#BEHOLD A VERY VERY VERY RAMBLING LINE OF THOUGHT

[polarisdelphi]

Continuing my Arthurian concepts, Lancelot of the Lake (I wanted it to be Lancelot du Lac, but alas, it looked really bad on his sheet, with the fancy font and all). As I did with Arthur, we have Lancelot and his sword - again, I just have a thing for designing fancy swords :')

His whole concept is blue, because you know... Of the Lake. Child of Avalon. It had to be blue hahaha every detail on his sword/armour is to look like plants, fountains and water.

I also wanted his sword to have that ~clashing~ of fluid like fountain shapes and rectangular, harsh line shapes because even if he is water, he is also constant in his loyalty, beliefs and is someone you can rely on.

(oh I told you guys I have some hot takes regarding Lancelot, Guinevere and all that... 'TIS LOTTIE TIME NOW)

Also did the whole ~testing Photoshop layers thing~ again and, lo and behold, we have some vitral looking version of Lancelot. It can also be him during one of the rituals in Avalon, who knows ;)

More ramblings on my version of Lancelot, what I thought during his design, who he is to me as a character and why he has that insufferable smug smile, under the cut below hahahaha

(fangirling? yes, fangirling over arthurian legend, yee been warned)

First things first: YES, Ioan Gruffud.

I fell in love with Lancelot because of him in the 2005 King Arthur movie and that is FOREVER the vision I have of Lancelot, this man has SINGLE-HANDEDLY made me believe he is a loyal friend and a little shit at the same time and there is NO room for another Lancelot in my mind.

I fucking love him so much

The 2005 movie is one of my favourite versions (I was 13 when I first watched it, he was my teenage crush, I'll love it to death) - but it does leave a lot of the characters out to create a whole other story on its own. I love it, but there's so much more on Arthurian Legend we can work on!

My Lancelot, then: yes, prince of Benoic. Taken by Avalon, raised by the Lady of the Lake, ruthless in combat. Best Knight of the Round Table, could even be better than Arthur (some say), and fiercely loyal to his companions and commander.

One hell of a womanizer, though. This man can't see a good looking woman - or even man, for that matter - without starting to flirt and say some things that would make even the gods flush. Everyone laughs while Galahad wants to die every single time Lancelot's flirty mode is ON.

Pretty useful when they have more stealthy missions that require lying, deception and cheating - be it men or women, Lancelot's charm will NEVER fail.

(other more "brutish" Knights, so to speak, say it's his Avalon ✨ pixie charm ✨ - and really, the man doesn't disagree)

Even if he is very loyal to his friends, brothers in arms, and his beloved Arthur, he can't be like that in romances, though. Lancelot's love is a quick flame that burns down an entire forest in the blink of an eye and it's put out quickly with a heavy rain the day after, while Arthur's love is a lingering fire on a winter night, keeping his lovers warm and away from harm as long as it has wood or coal to burn.

That's why I chose to give Lancelot a more reliable look with all the rectangular shapes, constant stripes and more of a "bulky" look compared to Arthur (Arthur has more of a slim-strong constitution). But he also has some sharp points, because of how dangerous he is, and the ever flowing shapes of the water of Avalon - like his very flowy dark blue cape.

He's always covered in blood too. He is the best Knight, he has no problems when it comes to killing, and he doesn't have Arthur's moral compass. If he has to be ruthless, he will be.

(told ya this man lives rent free in my head)

And that's very important to his character, in my opinion. Lancelot is a pagan, he doesn't mind bloodshed, and he certainly has no issues with giving in to lust and earthly pleasures. There is no Heaven to judge him, and no Hell to burn him. He is fatally human. Not trying to be better and to go on a moral high horse when his hands are covered in blood and his only talent is death - just surviving his times as he can.

HENCE - and brace yourselves for hot take time! - why he loves Guinevere, but he's in NO WAY a better man than Arthur. He would stop his flirting and womanizing shenanigans for her, but WHY would she give up someone so absurdly upstanding and unreal like Arthur for him? And he doesn't want her to. She deserves better than him. He loves being around her, his heart aches, but how many hearts hasn't he broken? It's kind of a poetic justice sort of thing in his view.

And he wouldn't sleep with her, not when she loves Arthur and Arthur loves her so fucking much. He might be a little shit, yes, sassy, bitter, hedonistic and even annoying at times - but he is loyal. He doesn't love easy, and when he does, he loves hard. And he loves Arthur too much to do the one thing that would destroy the man he would give his life for.

He's a bastard, but he does have standards. A bastard with feelings :)

Jokes aside, this is, again, MY take on Lancelot. MY Lancelot, is all fun and games, will argue religion with every single catholic/christian he meets on his way, will get covered in blood during battle, will kill with no remorse, will drink with no remorse, will indulge in sex and break hearts with no remorse.

But he will give his life for his friends - he will sacrifice everything for those he loves, and his loyalty can never be bought - for in the end of the day, if he's lying on the grass choking in his own blood, he knows those are the ones who would come to his aid. He knows Arthur would rather die for him than watch him die - even if Lancelot thinks this would be the utmost stupid-est and unfairest thing to ever do.

The world deserves and needs an Arthur in it - not a Lancelot.

In my Arthurian Legend, this is his character, this is who he is. A lot more darkness and existential dread, pleasures and adrenaline rushes in battle to cover up how flawed he thinks he is - even if bards sing of his heroic feats, his reputation is that of a hero and women everywhere swoon upon hearing his name, painting him as a knight in shining armour.

He's not - he's a womanizer in a blood stained armour, pledging his killing skills to someone who has a better, idealistic view of the world and higher moral standards than him.

If you read all of this, thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and do know I suffered immensily not making him a dual-wielding killing powerhouse.

[phaerlax]

you as the WolfBoyGuy and me as someone who has just recently seen the puppy light, do you have any tips or what you'd consider Required Reading to get a good grip on writing wolf boys? moreso karu than garu just because i personally have a hard time writing dudes with as much bluster and "doesn't tend to default to conventionally agreed on niceties". i have (admittedly mild) torments I'd like to put him through >_>

Anon is asking me about blorbo... I have been training for this for so long... behold now the ramblings of a man possessed by two wolves. I'll talk a bit about how I approach writing Karu and then include some curated recs.

It took me some time to really get going on wolfboy fics; I also found it challenging to handle Karu's characterization. Two big reasons why:

Tsunderes are just difficult to do if you're grounded in realism. It's a very 'anime' archetype and people don't behave quite like that. This makes it harder to naturally reach for reasonable/appropriate responses when putting the character in situations. The big want/think/say/do splits can also complicate straightforward scenarios (e.g. the character wants something and does what he needs to do in order to get it. This path is often closed to the tsundere).

The game gives little insight into Karu's inner world. NU: Carnival is very dialogue-heavy in its narrative. When we do get introspection, it's often Eiden-focused. This means we basically never get to see the thought process that leads Karu to act this way or that, except in the rare instances in which he talks to himself (like in some H scenes when he goes "ugh it feels so good but-").

The style that I ended up developing for my angry wolf boy writings follows these principles:

Keep him silly. This is because I fundamentally see Karu as a comical character. Yeah, his personality can be traced back to traumas and there's a lot of interesting stuff to explore in that regard, but I am not personally interested in that tbh. The reason I love him is the wacky nonsense and ridiculous behavior that we see in the game. It was at first sight for me. I didn't need depth and I still don't XD Any advice and references I provide are skewed by that. I have a preference for almost never taking him seriously.

Mind his 'narrativization' tendencies. Karu is comically very enamored by the idea/narrative that he's a mighty warrior with many great skills who will conquer humanity and who should be respected and served. On some level, he knows this isn't entirely true, so he will sometimes (try to) avoid situations that would bring attention to his shortcomings. But most often he's trying to prove himself and get others to share his narrative. When something or someone reinforces the narrative, he gets proud, pleased or happy-flustered. When something or someone goes against the narrative, he gets annoyed and angry-flustered. He is very good at ignoring reality, however. Even though he'll seemingly take exception to every little slight, he moves on very quickly and pretends nothing happened. And though he's stubborn, he's also willing to surrender, cut his losses and 'try another day' when he's foiled.

Mix his narrativization with the narration a lot. This kind of free indirect discourse is just my style in general, but with Karu I find myself using it more intensely, to such an extent that the narration can get quite dialogue-like in how it expresses his thoughts. When I want to portray a 'tsundere stumble' moment, I sometimes make the narration interrupt itself as Karu consciously aborts a line of thinking that would lead him to unacceptable conclusions.

Let him just be rude for no reason and with little consequence. Karu's default way of addressing and dealing with people (other than Kuya) is rudeness. At best, he attempts some form of condescension in which the reason he's doing something 'nice' is because you're so weak and he's so awesome or whatever. Most characters seem to simply not mind his behavior and, again, it's usually played for laughs anyway.

Bibliography of Karu Studies

Keep in mind that many Karu fics are kuyaru, and Karu in kuyaru is quite different from the core of the character, since he's uniquely eager to please Kuya. Still, even kuyarus can have some nice insight.

who let the dogs out has a lot of juicy Karu inner conflict, and it even explores the ways in which such hangups make him outwardly grumpier. Due to kuyaru, it ultimately leads him to a place of submission, but his initial thoughts are very in-character.

Baser Instincts is a kuyaru in which Kuya gets to see the pups in a new light, because they help him in a difficult situation. It's another great source of inspiration for Karu struggling to express his feelings.

Bow Down! explores how he might react to Eiden letting him top, in a very true-to-character way.

Lonely at the Top is Karu/Dante, which means you get to see Karu at his prickliest and most insufferable, and how that can be managed.

A Matter of Pride is a good example of the 'concessions' dynamic that can be done in Eiden/Karu.

Goshujin-Ai is an older Karu/Yakumo and a good example of Karu feeling comfortable and doing the 'attempts at condescension' thing I mentioned before.

Slave number one, rub my chest again is me speculating on what it might look like for Karu to ask Eiden to do things to him and try to control sex.

Warden slander wolf Commander is probably a good example of the 'fine I give up but I'll get you next time' potential of Karu, as well as the kind of bleed-heavy narration I talked about.

Master, do you have another wolf besides me?! delves into Karu's potential for jealousy as a way of expressing affection. It's pretty canon-compliant because most of it is adapted from NEON Carnival.

There are many other fics in the Karufic Archive, but I think the ones above are among the best for the purposes of thinking about the writing.

Please feel free to talk to me non-anonymously if you ever want to discuss wolf boy content! As you can see I am cursed with thoughts and need places to put them. I'm also always very happy to do anything that I can to shepherd and sponsor GaruKaru content; if you go ahead with your impulse to write about them (please do) and want a beta reader, don't hesitate to ask~

[infinialtairs]

Y'ALL! BEHOLD FINALLY, I CAN INTRODUCE CASPER INTO CAPTAIN LASERHAWK FANDOM!!!

i kinda had him in my mind for long time, refining how he would fit in the universe, i'm still NOT 100% sure how he'll develop or progress as a character (doing fan oc for fandom is very difficult for me :'>)

so just enjoy homeless shady fox man before you there's some quirky lil stuff about him, like the fact he'll be very flirty towards people, acting all charming and cute but not to seek any romantic interest (unless it just...kinda would happen natrually) but more to hide his deep insecurity (living poor, not really great friend when he will joke about your dead pet or family member or something along those lines..)

And about his design, you don't really have to lean towards one or the other fully (like when i'll draw him, i might still keep the yellow sclera like in more "official" art style but still mainly draw him in simplify version), i'm not picky, i just wanted to show how you can draw him basically if that make sense ^^' sorry for too much rambling

(also i made this as a random thought last night, Casper would be 100% a dumbass, going way over his head and wonders why he's always ending up in weirdest places..)

[dumbfinntales]

I recently completed a game that caught me completely by surprise. My Friendly Neighborhood. On the surface you might look at it and go “ugh another yucky mascot horror indie slop?” and trust me, when I initially saw the game I thought the same thing. I’ve fundamentally grown to dislike mascot horror, or kid friendly horror. So few games actually get it right, and most are really dumb. I’m not gonna name any so I don’t upset people, but imagine if you take Bob the builder. Okay, now he’s Frank the breaker and oh he has sharp teeth and red eyes. That’s how these types of games seem like to me.

So I kind of dismissed MFN when I first saw it. But lo and behold, a few days after the games release I saw a tweet on twitter of someone calling it a “survival horror” game and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked into it and by god, it really is one, and inspired by classic Resident Evil titles too. A fucking RE clone with muppets? I gave the game a chance and it blew me away. MFN is a genuinely fun and competent survival horror game with great atmosphere, fun combat and intriguing puzzles to solve.

The best part to me is that the game isn’t trying too hard to be scary. Sure it’s called survival “horror”, but it feels kinda light hearted and does parody of popular horror tropes like a bathtub with a body in it that you have to drain for an item. The puppets themselves are really charming and I enjoyed their demented rambles. My favorite line went something like “My friend recently really upset me. So you know what I did? I SHOVED them into the ground and STOMPED their face!” and they say all this in a very muppety voice which is hilarious. The point is that they’re not giving the puppets sharp teeth and demented lines like “I’ll eat your flesh” in order to be “scary”. The devs knew it would be impossible to make the muppets scary, so they leaned more on a parody.

Being inspired by classic RE games the game has a lot of familiar DNA like obscure puzzles, doors that require specific keys, backtracking, inventory management and even limited saves. Although on survival difficulty there was more than plenty of resources and save points so I never felt like I was running out of saves, or ammo or even health. The level design was also great and the world looped on itself in interesting ways and backtracking wasn’t as tedious and there was always some surprises waiting for you.

The game also seems plenty replayable and you can unlock different cheats by finding collectibles around the world. It isn’t overly long, which to me is a plus especially in a game that’s meant to be replayable, so I’ll definitely play through the game again on harder difficulties and maybe chase after some achievements.

But do I have anything negative to say? Well mainly nitpicks. The game could have benefited from more basic enemy types than just the puppets that chase after you and the small hand puppets. There’s also level specific “hazard” puppets, if you can call them that, but I dunno. It would have felt a little more interesting with some variation in what enemies you normally encounter. There’s also only two proper bosses in the game and the first one is way too easy as it goes down with just two grenades. I genuinely thought it had a second phase or I’d encounter it again, but nope. The last boss was alright, although really easy to avoid. At least it took a fight.

So yeah. How’s that for an indie surprise? There’s a lesson to be learned, never judge a book by its cover. But can you blame me for doubting? There’s way too many kiddie horror games trying to have deep lore and be all spooky and failing horribly. But MFN is a genuine gem, if you enjoy classic survival horror games do give it a try!

[silent-browser]

I wish to ramble, so here I am rambling.

I have been impatiently waiting for the next chapter of a manga called I'm being raised by villains and it is so so good. And with potential for every ML involved to be a yandere.

I will be talking about plot so spoilers are inevitable. You have been warned.

Okie dokie with that out of the way.

As far as the most recent chapter for me (ch.23) there are 2 love interests (1 who is definitely Yan) and 1 in-the-process-of-breaking platonic yan dad.

I will ramble my thoughts on each of them in the order they appear in the manga.

The dad.

Man's really pulled a "At first I was like, haha my child, as a joke. But bro, I don't think it's a joke anymore". Dude went "BEHOLD! A CHILD!" to "BEHOLD! MY CHILD!" Fucking love this trope.

He realized that he loved this kid and then she was humiliated, hurt and vanished and it is heavily implied that he's not doing so well up in the brain space because his beloved daughter is missing and I can't wait for him to break.

It likely won't happen but I really want to see him go on some grief fueled rampage, looking desperately for his daughter.

This possibility has inspired a different yandere werewolf fic that is still in the works (oop. More spoilers I guess 👀)

The Magician

This one already broke :)

Sweet little baby mc is off on her own and trying to find this boys parents and he's furious because she's missing technically and he might be feeling abandoned by, not only his birth family but also his new found family that he has with her. She is his mental stability your honor.

The new guy

He's literally been here for like 2 chapters and he's already calling this tiny 5 year old his master and barking for her. Bro, she gave you bread, chill.

I can see is future yandere the being a manipulative one. Maybe to her (pwease let me stay 🥺), definitely to the people around or in her way(you are clearly of no more use to her so why don't you go to that cliff over there and jump ☺️).

He's going to be either her most loyal servant and right hand man or her most prominent annoyance.

I have left out much as it does not contribute to the discussion on yanderes. Also I wanna try a secret second thing out. So go read or re-read this manga right now damn it! I am very much enjoying it.

Aww can't have an infinite list of "read more" lines. Damn. Oh well

The massive thing I left out!

1. It's Isekai. I like Isekai, sue me.

2. SHES A MOTHER FUKN DRAGON BITCH!!! AND HER LITTLE WINGS ARE BEGINNING TO GROW IN! They are currently only just little nublets but I can't wait until she reveals herself in all her majestic dragon-y glory!

That is all. Have a very nice "time_frame".

[jadebread64]

time for me to post my bullshit ramblings on the new doctor who episode in no particular order like a maniac lol

(SPOILERS AHOY, DONT CLICK ON THE READMORE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE EPISODE)

obviously seeing tennant and tate back in their roles is so cool, they feel exactly as they should, it doesnt even feel like 15 years have passed when you watch them its great

DONNA CANONICALLY HAS A NONBINARY DAUGHTER AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HER ALSO BEING PART OF THE METACRISIS TIME LORD SHIT IS SUPER COOL

lmao im not even joking when i first saw the meep™ i literally thought "aww it's so cute i hope it doesnt end up being evil" and LO AND BEHOLD

OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT JUST SUDDENLY PUTTING ON A FUCKING JUDGE WIG AND DOING A COURTROOM SCENE WITH THE MEEP AND THE WRARTH WHILE DONNA AND HER CONCERNED FAMILY JUST OBSERVE

also i think the wrarth voices are so funny cause in the trailers they're like *auurhghghg scary monster sounds!!1!* but in the episode they just sound british like every doctor who space alien should

i think the new TARDIS looks really cartoony and i think it's kinda fun, idk if ncuti is gonna end up with this TARDIS set (i'd imagine the bbc doesnt have the budget to make a whole TARDIS set for 4 episodes then just make a new one lol) but i think it looks kinda plain at the moment? idk if they added some chairs and bookshelves n shit like the capaldi one and make it look more lived in overtime it might be one of my favourites just for the whole classic who vibe it has. either way it's perfect for david he gets to run around like a little kid in there and thats all that matters lol

also tennants new suit looks so fucking good and honestly wish he just had that in series 2-4 instead of the brown suit

i think it's so funny how literally not even 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS donna just fucking spills her coffee on the console and the whole thing just explodes and goes to shit immediately lmao

ALSO WE'RE GETTING A FULL ON TENNANT/TATE ADVENTURE NEXT WEEK???? AM I IN 2008 OR 2023 I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE TIME HAS NO MEANING

im really hoping we get to see whoever the fuck neil patrick harris' character is in the next episode, im 99% sure it's gonna be the celestial toymaker but only because the doctor who youtube account kept posting celestial toymaker clips and i think they're being cheeky bastards lol (/positive)

(/sarcasm) i cant wait to see all the queerphobic assholes shitting on this episode for having the few pronouns/binary lines in it and going "dOcTor wHo iS wOkE nOw yUcK" even though doctor who has been progressive since literally 1963 with the daleks (which got a fancy new colourization that i need to check out still but thats a whole OTHER THING LOL)

oh yeah and david's acting is really fucking good in this, like when he thinks wilf has died and he just sorrowfully says "i loved that man." like MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

plus when he thinks he has to sacrifice donna to save everybody, holy shit his perfomance is incredible

this is just a me thing but seeing a doctor who episode live as its broadcasting is so cool, i've been watching this show for like 8 years (i think??) and i usually just ended up finding it on dailymotion or some shit like a day or two after the episode aired so i'd always be late for it lol (btw for the people coming after me i dont pay for disney+ at all lol) so watching it the at the same time as everyone else was very cool especially since i nearly slept in through it lmao

anyways i think thats all if i remember any more things i'll add em in lol

plus some bonus ramblings before the episode aired

[vixthefantheorist]

Going Back through to Argentum Inanis (the audio of the Video)

So earlier... -looks at time- last night, I popped out a theory ramble on @smoliboops post about the badges of Anomaly Found and from there some peeps also threw their thoughts on it, @n-anon being one of them and also @scarlet-witch-angel made one on it, very good theories and thoughts all around. I also thank @intothebutterflyburrow for having it appear on my dash when he reblogged it. Thank you! :D

So yeah I saw smoliboops' post, rambled like a loon for an hour typing it on phone about my thoughts, which activated Scarlet witch's theorist brain (:D) and made her own theory, which I found very interesting. I do need to get around to reading those theories you mentioned, Scarlet, I'm curious.

Anyway, what she pointed out in the audio of Argentum Inanis of Anti sounding like he said "Oh! I found the Time!" Which intrigued me, I spoke with @septicuniverse (I have her on Discord) because she was curious of what I thought of Scarlet's theory (I loved it); but I also wondered if that's what Anti said in the video.

Which brings me to yeeting my theorist ass over to the video and listen to it... it was pretty garbled with warped vocals and sirens screeching because Anti had to talk to Marvin through Silent Hill's phoneline. (I SWTG ANTI... SPEAK MORE CLEARLY OR I WILL WRING YOUR NECK!)

But it was possible to hear what Scarlet heard, but I decided to rip the audio from the video and yeet it into Audacity! (-jazz hands- Everyone's favorite game of Clear That Audio!) Yeah, we all know I'm not the best at all with these... but I try.

But I was messing with the audio to try to clear things up. As well as practice with audio volume~

And... I got a few different lines that I could make out in the audio because you know garbled mess.

The first one I heard was "Do you want in? There's time!" which made me believe Anti was very well aware of Marvin's presence with the orb and taunted him from watching Anti's work in the safety of his magical home/lair... where the hell Magic man lives. Thus inviting him into the chaos he was making, curious to see if Marvin can and will do anything.

And given Scarlet's information of Sean and Robin implying that the black eyes on Marvin showed him being possessed by Anti... which led me to believe he took the challenge... and failed. For that timeline maybe... (I guess?) or Marvin allowed Anti to possess him to see if he could glean any information from Anti's connection to him to try to turn the tide of this chaos Anti was causing. Does he succeed? I have no idea.

But wanting to be doubly sure, I tweaked and listened to the audio again for another hour, and then realized that it wasn't 'In' but 'Him' in the audio. Which turns it to "Do you want him? There's time!" which shocked the hell out of me because that made a bit more sense, thinking to Anomaly Found, there were was a small group that broke into the IRIS facility to do something, whether to break Chase out, or break themselves out if they were captured (or let them capture to try to get closer to Chase) or something else altogether that had them fucking around in the building at the time Anti decided to turn into into his personal playground.

Anti knew Marvin was watching his movements, watched everything he did, trying to find or understand what the hell Anti was doing and why (or he knew and trying to locate his main victim to prevent shit from happening). Either way, Anti was well aware of Marvin watching him and taunted him about having Chase in his grasp and if Marvin wanted to stop Anti, he had to act. Again, Anti inviting Marvin to challenge him for Chase's freedom and fix everything... somehow. I'm just guessing here.

Again, I wanted to be doubly sure and I knew I couldn't really clean the audio as well as I wanted to... it's just too difficult for me even though I am trying really hard on these... and figured to roll all the changes back to start clean and try new things to do with it to fix it up.

Lo and behold, I fucking heard it in the audio in its original form... if only the siren wasn't there it'd be clearer. But... It's still the same "You want him? There's Time!" but... I realized, in hearing it and looking to the audio image... the first half of the saying is cut off...

"Do you want him__- There's Time!"

Which made me realize -why- the second half was garbled. It wasn't just the screeching siren Anti loves so much, but the fact the first half of the audio overlapped the second.

And I had to listen to this several more times trying to focus on the overlap and I heard it... because the second half of the first sentence not only overlaps but warped into a robotic sound.

"Do you want him -back, MARVIN-? There's Time!" (or 'First... TRY!' of Anti taunting Marvin for not doing anything but yearning to get 'him' back. So if he wants 'him' back he has to at least DO something rather than wait for someone else to do it for him)

(PLEASE for the love of Theorist Gods, be careful with the audio... It's kinda loud since I did fiddle with the amplify feature of Audacity to raise the volume some... I hope at least. I mean it's not a whisper but still be careful. I don't want anyone having ringing ears or going deaf because of me. D: )

^ That is the original audio just amplified.

^And that one is the edited one that's a little lower but still kinda loud but I edited it to try to make it as clear as possible. This one since I was trying to dampen out the background noise, the robotic "back, Marvin" is bit harder to hear but its still there (or easier, depending on whose listening to it)

I was fucking FLOORED when I heard that. (Or I have lost my mind... if its that then I apologize, my fellow theorists and fans of the Septic Egos) This just leads more of the fact that Anti and Marvin KNOW each other on some level. Which opens up a slew of other possible theories or lends some weight to already existing ones of Marvin and Anti having some kind of history.

Now comes the question of which 'Him' Anti is taunting Marvin with. Chase? Given that Chase is the protag and the main target of Anti. Makes sense.

But... remember who else was captured by Anti~

That's right! JJ!

It makes SO MUCH SENSE NOW! Especially with all those other theories I've seen of JJ and Marvin knowing each other. JJ's First Appearance! He fell through Time and ended up in the past. And him mentioning that he arrived far too early! (why was he there in the first place? What did he mean by that? That was never answered because Anti too possession of him and swept him away.)

THEN we have JJ's Jolly Jaunts! A puppet stage that has the symbols of the main cards on it and looked something part of a stage show for the younger kids. Why does it have the card symbols, something Marvin has on his own mask, on it and not just JJ's own flair? Unless, the two were partners in magic shows. Marvin took care of the older audience with his magic and JJ took care of the younger audience with his stories, songs with the puppets.

It's possible that not only Marvin was part of the Magic Circle but JJ was as well. I mean why else would Marvin just hurl him in time with actual magic if the Magic Circle was very secretive of this stuff... especially the Inner Magic Circle, unless JJ was a member too?

And in Jolly Jaunts, Anti taunts Marvin with a puppet show and clearly shows JJ's state of being and helplessness. JJ, himself, at the end of it pleads for someone to help him. Pleading to Marvin to help him.

Just HOLY SHIT... this goes deep, guys... Damn, Sean you are fucking good at this. Guys, we really need to start paying attention to the audio... it can crack some shit wide open with them.

But yeah... just my rambling thoughts... again... Thank you all for reading if you made it this far. I apologize that I rambled your ears off.

Edit :

I wrote this in the middle of the night. I really need to stop doing that lol. But do keep in mind that this is all assumptions and theory based on some garbled audio.

I don't know if Marvin and Anti (or rather Argentum Inanis) have history together in the not so friendly terms. (Likely they do since the Magic Circle has a book on Argentum and time spells.)

Nor do I know for certain if JJ and Marvin also have a history together as friends, let alone partners of a magic show. Or if JJ was a part of the Magic Circle.

Hell for all we know Anti could have taken Jackie as well and that's why he hasn't shown up. And that's the "him" Anti refers to in Argentum Inanis video. Probably not likely but still possible.

Or it could be a completely different "him" that Marvin is trying to save.

Oh... Just realized that could answer somethings with Anti's rant in KJSE... "If you want him back so badly, then why don't you save him?" Was he speaking about C!Jack? Not just then but in Argentum? Or again someone else altogether since there are more characters in this story besides the six Egos now? Hmm curious...

[goldensmilingbird]

felix for ♦ (quirks/hobbies), ▼ (childhood), and/or ൠ (random)?

♦️ (quirks/hobbies): I always thought he would be into history and mythology (and the fact that in canon he named himself Argos made me happy because of that). But also I love that the bible states that "the only hobby he allows himself" is art. It would give him and Bri something to bond over, and it's just nice seeing a character who chooses to go into STEM but is also artistic. I don't want him to be perfect at everything though. Maybe his drawings are anatomically correct, but not very expressive. Maybe he writes mediocre poetry sometimes and doesn't show it to anyone. Stuff like that. I feel like Bri gets not only infatuated with him, but also inspired by him? Like he's kind of a muse for her. There is a line about how she wants to create beautiful things that bring happiness to people. And I want him to get inspired by her too. I think also, as he starts opening up to people more, it would be easy to get him infodumping. He would be that kind of person in the group that knows a lot of random stuff, from historical facts to how to get out blood and coffee out of clothes. He would probably read Wikipedia for fun, tbh

▼ (childhood): Okay, I have, like, a vague backstory for him in my head, but it's not defined yet. The backstory the bible gives him is "hothead/daredevil, kinda spoiled, got into an accident and now wants to regain his old abilities". I kinda want to take some stuff from that and mix with my old interpretation. I had an idea that instead of the accident, it was a genetic chronic illness that made him disabled and also led to his mom dying. And I'm also attached to the headcanon of him being in ballet class with Allegra before all of that went down. So due to his illness, his father insists that he is homeschooled and Allegra is the only kid he is still in contact with. They try different treatments and such, and finally his father decides to move to Paris so he can get better education and treatment there. Him and Allegra get separated and the next time they meet is when he's allowed to go to public school - and lo and behold, there is a familiar face.

ൠ (random) - This is really random, but I like to headcanon him as face blind. He still can't recognise Ladybug because of magic, but he also struggles with recognising people when they just change clothes or hairstyles. And people attribute that to him being rude or not paying attention, meanwhile he is just internally going "am I supposed to know this person??" Needless to say, it doesn't help to make connections with people.

Thank you for your ask! I like rambling about him. If anyone wants to, you can still ask me

[dilatorywriting]

So on the topic of our experiences with twst cards, I thought I'd share some of mine lol.

My luck is pretty unbalanced. I got Malleus and Jamil's Sclading Sands cards on the same pull, which was also my FIRST pull.

But when I was pulling for Malleus' birthday SSR (Which I really really wanted) I was on my 58th pull or so, the most I've actively tried to pull for a specific card and I didn't get him at all.

On the other hand, earlier that month for Lilia's birthday, I randomly decided to do a single pull impulsively and Lo and behold Lilia's SSR birthday card came home on that single pull.

One of my weirdest experiences is one with Tsum Leona recently. I wanted to pull for Leona or Riddle's Tsum, but more of Leona's because I wanted a Leona SSR. I did get both Cater and Floyd's Tsumsitter cards, but still no SSR. so I went on discord, and saw that someone pulled one of Malleus' cards in a ten pull summon and said something along the lines of 'Are you really going to let Malleus appear on your banner?' and the lo and behold the Leona Tsumsitter came home that same pulled.

I tried it and it WORKS. I just thought it was pretty hilarious. Maybe the cards really are sentient after all.

I guess one more flex is that Epel's sledathon card came home on the first ten pull on his banner lol.

Ah! sorry for rambling!

It's always fun to hear the wild and wonderful tales of Gacha Game woes. Like, my luck is also fucking all over the place. I pulled for Cater's Birthday SSR with the free key set, and got it twice in the same set. It was so wild that I was convinced that meant you auto got the birthday cards in the pull no matter what, which obviously is not the case, which my flatmate immediately confirmed for me when hers very much did not do that lol I pulled all the way to 100 for Azul, and still didn't get his dorm SSR. Yet I've gotten Jade and Floyd's at least three times each at this point in completely random pulls. Still don't have Azul's. Sebek's birthday also came home in his one random pull, and somehow I've managed to get every single Cater SSR by accident but have had to go buck wild saving keys and whatever and use all of them whenever there's a specific card I'm aching for (minus the one Vil Dorm SSR incident which was A Wild Anomaly).

[shadymissionary]

Hi, I feel like rambling here for a bit. I have a kinda life-changing conversation coming up tonight that I'm both extremely excited and extremely anxious about.

My partner and I have more or less been in a polyamorous relationship with our two close friends for...idk, 3 years? We've been getting very close with them over the years, and now that we all live in the same city and see each other frequently, it's almost always on my mind. And polyamory can be scary and confusing!! There is almost no framework for it that we learn about growing up, like with monogamous relationships, and so it feels a lot harder to navigate all of the questions and uncertainties.

Circumstances could not have lined up more perfectly to have this conversation though, so I'm feeling good about things. And it's just going to be an enormous relief to be open and honest with my friends about things that I've been holding in for years.

These two are so important to me, I love them so much they're like family, and I've felt so insecure about speaking up about certain things due to the fear of their reactions and potentially damaging our relationship. But I know they love me too and will be completely understanding.

I'm so happy to have an amazing partner that has listened to me vent about this stuff for years now, and his support feels like the one thing that has kept me sane. And I'm glad that I finally have the confidence and motivation to move through all of this uncertainty into a healthier relationship for all of us.

I've been doing a lot of work on myself lately, starting HRT, journaling, going back to therapy, reading mental health books, and listening to mental health podcasts. Last week I was listening to a lecture on Individuation, from Jungian psychology, and the concept of synchronicity was introduced to me. Basically, finding a connection between your own thoughts/desires and the things happening around you in the world. And to recognize when the universe is slapping you in the face telling you to do something.

I had an amazing therapy session yesterday and discussed the feelings I'm having, and how I finally feel ready to address them so I can move on from all this stress. But not knowing how best to find a time to talk about these things and get the conversation started has been the obstacle. I left the session knowing I had to reach out to the two I need to talk to and see if there's a time we could meet and chat. I even had a time limit on myself of getting this done before they host a Halloween party next weekend.

Lo and behold, just a few hours after yesterday's therapy session, I get a text from them asking us to come hang out tonight. Normally I would think up some reason not to, just wanting to chill at home on a Tuesday night, but it was so clear that the opportunity to talk was literally being handed to me. It makes me feel like the world is telling me to do this, and that it's gonna be okay.

I am going to cry so, so hard. But it's going to feel good to get it all off my chest. It's kinda scary, I've never cried in front of either of them that I can recall. So I know it's going to be a surprise that I've been holding all of these feelings in for years. More than anything, I just want the four of us to all be on the same page.

What's also kind of funny to me is like... in most respects, this should be a very easy step for me, but I've had to do so much to build my confidence in order to have this conversation. Earlier this month I came out as non-binary to my parents, and then soon after to my whole extended family. Like, that stuff should have been the hard part! And it was, don't get me wrong, but it didn't take nearly as much effort and crying as it has to prepare myself for tonight's conversation. The impossible task in my mind has been "open up about your feelings to your closest friends." And I'm certain now that I can do it, and that it will work out. ♥

This final dungeon music has been playing in my head all day as this conversation looms in the near future. Fitting that I just got to this point in Baten Kaitos last night hehe. I am gonna survive from that mf force!!

[litfeathers]

Behind the scenes of Evelyn's Journal

Since this was a bigger project, I thought I'd make a behind the scenes post to talk about how it came together, and share some easter eggs!

———

Firstly, I want to impress how long it took to record and edit this thing. An almost 15 minute long runtime is a MARATHON! It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun and definitely worth it!

———

The wanted poster and meetinghouse graffiti are direct references to my fic A Most Certain, Strange, and True Discovery of a Witch. This is the poster Evelyn grabbed on her little vandalism excursion:

———

The frustrated look that Evelyn described Caleb making was this absolute classic:

(the wet cat gene is strong)

———

Evelyn’s bird drawings are a reference to her book of bird sketches from my fic There Are Owls and Witches in These Woods. Her sketch book has been passed down the generations of the Clawthorne family, and is my explanation for why they all have human realm bird palismen! They use her book for ideas! :D

———

Did anyone notice something special or significant about the day Evelyn and Caleb had their picnic? 😏

———

There is an AU where I kept this in /j

———

This is a cut line. I am not sure if this is me talking at the end, or Evelyn lmao

———

...the reason I was watching Elsewhere and Elsewhen in my sound booth? I was listening to Philip’s accent to figure out how Evelyn would imitate Caleb ahahahha

———

If you…let’s say…recognize Evelyn’s cackle?

*Slowly puts her finger on her lips*

Shh. No. No, you don’t. /lh

———

The light spells poofing at the end? That is actually Eda de-transforming from harpy mode at the end of Reaching Out! It was such a nice, clean poof! No background music or dialogue to work around! *chef kiss*

———

If you've read my fics, you can consider this story an alternate ending for There are Owls and Witches in These Woods. Everything up to the week in which this journal was written remains the same. There is a divergence when Evelyn decides she needs to protect Caleb by breaking off their friendship. Let’s just say that evening played out very differently. I'll let you guess and imagine for yourself what happened when Evelyn tried to break things off with Caleb. But I will give you this hint: his wish was very important. 😉

———

This is the sketch I sent @bananadramaaa to show what I wanted for the cover art. Behold my artistic skills:

It was so cool to watch the cover art come to life! It was only the second time I’ve ever commissioned an artist (and first time commissioning something complicated), and it was such a positive experience! If you need art for something and their commissions are open, I HIGHLY recommend them!

(Also we snuck a few easter eggs into the art ehehehe)

———

And it's time for some final thoughts.

I wanted to do something REALLY cool to sort of…I guess serve as a love letter to The Owl House? This show has been an amazing ride, and I wanted to create something as cool as I could to show my appreciation!

I wanted to show my gratitude to this silly, funny, wonderful, heartwarming show for existing. And to thank it for getting me writing and voice acting again. I am so grateful I decided to sit down and watch it last summer. I was lured in with the promise of witches and magic and owls, and ended up with a story that spoke to me so deeply.

Thank you, Dana. Thank you, crew.

And for anyone who made it this far, thanks for checking out my silly recording, and for being interested in my rambling. I hope you had fun!

Seriously. Thank you. 🔥🪶

[verpine95]

OK ITS MY BLOG AND IM TALKING ABOUT SPIDER-MAN (can't forget the hyphen between spider and man) AND SPIDER-MAN SUITS NOW

this was copy pasted from me talking about it to people and i wanna share it here for anyone who cares and this is literally just me rambling because i want to and i love spider-man and im not a lore master so don't be mad when i mess up my lore

(beneath the cut and it's long as an fyi)

One of my favorite spiderman suits/characters is Spiderman 2099 aka Miguel O’Hara. He’s a guy from the year 2099 where the modern day heroes have passed and we live in a cyberpunk world p much. He works at a big company and pisses off the big boss who gets him addicted to a drug that like chemically bonds to your dna. He goes in a machine that’s supposed to change his dna back but it accidentally gives him spider powers. He can shoot webs (whereas peter uses webshooters), gets sharp claws and teeth and super fast relexes. He like peter is a bit of a cunt. Fun fact his suit was originally a dia de los muertos costume that he repurposed. It was also originally supposed to be black and shown with blue highlights but over time it’s been changed to just blue.

My other favorite suit for spiderman is the Scarlet Spider suit. This is from a guy named Ben Reilly who's a clone of peter parker (it's a whole thing). But anyways he realizes he's a clone and goes off to try and live his own life. He changes his name to Ben Reilly because of Uncle Ben and then Reilly because that's Aunt May's maiden name. He dyes his hair blonde and changes his name which is such a trans mood. Even tho he's distinguishing himself from who he "used to be" (read who he's cloned from) and that person is the same gender as him. It still feels very much transitional because changing your name and hair to me feels trans like (I also HC peter as trans a lot anyways sooooooooooo). But while he's trying to live his own life he says he doesn't want to be a hero. But lo and behold people are in trouble and he can't help himself so he heroes again. It's supposed to be a makeshift shoddy suit but I love the way it looks. He actually invents new types of webshooter stuff the the OG peter hadn't thought of too.

I don't like a lot of what they've done w his character cause they've killed him off so many times and also made him a villain twice but I just ignore it and think about the parts I like

At one point he takes over as The Spider-Man and uses this suit which I also think is cool but I like the scarlet spider suit more

In one comic line we see Peter Parker's daughter use Ben's suit after he's passed away which is also cool (yes it's kinda titty-ish which is an issue but I still enjoy her)

another suit i like is the superior spiderman suit from when doc ock body jacked peter parker. There are a couple things I like from the arc and many I don't but I do like the suit design

anyways that's my spiderman rant about the things i like

[sunshine304]

“Like a river flows” by @/traceyfic on twitter was the second fic where I decided on the design. I’d been in love with that decorative paper and it immediately came to mind when I thought about this fic’s design.

I’m also deeply in love with this marbled paper! For some reason, with this fic I always think about cracking glass, but it’s also got the topic of flowing energy and I though this paper fit very well.

The creases you can see are not air bubbles but the bookcloth coming through a bit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That photo of the high rise is kind of used as a frontispiece (though on the wrong side, but I can do what I want). For some reason, this stupid picture was the devil and did not want to be printed without weird colour lines etc. I tried several printers, I even tried to go the black/white route but nothing worked, it always looked atrocious. I was set on including this picture though, because I’d done quite the search for it and even downloaded new cracks brushes for PS, so! I asked a colleague and lo and behold, her printer managed to get it out with minimal lines!

Last but not least, “All caught up” was the fic that I was still typesetting when I started binding the other books. It wasn’t much left over to do, but still.

Fun story about the design: I really struggled with it and couldn’t decide. Well, I’d finally settled on the grey flowers for the cover, but I was still pondering whether to go with a blue or red colour scheme. Like dark blue for winter setting + Cloud Recesses, or red for loooove and marriage. XD I wrote a friend a long, rambling message about it with photos of the options and her reply was, “red”.

Okay then. XD

And I’m really very happy with it, it was a good decision and I’d been leaning in that direction but needed that last kick.

Unfortunately, this was when I still had some problems with pressing the books (it was the first to have the case connected to the block, in the end) and so there’s a crease in the endpaper. Booo. But ah well, that happens, and I at least didn’t make that mistake with the other fics, so there’s that.

Art by official artists. Please appreciate that trying to colour that last picture by Changyang red caused my old Photoshop to crash like a million times! XD It really hated this picture, IDK why! At least it turned out well in the end. There is unfortunately a severe lack of official art for the WangXian wedding!!!

I changed the label for this book last minute. I had wanted to match the red of the linen and then trace the title and the border with silver acrylics. But I simply couldn’t get the reds to match! I came so so close, but it was still very slightly off in the end and I lost patience. XD So I scanned the cover design and used part of that for the label as well as the red that had come closest for the text. Even though it wasn’t my first choice, I think it turned out very well and I am pleased!

I had a great time designing all the books and making them. I won’t ever make so many books at the same time again. XD I’m still not overly fond of typesetting, but what I really disliked about so many books was cutting 16 pieces of cardboard for the covers. XD XD Awful experience, would not recommend. XD XD The sewing part is nice, as is gluing all the stuff onto the case. Putting the book block into the case is still terrifying. XD

But! It was worth it as the books turned out pretty much as I’d hoped they would! I’m super happy with them and also very glad that both @/traceyfic and @ziusik​ love their books and that I could surprise them, even! :D

Previous post

[gabriel-shutterson]

I posted 3,506 times in 2022

That's 3,506 more posts than 2021!

519 posts created (15%)

2,987 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@klqrambles

@bingosomen

@suspiciouslyglowingmoss

@aftout

@aliens-took-my-iwa-chan

I tagged 1,827 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#nonlaconic rambles - 390 posts

#gothic lit - 155 posts

#frankenstein - 94 posts

#jekyll and hyde - 68 posts

#ask - 51 posts

#victor frankenstein - 41 posts

#the invisible man - 40 posts

#gabriel utterson - 36 posts

#henriel - 32 posts

#the picture of dorian gray - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#other than the punch scene the funniest part of the book imo was when charles entered france and was surprised when he got arrested

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi hello what’s your favorite quote from The Invisible Man

i’ll start, this is mine:

121 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#4

I was thinking. As an oldest child myself, I suffer from oldest child syndrome.

Now, anyone who has been following my blog lately knows that I’ve been kinning Victor lately. This got me thinking.

Frankenstein Spoilers in the following explanation

Victor has two younger siblings biologically, plus Elizabeth— a sister figure. Out of these four, he is the oldest.

When thinking about Victor, his defining personality traits (other than sopping wet and pathetic) are anxious, perfectionistic, solitary, obsessive, a little egotistical, etc etc.

Funny thing is, all of these traits are associated with eldest child syndrome. Typically, these are brought on by high parental expectations. Now, as a C*roline and Al*ones hater, it’s pretty obvious that their expectations for Victor were a little much. I mean, Caroline’s dying wish was to control Victor’s love life. Alphonse preserved this wish, even reminding Victor of this said wish while he is recovering from his arrest and death of his closest friend. Alphonse and Caroline are also probably homophobic, I will not be taking criticism at this time.

That being said, there’s almost no question as to why Victor hardly talks to his family in Ingolstadt. Why he obsesses over his work, freaks out when it’s not up to his standards, abandons the paternal role he’s been forced into all his life. Also explains why he’s only miserable when it comes to marrying Elizabeth, and doesn’t argue about it at all. And why he’s so close to Clerval, someone who genuinely seems to care for his opinions and wishes.

I dunno. It’s definitely a theory that should be thought into.

137 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

Shoutout to this line from J&H specifically, in which Mr Guest asked if Jekyll was sending Utterson love letters

164 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#2

Lo and behold, the promised headcanons.

Crack Headcanons for many lit characters (Mod Au):

~Lanyon still sleeps with a teddy bear, but denies it.

~in order to pay off college, Kemp worked at Dairy Queen for two (2) days. He was fired when the blizzard fell out of the cup ;-;

~Dorian watches RuPaul’s Drag Race

~Jekyll actually pours the milk before the cereal 

~Lord Henry uses Reddit

~Clerval cries whenever Gordon Ramsay yells on MasterChef

~Victor almost killed a Girl Scout over thin mints once 

~Jekyll was this close to drinking gasoline 🤏 and by that I mean none he’s drank gasoline before it was very unhealthy

~despite being well spoken, Utterson cannot pronounce ‘synonym’

~griffin owns 8-10 cats and they are all fluffy and white and named after dictators (Apawf Kitler is a sphinx cat tho, Grif felt bad for him) 

~other than cats, Griffin also loves geese, because they go “HONK” and yell and bite and is funny and relatable

~Elizabeth can beat Victor up if she wants to

~in college, Basil sometimes drew the vibe check emojis in Lord Henry’s notebooks 

~Lanyon enjoys the feeling of wet socks

~Dorian is a crystal and astrology bitch

he once claimed he liked astronomy not astrology and all the scientists got excited and then he started talking about being a Scorpio and Jekyll cried, Victor swore, and Griffin kicked the wall

~Basil actually enjoys being called a simp. He doesn’t see the harm in it .

~Griffin would dress as a cat maid, unironically

~Utterson used a joke pickup line (because pun) on Jekyll once, causing Jek to pass out

 ~if asked “boxers or briefs,” Griffin would reply “thong” (it’s actually boxers)

~Basil can and will get angsty if the first chord of ‘All Too Well’ comes on

~Clerval believed in Santa until he was like 14

~Jekyll cannot ride a bike and refuses to learn

~Jekyll uses Hyde to talk to customer service people because he gets scared

~sometimes Hyde just. Carries around a kazoo. And blows it at people.

172 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So I saw a post that kind of made me want to post this.

I feel like there’s a lot of gatekeeping in the J&H fandom. I’ve see a lot of posts like “you’re wrong if you like TGS” “you’re not valid in the fandom if you interpret the duality differently” “we don’t stan if you think Jekyll is cis.”

It feels really toxic, imo. I interpret the story differently than others, and that’s fine. A lot of the story is really open ended and up for interpretation. Specifically with the second point with the duality, I’ve seen hate on the “Jekyll has OCD” interpretation on here in the past, and like? Why?

While that’s personally the interpretation I choose to agree with, that’s not what I’m talking about in this post. There’s really no need to hate on seeing the book differently. As with most other fandoms, you’re not looking at the big picture. There’s a group of people who enjoy the same media as you, and you’re really just going to trash their opinions?

I dunno. I don’t really have a solid point I’m getting at. It just pisses me off. I have a lot of opinions about the book that I’m afraid to share, and I’m sure tons of others do too.

Please be nice y’all. It’s not like Stevenson is coming back from the grave to confirm any interpretation is right.

178 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[littlestsnicket]

[ID] caucasian woman wearing merwyn makeup consisting of dramatic blue eyeshadow and gold foil accents. [/ID]

a few more pictures but mostly rambling below the cut

i was thinking of something slightly self depreciating to say, but actually, given my relatively limited experience with both dramatic makeup and portraiture, this is amazing and i'm very pleased with myself. merwyn is my favorite poor little meow meow and she makes me want to hold her in my hands to shove in people's faces and say 'behold this deranged woman!!' and i am happy to have gotten even remotely close to doing her makeup justice.

i probably should have put on elf ears and falsies, but those are both kind of icky and i wanted to eat dinner. the gold flake was both easier and harder to apply than i thought it would be. was worried it would be either too sticky or not sticky enough, but i should have been worried about how fragile it is and how hard it is to get the bigger flakes she has in most of her looks, but is it very good for a first attempt.

also could have made my eyes look even bigger if i had drawn the crease line higher but i would have had to start over again to do it better. i also learned that the hack makeup artists on youtube do to get really crips lines by cleaning up with foundation only kind of sort of works if you've decluttered all of your foundation and only have tinted moisturizer. it does not have adequately cover up dark blue.

if i did this again i would:

get purpose purchased eyeshadow (blue/purple instead of blue/green, also darker and lighter neutral colors to get better dimension) and foundation, cause you need to be able to erase the blue smudges

teeny tiny makeup brush for cleanup

try a little harder to mimic merrin mack's eyebrow shape

acquire a crown

do this earlier in the day so i had better lighting to take pictures and wasn't too hungry to be bothered to put on ears

[sencrose]

literally nobody asked for this but i feel like yapping about random stuff about sapphire passion (mostly a lot of rambling about idols + a smidge of actual things about the fic lol)

think of it as additional commentary :'D

I. putting in way too much effort into the research

first off, i would argue i'm way more familiar with k-pop idols than i am with jp idols, esp. jp chika idols (16 yrs vs 1 yr lol) but it was really fun diving into the rabbit hole! anyways this is just a disclaimer that i'm still really new to (non-anime) jp idols so uh cut me some slack if i get some stuff wrong lol

anyways, i think k-pop fan meets have a lot less opportunity for intimacy (2 second hi-touches, group meet and greets/photos, short facetime chats.... you get my gist). fansigns are a thing but definitely not in the western sphere so i'll admit i kinda forgot they existed. regardless, it just did not pique my interest.

the whole idea of chekis really lured me in. if you're loaded/have the time/your oshi doesn't have much of a line, you can just. keep buying more cheki tickets lol. you make nice small talk, and you can build a rapport if you're a regular. pretty sure there was some twt thread a bit back about an idol who married her fan? and then some people qrt'd saying that it was a pretty common occurrence (not that i've fact checked it. another possible fic idea?)

another rabbit hole i fell down was trying to hear how loudly audiences chant depending on the gender majority, which was REALLY hard for some reason? there's a lot more fancams for female chika idols than there are for male chika idols, and when you do find performances for male idols, it's usually an official recording which cuts out all the shouts from the crowd -___- all i wanted to do was see if it was in chara of reader to be shouting and cheering intensely ;___; (i mean they would regardless, but. idk the rabbit hole consumed me)

also fem fans seem to move their lightsticks differently! usually more in like... a figure 8 wrist thing??? than the usual up down up down motion i'm used to seeing in wota.... lots of inch resting things..

in case anybody also wants to fall into the hole with me, here's some of the groups i now listen to on a regular basis teehee

lovesick (wagamama happiness + aisarefacedearitai are my faves bc i like chanting/mixing along with them! but if you find that's not your style then stalking love and erabare valentine are my other faves)

yumekuineon - i really enjoy their cover of kodokuasobi! (i think it's originally from touken ranbu? correct me if i'm wrong)

scapegoat - lobelia and nodoukaruma are my faves! also they're a bit more on on the gothic? visual kei? side? (i'm so sorry if i'm using those terms wrong, that side of jfashion isn't my niche)

all of the songs and groups listed above are also on spotify if that's more up your alley :)

II. ok actually on to the fic

im just gonna try and talk about w/e comes to mind in chronological order (sorry if it's not, i just be yappin)

i didn't describe the new stage outfit because i didn't have one completely set in mind at the time of writing. i did recently see these stage outfits from save point and i think this with light blue detailing + maybe an asymmetrical capelet is what i envisioned. very knight/prince-like vibes. that being said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you can imagine whatever you'd like :)

gojo does not know reader's name lmao. during the text messages, i made the conscious decision of not using "y/n" (or alternatives). i literally had it in there but took it out because i thought it'd be scummier if you fell for it hook line and sinker without realizing. (also i just don't like typing out y/n in fics if i can avoid it, personally)

the date scene was really hard to write, i think i scrapped and rewrote it like three times? i was contemplating between a naive reader (which i went with) vs a reader that started picking up on something not being quite right, but i just did not feel like i had the skill to pull it off nor did i know how to move the plot on from there? it's not the usual reader i write... here's a snippet of what could've been:

anyways moving on past the date:

“Not at all,” you gesture towards the case with your hands and a slight bow, a bit too formally for the situation at hand, “go ahead.” You swear his eyes sparkle as he looks over the case before settling on one of the light sticks. “Did you decorate this one yourself?” “I did! It was before you released official light sticks.”

In terms of decorating light sticks, that sparkly white inside? it's paper. you can remove it. my personal penlight just pops off when you twist it, there's not much resistance. you can decorate it with fake flowers, ribbons, sticker decals, whatever you want. some groups have official lightsticks, though they're usually the type of act to sell out stadiums. (forgot i was writing for a chika idol for a split second)

i think everything that comes after that came really naturally. penlights are phallic and approximately dildo sized. like what else was i supposed to do man.

iii. rejected titles lol

toru taiga! (not rejected, i just. thought about it after i posted it. rip. reference to kahen 3ren mix)

iettoru!/yes 'toru! (thought nobody would get it... another mix ref)

penlight passion (too on the nose? but then again i ended up going with sapphire passion...)

chekis and romance (like the wota move romance? but also the story isn't that romantic..)

all (six) eyes on me (thought i was being unoriginal/too on the nose)

fade to blue (placeholder title for a while bc i could not think of anything lmfao)

anyways that's all! if there's something i didn't cover that you're interested in, my ask box is open :'D