#BUT I'D LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear any ideas for Simmons

[cheesecake-bich]

SAM TFA STYLE

Agent Simmons sheet

I got a new tablet and it's so yippie. Anyway Sam in the animated style.

Here are Sam's HC's for this stoopid au

Sam and William are related

Lennox doesn’t have a wife in this AU; [Sam fills the role of the 'child.' Lennox could possibly have custody of Sam. That’s why Sam is always with Lennox and not at home.]

Sam is a little airheaded. Stupid if you will. It's what gets him in dangerous situations. [However, he has that little sibling luck]

He may be lucky, (a little too lucky) That doesn't mean he doesn't get hurt. [He has a hidden scar under his shirt.]

Sam is knowledgeable about the existence of Aliens. (Probably shows interest in the languages.)

Tinkering/fixing up broken findings in Sect.7 [That they allow] is his favourite pastime.

However it's how he found out he's allergic to moondust. [Severely]

Sam isn't scared of a lot of things [go figure] but has a phobia of birds. Specifically crows, ravens, owls and woodpeckers. He ties them to his run-in with a dead body. [Prowl will help him overcome his phobia.]

He's also scared of hail and thunder. He doesn't enjoy overly noisy weather conditions. [Constant tapping on the window. Or sudden loud crashes. Specifically at night.]

He likes Ratchet [However, the medic just sees him as a smaller bumblebee. But an actual insect]

[major-comet]

The Music in RvB: Restoration Kinda Sucks. Here's how I'd fix it.

I gave this as a presentation the other night after my first re-watch of the finale, and it was a major hit so I thought I would share it with other people who think too hard about Halo fanfiction.

Red VS Blue has some truly fantastic music in it's 21 year history, and I think that the music here was pretty weak. Obviously this post has major spoilers for RvB19 / Restoration, so be warned.

So, under the Read More is a typed up and fleshed out version of my powerpoint presentation where I will dive in and not just bitch about the musical choices, but explain how I would fix things. This is...really long, but I hope you all enjoy my thoughts :)

This will be best enjoyed if you listen to the songs I'm talking about as a refresher. For your convenience, I have input links to the songs on Youtube when necessary

So what's the problem?

Since the development of the finale overlapped with Rooster Teeth getting shut down, it's very likely that they had minimal funds. (EDIT: Yes, the finale itself was done by the time the announcement rolled around. However, the decision was almost certainly already in the works at WB. RT was shut down in part for financial reasons. It’s all connected.) I personally think this was part of why Burnie/RT was/were [reportedly] so insistent on using stock music for part of the season rather than a whole soundtrack done by Trocadero - I'm not sure they had the money to properly compensate for a full soundtrack. And maybe it was just a stupid / dick move, and had nothing to do with money at all, but that's what I choose to believe if only because it makes me feel slightly better about it.

This means that besides the stock music, the new score by Carl Thiel, the Zero song for that cameo, and Waning Moon (the Barenaked Ladies song), all we have are four re-used songs from earlier RvB - these songs being the Trocadero Grifball theme, I Say Ooh and Round One by Jeff Williams, and Vale Deah by Trocadero. There's also a David Levy composition in there somewhere according to the credits, R U Ready, but I have no idea what it is or where it plays. It's bothering the hell out of me because it does not appear to be a reused piece as far as I can tell - at least not reused from RvB. If anyone has any leads on this please reach out, because it seems crazy that there's one random possibly original David composition mixed in there. I've checked Apple Music and Soundcloud, nothing by that name.

In this very Meta focused film, neither of The Meta's themes play in any shape or form - [When] Your Middle Name is Danger by Trocadero or Plagam Extremam Infligere by Jeff Williams.

Nor do any of the character themes, really. Most of the series' iconic recurring tracks are completely absent. Tex's various themes, Carolina's theme - hell not even Blood Gulch Blues or the iconic intro music.

Were there any highlights?

Of course there were!

Considering I was going into the finale having only been spoiled on Vale Deah, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Jeff tracks! That was totally unexpected, and really lovely.

Speaking of, I thought the use of Vale Deah was a really lovely touch. Fun fact: that song was used for the end credits of the Season 1 DVD, so it really felt like a sweet full circle moment.

I think that using a Barenaked Ladies song for that very sweet scene of Caboose, Grif, and Simmons reminiscing about Blood Gulch by the fire was a very lovely choice, and quite honestly it was my favorite scene in the whole thing. The BNL have been close to RvB and RT since damn near the beginning, and it was very nice to hear them attached to the finale in that small way.

I should also point out that the composer for the season is Carl Thiel - known for his work on Hot Fuzz and the second and third Spy Kids movies. I think he did a totally fine job. I liked the bugles that were under Sarge's death, but the rest doesn't really stand out much. Perfectly serviceable.

So, now that that's out of the way, let's break down those four returning songs a bit more - shall we?

Grifball Official Theme - Trocadero

This was a really funny choice. It's such a quick bit, but I respect Burnie's dedication to get in one last Grifball joke. Obviously, I would have preferred to hear a different song for something else, but this was totally harmless.

Vale Deah - Trocadero

Lo-fi Hip-hop beats to get divorced to.

God that scene was heartbreaking. I love this song a lot - I think a lot of Trocadero's strongest stuff is the stuff that just feels kind of melancholy. It's something Nico does really well, and I think Vale Deah is one of my favorite examples of that. Like I said above, I think this song was used really well - if I had to pick a different track for that same scene I would probably choose Half Life. While it was written during the Blood Gulch era, it wasn't really used in the show until Seasons 12 and 13 - notably, a version of it plays under Kimball's rally speech to the troops after Doyle's death. I just really like it, tbh. There's absolutely other songs that could work, but I think having it be a BGC-era track served the scene really well.

I Say Ooh - Jeff Williams

My feelings about this are pretty similar to Grifball. It was cute, it was nice to hear, but I wish they had used a different Jeff track somewhere else. Ultimately, it's pretty harmless. It is kind of an odd choice though - I'm pretty sure Jeff didn't write it for RvB. This was a song that he composed that was used in two RT Shorts (live action sketches that RT used to do). I think it would have been nicer to use one of his RvB tracks for the introduction of Niner - could have been a cute spot to use a track like I Am The Best or Forge World or hell, Come on Carolina would have been cute.

Round One - Jeff Williams

...Actually, I have a lot to say about Round One, so let's get everything else out of the way first.

Other Scenes that *should* have had returning tracks before I talk about Round One for a billion years

Sarge's death should have been scored with a version of Rally (Sarge's Speech). My vision is a version of it that's just the string section - familiar, but not enough to be distracting, and absolutely soul crushing if you do recognize it.

The scene with Wash and Dr. Grey in the hospital needed a hint of what Nico so lovingly calls the "Wash Trauma Theme" - which is closely related to the Trocadero Meta theme, fun fact. I think Limited Duty from the scene in Season 16 where Carolina tells Wash about the brain damage could have worked pretty well there.

The scene at the end with Wash and Carolina talking about Doc and the Freelancers really needed something. I think one of the variations of the Shisno trilogy Carwash theme could have worked very well.

Obviously the big scene with Tucker and Sigma on the ship would have really benefited from [When] Your Middle Name is Danger or one of the many themes that incorporates it, but I'd also throw Soul Clef XI into the ring! I think it's so interesting that the work around they came up with for not being able to get Elijah Wood back was to have epsilon!Sigma take on a more Felix-y type of voice. Partly because Felix was an incredibly ambitious villain so he fits it pretty well, but more importantly that was a very smart voice to pick to fuck with Tucker in particular! I think that was really smart, and I think having some version of Felix's theme playing during that scene would have been really cool.

Bolt by Trocadero was never used in the series proper. However it was used in this ten year retrospective that they released alongside Season 10. I highly recommend giving it a watch, because watching it now that it's Over - RvB, RT, all of it - it's honestly kind of heart breaking. They're all filled with this deep optimism about the future of the company, and hindsight is a bitch on this one. They use it in a really sweet sequence at the end where they're showing a bunch of old photos. Anyways I think this should have played in the credits after Vale Deah finished. "We only want to have a good time."

Miscellaneous Trocadero Songs I would have liked to see them find a place for that I haven't already / will not mention elsewhere

Steady Ride (Gunmetal Green) - this is THE Grimmons song ever to me. I love it so much. Also fun fact: as of the interview Burnie did with Nico on the season 10 (I think?) dvd/bluray, this was Burnie's favorite Trocadero track. And you can tell when you watch the DVD cuts of the first 6-ish seasons - it plays all the time.

I like Good Fight a lot, not sure there was a great spot for it? but still would have been nice - It's used a few times as a Wash theme, I believe.

No One is my favorite Trocadero song and I wish it could've been there Somewhere. It was the elevator-music type song that played behind Vic in BG once or twice, I think was in the season 4 credits, and also played during the weapons demonstrations in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle. I just like it a lot, lol.

Okay let's get back to Round One.

Why they shouldn't have used Round One for the big fight in RvB Restoration

AKA: The actual bulk of the presentation

Okay so we've got some pros and cons to this track. Starting with the Pros;

It's a song from an iconic scene - the 3v1 training room fight from Season 9

Tex and Maine are both in the fight

Was a great "Oh FUCK yeah" moment for the fans

Great track

Cons;

Not really a song for Carolina or the Meta (or y'know. Tucker. He's there too), and only kind of a song for Tex

Honestly the fight makes me think about York more than anyone else, since that's the fight where he gets hurt

Not a cool thematic moment besides just Tex being a badass

Started too late into the fight - it's sad that Carolina got a cool track when she (finally!) showed up, but Tex just got generic music. Show my girl some respect :(

So what would be better?

It has to be something that makes you think of at least one of the fighters. A track that's good for multiple would be better, but not required.

I think it should start when Tex first shows up, not when her armor changes. that’s a cool moment, but it still means most of the fight is working with Thiel’s score.

It should be something with a note of thematic relevance - for example, the big moment right at the end of the fight is Tex reminding epsilon!Sigma that she's not based on the Director's memories of her failure this time; she's based on the memories of Grif, Caboose, and Simmons. And she Always kicked their asses.

Still needs to be a big "Oh FUCK yeah" moment.

While incorporating Carolina's theme would be nice, I think it's more important to get at least one of the others - but we'll do our best here. I think this is moreso a Tex v meta!Tucker fight in my heart than it is a Carolina fight.

So let's look over a few options, shall we? These are in no particular order.

Spiral - Jeff Williams

This is the song that plays during the Season 9 car chase when Maine gets shot. It incorporates Carolina's theme, because in PFL her theme is never too far behind whenever a Maine/Meta song is playing, which has always been interesting to me. It has all that freaky choral stuff that Jeff loved to use, and generally is just a great track.

Fragments - Jeff Williams

This plays during the Freelancer break-in in Season 10, and it just rocks so hard. Anything from the break-in would be cool because that was the last time Tex, Carolina, and Maine/The Meta were all in the same place, and of course was when The Meta was properly created. I think it was so sad that they used the instrumental of Round One, because the vocals are part of what makes the Jeff era of RvB soundtracks so iconic, and god this song delivers! Also this song has a kickass trumpet solo at the end.

Slingshot (from the Death Battle) - Trocadero

Man this song rules. This of course plays in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle from Season 14. It's a very different energy from the Jeff picks, but it rocks so fucking much. This is a fight between Carolina and The Meta, and would of course be a callback to a (marginally) more recent - and extremely popular - episode of the show. If you haven't watched the Death Battle in a while you really should, it still kicks just as much ass now as it did back when I was in high school.

Literally any other song from the 3v1 Training Room Fight - Jeff Williams

This includes;

Round One (feat Lamar Hall)

Just the Bullfight part

On Your Knees

I just think the instrumental to Round One is the weakest choice from this fight tbh! Bullfight is my favorite out of the three, because it sounds the most Tex-y. The guitars are very her, and it incorporates part of her Agent Tex motif. And On Your Knees would have had the biggest "Oh FUCK yeah" factor. But honestly even just using the version of Round One with the vocals would have been way better.

EDIT TO ADD: a quick note - while it’s listed in the credits as Round One/Bullfight, that’s just how the instrumental is packaged on the OST. As far as I could tell in my two watches of it, they never actually make it to the Bullfight part of the track.

A Girl Named Tex - Trocadero

hold on, walk with me on this one.

I had a vision of Tex fighting meta!Tucker set to the "Yellow rose of Texas clad in black, lonely star tattooed upon her back. Double Tex she'll hit you like a truck. Double Tex and she'll mess you up." bit right after I watched 19 the first time and it's been haunting me ever since. (That bit starts at about 02:19)

This is her theme for the first chunk of the show - which just so happens to be the time period Grif, Simmons, and Caboose were primarily reminiscing about. It would have been cool as hell, and I can See the beginning of the fight in my head - the opening strums (what my brother so lovingly calls the Out of Mind music) when caboose is saying his line about how he brought back someone even worse than church, and then the fight starts! I can see it in my mind, it would have been so cool!

I just think there should have been more Blood Gulch era music in here.

100 Tex Battle - Jeff Williams

This doesn't get you any Meta points, but obviously it incorporates little bits of Tex's, and a lot of Carolina's theme. Twisting a Tex vs Carolina fight - obviously, Carolina vs all the Tex bots in Season 10 - into one where they're fighting alongside each other would have been really lovely and a cool full circle moment.

This song is really cool, it's such a good fight. I do think it maybe sounds a bit goofy at points for this fight, but still a cool option.

Okay so now let's go over my top three-ish picks

Ice Fight (or maybe the revelations suite?) - Jeff Williams

Jumping to the end of Season 8, we have a fight that involves Tex vs The Meta! And Wash, Doc, and all the Reds and Blues (barring Donut and Lopez. Hmm. Doesn't that sound familiar.) are there! Ice Fight rules so hard, it's so good.

And it has some of that narrative theming I was looking for! While yes, Tex does technically lose this fight - so does The Meta. And how does she lose it?

By going into the recovery unit.

The main reason I suggest the Suite instead of just Ice Fight is because I think having a touch of Red Vs Blue would have been really nice.

Mental Meta Metal - Jeff Williams

Genuinely my favorite track from season 10. If you let the song play the whole way through, it has Jeff's themes for The Meta, Carolina, and Tex in it. This plays the first time we see Maine in a fight in Season 10, and is also Sigma's first time in the field after we see him pondering Meta-stability in the classroom.

It incorporates elements from both Spiral and Plagam Extremam Infligere, which is kind of Jeff's theme for the Meta that he established back in Season 8. It also plays during the Freelancer Break-in when he's tossing Carolina off the cliff. The Latin on that translates to “to inflict an extreme blow”.

It also has a very strong statement of Carolina's theme, which could have been a great opportunity to bring her in with her theme!

Now, before I go over my final pick, let's go over what we need again;

We need a song with thematic relevance to the fight, that’s from an iconic scene, has a good energy to it, and would give fans a big “OH FUCK YEAH” moment.

Well, isn’t it obvious?

Agent Tex (/ Tex vs Tank / Hell's Angel) - Jeff Williams

The first instance of Jeff Williams’ Tex motif, later used in Hell’s Angel and Tex vs Tank, etc. I would add the opening strum commonly heard in the later iterations, but keep it generally the Agent Tex version which was used in the S8 Warehouse fight, as seen above.

This is like. The RvB scene ever. So many people saw this before they watched the show, and many more never even watched RvB - just this fight, since RT uploaded it separately from the episode because they knew it kicked so much ass. It also helped draw in folks who may have been fans of Monty Oum's other work. Fun fact: This was RT’s outro music for a really long time, too. So it really has history with the company.

Part of why I think this pick would work so well, beyond it just being Tex's theme for the Jeff Williams era, is that it would be so interesting in terms of narrative theming. The Season 8 warehouse fight was Tucker, Grif, Simmons, Sarge, and Caboose against Tex.

This whole sequence was Grif, Simmons, Caboose, Carolina, and Tex against Tucker.

This was one of the other scenes being reminisced about around the fire - you can see it as one of the clips shown during the scene. I think it would have been a really powerful moment, and a fantastic "FUCK YEAH" moment for everyone whose stuck around this long. This track is so good, and I really do think it would have been the perfect choice for this fight.

It's not even my favorite, if I was just choosing favorites I'd have picked Mental Meta Metal or A Girl Named Tex.

What have we learned? Why Were We Here?

Red vs Blue is a show with a lot of really fantastic music in it's book, and a really strong history of musical callbacks - particularly with the Meta's theme and how it's so closely tied to the motif Trocadero liked to use as "Wash Trauma" music. Making a clever callback to a song you've used before can help strengthen the thing you're trying to get across to your audience. I think it's somehing that Restoration really struggles with, which is pretty sad. But I hope you found my deep dive / analysis of what could have been interesting.

I'd really like to dive in and do a long reflection about the series as a whole, but as it stands this is around 3,000 words and if I get started on that, this post will never end. I'll probably work on that once i've actually Finished this rewatch.

Thank you for reading all of that!

[captainsophiestark]

Crisis of Conscience

Grant Ward x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Grant and his girlfriend met after being recruited to Hydra, and have spent the past decade or so in love as double agents at SHIELD. When they both join Coulson's team and Y/N has a crisis of conscience, however, it might put everything at risk.

Word Count: 2,824

Category: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Kind of an ambiguous ending that could be read as fluffy or angsty, but in my head they get their happy ending for sure.

Requested by anon! Hope you like it, this idea was super fun to write!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

Y/N's POV

"I'm just saying, if I went on Chopped, I would've learned not to use the ice cream maker by now. Like I would've watched a single episode before this."

I chuckled, smiling from my spot on the loveseat in the Bus's living room as Skye critiqued the Chopped contestants from the couch. After another successful mission with Coulson's team, the Bus 'kids' had crashed in the living room together to watch Chopped and eat foods that were bad for us. I was tucked under the arm of Grant Ward, my long-time boyfriend and friend, who I'd had to drag in here with us.

"It is kind of wild how often people continue to use it when it almost always goes wrong," I agreed. Skye threw her hands up, pointing one of them at me.

"Thank you!"

"I just want to try to make some of these things now," mused Fitz. "It's made me hungry."

Simmons and I hummed in agreement, and then the group of us fell into comfortable silence as the show came back from its commercial break. I could hear Grant's heartbeat through his chest, and the warm safety and comradery of the room put a warm feeling in my chest. I sighed, looking around at each of my friends while they watched the show.

Suddenly, the warmth in my chest turned to a cold, hard knot.

Soon, I'd be expected to betray these people. Like Grant, I'd been recruited by John Garrett a long, long time ago to be a Hydra agent hidden within SHIELD. Never once had I had a doubt, but sitting here with these people and knowing just how much harm might be on the horizon for them sent my stomach roiling.

"I... think I'm gonna call it a night," I said, standing up abruptly. I didn't bother to keep the discomfort off my face, especially as all my friends turned to me with curious looks.

"Is everything okay?" asked Skye. I gave a little shake of my head.

"I just... feel a little sick to my stomach. Probably it's a tiredness thing. I'm just gonna go lay down, I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning."

"Come see me if you don't," said Simmons, her brow creased in worry. I nodded, promising her and saying hasty goodbyes before turning and heading straight for my bunk. I could feel Grant's eyes following me as I went, but I ignored him.

****************

Over the next few days, the little kernel of doubt that had started in the back of my brain took root. Every time I interacted with any of the team, it grew, leaving me overwhelmed with guilt for the moment I knew was coming, when I'd be asked to betray these people I'd come to love. Especially as we sought the Clairvoyant, the mystical person putting our team at risk, and Grant and I both knew full well that the person in question was John Garrett.

I'd continued to do my job through bullet wounds, freezing temperatures, broken bones, and just about every other hurtle imaginable. But after a few days of fighting through the guilt, I just couldn't stomach it anymore.

"Hey, Grant? Do you have a sec?"

Grant raised an eyebrow, immediately stepping away from the direction he'd been heading to step closer to me, concern written on his face. We knew each other well enough and had been together long enough that he'd definitely noticed something was wrong with me.

"Everything okay?"

"It's just... I don't know Grant, do you ever... wonder if we're doing the right thing? With... uh..."

"You don't have to say it," he said. I bit my lip and nodded, trying to read something in his face. He still looked concerned, mostly for me, which didn't tell me much about how he felt about what I was saying.

"Well... what do you think? I mean, I can't imagine after everything we've been through with this team... just leaving them out to dry."

"I understand how you're feeling," he said, reaching out to take my hand in his. My heart leapt for a second, then dropped all over again as he continued. "But we have to remember what we're doing this for. John Garrett picked us. He pulled us out of terrible situations and gave us the chance nobody else would give us. We owe him. We can't turn on him now."

"Right. Of course, yeah, right." I plastered a shaky smile onto my face and met Grant's eyes. He still didn't look totally convinced, but I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he could question me. "C'mon, we better get back before they wonder where we went."

"Are you-"

"I'm fine, Grant. Just a little late-game nerves. But I'm fine."

He nodded, looking at least a little more convinced, and we continued through the bowels of the Bus to join our team in the lab. I tried to smile and pretend like everything was normal, but the pit in my stomach had turned into a black hole. For Grant, Garrett had saved his life. He felt loyalty to the man, if not to the cause. But for me? Garrett had recruited me from a less than ideal situation, sure. But he'd sold me on the idea of Hydra, which suddenly looked more like a rotten apple than anything else. I had no personal loyalty to him.

Unfortunately, I did have a lot of personal loyalty to Grant. I spent hours laying awake at night, agonizing over the position I'd gotten myself into, between my boyfriend and best friend and love of my life against every single other person I cared about. I tried to ignore it or push away the worries, to try to convince myself to just ignore the thing telling me to do something, but I just couldn't. Grant clearly wasn't willing to betray Garrett, and I wasn't willing to betray Grant. But I could still do something to warn our team.

Subtly, anonymously, using every skill I'd ever learned as a SHIELD or double agent, I managed to leave enough information with Coulson that he put it together. He didn't waste a single second before telling the rest of the team, and we set up an ambush for Garrett to get him once and for all.

The hardest thing I'd done in my entire life was lying to Grant's face when he pulled me aside, shocked and worried, to try to come up with a plan with me. He'd never asked me if I'd been the one to share the information, because he trusted me. It sent new pangs of horror roiling around in my stomach, but this time I didn't let it get to me. I could tell Grant what I'd done once Garrett was safely in jail, and then we could see if he could forgive me for it.

Unfortunately for me, I never got the chance to have that conversation with Grant. Somehow, Garrett managed to slip through the trap Coulson had laid. His cover was blown, which made him much less of a threat than he'd been before, but he was still out there. The whole team had landed and taken a temporary pause to figure out our next moves when Grant and I got identical texts.

"Garrett's calling us to meet up with him," muttered Grant, sidling up next to me out of earshot of the rest of the team. I nodded.

"What do we do?"

"We have to go to him. He probably needs our help dealing with this mess."

I nodded again, my brain working through all of my possible options. I could just share the text with Coulson, but somehow, that felt like a bigger betrayal than just giving them hints about Garrett. Probably since it would involve Grant, too. And even if he'd never forgive me for what I'd already done, I knew I'd still follow him to the ends of the Earth.

"Should we make up something to tell the team? Or should we just go?" I asked.

We ended up making a quick, somewhat thin excuse to the team, then rushed to where Garrett waited for us. We found him in a beaten-down, empty warehouse, waiting for us with his arms crossed in the back of the space. My heart leapt into my throat, but I kept my face carefully neutral as Grant and I came to a stop before him, side by side.

"Do either of you know why I've called you here?" asked Garrett, not bothering with a hello. His voice had a dangerous edge to it that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up; every instinct I'd honed over the course of years screamed danger.

"To try to deal with SHIELD figuring out who you are," said Grant, with the confidence of somebody who hadn't betrayed the man before us. Garrett scoffed.

"I guess that's technically true. But there was no way for them to find out. There was no way for Coulson and his team to get that information about me, to act with such certainty, as early as they did. At least, there shouldn't have been a way."

His hand wandered to his hip, and he unholstered his gun, holding it lightly in his hand as he considered it for a few moments. He looked back at me and Grant.

"There were only two people with the knowledge and the opportunity to out me. I know it was one of you. So one of you is going to tell me who did it, or I'm just gonna cut my losses and shoot you both."

Like the slow motion part of a movie, I saw Grant turn to me out of the corner of my eye. I took a deep breath before facing him, trying to express just how sorry I was without words. Hurt, shock, betrayal, and disbelief all played out across his face, his brow furrowed, his mouth slightly open. All of it felt like a knife to the heart, a sensation I'd likely experience for real in the next few minutes. I mouthed 'I'm sorry', willing him to believe it, then turned back to face John Garrett.

****************

Grant's POV

My heart stopped as I looked at the woman I loved and realization crashed over me at what she'd done. I knew she hadn't been satisfied after our conversation in the hallway, but I'd convinced myself not to follow up on it. A stupid, stupid decision.

She met my eyes, John still hovering just past us with his gun in hand, and a fear I hadn't felt since I was a kid took root in my stomach. Garrett had warned me, time and time again, and especially when I'd started dating a fellow double agent, that I couldn't trust anybody. My family had proven that from day one, and Garrett had been the only one to consistently be there for me. Now, Y/N had betrayed me like everyone else, and I could see on her face that she was going to do it again.

She mouthed 'I'm sorry' and turned back to John, and I got ready to defend myself after she tried to make me take the fall.

Then, she spoke.

"I did it."

I couldn't believe it. She'd owned up to it, knowing full well Garrett would most likely kill her. She was literally willing to take a bullet for me. A vice tightened in my chest.

****************

Y/N's POV

"I did it."

I spoke the words with a clear confidence I didn't feel at all as I looked Garrett dead in the eye. If I had one thing still guiding my decisions in the wake of everything that had happened and that I'd caused, it was a desire to protect Grant. I loved him, and no matter what else came of this, I didn't want him to take the fall for me.

The silence hung, Garrett staring me down. The hand he held the gun with twitched, and I braced myself to run or fight or I don't know what else, but Grant's voice rang out before Garrett or I could make another move.

"No, I did it."

I whipped around to look at him, and this time it was my turn for wide eyes and a mouth open in shock. Grant didn't look away from Garrett to me, even though I knew he knew I was staring at him.

"Grant, no. You didn't. I did it, and I didn't tell you anything about it."

"No, I-"

He stopped short when Garrett held up a hand, the one without the gun, to stop us both.

"No Ward, you didn't do it. Everyone in this room knows it wasn't you." Garrett strolled the short distance between him and Ward, effectively turning the field so he and Grant stood shoulder to shoulder against me. "But clearly it is a weakness for you."

Grant's eyes widened ever so slightly, and I knew him well enough to recognize it as fear. I shifted on my feet, no idea what to do anymore. Grant seemed to feel the same way as Garrett tapped the gun on Grant's hip.

"Weaknesses have to be weeded out, Ward. Take care of her."

Garrett and Grant both kept their eyes on me, and I could see sweat coming down Grant's face as he slowly reached towards his holster and pulled out his gun. With him and Garrett both armed, I didn't stand much of a chance, even if I was willing to shoot Grant.

As the man I loved raised his weapon, I blocked out Garrett completely. I met his warm brown eyes with my own, silently willing him to ditch Garrett, to choose me like I'd chosen him. My heart pounded in my chest, and in a split second everything changed.

I heard a shot and felt pain explode in my stomach as Grant moved at lightning speed. A moment later, as I sank to the ground, I realized he'd turned to face Garrett. He'd shot his old mentor in the chest, for me, but Garrett had managed to get a shot off before he went down. I brought my hand up to my stomach and touched something warm and wet before the hard concrete of the floor bit into my knees.

"No!" Grant cried, rushing over to me. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to breathe through the pain as he wrapped me in his arms. "Hey, stay with me, alright? Stay with me."

"Grant... you... you shot Garrett."

He grimaced, then tried to fight the expression off his face a moment later. He brushed a strand of hair back out of my face.

"The alternative was shooting you. John may have gotten me out of hell, but you were the first one to make me care about staying here in a long time."

I couldn't quite hold back a choked sob, which sent a flash of panic shooting across Grant's face. Still holding me with one hand, he reached into his pocket with the other and dug out his phone.

"Everything's going to be alright," he said, his voice taking on the calm assuredness we needed for missions. "I'm gonna call Coulson, and when they get here, they're going to help me take care of you. You're going to be alright."

I nodded, turning my head as Grant dialed to look at Garrett. He was splayed out on the floor a few feet away from us, the life clearly gone from his body. I refused to join him.

"They're on their way," Grant announced, setting down his phone once the call ended. "They'll be here soon."

"What did you tell them? About us? What we did?"

"Not a lot, but I'm sure we'll have to explain everything once they get here and you're stabilized."

I nodded. "Grant, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you, for going behind your back, I just couldn't let our friends get hurt-"

"Shh, it's okay. I get it, alright? I do. We'll talk more about it when you're on your feet again."

"I think you should tell them you were part of it," I continued, forcing the breath out. My vision had started getting darker, and I could feel my consciousness slipping, but I didn't want to be saved only to lose Grant after doing so much to try to save everyone else. "Tell the team you helped me tip them off, that we did it together. Make up whatever lie works but... I don't want to lose you..."

He leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my forehead as the last of my consciousness drifted away. The last thing I heard before everything went black was Grant, his voice low and whispered, echoing after me as I went.

"Don't worry. You could never lose me."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten

[sixofpomegranates]

Hey, so... would you be okay with an angsty Matt x Reader smut one shot.. like maybe he does actually cheat and both feel bad but also just kinda can't without one another?

❊𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚢❊

Pairing: Matt Simmons x fem!Reader

A/N: I tried, but couldn't write smut I found fitting. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

CW: Angst, Fluff | Mentions of y/n's father cheating on mother / Cheating, Divorce, Crying, One-Night Stand, Consumption of Alcohol

**********

*picture does not describe the looks or the reader*

**********

☁︎ POV: Matt ☁︎

"Kristy, we need to talk."

6 Months Earlier

I had always been a loyal man. I had never cheated on a girlfriend before, never looked at another woman, and always made sure that even those women who refused to respect the vows I'd given to my wife were fully aware that there was no room for them in my life, my heart, or my pants.

I adored my wife more than anything in the world and loved the life we'd created together.

And yet...

5 Months Earlier

Shortly after Penelope had left us for her new job in California, we'd gotten our new technical analyst. Penelope had actually gone through a fair share of people that were in consideration to be her replacement before she met [y/n]. She'd insisted that nobody knew better what the team needed than her and that she was responsible for finding a new sun to shine for us before she left.

But [y/n] wasn't just the sun; she was also the moon and all of the stars. She'd bring donuts, handle Reid when he felt overstimulated, have soothing words to offer when the job became hard, and wear the prettiest clothes, topped off with the most stunning smile.

She was like a toned-down-in-color version of Penelope. Somebody who I had only ever felt for like a sister, so I frankly didn't understand why I was so captivated by her.

4 Months Earlier

At first, I'd only enjoyed [y/n] 's company in the office; she'd come out more often from her Batcave than Penelope had done, so I always found myself drawn to her like a magnet. Then she'd start taking me out for lunch, where I'd start rambling like Reid about my life and the stress that came from being a father of five.

Talking to her felt like therapy, like something new but familiar, something different.

I enjoyed her presence so much that when she started looking for a house, I arranged for her to view the house next to mine. Her happy-go-lucky nature instantly made her fall in love with the house, especially after meeting Kristy and the kids.

She seemed to enjoy the idea of being our neighbor even more than having a place.

2 Months Earlier

So there she lived now, her bedroom window across from mine, my children in her yard as she was babysitting so Kristy and I could have some time alone, her smell in my car as I'd drive her to work every morning that I wasn't away on a case.

For a while, this worked. It was silly, but I felt like having found a best friend, an oddly close best friend.

One morning, Kristy was already downstairs making breakfast; I looked outside the window. I hadn't planned for it, but there was [y/n], getting dressed in her bedroom, currently only wearing her underwear while swaying her hips and moving her lips to a song I couldn't hear.

As I said, I'd never seen Penelope as anything other than a sister; I never saw any of my colleagues as anything other than family, but [y/n]... Our friendship was different in a way I dreaded to admit.

That morning was the first time since meeting Kristy; I felt myself grow hard to the image of another woman. Even worse, my heart skipped a dangerously long beat as [y/n] bumped into her bed, pulling a face and throwing herself theatrically onto the bed.

I had rushed into the shower, taken care of myself, and then eaten breakfast with my family, my head filling itself with shame.

What was wrong with me?

*****

❁ POV: [y/n] ❁

After almost losing a pinky toe to my bed, I finished dressing for work and walked over to the Simmons's House. I let myself in, announcing myself by wishing everyone a good morning. As always, the twins, Chloe and Lily, were all over me, showing off the new sparkly hairclips their daddy had bought them.

"So cool," I told Lily, helping her put the clip back into her dark her. "Morning, [y/n]," Kristy greeted me, frying pan in her hand, "Do you want some breakfast?"

I shook my head. "Nope, thanks. I'm currently recovering from almost losing my toe," I joked, hearing Matt chuckle. "Stop laughing; I'm traumatized."

He nodded, getting up and grabbing a second mug with coffee. "Here, you drama queen."

I grabbed the mug, now fully sitting on the floor as I French braided Chloe's hair. "You're a meanie," I told Matt in the most child-safe manner possible, sticking out my tongue. "Thanks for the coffee, though."

When I was done braiding Chloe's hair, Lily sat down between my legs, asking for pigtails. I grabbed the pink rhinestone hairbrush Penelope had bought the girls on her last visit and began combing her hair.

"Jake," I called out to the oldest of Matt's kids. "In my handbag's the Nintendo game we talked about."

"No way," he exclaimed, running over, taking it from my bag, and throwing his arms around me. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Then he took his brother, and they ran upstairs, leaving me to be eyed by Kristy.

"[y/n]..." she sighed, making me lift my hands and nod. "I know, I know. No spoiling the kids, but it wasn't that expensive."

"They love you even without being bribed," Matt said, looking down on Lily, that let herself be dolled up like a little princess by me.

"You don't know that," I answered. "Penelope buys them stuff all the time. She's even Rose's godmother. I'm just trying to keep up with her."

Penelope Garcia was the ray of sunshine I longed to be. Everyone loved and adored her; she didn't even have not to try gaining their love. Her sweetness came naturally. The way Matt loved her like family, how Spencer let her touch him, how JJ and Emily had these big, girl-talk shopping trips with her to outlet stores, and how she was the designated aunt of all their children.

Luke loved her in a Romeo and Juliette way, so that didn't count, but all the other ways they felt? I wanted to be as important to the team as Penelope. That was my job, after all.

'Be their new sun,' Penelope had instructed as she made me her replacement. 'They'll need all the light you're able to give them. This job is dark."

"[y/n], you don't need to try keeping up with Penny. You're more than enough and very easy to love," Matt said, meeting my eyes as I tried not to show just how flustered I'd become. Then he shook his head, looking to Kristy. "Am I right, hun?" She nodded. "So easy to love. You're doing just fine."

I had always wanted to be somebody to someone, to belong somewhere, and be able to help and be helpful. You could also say I hyper-fixated on being liked by everyone since I needed to distract myself from falling for a married man.

THIS had not been part of my work instructions. But god... Matt was so friendly to me; from the very first time I met him, it felt like coming home, meeting a long-lost friend again. I could talk to him for hours or simply listen to him and feel like nothing else matters.

I had felt my skipping heart's feelings after a week.

After two weeks and one more-or-less attempt to flirt with him, I discovered he was married.

That was something that bothered me for a while. I had seriously tried to flirt with a married man, a happy family father. What the fuck?

Married men were clearly off the table. I didn't condone cheating. I could never understand how you could cheat on your partner or be the person helping somebody cheat. It was disgusting.

And what made it so much worse Matt's family was the sweetest. His wife, Kristy, was beautiful, kind, and like a sister to me, and I loved the kids. They were such a happy family.

Therefore, I forced myself to be the most Penelope version of myself, keeping a distance from anything suggesting romance or interest in my new friend, and instead, even taking the kids over or babysitting, so Kristy and Matt could spend nice date nights together.

Married men – off-limits.

Married friend – off-limits.

Don't acknowledge that you're in love with Matt.

1 Month Earlier

This case had been awful—a kidnapped group of children around the age of Matt's twins. None had made it out alive. The unsub had a backup plan nobody could've known off. Yet, everybody searched for blame within themselves.

I'd picked up Matt from the airport as the private jet had landed. The whole way home, he sat there in silence.

"So... Are you going to drive to your in-laws tonight or tomorrow?" I asked into the car's silence, knowing Kristy and the kids had driven up to Baltimore the day before.

"Don't know," Matt answered coldly. I nodded. "M-Maybe you should drive tomorrow." "Maybe."

Driving by a 7/11, I quickly hopped in for a second, getting some snacks and alcohol. Sitting back in the car, I placed the shopping bag on Matt's lap.

He raised his eyebrows. "What-"

"We're having a sleepover," I announced. "The case was a dumpster fire, and as your best friend, I can't leave you all alone tonight."

Matt chuckled a little. "You don't have to." I nodded. "I know. That's what makes me so awesome."

*****

Sitting on Matt's couch, we'd already emptied an entire bottle of fireball whisky when he finally spoke. "Those kids... They were the same age as Lily and Chloe, and I failed them."

"Matt," I touched his arm, "You did everything you could."

"It still wasn't enough," he insisted. "How do I make a mistake like that and still get to go home and hug my children while these parents' lives are in ruins?"

"We didn't know he had a backup plan. I- I should've checked his internet history more carefully; maybe then we would've known he'd done some research on it. If somebody's to blame, it's me." A tear ran down my face. "Penelope would've never made a mistake like that, so please blame me and not yourself."

Carefully wiping his thumb over my cheeks, Matt pulled me into a hug. "Hey, love, it's not your fault. You did your best."

Ignoring the pet name, I mumbled into his chest, "Oh my, how the tables have turned. Then who's to blame?"

He kissed the top of my head, sighing. "Today was a very bad day." "A fucking shit-show," I agreed, sitting back up and fixing my mascara. As he looked at me, surprised, I giggled, "What? Your kids aren't home. I'm allowed to use adult language."

Matt nodded. "Fucking shit-show." Grabbing another bottle, he gestured its head towards me. "Another one? Maybe it helps forget today."

I handed him my glass. "Make me drunk, Simmons."

*****

How much alcohol was too much alcohol? I had lost count of my glasses and couldn't find my limit anymore.

Calmness filled the living room while soft music played through the stereo; I lay spread out on the couch, singing along to the 80's music lyrics. Matt nor I had talked about this case for what felt like hours anymore.

"Tell me something embarrassing," Matt urged, after having recapped his dreadful first day in the field, where he'd misunderstood an order and somehow ended in the sewer system – covered in shit.

I giggled. "What do you want to know?" He shrugged. "Something as embarrassing as my story."

I propped myself up on my elbows. I was too drunk to make a more rational decision, and he was too drunk to remember what I'd say anyway. "When I started working for the BAU, I had like the biggest crush on you," I blabbered, falling silent as I could see that Matt wasn't laughing.

"You had a crush on me?" he asked, and I nodded. Coming closer, he kneeled down on the floor next to me. "Why?"

"I don't know," I stammered, feeling my cheeks heat up. "I- You were nice and- and I thought you were cute."

Matt's face came closer; at first, I tried backing away, but then I realized the chance it was to finally see his dark eyes up close.

"Do you still feel that way?" he asked. "Does it matter?" I asked back. "You're married."

"Answer the question, [y/n]."

I nodded, embarrassed. "Still feel that way." "Me too," he agreed.

For a split second, my drunken mind was confused about his confession, but the moment his lips met mine, everything else became irrelevant. Helping him onto the couch and on top of me, his tongue entered my mouth, and his presence entered my mind, taking over my senses.

*****

☁︎ POV: Matt ☁︎

I woke up the next day, [y/n] 's naked body in my arms, both of us on the couch, clothes hastily thrown everywhere.

What had I done? I had cheated on my wife in our own home...

The only thing making this worse was how [y/n] was snuggled into my chest and how right it felt. For a moment, I felt the urge not to move. Would I move, this would be over, and I'd never get to hold her again.

She'd been drunk and had a little crush on me. [y/n] didn't love me and was well aware that I was married. We'd drunkenly decided on a night full of sex... not on spending the rest of our lives together. Although, it sounded exactly like what I wanted.

She hummed happily, nuzzling into me for a second before opening her eyes. Our eyes met, everything clothed in the golden light of the morning. She smiled sleepily, then reality hit.

[y/n] quickly sat up, grabbing her shirt and covering herself with it as though it would make a difference. "Oh my god..." she mumbled.

"Morning," I answered, hoping that playing it cool would relax her. "I- Fuck, I- We..."

I nodded as an answer, watching her quickly dress herself. I solely put on my underwear and jeans; it didn't matter anymore; we'd seen every inch of the other's body anyway. Cursing herself and the world multiple times, she sat back down, holding her head. Stepping closer, I brushed a hand over her shoulder.

"I'll make us some coffee, okay?" [y/n] nodded. "After, I think we should talk."

*****

[y/n] had clearly shown that she needed distance between us. Sitting across from each other at the table, we now both stared at our mugs.

"I can't believe we did that," she mumbled, and I looked up. "Do you regret it?" I asked, feeling my heart break as she nodded. "How can I not? You are married, and you have an amazing wife that loves you and your children- I- I just ruined a family."

She was right; we should regret this; as people with morals, we had to regret this. But I only regretted that it was now over.

"You didn't ruin my family," I assured her, and a cynical laugh escaped her. "The last time I checked, fucking somebody else's husband is kind of ruining things for everyone involved."

Taking a leap of faith, I said, "Families sometimes break up, [y/n]. Not every couple stays together... Especially when one has fallen in love with somebody else."

[y/n] looked at me, shocked. "You're leaving, Kristy?" "If you'd want me to."

She shook her head. "No. No, you don't love me." "I do," I insisted, feeling like clarity filled my senses, and the weight resting on my shoulders for months was finally gone.

"Well, I don't want you to leave your wife for me." "[y/n]..." She interrupted me, shaking her head and jumping up. "No. I- Could never be together."

"Why not?" "We're neighbors; I'm working with you, I befriended your wife and kids... It will look like we tricked them all, getting your family to like me before announcing I'm your new girlfriend. They will hate me."

Trying to step closer, I cooed, "The kids won't hate you. They love you."

[y/n] wiped a tear from her face, starting to become hysterical. "What do you know, Matt? My dad fucked his secretary, and I hate her to this day. She will always be the one that took my father from me, broke up our family, and hurt my mother so badly that she didn't leave her bed for months. She'll never be my stepmother."

[y/n] didn't talk much about her family; she had spent the holidays with Reid and the rest of the team. I'd thought that was because her mother lived in Florida, that there just wasn't much contact, but this made more sense.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." [y/n] nodded. "Because cheaters only think of themselves and not of how it affects their family or significant other. This was a massive mistake. I have to go."

Grabbing her purse, [y/n] ran out of my door before I could stop her. I sat down on the couch, on the same spot we'd slept. My heart was broken for the chance of love I'd lost and for my family just I'd broken for nothing.

1 Week Earlier

❁ POV: [y/n] ❁

Hiding away in my Batcave had only gotten me along so far; therefore, I'd used my vacation days to visit my mom. The hot Florida sun felt good on my skin, providing me with the vitamin D my depressed mind had so desperately needed lately.

I'd slept with Matt. I had been the other woman to a man that had everything.

I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving Kristy. If he would, it would all be my fault. I didn't deserve to have my selfish feelings rewarded by him loving me back. I should've just stayed away once I found out he was married.

Sitting down in the sun lounger next to mine, Mom handed me a cocktail. "Okay, speak," she said, making me look at her, confused. "Baby, I love that you decided to visit me, but you're just moping around since you're here." She took a sip from her bright orange cocktail. "Is it boy troubles?"

I didn't answer, only looked over to the pool to avoid the mother-stare, making it unable for me to lie.

"I'll take that as a yes. So what did that guy do? Borrow money? Break your heart? Did he cheat? Did he hit you, because Lord help me-"

"He's married," I answered, hearing her suck in some air. "And he didn't tell you." I shook my head. "I knew. He's my best friend... was my best friend."

"Oh, [y/n]..." I already expected her to start lecturing me, but she only said, "Tell me what happened."

I told her the PG-13 version of what had happened. How I'd fallen for a co-worker, finding out he was married, and decided just to be his friend... How we'd gotten drunk and slept with each other, ending with him wanting to leave his wife for me.

"And you told him no because you don't want to be with him?" my mother asked. I shook my head. "I said no because it was the right thing to do."

"But you would want to be with this Matt?" Fighting back my tears, I nodded. "If you both feel the same, you should choose what makes you happy and be with him."

I looked at my mother, shocked. "Mom, I- He had an amazing wife and children." "But he wants to be with you."

"How can you say something like that?" I hissed at her. "After all Dad did to you; you're still okaying me tearing apart a happy family?"

"So that's where the dog lies buried," Mom sighed. "[y/n]. Your father and I were very, very unhappy."

I nodded. "And instead of fixing it, he left you for his affair."

"Baby, we tried fixing our marriage for years, but it simply didn't work," my mother explained. "He was my first love, and we were still kids when we stumbled into being a family. God, we were so young when we got married and had you. We practically grew up with you and had to realize that we'd grown apart.

"When he finally found happiness somewhere else, it broke me. But it was better for us to learn and become happy on our own than force ourselves to stay miserable with each other."

"He still cheated on you; stop justifying it. You spent months crying your eyes out over him."

"Baby, you always idolize me and what I went through because you refuse to visit your father. The divorce and how he moved on with Stella also greatly impacted him. He lost his only child because he chose to finally be happy."

I only frowned at my mother, making her chuckle. "You kids always think once you're an adult, you'll have everything figured out, but trust me; you don't. We still make mistakes; we still handle things the wrong way... And sometimes our children learn to resent us for our decisions."

"I don't want his kids to hate me," I finally mumbled, sadly remembering how Stella tried to make an afford with me, buying me all the things for my birthday she knew, from my parents, I'd love, just to have me ignore her and tell her to shove the presents up her you-know-what.

Stella had cried bitterly that day, my dad trying to have us get along, to have this patchwork family work. She'd meant well because she loved my father and accepted that I was part of him, tried to be at least a friend to me, but I had chosen to hate her for robbing my family of its father.

All the words I'd used for her in my teens... I'd judged her, thinking I'd never be in a position like hers and how bad of a person she must be to fall for a married man.

"You don't know if they will. And even if so, there's still the chance they grow up realizing that it was better to have a happy father they only get to see part-time than a miserable one whose around all the time."

Mom took my hand and said, "I have your father's number in the little book next to the phone. I'm sure he and Stella would be glad to hear from you."

2 Days Earlier

I'd sent Matt a text the moment before boarding my flight home. When I got out of the cap, he was already sitting on my porch, rushing to me and helping with my luggage. Inside, I offered him a coffee, which he gladly accepted, following me into the kitchen.

"So, you didn't go to Baltimore?" I asked him, knowing that Kristy and the kids still spend their summer there.

Matt shook his head. "It didn't feel right. I- I told Kristy that I needed some time to think about our relationship... It's not like I can pretend nothing happened and move on. Wouldn't be right."

I switched on the coffee machine and turned toward him.

"I met my dad," I told him. "Really?" I nodded. "I- That's great... Is it?" I nodded again. "We got to talk about many things I didn't understand when I was younger. Like how he could just leave us for my stepmother."

Matt nodded, unsure how this conversation would evolve.

"Turns out that cheating isn't always just one person being an asshole. Sometimes there are plenty of factors taking place, and everybody gets hurt... even the one cheating. I was wrong only to see it in black and white; sometimes things are grey."

Matt nodded again, simply letting me talk. "I spent years hating my father and his wife. If we decide to be together, we must accept that your children could react the same way."

Now he let out a breath he seemed to have held, blinking at me, confused. "If?" he asked. "You-You're considering it?"

I nodded. "As long as we're both aware that it's not going to be easy. Because I don't think I'll manage to stay away from you."

Matt took a step closer, cupping my cheeks. "As long as we're in this together, I'll take the consequences as they come. I love you, [y/n]."

I let out a giggle, through my tears sounding more like a snort. "Good, 'cause I love you too."

And as we then brought our lips together, for our first sober kiss, I realized the hardships would be worth the happiness that awaited us.

Today

☁︎ POV: Matt ☁︎

As Kristy and the kids came home, I hugged my little ones, hearing about their adventures with their grandparents while carrying in their suitcases and partially (Lily) them since they were too exhausted (dramatic) from their car trip with their mom to walk.

Once they were all inside, I set the girls into the living room, putting on a movie as the boys went upstairs. I ordered them the fast food of their choice and then met with Kristy in the kitchen.

"So, how are your parents?" "Good," she gave back blank. "They asked where you are, and I told them you were stuck at work."

I nodded, knowing that the next part of this conversation was scary and would hurt, but it was unavoidable.

Sitting down at our kitchen table, I said, "Kristy, we need to talk."

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Sarge (he's my favourite :D)

Of course! First Halo RvB request on here!

Yandere! Sarge Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Possessive behavior, Violence, Gun mention, Gore mention, Implied kidnapping, Threats of murder, Delusional behavior, Aggressive behavior, Obsession.

- Sarge is probably one of the least sane ones out of Team Red and Blue.

- He's always violent and craves conflict.

- If there's none, he creates it.

- Which would make him one of the more aggressive Yanderes.

- He is also egotistical and always believes what he does is right.

- I'd say Sarge is Impulsive, Possessive, Delusional, Aggressive, yet somewhat Compassionate towards you.

- I also feel this goes without saying, but he'd be better off with a Darling on Red Team.

- A Darling on Blue Team would cause Sarge to feel rather conflicted, unsure if he hates you or adores you.

- Sarge is impulsive, he does not plan things well and refuses to get a second opinion.

- Which would make him more likely to lock you up beside him and not consider how you feel as with most impulsive Yanderes.

- The others such as Grif and Simmons may tell him that what he's planning is wrong on so many levels.

- However while he somewhat considers Simmons words, he blows off Grif completely.

- "Trust me, you're just jealous I found someone to be with. DON'T get any ideas!"

- Sarge is also possessive because he loves getting confrontational.

- He often picks fights with Grif over you.

- It's worse if you're on Blue Team.

- Church and Tucker never hear the end of Sarge's delusional rambling about how you shouldn't be with them.

- Think of an overly confrontational dog that barks all the time?

- That's Sarge.

- Speaking of delusional, Sarge is that too.

- He probably fully believes you love him already.

- When you are actually a bit scared of him.

- He's way too trigger happy.

- You can't even make conversation without Sarge bursting in to start a fight.

- He loves fights.

- He probably believes everyone is secretly his enemy except you with his delusions.

- Everyone wants you.

- He just knows it.

- "Keep your distance from (Y/N) if you know what's good for you."

- Aggression comes easily to him.

- He causes fights all the time.

- Even towards you his love can be rather aggressive.

- Sarge seems like the person to flirt, but it comes off as gorey and twisted.

- He thinks it's endearing.

- Yet you essentially just heard he'd shoot everyone he saw for you-

- It terrifies you.

- Despite all the delusions and aggression, he still has the capability to be compassionate.

- He does show he cares for you.

- It just comes out distorted.

- He probably isn't physically affectionate, however he does use words to flatter you.

- He's obsessed with you, just too deranged to properly show love towards you.

- Sarge can be a dangerous Yandere.

- But he'd never pull his gun on you.

- "Stay at the base, let me handle all the dangerous stuff. Grif, Donut, I want not a word spoken to (Y/N). Simmons is fine, but NOT you."

[cherrypieships]

the amusement park: chapter two

A/N: whew omg it’s been a while since I posted! Anyway I’m back and better than ever with part two, the finale of the amusement park!! This chapter includes a trigger warning for fake blood and cult mentions. It's a haunted house, so it isn't a real cult, but I'd rather be safe than sorry <3

Ship: davey jacobs x pepper simmons (s/i), featuring my best friend V and my gf Khourey and their respective f/os, race higgins and jack kelly!

Summary: When the sun sets on Canobie Lake park, the amusement park turns into a Halloween extravaganza, where Pepper and Davey find themselves paired up once more.

Once the sun had dipped onto the horizon, the last dregs of color fading from the sky as the stars came out, the group found themselves heading towards the sides of the park, where the haunted houses were set up. Mickey looped their arm through Pepper’s, pulling her close and pointing out the performers walking past; a clown with a chainsaw, a long-haired girl in a tattered hospital gown, a man wearing a pig’s head as a mask.

“So they basically walk around the park and try to scare people.” She explained, and nudged V so they could listen in as well. “But little kids sometimes wear these little glow-y ball necklaces, see? And the performers can’t scare them.” She pointed out a pair of kids walking past, both of their t-shirts illuminated by spiked plastic spheres attached to long black cords. Sure enough, the actors walked right past them.

Vi pushed their bottom lip out, turning towards Mickey. “That’s so fucking cute.” They cried.

Pepper smiled. It was pretty cute, and a good idea on the park’s part. “Do they wear them into the houses?” She asked curiously.

“I fuckin’ hope not.” Jack scoffed. “I wanna get scared, I’m not here to miss a good haunted house cause of some kid.” He smiled when Mickey swatted him. “What? It’s true!”

Mickey’s eyes rolled. “Yeah, but don’t be a dick about it.” They chastised, going to swat him again, and as their hand made contact, Jack snatched it and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Averting her gaze, Pepper felt something cold swirl in the pit of her stomach at the casual intimacy. She focused on the gum wrapper on the ground beside her shoe instead of whatever that feeling was.

V’s knuckles rapped against Pepper’s forearm, a gentle knock for her attention. “Hey, I gotta hit the bathroom, you wanna be my buddy?” They asked, though the raise of their eyebrows gave the impression that the question was simply a formality; there was no option.

Making the journey to the restrooms a short one, Vi didn’t even pretend they had to pee, instead moving to stand in front of the mirror and check their eyeliner. “So are you gonna make a move tonight?” They asked, voice quieter than usual.

Pepper sighed, of course this was the reason she was in here. “Dude, I don’t fuckin’ know.” She said, exasperation travelling across her features at even the thought of confessing her feelings. She’d talked a big game about it before, about how she loved Davey, about how she’d confess her feelings for him the second she got the idea he liked her back, but truthfully she was… well, she was scared.

Vi barely looked up from the mirror, but their expression softened. “Obviously you don’t have to,” they reassured. “But I bet that if you don’t at least ask how he feels he’ll never tell.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “That’s because there’s-“

The door to the bathroom flew open and Mickey blustered inside, annoyance clear on their face. “Okay, how dare you two leave me alone with those idiots.”

V grimaced. “Oh shit, sorry. I just wanted a minute to see what was up with Pepper and Davey.”

Mickey’s lips pursed, eyebrows raising onto her forehead. “Oh shit okay what’s the deal?” They asked, moving closer.

Against her better judgement, Pepper leaned her head against the bathroom wall. “There’s nothing to tell! I don’t have any plans to tell him, and there’s no way someone who talks as much as Davey would have a crush on someone and not say something.” She looked pointedly at her best friends.

“That… is an excellent point.” Mickey acquiesced.

Vi lifted a finger. “Or! Maybe that’s the way you can tell that he does like you.” They moved toward the sink to wash the eyeliner remnants from under their fingernails.

“What?”

Mickey nodded. “Oh, no, I totally get it.”

“Get what? What are you talking about?”

V smiled, turning to put their damp hands on Pepper’s shoulders. “You just said Davey never shuts up.” Pepper nodded slowly. “He’ll talk to you about anything, right?” Another nod.

“But he never talks about what’s up between the two of you.” Mickey finished. “Literally, even if Jack asks, he brushes him off.”

Brow furrowed, Pepper turned back to Vi, who was grinning. “If you don’t ask, he’ll never tell.” They clarified, an echo of their earlier statement. “Don’t fucking focus on what he says, bitch, you have to ask about what he’s not saying.”

Terrifyingly, that made it click. Something welled up hot and thick in Pepper’s throat, hope or fear she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, she wasn’t budging at her friends’ optimism. “You two are reading too far into this.” She countered weakly.

Mickey grabbed her hand, squeezed it a few times. “Listen, we’re not pressuring you.” They explained, and Violet hummed in agreement. “You don’t have to ask him anything or tell him anything, if you just wanna vibe tonight, that’s totally cool.”

Just like that, the tension melted from Pepper’s body, her psyche apparently pleased at being left alone for the moment. She looked between her friends, Vi’s warm smile and Mickey’s kind eyes, took a deep breath, and went back out into the park.

Back where the boys were waiting, the curtain to the first haunted house had lifted, and the line began to move. Jack waved them down with a smile, and they gapped into the line. He pulled the park pamphlet from his back pocket and flipped to the back, where the haunted house attractions were listed. “Okay so we started next to the big spinn-y thing. Which is… the cult one, The Culling.” He announced.

“Yeah, Jack.” Race deadpanned. “It’s on the sign.” He pointed above the line, which, sure enough, boasted the name of the site.

Jack swatted his friend with the pamphlet before tucking it into his back pocket. “I knew that.” He grinned, throwing an arm around Mickey’s shoulders and pulling them closer.

Davey nudged Pepper’s side. “Partners?” He smiled, offering his elbow as their group stepped up to the banister blocking off the entryway.

She ignored the wink that Vi threw at her, and looped her arm through Davey’s with a blush and a simper. “Hope we don’t die in there.” She mused.

He patted the hand she’d placed on his bicep, warm in contrast to her poorly-circulated own ones. “If we do, we’ll die doing what we loved.”

Her head tilted. “What’s that?”

“Kicking and screaming.”

Pepper crumpled into a fit of laughs as the employee lifted the bannister. “Have fun.” The woman at the entryway smiled, her eyebrows raising mischievously.

Race and V went first, obviously, Race throwing his arm across their shoulders and pulling them close. Mickey and Jack went next, Jack’s hand curled protectively into the back of her shirt as they ducked through the curtain. A billow of dry-ice smoke kicked out at her and Davey as she gripped his arm tighter, moving through the curtain and into a room flooded with red light.

There was a man in the corner, a pair of bloodied goat horns protruding from his head, who growled lowly at them as they walked past. Davey cast a look in his direction, following in the footsteps of his friends, and they heard Race scream further up ahead. Pepper laughed a little at that, the adrenaline beginning to swirl hot in her veins.

The next room was full of actors, at least a dozen kneeling frozen in mock prayer, and the woman to Pepper’s right let out a broken wail, making her jump. Davey’s hand came to grab hers again, this time his fingers tangling with hers. He was laughing gently at her fright, something that might have pissed her off if it had been anyone else.

They passed through a hallway full of strobelights and white walls painted with bloody handprints, the thrum of electricity the only noise for a moment, and Pepper opened her mouth to ask when the Cult Stuff would start, when a man wearing a decaying goat’s skull for a mask barrelled around the corner, making both her and Davey scream.

She curled into his side, awkwardly stepping on his shoe as she did, and watched the man with enormous eyes as he tilted his mask curiously at them. Davey laughed a little, and whether he was trying to laugh off his fright or genuinely enjoying himself, Pepper couldn’t tell.

They rounded the corner, careful of the actor who’d popped out at them, and turned into a room seemingly devoid of anyone, except for Mickey and Jack, who were giggling as they shuffled into the next room. The walls were tall and painted white, a hidden projector playing a black and white video reminiscent of those old war propaganda commercials. It was too loud for Pepper to hear anything properly, but she could catch snippets of the voiceover, “Join us in… the great and powerful… be afraid…” as the video flicked between church services, goats on farms, hypnotic black and white spirals.

Davey tilted his head at the screen. “Christians, am I right?”

Swallowing a laugh, she jutted her elbow into his side. “This is not the time, David.” She snorted, coyly tugging him closer by the anchor his hands provided. Fuck it, why not get close to him while she had the chance?

The end was in sight, she could see the cool blue light of the outdoors pouring in from the other side of the final room; one that was lined with pews, with a goat-headed preacher at the front, holding a black leather-bound book and screaming about the end of days. The church (cult?) -goers were in various stages of worship, some with their arms in the air, some reading their scripture, some sobbing towards the sky. A shudder ran through Davey, one so intense that she felt it in her own skin, and she wondered, briefly, what was so freaky about this particular scene that he-

SLAM

The actor in the pew she’d just passed closed his book with a deafening bang. She jumped, screamed so loud it felt like the sound had been ripped from her teeth, and didn’t realize she was shaking until Davey’s arm encircled her, speeding past the latter half of the room and out of the first haunted house.

Pepper swallowed a mouthful of fresh air, held it for a few seconds, and released it with a pleased laugh. She turned her face up to Davey’s, ready to ask him if his heart was racing the way hers was, when he cut her off, gripping her shoulders like she’d disappear. “Are you okay?” He demanded.

Her eyebrows pinched together, her smile melting at the way his eyes were blown wide. “Yeah? I-I’m fine?” She said, reaching up to grip his wrists. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

Every hint of expression faded from his face. The fire left his eyes, his hold on her softening, his jaw and browline going slack at the realization. “Yeah, I… I thought he-”

Race’s hands landed on either one of their shoulders. “Hey, Jack wants to know if you guys wanna do the hotel one or the factory one next, we’re at a tie.”

Pepper turned to him, blinking back the heat in her cheeks. “Oh fuck, okay, we’ll be right there.”

There were four more haunted houses, each of them with a bit of walking distance between them. Davey didn’t release her hand until they’d cleared the last attraction.

---

Still reeling from the adrenaline rush of the haunted houses, the group made their way toward the back of the park where the Ferris Wheel resided. Violet and Race were skipping down the lanes, their laughter fluttering in the cool autumn wind. Mickey and Jack were walking in front of them, their pinkies linked as they recounted their haunted house experiences.

Pepper tried to ignore that Davey was still so close to her.

His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

“Which one was your favorite?” He asked, the back of his hand brushing against Pepper’s as they walked. He was looking down at her, nose all rosy and cheeks flushed. He wore autumn so well.

She pursed her lips as she thought. “The cult one.” She settled after a moment.

Davey grinned. “Mine too. Or the hotel was really good.” He turned to her once they reached the line for the ferris wheel. “Y’know, when that guy back there slammed his bible closed I thought he hit you.” His fingers twitched, like he was waiting to reach for something.

There it was. The reason for his earlier freakout.

Laughing lightly, Pepper shook her head, curls falling in her face as she tried to dispel any of his remaining worry. “Oh God, no. Isn’t that illegal, anyway?” She focused on the ferris wheel ahead of them, the eighty feet of blinking lights and rocky baskets that they’d be shoved into; anything besides the bewildering look that was back on Davey’s face. Ahead of them, their friends were being ushered into passenger cars. Jack planted a kiss to the side of Mickey’s head and whispered something into their ear that made them grin.

Pepper tried not to be jealous, and failed.

Beside her, Davey was rambling again. She tuned in right in the middle of his spiel. “It’s some kinda torture house, basically. They just wail on you for like ten hours, and they film it, too. You have to sign a waiver and everything, and it’s like, forty pages or something. I watched a video of this one girl who went there and she said-”

“You two all set?” The ride operator asked, her smile bright as she cut into Davey’s rambling.

He blinked, like he hadn’t realized how close they were. “Oh, um. Yeah, I guess we are.” He resolved.

They clambered into the rocky car and belted themselves in, waited for the attendant to lock their door, and began their ascent.

Immediately, Pepper felt the wind chill. “Holy fuck, it’s freezing up here.” She barked. Davey’s cardigan was warm, sure, but the cold air cut through it like a knife.

Davey turned to her and readjusted the way he was sitting, opening up his arms. “I know, c’mere.” He wiggled his fingers and everything and, well, how was he supposed to say no to that?

She scooted closer until her leg was pressed right up against his, and her upper body curled into him. They’d done this before, a million times, when watching movies or at parties when it got crowded, or when she asked him to read to her, and Davey, ever the wonderful companion, never complained-

Oh.

Oh, no.

That was what her friends meant.

Davey’s arms wrapped around her tight. Without thinking, her arm did the same. “Better?” He asked, pulling back to look down at her.

Pepper smiled with her heart in her throat. “Always.” She said, and looked up at him.

And there he was. The same Davey as always, with his pale skin and round hazel eyes, now grinning down at her like she had hung all the stars in the sky just for him. Here he was, and he was so close that their noses were almost touching. Not correcting strangers who thought they were dating. Holding her hand and giving her his clothes and sharing drinks with her. Here he was- and she was confused.

His mouth twitched, the way it always did when he was worried. “You okay, Pep?” He asked, quieter now.

A slow nod. “Yeah… just, um, thinking.” She responded. He opened his mouth, eager to ask more, but she cut him off. “About us.” She said, feeling bold now.

Davey’s eyebrows just about skyrocketed off his face. “Us.”

“Yeah.” Pepper’s hands were shaking, but she didn’t think she could stand another minute of this. All of her affections bottled up like a powder keg while he played with them so nonchalantly. “Davey, what are we?” She hoped the question didn’t come out as raw as it felt, but she could almost taste the blood on her tongue.

“Oh.” His shoulders dropped, and he looked away. His arms didn’t move from around her, but his eyes were flicking back and forth. “We’re… you’re… m-my best friend and...” He scrunched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend and... I’m so stupidly in love with you.”

Pepper sat up as the Ferris wheel stopped. They were at the top now.

“I know that’s a lot to throw at you, I’m sorry, but all day I’ve just been thinking about you and about how much it feels like you’re this missing piece of me, you know? Like every time I need someone you’re there, and every time I talk about you to anyone I get this big grin on my face. And then earlier when that lady said what she said, it just felt so right.” He’d been gesturing wildly with his hands until she grabbed them.

She pulled his hands into her lap, encasing them with her own cold ones. “Davey.”

He sighed with a wry smile. “You can tell me no, Pep, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Davey.” She tried again.

“And it’s not gonna ruin anything, I promise. I love you but that’s not gonna make me turn into an asshole, I still care about you as a friend.”

“David.” She grabbed the sides of his face in her cold hands. His jaw was tense. “I love you.” She said, plainly, the way you would state any other fact. The sky was blue, the Earth was round, and Pepper Simmons loved Davey Jacobs.

And for once, Davey- sweet, lovely Davey- didn’t start talking about love, or about basic heteronormativity, or fucking haunted houses. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Any great novelist, or even just your average writer, always compared a great kiss to fireworks. But this, Pepper thought, was better than any fireworks she’d ever seen. It was coming home after a long night. It was sitting by a fire on a cold winter day. It was years of sharing beds and writing texts in secret languages, of sitting at each other’s family dinners, of shared secrets and pinkie promises, playful teasing and pathetic yearning, all wrapped up in a soft press of lip to lip. It was Davey. Of course it was. In retrospect, nobody else had ever stood a chance.

Pepper was giggling when she pulled away from his lips. “I love you.” She repeated.

The lights of the amusement park were glittering in his eyes. “And I love you.” He was beaming, their foreheads tipped together. Then he started laughing, soft and slow and bubbly, as though he were savoring it. “Oy, we’re so ridiculous.” He said as the ferris wheel began to turn again.

She could’ve stayed there for days, looking at each of the freckles on his face like little star clusters in her vision. If there were ever a photo she could keep framed on the walls of her memory, it would be this; his smile, the ivory skin around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. She was laughing too. “Yeah, we are.” Her head leaned against his shoulder, a sigh escaping before she could stop it. “How long?”

There was a beat, and she knew Davey was thinking. “Um, four years maybe? It was the summer before junior year of high school, I know that much.” The thumb of his right hand, still around her, began rubbing at her shoulder.

Pepper sat upright, aghast. “Oh my God, you’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.” He grinned.

“Holy fuck.” She snorted. “We could’ve been doing this for years!”

Davey poked her side, making her laugh in turn. “How about you?” There was the look in his eyes again, and this time she recognized it. Dreamy, warm, a little vulnerable.

“Senior Prom. Remember we slow danced together?”

The ferris wheel stopped again, this time with them at the back. “Yeah, holy shit. I was so nervous that night.” Pepper laughed, head tossed back. “I’m serious! I was so sweaty, I’m surprised you didn’t comment on it.”

“Your hands were like holding clams.” Another poke, this one less playful. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. We’re here now.”

A kiss landed on her cheek, warm in stark contrast to the biting cold. “I can’t believe this.” He was laughing. “I can’t believe you liked me back.” He said.

Pepper nuzzled her nose into his neck. “I know. I can’t either.” She rested her chin on his shoulder, looked up at him and sighed.

He turned back to her. “You know they’re not gonna leave us alone, right?” He asked, tilting his chin towards the baskets below them that held their friends.

“I’m aware,” she mumbled. “I mean, they did call it.”

His lips curled up into a wry smile. “I know they did.” His fingers found the long strands of her hair, wrapped themselves in them. “Race and V haven’t left me alone about you for like, two years straight.” He shrugged. “And oh my God, if I have to hear Sarah and Les talk about it one more time I’m gonna explode.”

Pepper’s jaw dropped. “Sarah and Les were teasing you?”

He scoffed gently. “Are you kidding? They tell me to shut up every time I talk about how pretty you are.” And yeah, maybe she should have expected that, if he truly had been in love with her since junior year of high school, but Pepper’s body reacted quicker than she could recognize, her cheeks going hot and nose scrunching as a smile broke across her features.

“Well,” She said as the ferris wheel began to turn again. “Lucky for us, we probably have some time to kill before we have to face them again.” She bit at her lower lip, glancing up at him and hoping he would catch onto her proposition.

And, since Davey had always been smart, he did. “You’re right.” He breathed, and then leaned down to catch her in another kiss, one that went on, well… a little longer than the first.

Later, they had to face their friends, red-faced and smiling as they admitted what had happened. They had to endure a good hour’s worth of teasing, V and Mickey taking the opportunity to deliver a few well-intended pokes to Pepper’s sides, and Race and Jack offering high-fives to her- well, she supposed he was her boyfriend now.

The two of them climbed into the backseat of Race’s mom’s minivan again, this time hand-in-hand and sharing warm laughter. Davey stole another kiss from her, giggly and content, and promptly leaned his head on her shoulder to get some rest.

She supposed everything else could wait.

[smallblueandloud]

ooooooh i'd love to hear about the fsk twitter au and/or she survives!

YOU HIT ON THE TWO I’M PROBABLY MOST EXCITED ABOUT.

well like. okay i was excited about she survives and now i’m not sure about it so i’m just gonna let it flounder in my wips folder until one day i develop enough confidence to post it lmao.

anyway, the fsk twitter au is literally just an excuse for me to write the wish fulfillment of my dreams, which is queer people being queer and domestic online. i am stalking a lot of people on twitter right now and while i know it’s not healthy to overshare on the internet, and therefore i don’t necessarily think they should, it doesn’t mean that i am not craving it. therefore, fsk are celebrities (as are the rest of the SHIELD people) and they’re poly and out and everything is wonderful. i love them.

i haven’t written a lot of this story but it’s mostly because i haven’t had any ideas about the plot yet. but i’m enjoying just writing like... outsider pov fluff. it’s really healing.

Jemma Simmons (@jsimmons) tweeted: Fitz and Daisy have taken over the living room to watch Amok Time. I’m taking applications for new spouses.

Lance Hunter, Actor (@hunterhunter) retweeted and added: my time has come

daisy “that actor who doesn’t shut up about data harvesting” johnson (@daisyquake) retweeted and added: hey hold on hunter i thought you were gonna go for ME once jemma hit her final straw

Fitz (@justfitz) retweeted and added: stop texting during amok time

Fitz (@justfitz) retweeted and added: anyway, everyone knows @hunterhunter and i are getting married once you two drive me away with your disLIKE OF STAR TREK

also there’s some mackelena in there that i’m really happy about!

Mack (@a.mackenzie) tweeted: I love Elena so much but also this is the third time she’s chosen Manos: The Hands of Fate for movie night

Elena Rodriguez | Seven Cents S2 Streaming On Netflix Now! (@yoyorodriguez) retweeted and added: IT’S A WORK OF ART

Mack (@a.mackenzie) tweeted: [Screenshot of a Wikipedia quote reading “Manos remained obscure until 1993, when the television series Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), a show based on the premise of comedically mocking B movies, featured the film in an episode, helping it develop a cult reputation as one of the worst films ever made.”] .@yoyorodriguez Babe I’m begging you

(can you tell i don’t use twitter lmao)

and she survives is actually a star wars fic!! featuring wedge antilles and a random rebellion oc!! because i am nothing if not COMMITTED to my terrible ideas.

basically i was just thinking about how leia must be so symbolic, being the princess of a dead planet and the heir of the founder of the rebellion and the sister of the last jedi. and then i thought about how she withstands torture in episode iv, at age NINETEEN, and how she’s always angry all the time and how that must clash with the fact that she’s clearly a leader slash commander, even in the original trilogy (canon can whine all it wants), which means she’d be unable to go and actually physically fight most of the time. she’s too important of a strategic mind and a symbol to go and risk her own life.

and all of those feelings kind of meshed into the headcanon that the rebellion loves leia dearly and wants to protect her, and also they don’t want her to fall into enemy hands again, because she’d withstand torture and come out a martyr and the empire knows it. so instead they’d kill her and therefore kill half of the rebellion’s hope in a single strike. which means. in essence. several rebels have died to make sure leia doesn’t fall into enemy hands again.

i’ve cried about this multiple times if you can’t tell.

so i wrote like 1k of wedge antilles going up to a random rebel and warning them that leia’s personal guard needed to be made up of people who would be willing to die to keep her out of enemy hands and telling them that it was no problem, he understood if they couldn’t do it, but he was going to have to transfer them somewhere else.

i’m having Doubts about this because tbh i’m not sure if leia’s that much of a symbol in the ot? maybe in the st. but also i don’t want to write anything about the st lmao.

ANYWAY i’m still emo about this so i hold the eternal hope that i’ll finally get enough confidence to post this fic. here is a snippet. please validate me.

“No, it’s okay,” you say, remarkably calm for someone who just accepted death. “I can handle it. Keep me on the mission.”

Wedge stares into your eyes. “You’re sure?”

No judgement. Just confirmation.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you say. “It’s okay. She’s the princess.”

You’re not from Alderaan, but that doesn’t matter. A few days ago you heard someone whisper that the death of Alderaan just untethered Leia from her singular planet, made her everyone’s princess. You kinda like that theory.

Leia Organa is twenty two and people whisper that she walks with the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. Not just everyone’s hope for defeating the Empire - but for what she’ll do after the Rebellion wins. The one who will rebuild the Republic than most Rebels don’t even remember.

You can do this for her.

[florchis]

I'd love to hear more about your demisexual Fitz headcanon because the more I think about it, the more I love it. Like, do you think Fitz knows he's demisexual? Is he out to anyone? Give me all your theories! :-)

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. I never knew I had so many *ideas* about this until I started writing it. For some reason this ended up being a re-telling of the canon-Fitzsimmons storyline with demisexual Fitz? To be honest, I think I didn’t change the story much, but it still was so important for me to tell.

{Mentions of both of them being with other people, mentions of both of them being bi, mentions of Will Daniels, a lot of discussions of sex, but nothing explicit.}

Growing up, Fitz knew that he wasn’t much into girls like his classmates were, which led him to a small sexuality crisis, like, was he gay??? He finally decided that probably not, because he didn’t care much about boys either (the discovery of his biromanticism came later in life), he was just Weird Like That, and too busy building things and getting a PhD at fifteen to pay much attention to people.

Then he met Simmons at the Academy, and Simmons was still a genius, still his own age and still fanning herself over people?? Like he couldn’t process it? Again, he assumed his lack of interest became from His General Weirdness and from his “it’s not like anybody would give me the time of day, anyway” belief.

Simmons talks about sex all the time. Like. All. The. Time. Not in much detail, but since she is bored by people that is not him, she usually has a lot of comments to share. “I kept him longer than usual because he is not that bad in bed” and “If he put the same effort into giving oral that he puts into trying to get me to give him oral, maybe he wouldn’t be half bad”. Fitz is baffled by this. Like, not disgusted, but for him sex is a thing that exists in a plane outside of reality. One of that kind of things that your parents tell you “You will understand it when you are older.” But apparently he is old enough now- because Simmons is-, and still he is not getting it?

Just before they graduate from the Academy, he decides that he has to know what is all the fuss about. It’s not a decision made out of desire, it’s not something his gut is telling him to do, it’s a very conscious, intellectual decision. He is a scientist, and scientists ought to try things before drawing a conclusion.

He picks a Nice Girl, one that is a freshman and therefore doesn’t know much about his weird reputation, but still one or two years older than him. He takes her out, does all the expected things, or so he imagines. When she invites him into her dorm room, he says yes.

It is… an okay experience, but nothing to write home about. He still doesn’t get it. He can get as much physical satisfaction by jerking off and way more emotional satisfaction during a night in with Simmons.

During they stay at SciOps, Simmons sets him up a couple of times with female co-workers. Fitz goes out obediently with all of them, but never asks them for a second date, and just barely kisses them goodnight. He doesn’t connect with them as much as he connects with Simmons, and then what is the point in getting physical with them? He barely has enough free time as it is to add up another thing to the list.

After the fifth lukewarm date, Simmons confronts him.

“Are you gay, Fitz?”

“No. I mean, it doesn’t make much difference to me, a man or a woman. I am just not interested in them, okay, Simmons?”

“Don’t you get sexually frustrated?”

“… should I?”

“… Fitz, are you asexual?”

“I’m not repulsed by sex!”

“You don’t have to be repulsed by sex to be asexual, silly. Let’s look it up.”

They look it up. Simmons redirects him to tons of webpages, forums, personal blogs. Always the biologist, she is the one more interested in Putting Things Into Categories. Always the engineer, he only cares if Things Works, and they don’t need to have a label to work.

“Okay, but don’t you find Amy hot?”

“I find her aesthetically pleasing, if that is what you mean.”

“… and what about the Doctor?”

“Well, he sure is a sight for sore eyes.”

“I will just say it very crudely: wouldn’t you bang one or either of them if you had the opportunity?”

“No, why would I?”

(He has sex dreams about Simmons from time to time, but that is normal, yes? To have sex dreams about someone with whom you are close, about whom you care very deeply? He refuses to acknowledge that sometimes those “sex dreams” are not “dreams” at all, because he is fully awake during them.)

He tells Simmons that her research is dope, but that it doesn’t feel quite right, that he is just Weird and they should leave it at that. He doesn’t tell her why.

He still wigmans for her from time to time, but always comes home alone.

“Don’t you get lonely, though?”

“How could I, when I have you?”

“You are absolutely right.”

Right before they are assigned to the Bus, Simmons is courting this legs-for-forever-ballet-dancer during a night out, and Fitz gets stuck with her brother. They hit it off quickly, talking about football (real football) and engines. They end up making out heavily in a dark corner. Things are going sort-of-smoothly, but when the boy asks him- very gentlemanly, by the way- if Fitz wants to go back to his place, Fitz feels like someone is pouring a bucket of iced water over his head, and he flees. Simmons never gets to find out if the dancer is as flexible as she claimed to be.

“At least we found out that is not a gender-related thing, yeah?”

“Shut up, Simmons. Just shut up.”

It’s strange living in the Bus, so close to so many people, after living only with Simmons for so long. He feels a little dizzy, getting used to new people, and he flirts with Skye almost unintentionally, because he truly likes all of them- and Ward is so way out of his league-, and when Simmons points out that she thinks that Skye may not be picking up on his flirting, he shrugs. That’s almost better, in a way. He doesn’t know how he would react if she flirted back, and had expectations about him, and.  

When he realizes that he is in love with Jemma, the sexual urges don’t come right away. First comes the desire to kiss every inch of her face, and hold her close, and tell her that he loves her. Which are, frankly, some of the few non-sexual things they still don’t do together.

The sexual desire for her comes with time, but it is so shocking and new that it almost throws him off balance. One day she is leaning down on one of the lab’s counters, and he just side-looks at her and his brain goes Damn, would I tap that, with no intermission whatsoever. He starts hyperventilating, and has to shoo away her concern before things get even more awkward.

Things only escalate from there, and he feels deeply ashamed, because she is his best friend, and her own woman, and a human being, for god’s sake, but he still gets bombarded by sudden desires to lick every freckle he knows she has on that milky white skin of hers. He tries to repress so much consciously that his dreams get absolutely insane.     

He wonders, sometimes, why did this sudden change happen? Why with Simmons, of all people? He has been so apathetic about sex for all his life, why that had to change? Deep down, he knows why, but he doesn’t have much time to process, because the fall happens, and then the pod, and then everythings goes to hell.

While she is away, he tries his best to not think of her on any romantic or sexual capacity. He just thinks about his best friend, and about how much he misses her, and about how much he needs her, and about how betrayed he feels. All the hurt and all the anger and all his struggles cover up all his other feelings pretty well.

But then Jemma comes back, and she is even more pretty than he remembered, and she is sad all the time, and he is angry all the time, and wanting to kiss her is the least of his problems, to be honest.

Life within S.H.I.E.L.D. is never easy. There is always something crumbling down, someone on the verge of dying, someone on the verge of taking over the world, someone keeping a terrible secret, someone gaining superpowers. But maybe there are certain  things that they still can make okay. When he leaves the Playground with Fury’s cube, his favourite sandwich and a Love, Jemma forever imprinted inside his eyelids, his heart is beating faster than it has beaten in a long time, and there is no time, there is never truly time, but he still says to himself So this is what being thoroughly turned on feels like.   

Life within S.H.I.E.L.D. is never easy. He doesn’t have time to relish what she told him before he took off, much less to savour the triumph of asking her out, that she is taken away.

He gets single-minded after that, trying to get her back. (Or he wish he could be single-minded. He keeps getting distracted by the curve of her lips saying oh after he asked her out, by the texture and the weight of her hand on his, by the intensity of her voice when she said maybe there is. He misses her with a fervor he never thought was possible, he misses her in every way he ever had her and in some ways he never did, and it is an all-consuming feeling. He dreams about her, sometimes in platonic-ways, sometimes in so-not-platonic-ways, and he wakes up in twisted, sodden sheets, crying bitter tears.)    

Having her back in his arms, tattered and bruised, scrawny and dehydrated, but alive, is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Jemma is having a hard time adapting back to Earth. That’s okay. He can wait. He has waited twenty-eight years. She is healing, and he can wait forever for her. Her happiness has always been his priority.

The harder part is that she is not opening up to him, and he can feel her running between his fingers like water. Or like the sand of that goddamned planet. She dresses on his clothes and walks around the base holding his hand, and searches him for comfort during sleepless nights, but that doesn’t mean that she is talking to him, and he wants to respect her time to process and her boundaries, but his heart aches for her.   

Then she tells him about Will, and it’s like someone filled up his lungs with liquid lead. It makes total sense, just because she is the sun of his solar system, it doesn’t mean that the feeling had to be reciprocal, does it?

But he is still her best friend and there is still a good man stranded on a planet for fourteen years, and there is still work to do. There is always work to do. He has no right to grieve something that never was. (Never, ever, has he felt more guilty for the way he just wants her, not even while she was missing.)

There is a recording of her talking about how much she thought about him and about them, about the future she wants with him, and she claims that it was the more clear-headed she ever was. It takes every ounce of willpower on his body to not jump her then and there. (It’s so confusing. What is he finding so arousing: the promise of a future, the love confessions, her? How is he supposed to tell all of them apart, define what is the source of his emotions?)

Then they are screaming at each other, in the lab nonetheless, and she shouts that he dived into a hole in the universe for her, and he has to kiss her, because she still doesn’t understand that it’s the less he would do for her. While he kisses her, his blood turns to liquid fire. He never knew there were so many nerve endings in his body. (Or he knew. But he never felt them before.) It’s hopeless, anyway. They are hopeless.

(There are some things he never talks about; hearing Jemma scream, unable to do anything to alleviate her pain, having to listen to her asking him to let them kill her, are only some of them.)  

When Ward teases him about killing Will because he slept with Simmons, he tells him to grow up because Ward is a dick. And he is not a killer. And Will is a decent human being who deserves so much better. And Jemma is not his possession. And what he feels for her goes so much deeper than just sex, not that Ward would ever understand that.

In a way, he knows he did the right thing in Maveth. But the guilt is real, the responsibility is real, the weight of Jemma’s disappointed gaze is very real.

Everything is too much, and he needs to take a step back. It doesn’t matter that his heart pleads for her, his mind pleads for her, his body pleads for her. Some things are just not meant to be.

Jemma tells him I miss you, and Can we start over, and maybe they should do that, so Fitz doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he doesn’t think he can.

Apparently it was a long-con, because she then takes his own quantum physics explanation and turns it against him, and says that the future is set and that they are inevitable. His heart literally melts.

She is highkey flirting with him, and his body is screaming at him I have only ever wanted this one thing, why are you denying it to me? Some things apparently are inevitable, or at least they are, because he is not sure who kissed who, the only thing that matters is that they are kissing, and it’s magnificent.

Her hands are on his neck, she is sitting on his lap, and Fitz’s body feels electrical, like a high-wring spring, full of potential energy ready to be transformed into kinetic.  

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t want to push too fast either.”

“What?”

“You know, with everything with you, and, and, and sex. I’m cool with whatever makes you comfortable. I don’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

“Jemma?”

“What?”

“You are rambling.”

“Oh.”

“I will let you know if I’m not comfortable with something, okay? But I- well, let’s say that I have thought about it. Before.”

“You mean… sex?”

“… yeah.”

“Sex, sex and, and us?”

“You don’t have to put it like that, like, like I am some kind of-of pervert, or something!”

“Oh, Fitz.”    

“We should consider all variables as we move forward, because things are bound to get… complicated.” He needs to ask for confirmation that nothing will change between them if- when- they have sex. He is scared, scared of how much he wants her, scared of messing this up, scared of being in unknown territory. Sex is not a thing that comes natural to him, and combined with their complicated history… yeah, chances just aren’t good. He wants her deliriously, but he is also scared shitless. He has thought it over and over so many times that the only solution that comes to his mind is to stop thinking and just listen to what his body and his heart are telling him.

“I’ve been thinking about it, about us, and, um, it clicked. The crux of our relationship is like the singularity in transhumanism. Singularity is the defining moment-”

“-the point at which a measurable variable becomes infinite.”

“Our friendship is linear. Simple, comfortable.”

“Effortless, really.”

“As soon as we deviate from that path, change becomes exponential. The point of no return.”

“Are you comparing us sleeping together with crossing the event horizon? It’s quite lovely when you think about it like that. And also terrifying.”

“Yeah, exactly. So, we should stop thinking altogether… “

“… and just do.”       

(He feels very comforted that Jemma also finds this experience a little terrifying.)

He is not nervous anymore when he gets to the hotel room. So many things have passed during the last two hours that the only thing he wants is her, her, her, in all the ways she wants to give herself to him. And most importantly, he wants to give himself to her in every way imaginable, and that’s a certainty that he has never had before.

They laugh so much during sex, and that is truly the best thing that could have happened to him. They are still the same people, this experience is not changing the baselines of who they are, and that’s good. His love is real, his desire is real, and right now, everything he has to give is for her.

[unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot]

for Pride prompts; I'd love something featuring Fitz exploring the ace spec and where he falls on it (whether that's ace/gray/demi/etc is up to you). (Jemma's identity & her state with it is also up to you, you're welcome to bounce off any of my fic scenarios if you like &/or do whatever you want :P)

Thank you so much for the prompt!!! I’m taking Ace and/or Aro Pride Prompts if anyone else would like to send me one.

‘Cause what we’ve got going is good

Summary: Jemma wants sex. Fitz doesn’t. What does that mean?

This is in the same ‘verse as this fic

Read on AO3

Leopold Fitz would be forever grateful to his friend, Daisy Johnson, for introducing him to Jemma Simmons. Meeting Jemma was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was brilliant, she laughed at his jokes, and she didn’t mind when he info-dumped about monkeys or needed to stim because she was autistic too, and would info-dump right back.

They’d been dating for nearly three months now, and it was going really well, at least from Fitz’s point of view. They spent nearly all of their free time together: studying, binge-watching Netflix, or researching their special interests. Daisy had jokingly begun to refer to them as FitzSimmons and said they were psychically linked.

Their first kiss had been on their one month anniversary date. Jemma had taken Fitz to the planetarium and spent the whole time info-dumping to him about astronomy and constellations, which he’d loved. It wasn’t a special interest of his like monkeys were, but he’d always found space and the stars fascinating, and he loved learning about it, especially from Jemma.

Since then, they’d made out a few times, but never anything more. Jemma was frustrated by this, he could tell, but she never pushed him to go further, and always stopped when he requested. Lately, though, she’d been dropping hints about getting more physically intimate. Fitz sometimes had trouble reading between the lines, but he had no trouble understanding what Jemma wanted.

The only issue was, well, Fitz had never really cared about physical intimacy or sex. He had never once looked at a person and thought that he’d like to have sex with them. He enjoyed the physical sensations that came with jerking off, but the mess afterwards was sticky and gross, and the pleasure he got during the activity wasn’t strong enough to get him to do it very often, or rather, not as often as he’d heard other guys talk about.

Fitz paced around his dorm room, flapping his hands anxiously as he thought. He’d never cared about his lack of sexual desire before; he’d never had a reason to care. But now he was dating the perfect woman, and she wanted to have sex with him, and he knew most guys would kill to be in his position, but Fitz had never been like most guys. He knew that most of the things that made him different were because he was autistic, but he didn’t think he could attribute this to autism. After all, Jemma was autistic, and she clearly had sexual desires.

Fitz retreated to his bed, burrowed under his weighted blanket, put one of his chewable fidgets in his mouth, and picked up his tablet. When in doubt, do some research. He typed ‘not wanting sex’ into the search bar and hit enter.

Most of the hits on the first page were about women no longer wanting sex with their partners even though they had previously enjoyed sex. Fitz chewed harder on his fidget and went to the second page. The top article on the second page was titled Asexuality: Some people just don’t want to have sex. He clicked the link and skimmed through. The article itself wasn’t helpful, but at least it gave him something else to search for. He typed ‘asexuality’ into the search bar and hit enter. The very first link was the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. He clicked on the link and began to explore.

A knock on the door and Jemma’s voice calling out “Fitz!” startled him from his research. His chewy fidget fell out of his mouth. He glanced at the time on his tablet and saw that it was evening, and Jemma had been finished with her biology lab for twenty minutes. “Fitz, are you there?” Jemma called out as the knocking continued. He got off his bed and went to open the door.

“Are you okay?” Jemma asked as soon as the door opened. “I’ve been knocking for ten minutes.”

“Sorry,” Fitz told her, moving aside to let her in. “I was hyperfocusing and I didn’t hear you.”

“Capuchins?” Jemma guessed with a smile.

Fitz shook his head and stuck his fidget back in his mouth. He picked up his tablet and then handed it to her, showing her the numerous tabs exploring the asexuality spectrum. He turned his back and went to stare out the window while she looked through it.

“Fitz?” Jemma questioned, and he didn’t turn around. “Do you—are you asexual?” she asked.

Fitz shrugged. There were two guys throwing a frisbee back and forth and he tracked the movement of the disc as he thought about how to respond. After a few minutes, he took the chewy fidget out of his mouth and said, “I’m not really interested in sex. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Jemma asked.

Fitz turned around to face her, staring at his bed behind her. “Because you want sex, and I don’t. We’re not compatible.”

Jemma scoffed. “Fitz, that’s ridiculous. I don’t care if you don’t want sex. I—”

“Yes, you do!” Fitz interrupted her. “You’ve been making comments whenever there’s a sex scene on a show or in a movie.” He put on a high-pitch voice and did his best attempt at an English accent. “Oh, doesn’t that look fun, Fitz?” He went back to his usual Scottish accent. “And when we’re kissing and I say stop, you always look disappointed. I hate that I’m disappointing you.”

Jemma opened her mouth and then closed it. Fitz noticed she was squeezing her hands into fists and handed her one of his stress balls to squeeze instead. He waited patiently as she figured out what she wanted to say.

Finally she put the stress ball aside and reached out to grab his hand. “I do like sex,” she began. “And I would like to have sex with you, Fitz, but not if you don’t want it too. That’s not how relationships work.”

Fitz wiggled his fingers and she let go of his hand so he could twist his fingers together. “I’m not completely opposed to the idea of sex,” he told her, “in theory.”

“Okay,” Jemma said.

“But, if I never want it, you’re okay with that?” he asked, just to make sure.

“Yes,” Jemma said immediately.

Fitz nodded. “Okay.”

“We could make a list,” Jemma suggested, “of things you’re comfortable with right now, and things you might want to explore in the future, and things you’ll never want to do.”

“I like cuddling,” Fitz told her as she pulled a notebook and pen out of her backpack. “I like holding hands. I like kissing, but the making out causes my body to react and that’s just confusing right now.”

“What else?” Jemma asked after she’d written what he’d said down.

Fitz shrugged. “Can I have some time to think about it?” he asked.

“Of course!” Jemma said, closing the notebook. She put it back in her backpack. “Want to go to dinner?”

“Yeah,” Fitz said. “I want cake.” He exchanged his chewy fidget necklace for his lanyard with his student ID and he and Jemma walked hand-in-hand to the dining hall. “Did you know that there’s a connection between asexual people and cake?” he asked as they walked.

“Really?” Jemma asked. “Tell me about it.”

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Green Wing“

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Julia Vickerman, Cheyenne Curtis

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

"Superflyalicious!" Actual quote from the episode.

The episode starts with the Reboot Puffs and the Professor volunteering for a retirement home. Blossom, Bubbles, and the Professor are okay with it, but Buttercup isn't. The rascally little green princess would rather complain about how old people smell while a sad trumpet plays.

Bubbles disagrees, taking the position of Gallant to Buttercup's Goofus. She even says that she likes their smell. Buttercup invalidates her opinion by telling her that she likes the smell of earwax. In a normal cartoon, that should be the end of it.

In this cartoon, Bubbles literally shoves her stub into Buttercup’s usually non-existent ear, pulls out earwax, and sniffs it with magically appearing nostrils. It is often said that showing is better than telling, but I think I'd rather see Buttercup as exaggerating Bubbles' love for everything than having Bubbles prove that she is an alien. Also, they don't have nostrils.

Buttercup continues to complain, but the Professor assures her that hanging out with the elderly can be fun. Buttercup is forced to play Bingo.

At least, they call it Bingo. The amount of spots on the grid suggest the writers think Bingo only has four letters. Buttercup is not very happy, but the Professor is. When he gets a bingo, he gloats at the guy right next to him! They really are playing up the sitcom dad angle with the Professor in this episode, which would be more apparent later.

After his Bingo-fueled childishness, the Professor gives Buttercup other options: scrapbooking with Bubbles, or joining Blossom's jazzercise class. I guess nerd character equals Richard Simmons?

Getting as tired with Buttercup as I am, the Professor grabs her, and forces her to sit with an elderly lady named Edith, voiced by none other than Cree Summer. Buttercup introduces herself, only for Edith to make fun of her name. I approve, because it's Reboot Buttercup she's making fun of.

In an attempt to impress her, she throws bread in the air and burns it with her eye beams. Edith is unimpressed by burnt breakfast, not really caring that a 6 year old girl just fired death from her eyes. It does remind her of a time where superheroes were far better: 70's blaxploitation films!

At the Bank of Townsville, that latter word appearing in this reboot about as often as an actual fight scene, the "superflyalicious" Mackaderm is about to rob the bank. I thought it was Pack-A-Derm, because he steals things, but they really use the word "mack" with a character that is all but stated to be a pimp elephant.

Before he can get his "baddy daddy diamonds", another direct quote from the show...

...in comes Green Wing, the "grooviest superhero around"! She's essentially a superhero version of Foxy Brown, a character already parodied by Cree Summer's role in Drawn Together. Mackaderm charges with a "mack attack", which sounds wrong to me. She jumps over Mackaderm, who runs into a wall, and an explosion happens for no reason whatsoever. I guess this is their way to avoid having to animate an actual fight scene to avoid any "fantasy violence".

Buttercup is about as impressed by this as Edith was at her toast-burning skills. One of the reasons is that while the superheroine's name is Green Wing, she can't even fly! It's almost as if Buttercup doesn't know that being able to fly isn't a common thing among humans.

Then again, even the show tends to forget that.

After getting them tied up, how she did it being a mystery due to the show's aforementioned fear of actual fight scenes, she unveils who Elephant Pimp is by slapping his mask off. I am very glad to say that he is just person in disguise, because I don't have to put him in the same category as all the other talking animals that give Bubbles less of a reason to exist. The Mack Daddy Elephant turns out to be...

...famous 19th century chemist Louis Pasteur? Well, I guess they needed some educational value for the young'ns. Then a worm with a baby's face shows up to congratulate her. And then a talking disco ball tells everyone to party. And then the episode turns into Painbow for 3 seconds.

Chalking it up to "old people, am I right?", Buttercup doesn't believe her story, but Edith says she was there. She leans down as if she's going to tell a secret, after dozing off because, "old people, am I right?", and yells that she IS Green Wing! Buttercup still doesn't believe her, and tries to put Edith to sleep with a "beyond lame" record with someone named the Blue Jeanie. Edith tells her to not play that record, as playing the record will free him. Then she leaves.

Bubbles and Blossom show up to prove their existence, and are impressed that Buttercup met a superhero, as they are superheroes! If there's any claim the writers need to show instead of tell instead of Bubbles' earwax obsession, it's that claim. Since Bubbles is there, and Blossom essentially disappears for most of the episode, Buttercup tries to dress her up as herself.

Bubbles: Hi, I'm Buttercup! I'm mean! (makes grumpy old man face)

At least she didn't make a nose this time. This leads to a scene where the Professor actually confuses her for Buttercup. One would think a guy who can create life out of sweets and unknown chemicals, among many other things, would be able to tell the difference between his blonde "daughter" and his brunette "daughter".

Buttercup suddenly gets an interest in the Blue Genie album, even though minutes before, she thought it would be "beyond lame". They really had to find some way to get the plot moving. Right before she puts the needle on the record, Edith comes back in her Green Wing attire, proving that she is indeed Green Wing! This comes with a rather detailed vertical panorama shot of her wrinkly behind in spandex.

...

I have to make that, don't I?

This show won an award for best family entertainment from an organization that honored women in media. Just wanted to let people know that. Unfortunately, she’s far too late, and Buttercup plays the record, unleashing...

...the Blue Jeanie! He doesn't grant wishes, nor does he wear jeans, but he does have the ability to make people dance by shooting beams at them. Kind of reminds me of that one villain that I hope I will never see again. He even shoots Blossom and Bubbles with it, making this another episode where the most boyish character has to save the two girly characters. How feminist.

Buttercup attempts to fight him one-on-one, but his dancing is too fast for someone who had once flew so fast, she accidently travelled through time. He eventually grabs her, and, to no surprise...

Elvis Throw, Girl Down. Womp womp. Admittedly, the Blue Jeanie seems to have magical powers, but that guy can't be as strong as Terminator Unicorn. As Buttercup gets flung into the wall like the super-powerful superhero she is, Green Wing charges to the Blue Genie...very, very slowly. Because she's old. Run, Blossom, Run and The Wrinklegruff Gals did this exact same joke. This series has a issue with people older than 30, both in the cartoon and in real life.

Here's the entire fight scene: Green Wing throws a pitcher of water on him, ruining his outfit. She then tells Buttercup to use her eye lasers, which somehow just makes his clothes shrink. Well, I guess if he can fling a girl who can lift buildings full of people, I guess he could survive a frying. Green Wing plays the record again, causing Blue Jeanie to get sucked back in, and she attempts to keep the record in a safe place where nobody can play it.

Hmm, maybe she's just trying to ensure his spot on the rogue's gallery...

...or she could accidentally kill him by dropping his record. His soul even screams in a puff of smoke. Kind of brutal for a series that’s afraid to show a punch. The episode ends with a fist bump with choir text humor calling them "soul sisters", because they're not tired of that. Review over.

Does the title fit?

The title is clever, because Green Wing is the name of the superheroine in the episode! ...and that’s it. Honestly, I’d rather have titles like this than non-puns like the last one.

How does it stack up?

I feel bad giving this episode a worse rating than The Last Donnycorn, but it just didn't hit any of the high notes that episode did for me. The character of the week is better, but anything is better than the hell-horn.

Next, it’s an episode called 15 Minutes of Fame. If I were to guess, it’s probably going to have internet references. Oh boy.

← The Last Donnycorn ☆ 15 Minutes of Fame →