but he's trans in my heart) from the simulation is on Donna's mind a fair bit so my guess is it's pretty soon after that ANYWAYS, fairly standard doctor who plot, big problem with technology and people on earth and of course it's because Aliens. specifically its that internet trolls are dying and ofc The Internet gets worked up about that, but as more and more people start venting their anger online everyone gets more and more angry and they become hysterical and sometimes die. which obviously is a big problem they have to solve, i won't give away the plot but its fairly average dr who stuff.
BUT. OHH BOY THE CHARACTERSSSSSSSASASSaSSASaSAS i mean i love ten & donna anyways but they are written SO WELL like SOOOO WELL it's SPOT ON and it's so perfect because they do the same things they always do - the doctor is fully prepared to die (well. very painfully regenerate) just as he always does and uhhh actually maybe it's better if i take pictures there was a lot of frantic margin scribbling & underlining hehee
uhm. spoilers below. and very long post
my handwriting is nigh-on-illegible here i know but it says 'she remembers the Arachna-things [one google search later - Racnoss] from the Runaway Bride she knows he has killed people & that people get killed around him but... [long pause here as i thought of what to write. how do you justify that? greater good?] yeah i can imagine it really is easier to not think about it'.
this is just such an interetsing thing that they couldn't have shown in the show right, you can't show 'she didn't even really like to think about it' visually with the same impact. but like.... yeah. she saw him kill all the racnoss & still travels with him. moral grey areas flawed characters but.... the companions must do some serious mental gymnastics NOT TO MENTIOn the Doctor coping mechanisms or lack thereof.
^^but then there's this!! the hope!! he really can't stand people dying even when he is surrounded by it!! he has to hope!!!
^^ platonic doctordonna moment!!!!! i love them so much heheeee but also Lee.... oughhhhh
^^ SUCH A DOCTOR MOMENT he HAS to carry on for the sake of THE WORLD even when it means Donna is at risk
^^handwriting id - 'see THAT is such a Doctor moment - just like ' 'yeah i knew for ages', lied the Doctor' - he doesn't tell people things b/c he doesn't want to upset them & he hopes that if he doesn't mention it it wont happen. if you see your own grave you have to be buried there etc. & it's maddening for everyone but also kinda tragic'
the doctor was hiding that what Donna thought was going to fix the problem wasnt going to work b/c then she's get upset & angry, which spacey stuff blah blah is whats currently killing people - but Ten (teh Doctor in general) does this A Lot, not saying everything he knows because he thinks it's going to upset/panic/hurt people/
^^ THIS!! he needs his best friend!!! without saying anything & over the phone, Donna can tell!! ajsnjansh i just love them so muchhhh
^^ (they were back in london in present day) the Doctor feels guilty about pulling Donna from her normal, safe life, even though like she wanted to he probably couldn't have said no to that if he tried - and putting her in mortal space danger - but also completely removed from her normal life. she doesn't live like Clara, who fits weeks of time travel in time to show up to work, she's missing out on Normal Life. she's not at home. Sylvia knows she wont be staying for dinner.
sorry a lot of this is kinda depressing BUT i promise you there are joyous bits too! the Doctor is canonically a Kate Bush fangirl!!! and donna has to stop him drinking coffee cos he'e hyperactive enough as it is lol. and -
hehe
#yes anyways uhm very cool book#in the blood#doctor who#tenth doctor#donna noble#there are more posts on this coming probably i have Thoughts
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Top Ten TV
Rules: Game: Add 10 gifs from your favorite shows and tag 10 people.
I was tagged by @godmerlin Thank ya so much! SOO
My love! My favorite! I adore you so much! Merlin until recently was a show I would rewatch every year. THEN one of my RP servers when down for months and my mind was like HEY YOU NEED DOPAMINE KNOW THAT SHOW? It's a special intrest now. Merlin and Arthur were always my favs. But I read two merthur fanfics, realized hey this actually worked, watched the show with new eyes, decided to write a small oneshot. And then It was not a one shot, And then there was a sequal and a prequal... then I was writing more stuff! This show showed me I could write again after a long time thinking I could not.
My second favoirite show is Avatar the Last Airbender I guess and my fav character is actually Aang. I like his nonconfrontationalness I kinda also have that trait and you do not often see it in fiction.
(Now from here on out they don't really have an order?
I really like the show The Tudors. I don't require historical accuricy in shows about the time period that is a special interst to me. I can enjoy the shows seperatly and be like that did not happen! But the tudors is weard because it is very much NOT historicaluy accurate as a whole but somtimes, Dialouge and scenes are pretty much ripped from the firsthand acounts of the period. This is also the show were both Natalie Dormer and Henry Cavill got their start. Fun fact Katie McGrath was actually working on costume design on this show and someone told her she should try acting. She got a very small role in the show then went on to land Morgana in Merlin. ALSO this show makes me cry so MUCH
I didn't get into Shadow and Bone on my first try. After season two aired I tried is again with a freind of mine and loved it. I'm so upset it was canceled!
With Brigerton I actually started with the Spin off Queen Charlotte (I'm counting spin offs and their original show as the same show usually so I can have more shoes listed here WHEEEE.) Anyhoo Queen Charlotte won me over with it having a romantic male lead with mental Ilness. and I enjoyed it! So I watched Brigerton too. Eloise is pretty much teenage me.
The boys and Gen V got me with its plot and commantary on American society. Alright it kinda helps that I've never really liked the idea of super heros. This is pretty much the only superhero media I consume along with one animated show my sister had me watch once. My favorite from the original Series is Hughie and my fav from Gev V is Jordan.
Okay so yeah! Dr Who. I stopped watching shortly after 11 left and came back for 14 and 15. My fav doctors are 11 and 15 so far! I adore Martha and Donna the best.
So The Last Kingdom was a show that my freind really liked and we watched together. I hated Uhtred in season 1 but came to enjoy him later. I LOVED These two in the gif, I WAS HERE FOR THEM SHIPPING THEM IN THE LAST SEASON. You know how that turned out if you watch the show. I have never hated on a character as much as I did on a certain king. THEM. <3
I am very much enjoying House Of The Dragon. I was a GOT fan until the end season even if it started going downhil before that. No I am not team black or team green. I can see both viewpoints. So I'm just here to watch people freak out over it. And enjoy it myself. And Cheer for Healana while waiting in dred due to having read the book it's based on. I'm upset the seem to have gotten rid of Nettles though.
Derry Girls is the show on this list I watched most recently. I did not really like the first episode but from there I adored them all. Clare and Orla are my Favs. But the entire cast is great.
@shana-rosee @tiny-and-witchyn @poisonedfate @theroundbartable @247merthur
@saurix5 @akelafang @kairenn-n @kadenemrys @pendragonsclotpole
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