#BUT I FOUND SOME TIME TO SHITPOST

[swordsonnet]

Hallo mein Name ist Ebenholz Dunkel'heit Demenz Raben Weg und ich habe langes ebenholz-schwarzes Haar (so habe ich meinen Namen gekriegt) mit lila Strähnen und roten Spitzen das bis zur Mitte meines Rückens geht und eisblaue Augen wie durchsichtige Tränen und viele Leute sagen mir, dass ich wie Alma Unterwindseite aussehe (A. d. A.: wenn du nich weist wer sie ist dann verpiss dich von hier!). Ich bin nicht mit Gerhard Weg verwandt, aber ich wünschte ich wäre es, weil er ein verdammt heißer Feger ist. Ich bin ein Vampir, aber meine Zähne sind gerade und weiß. Ich habe blasse weiße Haut. Ich bin auch eine Hexe, und ich gehe auf eine Zauberschule namens Schweinwarzen in England, wo ich in der siebten Jahrgangsstufe bin (ich bin siebzehn). Ich bin ein Grufti (falls das euch nicht klar war) und ich trage vor allem schwarz. Ich liebe Heißes Thema und kaufe dort alle meine Klamotten. Heute zum Beispiel trug ich ein schwarzes Korsett mit passender Spitze drum herum und einen schwarzen Leder-Minirock, rosa Netzstrümpfe und schwarze Springerstiefel. Ich trug schwarzen Lippenstift, weiße Grundierung, schwarzen Augenkonturenstift und roten Lidschatten. Ich ging aus Schweinwarzen raus. Es schneite und regnete, also war keine Sonne da, worüber ich sehr glücklich war. Viele Popper starrten mich an. Ich zeigte ihnen den Stinkefinger.

[marciliedonato]

When the rhythm is glad... there's nothing to be SAD ! 🕺 🪩🤩🎶

Evangelion + planet of the bass (inspo)

[katyspersonal]

Bruuuhhhhhhh I constantly forget that when I see environment and read descriptions that shed light on horrifying mad experiments of Seath/Aldia/Micolash/Maria or Laurence (uncertain whose experiments Research Hall was) I am supposed to feel "disturbed" and "disgusted" and "acknowledge it as horror", not be excited and like I'd wag my tail if I had one -_- Having "intended experience" in Soulsborne games is too hard for me smh

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

🐠🐠🐠

[akikos-tribble-army]

Random thing I learnt while doing research for a paper:

The beginning of German (radio) broadcasting history started in the so called Vox-Haus (Vox-house) with the broadcast of the first radio show for entertainment.

And there is a TV channel in Germany which is called VOX and its colour scheme is red-black.

Vox, I have questions.

[vellhighbandi]

Sharmaji (Not Namkeen)

Naam to suna hi hoga (a million apologies for any of the self entitled Sharma's you might have encountered...) Technically speaking intro dena humko aata nahi kyunki hum hai distracted ultra pro max insaan. Bakte bakte kab kahan kis tangent pe nikal jate humko khudko pata nhi hota. The thing is don't be surprised if you randomly find words that don't make sense (they do, just not to you) cause I'm a multilingual insaan with a few words of lotsa languages thrown into my vocabulary making a right khichdi of words and feelings up there. But then again sometimes I don't even understand what's going on up there myself so we can drink to that. (I don't drink. We'll be getting high on jaljeera and air)

As for this blog, it's a metaphysical (is that the right word?) representation of me (I guess?) Not really sure. Definitely this insanity is a part of me. But is not all of me. I mean agar khudko utna accha se jaan hi liya hota to phir zindagi me confusion thori hota. Chale gye hote hum bhi kahin pahado me zindagi ke sach ki khoj me. As for the people I have met here. They are downright amazing. Maane kya hi bataye. Simp karna ho, ya laash thikane lagane ke upaay dhundna ho, they will have my back. (Oh and don't even think of hurting them, you won't just regret it but regret your entire existence. And that's a fucking promise)

Wanna read me turn Lilac's brain children into psychologists horror?

Compromised . Chapters : One, Two, Three.

To coming to the reason why me actually went ahead made this intro post... My tags:-

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

tragedy: when you look back at the crack ships you latched onto in niche media as a kid and go 'hold on, little me was cooking like a champ,' but it was before you reached the age where it clicked that WAIT YOU CAN SHIP GAY STUFF TOO? so you know you missed out on the kind of gay food that only a small autistic child replaying the same game a dozen times can make

[lovemeonlytilthespring]

So... I did... something. Several things. Take

[despair-tea]

She wasn't wrong, I don't think.

[ralseinumberonebiggestsupporter]

ralsei the very good wingman

hey who even are these guys

[yourockthebeatofmyheart]

Can this guy just mind his own fucking business, honestly

[guinevereslancelot]

applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏

[oberon-king-of-the-cherries]

I think they should be allowed to put, idk, crack cocaine in cat medicine. Get them hooked so they want it stuffed down their throats.

[the-flaneur]

the worst attempt of nnn ever

pairing: f1 grid x gn!reader [headcanon]

ft. the whole 2024 grid

summary: technically everyone wins, aka who's most likely to fail nnn the quickest

warnings: shitpost/crack, very suggestive content and some 18+, MDNI, NSFW -> smut

[masterlist] [requests]

fail first

lewis

this man has zero discipline when it comes to you

absolute zero, zip, zilch, nada

normally he's on you 24/7

but when it comes to the end of the season and most things have been tied up and he dgaf, what better way to end each week than by fucking your brains out

aka 25/8 times a week

so when you attempt to propose to do nnn "for fun" on the 31st, he glares at you, calls you dumb before fucking you silly overnight (until the 1st) so that you never suggest it again that month/year

(he also bribes other drivers and wags to make sure that you are NOT included in their nnn plans)

zhou

shockingly in second place

but only cause he loves you too much, finds nnn a weird tradition (when you explained the basics) and just wants to snuggle with you and sweetcorn in bed

like why make yourself unconfortable and horny when he could just be happy and satisfied (and still horny) with you :D

lando

man is so fired up about the championship battle that he doesn't entertain the notion and just fucks you the minute november starts just to make sure you know not to fuck with him

he only manages to hang onto longer than lewis and zhou cause he was tired and forgot what time it was

carlos

had planned on competing with lando, since they had done it the year before, and the year before that (aka when they were teamates)

but when he found out from you (who found out from lando's partner) that they had already failed, he said to try for a few days

you said you didn't want to

"but it might be good for us" carlos had complained, saying something no one had ever said

and so you just like seduced him like five days later then BAM WHAM, he's back to blowing your back out

not that he needed that much encouragement

pierre

just wanted to fuck you in peace for halloween after you showed up in a very hot outfit

but then charles was like oohhhh we should try this

(f u charles)

but then almost cried in the shower when he realised he couldn't jerk off either

you heard him whimpering, laughed about it and then sucked him off

he tried to hide it, but charles found out anyways

max

is usually too busy to fuck you during race weekends so, he just failed when he like normally fucked you

cause he wanted to fuck you

cause yeah...

so....yeah...

oscar

likes to pretend he's disciplined and has lots of mental restraint

(he doesn't have restraint when it comes to you)

tried to keep some distance, aka by not arriving together at the paddock

but then failed after he saw you with franco, got jealous, said f this shit and then took you in his driver's room

checo

didn't give two flying fucks

only got interested cause evens was talking about it

but throws the challenge out the windoow the minute you insinuate that he seems "weak" about you

kmag

thinks its childish but still wanted to try it

got actually comfortable with it, until you made a sexy joke

hulk

lasts longer cause kmag found it childish

but still wanted to try it too after kmag told him about it

ocon

just wanted to beat gasly

lance

wanted to fuck you

so he complained to his father about the challenge and how you were going give him a reward at the end

so evil stepmum kdrama style, lawerence comes in and tries to give you envelopes of cash to get you to fuck stroll

you gleefully refuse

you manage to negotiate three ashton martins, a ferrari laferrari, and more, before still teasing him

to which he just gives up, and waits for you

george

for those actually dedicated to doing it, he set up the betting pool and "official" rules

(no charles...touching and edging yourself is not "illegal" but you're running the sPIrIt of the challenge)

but like lost out in the second week, when he saw you were having an amazing hair day

said ok i wanna pull on it *with grabby hands* and then gave up

(everyone mocked him relentlessly afterwards)

valterri

super chill about it

tried it only cause you wanted to try it for fun

actually found it hard to be away from you (only cause you love him so much too)

but you managed to reach the third week before simply saying

"that's enough"

franco

had never heard of it

but defs wanted to try after he learnt a about it

got really pissed off by the second week cause you were also teasing him sooooo much

but you kept refusing

basically had to beg his way into convincing you "near" it, and only seeing him get really pouty did you give in

yuki

swears and glares daggers at you the entire three weeks

but he's gotta prove that big things come in small packages

and actually makes it almost to week four before passing out from sheer horniness

fernando

actually lasts longer than most people thought he would

(liam spitefully calls out that he thought nando's blue balls would fall off)

is happy he is technically the best wdc at nnn (even moreso that lewis lost first)

makes it to like the last couple of days

you get bored and tired

so now fernando is bored and tired and just fucks you

alex

certified genz brainrotter

ofc know what it is, and is demandin to win it and prove he's at least NOT a lost in one area (his words not yours)

makes it to the last few days, before you trick into letting you give him a handjob

tries to argue technicalities with george

but by then nov its over and he just gives up

charles

used all his ferrari training in patience to last this long

wanted to tell you to kys when you suggested it

but eventually he got soooo into doing it, he was policing you

however he losses cause he was stupid

you're on his jet

he forgets time zones exist

thought he won

sent a gloating text message to the gc

and [redacted] beats him on the technicality

liam

this man is going all in no regrets, gambling style 😎

even if he didn't propose it, he's definetly the most eager to prove himself (especially to fernando and checo)

he's setting up strict rules to ensure that his dick does not get anywhere near you when sleeping, eating or breathing

(in the last few days he desperately asks you to sleep in the guest bedroom cause he's this close 🤏 to caving in)

however, he resists and gets bragging rights over everyone for the rest of the year.

fail last/succeed

permanent f1 taglist (comment or msg me to join)

@charlesgirl16 @tallrock35 @sweate-r-weathe-r @unlikelystay @alex-wotton

@daisyfreecs @euphorihan @louloucs @oikarma @dying-inside-but-its-classy

@fadingcloudballoon

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