#BUT AT LEAST THE STORYLINE I CARED ABOUT THE MOST FINISHED KINDA OKAY

[mako-mahko]

The power of yaoi, y'all... It saved them

[haethyre]

X-Men 97 Thoughts

My personal opinions

Okay. So I grew up with X-men The Animated Series. It was one of my fave shows. It always came on late at night on Toon Disney (at times i shouldnt have been awake LMAO) so it has a special place in my heart. I was very surprised that of all things they decided to "continue" it. So, when I heard about it, I did a full rewatch (even that ungodly last season where quality took a nosedive OOF) Anywhoo! Started and finished 97. Those who know me best know at heart I am a big OG fan of my fandoms and am trepidacious of reboots/even continuation reboots, bc lets be honest most of them are all about stomping on the source material, SO I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Xmen 97.

You could really see how much they tried to capture the feel of the old show and the characters. The voice replacements were surprisingly well done. (i mean, Wolverine is a little off, but i'll give the guy a break its been like...28 yrs XD ) The animation looks amazing. Even if i'm taking some points off for the hair hfgjhdf haha

Now the storyline.... The elephant in the room. We all know the one. I have been a Romy fan since I was a kid and yes, when I was a young girl in Borders, I did come across the comic that showed the RoguexMagneto storyline. I hated it then and I hate it now. Its just...weird. (Again, my opinions. If you like it, power to you. Enjoy, but its not for me and this post isn't for you) but its even weirder in the show, and ill tell you why. As a Marvel comic reader, I'm well acquainted with the fact that everyone gets with everyone. That is just a trope of Marvel comics. All ships of imaginable and unimaginable proportions happen. BUT I think when doing this, they really should have thought it through a bit more in context of the show's universe alone . Bc I'll be real, if you're coming in from TAS, this kinda hits you out of nowhere. She had no form of connection with Magneto in the past show. Like....they had a makeshift funeral for him and she didn't even care. She was just worried about Gambit being stuck in space. So, their "secret" just seems so random and out of place. I do like that it was used for her to understand fully her feelings for Gambit, but man was it frustrating to see him just killed off when he was one of the best characters.(even if it was really well done and the animation, again, was amazing)

There's talk of him coming back as "Death" which is a storyline I'm not familiar with but I also heard talk of the original showrunner idealizing a timeline where Rogue and Magneto have kids....so... IDK It all just left me a bit frustrated and disheartened bc Romy was like one of my earliest ships before i knew ships were a thing. To see what happened to it made me sad, even if it could be part of a long game to get them to their HEA. (and thats always an if bc we don't know, even if the original guy isn't in charge anymore)

Other things that bugged me a little but not too much. Gonna bring up Morph. I love Morph. They were always a fave and they went through so much to finally be back on the team again. I really don't understand why they changed their character design tho? I read it was to make Morph look more like the character changeling from the comics but this is again something that doesnt make sense coming out of TAS bc Morph always had that other appearance throughout the entire show. I mean...it could have at least been explained... Also, as far as the feelings for Wolverine, i kinda found it funny XD bc in TAS, it always seemed like it was the other way around jkhfgjkdfh Wolverine was so attached to Morph and wouldn't let 'em go. That being said, I kinda wish they didn't go this route if its only meant to be unrequited and sad. AGAIN. I know. Marvel is all about unrequited drama jfhdkjfdh but hasn't Morph been through enough??? That being said, I love the ship even though I know its doomed. Wolverine is the worst person to be down bad for tho. Mans falls in love at the drop of a hat fhghdfjhsd

Other than these couple things, I really loved the show. Some people said "why are they shoving so much story into such a short amount of time" XD The storyteller in me would like to agree but i will be honest, there is nothing more like Xmen TAS than smooshed storylines jkdfhfkjds with random one-off eps in between. XD So, I was fine with it.

I liked the conclusion with Scott and Jean, as messy as it was. The family fun time was a pleasure to watch.

Xavier and Magneto. They really highlighted their messy, but still devoted relationship from the original series, so that was nice to see. I was glad to see him back in the red suit LMAO bc the one he was wearing all season was weird for me.

I loved Jubilee's journey, and it was cool that they brought Alyson Court back for that one episode.

I was very pleased overall that they didn't tone things down and since censors are different these days, they could show more stuff they couldn't in the 90s. So, I am looking forward to more seasons (and pleeeeease for the love of god give Romy back to me i am begging)

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE. NOPE :)

NOPE

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sadder than I have ever been

Okay that's exaggerating but

With a tv show one of the saddest xd

A MEMORIALLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔���💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I AM NOT OKAY

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU SHAUN

I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU BUT I DO NOT CARE

Okay okay I can calm down

About that at least

I swear Shaun if you focus on other stuff even to avoid your pain I will die

Yeah I get it Lea :'(( that sucks

And yeah I am sorry Shaun xd

Yeah

Ope???

WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

OH GOSH that's awful o.o

Lim????

Uhhh not this time xdd 😭😭💔

Oh noooo :'(((

Bro he literally can't operate xd

Oh gosh this is all so chaotic 😭😭💔 not good stuff xd

Not gonna lie kinda angry that we have a big event to be focusing on when Asher literally just died but maybe it'll help distract me xd

Well

The Good news is

The Rookie couldn't possible go worse

Knock on wood

I'm just sitting here in silence

My gosh

Huh

Wow

Gosh xd

Okay, that's the last my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

. . .

I really loved this episode!! I don't think I can ever watch it again xdd

sigh

I want to do this while my emotions are fresh (and it'll distract me) but also I don't know if I can bear to

Especially sitting here (not literally) in the emotions of it all

Maybe a quick one

Idk

He deserves better than that though also xd

Maybe quick with a longer one later?

. . . I want to just go forget about it

But I think I need to process it

Because I'm still shocked and denial

I genuinely did enjoy this episode. I thought it was really well done, and I really liked the storylines in it. And, even though I am absolutely heartbroken, I'm glad Asher at least had good final moments, and the drama his death deserved.

Here's what I'll say about what I knew.

This morning, I woke up and saw and article along the lines of "'The Good Doctor' kills of lead. . ." or something along those lines. I quickly swiped it out of the way and stressed xd. Later, another one came (and here's the surprising part that I did not mention earlier, I believe in my review of last episode) that said something similar, "'The Good Doctor' kills of. . ." (something along those lines) and then, under that, something like "Related to: Jerome Martel". Genuinely, the most likely thing I expected was for Jerome to die. I later saw another article that I quickly avoided sight wise, then covered as I scrolled by down to swipe the notification away. And I glimpsed a picture and Asher and Jerome. I really thought Jerome might die.

I'm glad he survived xd.

But I also believe I thought to myself "I'd rather anyone else. I mean, not Asher, or" and then basically thought of "okay I don't want anyone to die" xd.

Hh.

It's been 25 minutes since I finished the episode xd.

Gosh

Okay, a few quick things about other people

So, I guess,

Onto the individual parts

Dom! Missed you today buddy ❤️. Sure you're slaying, see you again soon :).

Shaun and Lea! Oof on the what's-it-called-ing Steve xd. It's rough and I think they may want to let up sometimes but hopefully it helps them <3. I also hope the complaint doesn't affect Shaun too much, but at the same time, he has been treating Charlie unfairly. Anyway, love them.

Charlie! Segway xd. I feel bad for her. She genuinely was doing really good, and she just made a mistake at the wrong moment. I think Shaun should've been calmed, but I do think she needed to learn that that was not the moment to ask. It sucks, I hate the feeling of being told that I need to stop because someone's trying to focus and I just made a mistake. But she needed to, and I think this is an iffy thing to push her over the edge and make a report. At least I hope the report is on other things, not that specific event. She had some good moments this episode though, love her.

Park! Not too much going on, but he slayed on the case :). It sucks the way it turned out for the patients :(. Also, him at the wedding was sweet :')). Love him <3.

Morgan! Again, not too much, though her conversation with Lim was hilarious lol. Poor Lim in that conversation xD. Of course Morgan's hears all the tea though lol. I also like that she defended Charlie sharing her story :). Anyway, she slayed <3. Love her.

Kalu! He slayed today too :)). Glad that he too- well, not really defended Charlie, but was kinda on her side sometimes. Like they said, they're looking out for the interns :')). I really liked the bit where he quickly explained and she was cool with that - I think it just shows that she can be worked with, if you put in the effort and listen and be patient. Anyway, love him <3.

Glassman and Lim! I'm glad they worked everything out in the end, and that it did help Lim with her mom :'). I'm thinking this was mainly for that, and also so Glassman can have someone to be with in the last season. I still think it was a funky thing to do xd, but I'm glad they're happy lol. And I think it's good what he told Lim, that she can start getting closer with her mom :')). And I'm so sorry for Lim, that she and Clay broke up :((. Her line about being alone nearly broke me (though don't worry, I just had to wait for later for that) 😭❤️. I'm glad it's hopefully going to get better <3. Love them :).

Jordan! Didn't notice till she showed up that she hadn't been there, but I'm really bad at noticing that xd. I thought it was a cool way, a good scene and stuff, of working her in :). And her advice to and conversation with Asher was so good :'DD. I do wish she was here, considering what the episode was and how close and Asher are, but I'm glad we got to focus on his relationship with Jerome. And that at least she was still here ❤️. Love her <3.

So. It's time. I'm going to talk about the rest of the episode first, and then say a little bit. Then, I'm going to go cry a bit more probably, maybe have emo thoughts, and distract myself before I go to bed xd.

Asher and Jerome!! Y'allll I loved the content we got for them this episode :'DD. I mean I hate a fight but, hey, I love angst too lol 👀 xD. Still, I love any screen time for them <3. I certainly didn't agree with Asher's wildin opinions in the beginning xD, but I was still having a fun time. And I'm glad everything worked out (regarding the fight and that stuff). Asher helping with the wedding was so sweet 😭😭😭💔❤️❤️🥺🥰. And the talk he had with the rabbi :'DD :')). I loved that, I know that feeling <3. Also AAAHHHHH their kiss after the wedding 😭😭🥺❤️. I'm not okay <3. At least they got a kiss at a wedding :')). Where the arch thing was and everything xd. Random note that I mentioned in the liveblog, I love that they cook together so much. Anyway, AAAHHHHHH JEROME WAS GOING TO PROPOSE!! HE WAS HIDING THE RING!!! AAAAAHHHHHH :DDDD WHOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎉🎂🎂🎂🎂!! Asher found it too 🥰🥰🥰. He was stressing, aww poor babey <33 :'(, but I'm glad he finally made peace with it and made his decision :')). Also, regarding. . . everything, I'm glad that he knew <3. Also, Asher immediately going to get Jerome a bandaid was so good <3. Loved it :')). They were seriously so good this episode, it was great :'D. I love them so much <333.

Now.

The stuff xd

I was freaking out at the end. Until that yelling (even for a half second into it), I thought it would be Jerome. I was honestly terrified as well that it was a mislead and it still would be. But even more scared for Asher.

I like that he came full circle. I think he deserved that. Deserves.

I read a few articles after finishing the episode, and one, I think something from a writer, said "His last line is "I am a Jew. A gay one, too, and I'm calling the cops" " (or something like that). That he finally truly accept both parts of himself. I'm really proud of him for that, and I'm glad that's how it ended for him <33. It also makes me think of how his literal first line was about that very thing. He grew up Hasidic, before he decided that "if there was a God, He was nothing but a cruel being that I held nothing but contempt for". Then he says "That's when I started going to medical school. And also dating men". Or, something along those lines for all of that. I like the symmetry.

I do appreciate the commentary of it being a hate crime. We as queer people, and Jewish people (though I am not Jewish) are still facing so much bigotry. But I do kinda of wish that I didn't have to see it in the show as well. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I like to just feel that catharsis, and sometimes I just want to see the good sides. That it's not a tragedy.

Like I've already said though, I do appreciate that it got the drama it deserved. Asher went out fighting for what's right, accepting himself, and standing up for people. That's kind of what he's always been about :'). He also went out with an episode that focused largely on him and his journey, along with his relationship, and he got a good music moment at the end lol. Not to mention the angst of it all. And, of course, in the next episode his funeral. Though I do wish there wasn't a huge emergency as well. But (especially with the description specifically saying they'll all be dealing with their personal tragedy as well), it should be interesting to see at least. And again, it'll distract me and then xd. I just think it would also be interesting to see them trying to go through their normal lives as if this huge thing didn't just happen.

Also, something more lighthearted lol, imagine being at a funeral and then half the guests get up and leave 💀. Even knowing they're doctors it's awkward xD, especially since they're some of the people who cared the most about him (😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️). But it's like, that's what happens when you're a doctor xD. I just find it kind of funny lol.

Anyway. I think, if he had to die, Asher went out the best way he could here. At least he was fighting for something, unlike the tragedy of Melendez's pointless death. It's still absolutely heartbreaking, but that does bring some comfort <3.

Also, in those articles, I saw that the reason Asher was killed off is apparently because Noah Galvin wanted to move on from the show.

I love you sir but I am kinda angry xD.

Nah but for real, I do understand it, and I'm happy he gets/got to go back home and stuff, but I am like ". . . it's the last season" xD. Maybe he asked before it was cancelled lol, I don't know. If that's the case that kinda upset some more, because he might have been willing to stay for just like 5-19 more episodes xd. Anyway, slightly salty about that lol (how could you do this to me Mr. Galvin <33 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️ :')) :'(( ), but I am happy for him. And he's had a great run on this show, as has Asher <33.

. .

I want to say a little bit.

I know I've said a lot xd, but something specific.

I wish Asher was still alive.

I know that's obvious, and it makes sense, but there's layers to it xd. Yes, he was my favorite characters (nearly said one of lol - he is, but my favorite in the show). Is, that is. Yeah, correcting the opposite way of what you'd expect there lol. Anyway. Yes, he was my favorite, and I absolutely wanted him and Jerome to get married. It was something I was sad about missing with the cancellation, but apparently we could have had it (which I did think of earlier xd). Or at least the engagement xd. We really tried on that one lol - we were so close xd. But, I also just wanted him to live. And I wanted to continue seeing him xd :(((. I still do.

But beyond all that, Asher means something to me. Every character in anything I love does, but he is a very specific character.

He's a character I don't have anywhere else.

We are not exactly the same. But I don't think I can express the importance to me of a queer religious character. Even though he scorned religion, even though he was no longer practicing, it meant something to me. I said a lot, especially in this episode, that I understand it. I do. I understand questioning if you can live your life in your religion and be queer. I understand doing more research than most cishet people ever have to do, finding the scriptures that cry your acceptance and not your punishment. I have watched my religious community on Tumblr receive disgusting death threats because of what we believe. I have heard my religion made fun of my friends. I have fought to defend myself and my culture and my beliefs at every turn, from queer people and religious people and people in between. I have hidden and kept quiet because I was scared.

I am very proud of Asher for what he did.

And I hope that, if I were in the same situation, I wouldn't hesitate.

But especially after an episode where I was starting to see a character that I could maybe relate to even more. A queer character who wanted to keep religion in his life, who was going to maybe re-explore it. After that, I mourn him even more.

There will never be another character that can replace Asher for me. And that, at least, is an honor to him.

Thank you Noah Galvin for giving us this beautiful, wonderful character over all these years. About 3 or 4 now, gosh xd. I truly appreciate it, more than you could ever know.

And I thank you to the writers and everyone else on The Good Doctor. Even if I am not happy with Asher's death, I have been given storylines of him for 4 seasons. I miss him already, but at least I have the time we had <333.

Asher is a passionate, strong-willed, brave, often inexperienced, and caring character. All of that is a part of him, and all of it is important to me. I love him so much 😭😭😭💔❤️ <3. And there is truly not another character like him :'). I will truly miss him, so, so much <33.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. I also despised it with my entire being and will not be able to rewatch that horrific ending for years xd. But I'm glad he got what he did, plot wise and drama wise. I know I've already said it a thousand times, but Asher deserves that. He deserves drama, horrific, even if I do want him to have nothing but happiness. He deserves that, he deserves to live, but he deserves to go out with the importance that he had, and I'm glad he did <3. I understand losing someone close, and I am absolutely devastated for everyone else as well :'((. I'm scared and kind of excited (for the angst and the catharsis lol) to see how everyone reacts and copes next episode. If they show me the immediate aftermath I will die, but I will love it. I will also despise it, so I'm glad that I don't think they will xd. Loves everyone this episode, I hope the Shaun and Charlie stuff gets worked out soon, and I'm glad the Lim and Glassman stuff started getting sorted out <33. And you know what? I'll say it. Asher and Jerome got engaged :')). I'm so happy for them <3. AAAHHHHH YAYY WHOOOO 🥳🥳🥳🎊🎂🎂🎂🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰🥰. Because I can celebrate their love if I dang want to. I'm gonna miss them so much <333 😭😭😭😭🥺💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️. Nonetheless, it was a really good episode. I really loved Asher planning the wedding and the conversion ceremony, it was just so sweet of him to do that :'). And seeing him connect with his roots was great <3. I'm glad the ending- no autocorrect. no. . . lol. I'm glad the wedding worked out :). Everyone was great this episode <3.

So yeah! I absolutely loved this episode, it was so amazing. I also hate it and will never forgive it and them lol. Still, I'm hanging onto that engagement! I am so devastated and excited for the next episode. This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 5: Who at Peace

It was so beautiful. The next episode looks super interesting, and emotional, so I am excited to see it! I think it'll be really good. I'll be back here next week with my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 6: M. C. E.

See you next week!

[a-tale-never-told]

Honestly, this anon is personally starting to wish the character of Hiyoko Saionji had never been created in the first place. And it's not even because of anything the character actually did, I just share your frustration on how "parasitic" some fans are. I don't run any Danganronpa story blogs myself, but if I did, I would take a leaf out of your book and just "not use the character at all". Not because I hate the character or anything, but just so I wouldn't have to deal with her fans.

//Looking back in hindsight, and with the recent developments we've just faced, it probably was the most solid decision I've ever taken, when it comes to discussing anything relating to the Hiyoko situation, and that's honestly surprising when you take into consideration just how vocal I was about the entire issue, since it's inception during the Mod Freeze dilemma.

//Personally, I usually tend to avoid engaging in controversial discourse, because it's a stream of vindictive toxicity that often criticizes other's beliefs and opinions unless it involves a particular character that I'd really enjoy or a sensitive subject matter that needs to be addressed. Because once you finish talking about it, you come to the realization that it's all pointless melodrama surrounding a character that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't deserve the amount of hate she gets.

//Now, saying that Hiyoko shouldn't exist as a character in the Danganronpa franchise, mostly due to the controversy around her fanbase, is kinda excessive to me, because there's clearly a bunch of positive character traits she has, both in the main storyline, and in the Free Time Events, with her concern for her father, the only family member that she values and cares for in her life, and her sincere friendship with Mahiru and how it's generally nice to see Hiyoko actually have somebody to relate to when it comes to parental issues.

//Still, I do get why you're frustrated about this whole thing, and believe me when I say, that the majority of the Hiyoko fanbase, at least the ones with a sense of nuance and those who aren't willing to go into emotionally charged rants about why Hiyoko's a great character, instead of plling together a co, seems to be generally against these absurd claims of justifying Hiyoko's behavior towards others, at least from my perspective.

//If anything, I've made my stance on the whole situation pretty clear from the get-go, and so far, it hasn't been significantly changed throughout the number of times this issue has escalated to a breaking point, but it's a pretty massive issue, one that requires an in-depth analysis of Hiyoko's character and why she's so divisive, to begin with.

//Other than what I'd just said earlier, I don't really know what else to offer, other than it's a difficult and tough affair when it comes to writing compelling or satisfying moments in storytelling and dealing with unwarranted or toxic criticism, especially if you're writing a scene where a major character that a large portion of the fandom loathes ends up getting their comeuppance in less than satisfying ways, and it often leads to disastrous outcomes as a result.

//Yes, there's gonna be people who'll hate you because of your writing how you've treated their beloved character in their fanbase, and how you are as a person no matter how much you try to please them, but that doesn't mean that you'd have to let these types of people dissuade you from the type of story you want to convey. Is criticism an overall bad thing? Absolutely not, in many cases, it's actually been proven to be quite helpful in terms of progressing the story, but there's gotta be a barrier between providing constructive criticism and constantly punishing others when they're down and acting like petty, parasitic, idiots who've probably never heard of the actual meaning behind constructive criticism.

//It's okay to disagree with somebody's perspective on a character, but you can't actively pressure and gaslight them into accepting your viewpoint and personal opinions, because nobody's gonna feel comfortable about discussing anything about that topic around you because they'll know about how you'd react to such an obviously sensitive topic, and it'll often foster deep-seated feelings of paranoia and a general incapability of continuing on with what makes them happy, because what's the point of even continuing on anymore if everybody's mad at something you did wrong, even if it really isn't your fault?

//This sort of irrational, vitriolic, rhetoric is actively dissuading people from continuing on with what gives them enjoyment and comfort in life, and it's honestly depressing to see that it's only getting worse.

//Instead, as a piece of genuine advice cherish those who are willing to be supportive towards you and provide constructive advice to help improve your self-confidence and your positive qualities as a person, while proactively blocking out those who'll just leave a negative influence on you in life, both in terms of internet and real-life problems. I promise you

//Yes, it's a difficult process to handle, especially if that toxic influence is a personal friend of yours, or a dedicated fan who's been supporting the blog since its creation, but it's honestly for the best that you cut ties with these people because people who constantly resort to guilt-tripping you over some minor misunderstanding, making you severely doubt yourself about whether or not you're actually a good person, and basically use manipulation and violent, intimidation tactics to silence you when they dislike how you'd portrayed a certain character, and attempting to psychologically break you by spamming hate each time you update a new chapter.

//As someone who's witnessed stuff like this before, it's abundantly clear to me that it's being perpetuated by a group of sensitive bullies who don't understand the very definition of what humans are like, and that, contrary to what we'd think, humans aren't devoid of empathy or compassion for others, as everybody might assume at first glance. The human mind is a fascinating, complex, treasure trove of knowledge, and we often tend to neglect just how much potential we have to accomplish incredible things in life, not just from a historical or writing perspective, but also from a human perspective as well.

//Humanity is capable of showcasing cases of empathy, positivity, kindness, and a plethora of other beautiful things about ourselves, but we often take those promises for granted, and that doesn't change the fact that we have an inherent tendency toward being self-destructive and violent, as history has pointed out over the years. We are our worst enemies, but that doesn't mean that we're all inevitably doomed to fail as a civilization and never progress as a species in terms of showing love and compassion toward others.

//Sadly, these so-called "fans" have no storage of kindness or empathy in their hearts, only existing just to relentlessly intimidate those who are really sincere and great people, into submission, because that's how they derive their power, bullying others out of a sense of blind devotion, and sadistic desires because that's what the majority of those haters are, and it's a definite example of parasitism and bullying

//Apologies if I've ranted a bit about this situation quite longer than what I'd originally hoped it would be. It's just so exhausting having to deal with all of this, so I hoped that this post managed to bring those who were targeted by those miserable excuses for fans some semblance of comfort. I seriously don't wanna discuss this topic any further than it should've been, because aside from what I'd just stated, there's not much to it, other than the controversy and discourse surrounding Hiyoko has gotten far worse than what I expected, and from where things stand as of late, it's not going away anytime soon.

[leandra-kinard]

Okay but, how close were we, really? We all saw the potential and the subtext. That was there, but we also knew that it was no guarantee for it to happen. Studio politics are still a factor. And even on a progressive show, there are limits for actual representation. You cannot make every character queer, because this isn't a show solely for queer audiences. It's a mainstream TV show that, even before bi!Buck, already had above average representation of queer characters.

But the potential was there; the subtext was there. Without knowing for certain because that would be up to Tim to reveal in detail, and he likely never will, I am taking an educated guess here (also based on him once saying they are having the same conversations in the writers' room as we are having in the fandom), that it was always one of the options, in the back of their minds - either Buck is bi, or they're both bi, or maybe Eddie is gay, or it's just Eddie, or none.

The dynamic between Buck and Eddie has always been close, and the great chemistry between Ryan and Oliver contributed to making it even more profound, so of course as a writer who cares about a) potential for good queer rep and b) more importantly authentic characters, you would leave that back door open. You leave some bread crumbs, you include things that would later make it a plausible storyline - IF the overall development of the show makes it feel like it's a good and authentic thing to do, and IF the studio greenlights it.

When you write a show that's ongoing for so many years, you HAVE to follow that multiple possibilities strategy. There are only very few shows that have been mostly planned through from start to finish (and then often kinda failed in that because the story actually wanted to take the writers elsewhere - cough, HIMYM); most procedural shows are written in a "ok, let's see where this goes and plan season by season".

That's as close as we ever were to Buddie. It was ONE of many potential options, highly dependent on studio decisions and the story's and characters' own dynamics.

Now fast forward to 2023/2024, the move to ABC and Tim being back. We know that Tim pitched the story to Oliver early, but we also know (unless that was some kind of misunderstanding/misrepresentation), that it was briefly discussed whether Eddie was going to be the one having some kind of m/m romance arc with Tommy. As we can obviously see, the decision fell on Buck instead because it seemed to make the most sense for the character and probably was more the direction Tim wanted to go into - something light and bright, a romcom, nothing dark and complicated, which it most likely would have been with Eddie; or can you picture an easy-peasy coming out arc for Eddie and find that in character? I can't. So yeah, that's probably why Tim decided against Eddie.

But why not both then? Why should this mean that Buddie as a canon romantic relationship is dead (or at least for the foreseeable future and with the greatest likelihood indefinitely)?

The most obvious reason is what Lori, others and I have mentioned multiple times (and also in this post). Studio decisions.

This is NOT a show for queer audiences. It's a mainstream procedural drama that does have a significant queer demographic among their audience, and good queer representation, but is not solely aimed at and revolving around queer people.

There is a LIMIT of how many characters you can make queer in a show like that.

Had they killed two birds with one stone and gone for a story where Buck and Eddie discover their feelings about each other at roughly the same time or more likely simultaneously, then that might have been something that could have been sold to the general audience. But doing something like that was always risky, always dependent on so many other circumstances. It would have had to be a story where the "shock" of the moment sells it so blatantly that the GA isn't given time to even contemplate how likely they find it that so many members of the 118 are queer. (Which would have been 3/5 main members then).

But such a story would have had to be greenlit, and it also would have needed to feel right, plausible and doable for the authors/Tim.

It obviously wasn't.

And now we have another queer main character, plus another queer recurring character. That is a lot. Meaning, of all the romantic couples involving the mains, we have 3 straight (Bathena, Madney, and I'm counting Marimundo) to 2 queer couples (Henren and Bucktommy). In a general audience, still mostly heteronormative society and studio politics world, that is A LOT of queer characters.

Furthermore, with Buck coming out first, there is an argument against making Eddie interested in men too, that Ryan HAS TALKED ABOUT twice already (and I think Tim once too). It's the implication that a queer man and a straight man cannot have a deep, sort of platonic soulmates level friendship, without it "turning gay" eventually. That is A valid concern that has been brought up. And it's especially valid if Eddie discovered his feelings later rather than that 'two birds one stone' scenario.

Stories like this aren't written and created under a vacuum of what would make sense if these were real people, or what could make for a good story in its own merit, or what would work in fanfiction. Societal context DOES matter. Studio politics DO matter.

All of that put together, I am 99% convinced Buddie is never ever going canon. If we were being realistic, there was a small chance for it to happen before the decision for Buck's arc was made, but it was never as big as many of us deluded themselves to see (myself included), because we saw it in-universe, from a characters' perspective rather than taking those external factors into account.

So, unless studio politics drastically change and decide to make 9-1-1 a show mostly aimed at queer audiences, there's imho no plausible case to be made for Buddie ever happening (anymore).

i had a question, and i'm hoping this comes across as respectful and genuine because i used to love your blog! to preface, i don't need buddie to go canon for me to enjoy it, but i saw your post from a few weeks ago about mourning buddie? and it stuck with me because it made me really sad. i really like bucktommy and i hope buck gets to have a happy ending, i just don't see how bi buck means buddie couldn't happen in the future. esp because so many people are like bi buck has nothing to do with buddie or with eddie. i guess for me, if bi buck has nothing to do with buddie, than why would it mean buddie couldn't happen? does that make sense? like i said, i don't need it to be canon, but i still like that it feels like it could happen, even though on fox it felt like it never could.

It means it couldn't happen (in my opinion - you're free to disagree, plenty of people do) because there is no way in a million years the show is going to make BOTH of them queer. Not gonna happen. I'd be thrilled to be wrong. Buuuut I don't think I am.

Buck being bisexual is NOT about Eddie (in that he is not bisexual because of Eddie or so that he can be with Eddie), but this has nothing to do with the characters. If this were the real world, they could 100% both be queer. Happens all the time. It's not gonna happen on a mainstream procedural that isn't, at the end of the day, about people being queer.

This isn't an in-character, in-universe reason. It's a practical TV production/writing reason.

[jackrrabbit]

spank bank HCs /// Oikawa, Atsumu, and Kuroo x s/o (18+)

A/N: Been thinking about how the hq boys practice self-love 😏 Kind of a palate cleanser, I want to do this for more characters haha

Tags/warnings: pornography, masturbation, sex, edging, lots of mentions of different porn categories, Kuroo is a little shit, all characters are 18 or older

Oikawa Tōru

Oikawa has a weird relationship with conventional porn. On one hand, he’s a young healthy guy with an equally healthy sex drive, and what can he say, he likes watching girls get pounded

On the other hand, the kind of porn you find on sites like PH is always ugly men fucking beautiful women, and as a pretty boy Oikawa finds it hard to identify with. Like where is the justice??? How is it supposed to be believable that a gorgeous woman in her twenties is really moaning that hard for an aging male pornstar with more hair on his chest than on his head?

So he opts for the perfect alternative: camgirls!

He has three or four different channels that he bounces between. His favorites are the ones that are well-lit, nicely produced, high quality film and lots of eye contact. He never interacts or chats with them though, he’s kind of a lurker

Very very into solo acts and toys. You know those sites that let you control the speed of a girl’s vibrator by donating certain amounts of money? Oikawa lives for those. All his pocket change goes toward camgirls, it’s a real problem

Once the two of you start dating, Oikawa’s sexual needs are mostly sated because…well, he’s got you, and you’re a hundred times hotter than any random girl on the internet. But once in a while it’ll still happen that your schedules don’t line up or you’re on your period or it just doesn’t work out, and he’ll get pent up again

When that happens, he’ll return to his old stand-by channels. It’ll be kinda nostalgic getting off to girls fucking themselves with glass dildos or grinding on vibrators in front of the webcam

But the problem, the problem is that he can’t get you out of his head, and when he’s looking at “jasm1neXXX” doing her cute little striptease, he keeps feeling like he’s betraying you :(

So Oikawa bids a regretful goodbye to his old favorite camgirls, and begins the search for one who looks like you. The resemblance doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be something small—hair that matches your color, a moan that falls into a huff of breath like you do—just enough that he can imagine that she’s you

Definitely never tells you that he gets off to porn. Feels guilty about it even if you wouldn’t care ➳

Miya Atsumu

Kinda the opposite of Oikawa when it comes to porn. His preferences are extremely fuckboyish

Into a little bit of everything. Lesbian, gangbang, bondage, creampie, step-sibling, whatever. You name it, he’s seen it, and he’s probably jacked off to it. The only thing he’s resolutely not into is amateur stuff. Atsumu doesn’t fuck with that low-budget bullshit

Definitely not here for the storyline though—he’ll skip ahead in the video past the setup (seriously, who gives a fuck about why the babysitter decided to spread her legs for the the pizza delivery guy) so he can get to the good part

Into edging. To spice things up a bit if he’s got at least an hour of free time he’ll go through a bunch of different videos, jerking himself off slowly while he watches a pretty girl get wrecked, up until he feels his stomach drop and he’s riiiiight about to cum when he’ll stop. Wait. Let himself fall down a little bit, hold back, drop away from the edge. And start another video just so he can do it all over again

Atsumu doesn’t really know…why he likes edging. It’s very frustrating. It makes him antsy and horny and tense, so he’s not sure why he does it. Once when he was doing it, he got interrupted and couldn’t finish until ages later and it was probably the most unpleasant thing he’s ever felt that wasn’t physical pain. He was seriously this fucking close 👌 to smacking the shit out of the person who interrupted him (it was Osamu complaining that he was sick of getting sexiled for over an hour)

It just…feels good, okay? It feels real good to finally get to cum after he’s been edging. Jerking off every other day can get old, so a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do

Favorite category is probably public sex! The possibility of other people overseeing is so fucking hot

Overall, Atsumu has a pretty high sex drive and feels zero guilt about watching porn. Even if you guys are dating, he has needs and you’re not always around to help with them, so that’s where PH and XV come in

Absolutely not shy about it with you. Legit if he’s watching something he wants to try that he just saw in a porno, he will not hesitate to text you the link and be like “hey watch this n tell me what ya think”

Even if you’re not the type to be appreciative of his porn recommendations, he will still def take notes from what he watches and apply them irl. Atsumu is plenty aware that porn is unrealistic, but he’s more than capable of sifting out the good from the bad, and it helps him be…let’s say creative in bed

Want to know where he learned that new move or that extremely bendy position? You don’t have to wonder. It’s porn. He learned it from porn ◎

Kuroo Tetsurō

Kuroo tends to get in a bit of a dilemma because he likes sex and his sex drive is through the roof, but he Does Not. Like. Masturbating.

He much, much prefers to have sex with a partner—to be fair, who doesn’t?—but Kuroo will take it to an extreme. If he’s not able to see you, he’ll go weeks without touching his dick for any reason that isn’t pissing or washing

Literally...a couple months after you started dating, his family made him come on a three-week vacation to Hawaii and when he came back he complained that it was the worst three weeks of his life

“You were in a tropical paradise getting a tan and you’re acting like it was a war zone. Stop whining.” “But baby, you weren’t there! I was so horny, you have no idea, I thought I was going to die, I thought my dick was going to fall off—“

It gets annoying.

When he gets his hands on you after a decent period apart, he’ll be like “I saved myself up for you baby <3” and you’re like “um, ew, why are you so gross”

If he doesn’t wear a condom with you, be prepared for the fact that he cums a lot. A lot. You’ll be in the shower afterward cleaning up and it’s like, there’s more? There’s still fucking more???

You ask Kuroo once why he doesn’t like jacking off, kind of awkwardly, after a four-round fuckfest that left you too shaky to even hold your hips off the bed, and he pauses for a second to think about it before answering

“Well…imagine you have a choice between two meals. One of them is a gourmet steak from a five-star restaurant, and the other one is…hm, a McDonald’s hamburger. You can have the burger whenever you want it, but the steak is only available once in a while because it’s rare and you have to appreciate it when you have it. Which would you choose?”

Okay, fine. That’s kind of cute

It’s less cute when you guys are apart and Kuroo gets really desperate, desperate enough that you get 6 texts in a row from him at 1 in the morning implying that he’s in some kind of dire emergency

“babe”

“BABE”

“911”

“🆘❌⚠️🆘”

“please I need ur help it’s important”

“call me asap”

You call him all frantic, asking him if he needs you to call the cops or something. Is he in trouble? Hurt? Is there a home invader threatening his life?

Nope, he’s totally fine, he’s just horny and wants to have phone sex. That son of a bitch

If you tell him off badly enough, Kuroo will relent and make do without you. He will, however, request nudes to help him through this difficult time

Send thoughts and prayers instead ✷

[wikiangela]

okay, so, I managed to get through s4 of ST - general consensus: won't be watching s5 for sure lmao

so here are my general opinions on s4 and probably some unpopular opinions that no one cares about but I wanna get it out there anyway lol:

(don't keep reading if you get super defensive over this show, I don't have many positive things to say 😂)

first of all, it was super long oh my god (imo every episode could be like at least twenty minutes shorter, and especially the last 3 episodes - I spent like 3 days on each one lmao it was too long) I was bored half the time and had to watch it sped up and I honestly struggled to finish it (I only finished it because I don't like to leave things halfway through and it did become hilarious at some point lol) and even sped up it felt way too long, especially like pauses in dialogue, like jfc how did anyone watch it at normal speed

I didn't care about any storyline or any character - surprisingly even the Hopper Joyce Russia story - that was so fucking boring, didn't enjoy it at all, didn't even care that they finally kissed lmao

didn't care for Eleven at all, couldn't even feel bad for her for even a second, she was annoying as always tbh 😂😂 (let's just say she hasn't really ever been my fave character)

I lowkey think Steve is so overrated and annoying and he could die for all I care sns

(and don't get me started on the Stancy bullshit 🤢)

(also, I really don't get all the obsession over Eddie, like... why do people love him so much?)

I might not remember s3 almost at all but I feel like every character annoyed me much more in s4 tbh

there were moments where the dialogue was so cheesy and cringe, and some spoonfeeding the audience tbh - and generally at some point it was just so ridiculous I was laughing at it all (it's soo funny and in addition when it's sped up, I swear it's basically a comedy lol)

I watched most of the second half of the season while doing other stuff, just having it in the background because I couldn't sit there and watch, I was too bored 😂😂 but it was still hilarious 😂 I did sit through the last hour of the finale and omg it's so funny

seriously, I saw so many article headlines about like "tragic, devastating death in the finale" but I was laughing my ass off sns 😂 (I couldn't care less about Eddie, and Max - if she's dead 💁🏻‍♀️- wasnt my favorite either since she showed up 💁🏻‍♀️) - tho I admit I teared up a bit when Eddie's uncle found out about his death, and it was cute when El and Hopper reunited lol relationships with parents and parental figures always get me 😂

it turned into kinda background noise, kinda hate-watching, and the hate-watching and laughing at it was kinda fun tbh, so it wasn't a complete waste of time haha

it's so weird, because I loved s1 and I remember enjoying s2 and s3 (tho I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in 2 and 3) but this one was just... yikes

the only positive for me was that it was hilarious and very easy to make fun of, and great background noise while still quite easy to follow 😂 (and my crush on Natalia Dyer/Nancy Wheeler is still strong so loved seeing her)

I'm 99% sure I won't be watching s5, though if I'm very bored or smth when it comes out, and if I need some background noise, I might check out at least one episode 😂

[andreafmn]

Running In Circles - Chapter 3

Word Count: 1,854

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 3/?

A/N: This is a short one. Just fully domestic fluff and it makes me very happy, but letting ya’ll know this happiness will be kinda short lived. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 3

“Okay, buddy, let’s see.” I looked at the instructions in my hands from the fort kit I had purchased. It seemed simple enough and something Jack would enjoy inmmensly. “Let’s do this.”

“Yeah!” Jack exclaimed. Hotch laughed from the kitchen, insisting he had to at least cook some dinner. In the oven were the batch of brownies I had put in 10 minutes ago. It took about 30 minutes to finish the fort and the look on Jack’s face was priceless. Then he spent 10 minutes perusing my movie collection until he finally landed on Toy Story, once again. 

“Well, dinner’s ready,” Hotch announced, bringing a tray with three plates of spaghetti to the fort.

“Daddy, daddy! Look at the fort!” Jack jumped up and down. It was a simple square base, big enough for three people and a triangle top. We covered it with thin sheets and hung wire twinkle lights on the top. Jack had run to my linen closet and gotten a thick comforter to lay on the floor, as well as most of the pillow that laid on my couch. He also arranged a couple of his plush toys in there to keep us company, as he put it. 

“I see it, buddy. It looks great!” Hotch smiled brightly. “Now, what do we say?”

“Thank you, (Y/N)!”

“No problem, little man,” I smiled. “How about you invite your dad inside so we can eat some spaghetti?”

“Yes! Come on, dad!”

Hotch sat down next to me and passed a plate to Jack and me, putting a napkin on his son’s collar. The small kid smiled at his dad and dug into his plate without another thought, the sound of the movie filling in the background. 

“You know,” I mused. “It was pretty bold of you to cook spaghetti for an Italian.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “Well, I hope it’s good.”

I smiled and took a bite of the noodles. Hotch stared expectantly to see if he passed the Italian test. I chewed slowly, dragging the process along, until finally giving him a thumbs up. Hotch sighed and smiled before digging into his own plate.

After finishing the pasta, I took the three plates to the kitchen and served three plates of brownie with ice cream for me and the Hotchner duo. When those plates were empty, Jack laid his head on my lap and his feet on his dad’s and watched the movie. An hour and a half later, the blonde boy was softly snoring and peacefully sleeping.

“Looks like the little man ran out of juice,” I said as I ran my hand through his soft hair. “I think we should take him up to the guest room.”

Hotch softly placed his hand under Jack’s arms and carried him up the stairs to the first door on the right, careful not to wake the tired child. I pulled the sheets away and Hotch laid the kid on the bed. I left the room to let Hotch change Jack into his pajamas and went downstairs to clean up and pack away the fort for Jack to take home.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” I jumped at the sound of Hotch’s voice and he laughed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay, and don’t mention it.” I sat down next to him on the island. “Whatever you need, seriously, I’m here.”

He smiled and engulfed me in a hug; time slowed down. For a moment, just for a moment, it was only us. There was no hurting, no unspoken emotions, nothing. I breathed in his scent and took in the warmth coming from the closeness of his body to mine. He relaxed into me and let himself be human for a change. 

All good things come to an end.

“Well, it’s getting late,” I said breaking the hug and clearing my throat. “Um, there’s towels in the guest bedroom closet and extra blankets just in case it gets too cold during the night.”

“Great, I’ll see you in the morning, then. Good night, (y/n).”

“Good night, Hotch.” I smiled and waited for his figure to disappear in the stairs before opening the doors leading to my backyard. I breathed in deeply and tried to easy my heartbeat.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?” I whispered to myself.

I spent the night tossing and turning, trying my best to not think that the man I liked was sleeping just a hallway away. Before I knew it, the sun was peeking in through my bedroom window, announcing that I had wasted a whole night of sleep inside my head. 

So, I got up and went downstairs to work on breakfast. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, the works. I put a pot of coffee to brew and took out some toppings for the pancakes. As I was finishing with the bacon, I heard tiny feet running down the staircase.

“Morning, (Y/N)!” Jack exclaimed, hugging my waist since it was as high as he could reach. 

“Hey, little man,” I said ruffling his hair. “Wanna help me set the table?”

He nodded and grabbed the forks I was holding, placing them rapidly next to the three plates that were already on the round table.

“Jack, where’s dad?” I questioned.

“He’s still sleeping.” He shrugged.

“I have an idea, little man. How about we wake him up with some silly string?”

“What’s silly string?” My mouth dropped. I headed to the hallway closet and took out two cans of silly string.

“This, buddy, is silly string,” I presented the can. “You press the button here down and string comes out.”

“Like this?” Jack asked as a string of green plastic was expelled from the can. He shrieked gleefully and his excitement grew as he saw the grin on my face.

“Just like that, bud. Let’s go wake up dad.” 

He nodded excitedly and we walked up the stairs quietly. Once we reached the door, I turned the doorknob slowly and instructed Jack to go jump on the bed to surprise his dad. He smiled at me and when the door was completely open, he ran up to the bed and jumped.

When Hotch’s eyes shot open, Jack and I pressed the cans and shot silly string all over Hotch.

“Good morning, daddy!” Jack screamed as he flung the can around. Definitely a mess I’d have to clean later but very worth it at the moment.

“Morning, Jack!” The older man said as he brought his kid down tickling him slightly. “Is it safe to assume this was your idea, (Y/N)?”

“Yes, sir. It is,” I responded between laughs. “We have a very strict protocol in this household when it comes to wake up calls.” 

“That’s a very effective wake up call.” Hotch smiled.

“Well, now that we’re all up, we can eat some breakfast,” I said. “There’s some chocolate chip pancakes for you, little man.”

“Yes!” He excitedly left the room and ran downstairs.

“And there’s coffee, too.” I smiled and Hotch got up to join us downstairs.

“(Y/N), thank you.” Hotch said as he stood on the doorstep ready to go home. “This is exactly what Jack and I needed, and I have no idea how I’ll ever be able to make it up to you.”

“Hotch, there’s absolutely no need.” I laid a hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze for reassurance. “I meant it when I said I’d always be here for you both. Whatever it is you need.”

Hotch smiled and left with an ‘I’ll see you at work’, and a Jack frantically waving from the backseat.

And that’s how our sleepovers started. Most of the times we had days off Hotch would come over and we’d build a fort with Jack and watch movies or played games. On hot days, we’d play around in the pool. Sometimes with the squad, but more often than not, just the three of us. If ever he needed it, I would take care of Jack so he could have a day to himself. These nights were happening so often, I transformed one of the guest rooms into a room for Jack. Hotch started leaving some of Jack’s clothes and toys. My house started becoming a second home for the Hotchner boys.

Slowly we grew closer and closer as friends, even if I wanted more. His friendship was too important for me to lose what we already had.

Back at work, it was business as usual. The team was none the wiser, but they could see that our relationship had gotten closer. JJ would always give me a smirk when she saw us hugging in his office, Derek would wiggle his eyebrows at me, and Penelope would silently squeal and flail her arms whenever she saw us in proximity.

Today was no different. Reid, Emily, Derek, and I were in the briefing room each stirring their wanted sugars and creams into the coffees I had brought in the morning. Reid quickly examining the box of donuts I had also brought along to pick the best one.

“Come on, baby girl,” Derek chuckled. “What’s going on between you and the boss man?”

“Well, Derek, if you must know,” I played along. The trio closed in as I pretended to look around for any eavesdropping ears. “Absolutely nothing. We’re just friends.”

“Come on, (Y/N),” Emily responded annoyed. “There has to be something. Friends don’t look at each other the way you both do.”

“My dearest Emily, I’m serious. I’ve just tried to be there for him in these very difficult times.” I sipped my coffee. “And I very much enjoy Jack’s company.”

“You know,” Spencer chimed in. “Oxytocin and dopamine, which are often referred to as the love hormones, affect pupil size. The brain gets a surge of these chemicals when you’re sexually or romantically attracted to someone. This boost of hormones causes pupils to dilate. So, really, if we wanted to know if something was happening all we have to do is pay attention to their eyes.”

“Thank you, Spence.” I laughed. “Now I’m gonna have to use sunglasses everywhere.”

“So that means there is something to look out for!” Emily chirped.

“No,” I cleared my throat. “It means that I don’t want to be stared at all the time by profilers, thank you very much.”

“Whatever you say, (Y/N), whatever you say.” Emily laughed.

After that, playful side eyes and nudges were implemented to our daily routine. They’d smirk whenever Hotch praised me and stared whenever he was even remotely close to me. At first it was funny, but it made me extremely nervous to think that Hotch could catch on. Although, it had been a couple of months with this behavior and thankfully, the unit chief had yet to figure it out, as oblivious to our teammates’ behavior as he was to my feelings for him.

Our friendship continued to flourish and strengthen as I pushed my feelings down in an effort to forget about them. It did not do me any good but, if this was the only way to keep him close, I would endure it.

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Tag: @ssamorganhotchner

[bonnyskies]

come back to me [sixteen] ⇢ jjk

you’re willing to do anything to save your marriage, even if that meant you’d have to sacrifice your own happiness to do so.

pairing — husband!jungkook x malereader, ft. ceo!jaehyun

genre — angst, sexual themes, idol au, exes to lovers-ish au, open relationship au, marriage au, parents au

series warnings — infidelity (kinda?), swearing, bisexual!jungkook, jealous!jungkook, insecure!reader, unhealthy relationship, unrequited love-ish, slow burn, use of alcohol, mentions of divorce problems, (more could be added in future chapters)

word count — 3k

author’s note — this is the last chapter of the hawaii storyline, everybody.

masterlist

“Oh my god, you two kissed—mhm!”

Aerum’s words were muffled from your hand over her mouth. “Can you shut up, please?” You hushed her, eyes darting over at Jungkook who was seated on the sand beside Minho, both building a castle nearly six feet away. “Why are flipping out? It was just a kiss, not a big deal...”

“Just a kiss?” Aerum mumbled questioningly through your hand. “When was the last time you two even kissed each other—a year?”

And when you didn’t reply, that was enough. “So yes, you two kissing is a big deal.”

“So what happened after that?” She continues to ask, the question making you fidget the hem of your swim shirt.

“Nothing,” you answered bluntly. “We just went to bed afterwards—separate beds,” you quickly added, noticing your cousin’s raised brow.

“Oh, really?” Aerum smirked, “So underneath your swim shirt I won’t find marks all over your body, right?”

You shook your head, “Nope.”

You weren’t lying exactly, but you also weren’t telling the full truth. The truth was, is that you and Jungkook almost did go all the way last night.

The memories you two reconnecting your lips and him carrying you to the living room’s couch filled your mind. His shirt discarded on the floor, revealing his toned torso and his hands running along your still fully clothed body while one of your own hands was shoved down his pants, pumping his long, thick—

Stop {Name}, your mind scolded.

If Minho hadn’t woken up and called out for you from your bedroom, you and Jungkook surely would have “done the deed” right on the living room’s couch.

“So, you guys didn’t talk about what you two want after kissing?” More and more questions continued coming out Aerum’s mouth, tearing you out of your thoughts. “Are you two back together then? Is he moving back in with you?”

You shook your head again. “I don’t know.”

“Are you going to talk to him it?”

You stayed silent at first. “It’s not like I don’t want to, it’s just ever since last night me and Jungkook haven’t had any alone time together. This morning we had breakfast with Minho, and right after that my eomma showed up asking if we wanted to go to the beach.”

“Well why don’t you talk to him now?” She asks.

“Because he’s playing with Minho,” you point where they were still building their sandcastle. “They’re busy right now—”

“Hey.”

At the sound of Jungkook’s voice, you and Aerum turned to see him running towards you two, blushing immediately creeping on your cheeks at the sight of his muscular torso.

“Hey,” you replied back softly, lowering your head to hide your flustered expression.

Jungkook grinned, fully aware of your flushed cheeks. “Minho wants some shave ice, do you two want anything?”

“He’ll go with you!” Aerum answers for you, flashing you a quick wink and smile before turning back towards Jungkook. “I’ll go help Minho finish his castle while you two get the shave ice—I want cherry, please.”

Before you could say anything else, she was already walking away and going towards Minho, leaving you and Jungkook alone with each other.

“Alright, let’s go.” He spoke up, eyeing you for a brief moment until you gave him a small nod.

The two of you walking alone together was quite awkward, and tense. But it wasn’t the same atmosphere you two shared in the past. No, it was more like “first-date jitters” instead of “i don’t want to be near this person” kind of feeling.

Occasionally, while walking you would feel Jungkook brush his hand up against yours and on instinct, you would retract yours and keep it firm by your side. You could see the frown that would form on his lips, but you couldn’t help yourself. Ever since last night you felt anxious around him, as if you two were meeting each other again for the first time.

When getting to the stand, you stayed behind Jungkook while he ordered, keeping your eyes focused on the ground until he spoke up, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Hey, what kind of flavor of shave ice do you want?”

“Strawberry, please.” You answered in barely under a whisper, but still loud enough for him to hear.

“—and two strawberries.”

After paying for the shave ice, you and Jungkook began to head back to where your guys’ beach chairs were, which was near where Minho and Aerum are right now. But this time, instead of rushing back you two were taking your time, not wanting to risk dropping any of the shave ices.

“Minho buddy, your shave ice is here!” Jungkook shouted, an instant smile growing on your son’s face as he ran over you two and took both his and Aerum’s shave ice out of your hands, saying a quick “thank you” before going back to his sand castle where your cousin was waiting for him.

You and Jungkook then took your seats beside each other, which happened to be only a couple inches apart. Taking your first bite, your eyes darted towards him, staring at him as he ate his shave ice and watched Minho attempt to build his sandcastle while eating.

Noticing your staring, Jungkook spoke up. “Yes?”

Your eyes widened, “W-What?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“S-Sorry,” you quickly apologized, lowering your head to hide the blush on your cheeks and shoving a spoonful of your shave ice into your mouth.

Jungkook sighed, lowering his cup from his mouth and turning towards you, concern clear in his eyes. “Are you alright?”

When you nodded, still refusing to meet his gaze, Jungkook continued. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Again, you only nodded.

After a brief silence, Jungkook spoke up again. “I’m sorry for kissing you last night. I shouldn’t have done that, it was wrong for me to do—”

“No, it’s not that!” You quickly interrupted him, eyes wide with panic.

Jungkook stared at you confusingly. “Then, what’s wrong?”

He was positive that what happened last night was the reason for your change in behavior, but perhaps he was wrong.

“The kiss was fine—great even,” you started, “—but what we did after, was wrong. We were moving pretty fast last night and that shouldn’t have happened.”

Jungkook nodded, keeping his head low. “Okay.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to give us another chance because I do,” you quickly add, noticing his expression change. “But we can’t go back to how it was before, at least not now. It’ll take some time until our relationship returns to the way to used to be, ya know?”

“I understand...”

Noticing his frowning expression, you spoke up. “Are you okay with that?”

Jungkook eyes widened and instantly nodded. “Y-Yes, yes! I don’t care if it takes the rest of our lives, I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy to be your husband again.”

You couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter by his words, a smile creeping onto your lips.

You had no idea why you agreed to this.

Since it was everyone’s last day in Hawaii, Aerum and your other cousins decided to have one last get together while your mother and her siblings—your grandmothers went to do something else as well.

So that’s how you ended up in this situation, hanging out on the hotel’s roof with Jungkook and your cousins, playing a naughty version of “Never Have I Ever” together.

“Don’t you think we’re kind of too old to be playing this type of game?” You ask, trying to persuade at least some of your family members out of it.

“Not the way we’re going to be playing it,” one of your cousins stated, smirking.

“Come on, {Name}. It’ll be fun,” your cousin, Eunae reassured you while handing you a beer.

You hesitantly took it, turning your head to Jungkook who was sitting right beside you also accepting a beer from one of your cousins. You didn’t say anything this time, only leaning back against your chair and feeling Jungkook’s other arm brush up against your back from behind your chair.

Jungkook tensed when feeling your back resting against his arm. Not knowing whether or not he was crossing a line, he attempted to pull his arm away but was stopped by your other hand wrapping around his wrist, keeping his arm in place around your shoulders. He glanced down at you for assurance, and when you nodded, he smiled. He even tightened his arm around you and pulled you closer to his body to where your side was nearly pressed up against his.

“Okay, who wants to go first?”

“I’ll go first,” one of your cousins volunteered. “Never have I ever, had sex before marriage.”

You nearly choked on first question while most of your cousins already drank to it.

Already jumping into personal sex questions? Your mind gasped. Not even bothering to have any warm up ones first or anything?

But nonetheless, you took a sip of your beer, along with Jungkook.

“That one was so boring,” one of your other cousins, Sungho complained, taking another gulp of his beer.

“Well, why don’t you try then asshole?”

“I will,” he then scoffed playfully before saying, “Never have I ever, had sex when there were friends around.”

You and Jungkook shared a glance before taking another sip, the brief memory flashing through your mind.

Jungkook just got back from a three month long tour and he couldn’t wait to have you. Despite his hyungs being in the dorms as well, he didn’t hesitate to take you to his room and show you just how much he had missed you while being away.

“Alright, me next.” Eunae then spoke up. “Never have I ever, had sex when there were family members around.”

Again, you and Jungkook drank.

“Oh my god,” Aerum gasps. “When?”

“Which time?” Jungkook teases, making you blush and nudge his side, causing him to glance at you with a small smirk on his lips. “What, I’m just wondering which specific moment she wanted to know.”

“They have a kid, darling.” Derek then mentions, arm tight around your cousin’s waist. “That’s what he meant—”

Jungkook interrupts him, continuing to tease. “Oh, I’m not talking about Minho...”

“S-Stop,” you couldn’t help but chuckle, the amount of blush on your cheeks growing even more.

Noticing your flushed expression, Jungkook bent down and pressed lips against your head, a gesture he did whenever trying to sooth or calm you down. He wasn’t even aware of himself doing it, it was just something that he was so used to doing that it became a habit, an instinct whenever he knew you were either feeling nervous, embarrassed, or even stressed.

“Alright, how about we move on—” Derek tried to say but Sungho cut him off. “No, I’ve got to hear this.”

“You’re disgusting, Sungho.” One of your cousins scoffed while at the same time Aerum said, “No, he’s right. Let’s continue, please.”

“Okay,” Sungho frowned. “Who’s next?”

More and more questions continued to pile in, and they got even more specific, more vulgar. You were grateful that your mother decided to take Minho with her, because there was no way you would allow him to hear all this.

“Never have I ever, had sex in front of any friends or family.”

“Never have I ever, been part of a threesome.”

“Never have I ever, had sex in public.”

“Never have I ever, performed a striptease for my boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Never have I ever, had sex in car.”

“Never have I ever, joined the mile high club.”

After nearly two dozen questions, you and Jungkook were already on your third bottle of beer while everyone else was still on their first.

“Damn {Name},” Sungho cheered. “Never knew my baby cousin was such an exhibitionist!”

“Gross, Sungho.” Eunae rolled her eyes.

Derek then added, “I also didn’t expect BTS’s golden maknae to be quite a—thrilling person too.”

Jungkook chuckled, “I guess I just needed the right person to bring that side of me out.”

Jungkook found himself glancing down at his shoulder, which where your head was resting at with your eyes closed. “The right person,” he found himself mumbling to himself against your head before pressing another kiss to your scalp. “I should get him to bed, it’s late.”

“Okay, goodnight.” Aerum smiles softly as she watches Jungkook stand up and lift you up into his arms, and began to carry you back to your hotel room. “Oh, and we’re all having breakfast together tomorrow morning before going to the airport.”

Jungkook only hummed in reply before leaving.

Bringing you back to your guys’ hotel room was quite the hassle—and it wasn’t because of your weight, Jungkook never had a problem with that. It was just because while he was carrying you, he himself was slightly buzzed and that made him have some trouble walking down the narrow hallways with you in his arms.

When actually getting into the room and placing you onto your bed, Jungkook nearly forgot how drunk you operates.

Drunk you is really flirty, and quite touchy. Completely different than the normal you that Jungkook fell in love with—but he also wasn’t complaining because this side of you is a complete turn on for him.

“Jungkookie,” your words came slurring out. “Can you sleep with me please,” with your arms still around his neck, you ask.

“You’re drunk, {Name}.” Jungkook tried to pry your arms off of him, but you kept a strong grip on him. “And remember what you said to me back on the beach, we’re taking things slow.”

You groaned loudly, pulling Jungkook down to where his body was now laying ontop of yours. But luckily, he stopped himself from crushing you by resting his arms on both sides of your head, supporting his weight above you.

“Forget what I said,” you whined. “I want you.”

Jungkook swore he felt himself instantly harden underneath his pants from your words. But he couldn’t give into temptation, not when you were finally giving him a second chance, his last chance. “{Name} stop, you’re drunk—”

“When has that stopped you before?” You cut him off with seductive grin on your face, hands moving from their place on the back of his neck to sliding down his clothed torso and stopping at his belt. “Remember all the times we fucked when I was drunk—”

“That was different.” Jungkook stated, standing up from the bed and grasping your hands with his large ones, forcing them down by your sides. “We were a couple at the time, and I was drunk as well during those moments.”

“But please,” you continued to whine, shifting yourself onto your knees so that you were eye level with him. You slipped your hand from his grip and cupped his cheek, slowly bringing him down to meet your lips.

Jungkook instantly melted into your touch, hands resting on your waist as he kissed back, pulling you close against his chest. But that’s all he did to you—kiss you. The moment you two needed air, he was the first to pull away and used his hands on your waist to keep you within arms reach. “We can’t, {Name}.”

You pouted. Just as you were about to argue, the sound of someone knocking cut you off.

“That must be your eomeoni with Minho.” Jungkook guessed, moving his hands from your waist to your shoulders and forcing you to lie down on the bed. “I’ll go get him, just rest, please?”

He didn’t wait for your reply before leaving.

You frowned, but obeyed nonetheless, laying your head down onto pillow and closing your eyes, letting darkness slowly surround you.

Jungkook rushed to the door and opened it, instantly being greeted by your mother with a sleeping Minho in her arms. “Hey eomeoni. How was he?”

“Oh he was good, as always.” She answered, gently handing Minho over to him. “How about you, how was tonight?”

“It was good, fun.” Jungkook shifted Minho so that his son’s head was now on his shoulders. “{Name}’s already asleep.”

Your mother laughed, “He’s such a lightweight.”

Jungkook also chuckled. Tell me about it.

“Well, I should go and let you get some sleep.” Your mother bowed, and just as she was about to leave Jungkook called out for her, making her stop and turn to face him.

“Thank you, eomeoni.” Jungkook said softly, also bowing his head, but not as a farewell like her but as a sign of gratitude. “For everything. If it weren’t you, I’m afraid nothing would’ve changed between me and {Name}.” With his head hung low, he continued. “We would’ve gotten our divorce and—” he paused, feeling his eyes begin to stings. “—just, thank you.”

Your mother smiled, “No problem, sweetheart. Just don’t waste this second chance, okay?”

Jungkook nodded vigorously. “I-I won’t, eomeoni, I won’t.”

Your mother gazed at him one last time before leaving, closing the door behind her.

After changing Minho into his pajamas, Jungkook then carried him to your room which is when his eyes landed on your sleeping figure. He quietly walked over and gently laid him down, pressing a delicate kiss on his forehead before silently making his way out of the room.

Just as he was about to step outside, he then heard a quiet “appa,” making him turn around and see Minho awake, eyes barely open. “Can you sleep with me, please?”

Jungkook was about to decline, afraid that next morning you’d be upset if you found him laying beside you on your bed. But when seeing his son’s wide puppy dog eyes, he couldn’t say no.

“Okay,” Jungkook closed the bedroom door and walked back to the bed. “Move over bubs,” he then said before climbing underneath the bed covers, wrapping his arm around Minho’s body and pulling him close to his chest.

Jungkook couldn’t help but stare at your sleeping figure, heart racing when he suddenly found himself reaching over for you. For some reason, he couldn’t stop his arm from sliding over and slipping around your waist, also pulling you against him. Jungkook at first thought you had woken up when you started shifting, but his heart then skipped a beat when instead he felt your hand on his bicep, fingers digging into his skin, trying to pull him even closer, nearly smothering Minho in the process.

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile, tightening his arm around your waist and leaning over to place a soft, gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Love you, appa.” Minho suddenly whispered into his chest, eyes closed.

A single tear slipped from Jungkook’s eyes. “Love you too, bubs.”

He missed this.

They’re going back home. What do you think is going to happen when they get back?

TAGLIST:

@xworldwidecutieguyx​, @yoongis-soulmate​, @jikookvfans​, @heartfeltscribblings​, @blazedprince​, @btsfaris​, @sonderkook​, @angel-moni​, @http-je0n​, @magic-fox-555​, @moonfairyjoon​, @taozibun1​, @ephemeralkookie​, @thesquiglybumblebee​, @httpjazel​, @justqueerandhereforthetea​, @dreamer95​, @singabon-roll​, @its-your-dreamworld​, @fancykoos​, @galaxyeyedjungkook​, @nlnkm​, @you-need-namjesus​, @teuteusstuff​, @moon-asia​, @julia-pacheco-blog​, @0minabean0​, @pjmislovely​, @polly-wifu​, @jinsonaz​, @unsolvetheheckoutofit​, @multihoneyfairy​

[cowboymantis]

Let's talk about Kazuto Arase

Yakuza / Yakuza Kiwami , Yakuza 3 side content spoilers. Later on Yakuza LaD too, but I'll give a warning before that especially since a lot of people haven't played that yet.

So I have a lot of thoughts about Yakuza on my mind and just want to scream into the void about it somewhere to write 'em all down somewhere! I'm starting with... Arase.

Yeah, I know, a mostly very hated character (personality and battle-wise) that has so little screen time on top of it all too, is the first thing I'll be talking about.

Hear me out, I actually really love this character and only really started to appreciate him after I went for the Yakuza 3 platinum trophy... I've replayed this game so many times, I didn't mind it when I played through it first but seeing all the hate it has gotten, I went to replay it just in case and with that replayed it again and again because I just somehow loved it so much-

And you know, one part of Yakuza 3, also completion related so there was no way I could've missed it, were the Hitman missions. In general, after playing through all the main games I started to come back to a lot of characters I didn't like or minded the first time playing that are now some of my favourites (other examples are Tamashiro or Lau Ka Long, hell even Katsuragi)!

To come back to Arase, let's start with, well, the start: Yakuza / Yakuza Kiwami.

Introduced already in the very first Yakuza game, Arase is just there for a brief moment in the game, yet has a heavy impact on the game's story and Kiryu. It starts with Arase's oath brother Shinji being shot by Arases subordinate, Mochizuki, at least it looks like it. Shinji came here to rescue Reina, whose corpse then gets dragged on the roof of the Dragon Palace by Arase, Sergeant of the Nishikiyama Family. Now that's a pretty... heavy and sadistic first image for a character introduction, and honestly, his strong personality like that seemed also to be the reason he wasn't exactly loved by other members of the Family.

His battle theme in the first Yakuza game is called "Turning Point" which also puts more emphasis on how important this scene is, Kiryu breaking down, his scream when he sees Reina's body... It's really a turning point in the story.

In Kiwami, his new theme "Virtical Point" is also used as the intro song (or at least, the intro song "Vertical Point" is similar and shortened). Which also once again shows the importance of this piece.

Of course, he's not the most important character in the story, but it's still interesting to see how much there is around him other than his rather short appearance.

Then, his fighting style. Yeah, most hate this too and also the fact that starting from there, other bosses also sometimes use his moveset or a similar one. Like, take Jiro or Jo Amon or Andre Richardson... Basically just the usual dual wielding guns while being an athlete on crack - layout. It is actually not that bad, it's even less bad when you've got the right equipment but I have to admit I didn't really have that much good equipment when I first played all the games and basically just rushed through them because I just couldn't stop!

Arase's goal here of course was also to beat Kiryu but well, just like every other character ever, he couldn't do it and got beat instead.

And that's the end of that... The end of his part in the story and also the end of his part in the Nishikiyama Family, because he got disowned right after his failure.

Which is so... hmm... It makes me think. Many others have tried to take Kiryu down, too. And I mean, Arase was normally a very successful assassin, right? Yet this one failed attempt, at which everyone else too failed, got him disowned? Seems to me like they didn't like him and gave him an impossible task to have a reason to throw him out, huh?

And with that wonderful transition, let's get into his appearance in Yakuza 3.

You get introduced to the concept of the Honest Living Association, in short the HLA pretty much after Kashiwagis death. An association, founded by Kashiwagi to help Yakuza / former Yakuza who weren't meant for this life or just wanted out but just couldn't do in it on their own. For some, all they knew was the criminal life, so having a thing like this is especially helpful. Although, I'm kinda sad this was never a thing anymore after Yakuza 3. The whole concept of it was very cool.

Kiryu gets asked by Ibuki to help the HLA because there is an organisation of hitmen, also known as The Reapers (or The Avengers on PS3) whose goal was a different one than the HLA's, it was to kill Yakuza. The Reapers consisted of former criminals, mainly Yakuza, who were wronged by their superiours and expelled, disowned, you name it. Basically what happened to Arase.

Apprehending those hitmen is a totally optional part of the game and I have to admit, I didn't finish it my first time playing. Which is such a shame because it goes by so fast too when you play it after finishing the game! And the individual stories are all so interesting too, I've really enjoyed this side content and also replayed those missions already. You don't really expect someone like Arase to be behind all of it when it turns out to be him who is the founder and the leader of it all. I was already taken aback by Shinzaki being the lieutenant, or part of it at all. I often stopped by to listen to his guitar playing and talked to him, often asking myself is there's anything else up with him.

And once this one hitman contract came in and guitar playing was mentioned, I was just thinking "It can't be him...?", god, this whole side storyline just was so good. And here people come and say Yakuza 3 was a bad game.

The whole build-up to then reveal Arase was just so cool, honestly. It made me start to look more into his character after this confrontation. The fight was really cool too, just having to fight Shinzaki so many times wasn't really necessary, but Arase seems to like to fight alongside others, so fair enough.

And his theme "End Point" is also just so good. It's more similar to Turning Point than Virtical Point was. The name is also again fitting, since this is the end for The Reapers and Arases power.

It is made clear here that Arase has a strong hatred against the Yakuza and especially holds a strong grudge against Kiryu. He sees Kiryu as the reason he got wronged and had to leave the Yakuza behind, while also seeming to be very aware of the fact that the others there probably didn't like him at all.

He's so angry at him, he holds this whole speech and talks about revenge while Kiryu tries to talk some sense into him, eventually Ibuki also joins and tries to reason with Arase too. Telling him how that's what Kashiwagi wanted, even for Arase to find a new, honest life.

Arase is too strongly lead on by his grudges, so even though it seems like he might be thinking about turning his life around, he decided to not let them help him. Then he goes on about how he will definetly return to take revenge on Kiryu... Well. That's the end of that.

It becomes clear that Arases stubborn way of thinking is kind of childish. Not taking responsibility for any of his actions, thinking that his vile personality and actions are in fact the reason he got disowned. Failing to beat Kiryu was just the final puzzle piece to have a solid reason to throw him out. He's clearly unstable, doesn't think twice before shooting someone, he could turn on anyone and wouldn't be sorry for it. Just, he doesn't seem to really think about what he does.

I guess he probably thinks he's strong enough, he doesn't need to be careful. Also fitting for that is his fighting style in Dead Souls, how when he gets low on HP, he pretty much fends for himself, disregarding orders and just charging head first with full strength.

His Dead Souls appearance is also interesting. Okay, we all know, this game isn't canon, it's a spin-off and just doesn't fit in to the story. But it is interesting how he teams up with Kiryu for a bit and then leaves again. The game itself takes place after the events of Yakuza 4, meaning at this point RGG did remember that hey, they have a rival that swore to beat Kiryu one day. But after that... radio silence.

Really, this is such a shame. Just alone from his short appearances I can talk so much about Arase because he really is an interesting character with so much more potential! The only thing that's good about it is that he didn't die, making him technically one of the longest surviving characters in Yakuza which really is a great achievement.

Okay, we don't exactly know that he's still alive, but assuming due to there not being a mention of him being dead, he's probably alive. He might be, might not. Schrödinger's Arase.

One other thing I thought about is Jo Amon. I mean, his outfit and fight style is also similar to Arase, but that's not what I'm mainly thinking about. So the name Amon is for the greatest assassins, right? And they have a strong hatred against Kiryu at the beginning too.

So, putting those things together, Arase being a former assassin in the Nishikiyama Family, then the leader of a dangerous hitman organisation... Then, to fight Jo Amon in Yakuza 3 you also need to do all the hitman missions other than the substories and the IF7 fights. And to start the search for Amon, you also need to go to Ibuki again, where you got all the other hitman missions.

Yeah, it's a bit far fetched, but ... not too far fetched to think that maybe Arase and at least Jo Amon could know each other. I'd say, they could team up in a future game but. Well... Yeah.

Now some more things I thought about, I'll put a warning here though.

Yakuza LaD spoilers ahead!

Soooo, in this game we've gotten a couple of characters "back" ... Some more real than others... Thinking about Joon Gi's body double.

But one character that survived is Kashiwagi! Now the bartender of a bar named Survive. What a fitting name. After surviving such a heavy attack and believed dead by, well, everyone, it was the best approach to keep a low profile, start a new life. Also, he doesn't seem to be fit for any fighting after the incident.

So Kashiwagi is still there. And, now I just thought about, what if there was a possible redemption arc for Arase? Kiryu is believed dead now too, alone the fact that it seems that Kiryu never met Kashiwagi while being in the same area is kinda sad. I like to imagine they met each other...

I think it could go either way, Arase somehow got information on Kiryu being in Ijincho. He is a professional after all. Plus, by now Kiryu is also, well, not really working with... but. You know, not fighting with the Amon Clan anymore, even having Shin Amon to help determine Ichibans strength with the (True) Final Millennium Tower.

And, now, maybe there can be some other comnecting inside the Amon Clan and some info got out to Arase, ah, hell, I don't know, it's all so far fetched but I just like to have those possible headcanons of Arase somehow coming back!

Another possibility could also be Arase thinking Kiryu has died, just per chance being in the area and just going to the Survive bar? He'd probably be way more open about the thought of redemption and with Kashiwagi probably being pretty good at talking former Yakuza into that, given how the whole HLA was his doing.

Just... Thinking about possible things.

Yakuza LaD spoilers end here!

Well. That's that.

At the end of the day, the chances of Arase returning are pretty much 0, other characters you never thought of reappearing sometimes appear in one way or another, so it can be possible, but probably won't.

But one thing is clear, looking more into this character made me really appreciate him more. I guess that's the fact with a lot of characters, not just in Yakuza, but in general.

The characters in Yakuza are just so well written and even though it has some very weird and silly plot points and plot twists, I just love this game so much and looking more into it and replaying it is just so much fun.

I even started to like the minigames in Yakuza 3, even though I got very hopeless at the last pool opponent and the goddamn Mahjong completion, ugh. But at the end of the day it's all just really fun once you get the hang of it. It hasn't aged too well when you play it after the other Yakuza games, but replaying it on all the difficulties and then casually, then trying to beat it as fast as I can just made me love the game more and more every time.

So, uh... I don't know if it's a blessing or curse for me to often really like the characters that either everyone hates or have almost to screen time. Because well... there's such a lack of content and appreciation but hey that's what I'm writing this for!

I hope maybe someone starts to appreciate Arase more after this - if anyone even reads further after learning that I love this character. :D' I swear I tried to write it with as little bias as possible. I do know he's a morally very very grey character but after all, it's a video game character. (...There's no way I'll ever like characters like Yoneda...Ogita...Or Kume though... ugh)

Well anyway, with that, I go!

[twiceblackvelvet]

Can I request some 2jin soulmate angst with a happy ending please? (If you’d rather it could be with taengsic instead) thank you in advance and it’s okay if you don’t want to write it

warning; internalized lesbophobia kinda?

a/n; didn’t go the stereotypical soulmates route for this, also left it open-ended for interpretation but yeah... here you go. 

Heejin understands the concept of soulmates. After all, she has watched plenty of romantic-comedies in her time to know how the story goes. Boy meets girl and girl falls in love. The boy can’t believe his luck, they get married and start a family together. They live happily ever after. It’s an age-old tale that always tugs at her heartstrings. Whenever there’s a movie night within the dorm, she will often recommend the sappiest kind possible. However, everyone else grew tired of the same storyline repeated but with different faces. As Haseul had politely put it, her right to pick had been revoked.  Instead, she rests easily in her bed late at night, watching them on her phone. Though, she’s never alone. 

Sharing a bed with Hyunjin started very early into the two moving into the dorm. “I’m scared of the dark” is how it began. Hyunjin and her big, dark eyes could bore into your soul with a single glance, and Heejin can’t help but give in to her. While everyone else is either snoring or too busy scrolling through their phone to care. She creeps into Heejin’s room, and they share snacks while watching any film Heejin wants. Hyunjin doesn’t mind the cheesy lines and kissing scenes. Because when Heejin does finally drift off to sleep, she imagines the pair of them in the very same film-scenes, except they aren’t acting. 

Hyunjin has tried many times over to make her intentions clear. But, Heejin seemingly walks around blindfolded as everyone else has managed to put the pieces together, except her. If there were an award for the most oblivious person in the world, Heejin would be the definitive winner. The rest of the girls even put together a plan for Hyunjin to reveal her feelings once-upon-a-time. However, Heejin mistakenly thought that when Hyunjin spluttered out the words, I love you... she had meant it in a friendly manner. 

Eventually, they all gave up trying to help Hyunjin get over her fear of asking Heejin to be her girlfriend straight up. The advice being given that if something is meant to be, as Hyunjin feels it is, then it will happen when she least expects it to happen. The waiting is unbearable, though. All she wants is to be able to hold Heejin’s hand when they lay together without her thinking they are just best friends.  She desperately wishes to know what kissing Heejin feels like. Are her lips soft? Do they taste like her chapstick? Would she feel the spark that the movies claim happens? She needs to know. 

It’s no different from any other night between them. Heejin with the duvet up to her neck, phone in hand underneath it, and only one headphone in her ear as she waits for Hyunjin to join her. The bed is surprisingly cold without her presence. Heejin briefly thinks about how she misses her arms around her waist. But as quickly as the thought enters her head, she erases it. 

Hyunjin paces back and forth maniacally on the other side of the door.  The nails on her thumbs both down to the skin from biting them anxiously. “Tonight is the night,” she whispers to herself before hesitantly opening the door. 

"There you are. Come on, it's cold in here without you," Heejin says, excitedly. Hyunjin can feel the beating of her heart pick up speed inside her chest. Something about knowing Heejin had been waiting for her to join makes her excited. "Hello? Earth to Hyunjin! Are you getting into bed or what?" 

Hyunjin rocks back and forth on the heels of her feet. Outside of the room, she wasn't nervous at all. But, seeing Heejin here, bare-faced and unaware of how perfect she looks, it's hard not to feel scared. She rubs her palms on her pajamas to get rid of the sweat between her fingers. Her feet make small steps toward the bed where Heejin is lying. However, instead of climbing under the duvet beside her, as she usually would. She sits at the bottom of the bed with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

"What's wrong?" Heejin asks, worry evident in her voice. She pauses the movie she's watching and sits up straight. 

Trying her best to focus on anything other than Heejin's confused face, Hyunjin heaves a deep sigh before standing to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. She sits closer to Heejin this time around and asks for her hand to hold. Heejin offers it instantly and rubs her thumb along the back of her hand reassuringly. It’s distracting more than anything. 

"I have to tell you something, but... I want you to hear me this time." Hyunjin's words are slow and cautious. Heejin continues to hold her hand tightly. "I know that this will change some things between us, but I can't go on with this anymore." 

Heejin doesn't speak. Her mouth rests in a straight line while her eyes remain on Hyunjin's face watching her expressions change as she continues to talk. Hyunjin knows she has her full attention, and that is scarier than anything else.

"You remember when I told you that I loved you that day we made food for the others together?" Heejin nods, understanding and recalling the day that Hyunjin is referring to. "Well, you thought I meant I love you, as my friend. Which... I do. But..." 

Hyunjin pauses and closes her eyes shut. The wall beside Heejin that she has been looking at instead of her is taunting her inside her head. Her breathing becomes unsteady, hitching every few seconds, and her skin grows cold. Heejin pushes herself forward on the bed and wraps her arms around her neck in a gentle hug. 

The two don't exchange any other words in the embrace, and they remain glued there for several minutes until Hyunjin eventually removes Heejin's arms from around her. Her cheeks are damp from a few tears escaping from her eyes, and the flushed red look of her skin hasn't disappeared. Nor does she believe it ever will when Heejin wipes her tears with the same thumb she rubbed across the back of her hand. 

"Please, Heejin. I just have to tell you this." Hyunjin says while pushing Heejin's hands away from her face. "I love you, like how those two love each other." She says while pointing at the long since discarded phone resting on the pillow. 

Heejin turns to look at what she's pointing at. However, when she realizes, she doesn't turn her head back toward Hyunjin. She's stuck there, and her body won't let her look at her. The bed shifts slightly, and then the door closes quietly, as Hyunjin escapes to her room.  Heejin can feel a tightness, almost pressure, inside of her chest as she figures out what Hyunjin had just admitted to. 

"This can't be real," Heejin thinks. "She can't be in love with me... we're both... girls." 

The following morning at breakfast is awkward, to say the least. The tension within the kitchen as everyone sits down to eat the preferred first meal of the day could be cut with a knife. Haseul, Sooyoung, and Yeojin sit quietly in one corner, discussing something in hushed voices. Hyunjin is seated beside their gathering, though not participating in their conversation. While Jiwoo, Chaewon, and Yerim pick at some fruit at the dining table. The rest of the girls are busy hovering around Hyejoo as she carefully turns on the stove, likely, making fun of her. 

Heejin enters slowly, not sure of where to place herself. Usually, she would sit beside Hyunjin and joke about how she will turn into a piece of fruit one of these days since she eats it that often. The seat beside her today is taken. But even if it wasn't occupied, Heejin doubts she would be welcome. She instead joins in watching Hyejoo attempt to cook, though she struggles to focus on anything other than Hyunjin and last night.

The rest of the girls leave the kitchen area one by one to get on with their day. Some of them have schedules, others have booked in practice time. However, Haseul remains seated in the corner while Heejin finishes up her breakfast. They don't speak, neither knowing what to say. But, Heejin gathers that Hyunjin has told her about what had happened between them. All of the girls go to Haseul when a problem arises.  She can’t imagine that this would be any different. 

"Look, I-"

"Heejin, can we-" 

The pair try to speak at the same moment. Heejin nods slowly to allow Haseul to speak her mind first. She hopes beyond hope that Haseul has even the smallest bit of wisdom for her, if only so her head will stop pulsating.  

"What happened between you two?" Haseul asks. 

"You mean she didn't tell you?" Haseul shakes her head no, and Heejin sighs softly. "She... She told me that she loves me." 

Haseul grins wide, proud of Hyunjin for doing so, though, when she sees that Heejin isn't sharing her enthusiasm, her smile drops. She moves to a seat closer to Heejin and patiently waits for her to continue. 

"She loves me, like how couples love each other." Heejin's voice is shaky and unsure as she reveals it all while trying to wrap her head around it herself. "But, we're girls... she can't love me. I can't love her... Can I?" she questions. 

The two sit in silence briefly, Haseul unsure of whether the question required an answer or not. But when Heejin doesn't continue, she decides to offer her a response.

"Love is not something you can pick and choose, Heejin. You love who you love, and that can be anyone. Your heart has control here, not your head." Haseul stands, places her hand on Heejin's shoulder comfortingly, and leaves her to ponder her words. 

It's almost an hour later when Heejin finally leaves the kitchen. The cup of coffee she had poured herself untouched but cold. She pours it down the sink and retreats to her bedroom. Hiding her body beneath the duvet, she slowly slips into a nap that lasts for several hours longer than intended. The shouts for her to wake up for lunch are ignored in favor of sleeping the day away. 

It's late when Heejin rises from her slumber. Her head feels as though it has been hit by ten buses one after the other. The clarity she had hoped to gain nowhere to be seen. Instead, her head feels even fuzzier than before somehow. 

The same phone she uses to watch those cheesy romance films rests beside her on the mattress. She unlocks it and opens up the browser. The search option is found, and she tries her best to look for anything relating to their situation. A few articles pop-up about same-sex-dating, but she ignores those in favor of a video. The still-frame shows two women kissing one another. It makes her uncomfortable momentarily, but she presses play regardless. 

They discuss their relationship, how they met, where they had their first date, all of it. Both girls' eyes light up whenever they recall specific moments or whenever their legs brush against one another. They're happy and excited to share their life with others. Heejin can feel pressure in her chest similar to what she had felt when she realized what Hyunjin meant. This time, it isn't as scary. It's warm and inviting. So much so, she doesn’t feel the tears slowly slide down her face as she listens to them enthusiastically share the news they are engaged.

Heejin closes the video as it ends and sits at the edge of her bed. All of the movies make it seem like the two soulmates have naturally fallen in love with each other. They look at one another with bright eyes, and their smiles are contagious. She wonders if that's how people see her and Hyunjin. If when they look at them, they see two people who are meant to be together. 

She does love Hyunjin. Of course, she does. Who wouldn't? But, whenever she has contemplated her future, she has always pictured herself marrying a man, settling down with him, and being happy. Even so, she can't help but consider Haseul's words, that her head doesn't get to decide. Whatever she has seen inside of her mind doesn't matter. Because her heart has to find the right one to love. 

Her fingers tap on the screen typing out a text message, though, she erases it several times over to begin again. Finally, she settles on asking Hyunjin to join her tonight, despite everything. Hyunjin doesn't respond, though, she expected that to happen.

The movie of choice tonight is an action-thriller. Yerim and Chaewon believe it's the film of the year. Everyone else thinks they're only interested in one of the actors playing a supporting role. It's about twenty minutes and double that amount of explosions later when Heejin leaves them to it. Haseul offers a quick smile and mouths "good luck" before turning back to the television screen, though her eyes flick toward Hyunjin now and then. Her expression is one of confusion and mildly upset. But it isn't long before she too stands and leaves the room. 

Once more, Heejin's bedroom door opens slowly. From the small crack, she knows already that it is indeed Hyunjin. The way her fingers grasp onto the door, the way she hesitantly steps foot inside, the way her eyes glimmer under the bedroom light. Her skin glows, despite the clear sadness on her face. Then it hits her. 

All this time, whenever Hyunjin would sneak into her room, she had been telling herself that she just felt sorry for her friend. Truly believing that she was scared of the dark and needed to be beside her to rest. But, what she refused to allow herself to think was that she needed her here to feel safe too. She needed Hyunjin beside her, in what she has called their bed for months, to be able to sleep herself, peacefully. 

Maybe, just maybe... her heart had chosen for her all those months ago, without her realizing it. Perhaps instead of visualizing her future with a man, she was only hiding away what she has now come to figure out. The pressure rises again in her chest as Hyunjin stands before her, beautiful as ever, and waiting for her… The woman she loves, and who may just love her back all the same.

"Hyunjin... I have something I need to tell you." 

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

[greycappedjester]

Since I log the fanfictions I read, I’m realizing that June 19th marks the first day I read one of your fics! I read All in the Cards and was blown away by the storyline. Then, I continued to read your HQ series, the other cards fics, and your Dr.STONE fic too. I want to read your DC fics as well. I don’t know much background on it though, so I’m working on it. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your writing and how it has honestly made this past year a lot better. With all that being said though, what’s your favorite thing/theme to write in each of your individual series? Like world building, relationships, etc.? Also, what inspired you to write in the first place?

Ahhh, thank you so much! This is honestly such a sweet ask and I am so, so glad that I could make your year better.

For what's my favorite thing/theme to write in each series, that's a tough one as a lot of times in changes; but, after thinking about it, I think these are my favorite things overall for each....

(I also thought I'd do something fun and put what my favorite line to write was in the last few chapters for the ongoing works. I always wonder what lines are people's favorite so figured it would be fun to add mine)

Hq at Hogwarts: I really love writing Oikawa and Hinata's relationship. Which is kinda an odd thing to say since they purposefully only have a few conversations spread out through each story. But, they're my two favorite Hq characters to write hands down and so I absolutely love showing them as foils to each other in the series. That said, I also love writing them (and especially Oikawa and Suga) as foils/parallels to the Giant and Hisashi (Suga's grandfather). I love both foil relationships and writing parallels between generations--especially if the next generation is completely unaware/uninformed of the previous generation's mistakes

Favorite Recent Line to Write: Kenma met his eyes and his voice broke: “Why am I the only one you have to hide?”

*Note: Okay, technically not the most recent chapter but fun fact: I wrote the Kuroo/Kenma conversation waaaay in advance and used it a lot as a reference to where I wanted this relationship to be headed and I viewed this line as one of the biggest break points (along with "I am waiting" from the dance)

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Cards: This one is the most tricky for me to think of one since it changes a lot. I love doing the world building for this one (like the huge long time line I have for the history of the country). I love writing fantasy politics. As I consider a Hearts Civil War story more, I'm getting back into the groove of just really love writing Oikawa's complicated relationship with being King. And, of course, I love writing Tsuksihima and Hinata's relationship

Favorite Recent Line to Write: Oikawa swept across the office, never seeming to pause for even a second as he pointed a quill at Iwaizumi. “So, tell me, are invasions just like a semi-annual thing?”

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The Hq/Scooby-Doo AU (Investigations Inc.): the humor and banter

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Walking With My Eyes Open: I think this might be my favorite romance thing I've ever written. I really, really wanted to show a view of romance that emphasized the choice to be in love (and the work that goes into a functioning relationship). I especially wanted to do this with Hanahaki since this trope is so tied to the forfeit of choice on the patient's end and the inherent unfairness/weight on the person they're in love with. Couldn't imagine it with any other characters but Senkuu and Gen tbh.

Favorite Recent Line to Write: But, human shoulders weren’t meant to bear the expectations of divinity.

*Note: Lol, this scene got cut and reworded so many dang times in editing, the one thing that stayed consistently I feel like is me really wanting to keep this specific line

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After the Fall of Olympus: Three things and I find it really hard to pick which one is my favorite.

(1) I love that this story format lets me show the slow growth/aging of Dick as a character and (I hope) that each chapter shows how he's grown to the point that Dick at age 14 in Ch. 1 is noticeably younger in internal monologue than Dick in his 20s in the latest chapter.

(2) I love writing tricky political/social issues where all characters have their points and there truly is no write answer...with that, I love writing Dick and Jay Garrick's relationship.

(3) If I had to pick, I don't know if it's my favorite but I think it's the most important element of the story. I very much wanted to show a more realistic view of grief where it feels like the world ended; but, it's not actually an apocalypse. They recover. At the start of the story, it is without a doubt the lowest/most devastating point, but they rebuild. It's slow and there's set backs but they are rebuilding a world that isn't (and shouldn't be) the same but is there and is new and is important. I know a lot of stories that focus on grief view it as a tragedy and an end which it is in a huge way. There's the phrase "it gets better" but a lot of times I think it's viewed as "things will go back to what they used to be" which is understandably hard for people to believe because a lot of times, it fundamentally is impossible for what's lost to be regained. That doesn't mean it's the end of everything. I think sometimes we forget that the previous world (be it actual in this story or what feels like the entire world) may not exist anymore but something different can still be built. The new world and old should never be compared because they can't be. It won't be the same. But, it can be good and they can be happy.

Which is honestly the recovery of what Dick Grayson, to me, should represent rather than the constant grief/vengeance of Batman.

Favorite Recent Line to Write (technically the last line here, just doesn't make sense out of context)

“You need someone with you. I’m not just leaving you alone!” Selina shouts.

“No? Why not?” Dick spits back. “You’re so good at it !”

Selina flinches back and Dick is viciously, painfully glad.

“You don’t get to care just when it’s convenient, Selina,” he says and it hurts, a wound that’s never going to heal. “I needed someone eight years ago. I needed someone when Bruce died, when Batman was gone, and the city was falling apart, and you weren’t there. You didn’t call. You didn’t check on me. You didn’t even say bye. And that’s fine. I lived, I rebuilt it.”

He steps away. “But, you don’t get to come back now and pretend it never happened. I don’t have to let you just because it hurts either way.”

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Flash Facts of Bart Allen: Lol, what might be my least popular but in my opinion best written story. Favorite thing is Bart and Len's relationship hands down, followed by showing Bart's relationship with how he navigates the weight of the Flash legacy while feeling like he's fundamentally different than the Flashes that came before.

Partly since this is getting so long and partly because personal story, I'm putting why I started writing under the break.

I started writing for a lot of reasons.

My first fic--and the first book I ever finished--was the first Hq at Hogwarts story (Mirror of Erised). For background, I started the story when I was in my first year of getting my master's degree (which was surprisingly a lot less busy than my undergrad for a number of reasons but me getting sidetracked into that is a whole other ask about grad school).

My first reason I started writing was that I had more time. I'd had the idea for the story for years; but, I finally had enough details that I was like "okay, now, I gotta write it" so I did. I'll say exactly what the final straw was when I actually get the series finished since it's a major spoiler.

My second reason probably didn't consciously occur to me at the time but is what I consider the most important reason I write and continue to write. I fundamentally want to write stories that make people's days better. It doesn't have to be anything big; I just really wanted to write the kind of story that people could get lost in for a few hours when they're scrolling through AO3 and looking for a distraction. I wanted to write something with happy endings.

Here's the more personal part. I really don't mean this in a sad way so please don't take it as such. However, when I started writing and posting, my dad had just died completely unexpectedly a few months earlier and right before I had to move cross country for masters. It was definitely a hard time (though I had friends and a good support network, again please don't worry--it was years ago now). But, writing then definitely helped me be in a positive happy attitude while thinking of plots and friendships in my favorite anime that always puts be in a better mood.

My point here is that while that was never the reason that I wrote, it's something I reflect on a lot for why fanfic can be such a positive force. Someone can have either the worst day ever, a mildly inconvenient day, or a perfectly fine day and still want distraction. To have a community with both writers and readers interested in the things you're interested in. To have a site where fic can be easily shared and for free. There's something just wonderful about that.

So, most of all, why I write: I want to show people that care about each other. I want to make someone's day better and often that day is mine.

That's really all there is to it.

[dripkingpetey]

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

-

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 

door for you.

-

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

-

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

-

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

-

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

-

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

[thedevillionaire]

Tag Game

Tag Game @mongooseblues , thanks for tagging me (which my notifications hid from me for some reason but okay) and despite finding it kinda hard to narrow it down, I did have fun doing so! The game is such: 1. List your top three whump tropes and tag people. 2. Whoever gets tagged gets to say how they feel about your top three tropes. 3. After finishing that, they then list their top three tropes, and the tagging cycle goes on! Your tropes: 1. Forehead feel Oh, yeah, I definitely like this, and I agree with your point about its intimacy. I will particularly enjoy it if paired with brushing in-the-way hair aside to do so, either gently or with insistence. 2. High stakes illness: aka setting a story during the worst possible time or situation for the character to fall ill. Ooh, the Inopportune Timing thing. BIG fave. “The attitude characters take toward adversity”, to quote directly - yeah, that. I love that, too. And for me this particular trope also ties in well to what’s going to be my number 1 trope. It’s a winner. 3. Emotional crumpling: An expression of emotional vulnerability when someone’s wall is down. This one’s an interesting one for me because I find it very character-dependent – my reaction to it will often be very much tied to how I feel about the character in question, so for it to work for me in a fic, I need to be at least reasonably familiar with the character when they’re not in that state for it to…bring the power, so to speak. I am, however, absolutely onboard with the fevered “don’t really realise what they’re saying” one. I usually like that one no matter how unfamiliar I am. My tropes: 1. How Have The Mighty Fallen Or, How I Love the Worst of the Best. I want them competent, powerful, usually healthy, etc – hell, the more in control the better, frankly – and then it all goes terribly wrong. Well, probably not terribly wrong, per se, just sort of – colds are perfect for this, being technically a mild illness – but it’s going to seem worse to the character in question because it’s so uncommon for them. And I’m also just a sucker in general for no amount of willpower being able to stop the oncoming…uh, problem. I’m not much of a fan of the constitutionally weak character who gets sick at the drop of a hat or seems in a near-constant state of ill health in one way or another – bring me your most glorious, and bring them down. That’s my jam. (Portraying this aspect on snzblr has its challenges, I will say. The functional times aren’t exactly the focal points of the fics here, so setting up background often has to be sort of presumed. I often feel my own writing should come with a disclaimer of “This hardly ever happens to him, actually”, since, uh…it sure doesn’t seem like it. 😂) 2. Now Kiss: Intimacy/Security/Comfort/Romance And now the qualifier: Bring them down but please make sure they land safely. I will always melt for the soft moments and love a romantic storyline. And it certainly doesn’t have to follow my point 1, but I’ll doubly melt if it does. I love pretty much all aspects of sweet caretaking – romantic, sexy, platonic, horny AF, all can and will work for me. Particular bonus points, though, for (a) if the caretaker is the only one the person being cared for would allow this from, (b) it’s a first of some sort, or (c) the intimacy is longstanding and deep, showing the kind of knowledge that only an established relationship can bring. To sum up: I want affection and I want it now, lol. 3. Resistance Is Futile Ahh, the point at which denial is no longer an option, how I love you. This one’s pretty simple, but I always, always love it – the moment at which someone has to admit defeat, either to others or just to themselves, either/or. The point of surrender. And the more determined they are to not give in, all the better when they do. Okay, tagging, um… I’ll try not repeat anyone who’s been tagged in this already, but apologies if I do. And of course feel super free to ignore if you do not want to do the thing. Also, anyone else who does want to do the thing, please do!

😊@dopaminty @sucker-for-sniffles @you-dont-look-so-good @anditvanisheslikemist @snzlux @chezsnez

[ryoryeonggu]

Okay, I’ve just finished 13 reasons why in one day. Despite everything people else have to say, I love it ♥♥♥  I love it so much ♥♥♥ I had planned to finish it as soon as possible, but when it’s truly over, my heart’s really crushing because from now on, I have to let it go forever :( I will miss this show so much along with all the characters (even those ones I once hated so much like Bryce and Monty)

Let me talk about a few thing I love and also leave me heartbroken in this season:

First of all, Clay. Ofc, people tend to say he’s annoying, but I really love him, knowing all of his flaws and his mistakes. He’s sometimes aggressive, he’s sometimes too controlling and overreacting and has hero complex. He’s an idiot. But all I have seen is a boy who cares too much about the others and it finally breaks and destroys him. He always is the one who protects, the one taking care of others, so when of course, he also had his own problems, he had his own issues, so people tended to not likely notice that or help him like the way he helped them because he’s supposed to be strong one, and he also wanted to be strong for his friends so he rarely let it out. And don’t forget he’s having very serious mental illness (I don’t believe that’s only depression and anxiety, it could be also schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder, since he has illusion of Hannah way before Monty and Bryce “ghosts” tortured him). And not only his friends and his family hardly recognized his issues, a lot of people in fandom kinda are ignoring it as well. Despite how he acted or what he had done was right or wrong, he had tried and done a lot of people, like not for him, a lot of people would have ended up dead or worse. Because of Clay and his courage, Tyler would have become a school shooter and suicide, the rape case of Hannah and Jessica would have remained in silence, Justin would never have found a home and been happy and had a chance to become a better person, Alex would have killed himself again out of guilt… and the most important thing, they wouldn’t been friends and stayed strong together like the ending. So, to me, Clay is still the greatest friend that no one could ever be and I adore him with all my heart. And I can see myself in him: a kid with anxiety and depression that love living with fantasies, trying so hard to be strong, to be a good person and a good friend, and thinking that I could never love anyone and no one could ever love me back.

Then Alex. My favorite of my favorite character in this show. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting anything good happened to him in this season. But turns out, it was even so much better that what I had been imagining. He’s still sad and depressing, he still thought low of himself and blamed himself for everything, thought he was not good enough. But he found love, and was happy. And they really make him BI! Like, I was hoping it but I never thought they would really do it. And he kissed three guys, and I ship it all lol.

About Zalex, honestly, I never really shipped it until season 4 came out. From what I saw, I believe Alex did have real feelings for Zach and this kiss really meant something, for both of them. The way Zach didn’t pull away from the kiss, the way he asked Winston that if he really was in love with Alex or what he saw in him (like a jealous idiot), the way he corrected Alex right away (in front of Alex’s BOYFRIEND lol) that that kiss wasn’t a disaster at all, his sad look watching Alex and Charlie holding hands, yeah, not mention “why are you with me but not with Charlie?”. So from all of that, I don’t think that feeling was only one-sided. But like everything else happened in Zach’s life, when his life got shit, especially when it came to love, Zach tended to be a coward and did everything to hide from his own feeling and his complicated situation. Like in this season, the way he used alcohols and casually having sex – not giving a shit about anything like the way to hide from his problems, instead of actually dealing with the problems. Like he lose Hannah because of it. And now he also lost the chance to be with Alex. I think in the end, he did realize that he had feelings with Alex too, but it was way too late. And I also believe that Alex will always love him, like the way he also love Charlie. You can love both, if you believe or not.

A lot of people say that if Alex had been there and had helped Zach like the Zach had done to him in season 2, Zalex could have been ended up with each other and had been endgame. But, no, I don’t think it will. Alex chose to be with Charlie is the best and realistic choice, because Charlie was good for him. Yeah, Zach was depressed with trauma, in the deepest ship of his life and he needed helps, ofc, but so did Alex. Don’t forget Alex in this season wasn’t in the better situation to help anyone, he murdered someone and blamed himself so much for everything was happening, and he was also really self-loathing like Zach was. So he needed someone, like Charlie, someone’s positive, confident and had healthy energy, someone who made him feel he was loved, he was taken care of, and someone would be able to remind him everyday that he’s worth being loved and deserved all the happiness in the world. Not a mirror to see how fucked up and destructive he was like Zach. All Alex’s life problems was trying to be tough, to be man up to be able to take care of and be with a girl; and with Charlie, he didn’t have to do it anymore. He was safe, he was loved, and he was happy. Alex loved Zach, but sometimes, love isn’t the answer. Sometimes you have to choose what’s good for you, so despite it wasn’t built up as deep as Zalex, the relationship between Alex and Charlie was still one of the best relationships in the show and I love it. Alex and Zach clearly was in love with each other, but they just miss the right time and now it’s only regrets. And moreover, even also in the messy shit of his own head, except the coach and sometimes Charlie, Alex was the only one who tried to help Zach and never gave up on him. In fact, those words from Alex about how he helped him and made him feel safe was one of the major effects that brought Zach back to life. 

The same goes with Winston and Alex, another “what we could have been but it was too late”, they just met in the wrong time and the wrong circumstance then lost each other forever. But I do believe that their feelings was genuine, even it’s only for some short of time (at least from Winston, since he dropped his revenge which he was obsessed with the entire time all just for Alex, how sweet).

And Justin!!! OMG Justin!!! My heart really ached so much with all the scenes he’s in hospital. Not only because Clay lost a brother, another important person in his life, their group lost a very good friend, but also the most hurting part, that he could have gone to the college, he could have had a future, he could finally have had a good life, but then it was completely wrecked in one go (especially right in the moment he was finally happy and had everything that he had ever wanted). I almost cried when he said he’s scared (we should have known since the show dropped a number of time Justin kept saying he wanted to be live, how fucked up and depressing it is) and wanted Clay to hold his hand. Even Clay acting like a dick and pushing Justin away a lot, the bromance between them was still the best and the most memorable one (and now thinking about it only wanted me to punch my chest so hard and cried). Life is fucking not fair and he definitely deserves so much better.

And finally Ani. She actually grew on me in this season since the last season she annoyed me so much. I like how she finally admitted that she was wrong when he slept with Bryce and finally apologized to Jessica about it (which really made it up to the whole shitty storyline of her in the previous season). I love how Clay and her finally broke up and admitted to each other that they were not fit and weren’t ready to be in any relationship (f**k thanks god, finally, because they was never fit, like at all). And I also like the way she always got Jessica’s back and was there for her everytime (I even almost ship them with the scene Ani asked Jess to go to Prom with her, it’s so adorable ♥♥♥)

And I love Tony, I love Tyler, I love Jess... basically I love everyone ♥ ♥ ♥

Okay “my thumbs got tired”. I would probably write another essay about what I love about this series, someday, probably.