#Automedon

[saying-odd-shit]

the iliad is simply more fun if you subscribe to the belief the kings and such explored each others bodies. escape the matrix and join me

[undercreative]

The Achaeans soccer positions (based on my teams formation, the players on my team & vibes)

Striker: Achilles (kinda obvious (will occasionally play wing mid too))

Attacking mid: Idomeneus (saw him described as a berserker when fighting a few times, gotta be everywhere, get to everything & support the attack)

Wing mid: Menelaus 

Wing mid: Little Ajax

Center mid: Patroclus (was gonna put him attacking but I feel like he’d be back on the defence a bit more too (its a toss up, him and Idomeneus probably switch positions sometimes))

Center mid: Agamemnon (man is always yelling & trying to command everyone (also I hate the person who plays here on my team))

Wing defence: Automedon

Wing defence: Antilocus (fast and small)

Center back (stopper): Diomedes (get’s to everything, nobody is getting past this man)

Center back (sweeper): Odysseus (gotta have a good kick with those goddamn thighs Homer kept talking about, strategic, sees the entire field)

Keeper: Greater Ajax (large man, plays aggressive, will not hesitate to come out of his net to stop someone)

Coach: Nestor (man rambles the entirety of halftime away)

Assistant coach: Phoenix (wise advisor)

Manager/medic (my teams manager is a doctor): Machaon (obvious reasons)

[tostealtimefromthefates]

Patroclus: The food's too hot, I can't eat it.

Achilles:

Patroclus:

Everyone:

Achilles: You're hot but I'd still eat-

Briseis: ONE DINNER.

Automedon: Here we go agai-

Briseis: ONE NORMAL FUCKING DINNER IS ALL I ASK FOR.

[elianzis]

✨ family ✨

[helpmeimblorboing]

The world passes by, and it’s cold. The gravestone is warm. In the depths of Achilles’ fevered mind, he thinks it still smells like Patroclus, the warmth of his skin, the cypress smell of his clothes

He kneels in the frozen dirt, and twigs dig into his skin like the claws of the Furies his mother used to tell him about, screaming, raving spirits of vengeance, risen from the other world to punish him - how dare you let him die !! How dare you let him hurt !!

He thinks he’s been kneeling here for years, but that can’t be right. The Sunday chill is still in the air, and the wind carries the smell of his corpse, limp and dead

The stone is simple, just a slab of rock, words carved into its face - PATROCLUS MENOITIADES 1995-2024

He thinks there should be an “Achilles” scrawled beside it. He thinks he might be dead, too

He remembers how he looked, in those final days, eyes sunken, face shriveled. Skinny as a twig. So unlike the Patroclus he loved that he was half-convinced it was a prank

They said it was pneumonia. Achilles thinks it was Fate herself, playing a cruel joke on him

The weather was calm, almost irritatingly so. Briseis came by to leave out some coffee and donuts for him, lest he ended up starving himself to death, but that was hours ago. And Achilles’ stomach felt like a black hole. He hungered for only one thing, and that was now forever beyond his reach

By now, the cup contained only black-brown sludge, and critters had devoured whatever remained of the donuts. As he watched, one of them nibbled on a crumb

He derived some vicious satisfaction in squishing it, leaving behind a smear of black blood on the rim of the plate. If he had to suffer, so would everyone around him

Maybe, if he sits out here long enough, he’ll catch pneumonia, too. Maybe then he’ll finally be able to follow Patroclus over to the other world. Maybe then he would finally get to be happy

A hoarse voice cleared its throat right behind him. The man was wearing doctor’s scrubs, having just gotten off work. Achilles flinched. It seemed unfazed, “I’m sorry for your loss”

Achilles didn’t respond

Hector continued, “We did everything we could, but it was too late for him. All we could do was-“

“Shut up”, his voice was sharper then he remembered, hoarse and rusty from screaming, like shattered glass, “Shut up before I gouge out your eyes”

“I understand you’re upset”, Hector’s voice was placating. Achilles wanted to kill him, “but it’s not OUR fault”

“I thought I told you something”, his voice was dead, lifeless as his love, right under him, like all the nights they had spent together, “Let me repeat it - shut up”

“Right…”, Hector paused, before clearing his throat, “Briseis wants to know if you’re okay”

Achilles was silent. After a long moment, the tell-tale sounds of a man shuffling away reached him. He didn’t move

After a long moment, he rose to his feet. At the gates of the cemetery, Automedon, clearly worried, perked up slightly at the sight

“Boss”, he called, “The car’s waiting”

“Is…”, Achilles cleared his throat, “Is Mom…”

“She’s at the house”, he swallowed. Hard, “She wants to see you”

“I…”, the breath he drew in was ragged and torn, as he turned back towards the grave, feeling oddly like he was chopping off a limb by leaving this place, “I…”

His mother had never liked Patroclus. But these last few weeks… she had changed. For some reason, the thought of her son losing his heart seemed to get her to finally show the young - so young, too young - man some compassion.

Who knows ? Maybe she had a change of heart.

“Boss ?”, Automedon sounded a bit nervous. He idly scratched the back of his head, “Lady Thetis said she wants you inside by sundown, lest you…”, he swallowed, “…end up like him”

Achilles resisted the urge to bark out a pained laugh. Isn’t that what she always told him would. come of associating with the likes of his beloved ? A bastard, a disgrace, someone disowned by his own family ?

How odd that, now that he was dead, those words were repeated, and with such a different meaning

“Boss ?”

“Yeah”, Achilles turned towards his friend, and was a bit disappointed to not be faced with a funeral hearse, “M’coming”

It seemed improper, for a corpse to be carried around in his mother’s gleaming black Chevrolet Cameron, but he supposed after it had carried his mother around for years, it was used to carting around wounded souls

[ilions-end]

Achilles' grief. Marble relief by Thomas Banks, ca. 1778

Achilles is held by a comrade as Thetis and the other nereids rise from the sea to comfort him after the death of Patroclus.

[ask-modern-patrochilles]

When did you first meet you bf?

Achilles: To make a long story short, we actually met at a party I threw a few years back. Well- it was more like a party that Odysseus talked me into throwing. I only invited Auto, but then he invited Bri, and Bri brought Patroclus along with her too.

Achilles: If it weren't for them, we probably wouldn't have met. Bri still brags about 'bringing us together'!

[babyrdie]

So, I know anyone who sees my posts already knows that I have a headcanon about how Antilochus, like Nestor, talks a lot. I usually talk about Antilochus' family or his best friends (Achilles and Patroclus), but I was thinking about Antilochus' friendships in general and remembered how close he seems to Menelaus in The Iliad. And now I'm imagining Menelaus unintentionally having some sort of spy on the Myrmidon camp. This wasn't even Menelaus' intention, but Antilochus spends a lot of time with the Myrmidons because of Patroclus and Achilles and for some reason continues to tell Menelaus about his daily life, which includes the Myrmidons. And just like that, Menelaus accidentally got a source of information before Odysseus and Odysseus can't believe the absurdity of the situation.

I imagine Agamemnon, every time he has a problem with Achilles, calling Phoenix to inform him how the situation is on the other side because Phoenix is ​​Achilles' advisor and then going to Menelaus to vent about it. But usually everything he says Menelaus already knew because of Antilochus. Something like Agamemnon complaining that Achilles is still grumpy because Agamemnon forgot to invite him to a party and supposedly invented some new insult for him and Phoenix curiously avoided giving details about what kind of insult, and while this Menelaus is like "oh yeah. This time he said you have a presence as maddening as the Erinyes, huh. He even made a song satirizing you" and Agamemnon is always freaking out about how the hell Menelaus always knows the most specific details that Phoenix refuses to tell. Menelaus didn't tell him how, but Agamemnon once commented about his brother somehow knowing too much to Odysseus and ever since then Odysseus has been looking at Antilochus and wondering how he didn't notice what a valuable source of information he had nearby.

Odysseus was also sincerely amazed that he didn't got this kind of information from Nestor before, as he highly doubts that Antilochus wouldn't tell Nestor and Thrasymedes about it and Odysseus didn't know that it was possible that Nestor wouldn't give him some gossip from the Myrmidon camp. Odysseus tried to get as much gossip as possible about all the camps as a way to make plans for specific problems in the army, but it was really hard to get anything about the Myrmidons.

Phoenix clearly over-polished the information and purposely omitted details and information (trying to protect your prince…I see. Even Agamemnon sees this, don't think you're fooling us!);

Achilles always looked at him like he was suspiciously planning something (not really wrong…but hey! Blah blah you don't speak your mind, son of Lartes. Calm down, I just want to have information to avoid things like fights, rebellions, riots, etc! And you're not special, I need to do this to everyone here!);

Patroclus always gave him a condescending smile (dude, it's okay if you noticed what I'm trying to do, no need to be so annoying about it! Oh, he's finally serious now…wait, is that a dimple? Stop smiling!);

Menesthius just widened his eyes and said that his uncle was calling him (Achilles never called him. But okay, dude, I get it, you don't want to get in trouble with your uncle. Family loyalty, right? I won't judge you!);

Automedon clearly spoke more to horses than to people (I even tried to hide to see if Automedon would vent something to the horses, but all the guy did was complain about the noise of the celebrations!);

Ajax glared at him impatiently (okay, big guy, you're not that into gossiping. I get it, I just thought you had information about your cousin's camp! Let's talk about fighting techniques then...);

Teucer blatantly ignored him (the smartass certainly knows something, he's a duo with Ajax and Ajax hangs out with the Myrmidons!!! Sneaky, huh. Typical of an archer, I know that because I'm one too!);

The other Myrmidons just gave him useless information and Odysseus couldn't press or it would be too obvious that he wanted more specific information than "oh, Patroclus and the slave girls made soup yesterday!" (why the fuck Patroclus is cooking for the Myrmidons with the slaves is a mystery. Wasn't he supposed to cook specifically for Achilles and Achilles' guests?);

Odysseus was even thinking about getting something to make the slaves willing to give interesting details, he had somehow forgotten that Antilochus was a thing in this situation. It was quite a surprise when he congratulated Menelaus for outsmarting him and Menelaus didn't know what he was talking about and when Odysseus explained that Menelaus had noticed Antilochus' informative ability first, Menelaus simply said that it was Antilochus himself who started talking every time. Odysseus found the whole situation ridiculous and unexpected, but at least he had no more problems in obtaining some basic information in the following years of war. The gods know he needs a LOT of information to help Agamemnon, the guy is so eager to be a leader that he sometimes forgets the strategic part of things. Don't get him wrong, he likes Agamemnon, but he also doesn't know what Agamemnon would do without him and Nestor!

And yes, this is an EXTREMELY specific headcanon, but I was thinking about Odysseus and Nestor's roles as Agamemnon's mediators and how there are so many different armies. I was like, "how do they know enough to lead all these people?" and voila! Also, I imagine this happening in the early years of the war, when they were less comradely. And yes, Agamemnon vents to his younger brother daily. Menelaus doesn't vent much to Agamemnon, however. Not because he doesn't trust Agamemnon, he just thinks his older brother is too enthusiastic about defending him, and so Menelaus wants to avoid situations where Agamemnon will "protect his honor" without being asked lol

A kind of silly headcanon, I know, but the ability to be silly is a blessing!

[somniphobicfox]

Some TSOA headcanons because I can't sleep!

(it's 1:15 AM -_-)

Achilles, Patroclus, Automedon, Briseis, Odysseus and Diomedes are all one big friend group (Yes, no one dies).

During the wedding, Briseis was Patroclus's groomslady and Automedon was Achilles's best man.

Sometimes they would visit Odysseus in Ithaca, and Penelope would tell them stories by the fireplace while Odysseus beamed at his wife with love in his eyes.

Thetis visits Achilles like usual, and sometimes asks for Patroclus, and tries hard to hide the fact that she'd begun to care for her son's husband too.

Briseis offered to be the surrogate for Achilles and Patroclus, but they denied, because they want to adopt children.

Diomedes hosts drinking parties in his palace and invites them all — Achilles gets hella drunk and Patroclus has to hold him up; Briseis is a crazy dancer while drunk, Automedon refuses to drink and Odysseus drinks a modest amount, having light banter with Diomedes.

Achilles trained their child to aim by teaching the child to throw spears at a picture of Agammemnon (extra points if the child gets his throat).

Odysseus has Penelope's name tattooed over his heart — he would boast about it to anyone who listens.

Patroclus suffers from depression.

Penelope is a mother figure for Achilles, Patroclus, Automedon and Briseis.

Automedon has PTSD from when he saw Hector stab Patroclus (he survived, obviously).

Automedon is asexual.

Patroclus sometimes calls Achilles Pyrrha, just to see the embarassment on his face.

Achilles would take any opportunity to flex his muscles to Patroclus — he just loves seeing his husband blush.

Patroclus continues referring to himself as Chironides. He doesn't tell Chiron, but little does he know that Chiron knows it too, and secretly loves it.

Chiron sends spears to Achilles every year on his birthday.

Patroclus continued working in the field of surgery, teaching basic care to his child as well. Achilles refuses to learn though. "It's boring", "Why do I have to learn it when you are here."

And that's it! Feel free to add more headcanons :)

[lions-and-men-musical]

Vocal Type, God, and Title of L&M Characters:

Achilles: Countertenor, Thetis, “Aristos Achaean”

Patroklos: Baritone, Hephaestus, “Shieldslinger”

Odysseus: Tenor, Athena, “Hijacker”

Diomedes, Tenor/Baritone*, Athena, “Timebomb”

*starts as a tenor, becomes a baritone

Menelaus, Baritone, Poseidon, “Icon”

Agamemnon, Bass, Hera, “Commander”

G. Ajax, Bass/Baritone, Poseidon, “Behemoth”

L. Ajax, Tenor, Hermes, “Heavygunner”

Automedon, Tenor, Hermes, “Getaway Driver”

Helen, Alto, Aphrodite, “Gambler”

Hector, Baritone, Ares, “Brawler”

Paris, Tenor, Aphrodite, “Distraction”

Cassandra, Mezzo, Apollo, “Lunatic”

Hellenus, Tenor, Apollo, “Hysteric”

Troilus, Tenor, Artemis, “Rookie”

Cressida, Soprano, Apollo, “Decoy”

Aeneas, Baritone, Aphrodite, “Loyal”

Sarpedon, Baritone, Artemis, “Sniper”

Glaucus, Bass, Ares, “Bruiser”

[marsdeathdefiances]

Patroclus: fuck, marry, kill- me, Automedon, and Antilochus.

Achilles: Marry you, fuck Antilochus, and kill Agamemnon.

Agamemnon: What the fuck? I wasn’t even one of the options?

Automedon: I, for one, am very flattered about the fact that you don’t want to kill me. Thank you, Achilles.

[jules-ln]

About mythological ships:

What is your OTP? (favorite romantic/sexual relationship)

What is your BROTP? (favorite platonic relationship)

What is your NOTP? (the opposite of OTP)

You can say more than one in each category if you want

Sure, but it's going to be loooong and there might be some hot takes ahead

OTP

🔹️Patrochilles:I don't need to say what's obvious; but these two own my house, my dog, my soul

Like it's not so much that I think they're perfect for each other, is that I think even when they aren't perfect for each other they still love the other a lot

Besides, I think these two are very interesting Characters on their own right, so a relationship between the two is also very interesting to think about

🔹️Menelaus/Patroclus: I'm sorry, but I know myself and let me tell you, when I have a favorite ship, it always has the character that I don't ship with anyone but the other character, and the character I ship with everyone. So I don't ship Achilles with anyone but Patroclus, and I ship Patroclus with everyone.

So, Idk, I just thought that they must be very close for Menelaus to risk his life to get Patroclus' corpse back. And maybe one day Menelaus will be fed up with Helen and Patroclus will be angry with Achilles and maybe they help each to have a good time 👀

🔹️Briseis/Patroclus: I actually like this as an unrequited love scenario, I imagine Briseis loving Patroclus because he's the only man that has been kind to her in a while, and she doesn't know if it's really love, or if it's her emotions hanging to the one of the few sources of comfort she can find. Like she isn't sure if she would love him if they had meet during times of peace instead of war

Meanwhile, Patroclus just doesn't love her in that way, but he does loves her like a sister, and doesn't want to hurt her feelings either

🔹️Paris/Patroclus: listen, listen, LISTEN, I already said that I ship Patroclus with everyone, and in this case I just thought "Oh, I like Paris, I wished he had someone who didn't treat him like shit and appreciated him" and my brain immediately went "You know who would be amazing at that? That's right, Patroclus because if he can put up with Achilles' shit, he can put up with Paris' shit"

So basically I just want Patroclus to hug Paris against his tits and call him a good boy

🔹️Odysseus/Diomedes: For this I'll explain that I have the headcanon that both Odysseus and Penelope are AroAce and in a QPR

Meanwhile Diomedes is a baby gay who doesn't even know he's gay

So I have the headcanon that Diomedes has a very big crush on Odysseus, and Odysseus of course is like "Oh, this can be useful" and is basically just using Diomedes

🔹️Diomedes/Sthenelus: Like Briseis and Patroclus, I like them more as an unrequited love situation

I imagine Sthenelus being in love with Diomedes since they've met, but Diomedes just doesn't feel the same, he loves his friend, but not like Sthenelus would like him to

🔹️Agamemnon/Clytemenestra:

They are the same, to all the people that says that Agamemnon deserved it, so did Clytemenestra when Orestes killed her

Like, Clytemenestra was angry because it was HER daughter, but later she doesn't has any problem in killing someone else's daughter (Cassandra) So I know for a fact that had Agamemnon and Clytemenestra change places at Aulis, she would've done the same to Iphigenia

So this is a case of unlovable hand in unlovable hand lol

🔹️Peleus/Menoetius: I have nothing to say about this one except that for me is what if Patrochilles but old man yaoi

🔹️Helen/Andromache: this but in a toxic Yuri kind of way where Andromache feels guilty for cheating on Hector but not enough to actually stop and Helen is in for the fun

BROTP

🔹️Odysseus&Penelope: controversial opinion, but like I said, I think they both are AroAce that one day found each other and immediately there was a mutual understanding. So basically they're in a QPR

They want to be together because for them there's just nobody else in the world who can understand them like the other, and sometimes friendship is more powerful and long-lasting than romantic love

🔹️Achilles&BigAjax: I just like them being cousins

I have this headcanon that sometimes during battle Achilles would get up on Ajax' shoulders and then use him as a platform to jump and attack the Trojans lmao

🔹️Automedon&Patroclus: If Patroclus had to be Achilles's nanny, I think Automedon was Patroclus's nanny lmao

Like in my headcanon Automedon is a couple of years older than Patroclus, so Patroclus always goes to him when he wants advice or to complain about Achilles. And Automedon is more than happy to help him and be his older brother

🔹️Menelaus&Agamemnon: I think Agamemnon unironically cares a lot for his brother, and would try to protect him and do everything he can for him

🔹️Hector&Paris: I imagine these two have the relationship of "I hate you, but you ARE my brother"

🔹️Achilles&Odysseus: I love the idea of these two being friends.

I imagine at first Odysseus was like "I'm going to get close to Achilles so I can use him later" but then the dad instincts won, and he started to see him not as the best of the Greeks, but as a young man. And he starts thinking about that maybe Telemachus would be like him one day when he grows up

So he gets too attached and gives him good advice in different things, and of course Achilles doesn't listen to him at all, but he does appreciate the effort and they end up being close friends

🔹️Briseis&Iphis&Diomede: I just love the idea of Achilles' enslaved women being friends and supporting each other, they didn't have much, but they did have each other 🥺

NOTPs:

🔹️Achilles/Briseis: No, never, nope

Like, maybe if every freaking retelling of the iliad wouldn't try to force them to be together with the less chemistry imaginable and making Achilles forget that Patroclus even exist which in turns makes the whole story of the Iliad have no sense, I would like them more, but no

🔹️Achilles/Agamemnon: Short answer? No. Long answer? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

🔹️Poseidon/Patroclus: I'm sorry guys, I don't mess with this. Is just that personally I think the gods just see the humans as toys for their entertainment. So I imagine that if there was any relationship between these two, Poseidon would pretty much treat Patroclus as his personal sex toy, And I like my boy Patroclus too much for him to being used like that

🔹️Apollo/Cassandra: similar to Achilles/Briseis and Poseidon/Patroclus, with the added bonus that I think Apolla was a bitch with Cassandra. Like you can argue that Achilles deserved Apollo’s hate, but not Cassandra

[acourtofladydeath]

Look is no one else gonna make a big deal about the fact that in the middle of battle Achilles’ horses stopped in their tracks and started crying over the death of Patroclus? And refused to move despite Automedon begging them and whipping them to try to get them off the field until they were literally compelled to move by Zeus himself?? Because I can’t stop thinking about it.

[tostealtimefromthefates]

Achilles, yelling across the battlefield: Have you seen Patroclus?

Automedon, shouting back: He's right next to me! I'm okay too. Thanks for asking.

[adriles]

Automedon is allowing me to steer my chariot today cause he’s trying to ensure i get my fill of battle experience before i am violently slain. but he Hates how i drive more than anythign and keeps tryinf to grab the reins from my hands. Good luck Bitch i refuse to givr it up now.

[tododeku-or-bust]

Automedon had that clapback locked and loaded just for Achilles