#BAD PUNS ARE PART OF CANON

[triglycercule]

i love seeing the love that au creators have for the og undertale,,,,,, like you can see it in the way that SAS balances the pacing and characterization of og undertale with horrortale's themes and story direction!!!! you can see it in the several tweets calvateyla has just rambling about sans and undertale its so amazing and heartwarming to me 😭😭😭 like that's how i know that these aus were made with love and care for the creativity of the og game and added onto it with their own creativity ITS SO SWEET!!!! ITS SO SWEET!!!!!!

[bisexualalistairtheirin]

Deep Roads Shortcut and Skip The Fade aren't even mods in my mind anymore... they are like siblings to me.

[braisedhoney]

So you said a while ago underfell was your favorite au before. Is that still true or?

Also who’s your favorite character from whatever au you like?

damn, you were around for that? :'D

yeah, underfell used to be my favorite! i think it was smth about being really edgy as a kid, or maybe it was because red was my favorite color. idk man, even now i gotta admit those designs slap really hard.

i'm not really sure if i have a favorite au now though. i do have some ideas for underfell that i like, but i think i see the appeal of most aus bc i just like making new scenarios.

i like the big three a lot (classic, fell, swap). sans is my favorite in classic (predictable i know) if you're not counting gaster, since he isn't technically a canon character. i like both fell paps and fell sans equally, and swap paps is cool. i'd be buddies with that guy.

(i also really like asgore in undertale. the tragedy of the grief-stricken ruler who kills even though it's against his nature for the freedom of his people but also because he's long past convinced he's in too deep is really compelling to me, and by proxy i'm interested in the theoretical stories of all the fallen humans including frisk. also the whole thing with their broken family and chara and—

—whoops the ask is about aus not canon lmao, sorry!)

[analyticallyminded]

i always forget about the jack black version of king kong

[thebibliosphere]

I was just playing gotham knights again and noticed some passive dialog regarding Babs having a back brace, which is at least acknowledging that there was damage done, but I'm a little sad for the loss of some really cool disability representation. What are your feelings on her (and on a similar note Batman's) miraculous recovery from paralysis in DC?

I think Gotham Knights handled her disability fairly well, considering this is a universe where magic, nanobots, and puddles of evil green goo that can heal the dead exist. All things considered, it would have been very easy for them to either erase it entirely or just handwave and say, "She worked really hard and got better," as previous iterations of the canon have done.

Because she did work hard and get better, but the hard work is ongoing because they depict her issues as chronic.

She's got a limp (it's the most obvious in her Talon suit with no cape in the way), which means she can't rely on speed or high kicks like the others can (I mean, she can kick, but it's her slowest motion, and until you max out her suit, it's the most liable to get her thrown to the ground), so she falls back on precision and her tech.

Jason punches for maximum pain, Dick moves with dizzying speed, and Tim's gonna sneak up on you and drop you like a rock, but Babs is going for the pressure points with ruthless precision. Not to mention her drones.

The conversation with Tim, realizing she might need help boosting her suit to compensate for her pain/strength issues, is a nice little way of making the player aware that she's got these ongoing problems because, honestly, a casual observer could mistake her back brace for athleisure wear if they didn't recognize the shape of it. It's also a good way of throwing in some exposition about how she's still going to physical rehab and that her PT would like her to "wean off" her back brace, but because her PT doesn't know her actual job as a vigilante, Barbara admits she can't and is essentially finding ways to manage her own care and create her own accommodations. Accommodations which they are all shown to be willing to help with.

It's a nice little touch when superhero narratives tend to revolve around self-sacrifice to the point of self-destruction. Alfred giving Dick into trouble for pushing himself too far and hiding injuries is a nice touch, too, even if it's like trying to bail water on the Titanic with a teacup.

I also like that not only do you see her wheelchair lurking around the Belfry—along with the disability adaptations they put in place, like the ramps, the wheelchair elevator, and the desks that move up and down to wheelchair height—but that she also still uses her chair from time to time.

[ID a screenshot from Gotham Knights showing the Belfry. Light streams in through a giant clockface, showcasing a bank of computer screens. In front of the screen, Barbara Gordon is using her wheelchair as Dick Grayson stands behind her, probably making a bad pun.]

Whether she's using it because she's tired or simply because it's more comfortable than the computer chair is never revealed. Nor is it brought up or commented on. It's just something that's normal for Barbara to do, and I like that. I like that it's normal. It's not a part of herself she's trying to erase. She works with it, not against it.

Is it perfect? No. Do they outright erase her disability like so many of the comics are guilty of? Also, no. I'd argue that, in fact, they kept her disability. They just changed the nature of it.

Barbara now has a dynamic disability, one which fluctuates and requires different management based on her day-to-day (or night) activity. She's in active treatment for it and will be for the rest of her life. Are some of the physical feats she achieves realistic for someone with an injury of her nature? Not really, but again, this is a world where nobody stays dead, and there are zombie assassins coming out of the walls. I'll take the attention to detail and care they put into her story any day over the "Willpower Fixed My Spine" narrative we could have gotten.

As for Bruce getting healed by magic, again, it's Batman. Comic book logic is wibbly-wobbly at the best of times, and realistically speaking, they couldn't leave Batman paralyzed. His whole deal revolves around being stealthy and punching the shit out of people. He wouldn't be Batman anymore, and frankly, I don't trust the comic writers as far as I could throw them to handle that right.

By contrast, the Gotham Knights writers handled Barbara with much more care and nuance than I ever expected. And I'm thankful for that.

---

*I also like that both Dick and Barbara are often shown wearing joint braces. Dick's are especially reminiscent of the way gymnasts and people with hypermobility tape their joints to reduce pain and prevent injuries. It's a nice little touch. They're not invincible. Their bodies hurt. They're just like me but with money and much bigger problems like giant killer robots and zombie assassins.

[nerdygirlramblings]

Off to See the Wizard (3)

previous | next

tw: canon-typical violence, bad accents

"Wut?" Simon stutters, in a voice you've never heard before. You've been on comms with him when missions have gone to shit, and he has never sounded as nervous as he does right now.

"It's just-" You huff out a breath. Why does this have to be so hard? Usually conversation flows with Simon like a stream over rocks, smooth and unhurried. "It seems like you're upset. You looked like you wanted to hide when John introduced us, and now..." You let the sentence trail off. "Where's the man who, two weeks back, spent watch sharing the worst puns I've ever heard?"

Simon looks at you, finally meeting your eyes, before glancing quickly away. "I dunno wha' 'cher talkin' about," he mumbles.

You can't help but snort in response. "That's such bullshit, Simon! You forget I've heard you lie before," you remind him. "You're usually much better than this."

Simon's mask twitches and you glimpse little laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. You think maybe he's smiling a little behind the mask.

You decide to push your luck, knowing your Simon is stuck somewhere in this man who seems to sit so uneasily in his place. So you smile and say, "Go ahead and give me another."

Simon holds your gaze a few moments longer than last time and mutters you, "I don' like change."

You keep your eyes on his, on the parts of his face you can see, and on the way his hands are twitching against the table top. "Liar." You're grinning at him now.

Simon flattens his hands against the table and leans forward a little bit. Lowering his voice, he says, "We don' need help."

"Eeeh!" You make a buzzer sound and tell him, "Wrong answer, but thanks for playing." He chuckles like you're used to, low and dark. "I've seen the same intel you have, and you're going to want me on the other side of those comms."

This time he looks at you and holds your gaze. "Yer right, Oz. We will."

You're so shocked at the first honest response from him you don't know what to do. You gape at him for a moment, unsure of what to expect next, when he floors you again.

Simon looks down at the table and, so quietly you think you misheard, says, "Yer prettier 'an I thought you'd be. An' I knew you'd be pretty."

You're saved from having to respond at all as Kyle, Soap, and John finally come back with food.

"Scran's nae bad teday," Soap says, sliding a tray in front of you. You mumble out your thanks and catch John looking between you and Simon. You hope he can't see how nervous you are. Simon's posture gives nothing away, which might be his biggest tell right now.

"Solid copy, Ghost?" John asks him, and he merely grunts as he digs into his food.

The rest of your day is spent going back over the information you have. Laswell agreed with your idea for transport, so you spend a few hours arranging something both more discreet and reliable, calling in a favor or two in her name.

By the time dinner rolls around, you have given yourself no less than a dozen pep talks about your interaction with Simon at lunch. You've played out a million different scenarios and finally opted to take your cues from him.

You don't have long to wait as he and Soap come to your office at 6:30. He stands back and lets Soap do most of the talking, which he does all the way to the barracks. When you get there, you give him a quizzical look. "I don't know the base well, but isn't the mess the other way?"

Soap's smile borders on feral. "Aye, but Cap'n decided, 'cuz a yer bein 'ere, to take ye off base tonight." Beside him, you catch Simon's eye and the eye roll he gives to Soap's back.

"Cap'n jus' wan'ed tuh show ya some 'a the city, seein' as you'll be here instead 'a home when we're gone." He finishes quietly. Seems like no one is happy when reminded the whole reason you're here is to support them while they're gone.

Simon unlocks the barracks and ushers you in, following behind with a gentle hand on your lower back. Now three of your boys have made the same unconscious motion. When will Soap? "We're gonna head out in 20. Tha enough time fer ya ta get ready?" he asks.

You look at him and Soap and notice they're dressed in civvies. You're not sure how you missed that detail before because now that you really look, it's clear they've cleaned up and changed since lunch. "Twenty should be fine. I mean, it's not fancy, right?"

Soap winks at you, "Nah. Ya look perfect already, bon. Yoo could go as ya are 'n be feen."

You pause, smile frozen on your face. You don't know how to take that compliment , so you stammer, "Uh, thanks. I'll just..." You point towards your room. "Meet you in the rec room?"

Simon nods, and you walk away. You hear a light thump and an "Oi, Lt, wha' was tha' fer?" as your door closes.

It turns out John's idea of a tour of the town is more about how to get off base and where not to go alone. "Unfortunately, can' let ya borrow a military ride, Oz. Yer not cleared for 'em." So instead he shows you where to catch the bus - "ne'er do a ride share. Can' have 'em on base" - and where some key places in town are. "Asda's gunna have e'rything ya need 's far as snacks 'n toiletries. An' if ya want food tha's not from the mess, pick somethin' over 'ere," he says, sweeping his arm to the streets northwest of where the bus would drop you.

He doesn't take his own advice though, parking in a lot several blocks south and taking everyone to a pub bearing the name The Dancing Bear. The others walk ahead of you and John. Clearly this is a place they've been before.

As you follow the group into the space, the man behind the bar calls out to John who simply raises a open hand. You watch the man's eyebrows rise while he looks over the group, finally landing on you. You can't quite interpret the look he gives John, but he points to a table towards the back. You notice it's nestled in an area not immediately viewable from the door but with a line of sight to most of the room. As they had at lunch, Simon and John take up positions along the wall where they can see almost everything. Kyle and Soap are sat next to John and Simon respectfully, which leaves you to take the seat between the two sergeants.

You hear heavy steps come up behind you, and while your first instinct is to tense - you completely understand why soldiers and cops try to not put their backs to a room - no one you're with seems concerned.

When the footsteps stop, a gruff voice says, "Nice ta see ya, boys. An' ye've brought a friend."

You assume this is the same man from behind the bad, but while John was smiling a moment ago, you can tell it's now strained. You can only guess what caused the change.

"What've they got on you, dollface? Ye're too gorgeous to be here, with them, by choice." The man laughs at his own joke as you turn. You don't know how often the boys come here, and you certainly don't want to burn bridges if they think the joke is funny, so you simply give the man a tight smile.

John gets his attention and orders drinks for the boys then looks to you. You order a soda; these guys do not need to see what a lightweight you are, and you definitely don't need your inhibitions lowered. Kyle orders chips and curry for the table as you all decide on your meals.

The atmosphere is much different than at lunch, when the lore of being the 141 kept you insulated. John and Simon are scowling more than before, to the point where you suggest everyone heads back to base.

"Why?" Simon asks.

You look at him then over your shoulder to the small group playing darts, the few people at the bar, the man who was at your table and another woman, both making drinks behind the bar. "Oh, I don't know," you drawl. "Maybe because it looks like you're trying to stare the place down."

Simon's eyes snap to yours as Soap giggles. "She's got a point, Lt. Yeh look right pissed."

He turns slightly to see where Simon has been staring, his own face morphing from carefree to annoyed as Simon says, "It'd be fine 's long 's other people'd mind their fuckin' business."

You look at him pleadingly. "Then let's go, really. I want this to be nice for us all, and clearly you're bothered by something."

Simon looks at John who claps a hand on his shoulder. "Oz's right, Ghost. Let it go or we're gone." Though he's calm and the tone is light, John's words come across as a mild threat.

You make it through the meal without another incident, but as you get up to leave, the guys take up positions around you. It's impossible to miss the way John leads the way with Kyle and Soap chatting your ears off while Simon trails you silently.

Back at the barracks, you say your goodnights and turn in while the others meet in John's office. "Tha' was a bad idea," Ghost says. "Too many eyes on 'er."

"Not sure base is any better," Gaz says. "Plenty a' the rookies saw 'er as I walked 'er to lunch. Got the feeling some idiot is biding their time 'til we're gone."

Price looks around at them. "Is this something ya want? Truly?"

"How can we not, Cap?" Soap asks. "She's perfect. And perfect fer us." Gaz nods, and Ghost meets Price's eyes unblinkingly.

"Alright then. We got less than a week to get this done."

series masterlist | main masterlist

~~

Taglist: @blackhawkfanatic @starriestarlight @grayskel @mxtokko @imjustheretofightforlove @miss-vanta-likes-to-write

[notquitecanon]

Not Quite Canon's Masterlist:

Just another multifandom imagines blog. All works are dated- so you can date my progress and track as my ADHD brain jumps from one hyper-fixation to the next

** Indicated NSFW. 18+ MDNI

Do Not Repost! Please and Thanks <3

Requests/asks are always open, the rat in my brain likes receiving little messages and notes of inspiration :)))

Works & Playlists below the cut!

Criminal Minds x Marvel crossover 2019, unfinished (masterlist)

Marvel: 

Spangled Stars || Steve Rogers x Reader (2019)  Whiplash || Peter Maximoff x Reader (2019)  Like a Good Neighbor || Bucky Barnes x Reader (2019)  Chance Encounter || Spiderman x Reader (2020)  Look at You || Moon Knight system x reader (2023) **  Call Me�� || Matt Murdock x Reader (2024) 

See Also: Miguel O' Hara Playlist on Spotify 🎧 Criminal Minds / Marvel Crossover listed above ^^

Criminal Minds:

Christmas Vacation || Spencer Reid x Reader (2019)  Fun Facts || Spencer Reid x Reader (2020) Thief! || Spencer Reid x Reader (2020)  Missing || Spencer Reid x Reader (2020) 

See Also: Criminal Minds / Marvel Crossover listed above ^^

John Wick:

First Impressions || John Wick x Reader (2020)  With & Without || John Wick x Reader (2021) 

DC Comics:  

Zero Stars || Adrian Chase x Reader (2022)  Beverage Napkin || Adrian Chase x Reader (2022)  Stop Worrying || Adrian Chase x Reader (2022)  Ghosting || John Constantine x Reader (2023)

See Also: Adrian Chase Spotify Playlist 🎧

Ghostbusters: 

Here, Let Me || Dr. Egon Spenger x Reader (2021)  Mandatory Attendance || Dr. Egon Spengler x Reader (2021)  Happy Golden Days || Dr. Ray Stantz x Reader  Snow || Dr. Egon Spengler x Reader (2022)  For Emergencies Only || Dr. Egon Spengler (2022)   >Part 2   (Metaphorical Rescue Eggroll) >Part 3  (The Love Hypothetical) Dust and Motor Oil || Dr. Ray Stantz x Reader (2022)  Stardust & Fungi || Dr. Egon Spengler x Reader (2022)  Tell ‘em bout the Twinkie || Dr. Egon Spengler x extroverted!Reader (2023)  Hypno!kink headcanon (2022) (plotbunny free to good home) ** See Also: Ray Stantz Spotify Playlist 🎧 I Wanna Be Ghostbuster Playlist 🎧

That 70s Show:

First Dates || Steven Hyde x Reader (2020)  Snowed In || Steven Hyde x Reader (2020)  Comfort || Steven Hyde x Reader (2020)  Slippery & Cold || Steven Hyde x Reader (2020) ** 4 Things Steven Hyde Agreed To & 1 He Didn’t || Steven Hyde x Reader (2020)

Star Wars: 

From the Start || Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader (2019)  Strings || Obi-Wan Kenobi x Politician!Reader (2020)  Disappointment || Kylo Ren x Reader (2020) ** Sacrifice and Devotion || Din Djarin x Reader ( 2023)  See Also: Din Djarin Playlist on Spotify 🎧

Twilight: 

Cowardice || Jasper Hale x Reader (2020)  Bad Moods || Jasper Hale x Reader (2020)  Attitude Adjustment || Jasper Hale x Reader (2020)  The Moment Before Eternity || Carlisle Cullen x Reader (2020)  Firsts || Carlisle Cullen x Reader (2020)  Spiked Punch || Jasper Hale x Reader (2021)  GTA || Jasper Hale x Reader (2021)

Baldur’s Gate 3: 

Insufferably Admirable || Astarion x Reader (2023)   > Part 2 (Foolishly Admirable - 2024)   See Also: Astarion || The Pale Elf playlist on spotify 🎧

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare: 

Keep Talking || Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (2024) ** Warmth || Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (2024)  Dense || Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (2024)  A thought about Poly!141 x Reader (2024) ** >>Search History || Poly!141 x Reader (2024) ** >> Virtual Breadcrumbs || Poly!141 x Reader (2024) (Part 1.5) ** >> IRL Plug and Play || Poly!141 x reader (2025) (Part 3) ** ~~~~Any additional asks or headcanons are posted under the #searchhistory on my blog!

Familiar and Whiskey || Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (2024)** Some clever sleep pun title || Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader (2025)

See Also: POV: ur in love with Johnny "Soap" McTavish playlist 🎧

POV: ur in love with Simon “Ghost” Riley 🎧

[allykakamatsu]

TWST Headcanons

Some of these will be more in dept than others, one or two will be AU specific, either way, enjoy~

Ace:

Bi disaster and is in hardcore denial over it

Didn't have any scars coming into NRC but by the time the year was over he had thorn pricks all over him (from the Rose Garden and from OB!Malleus) plus some nasty marks from the STYX guards that never went away.

Nowhere near as bad as Cater, but is afraid of loosing the people he's close to which is why he acts so abrasive.

On that note, post book 7 Cater is 100% is favourite senpai.

Before going to NRC got gifted a pocketwatch by his brother. Mostly not a big deal but in Twisted Hearts it's a big part of the inciting incident.

Deuce:

Also a bi disaster, in slightly less denial about it.

Covered head to toe in scratches and scars due to how many fights he got into during his delinquent days.

Not sure if canon refutes this in any way, but he feels pretty resentful for his dad leaving him and Dylla alone.

After seeing Ace's dream he starts worrying he's a bad friend to Yuu as he wasn't even thinking that much about what would happen when Yuu is eventually allowed to go home.

Trey:

Gay and proud.

Doesn't have many scars but like everyone in Heartslaybul he does have some marks from the rose garden, plus a few burn marks from cooking mishaps.

After an incident with Rook in science club, always carries a spare pair of glasses with him to be safe.

Does not know his dad puns suck ass and no one has the heart to tell him despite the cringe.

Cater:

Bi, though tbh if you're playing the JP side that one's honestly just canon-

Also some flavour of trans but idk which one yet.

Another rose thorn victim, and also has some burn marks from when he had to do the cooking at home and it went wrong.

Has a pretty big crush on Vil (again this one is debatably canon on the JP side if nothing else)

Admittedly I'm borrowing this one from @ladyazurith but due to his clones he was in charge of being everywhere and getting all the manual work done, which is why he was so quick to pawn it on Ace and Deuce during Book 1.

Wants to open up about his issues to his friends but has no idea how, plus there's the fear that he won't see them after NRC anyway, or that they won't like him anymore once he's more honest.

Riddle:

Gay and (somehow) even deeper in denial than Ace is about it.

The one with the least amount of rose thorn scars but still has a few. Also has some very slight burn marks from some reckless fire magic usage.

Also this one is for all the OB bois but some of the ink markings from his Overblot left behind some faint lines that become more visible when he (or any other OB boy) use magic.

Naturally white hair, his mother made him use magic to turn it red, and post book 6 he let's a little bit of the white show.

Not the worst at NRC with this, but has no idea the average price of most things so he has a decent chance of getting scammed.

Post book 1 once he admits he's never had a sleepover among other things Cater immediately drags the group into one. It goes well and Riddle has fun despite some initial awkwardness.

(more underneath cut)

Leona:

Asexual Biromantic. Also some flavour of trans but idk which.

Got his scar from when the rude son of guest visiting the Savannah pushed him while they were playing outside and he hit a rock. Also because of the scar his depth perception is fucked.

Has had to deal with a few assassination attempts and has some scars from it but is somehow not the one with the highest score of those.

Used to date Vil during the stars first year but they broke it off before the year was over. Now they've had some time to cool off (plus Jack and Epel joining NRC who they both care for) they're stuck in will they won't they hell.

Made the day Rook transferred out of Savannahclaw a dorm-wide holiday-

Will never admit it, but has a soft spot for Cheka and kids in general.

Ruggie:

Unlabelled but know he likes dudes.

Has a few nicks due to his thievery back home, but the only scar he bothers to cover up is the mark on his arm he still has after Leona almost killed him, mainly to make sure no one starts treating him like a kicked puppy due to it.

Has vitiligo

Frequently mails canned food he got from Sam as well as cash he stole from Leona's account back home to his Grandma.

Despite the rough start due to Book 2 he and Jamil are besties and meet up at least twice a week to shit talk everyone on campus.

Is not the Vice Housewarden, however no one can remember who Leona actually picked so they kinda just give him all the jobs a vice would have.

Jack:

Bi, also I can't prove it but something not cis is going on with his gender.

Has some nicks cause Savannahclaw has a lot of uneven edges all over the place, however most of his scars come from book 2.

On that note, gets pushed around by the whole dorm a lot in book 2, both figuratively and literally, due to him being the only one who still cared about playing fair. It’s better post Book 2 but he’s still not treated great by his dorm.

Doesn't get to hang out as much as he'd like but is really glad NRC gave him a chance to see Vil again.

Occasionally gets roped into the Diasomnia training due to Sebek offering and him wanting to mix it up.

Azul:

Gay and generfluid but prefers male pronouns.

Aside from the standard OB scars he has some scars from when his classmates back in the Coral Sea were poking him with sharp coral.

An ever so slightly better flier than Jade, or at least can last longer without having a heart attack.

Honest to the Seven just wants to help Jamil out in his own... unique way, the fact that he'd have such a powerful mage in his dorm is honestly just a bonus.

Frequently turns board game club into personal issues venting, much to Idia's dismay.

Jade:

Hasn't thought much about sexuality but he knows he likes guys. Is also generfluid though they don't have a preference.

Not nearly as many as Floyd but still has a lot of scars, including a large and nasty one on his back from when a strong mer attacked him when he was younger.

Part of a mob family and is the one set to take over the family business, a prospect he doesn't hate but would rather have as much fun as he can on land in the meantime.

Had a few more siblings when they were younger, however a group of predators showed up one day and killed most of them. Jade (the only one awake due to him getting a midnight snack) managed to keep himself and Floyd safe but he didn't bother trying to help the others, leading to him watching them all die.

Would rather die than admit it, but is pretty insecure about his UM and it's many limitations and worries that he might get replaced for not being strong enough.

Floyd:

Gay and generfluid, though like Azul he tends to prefer he/him most days.

Head to toe in scars, there's barely a part of him that isn't scratched in some way.

Also forgot to mention this with Jade but the two of them both have their mer cheek stripes showing at all times.

Too young to remember their other siblings and Jade plus their parents never told him so he doesn't know.

Not as down horrendous as Azul but also likes Jamil a lot and wants his sea snake to have nice things.

On that note, his favourite people are the kind that aren't afraid of him and are even not afraid to fight him, which is why he latched onto Riddle so fast after the chaos that was their Opening Ceremony.

Kalim:

Pan, he just loves everyone.

Multiple scars from the assassination attempts, most notably rope burns on his wrists which he usually tries to cover with either long sleeves or jewellery as a distraction.

The one time he tried to go to a therapist for his issues it ended up being an assassin so that scared him off for life.

Once a month after book 4 he goes over to Heartslaybul so Riddle can teach him law so he has more of an idea how to help Jamil and the rest of the Vipers.

Jamil:

Bi with a male preference and Bigender, but you can only call him she if he gave explicit permission (thank @blondeaxolotl for that one)

Hard to tell due to how well he hides them with his magic, but is the only one at NRC who can compete with Floyd and Lilia in the scars amount. Stab wounds, rope burns, marks left by Ruggie making him fall down the stairs, burns from when he was learning to cook, OB scars, you name it Jamil probably has it.

Half snake beastman on his mom's side, all that really shows is a snake tongue and sharper fangs

Major complex over needing to feel needed given that being essential to Kalim was all he had going for him most of his life. Only starts to deal with it and by extension accept Kalim's help after Book 6 when Leona turns their tower trip into a therapy session.

Will never admit it out loud but is warming up to Azul and Floyd (not that he’ll admit it) However while things are a bit better he and Jade still don't get along though, partly cause they spend less time together and partly because they're too similar in a lot of ways.

Never liked Rook much to begin with, but the mild dislike turned to full on salt after VDC. Like, he gets that Vil probably needed some consequences but did he have to drag everyone else down with him?

Vil:

Bi but a male preference and genderfluid, no pronoun preference.

The only scars he had before his OB was one he got when he was 6 and he accidentally cut himself with a knife, and has done everything in his power to hide it.

Not many other kids where he grew up so he didn't have many friends, Jack being his only one for a good while.

Part of him wishes he could meet his mother but doesn't have any regrets about being raised by Eric.

He and Rook are a package deal. If you want to date one, the other is there. Platonic or romantic, RookVil are a pair you do not seperate.

Speaking of Rook though, while Vil knows Rook did the right thing at VDC and he'd probably feel awful if he won after what he did and almost did, the dumb emotional part of his brain was still hurt, though the two patched things up by the end of book 6.

Rook:

Gay, like so gay it almost makes everyone else look straight by comparison. Also idk his gender but he ain't cis.

Has a decent number of hunting scars. Isn't ashamed at all but they're usually covered since they're mostly on his hands and he usually wears gloves.

Half of Savannahclaw has filed a restraining order against him though none have gone through.

Still feels some guilt over book 5 cause he knew how much it hurt Vil plus it got the others caught in the middle but he knew that he couldn't let NRC win after Vil tried to poison Neige.

Vil and Leona's biggest shipper when they were together, low key trying to set them back up now that they're on better terms.

Epel:

Gay and transmasc. Overcompensating masculinity wise big time.

Has a decent few scrapes from the farm, and also has a gap tooth that he doesn't mind but Vil is desperately trying to convince him to go to the dentist to fix with the actor even offered to pay for.

Goes back and forward between thinking Deuce is the coolest or the lamest affectionate. Either way they love talking Blastcycles.

Looks up to Leona a lot, low key horrified to learn that he and Vil somehow used to date.

Was sweating a lot during the Harveston trip as he was worried the group would see his old pictures and figure out he wasn't born a boy, but while the truth didn't come out seeing how well they reacted when they thought Marja's old picture was him did give him a lot of peace of mind.

The one besides Ace who crashes at Ramshackle the most so he can get a break from Pomfiore.

Idia:

Asexual and demiromantic. Also some flavour of trans but idk which

Has a few burn scars, some from the obvious source and others from wires sparking while he tried to fix something.

Actually descended from Hades, he and his parents are just hesitant to admit it due to the inevitable multiple follow up questions.

Addicted to this worlds version of Project Sekai. Do I have any evidence besides vibes? No but I still believe it-

After a few too many near death experiences calls he's just started making prosthetic limbs just in case he needs to replace something, and even if he never needs them he can just use them for Ortho when he's ready for a size upgrade.

Ortho:

Has only just gained sentience and doesn't really care about romance or gender rn

No real scars cause well, robot, though he does let the first years have some fun and do marker graffiti on him sometimes.

Has all of OG!Ortho's memories, and while he knows it's silly he still finds himself dealing with imposter syndrome a fair bit.

Has figured out that everyone thinks anything rude he says is unintentional, and uses this to occasionally back talk people who make him mad and get away with it.

Malleus:

His type is anyone who likes him back and he barely knows what gender is.

Doesn't really have any scars on him prior to loosing his horn during book 7. The people close to him on the other hand...

Due to them both being in one man clubs whenever cross club competitions arise Crowley usually pairs Malleus and Jade together, leading to a surprising friendship between the two.

To some people (Leona's) annoyance, post horn breaking he's still plenty powerful, just not god level like he used to be.

Speaking of Leona. They dated. It was only for a week as Leona was rebounding hard after Vil, it was messy, both of them regret it, but it happened, though Mal is open to trying again.

Also a surprisingly good cook, if only to keep Silver alive until he learned how.

Lilia:

Bi and polyamorous. Also doesn't give a fuck about gender.

Probably the most scared one at NRC for obvious reasons, man is covered in stab wounds as well as lightning scars from both Melanor and Malleus.

Speaking of Melanor, the two of them along with Levan/Raverne were all dating though the royal couple made sure the senate didn;t find out about Lilia.

Genuinely oblivious to how awful his cooking is. He managed to raise Silver without him dying so how bad can it be? (Silver has an iron stomach as well as Malleus saving him)

Silver:

Demi. Thinks he's cis but is open to experiment.

Has a few scratches and bruises from his training but nothing too major.

Post book 7 he briefly experiments with dying a streak of his hair blonde but quickly gives up on that idea and just goes back to no dye, or if he does want to dye he goes black like Lilia and Malleus.

Loves singing. Wanted to audition for VDC but didn't want to risk screwing it up by falling asleep mid song.

Forgot to mention with Kalim but those two are pure lights. More so relevant for Twisted Hearts but in cannon it means they're less likely to Overblot and blots tend to keep their distance.

Sebek:

Doesn't really have a label for it but he knows he likes guys.

Like Silver just has a few training nicks though he has a few more due to being more reckless.

One time nearly had a heart attack and destroyed half the dorm looking for his Malleus painting, only to find out that Lilia just took it to clean the frame. Afterwards Sebek cleaned up and sent himself to detention out of shame-

Due to his dad being a dentist he has some of the best dental hygiene on campus and knows a lot about teeth, leading to a surprise friendship with Trey.

Eventually remembers the events of NBC Lost in the book, but whether that's because he finds Skully's painting, meeting his ghost at Ramshackle or actually sees his friend in person again depends on the setting and how I'm feeling.

Masterpost

Buy me a Coffee

Commission Prices

[laiqualaurelote]

Making a masterlist of my Dead Boy Detectives fics, which I will be locking on AO3 soon.

in this city there's a thousand things I want to say to you (E, 4.9k)

post-canon fic in which Edwin has a sexual awakening courtesy of the Cat King and it blows Charles' mind, among other things (nicking this summary from @adventures-in-mangaland); seems to have accidentally manifested S2's First Adult Experience.

the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned (T, 8.5k)

the time travel fic in which Edwin dies over and over again in multiple AUs as Niko tries to find him and stop time from collapsing, ft. Noir!Edwin, JazzAge!Edwin, Professor!Edwin, at least two different war Edwins, and the Niko-is-the-Principal conspiracy theory manifested through Apollo's Gift of Prophecy Dodgeball.

gig officially gigged (T, 13.8k)

the rock band AU ft. punk drummer Charles, classically-trained virtuoso guitarist Edwin, kawaii metal bassist Niko, and disgraced child pop star Crystal over the course of one epic gig; plus the prequel meetcute in which Edwin plays Welcome To The Black Parade on the King's Cross St Pancras piano for Charles.

The Katabasis Job (M, 23.6k)

heist AU! instead of becoming detectives, Charles and Edwin embark on an afterlife of crime. When the long arm of the Lost & Found Department catches up with them, they are made an offer they can't refuse: earn their freedom by stealing from Hell itself. (I cannot believe I planned a whole heist around Dante's Inferno. This fandom has made me do crazy things.)

- I hold the lock and you hold the key (E, 2k)

heist AU sexy lockpicking spinoff, in which Charles practises his lockpicking and Edwin makes things more challenging.

season of mists (T, 9k)

the bookshop/coffeeshop AU, Edwin is a bookseller, Charles is a barista, it's October, I'd make a joke about 'no time like fall to fall in love' except in the UK one says 'autumn' so I resolutely refuse to make fall puns. This is the cosiest goddamn thing I've ever written and @dont-offend-the-bees made the most beautiful art for it, some of which I append below!

still my heartbeat with your bare hands (M, 4.8k)

Bruv, tell me we still know how to speak of heroes! this is a Beowulf AU. (And I thought the Inferno heist was bad.) Charles is looking for a hall to belong to, even if that means slaying a monster to secure his place. Edwin has some noise complaints.

what's pasta is present (E, 7.8k)

the Barbara Lasagna drag AU in which Charles goes to a drag show because he's craving pasta and gets an identity crisis instead. Ft. gorgeous Gilda and Jessica Rabbit-inspired art by @tumblerislovetumblerislife!

we get to stay around and watch the stars come out (M, 2k, WIP)

the Black Doves AU where Charles is married to Crystal, who wants a divorce, and then gunmen break into his house and he has to take his four-year-old twin children and go on the run with triggerman Edwin Payne. WIP!

also here is a tiny workplace comedy AU where Charles and Edwin are co-workers in the Afterlife department. It was meant to be enemies-to-lovers but tbh the enemies part lasted like five seconds

I did not expect to be in fandom this year, and this whole thing has taken me by surprise - but oh, it's given me so much joy and solace to be here.

[anika-ann]

Take the Ache - pt.2

Part 2: The Take in Mistake

Type: series, slightly canon-divergent, idiots in love with sprinkles of angst

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word Count: 4700

Series masterlist (and summary)

Warnings: mentions of canon-typical injuries, missions and weaponry, tones of self-deprecation, unrequired love (is it though), a not-so-great pun, language

A/N: written for Stella’s Starry Winter Sky challenge; DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; this prologue is a flashfoward and is very short, especially on my scale; title is, just like chapter titles, taken from The Script’s No Good in Goodbye

A/N 2:  No use of Y/N. Main character’s nickname made up by Steve is 'Lo (will be expalined at some point, promise). Thank you for reading so far and enjoy 💕

This weapon – this stupid pile of metal plates and wiring and humming electricity – was about to be murdered.

You were going to dismantle it piece by piece if you had the patience, or slam it with a hammer enough times to make it break into thousands pieces by sheer force of your frustration and guilt.

Because the damage the weapon had done was on you; at least the most savage side of the ruin.

An EMP. A stupidly advanced machine to create an electromagnetic pulse and knock out all the tech the Avengers relied on. Of course not all your weapons could have withstand that; of course it had stunned the Avengers.

Your friends, your people.

That was bad enough and you’d wish to bite off someone’s carotid just for that, perhaps even your own because you should have thought about the possibility of one of the many evils the Earth’ mightiest heroes fought operating an EMP, but it got worse.

And that was the reason why you knew you’d take a hammer for at least a part of that weapon just out of pure spite. To make it feel the pain. Inanimate objects didn’t feel pain, but the image of smashing it was too alluring and it only seemed fair.

Coming back from the mission, a little more shaken and a little less successful that usual, everyone had been so nice about it. They had been so kind and reassuring that it wasn’t your fault the second they spied the expression on your face upon seeing the destroyed gear and being explained what had happened. Upon seeing the sheer horror in your eyes when they told you the EMP had took it out and somehow absorbed the electric energy and redirected it however the person operating the EMP wished, making it all the more destructive.

They were so nice you wanted to punch something, every tight-lipped smile cutting into your gut and kindling a wildfire inside your chest. Even Sharon, the hero of the day who had been there to have Natasha’s back when she got hurt – because of course Agent Carter had been there to save the day which you were grateful for but also despised it with vigour because she had been fixing your mistakes – was sweet about it. She was enraged on everyone’s behalf but benevolent with you, genuinely not taking any credit or accepting any pats on the back, because having a teammate’s six was the basic rule.

And that was the worst part of it all; you hadn’t had your team’s back. You had fucked up.

Because you had failed to take a variable into account when creating the Widow Bites. And as they had got hit by the EMP discharge, they malfunctioned enough to burn Nataha’s wrist.

The mere idea of the pain that had to cause would be enough to chase tears into your eyes, but the worry for your friend got overruled by guilt and fury, because you hadn’t been smart enough to prevent that.

Now that was where you’d draw a line. That was where you hit your limit. The fact Steve wasn’t amongst the ones who came here to tell you this, because he had to be too damn disappointed in you to face you with how at odds you were with each other lately and with no doubt having to explain your failures to higher-ups and probably staying with Natasha throughout her treatment, because he considered everyone’s safety his responsibility, now that was just a cherry on top, wasn’t it.

You were surprised Bucky wasn’t here to snap your neck; then again, he was emotionally mature and loving enough to know being with Nat was more important at the moment, even as Clint was probably hovering in the background.

So you got Tony, Sam and Sharon, speaking to you with soft undertone of anger directed at stupid fraction of HYDRA and too much kindness directed at you, looking at you as if you were about to break down or explode any second. Because you weren’t an agent or an Avenger. You couldn’t keep your cool like they did.

You hated being talked to as if you were a toddler or another emotionally unstable human being, but they had a point.

You already began to silently dismantle this goddamn weapon they had managed to get a hand on, even as they were still standing there, waiting for god-knew-what.

Tony and Sharon took the hint eventually, supportive smiles on their faces as they left.

Sam did not.

He lingered, a little too much in your workspace, hovering like a ghost of your conscience and guilt, watching you wrestle with tools. You could feel the compassion and understanding coming off of his figure in waves and you wished you could built a dam tall and sturdy enough to withstand it until the irritation they were feeding in you could turn into crumbling self-pity and tears.

“So… you wanna get something out of your chest?” he asked, his calmness just as obnoxious as his presence, all the softer and warmer in comparison to the sharpness of the cold edge you found yourself on.

You were not sure how long you could keep balancing at the top until you tipped over to either side, one worse than the other.

“Not particularly,” you muttered.

Peeling off one of the metallic plates covering the EMP at last, you nearly cheered, grabbing the hammer and hitting it with all your might in hopes to chip enough pieces off. For analysis of the material that was not affected by the discharge and managed to absorb it the power instead. For your own dark indulgence because fuck did that feel good.

The loud bang and clatter echoed in the now almost empty room; and one would think that would chase any onlookers away.

But not Sam.

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow at your method, which he probably considered simply distressed antics. He was half-right. But that didn’t matter; the way he looked at you, arms crossed on his chest, did.

“…clearly.”

You set the hammer down with an unnecessary but completely satisfactory clang and unclasped your protective googles to look at Sam, huffing.

“Look, Sam, I’m sorry, but I have some work to do, so if you could… go away, I’d appreciate it,” you said bluntly, turning back to the weapon with a mutter under your breath that felt real good to speak out loud as it had been sitting on top of your chest, heavy like a herd of elephants. “Work I’m clearly not capable of.”

You heard the soft rustle of his steps as he came closer, seeing peripherally that he uncrossed his arms. You could feel the weight of his annoyingly concerned gaze on your face, while you willed your eyes to remain on the printed circuit board of the EMP.

Interesting. Judging by the colour of the metal alone, they had definitely used a peculiar alloy for the conductive traces.

“Hey now… you know that’s not true,” Sam offered, his gentle tone both soothing and irritating, his next words painted by knowing more than anyone should. “And we both know that’s not the real problem, is it?”

The question sliced through your insides like the sharpest knife, your spine suddenly strung tight as the air in your lungs burst out in an explosion. Your hand was slamming the tweezers on the counter before you knew what you were doing, white-hot rage nearly blinding you as you spun to Sam, shame and fury firing through your nerves.

“How can you say that?! Of course that’s the real problem, Sam! Natasha is hurt because of me!”

He took an instinctive step back, raising his palms in defence.

“Okay, sorry, poor choice of words. Not the only real problem,” he corrected himself, regret lacing his warm irises. “But she’s really not. She’s hurt because the agents took us by surprise with the EMP-”

“Which took out thegear I designed-“

“As well as Tony and without which we would have been dead at least ten times before,” Sam threw back without hesitation, your argument dying on your tongue, causing you to gulp against the lump having grown in your throat, your hands trembling with echoes of the adrenalin spike. “But we’re not, because you have our back and we have each other’s back.”

Evading his sincere gaze as he spilled facts, you swallowed loudly, the all-too-familiar burn of tears in the bridge of your nose a welcomed sensation to focus on.

He was right, of course. To a point. But unlike you, Tony was out there with them and he could make up for any short-comings or lapses in his judgement.

And so was Sharon, the girl who saved them all; or protected Natasha for long enough at least.

You took a deep breath, unfocused gaze nearly swimming in the tears you stubbornly fought because they would help no one.

“So I hear. It was lucky Sharon was there, otherwise we might not be having this conversation, because Nat, Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, might have gotten killed the moment she was too stunned by pain to face the enemy.”

“But she was there and so was I and you have contributed to that.”

Sam eyed you pointedly as you had no response momentarily, that all-knowing gaze of his once again rather annoying. Because yes – saying all of this it out loud did not make it any less nor any more true, but it eased the pressure in your chest the tinniest bit.

You loved him, but you hated when he was right.

“But it’s not the same, is it? I fucked up and someone else had to fix it. Here. I said it. Happy now?” you sighed, turning back to your project, mind racing as you tried your best to focus on the very real problem at hand where a solution could come much easier than the one to your current emotional state.

Brief silence settled, the fact Sam did not move an inch telling you that this conversation, this attempt at heart-to-heart, was not over, as convenient as it would be.

“Anything else you needed, Sam?”

“Yeah,” he said, shifting his weight, hand leaning onto the counter a few feet from you. “We worry about you. He’s worried about you.”

Your fingers twitched at the mention of Steve, but you stubbornly kept staring ahead, squinting at the PCB as you used the tweezers to extract the alloy and placed it into one of the glass dishes for samples.

“And he’s our strategist for a reason. He can still be little slow and blind when it comes to certain things, but he’s not an idiot,” Sam added.

You bit your cheek at the call out, the uncomfortable knowledge of Sam being aware of just how complicated your feelings towards Steve were twisting your stomach, almost as much as the hint at Steve’s care.

Yeah. You were sure Steve was losing sleep worrying about you. Unless he was using his nights to wank over the image of Sharon in her perfectly tight-

You shook your head, tearing off another piece of metal. You so did not have time for this mess, especially now.

“Well, if he’s worried, he can come and check up on me,” you uttered, hoping Sam would take the hint at last.

He did not.

He was way too invested in your emotional well-being and normally you would love that, because he was simply a good friend like that, but you did not want to deal with that now. Not ever, if it were up to you, but life wasn’t that merciful. Life was quite the opposite, in fact; such was the ultimate truth.

But you were an adult – as aware as you were of your own behaviour being a little childish – and adults had to be okay with not feeling okay.

“He’s been trying to,” Sam argued softly. “He says that the one time he caught up with you, you told him you were just going through something and you needed to deal with it alone, which, pardon me, is a terrible idea. And other than that, you’re avoiding him. Avoiding all of us.”

Am I? you wondered mutely against your better judgement, a telling sting of shame in the back of your throat.  

Perhaps you had. But you were also speaking the truth when saying you needed to deal with certain shit – in this case, heartbreak over lost chances and foolish hopes and unfair jealousy and disdain – on your own.

You were feeling rather sorry for having pushed everyone away along with Steve, but it wasn’t like your best friend was the only person who was taken by Sharon Carter’s brilliance.

Not that you felt like saying any of that to Sam, who was, despite his kindness, definitely overstaying his welcome in your workshop. You supposed it served you right and it was your karmic punishment for being at fault with Natasha’s Widow Bites.

You sighed.

“Look, Sam, I have no idea what-” You heard his snort even before you glanced up at him and saw his right eyebrow arched in challenge. Your shoulders slumped as you sighed once more, your lips pursing. “He avoided me first and he doesn’t need me nearly as much as he used to. And neither does either of you, Sam. It’s clear you all have better people to-”

“Horseshit.”

You winced slightly at the curse, but you returned your attention to the EMP, willing your voice to sound as steady and unaffected as possible despite having just revealed a very raw wound in your heart and pride.

“It is really? Come on, Sam, I might be slow and blind when it comes to certain things too, but I’m not an idiot either,” you echoed his earlier words, congratulating yourself on the steadiness of your words. “And I get it. I really do. So now, can we please finally-”

“Do you really?” he interrupted you again and you had had just enough.

Straightening your posture, you put away the tweezers again and put your hands on your hips, acutely aware of how your angry posture must have seemed absurd with the semi-fastened googles still on your face.

You must have looked like picture perfect of tragicomedy; which, you assumed, was rather fitting. The warm gentleness in Sam’s eyes made your insides clench with longing after a pair of blue eyes caring just as much about what a wreck you were; but the man behind the cerulean eyes was untouchable. He had been for a while and your own behaviour had only contributed to that. 

“Of course I do. Want me to spell it out? Fine,” you scoffed, throwing your hands up just a bit. “Fine. I get it. Sharon is… she’s everything. Of course everyone is falling for her. She’s beautiful and charming, she’s smart as hell, speaks like 8 languages, she’s badass but kind, she can talk about anything because she knows at least a little bit about everything, she’s a brutal fighter and a dead-precise shot, she’s excellent at undercover, she’s more than a decent hacker and hell, she could probably do my job with one hand tied behind her back. Blindfolded.”

Sam raised his other eyebrow at your last, obviously exaggerated note. Other than that, however, concern twisted his expression, something flashing in his eyes and telling you that you had just confirmed all his suspicions about how you felt.

Great.

Maybe you should just walk around in nude; to his observant eye, you might have as well been, stripped of all things to reveal the naked truth. Of course Sam fucking knew all about your insecurities – you had probably hinted about some of those, deliberately or not, and the rest was obvious.

A small part of you felt a little warmer, pleasantly so, grateful he had noticed, grateful that not all of his attention had turned to the newest addition to the team, but you cooled that part off immediately, tasting the poison of resentment and unfair jealousy on your tongue.

“Well, that’s another load of horseshit,” Sam hummed almost casually.

Despite knowing exactly what he was doing, you felt the acute feeling having been suffocating you for weeks slowly claw its way out and lead you straight into his trap.

“But is it, Sam? There’s one, one thing that I could possibly do better than her,” you said, raising your index finger to drive the point home, words suddenly spilling before you could stop them. “Just one. And even that I’m failing at miserably, case on damn point. She’s perfect and I really do get it. She’s all the things I said and more and I can see that she’s very… loveable. She’s everything, not to mention she’s a Carter-”

“Ah, there we go-”

“Oh go to hell, Sam!”

You threw up your hands wildly, turning away as the ugly blend of shame and frustration twisted your stomach, your voice as harsh as Sam deserved for such note, nausea rising up your throat.

“I love you, but go to hell with this-!”

You felt tears of humiliation sting in your eyes, but just before they spilled over, Sam, who had very much not gone to hell and stayed instead, pulled you into a gentle hug.

The cacophony of feelings of the past weeks and today in particular came crashing down, their weight falling on your shoulders and making you squeeze your eyes shut as you let Sam embrace you despite just having just snapped at him to get out; you were that selfish. You needed that hug that much.

Your shoulders shook with the force of your dry sobs, your teeth gritted tight as not to release a single sound, but little good did that do for the storm of emotion raging inside of you. The dam was already broken, feeling spilling out and washing over your whole being like a tsunami and you cursed Sam and thanked him at the same time, because even now, you knew you’d come out of this freer of some of your aches.

That didn’t mean you could afford lose time with tantrums nor it meant that this felt good now. In fact, this was exactly what you had wanted to avoid, but Sam’s arms held you like a tight protective cage, and it felt so damn nice  despite those damn goggles digging into your skin.His impressive frame almost, almost made it possible to imagine this was Steve; the only person who could have possibly comfort you further, sooth your pain in but a few moments, just a few seconds to lend you some of his strength to keep you going and figure it all out.

But Steve wasn’t here. Steve had moved on, even as there was nothing to move on from but your laughable fantasies.

For someone of your intelligence – one you fairly doubted now, to be completely honest – you sure could be silly.

Your breath hitched in your ribcage, Sam’s palm gently running up and down your back.

“Hey. Hey. You’re okay, ‘Ron. I got you”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, fingers clutching at the soft material of his hoodie on his back, the few tears that found their way out soaking the front. “I’m so sorry – about fucking up, about acting like a jerk and pushing you all away because I apparently can’t do feelings beyond pride, and most of all about Nat-“

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

You tried to speak, to protest that none of it was actually fine, but you couldn’t find your voice, the only sound tearing through a dry breathless sob. And so for a moment, you allowed Sam’s words the sound of comfort rumbling in his chest wash over you. You leaned into the lie, the promise of a better future.

“Now listen to me, ‘Ron. First of all, Nat is going to be okay.”

“Not thanks to me,” you murmured at last, despite welcoming the reassurance, earning a soft slap on your back.

“Bull. Second of all, we allcare about you a little too much to have you replaced that easily.”

You huffed at that, unable to protest, because deep down, you knew he was telling the truth.

“And third, I really don’t think Agent 13 is better at everything. But even if she was, you’re forgetting one important fact.”

You took a deep steadying breath, feeling grief sparkle into indignation instead, the most effective motor of all. You released Sam’s hoodie from your merciless clutches, his arms around you loosening as he felt your need for a bit more space and you took it, knocking your forehead against his sternum with a huff.

“She’s blond, so she and Steve will be the perfect match and will make the most perfect babies?”

Despite himself, Sam snorted, the sound causing the corners of your lips to twitch upwards the tinniest bit. You stepped back slightly, meeting Sam’s sincere gaze with your teary one, his palms settling on your shoulders.

“That you are you,” he said earnestly, one corner of his lips rising in a lopsided smile. “You are incredible and more importantly, you are irreplaceable. To the AI, to the team, to your friends… and to Steve.”

You gulped, gaze flickering down at the pang in your heart, knowing all too well that while there might be some true to you being irreplaceable to Steve, you occupied a place in his heart different from what you would have wished.

“And don’t forget there’s ‘hero’ in heron. That’s not a coincidence.”

You snorted in a very undignified matter, pushing off his hands from your shoulders and stepping out of his space, his grin contagious despite the painful sincerity behind his pun.

Your nickname – codename, really – was a callback to one of the greatest inventors of all time, Heron of Alexandria, as well as to Clint reminding you not to hunch over your work and twist your neck as that of the heron bird, which Tony found hilarious. The ‘hero’ actually was a coincidence, but you had to give Sam A for effort.

“Hey, you do have our backs and we’re all aware of that. You didn’t let anyone down.”

“But I did,” you whispered, pushing past the lump in your throat. “And I don’t. I… is Nat really going to be okay?”

Sam’s grin blended into a sympathetic smile, his relaxed posture speaking volumes; he wasn’t worried about her and he believed what he way saying.

“Nothing the cradle won’t fix. And she’s had much worse.”

That’s not reassuring, you wanted to say, because seriously, you loved all your friends, but their job came with some really strange and concerning standards. They would tell you they were fine and pass out the next minute, only for doctors to reveal they had been bleeding out, inside or outside. And then they’d tell you, again, that it was fine and that they had worse.

Not to mention this situation was painfully different from Nat’s usual injuries.

“Maybe. But never because of me,” you noted softly, inhaling shakily and releasing the breath slowly as your ribcage ached at the reminder weaved into your own words.

“Going in circles here a little bit, ‘Ron.”

You shrugged helplessly, even as the desperation thrumming in your chest had much eased, your motivation to fix thing burning hotter and hotter, your gaze flickering back to the EMP as your mind already began to reel.

“Well I’m sorry, but I can’t exactly help it. Because this is my part, Sam. This is what I’m supposed to do best. I worry about you out there, alright? I worry so much, but I do my best and lose sleep over making sure I’ve done everything possible so that you’re a little safer. There’s a reason why I never let you to the field with an untested prototype. It has to be damn near hundred percent or nothing, and if the math was mathing, as Clint would say, I’d make hundred percent and twenty my standard.”

Sam’s smile earned a sad but warm edge at your words, but he didn’t comment, sensing you had more to say. And you did. Whether you liked it or not, it did help to get it out of your chest and you knew he would understand.

“Because this is all I can do, Sam. I can’t help you out there. I’m not some… badass with a gun and thighs that could choke a man to death,” you said, a fondness towards Natasha’s insane fighting skills echoing with ache as those worked even without the Bites you had made for her, but could not very well help her if she was too stunned with unexpected pain. “And it’s one thing to fail at making something in the first place, which would be bad enough, but this… my Bites hurting Nat, because I failed to take a variable into account, that’s new. That’s on me. And I can’t have that happen again.”

“It’s really not on you, but we could stand here talking for hours to no end and I happen to know you have work to do… and I do agree that you should keep going and do what you do best,” he said, eyes flickering towards the EMP that had been attracting your own gaze more and more. “You go and take this shit apart and figure it out, because that’s what you do. … and if you smash a few pieces in the process because that’s what you need, well that’s just the science method of it all, isn’t it?”

A teeny smile found its way to your face as you stepped forward again, giving Sam a quick hug.

What a man. What a wonderful friend.

“Thanks for the peptalk, Sam. I mean it. I appreciate it,” you said in earnest. “But uhm… I really have stuff to do and… you should get some rest. I’m… really glad you’re okay. Had-- had the EMP hit when you were in the air-”

“But it didn’t. And for the record, I meant every word.”

Your smile grew another fraction and you moved to your station, clasped on the goggles properly, settling in the tall chair and leaning your elbows on the counter. Screw Clint and his notes about a heron’s neck. “I know, Sam. You’re a good guy. Jess is a lucky girl.”

The new sparkle of joy lighting up in Sam’s eye at the mention of his new lady made your heart stutter with joy for your friend as well as quiver in dull ache. Wide smile spread on his face.

“I’m a lucky guy, so that makes two of us. Take care, Hero-N.”

You huffed, shaking your head. “Sure. Take care, Sam.”

You took a deep inhale as Sam finally walked out, your attention already fully consumed by the goddamn EMP. Staring at the gun-shaped device for a moment, you moved to examine the piece you had chipped off, wondering about the material structure which no doubt had to be a little miracle of science to have the attributes it had.

“Alright, talk to me. How do we make sure you don’t do any more damage than a goddamn water gun…” you mumbled to yourself, missing Sam’s smile as he glanced at your antics through the window.

It was not the only thing you had missed in the past minutes.

Nor you nor Sam had seen Steve hovering by your workshop as he had rushed there straight from the meeting, knowing you would misplace blame on yourself, needing to assure you that that was not the case and to comfort you.

He had never made it inside the lab, getting a glimpse of at two figures in a tight embrace through the very window.

The understanding that he was not needed nor wanted and would in fact intrude on an intimate moment instead tasted bitterer on Steve’s tongue than the residual adrenalin from the mission, the sudden empty ache deep within his ribcage much more acute than the one in his bruised bones.

He had missed his chance to be there for you when you needed it.

And what hurt so much worse was the fact that apparently, he had missed his chance at love, once again.

Next chapter // Series masterlist

Complete masterlist

Steve Rogers masterlist

Thank you for reading, loves! Thoughts, encouragements and reblogs are always appreciated ✨

May your March be filled of sunshine and hopes 💕

If you’d like to be notified on updates, follow my other blog @anika-ann-writes or let me know for a tag.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Happy Holiday season from all the members at @profoundbondfanfic!

-Part 1 of 5-

Christmas Spirit by MalicMalic (Explicit, 3k words)

It's the afterlife and Dean can finally have everything he wants.

Hanukkahn't Resist You by almaasi (General audiences, 2k words)

Dean made a Hanukkah greeting card for Cas, his fellow teacher and major crush. The card is also a pun. And also a pick-up line. And also maybe a mistake.

Hot Snow Angel by DoctorProfessorSong (Explicit, 23k words)

So you know that absolutely unhinged Netflix holiday movie featuring Lacey Chabert and a sentient snowman played by the actor who was Corbett in Ghostfacers? I saw the preview and immediately said: Dean Winchester would be a snowman fucker. A Destiel Christmas rom com. Come for the crack, stay for the feels.

Sugar Cookies and Mistletoe Kisses by Briston, Whitster_lizzy (Teen and Up, 10k words)

A little too much tequila at a Christmas party leaves Dean with a foggy memory. No one will tell him what happened and Cas can barely look him in the eye. Can Dean salvage their friendship before it's too late?

The Bad Santa Clause by Castielslostwings, jscribbles, MalMuses, pingnova, sobsicles (Explicit, 74k words)

A quiet pre-Christmas hunt goes horribly wrong for the Winchesters, Castiel, and Jack when Dean accidentally murders Santa Claus. Ho ho ho, bitches. A seasonal canon collab loosely based on The Santa Clause.

The Christmas Angel by FriendofCarlotta (Teen and Up, 7k words)

One lonely Christmas, Dean picks up an ornament: a small angel that reminds him of his mother. Over the years, the ornament becomes a fixture of his life, keeping him company through many difficult years. For Castiel, the ornament takes on its own meaning - a reminder of the sort of life he wants and can never have. Will the Christmas angel ever get a chance to take its rightful place at the top of a family tree?

The Morning After by Dancingdog (Explicit, 67k words)

'Twas the morning after Christmas and to Dean's surprise, He'd slept with a vampire, with mortified blue eyes...

The Waiter and the Businessman by followyourenergy (General Audiences, 4k words)

Dean Winchester, CEO, frequents the diner on the corner of Main and South for lots of reasons: pie, the jukebox that plays 80s music, and Castiel, the sweet, handsome waiter who always has time for Dean. When he sees Castiel unexpectedly on Christmas Day, he learns more about the quiet man… and receives two precious gifts that money could never buy.

[hehe-hoho-ohno]

Submas canon vs fanon

The entire time I have been in the Submas fandom I have seen a lot of confusion about what is canonical and what is a wide-spread fanon. Both in the sense of people thinking things were canon when they were not, and (more rarely) people thinking things were fanon when they were not. So I thought it might be useful to put together a little guide.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with using fanon. I use most of these headcannons in my own fics because I like them and canon is dumb anyway. (Note: pokemon is a huge sprawling mass and tends to contradict itself, and there have been changes across the various games/manga/anime)

All quotations are taken from bulbapidia.

Nimbasa Trio - FANON

Elesa has no connection to Ingo and Emmet besides living in the same place. There is one interaction between them in Pokemon Masters, and while they are on friendly terms they don't appear to be particularly close. Similarly, the idea that Ingo likes bad puns/Emmet does not stemmed from their fanon friendship with her.

Uncle Drayden - FANON

The only confirmed family Ingo and Emmet have are each other.

Cilan is a huge fan - CANON

Cilan is a fanboy of both of them in the anime.

Ingo is the older twin - CANON

In the original Japanese Emmet calls Ingo "nii-san" which means older brother.

"Do you have any siblings? I have an older brother, Ingo."

- Emmet, pokemon masters

Emmet's joltik hoard - FANON

Emmet's galvantula knows the move cross poison. This is an "egg move" which can only be learnt through pokemon breeding. Since it would take several tries to get this move it probably would have left Emmet with a lot of Joltik. In theory. We don't see Emmet with joltiks in canon.

Ingo's kitty smile - CANON

He smiles like that in the manga. (Admittedly, it's not as exaggerated as the full on :3 people sometimes draw him with.) He also briefly smiles in PLA, but less cat-like.

Ingo's perpetual frown is unintentional - CANON

"<player>! Someone just told me something that troubled me deeply! They said that compared to Emmet, I'm too stiff! But that's just a misunderstanding! I know I smile when I'm having fun! I'd even say that I'm quite proud of how expressive I am when I speak! What? You say you've never seen me smile? I-is that so..."

- Ingo, Pokemon Masters

They are both autistic - FANON

They are related to the twin heros - FANON

They share similar themes and motifs to the twin heros/Zekrom/Reshiram but that's it. They have no canon relationship.

Both of them are heavily coded as autistic. However, it's never been directly stated in the games that they are autistic and (to my knowledge) nobody at Game Freak/Nintendo has confirmed anything.

Ingo has a receding hairline - (debatably) CANON

He is drawn with one in the art book. Does the art book count as canon? Until something in the main games says otherwise, probably. (Though there is some argument to be had that it might be an unflattering haircut instead.)

Ingo arrived in Hisui via wormhole - FANON

"For my part, I simply found myself one day here in Hisui, a region whose name I'd never heard... All I could remember was my own name. I was still standing there in bafflement when the Pearl Clan came to my aid."

- Ingo, PLA. (However, the art book depicts the pearl clan finding him facedown on the ground, so take his standing claim with a grain of salt)

We still don't know how he got there. Similarly, it is quite common to show Ingo arriving during a blizzard/freezing to death and generally in poor health/injured/unconsciousness. But the way he recounts it sounds much more peaceful.

It'a also common to have Sneasler be the one to find him. The art book (of dubious canon) shows a human pearl clan member finding him, and Ingo's quote seems to confirm that. It's possible Sneasler was involved but she isn't mentioned.

Ingo got amnesia from hitting his head - FANON

We don't know how he got amnesia.

Ingo remembers Emmet as "the man in white" - FANON

"I'm starting to recall a man who looked... like me. We'd battle and discuss Pokémon, I think... The words "I like winning more than anything else" flashed through my mind just now..."

- Ingo, PLA, about Emmet

He makes no mention of remembering Emmet wearing white or smiling.

Ingo calls her "Lady Sneasler" - FANON

Ingo only calls her Sneasler, no Lady. In fact, nobody calls her or any of the ride pokemon Lord or Lady because...

The ride pokemon are noble pokemon - FANON

There are 10 blessed pokemon descended from the heros of old, and these pokemon are revered by the clans and have wardens. The blessed pokemon are divided into two groups, the rides and the nobles.

The ride pokemon are not called noble pokemon, and they do not get titles. Mai talks about "the great Wyrdeer" but does not call him lord or noble.

"This suggests that even Pokémon that are not nobles can become frenzied..."

- Kamado, PLA, about the ride pokemon Ursaluna seemingly becoming frenzied

Ingo lives in Sneasler's cave - FANON

We don't know where he lives.

Ingo became a Warden because Sneasler liked him - FANON

"I showed a natural affinity for taming Pokémon, which is why I eventually became a warden. But still I wonder what my true purpose is here..."

- Ingo, PLA

There is no further information about his wardenship. There is no information on what his relationship with Sneasler was prior to him becoming her warden.

Ingo likes having photos because of the amnesia - CANON

"Ah, photographs. I appreciate having physical keepsakes—less ephemeral than memories. Would you do me the honor of posing for a photo with me, <player>?"

- Ingo, PLA, at the Photography Studio

Ingo has been in Hisui for XX years - CANON

The art book uses the placeholder XX for the amount of time Ingo has been in Hisui. Some have taken the double digits to mean 10+, however the first digit could easily be a 0. So, we still don't know. Net 0 information.

Emmet must be taking Ingo vanishing badly - FANON

We have not heard from Emmet.

***

That's all for now! I'm sure I've missed or forgotten something, feel free to add stuff in the reblogs! I might edit the list later to add more if needed.

[ohitsjae]

Skz as your Long-Distance Boyfriend...(Pt2.)

tags: Stray Kids x gn!reader, set in canon, sfw

summary: How Stray Kids would be as your long-distance boyfriend (Maknae Line)

(Part 1 with the Hyung line can be found Here)

Jisung

watching the same film at the same time over video call so you can talk while you watch

ordering the same takeout as well (depending on the timezones) so you can pretend you're having a proper dinner date

him sending you loads of song clips either of potential songs or random things he's sung/made when messing around/procrastinating/in a slump etc

you send him flowers each week with a little notes that have bad puns or jokes/you wishing him a good studio session/telling him a fun fact/etc

watching the same anime/documentary series at the same time, or just the same pace if the time difference is too big, so that you can send call/send each other voice notes about your thoughts and theories

you send each other your schedules each week so you know when you're both free.

Felix

playing multi-player games together or playing 1v1 against each other. Laughing at the each others' failures and just catching up whilst you play.

sending each other things off of your guys' Amazon wish lists - sending them with the 'gift notes' option so you can send little jokes or memes with each gift.

sending each other tiktoks. You find and send him loads of dance challenges and funny trends he and the members could do as well as finding Felix/skz edits that you think will make him laugh. In turn he sends you his favourite tiktoks of your favourite animals/shows/games/etc.

buying each other's favourite perfume, buying diffusers with the same scent and sending each other stuffed toys that have been sprayed with your perfume/washed with your laundry detergent.

sending each other silly BuzzFeed/quotev quizzes and finding couple questionnaires/quizzes to do together over video call.

going on cafe dates together! When you both have the time you video cal and each of you go to a cafe and order drinks and food. You find different cafes to go to each time and sometimes you make him jealous by going to cat/dog cafes and showing all the cute kittens/puppies there.

Seungmin

putting together personalised boxes of goodies for each other to be delivered. You each send the other reminders of you, their favourite snacks from your country, one of your hoodies or shirts to sleep/lounge in, etc.

virtual karaoke nights! Either through a a game/app or just setting up a video call and taking it in turns singing and dancing to your guys' favourite songs.

putting together a playlist for your karaoke nights!! Adding all of Seungmin's skz-record songs just to see him get shy and flustered when you sing and dance to them!

getting videos of him making the other members jump/of him pranking the other members and sending him ideas for his next jumpscare/prank

video calls when you have things to do - just existing on call together and not needing to talk. Seungmin just preparing for his next schedule whilst you do chores/get some work done/etc and just enjoying each other's company without needing to fill the silence.

getting photos or screenshots of potential lyrics, clips of him singing covers and little bits of tracks that 3racha have made asking for your opinion or sometimes just giving you a pre-view of soon-to-be-released content.

Jeongin

fashion runways!! After one of you has been shopping you always call the other one and put on a fashion show for them. Asking for styling advice and clothing recommendations - and reminding him that he doesn't need 200 pairs of shows!!

depending on the time difference, having a spa day together. Doing skin care, face masks, etc while on call and just relaxing while catching up.

bowling date! Each of you going to a bowling alley and video calling each other. Taking it in turns, trying to beat each other and laughing when he inevitably falls over!

you two definitely have at least one app where you can play against each other/take turns so even when the time difference stops you from having dates or when his schedule is really busy you can still have fun together by playing a game.

sending him loads of selfies, photos of friends and family and any skz meme/tiktoks you find when you know he's busy/had a bad day to cheer him up and give him something to look forward to looking at after the long days.

he sends you videos from all the photoshoots he does, little clips he has the members film when he's recording, dance practice photos/clips where he asks for any advice and also just little voice notes and videos of him in the 'normal' part of his life doing chores/shopping/etc

---- Hope you enjoyed this!! ����

[buubonita]

dear buubonita,

it's gotten to the point that i'm running out of ask ideas so now i have to resort to my trump card: MTT ASKS!!!! what are you,,,,,r favorite,,,,, mtt hcs that you have for them,,,,,,,, even if its worlds most basic hc IDC (devours the mtt content)

denied from the pearly gates, triglycercule

MTT headcanons! here we go. They're not that big of a deal though.

Dust is the one who's been replaced the most times out of the group, Killer being the detail-oriented guy that he is, is able to tell the slight differences, starting with the fact that Dust doesn't know them, but their tastes tend to vary a bit.

Like the old Dust likes bourbon and the new one prefers vodka instead. Very insignificant things that serve as a reminder that the Dust they know is gone. Horror has a bad memory, but not when it comes to remembering his teammates' antics. He feels baffled, not just because Nightmare took Dust from them one day and shoved another in their faces as if they couldn't possibly know what's going on.

A shorter hc is that Horror has fed Killer and Dust human parts before. It was on a "date". Dust felt a bit uneasy, Killer took it for what it is; something new. Killer never stops trying something new. (We get it, stfu with the joke)

Whether or not they enjoy human flesh, I'll leave to your own amusement.

Dust had his eye ripped out once, Killer took it to dissect (but he wasn't the one who pulled it out) and Nightmare asked him to go get a replacement. Horror had to be the surgeon on duty from experience and put the new thing in its place.

I personally don't see any of the three smoking weed 😭, Dust may have tried but let's just say it's not a good additive to his degraded mind. I don't see Killer smoking anything at all, though he might be willing to try too. I'd say it's not something he'll pick up as a habit in the end.

Horror doesn't consume anything at all.

Killer, Dust and Horror can play the trombone. Though I like to think Horror is the only one still playing it.

Killer likes cats

Horror likes dogs

Dust likes bunnies (and rodents)

Killer sleeps with his eyes open (and his little hands on his soul) Horror and Dust gave him a sleeping mask so they wouldn't have to see him.

Their methods for getting out of dissociation;

Dust has a tendency to bite others, but he mostly bites his hands. Horror sticks his hand in the hole and scratches a lot, and Killer pinches others in the face (although this seems to be canon, I love it)

Horror is the only one who still makes puns, but neither Dust nor Killer usually laugh with him when that happens... (difficult audience)

[twig-gy]

it’s not inherently mischaracterization to write hms gore what matters is the way you do it. gore is a tool that can be amazing or horrible just like any other depending on the execution. pun. gore is not necessarily more shallow than anything else. no one is going around saying ‘stop writing fluff that’s shallow and only meant to make you feel good’, so why does this apply to gore? if this sounds either biased or targeted, that’s because it is :)

less briefly:

yes, gore can stem from Nothing, or mischaracterization. it can also stem from traits that the character has.

sure maybe ‘soul STABS MIND 3000 TIMES IN THE CHEST because ???? uh why not’ is a bad usage of gore, but consider ‘soul stabs mind to punish him for doing something minor (because he is desperate for heart and mind to stop their fights at all costs, and feels as if he has no power, and feels as if the only way to gain power is by making them afraid of him)’.

maybe this doesn’t fit with your specific idea of soul, but there is still character depth there.

<SIDE TANGENT>

what mischaracterization even MEANS is dependent on person to person, because, you know, PEOPLE GET DIFFERENT THINGS FROM THIS ALBUM, and they INTERPRET THE CHARACTERS DIFFERENTLY. additionally, what seems like ‘mischaracterization’ can just be what the author thinks they would react like when placed into a situation, which can be incredibly different from how they usually act! for example, both of my aus are based on how i think the characters would react whenever placed into situation x

(with maybe their characters tweaked a little, which is fine sometimes as long as you aren’t going to claim it’s canon. it’s fine to have headcanons. it’s fine to have different versions of hms(w) that aren’t specifically au. and people who are mad about it - which is a group that may include me, sometimes, i am aware - can be mad! and that doesn’t mean you’re wrong and that doesn’t mean you have to get out the ukelele and be like i’m sorry for having fun with the characters (when you Should be having fun with the characters and if you aren’t then maybe. stop?))

and in my aus they are incredibly different from canon hms! which isn’t a bad thing, it is the point!

anyway you aren’t morally bad for talking about the characters without cited sources. (the annoying part is whenever you act like you /are/ being objectively correct, and right about everything, whenever you’re clearly Doing Shit To Them (also sometimes maybe consider making an oc and whether that would be more fun than saying it’s hms. however you aren’t. morally corrupt. for not making an oc. it’s fine))

(again please don’t say people are morally corrupt for being wrong about the characters. they aren’t. it’s annoying but it’s not bad morally, and they don’t need to get hosed down for it. It’s Fine)

</SIDE TANGENT> (yes i can reclaim the html angle brackets because i know html /joke)

again, compare ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because ???? why not’ and ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because they’ve resolved their conflict, and don’t feel like they need to anymore’ (an attempt to keep the level of fluff while adding a reason- though i admit i’m not good at writing pure fluff), or ‘heart and mind snuggle and don’t argue ever because they’re tired of the pain and want just one moment of peace’ (something more similar to what i write that keeps bittersweetness/tension there).

if reasonless gore is bad, why isn’t reasonless fluff bad? if reasonless gore is ‘immature’, then isn’t is reasonless fluff also ‘immature’?

sure, maybe one is less shocking or more to your tastes than the other: it’s fine to have preferences. what i don’t agree with is saying one is horrible and the other isn’t.

my opinion is that we should stop saying anything that one writes is morally bad: and if you want to anyway, just keep the complaining (because that’s what this is) to friends you complain with, or discord servers meant for complaining, or complain on your own blog without maintagging it, rather than trying to set these rules of what one should and should not write upon the entire fanbase.

thank you (i bow and leave the stage) (ALSO STOP ACTING LIKE IT’S NOVEL TO THINK THAT HEART ISN’T AN UWU BABY OR MIND ISN’T A DEMON IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE FANBASE WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS. WE WERE GOING OVER THIS LAST YEAR. I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE MAKING THESE POSTS AND EVERYONE CONGRATULATING THEM OVER IT AS IF IT’S DESERVING OF THE NOBEL PRIZE)

[wildshadowtamer]

Fuck it, reverse headcanon time

(Taking popular fanon and applying it to a different character out of spite. This time; Batfam)

-Jason is the batkid who knows ASL. He learnt the LOA-regional-variant back at Nanda Parbat after his voice wouldnt work post-pit, and kept using it once his voice returned because theres a lot of Deaf and mute kids in crime alley. And if the modulator in his helmet breaks and he cant take it off for any reason, he can sign. He holds classes for his goons so they learn it too.

-Babs is the coffee fiend. Her family already has addiction problem (smoking from Gordon, drinking from her father, arguably also coffee from Gordon) that runs in it, so of course she got hooked on caffeine. She actually went to college, and she has to deal with these six dumbasses over comms. She needs a heavy coffee for that.

-Signal is the sugar fiend. He finds his powers are more effective if he has a lot of sugar. His dentist is crying.

-Dick knows so many swears it once actually gave a rich guy a heart attack. He was a circus kid travelling all over the world, he knows more swears than the entirety of the batfam combined.

-Bruce listens to taylor swift. Hes a rich white man with a private jet and too many exes. He is a swiftie. He will take this secret to his grave.

-Steph is actually the favourite robin amongst the rogue gallery, except Black Mask. This resulted in Black Mask losing a scary amount of rep amongst the mob/rogue communities, because as far as they know, he killed Their robin, the villain's kid who had her One Bad Day like they did, but survived in a way they didn't. They do not know Spoiler was the girl Robin.

-Out of all the batsibs, its actually Duke (assuming hes 18+ by that point) who wins a public poll of "which Wayne heir is hottest". Dick is relieved he lost for once.

-Tim is the flirt. Dick is a flirt too, but Tim is A FLIRT, and worst of all, he forgets hes doing it half the time. Hes so used to talking in innuendos and flattery for his public image that he uses it on his teammates too. All of his team has had a crush on him before. Kon is down bad.

-Cass can, will, and has smacked someone for talking shit before. She'll do it again. Her siblings will not stop her, they are cheering her on. The minute she has enough grasp on speaking to learn verbal sassing, as opposed to body language sassing, she sasses the fuck out of them while doing so.

-Duke does drag. Jason's criminal empire he stole from Penguin has a bar he renovated into a drag bar. Duke performs there, with Bluebird and Batwoman as security in case any bigots show up.

-Damian is actually the fem one of the batboys, it just takes him a while to realise it bc Expectations and Social Pressure. Flatline, whos mostly masc, bought a bunch of dresses and skirts she keeps in her house for him to wear, before he was ready to tell anyone else. Of course, his siblings were fine with it, and Steph & Cass were thrilled to have another person to take dress shopping with them. Bruce spent the day recalculating his mental pictures of Damian's future prom photos and wedding photos. Damian is like 14 by that point, but that wont stop Bruce from finding the best dress tailor in Gotham.

-Cullen is the favourite Batkid, because he isnt a vigilante and has no intention of becoming one. Bruce is so glad at least one of his kids- even if hes not legally his- is normal.

-Steph needs glasses. She doesnt tell anyone until she gets hot-purple glittery (if that color isnt a thing, she paid Lucius to make it a thing) framed glasses and just. shows up to the manor in them. Turns out she was working virtually blind before.

-Bruce was the one who started Dick's whole pun thing, because he used to say silly catchphrases too. Rock and roll while throwing a rock wheel at someone is Dick's favourite example. He still says them in his head. (The first part is basically canon from the golden age)

-following up on that, both Bruce and Dick used to randomly start singing during fights. This is, hilariously, canon to the golden age, and i petition we bring it back. Give me Batman humming songs under his breath while on stake out. Dick training Damian to fight to a song beat.