#BUT NOW MY PATIENCE IS GONE

[txmxkis]

i have never been so impatient to get home from work

[favoure]

a lifetime of indentured servitude

used this frame from the mv of "femme fatale" by kedarui as ref for this piece ! just thought that it fit them perfectly orz

[deoidesign]

Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!

Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!

Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.

I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!

[waywardstation]

Choo-choo! We've almost reached the likes goal on the reblog game!

Please be mindful of future likes for this game!

Now then get ready for departure soon! All Aboard!

For this post

Thank you everyone so, so, so, SOOOO MUCH!!! I set an incredibly difficult goal for this honestly, and yet you all helped it be reached!! I appreciate it so much, thank you!!

Unfortunately however, the next part is not finished yet. I was planning to have it finished and ready weeks ago, but I became severely sick and have been unable to finish it to have it ready for this wonderful moment :( I’m so sorry. And I am still pretty bad off, and I’m unsure how much longer it’ll be like this for me.

But!! It was still pretty far along when I had to stop. A lot of it is done. And I have tried to make it up to everyone by making the part extra long. And it is becoming more lighthearted and about comfort now, the next choice to make falls into that ^^

ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE!! It means a lot to me to see that people are actually commenting on the comic and celebrating that it has reached its goal. It means a lot to see that people care!! I am so excited to get the next part out to you guys and to continue on this once again!! ^^ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[ask-moon-and-pebbs]

hello, moon! where’s Ruffles?

PS: I'm glad the alt text is helpful!

[thefirstknife]

The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

[welcometogrouchland]

I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)

[esotericdivinity]

I don't like to post political shit but I am going to fucking say this:

I hope anyone who voted for Trump dies the most horrific death conceivable.

Actually.

I've been homeless with my family for fucking 3, almost 4, months. Trump just shut down the fucking funding that was going to help my mom buy a house. A house for my mom, who's been almost killed 5 times because of domestic violence, who's disabled because of it. My mom, who was going to be the first homebuyer in her family. My mom, who has fought her entire fucking life despite the odds. My mom, who deserved the safety after 10 years of running.

They just took stability, safety, and a fucking HOUSE from my family. They just took it from a 9 year old fighting depression he shouldn't have to, an 18 year old who fights for his family every fucking day, and from my MOTHER who has been beating odds at every goddamn turn in this STUPID ROAD. We have poured thousands of dollars into this house. We were supposed to close on Thursday. And now the money has been paused. They killed our loan and now we have to wait until "further instruction from the president".

Anyone who voted for Trump, I hope you die. I genuinely truly do. Fucking choke. Get cholera and DIE.

[napping-sapphic]

I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if i’m being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[coldjustness]

Think I'm going to work on my rules and do some inbox thing now that TUMBLR WILL LET ME INTO MY INBOX WITHOUT GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK!

[birbwell]

id like to know why im getting flashbanged by my replies on desktop and how i can change that

[dawnthefluffyduck]

I was going to make a drawing for this but I just can't bring myself to do one right now. So instead, here's an old drawing of mine (early 2021) of my dog, Moses.

I know I've been gone a while, and this hasn't been the whole reason why, but it's been a large part. About two weeks ago, my dog suddenly started showing signs of vestibular disease. Where most dogs recover, Moses just kept getting worse overall. Once he stopped eating, we knew it was time to let him go. He's been around for so much of our lives, and while I'm heartbroken that he's gone now, I'm glad we could give him a happy life for as long as we could

Thanks for the cuddles, little guy 🐕🐾

[hakuaryouga]

- Why was Ryouga the only one immune to the Trinoid's attack? - Ryo-chan doesn't hate anyone or anything!

[thoughtfulfangirling]

I don't know too much about the horrors Shelley Duvall underwent during the making of The Shining, but I've heard just enough to know that it was at the very least unethical. And sure we can marvel at her performance of fear and horror. It was impressive.

But it also manages, to people who are me, to fall flat in its lack of dimension.

People suffering the sort of torment Wendy are under are not only experiencing fear, confusion, and horror. They're also angry and vindictive and vengeful at times.

What if they'd let her fully act the fear so that she could have pulled back and displayed a glimmer of satisfaction when she hit Jack with the bat, a sense of the hilarious/humor as he went head over heels down the stairs? What I wouldn't have given for a sense of rage and fury as she dragged him through the halls of the hotel to lock him in the pantry. A woman dealing with the shit that she's been under would probably have a moment of sadistic satisfaction when he cries out that she may have really hurt him, he's dizzy, and now he wants that doctor she'd mention.

Sure those may be things that at the time might not have gotten written into a script because maybe at that time, women weren't like that(tm). But that's exactly why Duvall should have been left the choice to act with all her wits about her. Actors bring small nuanced moments like that to roles all the time because they are the ones trying to fit their minds into it wholly and completely and without consultation of any of the other characters around them. And they can bring insights into that role that others may not have thought to.

Think Furiosa re her scream in the desert. That was Theron's idea. And when asked where she found that rage—a question that maybe, in a different world, Duvall might have been able to make the space for—she responded that women just have that rage. A good actress will find it and put it where it's needed to go, in places her male coworkers might not think to put that.

Sure I don't think there was any performing better than she did during the bathroom scene, but almost everywhere else, I just got so tired of the constant fear/sadness of the performance, which I believe is exactly what was aimed at by the creators for the film. It was exhausting not in a way that makes me feel Wendy's exhaustion, but made her a caricature that she didn't deserve being.

There's nothing wrong with someone in her situation feeling mostly fear and terror, but it's absurd to think it's just that.

Fuck. Where was the disassociation? We got it maybe for the moment she sliced Jack's hand?

I dunno. I'm sure many people have spoken on this much better than me before and probably having seen it more than one (1) single time and have better, more sophisticated thoughts. It was a good movie. I don't recall anyone putting Jack through shit to get his performance and he did a great job, with lots of various emotions throughout. Let actors do their job.

[luvrodite]

i think we should give girls who get grumpy with you because they miss you more of a voice. you know what. they're valid.