#BUT THAT WAS NOT HER DAMN WIFE

[pookachuka]

i just finished trespassers 1

[sophfandoms53]

happy pride month i love women

[beautyofattolia]

I think the order of reasons Katniss gives for why Peeta shouldn't be mad at her for playing up their romance is so funny. Like she starts with the fact that they didn't know each other and she was trying to survive and that she doesn't understand what exists between her and Gale. But then she goes into "well I'm never going to get married and he'll just hate me for that!" and "I can't afford love that leads to children or family!"

Girl. Why are you thinking about marriage or children with a man you claim you have no feelings for? Did Peeta ever say he wanted to get married? Did he ever say he wanted children?

NO! Katniss is literally doing this all on her own! She's coming up with a happily-ever-after-domestic-bliss-married-with-kids fantasy in her head with absolutely no input from Peeta and then is like "I could never give him what he wants!"

What he wants? Or what you want, Katnsis?

She's down so bad for him and we're not even in Catching Fire yet.

[ptanalo]

They are forever in their honeymoon era 🫶

[thundergrace]

Well. Trying to process what I've learned about Julianna Margulies in the last three minutes.

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.

[nebularyo]

🟥

[scribeofmorpheus]

Egaads! Another Solavellan plot bunny has taken root in my head!

imagine a "where is my wife?!" Solas tearing his way out of the Fade prison to rescue Lavellan (extra angst points if he doesn't get to her in time)!

Rook is distraught, tired and angry, ranting: "The blight is taking over the South; Kirkwall has all but fallen; the Inquisition is scrambling without its leader--" And Solas seizes up, eyes going dark. "What has happened to the Inquisitor?" Rook is baffled that that was what Solas chose to focus on, a little rash in their line delivery: "The Inquisitor was kidnapped by Venatori forces loyal to Elgar'nan." Solas instantly shoves Rook from the mind-palace-Fade-prison and they immediately feel a quake in the Lighthouse, a booming noise ringing all around like Solas' mindblast in Trespasser!!!!!

Pls, if there's other solavellan writers out there with the time and not like 2000 wips in progess, give me your fics!!!

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[lomlompurim]

I saw a video on tiktok about a woman telling how she met and started a committed relationship with another woman while the were in prison, calling eachother wife and then got married once they were out, and I can only think about lesbingqiu in that scenario.

Binghe would totally thrive calling Shen Yuan her wife, wifey, and live in a weird marital bliss with her cell partner. Then make sure to have that marriage written down on paper once they are out.

Shen Yuan probably finds a way to do mental gymnastics about letting Binghe call her wife. Prison codes? Protecting eachother? Just a completly platonic way to call a very close best friend/cell partner? Like those girls who use "girlfriend" in a non romantic way? She doesn't really mind being called wife, everyone does it here, and if she really needs a wife in prison Binghe is the best one. In a besties way. Like very affectionate roomies.

I don't know why or how Shen Yuan would end up being arrested and stay in prison long enough to got herself a "platonic" wife, unless it was just bad luck.

Binghe probably killed someone or smt like that but she is gonna be free one way or another.

[spkyart]

MUKURO

((Aka the love of my life ))

[small-chaos]

The love between Izzy and Brennan is so sweet. Anybody else might feel pressured to make sure they aren't playing favourites with their wife and possibly overcorrect by giving them harder DCs. Not Brennan. Brennan not only noticeably gives Izzy easier DCs, but lets her pull shit like this:

Brennan: "Spend 2 turbo tokens and I'll let you catch the cannonball"

Izzy: "I caught it. Can i throw it at the helicopter?"

All the while looking at her like shes the only other person that exists in his world.

And i just think its neat.

[fishareglorious]

I wonder what exact chain of events happened to make Z have this mug. Did she buy it herself? Did she design it? Make it? Was it a gift from. Consantine? Also how and why does she keep bringing it around to places (see: first img is in a car in green lake campsite) is it her arcane skill😭

[anonymocha]

“When I’m flying through the air and I reach my highest point, I know that you're watching.”

[chalala-chan]

I'm dead your honor

[joonebugg]

How can call of duty players be so homophobic when Soap and Ghost are literally right there lowkey flirting over the radio?