#Awakening gives me so much autism | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year ago

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Random (and somewhat silly) Leon Kennedy headcannons

* Leon is a sleepwalker. I have no justification for it other than I think it’d be funny

* Ironically he’s also a VERY light sleeper

* And to add insult to injury, he snores like a freight train.

* Leon is Transgender. Trust me guys he told me himself

* Also got that ADHD Autism combo. Again just trust me you guys he said so himself-

* Bisexual disaster. Probably leans towards men but every gender gives him Gay Panic

* Luis and Ada were his Bi Awakening.

* ((And probably Wesker too. I mean C’mon just look at the guy))

* And just like every Bisexual he CANNOT sit in chairs normally to save his life. If he even bothers to sit on one at all ((Kinda going off the second headcannon; he also sleeps in the WEIRDEST positions humanly possible))

* Leon has permanent Bad Posture. Both from when he used to wear a binder (Transmasc Tingz !!) and from old age

* He hams up his “”old age”” a LOT just to annoy Chris and Claire

* “Ooooooughhh you guys I can feel my bones turning to dust-“ “Shut UP LEON I’m NOT CARRYING YOU”

* Leon also wore a binder for FAR too long. Like he was fighting zombies and doing backflips all while his ribs were screaming in pain

* “Leon when did you last take off your binder” “why do YOU wanna know huh Chris 🤨” “TAKE IT OFF”

* ((Dw guys he practiced safe binding and got Top Surgery. Eventually))

* Leon dyes his hair blonde. You know I’m right

* It’s also like,, surprisingly soft??? He probably takes very good care of it and uses expensive products (probably the only expensive thing he owns)

* He also purposefully cuts it that way. In fact I recon he cuts it himself

* Much more competent people (Jill, Claire, Rebecca) have offered to cut it for him but he’s always refused

* Its one of the few things that reminds him of when he was still a Rookie cop that isn’t also a traumatic memory

* He’s got some PTSD just don’t worry about it ok

* Leon is N O T good at opening up. Like at all. But when somebody DOES manage to crack him he cries s o easily and he will cry for literal hours

* Chris and Claire are the only two people who’ve ever actually managed to successfully get him to open up to that point though

* He also probably sleeps better when he’s with somebody. But he’d never admit that

* Leon’s love language is probably a mix of Words Of Affirmation and Acts Of Service. He’d love it if for once he could come home to somebody having done the little chores for him

* He’s also probably a M A S S I V E sucker for any kind of physical touch. Again, won’t admit it, but he’s a big cuddler.

* Somebody please please please play with this man’s hair he will fall asleep in your lap in seconds

* Now this may be my own Autism special interest shining through but I LOVE the idea of Leon being a massive Pokémon fan

* His favourite games are Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. Idk man he SEEMS like a Hoenn boy y’know

* His first starter was Torchic and Blaiziken remains as his all-time favourite Pokémon (he’s absolutely correct Torchic is the best Hoenn starter Fight Me)

* Probably still has his Gameboy from when he was a kid

* Leon’s also into retro anime. He likes to get Chris, Jill, Claire and Rebecca over just to show them his old childhood favourite shows like Astroboy or Sailor moon

* Will pause the DVD every 5 seconds to point something out or ramble on about something for 10 minutes

* Oh yeah he also absolutely keeps a DVD player in his home

* He’s a big sucker for old movies, especially old Queer movies but he’s also into classics like Back To The Future, Star Wars etc

*Probably was a big Star Wars kid

*((His favourite movie of all time is Legally Blonde but he will NEVER say that out loud))

* Leon’s always out of the country on some government mission so his house is probably pretty barren. He probably just stays with Chris or Claire after missions anyways

* Leon also still probably keeps in touch with Sherry and Ashley. He definitely went to their respective Graduations to support them at least

* He likes to collect little trinkets from his missions. Rocks, lighters, photos etc

* Other people have put this on their Headcannon lists too but I also agree that Leon is a MASSIVE Foodie

* The way to his heart is through a really good breakfast

* He’s also got a massive Sweet Tooth. Again, courtesy of other Headcannon lists

* He’s got low blood sugar so it probably evens out

* ALWAYS coming home from missions exhausted. In fact he’s exhausted on the plane. On the car ride there. DURING the mission. He’s an eepy little guy

* His T-Shots also make him Very Hungry All The Time. He thought it’d even out after a year of being on Testosterone but over a decade later and he still eats like a teenage boy

* ((It’s ok though cuz Chris always has his fridge stocked full. It might just be for Leon who knows))

* Leon’s not really either a Cat or a Dog guy. He likes both equally and would definitely have one of the other if it weren’t for his work

* He also prefers warm weather :))

* He likes to go swimming with his friends whenever he gets the opportunity

* Everyone makes fun of Chris for his Hawaiian shirts but Leon ABSOLUTELY has way too many as well

* Wears socks and jandals. I’m from Aotearoa NZ I’m allowed to say that ok

*BIG Mitski & Lana Del Rey fan

*I also imagine he probably likes older music like Madonna or Bowie or Blondie

* He’s not very good at it but he likes to paint his nails

* Or he just lets Rebecca or Claire do it for him

* If he goes a long time without cutting his hair either he’ll also put it up in a lil ponytail :)

* He’s got a big ol toothy, lop-sides grin.

* I recon he also involuntarily bites his tongue when he’s genuinely smiling too

* I said before he keeps trinkets and stuff from his missions but he absolutely keeps more personal mementos too. For example;

* He bought himself an old Spanish version of Don Quixote for Luis

* He keeps his old cop uniform in his closet

* He stole Chris’ shades and never returned them

* Still has one of Adas missing rings, etc etc etc

* Similarly to physical objects, Leon also picks up on the habits of people he’s met from his missions

* He always double-checks the barrel of his gun after he’s seen Chris do it so many times

* Holds his knife in his left hand after Krauser

* Very rarely smokes on occasion to remember Luis

* Picked up more Advanced First-Aid after Rebecca ((she also insisted it would be helpful))

* I could go on forever

* Leon can’t imagine ever actually being able to settle down and retire because of his work, but if he could, he would love to be a Father :))

* One last silly one cuz this list has gotten surprisingly serious; Leon unironically references Vines All The Time. It will drive everyone around him insane

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definesanity · 4 months ago

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The Weird Ones

Uzi Doorman was not your typical teenage girl. In fact, she was the farthest thing from it.

Her mom had managed to get her into college, bless her, and in Copper City, no less, but people STILL knew she was the daughter of Khan.

Greeeeeeeeeat.

Thankfully, there is someone who doesn't mind. Actually, a few.

First, Lizzy and Russian Doll. No, that is genuinely her name, and isn't bullied for it due to Lizzy. Lizzy is the atypical mean girl, and Doll is... well, a friend of her's, and a Russian transfer student.

Thad is cool. Not much to say other than, minus the ones he hangs out with, he's decent enough.

And, then, there are the last three. Who are, by far, the strangest.

Nathaniel, Victoria, and Jessica Elliot. Or, more commonly, for some reason, N, V, and J.

They're the adopted siblings of Tessa James(who calls their daughter James???) Elliot, a girl who is preeeeetty high up on the social ladder. N, as much as the guy is a golden retriever, is a nice guy at the end of the day.

Which then led her to meeting V and J, and then realising that she was gay as fuck.

She means. Come on! V walks around with that coat showing off her honkers and J is. Well she definitely awakened some things!

So, it came to Uzi. Alone. Groaning that she's single. Again. For like. The. Fifth time that day.

Her phone buzzed and her arm nearly dislocated at the speed at which she grabbed it.

It was a text from N:

Golden_Retrievers_Have_Gentl: Hey! Busy? Just wanna hang out and chat about something! :D

Uzi's reply was simple, but effective:

DarkXWolf17: pls holy shit i am so fucking bored rn. where u wanna meet

Golden_Retrieves_Have_Gentl: Outside of campus! I'll wait for ya! ;3

Finally, something to do.

---------------

Eh, it's not bad.

It is just. Chatting. But, to be honest, Uzi likes N's stories. They're pretty funny at times, especially when it's concerned over Tessa and her less-than-posh ways.

Still, N eventually paused, oddly enough, and made a thinking pose.

"Yo, Thinker, you doing okay?" Uzi was gonna kill herself later for caring.

"Eh? Oh, right, sorry! Just thinking, is all... so, um. Can I ask for a favour?"

"...What is it." Uzi didn't look amused.

"Hey, I'm not asking you to win the Election! It's just, you're single, right?"

"Thanks for the reminder." Uzi didn't look impressed, and N sucked in a whince.

"Yeeeeeah... well, not related, can you... keep an eye on my sister, please? I got a call from Tessa who happily reminded me I'm needed for something, soooooooo..."

"Oh, sure, yeah. Who is it? V? J?"

"Cyn!" N replied happily.

"Who." Uzi's flat expression could be framed in a museum. Or, heck, give her a record for "Most Flat Expression" so she can be famous for something *other* than being the spawn of Khan Fucking Doorman.

"...Oh, right, yeah! Um. She's the youngest, although we're all about the same age anyways, she's pretty short, has yellow eyes, and is really sweet!"

Uzi raised an eyebrow. "...Then how come I haven't seen her before, then?"

"She's homeschooled! She's a little, uh..."

"I heard you were. Talking shit. Big Brother."

"OH JESUS CHRISTMAS--" N jumped five feet into the air, and to the side, revealing to Uzi the most autistic girl she's ever seen in her entire life.

Cargo shorts. Fucking. Cargo. Shorts.

Cyn was, put simply, kinda cute. And also heavily autistic, from what Uzi can tell.

N whispered to her, *"Hey, just so you know, she's not doing that on purpose! She has a speech problem!"*

"Annoyed Expression. I can, hear you. Dickhead."

"OHLOOKATTHETIMEIGOTTAGOANDDASHNOWBYYYYYYYE!" N ran away, leaving behind a goth in a hoodie and beanie with an autistic college(???) girl with a t-shirt with Jenny Wakeman on it and cargo shorts.

"...'Annoyed Expression'?" Uzi quoted. It definitely was strange. But Uzi herself had scoured a 97% of of 100% for an autism test so she can't say shit.

"Mm. I heard that my, facial expressions are hard to, read." Cyn's voice was slightly deep, and her words were slowly spoken. Kinda like a robot. Neat.

"Therefore. Neutral Expression. I announce my, current expression." Cyn finished with a shrug.

"...Yeah, that's fair I guess. Still, does it get tiring?"

"Bemused Look. Does it not get hot, wearing black clothes?"

"Bite me." Uzi said by reflex. A habit she developed when she was younger that sticked with her even now.

"Fair."

-------------

From there, Uzi learnt three things:

Thing One: Cyn is highly autistic, yes, but underneath the 'tism was a pretty intelligent gal. Although most that knowledge was in robotics.

(I know you're reading this Archie, and I didn't say it at the time, but 'the 'tism' was the best thing I'd heard all day /gen --Ryuusei.)

Thing Two: 'Criss-Cross Applesauce' is now the funniest thing Uzi has ever heard.

Thing Three: Um.

...She was cute, okay??? Don't blame her! Bite her!

Which led to about a few months later. Wherein she was sitting down near some statue and N was looking at her patiently.

"...So I might be dating you sister." Uzi croaked out. She didn't look dead inside, but she has a feeling she will be dead on the outside sooner than later.

N, so far, took it well. "Oh! Um. Okay! I don't mind at all! Who is it? V? J?"

Uzi made a pained noise that sounded like that of a quiet banshee scream.

N then had his two braincells knock together.

At the same time Cyn leaned over Uzi, and waved, smiling.

N had a dial-up moment. "Wah???"

"Amused Expression. You look, surprised, Big Brother, N."

"Whajiah--YEAH???"

He gestured to Uzi. Uzi went near him, and he leaned next to her ear.

"Okay, I mean, I'm not mad, really! Just a little surprised! I mean, like. The claws???"

Uzi looked at Cyn. Her 'claws' are moreso just sharp nails.

"Spicy." Uzi replied with a smile.

N looked very confused.

Cyn went '^_^'

#ryuusei's works #cynzi #md uzi #md cyn #a human au? in this day and age? i know!

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pupsicle-paws · 2 months ago

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Hi guys. I made a reddit post explaining my experience with being an alterhuman (therian)

Can someone please read into it and help me?

It all feels so surreal. It's like I'm going through figuring out I'm trans all over again, all the confusion, the want, the agony, the pain, the anger, it's all too much right now, especially since it's so much more confusing than just gender.

It's something I feel like only I have experienced and it makes me feel so alienated.

I feel so utterly alone

Edit; reddit is being weird so here's the text;

Species dysphoria?

Hi, I'm a newly awakened alterhuman or therian to be specific.

I'm just a bit worried because my experience feels so much more powerful and effective than other therians I've seen.

I know its oversaturated online, and it's so much more complex than it's portrayed, but with how it affects me, I just feel like I'm so much different than the other people in my own community, like I don't even belong.

I guess it's because being an alterhuman and feeling inhuman just affects me so much and takes such a nasty toll on my mental well being that u can't help but feel like I was cursed to have it harder than others.

I'm not too into lycanthropy, and by what I mean by that is that I'm not as knowledgeable on it than therianthropy and the like. But it sounds almost appealing to me, like it's something I can resonate with but it also doesn't sound like me at all.

My experience with my body, with dysphoria, dysmorphia, it's all been hell for me and I can't find any thing to soothe myself.

So if anyone can help, give me advice, lead me in the right direction, for someone to tell me I'm normal and not insane, please do so.

Here, I'm going to say what I feel and what's been developing over the years;;

So when I was younger, I may or may not have shown signs of some neurodivergancy of some kind. I'm not sure what I have, could be autism, could be just me being weird, who knows. But I definitely didn't grow out of some of my weird kid habits. It's always been a struggle for me to grow up in general and let go of childish things. That's probably why I still have stuffed animals in my bed at nearly 18 years old.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, anyways, I used to feel very strong urges to be like an animal as a kid. It's normal kid stuff, yeah, but it never went away. Over the years it turned into wearing blotchy fursuits and meowing at my teachers and pretending to wag my invisible tail to me having extreme delusions.

Now, it's not just a silly kid thing. It's something, a thing, a creature inside of me that's angry at my body and that nothing lines up.

I feel like im going crazy the longer I deal with this, like every year passes by and I become more and more aware of how everything's wrong and nothing is perfect or even near that. I used to be able to deal with it, it was fine years ago when I was 15 and happy with myself. I understood that I had a spiritual body inside of me that didn't match up, but I didn't realize it'd haunt me later on and I'd become insane over the fact that it's all wrong.

It all feels like gender dysphoria, which I do deal with as a trans man. But instead of just being my gender and how my organs and body parts and voice and whatever don't line up with being masculine like I want, it's everything all at once.

My eyes, my hair, my legs, my feet, my nails, my teeth, my jaw, my arms, everything. Just from head to toe, everything is misshapen beyond beleif and I don't understand why I feel this way.

I can't snarl or growl like I want, I can't move my ears at the sound of a noise far away, I can't wag or curl my tail, I can feel my wings move on my back, I can't retract my claws, I can't see in the dark.

All my human senses, all my human feelings don't overlap with my animalistic ones. Whatever being is inside of me is constantly in a state of distress, anger, anxiety, sorrow, all because I'm a human in a human body.

It's like some evil celestial being put the soul of everything inhuman into a human body and told them to pretend to like it when it's just agony to deal with.

I'm in agony and it won't go away.

This thing inside of me is hurt.

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scummrevisited · 3 months ago

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tumblr wouldn't let me answer this directly so screencap it is hey anon this answer got way too long so i'll put everything under the cut. how could you tell i have an autism diagnosis, contains major spoilers for tales of monkey island. i already talked abt the events often on my blog but jic DHFG

monkey island? well the first 4 games are just. decent stuff happening, funny protagonist guybrush threepwood just does his silly adventures, not much angst happening there really, some dialogue and events can be interesting to analyze in serious contexts but theyre not really meant to be taken serious, for those 4 games i'll group em together as a 4. not that much going on but theres a few tense moments, but again, not meant to be taken super seriously, i will note in the third game elaine gets turned into a golden statue which logically worries him a lot but once again. not meant to be taken as super tragic angst, another note is at the ending of monkey island 2 where guybrush gets repeatedly stabbed and otherwise hurt via a voodoo doll, the animations accompanied with it look quite painful so i'll give MI2 a 4 for overall and 8 for the ending puzzle

tales of monkey island however? ysee. the first chapter already starts out strong with the fact that. guybrush's left hand is infected by a weird possessive pox he caused. so theres some guilt in there even though hes very stubborn abt the fact he didn't truly cause it, even though he did. but this doesn't go in very deep so i wouldn't take it as real angst yet. his hand is now possessed and sometimes acts on its own and its more geared towards humor, but occasionally has more distressing moments. and it seems like this was gonna be a bit of a bigger plot point? but his hand gets cut off at the start of chapter 2 and its not rlly touched on again HDCFVG

chapters 2 and 3 are decent. there's some moments that touch more on guybrush's character compared to the previous 4 games but i wouldn't say a heavily lot happens, i will say though theres moments where guybrush's worry for elaine being infected by the pox is touched on.

chapter 4.. lord, its basically a whole court room thing a la ace attorney. and its touched on all what guybrush caused. but its more cartoonish and illogical which is kind of what the whole thing is about. those charges are in fact stupid. however in the later parts of the chapter it gets more touched on the actual nasty things he did especially once elaine gets in the courtroom. like yep guybrush youre stupid as hell and causing a lot of problems for everyone. this does get into the realm of angst at times which is true, but not the juice of the series yet, as the chapter goes on however, one of the main cast characters thats been with you since the second third and fourth chapters, morgan leflay, straight up dies. and you find her corpse within one of the rooms and its eeringly silent, only ambience no music, it is in fact a rather touching moment and guybrush himself is rather very distressed about it. this is where the real angst begins and a tonal shift has happened. and really lets you set in that yes, characters do in fact die in a non humor way here. and yes, guybrush gets to realize that no one lives forever

ysee the tonal shift is already felt well throughout, you get to the last puzzle of chapter 4 and all goes well its ending with a classic catch up story cutscene, lechuck whos been turned into a human shows up, fun talks until… lechuck just stabs guybrush straight through the heart. where guybrush says his last words to elaine and he dies. like not even a gotcha fake death hes just actually dead. the chapter ends there.

chapter 5 revolves around guybrush being in the afterlife, he awakens as a ghost in the afterlife, with holding something in his pocket known as the last shred of life. ysee you carry something with you in the afterlife you were truly clutching onto when dying, which differs from every character in the afterlife. you make your way through the afterlife where you meet morgan! which really sets in the fact they both truly Died. and also dabbles more in their relationship! talks of death and how guybrush can still enter the mortal realm bc of his last shred of life, which morgan can't. it does get dabbled with there.

ysee you finally meet elaine again! but youre a ghost! and lechuck is there! and lechuck manages to persuade elaine into becoming his demon bride basically turning her evil. and she straight uses the rootbeer concoction to straight up "kill" ghost guybrush sending him back to the afterlife, which is actually a reference to the first game! where guybrush manages to do the exact same thing to a different ghost. so thats a role reversal for sure. the animation of guybrush being zapped with it looks rather painful too. then you manage to find your own corpse again. which you have to repossess. and you manage that and thus walk around as an undead zombie of some kind. you're finally able to confront lechuck again and he uhh. straight up grabs guybrush by the neck and lifts him up and gets real threatening and uh. punches him. aggressively. straight up beats him up like i'm legit not exaggerating he fucking beats him up.

ysee this is the last puzzle of tales chapter 5. it plays off of the last puzzle formula in the previous games, where your always taken around locations in a timed manner out of ur control. ysee what tales did with this formula is that the way guybrush gets sent to a different location is that he gets fucking punched or kicked there and guybrush sounds like hes in PAIN. theres even a voiceline literally saying hes bleeding. he's absolutely miserable and can barely make his usual funny comments anymore, and still tries to make funny quips but is interrupted by pain or by getting punched. at some point he's literally keelhauled. eventually when you finish the puzzle you sacrifice the last shred of life and youre.. at first suggested to be stuck forever in the afterlife. you sacrificed your last shred of life thus have no way to be in the mortal realm again. and its fucking eerie, much like when you find morgans corpse, the last section of the game finds you at the crossroads unable to go to any other room, no music playing, and pure ambience. it was fucking jarring. eventually you just use the ring on the crossroads and guybrush gets a happy end by being fully back to life as a living humen being but uhh. yeah he went through it. he fucking did dude.

so tales of monkey island? the first 4 chapters i'd say about a 6 bc yeah its silly but the stakes are a bit higher, chapter 4's ending + most of chapter 5 is definitely an 8. and the final puzzle a fucking 10 bc jesus christ man

i haven't played return to monkey island yet so i cannot judge that one just yet, and i'd prefer no spoilers, i'm planning to play return after i finish escape.

i was gonna write about nelson tethers too but i ran out of energy a bit so, anon expect a reblog of this post abt nelson too soon bc man he's fucking going through it as well

#dectalk answering #uhhh. hi

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felikatze · 7 months ago

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I forgot did I ever ask for chrom facts? I remember asking for Roy and Marth facts. Anyways If I already have then tell me facts for a character of your choosing

This one is surprisingly more difficult as i've made so much unhinged Chrom content that i need to remember what is blatantly my five layers of headcanons and what isnt. uhm.

Chrom's base Falchion (legendary sword passed down for generations) has the same might as an iron sword. It's an unbreakable iron sword.

Despite Robin being the literal self insert, Chrom is the only character force-deployed on every map, and the only character with convoy access

Chrom (and male Robin) is the only dad in awakening to have a child associated with him. All other kids are associated with the mother instead.

Chrom is very clumsy. When he was a kid, he smashed a wall while training, and it never got fixed, so he and Lissa presumably covered the incident up by moving shrubbery over the hole.

This smashed wall is a legitimate plot point as it allows Lucina to inflitrate Ylisstol Castle and stop Chrom from being permanently wounded by an assassin

Speaking of Lucina, he really like. Post timeskip he's like, 25 MAX, and father of an Infant, so when a like, 18yr old girl shows up and says he's her dad. He's just like. Ok. My daughter now. Truly dad of the year. All his shortcomings as a father are External Circumstances he had no influence over ok

Literally all Chrom seasonal units are so mad to be seasonal units. Chrom hates wearing anything besides his stupid onesie. My respect tbh. I get it.

I'm a firm believer he has resting bitch face. The Autism Stare

I fear if i say more I'm going to get into deranged headcanon territory. I've written enough fanfic abt him tbh.

My fav thing abt his characterization is that he sees himself as a tool of violence yet deeply admires pacifism. It's like. He loves peace in theory. When its personified by his sister. But he just. doesn't know how to put it into practice.

This is especially notable in his first meeting with Gangrel, where Gangrel has a hostage and is demanding Emmeryn negotiate. And Chrom just immediately gets aggressive amd escalates the situation into a fight. Yeah sure he was being goaded, but the guy has a surprisingly short temper!

It's a very inch resting dualism and I am a total sucker for everytime fanworks do more with that than the game does. Bcuz most FE protags. Love peace obviously. But they see violence as the means to the end, they still see themselves as holier than thou, whereas Chrom really doesn't. Death is death. Gives him flavor.

It's blatantly obvious in his behavior and skills that he was NOT meant to be the leader. Most FE protags had their parents die to become king, but he had his SISTER die. He would've been behind any of HER heirs (if she had any) in the line of succession and probably only ran a militia because he never expected to be king at all. He can't negotiate for shit on a political level, only convince people on a personal one. He's very blunt and honest (...autism swag...), and not cut out for intrigue, as well as easily manipulated.

For real he would he fucked without Robin.

Can you tell I love him and think about him a normal amount. Chrom my wife

#Feli gets asked #fire emblem

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alterhumansafespace · 7 months ago

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Hello there! This is the Alterhuman Safe Space account. I’m here to answer whatever questions I can and support those who need a shoulder to cry on. Currently this account is only ran by one person so I may not be able to full understand some experiences, but I won’t turn anyone away because of it.

I hope to post asks, and teach the terminology of the community, teach others about the community, and provide a safe space for those who don’t fit in the social norms. That is the primary goal of this account.

This account will block those who’re unacceptably hateful and rude. This is for main account runner and any potential other runners of the account’s safety and mental health. Hate speech against people of color, the LGBTQ+, alterhumans, furries, and others are considered unacceptable under any circumstances.

This is a 13+ safe blog, though there may be some swearing depending on which runner is speaking.

Rules for Asks:

1. Respect the account and whoever runs it as those who run it are still living beings. If you don’t like something, feel free to block or not interact.

2. Don’t put your name in the ask box. This is to protect yourself. This does mean you can ask anonymously if it feels more comfortable for you.

3. This account will understand constructive criticism and will fix any mistakes on the blog. Either by doing an update post, or by reblogging the new information.

4. If you have a request, feel free to DM this account instead of sending an ask. This can include identities, shift types, or other topics like sexualities. Just remember this is primarily a blog for alterhumans in the end and our primary content will be for those of that demographic.

5. Please don’t flirt with anyone on this account. It’s not cute or funny and will be considered as harassment if it’s continuous. You get a single warning before you’re put on a do not answer list.

6. Don’t be afraid to tell the blog your own experiences and alterhuman identities! We are accepting of pretty much any and all identities (Unless it’s genuinely harmful to others).

7. Please read the account runners’ introductions as they will give you a name, pronouns, and emoji tag to refer to them in asks and pms. It will also let you know what identities are on and off the table to ask about. This does include nonhuman identities, but again, try to stay on the alterhuman topic.

Main Account Runner:

My name is Saiph (pronounced as Safe) and I’m 21 years old. I use He/They pronouns.

I’ve been awakened for around a year, but possibly awakened longer than that without knowledge of the therian/otherkin community for about 2-3. I identify primarily as otherkin for simplicity, but I’m also fictionkin, copingkin and trying to figure out if my copinglink is more of a kith/hearttype.

Other things to note are that I have ADHD and autism with my special interests being dnd, dragons, stars, deities, and mythology. My hobbies include drawing, crocheting, reading, writing and music.

I’m one person who will swear on this account.

Any of my non-alterhuman identities are on the table to ask about. But pushing into traumas that may be identified with them are not at all ok to ask about.

You’re free to ask me details about any and all of my alterhuman identities.

My identities not related to alterhumanity:

White, Trans Man, Demiboy, Omniromantic, Demiaroace, Androsexual, Ambiamorous, Furry, beginner witch

My alterhuman Identities specifically being:

Otherkin- I’m dragonkin. I tend to equate it primarily with western dragons despite my kintype also having fur. The scales are dark, but look as if they captured the night sky within them. It’s eyes are a cool silver color with black sclerae the horns capturing nebulae.

Shifts~ Mental shifts, emotional shifts, perception shifts, phantom shifts, astral shifts, aura shifts, bi-locational shifts, spiritual shifts

No currently known shift triggers or grounding methods. I tend to push through the negative shifts with this and remind myself that I am physically a human.

Fictionkin- I am a fictionkin of Julian Devorak from the game “The Arcana A Mystic Romance”. This is my oldest known alterhuman identity.

Shifts~ Emotional shifts, mental shifts, minor phantom shifts (mostly clothing/figure/hair when it’s a good shift. Negative shifts include me looking like his reversed form, or taking on aspects of it)

One shift trigger happens if I let my hair grow out or I dye my hair auburn. Though those cause positive shifts. Negative shift triggers aren’t fully known yet as it’s normally too late when I am trying to figure it out. No known grounding for the negative shifts as my emotions are way too high and may need to sleep the feelings off.

Copingkin- This one was figured out very recently, but I’m a Fenrirkin. This is one of my less shifty alterhuman identities, but when I do they’re not all that pleasant.

Shifts~ Minor phantom shifts, emotional shifts, bi-locational shifts, perception shifts, to be further figured out

Normally the shift triggers happen when I’m in a heightened emotional state, so normally I almost always have an emotional shift up. My perception of reality gets kinda messed up as my coping kin basically embodies the emotions of betrayal and suspicion of authority/humans. I do get minor phantom shifts of chains whenever I wear a choker. The worst of these shifts include me wanting to bite into my hand, primarily the right hand, as hard as I can. There are no known full on grounding methods. I believe talking out my emotions is the only way known right now to ground myself. Either that, or give into the need to bite into my hand as hard as I can.

⚠️This identity for me is primarily a negative experience during shifts. As much as it might sound cool to have a copingkin of Fenrir, for me it’s not exactly sunshine and rainbows most of the time.⚠️

Copinglink- Anatolian Shepherd/Saint Bernard mix is my copinglink. I’m trying to figure out if this is a kith/hearttype as I ado feel a familial bond with the two breeds

Shifts~ Minor phantom shifts, mental shifts, sensory shifts, perception shifts

I originally linked onto and started identifying as a generalized overview of medium and large sized dogs due to a pretty nasty breakup. My loving style is that of a dog and so are my behaviors when I’m hurt but I’m not feeling like turning it on myself. It was an identity to cope with everything going on at the time. As of the current moment it may be copingkith as I don’t identify myself with either breed, but I can feel the connection of what they were bred to do and the overall mannerisms of dogs shift triggers normally happen when I’m feeling like I’m in survival mode. There’s no grounding needed as eventually it goes away and isn’t detrimental to my physical health.

Questioning- Raven and/or crow kith/hearttype

Shifts~ None, I just have a very familial connection with them. So no shift triggers or grounding for shifts of these creatures

Sign of tag> 🐉

#alterhuman #otherkin #copinglink #copingkin #fictionkin #questioning theriotype #alterhumanity #intro post #SaiphTheOtherkin #send asks #ask blog

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docmerlin · 10 months ago

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Fannish Fest February, Day 1: your first fandom

my first fandom was zelda! when i was 11, i had some friends who were really into it, and would talk about it all the time. i'd never really played games like that before-- i was into nintendo, but hadn't really played any of the main series other than mario-- but they made it seem SO COOL that i decided to give it a try.

i'd just made my first Big Purchase with the 3DS (it was 2011, i sold a bunch of my old games to save up for it, regretfully including my DSi) and OoT 3D had come out recently, so i figured that was a good pick. i remember having to convince my mom it was ~appropriate~ (she thought anything that involved magic was satanic ofc) before i bought it, but i got there eventually.

as far as i can remember, this was my first big media-based special interest. i went in DEEP, it was all i wanted to talk about, and looking back at a letter i wrote to myself then i'm like. how did no one pick up on the autism

i wasn't active in the zelda fandom in the same ways i do fandom nowadays, but i was decently active on the zelda dungeon forums. i remember sharing a poem or two, discussing theories, things like that. i posted the beginnings of an OC fic on quotev at one point that never went anywhere, but that was technically my first fanfic fjdskfjd

i remember through zelda dungeon i found peanutbuttergamer, who i still watch to this day. he opened the gates to a bunch of other youtubers i still keep up with too! and honestly zelda in general was the Gateway to my fandoms, i eventually got into anime and homestuck and it was all downhill from there (i say with so much love)

i still love zelda, though i'm not too involved in the transformative fandom side of things-- although after making a friend who's also very into it (hi @rosemirmir) i've been appreciating it more and seeing a bunch of stuff i wouldn't have otherwise. don't know if i'd be interested in writing fic for it, but it's nice to appreciate from the sidelines! 💕

these days, i'm not really in contact with the people who originally got me into zelda. but a few years back i did get to thank one of them for creating such a formative experience for me, and tell them i wouldn't be the person i was today without their zelda rambles 😄

my favorite zelda game is twilight princess, though after finishing link's awakening i think that's up there too. i'm currently playing through every game in order and it is a long journey, but i'm excited to see the rest of all the games i've barely scratched the surface of!

@thepromptfoundry

#Fannish Fest February #zelda

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tansyuduri · 9 months ago

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My Merlin watch with my dad is going so well:

Me: Hes a nosy boy I lvoe him so much Me: Hes such a dork I love him so much

Me: Hes a walking disaster I love him so much

Me: Funfact this is the only time we see Merlin shirtless *sigh*

Dad: ????

Me: Oh that was Arthur's Bi awakening.

Dad: Is that what the fandom says

Me: YEAH! :)

Me: OH Iconic line comeing up! Dad: How well do you know this show? Dad: Sorry I'm making so many jokes

Me: Its fine laugh now cry later :) Me: (On merlin) Hes homosexual or Bi I have not figure it out Dad: Really? *gives me look like I'm fangirling and pushing things*

Me: He is! keep watching you'll see it!

(We're on episode one I will be pointing out every merthur moment. I too did not see it on my many first watches but that was because of the autism. I KNOW NOW and where the show shows it.) For context hes watched it years ago or at least most of it when I was first like YOU GOTTA WATCH THIS. but doesnt rememebr much.

#bbc merlin #merlin bbc #we just finished the first episode #my life #about me

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ravensvirginity · 2 years ago

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thoughts on lazarus planet: legends reborn #1

ngl i was excited that it was a trigon story. sue me

why'd they give the ugliest art of the issue to the raven story 😭 (there's 3 stories in the one issue and they each have different artists)

i wish they hadn't gone with such a toon Raven esque design but she looks cute here (art still isn't my fave tho 😔)

I like the idea of Trigon's sons upon feeling something demonic awakening in them they flee to a church for solace, only for it to fail to protect them. however i would've liked it a lot more if they hadn't then made it clear that trigon actually IS hurt by churches. I miss when trigon wasn't connected to broader demon lore and was just kinda his own thing

STOP GIVING RAVEN BROTHERS. OR SIBLINGS IN GENERAL. god i miss when raven was an only child so much it made her and trigon's relationship so much more meaningful

trigon just killing two of his sons bc they were lame would be ooc for the ntt version but it was also really funny 😔 rip to them tho

(also that further reinforces Raven being his favorite bc he killed them without a second thought but just yeeted her somewhere. yes ik it's bc she's a main character but let me have this

also trigon's 3 sons in this all seem to have the same mother?? how did that happen?? did she know about trigon's true identity and was just cool with it (or maybe she wasn't... 😭) or did trigon keep tricking her??? or are they triplets??? it's not really important since 2 of them are dead now anyway but i'm curious

ngl this DID get me hyped for whatever's gonna happen next so they're doing that right at least

this panel was pretty cool even if i have no idea why she randomly has wings

all in all i don't have particularly high hopes for where this is gonna go but i DO want to know what happens next and it made my autism happy. so has raven/10, i guess

#raven #raven panels #lazarus planet #tuesday spoilers #dc comics #teen titans

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pedotism · 1 year ago

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animation meme autism (gives you war flashbacks)

I HAVE SO MANY ANIMATION MEME IDEAS BUT LET ME MAKE A LIST OF OLD ANIMATION MEMES I LOVE LOVE LOVELVEOVELVEOVEL AND HOPE TO MAKE ONE DAY

youtube

THIS ONE THTHITHSITHSITHISH OK SO I HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND FOR LAVENDER. SO LIKE. more like some backstory-ish stuff so like aging her up till shes the person she is now but still with her inner child. thing i have in mind is to start off with the questions from her parents, friends till deshaun.

honestly this is either for lavender or advil because i can easily see advil working with this too. personally going from like. every they know so like. near, copy, deshaun and ryuk(i feel like they should know ryuk) but im not completely sure, i feel as if its either ryuk or kaito (i am establishing that they actually know eachother right now)

youtube

IM GONNA BE SO HONEST RIGHT NOW THIS ONE IS JUST BECAUSE I NEED A LITTLE BIT OF HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE. im thinking that like this should just be sunflower ship animation. why? because my brain is rotted. its either that or rudy x tobias!! its like same thing different font at this point! nothing special to say about this one (the animation is also just really fun and cute)

youtube

OK OK LOOK. ok no dont look this is just. a really good song.. thinking it should be like maybe tobias for this im sosadf tobias is the only in mind for this like genuinely

youtube

OKOKOKOKOKOKO THIS ONE IS JUST TOO ICONIC!!! this one should just be my sona with either molly or your sona (maybe even both! no reaver though because he doesnt really have a sona ref or snything.,,,,) i just cant do this iconic one i remember replaying this a shit load of times

youtube

ANOTHER ONE THATS JUST BECAUSE ITS CUTE mostly thinking about advil for this one just cuz advil needs more art also i love advil so much

youtube

OKOK THIS ONE THISIHTISHTIS I JUST WANT TO INFODUMP ABOUT JUNICHI (THE MC OF PHANTOMS AWAKENING!!) i love thinking about them so much

youtube

IM SO CRINGE I KNOW BUT I WILL NEVER NOT THINK ABOUT THIS ANIMATION MEME!!!!!!!! this one could be with anyone ill be so honest but youknow. i can defo see this as an emilio / omori thing if i do make it omori themed id make it more pointing towards my future au design

youtube

CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS ONE I WANT TO MAKE THIS GENTLE SKIES THEMED I WANT THE MAIN CHARACTERS TO BE CENTERED IN THIS EXP RAY AND CLOUD i adore writing their fucked up little sotry so much its insane

but tbh animation memes like hotmilk, time lapse and hottudoggu still plaque my mind. i dont think ill ever stop thinking about them!! but thats fine.. holds hand out..

lets be cringe about animation memes..... together holds hand out

#🔪 omo asks #i really like talking about animation memes thank you link

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wolfsplosion · 2 years ago

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Do u have any specific things ud like to see n the new stranger things? :>c

HRHGHRGHH . YES . A LOT OF THINGS . SORRY THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE ↓

Mike and Max friendship; I KNOW it's probably not gonna happen bc there is Shit Going On and they are probably not going to have time for slice of life interactions (this is going to be a reoccurring theme on this list methinks) but the little crumbs of madwheeler bestieism we get make me CRAZY like they are so similar in a lot of ways but also the opposite sides of a coin (e.g. uncaring family situation, Mike coming from wealth and Max from poverty) and every time we see a flashback of the events directly prior to s4 they're next to each other and it only makes me crazier .. I just want like ONE scene of them being platonic best friends PLEASE

Will happy ending; this can mean a lot of different things tbh I just cannot have him die or end unhappy .. this also means that anyone he cares about has to be safe too like Joyce and Jonathan and El and the rest of his friends!! if he's not unequivocally happy in the final episode I will change the trajectory of the Duffer Brothers lives

Eddie flashbacks; like how we see the aftermath of Max's brother's death effecting her, I want to see Dustin mourn too (I mean, I don't Want to see it, I want him to be happy, but like. I want to see it. you know what I mean.) also the rest of Hellfire, especially Lucas and Mike and Erica .. show their reactions too I'm begging . my little pet headcanon is that Eddie made Mike realize some things about himself (🤨🏳️‍🌈❓) (not in a ship way I'm not a freak I just think he had an Awakening) so like seeing him process Eddie's death would be so. it'd be so

Byers-Hopper found family; I think I am almost guaranteed this in some way but I'm still crossing my fingers for it! show me WillEl twin behavior or ELSE

more siblingism in general; I appreciate s4 for giving me more Lucas and Erica screentime crumbs bc they are so sweet and I love their sibling dynamic sm, I wish we got more of that with Mike and Nancy as well like remember in s1 when they were like "no more secrets between us!" and then didn't fucking do anything with that. let them be siblings please

Byl3r (<- censoring for superstitious reasons a.k.a. I do not want to invoke ship discourse here); I have extremely controversial thoughts abt this ship, like as in I don't . I don't really think the writers are gonna . no I shan't say for fear of my life . but it'd be nice if it did!!!! Will deserves to get what he wants all the time always

Steve surviving; I am so fucking scared

parallels between Will and Henry; weird little boys with strange(!!) powers and trauma....... I think they're probably going to do this at least subtly considering the lines are already there in s4 but if they were more direct I'd be happy, I'd probably care a lot more about Henry's whole thing if Will was involved I'm not gonna lie to you

Max getting out of That Whole Situation; I'm not saying what exactly happens at the end of s4 because Ro might be reading this and we haven't watched the end together yet & I don't think he knows what happens . Ro if you are reading this it's fine everything is fine but also it's so not fine and I'm so scared and afraid. Max bestie we gotta get you out of there

more Argyle; speaks for itself, I'm obsessed w that funky lil stoner & I need him to give Jonathan more terrible therapy it's awesome

El autism diagnosis; this one is a joke. or is it. no it is. or is it

time travel; I'll get a little more into this down there ↓ but I think it's likely to be an element of s5 .. we'll see

now hear me out. here's some things I either do Not want or would be very nervous if they included:

Eddie coming back; WAIT STOP HEAR ME OUT PLEASE .. I want him to not be dead as much as the next Eddie fan and I think the ending they gave him was complete horse shit awful. but I also do NOT have any faith that they'd do a bringing-him-back storyline properly . I've read some good fanfic about it which only would make the reality of whatever they'd do more disappointing ! BUT the exception to this is if they pull some time travel bs, which I think is a good possibility tbh, like with the upside down being stuck in the day Will went missing and stuff, and then they could prevent all that from happening in the first place. I'd still be nervous about the quality of the writing but I'm on board w this conclusion nonetheless! but Eddie coming back as Kas or whatever.. well. I'd just be nervous putting that in the hands of the stranger writers I'm sorry

M!leven endgame (<- censoring for superstitious reasons a.k.a. I do not want to invoke ship discourse here); I just don't know how anyone likes them romantically I'm ngl . it's fine if you do please do not come for me I just don't get it . I fear they will end up together anyway but I don't like it . I'm a Mike apologist but El deserves better than a guy that can't even physically say that he loves her

Will with a gun; this sounds like a joke but I'm so serious hglkjfdgk, I know a lot of people want him having a badass moment with a gun mirroring the shot in s1 where he's taken by the demogorgon and that sounds cool but I just. don't think it suits his character I'M SORRYYY I love that he's a protagonist who's gentle and sensitive, there are other characters who can kick ass violent style rather than my special little dude

anyway that's just off the top of my head, I have so many thoughts swirling around in there so I might be back to add more thank you so much

#literally thank you so much for enabling me I'm shaking /pos

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ianiohn · 2 months ago

Text

It was a time the Spirit's said to be awake

While everyone else was sleeping so that

I took to going to sleep at three p.m. and

Would awaken at 11:00 pm and begin my

Day just as I would when it was that I

Might slumber late night into the morning.

And it was that Spirit worked with me

Through the Angels and learned it was for

Me to listen only to John, the Angels said.

And so much happened that I was taught

To do thing's to prepare me (I later found)

To transform into the state that was his

True state and become like him but turned

Around when I shouldn't have and failed.

He had me facing a wall and told me to

Stay there and that he had said not to, yet

My action's were of disobedience and I

Had failed him. It seem's so simple now

When I translate it to you, but it was so

Much more that must be transcribed in

Bits and pieces that it may make sense.

Father came around and tested me and

Again I had shown that I had much to

Learn. He gave me a chance to redeem my-

Self by giving me a task I dare not divulge

As yet not knowing if it will harm another

Or not. Much has transpired and I had been

Shown much later that I was Autistic and

There was the rub, the crux of my problem,

Why I had such anger and unable to under-

Stand even the simplest commands. This

I sought to learn about through the industry

Of mental health, but was rejected at the

Mention of Autism even to not getting past

The secretary who it appeared was screen-

The patient's and lied and insulted me to

Which each superior to the patient's advo-

Cate supported her and her lies. I had to

Resort to social media than will soon be

Banned, to learn what Autism is about and

Deal with it piecemeal which was an im-

Mence help. I shouldn't have been surprised,

Though. My doctor in the Big City told me

I was diabetic and should seek out a support

Group, wherein I learned about diabetes

Standing in line at Walmart having jumped

Into the conversation with two ladies dis-

Cussing it amongst themselves. At time's

It is we who have to take the bull by the

Horn's to find out what is best for us than

To rely on those who really don't care what

Happens to us if we don't have money com-

Ing out of our ears.

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randomclam24 · 1 year ago

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This is an actual quote from a shill on 4chins. Things like this aren't even abnormal here

">le viral bleating hillbilly! >le mass awakening!!1 /pol/ needs to stop deluding themselves about this song it's catchy and it clearly strikes a nerve but this isnt the start of some grand assembly of the disgruntled silent majority this is conservative's swan song confirmation that the demoralization is complete and irreversible cons are whipped dogs cowering, whimpering out their sad tune ready to be taken out back and put down like old yeller so yes, by all means, wail out your 'woe is me' blues but let's stop the delusion of this song having downstream political implications"

Source: https://archive.is/F2ZuO

Life was a mistake [(all our tax money actively goes to people like this (nobody cares))]

Shilling like this is the only voice that permeates the governance of the Western nations at any given moment in time since probably the 20's

This update was shadowban-deleted, so I had to upload it *again*

https://imgur.com/QRQsPXR

Daily reminder that only shilling like the above is God.

Therefore we should throw off our prismatic shackles

Honestly though they *are* in the right. You people have disappointed me so much, it's been by something completely arbitrary to the point itself that I don't just kill myself. I know this and *you* know this. Let's not lie

Update Post like the above are the real reason I hate. People like that talk like that 24/7 and get zero repercussions because they're considered "right", and are! *I'm* in the wrong!

People like this are the ones who need to be taken out back and beaten. But we all know that's not how the police force works. Reference that article about the mentality being trained into them that the poor are cockroaches and that there's an implicit war against the police that constantly has to be quelled. I really wish that were true. In fact it probably has to do with the Masonic aspect of the police fore being actively disrespected, causing Israel to give these quelling demands.

Blame me for drinking overproof Blame *me* for drinking

Really, life is boring generally, so maybe that was more to make it more interesting for a short time

Update I genuinely am the swan song of the white nigger *cattle* *class* before I'm taken out back and shot like a pig

Update autism Trees in the Depths - Kirby Super Star Music Extended - YouTube

I ran out of ideas in life in general, but I came up with a vague concept of an idea which was to go from the idea of the arcade that was in Doom Center and try to make something of that from the ground up with arcade games and other things I have Midway Arcade Treasures on Gamecube I guess is probably the #1 game I would recommend that isn't a particular classic title Just ended up playing Joust and Joust II

I never personally experienced what an arcade in the original context was as a social thing, and that's probably part of my curse of being a near-zoomer millenial, that everything that's good comes to an end like the inverse of a red carpet for me because everything has to be bad for its own sake

Okay

My cousin who took it in the ass said Midway Arcade Treasures, just from watching me play it, which was on Toobin', just said it looks like something meant for bored rich kids

Update Also, I disavow the word "gamer" now. It's so broad, it doesn't mean anything. You're getting at something more specific just saying you like "anime" as an ambiguation, because at least that has personality to it.

If you like a more specific genre, own up to that. "Gamer" as a title is a cop-out for owning up to anything that actually requires something of you in particular, because there is so much casual gaming now, it doesn't come with the territory anymore that you actually strive just because you game.

Update Resident Evil Remake Save Room (Safe Heaven) 1 Hour - YouTube

I don't like you

I don't apreciate you

I'm actually kind of sad that Siren didn't get the kind of wonderment surrounding it that Silent Hill did when, confirmed by experience, Siren is easily more tense

Update I think I know what I mean finally. The way I'm pent up, it's as if I would be being a psychopath or something just because I open up. So that's why I want you to know that I fucking hate you Well that doesn't help my case at all

There was a point in time where I was considering making a Doom wad set in an atmospheric open world in the dead of night where the goal of having enemies in it at all wasn't to make an action experience but deliberately to catch you off guard completely

Am I the only one who thinks that "leitmotifs" in the writing in Silent Hill games like "the door that wakes in darkness, opening into nightmares", or "and at the center of his world is his mother" ultimately lead to nowhere

Somebody commented on a slowed version of one of these tracks uploaded online, what we want isn't these tracks, but the memories we have attached to them or something

What we really want is the swan song of the white n* before we get put down like old yeller lol xd

Update What if on some level I hate everything What if there's nothing I ultimately don't hate

What if I told you Lain in and of itself is overrated If there were more shows like it, I might actually shill for, but it's just the same show over and over - there's nothing more to talk about

What if I want everybody to be told the same thing as if in rap they were being called a "fuck-nigga" because all their advice meant jack shit - then I would end up being one of those that got mowed down in the streets because they gained a bit of hood notoriety Good life

I don't really feel that - I just want everybody to back off

First, allow me to remove the poop from my moccasins

Update No, I can't do *enough* to make people feel like shit

Update I'm the kind of person who just takes these soundtracks and doesn't really beat the game Resident Evil

But I did play it, to a decent extent on every difficulty

I'm going to just sit here and be a piece of shit until somebody shoots me

Update Life is totally meaningless, you just have to accept it and get used to it

Update I'm an evil person, and everything I do should be monitored. Please pay more attention to me

Infrastructure won't survive the incompetence crisis Spread the word, even though there are like two Republicans who already know that who aren't drooling retards etc. etc. etc. that the liberal said about them

Every day sucks and I wish for death

8/14 night It is no longer Sunday, so I've been at work already. Hopefully, the program will be done before morning, and then I can show it off, but that will also almost inevitably lead to having to admit that each major unit was only supposed to last around 2 hours each, while I started this in January. It's that bad.

Update That was, for once, a solid 2-hour block of work. I don't think I've done that for real since trying to get into Missouri S&T at Rolla. Now there's just the last half of the last unit, which is shorter than the others.

By the way, I left the Resident Evil remake save room music playing the whole time, and when it shut off, it was during this segment where, in trying to give the scope of the future of web design and development, they just have two Indian CEOs shill about virtual reality, and with the effect of the music gone, suddenly it was about all I could focus on, the fact that I don't want to sit here and write out how these people are getting paid so much to say that.

Oh, and I just stopped taking my meds in secret cold-turkey starting about two days ago.

My mom in particular was acting like she was trying to sedate a rampaging bull, but in the end they're not even prescribing for that. It's for anxiety at worst and then also depression.

Update Well, it's done. That was three and a half hours total as a session, with one short break.

Now either we have to consult with whoever needs to be contacted over IBM Skillsbuild once day breaks, or I could just leave it for even longer and let my parents think I'm still working on it for a while.

Update So it's near morning now. Still have another solid hour, but still

Web designer was one of the career paths through this program that only involved one credit hour.

I worked out my arm muscles, slowly this time.

I checked my room and the bathroom after taking the trash out and decided they're not really in a state that I'd want to clean them anyway

I have nothing to do.

If it's true that this is the last time I'm going to be required to do something without already getting a paycheck at least in the meantime, that would be so great.

8/15 I trimmed the bushes for $30 - I still have only ~$80 grand total

So technically there is enough to get an external hard drive - the question is how large do you want it - or in the long run how large am I going to need it

8/16 night Okay, so based on the transfer speeds, the best deal overall stands out as "WD My Book" at 4TB for $99.99.

I'm still trying to sell the Xbox 360.

Update Since that studying session at midnight, my sleep schedule is out of whack. You can't just plop out a bed and skip to morning like it's Minecraft.

8/16 I mowed the entire lawn, so I'm getting paid for that - I can already afford the external hard drive which is disproportionately large, and the game sales are going well since they've been priced down significantly. The idea with any further booze was to wait until I have permission to drive somewhere on my own without someone there with me. That way I could actually go to a liquor store - the point was to keep expenditures down, since the best alternative that can be found in regular stores was this $30 1L overproof rum

I don't even know what I want to spend money on.

Basically I wasn't going to play that one game until I have the ridiculous amount of alcohol and then I could see what happens

Update Someone bought the whole set of things I was selling, and he made the deal for $100 - I figured not everything would sell individually, so

I did the math and figured he would be getting Silent Hill 4 Xbox for $5 instead of the normal price, with everything else factored in. I asked him if he had played Silent Hill, any of the games, before, and he had played the first and maybe two or some other one, so I just figured give him the deal.

Now I have more money than I know what to do with, starting tomorrow once I'm taken to the bank. I'm going to try to be the one to drive so I can normalize that.

Honestly wasn't expecting that much from the sale. Now I'm going to have about $130 left after getting the external hard drive with 4TB I'll have no idea what to do with.

8/17 night I've decided against getting any electric scooter, because we just don't have those kinds of funds.

I already played some arcade games tonight. What else am I supposed to do all day? My sleep schedule is just as out of whack as before.

Realistically, they're probably not going to let me drive on my own at all - would there ever be a point in time where they're all out but left a car behind in the garage?

8/17 Alright. Order is in, and I have another 100-proof Captain Morgan.

When I asked if I could drive there, I was just told automatically "no". That's going about as I expected.

What if I literally just take a bicycle

Update Right now, I'm stuck just doing a back-and-forth through email with the program I'm included in. I still have until Tuesday before the external hard drive arrives.

Update I'm so sorry I do this - Captain Morgan 100-proof, now less watered down so there's minimal liquid intake Good memories really do come rushing back all of a sudden

Half the time, I think it's actually going to be worth it to recreate dreams I have just in and of themselves with no further context, in 3D, no less - but that ultimately means professional 3D modeling - because basic geometry rendering isn't going to recreate the experience.

It's basically, how many hoops do I have to jump through, which I hate, and then everybody's advice ultimately amounts to "don't even attempt such a thing" when the going gets this high-maintenance. But I do - but I do - I do want to

It's so borderline, I don't know what to do with that even personally.

I guess having the N-word pass still means you can get it revoked, per se. You know how in obsessive fandoms they have "how you doin', every-pony?"

Yeah there was a definitive point in playing Earthbound while drunk for the sake of getting the kicks out of it or something that my eyes following my eye floaters started to feel more real than the screen, and that's when I projectile-vomited. I want that but bypassing the vomiting, so we're doing it with more concentrated liquid. Judge me because I'm not setting a good example - tell him

It was fun and I don't really have any hecks (?) to give

Update I always hated the idea of having any cop-out, but I think it might actually be accurate to my case - "I can't handle no liquor" I'm going to barf this shit up - that's obviously my first instinct. Give me an earful

Update At Philmont, I heard "never trust a fart", and I guess that's much more relevant on the trail than anywhere else.

Now it's "never trust a burp" - I can't see how people can slam down a shot glass and ask for more just like that.

There's more specifically recommended by "Specialisterne" on IBM Skillsbuild - I guess I should do that

I'm an idiot for doing this

You know what I feel compulsive in saying that every time such a thing comes up What if No.

*ukulele cover* "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" etc.

But seriously, when were we *ever* going to find a future? (Nobody wants to *say* it but, *nobody cares*)

I guess you're just not allowed to say that. What is Socialism in and of itself? What happens when you have it of a Nationalist variety?

(Everybody works together)

Shoutout to: (What games have we got stacked up here) Ty the Tasmanian Tiger

Everybody's "advice" is contingent on the assumption, you just don't want to go that high-maintenance in the first place, but that doesn't bode well for me.

Update "Blaster, blaster"

There isn't going to be another XXXTentacion. When did you realize life isn't worth having? etc.

Update I think half of what makes me okay with drinking when it comes down to the decision to go through with it literally *is* a complete disregard for what people in general think - because it's not casual drinking we're talking about here - this is pretty serious

It's like I want to be able to just be youthful and stupid as a blessing, but it's starting to bypass me with age, so I have to just take it back by brute force

I actually asked my mom, when she dotingly called me "child" - where after I chastised her a little over a reference sounding like "manchild" (which my dad literally *has* used as an insult to me once) - at worst, I still would find it interesting to build a Lego set according to an elaborate setup book scheme, but I don't play with them like *dolls*, and she acknowledged me because my little sister, who already has a boyfriend now for a few years, got an "architect" Lego set to build with him.

Elon Musk himself, if it wasn't a fake, said something like, having a girlfriend hits different when you know she's there according to gangstalking etc.

If everybody and their grandmother saw what I'm writing here, I'm sure they would think, this boy's work ethic is so great, let's hire him - let me *prove* to you that I can have a change of heart - this is a *stage*, okay?

Update If anything, I love being alone enough, it's like, just do away with the anxiety involved

I had a recurring thematic in dreams where my dad's back-room of the basement is actually *expanded* and includes a room way back there that *somehow* everybody has forgotten about where dad used to play emulations of many, many arcade games, and they're all there included on the PC if you meander back there. The idea was, if you get back there, no one remembers the place exists, so you get to enter "the zone" because you know no one will find you.

And, if I'll describe it to any real length, it goes on to include my grandma on my father's side's abode as well, which also no one seems to remember as part of our basement's back-room's expansions. It's kind of interesting as a labyrinth in itself, and it varies from dream to dream.

Joji - you suck charlie is going to be "creepypasta" by "Welcome Home"'s standards because it was heterosexual

I respect people in general enough, I'm not just going to spam the bottom-of-the-barrel of what's on my mind

But that might have more to do with the fact that I don't want people to jump ship on me - straightforward

Yeah, I think this format has overstayed its factor of, "if a white man had a time machine and could go back in time and say whatever needs to be said in the shortest amount of time"

But I'm sure I don't just understand everything myself all right away

Update I know I said some people out there should "roast" me or something, but I think what I *really* want is that somebody just legitimately, organically *intimidate* me.

It's not good to just be without any barriers at all.

Update To an extent, I have this role that isn't constrained by day-job hours, but beyond that understanding, I don't know if people *really* don't take the example

Update One thing I took from the Bible in my own personalized way, admittedly, was that heaven is a place with many mansions. In my dreams are places with many mansions interconnected.

Not all of them are great, though. Some of them have great negative emotional aura.

Update The ultimate fate of Mother 3 embitters me on the fate of gaming. It's, like, if they were going to release something that good, it - apparently *still* would be in such an abstract format, it's not the experience itself you're paying for or get to own, but the "intellectual property" of it in abstract form.

Update I think anyone can understand what "putting all your eggs in one basket" is. It doesn't matter how smart someone is, when it comes down to that. Most of that is when you're at your best. (And yes I put figures of speech in quotations because this is multi-lingual)

Update I have two earplugs I normally use against gangstalking which are basically ring-shaped tiny handles with something like an earbud, and the earbud got stuck in my right ear.

I feel like, all the time when I do this, one of these days I'm gonna own ya, but in real life the government will come in and do that to me sooner.

(By making myself stupider marginally, I give myself effective midwit charm) - is that true?

And once again, not to make anyone panic, although in a way it should

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

"NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON WHO PAID TO RAPE CHILDREN ON EPSTEIN'S ISLAND HAS BEEN ARRESTED."

Update I don't think "competent" describes the kind of expertise needed to write poetically. I wish I had that.

But does the kind of inconsistency to reality that the Magic House has really bear enough meaning to be called "madness" poetically? And yet things like Lacey's Pet Shop has a similar inconsistency in the faces represented in the glitch segments - I'm so sorry

I wish more than I can "muster" - "mustering" is more like, knowing what exactly people respond to (more so than what actual effort can muster)

This shifting of the hand to 180-degrees of what it is usually as a gesture - my little sister once reacted to it in the car when there was no real given context and said that was "dangerous"

I do wish I knew poetry, because then I could carry on in this state like nothing even matters

Since I *don't*, you get: "ay John, it is fucking - *awful* to see ya stupid ass *face* - whare is my lasaga?"

You can leave

I wish somebody would *help* my ass

When I get up, I want to post *poetry* (would be better than the autistic-level spasms I have in bed)

Sublimity: can I even achieve such a thing?

Update In the grand scheme of things, I'm just a retard, but I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to appreciate

There was a point in time where Filthy Frank ironically said "raise your blades in the air everybody", but if *I* posted that, it would feel like I'm breaking the rules or something

Update Mario B3313-abandoned - do *I* feel abandoned? No.

MGS itself has the quote, he who is able to say enough is enough will always have enough. Can I say enough is enough on drinking already? No, I'm still experimenting.

What's up, nyugguz? Bw*bwbw*bwbwbwbw (yeah)

Update I want someone to intimidate me with BEN DROWNED with a vengeance ( )

Update I'm legitimately too scared to replay Five Nights at Freddy's I don't know what made the difference

I'm trying to judge personally whether or not PSA-type content on drunkenness and dying because of it is accurate as it says or not - current diagnosis says it's exaggerating, because it fixates on the examples of when it does happen

Of course, I'm f'ing 28, so if you're 16, disregard

I really don't have a justification for the sheer numbering of years in my life.

I mean, I *tried* - I keep shilling against the system.

When my whole existence starts to feel like a snowglobe inverting within itself when I close my eyes, that's when I would throw up on 40% ABV or lower from the volume of liquid intake.

I guess in a way you could say, what's so bad about saying what's good, everynigger? But at the same time, I'm including everyone in my audience in what I say. That's different from -

Okay, so so far, my parents haven't gotten on me over not showing up to dinner -

Update Unironically, teeth *clenched* because I'm trying to control myself so hard

Quite the River - Mother 3 (Remastered) - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aTJ_rxWd3Q

That doctor in Darling in the FranXX who had 3/4 of a head made into a robot for automating purposes - I relate to that more than what you immediately understand.

Update My parents aren't charging me any rent. I think that's the biggest miracle here. I don't know what it would take to convince me to live in an apartment that charges like $1000 a month. No way.

I'm actually kind of impressed by how much I feel "in orbit" because of the drinking when I close my eyes as opposed to any other time. You don't think it's that bad, until

Update What do you do when you feel like killin' it (Takyon) but you realize you're not that special

In the St. Louis City Museum, they have cylindrical seats that you can spin around in where you let the momentum take over - what do you call that?

I can't into poetry, and that slays me

Yume 2kki's version which was a particular contributor's last version in being included - now it's not even mentioned as to who the user is

My life is a looooong continuum - this doesn't please me

We don't have fun like going to the mini-golf park when the things like water-karts were intact anymore. They had pizza and refillable soft-drinks, and an arcade to go with it, if you had tokens.

My nerves are shot again, and it actually gives me a wonderful sensation.

My dreams include things that you wouldn't expect unless it was a kamikaze-difficulty mod course, but it has more casual things in it too, weirdly enough. I don't know what I'm thinking with this. I'm sorry for bothering people, but at the same time these dreams themselves are particularly profound. I just need a chance to express them, somehow.

I wish, seriously, there was a way to approach this state without this substance - Easterners back in ancient times would do actual drugs, and I don't mean to mention that ironically in any way. Of course it will never be legal in the USA. Even though ecstacy *was*, during the boomers' time. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying, in general, it doesn't seem like more than a midwit IQ is fit for this modern era, unless you're going to give it something more profound for future interpretation!

Update It's by the way that some things can be taken the wrong way into sin that I'm effectively in a prison in my own mind trying to come out with some things, by effect. I've already experienced them, but, too bad.

I did get a YouTube comment once on a video, saying this might be too pleasurable for most people.

And what *is* the point? What is it going to contribute in real life?

Banjo-Tooie: Witchyworld (Wild West Zone) HD - YouTube

Yare yare daze x infinity

Update I don't have anything in taste to say about the fate of the West anymore. Like for example, saying, I hope it turns out well, even in earnest - what if it most seriously doesn't? I can't help that.

Update You know what? I've bought the entirety of Courage the Cowardly Dog and watched it through, but I don't feel like I've really witnessed the horror of Courage the Cowardly Dog. You know what I'm sayin'?

Update I don't want my youth to leave me, but I'm 28.

Update I think at some point - yes, I remember - I got the gold-plated Pokemon card for Pokemon 2000 or Pokemon the first movie, because it was the first showing.

Now, the equivalent of that kind of drama is, life itself has forsaken you, so why don't you just chill for a moment?

(Insert the Nietzschean aspect of that, that kings of their time are expected to "wait")

If I didn't have any spite over that otherwise, there still is the kerfuffle over "mulatto broccoli" Like, this is all you're doing? Okay

Update Asking, what do I want with zoomers, seriously? is like asking, what if I had kids, and wanted to bestow everything I knew upon them? I'm smart, but I'm not that wise

"Aye"

There isn't exactly that much sense where we're coming from. Things like Pokemon legends from the initial movies are just like excuses. But they're cool I guess. Life is a shit, 10 million dead cops etc.

Actually I don't repent. If I could have anything I want without these people I live with that I was spawned from, that would be great.

Update All things considered, do I hate my parents or people like my parents as much as the generic shills hate people like people who hold our politics in general? That would take quite a lot. I honestly don't know what they hold against us.

Update If I was ever to endorse drinking seriously, I would do so in the context of listening to a playlist of one's already-favorited music.

Sometimes I would want to just shut my brain off, and this would be about that time.

Update Like, a lot of my time in elementary school was spent being what 4chins considers a "Kid Pix augur" - do I care what every second of my time amounts to in Clown World? Hell no, like a zoomer

That was back in the early 2000's

Burn, burn, burn, baby burn

At this rate I'm going to unashamedly jerk off to Saya no Uta, and I'll post it

It's true that people who try to "scrap" are dead in the water by now, but really, and honestly, homeschool or bust. I want to go to public school because:

I'm evil

Sometimes I feel like I need a more personal presentation than this

What am I going to do with 4TB

Update I can't believe how much time has passed since I've been born (had to redo a letter for every word there) - it's been such a long time

(Give you a comment on the *government* - fuck the government - the government's corrupt)

Life's too slow, but mainly we should stop having politiciians who are patently ugly and jewish

I certainly don't want to show my whole hand at once, but sometimes the situation begs me to show off, because things in general are genuinely mediocre!

Update I'm caught between not giving any cares what people think about what people think about me and having someone I knew personally judging me constantly from having only just started paying attention to my content like several days ago.

It's not just "one man's garbage is another man's treasure" - I can think this shit is sex, but then I'll probably get judged as being trash

If I was really evil, I would just cold-turkey not tell people I have a beer gut - that way they couldn't even say "fat blob says"

Update What if I told you, on account of the quality of advice I've gotten from people altogether, this is a two-bit country we're dealing with altogether!

Update When going through the OSTs I have on my hard drive (without the 4TB external hard drive) - (Link's Awakening, Marin's House) - why?-----------

Things like the owl's theme for the first time - again, if you don't appreciate, I'll come over and kick yer ass - just kidding but same difference

Makes one wonder, has anyone ever honestly posed such an OST in front of someone to do drugs for the first time and say, what do you think of that as an alternative? It's seriously powerful stuff. I've never done drugs.

I don't know why, but there's a feeling that's gone all but unresolved since, when on a bus on a band camp tour, I showed my 3DS to a peer, and they said they were sure they were high when they saw the effect.

It's kind of ironic in a way that, truly, the will for me to pass the torch on in life has more to do with classic videogames than it does with my actual family lineage

My parents have let me down.

Update I don't know. My feelings are mixed. Like, would it prove I'm evil by posting this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h848dMB0LgU

For some reason, this type of thing speaks to me more than even regular Zelda games. For fans, that should speak volumes

Update Turtle Rock, from that game, is one of those things that makes me wish there were languages to speak in that are universal more so than English

Update Despite the remake, Link's Awakening, the original = underappreciated

Update I'm still just reviewing music to see if anything stands out

Update I don't know why, but I just want to see Siren appreciated like Silent Hill and Resident Evil are.

Update I'm sure by now "gamer" doesn't even enter into the realm of what Siren is thematically.

I don't want to be a narcissist, but there's a realm that even Trump mentioned saying, we don't want to mention it to just everybody; we want to keep that kind of profit to ourselves What - you don't think that kind of thing exists?

Update Okay, so, we got a new authentic Chik-fil-A sauce container in the pantry which can be transferred to the fridge when opened. I want to try it with the pulled pork left over in the fridge, to see if it goes together well.

I don't hate myself, but I really thrust the alcohol upon myself when it comes down to it. Will try downing some actual food in the meantime.

Update I ate all of the pulled pork with a little bit of the Chik-fil-A sauce. What else is left to be eaten with the sauce? Not much.

Update I don't apreciate you if you're a Satanist.

8/18 night AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I played Luigi's Mansion for the first time in my dad's basement compartment in my grandma's basement until like 12AM.

Update And because I can't get into poetry's quality, I can't ad-lib either. But

The entire dichotomy of, all these inventions of landlines and phone services, and most people have nothing to say, and you think that applies to me more so than most other people? I think not, not to be a narcissist, but I have *something*, for goodness' sake

Update I'm going to honestly re-read A Series of Unfortunate Events.

I don't have all the novels, but I'll try.

Update I seriously thought about what that term event means in the first place.

Urban Dictionary: fuck nigga

Honestly, I care less about that kind of thing than I do about being able to be a horror game designer when I feel the mood to do so. I want to be able to pull off a very personal horror vibe when I feel the vibe myself.

Yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah - the author who wrote horror fiction was the same guy to come up with "niggerman" as the name for his cat, and said in addition to that, these black people are the reason the world is more horrific, in the end, than anything he himself could write. Because they're so unpredicatable, I guess.

Ironically, I'm not completely ignorant when it comes to that. I've heard of the trope that African tribes had the highest level of "social" justice between individual people, for what existed among tribes, including white tribes, and so forth. But that still doesn't account for what becomes of them in white societies, hence the "niggerman" naming from the schizophrenic who made "The Pit and the Pendulums" as a novel in the first place. Don't insert your own narrative here. This is priceless.

Update I haven't downed the entire Captain Morgan, but the entire thing is now emptied into my cup.

Update I think I'm tired of drinking. It's almost emptied.

"What Lies in Space" - "phantasmagoria"

but there's much more manly tears to be had with "Get in the Teacup" from Warioland II

Update It's like 2:30 in the morning good God What's good nyugguh?

Update I will see what I can do once i have a 4TB external hard drive at my disposal!

Update Given Cuphead's soundtrack, I'm actually kind of disappointed what kind of reception there it for that sort of thing. I guess there's no such thing as a free lunch! Work hard! Work hard

My mom even thought the composure was cute, but that still doesn't amount to any free lunch! Git gud, git gud

Update even though I don't want to Rainbow Chucklefuck

8/18 I mean, I had nearly the entire Captain Morgan [100-proof], and I clearly got *kind of* drunk, but even that's really just not doing it for me. I'm not joking.

Update After the last posts last night, I probably just lost memory and went to sleep without thinking.

So overall, what are the results?

I think people being in a drunken stupor is a meme. I don't get how that even happens. Even at my worst, I probably just sound like my grandma at the nursing home.

Update The external hard drive arrived just today, even though online it said it would probably get here by next Tuesday.

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