#B/c spoilers ish?

[inkyprince]

11. For any characters bcs i have yet to learn about any of em :3

*Rubs my little gremlin hands together*

11. Biggest fear: (click on names to see image references!)

(Under the cut b/c long)

SD-I: SD-I’s biggest fear is loosing control of their own body. Not in a metaphorical sense, in a literal sense. Kei constantly pushes their buttons, attempting to get them to let their guard down, because the two of them are quite litteraly stuck together. It’s a constant fight to see who gets control and while there are lulls in the fights, it’s always a constant fear in SD-I’s mind.

Kei: (Image is of drone form for funsies but ‘true’ form will always be SD-I’s tail) Kei’s biggest fear isn’t being trapped (despite being part of SD-I), it’s the fear of not existing. They ultimately wish to gain ‘control’ so they don’t have to worry about being killed, wanting to be freed from just one drone, to being able to exist in multiple. (Solver host situation ish) They are confined specifically to SD-I’s core and therefore making them susceptible to anything that happens to SD-I. While they can alter SD-I whenever SD-I looses ‘control’, it only goes so far. So they wish to be free to be able to not get locked into a single specific drone.

Ssam: Ssam’s biggest fear at it’s core is also being controlled. There’s a lot more nuances to it of course. She wishes to be in control of her own life and own will, being a DD and knowing that she was made for a single purpose with no self control was something she was terrified of. She did eventually get free of the AS control (only to sign a deal with another devil) but the fear remains there. After all, fears don’t have to be rational :3

Ssara: Ssara’s biggest fear is the fear of being abandoned. It’s happened many times in the past, and it still scares her. As such she can form unhealthy and codependent relations with others (all kinds). Which also makes the fear of being abandoned that much worse. After all who wants to hang around a broken drone? : 3

[officiallanxichen]

[Image description: a stock photo of a man in a banana costume posing cheerfully. End image description.]

jim knee 😌

[sundial-girl]

Creature

oh its been years....

[preciouspatriots]

across the spiderverse made me feel emotions i didn’t know were possible but am sure i will never have again

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

Some sketches of my wizard Peri as I (slowly) work my way through Act III

[rebelfell]

for your viewing pleasure┃vol. 1

pornstar!eddie x director!reader

all my pornstar!eddie blurbs together at last b/c I hated how I published them originally. the og posts are still here, but they have been edited/expanded somewhat for this collection.

and I’ve included a “finale” of sorts that is new!

index for this story is here.

cw: pornstar!au, so…porn. but it’s also a kind of fantasy porn company/industry, so not really at all based in reality or fact. sex work, oral sex (f & m rec), public-ish sex, piv sex.

18+, MDNI┃8.7k

special thanks to @urhoneycombwitch for helping come up with like 90% of this via mutual flailing in my inbox 🥰 ilyaaf

After dark thoughts about pornstar!eddie…who gets fired from his first job.

Because he’s great at sex, but bad at porn.

So, so, so bad. Like, he’s incredible at eating pussy, but incredible because he does it with his whole face completely buried in his co-star. We’re talking fully and wholly submerged in her folds, as though she’s his breathing apparatus.

And that’s great for her, but terrible for camera.

They keep stopping him, telling him he has to pull it back, that they have to see her pussy and they can’t with his big head and bigger hair blocking their view. But much like a dog that’s been told to leave a treat where it is, he keeps edging closer and moving back in little by little until he’s right back where he wants to be—and they’re yelling “CUT” and scolding him all over again.

And the girl is getting frustrated because, like, she’s about to actually come and she looks at the director with this look of pure desperation and ‘just do me this solid—please?’ in her eyes.

So he finally lets Eddie get her off and just films super tight on her face and her trembling legs so it’s really obvious how real it really is.

And so they can move the fuck on already.

Then they’re filming the fucking, and once again Eddie is fucking like he would fuck in real life and the way he fucks in real life is Not. Good. Porn.

He’s not just slamming into her without any care; he’s not using her to get off; he’s trying to make it good for her. And it is very, very good for her.

Like so good, she’s this close to giving him her number once they wrap for the day.

Her boyfriend of six years be damned.

And once they wrap, Eddie’s not exactly “fired” but he’s pretty sure he’s not getting called back.

Except then the movie comes out and BLOWS UP. People are obsessed. Women are buying it in droves (who knew women even watched porn??) and the VHS is back-ordered to shit.

So the production company is like, “We gotta lock this kid into a contract. Now.”

And just so we’re clear, he gets that contract. 

But he (rightfully) feels like he has a bit of juice behind him and refuses to work with that director ever again. And they agree to his terms, but that first guy is hardly an anomaly and Eddie is still butting heads with these other ass hats who keep trying to force him to do it their way.

“My buddy, my guy, my man, you’re fucking her like she’s a person and that’s not gonna sell. It may have worked for you before, but no way does lightning strike the same dick twice.”

So Eddie walks. And he’s ready to call it quits entirely…until you approach him.

Because you are former talent, trying to branch out and direct, but no one will take you seriously. So you went to the heads of production and told them even if all they gave you was a shoestring budget and one Eddie Munson, you can spin some gold. Spoiler alert—you do.

You come to Eddie with your vision of porn for women: story-based, more realistic dialogue, and real orgasms. Some of the same tropes, but done in a way that doesn’t feel so tired and gross and vapid and soulless. Something new.

Something different. Something special.

And, oh. He is so on board with that.

Meanwhile, back in Hawkins, the rumor mill is milling. Because how in the hell did Eddie “The Freak” Munson become a sex symbol overnight? It has to be a deal with the devil—that’s the only possible explanation, right? He clearly sold his soul for a magic cock and a porn career.

And Steve Harrington is LIVID.

He would have bet his entire college tuition Eddie was a virgin, but now every babe who comes into Family Video is renting that damn tape.

They’re literally pouring in looking for it, marching straight to the back, going behind that red curtain where normally only the creepers go. And they don’t so much as blush when Steve scans it.

Robin teases him about it mercilessly. Tells him maybe if he watches it, he’ll pick up some new moves. And, like, Steve has watched plenty of porn. He can’t imagine Eddie is doing anything that earth-shattering. There’s only so much to it, you know? People must just be caught up in the novelty of it being someone that they kind-of sort-of know. It will wear off, it has to.

Then he watches it.

And, oh…Steve has been doing sex all wrong.

For one, he wasn’t going down on girls. He just wasn’t. He’s not like…against it, or anything. But he sort of didn’t realize that was a thing? He lost his virginity in high-school for fuck’s sake—what did he know besides porn and magazines? And that was all the same, so wasn’t that what girls wanted? (Oh, you sweet summer dingus, Robin would shake her head and lament later.)

Secondly…the girls he was with never sounded like that. And he never realized just how fake all those other “orgasms” in porn sounded until he heard the real deal. Now he can’t un-hear it.

From that day forward, for almost two months, they are short one copy of Eddie’s tape because Steve snuck it home in his bag one night after closing. For research purposes only.

No, seriously.

Eddie is a fucking star. Literally.

The second you and he get together, (in a, ahem, professional sense) something shifts. It feels like a long-laid plan plotted from a distant corner of the vast universe has finally come to fruition.

Your first tape is a smash. The camera you get is barely a step up from a hand-held camcorder, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. Even with a bare bones crew (you wind up doing a lot of the sound, the lighting, the editing yourself) and everyone doubting you from the jump, it’s a hit.

The concept isn’t anything crazy—Eddie shows up to deliver a pizza, and instead the girl accepts his delivery. But you add a twist: the pizza is for a poker game her boyfriend is hosting. He canceled date night for it and she’s been sitting out here all alone while they play in the other room.

Not on Eddie’s watch.

He goes to town on her, bringing her to the brink three or four times while her boyfriend’s pizzas go cold on the countertop. You push the camera in close on both of them, really trying to give the sense of Eddie as a person. So he’s not just another disembodied guy with a nice dick.

Although his is very, very nice.

His personality shines through when he does things like hike her leg up to fuck into her pussy deeper, chasing her pleasure like her high is his own; and when he grins down at her all devilishly as she tries to stifle her sounds so her “boyfriend” won’t hear; or when Eddie mocks her, making her own little whines and huffs and squeals right back at her in a way that is so infuriatingly hot.

He talks her through it, locking those big brown eyes of his on her, clutching the back of her neck while she tries to block her moans, until at last she can’t hold it back any longer and explodes.

And you have the sound guy stand off to the side and call out, “Everything okay in there, babe?” after she’s done. Nothing but a shuddering, trembling mess on a black leather sofa.

Cut. Print. That’s a wrap, folks.

Eddie is a dream to work with. He’s collaborative and creative; he communicates effectively and often. You guys are like two halves of the same brain, often anticipating what the other wants before they even know it themselves.

It’s alarming, almost. To be seen so clearly.

Even short on crew, equipment, time, money—you can’t seem to fail when you’re together.

The one thing you’re never short on is actresses. Ever since Eddie’s first tape came out, word of mouth (pun intended) has spread. Rapidly. And since you know most of them, you know who to hire. You know which ones are the flakes, which ones are divas, which ones will vibe best with the kind of set experience you’re trying to create. So Eddie trusts your judgment, completely.

He just waits for you to tell him who he’s fucking and then he does it. And he does it so well.

The fucker has chemistry with everyone—down to the guy who brings the sandwiches when you break for lunch. He’s so charming and funny and considerate practically to a fault. He’s fully dialed in from the moment he steps on set to when you wrap for the day. And afterwards, he’s checking in with you, making sure you got exactly what you wanted, asking if you want anything else, if you need him to stay because he’ll be happy to.

It’s…completely and utterly disarming.

He has every right to be a full blown asshole. This entire venture hinges on him and his magic dick, so his head should be as big as a hot air balloon. But he doesn’t ever stray from that unflagging decency that’s so rare in this industry. 

And you pray he never will.

It’s Eddie who pitches your next film.

He’s got this notion of a good girl—a cheerleader—who’s having a hard time and goes looking for weed from the mean and scary tattooed dealer.

(One guess who’s playing him.)

Except he’s not so mean and scary. He’s actually kind of a goof, mock-stabbing himself in the heart and flailing around like a clown, throwing himself off the picnic bench you and he dragged out to this clearing at the ass crack of dawn.

All part of the vision, he assured you.

They look great on camera. His dark, wild hair and clothes and everything in direct contrast to her sweet, round face and bright pastel hues and soft waves. Chemistry’s off the charts, as usual. She starts out really nervous and fidgety, but he makes her comfortable and flirts, offers the bud at a discount. And then her brow cocks daringly and she asks if he has anything…stronger.

Cut to her being eaten out like a banquet spread out on this table in the middle of the forest.

It’s oddly lush and romantic with the rich color of the leaves and the dappled sunlight that filters in through the branches—a foil to the lewdness of their acts and their wanton sounds. 

And when they’re dressed down to nothing, bare skin on bare skin on gray weathered wood, they look almost like forest nymphs or elves caught up in the throes of passion, secluded in the trees.

Especially with the leaves still clinging to Eddie’s hair from when he fell off the table.

Not for the first time, you feel a certain twinge of something that squirms low in the pit of your stomach while you watch them.

Except you’re not watching them…because you can’t take your eyes off of him.

After you wrap, he hangs back. Asks what you thought of the shoot while he helps break down the equipment. Blushes when you tell him you loved it and how good he looked. Explains how it was inspired by these daydreams he used to have about this one girl he knew in high-school.

And you almost, almost, ask him about her—but you’re cut off by a PA who runs up in a panic.

The studio is calling, and they’re pissed.

They’ve just gotten a look at the contract you had drawn up. Rights to a boutique company under their banner, unlimited use of their distribution channels. Full creative control and intellectual property rights to anything and everything.

Plus exclusive use of Eddie.

(Effectively nullifying that horseshit deal they originally gave him for a much, much better one.)

You know they’re gonna fight you on a lot of it—you swung big so you’d have plenty of room to negotiate—but it will all be worth it when they fold. Because you and Eddie have big plans.

You both know you’re onto something special and you’re in it together, to the end of the line.

Apparently, Eddie is also interested in editing.

He shows up to the production offices on a day he’s supposed to be off, but knows you have the editing bay reserved. Brings you coffee and an egg sandwich like a literal angel on earth.

An angel dressed like the devil, maybe. Because he’s got on this tank top with arm holes that’ve been stretched way, way beyond their natural elasticity, drooping down around his ribs and flashing glimpses of his tattoos and the tops of his obliques. And you aren’t entirely sure why you’re getting all hot and bothered over a tank top when there’s not a single intimate inch of his        body you haven’t already seen up close and personal through your viewfinder.

In fact, it’s the same body you’re watching fuck the shit out of that girl on the picnic table from a few days ago. And he’s wearing a whole lot less than a tank top.

You share a brief chuckle over it—the fact that his bare ass is flickering on three screens while you scroll through footage. And it’s not so much that it’s awkward, more like you’re mutually tickled by the fact that it’s not? There’s not an ounce of self-consciousness left between you two.

In a way, it’s like there never was.

He asks if you want any help, or if you mind him sitting in. He’s interested in the process, thinks it might help him on set too. There’s such a rich vein of enthusiasm and curiosity in him, a real thirst to be better and to learn. It’s ridiculous it took him three tries to graduate.

You think it’s a great idea…at first.

But then you’re watching him on the screen with him sitting right next to you. His earthy, woodsy scent layered with the smell of his soap in your nose; his recorded grunts and groans of pleasure in your ears coming through your headphones that are starting to slicken with the sweat.

It’s all wildly distracting. And you must be some kind of masochist, because (not for the first time) you can’t help but wonder how he makes all these women come the way they do.

“So, uh, what…what exactly are you doing here?”

You clear your throat, trying to cover the tremor in your voice as you ask. Eddie scoots in closer, his eyes darting between yours and the screen as he describes the way he’s using his tongue, swirling it around the edges of her entrance, plunging it deep inside her while his nose pushes firmly on her clit. Pretending not to notice your chest heaving with his every word.

“How do you even breathe?” you chuckle.

“I find my moments,” he says.

Smirks back. Winks.

And uh-oh. When did his hand touch your knee? When did he start to rub his thumb over your bare skin through the hole in your jeans? When did his long, ringed fingers start to curl under your thigh to squeeze it? When did he start to lean further into your space? When did you get so wet?

He’s close now. It wouldn’t take anything for you to bridge the gap and let your lips meet his. You can’t, though. You don’t. Because it would be so…stupid. It would be wrong and bad, and it could jeopardize both of your careers. Everything you’re working towards, totally gone.

You’re starting the porn for women movement, here. You can’t fuck your first star!

And you don’t. You keep it professional. You tell him you’re going to call it a day and head home so he’ll do the same. But later that night, when he calls with some new ideas for a script, asking if he can run a few lines by you (just to know how it sounds out loud, you know?), and you wind up having the most insane, mind-blowing phone sex of your entire life…Well, that’s different.

That’s totally and completely different.

The next time you see him, it’s business as usual.

You knew it would be. You two are nothing if not consummate professionals, fully committed to this endeavor. Neither of you would dare let your goals be derailed by a silly little crush.

And it is just a crush. It has to be.

Just the natural result of working so closely with him; of seeing him so completely in his element; appreciating his work ethic and his creativity.

Not to mention the fact that you are consistently watching him have the hottest sex you’ve ever seen in your life. But that’s unrelated.

The next shoot is your biggest yet. It’s at this massive mansion that you’re dressing to look like a spa with two massage tables set up by the pool that looks like something straight out of a resort.  Eddie is playing a masseur who offers a lonely, neglected housewife consolation in the form of his cock after her husband chooses work over their couples massage.

After the success of the pizza delivery tape, you think it’s best you lean hard into the “Eddie fucks it better” sort of storylines.

Because why not play to your strengths?

Except that the call time of your female lead has come and gone and she’s nowhere to be found. You know Trina, this isn’t like her, she’s never late. But you called and got no answer. Twice.

The light is perfect, everyone’s in place…but there’s no one for Eddie to fuck.

Even if you could get a replacement, it would take at least an hour for anyone to get out here and that was being generous. By then, the shoot would be way behind and you’ve literally only got today in this stupid model home before some fucking billionaire moves in tomorrow.

It’s gonna be a massive loss of time and money if you don’t think of something. Like, right now.

Eddie can see you’re stressed. He comes over and you huddle by your storyboards. And neither of you has to say it, but you both are thinking the exact same thing. As per usual.

You could do it.

You’re here, for one. And you’ve done this plenty of times. It just makes good business sense.

It’s been a while, and you’re not quite “camera-ready” after not having to be for the past couple of months, but you and Eddie have been talking about using more normal-looking bodies; bodies that jiggled and had hair where it grew naturally and are authentically real, regular bodies.

The camera guys know what sort of shots you want and you’ve got a bigger crew now—people who know your vision and can help bring it forth.

Plus, you’ll be with Eddie. You know he’ll take care of you. He’ll be sure that you get exactly what you need, no matter what. You’d bet your life on it.And, well…you and he did just rehearse your lines the other night.

The shoot is…interesting.

From the outside, it goes great. Perfect, even. Eddie looks all kinds of cute in his white polo and white pants. He’s got his long hair twisted up off his neck, a few loose tendrils framing his face. 

And you somehow forgot until he puts his hands on you the first time that the whole concept for this shoot was born out of the fact that he actually went to massage school for real.

Before you even get to the sex stuff, you’re putty in his hands. He moves them up and down your calves, slides his thumbs over your muscles in a dizzying pattern en route to your thighs. 

You’re not even faking the deep moans of relief you let out as he moves up higher and higher… arousal promptly pooling between your legs.

He starts going through his lines, striking that perfect balance between his casual, trying-to-be professional voice, while slowly getting more and more desperate and possessive. 

As if he’s constantly fighting the urge to take you right then. Right now.

Telling you how awful it is your husband chose work over you like this; how you should always be his number one priority; how Eddie would never let you out of his sight if you were his…

His hands reach your ass and he grips one round globe in each, spreading you apart so he (and the camera) can see how you glisten, the sunlight reflecting like it does off the water in the pool.

You wait for his next line—when he offers you a very ‘special’ massage with a ‘special’ technique he ‘doesn’t use on just anyone.’ 

But Eddie goes off script.

He licks a fat, wide stripe directly through your folds and your head pops out of the little headrest at the end of the table, the pure shock and delight on your face captured instantly by the camera.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he pleads, his tongue still swirling in between the words muffled by your ass cheeks, like he can’t stand to take it away, even to speak. “I had to taste you…”

“It’s okay,” you moan, voice nearly cracking in a dry sob, “It’s okay, just please don’t stop—���

And he doesn’t. He keeps going until you come, until you’re reaching back behind you to grip his hair as you push your hips back to meet every thrust of his perfect tongue. From there, it’s back to regularly scheduled fucking. He stays on script, peppering in the sort of ad-libs he knows from experience get a good reaction every time—

That’s it sweetheart, you’re doing so well for me.

Your husband doesn’t know what he’s missing.

This pussy is all mine now, you understand?

And, yeah, that stuff gets you off, no problem. But it’s the other stuff he does—the quieter, subtle things you aren’t expecting—that really push you over the edge again and again. And again.

It’s the things he whispers (actually whispers, not stage whispers) low in your ear so you’re the only one who can hear. You feel way too good/I gotta slow down or I’m gonna come/I know you faked that last one, gimme a real one now—

It’s…it’s almost too much. You knew he’d be good, you just didn’t expect how good. 

And you definitely didn’t expect to feel the way you do when he checks in between takes: asking if you want more or less of anything, making sure he’s not being too rough, telling you how great you’re doing, apologizing again for that initial snafu. It makes you all…fluttery.

But it’s not until after you wrap for the day, after you’ve gotten in the shower at home and start to wash off the massage oil spread all over your skin, that you realize Eddie never kissed you.

Not once.

When Eddie calls later that week, it’s to ask you out. Not on a date, though. 

Which is good. Really, it is. A relief, even. Because contrary to the way your heart leapt into your throat when he asked if you were busy this weekend, you absolutely cannot date him.

It doesn’t matter that you’re attracted to him. Or that you came out of your eyeballs multiple times with him the other day. Or that you haven’t been able to think about anything besides him since.

You. Can’t. Date.

You’re pretty much his boss, don’t forget. Maybe not technically, maybe not on paper—but if you start something up with him, it will be messy and complicated and it could put everything you and he have worked for in jeopardy. More than that, you don’t want anyone thinking he got where he is by any other means besides his hard work (pun intended). He’s earned everything he’s gotten.

And now that includes an award.

That’s what he’s calling about. He’s been nominated for what is essentially the porn equivalent of an Oscar for that first tape he made. And now he has to go to this ceremony, except he’s sort of freaking out because he’s never done anything like this before and he’s really nervous and he kind of needs you there because ‘you’re the only one I’m always comfortable with.’

So he asks if you’ll go with him. As friends.

And you say you will. And it’s fine. You can do this, you can do this, you can do this—FUCK. 

Why does he have to be so hot? Showing up in a black Prada suit with a sheer shirt underneath? Almost as bad as wearing nothing under it at all. Worse, maybe.

It’s unbuttoned nearly to the middle of his torso, layered chains dangling low, hanging around that tree trunk of a neck you can’t stop wishing you could sink your teeth into, wrap a hand around—

Nope. Nope. You’re not going there. The only place you’re going tonight is these awards.

Except when you get there, the organizers don’t want you photographed with Eddie. At least not arriving together. People still aren’t familiar with you as a director, and you haven’t starred in a project in months. That’s practically a century in porn time.

Plus, the tape Eddie is nominated for you didn’t even work on. It wouldn’t make any sense.

Eddie is immediately poised to protest, but neither of you is given much of an opportunity. While you’re shuffled into the long line of people already being photographed in front of the venue, he’s being whisked away so he can walk with the girl he starred in that very first film with.

You know her, sort of. You did a group scene once upon a time. She’s a biter.

They even sneak him into her limo so it looks like they came together. He gets out first and then holds out a hand to help her, a storm of flash bulbs going off, making her jumpsuit sparkle.

And you tell yourself not to watch. You try to smile pretty for your own pictures and look like you are having a good time. Or at least not look like you’re chewing on glass. But it’s…difficult.

Especially when you look up at the worst possible time—the exact moment she places a dainty hand on his chest and he turns his face toward hers, their lips meeting for a long kiss. 

Long enough for every camera there to capture it.And the very last shot they get of you that night is one of your back as you head inside to get a drink. Or ten. Trying not to think about this sour, putrid, inconvenient feeling in your chest.

Eddie should have walked with you. 

He should have done a lot of things, actually.

He should have told those uppity event coordinators to fuck off. He should have ignored that girl from his first film when she whispered under her breath for him to look at her. He should have dodged that sticky, tacky kiss she planted on his lips without any kind of warning.

He should have asked you out for real instead of hiding behind this ‘as friends’ bullshit.

Maybe if he had, he’d be tasting your lipgloss instead of the glittery mess he was wiping off his chin. Maybe it would be your hand in his as you walked the carpet. And maybe it would be him getting you a drink and clinking his glass with yours instead of the guy you’re with right now.

Eddie knows him. Well, he doesn’t know him, he recognizes him from a tape with some absurd name like Sex Kittens 4 that featured a surprising amount of doggy style, considering the title.

Plus you in a never-ending stream of animal-print bikinis.

(He definitely did NOT go looking for every movie you’d ever made. No, that would be ridiculous. He just sort of…happened across one. Or five.)

And it’s not that he’s jealous—because there’s nothing to be jealous of. You met him doing a job. A job very much like the one you did with Eddie. You’re just catching up with an old coworker.

It’s fine. Totally fine. Did he mention it’s fine?

But then Tom Wanks put his hand on your hip, and before Eddie can take even a second to think, or to rationalize his actions, he’s striding up to you and taking your hand to drag you away.

The beaded fringe on your dress swishes noisily as he brings you with him behind a curtain that was set up as a backdrop for more photos. In the shadows behind it, your eyes glint a little meanly and your voice is barbed when you ask what the hell is the matter with him.

And he’s really not sure.

Because much like you, he’s not used to this; he’s not used to not saying exactly what is on his mind at any given time; he’s not used to holding anything back—not when it comes to you.

“I should have stayed with you,” he blurted out at last. “That was messed up, I—”

Your face falls and you dodge his gaze. “It’s fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about it.”

“But I am worried about it,” he shot back. “I could have said something, I could have told them—”

“What for?” you mutter, arms crossing in front of your chest. You look at the floor, hurt. Not just hurt, disappointed. “I mean, what…what would be the point? It’s not like we’re…or that you’re…”

He watches the words stall behind your lips, all of them trying to fight their way out like people on a crowded bus. But in their efforts, they only wind up clogging the exit so nothing gets through.

“God, listen to me!” you laugh bitterly. “I sound like some crazy, jealous…something, and I don’t know why I’m getting this upset when you don’t even like me—”

“Wait, what? Who the fuck said that?”

He can tell you’re shocked by the panic that rises in his voice, staring back at him wide-eyed.

“Wh-when we were filming, you never kissed me. So I thought…”

You fell silent as Eddie’s hands covered the sides of your face. Softly cradling your jaw, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks, he stares straight into your eyes and determinedly holds your gaze. 

Your breath stuttered, so lost in those deep brown pools you could hardly recall your own name. And even if you could speak, you weren’t entirely sure what you wanted to say.

Luckily, Eddie gave you something better to do with your mouth.

His lips meet yours in a gentle brush. His hold on your face never tightens, but you can feel the way his fingers flex like he’s resisting the urge to grip you harder. There’s a tenacity in his kiss, as if he’s trying to savor the taste of you, but struggling not to devour you whole.

You break apart too soon for his liking. He easily would have stayed there forever. And he braces himself for whatever might be coming—a slap across his face, a knee straight to his balls.

He might deserve both, but receives neither.

You don’t pull back so much as an inch, happy to let him keep your face close to his. He inhales shakily, still breathing you in, “I didn’t want the first time I did that to be on camera.”

You chuckle at him, dazed and grinning, trying to decide if this is a dream or not. If it is, you don’t ever want to wake up. You want to live in it. Your own hands creep up his stomach, tugging on his silky shirt, feeling the way he shivers in it when he feels the caress of your fingertips.

“What about the second?” you whisper.

And then he’s kissing you again.

Deeper. Hungrier. Messier.

He’s not kissing you like it’s his job; like he’s just doing what was written for him in a script—he’s doing it like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, desired, chosen to do. Like it’s all he needs.

Your bare back meets the cool wall as he pushes you up against it, sliding his hand inside the slit of your dress, hooking it under your knee to hitch your leg over his hip. He presses every single inch of himself against your seam, harder than he’s ever been in his whole fucking life.

The closest second being when you and he filmed just a few days ago.

You claw at him, pushing his suit jacket off his shoulders, pulling open more buttons on his shirt until the gossamer fabric tears and unravels.

“More,” he begs, kisses trailing down your neck. “Fucking please, sweetheart, I need more—”

Your hand takes on a life of its own, sliding down to cup his length through the luxurious suiting. It causes him to release a deep, desperate moan you can feel his lips spreading apart to let out. The sound of it ripples through your body like an electric shock in every extremity.

The dull roar of the crowd right on the other side of that curtain is only barely enough to cover the sound of you and Eddie’s passions. His touch is so enthralling, so engrossing, you are this close to letting him fuck you right there.

Room full of people be damned.

Eddie seems to have the same idea, his mouth blazing a trail down the middle of your chest and stomach as he drops to one knee, his other foot planted to support himself as he drapes your leg over his shoulder. A rush of excitement floods your body as you realize his intentions, fingers sliding into his unruly curls to grip them at the crown of his head.

But the very second his fingers pull your panties to the side and his tongue finds its home in your folds, a commotion breaks through your bliss.

There’s a loud crash as a cater waiter stumbles into the curtain obscuring your entangled bodies and drags it down with them as they fall.

Light floods the darkened space and a sound of collective amusement ripples through the crowd. No one is exactly surprised to see people hooking up—but it’s usually not until the afterparty.

Cocktail hour isn’t even over, for crying out loud.

Then they realize who it is.

The shutters of opportunistic photographers snap as you give Eddie’s hair a sharp tug. But he just moans loudly—too absorbed in what he’s doing to even realize what’s happened.

Finally, you pull him off your clit and he looks over his shoulder at the rest of the room.

Another round of snaps and flashes go off and his eyes return to yours, brightening when he sees the way you’re covering your mouth, fighting back laughter. His own lips, still shiny with your arousal, spread into a wide grin. His gaze lands on an emergency exit and he jumps to his feet, taking your hand in his and pulling you towards it tucked securely under his arm.

Flipping off the room behind him as you leave.

Together.

The trip back to your apartment is the longest cab ride of your life.

Whereas on the way to the convention center, you’d ridden mashed against your door trying to leave a respectable distance across the middle seat, Eddie practically has you in his lap on the way back. It’s like he thinks he’ll die if he stops touching you for even a second—lips on your neck, his hands roaming hungrily, whispering filth in your ear under the cover of the radio.

You do your best to catch the driver’s eye in the rearview, trying to shoot him an apologetic look or at least mouth a wholly insincere ‘sorry’ for the display. But he seems unphased.

Still, you stuff a wad of extra bills in his hand as you scramble out of his car. Unceremoniously crashing through the front door, you’re lucky not to break it down in your haste to get Eddie inside.

Of your apartment, that is.

Lips locked for every step across your cramped studio, you tumble to the bed and let out a soft grunt when a plastic hanger digs into your back. Hearing you yelp, Eddie pulls back and can see you’re lying on top of the ten or so discarded outfits you went through trying to decide on what to wear tonight. Sequins rustle under your bodies as the bed shakes with your gentle laughter, and Eddie drops a kiss to the tip of your nose before he climbs off you. Reluctantly.

He watches while you gather the dresses strewn across the bed, smiling when you try and stuff them back in your closet, fumbling with only the amber street light filtering through your blinds to see by. When you finally turn back to face him, he’s still smiling. Head tilted at you, eyes slowly raking over your form, heart rate picking up in his chest when yours do the same to him.

The pause is nice. It gives you both a minute to catch your breaths, for your brains to catch up with your bodies. Your steps turn careful and slow as you move towards him. With trembling fingers, he pulls open the last remaining buttons of his sheer shirt and lets it fall to his feet.

Remembering only just now that his jacket is still on the floor of that hotel ballroom.

You come to a stop in front of him and he closes the distance left. He reaches around you and pulls down the zipper of your dress, fingertips dragging lightly along your spine as he reveals it.

It’s the closest you’ve ever come to feeling like a gift someone is unwrapping.

With your dress pooled around your ankles, Eddie’s hands are free to wander. He runs them up and down your arms, sweeping them along the inside of your wrists to twine your fingers with his. He brings them to his lips to kiss and the sight of plush pink brushing your knuckles is bordering on being too much to handle—more erotic than anything you’ve ever filmed.

He’s going slow because it’s slowly dawning on him what you’re about to do. 

And how this time it’s not going to be for work or for a camera. It’s going to be real. 

Except…is it going to be real?

Should he do something different than what he did when you filmed? How can he, when he used all his best moves during the shoot? Shit…

He doesn’t want you thinking he’s just doing with you the same thing he does with everyone else; that this—that you—aren’t special to him.

Then suddenly, he’s not going slow anymore.

He’s stopped completely.

“You okay?” you whisper.

“Y-yeah,” he chokes out, like the word is made of sawdust. “I just, ahhh…I don’t know, I think I’m psyching myself out? Thinking too hard.”

“Thinking about what?” you whisper, your teeth tugging back your bottom lip.

His head just shakes, eyes still scanning your face while his thumb lightly strokes your jaw, until he lets out a sigh that’s heavy with fondness and whispers, “How I don’t want to mess this up.”

He takes another deep breath, letting his forehead rest against your own as his chest shudders. Confounded as to how something he’s done in front of a whole-ass camera crew could make him feel so self-conscious when it’s just you here with him. A few seconds of silence pass until his lips part in a smirk and his gaze cuts to the side, right to where a camera would be.

“Is it just me…or does it feel like something is missing?”

It takes a few minutes of digging to find your old camcorder buried in the depths of your closet. 

Eddie chuckles when you emerge, brandishing it with a flourish and a little ta-da! before you set it on top of your dresser pointed at the bed, angling it slightly to properly frame the shot.

The red light blinks as you hit ‘record,’ barely taking a second to check if there’s a tape inside. You let it run, capturing your figures half in shadows as he sits on the bed and pulls you into his lap. He helps you settle on his thighs, runs his hands up the backs of yours, slips his long fingers under the elastic band of your panties to rest on your hip. He pulls them back and snaps them softly on your skin, earning a hum of approval from behind your pressed lips.

You wriggle on top of him and delight in how it makes his chest reverberate with a low groan.

“That better?” you whisper, the answer to your question immediately stiffening underneath you. He nods fervently, his voice tight and strained as he struggles to keep his cool.

“Wanna taste you,” he grunts out roughly.

He moves his hands to grip your waist so he can flip you underneath him, but your hands find his shoulders and stop him before he can.

Big, doleful eyes look up at yours, his face etched with concern as you shake your head. His bottom lip wobbles as he searches your face for why.

In a reassuring press, you mash your lips to his and lace your fingers behind his neck. You kiss all the air out of his lungs, until his fingertips are digging into your flesh hard enough to leave ten tiny bruises. You kiss him like you’re trying to take the weight of the world off his shoulders, like you’re going to accept his every burden as your own so he doesn’t have to carry them alone.

There’s a quiet pop as your mouths separate and you press your chest flush with his, wrapping your arms around his neck so your lips find his ear as your nose nudges through his curls.

“Tell me you want me,” you whisper. “Tell me how much you want this.”

“I don’t want it,” he groans back, “I need it. I’ve needed it since I fucking met you.”

The heat in his voice, the rumble of it in your ear, causes a wave of arousal to rush through your body. You unwind your arms from around his neck and slip slowly, painfully slowly, from his lap to stand between his legs. You place a finger under his chin and tip his face up for him to look at you, your thumb settling in the tiny dip at its center. Too small to see, it could only be felt.

“Everyone always uses you,” you tell him softly, almost mournfully.

His eyes stay wide and hopeful, never leaving yours as you sink down to your knees. His long, dark lashes flutter as your hands run up his muscled thighs, the edges of your thumbs grazing the outline of his cock. He hisses through his teeth and you grin devilishly at the sound.

“I want you to use me,” you instruct him. “Take whatever you need, as much as you want.”

And you can literally see how your words affect him, his eyes bugging wide as the wheels in his head are turning behind them. He reaches out to touch your face and you turn it to kiss his palm.

“Sweetheart, I—oh, fuck,” he gasps, cut off with your sudden squeeze of his clothed cock.

“I’ll stop you if I need a break,” you reply firmly.

The muscles in his neck pull taught as he nods. He leans back on one elbow, reluctant to let his other hand leave your face. You kiss his bare stomach along the top of his waistband and he curls his hand around the back of your head, gripping it tighter when you tug down his fly.

And you knew Eddie’s dick well by now. You knew it inside of you as well as out. But there was nothing that could have prepared you for the sight of it tonight. Thick, and veiny, and weeping with pre that dribbles down its sides. He’s almost ashamed of it, almost embarrassed by how hard he is for you; by how close he is to blowing his load when you’ve not even gotten started.

It was practically a miracle he didn’t soil the inside of his suit when you pulled his hair earlier.

His pupils are blown out when your eyes meet his, your lips hovering so close to his cock he can feel your breath on it. Saliva pools under your tongue so rapidly, you almost feel like you’re at risk of it spilling out of your mouth and running down your chin when you speak.

“Fuck my throat, Eddie. Please.”

And he does. He lets you set the pace at first, still holding fast on the back of your head he watches your lips surround his tip. His chest heaves with deep, gasping breaths as you take him fully into your mouth and start to bob on his perfect cock. It’s almost too much, too perfect, the feeling of your warm, wet mouth and your soft tongue and, fuck, your hand—

He pants wildly as you cradle his sack, your fingertips stroking them and spreading the spit from your mouth that’s dribbling down his shaft to his balls. They tense in your palm and his stomach tightens the faster your mouth moves, the more your throat relaxes to take him in deep.

The man who gives the best head imaginable finally having the favor returned.

“Jesus Christ…”

Eddie's words are whispered like a prayer and you look up to take in the sight of him.

Eyes pinched shut, his brows drawn like he’s in pain even though the sounds he’s releasing are nothing short of euphoric. You tease all the most sensitive nooks and crannies of his cock, all the places that make his eyes roll back and his head loll on his shoulders and his chest heave. Every ridge, every vein, every muscle that twitches under the attention of your tongue.

“Oh, pl…p-please,” he gasps, tightening his hold on your hair to still your movements as his hips start to move in an instinctive and primal thrust.

He hits the back of your throat and you swallow more of him down, taking him deeper, deeper until your nose brushes the wiry hair at his base.

You groan around his length, enthralled by the exquisite ache of him hitting your soft palate, and the sound is Eddie’s undoing. He lets out a long, low moan and spills hot and thick down your throat. His arm trembles as he fights his own iron grip on the back of your head, forbidding himself from pulling your hair. You can feel the tremors of his fingers against your scalp.

His abdomen spasms as you stroke him through the aftershocks, flirting with overstimulation. Fucked-out eyes, heavy-lidded and sleepy, but nothing short of reverent, find yours and they’re wet—shiny, shimmering with tears that crowd their rims and threaten to spill down his cheeks.

Quick as you can, you’re on your feet cradling his jaw to ask if he’s okay. And Eddie can’t answer, can only nod as he kisses, kisses, kisses your palm, the heel of your hand, your wrist, down the inside of your arm all the way to your elbow.

He can’t kiss you enough, it seems. 

You giggle softly as you sit beside him and reach out to ruffle his bangs, tucking some of his hair behind his ear and letting your touch linger on his neck. With the pad of your thumb, you brush a tear that has leaked out of the corner of his eye. He looks back at you with a smile and swipes the pad of his thumb along the corner of your mouth to wipe away a drop of his spend.

And you know there’s still a lot left to figure out—damage control that will have to be done, difficult conversations that will have to be had. There will be whispers and rumors and sidelong glances.

Not to mention the firestorm those pictures of you two at the ceremony will undoubtedly stir up.

But none of that matters right now. Nothing does, beyond this bed and this night. Nothing else even exists outside the confines of this room.

All that matters is you and him.

You lay there for a while, just…being. Your fingers tracing his tattoos and the soft planes of his chest and stomach; his, the slope of your shoulders and the lines of your body he’s always wanted to know better. Quiet words pass back and forth, teasing jokes and soft confessions. Admissions of fears that held you both back and don’t seem so daunting anymore. Don’t seem so scary.

When he’s hard again, you pick up the camera and point it at him as you guide him to lay on his back. You push in close on his face when you sink down fully onto his length and start to ride him at an egregiously slow pace just so your shot holds steady. And because he looks so pretty taking it.

“Something wrong, Ed?” you goad him a smidge, toying with him in more ways than one when your pussy squeezes so tight around his cock it makes him lose his breath and pant out of control.

“F-fu…fuuuuuck meeee…” he whines and writhes, throwing his head back into the mattress.

“Oh,” you chuckle at him, speeding up just a hair, “I’m sorry, is that not what I was doing?”

His head jerks up, eyes ablaze as he stares you down through the camera lens. You peer at him over the top of the viewfinder and shiver despite the thin layer of sweat building on your skin.

Okay, yeah, that might have been a little too far. Or just far enough, you think, almost giddy.

“Nah,” he growls, the corner of his mouth curling up in a smirk. “Sorry is what you’re gonna be.”

A loud squeal bursts out of you as he rolls your bodies to the side and pins you underneath him, somehow managing to keep himself seated inside you the whole time. Breathless, you watch as he takes the camera from you and practically tosses it away so he can hold your arms over your head. For a while, all it captures is a blurry close-up of your duvet cover, the frame shaking in time with every deep, solid thrust of Eddie’s hips that rattles the entire bed and you in it when he gets going.

Your moans and his grunts mix in a symphony that will surely earn you some side-eyeing from your neighbors tomorrow, but you can’t bring yourself to give a single ounce of a shit.

The song that you make together swells to a crescendo as you topple over the precipice you’ve been dangling off the edge of practically from the moment you met him. Eddie fumbles like mad for the camera and picks it up, recording your blissful expression before he swoops in to press his lips back to yours. Kissing you like he’s trying to eat you, like he’s trying to fuse your faces.

You’re certainly not complaining.

And now that he’s the one with the camera, he’s eager to keep going. He pans it up and down your whole body, guiding you into every filthy position he’s been imagining all those long nights alone in his bed. Through his eyes behind the lens, there’s not a single angle on you that isn’t pristine. 

He gets you up on all fours, films tight on your ass as he squeezes it and cracks his palm down on it when he lets go. The sting makes you keen, your back arching as your hips thrust back—seeking more, more. His hand then smooths over your buzzing flesh, soothes the ache he’s made.

And even as you’re making it, you can tell this is not just another sex tape.

It’s a love tape.

thank you for reading — love you, mean it! 🏝️

[mourningsbane]

Perhaps silly questions, but I'm growing more and more curious of your blog with each new entry/question answered. Love the story slowly unfolding here, cannot wait for the next part and following moons <3

Does Palekit have any further deformations? Or rather that question but in past tense. His tail looks almost fin-like, but I'm not sure if what we are seeing is a) a stylistic "drooping goo" effect, b) a very weird tuft of fur, or c) some malformation of the tail tip, resulting in its split structure.

What's the clan's relationship with Sweetkit, considering so many of its members', em... involvement in the perishing of Honeyspring and her kits. Mostly wondering if Flaildrizzle, Tanglefern and Rootstar feel anything (guilt, sadness, etc.) at all when they see this only kit in clan after a whole litter dies in such horrible circumstances before Sweetkit's arrival? I mean, surely such a tragedy leaves an impact. A followup question-

How much time has passed since Honeyspring's death and Sweetkit's arrival? Do any of LutumClan's cats consider Sweetkit to be like "a second chance" for the clan after losing their only queen and her litter?

A bit of an alternate outcome question! Let's assume Nothing Bad Ever Happened©️ to Honeyspring's kits. What would their warrior names be? What would their basic personalities be? Would any of them pursue high ranks within LutumClan?

Also sending fictional love to Honeyspring, stay goopy queen 💅

There's no such thing as a silly question! Besides, I like answering questions, even if it takes me a while to get to them! <3

My answers are a tad long, so I'll put them under the cut!

1.) Palekit did not have any further deformations! His face was slightly crooked, and his tongue sometimes hung out, but that was about it. He also had severe issues with vomiting; he just couldn't keep anything down and tended to bleed.

2.) Rootstar, Flaildrizzle, and Tanglefern all feel very guilty and upset by what happened to Honeyspring's kits! Still, they, and the rest of LutumClan, saw Sweetkit's arrival as a sign of hope. However, LutumClan as a whole tends to be a tad overprotective of the only kit in the clan.

3.) About 3-ish months have passed since Honeyspring's death! Sweetkit is definitely considered LutumClan's "second chance" of sorts, but a few cats (namely Rootstar and a few others) REALLY wish Sweetkit was in the care of someone who ISN'T Bearface. They're worried that Bearface, being a former outsider who barely respects the clan code as is, will be a bad influence on her.

4.) As for the alternate outcome, let me think! I'll give you my best guesses, but destiny is mutable, so these could've easily changed!

Smallkit would grow into Smallcloud, and would become an apprentice to Tanglefern! She would be on the smaller side, but she'd be a fierce creature for sure! She'd be smart and cautious, but never a push-over.

Flailkit would grow into Flailwhisker, and would likely go on the path of becoming a queen or mediator! She'd likely be about average height and a bit on the chunkier side. I imagine her to be quiet and shy, much like Flaildrizzle, and easy to talk over. Still, she cares greatly about her clanmates, even if she's easily overwhelmed. Smallcloud would've been very protective over her in their youth.

Palekit would grow into Paleclaw, and would most certainly follow the path of a warrior! He'd idolized his aunt, Rootstar, and wanted to become a leader just like her. He's prideful and a little boastful for sure, but not intentionally. He's just very proud of his aunt being the leader, and his mom (Flaildrizzle) being the deputy, and wants to make sure everyone knows it.

Had Honeyspring's kits lived, Sweetkit's role would have also changed, but I can't say it due to spoilers!

[roses-r-rosie3]

Dancing With Your Ghost: Unexpected Reunion

Miguel O’Hara x M!Reader

[Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

(Btw credits to whoever drew that spider-man character)

Warnings: angst, spoilers for SpiderMan: Across the Spider-verse, and memory loss-ish

Summary: Miguel was in love with his version of y/n from his universe but that y/n dies bc that’s his cannon, and he meets an alternate version of y/n who is the Spider-Man of his universe, but isn’t in love with Miguel

Quote: “I'm sorry, but you're not ringing any bells"

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Miguel is what some people what call “cold hearted” but he wasn’t always like this. He was happy once. He was in love with y/n l/n. He loved y/n so much. But because he was a Spider-Man, y/n died. He died when that universes’s goblin blew up a building, while y/n was inside of it. It hurts Miguel to think about it. The way he held y/n in his arms while he begged for y/n to stay with him. But Miguel couldn’t undo the inevitable, and y/n died in his arms while he cried for hours.

"Miguel" Jess said, snapping Miguel out of his thoughts.

"Are you okay?" she said.

"Yeah, yeah, just a little tired, what did you want to talk to me about?" Miguel said.

"I found a case where an alternate version of the goblin from another universe got transported to another universe, and is now having a tantrum"

Miguel's blood ran cold at the mention of 'The goblin', the bastard took one of the only people making him happy away from him.

"I know you have some issues with the goblin, but you need to remember that he isn't our goblin-"

"Yeah, whatever let's go" Miguel said, completely ignoring what Jess had to say.

skip to when Miguel is fighting the goblin b/c i'm lazy af

Miguel spent what felt like hours trying to land a single punch on the goblin, each attempt getting him more riled up. All of a sudden another spider-man swooped in and kicked the goblin in the face dead-on.

"I'll take it from here" The masked hero said cockily.

That voice... it sounded familiar, but Miguel couldn't quite put his finger on it. But Miguel had no time to play the guessing game, so he immediately swung over to help fight the goblin.

When Miguel finally caught up to the other spider-man, the goblin had already been defeated.

"How-"

"it's easy when you're as good as me" said the cocky super-hero, as he cut off Miguel.

"Oh great another narcissistic one" Miguel said as he rolled his eye under his mask.

"I wouldn't call it narcissistic, more like- wait- what do you mean another- oh whatever, who are you and what are you doing here" said that universe's spider-man.

skip to Miguel explaining the whole spider organization

"Does you telling me this mean that I'm apart of this organization now, or are you gonna pull a 'men in black' and erase this from my memory?"

"Yes, you can join" Miguel said in annoyance as he opened the portal.

"Holy shit, very cool.." The masked hero said before walking inside of it.

"Hey, scary boss guy, can i take off my mask, that portal thing is making me feel sick" said the hero.

"Yes" Miguel said as he turned to see what the cocky hero looked like under his mask.

When the spider-man unmasked himself, he was revealed to be y/n.

Miguel couldn't speak, his once dead lover was in front of him.

"Oh I didn't tell you my name did I? My name's-"

"Y/n" Miguel cut him off.

"How did you-"

Y/n was cut off by Miguel hugging the life out of him.

"I missed you so much" Miguel croaked.

"Woah, woah dude I don't even know you" y/n said pulling Miguel away.

Miguel took off his mask, hoping that universe's y/n would notice him.

"I'm sorry, but you're not ringing any bells" y/n said.

"Y/n please, we have to at least been acquainted in your universe" Miguel said with tears in his eyes.

"Uh- you're starting to creep me out" y/n said

"Oh, uh, sorry about him, you just look like someone he used to know" Jess interrupted

"Okay then..." y/n said as he walked past them to explore the place.

"Listen Miguel, I know you loved y/n and he loved you, but that's a different y/n, I don't want to sound harsh, but he probably didn't know you until now, okay? Just know that our y/n loved you." Jess said as the other y/n was out of eye-sight.

Miguel just broke down. The fact that, that y/n will probably never love him like his y/n, He felt like he was re-living the grief he felt when y/n died in his arms.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Natsumi Matsuzaki Wave q&a

Not sure if you guys are aware of it, but mangaka Natsumi Matsuzaki is holding a q&a from the readers until the end of the manga serialisation, and beyond.

I get overwhelmed when things get mixed up, so for now, I'm just responding to relevant questions! Once it's finished, I'll reply or resume accepting questions, so... please go ahead...

The questions are varied and it is very cool to see her replies. I am very curious what goes into the artist’s mind when they create things so I am glad that she entertains questions and tells us her POV when drawing manga panels and her decisions to do so.

In Volume 4 of the "A Raven for All Seasons" series, there is a scene where Shiratama vomits, which wasn't in the original story. What was the intention behind adding this scene? Personally, I found it quite endearing, so I'm curious...! 💛

Chapter 27: A Raven for All Seasons

Natsumi: [85%] When considering the entire Winter/Shiratama Chapter, this scene represents the stress of having deceived her heart for a long time, the all-nighter she pulled just before, and finally being dealt the final blow of “losing what she wanted to protect by choosing actions that killed her own feelings.” It was an expression to clearly depict in visuals the disconnect between her will to act like an innocent girl who knows nothing and the internal turmoil of fully understanding everything that happened.

[15%] Kink (<— 🤔)

Concerning empathy toward a character

As an illustrator, I do not waver at all! Since I am the one who intentionally instills emotions in the readers’, there is no room to move my own emotions at the plot or name stages (e.g., because there is a psychological depiction A here, you need to depict B as groundwork for it at a certain level, but for that [to work out], you need another depiction C and foundation △△ by episode □□, so you incorporate depiction D... etc. It's very calculated and structured, so it's tough). When I actually draw on paper with a pencil, if it feels right, I might draw while empathizing with the expressions and feelings of the character I'm depicting at that moment.

Designs, motifs….

As with the "Flying Carriage," (those palanquins driven by “horses”) how were the crests of each family decided upon through consultations? 💛

Chapter 36: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

Since I needed to draw family crests in the manga, I refined the designs by confirming the motifs to be used for the four family crests and the original author's images in advance.

Some of the questions and replies are a bit spoiler-ish especially if you haven’t touched the rest of the novels in the first and second arcs. Please tread carefully.

[ansbobcar]

Infodumping/venting about the lack of Mashle fanfics on most fanfic platforms

WARNING: This isn't a vent. This is a mashle fanfic idea dumpster fire with MANGA SPOILERS.

I'm so heartbroken discovering that there is barely any mashle x oc content out there even x readers or character x character. I have so many tiny plot point ideas for a Rayne/Rain x fem oc/reader. Which resulted in me beginning to write my own oc, Darren Randel. Her name's stolen from my random ass mha oc Darren Halston. Darren Randel is lowkey different (she's less edgy/and emotionally unstable) even though they both have brown hair.

PLS TELL ME IF YOU'RE GONNA STEAL OR GET INSPO FROM THIS PLS BECUZ I WOULD LIKE TO HELP.

SO-

What was the original plot idea you may ask?

Infamous girl from rival school transfers to Easton Magic Academy because she fell in love with Rayne Ames lol.

Lowkey unoriginal right?

So then I added an extra spin to it borrowing a key romance drama plot point from See You in My 19th Life: Darren only gets 3 chances to confess and have her feelings be reciprocated by Rayne, and if he rejects her feelings. She'll give up (on that romance).

The ending of the fanfic is bittersweet: She doesn't get Rayne. But they stay close friends.

OH BUT HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYNA FIGURE OUT TO ADD MORE OF THAT BITTERSWEET FEEL TO IT:

1. Darren confused her initial crush on Rayne to be love at first sight/romantic feelings when she actually felt like she had a friend/that sense of trust in him compared to others.

1a. As a result of that she kind of decides to nullify all her chances of getting him.

1b. Regardless of this plot point she still ends up developing actual romantic attraction for Rayne and still doesn't get her feelings reciprocated.

2. It turns out that Rayne ALSO developed feelings for Darren over the course of the fic but he still rejects her advances due to either:

a. Her newfound realisation that she confused her feelings of attraction for something like companionship or trust. (1a)

b. His new position and role as Divine Visionary and the fear that she would be in more danger than she already was. (For context: her former school Walkis has so much beef with her existence for the 4 ish years she was there that they want her erased from existence and the Bureau of Magic is extremely alert about her whereabouts due to that and her skills which will be explained in the OC Profile section below).

c. Typical fears of a dude who for most of his life before Easton was seen as a nuisance alongside his younger brother Finn. (Big headcanon.) Doubt he cares/he probably would shove in the aristocrats face if he was dating her honestly (fake dating plot point???)

_ _ _ _ _ _

OC PROFILE:

Fyi - I haven't completed her complete information so I may have removed some parts.

General Info:

Name: Darren Randel

Other names: “Renren”, “Walkis Traitor”, “Wandless Psycho”

Sex: Female

Age: 18 (from the start of Mashle canon timeline)

Birthday: February 18th

Blood Type: A

Height: 168cm

Occupation: 3rd Year Student at Easton Magic Academy

House: Adler

Affiliation: Easton Magic Academy (current), Walkis Magic Academy (former)

Dominant Hand: Left

Good Subjects: Magic Geography (it better exist), Magic Zoology

Bad Subjects: Magic Mathematics, Magic Biology

Hobbies: Cooking, Running at 4am, Pestering Rayne whenever possible

Favourite Food: Mussel/Seafood Pasta

Favourite Word: “Antidisestablishmentarianism”

Favourite type of the opposite sex: “People think about those?”

Dislikes: Her sense of justice being challenged, Bunbun, People who hate Rayne Ames

Frequently visited school spots: School Garden, Training rooms, Dormitory kitchen 

Appearance: 

Her hair is orange brown with cornflower tips. The way she styles her hair hides one of her lines. The main line that is shown juts out just under her cheek from her forehead while the other one only juts out slightly from the side of her eye. She’s more of a sports person than a bookworm. When she manifests her third line, it appears across and under her eyes. She switches between 3 types of bottoms. Pants, Long skirt, shorter skirt of which she wears jogging leggings underneath but they’re all dark blue you know.

Lines: 2 + 1

Skills/Abilities: 

General Magic: Offensive Magic - Due to the competitive environment of Walkis, she has a general grasp on nearly all learnable offensive magic spells. Being able to cast them with ease compared to more typical and unlethal spells. Her speed at casting these spells were unmatched during her time in middle school.

Personal Magic: Impart - Darren’s magic essentially allows her to balance out either magical power, strength, and weaknesses between her targets (living and non living) or with herself. It’s essentially cheating at life. The magic is highly confusing due to the fact that she doesn’t have to chant the words to the magic and its essentially treated as a debuffing magic (which is wrong because she aims to fight everyone on fair terms).

Impart Zero - It dispels a spell.

Impart Seconth: Impartial Vice - Instead of deducting and balancing their power, like a water dam. Water is added to balance both sides.

Summon: Themis (Goddess of Justice) - When summoned, the user’s wand transforms into a dull sword whilst Themis appears with blindfold with a scale in hand

Themis Inclination - Themis appears and buffs her attacks’ range but she rarely utilises this due to how lackluster it was against Rayne (ineffective) and other people

Impart Thirds: Divine Mercy - It’s essentially renders its' target a painless death. It's an instant kill move.

Impart Thirds: Divine Tears - Unlike Divine Mercy, this one's pure torture. (To be developed later) (Tears of Themis reference?)

Wandless Casting: Her aptitude to cast magic without a wand has earned her infamy and wanted death since she enrolled into Walkis in middle school. It has also made her wanted by a few subdivisions of the Bureau of Magic, namely Magic Talent and Magic Research Administration.

Immense Speed: Exactly what running at 4am, and doing marathons before starting class does.

Immense Endurance: Due to the fact she does running as a hobby, her stamina/endurance in terms of speed/running is more than decent. She can withstand advanced offensive spells typically used by the police.

Equipment:

Basic Wand - She prefers to not wield a wand though finding it too rudimentary for her purposes, hence many assume she cannot unleash her secondth and thirds magic (to which she has). It stays in her cloak mostly.

Infinite Storage Fabric - Lining her uniform’s robe it has the ability to store anything it can consume within its’ own subspace. She stores majority of her items in it. Even though it’s mass doesn’t change due to how many things there are, it still is a heavy fabric. It will help fish out whatever the user who is currently wearing the cloak wants to have.

Resistance bands - She carries it around to do some exercise. Especially when she’s in the kitchen

Thick Rope - She carries this around as well but its to apprehend anyone she sees.

Photo album of Rayne Ames - She carries this with her at all times alongside a self printing camera. Don't worry, she gets permission to take the pictures.

Family/History:

The Randel Family while not aristocrats or anything, take pride in their magic aptitude which is a recent cut above the rest. Born as a two-liner magic user, she was put on a pedestal with unwanted attention, which is why she has a hime cut to hide her other mark. Her parents treat her like a trophy child and place their expectations on her.

She’s an only child but has an extensive selection of uncles and aunts 5 each. But she prefers her grandma over everyone else.

She had a tendency to break her wands while practising magic as a kid. Due to this her family/parents decided to just stop supplying wands (cuz it was costly) which resulted in her adapting the way she casted magic spells without the use of a wand. During her entrance exam into Walkis, she was ridiculed for not having a wand and got into trouble while getting the highest score of her batch in terms of magic.

_ _ _ _ _ _

I was tempted to add a Modern Magic/unmagic AU of this as well based on the anime endings which I find to be completely confusing even though they're fun. (SERIOUSLY, HOW IN THE WORLD DO RAYNE AND FINN HAVE FANCY OLD CARS THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN WHEN THEY'RE CANONICALLY ORPHANS UNLESS DIVINE VISIONARY IN MODERN AU IS A SUPER RICH POSITION-)

[misseligon]

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY TO THE HELL TO PAY PILOT!!

God, a whole year just went by??? Doesn't feel real honestly... I didn't expect to jump from just 15 subscribers on youtube to 739 in just a year! A lot has happened over the year. I graduated from college and got my Bachelor's Degree, I got to see my mom's side of the family for the first time in my life. And my peepee brain was busy taking a half year hiatus whilst also hyper fixating on a lot of different crap.

I got to brainstorm more what I want for Hell to Pay. Ik you guys were asking for a full animated series but i'm gonna be honest here... the pilot was written and animated all by me, and I had my online and college friends help voice act the pilot for a final. I don't really intend to continue the series animated-wise because that requires a bigger team and a budget and I... don't have the latter.

I've always wanted to continue the story as a webcomic b/c I have an easier time getting the story out at a faster pace compared to another 40-minute animatic episode that'll take another half year to get done... and trust me if I continued at that pace I think Hell to Pay would be incomplete by the time I turn 80 years old and keel over.

Unfortunately for my little baby project's first birthday, I don't exactly have much to give here, since i've been extremely busy storyboarding and drawing concepts for the next episode. But for you guys I can give you the synopsis of the first 5-ish episodes!

BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SUMMONING

In his second day in the afterlife, Profundus has to learn the ways of haunting in order to make a living not only from the three demons whom he met yesterday, but 10 more demons who Mollis brought in for extra help. Meeting new faces, witnessing more traumatic ways how to torture the living, Profundus finds out that being summoned by the living could bring him closer to finding his home universe and locate his wife Honey. But what happens if the first time he's summoned he gets trapped by a group of demon-worshipping college students?

CE N'EST PAS UN TRAVAIL

Profundus needs to find a job on top of his haunting duties in order to make a much more stable living, starting from rock bottom. After failing to find a suitable job from his "friends", he's offered a job as a still-life model from a self-proclaimed "Dadaist" named Clades. Upon hearing the demoness' name, Infortunii and co. warn of how infamous and dangerous Clades can be. Can Profundus quit his job on time before Clades and her followers lead Profundus into certain death?

PRISONER OF THE BODY

Attending classes on spells for newly deceased demons, Mollis teaches the easiest lesson for demons, possession. Concocting a plan to find a way into his universe and get a chance to speak to Honey one last time, Profundus plans to possess a mortal and meet up with Honey as said mortal. But plans go awry once Profundus accidentally kills the body of the man he was possessing and is trapped inside his body. Can the gang help pull Profundus out of this predicament?

BOX BITCH

Having no choice, Infortunii has to let an old acquaintance move in with her and Profundus after Box Bitch's landlord kicks them out (Fyi, their name is not actually Box Bitch, that's Infortunii's unaffectionate nickname for them). Times get tough when Box Bitch becomes an unbearable roommate and troubles both demons living under her roof, but tension rises once Box Bitch brings up that Infortunii used to be the life of a party, now she's a sanitized wet blanket, which easily ticks her off. What happened to Infortunii that soured her relationship with an old friend?

-SPOILER EPISODE, ONCE REVEALED POST BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO SUMMONING-

FALLEN

News riles up in the afterlife, an angel has been banished from Caelestia and has fallen down to Damnatio! Taken in by Mollis and into safety, the fallen angel introduces herself as Lapis. Seeing her as the closest thing to a holy being, Profundus tries to bond with Lapis, claiming both have common ground in this hellish afterlife. Selfish motives aside, could Profundus and co. help and protect a struggling Lapis adjust in the afterlife?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hell to Pay as a series is planned to have 4 seasons/books. The first season/book is planned to have 33 chapters, idk how long it'll take to finish the first book, but a few years is definitely the most realistic expectation.

Thank you guys so much again for all your support and dedication! I'd like to thank all my friends and partners who made this whole project become a reality, and I hope to see you guys again soon! Check back on my tumblr for more future news about Hell to Pay! See you guys real soon!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[solifloris]

SYLUS THOUGHTS ROXIE PLEASE

LMFAOFJSJFJ ANONIE IN ALL CAPS?!?!?!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i mean i did say in a prev ask that he isn't exactly my type, generally speaking! and like,

LMAOFJSKFJJSJF

(i'll keep it under the cut bc spoilers and also it might be long ish)

LMAO but yeah, a personal opinion, but he's a bit too arrogant for my tastes? and also a bit too overconfident... like i did get a lil turned off at the way he dealt with conflict, but in his defense i know there's basis for that! like he has a good reason to be cocky considering how strong and influential he is, and i know the n109 zone isn't a lawful place anyway! again like. it's a me problem, i just personally don't vibe with that 🤣 so like,, he stays on the same shelf as rafayel for me as the two li's i Absolutely Would Not Date (let alone go near) irl LMAOFJSJD

but it doesn't make me (a) immune to getting flustered (have you seen me with rafayel?) nor (b) immune to not being physically attracted to him nor (c) immune to appreciating him!

because there are still little things i appreciate!!

obv, aesthetic-wise he's hot. i can absolutely agree with that. and his voice is hot too. bro can asmr me to sleep and i'd say thanks. actually maybe you don't want to know the extent of thoughts i have on him regardong this but know that i do in Fact find him physically attractive,

but also his self-awareness is the top quality i love about him <3 like i seriously appreciate it <3 because the change in the way he treats mc is centered around that? once he found out he was being subconsciously affevted there was a slight change in demeanor. he didn't deny his feelings about it nor about how he had been treating her. and like? even if there was no apology, one way or another he was still willing to backtrack and take accountability for it? and if you know me, you know i will always find that extremely attractive 🥰🥰

and! moreover he just feels like a complex character with layers i'd equally love to unpack <3 feels like there's a lot of his personality that'll be tied to his story and i'm so excited to unpack pick at his brains hehe ✨✨ i have hope in the devs' writing ability, because they've put a lot of effort into xavier zayne and rafayel so far, and i have faith they'll do the same with sylus <3

[edgyandoverzealous]

MCU Watchthrough Masterlist

The beautiful @kittypryde2013 was getting me, into the mcu, we're going through in chronological order, so no spoilers please! Also spoilers for following rated shows/movies below the cut. I know the media is hella old still "">_< Also this is my rating/line up of it so far!

Characters Rankings :

1. Steve Rodgers (My husbanddd)

2. Vision

3. Black Widow (my wife <33)

4. Wanda

5. Falcon

6. Hawkeye

7. Tony (Iron Man)

8. Daredevil (Also my husband)

9. Nick Fury

10. War Machine

11. Thor

12. Gamora

13. Rocket

14. Star Lord

15. Drax

16. Groot

17. Hulk

18. Captain Marvel <we'll get to her later

Movie Tier-List

S tier: the best of the club

- Captain America 1st avenger

< amazing loved everything about it

- Iron Man

< I love seeing a rich man humbled and thrown around to do good, rip cave inventer man I loved you and cried like a baby

- Iron Man 3

< Tony gets cucked and again I love watching Tony get thrown around he's a pathetic Lil guy and I love him. Plus he momentarily father's a child around Christmas, and gives him hella gifts. Ptsd, as someone with diagnosed cpstd, is bad, poor dude I'm sorry, and I feel like it was good representation. PLUS PEPPER IS A CERTIFIED BADASS and there's robot on robot on robot fighting action. It's frankly a masterpiece.

- a funny thing happened on the way to thors hammer

>It was Phil being Phil I love Phil and I'd have his babies

- Captain America winter soldier

<will have own separate rant)

- Guardians of the galaxy vol 2

<Yondu's death always makes me cry like a fucking baby.

A tier: a good superhero movie

- The Avengers

< they somehow messed up black widows and captain America's character a little bit, but I'll excuse it cause 1) loki was there 2) Tony stark got run through the wringer and I genuinely love seeing him thrown around like a ragdoll. It's adorable and amusing. 3) it was genuinely so good and Hulk was recast and now bearable. But as my gf says 'They're all white I guess'

- The consultant

<Tony was sent in to purposefully fumbled a deal

- Iron Man 2

< realy good brother was going through the wringer in comes War Machine! Woo!

- Guardians of the Galaxy

<was alright I forgot how bi coded starlord is which is funny because Chris Pratt is kinda walking garbage. Also it was very sweet and heroic of Srarlord to save Gamora.

- Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D S1

<will have own separate rant

- Daredevil S1

<will have own separate rant

B tier : mediocre but still willing to watch again

- All Hail the King

< Actor pretending to be a terrorist leader gets jailbreaked, kidnapped, and brought to actual terrorist leader. It was interesting and funny in a ironic kinda way.

- Avengers: Age of Ultron

< not as good as Winter soldier or the last Avengers movie. Tony and Bruce? creates an AI Ultron who is his daddy's son to be fair. Weird Bruce/Natasha thing that apparently ended just as abruptly as it began. Natasha's writing was wack and there was plausible reference to her being a monster for not being able to have children which is crazy... Wanda and Pietro (rip) are introduced properly, adored their dynamic. Unfortunately everyone was super weird to this 16 year old kids who were hella experimented on and traumatized their whole life. Vision is also introduced and I love him and his pure curiosity to the world around him and his quippy personality.

C tier: mediocre but good-ish wouldn't watch again tho

- Thor

<not a fan of cosmic plot lines, and had somewhat l boring side plots.

- Thor: A Dark World

<not a fan of cosmic plot lines but hey there's loki and brotherly bonding over being mama boys occurs and it's kinda sweet and humanized loki. I was bitter after Coulson's death and I hated the crazy Scientist that ran nakedness through stonehedge for being alive. Also the side plot of this movie was awful and horrendously boring imo.

D tier: fuck you in particular (fails as a movie big time)

- Captain Marvel

< own separate post is up, my beloathed, captain marvel

- Item 47

<boring plus main character in it is a nazi.

F tier: would have rather been at work

- The incredible hulk (nothing incredible about it, made me the incredible sulk)

<was like watching wet peices of cardboard interact.

[likecrapthroughagoose]

Godzilla x Kong gets... probably a 7.5 or 8 out of 10 from me. I liked it a lot, but the last act felt like it was rushing (which should never be the case for a 2+ hour movie). The action was really good though and the visual effects, while dwarfed by Minus One, were excellent.

Spoiler-y opinions below:

Okay so- Kong's portions of the movie were actually really strong. Granted, I'm easily amused by anything that involves monkeys falling down a lot. But in all seriousness, you can tell they had the most story ideas for Kong. His fights are good, the monsters his arc introduces are cool, and the way they've aged his design is also pretty nifty. You will believe a gorilla can be daddy.

That said, the strength of Kong's part of the movie brings me to my main complaint. The other two focal points, Godzilla and the human cast really didn't feel like they had as much to do. Less so for the human cast, which I'll get to in a moment, but it kinda felt like Godzilla was sidelined.

Weirdly, that isn't to say he wasn't in the movie. Godzilla's scenes are almost as plentiful as Kong's, if not equally so. The movie, to its credit, does a pretty good job of giving everyone equal-ish screentime, so Godzilla does get plenty of scenes. The problem is that most of them are just him going from point A to point B to point C and so forth.

In fairness, Goji's scenes are at least entertaining. He gets some superb city destruction and the best fights in the movie (and it has plenty) are his. Though speaking of fights, I am disappointed that we didn't get to see any new-old monsters. Scylla is a cool enough design on its own that I don't mind it, but Tiamat is similar enough to Manda that I felt like SOME acknowledgement could be made. I mean shoot, just have them be called Titanus Ebirah and Titanus Manda on the computer radar thingie they keep cutting to. Problem solved.

At least we get Godzilla sleeping in the Colosseum like a cat. It's a cheap pop, but I'm still here for it.

The human story is decent, if nothing special. The only returning cast are Rebecca Hall, Kaylee Hottle, and Brian Tyree Henry. Dan Stevens joins them as... I guess Kong's veterinarian for lack of a better word, rounding out the quartet of focal characters. I don't know if I enjoyed his character or if he annoyed me. Hottle and Hall deliver more of the "constantly mildly uncomfortable deaf girl who just wishes everyone would leave her pet gorilla alone and her overprotective adopted mother" stuff. It was fine in the last movie, it's fine here. Henry's conspiracy theorist character is... less irksome than he could have been. While in the previous film he was a surprising amount of depth for the archetype he was portraying, here he's firmly in the comic relief role. It never quite veers into annoying, but there are parts where it does leave you going, "okay, but why does he need to be here?" He at least makes it out better than Stevens, who may be the world's first example of a token white guy.

All that said, the human plot was actually kinda working for me. The whole "lost civilization deep within the hollow earth that harnesses mysterious natural powers and also worships/summons Mothra" thing felt like a really fun tribute to the kind of story you'd see in the classic Showa Era films without being anachronistic.

As much as I complain, there was something I noticed beyond the movie itself that made me happy. The theater was packed, which is great to see, but more than that there was a ton of kids in there, right around the same age I was when I was first getting into Godzilla. The same age I was when I got picked on for liking it. I couldn't help but look around the theater after the movie and feel vindicated. I was right, this shit is cool as fuck. Suck my ass, Samuel from fifth grade.

Anyway yeah it's fun. Worth seeing.

[thatonefatgumsimp]

Which Secret Life POVs I've Watched So Far (will be updated and edited as I finish)

OK so I may or may not have gotten distracted again- oops- but basically I'm putting here which POVs I've already watched in full and what my first thought about each one was.

-WARNING: wall of texts and ramblings from an mcyt obsessed audhd under the cut...and also spoilers. Don't click unless you're ready for simultaneously spoilers and an ungodly amount of text lol-

Grian: "God this series is so hype I can't wait to see what all happens and- OMG GEM IS HERE! :D GEM IS GREAT! I can't wait to see her kick Etho's ass at PvP again /lh ...waiminute...is that logo on the statue...is that the Watcher logo??? Huh??? Wait...and why does it have the same mossiness of the Entity and Grian's s9 base? Suspicious...OMG the chaotic Best Friend energy with Mumbo and Grian- tbh would be me and my best friend on any given day. Amazing. Their laughter is so infectious too lmao- Oough merch! Pretty :3 Wait it's over already? Aweeeeh ): can't wait for the next episode tho!"

Mumbo: "Wait he switched sides of the circle when Martyn punched Jimmy lmaoooo just like 'these people are crazy, save me, Grian-' 💀 The best friend energy omg still amazing I love their dynamic so much! Ooh a sideways house that *IS* an interesting idea! WHY DOES JIMMY KEEP BREAKING THE CRAFTING TABLES LMAO Hmmmmm Impulse ik cherry blossom is great, but that salesman voice is indeed very sus. I'm with Mumbo on this one."

Skizz: "Idk I watched it when I was very tired last night and all I remember is 'Awwweh a frog! Take care of him...WH- TANGO!!!' and also him apologizing to Gem which was very nice. Oh yeah and love island <3"

Jimmy: "Alright, Timmy, you've got this. Just don't die and- OMG MARTYN NOOOO LMAOO- Aweeeh it's like when you have a really young sibling or you're, like, a parent or something and you kiss the child's scraped knee to make it feel better- 🥺 wholesome. THANK YOU! I thought I was alone in recognizing that symbol, thank you for acknowledging it. JIMMY LOOK OUT OMG YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK! OK but the task. This man is an absolute menace lol. Aweh that's very nice of Scar to compliment Jimmy's outfit! SCOTT LMFAOOOO YOU'RE SO RIGHT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME 💀 Jimmy building in the Mesa? Tumble Town 2 electric boogaloo?? 'Hmmmm if Scar's building a shack, we're gonna have to have a shack-off, mine's better.' NO JIMMY DON'T STEAL THE CAMEL! D: pftttt Scar would- remember the Relation-ship? And the Ranch? Arson boy lol. THE VALLEY GIRL ACCENT I CAN'T- 😭"

Scar: "OK, Scar, you can do the task, I believe in you. I've seen 4 other POVs which prove that you failed, but I still believe in you. OMG THAT'S WHY HE COMPLIMENTED JIMMY'S OUTFIT LMAOOO I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION- So true, Scott. So true. But you can't stop them, they're still gonna end up neighbors. I know, I already watched Jimmy's POV. SCAR NOOOO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM- The way he jumped in the water- 💀 hc that c!Scar shook out his long-ish messy brown hair like a dog after that. Cuz he would. 'I'll make an exception for you. The first and ONLY exception.' if someone doesn't use this as, like, a fanfic title or something I swear- literally perfect material for a c!Scarian fic title. AWEEEEEEH HE CALLED GRIAN THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE- I CAN'T BHATGLFYSJBJSRSKBLBK 🥺 Scar just like 'y'all crazy. Bye.' AWEEEEH GRIAN AND SCAR'S CAMEL RIDE! DESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUODESERTDUO! The way they stare at the hole Big B dug like *insert surprised Pikachu here* awwwwweh the way he let Grian have the cactus monopoly 🥺 you will never not convince me that bullying is their love language. c!desertduo bullies each other affectionately...I'm so normal about c!desertduo I promise- HE TALKED ABOUT ASOKA FOR 30 MINUTES OFC HE DID- 💀😭 I was wondering why he didn't include it lmao- NOT SCAR TREATING THE CAMEL LIKE A DISNEY RIDE LOL learning about the task goodies with Tango, Jimmy, and Scar 101 'IS IT A ROCKET' LMAOOOOO- HE'S SUFFOCATING AGAIN- SCAR BE CAREFULLLLL!!! Ik it's not in the comments, but, I GOT TO THIS POINT AND I'M ENJOYING IT, SCAR! Love this series sm and I'm only 5 POVs in lol. 'It's looking kinda like a shack' 'fancy house and exotic materials' indeed, Etho. Also yes, Scar, part of what gave it away is that ur favorite color is orange lol /lh the fact that Jimmy is the only one I've seen to call him 'Obi' when he says 'Hello There'- amazing. 'Nonono it's not a shack, look at that entrance!' But, Scar, you just said- ...OK- 'this is my shack' OK, Scar I'm confused. Is it or isn't it a shack? Ofc he cut out the arson threats and allegations smh /lh 'until next time, we'll see you later, and don't forget to subscribe because you may just become. SCARRRRED FOR LIFE!' ...yes I've memorized his outro-"

Martyn: "Wait OK before we start- are we sure that punching Jimmy didn't just, like, transfer the canary's curse? /lh like it could also be that he won last series and now he's the 'wet cat' of the first episode like I saw in another post, but like, what if?? I guess we'll see, huh? The awkward 'goodbye' and then walking the same way lmaooo 💀 Lizzie and Gem: 'WE HAVE TO GET TO THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!' Martyn: 'uhhhhh anyways so-' what am I gonna get? Well uhhh probably one of the life hoodies, but I'll probably have to convince my mom to get it as a Christmas gift cuz I already spent a lot in the last month cuz I have no self control- but yeah probably the balloon hearts hoodie or the drippy hearts one. Love those. 'Ofc no wearing helmets' Scar, who has a helmet: 'Hi, Martyn!' 'oh mY GOd you scared me-' Payback for the jumpscare to Grian last series /lh /hj 'friends?' 'friends?' 'friends?' 'Helloooooo!' 'Martyn!' Idk why but that interaction made me exhale like- just imagine shouting through the walls in a cave to your friends irl. Omg now I'm imagining it with the reverb- 'you couldn't spare a heart, could you?' gives off the vibes of 'please sir, could I have some more?' Oliver Twist who? /lhj Bdubs and his chainmail lol 'THERE'S A SPAWNER?!' yeah...he's definitely having a rough first session- o7 'what is happening out there-?' I'd like to know too, Martyn, unfortunately I haven't watched their POVs yet. Also Etho saying 'BDUBS RUN! HIDE!' I- I'm normal about c!Ethubs I promise- 'YOU GOT HORSE ARMOR?!' ofc the local horsegirl /lhhj would ask about that lol- NOT ETHO TURNING INTO CANADIAN DAVID ATTENBOROUGH AND NARRATING HIS, MARTYN'S, AND BDUBS' ADVENTURES THROUGH THE CAVE- I- 💀 'this could go viral' true, Bdubs lol. BDUBS' MIC CUTTING OUT I'M CRYING- Gem's reaction of 'a what?!' and Scott's response of 'we just don't have a healer' is just perfect lol. Love that. WE'RE PLAYING THE MARTYN GETS NERFED MOD! TODAY WE CODED IT SO ALL THE MOBS ATTACK MARTYN AND ONLY MARTYN! that's the vibes Scott's comment gave me lol- 12 HEARTS?!? MARTYN!! OMG BE MORE CAREFUL!!! This Martyn nerf hitting hard- 'this could be really bad if I get poisoned-' YES IT COULD, MARTYN, YOU'RE ALREADY AT 12 HEARTS- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BE THE FIRST TO YELLOW- /lh bro Martyn being risky is making my anxiety go 📈📈📈📈📈 BE MORE CAREFUL, MARTYN, PLS- I BEG OF U- MARTYN GOING TO THE NETHER- 📈📈📈 MARTYN THERE ARE GHASTS- PLEASE- I- AAAAAAAAAAAAA! MARTYNNNN! OMG! IS HE ALWAYS THIS RISKY, USUAL MARTYN VIEWERS?! CUZ IF SO IDT I'M GONNA SURVIVE BINGING ALL THE LIFE SERIES- 'ughhh I swear, dude, I swear, I'm gonna cry!!!' I AM TOO, PLEASE STOP GETTING INTO DANGER, MARTYN- Martyn saying damnit is me the whole time he's out risking his hearts. My heart can't take this kind of pressure, Martyn please stop being so riskyyyy- 😭 nINE HEARTS- MARTYN!!!! Istg I'm not surviving this episode- my heart is just- 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 his pICKAXE BROKE?! OH YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! 'OH MY GOD, THE SUN!' I'M HAPPY TOO, HOPEFULLY HE DOESN'T LOSE TOO MANY MORE HEARTS. 'I've been to the nether and everything!' Yeah, imma be honest, I don't get that one. Like, didn't you write a song lITERALLY CALLED 'Screw The Nether' with friends????! /lh Lizzie's 'oh wow' 💀 fIVE AND A HALF HEARTS!! MARTYNNNN!!! OMG! 📈📈📈 NOT THE DROWNED- 😭 LEAVE HIM ALONE, BRUH, HE JUST TRYNA SURVIVE- Martyn panicking- same, bestie- Lizzie just like 'oh you stole my bed? Didn't notice' 💀 #1 way to tempt a horsegirl: offer something to protect his horse /lhj Cleo's laugh lol- infectious. MARTYN ZOOMING IN AND JIMMY JUST BRINGING BACK SCAR'S CAMEL IN THE BACKGROUND I CAN'T-"

OK I'm posting this and I'll rb for the other POVs, but Cleo's next.

So let's see, next rb is probably gonna be Cleo, Gem, Tango, Scott, Bdubs, and Pearl.

Third rb is probably gonna be Etho, Joel, Lizzie, Impulse, and BigB.

3 maybe 4 rb max.

[all-pacas]

for the book asks: 3, 9, 11!

shit wait now i actually have to remember what i read this year

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Wellness by Nathan Hill. He's so good. I loved The Nix and Wellness is better and go ahead and read the first couple pages and tell me he doesn't do character studies so. So well. Mutual stalking love story through a window? Flashforwards of decades? The lies we tell ourselves and one another and the way even we don't know our traumas? Incredible. It's so good.

Emperor of Rome by Mary Beard. You all know me I love her books. I see Mary Beard on a Rome book and I buy it. She single-handedly converted me from "only weird gross dudes are Into Rome" to "oh this shit slaps." I hope she writes a biography on Nero next because she has made me very interested in him. This book just kind of covers what, in practical rather than biographical terms, it would be like to be Emperor of Rome. In good faith I will say if you want a starter book of hers to try, SPQR and especially Pompeii are more general/"accessible" but this is still plenty accessible and interesting and not just about dead emperors.

The Wager by David Grann. Apparently they're making a movie of this. It's a true story with a premise that sounds like a movie: a small group of men claiming to have survived a shipwreck and crazy captain wash up in a South American city on a raft, mostly dead and in ill health. A year later, three more survivors from the same shipwreck turn up elsewhere with a wildly different story of mutiny and betrayal. Half the men on the ship kept diaries, the book pieces it all together and does a fantastic job drawing out the principle characters and what really (probably) went down.

Dune by Frank Herbert. To be honest I'm not sure if this was one of my favorite books, although I did end up greatly enjoying it, it's just… the first two times I tried to read this, I bounced off it hard, I just couldn't get into it. But I finally managed it this year and turns out! It's a really fun book! I'm into it!

2666 by Roberto Bolaño. Fun fact, I have yet to finish this monster. Funner fact, what is it about? I don't know. I'm 500 pages in and the part I'm reading is a long accounting of hundreds of biographies of murdered women interspersed with a romance between a detective (who isn't investigating these crimes at all) and a psychologist who works in an asylum. It's also about: a) a German novelist who might not exist b) a love triangle between academics c) a romance between a reporter and the daughter of a professor d) Mexico. It's really good. It is slow going. Highly recommend.

9. Did you get into any new genres?

No, but… I tend to really read a little of everything anyway lol. In the past year I've also read a bunch of Stephen King, several non-fiction history books, a couple of thrillers, The Illiad, Origin of Species, and half of my annual-ish ASOIAF re-read. About the only genre I don't consistently read is romance and that's because I read fanfic hahaha

11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

I should have read the questions in advance, Dune would have been a great pick here. I'll give a spoiler answer instead: my 2025 resolution is to finally, for the first time, for real…………read Lords of the Rings, hahahahaha oops.