#BUT W/ SOME PEOPLE IM SO LIKE
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sometimes my language is more "FUCK THOSE HOES" but sometimes it's more "how are you doing, love?" and im honestly confusing myself
#im having an identity crisis#AM I A PHONY#EW EW EW#IDK I JUST FEEL LIKE W/ SOME PEOPLE IM SO LIKE#UNFILTERED#AND VIOLENT#BUT W/ SOME PEOPLE IM SO LIKE#CALM??#AND POETIC?#AND LIKE GRACEFUL AND DELICATE??#IDK#WHO AM I OMFG#jisu talks!
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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watching percy pet that white gecko in ep2 with the biggest fricken grin on his face single-handedly cured my depression for the rest of the calendar year
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#I’m so late to finally watching this I know I’m painfully aware#but this scene made me so incredibly internally happy I proceeded to scream abt it to 3 different people#he’s such a little goof I can’t#my brain watching my hyperfixation w/ geckos and my hyperfixation w/ pjo meet#and u expect me to not physically explode into a million different pieces#and istg if it ends up not being a gecko and just some kind of lizard#im sorry okay it looks like a gecko#im not a botanist
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blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....
#solavellan#solas#gotta put out some tender stuff to balance the chaos target team leader solas has caused.#look i just need to go feral in the tags for a moment#okay the fucking. what's he call himself? the great adversary of her people's mythology....falls in love w a woman being forced into a role#not unlike his own#i t makes me c r a z y#like at one point he's all ooooh we're elves need to make sure the humans trust us to ensure safety. gives them a castle......#then he's all ''ooh you cant change the way your legend is getting out of hand. might as well accept it''#but he disapproves if you lean into it/call yourself the herald.#he approves of you fighting against the status quo. encourages sera to sow chaos and has a VERY interesting convo w her about power#''what lop of the top?'' ''yes.'' ''well what's that do except make room for a new top to come and fuck it all up?''#at which point he fuckin STUTTERS and is like. oh fuck. you're right. my bad. and then he shuts up in quiet contemplation#he's clearly wrestling w himself. and Ohmygod the felassanstuff.#like the Guilt. the Regret.#haunting that fucking rotunda.#and yet he's so in love w lavellan if they go that route.#like clearly some stuff was missing/fumbled in game. but like#how he fuckin screams for the inquisitor at the well?????!?! OK BOI?!#im just. the dread wolf. great adversary of the dalish pantheon.#turns out to be some somber grim guy with a fatalistic sense of humor who hates tea and greatly values free will#pina art
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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boo! old woman jumpscare
greyscale vers below!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#cw drinking#cw blood#<- just to be safe#people really seemed to like my odile hurt sprite redraw huh 😊😊😊😊#im so glad 😊😊😊#that redraw in particular kicked my ASS btw#ohhh my god why did i decide to change the pose. i think it turned out really good tho so w#also slipped in some personal hcs for how craft would look in color? i need to explore those ideas more#they don’t really translate too well with odile’s craft style#anyways!!! odile!!! she’s so much more fun to draw than i expected#i love drawing her hair so much… so shaped…#did have to adjust her palette a little tho (i think i only changed the book color and the gems)#overall just really happy with my design for her teehees#enjoy the old woman I Suppose
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ulysses would honestly be the perfect candidate for anything enemies to lovers regarding the Courier if people weren't so focused on pretending the random one off Legion members are better written than they actually are
#like. he talks to you so sweetly when you make amends. he feels guilt for it. but people dont obsess over him like they do vulpes or w/e#hmmm i wonder why that is....he doesnt get treated as well by fans as the white character whos way worse of a person.....hmmmm...../sarcasm#seriously though. considering writing some ulysses/james stuff just bc of how overlooked he is#im so obsessed with him now lonesome road might actually now be my favorite dlc#vinny rambles#fallout new vegas#lonesome road#ulysses fnv#ulysses
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Something something tim drake who has never been put first by anyone he's ever loved in his life being told he is not only kon's first but also his only robin..... for the only thing that kon cared abt to be the fact that tim felt wanted and treasured and important to someone....., that he didn't give a damn about how other ppl might feel about what he just said....... esp knowing that he literally had his home and title and dad ripped from him in the last year......
#timkon#kontim#tim drake#kon el#timothy drake#robin#red robin#teen titans comics#dc comics#conner kent#much as im all for socializing damian#sending him to the titans was some bs#theyre all like 5 years older than him at least first of all so they r not peers in that sense#like a 17 year old is not gonna be pals w a 12 year old#second they r all tims friends. who he just recently tried to kill. so thats a FANTASTIC first impression#and he doesnt respect people so cassie being lead? that was gonna go great#rose and him got on p ok but even she's closer to tim#no wonder he was like no thanks#but beyond all of that imagine the message that sent to tim???#'i dont want u and i'll bet ur friends r cool with you being replaced too'#i was so glad kon said smn tbh#superboy
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THERE AIN'T NO ATLAS, KID. NEVER WAS.
if you peel him back far enough, there's nothing but a pile of theater masks
like, it's really fun how fontaine starts spiralling out the closer jack gets to him in the final arc of the game and returns to appropriating the image of family (the fake family in the beginning, the flawed father position later) to try and appeal to jack in some way but it's like. buddy. baby. you already took off your mask. anything you try and put on after this is going to come across as cheap and desperate. the magic is gone! and personally? I'm hooting and hollering
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta
#like it's SOOOOOOO funny how he tries to pull the family angle again especially because he's sort of mimicking ryan#by trying to appropriate the father role over jack (the role of father being one of control#which. so you know how the fascist state works. right. if i start talking about roman history and the father of the state thing#will i start to lose people. im gonna do it anyway. SO-- [i am forcibly removed from the podium])#esp bc it's like. fontaine did the locks and keys for jack's mind but it's suchong we hear jack address with a familial term in#a recording. which is also. very. aughghgh. because we know what kind of person suchong is! (supernatural voice) family is hell#(not supernatural voice) you can choose to break the chains tho#i know i keep talking about the absolutely batshit family themes going on in bioshock esp w/ fontaine's father appropriation#but it's because the game has so much fascist dialogue coming out of ryan at full blast it would be EGREGIOUS not to think about it#i have some weird comic about intimacy via radios because it's enough of an immersive sim that i started thinking thoughts#about how I felt about the voice on the radio. and also. uhhhhhhhhhhhh. lobotomies.#(unsurprisingly I once had a jack/atlas-fontaine phase lmao)#bioshock#frank fontaine
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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To me the joy and beauty of vocal synthesizers has always been that they don't sound real and exploring that to create artistic expression that can't be achieved by human voices, so seeing them become more and more realistic is disheartening, almost? Especially since a lot of artists make the same voice banks sound so different and have their own personal charm. I'm glad that people will be able to make things that sound realistic, but I'm worried that songs that intentionally play out of sounding as realistic as possible will be sidelined, discouraged, no longer created, impossible to find, or unsupported by fans of vocal synthesizers. I don't want things to just push towards being as realistic as possible. There is beauty in how everyone's usage of the same voice banks sound different. There is beauty in the lack of realistic sounding vocals in vocal synthesizers.
#vocaloid#utauloid#vocal synth#book of kells#edit: i think some people are misunderstanding (and im not saying this upset or madly at all)#i absolutely have no ill will towards realistic tuning#i think it's cool as fuck and wonderful#this post was meant to be a personal post that bordered on venty and I didn't expect anyone to reblog it 😅#however people are enjoying it so i wont turn rbs off#but yeah i was moreso trying to express ''im scared that non realistic tuning and creativity in vocal synth will trickle away''#rather than ''i think realistic tuning is bad''#i dont think that at all#:}#also i recognize this likely wont happen but im still worried—hence the post#im expressing a worry#and also expressing my love for non realistic tuning#this post is not a criticism realistic tuning whatsoever!#and again the tone for all of that is kind/neutral—i dont want to sound mad at all ^w^
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OK so heres some of my favorite things that were talked about during the enter the florpus commentary thing yesterday:
one of jhonen's favorite things in the whole movie is the writing in zim's kitchen that says "do anything is real?"
they clarified specifically that gir was not lying and he did in fact eat a baby at the crazy taco
gir smells REALLY bad. theres like rotting organic matter in his body at all times. he stinks
zim's human suit is made out of actual human skin
zim is acting drunk on nacho cheese during that scene in his house because richard horvitz recorded it while drunk
they planned to have this whole thing with tak's ship only agreeing to go to moo-ping 10 because it knows tak is there. they wouldve shown her in silhouette during that brief explosion and she wouldve stowed away on the ship without anyone knowing and then wouldve shown up towards the end of the movie, but they decided to cut it out
zim did not need to frame membrane for a crime in order to get him into space prison and likely just tossed the guards like 5 bucks for it. its a shady place. they did specify though that if he did frame him for something, it would have been jaywalking
they pointed out during that scene where zim is celebrating peace day on dib's lawn that zim's reaction to seeing dib was very much genuine and that's just how his brain works. he is genuinely surprised to see him pop out of his own house. (they also described his reaction as like "being surprised to see your best friend")
the ham joke was ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL to the film and at some point jhonen remembered it and was like GUYS. WE ALMOST FORGOT THE HAM
there was supposed to be this joke where it cuts to and from gaz and dib in tak's ship and they would've had to stop at like a warp station or something and theyd be waiting in a long queue of spaceships and the radio is broken in the ship so theyre stuck listening to that one song. then itd cut to them like totally braindead drooling from listening to it for so long. and then a little later itd cut back a FINAL time and theyd know all of the words and both be singing along to it. but this was also cut out so only the last bit remained
when asked "who would win: minimoose or mrs. bitters?" the answer was along the lines of "neither, i think all of us lose in that scenario"
the tallest are just two dudes who happen to be the same height and therefore have to share the same job. they are not brothers and they are also not gay lovers ("as much as you want them to be, they are not. there is no love in this universe")
skooge is in fact alive and lives in zim's basement. they wanted to keep the number of "hey remember this thing from the tv show!" moments to a minimum so he was not mentioned in the movie. but he is there
#cryn rambles#invader zim#this is based pretty much entirely off of my memory btw Sorry i was not taking notes#im sure people will be uploading clips and stuff i saw people recording on their phones at different points#but i was not one of them. my phone was already like 3/4ths of the way dead when i walked in#also zadf real ANYWAYYY#kinda obsessed w jhonen's rapr shade LMAO#the whole thing was fucking hysterical im so glad i was able to go#anyways. there was so much more but these were some of my favs or just ones i thought were notable#also jhonen was excited for alan wake 2 today. my friend (big alan wake fan) was very excited to hear this info#iz tag#lazer rambles
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heres a scribble of these guys again smiles grins
#this was just a doodle before and after work smiles#not like. explicitly renga but u can tag it as them#i dont . like how some people write their relationship in a romantic lense sometimes they lose sight of the actual dynamic#which CAN work in a romantic setting dont get me wrong im a hashtag renga warrior esp like. thinking about langa being gay#and like. all my brainworms aboht that#and reki and his whole deal. oh BROTHER#maybe its bc im very fresh off of watching the show. lol#ANYWAYS YEAH I HAD FUN W THIS THEYRE SO FUN TO DRAW#sk8#sk8 the infinity#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#my art
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so uh
for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it
2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...
3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............
#why in tf do you think they care that much about getting your money rn and not before in any other war?#does it. mayhaps. have something to do w jewish people being involved now?#our tax dollars go to the govt regardless and has been for years and we already have an obscene amount of funding for military shit#preeetty sure they're not concerned about getting a couple hundred tumblr users money...#and also pretty sure one could only believe that if they're paranoid about jewish ppl.................#hard not to put two and two together and figure out op is prolly antisemitic and hopefully they just dont realize it#i say hopefully they dont realize it bc thats better than someone who knows and is pretending to be a leftist still.#if anything this pause happened bc its thanksgiving and biden doesnt wanna think about it over the holidays. thats p much it.#thats the only amount of conspiracy theory im willing to believe in this situation lmao.#but that ^ still assumes that biden has some sort of control over this that he really doesnt#and i dont think netanyahu cares that much about thanksgiving tbr...#it sounds more like to me that op is seeing this from a very american centric pov and assumes everyone celebrates thanksgiving#or cares enough about it to remember the dates.... i dont think this is as planned as op is making it out to be and any insinuation#that it IS planned sounds like conspiracy theory talk to me personally. i dont think biden is hittin netanyahu up and going#'hey thursday is thanksgiving and would be the perfect time to pause so we can (((get peoples money))) out of them#asiftheUSdoesnthaveplentyalready' like i just really dont think that convo is happening lmao.
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I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:
You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,
vs
How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.
Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.
Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".
Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.
#dropout#zac oyama#adventuring academy#brennan lee mulligan#reaaaally like- like not even the specific takes as much as the framing of this. its part of why i think sometimes discussions about#good or bad or happy or sad or realistic endings miss the point a bit for me.#like whether an ending is 'good' or 'bad' or 'happy' or 'sad' or 'realistic' are often distinct discussions along w/ being deeply subjectiv#not to say that they're all COMPLETELY disjoint but assuming one EQUALS any of the others often flattens the discussion. to its detriment.#narrative meta#(?)#not cr#look ill be real im thinking about (among other things) some of the c2 ending discourse. not in a 'i cant see why people were unhappy' way#bc I totally understand why and I did have my own gripes. but also.#just like. man. some of those discussions were. happening in the same spheres and threads and all talking totally diff things. and migh#have really benefitted from this framing#anyway I looove adventuring academy. the Lou and aabria adventuring parties are ones I relisten to regularly. connie/jasmine's ones r also#vvvv good. I also typically love contested roll for the absurdity but in this case the specific discussion spawned is so good I don't even#mind the trade of the hilarity#anyway sorry. off my soapbox now. i just loved this discussion
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short king and his shorter kings
#pizza tower#pepstavo#peppinoise#i sketched it out WEEKS ago#but w me almost finishing this godawful comm i felt compelled to do something for Me#i cannot wait to finish; i have a couple of forms sitting there collecting dust but im too overwhelmed w this shitty comm-#-to even attempt to tackle those. i need to scrub my brain and start fresh. but after i finish it lmao#anyway hey. hope everyones okay and vibin#dont take this seriously but also. heehee.#in hindsight i feel like i need to bump gustavos head up a lil bit but weh#not too compelled to fix it.#additional context that i think is fun; gus is just a touchy dude and he finds all kinds of reasons to pick peppino up#and every time peppino is like SO flustered and shocked bc itll be in the view of customers#like some sports team wins and its on their tvs and ppl are hootin n hollerin#and like people will notice and keep cheering and its alot hes like oh my GOD u cannot keep doing that im going to explode and then die#noise will do it to prove he can do it and then his back snaps in two bc he weighs like 80 lbs (36kg)#but for like a brief moment of time he is facefirst in tummy and hes ecstatic#theo it is not funny to be rushed to the er bc u broke ur back#also suggestive (but funny i prommy)#but he absolutely would be that like girl who needed a neckbrace from having her gf accidentally sit on her face too hard#hes like ouuuuhhghh....that was worth it. how long will it take to recover doc bc i wanna do it again :)#meanwhile. i think if that happened peppino would literally go into hiding. ur not finding him.#it would literally haunt him that he nearly killed this rat w his fat ass#as if this is not the way both gus and noise would like to go out. it would be peaceful for them i think#anyway#runs away cutely; see u in two weeks maybe
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