#Auto industry wheel

[britsyankswheels24]

🇺🇸 As we approach Chrysler's 100th anniversary, Frank B. Rhodes Jr., great-grandson of company founder Walter P. Chrysler, is raising concerns about the brand’s future and wants to take action to rescue it. In a recent open letter to “investors and workers,” Rhodes announced his plan to revitalize Chrysler and its related brands—Dodge, Ram, and Jeep—under new “American” ownership.

🚗 Stellantis, the current parent company of Chrysler, has come under criticism from Rhodes for its management of the brand, which he claims has been severely neglected. The Chrysler brand currently offers only one vehicle, the Pacifica minivan, while several promising concept cars, such as the Chrysler Airflow, were shelved before reaching production. Rhodes highlighted Stellantis’ focus on European brands like Citroën and Peugeot, arguing that Chrysler has been left behind.

💼 Rhodes, who has been a Chrysler ambassador for over 40 years, points to his family’s legacy and his own ownership of the final Chrysler 300C as reasons for his dedication to the brand. He submitted a 17-page proposal to Stellantis executives, inviting them to a confidential discussion on reviving Chrysler. His plan includes giving equity stakes to employees, echoing the worker-centered vision of his great-grandfather, who founded the company on principles of American ingenuity and innovation.

📉 Rhodes also expresses concern about the future of Dodge, which has focused heavily on electric vehicles (EVs) despite its core customer base being more interested in American muscle and performance cars. He argues that Stellantis’ push toward an all-electric lineup by 2028 for Chrysler is out of step with market trends, where hybrids are gaining popularity. The all-electric path, Rhodes warns, could be disastrous for the brand’s future.

🔧 Despite these challenges, Rhodes remains optimistic about the potential to rebuild Chrysler as a symbol of blue-collar luxury and innovation. He is calling for a return to American-designed and built products, and greater autonomy for Chrysler and Dodge within Stellantis. Rhodes’ ultimate goal is to rescue the brand from what he sees as poor management and ensure that Chrysler survives to celebrate its next century.

🚨 As Chrysler fans prepare for the 100th anniversary celebrations next summer, including a large event in Pennsylvania, Rhodes is urging action to prevent the brand from fading into obscurity. Without intervention, he warns, Chrysler’s future looks bleak.

[metalmanauto]

Metalman Auto: Your Source for Precision Tubular Fabrication Services

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[dear-ao3]

love going home just so i can go run errands with my dad. today he had to go to staples cause they printed his order wrong and i went with him.

my mom gave him a whole laundry list of things to tell the staples people and he said “yes yes i got it” then immediately got in the car and said to me “this is a job for 5 seconds of summer” and turned on the meet you there live album (man has taste) and drummed on the steering wheel and sang along the whole way to staples

in the staples parking lot he saw a lifted pickup truck and went on a rant about how “they ruined the geometry of a perfectly good car by making it look stupid” (he’s worked his whole life in the auto industry)

then we went inside and he politely explained to the staples employee how the order was printed wrong and even went as far as to hijack their ruler to measure the thing he wanted to give them the right dimensions (and they still somehow screwed it up) and had them reprint 3 samples so that he was sure it was Right

then we hopped back in the car and he kept on jamming to 5sos (this time in victory) and did an epic jersey slide across the entire 5 lanes of traffic, but said to me “don’t worry, i didn’t do that while mom was in the car”

epitome of the “because it’s iconic and i love to do iconic shit” audio. 10/10 experience. no notes.

[seat-safety-switch]

Like any honest, well-adjusted human being, I've often had reason in my life to daydream about owning my own 1,600-ton sheet metal press. I don't want to have to go to the junkyard for a fourth time this weekend just because I forgot the passenger door is also rusted out.

Why should the automakers have all the fun? Sure, they have millions upon millions of dollars, whereas I have about fifteen bucks in my wallet. They have enormous facilities capable of serving the mechanical and electrical demands of such an intense machine, and I have a motorcycle gas tank on my kitchen table because there's simply nowhere else to put it. Automakers can source kilometers-long rolls of precision-engineered high-strength steel, and I think I might be able to weld some stolen road signs together with enough advance notice. This, it turns out, is all details compared to the big problem with setting up my own autobody foundry in my backyard: the noise.

Yes, friends. Like in many well-meaning jurisdictions all across this once-great land, the bigwigs at City so-called Hall have decided to stick their noses where they don't belong. Regulating that residential neighbourhoods are not allowed to operate massive industrial machinery in the backyards is against what the founding motherfathers intended when they stole this country from the people who were already living there. Back then, people made wagon wheels in their backyard. They didn't have the luxury of going on RockAuto and ordering them from a distant trading partner, somewhere that they still built things.

What am I saying? We need to shake up government in this country. I envision a world in which the government pays you to punch out new tailgates for a 1993 F-150, immaculate bumperettes for a Valiant, and rust-free patch panels for Escorts. They will tell you it can't be done, which is even more proof that we need to go do it ourselves. If you manage to find someone willing to back this political project, send them by my house. I'll be there all weekend trying to figure out where the Princess Auto warranty on $10 hydraulic bearing presses and $3 ball-peen hammers becomes invalid.

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

1949 Delahaye 175 S Saoutchik Roadster

Saoutchik was a cabinet maker when he moved to Paris from his home in Ukraine around 1900, but he didn’t take long to establish himself in the fledgling automotive coachbuilding industry and he showed a consistent flair over the next 50 years which puts him among the very elite of automotive designers.

His designs borrowed little from other designers, and along with names such as Figoni et Falaschi, Chapron, Franay and de Letourner et Marchand, Saoutchik was one of the foremost designers of exquisite Art Deco coachwork during the 20s and 30s.

Saoutchik was commissioned to produce the spectacular work-of-art by flamboyant English collector, Sir John Gaul. The design was based on the first post-war Delahaye chassis from a 175 S Roadster (chassis number 815023) producing 165 bhp from an engine much larger than the pre-war Delahayes ran – a 4,455 cc naturally aspirated overhead valve inline six cylinder engine with four-speed electro-mechanically actuated Cotal Preselector gearbox, Dubonnet coil spring front suspension, De Dion rear axle with semi-elliptic springs, and four-wheel hydraulic finned alloy drum brakes. The wheelbase was a whopping 116 inches.

The car was unveiled at the 1949 Paris Auto Show, and was exhibited at all the major European concours events that year, from Paris to Monte Carlo to San Remo, scooping the pool wherever it was exhibited. It won best-in-class in the Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance in 2006 just a few months after a complete restoration. Just a few months later, the car was honored again, winning People’s Choice at theprestigious Amelia Island Concours d’ Elegance.

Having fulfilled its exhibition duties, it then passed through a succession of other flamboyant owners, including actress Diana Dors.

The final word on this stunning automobile goes to Ian Kelleher, President and Chief Operating Officer, RM Auctions

“Following the financial depression of World War II, there were few collectors with the means, flamboyance and flair to commission a car as exotic as this Saoutchik Roadster. Arguably the most desirable post-war, coachbuilt automobile of all time, it is truly a masterpiece of the coachbuilder’s art. Eye-catching and exotic, it is wonderful to drive and combines superlative styling on a chassis of competition quality.”

Courtesy of RM Auctions

[sims4cars-breezemotors]

“Let freedom roam”

2023 Jeep Wrangler 🇺🇸

The Jeep Wrangler is an old friend, and a fun one too. With battleground roots as a Willys in World War II, the four-wheel drive Wrangler is as comfortable slogging through mud as it is delivering mail or shuttling sorority sisters around town. It is a refreshing alternate ego playing against the auto industry's penchant for giant screens and hermetically-sealed cabins.

Available since February 2’nd for “No Limits” and “All Inclusive” tiers exclusively.

Model with HQ interior and functional light.

Go and join my Patreon!

[liberatingreality]

The principles underlying propaganda are extremely simple. Find some common desire, some widespread unconscious fear or anxiety; think out some way to relate this wish or fear to the product you have to sell; then build a bridge of verbal or pictorial symbols over which your customer can pass from fact to compensatory dream, and from the dream to the illusion that your product, when purchased, will make the dream come true. They are selling hope.

We no longer buy oranges, we buy vitality. We do not just buy an auto, we buy prestige. And so with all the rest. In toothpaste, for example, we buy not a mere cleanser and antiseptic, but release from the fear of being sexually repulsive. In vodka and whisky we are not buying a protoplasmic poison which in small doses, may depress the nervous system in a psychologically valuable way; we are buying friendliness and good fellowship, the warmth of Dingley Dell and the brilliance of the Mermaid Tavern. With our laxatives we buy the health of a Greek god. With the monthly best seller we acquire culture, the envy of our less literate neighbors and the respect of the sophisticated. In every case the motivation analyst has found some deep-seated wish or fear, whose energy can be used to move the customer to part with cash and so, indirectly, to turn the wheels of industry.

— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World Revisited

[exololyunho]

FFF day 8: degradation

Jongho/reader

word count: 1.5k

masterlist fff masterlist

warnings: road head, degradation (duh), car sex (not how you'd think), public sex, jongho is a good boy, demeaning names (slut, brat, whore, bitch), handjob, blowjob, masturbation

this was written by the same mutual of mine who wrote day 4! I was so busy with school they stepped up again to help me out. my jaw was on the floor when I read this god damn

“Please y/n, not here.”

A loud pop resonated in the car as you pulled your lips off Jongho’s dick.

“I told you to fucking drive and you can’t even do that much?”

Jongho was driving the new Tesla he got last week as part of his promotion at work. He was highly intelligent and one of the leading software engineers at his company. Although he enjoyed his job, he was constantly working and stressing about his team’s incompetence. Fortunately for you though, that resulted in his strong desire to be submissive and let go of control.

Jongho whimpered when you released your lips. Although you refrained from sucking, you couldn’t help but continue to stroke your saliva along his length.

“It’s on fucking autopilot. What are you so worried about?” 

“I just, I can’t have everyone on the road seeing my dick.”

“Oh,” rolling your eyes. “Now you’re worried? Mid-suck?”

Normally you’re not this mean to Jongho, but he specifically requested you to be the nastiest you could be given how stressful work had been lately.

You looked up at his face from your position. He kept his eyes on the road, afraid to look down and draw more attention to you. 

“Fine, I’ll just stop.” You released your hand, fully committed to not bringing him to orgasm. You weren’t going to waste your efforts on someone who wasn’t begging for you. And besides, it felt so good to torture him. 

“No!” Jongho blurted out. In the corner of his eyes, he caught your eyebrows raise in shock. “I mean,” Jongho corrected his tone to a calmer one. “Please don’t stop,” he begged.

“I can’t tell what you want, you useless slut. Do you want to cum or not?”

“Ye- ye- yes,” he whimpered. He mulled over his next decision. “I want whatever you give me.” 

“Good, and you’ll stop being a brat who begs and backs out.” Just before your lips touched the head of his cock, you came up with a better idea. “Pull over,” you commanded.

“What?! We’re in the middle of the highway.”

“You heard me whore. Pull. Over.”

It didn’t take much convincing. He had just agreed to whatever you wanted. And he was secretly thrilled to be dominated by you. 

Jongho took the car out of auto-pilot and pulled over onto the side of the highway, flicking the hazard lights on.

“What do you want m-“ 

“Lower the seat back.”

He paused to check that you were serious before he pushed the seat away from the steering wheel. He felt scared and turned on all at once. 

The wind from the cars passing you vibrated your car. Some people glanced as they passed to see if you needed help, assuming you had pulled over because of car trouble. “Perfect,” you thought. You couldn’t help the smirk on your face when you realized just how many people would have a show. You were about to fuck, no… DOMINATE one of the most influential men in the tech industry right in front of the public. Your heart was beating so fast from the exhilaration of being a sadistic fuck to your man. 

Jongho was quite nervous about what you had planned though, assuming you wanted to fuck right then and there. At least if you were fucking, his dick would be hidden from the public and maybe you’d finally let him cum. But you had much better plans.

“You are not to touch yourself at all. You’re gonna watch me. You’re not allowed to look at the road or mirrors. Only. Me.”

“But…” Jongho begged.

“Ah!” You stopped him. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Good.”

Remaining in your seat, you pushed down your thong onto the floorboard and kicked it off your feet. Your knees touched the edges of the car as you spread your legs. You slowly plunged your fingers into your sopping wet pussy. The sound was absolutely exquisite and turned you on even more. 

“Ugh, I’m so wet,” you whispered to yourself, quite enamored with your own juices. Slowly, it seemed like you had forgotten he was there and were simply there to pleasure yourself. Like you didn’t need him.

Jongho stared silently, mouth opened and hanging on the floor. He had no words for what he was witnessing. The two of you had only dabbled in public adventures before and this was an extreme for him. What had gotten into you?

You fingered yourself for a minute before raising yourself up onto your knees and twisting around to grasp the headrest. 

You raised one leg over and placed your knee in between his. His thighs were so juicy, but now was not the time to praise him. 

He looked down at your leg resting in between his. His dick was so hard right now and it hurt so badly. The blood was about to burst out. He’d beg for some relief if he weren’t stuck in shock. 

“Look at me, you whore,” you yanked his chin towards you. “I’m the star of this fucking show, not you.” You pinched his cheeks together tightly, hoping it would cause him slight pain. To your surprise, his cheeks were quite squishable.

“Now,” bringing your focus back to yourself. You had never done this before and to be honest, you were a little nervous.

You lowered your hips slowly to graze the top of the gear shift and wet it with your pussy. Pressing further down, your clit made contact with the hardness and you let out a groan. Even though you were depriving Jongho of touch, you were even more deprived. Finally something had touched your clit and you couldn’t stop staring at your lips making out with the black leather that covered the bulbous stick. 

You pushed further down and sank onto the gearshift. You let out a gasp. The feeling was shocking. You had never felt something so round in your pussy before and it was slightly bigger than Jongho. 

You pumped up and down just a little to help adjust to the stretch. You looked over to find Jongho’s eyes locked on yours. He was gripping the sides of his seat incredibly hard to keep from touching his dick glistening with precum. 

All that could be heard was the buzz of cars racing past you and the squelch of your lips moving up and down the gearshift. Your pussy was out for the whole world to see and this is what power felt like.

Unable to hold back any longer, you pounded into the gearshift harder than before, determined to cum. But it wasn’t going to take much. You swore you could cum just from a slight flick to your clit.

“Jongho,” you commanded with a breathlessness. You grasped the two headrests and stared out the back window. 

“Yes,” Jongho hesitated in fear that he might do something wrong again.

“I want you to keep looking at me but you can touch your dick now.”

“But I want you-“ 

“Jongho! Should I take away that privilege?” Jongho rapidly shook his head. It was better to follow your orders than to not get anything at all. He spit on his hand and touched his dick. 

Jongho let out a sigh and let his head hang back. 

“You have been such a bitch today Jongho.”  He let out another groan from your degrading words. Nothing was hotter to him than when you insulted him incessantly. “You should be fucking grateful I let you touch your dick at all.” 

“Y/n,” he moaned. “I’m gonna cum.”

“It’s only been 30 seconds. Are you that pathetic that you can’t even hold out for a whole minute?!” You were actually quite shocked that he was about to cum so quickly… and flattered.

You slowed down your pace to admire his fucked out face.

“Yes, I’m so pathetic for you,” he moaned out.

“For who? Say it again.” You gripped his cheeks once again. 

“For you y/n,” locking eyes with you. “I’m so pathetic for you and only you.”

“That’s right you cunt. Me. And only me.” Truly nothing in this world felt better than having your man beg for you in the most pitiful way possible. You released his face. “You can cum once I cum.” 

“Okay,” he groaned, barely keeping it together. “Please hurry.”

Jongho’s pathetic begging sent you over the edge. The wave of pleasure hit you and tingles filled your body as you shook around the stick shoved into your pussy. 

“Y/n- ach.” 

Although still not over your high, you took his dick with your right hand and leaned into his ear.

“Come on, baby. For me,” you whispered delicately. 

At last he released himself. Cum covered his pants and even squirted so far as the steering wheel. 

“That’s it baby,” you milked him slowly. “Give me every last drop.” 

Jongho’s orgasm finally subsided and his head hit the headrest. He looked so hot covered in sweat and completely fucked out. He was definitely too inebriated to drive but luckily you could just use the autopilot. 

Before you could turn the car back on, you saw red and blue lights swirl in the distance accompanied by a siren. 

“Oh shit.”

[ausetkmt]

“Teslas are the safest cars on the road, but most people don’t know that,” Tesla CEO Elon Musk wrote on X (formerly Twitter) last year. The superlative is typical of the billionaire, and the automaker itself, which boasts that its vehicles “are engineered to be the safest in the world.”

But while Tesla’s cars routinely receive top safety ratings, including from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, accident statistics show that the brand has the highest rate of accidents in which at least one car occupant is killed, according to a new report from the auto research firm iSeeCars.

More from Rolling Stone

Analyzing fatal collisions from 2017 to 2022 involving 2018 to 2022 car models, the group identified the Tesla Model S and Tesla Model Y as two of the most dangerous cars on the road by occupant fatality rate. Though models from Hyundai, Chevrolet, Mitsubishi, Porsche, and Honda occupied the top five spots on the list, the Tesla Model Y, a mid-size SUV, came in sixth, with a fatal accident rate 3.7 times higher than the average car, and 4.8 times higher than the average SUV. The Model S rate is double that of the average car.

Tesla did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the report.

The auto company had 5.6 fatal accidents per billion miles traveled by its vehicles, narrowly edging out Kia, with 5.5 per billion miles, as the brand with the overall highest rate of deadly accidents. This, the iSeeCars study notes, is “despite Tesla’s advanced driver-assist technology,” with features including so-called Autopilot and Full-Self Driving (FSD), which are meant to reduce human error. The former is a basic system including cruise control and automated lane-changing on freeways, while FSD allows a Tesla to “drive itself almost anywhere with minimal driver intervention,” per the company’s language. Both require the continued supervision of an attentive driver who can override the software.

Karl Brauer, an executive analyst with iSeeCars, said in the report that new cars overall are safer than they’ve ever been, and that most of the vehicle models on their lists “received excellent safety ratings, performing well in crash tests.” Therefore, he added, their elevated accident rates likely “reflect a combination of driver behavior and driving conditions.”

The study did not factor in the use of advanced systems such as Tesla Autopilot and FSD, but their shortcomings are well-documented, and Tesla accidents in which one of these features was engaged have triggered a wave of lawsuits, as well as regulatory scrutiny. Both NHTSA and the Department of Justice are investigating whether Tesla misled customers to believe that Autopilot and FSD is more dependable than it truly is. Critics say that drivers who assume their Tesla can operate safely and with total autonomy tend to become complacent or distracted — and then fail to take manual control when necessary.

This hasn’t stopped Musk from repeatedly promising, as he has for over a decade, that Tesla is close to a version of FSD which can safely operate without any human oversight. In October, he doubled down on this promise, unveiling a design for an autonomous two-seater “Robotaxi” (or “Cybercab”) without a steering wheel. He offered few specifics about how Tesla would be able to compete with companies that already have active fleets of autonomous taxis, like Google subsidiary Waymo, though he predicted the Tesla model would be in production before 2027, while acknowledging that he tends “to be a little optimistic with time frames.”

But for the moment, Tesla drivers are getting into fatal accidents with higher frequency than other drivers. Brauer commented that across the board in the automotive industry, improved safety features “are being countered by distracted driving and higher rates of speed, leading to rising accident and death rates in recent years.” No matter how well-made, a car can’t compensate for an irresponsible person in the driver’s seat.

[diabolus1exmachina]

Nissan GT-R 50 by Italdesing (1 of 19). 

The R35 Nissan GT-R reshaped the supercar world when it arrived on the scene back in 2009. Twin-turbocharged, all-wheel drive and packing a quick-shifting dual-clutch, the GT-R would become a blueprint that almost every supercar manufacturer would copy moving into the current decade. The GT-R50 first arrived as a concept vehicle back in 2018, marking the dual 50th anniversaries of the GT-R nameplate, as well as the design house Italdesign before 2019. The concept merged the R35’s technical ability with some design influences from the days gone by of the auto industry, borrowing heavily from Italy in the process. The concept was met with such excitement that Nissan actually committed to building a limited run of the cars, with production volume officially capped at 50 units. This particular example is number 11 in the run, though the listing sellers at  claim that only 19 examples were ever produced. Considering it took the automaker so long to close the order books, it is possible that demand never reached that 50-unit goal. Starting under the hood, the GT-R50 packs a modified variant of the familiar 3.8-liter VR38DETT V-6. Upgraded turbos are pulled right off the GT3 racer and combined with higher-flow injectors, larger intercoolers, and a reworked intake to provide more power. An updated crankshaft, pistons, and connecting rods bolster high-horsepower engine health. The end result is 710 hp and 585 lb-ft of torque, significantly more than the range-topping NISMO’s 600 hp and 481 lb-ft rating. Power is sent to the wheels via a reworked six-speed dual-clutch transmission, while adaptive Bilstein dampers handle the suspension duties.

[armedjoy]

as someone in the auto industry, i dont "like" any manufacturer, it really boils down to "whats the least shitty." and without a doubt, german cars have the most undeserved reputation. whenever someone says "german engineering" unironically, thats someone who has both absolutely fallen for the PR founded on european prestige & R&D to solve problems that didnt exist, and has never turned a wrench on one. VW is absolutely an inferior product, but somehow they command premium prices. a rav4 or crv is in the same price ballpark as a tiguan, and a camry or accord is similarly equivalent to a jetta - ask yourself when was the last time you saw the VW entry puttering around at a similar age & mileage. I see toyotas and hondas regularly exceeding a decade and 150k, funny how the german equivalent is a rarity, particularly in the winter rust zone.

if you know someone whos selling a passat and you need wheels, it would behoove you to rideshare while you wait for a corolla or civic to come along.

[britsyankswheels24]

🇺🇲 On September 4, 1957, Ford Motor Company introduced the Edsel, a new division aimed at revolutionizing the market. Unlike Ford, Lincoln, or Mercury, the Edsel had its own identity with four models: the smaller Pacers and Rangers, and the larger Citations and Corsairs.

🚘 The Edsel became notorious for its failure. Launched during a booming economy, it was designed as a large, flashy car. But by the time it hit showrooms, the economy had shifted, and consumers wanted smaller, more efficient cars.

🤔 The Edsel’s unique design, including push-button gear shifting on the steering wheel, wasn’t well-received. Issues like a hood ornament that could fly off didn’t help its reputation. In its first year, Edsel sold just 64,000 cars, losing $250 million ($2.5 billion today).

💔 The Edsel brand was discontinued after the 1960 model year, marking one of the biggest flops in automotive history.

[awesome-casuallyfamouscollector]

Dodge, Jeep & Ram Just Overpriced Junk: There is also no chance that anyone would want to buy these ugly American internal combustion engine "luxury SUV" boxes...in Europe...No, no and now...

Source: Screenshot from original video published by Thomas Sieber on October 24, 2024.

P.S. It's really hard for me to imagine the world of illusions the American car business elite live in if they imagine that someone wants to buy these overpriced "luxury" ICE boxes on wheels... American business has completely lost touch with the real world. America's problem is definitely not electric cars, because your auto industry elites don't understand what's going on in the global auto market at all...

[odinsblog]

Modern cars do more than get you from Point A to Point B. With sophisticated, internet-enabled onboard computers, they provide vehicle manufacturers with a truckload (pun intended) of data on where you’re driving, what you’re buying, demographic data and more. So what are they doing with all this information? That’s what the newly created California Privacy Protection Agency would like to know, and so it has launched a review of the auto industry’s data privacy practices.

“Modern vehicles are effectively connected computers on wheels. They’re able to collect a wealth of information via built-in apps, sensors, and cameras, which can monitor people both inside and near the vehicle,” said CPPA Executive Director Ashkan Soltani in a statement.

With more than 35 million vehicles on the road in the Golden State, that is a lot of data for these car-makers to scoop up. [And sell!]

The announcement was hailed by advocacy group Consumer Watchdog’s Justin Kloczko, who said in a statement, “These companies know more about us than we know about ourselves, and they’re the ones in control of our personal information, not us.”

(continue reading)

[seat-safety-switch]

Everything around us is made of a series of little miracles. Look at an airplane: that shit is objectively crazy on the face of it. We're just used to the whole thing. You would show the airplane to a caveman and he would drop stone dead on the spot, his brain leaking out of his ears onto the Paleolithic tundra, preferring to die rather than to believe such a thing is possible. And that's before you start pulling the airplane apart.

We are lucky, all of us, to be in this era where not only are crazy stunts of engineering and manufacturing prowess possible, but that they are common. You can walk your ass down to the Auto Value and pick yourself up a wheel bearing, which itself is made out of many near-identical and precisely-constructed and ball bearings to a degree that would have been impossible a hundred years ago, for five fucking dollars. That's the cheap shit one, too, so don't put that in your car. It won't last more than 200,000 km, not like the seven-dollar one will.

Charles Babbage, the guy who invented the mechanical computer? You know what he spent most of his time doing? Hiring folks to make screws that were all the same kind. Yeah. The idea of being able to just buy a screw and put it in a consistent hole was not a thing in his era. Hell, he even got into a fight with the Queen about how wide to make railroad tracks ("all the same," he said. "a bunch of crazy fucking different sizes," said England.) Nope, it's the computer made with all of those screws that our history books are all psyched about. It goes clickity-clack and tells us that four times four is sixteen!

A biologist would tell us that we're just trying to emulate the greatest miracle of all, the existence of organic life, blah blah who cares? I got that for free from my parents. What I didn't get was a radio modem the size of a fingernail that lets me send poop emojis to Egypt at the speed of thought. Apologies to all of my distant ancestors who had to work out how to evolve, like, toes and stuff. That was probably really hard, but now I'm reaping the benefits. For instance, without toes, I wouldn't appreciate the machine I just now saw on YouTube that weaves brand-new socks out of planet-killing industrial microplastic waste. Pretty rad! I bet it's got some very precise screws in it.