#BECAUSE 95% OF THE TIME I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE

[the-starlight-project]

First of all I LOVE THIS, AAAAHHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤

Second of all I've been seeing people saying "oh god sonic had to watch people die but it actuality it was acting" but I see no one asking "how the fuck did he go super?" And "what about being a werehog?" And all the other form transformation that he has done over the years and also " HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN HIS FUCKING OWN DEATH TO HIM"

Like with the death one, did they put him I a forced coma? Did they tranquilise him? So many thoughts are going on it my head

On a other thought, what is he going to do now he knows that everything is 'fake'? Like he was no clue if sonic's world was real or not cause even tho we know there is no interdimensional interference going on we can't rule out that what happen to sonic was real, whether as an act or it actually happen, cause we know that in the games sonic fort a god(s) and won, and if those god(s) where real what is going on? Are all the actors playing roles that have no clue they are playing? Is sonic the only one who is in the right to believe everything is fake? Is chaos energy real or was it special effects? Is sonic like PROJECT SHADOW? Is sonic a GOD????????? (I'm twicking, or am I 🤔)

We have no clue what is real or not cause we are only the spectators. We are like sonic, we are seeing the things sonic is seeing and making theorys that sonic himself might have not even be thinking about cause our main man is going through like 30 intenal mental breakdowns in like 30 minutes, having an existential crisis and all that.

What is really going on cause it seems like 'shadow' also did not know that sonic had no idea about how they were actors in the beginning of the comic and now he is coming to terms that maybe everything he knew was a lie as well, cause we see reaction to sonic doing a spindash at the wall is when he really started to think the sonic is more then the main character of the story but an actual person who is in the dark and when 'shadow' was bring up all these things from the past we start seeing him get nervous cause he probably is thinking "oh fuck what is happening? I thought he was a actor like I am" and in reality is not

I have rambled a lot cause I love this and with The Truman Show being something I am actively studying for school my mind is going haywire

"Thank you for listening to my Ted talk"/ref

Okay, first of all, massive pretense - there are so many questions in this ask that I cannot (and will not) answer all of them.

HOWEVER.

A lot of these questions are very important, very well thought-out and certainly should not be forgotten - and rest assured, several things you ask about do indeed have answers to them (I'd go so far as to say that about 95% have answers to them, actually). I had a hell of a time reading through this with SB on a discord call and it was SUCH a doozy /pos

The problem with asks like this is that I literally can't say anything without accidentally spoiling the whole comic BUT! I will endeavor to say as much as I can!

Chaos Energy is very much a real force, but it's not universal. In fact, it's pretty much localized. Very localized.

Shamdow may have been acting with Sonic for a long time, but when you're running a long-standing show, you have sets, budgets and effects that reach well into the millions. He had no real reason to question Sonic because surely, it was all just effects. (It was not, in fact, all effects)

Sonic shares some similarities with the concept of Project Shadow, but not all - most notably, he's not an alien or a robot or whatever else Shadow has gone through when trying to figure out what he is in the games. He's not the product of science, he's very much natural.

[invinciblerodent]

This is gonna be a very long and super tedious story about my job, so I apologize in advance, but I just. I need to vent.

Long list of petty retail woes under the cut.

I'm really beginning to feel like I messed up. Not by making a mistake, or doing anything reprehensible, but by being too diligent in the first few months, and thus allowing my coworkers to believe they can get away with piling all the work on me.

So in my bookstore, I'm the newest hire, and even I've been here for about five months now (which is how long it took them to get this bold I guess). All but one other girl has been here for years, and most people are already very close because of it, although they are also understandably jaded. (Last year the old company went bankrupt around them, there was a weirdly executed merger when the new owners took over stock and crew, and just a month ago there was ANOTHER owner change, it was a whole thing. I wouldn't feel much like working my ass off in those conditions either, so really, I get it. But that's not the point.)

Now y’all probably know I'm a pretty quiet person in general (I’m not finding it very easy to make friends at all, and at work I still feel very much like an outsider), and it's no secret that I have better work ethic than the position would warrant because, well, not only is that just the type of person I am, I'm also just happy to finally have a job at all (no money < not a lot of money). But I can't help but notice that, more and more often, I've been finding myself saddled with 3-4 distinct tasks at the same time, while the 2-3 people on the same shift are just... standing around and talking.

Just yesterday, I was checking stock for next month's sales (which is busywork consisting of manually looking up literally about 300 titles and noting how many copies we have listed in the inventory- I may be the fastest typist but come on now), doing the price changes (which is checking inventory on ANOTHER list of ~50 sent down from the company, hunting them down in the store -which is sometimes one copy hidden in a messy pile and sometimes a stack of 25 that has to be checked individually- and putting a new, correct price tag on each)........ WHILE helping customers, AND being on register duty. And my register STILL ended up having all the paperwork (online order pickups, gift card sales, returns, vouchers, all of it) and more than double the traffic of my coworker's who 1.) WAS NOT running around the store constantly, 2.) HAD NOT been on her feet two days at that point, and 3.) was visibly NOT BUSY most of the day, as while working I could hear her and the supervisor gossiping pretty much all day.

Not to mention that I WAS STILL SCOLDED BY SAID SUPERVISOR because -get this pettiness- my register had too much of one specific type of change (because "it takes too long to count [nothing says that she would have to count it, that's her idea] and she's gonna miss her bus [8 times out of 10 she misses it anyway because she can't shut up and drags out closing 5-10 minutes by talking]"). Even though she's the one who keeps telling us to ask people for change, which I fucking do like a good noodle, and damn it Jackie, I can't control the type of change people give me. It's the end of the month, people kept coming with huge bills and maybe five cents anyway, we're lucky I have anything besides a fistful of hundreds!

And I've been noticing other hypocrisies too. Like I'm often told to stay at the register because "if there is only one person there they can't leave and help people find things" (understandable, but I already only leave to do exactly that tho????), but if I'm there, I almost always find myself left there alone, sometimes for hours??? And if I dare ask for help or need to go to the bathroom, I always get groans, eyerolls, and often a "just hurry!" in return.

I'm also sometimes told that my breaks "feel long" (which is weird because uuuuuhhhhhhhh not only am I usually the last to eat at like 2 pm, sometimes I'm too busy and have no time to have my second, and I time myself exactly to the company-allotted time with a fucking stopwatch), but other people full on just say "I need to pick up [X] at [Y]" and fuck off to go to the store across from us for 10-20 minutes, just whenever they damn well please.

Not to mention that I'm often told my boyfriend arriving five minutes before closing to pick me up after I'm done is distracting (even though every single time, I just give him a quick peck, say "hi, I'm still on the clock" and continue doing my job)- not the fact that my coworkers tend to spend 20+ minutes literally just chatting with people they happen to know mid-shift, or taking outside phonecalls on the store phone. Some even have fucking PACKAGES delivered to the store, my manager's kids and husband come in almost every fucking day like an hour before her shift would be up, and sometimes she even does her not-really-door-to-door-but-close-enough sales shtick on company time.

And what takes the cake is when, still yesterday after all that, I was told at the end of the day that I have the choice of a.) taking out ALL the garbage -which is several large boxes worth of packing material and other shit accumulated in the break room-, or b.) vacuuming the whole store because "I missed my turn". Even though people know FULL WELL that I missed that turn because injured my back pretty darn badly (I tore a muscle while stocking, it inflamed to shit, and I could barely move for almost two weeks and had to go on sick leave- really I'm only back because I begged my doctor to let me), and lifting heavy things (like all that garbage) and bending down (which one has to do to vacuum) still causes me a lot of pain and was straight-up forbidden by my doc for at least the rest of the month, lest I cause myself permanent harm. (Not to mention that I was already the one doing the weekly cleaning of the entire glass storefront, by myself, in the morning anyway, while my coworker just counted down the registers and went for a smoke, so... it being "my turn" to clean is kinda subjective, ain't it.)

I'm just.... getting so fed up, and so tired. I'm looking at three days off at the end of April (it just worked out that way with May 1st which is awesome), and tbqh, I don't even have the energy to make plans beyond snuggling up to my boyfriend and sleeping for two days straight.

TL;DR: I'm carrying this whole goddamn store for the same pay as the rest of these slackers, and yet there still seem to be things for which to find fault in me. I'm tired, annoyed, and almost always in pain these days, but I can't allow myself to stop because nobody else gives a shit, they're all hella chummy with each other, and if I do, the place fucking falls apart in a pile of filth.

FML.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

In Love and Death. Part 1

Harry Potter AU (request fic)

Summary: (set during current time) Regulus Black has made a lot of mistakes. Now he has a chance to fix the mistakes or possibly make them worse.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- later chapters

Song at the beginning: Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood

_____

She knows what I think about and what I think about...one love, two mouths, one love, one house. No shirt, no blouse. Just us, you find out...

“I’m going to hell.”

It was the thought going through Regulus’ head as he looked down at your sleeping form.

“I’m going to hell and Evan is going to kick my ass from one side of the place to another but she’s worth it...always will be worth it.”

Regulus turned on his back and slammed his head down on the pillow. His life was one series of failures after another. After drowning and staying dead for a while, Regulus woke up at the bottom of the cave’s lake surrounded by actually dead inferi. As he kicked to the surface the best thing that Regulus could put together was the potion didn’t let him be fully drowned or Voldemort was really losing his touch.

Things were, even more, confusing the first time that Regulus looked at himself. He hadn’t changed. The boy looking back in the mirror was the same boy that Regulus was when he had gone to that cave in the first place.

Dead things don’t age.

His mind had supplied. Confusing was the best way to describe everything. Waking up in a different generation, finding out Sirius had gone to prison and was now on the run, and realizing the secret that he “died for” was out...Regulus had to sit quietly and take everything in. It took Sirius and Remus talking to him numerous times to get Regulus to actually speak again.

That is where you came in and shook his fucked up world some more. You were an auror and a young one at that. Before you walked into Grimmauld Place and made Regulus feel like he had been slapped on the back of the head with a book, he never had any interest in falling in love. It was too risky and he didn’t have the time nor the drive for it. Now some girl with sandy hair and bright blue eyes was making him reconsider everything that he felt about relations and Regulus had no clue who you were.

It wasn’t until Sirius introduced the two of you after seeing his brother’s expression did Regulus realize how fucked he was…Evan Rosier’s daughter...you were his fucking best friend’s daughter that had clearly grown up in the time that Regulus was dead.

Regulus had to quickly look away in order to chastise himself for even looking at you that way. It didn’t matter that you were an adult (and a very attractive adult at that). Regulus was there when you were born. Hell, he had been there when Evan turned up at Grimmauld Place the summer before 7th year freaking out because his girlfriend was pregnant. It had taken Regulus all that he had to not tell Evan that he was a fucking fool when the other boy made the comment that he was told that Emma wouldn’t get pregnant if she jumped up and down after sex. Regulus had sat there staring at Evan the whole time with a frown.

“Jumping up and down? What? Where do you get your facts? My mother, as prudish as she is, at least gave me a pamphlet on what happens. I told you not to listen to the Carrow twins!”

Regulus had to shake the thoughts from his mind as he took in your confused expression. The moment that you spoke for the first time, Regulus again felt like he had been whacked with a book.

“Sirius, I thought that you said your brother was dead?”

Sirius nodded then shrugged.

“Yes but apparently he’s not. It's kind of confusing.”

“So Supernatural dead?”

“Excuse me, but what is Supernatural and just what does this have to do with me?”

Regulus had finally started to become annoyed with wondering what the two of you were talking about. It was Sirius that had to give him the update on “pop culture.”

The next few weeks led to Regulus falling further and further in love with you. Whether it was wrong or not, he couldn’t help it.

“She won’t want me. I’m a former dark wizard. She’s an auror. What kind of fucked up joke would that be?”

Others in the Order, particularly Alastor Moody, took great pride in watching every move that Regulus made around you. Moody was not about to let one of the girls that he cared about could be harmed by someone that was on his “list” once upon a time. It didn’t matter to Moody that “to the world,” Regulus and yourself would physically make a cute couple. To someone looking in, they would assume Regulus was just some 18-year-old kid and would have a decent shot with you.

“It's best you stay away from Y/n. You are old enough to be her father. I don’t care how young you look or if you have been taking a years-long siesta...you’re a death eater and that’s what you’ll always be in my eyes. Y/n has dealt with a lot in her life. Her family has abandoned her. She doesn’t need some guy who has affiliations with those people.”

Regulus still scowled at Moody’s comment. It didn’t matter to the auror that Regulus actually provided proof that he “wasn’t bad.” To Moody, that dark mark on Regulus’ arm would always be damning evidence that he couldn’t be trusted.

To Moody’s displeasure, you agreed to go with Regulus on a several months mission to Greece. Regulus had to fight back a fit of laughter as Moody threw a fit like an overgrown child about it. It wasn’t until you came into the conversation did the elder auror cool his heels down.

All of the previous events led up to Regulus’ current situation. The two of you had been in Greece for a few days spying on what looked like was the Carrows. It was day three when you kissed him for the first time. The memory would be forever ingrained into his memory….

Regulus stood looking over the edge of the hotel balcony. After another day of watching his former friends wander around like blind idiots, Regulus was exhausted. He wasn’t a “sit back and watch” type. He would much rather just go and hex the hell out of the Carrow twins then ask for forgiveness later. The sensible side of his head, however, told him to cool his heels and calm the fuck down. If he wanted any hope of clearing his name and showing that he wasn’t a monster; going against what the Order wanted was no way to do it.

“Regulus?”

He turned at the sound of your voice calling his name. You stepped out onto the balcony with him.

“Have they done anything new?”

Regulus shook his head.

“I think Amycus will need a new liver soon. I have never seen someone drink so much.”

You laughed at the comment as you began to watch Amycus practically snog the bottle of fire whiskey. Regulus, meanwhile, kept his eyes on you. It was wrong to be looking at you like this. He bloody held you as a newborn; now he was drooling over you.

You reminded Regulus of Evan. There was the same serious expression that Evan wore 95% of the time along with his physical looks. Regulus was thankful, however, that you were nothing like the Rosier family. You were spunky and had an amusing sense of humor.

After a few moments, you turned back to the man at your side.

“Can I ask you something?”

Regulus nodded. He was trying to keep himself as closed off as possible to you. Maybe if he acted as if he wasn’t interested then you would believe him.

“Yes?”

“Don’t get mad.”

You said before standing on your tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips.

After that, he was hooked. You didn’t kiss him again for another two days. In fact, it was Regulus that made the next move. He had spent enough time in his head going batty until he had to touch you again. To his pleasure, you didn’t fight back.

“I’m too old for you.”

Regulus mumbled between kisses. Your fingers were locked into his hair making sure that he wasn’t about to get a clean getaway.

“No one would know. We look that same age.”

“This is really fucked up. You know what I am…”

Your hand was on his lips silencing any further comment.

“What you were. Not now. I don’t care what our friends say. My family...I’m a blood traitor to them so they aren’t shocked by anything that I do anymore.”

Your moving pulled Regulus from his thoughts. He quickly closed his eyes hoping that you would think that he was still sleeping and not worrying about what was going on in his head.

“I know you're awake.”

You said with a grin. Regulus’ sighed as you wiggled your way on top of him. His grey eyes rolled up to your bright blue ones. You were used to the serious expression on his face. It was rare when you got a smile from him.

“Beautiful boy.”

You said with a smile. Regulus reached up and grabbed your hand. He gave you a raised eyebrow before bringing your hand to his lips.

“You spoil me.”

This was how the two of you had spent most mornings. The Carrows didn’t come out until typically late in the evening so that left Regulus and yourself with free time during the day.

“As I should.”

You replied, stroking your hands through his messy hair. Although neither of you had said “I love you” yet, you knew that you were in love with Regulus. This was the first time that you had felt that emotion in your life. You credited this to your parents. More like your mother, Emma. She never told you one time that she loved you or made you feel loved. You assumed that she just went crazy after your father died.

Regulus was in the same boat. He didn’t talk about his parents much. In fact, he didn’t want to talk about his childhood ever. What you knew about his childhood, you had learned from Sirius. At first, you didn’t think that Regulus would want anything to do with you. That quickly changed, however, when he realized how nice it was to have someone want him. He was as touch starved as you were! It was rather amusing how you had gone from being a girl who “didn’t need a man” to a girl who bent over backward to please the man that you were falling in love with.

You already knew that your friends wouldn’t be thrilled with the relationship. Tonks had already sent a text asking if something was going on with Regulus. You simply brushed off the question with some witty humor (but you knew Tonks wouldn’t be so easily thrown off).

“Y/n, please. The two of you have nothing in common. He’s dangerous and I think that you know it. An auror dating a former death eater isn’t a good look no matter what Regulus can do to prove his innocence. I just care about you. If Regulus can come back from the dead what’s not saying your father won’t?”

It didn’t matter how many times you told Tonks that Regulus’ waking up was most likely due to Voldemort. Your father was killed by Moody. If he came back from the dead then there was definitely some weird shit going on.

“We have to go back tomorrow.”

Regulus’ calm tone pulled you from your thoughts. He quickly pulled you back down into the bed beside him. You settled yourself against his chest as Regulus reached up to gently stroke your hair.

“I know. I’ve been dreading it.”

Regulus was quiet for a few moments.

“So do we break up and act as if nothing happened between us or are we going to go in and be ready to fight?”

Your head snapped up.

“I don’t want to break up. I want to be with you.”

The question broke your heart. You wished that things could be as easy as they appeared. To others in this hotel, Regulus and yourself looked like innocent teenagers out on a holiday. They didn’t know the “truth” but your friends would know.

Regulus took his place on top of you. His left hand had gone back to your face. Your eyes fluttered to the dark mark on his arm. Maybe you were being childish but you didn’t care about that brand on your lover’s body. He was a different man now.

“I want to be with you too. I don’t care what our so-called friends have to say. It's not going to be easy and I think you are a smart enough girl to know that.”

Regulus was relieved when you pulled him down for a kiss.

“I’ve faced a lot of bad things in my past. I’m not scared of making my friends mad. They’ll either accept it or we can go out on our own.”

Regulus sat up. Going off on your own would be a lot easier said than done. There would be no way in hell that Alastor Moody was about to let one of his aurors go off with a death eater. Alastor Moody would track Regulus down like a dog and take you away.

You were on your knees behind him in an instant. Pushing a chunk of his curls away from his face, you pressed kisses to his jawline.

“You know that is a lot easier said than done. If we go off on our own...find our own little place...it's not going to look good on your job being married to a death eater. We’ve had this conversation before, Y/n.”

Regulus stated, calmly. He could tell that you were beginning to get frustrated the moment that you pulled away from him.

“Yes, we have. No one has to know what you were. You keep your arm covered up. Besides, there are a lot of former death eaters running around just fine. Take a look at Lucius Malfoy, for example.”

Regulus rolled his eyes again.

“Yes, love, I know. Lucius Malfoy is the scary mother fucker that gets away with everything. I don’t think that I am going to be that lucky.”

You got out of bed and slipped the lace nightie that you were wearing off.

“We shouldn’t worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. Come join me in the shower.”

_______

@fairywriter-oracle

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[piltover-sharpshooter]

Why I don't like using the word 'Latinx' to refer to myself.

Before I start I'd like to make clear that if you use the word for yourself, more power to you. I just want to explain why as someone who was born and raised in Latin America, the word makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I heavily dislike it.

Ok? Let's go.

The Grammatical Problem

First, context, spanish has gender specific nouns. If it's male it tends to end in "-O" ,if it's female it tends to end in "-A" and gender neutral is also "-O" (fun fact, this is why Spanish speaking people sometimes called people that use "They" ,"He" because the translating brain crosses wires)

Second, 95% of the time a vowel is followed by a consonant, the times when 2 consonants are used together in Spanish is EXTREMELY rare and there are specifics rules for it. With this in mind, pay attention to the following example.

Male: "El es un doctor"

Female: "Ella es una doctora"

Supposed Gender neutral: "Xl es unx doctorx"

IT'S UNPRONOUNCEABLE. It completely breaks the rules established by the language! Trying to use it in regular conversation would be borderline impossible. (And while I don't know enough Portuguese to know for certain, I've heard enough to know it breaks that one too)

Origins

So, if it's so weird and doesn't fit, where did it come from? To that the answer is a solid: 'No fucking clue'. Sources vary on that, from latin americans living in the US to a Puerto Rican university study. However while all the origins say that it was created by people of latin american origin, none of them clarified if those people spoke spanish.

Most people that use Latinx live in the US and people who live in Latin America use Latino.

The horrible subtext.

Latinx is a word used primarily by people who don't speak Spanish or Portuguese. It is a word that implies that it's the "correct" option from the more "crude and inappropriate Latino" option.

Take a moment to appreciate how fucked up it is that people who don't speak your language tell you how to speak it.

Take a moment to appreciate how wrong it feels when you are corrected on how to refer to yourself because 'they know better'

Take a moment to appreciate how troubled the history is between the US and Latin America, decades of them fucking with us and controlling us through the cold war, and that perhaps we don't want people from the US to tell us how to do things.

Take a moment to understand all of that and you might understand why I cringe every time I hear it.

So what then?

Then fuck Gender-neutral people?

HELL NO.

As established at the top, if you feel like Latinx is the correct way, then more power to you! Use it! Fuck grammatical rules, fuck Latin America, hell FUCK ME what do I know I've never gone through what you did and I will not tell you how to call yourself. EVER.

If I can offer some alternatives, "Latine" or "Latinu" both are good in the sense that they don't break the grammar and "Latin" is also a solid established option. They all need work but that's the main thing:

And I do believe that the spanish language should have a proper gender neutral term, but that has to be made by spanish speaking people for spanish speaking languages.

Conclusion

Call yourself what you want and never force it on others.

Thanks for coming to my fucking TED talk.

[the-scooby-gang]

Finally watched the Scoob!movie

Here we are in the future! As you guys know I was REALLY EXCITED to see the new movie. Well, here we are, so I will share my thoughts.

This one is a long one, so buck up!

Let’s break the movie down and see its high and low points, shall we? 

One thing that I noticed right out of bat is that the movie is following the typical Hanna-Barbera crossover logic: “Hey audience, you already know these characters and their dynamics, so we will not really focus on them (unless is a plot point on the narrative) and focus more on the adventure”

Which worked for me. But I also know that I’m a 20 years old woman that was a child when Wacky Races, Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines, Scooby-Doo and Captain Caveman was on every day at morning before I went to school.

What I mean is, I already know these characters, so watching the movie was just like watching the crossover episodes. It was fun, not because of the plot, but because the characters that I grew loving were sharing a screen.

But now I think of a new audience that may have NO IDEA who these other characters are and are kinda mislead by the title of the movie because, and lets be honest here, the movie should have being called something like:

Scooby gang and the Falcon Team!

or more precisely

Scooby, Shaggy and the Falcon Team!

That’s the first low point: The opening minutes leads you to believe that, even if Shaggy and Scooby have most of the screen time, after all the plot of the movie is clearly about their bond as best friends, you expect that the whole Scooby Gang are going to have equal screen time. But that is not the case.

They have nice moments of course! One of the first high points is that the gang is really wholesome when they are together! They are good friends that care about each other! What breaks them apart is not some forced antagonism between them, but an outside force (MOTHERFUCKING SIMON COWELL) and, by the way things went, if the plot had not kicked in on the bowling alley, the gang would unite again, hug, call Simon Cowell an idiot, reassure Shaggy and Scooby that they are valid and find a new person to sponsor the expansion of Mystery INC. 

In fact, now that I think about it, the plot could have gone WAAAAAAY different, but that is a talk for another post.

High point one and a half: The movie was funny and cute. Self aware jokes, Muttley and Dick antics, Dick’s disguises, the F-Bomb, Shaggy is a Potterhead, Scooby was animated with “This dog deserves hugs” mentality and I approve.

High point number two: Dick Dastardly. His entire personality, his disguises , his motivation. God his motivation. I too would open the gates of hell to get my dog back (and also some treasure, this is Dastardly we are talking about)

In fact his interactions with Muttley are high point number three. THEY ARE SUCK ASSHOLES BUT THEY CLEARLY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH I LOVE THAT!

But that also opens the gates for Low point number two: Where Dick arc is finished in a satisfactory way (being an asshole that cares for one (1) asshole dog) , Brian’s a.k.a Blue Falcon doesn’t.

You see, in the movie Shaggy clearly sees that Brian acts the way he does because he is NOT Blue Falcon. He is his son. He has the weight of a legacy on his shoulders and he is not coping well with that. This is highlighted by how Dynomutt sees him and his childish ways. (in fact, Dynomutt just being done with Brian shit 95% of the movie is high point number four) And you think “They are going to make a scene were he and Dynomutt are more open with each other. Where Brian says how scared he is and how the pressure of the legacy is maybe too much for him and that he is no hero, and them Dynomutt is going to reassure him that, No. You are a hero. I’m sorry for expecting you to be like your father, instead of doing to you what did for him: guiding you” and we got that! .....Really rushed in the middle of the final action scene with no emotional punch at all as a side effect from the “we expect you to know who these people are” crossover logic. Because I never watched Dynomutt and the Blue Falcon

I don’t how their dynamic was supposed to go. Even more by being the original Dynomutt with a new Falcon. I have no bases of how things used to be to feel anything. Especially because I don't know how the OG blue falcon acted in comparison to his son to see were he was falling short. I don't know how Dynomutt acted with the OG Falcon to see were he was setting the bar for Brian. Without that information, even if Dynomutt being done is entertaining  and fun, it leaves the emotional impacts hollow.

Low point number three is also to blame here: the movie fells INCREDIBLY RUSHED. And I think I know the reason. Hanna-Barbera is no stranger to crossovers, but they never did more them one property + another before, three properties at most. It was always Scooby Doo and The Wacky Race or Scooby Doo and Captain Caveman or Scooby Doo and The Blue Falcon but never Scooby Doo and All of them together. 

Even in the episode of Mystery incorporated “Mystery Solvers Club State Finals” were ALL THE HANNA-BARBERA MYSTERY SOLVER TEAMS WERE TOGETHER UNDER ONE ROOF , they made the mystery about the disappearing of all the mystery solvers except the mascots, which left the cast of characters of the episode more manageable them having all the gangs fighting for screen time, and even them some of the mascots have more dialog and character beats them others.

With so many characters, they had to pic which ones got a full arc or important plot beats, which left all the other character lacking as a side effect.

That brings us to low point number four: THE MYSTERY IS WEAK. It’s weak even for Scooby Doo levels and that is saying something. I saw episodes of Be Cool (that is a really good incarnation character design aside, you should check it out) that had a more well rounded mystery them this. The focus of the movie was divided in so many places that the mystery had no room to breath (Dick, Shaggy and Scooby, Shaggy and Scooby and the Falcon team, Dee Dee and Dynomutt backs aching by having to carry the plot forward, Shaggy and Brian have a heart to heart moments, Captain Caveman fight scene, and finally the mystery gang and the, you know, mystery)

The mystery is about “why the fuck Dick wants Scoob so bad” and the answer is “Because Scooby is descended from Peritas, Alexanders the Great Dog, and he needs him to open the gate to the underworld that Alex and Perry created to protect their treasure, plus save Mutley that is stuck there”

That could have being such a strong mystery!!! They would think that he only has greed in mind by opening the gates, not giving a flying fuck about the giant Cerberus that is going to eat Athens while he fills his pockets, only to discover that, yes there was greed in his actions but there was also a man looking for his best friend stuck on the other side, with would have made such a strong emotional parallel to Shaggy and Scooby final challenge. Missed opportunity. 

Back to the high points to balance thing out, the high point number five: Fred is a himbo that loves his friends and his van. The moment were they hear that Shaggy and Scooby are in danger and he immediately turns the van around nearly launching Velma and Daphne though the window was really good, plus the “Leave Shaggy Alone” and the fact that when the Fake!Fred appears (Dastardly in one of his ultra-realistic disguises) in the island and Shaggy calls his name and they hug in the most wholesome way, the fact that Shaggy doest think that the wholesomeness is out of character implies that the Real Freddie is just as sweet.

High point number six: Daphne gains first an Allie and then an entire robot army for her friends though the power of compassion. This is a nice take on Daphne. They say that Fred is the Brawn, Velma is the Brain and Daphne is the People person, which I take is the fact that she can make fast friends and easy contacts to solve the mysteries + think about why someone would do something, like, Velma sees the logic behind the mystery while Daphne sees the emotion that lead to the mystery in the first place.

Which, unfortunately leads to low point number five: even if I can make all that character analyses from one phrase and this specific moment and its outcome, thanks to Low point number three and four a.e. Lack of character focus and lack of mystery I can't truly see if I’m right or not about Velma's logic and Daphne’s emotional knowledge... BECAUSE I CAN BARELY REMEMBER VELMA AT ALL. Velma is the one that suffered the most by the lack of mystery because there is where she thrives. The moments were Velma piece the clues together is so overshadowed by everything that is going down that you barely notices it. Same thing for Dee Dee. She and Dynomutt are, thanks to the way the plot was build, the only ones that are actually making moves to compel the plot forward, but outside of being the one flying the ship and trying to find were the skulls macguffings are, I can barely remember her besides  a moment were she and Dyno are baffled about Brian thinking that Anonymous was an actual name.

Dee Dee is from Captain Caveman, she was the brains of the group, which we kinda see, but she is apparently in a point in time where she and Cavey don't even know each other. I think if they had removed the Caveman fight scene and instead added dialog of her talking about how she and her friends discovered a caveman on ice and they are planing on defrosting him, you know, THE PLOT OF THE ORIGINAL CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS would have being better.  Or maybe just say that she is just here because she promised the OG Blue Falcon that she would help train his son to replace him and when her work is done she is going back to her team. You know, actually stabilising a more connected world without inflating your cast and making things difficult for yourself and the script writers.

Low point number five and a half : Captain Caveman is completely superfluous. He was a funny beat, but outside of that, the time that they expended getting to his island, finding him, fighting him and losing the skull macguffing anyway  could have being expended on character moments either between the falcon team, or better yet, the Mystery gang. Or put more time on the mystery itself.

Now to high point number seven and the most important of them all, after all it is the plot were the entire movie is set upon: When Shaggy is speaking with Brian about how the pressure of his father shadow over him is beyond overwhelming, Shaggy is so insightful in that scene that it heavily implies that he feels in part in a similar way in the gang and that is one of the reasons he felt offended when Simon Cowell, and later on Dick Dastardly, say that he is virtually insignificant  to the group and them gets jealous of Scoob when he starts to spend more time with the Falcon Team. 

Is one thing to be the scary cat with your best friend, is another thing entirely to be the scary cat alone. AND I LOVE THAT

Shaggy and Scooby bond has being highlighted from the opening scene (high point number eight) and Shaggy’s felling of loneliness. That before Scooby came into his life, he had no one. And even after the gang was united, Scooby remains his first and best friend. The slight idea of losing his friend to something that he can never compare (What is a Shaggy in face of a Blue Falcon Team membership) makes him lash out. We joke about Scooby being Shaggy service dog, but for all effects, Scooby is his emotional support, his light on the end of the tunnel that was his loneliness. The gang are his friends, but they are really different from him. Meanwhile he and Scoob are almost always in the same wave lane. And them suddenly Scoob appears to be changing. Moving away. 

The entire movie is Shaggy dealing with the idea of losing Scooby. Of losing his first friend and scared cat companion. What he ultimately learns is that the power of his friendship with Scoob is way too strong to let simple thing as “going away” or “changing” diminished what they created through the years. That’s why he says he has changed in the final. That he has grow. Because he has come to realise that even if Scoob changes and becomes more brave or something, he has nothing to fear. Because being friends is to know that, even miles apart, dimensions apart, your friendship lives on.

By acknowledging that Scoob can change, or even leave but never truly abandon him, Shaggy himself grows.

That’s why he chooses to be the one stuck on the other side.

Because he knows that he is not alone, not really.

So the final count is:  HIGH points = 7,5 LOW points = 5,5

I liked the film. I was giggling like an idiot the entire time. My inner child was happy, even if my adult brain was not as pleased in many moments after further thought. However both my child heart and my adult brain agree that the movie is far from perfect. Many interesting ideas but poor execution of many of them.  With is fine. We all know that the Scooby movies have already peaked *cough* Legend of the Phantosaur *cough*

This was a long ass review of the Scoob! Movie.

[catrasredemption-moved]

That whole "an abusive mother shouldn't be seen as a mother figure" sitting not well with me.

So can you elaborate on that and not make it super invalidating to people abused by foster/adoptive/psuedo paternql figures?

This feels like a trap, but sure. Buckle up, we’re going back to my childhood.

(this is long, contains emotional/mental abuse, alcohol and drug references, and is just plain unpleasant)

I was emotionally/mentally abused by my mother and stepfather for pretty much my entire life. I was an oops baby, and my bio dad at least had the self awareness to check out my life early because he knew he’d never be a good father (yes, I give him some twisted credit for that, because at least he was honest). My mom was kind of... I don’t want to say forced to keep me, but her family was very insistent. I don’t think she would have gotten an abortion anyway (put aside that this was 1991), but things might have been different if she’d just been allowed to go the same route as my father. Her parents pretty much raised me for six years, partially because she had a full-time job, and partially because she just had no clue what she was doing. And I think having her parents as a crutch for so long definitely limited her.

And then she met Paul. Twenty years older than her, didn’t even have a toaster to his name, alcoholic, drug addict. I was six, so obviously this all went over my head, but my mother’s parents did not like him (something I didn’t find out until years after they both died). My mom was 27 at the time, and I don’t know if she just thought no one else would want her because she was a single mother, if she was just desperate, or maybe she really was attracted to him, but she started dating him. I don’t remember everything that led up to the Breaking Point, because this was 23 years ago, but I remember the specific night - she was on the phone with Paul, and I kept saying I was hungry. I forget what she made, but it was something I’d eaten before and suddenly decided I didn’t like (as children do sometimes), so I was upset.

At this point my grandmother or grandfather would usually step in and just make me something else. Instead my grandfather went upstairs and told her to get off the phone and deal with it. Was I being a little bratty? Yeah, probably. Should my grandparents have just dealt with it? No, that was my mother’s job. Even if it just meant coming downstairs and making me eat the Thing. But she didn’t want to get off the phone (this was 1997, people still talked on phones. Weird, right?)

One huge fight later, my mother put me in her car and drove me 20 minutes to another city to stay with Paul and his roommate. I didn’t see my grandparents for three days. That’s when they learned they had to play nice with Paul or my mother would actually take me away.

We moved in with Paul, after they’d been dating for three whole months. My mother upended both of our lives, including making me transfer to another school after first grade, for a guy she’d been dating for three months. A guy she knew had substance abuse problems. A guy who, when home alone during the day, would sit out in the living room and watch porn (and one time watched it in my room, which? I was eight, I very vaguely remember walking into the apartment, my mother immediately grabbing me and pushing me back into the hall while saying “get that shit off her TV.”)

Some very fucked up things happened over the next twelve years, some I still haven’t told anyone about (including my wife), and some that were just wrong in retrospect. Common occurrences included (some of this might be considered lowkey sexual abuse? I’ve never thought about it that way, but my perspective is skewered af):

Telling me to turn sideways so he could see how I was “developing” (this started at 10)

Inappropriate comments about my weight and how I eat too much (starting around 8 or 9)

Wildly gross and sexual comments about my body (starting around 13)

Coming into my room while drunk and asking for a hug, then holding me for too long and lowkey groping (starting around 13 or 14)

Calling me a whiny bitch (starting around 8)

Yelling at me for eating food, especially if I finished something, because I didn’t pay for the food so why should I get to eat it all (starting around 15)

Yelling at me for daring to go out into the living room and talk to my mother while they were watching TV (pretty much the entire time I lived with them)

Telling me my mother used to have “a great body” before she got sick and lost a ton of weight (I don’t remember when exactly that started, but the sickness in question happened when I was 7)

Trying to tell me about how he and mother were getting hot and heavy while I was at school (high school; one of the only times my mother actually told him to shut the fuck up)

Enjoyed calling me stupid and calling me an idiot and other things that were entirely damaging to my self esteem

Straight up saying, after seven years of my mother insisting we were family, that I wasn’t his daughter and I never would be (13)

Inappropriate comments while drunk, to the point where I knew when he’d be drunk (because it was always pay day), and me arranging to be out of the house for a couple of days just so I wouldn’t have to be there (high school; I went to my aunt’s, and eventually she started figuring out a pattern and asking me what was going on. I was 16 when she finally realized I hate Paul as much as she does)

...to name a few things. And my mother? Knew about all of this. And sure, she tried to stick up for me once or twice, like about the food thing, but even that came with the caveat of “maybe you should stop eating so much.” (before anyone asks, yes, I’m slightly overweight, and this was some grade A body shaming). But for the most part, she enabled him. And when he told me to stop being sensitive and it was “just a joke”? She sided with him and told me to stop “whining” (whining being “trying to defend myself”). She took his side about 95% of the time, while still insisting that he was my father, because he was there and he was helping “raise” me. They’ve been together for 23 years, and she’s basically chosen him over me at this point (because I chose to get the fuck out of the house and take a job in a state 300 miles away just to escape that hell). We actually got into a huge fight about him back in June because I didn’t call to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He has never met my wife (whom he referred to as my “friend”, and my mother saw nothing wrong with that, then got mad when I tried to say “what if I called him your roommate”), he was not invited to our wedding, and we had a fight last Christmas when I went back to visit and straight up said he wasn’t allowed to visit our hotel (because I never want him to meet my wife).

Do I consider her my mother? ...sure, in the absolute vaguest sense of the word. She made sure I made it from birth to 18, kept me clothed and fed and a roof over my head (while constantly reminding me about how much it cost to raise a kid.)

Do I consider him my father? Fuck. No. I left the house for college when I was 18, moved out when I was 22, have had three therapists, been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and probable PTSD, have gathered a small group of my own found family, and I still carry a lot of shit from that time in my life. I hate showing my body in any way, and tend to wear shirts that are, oh, 2-3 sizes too big. I hate eating “too much”, despite the fact that a) my wife doesn’t care if I finish something and b) I help pay for the fucking food. I get extremely anxious when I try to correct someone about something (like my pronouns), because I’m afraid they’re going to yell at me and tell me to stop being sensitive. My self esteem is still basically at rock bottom, to the point where I don’t believe people sometimes when they say they like my writing. I flinch when people try to touch me (that’s getting better, though).

I can’t even give him the bare minimum credit I give my mother, because he actively hindered my attempts to grow up and move on from the shit he put me through. He was, and still is, a terrible person, and the idea of him being my father makes me sick. I give more credit to by bio father (you know, the one who walked out because he knew he wouldn’t be a good father), because he’s at least made a few half-ass attempts throughout my life to show he cares (and in a way, I think he does, he just knew he wouldn’t be a good father). Paul, though? Paul could die tomorrow and I... I can’t say I wouldn’t care at all, just because he has had such a presence in my life, but I wouldn’t miss him.

If you have an abusive parental figure (be it bio/step/foster/adoptive/etc.), and you consider them your parent, then that’s you, and I don’t judge. But Paul, no matter what my mother says, will never be my father in any way. He actively made me afraid to exist or be in my own home. He left scars so deep that I don’t think I’ll ever totally move on from some of it. I need people to remind me that nothing he did was okay or normal, and that my mother wasn’t right for allowing it.

So basically, I have a lot of experience to back up why I don’t think abusive parents should be considered parental figures. Parents are supposed to help you grow and care about you and want you to succeed. Paul did none of those things. He continues to be an active roadblock in my life, as a matter of fact. And I refuse to feel bad about not considering him a parental figure.

[licenselesswriter]

Hey! I know you probably already answered everything in your head, but let's go... (this is not my revenge yet) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 43, 45, 46, 47, 49, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 57, 60, 61, 63, 66, 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 74, 76, 77, 79, 82, 84, 85, 88, 89, 90, 91, 91, 93, 94, 95, 97, 100.

Well, you are Vengeance, you are the Night, you’re Batman LOL.

1. What is your middle name? As I said in a question before, my middle name is Hernán, which is a germanic name, a variation of Fernando, which means brave.

2. How old are you? Oh boy, I'm an old geezer who writes fanfics after and before his job, 32.

3. When is your birthday? August 22

4. What is your zodiac sign? I am a proud representative of the House of Leo.

5. What is your favorite color? Grey, I love grey, like fucking love that motherfucking neutral color LOL.

6. What’s your lucky number? 14 baby.

7. Do you have any pets? I do, a cat called Coshino.

8. Where are you from? I'm from the first country of South America, if you start from the south, Chile.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? shoes? technically, 1, the rest are all sneakers, which are, 2 running sneakers, 2 training sneakers, 3 party sneakers, and 6 basketball sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about? Uh, hard, I dreamed that my father was alive, not in a sweet and Mufasa way, but more in a "for some reason, I got a philosopher stone and revive my father using alchemy, without losing an arm or a leg" kinda way, it was cool.

13. What talents do you have? I love to say that my writing, but I kinda trained that skill, so I'm gonna go with like, blessings from God LOL. Cooking Baking Basketball Physics and last but not least, Math.

14. Are you psychic in any way? nope.

15. Favorite song? You did a top 5, so, now it's my turn. 5 - Backstreet Boys - I want it that way 4 - Anthony Ramos, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Jon Rua, Leslie Odom, Jr. & Original Broadway Cast of “Hamilton” - Ten Duel Commandments 3 - Panic at the Disco! - I write sins not tragedies 2 - Sabrina Carpenter - Alien 1 - Foo Fighters - Walk

16. Favorite movie? This one is easier, Coach Carter, I love that movie.

18. Do you want children? Hell yes, baby.

20. Are you religious? I am.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Yes, drinking in a public park, at 2 A.M. with a few friends.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 2 actually, I mean, Chilean Celebs, both during the year my Dad put me on Tennis classes, we receive a master class on doubles from Nicolas Massu and Fernando Gonzales, who won Gold on Athenas 2004 on doubles.

28. What type of music do you like? Just like Lou Bega on Mambo N°5, I'm like, a little bit of everything in my life, because music is love.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes, and it's actually really comfortable.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Over my belly.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 500 ml of a Raspberry, Celery, Banana, and Yogurt smoothie, bread with cheese, 500 ml of water, because you need to stay hydrated.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and it was awesome. Did I try to pull a "wanted" curve bullet? yes. Did I fail? yes to that too.

35. Have you ever tried archery? The main reason I was in the range, anime made me very interested in archery, which ends up in me practicing for a few years.

36. Favorite clean word? Food.

37. Favorite swear word? Motherfucker.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 3 days.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? No idea, if I had, then that person was really good on the secret part, because never had a clue, on the other side, I have the awareness of a rock when it comes to that kind of things.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I try, I fail to do, but I try LOL.

45. What is your favorite accent? Russian, for some reason, that feels like the coolest accent ever.

46. What is your personality type? ISTJ BABY!!! AGUANTE LA LOGICA HERMANO

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Tailored dark grey suit, with a tailored white shirt, a black tie, and a pair of cufflinks with the letter B on them.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I guess this is for staying in or outside the house, right? Then I'm an Innie, I love to stay at home, watch movies and tv shows, like, that's the life.

50. Left or right-handed? both, ambidextrous

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, but I vowed my life to exterminate every one of those scary 8 legged bastards that ever cross my way, also, the main reason I would never put a foot in Australia.

52. Favorite food? To cook? Christmas Turkey To eat? Fried Chicken.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I'm messy, but I do my best, does that count?

55. Most used phrased? Life's not fair, it's just life.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 7 minutes.

60. Do you talk to yourself? I do, that's also, one of my writing methods LOL

61. Do you sing to yourself? All-day.

63. Biggest Fear? Syringes.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I mean, both are cool, but since Tangled, I kinda enjoy long hair, like, it's really fun to braid it? my niece always asked, and I always refused, but after that movie, man, it's really relaxing and fun.

68. Favorite school subject? Math and Physics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? IRL, introvert, Online, extrovert, makes sense?

71. What makes you nervous? Syringes

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nope, the best and funniest stories are made in the dark.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, I have.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes.

79. Who was your first real crush? I guess not a TV Show character, I even remember her name LOL her name was Cheryl, and her last name, I will leave that in mystery.

82. How fast can you type? If I know what I have to write, really fast.

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color are your eyes? Brown

88. What do your parents do? Both my parents are teachers. My mom is an English Teacher, and my Father was a Math Teacher.

89. Do you like your age? Of course, I do, I loved every year I've been alive.

90. What makes you angry? People who always arrive late, like, for fuck's sake, it's no hard get in time to a place.

91. Do you like your own name? I do.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both.

94. What are your strengths? Like Hal Jordan himself, my will, and like Lucas Friar, I'm also strong as a horse.

95. What are your weaknesses? Fear of failure.

97. Were your ancestor's royalty? Not royalty exactly, but my great grandfather was a count in France.

100. Color of your room? Grey baby

[hecate-herself]

Every single prompt I have written?

I think that this is every prompt that I’ve done so far, as of 28/03/2020

1.         “Come to bed with me?”  

2.         “Do you even still love me?”  

3.         “I think you’re bleeding…”    

4.         “Get off my foot!”

“Get your foot out from underneath my foot.”

5.         “Shh, it’s okay, you don’t need to cry.”

6.         “I can’t sleep.”    

7.         “Why did you lie to me?”

8.         “Don’t move, they hit your head really hard.”    

9.         “Have a good day.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

10.      “Do you want a bedtime story?”

11.      “Are you sure that you have enough blankets?”    

12.      “Get out. I am done with you.”    

13.      “That looks broken. You need a doctor.”

14.      “Oh, you can go to hell.”

“Stop threatening me with a good time.”    

15.      “[mama/papa]’s got you.”

16.      “I need a hug. Please?”

17.      “Isn’t it your bedtime?”

“Hypocrite.”

“Come to bed with me then.”

18.      “I love you, but please, shut up.”

19.      “Don’t touch me.”

20.      “I can’t stand the sight of you right now. Get away from me.”

21.      “I said that I never wanted to see you again. Why are you here?”

“I just wanted to help!”

22.      “Please… I am begging you, just open your eyes. Please. You can’t die.”

23.      “I’m not hurt.”

“You are actively bleeding.”

“Oh. So I am.”

24.      “Don’t pass out on me now, we’re nearly home.”

25.      “Isn’t this illegal?”

“Yes, but technically no.”

26.      “Penny for your thoughts?”

“If my thoughts are only worth a penny, I shall keep it to myself.”

27.      “Did you just stab me?”

28.      “…How on earth did you manage to get up there?”

29.      “Put the cookie down, eat your dinner first.”

30.      “I think I can feel them kicking!”

31.      “Are you asleep?”

“Not anymore.”        

32.      “What if I don’t get better? What if I am broken?”        

33.      “That is going to leave a really nasty scar.”          

34.      “Nothing could go wrong, you said. Well guess what? Everything has gone wrong!”    

35.      “Quick, I think the baby is coming!”

36.      “You made me breakfast in bed? What did you do this time?”

37.      “I trusted you.”        

38.      “I don’t… I don’t feel good.”            

39.      “Come any closer and I will hit you with this book. I swear to God!”

40.      “Where did you put your blankie this time.”

41.      “Can you check for monsters under the bed?”

42.      “You broke my heart.”        

43.      “Hey, are you alright?”

“Do I look alright to you?”  

44.      “That best not be the last of the milk… Oh you bastard.”          

45.      “One little shoe. Two little shoes. All ready to go out.”

46.      “It’s just a bad dream. I’ve got you, it’s okay.”        

47.      “I wish that I never had met you.”    

48.      “It’s so cold.”

“You need to hold on a bit longer, you are going to be fine. Just stay awake a little longer.”  

49.      “Roses are red, violets are blue- ow. Fuck you!”      

50.      “They have grown so much, it’s hard to believe how little they used to be.”

51.      “Have you stolen my shirt?”  

52.      “Stop lying to me!”    

53.      “I can’t breathe.”        

54.      “Okay, start from the beginning, you lost me right after you said that you punched someone.”

“That was the first thing that I said.”

55.      “I want another baby.”

56.      “I never want you to feel like you are alone.”            

57.      “You are the worst mistake I have ever made.”        

58.      “Where am I?”            

“Are you day drinking?”

“It’s apple juice, not whiskey.”        

59.      “Say goodbye to mama and papa, they’ll be back soon.”

60.      “Kiss me.”

61.      “You loved me!”

“Loved. Past tense.”        

62.      “Don’t go. Please. I can’t lose you.”        

63.      “Do you pinky promise?”

“What are you? Five?”    

64.      “Stomach bug?”

“No, morning sickness.”

65.      “I feel safe in your arms.”

66.      “Am I just a game to you?”          

67.      “I’ve got you, you are going to be okay.”            

68.      “Lunch?”

“It’s half seven. In the evening.”

“Dinner then?”    

69.      “It could be worse?”

“They got jam everywhere!”

70.      “I dreamed about you last night. I woke up happy.”

71.      “Stop pretending to care.”            

72.      “Please tell me that isn’t all your blood.”

73.      “What are you reading?”  

74.      “You really are your [mother/father]’s child.”

75.      “I was thinking, you, me, the bottle of wine in the kitchen and sitting in front of the fire. Thoughts?”

“Yes please.”

76.      “You hurt me!”          

77.      “You’re burning up.”

78.      “I don’t mean to alarm you, but the spider in the shower is frankly massive.”    

79.      “So… the baby is fine, I want you to know that first, they are absolutely fine.”

“What did you do?”

80.      “Thank you for looking after me.”

“For you I would do anything.”    

81.      “Wouldn’t you rather be with [him/her/them]?”

82.      “I think you need to see a doctor.”

83.      “You didn’t see anything.”

“Yes, I did. I saw all of it.”    

84.      “They won’t stop crying and, in a minute, I think I am going to start crying too.”

85.      “Are you wearing a new lip balm? It tastes really good.”            

86.      “You ripped my heart to pieces. Did it even hurt when you left?”  

87.      “It’s just a bit of blood. I’m fine.”  

88.      “I will make dinner if you don’t speak for the rest of the afternoon.”  

89.      “Stop wiggling! I need to get you changed!”

90.      “Do you have a reason to get out of bed today? Let’s just stay here as long as we can.”    

91.      “Did you ever love me, or was it just an act?”      

92.      “It’s just a nightmare. I’ve got you.”          

93.      “Can I adopt the stray cat out in the street?”

“Do you want fleas? Because that is how you get fleas.”          

94.      “You are perfect, my little [pet name].”

95.      “Stop smiling at me like that, I am trying to concentrate.”        

96.      “I feel like no one could ever love me.”    

97.      “Take a deep breath.”

“It hurts.”

“I know, but you have to breath.”  

98.      “Do we have any cookies in? No? I’m making cookies.”

99.      “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Uh huh.”

“Come on, get into bed with us, you can sleep in bed with us tonight.”

100.  “Can I kiss you?”      

101.  “Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.”    

102.  “You’re going to be okay, just breath. Oh god… is that bone?”

103.  “What would you do if I said that I may have burnt the dinner?”            

104.  “Take a break. I’ll stay up with them, you need some sleep.”

105.  “Yes, you look great in my shirt. But I kind of need it back.”            

106.  “Go ahead, leave, I am not going to stop you.”  

107.  “That hit hard, are you okay?”      

108.  “The amount of alcohol I am going to need to forget this is going to kill me.”

109.  “How did you get pen that high up the wall?”

110.  “I am madly in love with you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have a clue.”      

111.  “You’ll come crawling back to me.”

“Never.”  

112.  “Please breath, please… oh god.”  

113.  “I may have… mildly panicked?”

“You shot at me!”          

114.  “Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t… You vomited on me.”

115.  “Kiss me. Now.”        

116.  “Please don’t say that, I don’t think I can take it.”          

117.  “Did you get shot?”  

118.  “You drank my coffee? Why must you hurt me in this way?”          

119.  “How many coffees is that?”

“You try having a toddler who refuses to go to bed.”

120.  “May I have this dance?”    

121.  “Fuck off and fall off a cliff.”          

122.  “Don’t you dare die on me, you promised me!”  

123.  “What do you mean you aren’t interested in me, it’s me!”        

124.  “It’s your bedtime.”

“Can I have a story?”

“I just read you a story.”

“’nother story?”

125.  “Hold me, please?”  

126.  “I’d have stayed, if you had asked me to.”          

127.  “It hurts.”

“I know, it is going to be okay, I promise.”

“It burns, please… Make it stop.”  

128.  “Hungry?”

“Depends on if you are cooking or we are going out.”    

129.  “I just put them down for a nap. We probably have an hour of peace.”

130.  “Did you make me breakfast in bed? I think that I love you.”    

131.  “I’m sorry, but I didn’t have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice!”  

132.  “Your nose is bleeding.”      

133.  “No, I am not playing spin the bottle with you.”

“But it will be fun!”

“There are only two people here!”

134.  “Fuck.”

“Fuck!”

“No. Don’t repeat that. It’s a naughty word.”

“Fuck.”

135.  “Happy birthday!”    

136.  “After everything you put me through, you come here and ask for my help? How dare you!”          

137.  “Hey, you passed out, stay laying down for a bit longer.”          

138.  “Did you just get dragged through a bush, or are you always this messy?”

“I couldn’t find a comb.”

139.  “If the kid can nap, am I allowed to as well?”

140.  “Look up. Mistletoe.”          

141.  “Bite me.”      

142.  “How did I get here?”

“I had to carry you. You hit your head really hard.”        

143.  “How do you feel about killing spiders?”

“Where is it?”            

144.  “When mummy and daddy love each other very much…”

145.  “Don’t you just look absolutely stunning?”

“You are biased.”

“I am your partner, I am allowed to be.”

146.  “I hate you so much.”

“I know. I deserve it.”          

147.  “I’m calling the doctor.”

“I am fine.”

“You really aren’t.”  

148.  “Why are you on the floor? Did you fall?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?”        

149.  “Can you tidy your toys away please? Preferably before I break my neck tripping over a stuffed turtle.”

150.  “Did you sleep last night? At all?”

“God no, what do you take me for?”    

151.  “Get out!”

“Please let me explain.”

“Out!”  

152.  “it could be worse.”

“You aren’t the one bleeding.”

“Look, you are still alive. Stop whining.”  

153.  “Pass me that would you- no, no the other one. On your left. No… your other left.”

154.  “Hush little baby don’t say a word, mummy has a headache and your crying hurts.”

155.  “You and me, together. We’re unbeatable. We can go against all odds and come out on top.”

156.  “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Well-“

“That was rhetorical.”    

157.  “Are you bleeding?”

“We don’t have time to deal with it. I’ll be fine.”

158.  “Is this heaven?”

“Well, judging by your presence here, hell.”

“Oh. So I am dead?”        

159.  “Is it wrong for me to wish that they never grow up and I can keep my baby forever?”

“I kind of want that too.”

160.  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I am just… speechless. You look beautiful.”        

161.  “Don’t touch me!”          

162.  “Walk it off.”

“I don’t know if I can walk.”      

163.  “Alright, which one of you idiots left your shoes out for me to trip over again?”  

164.  “Open wide. Come on, eat your dinner!”

“It probably tastes awful.”

“It doesn’t- okay. No, it is pretty bad.”

165.  “I’ve had nightmares. That was like a living hell.”

166.  “Did you sleep well?”

“Only because you were with me.”

167.  “Love me!”

“I love you. Now shut up and go to sleep.”

168.  “Don’t move. The spider is on your shoulder.”

169.  “How many stitches?”

“Eight. But I think I just ripped two of them out.”

170.  “Can I sleep in here? I don’t like the storm.”

“Scared of a little thunder?”

171.  “You’re dripping blood everywhere.”

“Sorry, is there a place you’d prefer I stand and bleed?”

“The bathroom. It’s easier to clean up.”

172.  “Let’s play a game.”

“Oh no, you are a cheat. I’m not playing against you.”

173.  “Bite me.”

“Have you ever said that and been bitten?”

“More times than I’d like to admit.”

174.  “Pour us a drink would you? It’s been a long day.”

“Whiskey, brandy, wine or water?”

“If you pour me a glass of water I may actually leave you.”

175.  “Get out the shower! You’ve been in there for hours!”

176.  “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re a liar. Sit down and let me patch you up.”

177.  “Mama.”

“Did they just… Was that their first word?

178.  "I’m going to the shops. Needs anything?”

“A will to live. And coffee.”

“A will to live sounds expensive. I’ve got a tenner.”

“Coffee and chocolate then. Close enough.”

179.  “Shit it’s on fire.”

“What did you do?!”

180.  “How’s the baby doing?”

“They won’t stop crawling underneath the bed.”

181.  “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been stabbed.”

“Have… Have you been stabbed?”

“A little bit.”

182.  “Why are you in a tree?”

“Why aren’t you in a tree?”

“Are you stuck?”

183.  “Let’s get a pet.”

“There’s a spider in the kitchen. That’ll do.”

184.  “What time is it?”

“Way too early.”

185.  “Bed time.”

“I’m an adult.”

“An adult who has been up for nearly thirty six hours, go to bed. Before I drag you up there myself.”

186.  “Did you have a good dream?”

“Yeah, you were there.”

187.  “What did you do this time?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“The black eye is a bit of a give away.”

188.  “I’m begging you. Please. Please. Just wake up. I need you to wake up. I can’t be without you. Wake up, please.”

189.  “What did you do to [her/him]? Tell me!”

190.  “I’m actually going to smack you in a minute.”

“Go for it.”

191.  “What are you doing?”

“Wasting time.”

192.  “You’re bleeding.”

“I know.”

193.  “This is going to really hurt.”

“I know, just do it.”

194.  “Let’s just get really drunk.”

“Bad day?”

“Bad doesn’t cover it. We have wine in, right?”

195.  “Tuck me into bed?”

“You are an adult.”

“So?”

196.  “Kiss me, please?”

“Nah.”

“Fine, I will kiss someone else.”

“No, don’t do that!”

197.  “Come to bed. I sleep better with you there.”

198.  “It would be better if you just forgot me.”

199.  “I don’t want to talk about it, just leave me alone.”

200.  “I love you.”

“But I don’t love you.”

201.  “Where did you get that scar from?

202.  “Hold still, I think it’s broken, I can set it, but this will really hurt.”

203.  “I haven’t slept in days. The nightmares won’t stop.”

204.  “Wake up, I think someone else is here.”

205.  “One drink, two drink, three drink, floor!”

206.  “How is the hangover?”

“You can great straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred pounds.”

207.  “I love mummy.”

“What about me?”

“Just mummy.”

208.  “Your brat keeps kicking me in the kidney.”

“How come you say they’re mine whenever they are doing that?”

209.  “First day of school, are we excited?”

“No.”

210.  “Stay in bed a little longer. It is warm here.”

“Alright, five more minutes, then I have to get up.”          

211.  “I want to hate you, I really do. You repulse me. So why can’t I stay away from you?”              

212.  “Does it hurt here?”

“Everywhere hurts.”      

213.  “Are you cheating?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because you cannot have three aces when I have two.”

214.  “They’re asleep. We finally have some time to… and you are already asleep.”

215.  “How do you always look so kissable?”    

216.  “How could you do it? To me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think sorry is going to fix this.”    

217.  “Oh god I think I am going to throw up.”

218.  “Cup of coffee?”

“God?”

“I… I don’t think I am.”  

219.  “Is… Is it mine?”

“Bastard, of course it’s yours!”

220.  “I just want to steal you away to somewhere private and have my wa- oh! I didn’t see you there.”

“I gathered.”      

221.  “I wish that I had never loved you.”        

222.  “I can’t stop the bleeding. Please, I need help.”

223.  “Ow shit!”

“Language.”

“Ow Merde!”

224.  “I go away for six months and I come home, and you have a baby.”

225.  “Will you be my Valentine?”

226.  “I got you a gift.”

“Why?”

“It’s Valentines day today?”

227.  “A candlelit dinner?”

“Anything for you my dear.”

228.  “Why are there roses all over the bed?”

“Valentines day?”

“You can tidy that mess up.”

229.  “I made dinner reservations.”

“So did I. Surprise?”

230.  “Supri- oh shit you’re not [insert character name].”

“Oh god! What the hell? Where are your clothes?”

231.  “There are flowers on the doorstep.”

“Who from?”

“I think that you have a secret admirer.”

232.  “I guess that you could say that I am a hopeless romantic.”

“I would have just stopped at hopeless.”

233.  “I love you.”

“I know. No, I’m just joking! I love you too!”

234.  “Happy Valentines day.”

“I didn’t think we would do anything for it.”

“I changed my mind, I wanted to treat you.”

235.  “You. Me. Quarantined for two weeks. Anything could happen.”

“Yeah. I may kill you. Or we may both get sick.”

236.  “You know, in thirteen years, we could get a quaranteen out of this.”  

“I think that I would rather just get sick. Thanks though.”

237.  “You have quite a high temperature.”

“Do… Does that mean you think I’m hot?”

“And you are clearly delirious.”

238.  “You are coughing an awful lot, you really should be in bed.”

239.  “We should do what they did in Edinburgh.”

“Which was?”

“Anyone who was sick got bricked into their homes and left to die.”

“Oh… No, we aren’t doing that.”

240.  “We are running out of milk.”

“God, I hate black coffee.”

“Maybe someone shouldn’t have got sick then?”

241.  “Is this necessary?”

“You sneezed. You get locked away.”

242.  “If you cough on me, I will end you.”

243.  “If this kills us, I am glad that I got to spend my last few days with you.”

“It’s a bloody cold.”

244.  “I wonder what the world will be like when we can go outside again.”

“It’s two weeks, not two decades.”

245.  “I made you some tea.”

“Thank you.”

“But I am not coming into your room, I’ll leave it out here.”

246.  “I made you some soup. Open your mouth, I just want to check your temperature first.”

247.  “I just want… chocolate.”

“We have three days left. Then you can eat so much chocolate that you are sick.”

“That is the plan.”

248.  “I have nothing to read.”

“What about those books on your bedside table?”

“I’ve been inside for ten days. I’ve finished them.”

249.  “I can’t believe that I want to be exercising right now. Anything that isn’t these same four walls for another week.”

250.  “I am so bored. I would do anything right now.”

“Anything?”

“Anything but you.”

251.  “How many rounds of snap have we played?”

“Um… Thirty-six. It’s not my fault you’re bad at any other card game.”

252.  “How long will we be inside for?”

“Fourteen days.”

“This isn’t enough coffee.”

253.  “I swear there is mistletoe everywhere.”

254.  “Close your eyes. I want to surprise you.”

“I hate surprises.”

“You’ll like this one.”

255.  “Mince pie?”

“Raisons disgust me.”

“I made them myself.”

“I suppose that it couldn’t hurt to try one.”

256.  “You are awful with wrapping paper.”

“I nearly gave up and just wrapped myself up instead.”

257.  “What are you doing?”

“Tying a ribbon around you.”

“Why?”

“You’re a gift.”

258.  “Do you think you can survive Christmas with my parents?”

“Can you?”

“We are going to need a lot of alcohol.”

259.  “I think it’s snowing.”

“I think I am not leaving the house today.”

260.  “We need hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows.”

261.  “We should go ice skating.”

“I don’t know how to skate.”

“That’s fine, I could do with a good laugh.”

262.  “You forgot to get them a present, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t realise that we were actually doing anything for Christmas!”

“A fool’s error.”

263.  “Do I get a kiss at midnight?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“If I am still awake. And sober.”

264.  “I think that I am on the naughty list.”

“Oh yes, you definitely are.”

[rainbowgoddd99]

♡︎Even at any moment You are always the sh*t ♥︎

Read it over and over every minute as much as you need just keep going you can it’s okay if you think you can’t you can you can you can you CAN!!!! Take it easy one by one you definitely can. If you can’t focus on your own life then try to make another’s bright even if it’s just one word you can you can be that light until you find your own. You are strong you matter.

1. We would miss you.

2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.

3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.

4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.

5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.

6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.

7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

8. You are amazing.

9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better.

10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.

11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.

12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.

13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.

14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.

15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.

16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died?

17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.

18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again...

19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day

20. Listening to incredibly loud music

21. Being alive is just really good.

22. Not being alive is really bad.

23. Finding your soulmate.

24. Red pandas

25. Going to diners at three in the morning.

26. Really soft pillows.

27. Eating pizza in New York City.

28. Proving people wrong with your success.

29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.

30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can.

31. Being able to help other people.

32. Bonfires.

33. Sitting on rooftops.

34. Seeing every single country in the world.

35. Going on roadtrips.

36. You might win the lottery someday.

37. Listening to music on a record player.

38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

39. Taking really cool pictures.

40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.

41. Hearing crazy stories.

42. Telling crazy stories.

43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.

44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know.

45. Travelling to another planet someday.

46. Having an underwater house.

47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.

48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel.

49. Trampolines.

50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.

51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke,

52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.

53. People do care.

54. Treehouses

55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse

55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees

56. I don’t even know you and I love you.

57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.

58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!

59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.

60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!

61. Starbucks.

62. Hugs.

63. Stargazing.

64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.

65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.

66. Now you could change the world.

67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.

68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.

69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.

70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.

71. Making snow angels.

72. Making snowmen.

73. Snowball fights.

74. Life is what you make of it.

75. Everybody has a talent.

76. Laughing until you cry.

77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.

78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.

79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down .

80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.

81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.

82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

83. One day your smile will be real.

84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.

85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.

86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.

87. Eating crazy food.

88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.

89. Sleeping in all day.

90. Creating something you’re proud of.

91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.

92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.

93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate.

94. The new season of Sherlock.

95. Cuddling under the stars.

96. Being stupid in public because you just can.

97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile?

98. Being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years.

99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.

100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen at any moment, make the most out of your life, life seems so long but short, enjoy it, do whatever you want, break a bunch of laws, travel the world, change your style, help others, do things that make you happy. Who gives. FUCK what people say or judge you about just bark at them. Have a good mindset and you’ll be ok. I love you <333333

You got this yeah that seems shallow to say but hell YOU GOT THIS you do look at you I mean you’re amazing it’s okay to not feel it from time to time but you’re important yes the hell you are fuck those voices you are important you are you matter you mean something on this world you exist the world know it you have helped so many so let them help you back now yes pain hurtsss so much it really hurts and it feels like it’s never ending it makes you not have a thing to look forward to but you know what it’s not forever it’s not I know that’s not the best to hear when you are in such pain but you can do this you can do it even if you can’t see light pretend there is one if you can’t then just laugh an laugh an laugh because one day that laugh will be real and you’ll look back an just amazing wonder just how you did it and that’s because you’re strong you are also remember these thing you are valid you are you matter and you are godam awesome you learn with everything it makes you stronger it molds you so when you find your destiny you’ll be really it just sucks with uncertainty there’s so many versions of you and each is amazing each can do this each an every one you will definitely see light again it’s coming just taking time on your path because it’s so amazed by the greatness it’s seeing and soon you’ll see just want it did you got a life you really do you got one dangg you do! It’s amazing it really is it can be tiring definitely it wears you down just know you won’t be tired forever

You will look up one day and breath and that air will be so clear

You will see just what life really is and that’s

Wonderful

Full of different experience

There’s pain

There’s regret

But there’s discovering new things

Obsessing over dumb things

Life is not horrible it’s not amazing either at then end of the day life is life it’s random an definitely unexplainable but it’s for you an only you emotions will get to you but some things need you to some things you’re there destiny and you yourself have a great destiny you got this I mean it I know you do now cry scream get mad regret do it all!!!!!!!! But know you really do got this you are strong and you YOU CAN LIVEEEE!!!!!!

Not today not tomorrow either not ever okay

You got this you have so many rolls left

You can smile

Fuck it lol if any one ever is over it just say fuck it

I made this for people that in every bodies eyes is amazing and make them feel better and people suffering with mental issues I made this for people who don’t go out enough that they are losing vitamins in there body and are causing physical damage to there body because you can’t get up in time to do normal things like pee I want you to know I know it’s not a joke I know it hurts and I know half of you suffer alone or try to do masking techniques you have been taught. Others are out there and sure there are some that try to understand and relate and that’s very nice that they try but I get that in them doing that it makes you feel more and more bad they mean no harm tho remember that they aren’t you so they have no clue what they do. There is some there just like you it’s true. You just have to find them.

It's your life fuck anyone who tries to have a say in it you all are your own main mother freaking character you all are.

[damienhaasbaybee]

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

[harrieatthemet]

Signature

in which your sister gets engaged and Harry needs the sheet of paper. 

im baaaaaaaack!

He’s absolutely green with envy.

Riddled, consumed, and enveloped by jealousy. If he wasn’t so good at putting on a show, surely someone would’ve picked up on it by now. But he is; he’s made a career out of it, after all.

His eyes linger modestly on your sister as she sits vertical from him at the table. And he smiles as she gushes about her news, trying his hardest to match her excitement as he cracks a smile.

“It’s beautiful,” you coo, your grin almost as wide as your sisters, “let me see it again.”

Harry stares with adorn as your sister extends her hand across the table, placing her palm to rest in yours for the third time.

Platinum silver. He prefers rose gold but he sees how content your sister is, and decides to compliment her on her fiancées choice in color. He can’t tell quite how many carats it is; 2, maybe 3? Not that it matters. Modest, he thinks, but again it’s his own preference. He likes to be dramatic, but that’s his preference.

He knows asking will only fuel the jealousy even more, but he can’t help but give into curiosity.

He directs his attention to your sisters fiancée, “how did you propose?”

Without even so much as glancing at your sister, he can see from the corner of his eyes the way her eyes light up; almost like she had been waiting all night for someone to ask that very question. Your expression doesn’t lack enthusiasm either, with wide eyes and a child-like grin.

The two of you both sit and listen, your sister fiddling with the new diamond sitting comfortably on her ring finger.

Harry zoned out around the first couple of sentences. And it’s not because he isn’t happy for your younger sister; he’s over the moon. She’s as good as family, if not better, to him. Seeing her happy and engaged makes him feel good, at least, it should.

“M’happy for yeh kiddo,” and Harry means it sincerely, “gonna make a brilliant bride.”

His comment is genuine, even though as he makes it he knows you’d be twice as beautiful in an all white gown. And though the engagement story, for the small amount he was mentally tuned into, was nice he knows he’d propose to you far more creatively.

The mere thought of if makes his throat go all dry, in the best kind of way of course. Butterflies flutter subtly inside his stomach. The lighting in the kitchen is dim enough so no one can ask him why his cheeks haven’t gone a bit pink.

He’s so meticulous, so he knows his proposal would be so well planned. It would play out so nicely; romantic for sure. Private as well, not that it would matter; he’s sure that the occasion, even the gesture itself, would be so intimate it would feel like you and him were the only two people in the world.

“Your next.” 

He feels your sister’s voice almost before he hears it. And his neck cranes back from their brief hug goodbye so she could see the expression on his face; puzzled. 

“M’sorry?”

“You’re next.” the second time she says it is more giddy, her hand subtly raised so she can wiggle. her ring finger before you catch her. 

And even minutes later, as he trails behind you through the front door of the house, he’s still got the image of a sparkly engagement ring ingrained in his head. 

Your hands put the keys in the dish, then they’re twirling the stray piece of hair hanging from your bun. With knitted brows, he watches your hands, your barren ring finger in specific, and imagines a blinding diamond. He imagines how you’d react when he asked; would you cry? Hopefully not, if you cry he will too. 

“Too much wine?”, Your voice is even more melodic in real time than it is inside in his head.

He can peek just over his shoulder in order to get a clear shot of you, nestled comfortably into the sitting room couch. Your shoes are plopped down just at the bottom of the couch, while your feet end up finding relief atop the coffee table he’d just shelled out thousands on. Usually he’d hiss at you, swat your heels off because hello, smudges! But it’s an argument he’s willing to retire for right now; he’s divulged in half a bottle of red and his daydreams have him feeling as though he could walk on water. 

A pat on the open seat beside you is more than enough to lure him from the opposing end of the room, bringing with him that dorky smile. He also makes time to toe off his shoes, sprawling out his body along the couch so his head falls into your lap. 

“Had a nice night,” he sighs contently, letting out the words all in one breath, “never seen y’sister smile f’so long.” 

He lets out another small puff of air, his eyes fluttering closed as he succumbs to bliss. You know he loves this; loves when you run a couple fingers through the tousled pieces of hair at the front of his head. He’e fell asleep right here, in the middle of the living room, if he didn’t have plans to initiate a marital conversation.

“Mmm,” you hum, “me neither, s’good for her. Good for them.” 

“Innit?” and now he’s ready to lead this conversation where he’s been wanting to, “was a bit of a surprise, though, yeah?” 

“A surprise?,” you reiterate, and he modestly looks up at you as a way of agreeing, “Not really, no. It surprised you?” 

“I mean,” he hesitates, “it did a bit, yeah.” 

There’s a brief pause amidst the conversation. You haven’t got a clue as to what he’s eating away at him. Clearly something is; it’s blatantly clear in the way his eyes are cautiously peeking up at you before randomly roaming about the room. And each time he opens his mouth to continue speaking, he promptly shuts it before allowing anything to come out. 

“Gonna tell me why?” and that’s all it takes for him to start blabbing. 

“I just,” he exhales, “dunno, always thought we’d be engaged before her. Hell, thought we’d be married before her.”  

A quick pause from you is enough to send his heart race inside his chest. His eyes are glued to you, blinking barely as he watches you gaze down at your hands tangled in a few strands of his hair. But you shrug. There’s a calm laugh coming from you, too, and he’s not sure whether to be relieved or put off by it. 

“It isn’t a race, you know.” you remind him.

“I know,” he agrees, “I know.” 

“Besides,” you sigh, letting your hand retreat as you ward off sleep, “never really saw us as the marrying type, anyways. 

A once steady breathing pattern has become irrationally ragged as he sits upright, eyes wide as he somehow has rid himself of a wine haze and a bit of a sleep fog. naturally, his eyebrows weave together in curiosity as he tries to play back what you just said to him. 

He doesn’t have enough thinking space to process you’re bewildered reaction. And he doesn’t have enough thinking space to understand what it was that got you to say that. How did this not come up sooner? How did he not know? How were the two of you not. on the same page. 

“Not th’marrying type?” he repeats your comment slowly, word for word. 

As much as he wishes he wasn’t, the longer he stares at you the more anger seems to bubble. The nod of your head as he repeated it made him want to physically crawl out of his skin and disappear. You seem so unbothered. 

“Tell me, than,” and his voice has become more condescending, “what exactly do you ‘see’ us as?”

“Are you mad?” your tone is much smaller now upon getting a look at the grim expression on his face; 

“G’on ‘n answer me.” 

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “comfortable?” 

He sits for a minute longer, clearly a prisoner to his own thoughts. For a couple more minutes, it’s just silent. The dishwasher in the next room is the only thing making noise, until that stops and it’s radio silent in the sitting room. 

Comfortable. Comfortable. It could really mean anything. And in any other context, he’s sure that you being comfortable with him was a flattering compliment; one he could enjoy. But not right now, because all it’s doing is sitting uneasy in the pit of his stomach. 

So he gets up. He decides that the longer he sits, the more unwell he starts to feel. And he’s assuming you’ll be respectful enough to give him a moment of peace; that’s the impression he’s under as he wanders out of the sitting room and turns for the kitchen. But of course, the padding of feet on hardwood is enough of an inkling to tell him he’s got company following on the heels of his feet. 

“Well I’m not a mind reader,” you snap, “so if you’re feeling some kind of way right now, it’s best that you grow up and tell me.” 

It’s calm for a moment; eerily calm. It’s the kind of stillness that occurs before a storm. It’s a warning of something somber and treacherous; you could say the same for the expression on his face once he turns to look at you. 

“Bold of yeh t’decided we just aren’t th’marrying type,” he barks, “don’t quite remembering agreeing t’tha’.” 

You’re a bit taken aback, because you hadn’t necessarily realized just how cross he really was. He’s practically seething and, although a bit alcohol may be at a fault, you’re sure that 95% of this is all Harry. 

“I didn’t decide that,” you rebuke, “I just assumed it!”

“S’one hell of an assumption, than.” he snaps, and you roll your eyes. 

“S’been fucking years,” you jeer, “if we wanted to be married we would’ve done it by now.” 

He’s not entirely sure if you know just how low of a jab that was. If he wasn’t riding an anger high right now, he would be sure that you were unaware of it. But he’s decided that you do understand, and it only seems to make things worse. It only makes things more tense. 

“Y’right, yeah?” he laughs, but it’s bitter, “ ‘Cos my career is nonexistent, right? M’never busy?” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

He knows. At least, he thinks he knows. But it doesn’t matter. He’s angry and proving his point is the only thing he has the urge to do right now. 

“It’s a stupid piece of paper with our signature!” you argue, “It’s a sheet of fucking paper that we don’t need!”

“Maybe I need it,” he retorts, “maybe I do need the stupid sheet of paper!” 

“Oh, no, you don’t,” you shout, “you absolutely don’t, and you’re only saying you do to piss me off!” 

“Can’t build a home with comfortable,” he rebuttals, “can’t have a family with comfortable.” 

The words settle with you differently than he had intended them to. It’s almost as though you can feel your stomach flip a bit. It’s like your heart dropped to your stomach, demeanor softening a bit because as the words that just previously flew so freely from Harry’s mouth have no left you with a heartache and an overwhelming sense of disappointment. 

“So I’ll go,” you breath, “I’ll go, than.” 

[aeneidpdf]

big sky country

chapter: 3/?

word count: 4.3k+

summary: they set out for Niagara Falls, and stop for lunch at Becket Quarry.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394804/chapters/59282086

They got through the checkout line quickly, and then they were back in the van- Pete in the back, Ray and Art in the middle seats, and Abraham and Collie up front. Abraham fiddled with his phone, pulling up the directions to Niagara Falls while Collie popped in the first of the Johnny Cash CDs that Pete had bought.

It was the American IV: The Man Comes Around album. Johnny Cash’s voice came over the speakers, saying: "And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder. One of the four beasts saying, 'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a white horse."

“Great,” Abraham said. “A song about judgement day to start our trip. That’s not a bad sign at all.”

“It’s just a song,” Ray said.

“Ray’s right,” Pete added, lazing in the back row. “No need to worry yourself, Abe. Geez, good thing it wasn’t God’s Gonna Cut You Down or we never would’ve gotten this thing off the ground.”

In the side mirror, Art could see a hint of a grimace on Abraham’s face, but Collie was laughing and asking him to start the directions. Over top of the music, came the canned voice of the maps app: “Turn right to merge onto Maine Turnpike toward I-95. In 55 miles, keep left on I-95 South.”

Collie whistled low through his teeth. “Shit. Fifty-five miles.”

“Better get a move on!” It was Pete, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Lot more where that came from.”

Collie didn’t answer that, and they pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto the Maine Turnpike. Art didn’t quite know what he thought about the song, but he felt like he was on Abraham’s side. He didn’t practice much now, but he was raised Baptist, and his family had been heavily involved in the church down home in Louisiana, until they moved. They’d found a new church when they moved up to Maine. Art had been baptized in Highland Lake, just a thirty minute drive out of Portland, when he was eleven.

He had stood in the water that came up nearly to his armpits, his clothing floating loose around him and the marshy bottom of the lake swirling and tugging at his feet. It was a bright hot day in early May, but the water was cold, and the look in the minister’s eyes was serious. Art had been scared then. He wanted to turn tail and run back to his mother. But his mother and father and aunt and uncle were watching with bated breath, and his siblings were waiting on the shore, their shoes and socks shucked off and tossed aside. They were watching him too, and waiting for their turn. He was the oldest now; he had to be brave.

Art had then been dunked under the water and he resisted the urge to thrash against the strong hands that held him. The lake water wrapped around him and engulfed him like a coffin. He was drowning. He had forgotten to take a breath before the minister submerged him, and now he was drowning. He thought of another body, rotting in standing water, and bubbles expelled from his mouth in a mad burst as he let out a soundless scream. Finally, he was hauled up by the collar of his starched white dress shirt, and he came up breathless and temporarily blinded by the sun, while his mother cheered hysterically on the shore.

Thinking of it now still made him feel like he was going to be sick.

Even more than religion though, his life was ruled by superstition.

Superstitions were as sure as summer storms and waves of summer heat rising up from the cracked and melted asphalt. The whole south was steeped in superstition, and the Baker family was no exception. Superstition worked its way into the practices and customs of every season. On New Year’s, they ate black-eyed peas and collard greens for good luck and money. In fact, that was what they ate nearly all year round, because that was what they could afford.

The Baker children went around town with dimes strung around their necks to ward off the devil, and whenever his mother opened a new loaf of bread, she threw the first end slice in the garbage. “To keep money comin’ our way,” she explained when Art asked about it. Art watched, forlorn and hungry, as she tossed the bread into the garbage. Money never seemed to come their way.

In the summer, when the alligators came out of hibernation and the humidity floated off the wetlands and settled heavily over everything, Art was warned about alligators climbing out of the bayou and slithering under his house. Those meant there would be a death in the family soon. Art always took the stairs up and down the porch two at a time, frantic to get away from the monster hiding under the house, waiting for the perfect moment to snap at his ankles and drag him under.

There weren’t any alligators in Maine, but Art still sometimes dreamed of one, lying in wait for him, red eyes glowing out of the darkness. He shuddered imperceptibly at the thought.

Would a song ruin their whole trip? No, but a part of him still felt apprehensive.

Outside the window, South Portland disappeared, and they were on the Maine Turnpike, heading south. The song had changed, and Hurt was playing now. Over the van’s speaker system, Johnny Cash’s voice sang: “What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end.” The guitar melody built behind his voice in a way that made Art’s chest tighten. It rose in a crescendo and then disappeared as the next verse began.

“Have any of you heard the original of this song?” Ray asked.

From behind them, Pete answered, “Yeah. Nine Inch Nails. It’s good, but, you know, it’s not this.”

“I’d be fucking pissed if I wrote a song and then found out Johnny Cash did a cover of it,” Collie said.

Abraham laughed in the passenger seat. “Of course you’d be pissed.”

“Well, yeah! You write a song about some personal shit, and then Johnny Cash comes along and sings it and makes it a hundred times better. How would you feel?”

He thought for a moment and shrugged. “Shit, yeah. I guess I’d be kinda mad too.”

“You guys are thinking about it the wrong way,” Art said. “Imagine getting a call that Johnny Cash wants to record your song? That’d be exciting. That’d be an honor.”

He could see Collie looking at him in the rearview mirror, his eyes creased with his smile. “I guess that’s right.” It made Art smile too, and duck his head.

“It’s a good thing you’re on this thing with us, Art,” Abraham said, twisting around in his seat to face him. “It’s a good thing at least one of us isn’t an asshole.”

“Hey!” Pete protested. “Ray’s not an asshole.”

Ray snorted, and said, “Thanks, Pete.” Abraham twisted back around in his seat. The song changed. Art looked back out the window.

///

In a half hour, approximately forty miles into their journey, they passed a sign saying that there was a  toll plaza in four miles.

“Alright,” Collie said, turning the music down a few notches. “Who brought cash for tolls?” Silence answered him. Art had completely forgotten that they’d even need to pay tolls. “Jesus, nobody?”

“There’s a rest stop coming up on the right,” Abraham told him, reading the road signs as they zoomed past. “There’ll be an ATM there. We can take some cash out there.”

A couple miles down the road and they pulled into the rest stop. The parking lot was mostly empty as they all piled out of the minivan. The rest stop was a small building with a dramatically slanting roof and the front was mostly covered over with windows. Out front was a Smokey the Bear statue with a sign next to him proclaiming the fire danger in the area for today. The risk was low.

“I say we each take out $20,” Abraham suggested. “That should be good to start out, right?”

“I think so,” Ray said, looking like he was deep in thought. “After this, we’ve got a toll to get on the New Hampshire turnpike, and a shitton of them in Massachusetts. Once we’re west of New York, I have no clue.”

“Geez, you’re like a walking road map,” Pete said admiringly. Ray ducked his head. “We can spend whatever leftover cash we have on food and stuff.”

The group turned and headed towards the rest stop. Art followed, but Collie caught his arm and held him back. Art looked down at the hand and then into his friend’s face. Collie dropped his hand quickly.

“Art, if you want I can take out money for both of us,” he offered, his face flushed like he was embarrassed. “You don’t have to take out the $20 if you don’t want to.” Art heard the implication there. He meant: “if you can’t.”

Now it was Art’s turn to feel embarrassed. It brought him back to being a kid, and not being allowed to go to birthday parties because he couldn’t afford to rent the bowling shoes or the roller skates. It brought him back to eleventh grade, when they all got their driver’s licenses and started to go out to eat on the weekends and pass late nights crammed into diner booths. Pete had always pulled him aside and offered to pay his way for him. Pete always looked at him with a kind and earnest look in his eyes, and shame always rolled around in Art’s stomach like a hot coal.

He felt it now, rolling around in his stomach and pressing down on the back of his neck, forcing him to look down at his shoes. Collie was bouncing from one foot to the other, looking back at the rest stop every so often. The others were probably already crowded around the ATM, wondering what the hell was wrong with them.

“It’s alright, Collie. I can pay my own way. I have some money saved up,” he answered, finally looking back up at Collie. “Besides, it’s not like any of us have a ton of money.” Sickly he thought: there’s a big difference between being middle class and being poor. He knew that, and he knew Collie knew that. For a second, he thought Collie was going to say it, but mercifully, he didn’t. He just patted Art on the back, and the two of them walked across the parking lot to the rest stop.

///

Once they had finished at the rest stop, Collie had a modest stack of twenty dollar bills in his hand. The twisted the key in the ignition and the van rumbled to life. They pulled easily out onto the highway.

It was still only 9:30 in the morning, and the only traffic was huge semi-trucks carrying goods and produce across state lines. They rose up around the minivan on all sides, dwarfing it. Art figured the traffic would be heavier once they got closer to Boston. The route that Pete had devised had them driving within thirty miles of the city before veering off west into New York. Abraham’s phone estimated they wouldn’t reach Niagara Falls until 5:00 in the evening.

Their Johnny Cash CD had just restarted, and Abraham was shuffling through the other ones Pete had bought as Collie pulled up to the tollbooth. The toll only cost $3.00, and he handed the woman working in the booth a twenty with what looked like an apologetic smile. She gave him his change, the bar lifted, and they drove on.

“She probably thought I was a dick, paying with a twenty,” he mumbled to himself, sticking the change in his cup holder as he continued down I-95 South. Over the radio, Johnny Cash sang: “Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still. Listen to the words long written down, when the man comes around.” It was the song that had played when they first left the Target back in South Portland, the song that had made Abraham nervous. It made Art nervous, too. The upbeat guitar playing underneath it only served to remind him of his father, playing hymns on the back porch in Louisiana. The songs were always happy, but they said such horrible things.

He wondered if Abraham still thought the song was a bad sign. He wanted to ask him, but couldn’t bring himself to do it, in the car, in broad daylight. It seemed like the sort of thing where, if you admitted to it in the daylight, all the monsters and all the bad luck in the world would find you and strike you down. Better to say it in the dark, where you could hide. Art gulped- he guessed he was more superstitious than he thought.

Abraham ejected the CD, causing the music to cut out sharply. He put in the next CD, the American III: Solitary Man album. The first song on the album was I Won’t Back Down. A cover of a Tom Petty song. He noticed Collie was singing softly to himself. It made Art smile. He knew it was just the sort of song Collie would latch onto.

Ray had turned in his seat, and he and Pete had their heads together, putting their playlist together. Collie’s words in the Target that morning hadn’t deterred them.

“How much do y’all have so far?” Art asked, turning in his seat too to face them better.

“We’ve got like a hundred songs,” Ray answered. “All sorts of stuff.”

“Wow,” was Art’s only response.

“I think once we add a bit more we’ll be done,” Pete added. “We’re gonna be on the road for some ninety hours. Gotta be prepared.”

Art turned back around. Not for the first time, he wondered what exactly he had set into motion. Ninety hours on the road.

They crossed over a bridge, and beneath them the Piscataqua River lazed along. Some sailboats were gliding over the surface. Art wondered what it would be like, to lay on the deck on a sailboat, warming in the sun. Maybe his friends would be there too, casting their fishing lines over the side of the boat. Art decided that would be nice.

A sign posted on their right announced that they were entering New Hampshire.

“Look at that! We’re in New Hampshire!” he gasped out.

“New state!” Abe cheered, banging on the car dashboard.

“Maybe New Hampshire will be more to your liking, Parker,” Pete teased from the backseat.

Art was excited- it had been a long time since he’d crossed the Maine state line. They finished crossing the bridge, and the Maine Turnpike became the Blue Star Turnpike. The trip felt real in a way it hadn’t before. Art hadn’t left Maine since he was a kid, and now he was going to travel across the country. He looked around him, eagerly left and right, and took it all in.

After another twenty miles of driving, they came to another tollbooth. “Christ, again?” Collie exclaimed. “Fuck Maine, and fuck Maine’s roads.” They all laughed at his customary outburst.

“I think you mean New Hampshire?” Abe supplied.

“Yeah, fuck New Hampshire, too,” Collie grumbled.

“So… so far Parker hates 4% of states. Should we start placing bets on what that number’ll be by the end of the trip?” Pete asked.

Collie ignored him and gave the man at the tollbooth a few crumpled dollar bills. Then they were through.

“You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” Ray asked him fondly.

“Not at all,” Pete replied, and leaned back in his seat.

Art looked out the window.

///

They were in New Hampshire for only half an hour, and then they were crossing into Massachusetts. Another state to add to Art’s list. As they passed over the state line, Pete asked, in that fake earnest voice of his, “What do ya think of this one, Collie? Gonna add it to the list? Make it 6%?”

“You’re gonna get your stupid ass thrown out,” Art choked out between laughs.

“Art’s right, Pete. You’re getting yourself on my shit list,” Collie said.

“Who isn’t on your shit list?” Abraham asked.

“You know, Abe, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Hell, it’s fun to watch you get all red in the face.” Abraham grinned. Collie rolled his eyes but grinned too and kept on driving. They merged onto I-495 South, and then all the road signs began to point towards Boston.

“I was thinking we could stop and eat lunch around noon, and then switch drivers,” Pete said. His antagonistic streak seemed to be over, and he was back to examining the itinerary he’d put together for the trip.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Ray agreed.

���I like the sound of that,” Collie said.

“How you doin’ up there, Collie?” Art asked.

“Oh, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he assured, rolling back his shoulders and stretching. “But I’ll be ready to switch two hours from now.”

///

They were mostly quiet after that, just singing along to the CD playing over the radio, until they were nearing Lawrence, Massachusetts. There was an exit leading onto I-93 South, which would take them into Boston.

“Collie, can we go to Boston?” Abraham asked, looking longingly out the window, as if he could see the city’s skyline from the highway, thirty miles away. “I’ve never been to Boston.”

“Who the fuck lives in Maine and hasn’t been to Boston?” Collie asked in disbelief. “I’m not even from here and I’ve fucking been to Boston.”

“Well, fuck you. I don’t have a car, dipshit,” Abe shot back.

“That’s a shitty excuse. Just take a Greyhound from Portland into Boston,” Collie replied. “You guys have been to Boston, right? Even you, Art?”

Ray and Pete nodded, but Art shook his head. “No, I’ve never been. Until this, I hadn’t even left Maine in like eight years.”

They all looked faintly surprised at this. “Jesus, what?” Collie asked incredulously. “I’ve failed the two of you as a friend,” he said to Art and Abraham. “Once we get back, I’m taking the two of you to Boston.”

Art liked the sound of that- exploring a new city with Abraham and Collie Parker. His world seemed so much bigger than it had this morning, so much bigger than his present in Maine and his past in Louisiana.

///

By the time noon rolled around, they were nearing Blandford, Massachusetts. Boston was over a hundred miles behind them. “Pull off here,” Abraham instructed, and Collie did, and they rolled into Blandford. The welcome sign said the population was 1,233.

“There’s a park around here that’s really pretty. We should eat there,” Ray said, looking intently at his phone screen. Collie asked for directions, and Ray gave them. After a few minutes of driving they pulled into the parking lot of Becket Quarry and Collie paid the parking attendant $10. They’d already spent nearly $20, and it had only been a few hours. That stack of twenties wasn’t stretching as far as Art thought it would.

They all got out of the van and crowded around the trunk, pulling sandwiches and water bottles out of the cooler Abraham had brought. Collie grabbed one of the packs of beef jerky out of a Target bag, and then they were locking up the van and heading down the trail.

It wasn’t a far walk to the quarry, and along the path and trees surrounded them, green and leafy and tall. They reached the end of the path, and came upon the quarry. It was beautiful- the surface of the water reflected the endless blue sky overhead, and large rock faces emerged from the water and towered over it, covered over with moss and bright green foliage. There were a few different groups sitting around the quarry, but it was mostly empty- plenty of room for them to spread out and eat their lunch.

Abraham climbed one of the smaller rock formations overlooking the water and set his water and sandwich down. “We should go swimming.”

The rest of the group looked eager, excited at the prospect, but Art hesitated. “How deep is it?” he asked.

“Well, it’s a quarry, so I think the most shallow spot will still be at least forty feet,” Ray answered.

“Forty feet,” Art repeated softly to himself. That was awfully deep. It would be easy to disappear in that water and never come up again. That old panic gripped him.

The rest of them were stripping down to their boxers to swim. Abraham dove in first, and then Pete jumped in, dragging Ray with him by his hands. Collie went next, doing a cannonball and splashing the three of them in the water.

Art wished he could follow, but he imagined jumping in and sinking down down down, away from the light. Instead he took off his shoes and socks and sat at the edge of the water, his legs under it up to his mid-calves. The water was cold, perfectly refreshing for a summer day.

A few feet away, Abraham was floating on his back, and Pete and Ray splashed at him, giggling to each other like conspirators. Collie was swimming laps around them, his tanned arms glinting in the sunlight. Show off, Art thought, and suppressed a secret smile.

It made Art happy to watch him, and it felt good to bask in the sun, to feel it on his arms and his legs. It was still early June, but the temperature must have climbed past eighty degrees. It had been humid in the forest, but by the water the air felt crisp and clean.

The sun flashed brilliantly off the surface of the water, casting his friends in a harsh glare. They looked like an old overexposed photograph, or a child’s crayon-colored dream come to life. This, he thought, is what summer is.

Collie noticed him sitting on the bank alone and swam over. “You coming in?” he asked. Art shook his head. “Can you not swim?”

“I can swim,” Art answered. “It’s just… it’s too deep.” He could only see a foot or two below the water’s surface. Below that, darkness straight down. He could see Collie’s arms as he tread water, but the rest of him was obscured by the quarry water. Pete, Ray, and Abraham were just floating heads, bobbing and laughing a dozen yards from shore.

“Oh.” Collie pushed his wet hair out of his face. “I get that.” He braced his hands on the rock and lifted himself up out of the water, sitting next to Art. Art’s shirt sleeve was wet from where Collie’s arm touched his.

“You don’t have to stop swimming on account of me,” he said softly.

“Oh, it’s not on account of you,” Collie answered. “We have to dry off and eat anyways. I don’t know about the rest of them, but I don’t want to drive around for another four hours in wet shorts.”

They sat in companionable silence for a minute, Collie kicking his legs and churning up water. The droplets seemed to catch fire in the afternoon sunlight. “What bothers you about the water?” Collie asked, looking over at him. The heat of Collie’s arm was still heavy against his arm, but neither of them moved away. Art’s face burned with the proximity.

“I can’t see the bottom. I can swim fine,” Art explained. “But I don’t like it when I can’t see the bottom.” He almost wanted to add that no one knew what was down there, lurking below the reach of the sun. But that was the stuff of nightmares, and he didn’t want to seem stupid.

“We’ll have to find you a swimming pool, then,” Collie replied.

Art fixed him with a look. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No, I’m not making fun of you. I’m trying to be nice. I don’t make fun of you, you know. At least not, like, seriously.” He had a faintly hurt look in his eyes, like this was something he really wanted to get across.

Art answered that look with a smile. “A swimming pool sounds nice, then.”

“Good,” Collie said simply. He got up and walked over to where his clothes were discarded, and started getting dressed. Art averted his eyes. He called out to the three in the water, “Come on and get out now! We gotta hit the road soon to keep on schedule!”

“Don’t be so lame!” Pete shouted back, in the middle of dunking Ray under the water. Ray pushed him away, laughing.

“Dumbass, it’s your schedule,” Collie answered, sitting back down and ripping open the pack of beef jerky. “Get over here and eat your sandwiches.” The three reluctantly swam over and pulled themselves out of water, instead eating their lunch and drying under the sun. Art left his perch on the edge of the rock and went to sit with them.

They ate their sandwiches and drank from their water bottles, warming themselves in the sun and keeping an eye on the time. When it hit 1:00 PM, Collie got up and said, “Time to go, guys. Pete, you’re driving.” He tossed the keys, and Pete caught them cleanly.

“Aye aye, captain.” Pete gave a mock salute and started getting dressed. “Ray can sit up front with me. We’ll debut our playlist.”

“Can’t wait,” Collie grumbled.

As they left, Art looked back at the quarry one more time, at the murky depths and the glare it cast on the rock formations surrounding it. Then, he turned around and followed his friends through the trees.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I'm not sure if you've ever been asked this but (and this is totally ignoring all ethical questions)- do you think a yeerk could bring back Loren's memories from before the crash? They seem to have far more control of their host's memories than the hosts do...

First question: does Loren want her memories back?

Maybe this seems a little odd to ask, but… she’d be remembering a lot of pain and fear, maybe a few good-ish years where she’s with Elfangor or raising baby-Tobias, and a shitton of trauma.  Losing your (traumatic) memories can actually be good for you.  Psychiatrists are developing therapies using drugs and/or ECT to help patients with PTSD and phobias deliberately remove certain memories.  The minuscule number of participants who have successfully completed the still-experimental versions of these therapies have seen considerable upticks in quality of life.

Setting aside the science for the sci fi, it’s also notable that Loren does not regain her memories when she morphs.  We don’t know how morphing tech works precisely, of course, because it sometimes heals long-term damage and sometimes doesn’t.  But my headcanon has always been that it has to do with user motivation and self-image.  A couple examples:

Alloran still has battle scars even after morphing because he’s Mr. Old School Warrior Code, and considers them a point of pride.

Ax doesn’t develop battle scars during the war because he grows up in a constant state of siege as part of a team with a whatever-works mentality, and has little time for outdated conceptualizations of honor.

James’s nervous system starts working again after morphing because he wants to be nondisabled and sees himself that way.

Collette’s nervous system doesn’t start working again after morphing because she identifies as disabled and is happy that way.

Tobias can’t heal his broken wing with morphing in MM2 because he’s still new to morphing and struggling to break away from the predator mentality of “you get hurt, you tough it out or you die.”

Etcetera, etcetera.  If we take that explanation as given for the moment, then it’s pretty striking that morphing heals Loren’s eyes but not her memories.  She says outright that she didn’t want to take care of a kid, and doesn’t feel up to the responsibility of being a mother (#49).  She’s also had 95% bad experiences with aliens, between being abducted by everyone from skrit na to Chapman and being dragged into some intergalactic war multiple times.  Healing her eyes helps her get away from the ableism and underemployment facing most blind Americans; healing her memories doesn’t necessarily get her shit.  She may or may not make a choice somewhere in there.  And even if she doesn’t, there may simply be nothing left to find.

Second question: What would a yeerk know that Loren wouldn’t?

Yes, we see that yeerks read hosts’ memories.  And it’s true that (at the very least) Temrash 114 can choose which of Jake’s memories Jake will focus on at any given time.  However, we see no evidence whatsoever of yeerks having insight into hosts’ minds that the hosts themselves lack.  In fact, the opposite might even be true; there are several moments with Eva pointedly using knowledge about Edriss that Edriss herself lacks (Visser) but Edriss simply doesn’t get Eva, nor does Temrash ever start to understand Jake.  So if Loren doesn’t consciously remember these events, then there’s no sign that the yeerk would be able to do so either.

To swerve back into science: there’s also the fact that brains don’t “hide” memories that they’ve successfully stored.  If you can’t retrieve it, usually there’s nothing left to retrieve.  You can have a “feeling of knowing” about a test item and later have the answer come to you with no further prompting, but if you don’t even have that feeling, then you probably don’t have the answer stored anywhere in your noodle.  Contrary to media depictions of amnesia (*cough* MM1 *cough*), there’s no such thing as a cure for traumatic amnesia.  (Dissociative amnesia is another story, but I digress.)  Loren sustains a blow to the head, either through a car crash or a violent controller or a violent controller-caused car crash, and that’s where her memories go.  She tells Tobias that she had to re-learn how to swallow and brush her teeth afterward (#49).  Re-learn, not remember.  That’s a pretty accurate summation of traumatic brain injuries.  Once the skills are gone, they’re gone.  It turns out brains (probably) do grow new cells even through adulthood, and even hints of neurogenesis are SO FUCKING EXCITING for people like me who study brains.  But the fact remains that memories destroyed through trauma are usually, well, destroyed.

Quick personal example: when I was 16, I got a concussion.  How?  No idea, because the concussion itself caused me to forget how it happened.  I know I was skiing at the time — waking up on a ski slope with a dented-in helmet was a pretty strong context clue — but I’m never going to know if I misjudged a turn, slipped on ice, collided with a person, hit a tree, got struck by lightning (okay probably not that) or what.  My brain went into emergency shutdown mode after I did the equivalent of spilling a soda on its keyboard, and the Microsoft Word document I had open at the time (AKA my working memory) didn’t have time to convert to ROM (AKA go through my hippocampus into long-term storage) in the process.  What happens to Loren isn’t the equivalent of spilling a soda on one’s keyboard; it’s the equivalent of throwing the whole computer off a forty-foot building into the ocean.  A skilled IT tech and a hell of a lot of work might get that thing running again, but if you think there’s a chance in hell that the family photos stored on your hard drive are gonna be found and restored, then you’ve got another think coming.

Tl;dr: Given what we know about real brains and about Your Brian on Morphing, I’m not convinced that a yeerk could help Loren if she even wanted help.

[bluewithpurplepolkadots]

I love ATLA and am currently right in the middle of book 2 in my rewatch but honestly it’s kind of sad because I’m also re-reading some Harry Potter at the same time.

Deathly Hallows is a story where the trio have to travel both in the magical and muggle world instead of remaining in Hogwarts. It was a risky move for a tried and true formula (even if book six was shaky). But it still could have been good instead of the boring load it ultimately was. 

We could have had the trio really explore the Wizarding world. We could  perhaps have seen things we only ever got told about second hand in earlier books and even met people. Maybe even make the whole Beaubaxtons and Drumstrang inclusion in Book 4 mean something if they’d dipped their toe elsewhere outside of Britain. It could have been great. They even mentioned Voldemort getting a horcrux from abroad. (The diadem). Why not pursue that.

Instead we’re stuck in a tent with them poking mushrooms. And in fact the most interesting story was apparently at Hogwarts anyway despite us leaving it.

Oh such wild joy.

We do get some things outside the boring camping trip- like the gringotts break-in attempt and the horrible trials against muggleborns. There’s also brief random interlude of snatchers. 

Like the ministry plan was frustrating because it seems like Hermione and Ron do all the work and Harry watches but at least it wasn’t dull. But like could we not have had the trio run into and help I don’t know, some people who are smuggling muggleborns/blood traitors and their families off to wizarding France or something instead of them sitting and doing fuck all in a tent. It also means that whole snatchers scene and being taken to Malfoy manor would feel less random and contrived. You know if they were doing things against them or had to pursue them after people are captured.

Also: a reason ATLA worked so well was because of the amazing friendships formed in the group and how their losses affected them: but also because we saw a world which was interesting, full of other people and seemed worth saving. It was complicated and messy and in the grips of a long war and also felt real. Harry Potter’s Wizarding World? Not even close. We’re stuck with Hogwarts being fleshed out properly and that’s about it. But even some places in ATLA which were only around for one episode still felt real and important- at least to the people who lived in it. They were places that could exist and you’d feel invested in  as you visited them. Were there some duds in ATLA? Sure. (Hi Avatar Day). But overall this seemed to be true at least 95% of the time. There was quite often someone to connect with or be interested in outside of the main band. Even if just for a little while.

If Wizarding Britain is (apparently) bereft of ideas: you could have Hermione find out that Beaubaxton’s or Drumstrang’s library has the potential book they need to perhaps figure out how to destroy horcruxes or something or perhaps set them on the right path. They go there. Or maybe they have to contend with continental europe’s folklore and creatures. Maybe this book’s location is the wild clue Dumbledore leaves rather than that whole useless deathly hallows thing. Hermione went to effing wizarding france in the early books. She probably knows french too. Malfoy is a french word meaning bad faith. Voldemort is basically a french word too. The diadem was in eastern europe for a time. All this stuff could have meant something. When there perhaps they find baslisk venom is the thing (instead of Hermione knowing straight off before the adventure) and that maybe in cool damp conditions basilisk venom lasts a long time. Off to hogwarts and the chamber they go! Then we get to see some (just a glimpse) of hogwarts as they get the fangs instead of obsessing over the sword (which only is an option thanks to basilisk venom guys!!) like losers. We have the whole locket scene happen in the chamber and it’s like a creepy retell of the chamber. Have GINNY stab the damn thing like as her catharsis and revenge perhaps while Harry is utterly overtaken by what it says.

Other ideas:

Have the trio at points learn things that war perhaps shows them. Like maybe a similar lesson which can be learned in the episode Jet. That the enemy of your enemy isn’t always a friend and also maybe what being a traitor really means in so many ways in this world where people are being snatched out of their beds and families broken apart. There may even be some jerks on their side like those earth kingdom soldiers who bully a town in Zuko alone. Who knows.

Basically an over-reaching arc with smaller stories wouldn’t have been a bad idea for this sort of book. It would have stopped things becoming so unspeakably dull.

And hell, just like in ATLA, sometimes they might just be passing through a place or a character was only around for one episode but they felt like real people with real problems. Maybe a nice family takes them in even for a time! (Make it a nice muggle family with no magical connections for bonus points who just see these three kids in need. I could imagine a rather bewildering middle of the book which seems like some peace before the oncoming storm) Perhaps there are consequences to that. Perhaps they have to be saved. Hell have a muggle kill a death eater! It would be cool!

It’s a book about wizards. We were never going to get a Sokka but could we at least get something like that kid Zuko meets in Zuko Alone. Or the freedom fighters and Jet. Or even that ignorant if well meaning earth king. A well prepared non-bender can take down a bender. Can’t see why muggles can’t do the same.

Hell have them run into Nicholas Flamel who is on his last bit of stone juice or something. Something from the first book. Maybe he knows how to break horcruxes because he’s looked into immortality routes in great detail and threw that idea away as a bad idea for a variety of reasons he’s keen to disclose. I know it’s utterly random but I don’t care. 

Do something!!! Anything!!! Instead of sitting on your ass saying you won’t do X because of Y. Hell seeing someone try a plan and fail is more fun then having them sit on their ass and explain why not.

There’s so many things that could have happened in a wizarding world travelogue where the villain despises those without magic and yet what happens is so boring.

[keenge]

I was holding her in my arms when the phone rang ... "It's 3:30 in the fucking morning this had better be important !!!" I said losing the dream. " Mat, it's T and I really do hate to bother you, but I think he is back," said my partner and best friend Theresa McCawley , " Beat patrol found her body about 30 minutes ago, down by the docks." " I'll be there in 15 minutes Teri. " and I hung up, got dressed and locked my door and left the house. My name is Mathias MacGregor and I have been a cop in Riverside, La. most of my adult life, was born and raised there, and the man my partner was referring to is known as the Dock Master ... this is our story.

It all started when a young girl, 16, was found beaten raped, brutally tortured and murdered on the East dock 8 years ago. Since then he has left 12 more bodies and so many unanswered questions it makes me sick. He had a calling card, my initials carved into the victims foreheads, a detail the press miraculously has never found out about.

It's been a year since he struck the last time, a year since he put a bullet into my chest and I put one into his leg and back, a year filled with pain rehab and booze and me tracking the few clues he has left behind.

The second victim was found less than a week after the first and it was the pathologist that mentioned the letters ... my name isn't well known outside the department and certainly not my middle initial, so it was obvious that a message was being sent since a letter arrived for me at the lab while we were waiting for the autopsy report.

She had been beaten and raped like the first girl but the torture was different, not by much, but enough to see the bastard knew what he was doing and was good at it, a beat cop brought me the letter having signed for it from a courier. Inside was my full name a description of both victims including marks left by the torture and one sentence, "These are only the beginning."

That was 8 years and 10 victims ago, but god it feels like a lifetime. I got close a year ago because he made one mistake, just one but it was enough to trap him. We just weren't prepared for the fight he put up, 2 officers dead, 3 more including myself wounded and a shit ton of publicity asking why we havent caught him. " Mat, the call went out on a cell and came straight to me, they know the rules." This is why I adore my partner and best friend, Teri can read me like a book.

There had been calls made over the radios for the first 4 victims but, after the 3rd and 4th had my initials on their foreheads as well as the first 2, we decided anymore would go out over special phones we had made for our department.

Don't get me wrong I don't hate the press, I just don't have much use for them to be honest. They twist words and actions and typically report only what they want.

After the first 4 victims they were already calling him the Dock Master, even though we had begged them not to, we had learned from other cities giving a serial killer a name tends to make them bolder and more ... violent.

"Do we have an I.D. on her yet?" I asked of nobody in particular, "No lieutenant, but she doesn't look like a typical street kid." I walked over knelt down and pulled the sheet back from her face, OH MOTHERFUCKER" I yelled, making everyone jump and turn towards me, " This is Mayor Thompson's daughter!!!" Teri looked at me with wide eyes and for the first time since the shooting last year I saw fear in her face.

Every single cop in Riverside knew Jesse Thompson, she was the city's darling because she was pretty and had a voice like an angel.

"Are you sure Mat" Teri asked in a hoarse whisper, "She is supposed to be in Chicago for the Cheerleading competition." "Yeah, I'm sure T, he didnt damage her face, except to leave his mark" I said, "I'll make the notification myself and meet you at the lab."

When I got to the lab I had a grim sense of satisfaction tempered with a pity I never thought I'd ever feel for the man i was sure was the biggest crook in our small part of the world. After the shooting, our esteemed Mayor, in his infinite wisdom, took to the press (see above opinions) and made us seem like the Keystone Kops.

I was personally accused of mishandling the evidence and the investigation and causing the deaths and injuries of my friends and comrades.

"Doc says it will be tomorrow before her report is ready Mat, go home and get some sleep for what it's worth, I'll go to the office then head home myself" said Teri when I walked through the doors. "Come by the house when your done at the office if you want T, we could both use some stress relief about now" I said with a sad smile. " You still have your key, I'll be in the shower and you can join of you want." She smirked hugged me and whispered " Only if you promise to be a little rough" and walked away towards the exit.

Teri and I have known each other for 25 yrs and it wasn't until 3 yrs ago that either of us ever really thought about being anything but friends, as strange as that sounds, we were both either with someone or only one of us was single or whatever the case may be but it took that long, but damn it was worth the wait.

When she got to my house I was in the shower as promised, as she came into the bathroom I could tell she had been crying, so I stood under the water waiting for her to decide what she was going to do, as she stepped in I grabbed her, pushed her against the wall, and fell to my knees in front of her, grabbed her thighs and pushed them apart.

I slid my tongue into her wet slit, flicking her clit, as I grabbed her breasts with my hands and played with her nipples. "OH MY GOD YES" she yelled, as I gently sucked her clit into my mouth, and rubbed it between my upper and lower teeth, as she came she grabbed my hair pulling me up and said "FUCK ME NOW"

As we were in the tub she shoved me down, grabbed me in her hand and squeezed, as she stroked slowly smiling at me, then swung her leg over and lowered herself onto my face, allowing me to find her clit and lips with my tongue, as she took me in her mouth, and slowly licked and sucked up and down my manhood, while I was licking and sucking her womanhood until she finished on my face and in my mouth,"God that feels amazing" she said letting me out of her mouth, she turned and rolling onto her back, pulled me over with her and taking me in her hand she guided me inside of her slowly, squeezing and caressing me inch by inch until I was all the way in, then she wrapped her legs around me, looked into my eyes, and said "Fuck me as hard as you can". So I did, and we both came, her at least 2 more times as I filled her with mine, then I slid down her body and proceeded to lick and suck her clean, making her cum again, then I picked her up and held her in my arms as she cried again, I held her till she was finished , then we laid down on the bed, and went to sleep snuggled together, in what would be the last decent sleep we would get for almost 6 months.

When we woke up that afternoon we didnt say much, just cleaned up and headed back to the lab where the coroner, Gina Dubois, was waiting with her report. " This is a bad one Mat, he has added to his repertoire. She died due to almost total exsanguination ... she lost about 95% of her total blood volume. But before she died he hurt her bad, I counted 146 broken bones, almost every single muscle, tendon and ligament was either stretched or torn, she was beaten worse than the rest ... " , she paused and I could feel the anger and frustration radiating from her, "She was raped repeatedly with a sharp double edged weapon both vaginally and analy, then he forced salt inside of her with a large rounded blunt object about 10 inches in diameter ... he tore her open inside so bad that even if she had been in a hospital she would have died!" " He also raped her and left fluids behind which we are analyzing now, but there is something else ..." and again she paused. "What is it Gina?" Asked Teri. Gina still hesitated, then finally spoke. "He left something else behind inside of her, a letter addressed to Mat" she said, " The letter is in my office since I haven't logged it into evidence yet." "Gina, what are you hiding?" I asked, "Not logging evidence is not like you, and you are kinda worrying me right now." "Fucking A and you should be worried, Mat he knows your full name, not just the goddamned initials, he knows you almost intimately," she said, "You don't even have your middle name listed officially anywhere, I know, I checked, so how the hell does he know so much about you?" Now I am not the kind of person that gives out my personal information to anyone, so for the bastard to know so much... " Gina, Teri, I swear I don't know, only 5 or 6 people know that name, there is a fucking reason I don't use it," I said, "The man that raped my mother and got her pregnant, he ... he kept tabs on her, and when she went into labor he followed her to the fucking hospital, and after I was born, he just walked in proud as you fucking please, and added a name to my birth certificate, my middle name... God I hate the name, but I have used what happened to her to become the cop I am, my middle name is, Dubois..." I heard Gina and Teri both draw in sharp breaths as they digested what I had just told them. I went into Gina's office and found the letter, and walked outside debating on who could know my full name, and hate me enough to do this kind of fucked up bullshit in my city.

Teri caught up to me as I was getting in my truck, "Mat" she began, "I am so sorry, you never told me anything about your childhood or growing up with what happened to you. But it doesn't change who you are, you are still my partner and goddammnit I need you to be at your best because this fucker is killing children in our city and he almost got you, so snap the fuck out of what ever funk your in and let's get to work and catch this maniac!" Leave it to Teri to put it so plainly and yet so perfectly, " Ok, T, your right, we need to go to the hospital so I can talk to Ashley, she needs to know about the letter." The letter! I hadn't even looked at it yet, and suddenly I was afraid to! Before I go too much further let me explain a bit more... Ashley Wise was the doctor that operated on me and the other cops that were wounded in the failed attempt to catch this bastard, but more importantly she is my baby sister.

"She is one of the very few people that know my full name so I need to talk to her ASAP."

I now my grammar and punctuation is atrocious but bear with me it is a work in progress

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 WORST Movies Of 2018!

As everyone is talking about their favorite and least favorite films of last year, I’d much rather take a look at what came out two years ago! This is what I do every New Year, get used to it. And keep in mind that I haven’t seen every film from 2018, so as bad as I’m sure Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim: Uprising are, I haven’t gotten around to them. If you’d like a list of every film I have seen, I have them listed on my Letterboxd: https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1HnDnQ4ibO82ryM9lOCGgw1FZhVLdC4SZ

#10. Fifty Shades Freed On my 2015 list, I didn’t even bother putting Fifty Shades Of Grey on it because I thought it was absolutely hilarious! On my 2017 list, I placed Fifty Shades Darker at the very top for its lack of even the basics of what makes a decent flick, notably there being no real plot. So I guess I’m meeting this franchise in the middle by putting Fifty Shades Freed at the tenth spot for just how batshit this movie is. Shit kinda just happens randomly with little to no reason while also not being funny in the slightest. In fact, large segments of the film is kinda boring, particularly the sex scenes in which there are so many that by the 20th time, you’d just get used to it like a jump scare in Winchester. Really, the biggest reason this is only at #10 is because Fifty Shades Freed has Freed us all from this series, assuming that a film adaptation of Grey isn’t made. And that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to one of these movies. #9. A Wrinkle In Time I once heard someone justify Disney’s live action remakes by saying they help fund their more unique film escapades like Nutcracker And The Four Realms (which barely didn’t make the list). The problem with that is that I don’t want those ether! And considering how Solo and The Rise Of Skywalker turned out, maybe Disney’s live action department should just stick with Marvel movies. Honestly, I don’t completely remember why I left the theater after seeing A Wrinkle In Time so angry, like legitimately pissed off. I remember the girl who looks like one of the Mean Girls being treated like a member of the Losers Club, how terrible the child acting was, how even worse the adult acting was, how annoying everybody who wasn’t Chris Pine was, and how that little kid was named Charles Wallace because the characters said it at least a million times! Considering how angry I am just writing about it, I’m guessing it was a combination of all of those elements being wrapped up with a pretentious bow. Honestly, A Wrinkle In Time was a humongous waste of my time. #8. Show Dogs It’s a bad sign when the movie starring Bojack Horseman yelling at Ludacris dog is only at #8 on my list. The big reason for that is because this is so terrible that I had to break down laughing at times. Not because Show Dogs is genuinely or ironically funny, it’s just so batshit insane that I had to laugh. Almost like a defense reflex: like if I wasn’t laughing, I’d end up jumping off the roof. The plot is crazy, the acting is crazy, the whole fucking idea is crazy! I’d like you to stop and imagine Will Arnett with the straightest face possible yelling at a dog voiced by Ludacris that nobody can actually hear in the middle of a very serious police station about the dog fucking up an undercover job and somehow not laughing your ass off. That is what it was like watching Show Dogs. You’re welcome. #7. Slender Man I think people really downgrade how good horror has been lately. I know that in a world of Insidious: The Last Key and Truth Or Dare, it’s easy to be pessimistic. And I think people also dismiss the greatness the internet has had on modern pop culture. Considering how bad things like Daphne And Velma and Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle are, I kinda get it. In reality, these tend to be the outliers among a lot of greatness, but after seeing Slender Man, I’m starting to think similarly. I was one of the only people who was actually excited about this movie because I’m young enough to remember a time when Slender Man: The Eight Pages was the scariest thing in the world and after seeing how well Hollywood treated the character in Beware The Slender Man, I was really hopeful. Little did I know that Madhouse Entertainment had one of the least interesting and least scary horror movies I’ve ever seen with boring characters, a monster that’s barely in the movie, and a script that’s closer to Rings than it is to its source material. I really hope this’ll go the way of Ouija and Annabelle and end up having a really good followup or else Slender Man will be a huge blot on the legitimacy of the internet. #6. Snake Outta Compton I’m gonna be straight with y’all, I have been doing a pretty bad job at keeping up with horror B-movies lately. I mean, I did watch The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time and Leprechaun Returns but those were mostly just mediocre, even within the context of the rest of their franchises. So when I saw the title Snake Outta Compton, I knew I had to watch it expecting something really stupid and funny as all hell. Instead I got a boring and uninteresting barely even an attempt at cinema. I really hated this film, it’s just such a boringly dull film where little to nothing ever happens and I hated every dumb second of it. The terrible rapping, the awful effects, the horrendous acting, everything in snake Outta Compton sucks and I hate it. #5. Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom Remember that god awful polar bear movie starring Rob Schneider from a few years ago… yeah, they made four of those. Normal people would say the first Norm Of The North was the absolute bottom of the barrel, I say “No!… It’s Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom,” and even more suicidal people would probably say it’s Norm Of The North: King Sized Adventure. If you thought the animation in the original was bad, you’ve seen nothing! This is so bad that I’m not even sure it should be considered animation! This is so bad that it makes Duck Duck Goose look like The Grinch! This is so bad that they couldn’t even get Rob Schneider back! The plot, it’s like this is one of those straight to DVD Disney sequels that were made up of episodes of conceled TV shows except why would anyone try to make Norm Of the FUCKING North into a TV show! But apparently it made money considering how (and I’ll repeat this again) there are four of these! Maybe the immense failure of Arctic Dogs will stop Entertainment Studios from making any more. #4. The Thinning: New World Order Speaking of sequels that’ll make the originals look like masterpieces, we’ve got Logan Paul’s magnum opus, coming straight outta that Japanese suicide forest. A film that tells you that a country made up of the smartest 95% of citizens are stupid enough to not catch on to the pretty obvious government plan going on in this universe. Even more so, apparently presidents to be are allowed to just make major laws that’ll arrest about 50% of the population before being sworn in as president. But even more so, I’m to believe that Logan Paul of all people is smart enough to escape these poorly conceived concentration camps. This is a key example of suspension of disbelief gone too far. I don’t believe for a second that this world actually could exist. And I want everyone reading this to remember The Thinning: New World Order after seeing what I put at number one that even liberals can make terrible movies too! #3. The 15:17 To Paris No shit, this is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. No joke, no sarcasm, the Clint Eastwood trainwreck that is The 15:17 To Paris is by far one of the worst movies of the decade… and it’s only at #3 on my bottom 10 of the year. Let me explain. Where the absolute bottom of the barrels of the year are total slogs that I wouldn’t be able to stand watching again, this is actually really fun to watch. Immediately after seeing it in theaters, I wanted to see it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fever dream. In every conversation I have, I recommend this movie because it has to be seen to be believed. Of all the films on this list, this is the only one I’d actually recommend to people. No other film has the balls to portray three normies with ADD talking as boringly as possible taking selfies in Venice for 30 minutes for no goddamn reason. In no other movie will you see a bunch of comedians try and do serious roles that they had no right being casted in. When I went back to school and brought this up with my film nerd friends, every one of them had a different story of watching this. My god, please watch The 15:17 To Paris so that we can convince Clint Eastwood into making The 15:18 To Paris. #2. Gotti Let me tell ya, Gotti is one of the wurst felms ya’ll evar see! Who in da hell convinced John Travolta that he culd do serious roles! But in all seriousness, this movie sucks. I’m not super familiar with the story of John Gotti, and by that I mean I’ve never even heard the name before seeing this film. And I’m pretty sure that to even get what’s going on in this, you’d have to see a 3 hour documentary on the guy beforehand or else you’d be incredibly confused the entire time because I know I was! Don’t even ask me what happens in Gotti because I have no clue. It goes all over the place with different characters doing different things at different points in time and eventually, I stopped paying attention! I do remember that there were about 20 characters named “John,” John Gotti only kills one guy though I’m pretty sure that as a mob boss he’d kill more, and I have no idea how this mafia makes money. Oh, and this convicted feline is apparently also Jesus Christ. I’ll tells yas, ya can live 100 yeers an neva see a moovy as bad as Gotti. Before we get to #1, let’s do some runners up!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I wanted so bad to put this on the list because as a pretty big Jurassic Park fan, I can fairly say that Fallen Kingdom is easily the worst film in the franchise. If only because of that dumb ass twist at the end with that kid I kinda forgot even existed. Or just for those annoying ass comedic reliefs that are consistently useless. Or just because on a base filmmaking level, this movie sucks. Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate Listen, I’m openly and proudly bisexual, so I get how important it is to get good representation out there in the film industry. And I also get why a lot of the Ru Paul: Drag Race fandom has latched onto this series. But Jesus Christ guys, drag queens can do better and they deserve better. From Russia With Hate is definitely a step in the right direction with it being way more interesting and fun than the first Hurricane Bianca… but come on guys! These aren’t good movies! Just watch more Drag Race, it’s much better. The Happytime Murders Disney, please let Muppets Now be good! The puppetry artform deserves better than this garbage! The Happytime Murders is a movie in which half the jokes is that a puppet is jizzing a lot. Honestly, my biggest beef with this film is that it doesn’t even get to the heart of what people love about the Jim Henson style of puppetry, notably the fun. Look at most of the cast, they are very humanoid compared to Kermit The Frog or Fozzy Bear. This movie is, first and foremost, not fun. Bob Lazar: Area 51 And Flying Saucers This is my nomination for worst documentary of the year. It’s just annoying to me that this guy can get away with lying to so many people without any repercussions. In fact, he gets this whole documentary that’s basically sucking his dick the entire time! I went in expecting something along the lines of Behind The Curve, a doc that takes an even stance at looking at its crazy subject matter but in a respectful way. In reality, Area 51 And Flying Saucers isn’t even in the slightest being totally on Bob Lazar’s side without questioning his all knowing wisdom for a second and is n’t respectful in the slightest for the intelligence of its viewers! Fuck this doc! A Simple Favor This is my nomination for best worst movie of the year. A Simple Favor is a crazy film with a cast and crew taking it weirdly seriously for a comedy, all with super monotone voices. None of the actual jokes are genuinely funny but lots of them are ironically hilarious. Granted I was very high while watching this, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best state of mind to be in while watching it! And did I mention how nobody acts during this but rather just say their lines monotonely! Loved it! God’s Not Dead: A Light In Darkness This was the year Christian propaganda got boring. I was so excited when I went to see I Can Only Imagine in theaters as my first theatrical Christian film experience only to be totally disappointed when it turned out to be pretty dull. Even more so when, later on in the year, the newest installment in the world famous God’s Not Dead franchise, the same one that first brought upon this new age of Christian based filmmaking that’s brought me so much joy before, turned out to be similarly dull. There was a split moment when a character states, “Jesus Christ was the original social justice warrior,” when I was brought back to life with its own stupidity, but it turned out to be fleeting. Not outrageous enough to be put on the list, but too outrageous to be any good. So this is how God’s Not Dead ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. The Meg And speaking of boring, The Meg has to be the most boring shark movie ever made. A film that feels like it lasts for days and in which no real stakes feel like are in play. This has got to be the most boring and dull and uninteresting and BORING movie of the year! And considering how boring of a year it was for film, that’s saying a goddamn lot! Mary Poppins Returns I feel like I went through an arc of my own while watching this. I went from, “this isn’t bad,” to, “okay, this is a little too much like the original,” to, “why the fuck am I watching this?” Mary Poppins Returns feels like one of the Disney live action remakes because it’s basically just a shittier version of the original with absolutely no good reason to exist let alone to watch, especially compared to said original. And the climax makes absolutely no sense with the logic of the film universe; she can literally fly! And by god, does this feel like anything but Mary Poppins. Blockers Listen, I get that this film is sex positive and that’s a really great thing and all the actors are really trying their best. But it is all in vain for this film with a really unfunny script and that’s kinda important for a comedy. Sometimes Blockers can get a chuckle out of me because of how over the top it can get at times but those are just outliers in a mostly mediocre movie that got built up too much because of how much positivity is in this. Proud Mary Proud Mary is the perfect example of a film in which just because someone can do it well, doesn’t mean everyone can. Ever since Quentin Tarantino has been making movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, throw back action films have been really cool to see. Then, all of a sudden, the director of London Has Fallen had to come around and remind everyone that they can’t all be winners. Mostly dull dialogue between characters I don’t care about waiting for the action that isn’t even all that good. I was really hopeful that Proud Mary would be fun, but it’s anything but. #1. The Trump Prophecy Listen, I get that when I say that a movie literally titled The Trump Prophecy is the worst film of the year, it comes off as if I’m making a big political statement but believe me, I am not. Politically, admittedly, I am pretty liberal but I’m not really a political dude. But I do know terrible filmmaking when I see it, and believe it or not, a film about a crazy firefighter who gets a vision in his sleep from a god orb that Donald Trump must be president might not be very good. In fact, fuck this cynical, piece of shit, taking advantage of conservatives, monotonely acted, with no love or passion put into it, goddamn movie! As much as I didn’t like any of the movies I’ve mentioned on this list, it’s clear someone, anyone, was passionate about making them. But considering how clearly the director never asked any of his actors to do a second take, no love is clearly put into this. How cynical, how shameless. As someone who does genuinely love the art of filmmaking and would adore the opportunity to make a relatively big budget movie myself, the fact that something as lifeless as The Trump Prophecy gets to be put into any theaters really pisses me off. Say what you want about The 15:17 To Paris, at least it had its heart in the right place. Say what you want about Gotti, at least John Travolta was obviously passionate about the project. This has nothing and is easily the most hatable film I’ve seen in years!