#hate these damn meta gamers

[joonebugg]

How can call of duty players be so homophobic when Soap and Ghost are literally right there lowkey flirting over the radio?

[squish-o-blair]

So I got bored and decided to compile all the lore revealed in the Sonic Twitter Takeovers.

I've highlighted in Green stuff that could be (or is) canon to the games (AKA stuff that's canon, isn't contradicted in canon, or isn't some meta joke), in red is stuff that definitely isn't canon, and the rest you can make your own decision on.

-This is just regular lore but "Ivo" in "Ivo Robotnik" is pronounced "Evo" it's supposed to sound like "evil"

-Eggman is a PC gamer

-Eggman might not be able to swim

-Eggman is in smash he's just super hard to unlock

-Eggman wants to take over the world because "It's Friday" (in other words it's implied that most Sonic games take place or at least START on a Friday.)

-Eggman can't get any bitches

-Eggman works out

-The Sega Saturn is Eggman's favorite Sega console

-Eggman's a fan of old show tunes and lullabies

-There's an Eggman empire lot in North Hollywood

-Eggman has a cat he calls "Biggy Wiggy"

-Eggman is fan of Tokyo Ghoul and Chainsaw Man

-Eggman is Youtuber Cobanermani456's father

-The Egg Pawns have names (one is named Fred)

-Eggman and Sonic hang out sometimes

-Sonic and Eggman are both streamers

-Roger Craig Smith is a fake alias used by Sonic

-Sonic shares a universe with Assassin's Creed and Sonic and Eggman once kidnapped Ezio

-Sonic's a shitty gamer

-Sega is Sonic's agent

-The Sega Genesis is Sonic's favorite Sega console

-Sonic's a fan of Mongolian throat singing

-Sonic is salty about reviewers who continue to bring up Sonic 06

-Sonic's favorite Sonic games are Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric and Sonic Frontiers

-Sonic's favorite movie is Chao in Space (even though he hasn't seen it)

-Tails hacked Eggman's Twitter account (which eggman stole from Sonic) via a "lonley robots in your area" virus

-Tails is a My Hero Academia fan

-Tails is fucking ripped

-Tails is a pro among us gamer

-All their gloves stay clean because of a special polymer that Tails made

-Tails is an Acapella fan

-it took Shadow until the aftermath of Forces to find the damn 4th Chaos emerald

-Shadow only uses Android phones

-Shadow is a Breaking Bad fan

-Shadow has killed a real life person and plans to kill more

-The Dreamcast is Shadow's favorite Sega Console

-Shadow's a fan of classic rock

-Shadow is a fan of anime (specifically Kill La Kill)

-Shadow eats coffee beans raw with a spoon

-Shadow is good friends with Big and Knuckles (more-so than Sonic)

-Shadow hates Capitalism

-Shadow donates his rings to charity

-Shadow shops at a convenience store named "Maria" and feels like if he can support some Maria out there, then he feels like he's making the world a better place

-Shadow has a soft spot for kittens and wants to open a cat orphanage

-Shadow's favorite movie is Chao in Space 3 (which he features in)

-Shadow is a fan of Infinite's theme

-Shadow writes poetry

-Shadow and Maria ordered pizza on the ARK that came from Earth

-Doom's eye is still alive, him and Shadow occasionally go out for dinner

-Shadow is the living embodiment of drip

-Shadow very heterosexually hypes up Knuckles a lot

-Shadow specifically tried to keep Sonic away from him during the final boss of SA2 because he knew Sonic would've fell to Earth too if he tried to rescue him

-Despite all the issues Shadow has with Sonic's methods and morals, he doesn't hate him

-Shadow is a bad cook

-Shadow is (or will be) legally married to @/RealShadowFan01 on Twitter

EDIT: the wedding's off :(

-Shadow is panromatic/pansexual

-Shadow volunteers at soup kitchens

-The Shadow Dark Chao seen in promo art and the IDW comics does in fact belong to Shadow

-Shadow and Amy are both huge Taylor Swift fans

-Amy's favorite Sonic game is Sonic Heroes

-Amy is a Fruits Basket fan

-Amy still visits Little Planet and makes jewelry out of gems found in Quartz Quadrant

-Knuckles collects rocks that look like animals

-Knuckles is a Lizzo fan

-Knuckles, Cream, and Vanilla are big One Punch Man fans

-Chaos Control is activated by literally just holding the emerald and shouting "chaos control" that's it, anyone can do it.

-On the Planet Wisp, Hide and Seek is called "Don't be seen or perish" and whoever gets found is tossed into the volcano on Planet Wisp

-Yaker died once

-They physically can't take their gloves off

-The Sonic OVA is canon

-Mean Beans are living beings

-Grounder is canon

-Metal Sonic is a series of multiple robots and not just one that gets repaired each time (this probably isn't canon anymore)

-Infinite is still alive

-Infinite occasionally sends Eggman gay Sonadow porn

-Charmy runs a thrift store

-The stone tablet in Frontiers translates to sonic version of the Bee Movie script

-Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow, all work in an unknown office somewhere

Things that exist in Sonic Universe (all of these could be red. You decide man idk):

-Twitter

-All forms of Sonic media (including games, comics, and TV shows) (they're retellings of Sonic's stories)

-Summer of Sonic

-Sonic Stadium

-Sega

-Undertale the game (and specifically Sans as a fictional character) and Toby Fox

-Game Grumps (specifically Jontron era)

-Tootsie pops (big day for tootsie pop Sonic fans)

-The Macarena

-Twitch

-Sonic songs (Escape from the City, Live and Learn, E.G.G.M.A.N., Believe in Myself, Infinite, and Vandelize are mentioned by name or referenced.)

-Cobanermani456

-Hulu

-Tyson Hesse

-Super Smash Bros (both as an event AND an in universe video game)

-SiivaGunner and GilvaSunner

-Hyper Potions

-Crush 40

-San Diego

-Apple

-Sega HARDlight

-Breaking Bad

-Sonadow porn

-Spike Chunsoft

-The Danganronpa Games (or at least V3)

-Etika

-North Hollywood

-Kill la Kill

-regular ass cats (not like Blaze, just normal real life cats) (also regular dogs)

-Alpharad

-Jacksepticeye

-Patreon

-Youtube

-Xbox

-Playstation

-Nintendo Switch

-The Completionist

-Gushers

-The "you know I had to do it to em" meme

-Tokyo Ghoul

-My Hero Academia

-Global Giving

-St. Jude

-Extra Life

-Hot Topic

-What does the Fox say

-Tee Lopes

-Tyler Smyth

-Sam's Procastionation Station

-Elsie Fisher

-Barry Kramer

-RubberNinja

-Sonamy fans

-Caddicarus

-Mario

-Among Us

-Colleen O'Shaughnessy

-Youtube

-Fadel Gamescage

-Lizzo

-Taylor Swift

-Elon Musk (implied)

[plumsaffron]

Miracusalters roast pt. 14!

TVTropes has the potential to be an infotainment site for existing media cuz I only go for a few anime fics there but not the western toons. But the non-bashing fics have been overshadowed by miracucunts’ “character critique” fics, not just their friends and associates’ fics or smth.

Oh wait, I bet some of you either use your sad past to gain sympathy and/or deflect criticism despite the canon evidence contradicting your shit!

Every day we stray further from whatever god ppl believe in…

Most ppl in other fandoms when they see canon evidence and rational folk debunking things: “Oh, guess I was wrong about X, my bad. Maybe that character ain’t so awful?” “Um, this fic was made long ago so I rly don’t hv the time to remake the whole thing…”

Miracucunts and similar people when rational folk debunk things and canon evidence is shown right in their faces: “You’re wrong!!!” “But he/she/they are the evil ones not Y!”

Some anime fans these days: *just chilling and watching their shows* “Ok so here’s my interpretation of the meta lore.” “Aww, they crossed my favorites with each other!” “I know the official merch is a bit expensive these days but they rly did a great job in making them!” “Love the fan merch on EBay and Etsy too! Those prices are actually affordable!”

Some western cartoon fans and old fashioned gamers these days: “bring back the 90s! The 2000s! Shows rn are shit since the 2010s!” *somehow hate content gets way more views/likes than non-hate content regardless of art or writing site* “I hate their officially released crossovers! My fav edgy show(s) don’t match the little kids’ shows!” “They’ve released a fighting game but my fav character isn’t in it! Fuck you!” *half assed official merch that’s hardly cute or pretty yet teens and adults still buy them* *but whenever there’s a good one, it’s too damn expensive and the fair priced ones are already outta stock even from online shops.*

Sad story for sympathy points, even when canon contradicts them. Haze Clarke saying Kagami bullied Marinette and it reminds her of her childhood despite canon literally proving otherwise (showing Marinette is actually the perpetrator/attempter/trash talker). A lot really be using their childhood and warping what actually happened just to fit into their delusions that others, next to permanently, chomp.

Miracucunts and their similars be wilding. They refuse to take an L. So much that they will make another proposition or keep running to find or make up more dirt upon the character(s). Chasing to any degree, wishing even worse to be true. All for the sake of wanting to be inherently right the whole time. It’s crazy how any can just prove em wrong and yet it does nothing, or they may just worsen, and others spawn and relate/support the delusion as if it were the real truth.

[chocoenvy]

Can we have more random twins au hcs 👉👈 I just think it's neat^^

im a tad bit obsessed with the twin au so ofc you can have some :))

This focuses more on their past than their future because im going to explore their future more in-depth with the series :)))

warnings: none :D

Random Twin au Headcannons!

(Y/n and T/n (twin's name))

(y/n) bullies children online

shows off their top-tier builds whenever they do their profile.

But they let (t/n) do the cards.

Usually t/n will show off friendship cards. Their profile card is usually their newest card or a really pretty one that they like.

t/n loves every character to death. They know most if not all of their backstories.

but some of t/n's favorites is Diluc, Succrose, and Kokomi...

They wanted Kokomi really bad but meta slave y/n did not want negative crit rate

They fought over it, y/n said they should get yoimiya or raiden shogun

but t/n said they'd farm for her and save up all of their primos

deadass, they almost cried and that struck y/n a lot deeper than they thought it would

So they caved and let t/n pull for Kokomi and T/n ended up getting her c1 (because kokomi just hated seeing their god cry at the thought of not getting her)

"Pretty fish girl<3 Thank you y/n!!!!" They were so happy when Kokomi came home that y/n really couldn't complain.

y/n is a toxic gamer, plays fps games and all that stuff, but they really cannot handle when t/n cries

because while t/n may be a bit on the softer side, they always cry for a reason.

Same can be said when t/n sees that y/n is upset.

If y/n is upset or crying t/n knows it's serious and starts to panic.

but when y/n smiles or laughs, genuinely burst out into joyful laughs, it makes t/n's day so much brighter.

If y/n is happy then t/n is happy, if y/n is upset, t/n is upset

same goes for y/n. Their twin is like an extension of their emotions.

t/n has mega cottage-core vibes

t/n listens to all of the fan songs and stuff and forces y/n to listen to it

y/n tries their best to ignore it but they find themselves humming the songs to which t/n is so happy.

y/n's favorite characters are Albedo Klee and Beidou. But they only really use meta characters like Diluc, Childe, Zhongli, Bennett, built sucrose just for the one-shot Childe build.

"MONA COME HOME SO I CAN ONE-SHOT THIS STUPID FLOWER!" -y/n

Y/n: "Okay, t/n, can i crown childe?"

T/n: "If you crown childe im crowning my wife."

y/n: "KOKO-?! Ahem... please, don't crown kokomi, she doesn't need it."

T/n: "Childe doesn't need to be crowned, he already does plenty dmg."

y/n: "But he can do more, we don't need more healing. You can crown Diluc if you want or succrose?"

T/n: "No, listen, if you're going to crown your character, I'm going to crown mine okay?"

They probably discused this for about an hour before the meta slave caved in and now they have a cracked Tartaglia and negative crit rate.

General vibe for these two is Devil Town by Cavetown

Y/n: *looking like a madman in front of a whiteboard explaining the perfect artifacts they'll need to maximize their damage, team comps, weapons, the stats and effects of all of them. Synergy, bunch of equations*

t/n: *eating primogem-shaped cookies (That they and y/n baked) while leveling Amber because "she's pretty and we're not using the amos bow for anyone :D"

Y/n: "THE AMOS BOW IS FOR THE NEXT GANYU RERUN-"

Y/n: "The weapon banner is shit but goddamnit I need this tartaglia bow please mihoyo gods give my boy his food."

Y/n: *gets r1*

Mega weapon luck because they min-max the shit outta everything

While t/n has mega character banner luck. If they're praying for Kokomi to come home you know damn well Kokomi is coming home.

But they both have shit permanant banner luck.

they go to pity everytime on there :(

Y/n has skateboarder vibes im just saying- free-runner/parkour vibes im just-

t/n has sketcher/painter vibes, they have dancer vibes-

T/n playing piano and y/n playing bass/electric guitar because i said so-

T/n forcing y/n to dance with them

Y/n forcing t/n to skate

They both love getting on the roof of their house (back when they were at home) they loved the wind and the noise of the cars. They definetely love getting on the roofs of houses in Mondstat.

[chocodollxren]

Hello, i don't want to stress you put too much so feel free to ignore this request if you want. May i request headcannons about a reader who's like Idia they're a gamer and a shut in or just very introverted. They stay up all night playing games. Characters are Jamil, Trey and Leona. Thank you. Please look after yourself, take some breaks once in a while:>

thank you for the request! here’s your order of gyokuro tea. thank you for waiting, hope you enjoy<33 decided to make the reader an introvert-gamer! ((: and thank you for caring about me, i’m good for now, still got some brain power before a power nap of the century!

𓄹 ❥𝘈 𝘎𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦❦ 𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘺, 𝘓𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘢, + 𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭 ,,

-> teahouse ,, menu ! order up ” guestlist ! ꒱·˚ ,, #O5.22.22🍵 ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵

summary: you’ve always liked playing games, and maybe a bit too much as you tend to spend a lot of time on it. on the bright side, your boyfriend doesn’t exactly hate it! no tws, gn!reader, established relationship.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ TREY CLOVER. ❞

the weekends were the absolute best thing in the world. staying up late without care, gaming all night, cuddling with your boyfriend as he watches you destroy the bad players, get scolded for not brushing your teeth or leaving your room. you didn’t actually like that last part so much but your boyfriend worried about you gravely. you’d always insisted you were fine not eating for a few extra hours, and not sleeping for a few extra hours but Trey huffed about it until you relented.

he couldn’t say he approved of your hobbies, but it made you happy and that made him happy. making himself comfy, he greeted you as you greeted him before going back to your game lobby, trash talking the other players for being meta. shaking his head he carried the bags he brought to your kitchen, getting to work on making you lunch and a small snack. it was great that you two could still talk to each other while doing your own things. Trey would bake and ask you what you wanted, you would think it over and talk back. in between the bake time he would come and wrap his arms around you, watching you and talking about your days.

nuzzling into his touch, you tell him what was happening as he understood nothing, but smiled. “they are spawn killing me and i’m going to get them back, just watch..” you hissed, he only shook his head before opening a window, making you blink rapidly and give him a small glare, him going back to the kitchen to finish up. “i’ve brought you something to eat.” you heard Trey say minutes later as you swore into your headset, something about kicking the butt of everyone else there. you thanked Trey and smiled at him before mashing away your button, rapid firing at the enemy team player who just seemed to provoke you all damn game. you swore if you ever met this man in another match they were your arch-enemy, especially his friend which kept backing him up.

“GAME OVER” your screen read, causing you to sigh out of frustration. you swore you got that kill on that guy, how did he kill you? what was your healer doing? while you were grumbling Trey laughed and brought you some mille feuille with a cold glass of milk, ruffling your hair. “why don’t you take a break? it’s been near two hours since you’ve started.” Trey asked, giving you a small kiss as he watched you begrudgingly turn the game off. you needed a break anyways, you don’t want to see those two for awhile.

cozying up to him, you eat the dessert and begin to tell him how yummy it is, and thanked him. his face had a light dust of pink, barely visible, as he watches you happily munch away on his hard work. although he doesn’t understand the gamer’s lifestyle, and you don’t understand the appeal of going outside and socializing with friends, the two of you do find a mutual bond and comfort in resting in each other’s arms and just talking. “you’re going to sleep on time tonight, after brushing your teeth.” Trey said when you finished, now it was your turn to be disappointed.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR. ❞

hearing a knock on the door, you let out a low grumble. “who would want to come here?” you muttered to yourself. it was four in the afternoon and you didn’t have many friends nor did you really keep in contact with anyone except your boyfriend. holding your switch in one hand, you fumble with unlocking the door with the other, not bothering to look up. “Crowley i already told you it’s my vacation, i’m not doing anything for you.” you told the man at your door who only laughed.

“do i seem like the dumb bird to you, herbivore?” instantly, your eyes shot up to see your boyfriend’s. normally he was at club at this hour, and he also would never come to find you first. it was always the opposite. shaking your head, you let him in as you continued back to your game, making your way terraforming your island. Leona was not happy with this, laying on your bed as he took out his own switch from under your bed.

“stop making cliffs and open your island. i want to sell fruits. what’s your daily hot item?” he asked as you joined him, snuggling into his chest. so that’s why he came over unannounced. “give me a minute, i’m nearly done with this part. and it’s a wooden chair,” you explained while going to the airlines to open the gate. “who’s that thing?” Leona asked disgusted at the villager you passed, making you shake your head.

“misery. got them instead of pietro,” you sighed, you lost the villager moving in lottery to some villager that would genuinely terrify you in your nightmare due to its appearance. he laughed in response, making fun of you as he cuddled closer to you, taking a lot around your island and trampling your flowers as you scolded him, threatening to remove him as he laughed. “can’t believe you said this game was dumb and here you are terrorizing me.” you muttered while watching him hit your villagers with bug nets repeatedly while waiting for you to give him something.

Leona had gotten the game via your request when it first launched and has been playing it since, along with you. he swore it was a dumb game but it made you happy and now he’s collecting all his dreamies. his island is definitely better than your’s with golden roses, a five star rating, and nearly completed museum. for someone who insists to you games are dumb, he sure does play a lot. along with his hidden stash of amiibo cards. but you won’t complain, he bought you the dlc. you both have succumbed and have lost sleep over this game.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ JAMIL VIPER. ❞

“don’t you think you’re spending too long on those games?” Jamil asked, watching you intensely fight your weekly boss again but failing miserably as your co-op teammates died near the start despite having two healers. shaking your head, you close your eyes as he opens the curtains and the first bit of light you’d seen all day hits you. it was actually crazy to jamil at how you didn’t even step outside once since the weekend, but he knew by now that there was little ways to get you out after you’ve started.

“noooo just a bit longer. i’m nearly at pity and nearly got enough primos, i just need to find a precious chests first and get my pull first then i’ll stop. my venti is guaranteed.” you insisted as he relented, putting away the dishes before asking what was just so entertaining about a virtual game. humming, you thought it over for a minute before letting him take the controller, telling him to wish for you.

“i’m not saying gambling is addicting but it is exhilarating,” you tell him and show him which button to press. “it’s also fun to listen to their backstories! i think you’d like it, it you start playing i’d even carry you since i’m ar59! i started about a year ago but…” he listened to you rant and clicked the single button. he didn’t need to hear this from someone who just died to a boss. as soon as he clicked it, the wish turned gold and you freaked out, shaking him. “Jamil i love you for now and eternity, please, marry me!” you excitedly said while grabbing his arms and smiling goofily at the screen. there he was, in all his glory.

Jamil still saw zero to no appeal, but seeing your happiness from a simple game pixel he found himself smiling. “does it really make you that happy?” he asked as you nodded, showing him the character’s gameplay style and how he fit in your party. nothing really caught his interest other than Hu Tao’s voice lines, but he still listened nonetheless. the next day after class you heard Jamil let it slip that he got an account, only for you to stare at him with wide eyes. “i reached ar16 and don’t know what to do.” he said as you freaked, could you have converted your boyfriend into a gamer? absolutely not, he was still extremely casual and the average quest enjoyer. if you ever wanted to play with him, you’d need to grind him and his artifacts for him.

although he understands the game now, don’t expect him to actually know any terms for a long while, and don’t think you’re off the hook for staying up late and neglecting your health, either. he’s going to be by your side making you put the game down, cuddling you. you can play it later, the games not going to run away from you while you touch some grass and go outside for a date for a few hours.

✎ ˎˊ- "chocodollxren" [choco - doll - rhen] ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵ dn repost. likes/comments/reblogs appreciated; not required. so long as you enjoyed the content.

thank you for reading! thank you for the patience. just another quick headcanons~ gyokuro order and going to work on more soon. I’ve gotten quite a few orders done, but there’s still a lot more to do before the event, sorry for tag spams! i try not to upload multiple things in one day to not spam tag stuff;; but it’s a little unavoidable at the moment. and yes lilia and idia made a gaming cameo, and leona 100% plays acnh.

[adhlea]

my hopeful but probably very wrong prediction for da4

Is that Quizzy will make a comeback as the da4 protag. I could go on and on about how nothing else makes sense, but why would they throw out this incredibly compelling relationship you have with the antagonist??

I know historically it’s always been a new protag, but the story has never not been finished before, either. They’ve established that Quizzy will have an impact on the future story: their decision at the end of trespasser will (presumably) move into da4. That decision would be pointless for a new protag. They could decide to go about taking down Solas in a completely different way. In fact, why would someone with no connection to Solas, no knowledge of him as a person, do anything else but hunt him down and kill him? To anyone who doesn’t know him, what is he but another Corypheus? ALL that incredible nuance they spent an entire game building would be lost on someone new.

And lastly, that teaser. You know the one… if you’re like me, your heart’s still a little sore from the total exhaustion in his voice. But what’s important his his choice of words:

“You’ve found me at last. I suspect you have questions.”

There is is just no way this is not trying to tell us something. Let’s start with ‘you found me at last’.

I could see Solas saying this to a new protag, sure. Totally possible. But consider the emotional weight if it’s directed at Quizzy. They’ve (especially a romanced Lavellan) been searching for him for so damn long, and (with the exception of Trespasser) he’s stayed out of their reach. The way he says it, the heaviness and hint of sardonic humor, it feels too intimate to be said to a stranger, even a stranger known from a distance.

And most importantly, “I suspect you have questions.” Why would they reuse this phrase? This was a very, very, specific choice both by the writers and Solas himself. Again with the sardonic humor, purposefully repeating what he said the last time you caught up to him. It’s the same sort of pained humor he uses when he says “what is the old Dalish curse? May the Dread Wolf take you?”

DA4 won’t be a new game like we’re used to. It’s the only game that will start as a direct continuation of the last story. Tevinter Nights let us know that the Inquisition is very much still involved, and that Solas is still very sensitive to that. He also mentions the Inquisitor by name and directs a personal message to them, which is just another unnecessary thread weaving them together.

So I’m not giving up hope. I’m sure if there’s a new protagonist they’ll weave them into the story in a way I won’t feel I’m missing out, but right now I don’t see it. We’d lose so much by not replaying the Quizzy.

Either way, hopefully we’ll find out soon. This wait is killlling me. 2020’s got me all cooped up and I could use some new DA in my life.

[gayregis]

Alright, my try at a hypothesis why people throw the "the books are better" out if the window: They are too difficult for them. Like what you mentioned: Percy Jackson - very easy and fast read, Avatar - fun and child friendly cartoon served in 20 minute episodes, another thing I can think of would be Eragon (which is admittedly a tad bit more "difficult", but the movie is SO bad, you can't help but notice). 1/2

2/2 now with Witcher we have 7-8 books, definitely for an audience that has some maturity and also enough reference knowledge for a meta understanding of the material, I have to admit that for me the first 2 books were kind of a real drag because of the translation I guess, and I think that might also be something that people might not like. Oh and of course they can't salivate all over C"""ll and B"tey instead of trying to understand the characters

you might be onto something. i dont think the books are complicated reading but sapkowski is just damn VAGUE at some points and it made me reread them like 5 times before i understood the overall messages. 

another hypothesis is that since the books just never gained nationwide attention in america (tw3 was extremely popular as a video game, but gamers as a demographic are still pretty niche and also a lot of gamers dont want to read books :/) and also they’re pretty R-rated at times or at least PG-13 rated: i mean, sex, gore, blood, inc*st, r*pe, torture, imperialism... you name it, it’s likely to have happened. i mean, the first book’s first scene is literally a sex scene (although not graphic and quite vague/poetic). it’s an adult fantasy series that wasn’t made to be a worldwide read, especially not by kids, and the books were only translated into english relatively recently.

thus it cant really be compared to things like pjo and atla, which were really popular among american youth who are now older teenagers and young adults, who have fond memories of these books/cartoon series, and know what they’re about, and would hate to see them destroyed. simply no one knows or cares about the witcher books enough to be upset that they got wrecked, except me, you, and everyone on r/wiedzmin

and yeah a lot of people (read: people on tumblr) dont care about characters and plot in a media. they just want to see attractive men that they can either self-ship with or ship together lol

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 19-27 overview.

Meta analysis of Erin Hunter writing tropes and trends, courtesy of two acclaimed e-sports commentators: 

“[Erin Hunter is] like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong.” - S.

“Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move,” - K.   

“Literally! I can’t get past it. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. You’re not tricking me.” - S. 

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions?

K. Oh boy. Lots of emotions, lots of rollercoaster moments. I'm actively hating the things that are happening, all the time, forever.

S. Mood. I would say actively detesting what's happening is the primary emotion now.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Very much bounced between anger and frustration, with moments of genuine delight. Very much extreme ends of the negative and positive spectrum.

K. I don't think I've been more confused and full of pure venom in my life. As a writer I am appalled, and as a reader I am... so uncertain. The good bits were truly lovely to read, though. They made it feel worthwhile, when they shone through.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. I think it's got to be the conversation with Heatherstar and Barkface. I think that most hooked me. I was also interested with the Flailfoot conversation, although I hated the turn it took. It will be different in my version.

K. Chapter Twenty is the one that actively had me yelling aloud. I was so ready for the Erins to make Tallpaw a tunneller out of sheer fear, and so to see the back-to-back catharsis of Heatherstar disbanding the tunnellers and then Dawnstripe being so A+... god. It got me good.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

K. I honestly blue-screened throughout all of Chapter Twenty-Seven, the last chapter. Without anything happening at all,  I saw a swathe of unending, dull descriptive text and my mind just blacked out to save me from comprehending any of it.

S. Was that the moonstone one?

K. Nope, that's like, the very last chapter of our reading. When he leaves the Clan and finds some rogue cat to lead him in the direction of a house.

S. Oh right. I forgot that too. I'm going to go with the Moonstone chapter, though. I fell asleep and dreamed of a better book for that whole time.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. There were several things in this chapter I loved and that really resonated with my concept of Tallpaw and my writing. 

S. “He’d be a warrior soon, then a senior warrior like Hareflight. One day he’d be an elder, limping like Whiteberry and sharing stories from moons ago with his denmates. Above the vast sky stretched toward distant horizon. The Clan looked small and fragile beneath it. Was this it? His life laid out before him like an old story, told again and again through countless moons? Tallpaw’s chest tightened. Suddenly he felt trapped, as though he were in the tunnels once again.”

S. “A thought flashed in his mind. We’re just visitors, like the rogues. We arrive, we eat, we sleep, and then we move on to StarClan. The only difference was that Clan cats stayed in one place their whole life. I’ll only ever see heather and grass and sky. Tallpaw felt WindClan’s borders pressing closer.” I loved this kind of thinking showing up in the story, and I’d have loved way more of this and far far less of literally everything else. You could honestly cut out all of the Sandgorse angst and just lean into this, because it's good and it's real.

S. I also lost my whole mind at this bit: “They’re survivors, like you,” Barkpaw purred. They walked in silence for a while. Talltail gently steered his friend toward Outlook Rock.  “I love this view,” he mewed as he led Barkpaw out across the stone. Barkpaw peered into the night-shadowed valley. “Why? Everything is so dark and far away.”  Talltail sat down, beckoning Barkpaw to sit beside him with a flick of his tail. “Just wait.”  “For what?” The sky was growing pale as the sun pushed up toward the horizon behind them. Glancing over his shoulder, Talltail saw weak rays seeping through the bare branches of ThunderClan’s forest. “You’ll see in a moment,” he told Barkpaw.  As he spoke, the sun lifted above the trees. Sunlight swept the moor and lit up the tips of Highstones.  S. I was basically like fist-pumping. Canonical evidence that dawn is Tallstar's favourite time of day. I didn't know this before I wrote my other story, but damn it feels good. I love when things line up serendipitously like that. 

K.  Absolutely. Those felt so good to read. Not a very long passage, but: “How could his Clan be so unfeeling?” — This isn’t a galaxy brain take or anything, but I do love how evident it is that Tallpaw is just. Solidly projecting his own feelings onto everyone else. They’re not unfeeling, dog! You are!!

6. What themes have you noticed in this section? Are these themes a continuation of the themes you noticed in the first section, or has the story’s focus changed since then?

S. In the first chunk, I picked out "division" as a theme. And that feels very true still, as far as what's happening in the story. It's even more emphatic, with Palebird pushing Talltail out of her family (or so he feels, and with reason, in my opinion) and his self-imposed removal from the clan.

K. "Desire" might also be poignant for this section, actually. Talltail's desire to go off on his own, Barkface's desire for Talltail to be happy, so many other background characters doing something with their lives to have a new start (while Talltail broods).

S. Yes! I agree there. It's actually pretty interesting how the clan's unity in the face of tragedy and their kinship with the visitors is actually a big catalyst for Talltail to feel that division happening. The more together they are, the more apart he feels. I think desire is true of this too. There's--as always--a lot of emphasis on individuality, and choosing your own destiny and doing what you want.  It reminds me of that line from Hawkheart that I really liked, how every cat has to choose their destiny.

7. If you were going to learn a lesson from this section, what lesson would it be? What message stands out to you most clearly? Do you agree with it?

S. I think insofar as I can glean a lesson from this section, I'd go with learning from Heatherstar: sometimes it will be difficult to help people and they might resent you for it, but if you have the power to make a positive change, you should act, even though it's hard. S. That feels very appropriate, given the state of the world right now. So many people are angry that authority figures are telling them to stay home and prevent the spread of COVID, and are resenting the very people who are trying to save their lives. I can see that same issue playing out so clearly in these chapters, after the death of Sandgorse in the tunnels.

K. Absolutely. It's so, so easy to direct anger towards something or someone tangible, rather than accepting that there are things that Just Happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

K. I was going to say something very similar: the things you need to make yourself better aren't always the things you want to hear. So many people try to help guide Talltail away from his anger or towards other, much healthier ways of thinking -- all of them trying to tell him he doesn't HAVE to be a tunneler is one moment -- and he just HATES hearing it, every time. He doesn't want to accept it. It feels better to be in his emotions about it, even if that's most obviously the worst thing he could be doing for himself and for others. Sometimes you just have to let other people give you the honest to god vibe check and learn to put your heart down for a bit, to see what you need to see.

S. Definitely. I feel that getting better necessitates taking responsibility for yourself. It seems like Talltail is resisting that, maybe because it's difficult to be honest with yourself. If you try, you risk failing. And the problem with any kind of self-improvement or recovery is that it's overall made up of little moments of trying to be better every day. That's so much failure to face, it can feel insurmountable. Whereas one grand gesture of revenge? So much easier.  Anger is a motivating emotion, so if you stay in anger, you can often get things done. But anger is also an emotion that makes it harder to react with patience or think clearly. A double-edged sword, if you will.

K. Absolutely. Pinning "if I complete X Task, I will feel better and fix myself" on some big goal is way easier.

S. I think that's what's happening for him at this time. He's not willing to do the mundane, scary work of trying to be better each day, and is going for something he thinks will alleviate guilt instead. But of course it won't.

8. The title of this novel is Tallstar’s Revenge. How do you feel about that title so far? Does it reflect the content of the story well, or would you choose a different title? What alternative title would you suggest?

S. I personally feel the title sets up the story poorly. Because I knew it was hinged around revenge, I was alert and looking for it from the start. I was paying attention to potential betrayals or crimes, so on. And when I realised this extremely unlikeable awful character, Sandgorse, was the catalyst, I got real mad.

K. I don't even know what better title would work, since I'm honestly not very fond of the Super Editions titles. They just... all do the same, on-the-nose shit and it makes it very boring from the start.

S. I think if we were allowed to tweak it a little, The Forgiveness of Tallstar, would be a title I would potentially enjoy more. There's an ambiguity to it, re: who is being forgiven. Is it Tallstar who needs to be forgiven, or is it Tallstar doing the forgiving. And I think you could thematically tie that in so much better to the kinds of beats this story is already showing up.

K. The only like, quote from the book that I think you could mangle into a title is "We guard the edge of the world," which like... I dunno, having something like "On The Edge" included in there feels right. The book's obviously full of big tension and drama within Windclan, while also noting that they literally are on the fringe of Clan territory.

S. I think maybe Beyond the Edge of the World? Since that’s essentially where Tallstar’s journey takes him? 

K. Yeah!

9. Many of us read because we’re curious to find out what’s next. How has curiosity featured in your experience of this book? What’s motivated you to keep reading?

K. Hoo boy. Honestly, half of the reason I'm reading is just with crossed fingers that somehow, SOMEHOW, Talltail becomes better. I know he must. He has to.

S.  For me, curiosity is a big part of why I'm reading--and continuing to read--this book. I want to know what happens next! I'm just usually expecting not to like it.

Final notes:

K. I'm excited for Jake to show up, because I feel that'll help break up whatever the hell Talltail is doing. He needs an excitable twink to break him from the evil fog he's in. S. I don't know if Jake is a twink, honestly. K. Oh, very true. We do love a good himbo. S. He's a bit of a rolypoly boy, according to the wiki. K. OH, even better. K. I forgot that Talltail is the twink. S. He's just a long sad string bean.

K. I AM APALLED AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS, ERIN K. This book is… it’s like being consistently starved to death and then given like, a single apple slice and going ravenous for it. There are so many moments that FEEL great (even if they’re not miraculous, writing or content wise), almost solely because so many things that precede them straight up cause my reader brain to flatline. The despicable one-two punch of Chapter Nineteen into the handful of great moments in Chapter Twenty makes me feel like I’m being waterboarded by Erin Hunter. K. Erin Hunter, holding my head down into the waters of godawful content, before yanking me up for air to see Heatherstar and Dawnstripe saying Good Things just to shove me in again. S. I can't disagree with you. S. I genuinely had moments of going "yeah!!!" followed by "NO!!!" like that one John Mulaney skit.

S. Anyway, I'd like to start us off with a familiar old Erin Hunter classic theme, quoting my notes:  - "Is it even a Warriors novel without multiple birth scenes?" - "Oh excellent another peripheral birth scene, I felt that there wasn’t quite enough in this book so far" S. If I don't have multiple women moaning and/or shrieking and/or groaning from birthing pains in my Warriors novels, I'd be devastated. K. It'd break the immersion.

K. I am very happy to see Deadfoot on the scene though, even though he shows up for like. .5 seconds before he's gone. A very good and lovely baby boy. S. “Tallpaw turned back and tucked his nose under the black tom’s belly. “Hang on!” he warned, flipping the kit onto his shoulders. Tallpaw purred as the young kit dug his tiny claws into his pelt, and carried him over to his littermates.” uhhhh what the fuck K. YUP K. Y U P K. HEY ERIN S. Let me just uhhh toss this child like a sack of potatoes over my cat shoulder real quick. K. Tiny Tim over here S. I lost it. I'm like, you really don't care what cat bodies can do, do you?  K. Erin Hunter: hmmm what if we just pepper in some wack shit. Like, what if it's just. Nonsensical as fuck. Who's gonna tell us we can't? Harper Collins? S. And the answer is: of fucking course not, kitty kung fu time.

K. “You’ve turned mean, Tallpaw,” Reena spat. “ That’s why you’ve got no friends anymore. Whenever a cat comes near you, you bite their head off.” “So?” Tallpaw hissed. “At least I don’t kill them.” “See what I mean?” Reena’s gaze hardened. “Why don’t you talk to me once you’ve finished feeling sorry for yourself?” — God I love Reena, calling it like it is. S. Mood, but also: hate Erin Hunter for doing this to him, over Sandgorse. K. "Flailfoot is trying to reason for a Sandgorse Redemption Arc and I will NOT be having it, you LOSE sir, GOOD DAY," S. Note two from my notes page: "I DON’T CARE ABOUT SANDGORSE" S.  Gets abused by father. Father dies in what is objectively an accident caused by his own defiance and hubris. ??? Goes on a hateful revenge spiral to try and make daddy proud. K.  The worst part is that, unlike Bluestar's which was a fucking awful mess the entire way through, this one gives us just enough to show that the Erins are capable of like. SOMETHING. They can write okay things! They know what they're handing us is bullshit and they do it anyway! It's infuriating. S. From a writing perspective, it's kind of fascinating to see this all happen, because like. What a fucking horrorshow. S. Really feeling in this moment for the people who think Erin Hunter is a good writer. They're getting swindled on Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why levels. S. Where's the secret good fourth episode, Erin???

K.  “Tallpaw’s wish to learn the skills that led to his father’s death shows true courage.” — HEATHERSTAR WITH THE PREMIUM ROASTS K. Followed by: image: “fuck them [tunnels]” K.  “Shrewpaw!” Dawnstripe glared at the apprentice. “Show some respect to your Clanmate.” Hareflight joined them. “Stop teasing him, Shrewpaw!” “This has gone beyond teasing!” Dawnstripe snapped. “If Shrewpaw were my apprentice, I’d claw his ears.” — HOLY FUCK, GET HIM K. The fact that nobody has noticed Shrewpaw using his claws during training is fucking ridiculous, though. He's done it the whole book, Erin. They would know. They would know. S. Admittedly don't love how everyone's concept of discipline is straight to violence, but we'll overlook that, I guess. K. I understand that like, bullying is something that can go unseen very often, but like. Come on, man. S. Yeah. It's like wearing knuckledusters to a playground fight. Hard to overlook.

S. It's what happens when your characters don't have internal worlds. They're just props standing there until you need them, not people watching and listening to what you're writing right in front of them. S. The problem with Erin Hunter's writing for me is that by this point it's hard to read their female characters generously. S. Most of the time I can go, "okay but if we pretend this woman is real, what rich inner world does she experience?" and try to pick up where lazy writers leave off, but like... Erin Hunter's characters are so vapid. K. It's horrible to read. It's just the worst. S. Not just the female characters, but especially the female characters. And I hate it. K. I'm genuinely surprised that Dawnstripe and Heatherstar haven't been mangled already, but honestly, half of my rage at this book comes from their moments, because it shows that the Erins know exactly what they're doing and how bad this fucking plot is. K. Two major background characters are constantly talking about how things Should Not Be The Way They Are, and it just makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. I know you can see the elephant in the room, Erin. You know this. You know the bad things you're making. S. I genuinely feel that’s why they do it. They make bad plots because it’s easier to make certain characters seem smart or likeable if everyone’s a rude idiot.  S. They’re like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. S. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. K. FUCK, THAT'S EXACTLY IT S. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong. K. Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move, S. I just can't get past it. S. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. S. It makes it really hard to sink into the story. Whenever something stupid happens, I'm brutally yanked out of the narrative, and it's happening constantly at this point, because of the direction they're taking Tallpaw. S. I've tried to like, put that aside and imagine his perspective, but it's so challenging for me to envision an experience where I'm a nice boy on a moor with an idiot backwards dad who bullies me and tries to control my life with emotional manipulation and disregard for authority, and then he dies of the thing everyone was saying was super dangerous and off-limits, and then I lose my mind because I didn't make him proud while he was alive (which he's not anymore, because of tunnelling) so I need to do the thing that killed him (which is tunnelling). S. Tallpaw can't be smart and also have this characterisation for me. It's too incongruent.

[brendancorris]

Ralph Breaks the Internet...

...by trying to show too much product placement at once.

Hi,I’m back to ramble about Disney stuff again. I’ll try to keep this one on the shorter side, but no promises. Now, everybody who has ever followed me probably knows I love Disney animated films, and lots of other parts of the Disney empire. One of my favorite Disney films EVER was 2012′s Wreck-It Ralph. It was not only a magnificent nostalgia-laced love letter to gamers from the 80s such as myself, but it was also an amazing story with wonderful characters, powerful emotions, and some of the best damn world building ever, as well as the best use of product placement ever. Everything that needed to be there was there, and nothing more.

But holy WOW has that changed. Initially after the first film debuted in 2012, Disney announced a sequel and I felt it was unnecessary. Despite my love for the original, I think it’s perfect as is, and really needs no continuation. However, all that was said about it at the time was it would be about modern gaming - most notably online gaming - and Mario would make an appearance. Well, fast forward over 5 years and what’s revealed to us actually has little to nothing to do with video games, which is kind of odd since it’s the base of the film. It’s like if Toy Story 4 was suddenly about sports. Just seems really random.

Obviously, everybody’s already made the comparisons to the dumpster fire last year that was The Emoji Movie, and, yeah, it’s hard to deny the similarities. Ralph 2 does certainly have better jokes, but they still aren’t too great so far. Both films not only have a similar premise and look to their version of the internet, but both are just drenched in product placement. Google, Amazon, Twitter, Facebook, eBay, Soundcloud, Instagram... they’re all constantly being rammed down your throat. The entire part where we see all the different online corporation logos there should just be a marquee at the bottom saying “these companies paid for this film”.

What’s also worrisome about the trailers is the massive lack of Felix, Calhoun, the Sugar Rush kids, and all the other memorable characters, original and licensed, from the first movie. Obviously, they’ll be in there in some way, but it is disappointing to see them absent from all footage thus far, leading me to believe they are pushed to the background this time around. It’s actually really hard for me to remember that this is indeed a Wreck-It Ralph movie. Just feels like a reel of internet and pop culture meta humor with Ralph and Vanellope randomly being our tour guides.

But the absolute worst part of the latest trailer (which had been rumored for a year now) was when the characters travel to the website “Oh My Disney”...

...wow. Again, I love Disney. I love Disney Animation Studios, I love the MCU, I love The Muppets, I love Star Wars, and I love Pixar, but... wow. This part, which is the bulk of the trailer, is actually really hard to watch and not cringe. It is the most shameless advertising of one’s properties I’ve ever seen. It’s literally just a massive advertisement for every brand they own. It looks like the entire movie’s going to just hit the breaks to just sell themselves out for 10-20 minutes. It’s legitimately uncomfortable to watch, and really drains respect for the studio, unfortunately. Not only that they’d stoop so low as to advertise all their properties so hard, but that they are probably sacrificing a sequel to an amazing movie just to use as an advertising platform.

Now, before my conclusion, I obviously NEED to talk about the Disney Princess scene. 

This is basically all anybody cares about ever since it was announced, and despite the fact that I find that kinda sad for Ralph and his series, I totally understand it. Finally modernizing the entire Princess brand library is a huge deal. Even if these exact designs aren’t used in the new Princess marketing, this is the first time Disney has ever done this, and it’s clearly a testing grounds for the brand’s progression.

And... some of the designs are pretty good. Aurora, I feel, is the best job they did. She looks pretty fantastic. But for the most part, I hate to say it, but they mostly all look like Rapunzel. So much of the unique charm, art style and features of the diverse princess roster is lost in these redesigns, and they all have the same huge, round eyes, the same body build, the same everything. Belle, Snow White and Ariel all look uncomfortably similar to Rapunzel now. Now, I will admit, most of the designs are appealing, they’re just so same-y and redundant. I expected better from Disney (they can certainly afford variety between designs). It’s sad to see the designs and stylistic choices of artists, whose works date back as far as 80 years, erased and replaced with safe, go-to design choices Disney knows make money. Also... why does Mulan not only look like she’s 10 now, but kind of look like Vanellope?

But, admittedly, while I do have problems with a lot of their design choices, this part was definitely the highlight of the trailer. There were a handful of really great jokes in there (many subtle ones you could miss, especially if you aren’t a Disney buff) and the animation quality and dress designs were outstanding for what it’s worth, but the tone of the scene, as well as the rest of the trailers, is just WAY too meta for me. They completely demolished any walls and boundaries that may have existed and just turned a sequel to an outstanding movie into an irrelevant advertisement for themselves and a multitude of other companies, all wrapped in one 100% self-aware, meta, satirical mess. Now, obviously, I can’t hate on it yet. I will still see the movie, and will likely enjoy it, as Disney always gets me to enjoy their animated films. But what I’ve seen so far is inexcusable, and makes me lose a lot of respect for the project, as well as interest in a film I was already not asking for. 

Oops, came out ultra long again. My bad.

Oh yeah. This just in - Disney waiting on approval for the Earth acquisition. 

[carriagelamp]

what don't you like about the bioware fandom?

Mostly that it seems set to hate everything.

It is friggin exhausting my dude.

And yes, I get that this is a skewed perception from manydifferent people disliking a few individual things each rather than a singleentity hating every single thing about the entire b//ware library but I swearto GOD that’s what it feels like some times.

Seriously, every game seems to be hated for some reason or another and I’m honestly dreading the release of the next game because i know if i don’t block the hell out of it people are gonna do their damnedest to burn it the the ground. you should have seen my blacklist when the newest m/ss e//ect game came out, like sure, there are always things wrong with new media, but give me a hot second to actually enjoy it first smh.

I suspect what makes this fandom particularly… volatile? is thefact that there isn’t really a “true” canon. As much as we in fandom loveeschewing canon, it does, ultimately, act like an anchor. Of course there is adegree of fixed plot in the b//ware games, but there is also a lot of personalchoice – which is fun gameplay, but a treacherous fandom dynamic. The waycharacters acts, which characters like which characters, what events happenedor should happen or couldn’t have happened, it all changes depending on theperson, with a healthy layer of personal interpretation thrown on top. But whenyou’re looking up fanart and fanfiction, the truth is that we are generallylooking to see works that reflects our own understanding of “canon”, to continueon the story we know and love, and so when those fan works DON’T reflect what aperson considers a fundamental part of their own canon, things get… tricky.

At least, that’s my theory. And it ties horrifyingly intothe fucking awful and aggressive ship wars. God listening to people bitch aboutwhich relationships are and are not abusive makes me want to lovinglysmothering the entire damn fandom. Yes, I get it, you prefer Protagonist with RomanceableCharacter A, that’s fine, great, live your best life.  Just search the relationship tags you likeand c h i l l rather than trying to attack people that prefer the Protag withRomanceable Character B – or, heaven forbid, those that prefer RomanceableCharacter A with NPC 1. People don’t seem to realize their own preferences,their own “canon”, isn’t being diminished by someone exploring a different dynamic.

Another thing that makes b//ware buckwild is the fact that alot of the dilemmas ARE moral dilemmas, in which you need to weigh your own beliefswith those of your player character and be willing to acknowledge the shades ofgrey that exist within a number of these questions. Tumblr, as I’m sure we allknow, is not particular fond of this concept, and goes hard for puritypolitics. So people get really pissy about people that like characters or plotchoices that push against their own decisions about what is the morally rightchoice.

I’ve seen people get upset that a “morally wrong choice” is even an OPTION. Like… this is a roleplaying game? The characters don’t necessarily have the same life experiences and beliefs that you the gamer do. If you want to play the game only going by your own meta understanding of the series, go for it, follow your bliss, but we don’t all want to play that way. My characters can vary a lot and so can their responses because my dalish elf doesn’t have the same knowledge as my human noble or my vashoth mage. And then people will go a step further and decide it means that b//ware itself is #evil for providing that option… somehow forgetting all the other options and social criticism they also offer? Like, just because every npcs doesn’t immediately renounce the chantry’s wicked ways doesn’t somehow mean that the company itself endorses slavery what… what are you talking about. It’s giving a glimpse into the minds of characters who have grown up with a very different set up ideological beliefs than us and… and I get tired just thinking about this.

TL;DR: basically you get this shitty combination of a massive ship war, tumblr’smorality politics, and no firm canon… and then wrap it up in a 30-100hr game that people get invested in and put it in the hands of a bunch of video game nerds, and this is what comesof it: a fandom that is determined to vocally and aggressively tear down everyelement of the games, the creators, the fanwork, and their fellow gamers.

Thisfandom has taken vows of mutually assured destruction and it’s gonna take everyonedown with it.

[shaeli-dawson]

26: My biggest pet peeves

"Cheaters and hypocrites.." She huffs. "Not talking about cheating at a game or dice, but speaking in the way of disloyalty. Can let go all the hate I want, but you deserve to have your teeth knocked in if you hurt someone like that. Hypocrites, pretty sure you would get sick of people saying one thing and doing another when they have your trust.((Now for OOC! I've been asked this A LOT! Thinking mostly because of people seeing what happened between myself and other people. Which thank you to those that minded their own business. 1. People not being able to have the difference of IC and OOC. You'll see this be on just about every last one of these pet peeves because it's that important. There's been more times than I care to admit that people take shit that happened between two characters seriously for how I feel toward the person OOCly. That's not the case. While it can irked me a little bit OOCly, I don't let it translate and manifest because it's only a game and only a story. The worse of this is when people start catching feels for the character and in turn the player. They are two completely different people. Then they start flirting with you all the time and it gets uncomfortable for everyone. 2. Clingy people. I don't mind getting a mesaage every so often, but if you're spamming me constantly and every few minutes...? STOP! I need my damn space. Honestly it get annoying whenever I'm trying to draw and my phone is vibrating while making lines for a piece. And in turn, I don't spam people for attention. Hell I'm hesitant that I'm bothering them if I reply too quickly or send multiple things at once. Like I've talked to a few people I've RPed with and sure they're like "Nah, you're fine! Poke me all you want." But that little voice in the back of my head is like "You're being annoying, stop it."3. Two dimensional characters/ Repeat archetypes. I know, you're comfortable with the formula that you got going, but doesn't it get boring after so long? No lie, I caught myself doing that not too long ago because I was falling into that slump. And this comes from being a female playing female characters. You want them to be strong, a badass, the take no shit from anyone sort because you wanna prove that you can be somebody. There's nothing wrong with trying something different to make you think. That's why I've made characters like my priest back on Horde. Compared to the snarky punk badass, she's smart and compassionate, for me that's hard because she's also a feminine character. Me? I have my moments, but not all the time. It just bothers me when you see the same cookie cutter type over and over.4. Godmodders/Meta-gamers. You know the asshats that think their character can't be touch? Then the bastards that take information from outside source to benefit them. Modders are horrible because you're trying to say that you "attempt" to hit and over and over they just dodge everything. Better yet, they throw an attack or overload you with attacks and go out of their eay to kill your...bruh fuck off. Those walls of text that you can't even process what the hell just happened. Now Metas get annoying because say you tell them this important stuff about your character, then they turn around and use it right away, no development to get to where they know it, they just do. While sure you can slip in a few things if it'll help progress the story, but my god if you decide to take every little secret my characyer has and exploit it? Again fuck off.))

[cordiformation]

Mercy Main, btw

“No aim, no brain, Mercy main.”

“I wish Mercy would be deleted from the game.”

“What a stupid hero.”

“Low skill hero.”

“It’s unfair that one button can counter an extremely high skill play.”

“Boosted.”

“Carried.”

“They have a top 500 and we have two Mercy mains, we’re going to lose.”

“Can you play anything not Mercy?”

“I hate Mercy mains.”

Anyway, this is just off the top sampling of conversation that happens pretty constantly if you’ve ever watched an Overwatch streamer who isn’t a Mercy player. The memes (ha ha, jokes) are permanent fixtures on the Overwatch reddits, of course and even make it into the “pro Overwatch” scene commentary (”And then Sherlockey swoops in from hiding and presses Q” -- which is related to the idea that “all Mercy does is Hide and then Press Q” which is the default ultimate use button on the PC). It’s a huge constant in any conversation on Overwatch (also seen in many of the popular youtube commentaries as well) and on the ladder a little less so but still “Can you play someone not Mercy” is fairly. . . well, common up until the most recent patch.

And I’m constantly fucking pissed.

There’s an interesting article here on Mercy but I thought I’d expand on it. The recent Mercy changes have really added to the conversation and just as people who played Mercy knew before, it wouldn’t really change the conversation.

A Lot of Arguments Against Mercy are that: 1. she doesn’t require aim 2. she’s very easy to play/low skill 3. she is too powerful 4. but on the other hand she’s not useful enough because she hasn’t been in higher tier conversation meta since like season 2 where she had a brief rein because of Pharmercy 5. ew grill gamers lol mercy main lol 6. I A DPS Main Feel Cheated When She Resurrects The Team Because My 5K Was So Impressive OH My God

One of the things I have liked and enjoyed immensely about Overwatch is that it isn’t Call of Duty 2.0. It isn’t the FPS only FPS can you FPS and only FPS game. It’s a game that to excel at requires a huge amount of map sense / strategy / game sense / educated guesses about the enemy so forth and so on. Every game is different because of your team and the enemy team and the map. You have to be able to predict who has what ults and what is going to be combo’d and what routes do you want to take on maps. It’s easily accessible but has a continual learning curve in what you can do.

Many characters who have ‘easy’ kits also have extremely high levels (in my opinion) of strategy involved. Winston is another example, of whom for a while was considered “low skill” because you don’t have to aim with his weapon, it does AOE auto-cleave damage. However, that has faded after the double Winston meta from like... season 1? And also because in Korea he’s seen as being one of the most important characters in the game. And it’s true. Winston is immensely powerful when used correctly. Just because his kit is “I don’t have to aim my gun to be effective” doesn’t mean anything in what ‘effective’ means. A good Winston needs to know engages / disengages, his own hp limits, other heroes cooldowns and ults, the bubble placement and how to block damage and ALSO enemy healing or LoS, how to utilize the jump combos to kill people etc. Another hero that the American (and I believe EU) sides of Overwatch had devalued for 800 years was D.Va but she had her revival in triple tank but only because “her defense matrix is overpowered”. However, it should be noted that while Winston has shaken off the ‘low skill’ title, D.Va has continued to keep it. Low skill, just needs 1 click (her defense matrix) to nullify everything! Low Skill! Awful Hero!

Strange how both D.Va and Mercy are female heroes and continue to get these comments repeatedly where similar male counterparts have been able to have that removed. Strange, isn’t it. A lot of other people have sort of spoken on the sexism in video games and the article I linked above also talks about it, so I won’t focus too much on it. But a real ha ha isn’t it.

The Mercy situation, I feel, is Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t. The only other burst healer in the game is Ana -- and Ana does have an extremely high skill cap. She requires fairly good accuracy and is also the only healer who can’t heal herself and the only healer with an offensive support ult, rather than a defensive one. Ana was op for a season or two and despite being thought of as ‘a bad choice’ for the first few weeks she came out, she became a ‘must pick’ and also a highly skilled character that was cool to play. She shoots people. And her ult enables DPS to do cool things. But outside of Ana, there is no way to heal quickly and consistently -- Lucio and Zenyatta both have much lower amounts of healing outside of bursts with long cooldowns (amp it up / transcendence).

For the longest time meta was just Lucio/Zen, if you ran anything else you were stupid. And then Lucio/Ana or Ana/Zen. This is with the top say, 20% or something of players, but Mercy has remained an incredible consistently high picked hero. For some obvious reasons -- tanks and DPS need healers to live. Even though Mercy has a high pick rate and many people making commentary outside of the pro players/streamers play with Mercys who save their asses... well, she’s still A Bad Hero to them. Some of this has to do with the echo chamber of these communities and the begging up after some dude says something and everyone else wants to repeat it. And, the sort of healer position in all games, as many people know, no one thinks healers have value, but they always need healers to heal them.

Anyway, people hated the rez. It brings people back to life. It means if you killed 5 people at once with A Cool Ult then Mercy could run in and rez them all. The idea often was that ‘Mercy hides and then comes out and rezes’. Which is honestly kind of silly since a good Mercy has always used rez for tempo and been with her team, since her job is... healing. But somehow the idea that Mercy Mains Are Good at Hiding And Doing Nothing But Rezzing and also that Mercys could Climb the Ladder By Only Rezzing Five People At Once spread.

Believe me, if climbing the ladder by getting 5man rezzes was possible, there would be a lot more Mercy one tricks in top 500 for the past few seasons.

But it stuck in commentary. Mercy was easy. Every Mercy player in the higher levels of play was boosted. After all, Mercy takes no skill, she just hides and presses Q. It’s ridiculous commentary and some of it has to do with the way that DPS players feel that all you need to do is frag harder, who needs strategy and whenever they get a ‘kill stolen’ from them they’re mad and Feels Bad. (Related, though, is how Trans and Sound Barrier can both nullify cool DPS plays as well, but no one complains about that... weird, huh....). I weirdly was watching a tank player’s stream where the exact problem was that all the DPS just wanted to frag harder and not follow strategy and shockingly they lost. Wow. It’s like Overwatch is a game that has more than just shooting to it??? Go figure.

Now, hilariously. While Mercy was too easy and constantly boosted she was also out of the higher tier levels because... she wasn’t that good. Why have Mercy when you can have Ana. Why have Mercy when you can have Lucio? So forth and so on. The only time Mercy was pulled out in higher levels for a very long time was “to babysit pharah” and even then you’d see Pharahs without Mercy.

Fast forward to now where Mercy got a rework because people kept complaining about how 5 person Rezes were unfair. The dev update is on the OW yt here. It should be noted that part of the ‘hide’ conversation is also your team telling you to hide when you want to stay and heal them. “Mercy go hide” listen don’t tell me how to play my character -- but it was pretty common at the elos I played at (gold/plat) and also the higher elos I watch streams for (masters/gm/top 500). People wanted her to hide because she is very easy to kill. Her 2016 Halloween victory pose is a gravestone with a hand reaching out going in for the rez and I’m never changing it because it’s Too True to Reality. Rez & die is pretty common. (example of both).

Now Rez is an ability and her ult is Valkyrie. When the changes were announced people who didn’t play Mercy were like Looks Cool and a lot of other people were like This wilL Take More Skill. A lot of Mercy players I know were... disappointed. Because what this change does is make Rez a single person rez (every 30 seconds) and Valkyrie lets her fly + shoot faster and resets the rez cooldown + her healing/damage boost beams connect to teammates instead of just one person. But what this did was take away her ability to save her team. So there’s no “I can save my team from an ult” ability she has anymore. Rez was the defensive ult she had to ‘team save’ like Sound Barrier and Trascendence.

But she’s been live for a while now and the answer people have now is: she’s too easy and too op. Her rez nullifies picks and it’s Unfair that Mercy’s Rez is So Easy and nullifies a High Skill Play Like a Pick. Her Ult is Too Good. She Does Too Much.  We Need a Mercy in Every Game or We’ll Lose. 

With that last one, let me tell you, I have watched all these top 500 DPS and tank/off tank players playing Mercy and they are so bad. Or having other GM players play Mercy because “we can’t win without one” but then the Mercy is so bad they lose. I mean, but if she was so easy wouldn’t she be able to be picked up immediately? Easy victory right? All Mercys up in higher levels have no skill, huh?

I won’t disagree that her ult is possibly too long or a little overpowered. Resetting the rez I think is fine. The 10 second cooldown is good. After all, that’s what makes her ... well, her. The rez. But her ult lasts for 20 seconds. They could cut it to 12 seconds or 15 and it would be much more balanced. Even that much would be enough imo, but if they needed further nerfs, they could also nerf the connected beams to teammates and have them have a drop off or something. I.E., main person gets the full heal, the connected people get less of a heal. But while people complain deeply about new Mercy ult... no one works too hard to counter it. As much as people complain about Mercy, very few people have ever tried to counter it. In fact, popular streamers have said: My team doesn’t know to kill Mercy, so I hate her. 

My DPS doesn’t know to kill the other teams support, so I hate the support. Thinking.

Mercy was given invul when she rezzed because it was too easy for her to die during rez. This has been removed for her current update and the rez distance is melee distance. So if you just killed someone and  Mercy goes in for the rez... you should also be able to kill her. It’s extremely valuable then. Her ult is easily countered by tac visor or deadeye. She herself is countered by anyone who can aim and Sombra. If DPS is so skilled, doesn’t it seem like they should be able to deal with a 200hp hero? Hm. At my elo (Plat/Diamond rn) you can still hunt her down with Pharah and kill her.

Now, the skill part of Mercy. When Mercys changes came through, they were extremely easy for me to adjust to. My friends have had varying experiences -- many have said she’s much harder. I feel that she’s much easier because the hardest part of Mercy is strategy. Which of your teammates are the most valuable to rez right now, will rezzing them be productive, what ults do the enemy have which cooldowns do they have, where are we with progress, where are the rest of my teammates, what ults do we have, where are we on the map blah blah. Tempo rez has always been good but before you had to balance it with “will i need a team rez later”. 8/10 of my rezzes previous have been tempo rezzes because team rezzes often just set your team up to get wiped again.

But with her changes, that has been removed. You can only tempo rez. That decision has been removed. The weight is more on who and when and why -- but honestly, it’s also relieving because instead of “my DPS loves feeding jesus christ stop dying now we have to wait for you to respawn so we can push again” the fights are a lot quicker to engage. You can make up for your teammates bad decisions with rez. If you’re good with it.

Who do you rez? Well, it’s a pretty easy answer for me which is “depends”, lol. It’s a nice place to be as a solo healer if you have 2 tanks, you can let one of them die and heal the other. You can continue pushes when people make mistakes. You can rez your DPS carry or second support. There’s so many more options to enable your team to do well.

You have to know your distance and teammate positions intimately so you can escape and go in. Her new Guardian Angel lets you slingshot around and it’s nice but also tricky to use (?). The skill part of Mercy has always been strategy and positioning, and this change hasn’t change it at all.

I suppose, people who were mediocre or bad at Mercy continue to be bad at Mercy.

I guess... this is the parting word here. I’m not exactly sure where I meant to go with this except I’m tired. I’m tired of people bagging on Mercy. Of complaining but wanting to be healed and rezzed. I’m honestly tired of maining who seems to be the most hated character in Mercy. The more people complain about aspects of heroes in Overwatch who clearly have a place and are generally not OP people just haven’t at all considered actually countering them the more it feels like the community never wanted you. And honestly, maybe they never did. I jokingly bag on Mercy all the time in hopes that I will become immune to it. It doesn’t work. I play fill in most competitive matches and often it’s support that needs filled. Or, say, a tank but there’s no support so playing tank will be difficult and suck.

I think I had more to say. But I’m sure anyone reading this can guess what. I’ve always enjoyed that OW isn’t just about fps. I wish the rest of the community would catch up with that.

[samanthasroberts]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/07/25/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

[allofbeercom]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned-2/

[celestialmarks]

kokichi for the hc meme 👀

glitch do u know that ilu. thank you for indulging me[ V3 SPOILERS ]Headcanon A:  realistic

he’s gay ace. it’s realistic. i can drop an essay on you any day as to why. to keep it simple tho, 1. makes sex jokes, flaunts that he’s comfortable with the idea (acting the way he thinks he is /supposed to/ also jokes =/= interest) but the instant saihara makes a move on him (”strip for me”) he pretends to play along then tears saihara down so fast you get whiplash 2. literally ran out of the love hotel after struggling to stay in control inside his own fantasy, which entailed pushing saihara so much saihara wouldn’t pull– he found himself way too vulnerable in the process and saihara was beginning on pick up on stuff so he hightailed out there, but, yeah

i will go down with this hc

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

you can’t tell me the phantom thief/detective dynamic isn’t a persona 5 reference and as such i think kokichi is a big persona fan (makes sense since he’s a gamer). totally writes ren/goro fic on the weekends and gets into discourse/elaborate meta over the intricacies of the persona universe and each relationship because damn it, atlus, how dare you give us those characters and treat them like this

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

he always was a liar. the trust issues that enhanced his paranoia in game are deep rooted within him. he suffered from neglect and emotional abuse pregame (at home) which made him start to lie pathologically, and was pretty isolated socially overrall, had no one he could/would rely on. he couldn’t break the cycle during the game. kid’s had a shitty life and died with no one caring for him in the least (gonta cared and... we know how that ended)

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

hate to be like ‘this was a VR he’s alive’ but it was, and he’ll be happy and cared for, down the line, Eventually, after working through his issuesflips kodaka off while blowing him a kiss simultaneously

[samanthasroberts]

5 Awesome Game Sequels That Were Screwed Over & Canned

Death, taxes, and AAA video game sequels: the only inevitable things in this world. If we didn’t get a new Call Of Duty or Assassin’s Creed this year, we would take it as an omen of Ragnarok — which is why it’s all the more tragic that some of the best potential sequels ever envisioned will never come to pass. Like …

#5. Fallout Online Got Lost In A Legal Quagmire

Long before Fallout 4 brought the mighty porn industry to its knees, pun remorselessly intended, the Fallout games put a lot more emphasis on the role-playing side of things, giving you a birds-eye view of a game that looks like it could be run with the processing power of an unusually large potato.

Not even an Idaho one — more like a Wisconsin-grown potato.

The early Fallout games were considered some of the finest RPGs ever made. But in 2007, Interplay, its creator, sold the franchise to Bethesda Softworks, the company of 10,000 artists and three voice actors. Part of the deal was that Interplay got to keep the rights to develop an MMO based on Fallout — think World Of Warcraft, but with super mutants instead of orcs.

A huge improvement on the sexiness scale.

This wasn’t just a pipe dream — large chunks of the map had been developed, the guts of the gameplay were functional, scenarios had been written, players had the ability to create and run their own towns, and Interplay had developed a “game-worldwide meta-puzzle,” where the entire player base would have to come together to solve an elaborate mystery that spanned the apocalypse. Basically, you know how all your friends won’t shut up about their Fallout 4 adventures? Fallout Online would have allowed you to have those adventures together, although it also would have vastly increased the likelihood of employers across the country seeing through your fake illness when you inadvertently grouped up with them.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

That deal we mentioned? It came with the condition that Interplay had to start getting serious about working on Fallout Online by 2009. All those words we just said up there implied that they had, but Bethesda disagreed and took Interplay to court. Long and complicated story short, Bethesda lost more decisions than the Washington Generals, but eventually managed to settle out of court, giving Interplay 2 million bucks and permission to continue developing their game — as long as they stripped every mention of “Fallout” from it.

Their knock-off Nuka-Cola would have been nothing but raw sewage and carbonated Brahmin blood … So, Pepsi.

Definitely Not Fallout Online was then handed over to another developer who ran a crowdfunding campaign to rustle up even more money, after which they, uh, vanished from the face of the Earth, taking every hope of a Fallout MMO with them (and also the money of all those loyal fans).

Dickheads? Dickheads never change.

#4. A Completed Star Fox 2 Was Canned Because Of The Console Wars

Star Fox, the game that birthed a generation of furries, and Star Fox 64, the game that birthed a generation of frog-hating barrel roll enthusiasts, are both universally regarded as classic Nintendo games that look like the aftermath of a drunken polygon party by today’s standards. But another game was supposed to have come out in-between them, appropriately titled Star Fox 2. And it looked pretty damn good …

Instead of just being a linear series of ship battles, Star Fox 2 would have had you flying around the solar system to contain an invasion force. You had to pick your battles, defend your home planet from missiles, and retreat from fights to dive into others that needed you more, adding strategy and exploration to a game whose only weak point was its on-rails nature. There was also a multiplayer duel option, and the Star Fox team would have expanded to include a tomboy lynx and a fashionable poodle girl. And we think everyone can agree that the male-dominated Star Fox team needed some ladies to balance out the space combat gender gap and help guide some animal-loving players through a very special time in their lives.

Someone’s about to make a Slippy in their pants.

Once you tear your eyes away, you may start wondering why basically everything is known about a game that got the ax. Well, the game was all finished and set to be released in the summer of 1995 until it was abruptly cancelled, which is like watching your mom pull a fresh batch of chocolate-chip cookies out of the oven, only to dump them in the garbage bin and cover them with cat vomit.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Star Fox 2 was all set to be a hit, partially because Nintendo in the ’90s could have slapped their name on a box of venomous centipedes and still sold a million copies. But, the Nintendo 64 was about to come out, and Nintendo wanted a clean break between the Super Nintendo’s two dimensions and the N64’s bold new future of one more than that.

A strategy that never, ever bit them in the ass. Ever.

Also, the Sega Saturn and Sony PlayStation had just come out, and Nintendo was worried that their newfangled 3D games would make Star Fox 2 look shitty and old-fashioned by comparison, regardless of how fun it was. And so they pulled the plug, losing money and scuttling a couple years of hard work because graphics were more important than gameplay, even in an era when every 3D game you played made you feel like you had cyber-glaucoma.

Rats, in this case, being Nintendo’s accountants.

#3. Fez 2 Became The Casualty Of A Twitter Spat

Indie game Fez, whose tumultuous five-year development earned its own Wikipedia page, was primarily powered by designer Phil Fish, who was quite outspoken about how game design may not always be kitten snuggles and rainbows. But, Fez overcame long odds to sell more than a million copies and become highly regarded as an ingenious platforming puzzle game. A sequel seemed inevitable, and, sure enough, along came a teaser video with suitably epic music …

… and then Fish canned the game a month after announcing it, to the complete shock of everyone who wasn’t named Phil Fish.

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

When Fish refused to comment on Microsoft’s new Xbox One indie game development policies, obscure gaming journalist Marcus Beer decided that this was an egregious affront against humanity. Beer said Fish was “bitching and moaning” about having to answer media questions. He also called Fish a “fucking asshole,” a “fucking hipster,” and a “tosspot,” which we’re pretty sure is British for something along the lines of “not a great dude.” Fish responded on Twitter in the most mature and responsible way that platform allows: by telling Beer to go kill himself.

Yet another stupid fight started with Beer consumption.

When the dust settled, Fish declared, “I fucking hate this industry,” cancelled the game, announced his exit from game development, and took his ball home.

Leaving disappointed fans to tell him where he could put it.

Fish later clarified that the cancellation of Fez 2 wasn’t “due to any one thing,” implying that Beer’s comments were simply the straw that broke the fish’s back.

… said the boorish fuck.

But, regardless of other contributing factors, it was a stupid Twitter spat that ultimately killed the game. Seriously, social media, is there anything you don’t ruin?

#2. A Mario Volleyball Game Was Cancelled For Violating A Vague Honor Code

Mario is one of the greatest athletes to ever fictionally exist. From golf, tennis, and go-karting to baseball, basketball, and more, he has mastered countless sports, despite looking like his favorite is amateur hot dog eating. So, when Next Level Gamers started working on a Mario volleyball game with the premise of “Hey, Mario hasn’t played volleyball yet,” they must have felt pretty good about their odds of success — especially since they had already made their mark with two Super Mario Strikers games that were praised for combining the tedium of soccer with the physics of Space Jam.

At least it gives Waluigi something to do in between bouts of never doing anything.

Then, they threw in elements of professional wrestling and game shows to make the weirdest hybrid this side of a stoner’s kitchen. Nintendo’s beloved characters were going to spike balls into faces and pile-drive each other into the floors of electrified rings in the insane genre mash-up you never knew you wanted. At best, it would have been a glorious, surreal combination of ideas that monopolized your weekends like so many go-kart races and tennis matches before it. And, at worst, it would have provided fleeting amusement before your inevitable demise, which is all we can really ask of a video game.

It honestly makes about as much sense as actual wrestling, so why not?

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Nintendo felt that “certain aspects of [the game’s] premise clashed with the company’s code of honor,” because Nintendo apparently operates under the same principles as the French Foreign Legion. Just what Nintendo meant is vague, but we do know that they were uncomfortable with the level of violence in the game and considered it “dishonorable” to be able to hit characters that were already down. Behold the incredible, stomach-churning combat that Nintendo found unsettling:

What happened to wholesome entertainment, like ripping turtles out of their shells and slowly digesting Goombas alive?

Their objections mostly just raise further questions, considering one of their most successful franchises is all about having their most popular characters mercilessly pummel the absolute shit out of each other. Maybe volleyball is just really unpopular in Japan. Or, maybe the video game industry is terrifyingly arbitrary, and it’s a wonder anything ever gets made at all. Or, maybe both!

#1. Silent Hills Was Cancelled Because Konami Thinks Mobile Gaming Is The Future

Doubly so if they included an alternate skin of his fashion model days.

The hype train gained further steam with the release of P.T., a playable teaser (oooh, we just got that), where you stroll through the same hallway repeatedly and watch your home slowly get more and more horrifying.

Home Alone took a dark turn once Kevin found Buzz’s stash of mushrooms.

There was no combat, almost no dialogue, a simple plot, and little interaction beyond discovering what fucked-up thing was now in your bathroom. And it was still widely considered one of the best horror games of the year. That’s like a movie trailer beating actual movies for the Best Picture Oscar. It was a legitimately terrifying experience and, if the full game was able to match its intensity, it would have been an instant classic.

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to devour my flesh and feast on my soul.”

And then it was cancelled, the ability to download P.T. was removed, and developer Konami is now hunting down anyone who still references its existence and sending them to re-education camps. Run! Save yourself, before it’s too late!

The Stupid Reason It Was Cancelled:

Konami thinks traditional games just aren’t worth the effort anymore. This is the Silent Hill game they decided to make instead.

Yes, that’s a Silent Hill-themed slot machine set to music that’s rocking junior high schools across Midwest America. We completely understand if you need a minute for the tears to stop. Konami actually makes more money from their casino games than they do from video games, and they think mobile games represent the only profitable future in the latter department.

Three Pyramid Heads nets you 50,000 points and your grandma’s head on a pike.

OK, so it’s a cold yet rational business decision. Disappointing, but understandable. But, wait a second — Metal Gear Solid V, a game that was anticipated as much as Silent Hills, made more money in its opening weekend than Jurassic World and Avengers: Age Of Ultron. Combined. It’s a massive hit, leaving Konami’s logic inscrutable. Between deciding they don’t like making games anymore, cutting ties with long-time collaborator Kojima, and making Del Toro say that he’ll never work on a video game again, it’s like Konami’s having a midlife crisis where they quit their job, divorce their spouse, alienate their friends, and hit the open road on a brand-new type of motorcycle that runs solely on spite.

Ready to see the kind of shit we got instead? Then check out Seanbaby’s The 20 Worst NES Games Of All-Time and The 6 Worst Games Ever Farted Out By Beloved Franchises.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/05/01/5-awesome-game-sequels-that-were-screwed-over-canned/