#BIGGEST struggle ever!

[jesterchan]

SO Relatable! Gotta reblog!

reblog if you’re a writer who feels guilt whenever they’re not writing and being productive, so I know I’m not the only one lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Loss.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[dailykaeyas]

Never realized the drastic barber change until now

[mikaaa889]

ho is you bug

[skullzy20]

I'm so happy they decided to add this much depth to Amir instead of making him purely one-sided like people might expect him to be at first

it really makes you want to learn more about each of the characters and GOD is it worth it

[peace-hunter]

While in battle what do the primes mostly do? Just sit N watch

yeah kinda!

unfortunately they're very limited on what they can actually do beyond giving some advice when required, which is a source of frustration for everyone involved. being forced to stand on the sidelines without being able to physically help out rapidly becomes one of their least favorite things about being bound to the matrix.

the first time Optimus gets badly hurt during battle and they realize there's absolutely nothing they can do about it is,,, Rough.

they do get to become Optimus' second (thirteenth?) pair of eyes though. literally nothing happens around him without them seeing it. he very quickly gets a reputation for having crazy reflexes and it's really hard to catch him off-guard but it's because he has thirteen ghosts following him around at all times and they're hyper-aware of anything that gets close to OP.

there's a learning curve of how much they can chime in during battle without distracting OP and making things worse, but they get the hang of it eventually. and OP learns to trust them implicitly too, following their warnings with no hesitation, which saves his life more times than he can count.

it is a little freaky for everyone around him, but they kinda get used to it. things are already so goddamn weird around here anyway.

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[fatedroses]

Zenos quickly earned his reputation among the scions as a cruel master- a brutal teacher often seen carrying those he trains back to the annex for recouperation on their first days spent with him.

For he has one simple goal: to break apart his companions doubts and weaknesses so that he may build those he cares about back up stronger. Even if they yell at him, hate him for it, take their frustrations out upon him, it matters not.

What matters to him is that they will have the strength to forge the future they want.

So that in every parting he can hope to see them again come the morrow.

[sholmeser]

mgs itself is guilty of this but i feel like people gloss over the realistic repercussions of sunny’s abuse wayyyyy too much…she was separated from her mother, drugged, groomed, and isolated SINCE BIRTH, and it’s likely raiden didn’t rescue her until she was at least two years old; she’s been with snake and otacon for most of her life at this point but, despite being a technical genius, still struggles with functioning properly. her motorics are disturbed. she can’t read social cues. virtually the only times she doesn’t stutter are when she’s reciting patterns of numbers she was conditioned into memorizing. it’s genuinely horrific and i absolutely hate how mgs4 (and a good chunk of the fandom) boil this behavior down to being a result of her acclimating to a new environment, or needing a maternal figure, or just being shy. otasune don’t struggle with her because they’re first-time parents; it’s because they literally do not have the skillsets necessary to properly accommodate a kid that’s gone through what sunny has—despite them almost certainly having been abused children themselves. i really do lament the fact that the long-term effects of this treatment aren’t ever really considered; i don’t think, realistically, that naomi’s influence should have been nearly enough to help her fix those issues

[bnnywngs]

wwx: ok, now i'm back in time! what time is it, actually

wwx: ok, i'm gonna hunt wen chao again exactly like the first time, BUT ☝️ i'm going to be better on my reunion with lan zhan!!!

wwx: i'm going to be smooth and say something sweet and romantic so he blushes and his heart will skip a beat! i got this!!!

lwj: wei ying! come to gusu with me!

wwx:

wwx, bursting in tears: lan zhaaaaan

[10yearsofdnp]

April 21, 2015: You know, I'm starting to think that maybe they should've stayed in Japan after all--I mean, it's not like they HAVE to do the YouTube thing from London, right? 😂😴🦋

[asgardian--angels]

things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

[purple-the-turtle]

Turtle doodles

[embracedthevoid]

Constantly reminding myself that there’s no proper or correct way to write and that the most important thing is that I just start.

[sorrinslays]

Gepard's role in the story

(crack theory territory)

So, I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed, but Gepard is extremely underused in the story, which is such a shame?

Like, I counted the times we see him in the main story and it's disappointing. We (Astrall Express Crew) see him at the start after Sampo ditches us, where he takes us to Cocolia and all, then we see him again at the end of the story when he's trying to stop us because he believes we are trying to harm the Supreme guardian and he fights us and his Sister and that's it. We don't see him again.

Then, when Topaz comes to Jarillo VI he is there for two scenes again. One where he tries to stop Topaz and gets ambushed and one at the end where he stops a woman from getting crushed to death.

Even in 'his' (Serval's) companion quest, he takes the backseat. Sure, the story was about Serval and her getting over Cocolia and Gepard's role was him just trying to show Serval that she is still needed in Belobog, but honestly they could've done more with him.

I think people forget that he doesn't know the truth of what really happened to Cocolia? (as far as I'm aware at least). Can you imagine if he learned the truth? The mental breakdown that he'll experience?

This man has been serving her for the better part of a decade. He was spoon-fed propaganda like that Underworlders are 'wild' (an item description mentions that he had to fight 'wild Underworlders' I'm pretty sure) and blindly following the Supreme Guardian's orders for years. How is he supposed to react when he learns that those 'necessary sacrifices' of his fellow guards was just an excuse to get rid of more Belobogians for the 'dream' the Stellaron promised Cocolia.

Don't forget, he knew those people. They were friends, comrades, people he saw everyday. And all of them were dying on the daily and he was powerless to do anything.

And when he learns the truth, how is he gonna react to Bronya's decision to cover it up? Were the deaths of his friends in vain? Do their families not deserve to know the truth as to why their loved ones died? How much blood does the late Supreme Guardian have on her hands? How much of it has transferred to Bronya? How much blood does Gepard have on his hands because he never questioned his orders?

Point is, he is so important to Belobog, he's the Goddamn Captain of the only military service they have there, obviously he is needed! So why underuse him so much?

Well, this is where we move more into theory territory. I think it ties in with a future Belobog quest that Black Swan's companion quest hinted at (at the end during Sampo's and Sparkle's conversation).

Since Gepard has been on the backburner, we have yet to see Sampo and Gepard interacting and the fact Sampo still doesn't have a companion quest even though he is an important lore character I think all of that will happen in the future.

I think it would work best as a quest without the Astral Express Crew, like the new POV mechanic or the cut aways used in the Loufu for Dan Heng. We could play as Gepard or Sampo as they are forced to work together for whatever reason.

We could play as Gepard as something big happens in the restricted zone (AKA the catastrophe Sparkle teased Sampo about). Maybe he gets informed about it (maybe we get a new 4* character that's a guard that informs Gepard) and when he makes it there, Sampo is already here, as if expecting it.

Maybe Bronya calls Gepard to her office after an anonymous tip was sent to her warning the Silvermane Guards of a catastrophe coming to Belobog. Maybe he is tasked with finding who sent the note as well as prepering for said catastrophe, which is how he runs into Sampo, having the two working together.

Maybe we play as Sampo, leaving clues for the Silvermane guards until we reveal ourselves, getting that 5* version. Maybe we are the one pushing the puzzle pieces so they fit on their own or maybe all through the quest we keep cutting back to a game of chess between Aha and Sampo, showing the unpredictable nature of the catastrophe as it was orchestrated by Aha just for shits and giggles.

Either way, this works great as a pathway to seeing:

a) the dynamic between Sampo (arguably the most mysterious character to come from Belobog) and Gepard (resident bbg)

b) 5* Sampo

c) (and this is mostly me playing around with concepts) Gepard becoming an emanator, becoming the first on screen character to be turned into an emanator

d) a great end to Sampo's character arc by becoming a part of Belobog (maybe he even becomes part of the Silvermanes as a detective)

e) more Geppie screen time and exploration of his character

(a few extra ramblings from my demented as a treat)

I think it's criminal that Gepard doesn't have his own companion quest and he's practically shoved in his sister's, and considering that Sampo doesn't have his own......................

I think it would be fair to have these two in a companion quest of their own.

I'm thinking of a quest where Sampo becomes a Silvermane guard (a detective to be more precise) and Gepard learns the truth about Cocolia.

I can imagine that during some investigation that Gepard is having a hard time with due to the Underworlders not trusting the Silvermane guards, he is forced to seek Sampo's help. So through Natasha, he gets ahold of Sampo and the two work together where Gepard, through investing a shady group learns what actually happened to Cocolia as well as all the lies he's been getting spooned-fed for years.

One mental breakdown and emotional conversation between the two later, they catch the criminals and Gepard takes it upon himself to make Sampo part of the Silvermane guards because of how helpful he's actually been recently (main story + new quest with the catastrophe + the companion quest + helping the Underworld in general).

The companion quest ends with Sampo becoming a detective (Heizou from Genshin Impact style) where he wants to prevent crimes from happening before they even committed. His reason being 'criminal to detective is pretty stereotypical and Aha might blow up the planet' so he challenges himself to stop crime before it's committed to keep Aha entertained enough that they don't blow up the planet but uninterested enough that they don't actively observe.

I think it would be a great end to both character arcs.

Gepard gets more screentime and learns to question orders (it'd be nice to see his friendship with Bronya damaged, cause technically he is her uncle (Cocolia adopted Bronya while she was still in a relationship with Serval, making him an uncle)). Maybe he also reaches the conclusion of still being a Silvermane Guard for the sake of protecting the people but not actively following the Supreme Guardian because he lost faith in her.

Sampo gains a home and (gasp) love (platonic, romantic, doesn't matter). He'll feel like he belongs somewhere, a permanent home. Not matter if he leaves the planet for a day or a year, he'll still be welcome. His reputation improves and his skill is used for the betterment of Belobog. His mask is allowed to slip, even just a little.

[mbirnsings-71]

sometimes!! You just gotta draw Conner Kent so that's what I did!!

(Outfit inspo down below because I found the skirt on Pinterest so like yeehaw-)