#BUT IF SO THEN MY DUMBASS IS SO IN LOVE WITH IT I'M GOING INSANE AGAIN /POS

[dragonflyxem]

Heyyyy so I just finished binging Supernatural and um

WHAT THE FUCK

[allpromarlo]

i don't even know what to say about this episode

[derangedthots]

feeling some type of way about user simpofnegan's new cowboy jacemond fic in the tags and by some type of way i mean desperately trying not to scream in my dorm room @ 2am and wake my roommate

[thedarkzyxabyss]

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP GOING ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC, GOING FERAL OSGJIOSJIOGSJIOSG

WR-N YOU DREW HIM SO WELL I AM ACTUALLY LOSING MY MINDDDDDDDD /POS /FERAL

Battling artblock with TV,,,, I love him so much,,,,, ough,,,

TV by @darkxsoulzyx

[littlelamy]

𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒾𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑒

author's note: mentions of reader saying she's going on a diet; s4rafe coded. wanted to take a break from posting about burlesque!reader so enjoy! i'm hoping to have one or two more fully edited of rafe and sarah before christmas but i am visiting my family sooo...

rafe’s knuckles went white around the fork as he stabbed at the eggs on his plate. the clink of metal against porcelain made your stomach twist, though you ignored it, focusing on the glass of water in front of you.

"what the hell did you just say?" he asked, his voice sharp enough to slice through the quiet morning.

you hesitated, fingers playing with the hem of your oversized sweatshirt. "i’m going on a diet. i just… i feel like i need to lose a few pounds."

his jaw clenched, the fork stilling midair as he turned his full attention to you. his blue eyes darkened, a mixture of disbelief and frustration clouding them. "are you fucking serious right now?"

"it’s not a big deal—"

"bullshit, it’s not a big deal," he snapped, the fork clattering onto the plate as he stood abruptly. "you think i’m just gonna sit here and let you starve yourself over some dumbass idea you have in your head? hell no."

your stomach tightened as his tone softened slightly but remained firm. "rafe, it’s my body—"

"it’s your body that i fucking love," he interrupted, his hands gripping the edge of the table as he leaned closer, blue eyes locking with yours. "you don’t need to lose anything, y/n. you’re fucking perfect."

before you could respond, he grabbed a plate and started piling it with food—eggs, toast, fruit, and even a slice of bacon. setting it down in front of you with a deliberate thud, he crossed his arms and glared.

"eat."

"rafe—"

"eat the damn food," he insisted, his voice dropping to something dangerously close to a plea. "don’t fucking do this to yourself. you’re perfect the way you are. fuck, y/n, i mean it."

you blinked back the sting in your eyes, his words cutting deeper than you expected.

"please," he added, his jaw clenching like the vulnerability was physically painful.

silently, you picked up the fork and took a bite, avoiding his intense gaze. his shoulders relaxed slightly as he sat back down.

but just as you swallowed, he was suddenly out of his chair again, crouching beside you. his hands gripped your waist, dragging you closer until you were perched on the edge of your chair.

"you know you’re fucking insane, right?" he muttered, his voice low but filled with that same sharp-edged frustration. his lips brushed over yours briefly—just a peck.

you barely had time to process it before he leaned back in, this time slower, pressing his lips against yours with more intent. your breath hitched as his hands tightened on your hips, pulling you closer until there was no space between you.

his tongue slid against yours, the kiss messy and heated, and when he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, a thin string of spit connected your lips.

"see?" he murmured, smirking as he swiped a thumb across your bottom lip. "that’s how much i fucking love you. don’t ever pull that diet bullshit on me again, alright?"

you nodded, dazed, your cheeks flushed as he leaned in to kiss you again.

"good," he muttered against your lips, his tone softening but still firm. "now finish your plate. we’re getting ice cream later."

taglist: @namelesslosers @maybanksangel @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog credits: @dollywons for the png!

[saeun]

he's married ?! nanami kento.

sum. he's easily the top most handsome guy within his job. his relationship status is unknown, so what happens when his co-workers ship him with a female worker?

nanami is well known within his company. tall, insanely fit, and an attractive voice. it's not uncommon for men and women alike to find themselves thinking about him often. what's not common is knowing about his love life. no one knows anything and he would've kept it that way. but when push comes to shove, and you're shipped with someone who's not your beloved, nanami will make it known that he's not only taken but married.

in the coffee-break room there are three guys. now, there's nothing unusual about this — no, no. they're just three guys that are co-workers... except there's a twist. they aren't your regular co-workers, they're your uncommon trio of male gossipers and nanami just so happened to be their newest victim.

"shh, shh! he's here," guy one, tichi, whispers to the others, raising his eyebrows and pointing his chin to nanami's position.

the other two take a quick glance, nodding their heads when they've seen nanami's back faced towards them. it's a perfect moment to strike up a conversation, especially since it's just four men here.

guy two, tacho, shuffles his feet to the empty space near nanami. he pretends to open a sugar packet, fiddling with it as his eyes peep over nanami's shoulder. his heart skips multiple beats when the man himself turns around.

"morning to you, tacho," nanami greets, nodding his head before he turns his attention back to his cup of coffee.

"y-yeah, morning!" he stutters, awkwardly smiling in return. he turns his head to the other two in the background, mouthing the word 'help' to them. unfortunately, they do not give the aid to their friend. instead, tichi fakes a series of coughs and guy three, toeny, gives him a confident double thumbs up. there's no hope, tacho sighs.

it's a silent moment between the men — only the sounds of coffee brewing and a spoon coming into contact with the mug can be heard. tacho's mouth itches him, he happened to remember his group's recent conversation about nanami. he must ask — even if it costs him a mutual co-worker.

"so, nanami," he begins, waiting for nanami to give him the undivided attention.

nanami doesn't face him, but he hums in response. tacho doesn't mind this as an answer, so he continues, "i was wondering if the rumors of you being with the new worker, yeri, are true?"

there is one big lie in that question: there are no such rumors. it's just a theory the trio has been gossiping about every night. nanami's been helping out yeri for quite some time, one can only think that they have a special connection going on.

"that is bullshit," nanami gives a firm answer. nothing more, nothing less.

tacho's stunned, he blinks a few times to recollect himself. "oh — so you're not with her?"

nanami doesn't answer yet, but the two in the back give their unwanted reactions. tichi clicks his tongue three times, shaking his head in disappointment at tacho's second question. it's obvious dumbass, he thinks. toeny, on the other hand, presses his lips in a thin line, pretending to read a magazine that's been on the counter.

nanami reaches into his pocket, whipping out his phone. the trio's confused until nanami speaks.

"i am married man. this is my wife," he educates, pressing the power button to show you as his lockscreen.

he collects three gasps, internally nodding at their shock. that's right, i'm gladly taken.

"all this time you've been... MARRIED?!" tacho's voice heightens, he drops his spoon in shock. it's unbelievable yet somewhat believable.

nanami breathes out a 'yes', raising his arm to show the wristwatch. "she bought this for our five-years anniversary recently. it's quite expensive, going over four-thousand," he brags, emphasizing on key words.

he's been waiting for the precious day where someone indirectly asks for his relationship status. the day has come and he will spend it bragging about his beloved.

nanami doesn't give them a chance to speak, he carries on with his bragging, "she's a very lovely woman. all my bentos are made by her and she writes little notes for each. some may think it's childish but that's bullshit! they just haven't experienced the love of a woman. matter of fact, her most beautiful moments are when she's freshly awake. the smile she gives me is nothing but angelic."

his speech doesn't stop there, but it did for the trio. his words went in one ear and out the next. nanami's blabbering about his wife immediately set a blank face upon tichi, tacho, and toeny. they're jealous and also surprised.

"the way a woman can change a man will never not be amazing," toeny whispers, blankly gazing at nanami's ongoing speech.

[yougavememyopia]

Tags: Manipulative masochistic yandere, mean annoyed reader, stalking, yandere behavior, isolating, cursing, hair pulling, choking, he does a lot of stuff without consent.

--------♧-------------◇♥︎◇------------♧--------

"Hellooo~? There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been? Don't tell me you're avoiding me..." Your stalker whined in that annoying tone, making you roll your eyes almost instinctively. "Because I'll be really, really sad."

You shifted on the grass you were sitting on, debating on whether to stay or flee. It didn't matter. He would follow you around until you gave in and talked to him.

He sat beside you, too close for comfort. You finally looked at him as he made a small whimpering noise. You knew that indicated him crying crocodile tears if you continued your negligence. "You're driving me insane with your bullshit."

"Aww, are you getting tired of little ol' me?" He smirked. He knew you hated when he acted all cocky, so he decided to pout instead. Looking up at you with a soft, innocent look. "But... but I've done so much for your attention. Look, I even wore this pretty sweater for you."

"I don't give a shit. It's not going to change my view of you. You're a fucking nutcase. It doesn't matter what you do, I'm still gonna reject you."

His face fell. A blank look on his face. It was always scary when he showed no emotion. Like you were getting a glimpse of his true self. You shifted your gaze away, unable to control the shivers you got. Were you too harsh? He always acted so fake. You could never tell what he actually thought.

"You say that, but you'll miss me. I'm the most interesting person around!" His cute smile returned. He clasped his hands together and brought it up to his cheek. "You won't admit it because of your big ego. But I know. Under your cold exterior, there's a softie."

"If I want you around, it's not because of that. It's because of your psychological manipulation, dumbass. The love bombing? Ring a bell?"

"Ah, so you admit it! You do care about me! You want me around. I'm your favorite, right~?" He leaned his cheek into his hand. Batting his eyelashes at you to drive you more crazy. "Might as well go ahead and accept me. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. It's meant to be!"

"Ughhh, fuck!" You cursed, slapping your forhead. He did this often; twisting your words into something totally different. "Every single fucking day. It's the same thing. You and your delusions. You won't accept my rejections."

"Then we'd never be together." He commented. He furrowed his eyebrows to show confusion, putting his hands on his lap. "We've come so far already. And I know one day, we'll finally be together! Who knows, maybe today is the day."

His head tilted, and he smiled brightly at you. The gesture making your blood boil. He knew how to act right, to seem more attractive to you. His practiced smile and the quiet mumbled voice drew you in. The weirdly submissive side of him appealed to you. As if he was waiting for you to finally take control of him.

Despite all that, you couldn't look past the creepy things he has done. There were the "coincidental" meetings he admitted to being stalking, stating how he couldn't be apart from you for so long or how he was bored without you. The small souvenirs that he collected, like your hairclip, to put on his hair, or even the bigger items that he took, like your hoodie, to wear and show how he was yours. He tried to isolate you as much as he could. Sticking close to you wherever you went. Finding sneaky ways to get rid of other people around you. His unhealthy obsession was slowly ruining your life.

You've gotten used to it all. Not fazed if he did something stupid for your attention. He tricked you into going on dates with him so many times. You were practically dating. It was hard to admit it to yourself, but you had a soft spot for him. For some weird reason, you enjoyed his company. You enjoyed playing with him. He was entertaining. Interesting.

He suddenly crawled behind you, his hands grasping your shoulders. "You're so tense." He leaned in to your ear and whispered. "You've been on edge for a few days now. Do I really scare you that much?"

You scoffed. "What do you think?"

"Please, I'm harmless! I should help you relax. Treat you to a nice massage." He began to rub your shoulders and slowly moved closer to your neck. His hands worked skillfully to press against your tensed muscles. Drawing circles and kneading your flesh. "Maybe more physical intimacy will help. Something different, perhaps?"

He took advantage of your lack of fight and relaxed state. Throwing his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind. His face nuzzled against the crook of your neck as he inhaled and breathed out a sigh. "I love your smell. I gotta buy your perfume. Well, I have your clothes, so it's kinda the same thing. I never get tired of smelling you~"

"Seriously?" You mumbled. Your skin pickled from his warm breath. The feeling of him sniffing you with his nose brushing against your sensitive skin gave you small shivers. His grip on you grew tighter as you tried to move. His grasp on you almost suffocating. You kick the grass in exasperation. "Augh... Fuck you."

"Is that a promise~?" He giggled and rubbed his nose against your neck more deliberately. "I love the way you talk to me. Always so aggressive. So passionate~ You only act this way towards me. Like I'm special to you."

"Haah..." You clenched the grass beside you. Fingers poked with their pointy heads while you hold onto your anger. "You always do what you want. I never gave you permission to hug me."

"You need it. It'll calm you down. Take away all that stress. And! And.. I give the best hugs ever." He squeezed you tight against his chest. "But if that's not working, I can always try something else. Something that feels even better."

Before you could protest, he began to kiss your neck. Placing long, soft kisses against your skin. Finding the right spots that made you shudder. "Ah...! Hey-?!?"

You struggled against him, but he was determined. Weirdly strong for his short stature. His hands pulled your shirt lower so he could have more access. Kissing along your neck to your shoulder. His tongue joined in between the pecks. It brushed over your skin, coating everywhere with saliva. He lapped at your skin, drawing a line from the bottom of your neck all the way up. Goosebumps covered your body. Your cursing and protests still being ignored.

You reached a hand up to his hair, pulling it, trying to get him to stop. "You're crazy! Let me go."

"Nngh!" He moaned out. You couldn't win with him. Anything you did, he loved. Treating him like garbage or ignoring him completely. He was utterly devoted to you. "Oh, that felt good. Do it again. But harder. Pretty please~"

"Fucking masochist. How did I end up with someone so messed up?" You tugged his hair again, more firmer this time, making him moan louder. He started doing different things to your neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin. You couldn't control the small grunting noises from spilling. "I swear, if you leave a mark, I'll choke you to death-!"

He seemed to like the threat. His movements becoming frantic. He was definitely leaving a mark. Just to despite you. "Mmh~ Feels good..." His hands started to rub under your shirt. His nails digging into your skin.

He panted against your neck as you stopped. You rubbed his scalp instead, enjoying the feeling of his soft, well-cared hair between your fingers. He nuzzled against you, hugging you loosely. "Ahh... You didn't struggle as much as I thought. Did I change your mind? Do you believe me now when I say that I won't ever leave? Oh, that reminds me. I think it's about time I move in with you."

"What the fuck are you going on about?" You sighed in annoyance. His love was driving you insane. There was so much a person could take until they compromised with the weirdo who wouldn't leave them alone.

"Oh, come on! I've been waiting forever. I'm moving my stuff in first thing in the morning."

You pushed him away with force. Pinning his shoulders to the ground and climbing on top of him. "You're makin' me really angry. I don't want you around. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"

He chuckled, looking up at you. "I'm not giving up on us. Ever. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not. Plus, you've got nobody else to turn to, remember?"

"Ughh." Your hands close around his throat with force. "You act this way to provoke me. You enjoy this. Do you get off when I do these things to you? Hm? Is this what you want? I can't believe I actually fell for you. Good-for-nothing stalker."

He arched his back and closed his eyes, humming slightly. He was enjoying every second of this. You tightened your grip. The lack of oxygen making him squirm underneath you, but he knew you'd never kill him. His hands grabbed your knees. He just had to touch you in some way. Clingy as ever.

"I wanna do something that'll make you speechless for once. You're always doing unexpected things to me. Well, how about this?" You leaned down and kissed him. Pushing him further down and roughly shoving your tongue past his lips. Secretly, it was an excuse for you to be reminded of the sweet cherry taste in his mouth. You knew he did it on purpose to lure you in.

This wasn't your first kiss. He frequently planted small pecks on your cheeks and "accidentally" on your mouth. Though, after the second time, it was obvious he was doing it on purpose. While you kept protesting, you couldn't deny the spark you felt when your lips met. It felt good— unfortunately, it seemed like this batshit crazy guy was your only option left.

He groaned softly, relaxing and allowing you to do whatever you wanted with him. Kissing you back with passion and true devotion. He always emphasized how he was yours to use. You pulled away to look at the smirk on his face, your hands cupping his cheeks. Squishing them together. "Don't look so happy. This doesn't mean I'm accepting you. I just, sometimes, like using you. But you're not moving in."

"We'll see about that. I bet I can change your mind." He commented, leaning his cheek to your hands and chuckling. "I have a few compelling arguments. I can cook. I can clean. I can do anything you want me to. So, won't you please reconsider? Pretty please?"

Pt. 2

[astonmartinii]

i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others

yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you

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user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought

user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again

user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?

user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that

user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was

maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.

user169: what the fuck

maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)

user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older

maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen

user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything

fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock

user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"

fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both

user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one

user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie

user175: he's in the likes?

user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support

oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock

maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way

olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum

pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say

fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶

sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end

user177: still no charles ???

user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?

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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals

user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed

yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)

maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics

yourusername: i'm trying 🤞

maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?

yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested

maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong

yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card

charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM

this comment was liked by the author and @yourusername

this comment was deleted

user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello

user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up

user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him

user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport

oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max

maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well

oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules

maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER

oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME

maxverstappen1: she would NEVER

oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...

liked by @charles_leclerc

user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC

user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie

user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing

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carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, user190 and 308,994 others

carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.

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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user192: not the childhood dog too ???

user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating

user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole

maxverstappen1: get fucked

carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it

maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had

carlossainz55: she cost me my dream

maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS

carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood

maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport

user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry

user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two

user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP

charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you

this comment was deleted

charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are

this comment was deleted

user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?

user199: i bet it's ferrari

user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually

user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE

yourusername: old habits die screaming

carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway

yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low

user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre

georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others

charles_leclerc: lets go racing.

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user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement

user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post

user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE

user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef

liked by @yourusername

maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience

maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters

oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force

olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN

user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?

olliebearman: whoops

user210: ollie coming for kid of the year

olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear

user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?

maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals

user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE

user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n

user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment

carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much

maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad

oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?

maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour

user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^

user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free

user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year

user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 934,520 others

yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart

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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?

user224: it's finished?

user225: that's what the spanish media are saying

user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?

maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you

user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?

yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?

yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent

yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(

oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?

oscarpiastri: maybe i did

yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants

olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x

yourusername: i'm glad

olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?

this comment was deleted

maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?

user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?

user227: please tell me he's been been in good care

yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞

user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post

user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up

user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?

user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(

user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference

user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)

user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous

fin.

note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx

extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[schrodingers-most-anoyingsubject]

he always say good the stuff i can't say, thanks for talking for us

It's getting really fucking hard to have sympathy for Americans.

I do have a few American friends who are deeply upset with what's happening in their own country, and I'm really trying to keep supporting them and bring them comfort.

But it's hard to have any sort of kindness to spare for a country that doomed itself and made sure to bring down the entire world along with it.

The majority of America voted for a man that is very obviously a rotten prick, to the point where he was considered more of a fucking clown than a politician. And he wasn't even trying to hide it!! They just all chose to stay blind and ignore the very fucking big problem displayed right in front of their eyes!!

Because America is cultivating the most disgusting kind of mock of a culture, based on ignorance, denial and stupidity, the whole thing sealed with a good lethal dose of decomplexed colonialism.

If only the impact of their own dumb decisions stopped at their frontier, the rest of the world wouldn't be holding its breath waiting to be fucked over and bent backwards, but of course, America had to make itself the most influent and dominating power by spending years manipulating, repressing, taxing, claiming ressources, and spreading lies in every single other country, while proving itself to be incapable of being trusted with impactful decisions.

And when said countries tried to warn your stupid American asses that it was going to end up badly, for all of us? No one even fucking listened!! You all kept looking at your own feet while running straight into a fucking wall that everyone warned you was there.

All of motherfucking Europe currently has to watch your dumbass country repeat our history that you were supposed to learn about and not repeat, and we all know, you included, that you're going to fall to your own doom. But somehow you also had to make it our problem by being an absolute asshole of a capitalistic machine.

And we're supposed to stay open-minded! To think about the oppressed people in your country and how to set them free without making them abandon their country, like it's our business, like we're not all convinced that your country is an absolute disgrace to mankind and that anyone with common sense would rather throw up than set a foot in there!

So yeah, I'm angry, and this is unfair, but what about the countless nazi parties, terrorists and general troublemakers that your country has financed all over the world to disrupt peace in hope of claiming more territories and control and power? Yeah, this is not fair either. So I think I deserve to throw a tantrum, for once, instead of crying for your helpless scatterbrained idiotic asses in silence.

Everything about the USA is wrong on so many levels that I'll give myself a headache before I can name every single thing I hate about this country.

All I will say is that I'm trying - we're all trying - to be nice, and empathetic, and patient, and understanding. But it isn't easy. It keeps getting harder, in fact, because no matter how indulgent and gentle we are with your mistakes and fuck ups, you somehow seem to always find a way to do worse the next time, and we're starting to lose hope on the fact that you'll one day wake up and stop this madness.

[thelov3lybookworm]

I'm yours.

Summary: Upsetting interviews, but a few kisses and words can fix everything.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 2176

Warnings: none me thinks 😋

A/n: teehee i love this 🤭🥹

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

rhysand-thegreat

liked by nestassworld-obvi, nesta_archeron26, feyre-archer-on and 551,026 others

rhysand-thegreat Didn't wanna leave the bed, but she is heartless 😔💔(jk she only saved me from a scolding from my manager 🥲) At least I could get some reps in with her 😏

view all comments

rhysandsworld-obvi Rhys that sounds so 18+ wtf 😭

rhysand-thegreat 😏😉

imjustagirl1995 i could only wish to have a man who looks that good in a shirt 🤤

getsunghoonedloser broooo i hate it when people ship him with anyone but Y/n like LOOK AT HOW IN LOVE HE IS HOW CAN ANYONE NOT SEE IT GOSH🙄 you keep ur head high Y/n and ignore those dumbasses 🥹

rhysandsworld-obvi ❣️❣️❣️

mor-theoneinred i actually just realised Y/n and Cassian have similar users. what is up with that? 🤨

nestassworld-obvi are you jealous she is my bestie and not yours? 😏

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Being married to the love of her life was the best thing in the world, sure, and there was nothing Y/n would change.

Except his profession, of course.

It was not that Y/n wanted Rhysand to stop acting. She was proud of his talent. But watching everyone say how good he looked with his fellow actresses got on Y/n’s nerves sometimes.

Not always, but on her bad days, she wished she could keep her husband away.

The day had started off pretty normal. She had woken up, walked downstairs to find her husband eating dinner by himself. It was unusual but nothing out of the ordinary. Rhysand usually refused to eat unless she was eating with him, but on days he had an early interview or a long day scheduled, he was forced to.

She had seen him off, then set to cleaning up and showering. She hadn’t wanted to get dressed up as she wanted to be comfortable, so she pulled on her husband’s loose t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. She had spent the day doing mostly nothing, reading and scrolling on apps.

It was during her scrolling session that she came across a short video edit of her husband and his newest co-worker and also the one most shipped with him, Clair Smith.

Their recent movie had skyrocketed in fame after the insane chemistry between the two, and while Y/n rarely ever got jealous of actresses her husband worked with, the tension between them made even her wonder if there was something going on.

She never doubted his love, of course, but the way Clair looked at him made her blood boil.

After watching the edit for a minute, she sighed and exited the app, deciding to watch some long videos to calm down. Settling more comfortably on the plush couch, Y/n looked to her side and reached out to grab the soft grey velvet throw lying on the back of the couch, draping it around herself before leaning back into the armrest.

She scrolled for a moment, trying to find a video to keep her entertained until her husband returned. It was mostly book reviews, food recipes, podcasts and interviews her husband did. That was all that filled her feed usually.

But then a video caught her eye.

It was an interview Rhysand had talked about weeks ago, the lie detector test with him and his love interest in the movie.

Y/n stared at it for a moment, knowing she should scroll away and watch something that would shift her mind away from everyone who thought Clair was better suited to be with her husband. She told herself she could always watch it tomorrow, when her mind was more at peace. When she wasn’t feeling down.

But she also wanted to watch it, and she wanted to watch it now.

Whatever.

She clicked on the video, pulling the throw tighter around herself. The sun was beginning to go down, casting long fingers of gold and orange clawing at the walls. Almost like her own conscious screaming at her to not watch the video.

Rhys wore the red shirt Y/n always insisted he looked the best in. She could remember the morning he had gone for this particular interview. He had snuggled closer to her in bed, groaning and whining like a baby about how he didn’t want to go, that he was too comfortable and wanted to sleep more.

She had poked his side, then kissed his nose and told him he needed to wake up, or his manager would kill him.

As the video began, only two chairs were in the frame. They were set too close together for Y/n’s comfort, but she watched on as Clair walked in and Rhys followed. Clair settled down, smiling at the interviewer, but Rhys grabbed the arms of the chair and moved it a bit away from Clair’s. She looked up at Rhys, lips parted midway through her sentence, then she turned away again, any and all confusion wiped from her face. Rhys only sat down once there was enough space between the two, then turned to the interviewer too.

Y/n felt her lips quirking at the corners at the gesture alone as the interview progressed. It all went well, with questions about working on set and the movie’s plot, the hardships and characters. But then the interviewer decided to question them on their personal lives.

"So, what are your plans for the future with Clair? Fans- and even me- are very interested to see how you two progress." The woman laughed, smirking lightly as Clair giggled and looked towards Rhysand.

Y/n paused the video, feeling her blood boil in her veins, and exited the video, pausing to read some comments, as one would do. Most of them were about Rhys and his co-star’s chemistry, how they went so well together and fans wishing they were together. But quite a few also added timestamps of the question Y/n had stopped at, writing in all caps and bold letters about how Rhys looked so in love when talking about ‘her’, that Y/n assumed it was Clair.

It irked her more than it should have. But maybe it was just a bad day.

She was used to these things, but no one went so far as to wish Rhys was together with his co-stars.

"Honey! I’m home."

Y/n jumped, realising the living room was completely dark, the sun having gone down. She cursed under her breath as she hurried to stand, pausing for a moment to let her legs get accustomed to the sudden movement before walking out to greet her husband.

"Hey." She mumbled, tugging the throw tighter around her as she watched him bend down to unlace his shoes.

He smiled at her, lifting his head. "How was your day, darling?"

Y/n shrugged. "Good, I guess. What about you?"

He sighed, groaning as he straightened. "It was good, but I am so tired. I had three interviews today."

Y/n tried to smile, her mind still stuck on the way Clair had stared at him. He didn’t seem to notice the grimace on her face as he went into the kitchen, turning on the lights as he went.

"Oh?" She mumbled.

He nodded. "They kept talking. Then there were technical difficulties at the second interview, so we were running late for the third one."

Y/n hummed along, hearing but not listening. But she had lost all capacity to hear anything except the same words repeated in her ear spoken by the interviewer.

What are your plans with Clair?

Y/n blinked when she felt a touch on her arm, watching as Rhys’s fingers cleared into her view.

"Darling? You okay?"

Y/n inhaled, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes. "Yeah, of course. What were you saying?"

He looked unconvinced, and Y/n cursed herself. Even she herself heard the uncertainty in her voice.

But for her benefit, he kept speaking. "Did you watch the interview that came out this morning?"

His voice had a note of excitement in it, like a child who couldn’t control his urge to show off his new favourite toy.

It annoyed Y/n.

"Yes." She snapped.

His smile faded, brows furrowing. "Okay, you need to tell me what’s wrong right now. Did something happen?"

Y/n huffed, feeling guilty for yelling at him.

"It- it’s nothing, just a bad mood. I’m sorry."

She felt him move in closer, his steps silent as he reached out to hold both her arms and tugged her closer. Y/n peered up at him, her cheeks turning red.

"Tell me, love. Did someone say something?"

She sighed. "I just- I’m tired of watching everyone act like you aren’t married." Confusion took over his eyes, but he said nothing. Instead, he effortlessly lifted her onto the kitchen counter before slotting himself between her legs, his full attention on her. "I was scrolling, and I kept seeing so many edits of you and… and her."

He cocked his head. "Clair?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. And then I watched the interview, and everyone kept insisting they wished you two were together. Even the interviewer seemed intent on it."

She played with the buttons on his shirt as she spoke. She could practically feel his slight smile as he opened his mouth to speak, making her pout.

"Love, you know I only love you."

She glared at him. "You better, or I will kill you."

He smirked. "Kinky, but I like it."

She shoved his shoulder. "I’m not joking. I will kill you."

He leaned in, his smirk unwavering. "Neither am I, sweetheart."

She gave him a look. "I’m concerned for you."

He shrugged. "I find anything you do attractive, sweetheart. You shouldn’t be surprised anymore, I think."

Y/n grabbed his collar, staring deep into his eyes even as blood rushed to her neck. "You’re mine."

Rhys tightened his grip on her waist, placing a soft kiss to her neck. "I am yours."

She hummed, snuggling into the junction between his shoulder and neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, my love." He paused. "Did you watch the full interview?"

Immediately, her mood soured again. "No. I saw someone talking about the question about your future plans with her, and I closed it."

He pulled away and took his phone out of his pocket, tapping away without a word before placing the device in her hand. "Watch."

Y/n did not want to, but she remained quiet, taking his hand in hers.

"So, what are your plans for the future with Clair? Fans- and even me- are very interested to see how you two progress."

Rhys’s smile vanished, replaced by a cold look. "What do you mean by that? Why would I have any plans with her?"

The interviewer looked like she knew she had messed up. "I was just asking what the fans were curious about…"

Rhys raised a brow, turning to stare directly into the camera. "It is very well known that I am married and in love with my wife," his eyes softened at the mention of Y/n, making her belly flutter. "I have no plans for the future with anyone except her. I’d be extremely happy if everyone stopped acting like she doesn’t exist and wishing I was dating someone else, no matter how much onscreen chemistry we share."

Y/n realised the comments talking about how in love he looked were not about Rhys talking about Clair, but her.

Oh.

Oh.

"Forgive me for asking-"

"That’s fine, but remember it the next time before implying I have anything but acquaintance relations with my co-stars."

The woman nodded, and Y/n watched as Clair looked away from Rhys.

It was clear to anyone that she probably had a slight crush on him, and Y/n couldn’t blame her. He was just that charming and loveable, it was hard not to like him. She glanced up at him, pausing the video. Guilt festered in her chest once more, and he smiled.

"I’m sorry Rhysie-"

He lifted his hand to her jaw, pulling her face down to place a kiss to her forehead. "None of that. I know it can get hard sometimes, considering how the fans insist I am in a relationship outside of you, but you know I would never do that to you."

He let silence settle in for a moment, then- "I was going to ask you to come with me to the red carpets next week. You will come with me, right? I wanna show everyone what they see on screen is nothing compared to what real love looks like."

She nodded, giggling. "I love you."

"I love you too, darling."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

rhysandsworld-obvi

rhysandsworld-obvi was havin a bad day, then he came home and we got takeout to rot in bed 😋

rhysand-thegreat all my favourite things in one post😍

rhysandsworld-obvi ur so dramatic 🤭🥹

rhysand-thegreat only for you😏😉

getsunghoonedloser the only reason i still use this damn app is to see their posts and comments thirsting over each other lol

thebiggestpookiee loll same 🥹😂

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[mari-lair]

Let's talk about after-school chapter 28!

I had assumed this interaction was what made Teru, our king of pettiness, go "You know what? I think I won't exorcise your evil spirit problem. Perish."

But?? Akane already had stiff shoulders at the start of their talk?? And Akane waited until it was near the end of their student council time to brag about his 'date' with Aoi.

Meaning Teru just let Akane carry the embodiment of stress and hatred on his back during their entire student council time??

I can't fathom why? This was not an 'I trust Akane to handle it' case, not when Teru was the one who enchanted his glasses so he know better than anyone how vulnerable to supernatural Akane becomes with it, and telling myself Teru needed to wait for the supernatural to feed on Akane to grow when this guy is a pro exorcist also feels like an excuse.

Maybeeee Teru was morbidly curious as to how Akane would fight the feeling?

Speculations on the insane decision to let Akane be haunted aside, their conversation is a trainwreck, shout out to how Teru instinct upon hearing Akane got a date is that his buddy is hallucinating.

I get his skepticism tho, pre-severance Akane you are... A lot.

"I love the part of her that invites me to go shopping" Akane, my dear, you need help. I know you're being honest but please find a less awkward way to be a lovesick fool. (---> I say, knowing full well he'll need to go through a traumatic feelies talkies section in Death's house first)

"cya!" is just cute to me. Look at this smug ill-informed dumbass.

"Hey, the flowers behind aoi are different this time," I think in surprise, even tho realistically Akane must associate Aoi with the entire garden at this point.

And here comes the professional thrid well, the prince himself! His mere presence means Teru actually fell for Akane calling the shopping trip a date though, he gives Akane too much credit.

Teru knowing Akane well enough to translate his stammers of a pathetic creature into "Why are you here?" is beautiful, bro is better at his side gig (pester akane) than his main job (be an exorcist) today.

Aoi's "I know a liar when I see one. let's indulge him anyways" she truly is a kind soul.

Speaking of said liar, I love that Teru doesn't have a basket or shopping cart.

He isn't even trying to pretend he had plans to go shopping, what a guy.

Aoi getting excited over dirt and fertilizer, my girl <3

Shout out to Akane for being happy that Aoi is happy and to Teru for finally figuring out that he doesn't need to sabotage anything cause there is nothing to sabotage.

Teru: *speak*

Akane: and away goes my joy and whimsy.

Love Teru trying to bond with Aoi right after the realization this is a hangout. He wastes no time.

Aoi telling Teru the truth is sweet, I'm glad they are getting closer. Also happy to see Teru remains shameless.

Aoi gave him the driest look possible and Teru still put carrots on her basket. He even said "buy it" SO HE WOULD HAVE MADE HER PAY FOR THE CARROTS.

YES AOI REPRIMAND HIS ASS!

She really treats him like a dog! Is incredible. From her 'grrr' to the way she points a finger at him, it gives me "bad dog! Drop it!" energy.

Fascinated by the way Teru blushes. He seems to be more hung up on being called 'bad' than anything, but he definitively liked being reprimanded, he is still blushing when he walks instead of displaying the dejection of the convenience store.

He doesn't even give up on his quest to make her buy veggies.

Teru, you're doing horrible sweety, keep pestering her and you two will be inseparable in no time <3

Love how Akane snapped out of the curse's first attempt to make him spiral by refusing to be on the same level as Hanako.

He is so arrogant "What am i a loser? A pathetic toilet loser? Nah nah, I am better than that." like damn, okay bro.

I can't believe he pushed back against a curse by the sheer power of self-confidence and determination though, he is built differently. 90% of the characters in this manga cannot relate.

Love how Teru probably didn't suggest a single flower for Aoi to buy, trying to test if he could sneak even one vegetable into her basket, so his closeness to Aoi just made Akane's petunia suggestion look that much more thoughtful in comparison (she does look very happy to be given an actual flower).

Rest in peace Teru you suck at sabotaging.

(Or he would suck if that was the goal! He stuck around for this entire hangout despite how rare his free time is. He got his ice cream, he even walked Aoi home, he just want to hang out. Same vibe as when he went "Oh aoi come with me to the festival, Akane will be there")

I find Teru's zoned-out face so cute.

There is no speech bubble to Terukane's first panel here, but i am 95% sure Teru was the one who asked to be notified about Aoi's gardening progress considering the '...' contrasting Akane's enthusiasm. Love that for him, yes talk to Aoi, get close to this closed off girl.

And Akane didn't like that iuguyguygyui

Teru can always just take off his glasses like Akane never fights that. Good for you.

I am still not over Teru just letting him carry this curse.

But now I really doubt he did it specifically to torture Akane, cause Teru likes helping Akane as much as he enjoys annoying him.

I wonder if he is proud of Akane for not acting on any of the negative feelings he was being fed, cause Teru looks genuinely happy here! It's a far cry from his usual 'bullying you relax me' or 'i am petty' kind of smiles.

...I may be biased but I am throwing my "Teru didn't exorcise the monster for this long to have an excuse to be hanging out with the Aois while tecnically doing his job." idea here. We do get a heavy confirmation he could have done something before and wanted to third wheel after all.

Teru wants to turn this couple into a tricycle so bad. What a guy.

"I hope I didn't act weird" That's an insane thing to think considering how you act near Aoi on the daily bro, you're lucky she is too down bad to mind your madman tendencies.

Peak weirdo to weirdo pining hell.

Speaking of which, she sent him a message to show off the planted flowers! She went out of her way to make sure he saw it, Akane never asked her to update him.

LOOK AT THEEEEEEEEEEM

"Thanks for taking me out today!" says the one who invited him. And 'taking me out'? to the hardware store? I swear I wouldn't even be surprised if she mentally referred to their hang-out as a date too. I love you Aoi.

"As long as Ao-chan had fun, I am happy" l know and I love you.

ps: Their height difference still sparks joy. The smallest girl in the block, the tallest boy in the group, and the perfect middle ground.

[ramblinscramblin]

I know you only have one post rn but hsgagshagaghssgahsh I love how you write😭

Anyways, giving you a request since I'm already here :)

Reader who really likes Scout's whole clumsy way of flirting. He's like "I got a bucket of chicken" and the reader is just "😍😍😍😍". Or he stumbles over his words when flirting and thinks he's made a fool of himself, meanwhile the reader is basically swooning right next to him.

Bonus points if Spy is observing this all and is just like:

→Reader who enjoys Scouts awkward flirting!

Genre: Fluff!

Characters: Scout tehe

THANK U FOR THIS. This is incredibly real, he is so so so silly.

Scout

Scout took immediate interest in you.

He couldn’t place exactly what it was about you that just made you instantly attractive.

But it was because of his immediate interest that made him such a colossal disaster in front of you.

He just cannot stop, making a fool out of himself. Going to great and insane lengths to try and impress you, literally getting blown up on the battlefield to try and show you a cool jump he can do.

You find is so so endearing and funny, you always laugh at his silly attempts at impressing you.

He mistakes this as genuine malicious intent, thinks you’re making fun of him and feels like the world’s biggest idiot.

“Hey Scout,” you greet one day, feeling a little bold.

Scout straightens in an instant, now was his chance to put the moves on you, make or break time scout.

“Oh! H-hey. Yeah, wassup,” he says before sniffling “you wanna see my baseball cards?” He says abruptly, already mentally berating himself.

You chuckle a little, and he deflates feeling like human garbage. You bump his shoulder with your arm “sure. That sounds fun,” you say with a smile.

He immediately perks up, shows you his nerdy card collection for way too long. Worries the whole time that you think it’s dumb, really cannot tell if you’re making fun of him.

Spy really does not help his anxiety, makes fun of his attempts extremely outwardly, really confused on why you keep coming around…

After watching a few more of your interactions he is appalled to find out that you actually like him back.

Does not let Scout in on this realization.

Him watching you full send the most intense signals to Scout that you’re interested and it’s just soaring over his head causes him physical pain.

“Hey Scout, I was wondering if you wanted to show me your baseball card collection again?” You asked one day, Spy secretly watching from a nearby corner.

“You wanna see it again? I haven’t got anymore,” he says.

You shrug “oh? That’s a shame, I was looking forward to having you all to myself today,” you simper leaning into him.

He’s already told himself that you’re so not interested (plus he’s got a complex from how hard he was rejected from Pauling) so he hardly even flinches “oh well. Next time ‘den I’ll have sumthin’ new to show.”

Spy face palms, mumbling about how dumb he is as he sneaks away.

You find it really endearing though, total heart eyes over this dumbass.

Eventually when you finally stop torturing him and tell him how you feel he’s so flustered and surprised, like: you actually liked how much of an idiot I was? Cannot believe it.

Rubs it in Spies face so hard.

“Look at this hottie I bagged by bein’ a total dumbass. Hah! I win!” He proclaimed loudly.

No because I’m tweaking I love him so much. Anyways thank u so much for the request I took some creative liberties but obviously I had a lot of fun with this one haha!

[queenie-the-court-jester]

HII, saw your post on wanting asks, well here 🫶 I love talking so, and specifically on playboy yandere!! I'm a sucker for angst and yanderes falling into insanity honestly, so let me ramble a bit

- imagine if reader graduates highschool and gets an overseas scholarships!! They also convince their family to move together with them so Kameron can't hurt or use them to blackmail reader. So with only a break up text saying like "bye manwhore 😍😍", blocking and deleting all their social media, I wonder how long and how far would he take to get reader back again? Would he inherit his parent's riches, hire some private investigatiors to find reader and find the country they're living in, expand his business over to their country in order to gain power to trap his darling. And I wonder how deranged his reaction would be to reader's text and be like no way, they're joking right, and runs to their house and whatever usual spots they're at normally, and just break down into insanity. would he try to use substitutes for reader to maintain his sanity or go fully devoid of emotions and start working hard to gain power and influence to find reader again!! I'm also curious how he would process his darling leaving him, would he become delusional first, saying they got kidnapped or something, or some ex or fling of his hurt reader, and then proceed to anger, depression, grief and then finally accept the reality!!

Ok that's a lot of rambling 😭😭 hope it's okay. I rlly enjoyed that fic, was rent FREE in my mind for a whole day

you know luci, you just gave me an idea. So have a part TWO of THIS DUMBASS HOE 🤝

Yandere playboy x reader

Tw: mentions of murder, kameron being delulu, yandere and obsessive behavior

💋kameron was having another breakdown. Sobbing pathetically on the floor of your old bedroom. Just how did you run away? And on such short notice too!? Didn't his love mean anything to you!? WHY DID YOU ABANDON HIM?

💋a million thoughts swirled through his head, until he finally got one that just... stuck. He had to get you back. No matter how long it takes. Getting up and dusting himself off, he kicked the front door open and quickly left the empty house

💋it was a shame really. The once sane and popular boy was struggling to keep his image. So he got help. Not professional as in therapists and medication. Just hiring other students to cover for him Incase he slipped up. all while snooping through the head teachers computer to see if they had any notes on where you might have gone. He almost got caught a few times

"shit that was close.. i can't believe these idiots leave their passwords just anywhere"

💋he knew he shouldn't be back at the school, especially since he graduated but he needs all the information he can get. Eventually moving onto private investigators and online stalking through multiple other accounts. He'd try anything just to see what his darling was doing without him. Were you enjoying making him suffer? You're so cruel..

💋hiring other people to befriend you and lower your guard, gathering any Information they can

💋 kameron who spent a while convincing his parents to let him take hold of the company. He had a degree, a bright mind, responsibility. He's perfect for the job! Oh if only they knew where his 60% was going.. funding multiple businesses across the world in exchange for keeping a careful eye. Making him quite the celebrity

💋look darling! He's on the news-! ...oh right you're not here.. one evening, while working in his office, a new secretary comes in to introduce themselves. They look just like you! He could only stare in shock.

"my love..? Is that you!?"

"..who?"

💋turns out it was just a doppelganger. But with enough time he'd delude himself into thinking it was you. Courting them with the same flowers, chocolates and jewelry he'd given you. It worked like a charm! Now you were back In their arms again. They felt whole..

💋he married your lookalike a year later, the poor fool being too naive and oblivious to think. He was happy for awhile.. or until one of his P.I's came in to show him they found you. His reality started to break.

💋no.. how could he do this to you. Replacing you with some cheap street whore. That night, when they went to bed, he gave them a cup of water and smiled sweetly. Watching as their face went red and they started to cough for air after gulping it down. Clawing at the sheets and staring at him with wide fearful eyes. Begging him to help them

"...slut."

💋 burrying the body in his backyard, he paid people with underground connections to cover for him while he was away. Claiming they suddenly vanished, having run away with a small fortune. How idiotic are people, to actually believe him..

💋kameron disguised himself and went straight for the country you decided to flee too. 5 years apart from you.. he had no idea how he managed to live so long without his beloved, but it was all worth it. Because now you'll be back where you belong. In his arms.

💋you were busy working at your job, running a small business was no joke but atleast the people in the area were friendly. So you didn't notice the suited figure Infront of your cash register

"thank you, please come again-"

💋you froze, looking up at the terrifyingly familiar face. He stared back at you with only glee and love

"hello my darling~ you've been on a naughty streak for a while Haven't you? That's okay, I'll just set you straight when we go back home."

💋big burly men all blocked you from escaping by guarding the doors. Dragging all the other customers out so you both could have your moment. Now you could never leaver leave him. Ever.

[neiveel3llson]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 7

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: seven

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the REAL karate kid

good afternoon losers

and y/n <3

the imposter

hey

willybum

good afternoon you dumbass

and hello to you too y/n

the REAL karate kid

rude

how are you y/n?

the imposter

eh i'm doing fine i guess

stairway

is everything alright

the imposter

i got fired from work today 😔

lotte

what happened?

if you don't mind me asking

the imposter

so i told ya what i do for work yeah?

well i've worked for this company for the past

whole year as their main solo media manager

and then my boss found out that his good old

friend's son was looking for a job and he's also

a photographer and social media manager so he

decided to fire me and hire him instead to

keep his relationship strong with his old friend

the REAL karate kid

that really sucks

your boss sounds like a terrible person

the imposter

yeah he was a really difficult person

i am kinda glad tho ngl

i don't have to see his annoying face ever again

but back to job hunting again 😔

neev

if it makes you feel better

leah got head-shotted in the head

by lessi during training

the imposter

i really hope someone got proof of it

stairway

i gotcha

maya

HELP

lotte

got K.O-ed lol

willybum

this isn't funny

i got a full on concussion

i'll get you back russo

the REAL karate kid

not my fault you're a terrible defender 🤷‍♀️

willybum

EXCUSE ME?!

the imposter

dam

them calves 😮‍💨

has anyone ever asked you

to step on them?

neev

um y/n is there something you'd

like to share with the group ...

willybum

weirdly enough yeah

i have been asked that

elton

it was actually just y/n asking

on a secret account

the imposter

don't expose me like that 😩

meado

every time i open this group chat

i get deeply concerned for you all again

i don't even know who y/n is and i feel like

i should be concerned about her as well

the imposter

woah

meado

i thought we were getting along well 😔

stairway

well if meado is concerned then

i guess she's offering to pay for

our therapy so let's go gang

the imposter

also

why do guys always train and

play football together?

elton

oh you know

we just like to play football together at times

stairway

yeah

it's fun

the imposter

okay ....

who am i to judge

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE LION KING SQUAD

russo

uh

so guys

i have done something

toone

oh no

that is never a good sign

le tissier

okay i'm intrigued

this is gonna be bad

wubben-moy

the fact that she's using the group chat

without y/n is not a good sign

stanway

is she about to introduce her new wife

to us or something? did you like run away

and get married in vegas or something?

charles

we literally saw her yesterday georgia

so if she had then that would be

insanely impressive

toone

is that why you weren't at training today?

greenwood

ella looked very lost today

it was worrying

russo

yeah

i ran away with y/n and we got married

toone

HUH

stanway

WHAT

charles

EXCUSE ME

russo

OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOTS

not yet anyway 😏

but back to the point

leah was also in on this

bright

oh like that's any better

williamson

excuse me??

wubben-moy

here we go

russo

okay

so

you know how y/n's looking for a job yeah?

well leah and i thought we'd put in a

good word for her in our media admin so

that you know .... maybe she can get

offered a job here and you know we can

actually meet her and get to know her irl ....

stanway

that is actually ....

the most decent idea i've heard from ya

charles

yeah fr

hemp

oh my god y'all are such simps

stanway

shut up

toone

i do wonder when y/n will find out about

who we are or if she ever will

charles

nah she's got to find out soon with

the euros starting next week?

williamson

i reckon we tell her after the euros

wubben-moy

well that shall be eventful

part eight here

[mcytegg]

Ash: I genuinely don't understand why you left Lala, and then left the Foundation like immediately. It can't just be because Minute killed you, that makes no sense.

Ro: I wasn't wanted.

posting the clip bc it genuinely makes me feel unwell but i also want to yap abt how insane ash and ro's entire convo makes me feel. like in this clip alone, the silence from them BOTH after ro says he wasn't wanted was so loud.

cause like earlier in the vod ro tells zam that although ash was one of his day 1 teammates, it was more against his will then not. like he felt like it was forced and more like ash's underling then his teammate. so him not actually feeling like he was part of the lala legion was obviously an issue that had roots from the very start, and these feelings only worsened and grew until eventually he ended up leaving the team AND the foundation (who only made his feelings of being unwanted and unvalued as Himself worse) to join the players, who actually seemed to genuinely want him on their side.

even AFTER he fucks up massively and ends up accidentally killing bacon w the arrow cannon instead of literally any of their enemies, they still want him there. despite their frustration and anger at him, he is still someone they want by their side. they don't kick him from the team or kill him like the foundation did the moment he fucked up, they accepted that he made a dumbass mistake as Their teammate and they dealt w the consequences of it and figured things out together.

bc he was more than just another person fighting by their side!! hes an idiot but he is THEIR idiot teammate roshambogames who they wanted to fight alongside them and thats what mattered most to him. feeling accepted and cared for by the people intent on ending the server in spite of his flaws and mistakes meant so much more to him then being w the people trying to protect it who only rly saw him as what he could Provide for them as a spare loyal member of the team.

and ro's convo w ash rly only confirmed to him that he was never valued as anything more than another teammate in the lala legion or the foundation bc ash Immediately disregards ro's words and calls it bs. and whats crazy is that ro was incredibly confident and sure of himself during their convo until ash started digging into him— calling him selfish and nothing but a violent person looking for an excuse to kill people and cause chaos. ash never seems to actually Listen to what ro has to say, he hears what he wants to hear, he berates ro yet begs for him to come back in the same breath. it was only after ash began doing this that ro began ro falter and lose some of his confidence, and its after ro begins to sound more uncertain that zam immediately gets clown to message ro to get out of there.

i assume it was zam bc clown was too busy hunting jumper to pay attention to ro's yaps w ash, and bacon nd zam were both watching it go down. and after rejoining the call, ro almost immediately gets his confidence back and all of the uncertainty he began to show bc of ash's words went away. they found jumper very shortly after ro rejoins which is also when zam and bacon start encouraging ro and boosting his confidence as well, making sure that he feels just as valued as clown is in this fight.

which is very 🥹🥹🥹 bc i'm growing attached to the players in general but it also feeds into my love for drastics too bc it rly does confirm to me that zam is probably the person (behind mapicc ofc) who makes ro feel most confident and comfortable w himself bc he understands ro better than most, and makes the effort to support him in the ways he needs to be supported so he feels seen and cared for.