#B) a random safehouse

[korzuan]

Marvel What If: After the Mission

Peggy and Natasha recuperating in the Avengers Tower, after fighting the Hydra Stomper (Steve) and Melina Vostokoff.

Marvel What if (C) Marvel / Disney Art (c) Korzuan

[brucewaynehater101]

Warning: Dark, Suicidal Tim, etc. Also small spoilers for the Injustice movie

Had a random thought, slightly inspired by the Injustice movie: what if Tim, in a mental health slump, decided to teach the bats a final lesson? Every time he defends himself against Damian’s attacks, he’s criticized for it. So one day, he just doesn’t.

Damian gets angry and decides to take it out on the person he won’t be criticized for attacking. After Tim doesn’t respond to his taunts, he gets physical, and throws a knife or slashes his sword, expecting Tim to get out of the out of the way or block the blow, and Tim doesn’t. The sound of a blade parting flesh and a body falling to the ground gets the other bats attention, and they turn to see Damian standing there with blood on his blade and Tim’s body on the ground.

(Inspired by the scene in the Injustice movie where Damian kills Dick by throwing a baton (escrima stick? IDK) at him, expecting him to catch it (which, earlier in the movie, he did), and Dick, being distracted, doesn’t, and it hits him directly on the temple. Accident, sure, but caused by recklessness)

Basically Damian needs to learn that attacking other people because you are angry is NOT OKAY. Seriously, if you’re pissed, go beat up a training dummy or scream into a pillow.

Does Damian learn the lesson? Or not? What about B and Dick and the others? How do they react?

[Thank you for the TWs! WARNING: This is bad batfam. I love them, but we're chucking them under the angst crack bus for this]

Tw: Dark/Suicidal Tim, domestic abuse, psychological warfare, manipulation, mentions of suicide attempt

Tim is tired of constantly fighting back and defending himself. He's tired of Damian and Jason attacking him. He's tired of Dick and Bruce pushing his boundaries.

If Tim just allows Damian to stab him, *he'll* be the one to get lectured for not dodging. It will become Tim's fault, as a trained vigilante, for not preventing himself from being injured.

What does he decide to do?

Resist with extreme psychological warfare no matter the damage to himself.

He starts small.

He curates cases/stories of sibling abuse and starts to leave them in places Dick will find (hacking/messing with Dick's fyp, newspapers around the Manor, files on the batcomputer, a case Babs is informed about, etc). They aren't reflective of Tim's experiences, not yet, but they show common patterns: adult figures not stepping in, siblings being pushed to compete, escalation, negative behaviors transferring to people/things outside of the siblings, etc.

For Bruce, Tim tricks the man into reading an intimate relationships psychology textbook by stating it was necessary for a case. He then keeps tricking the man into reading gentle parenting, boundaries, and other such information.

Jason is much easier. Tim just leaves books of various siblings relationships within the man's safehouses (healthy ones, distant, cruel, enemies, abusive, recent siblings [like adoption], etc). Jason doesn't know Tim is the one leaving those books, but he is intrigued by the "recommendations." A lot of them have other lessons Tim has prepared mixed in as well [which, if Jason finds out Tim is the one who recommended the books after he starts getting along with him, then they can have book clubs ^^].

Tim sends a ton of empathy animal related movies/shows Dick's way so that the older one ropes Damian into watching them.

This takes months, but at no point does Tim relate the lessons to Tim himself yet.

He then starts pouring in warnings. When Damian tries to hurt him again, Tim asks Dick, "What if I was too tired to dodge it?" This is the only time he asks. Dick waves it off cause Damian "knows better" now. I

Tim almost gave up the game right there and then to prove a point. He held back, though.

For Jason, Tim throws in shock-value trauma dump phrases when they meet up to prevent the older one from attacking.

Jason: *pulls out a gun*

Tim: "Damn. You'd think after threatening to kill myself to prevent my future from occurring that I'd be okay with guns. For some reason, they still make me nauseous."

Jason: *holsters gun* "What the fuck?"

Tim: *nods and then disappears*

It kind of trains Jason from attacking Tim unless he wants to hear really fucked up shit that will have his mind spiraling for days.

For Bruce, Tim just points out how and when the man crosses other people's boundaries (but doesn't point out Tim's). He doesn't put any expectation or remedy out. He just indicates it to start Bruce's thought process of "Did I just cross someone's boundary?"

Then Tim feels that it's ready. He won't get blamed for not dodging Damian's attack.

So, he lets himself be seriously stabbed.

This cues Damian into having a mental breakdown. Dick and Bruce oscillate between blaming everyone else and then themselves. Jason, after seeing the shitshow of these reactions, assigns himself (without telling the others) to suicide watch Tim [those trauma dump phrases are working against Tim here].

Once Tim awakens and realizes the mess he's created, he fucking regrets it all. He doesn't want to have to clean it all up and manipulate them into being better. He's also kind of pissed at Damian for not aiming for his heart or something. Damn.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

Random Plot Points

A little about me as a writer, I love daydreaming about adventure stories. I usually know the general set up and larger plot points but oftentimes struggle with the how, how do characters get from point A to point B. 

So, I made a list of random challenges for my characters that I look at when I'm stuck.

Sharing in case helpful to others! (intended for adventure, sci-fi, fantasy stories) 

characters are delayed/blocked/experience a natural disaster (storm, fire, flood, avalanche, earthquake, epidemic, etc) (BONUS and forced to take a detour from the original path)

character(s) is trapped (quick sand, fall through ice, in room filling with poison, on sinking ship, in a trash compactor on the Death Star, etc) (BONUS- fall into hidden room and discover something) 

characters go to a festival/ball/party/political summit (where inevitably it all goes wrong)

character(s) overhears a secret (at bar, at party, from a whispered conversation below them in a stairway, etc) 

characters are attacked by an animal or mysterious force 

characters(s) caught in a mob/riot

character wins/loses something in a bet

character is brainwashed or possessed 

character is stranded/lost

character is poisoned 

character succumbs to injury or illness 

characters are chased/ attacked by antagonists 

character is captured or arrested (and needs to be rescued)

character is kidnapped and kidnappers make a demand for their release (financial ransom, exchange of information, prisoner exchange, etc) 

character(s) go undercover to retrieve information

characters decide to steal something they need for their quest (weapon, magical object, money, information, etc). (BONUS- time for a well-planned heist!) 

characters need to protect/ retrieve/ destroy something 

characters uncover a network of spies (up to you if they're unexpected allies or antagonists)  

characters discover hidden passageway, room, ruins etc that leads to an important clue

characters forced to hide from someone/something

characters need to escape 

characters lured into trap set by villain (BONUS if the villain doesn't even care who wins but only goaded them to learn how a magical object works, the extent of heroes powers, emergency response system of a government, etc) 

characters set trap for villain (BONUS- use someone or something important as bait) (if in Act 2, they fail) 

characters reveal critical information to villain in disguise 

a character is mistaken for someone else (and then is wrongfully arrested, receives information not intended for them, etc) 

characters receive help (hitch a ride, get help hiding from captors, get help escaping somewhere, etc) from an unlikely new ally 

characters forced to team up with an unlikely ally/ morally grey character, etc

characters learn something from simple library research (an oldie but a goodie)

characters just literally just stumble upon or witness something important (secret weapon, secret society etc) 

characters uncover a secret map/ coded message on the back of an old unassuming document (time for a classic treasure hunt!) 

someone escapes from prison (an old villain or an old ally) that changes the quest 

someone is being blackmailed (or otherwise forced to act against the protagonists)

someone is discredited (rumor, disinformation campaign etc) 

something stolen from your characters 

something (document, magical object, money) turns out to be fake

OR, something unassuming turns out to have special powers or meaning  

something is hacked (defense system, infrastructure, bank, private records, etc)

something critical is attacked (important bridge, port, bank/ financial system, safehouse, capitol building, character's familial home, etc.)

a computer virus is unleashed 

a biological weapon is unleashed 

a piece of information the characters believed was true, is false 

an ancient myth turns out to be true 

a secret is made public 

A law is changed or a vote on a critical piece of legislation loses/wins 

a political opponent wins an election/ a political ally loses an election 

character(s) help a passerby (from raiders, local tyrant, beast, mystical force, etc) 

characters "follow the money" and realize someone who was thought to be their ally is actually working for... (crime syndicate, villain, local tyrant etc) 

[thel1ghtningthief]

was thinking about rogue demigods and accidentally wrote two hundred and sixty nine words about them

- its canon that Nero would scoop up random demigods off the street

- nero would hire rogue demigods to take out demigods- especially powerful ones- who made it to adulthood (and anyone else who was getting in his way)

- adult demigods existing was inconvenient for nero so he hired a bunch of 16 year olds to kill them all. slay.

- theres a rogue safehouse in new york state that almost every active rogue knows about- like the waystation but for mercenaries

- most active rogues are based in nyc- close to chb

- since most rogues either a) decide not to go to camp on the way there or b) leave camp

- there are a few roman rogues but most demigods who would be rogues just retired + moved to new rome, or moved back in to the mortal world

- most rogues have nicknames - names have power

- most rogues stick in groups of 2-4, they learnt very quickly that more demigods = more monsters

- safe houses are an exception to this. most of them are charmed beyond belief

- like iris provides IMs for camp half-blood, arke provides messaging for rogue demigods (arke was on the titans side during the titanomachy and is pretty anti-chb/olympians in general, a sentiment most rogues relate to)

- nero is a dick, but he does give you a weapon on your first job and lets you keep it. most rogues do with that what they will.

- contrary to popular belief, most rogues were not part of the titans army (mainly because the TA is mostly dead). most of them left camp half-blood before Luke started the 2nd titanomachy

[foulbearobservation]

Ok, hear me out…

The piece of divinium in Cam’s neck is not just some random chunk of tarask bone. Chucking a sliver of tarask into somebody’s spinal cord would kill them; you need something still a tad human for it to work. It’s a piece of Lilith. Don’t ask me where Eurotrash Jesus got it, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s Lilith penetrating Cam and fusing with her so the are inexorably connected forever and ever. Lilith speaking directly into Cam’s mind and firing all her nerve endings ecstasy of st. Teresa style.

(Lilith is all angsty about Cam not being able to consent/say no and Cam is just holy fuck do that again and I really need you to validate my madness on this one, please and thanks.)

This inspired smthn within me idk dude

On some level, Camila knows that The Bastard's Cross (capital T capital B capital C, all very important parts of her compartmentalization strategy) in her neck is connected to Lilith. She can always feel the other woman behind her, lurking like a shadow at the end of the hall.

Well. She usually can feel the other woman lurking like a living shadow. Right now she feels nothing.

Once upon a time she would be relieved, but that was then and this is now.

The phone in her hand buzzes, outgoing call to Lilith remaining unanswered.

"Come on, come on, pick up." She mutters, thumbnail worried between her teeth.

The line goes dead.

Lilith is probably fine, most of these FBC safehouses aren't a real challenge for a trained fighter much less a trained,,, Lilith.

She reaches her hand behind her neck, finding The Bastard's Cross on instinct alone. She presses down on it like you would a bruise, expecting a flash of pain.

Instead she gets an exasperated Lilith saying "could you stop yelling at me?"

Camila jumps up, knife in hand and back to the wall before her brain processes the stimuli fully.

Her room is still empty, window still cracked just slightly to let the nighttime breeze in. There's no smell of burnt glass that Lilith often brings with her, there's just Camila, The Cross, and the still night air.

"What the hell?" She breathes out.

"Aren't you still a nun?" Lilith's voice responds, rumbling comfortingly at the back of her neck. Camila was loath to admit it when she was being trained by the Lilith years ago, but her voice was endlessly calming in its steady, even affect.

"I—" Camila crosses herself, "it's complicated. Where are you?"

"The snake pit that is the FBC house you sent me to, obviously? They had a divinium reinforced door, interesting design, very brutalist." A slight pause, Camila imagines Lilith leaning against a wall, trying too hard to look cool. The mental picture is endlessly charming nonetheless. "Why were you yelling at me inside my own head?" Lilith asks.

Camila takes three centering breaths as she calms herself down. "I couldn't feel you, I was worried." The faint scent of cigarette smoke tickles her nose. "Stop smoking, it's bad for your health."

An indignant noise from Lilith. "How did you? Jesus, nevermind." Another slight pause, the smell of smoke goes away, replaced by a phantom heat at her fingertips. "I crushed it, happy?"

"I'd be happier if we had this conversation in person." Camila admits, softly.

"I have to wait for Sister Ruth to get here so she can take care of cleanup." Lilith's voice pitches down to a whisper and it tickles the back of Camila's head in a way that sends shivers down her spine. "You sound quite eager for me to get back."

"I—" Camila crosses herself again, old habits dying hard, "I am."

She feels more than she hears Lilith's shaky exhale. "Soon."

Soon turns into approximately three hours and fourty-seven minutes, not that she's counting.

She's on her third cup of coffee for the day, on her way back from the kitchen when The Cross tingles with adrenaline.

Lilith is behind her in an instant, the smell of burnt glass hanging off of her like an ill fitted jacket. Camila doesn't have time to turn around before Lilith's hand finds a home on the back of her neck.

Camila can't help the involuntary moan that slips out as soon as Lilith makes contact with The Cross. A small spark of blue light shines in the hallway, throwing their shadows into stark contrast.

Camila claps a hand in front of her mouth and moves away from Lilith, the other woman lets her go.

When she gathers herself and turns around, Lilith's expression is guarded, but curious. She allows Camila to pull her down the hall and into her room.

There they separate, Lilith by the door as if she would need it to make a quick exit and Camila awkwardly hovering in the middle of the room.

Silence stretches languidly before Camila exhales one quick breath. "Oh for the love of—" and lunges forward, pulling Lilith into a kiss by her lapels.

Lilith doesn't respond immediately and Camila is about to apologize when it seems the other woman's brain catches up with her, wrapping an arm around Camila's lower back and one tentatively on her neck. She tastes like gunpowder and nicotine and this is so so bad for so many reasons but Camila can think of none of them as she whispers "do it again, please."

[rauchendesgnu]

Gnu writes!

To start things off, I thought I'd share all the wips/ideas I have in bad summaries (yay!)

These are the wips that are partially published: a. At Thy Will - D/s AU, inspired by medieval marriage laws in the area that would later become Germany. I've talked a bit about it here before, it includes abusive relationships and fantasy sexism and also religious trauma b. The Tower Must Fall - unfortunately a bit neglected (but I plan on picking it back up, I promise), including assassin!Martin and witch!Jon slowburn enemies to lovers (Gerry is there, too!) c. A Treatise In Balance - basically just Jon getting snatched and turned into an avatar by each of the Fears. Includes art d. The Crackling Sound Of Magic - these are small fics where Jon is a mage in training under his cruel father Elias Bouchard and Martin is a kitchen hand in their household. also technically slowburn and lots of hurt/comfort because Jon keeps getting hurt

wips in my wip folder a. faerie!Jon - he's a faerie, Martin is human, he gets lost in the Otherworld's fog, Jon saves him. Oh, and soulmate AU, too :) b. Nothing But The City - inspired by UDAD, where Jonah (while wearing Elias like a suit) performs a series of cyborg-like surgeries on Jon to use him to take control over the City that once had a name that is now long lost to time c. another fantasy au with magic, inspired by occudo's art (that I still want to eat. so pretty). including apprentice!Jon, reluctant bodyguard!Martin, and exasperated and probably evil (but hot) long haired Elias d. Archive AU - Jon is a fully developed Eye monster, way beyond human. Nobody but Elias knows. Martin joins the Archive crew, accidentally makes friends with the monster via tea, and falls in love e. teacher!Jon in Scotland - you've read it before, you love it as much as I do: Scotland Safehouse Period forever, nothing bad happens and Jon gets adopted by a bunch of nosy teenagers f. nurse!Martin AU - Martin is a nurse who deals with Jon's worm wounds (gets section 31-ed) and keeps meeting him while Jon is injured. Features the good ol' anonymous online kinky relationship (and so much research because i don't even know how German hospitals work let alone British ones) g. Magnus Academy - more teacher!Jon, but in dark, with magic, murder, abuse, blackmail, discrimination, etc. h. The Fourteen Hauntings of Jonathan Sims, Librarian - more AUs! this time it's medium!Jon time (and medium!Martin). There's ghosts, and the town is called Nevermore :) i. Vampire Stuff - loosely based on The Fearless Vampire Killers (but the German musical, not necessarily the film), featuring vampire!Jon, vampire!Elias, human Martin, Tim, Sasha (yes, Jon is Herbert) j. Martin Knife Blackwood - established jonmartin, Jon wants to propose, Martin used to be in organised crime and the mob boss Peter Lukas comes for him, drama, blood, guns, etc. k. magical bookshop - more magic. including season 4 levels of sad Jon, a traumatised mute teenage kid who is accidentally adopted by said sad Jon. Jon has a bookshop that shows up at random. like the tardis but with less control even than the Doctor has l. toxic JonElias with endgame JonMartin - this one's not fleshed out at all, but basically Jon gets to make friends and escape Elias' clutches (no Fears AU)

I have more plot bunnies, but they're just that, so I won't list them here or I'd be here for hours. Feel free to ask questions about the wips above if you like, I'd be more than happy to elaborate (it will contain spoilers tho)

[ellenchain]

Random Hitman question: 47 has gotten the contract to assassinate someone at the opera, let's say a corrupt politician in the audience. Would he

A) knock out an usher/worker, dress in his uniform, poison the target's champagne in the intermission?

B) infiltrate backstage, climb the rafters and shoot with a silenced pistol from up there.

C) knock out a singer, walk right on stage and somehow perform the deed from there (think Wilhelm Tell, but the crossbow is very real)

D) steal someone's ticket, sit behind the target and quietly stab them/poison them?

E) another way.

Also for your consideration: Diana dressed to the nines in a private booth, giving mission support with an opera glass, Olivia back at the safehouse with her computer providing additional support and Lucas handling getaway through the catacombs like some phantom of the opera knock off in cargo pants and a permanent scowl at the superfluous decadence

Hahaha, I love all of it!!!

(I don't want to go nagging on IOI's Twitter, but new maps would be so cool - playing in an opera maaan, how cool would that be)

Hard to say how 47 would approach it! Probably all options would be kinda his thing. From the silent assassin's point of view, B would not be a good option (gun wounds? doesn't sound like a convincible accident).

I think C, as cool as it is, would also be difficult to pull off without fleeing the stage and piggybacking Diana out of the opera.

D could work under certain circumstances, but it would have to be very dark. What if the middle-aged woman next to 47 looks at him with raised eyebrows and then shouts "HEY, YOU"? (I hate those NPC btw, whenever they see me doing my illegal shit they come at me like HEY YOU)

I think A would really be the best option. If he wants to go for silent assassin that is

If 47 craves chaos, he would certainly place a ducky on his seat. Or drop a chandelier. Perhaps pretending to be Helmut Kruger and get the politician backstage in a private room after the show? 👀

In any case, Diana has fun watching and is amused by Lucas' pointed remarks from the catacombs (knock off phantom of the opera in cargo pants 😂)

I can well imagine Olivia as a waitress, standing at the cloakroom and putting a GPS device in the politician's pocket. Or bringing the poisoned champagne with a big smile. Lucas is adamantly against Olivia being in the middle of a mission, but she's an adult, she can do what she wants. And 47 is happy that he has a helping hand. Because someone didn't want to put on a suit to help out at the opera house.

But which option would you prefer??

[raizenchonk]

Johnny "Soap" McTavish NSFW alphabet

this is literally my first time making content like this 😭 sorry if it's a bit corny I'm not a professional at long pieces of nsfw writing but I love Johnny and I think he's cute so yah

Warnings: Smut and more smut, not pointed towards a specific gender since I feel like my fellow enby soap lovers need more love 😤

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

this man is your professional butler after sex. need a glass of water? already on the table. need a massage? he is READY 🙏🏿 I just think he's such a sweetheart

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

His: he loves his arms and is really proud of them, he works out a alot and loves seeing your cum all over his fingers after he's done with you

Yours: ngl, I see him as a thigh man. no matter the gender he is obbessed with your thighs and would love to bury his head in them all day

if you have big boobs (again no matter the gender) he likes those too, squish em, bury his head in them, cum on them, he loves it!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

he loves watching his cum drip down your thighs. idk something about it just makes him wanna turn you into a mess

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes imagining you and him having sex and drawing pictures of that and may even jerk off to it (Ghost almost found one of the drawings once)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he had a few partners in his past so he knows what he's doing for the most part, but is always willing to try new things

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

loves any position where your faces are close together or any position that he can atleast see your face, he just loves admiring you yknow?

second in place would probably be doggy style. just the thought of him gripping your waist and hearing your moans from in front of him turns him on so much

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Johnny knows how to give you a good laugh during sex. maybe your bodies press together and make a weird noise, he'll make a joke about that. but for the most part no. he's quite serious and takes his bonding (👀) with you really seriously

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

considering his job, he probably doesn't shave all that much. not that he's dirty or anything, he's really clean and smells really nice but no he doesn't really shave. I feel like he would have a happy trail but he's always willing to clean up more if you're not comfortable with his current state

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

like I said before HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART ❤️❤️❤️ always pulling you into deep romantic kisses and always asking if you're okay AHHHH I could rant about him forever

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

again, considering his job, he doesn't really jerk off that much. because 1.he barely has enough time or privacy 2. it's difficult for him to get turned on in the first place. not saying he hasn't jerked off on the job before, probably in a safehouse while thinking of you <3 but mostly no he doesn't really jerk off that much

when he's at home he doesn't usually jerk off either cuz he has you. but when he DOES it's usually in the shower or in his home gym when he sees your busy or doesn't really wanna bother you

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

to be honest I don't see Johnny as the very kinky type but that doesn't mean I don't think he has his kinks 🤭

I probably think the most noticeable kink he has is probably his love for edge play (tbh idrk if edgeplay is a kink but I looked it up and it said it was so🤷🏿) whether he's receiving it or giving it, honestly doesn't matter

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

the couch. now this might sound a bit random (and it is a bit random) but imagine that it was the first place you and Johnny ever had sex and he LOVED it and could not get enough of it. if you think the couch is uncomfortable he'll always be willing to move locations

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

when you say his name. I can't even elaborate JUS TRUST ME

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would not hurt you, I feel like everyone in 141 also agree on not hurting their partners. sure a lil spanking, marking and maybe even grabbing your ass so much the point it leaves a temporary mark, yeah he loves doing that! but actually hurting you to the point where you draw blood? FUCK NO

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

tbh I see him as more of a giver than a taker, sure he loves watching your tongue work wonders on him as you put him in a trance but I feel like he would be more turned on if he got the opportunity to hear your...louder moans? idk he just seems like someone who just likes listening to people's voices, and since your voice turns him on he could listen to your moaning all day

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

honestly I see him going fast on default. of course if it's your first time with him he won't go fast but would probably pick up the pace slowly. and of course if you tell him you don't like it fast he'll slow down! cuz he's such a sweetheart<3

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

honestly I don't see him as someone who likes quickies that much. again I can't elaborate but idrk I think he feels like quickies don't leave his partner satisfied and Johnny being Johnny would do anything to satisfy his partner.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Johnny's a pretty confident man, I see him as someone who's willing to take risks but not TOO extreme yknow, especially anything including weapons that TERRIFIES him.

Johnny is also kinda against sex in public, not cuz he's ashamed or anything but it's just a hassle. sure he'd grab your boobs (or ass), maybe tease you a little, talk dirty to you, but you'd probably have to be the one to initiate any kind of sex when in public

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Johnny can last quite a while probably like 1-2 rounds, but each round lasts so long because all he wants is to be as close to you as possible for as long as possible (especially when you consider his job)

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

owned a fleshlight for a while but had to throw it out, other than that no he doesn't have any toys, but would always be willing to try toys out if it makes you happy

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Johnny is quite the tease. his teasing are usually stupid jokes that are so corny it's funny. sometimes he edges you and doesn't really let you cum first try but since your his weakness he usually isn't a tease

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I feel like he would make kinda medium loud groans and grunts. I don't feel like he really focuses on being quiet either, honestly I don't think he's even aware of how loud he is lmao

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

he loves stretch marks, honestly just seems like a chubby person lover in general, he loves kissing your stretch marks before, during and after sex just loves you and adores you so much it's so cute :)))

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

errrr 6.6 inches kinda veiny (I'll do colour headcannons separately ;)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

you guys have sex a lot tbh. probably like 3-4 times a week. but other times is spent cuddling and him kissing you <3

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

he falls asleep quite quickly (unless you need aftercare) and just kinda cuddles with you in his arms he's just so UGHHHHHHH I LOVE HIM but he snores so fucking LOUDLY it's like you'd think he was doing it in purpose

anyways that's basically all I have to say, sorry if it was too short or too long? idk and sorry if it doesn't have a lot of detail 😔 all of these are just personal headcannons

[dxmeow91]

BTW THE DAY CYCLE WILL NOT BE THIS FAST NORMALLY THIS IS JUST 4 TESTING LOL

Some more progress on my (extremely early development) body horror motifed boomer-shooter + wave shooter,, with perma-death, random weather events (i.e. bloodmoons that increase enemy speed, eclipses that decrease visibility,, spider rain,, and so on). There will also be resource management and wave to wave progression (hub area with some required upkeep,, and unlockable shopkeepers.) I know u cant see much of that here,, but I'm going to be sharing my progress every step of the way 2 maybe get a little interest so i can keep myself accountable and actually finish a game 4 once XD.

the gameplay loop will be (about) as follows:

begin in safehouse with 1, almost useless shopkeeper (sells shitty weapons and ammo so u cant soft lock yourself).

need to go out and brave waves of enemies and random events to make cash. event danger, and enemy variety will increase per wave/day.

on certain waves/days, a new shopkeeper spawns. to upkeep this shopkeeper, you must spend some of your money on food for them. or they will leave.

if you cannot feed the starter shopkeeper (maybe a cat that gets fatter and greedier with time),, they lock you out of the safehouse until you can afford a 1-time entry fee that will restock their food. until then, you are forced to brave wave after wave with no refuge. basically, this is a lose state, but it can be triumphed over if you're skilled enough.

this loop repeats, aided by random elements and potentially semi-random environments,, until the player cannot keep up with the intensity of the days and is killed.

FOLLOW 4 MOR UPDATES THERE WILL B MORE!!! ALSO THERE WILL BE REGULAR PLAYTESTS OPEN TO ALL ONCE I HAVE A PROTOTYPE/DEMO READY!!!

[samgirl98]

I'll be honest with y'all, I have no idea what I was doing with this, and I don't know if I'll add more. I wouldn't mind if you give me ideas lol, but I really had to write this part at least. Enjoy.

Alternate Ways to Live and Die part 1 of/?

Red Hood had seen a lot of weird shit in his time as a vigilante/anti-hero. Hell, he had died and come back; he still didn't know the reason for his resurrection.

This had to be the weirdest thing he's ever been through.

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?”

“Wow, you’re a bit dense, huh,” the glowing, floating kid told him.

Wow, rude.

“Okay, let’s take this from the top. My name is Danny; I’m from an alternate dimension. My parents and sister helped me escape after the US government ghost-hunting branch discovered my existence. They threw me through a portal that led to the land of the dead that they had built in their basement. What’s so hard to understand about that?”

Okay, yep, Jason hadn’t misheard. (Red Hood had left somewhere in that explanation.)

It was still as bonkers sounding as the first time. He wasn’t paid enough for this shit.

Huh, Jason wondered if he could guilt money out of his dad—he meant Bruce.

“Okay,” Jason said while putting away his gun, “Okay, let’s, let’s back up a bit. First things first, what was that huge green portal you came through, and is it dangerous?”

“No, that’s just a portal to the Infinite Realms, aka the Ghost Zone. It’s the Land of the Dead I was talking about. Don’t worry, it closed, so no, it’s not dangerous.”

Okay, that was good. The last thing they needed in Gotham was a portal to fucking Hell.

“Great, second question; why are you here?”

Danny sighed and crossed his arms, “The government was hunting me down, so—”

“No, I go that part. Why are you here specifically, in this dimension in Gotham?”

“Oh,” Danny uncrossed his arm and brightened. Literally. Before him stood a kid with black hair and blue eye. He couldn’t be older than 16 years, “At the moment, I’m trying to hunt down my alt, see what their life is like.”

“Alt,” Jason asked, confused.

“Alternate self. It’s a cosmic effect, sometimes, two alts can have near identical backgrounds, and other times the only thing that links them is a single, life-altering event that defines every version of that person throughout every dimension.”

Jason stared at the kid as if he had grown extra heads and insulted Jason’s bloodline.

“Speaking of,” the kid continued, “I don’t suppose you know anyone who died around age 14 and came back significantly changed, maybe with some white hair and glowing, green eyes?”

Jason felt a chill go down his spine.

No, it couldn’t be.

“Maybe with a severe hatred of clowns and just a tiny bit of anger issues. Has a weird hero complex?”

Jason was speechless. Now that he looked at the kid (Danny), he looked like Jason at that age, if a bit leaner.

“FUCK!”

Jason had called in backup. There was no way in Hell—“you mean, no way in the Infinite Realms,” the kid had interjected between Jason’s rants.

Great, the kid loved puns.

That was beside the point; there was no way in Hell Jason was dealing with this alone.

He took Danny to one of Jason’s safehouses without telling the kid who he (suspected) Jason was to him.

The fact that Danny had followed a mysterious guy wearing a red helmet and a bunch of guns and knives talked about the kid’s self-preservation skills; as in, he lacked any.

“No, listen, guys,” Jason whisper-shouted into his comms, “I think he’s an alternate version of me, but I need help confirming it. And I need to find out without telling B cuz this kid is prime Wayne adoptee bait.”

Jason looked out the door from his bedroom to make sure the kid was still eating and not eavesdropping.

“Jason, listen,” he interrupted his older brother, “No names on the field!”

“Okay, Hood, whatever,” Dick said impatiently, “maybe it’s just some random meta trying to fuck with the heroes of Gotham. It’s not like we haven’t had any pranksters before.”

“No, Dickface, listen. I saw the kid walk out of that portal and,” Jason gulped, “I don’t know, there’s something deep inside me that recognizes him. And I know that sounds crazy, but I can’t explain it. I know he’s not lying.”

Silence from the other side.

“Please, I just need help figuring this out without having Bruce breathing down my neck.”

Jason heard a resigned sigh, “we’ll be there in 15 minutes,” Tim said.

“Jason, after we run some tests, whether or not this kid is lying, we have to tell Bruce,” Dick warned him.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Jason said, relieved, “I don’t care, just come help me right now, please.”

The comms went dead, and Jason took a deep breath to calm himself. It didn’t work.

Jason walked out of the room to find Danny twirling one of Jason’s knives while staring at his guns. He didn’t even flinch when Jason yelled.

“Jesus, kid, are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Danny looked up, confused, “I mean, I already did two years ago, so too late for that. But what exactly do you mean?”

Jason stalked up to Danny and took the knife out of the kid’s hand.

“This isn’t a toy; you can get seriously hurt messing with it. You’re twirling it around like a baton. It’s not!”

Danny smirked. Jason was sure he’d seen that same smile reflected in Bruce’s eyes from Jason’s own face.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m already half-dead, then! Can’t kill a ghost, now, can you?”

Fuck, this was karma. This was karma for all the death jokes he had pulled on his family before. Now Jason knew how traumatizing and disturbing those jokes could be.

(It didn’t mean he still wouldn’t use them.)

“Can we go back to you being a ghost? Wouldn’t a zombie be more appropriate if you died and came back?”

Danny snorted, “Ancients, Hades, no! Why would I want to be a mindless, rotting corpse?”

“You said you died and came back to life,” Jason yelled, exasperated.

“No, I said I died and came back significantly changed. How does that equate to a zombie? Anyway, I’m what you call a halfa; half human, half ghost.”

Jason gestured for Danny to continue when the kid looked at him.

“When a portal to the Ghost Zone was ripped through me, I didn’t die all the way through. The ectoplasm that suddenly radiated into me changed my DNA. Death plus ectoplasm plus mysterious portal equals Schrodinger’s boy.” Danny said while pointing to himself.

Jason had no idea what to say to that. After a moment of silence, Danny continued, “Now I can die on command and have ghost powers.”

The kid shrugged his shoulder almost as if he was saying, ‘what can you do?’

Jason wanted to cry.

Did every version of him experience death one way or another? Was that the cosmic tie Danny had been talking about?

“What’s ectoplasm?” Jason asked in lieu of one of the awkward questions he wanted to ask.

“Green stuff all ghosts are made of,” Danny answered while raising his hand. In his palm, a Lazarus green goo formed. Jason jumped up and away from it, the shining color giving him flashbacks of anger, bloodshed, and vengeance.

The green goo quickly disappeared.

“Sorry,” Danny said while scratching the back of his neck, “I didn’t know it would make you…uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine,” Jason snapped back before taking a deep breath, “you didn’t know.”

Danny nodded and dropped it before starting again, “You have a lot of guns. Jericho 941s with customizations?”

Jason blinked, surprised. The kid knew guns; Jason put another mental tally on Danny being an alternate version of Jason.

“Kid, you are far too comfortable with a guy with weapons and a weird costume than you should be,” Jason said instead of answering Danny.

Danny shrugged, “You’re my alternate, and I can probably fold you like a piece of paper if I wanted, Jason.”

Jason blinked at the casual name-drop before taking out a knife and being on high alert, “You know my name, and you knew I was the one you were looking for. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, I didn’t truly know until I heard you talk to Tim and…Dick? Is that his actual name, or are you mad at him?”

“You have super hearing? And yeah, that’s his name.”

“My condolences to him. As to how I knew, I’m a ghost; we know things,” he said in a mysterious voice but with a cheeky smile, “Besides, like you, I just knew. It must be the ectoplasm.”

“I don’t have ectoplasm.”

“Sure, and I don’t do things halfassed.”

Jason groaned. How did any version of him end up with Dick’s sense of humor?

Before Jason could wonder even more, there was a knock on his door.

****

When Tim had heard another potential Jason Todd was running around, he had been ready for a bloodthirsty man hellbent on killing and/or maiming Tim or half of Gotham’s rogues.

Instead, Tim had found a wisecracking beanpole with Dick’s habits of telling puns and Jason’s morbid sense of humor.

Tim would’ve preferred a homicidal maniac.

Tim and Dick ran some tests and asked questions while Jason stood on the side without his helmet but with a domino mask. The white streak in his hair seemed to be shining and wavering in the wind. Weird.

“Test results show he’s from another dimension, uh,” Tim hesitated.

“He’s me, isn’t he,” Jason groaned, “How is there a version of me with Golden boy’s fucking humor?”

“Hey,” both Dick and Danny yelled simultaneously.

“What’s wrong with quips,” Dick asked, affronted.

“Yeah, when you beat a villain, don’t you go off on them, say a pun or three?”

“Exactly,” Dick agreed while snapping his fingers, “Especially the ice puns.”

“Oh, ice puns are the best. I have ice powers and love using them.”

“Really, well, that case, ice to meet you, Danny.”

“Oh, be chill, my beating heart. It’s ice to meet you, too. It almost feels like I’m meeting a long frost friend.”

Tim turned to Jason, “Make them stop, please.”

Both Jason and Tim watched in horror as Dick and Danny started a quote/ unquote ‘pun-off.’

“Jason,” Tim started.

“Yeah?”

“I give you permission to kill me. Please, put me out of my misery.”

“Can’t. I’m about to off myself.”

Dick and Danny turned at them, “Oh, all right, Little Wing, Baby Bird, don’t be so dramatic. We’ll stop.”

“I make no such promises,” Danny said while looking them straight in the eyes, “you act as if we’re pun-ishing you.”

“That’s it, Timmy. There is no way he’s an alternate version of me. He’s Dickie bird’s alt.”

“No, he’s yours. Deal with it.”

Fuck, this is ridiculous.

“Okay, since we figured out the kid wasn’t lying, should we call B now? Not that I want to deal with the Old Man,” Jason whispered the last part.

“B? Is that your dad? Cool,” Jason glared, “my dad’s name is Jack. He’s 6’9” and built like a tank. Is your dad that tall?”

Everyone else choked or looked at Danny’s 5’3” beanpole body and couldn’t imagine his dad being that tall.

“Are you adopted? Cuz there is no way you got his genes if he’s that tall,” Jason said.

Danny crossed his arms and pouted, “I just haven’t hit my growth spurt yet. My dad says the Fentons are late bloomers. He didn’t reach his height until he was twenty-one. I’m just fifteen. I have a few years. Besides, if my sister is anything to go by, I’ll hit my spurt, too.”

“You have a sister,” Jason asked, “A biological one?”

Danny perked, “Yeah, I mentioned her earlier, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember. You said your parents helped you escape from the government.”

Danny’s smile fell, “Yeah, let’s say where I’m from; there are only two heroes. I’m one; the other is my age, but she does what she can. Since I’m considered an ectoplasmic being, I don’t have rights and can be experimented on whenever and without prejudice.”

“My parents are ectobiologist. They hated ghosts, and I was afraid to tell them about my double life, but,” Danny shrugged, “I did, and they took it well.”

“I thought after they found out, everything would be better. I was wrong,” Danny whispered.

Suddenly, the kid brightened up, “But I guess going through the Infinite Realms and exploring while I wait for them to pick me up is cool, too!”

Jason looked at his brothers; he was sure they all had the same looks of worry.

It was time to bring in Bruce.

So, I loved this prompt, but it had no overarching story. For the time being, this is done unless you lovely people give me ideas where I can go from here, and if something captures my attention, I'll write it. I don't do fic cases well, so don't send me much of those I prefer more slice of life and just them getting to know each other. Maybe their similarities and differences, that'd be great.

I also feel the need to reiterate I've only ever watched Danny Phantom and have just started reading comics so most of what I know about DC and the Batfam is from fanfic and movies, so remember that when you leave ideas.

Thanks!

@sailor-goddess @realityisdulllonglivefiction @roseinbloom02 @stargirl1331 @batbootie @yjfk @fandom-reblog-central

Red Hood: so you’re, what, from another dimension?

Danny: actually yeah, that’s exactly where I’m from. At the moment, I’m trying to hunt down my alt, see what their life is like

Red Hood: “Alt?”

Danny: Alternate self. It’s a cosmic effect, sometimes two alts can have near identical backgrounds, other times the only thing that links them is a single, life altering event that defines every version of that person throughout every dimension. Speaking of, I don’t suppose you know anyone who died around age 14 and got brought back significantly changed, maybe with some white hair?

Red Hood:

Danny:

Red Hood:

Danny:

Red Hood: :|

Danny: :D

[timeclonemike]

The Morningsburg Swap Meet

Rare Item Mechanic: In order to get certain rare or advanced pieces of equipment ahead of the normal progression curve, it is possible to engage in a hybrid mini-game / side-quest / gambling mechanic in the Swap Meet held in Morningsburg. Random traders will set up stalls and attempt to wheel and deal with each other, as well as the Hero. As the Swap Meet is a strictly cash-free enterprise (explained in-game as a way to get around sales taxes and guild fees) the Hero must track down various items needed for chains of deals. Some of these items are conventional weapons and armor, some are crafting ingredients, some are rare magical artifacts, and some are just plain bizarre.

The Random Factor: While the Hero is running around the Swap Meet making deals, certain traders are also making deals with each other, so after finding out that Trader A needs a Widget from Trader B, the Hero could make that trade and then come back to find out that somebody else already bought the item that Trader A was selling. The Widget might or might not be useful to another trader, and the original target item might be available from another Trader, the challenge is finding it and keeping track of all the different items needed for different chains of deals.

The Method To The Madness: To keep the Swap Meet from being a complete RNG crap shoot, each Trader has a narrowly defined Theme that they deal with almost exclusively. Antique Traders deal with old items, Salvage Traders deal with worn or broken gear that could be repaired (or broken down for parts) in one crafting system or another, and of course magic users deal with items and ingredients for their respective specialties. Items will change hands based on where different specialties overlap, so a Bookseller will buy or sell old books with Antique Traders, technological manuals with inventors, and spellbooks with different magicians. Likewise Gun Show Dealers will trade in firearm-class weapons, with antiquarians buying or selling older weapons, survivalists and soldiers buying the newer ones, and possibly even buying some weapons manuals from booksellers. This reduces the chances of having to chase a single item across half of the tables of the Swap Meet; there's no particular reason for a Time Occultist to trade for a Cookbook or an Alchemist to trade for a set of Wind Up Teeth.

Regularly Scheduled Time Limit: The Swap Meet is held every week at the same time of day, and only lasts so long, in the same way that the Protagonist of Secret of Evermore only had a short time to trade in the Nobilian Marketplace the first time they came to the city. Whether or not the Hero walks away at the end of the meet with what they wanted is mostly down to proper time management and keeping track of the different traders; each one has a table of visually distinct items so it's very hard to confuse a bookseller, an alchemist, and an antique dealer with each other. It's also possible to perform a side-quest earlier in the week and get the chance to buy a map of the trader's tables and booths in advance; each one costs thirty bucks, which is less than a single first aid kit and can make the difference between spending the whole day going in circles accumulating useless trinkets and heading back to the Safehouse / Airship with some fancy new toys.

[auideas]

Hi! Can y’all please give me some ideas for a daycare AU? I’ve wanted to try my hand at it but I don’t know where to begin :(

Please help!😭

You don’t know how much time we spent brainstorming this one, oh my god. We think we’ve come up with a great set of prompts for you, though!~

Admin M:

Daycare itself is too expensive, so parent Character A decides that maybe there would be another way to get their kid in the door. Another exchange of...goods. NOT THAT. More like, doing odd jobs, etc. Character B (the owner of the daycare) agrees to the strange arrangement, and Character A does their taxes, washes their car, repairs the roof, etc. Slowly but surely, the two grow closer and the tasks move further and further away from the daycare building and a bit closer to home.

Kids really shouldn't be underestimated, and nowhere is that more true than the kids left at a daycare. On that fateful October day, the police get a call that there is a hostage situation being held at a local daycare. They rush to the scene, but find that something is a bit off. The FBI agents were more than confused when the voice that responds to their trained negotiator clearly belonged not to a deranged man, but a particularly intelligent and peeved 7 year old.

“Myself and other kids in the family (yes, family in big letters) all go to a specific safehouse after school until our parents get home. Think of it like the Mafia daycare, but without the supervision or legal precedents. We never really minded it, but today, the doors locked and the windows clamped shut with steel sheets. Things got weird pretty fast -- I mean, how the hell are we supposed to survive without a switchblade or two, or even a box of frosted animal crackers?” AU

Working with kids was Character A’s passion; they’d been doing it for their entire life, so opening the daycare was an absolute no-brainer. They never thought that working with kids could feel unnatural for anyone...well, that is, until they met Character B who applies for a position as a daycare assistant to get “better with kids” in preparation for their sibling’s new kid that was just born.

Character A feels absolutely heartbroken when they find themselves being forced to send their kids to daycare even though they work from home. It wouldn’t be for long, but their project at work is very important, and there was no way they could focus on Zoom meetings about contract law when CocoMelon blasted in the next room on a loop. But, being the concerned parent they are, they decide to take a week off work before the project begins and kind of stake out the daycare. This included logging the schedules, calling previous health inspectors, and yes, calling in a few favors with the IRS to run tax audits. Character A didn’t expect their child safety officer get up to work as well as it has so far, but Character B (the owner) doesn’t seem to suspect a thing...hopefully. Was the mustache too much, or was it the thick North Atlantic accent?

When all the children at Bumblebee Daycare start manifesting random powers, Characters A and B are completely dumbfounded. It couldn’t have anything to do with the circle of rocks the kids put in the playground, right?

“My parent didn’t want to send me to daycare at first, but I told them that it was so I could make some new friends (that’s a lie though -- don’t tell them). Actually, I just want to find another kid that’s like me. If they’re like me, then their parent must be like mine, so they may get along and I can have two parents again. I just want my Baba to be happy.” AU

A. Admin Kasi:

Character A is a particularly grumpy single parent dropping off their child at daycare, so you can imagine their inherent excitement to finally be rid of their little ray of sunshine, even if it’s just for 8 hours. The problem is, Character B (the owner of the daycare) seems to have just as many rainbows spewing from their mouth -- their sheer brightness and love is almost painful. Character A is dumbstruck, wondering how a person could have gotten to this state. Solving this mystery becomes a bit of a hobby for Character A, and these two opposites slowly attract.

Character A (the parent) is always late. Always. Without fail. So, Character B (the teacher) is forced to stay late with their poor child every single time. Due to the sheer amount of time they were spending with Chracter A’s kid, Character B starts to feel almost like a surrogate parent. Sure, Character A is a surgeon, and sure they’re saving lives, and sure they’re super attractive, and sure their eyes are dreamy-- ahem. Character B writes off their involvement as simply a favor. This would definitely be the last time. It’s time for a small much-needed confrontation, because this simply couldn’t go on. When Character A finally comes in to pick up their kid, Character B tells them sternly that they couldn’t do that any longer and… why’s Character A suddenly asking them out for dinner?!?!

Parent teach conferences aren’t common with daycares, but Character B has vowed to give the best care possible, and this was one of their many methods of ensuring the best possible situation for the children in their care. The only thing is this parent teacher conference seems to have summoned a goddamn hurricane, because Character B and Character A (one of the parents) are now locked in the building until it’s safe to leave. What happens between them? Tension? Spice? Fluff? Deep hidden feelings and surprising things always come up when two people are locked together overnight!!

Character A’s kid is a creepy one. There’s no way around that fact -- they can do some strange things, like see ghosts, look into the future, etc. Unfortunately for the daycare teacher (Character B), the kid foresees that the teacher will die in a few days. Oops. Both Character A and their kid get to work in trying to prevent Character B’s death from happening -- do you know how hard it was to find a place that would deal with talking to ghosts?! Of course, the feelings that come with the potential end of someone’s existence can be more dangerous than the event itself, and maybe Characters A and B get a bit closer than they intended.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Miscellaneous Batfam headcanons

Dick

He’s really the only person in the family who can get away with getting out of hostage situations because of his job as a police officer

… but he doesn’t

Yes he uses this as an excuse to hug his family

No he doesn’t feel bad about it

He’s a good actor, he has to be with his job, so if there’s other civilians around or the tied up henchmen are still conscious… well, what kind of asshole wouldn’t hug a sobbing civilian?

Clings to whichever unfortunate sibling is closest when he’s let go

Just… no shame whatsoever

Yeah, the family is more than a little hesitant to help him

Unfortunately for them Dick is pretty much the entirety of the family’s emotional support system

So, eventually, someone caves and goes to rescue him

(Also, one time they didn’t, and he was insufferable for months, and they don’t want a repeat of that)

Babs

Babs knows EVERYTHING

This makes getting around her… difficult

One time she decided to make everyone get over their unhealthy habits

She was mostly just concerned about everyone’s habit of substituting sleep with coffee

They'd done everything to keep Babs from finding out

Checked everywhere for bugs, made sure she wasn’t home, bought new phones, EVERYTHING

And yet when they snuck to the kitchen for food…

The phone started ringing

Cue screaming

They only got back their unhealthy habits by begging… and considering they're the bats…

Well, let’s just say it took a while

Jason

He regularly kidnaps his siblings

It’s a love language, okay?

He might not be good at emotions like Dick is

But he WILL break into everyone’s safehouses, grab them by the back of their shirts, and drag them out for joyrides and ice cream

And that’s just as important, really

The bats are terrible with dealing with emotions and he is perfectly happy to help them avoid their problems

His services also extend to stealing them away from Dick when he’s attempting to get them to open up before they're ready

One text and he’s there

There’s two older siblings, one of them has to be bad, it’s called balance

Tim

The only time he sleeps is when Bruce is attempting to lecture him

Of course, he didn’t start out that way

He’s Tim Drake, after all, he has a duty to be perfect at everything he does

But… there’s only so many times you can listen to the ‘Don’t do reckless stuff’ speech before you can recite it from memory

At this time, lecture time has been changed into nap time

Bruce has started to use this to his advantage

When he notices that Tim hasn’t slept in days he starts lecturing him

One time he had a dream where he was getting the lecture and he had to wake up

Bruce had to scramble to start lecturing again

Tim figured out what was going on after that

But the other option is to listen to the lecture all the way through so he accepts that he has to sleep

Steph

I see your “Jason Todd/Damian Wayne are the embodiment of the Cain Instinct(™)” posts and raise you Stephanie-fucking-Brown

The Wayne Love Language is almost murdering each other and it really shows

Steph walks into a room and it is On Sight

Who punches first? Who knows

(It’s usually Steph)

It’s a smack or be smacked world and Steph is just living in it

No one is safe

At least they get a lot of sparring practice

Cass

You would think that having Cass around as a lie detector would be a good idea

And, on paper, you’d be right

She can tell when everyone is lying before they even open their mouths

But…

She’s a little bit more petty than people give her credit for

She Remembers Everything

She ranks siblings in her head based on who has the most indiscretions

Whoever is at the top of the list when something bad happens is the one she will point out as the culprit

And if nothing bad happens? Don’t worry about that, she’ll make something happen

Damian

He definitely gets teased the most because he just happens to be really young

(Doesn’t help that he’s so tiny)

But the moment someone has the audacity to make a joke about him or agree with one of his siblings?

Let’s just say the bats reconsider their No Killing Rule

Damian mentions someone at school being a little snot? Tim and Jason aren’t above throwing hands with children

A teacher gives an unfair grade to him on an assignment? Hope they weren’t expecting to get saved in the next Rogue attack

And god forbid someone call Damian a slur in front of his siblings

He's the baby of the family. What else is there to say?

Duke

He used to be annoyed that he got the reputation as the person in the family with common sense

He’s done so much stupid and dangerous stuff but nooo he’s the sane one

(Granted, he kind of is. It’s not a high bar to meet. Still, he’d like some recognition that he is also completely batshit insane.)

But now…

He realizes there are benefits

Like how he can prank his siblings and no one will ever think he did it

And when no one fesses up because they didn’t do anything? Prank wars ensue

And Duke? Duke gets by unscathed because everyone agrees he wouldn’t be stupid enough to do any of the pranks

Bruce

He has an adoption problem, we all know this

The man practically has adoption papers in his utility belt at this point

The moment a new kid appears in Gotham the batkids all start a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to adopt this one

Most of the time the kids don’t even realize they’re being adopted until it’s too late

“B caught me crying on a rooftop and he disappeared and I was like ‘wow, rude’ but then he came back with some car keys and it may not have fixed my trauma but damn did it feel better to cry in a sports car than on a random gargoyle”

“B gave me an allowance? I was going to say something but this is rent for three months so I guess I’m a bat now?”

Does he even know which kids are his and which aren’t?

(No. He treats every child that frequents his house the exact same because he can’t remember which ones are his and which ones aren’t.)

[doodlevich]

you already know it’s coming, here are some random 11x10 thoughts:

Mickey and Ian just following each other around and being on the same wavelength in the beginning of episode, and then Mickey calling him “red” for the first time in canon (I think) I’m dkfhehdhbsbdf

“Cuff him to the radiator” “FUCK OFF” had me cracking up. Also, Ian being the least sympathetic to Frank is always my favourite through-line he just cannot bring himself to care lmao

Finding out that Frank locked Ian in the basement for 3 days when he was 6 is not surprising but nevertheless made me want to scream

Frank is going down hill fast and I’m-

Kevin was once again enjoyable as all hell throughout this entire episode! From take me out to the ball game to the Oreo mojito, I was laughing so hard

“If he’s poor, accidentally shot during the arrest” Oof I mean true

LIAM IS SO SMART HE’S NUMBER TWO IN HIS CLASS EJFHEBHFHR SOMEONE PRAISE THIS CHILD PLEASE I’M BEGGING

“This is still America, right?” “Are you asking?”

No thoughts, only Tami Tamietti (she’s so beautiful I get shy when I watch her)

Mickey spits out more iconic lines like a Pez dispenser. “Cuz it’s fun to blow shit up, Kermit” “I don’t want to walk up snd down stairs with my bazooka” COMEDY KING, I LOVE YOU MORE EVERY DAY

Franny asking if Uncle Ian and Uncle Mickey can live with them and talking about playing Liquor Store Robbery with Uncle Mickey my whole heart is going to explode

“Is it a home or a safehouse” “same thing” oh Mickey

IAN WANTS A LIL GARDEN SO HE CAN GROW TOMATOES MICKEY PLS TAKE MERCY ON HIM

Mickey especially hating Kermit just makes me laugh so hard it’s so hostile for no apparent reason hahaha

DID IAN JUST CALL HIM... B-BABY I think I might faint

Also Mickey learned how to swim??? good for him

“WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU RUNNING NOBODY’S CHASING YOU” what a grampa also YES

Okay so I do not think that Ian should have signed a lease without Mickey being there, BUT also I think the fact that Mickey isn’t much more angry is a good sign, like he’s grumpy but I think he’ll definitely come around, and while I understand his reservations and not wanting to forget who they are, they both deserve to create something for themselves and I think Mickey will warm up to that idea

“Do you wanna make dinner together 🥺” IAN I’m going to need you to stop being the sweetest man alive right about now

Mickey and Lip letting their frustrations boil over into fucking fighting one another, like I have never seen something so white male in my life

KEVIN AND V ARE SO HAPPY oh my god my heart

“Hit my husband again and I’ll fucking kill you” You tell him, Ian

Franny putting stickers all over the painting like: 😋💞 Ian and Lip like: 😬😵😱

DO NOT RESUSCITATE oh boy Frank

Two episodes left you guys I’m not ready for this. Anyway, until next time!

[dannyboy-writes]

Red stains darker in the snow

The white lights blinded you as they took you to questioning, every cold hall the same sad shade of grey, and at every corner a guard posted. So monotonous. 

Your arms ached from the pressure a random agent was applying, and you couldn’t help but notice the stares coming from every inch of the room. 

Everyone but her. 

On one of the never-ending corridors they opened a steel door into an interrogation room, where they left you there for some time. 

There was close to nothing in the room. One metal table to which you were cuffed to, one very uncomfortable chair on each side of said table, and a mirror. 

As you fiddled with the cuffs the door opened, letting Bailey- or Bell- Barton in with a frown, who looked at the mirror after sparing you a glance, and sat.

“y/n l/n, is that even your name?” He asked, dropping the file.

“Who knows,” you shrugged.

“...fugitive in fifteen countries, twenty two states, wanted for terrorism, murder and the hijack of a high tech plane,” he started as you reminisced on previous assignments. “Where did you take it, the plane.”

“Plage de Carras.”

“Hmm, France. Was it nice?”

“Lovely,” you said with a smile. “You should go, you look like you need more sun.”

He smiled, “I wouldn’t gloat much if I were you. Where you’re going there’s not that much sun.”

“Well, I doubt you found anything at the apartment,” you said as his smile dissipated into the straight line it was at the beginning. “And there’s nothing you can trace me to… So, how would you arrest me? Unless SHIELD has fallen into the dark side of intelligence, alongside Hydra and the CIA-”

“The CIA isn’t Hydra,” he interrupted.

“How not? Hidden government organization, check; based in world domination, check; has multiple hidden bases and severe human rights violations, check and check. 

“Would you stop with the mind games,” he said, resting back in the chair.

“They’re not mind games-” you started.

“You’re a liar,” spat Barton as you looked at him.

“Am I, though?” You nonchalantly asked. 

“You told her you’d change, you’d be better.”

“Oh, that you mean. No, yeah, that was a lie,” you chuckled. “But it’s not like it was a ‘lie’ lie, I mean, she knew I wasn’t going to change. I don’t think it counts as a lie that way, do you?”

“Yes!” He snapped, hitting the metal table. He pinched the bridge of his nose and spoke in a calmer voice, “It counts. Maybe not to someone like you, l/n, but it does.”

“Ooh, not to someone like me,” you mocked. “We’re all the same, Barton. You, her, me. We all sell ourselves, our information, our skills. You do it for your precious America, she used to do it for Russia, I used to do the same. It doesn’t matter who you do it for, you do it. Your SHIELD is not so different from the Red Room, or where I grew up.”

“Where was that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you stated. “The point is, Barton, in this line of work, you have to lie, or you die. It’s that simple. And if you think Natasha over there, behind the mirror, doesn’t lie, you’re dumber than I thought.” 

She had to be behind it, or listening somewhere. She should’ve had the courage to sit in front of you, but apparently she didn’t. Madame B. would be disappointed. 

Barton said nothing, and you continued, “She is behind there, isn’t she? Waiting, calculating. Trying to crack what I’m doing.”

“Maybe,” he said. 

“Well, there’s no need to dwell too much on it. I can tell her myself.” 

“You can tell me,” he said as he scraped the chair to the floor, making you wince.

“Now, where’s the fun in that.”

At that he left, maybe thinking you would crack under the pressure of nobody… What a dumb plan.

A few hours passed and as you were stretching your muscles, the door opened again, this time, with a familiar tone of red walking in. 

“I was beginning to think you were a no show, Red,” you said while she sat in the chair.

She said nothing. 

“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue or something?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said, reading the file Barton had left there. 

There was not much in it, only a few minor inconveniences; still, there were some things that you’d rather forget there too.

“Your new team sucks at making files, by the way. There’s nothing there,” you started, tapping an old rhythm on the table. “I’ve noticed you, Red. You’re becoming sloppy.”

“Maybe I wanted you to notice, hmm. Ever thought of that?” She retorted.

You scoffed, “Now, why would you want that? Got a death wish or something?” 

“You wouldn’t.”

“I’m a changed fella, time does crazy things,” you snickered. 

“Why are you here, y/n?” She finally asked.

“I mean, it’s not like I chose to be here. If I had, there would be less cuffs and more beaches,” you said, tugging the restraints. “Although I do enjoy cuffs under the right circumstances… Remember?” You smirked.

“Fondly,” she met your eyes for the first time since she walked in, making you smile. “So,” she started. “What’s your plan?”

“There’s no plan,” you shrugged. 

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious, no plan. Not a single thing, nada.” 

“No plan,” she said, as you nodded. “So, you knew the team was there…”

“Yup. They’re very sloppy.”

“You let them capture you…”

“Clearly.”

“All for nothing,” she finished.

“Well, not for nothing. I just said I had no plan,” you said.

“So what for then?”

“I was bored,” you stated, wandering your gaze around the room.

“Bored?”

You nodded, “Bored.”

“What, do they have a bad retirement plan at Hydra?”

“Very funny,” you said, a resigned smile on your lips. 

“I’m going to ask again, then, and don’t lie to me. Why are you here?”

You took a deep, sharp breath before saying, “I need help.”

“Help?”

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you said you needed help,” she said in disbelief.

“Well, there’s no need to be smug about it,” you said. “I’m only human, Nat.”

“Doubtful. Go on, help with what?”

“As you know, I’m a wanted criminal in many places,” you said, stopping for her to nod. “And, as you also might know or figure out, some of those places want me to go to their little dark prisons.”

“Which is understandable, considering everything you’ve done.”

“What about what you’ve done, huh Red? You don’t get to pay for those?” You accused, and when she didn’t say anything, added, “Joking.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, some of them want me imprisoned, most want me dead. And it’s catching up, and I can’t avoid it all on my own. So, I’m here in search of help,” you concluded.

“Why should I help you, y/n? We haven’t seen each other in years.”

It was a fair argument.

"I mean, you don't have to help me. By all means, you're free to let me go. In fact, you should. I don't bring anything good to this situation. I'm a fugitive with zero information on anything and a target bigger than my back. Just me.”

She stared at you for a second, “It's not like we had much before.”

“True, we were great,” you mused. “Whatever happened to us?”

“You kept working for Hydra as I left the KGB and joined SHIELD,” she reminded you.

“Well, it’s not like I had much of a choice, Natasha,” you said, getting serious. “You left without saying a word and I had to deal with the consequences. That mission was mine too and you messed it up. Just packed and left. I was left to fend for myself, and try not sell you out.”

She was quiet. Probably had no idea you had suffered for her departure; or that you didn’t sell her out, even if it would’ve meant much less pain for you. 

“I thought about doing it,” you continued. “Sell you out. It would’ve solved many problems.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked without a second thought.

Now you were quiet. Very quiet.

“I- I guess I wanted something good to come out of that mess. I don’t know, I wanted to think you were out, and it was something less to worry about. But it backfired,” you finally said.

“Backfired how?”

“Well, you became the mission after your little escape. And who better than me to find you,” you scoffed. “I mean, they knew everything, Red. Every single thing. Every secret code we had, every place we met at.”

She shook her head, “There’s no way, how would they know?”

“I have no fucking idea how! But they knew,” you shook your head. “Now, there’s no need to get into that. Will you help me?”

She took a deep breath and nodded, “Yes.”

As you were thanking her a knock on the glass stopped you. Natasha left the room and met with a very angry Clint Barton.

“What are you doing, Tasha?” He asked while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“They need help, okay. I have to,” she said.

“You don’t have to do anything. They made their choice a long time ago.”

Natasha only shook her head.

“Why do you still have their back?” He asked.

Ah, the million dollar question.

“We go back, Clint. They've saved me countless times.”

“They’ve tried to kill you as many times as well,” he added.

“You don’t get it. It was my fault,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow for her to continue.

“When I left. When I decided to go with you, I- I didn’t even think of bringing them with. And they suffered because of that choice I made.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said and she looked at him. “Whatever happened to y/n when you left is not your fault.”

“But it is!” She shouted. “It is. And now they need help, and I’m not gonna turn my back on them again, Clint. I can’t.”

Barton was about to say something but he stopped himself. “Okay,” He started. “We’ll help them.”

-

Natasha entered the questioning room some time after leaving you with your thoughts, this time accompanied by Barton. 

“We’ll help,” she only said.

“We?” You asked.

“We,” said Barton. “I’m not going to let you be alone with her.”

“Scared I’ll steal your girlfriend?”

He grabbed the collar of your shirt, “Now, let me be clear with something l/n. Just because we’re helping, doesn’t mean I’ll let you run around like a child in a park. Do you understand me?”

“I understand,” you huffed, throwing your body backwards to get out of his grip. “So, when are we leaving?”

“Leaving?” They both asked in synchrony. 

"You didn't expect us to stay here, right? There's gotta be a safehouse somewhere harder to infiltrate than this place,” you said.

“This place isn’t easy to infiltrate,” Barton defended.

“It is. I did it twice,” you admitted. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.” 

Barton unclasped the cuffs, "Hypothetically speaking, huh? Was that a confession?" 

“No, simply a statement on the security of this place,” you shrugged.

“There’s a safehouse up north,” Natasha said. “But it’s cold this time of year.”

“Please, Red. You grew up in Russia, you gonna tell me a little snow is too much for you?”

“I don’t remember it was me whining about the cold in our stakeouts,” she retorted.

“No, that was because you stole all my jackets and covers and I was left with nothing but light sweaters,” you bickered back while Barton cursed to himself for getting in this mess with you both.

“Alright you two,” he interrupted. “We leave tomorrow.” 

You shook your head, “Now.” 

“We need to prep everything for the trip, and tell Fury about-”

“You’ll tell no one nothing,” you almost shouted, banging your hand on the table. “You can’t,” you said more calmly. 

“Why not?” Natasha asked. 

“Because- It’s imperative that no one knows about this.”

“We can trust Fury,” said Barton. 

“You can’t trust anyone,” you spat. “Not if you want to live. We leave tonight. Is there a car we can take?” You asked, looking at Natasha who was silent.

She knew you were right. After all, not long ago, SHIELD was infiltrated by Hydra. 

“There’s a car,” she said, while Barton stared at her. “That’s how we stayed alive.” 

He sighed loudly in defeat as you stared blankly at the metal table. “Okay, we take the car and head north to the safehouse. Then what?”

“Then we wait,” you said. 

“Wait for what,” asked Natasha.

“For my contact.” 

The mildly hard part of the plan was escaping from SHIELD headquarters, but even that wasn’t so hard. Next, you all found your way to a car parked at the last level of a parking lot, under some dusty blankets. 

Natasha started driving and when she got tired Barton took over, while she slept on the back, which made the car’s habitacle a tense place. 

Neither Barton nor you said a single word for the time Natasha was asleep; there wasn’t even a single stare between the both of you. 

When Natasha woke up you decided you were going to drive a bit, to get your mind busy on something; so with Natasha as the copilot you took the wheel, and it wasn’t until she was sure Clint was asleep that she spoke.

“Okay, what are you not saying?”

 “What,” you asked.

“Something is different,” she started. “What is it?”

“You mean besides the fact that multiple governments want me dead?”

“I don’t buy that. Countries have wanted you dead for years, why does it matter now?”

You sighed staring at the newfound snow on the route, “It’s nothing.”

She wanted to say something, to protest against your lack of answer but she didn’t.

You got to the safehouse after almost an hour of thick, sickening silence, and Natasha would’ve preferred a millennia of quiet instead of what she heard. 

One piercing bullet sound, and you falling to your knees.

While Clint left to find whoever had fired the gun Natasha froze still in the white before falling to her knees with you, cradling you.

“You’ll be okay,” she said, applying pressure on your abdomen. “Everything will be okay.”

You managed a crooked smile and a reassuring look before placing your hand on her cheek, “It’s okay, Red. It’s okay.”

She held your hand and kept repeating the same four words on and on, and she didn’t realise when you drifted off to sleep until it was too late; when she was covered in your blood on the white snow. 

She stayed there, by the car, covered in a mix of blood and snow and hugged you. It wasn’t until she saw Clint coming back with defeat plastered on his face that she realised what’d happened. 

He helped her into the safehouse and brought your lifeless body, covering it with a sheet. 

“Did you find whoever did this?” She asked after a long time of silence.

“I only found the gun,” he said.

“We’ll find them.”

[bluejayblueskies]

spare headcanons for my boy martin ????

send a character's name to receive four different headcanons!

Headcanon A:  realistic

martin doesn't drink because he's on antidepressants. during jon's birthday party, he has like... two sips of wine and immediately worries that it's going to interact negatively with his medication. (the kind he's on has increased risk of seizures with alcohol consumption and he doesn't like to take the risk.) the only person he explains this to is jon, and it's when they're at the safehouse and jon gets some wine and martin declines a glass and jon remembers and is like 'oh right you don't drink wine' and martin's like 'actually i don't drink at all.'

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

martin's dad is leitner. i know this isn't realistic bc if martin looks like his dad, jon would have seen leitner in mag80 and been like 'oh that's just martin' but i still think the implications of it are hilarious. sometime mid-season four jon's thinking about martin and gets a random burst of Knowing and is like 'oh my god. his father is jurgen leitner? stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn--'

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

martin and jon kissed/declared their love for each other before the unknowing. i know everybody's kind of jumping on this bandwagon lately but i've uh been obsessed with it for a while because of the sheer bittersweet angst potential of it. martin is still nervous and scared but also so hopeful because jon loves him too and they're going to get dinner when he comes back and it'll be wonderful. then, basira calls and tells him quietly that she's the only one who made it out, and everything falls apart.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

jon knew martin pre-canon, and jon actually had a crush on martin long before martin had a crush on him. unrealistic for about a million different reasons but very fun to play with. i say 'jon knew martin' because they never really interacted or spent time together, but jon kept seeing martin in the break room and the library and would hear him talk and would definitely not eavesdrop on his conversations, what are you talking about? and jon started to develop one of those crushes that you get on somebody that you don't really know but really really want to, but he didn't really get crushes easily and didn't know what to do with it so whenever martin saw him and said hi to him or whatever, jon would get nervous and throw up his 'stiff professional' persona to deal with it. martin had no clue about any of this until the safehouse when jon admitted it with his face buried in a pillow, feeling very embarrassed about the whole thing. martin is incredibly charmed.