#Australian heathen

[furmity]

Antipodean Europaganism: part 1

In the southern hemisphere, deosil is anti- clockwise. The Left Hand Path is the Right. The moon grows to fullness like 🌘🌕🌒, and his face appears upside- down to a northern perspective.

The seasons are opposite, but it's not necessarily so simple as turning the sabbat dates around. The seasons mean different things, this continent has its own cycles. What do European reconstructed traditions mean here?

Like myself, my practices aren't really their origin anymore: they're Australian. Reconstruction of a historical paganism only goes so far when Australia is nothing like northwestern Europe. I've not yet firmly settled on an annual calendar, the mystery continues to be revealed.

I live in a "Mediterranean" climate, it feels very cold to me today at 12°C. It will not snow here but it rains and rains: everything is green. Frogs are singing in the creeks which dry away in early summer. Some native plants are blossoming. My garden's orange tree is laden and ripe. Mushrooms are everywhere. The serpents are in their holes, yes, but the land cannot be said to be "sleeping" through the winter.

Really it's a time of plenty... or, it's one spoke of a fertile wheel that never really has a fallow time. Something flowers all year, something fruits, something breeds. All the native trees are ever-green. I live in an agricultural part of the country, and something is always coming into season.

Summer is the harsh time. The Australian sun is utterly, utterly fierce. All this green grass will dry and die, the Bush will burn explosively with all the eucalyptus oil. While winter meant the threat of starvation to my ancestors, here in summer we may run out of water, we may lose everything in the fire... And yet! the ash fertilises the soil, certain native plants need the flames to seed....

So, how to celebrate this turning wheel? Back-to- front and inside- out? The sun will be reborn in a few days time, I will keep a vigil to guard the house from the howling terrors of midwinter... but are they really more frightening than the ravages of midsummer? The phrase "kind as summer" doesn't mean anything to me.

It can seem so silly to see snowflake ornaments up in our summer Christmas, but I take it in the same spirit as burning candles and Yule logs on the longest night: we call back the cold to see us out of the heat. But what is the mythic seasonal drama that plays out around me?

To what degree are my gods omnipresent in the world? Known by many names by many cultures into Proto Indo- European prehistory: the sky, the thunder, the sea, the fertile land and rich harvest- they are here, but the gods of dark, snowy winters are not. I don't have a god for the bake of an Australian summer, the burning bushland... only the sun herself. She rises, she falls, I miss her full glory now but cower away from it when she returns to full strength.

It all hinges on what I think the gods really are, what celebrating the seasons is supposed to really mean. It depends how brave I am in creating a practice entirely my own and specific to this place.

ALL of this is getting the easy musings out of the way. Much of it is cut from a draft I struggle and struggle with because it's the hardest question of all: Tarndanya is the Country of the Red Kangaroo, but what can I respectfully do with that information?

What does any of this mean on stolen, colonised land? What do the real owners think of me seeing Green Twins, skogsrå and trolls in their country? What does the genius loci make of the likes of me, crying out for songs and ceremonies it will never see again? What can I do at all except say at the opening of every ritual:

I stand on Kaurna land, acknowledging their continued relationship with the lands and waters. I honour the Elders past, present, and emerging. I remember the unceded sovereignty of this Country, and I say sorry.

The land IS the Dreaming, and such knowledge as remains is not for me at all.

[achoirofcritters]

Evie is gone and these two are still here. They are doing okay.

[liindwyrm]

Hey Australian Heathens!

I'm thinking of making a discord server for heathens/norse pagans in Australia, but I want to know how many people would be interested in joining (if anyone)

I've been feeling kind of isolated being a heathen in Australia. Almost all related content is based in the northern hemisphere, the servers I join are dominated by people from the US and Europe, which makes proper interactions difficult due to the time zone differences (at least for me).

It would be an inclusive server, welcoming all LGBT+ and BIPOC people! (and anti t*rf, r*cist, f*cist)

(please only answer if you're in Australia!!)

If you have any questions or concerns, let me know! Although, keep on mind I'm still not 100% sure I'll do this!

[pharmapharabackup]

don't reckon i know how old this post is, don't find myself caring to check when the instinct is more powerful then the mind to reinstate it's call, apologies anyways for uneeded onslaught of gibberish.

onto the point, i was rewatching some playthroughs of the ace attorney series and this specific interaction within AJ has my psyche equally screwed over — we've seen a fair share of his cynicism throughout the whole game, it ain't nothing new, but this specific brand of surreptitious suspension found in these interactions stood out a lot to me and thought fit the OP.

it's the matter of which this defeathered attorney laughs off his daughters biting remarks, a matter of trying to assert his willpower to change, he knows better, his daughter is a keen one to his tells so he shouldn't have no reason to keep “secrets,” but he cant relent to change just yet, wide eyed jocose woes subject to a narrowed nihilism right after he's smudged out by reality with apollo's inquiry.

‘s hard for me to word it here when the screenshots speak more then i can, i know AJ is much more bashed on then quite a few other novelties but it's just so interesting to see such a different side to what we once were familiar to.

did he want to save his own skin from being naively disadvantaged once more? keep an apprentice he barely mentors for out of his troubles? “how can any woman ever count on you for anything,” — phoenix translating that to “how can anyone rely on you,” why should anyone rely on him? the same man who keeps digging his own holes, who couldn't save his mentor, who almost got him and his mentors sister ‘erased,’ and then straight up subject to offensive galvanism that came from barging in with evidence blazing.

it's intricately depreciating how he's built by reliance to his own whims, he's danced that dance even before being disbarred, before entering the office, when he grabbed not a dahlia but a rose by it's thorns and thrust it in peoples faces to acknowledge the petals, didn't care about the digging into his hands, glass in his throat.

he's always done his best to keep others safe, not just himself, but he's not letting down walls, he's just opening windows in them, trying to deceive as illuminated by OP, to be able to disengage people with sleeze but don't seethe, make others seethe.

maybe he would've taken apollo on more then sparingly pre a.a.4 like he did with maya and pearls, perhaps our attorney of justice would've known as much as skye did had wright felt like he was competent enough, because for all the infelictous informality he trudges apollo through, he doesn't doubt em for one moment, instead prophesying as the one who shouldn't have guidance sought from.

makes me wish we could've gotten more insight into his childhood the way we got that wrung out of edgeworth's, trust has always been a large part of wright's choreography throughout the games and it would scratch my brain to see his own experienced development of bonds before stumbling on any of the ones in his school age.

im still thinking abt 3-1's impact on phoenix as a character. because in 3-1 he's so trusting and open and unabashedly friendly until he realizes the truth abt dahlia. and just before dahlia is apprehended, she says this to him:

and after that he.. just doesnt tell anyone anything??? he never did get to tell mia about larry and miles and why he became a lawyer. and he doesn't tell maya either until she literally stops him and forces him to tell her. and he didn't tell maya about miles's disappearance. and he didn't say anything about his involvement with iris at the beginning of 3-5.

and in aa4, that secretiveness is only exacerbated after not only his client but the entire legal system suddenly turned on him. right out of the gate in 4-1, phoenix is very selective with the information he discloses, like when he chooses to plead the fifth and refuses to elaborate on his game with shadi, or when he lies to the judge about his locket (through omission, but a lie nonetheless). and even throughout the game, he never tells anyone about his work on the mason system and he doesn't tell apollo and trucy about their mother.

and not only that, but he works as a poker player!! the entire point of poker is to be secretive and misleading!!! and he keeps up this facade throughout the game, projecting this character of a sleazy, shady poker player, even leaning into the rumors of him forging evidence. all when he's trying to enact generally positive legal reforms!! it's as if he's keeping up this poker face throughout the game, and it only makes him even more secretive and cryptic.

my point is, there's such a stark contrast between the bubbly, emotional, and forthcoming college student phoenix wright and the mysterious, closed-off poker player phoenix wright. and even lawyer phoenix is secretive to a degree!!

and i can't help but think that dahlia's last words to phoenix before she was arrested contributed to that change at least partially. do you think dahlia would have never resorted to murder if phoenix didnt tell anyone abt the necklace? do you think he blames himself for doug swallow's death? he was just innocently gushing about his girlfriend!!! how could he have known it would lead to something like this!?? and if this much harm could have been caused just by telling people about a little necklace, i'd understand why phoenix wouldnt want to talk about his life at all!!

but as much as he's been betrayed or weathered down, no matter how many walls he builds or how he changes, there's one thing that has stayed constant throughout his life as we've seen it, and that's especially apparent with his beanie and locket. his beanie, likely a gift from trucy with the word "papa" stitched onto it, and the locket with a picture of his daughter. both symbols of his love for trucy, just like how he wore the bottle necklace and the sweater made by iris as a sign of his love for her. and if there's anything to glean from these parallels, it's that there's a part of phoenix that never faded away after all those years, that still cares for people so ardently and so strongly and with all his heart. and that's something that will probably never change.

[storiesforthepeople]

Movements of the Social Body

Before the Separation Act or the Dechristianization Campaigns, before the Purity war, I was just a kid named Noah.

Prime Minister Lee was on the telly again. “..essential that we strive to balance the wishes of our diverse communities. I come from a family with our own beliefs, my father would always take me aside to educate me about the roles we play as citizens according to Confucius. Now other communities, other families have their own role models, but we cannot allow one to dominate. Diversity is our..”- dad turned off the TV. “Diversity” began my father, “is the devil’s idea. This heathen compromise won't last forever, look at me son! I say it won't last forever, God won't allow it, no way Jose.” I nodded, fearful of my dad's bad moods. I was only 14.

My home - my parents - were no good for me. I fled home at 16, just as my country was about to change forever.

PURITY WAR

The Christian Warriors started out as an obscure club on the fringes of a coastal city. Their leader, Abraham, was a fanatic and a skilled leader.

Abraham: ..For humanity is depraved, wicked, and only GOD is good! The individual personality is God’s ENEMY, the focus of his divine wrath. Those who lust, the dancers, the ones who listen to sinful secular music as well as the FAGGOT and so-called TRANS-GENDER are not worthy of life. Pray with me now! Oh God, when we act out of personality, strike us down! Oh God oh father oh holy holy holy LORD! we BEG to be struck down by your divine wrath whenever we stray! Amen! LOUDER! AMEN!” The preacher took a moment to gather himself. “God knows we are vile and deserving of punishment, all of us down to our little children. We cannot help but be wicked, it is our essential nature - But!” And he held on to that word for effect. “But God in his infinite mercy has granted us a path! A path to salvation, can you believe it!? AMEN. AMEN! Believe without worldly proof, that is, believe with faith, and you are to be SAVED! Plucked from the assured embrace of the fire! We are tasked to spread the word, but as Jesus said, those that stand in our way will be put to the sword! AMEN! PRAISE JESUS! PRAISE GOD OUR FATHER! HALLELUJAH! AMEN!”

The Christian warriors deviated from mainstream Christianity in many respects, but in the coming decade they would claim orthodox status is Australia.

Time passed quickly, and when I look back on my childhood it's hazy - so much has changed. The government - Australian society too - have been molded into what the theocrats determine is orthodoxy. Of course, they made short work of those outwardly different: the flamboyant gays, the followers of Islam - and the Hindus too. All sent to the guidance centers, only to return as broken people, shadows, if at all.

I wasn't passive, by night I would spraypaint anti-Church slogans on the walls of my city, and I knew that if I ever found myself in the presence of the church leader I would end his life with my bare hands.

After the assassination attempt something seemed different, people were tense, they walked with affected purpose and they had begun to speak more freely in public. Clearly, oppression had created more opponents to Christian rule than the Church could have imagined. There were more of us than them. I turned a corner in the market, and saw the graffiti on the wall in massive letters: “Resistance springs from a single noble thought” I smiled, which caught the attention of a watching guard, one of the religious police. I looked away and kept walking.

DOCTOR (after fall of the theocracy)

Michael here is a doctor, a leading voice in the rise of the so-called Hyper-Secularists. With several bestselling books on the shelves, Michael has become the one to go to for literature on the edge of what is considered acceptable in the mainstream. Hope I haven't done a disservice to you there - “No, not at all, my readers come for the edginess and stay for the core message- the message that the religion our society is saturated in is poison, and that, contrary to mainstream belief, this is something we can address through government policy. The total disenfranchisement of religion is a real option that is open to us.” “the pastor’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. The presenter turned to him, he began, stammering “but this..this is extremist nonsense, religion is an established part of society, we cannot simply ban religion” “no? millions of children worry about the concept of hell every day, I'm thinking of them when I say the things I say, I'm thinking of the child I was, and what I could have done to have helped him.”

DECHRISTIANISATION CAMPAIGN

The scene was as dramatic as I would have expected. There were the Guardians, there were followers of Christ, there was the press, there, also, was I. The Christ followers were hand in hand forming several chains around the front of the Central Church, singing hymns somewhat pleasant to the ear. The guardians move in, breaking the chains, in response, no doubt according to plan, the slaves to Jesus switched to ostentatious prayer, all hands clasped, all desperate pleading for intervention from God, some with tears streaming down flushed faces. Some guardians entered the Central Church. They were resisted by the followers of Jesus, to no avail. Exiting the church, the guardians called in reinforcements and cleared everyone from the surrounding area. Some of the Christians went all out, screaming. “You can't do this!��� and “We have human rights!” and such. And, finally, when they realized the appeals to humanistic values had failed “you’ll go to hell for this, you're all going to hell!” “you will burn, your children will burn!” the guardian holding that individual took down their name and place of residence - threatening spiritual punishment was a chargeable offense. Everyone facing the old eyesore of a church, we heard a series of explosions from inside, and the whole structure imploded. I felt a thrill deep inside of me. Followers of Christ sobbing and wailing, I left the area with a spring in my step.

As the autumn leaves fell in the park, I approached the monument. ‘Dedicated to the dead and wounded on both sides of the Purity Campaigns, and those still under the heavy yoke of Christ.’ read the inscription.

[grace-williams-xo]

Why not

Assigning Bridgerton’s to a level on the Vegemite scale

[For the purposes of this exercise; they are for all intents and purposes Australian, and mentions of marmite will get you blocked. I’m KIDDING. Am I though… marmite sucks]. Also, they all use butter you fucking heathens.

Violet: 2; she just wants a little extra flavour, but she isn’t a complete weakling. Won’t eat it in any context except on toast.

Anthony: 6; he just wants to feel something. Complains cheesymite scrolls don’t have enough Vegemite.

Kate: 3; but rarely eats it with without cheese.

Benedict: 3–4; but with cheesybite. Ya know, that fever dream where they briefly called it iSnack 2.0? Frankly, ahead of its time with that name. Benedict is its number one fan.

Sophie: 0; she doesn’t eat Vegemite. [This was a real deliberation bc Yerin Ha is the only actual Australian but also most of the people I know who don’t eat Vegemite are Asian (not Wasain)]. She thinks Vegemite is the absence of culture, but straight up calls Benedict’s cheesybite an affront to humanity—and she’s doing her part to stop him because she’s certain he’s the only one left buying it atp.

Colin: 4–5; but more than that, he’s the guy putting Vegemite on everything. Steak. With avocado. There’s a recipe on the Baker’s Delight website using broken cheesymite scrolls to crumb chicken, he’s making that too. If Vegemite isn’t one of the first few foods his kids try, he considers himself to have failed as a parent. The Cadbury Vegemite block was Colin’s idea.

Penelope: previously 2, now 3–4; Colin has increased her tolerance but if he tries to sneak it into one more dinner meal she’s filing for divorce.

Daphne: 6; life is a competition and she’ll be damned if she can’t beat Anthony.

Simon: 3/6; if he’s making it for himself or the kids it’s about a 3 (though Daphne always tells him he’s doing it wrong and promptly takes over) (“they’re toddlers Daphne, you shouldn’t give them that much salt” “generations are built on the back of this stuff, Anthony and I have this much and we turned out fine” “did you” “did we what” “nothing dear”) but for himself Simon usually gets all of his Vegemite fix from just taking a bite of a corner of Daphne’s level 6

Eloise: 2–3; but with promite. She insists she likes it but no one really knows if she actually likes it, or is doing it to spite her family who all can’t stand it or the smell.

Francesca: 1; but she doesn’t have a lot because she’s always having it on a dark extra grainy bread that she claims doesn’t need much more flavour.

Gregory: 4; he has a Vegemite and cheese toastie every single day. Also, he was the one who submitted the name iSnack 2.0.

Hyacinth: 7; there is no toast, only Vegemite. There is no Hyacinth, only Vegemite. Violet is very concerned for her health. Anthony is too, but Violet says it’s his fault and influence.

[ginandoldlace]

KING ALFRED THE GREAT 848-899AD

In the words of Sir Walter Besant;

"Alfred is and will always remain the typical man of our race- call him Anglo Saxon, call him American, call him Englishman, call him Australian- the typical man of our race at his best and noblest"

England's most famous Saxon king of Wessex. Most famous for his successful defence against the Great Heathen and Summer Dane armies led by Guthrum, and the sons of Ragnar Lodbrok and efforts of pagan conversion.

In 853, whilst still a young boy, Alfred travelled on a pilgrimage with his father to Rome. Whilst there, he was confirmed by Pope Leo IV himself who grew a paternal love for the boy, and named Alfred an honorary consul of Rome and king of God (although Alfred was not expected to receive the throne as fifth in line). Alfred also spent a time in the court of the Frankish emperor, Charles the Bald.

Although suffering from life-long stomach sicknesses and pains, he distinguished himself as a scholar and a poet from childhood, an interest he inherited from his mother. As fate would have it, following the deaths of all his four older brothers, he was crowned king of Wessex at only 23.

Alfred was known as an incredibly pious and zealous Catholic monarch with special focus on education reforms with a desire for more peasants to be educated, especially in literacy and Church religion. He personally translated the Latin works of St. Augustine and St. Pope Gregory the Great into vernacular. He is also credited with building England's first navy.

Alfred spent most of his life trying to repel pagan invasions with a dream of uniting England into a single country. A dream that would be completed by his grandson, Athelstan, who defeated the last Viking stronghold as the first Anglo-Saxon ruler of all England.

Alfred would cement his fame in history at the battle of Ethandun where won a last stand, battle after a surprise attack which sent he and his family into hiding in the marshes for months.

Upon defeat, Viking chieftain, Guthrum, converted to Christianity and was baptised with Alfred as his godfather; subsequently ruling as Alfred's Christian puppet state in East Anglia.

After his victory at Eddington, Alfred worked on strengthening the borders against further Viking incursions by constructing a network of fortified burhs and forts to protect local peasants, manned by localised militias after he reformed the military to be more efficient. Throughout his rule, he also sent letters out to monasteries, bishops and feudal lords from mainland Europe, requesting for them to send learned scholars to his court to aid in education reforms; especially from the Franks. It was during this time, Alfred also taught himself Latin. Alfred was the king who saved England from total pagan rule, as the last Christian monarch standing. Even when defeated and all seemed lost, Alfred emerged from the marshes with an assembled army and made one of the greatest military and political comebacks in history.

[daemonianymphe-official]

Lovely friends, we present to you another very old song of ours in English. The song was recorded in Thessaloniki, featuring Australian singer and songwriter Louisa John-Krol as guest musician. Originally meant for another project, it was kept as a hidden gem until now. Louisa John-Krol who wrote the lyrics shares some words about Weddingone : ‘’The subject is young love. Two lovers have married, possibly in secret, after an elopement. Perhaps it is not even any kind of official or legal wedding, rather a union in a pagan, heathen, sylvan setting. Old Nod is another word for sleep. He turns his head away in respect for mortal privacy. The word 'gloaming' is one of my favourites. It means twilight. For faerie people, this is the liminal space between night and day, neither one nor the other. Dusk. Gloaming can be a noun, verb or adjective, so it's versatile for conjuring magic in language. Hardly anyone uses it now. I find it magical visually and sonically, like how Daemonia Nymphe celebrates ancient Greek words, ways and Mythos. There is a shadowy sense of foreboding that such impetuous romance is superficial in its brazen focus on youth. It is unlikely to last, or perhaps will change into something else with time.’’ The song is based on the original tune 'Hymenaios' (Krataia Asterope) which was sung in ancient Greek, enjoy!

https://www.deezer.com/en/album/532633412

[jules-has-notes]

Batman: Whatever It Takes (Unexpected Musical) — PattyCake Productions music video

It's often been observed that the masked vigilantes in comic books and the supervillains they fight have some things in common. One of those qualities is the will to go above and beyond what the average person would do, for good or ill. So when the PattyCake guys decided to dip their toes in the superhero pool, there was no better place to start than Tim Burton's version of Batman and some of his most notorious rogues.

Details:

title: Unexpected Musicals — Batman: Whatever It Takes

performers: Jason Tibbs (Batman), T. Robert Pigott (The Joker / featured vocals), James Keaton (The Penguin / featured vocals), Leah Lowman (Catwoman), Navid Nowakhtar (Tom Andrews); Hannah Juliano, Tony Wakim, & Layne Stein (featured vocals)

original songs / performers: "Batman Theme" & "Batman Suite" from Batman (1989) & Batman Returns (1992); "Whatever It Takes" by Imagine Dragons

written by: "Batman Theme" and "Batman Suite" by Danny Elfman; "Whatever It Takes" by Dan Reynolds, Wayne Sermon, Ben McKee, Daniel Platzman, & Joel Little

arranged by: Layne Stein & Tony Wakim

release date: 11 May 2018

My favorite bits:

the series title logo becoming dark and tarnished like the WB logo in the original 1989 film

that poor reporter reading his news copy like it's just a normal day (which, yeah, Gotham)

turning the barely-sung verses into actual spoken rap

Catwoman entering on ♫ "whip whip" ♫ while brandishing one

using a slowed down version of Elfman's orchestral theme under the chorus

Robby's fantasticly wheezy Joker laugh

giving ♫ "I'm the prodigal son" ♫ to the orphaned Penguin

Jason conveying Batman's growing frustration with only small movements

that smooth riff in the final chorus

Trivia:

○ All of these actors have appeared in previous "Unexpected Musicals" videos.

Jason was the prince in "Snow Spears", and one of the Mary Poppins chimney sweeps in "The Disney Showman".

Robby played Captain Hook in "Look What You Made Me Brew".

James was the elder Walt in "The Disney Showman".

Leah has inhabited several roles across the series, from Cinderella to Maleficent.

Navid was part of the crowds in both "Hocus Heathens" and "Beauty and the Bieber".

○ Jason's costume was created by The Batsmith, an Australian sculptor and costume maker who specializes in replicas of pieces from live-action Batman movies.

○ The incredible Joker and Penguin prosthetics were created by Andy Wright & Dana Bracewell at Makeup & Creative Arts, and applied on the day by Rick Underwood. The pieces were then added to their Morphstore product line.

○ In order to build anticipation, PattyCake posted a series of countdown teaser images to their social media in the days leading up to the video's release.

○ Layne posted behind the scenes videos of James during both filming and editing on his Instagram.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Layne Stein (@laynestein)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Layne Stein (@laynestein)

○ Robby enjoyed playing the Joker so much that he had some custom playing cards made using his photograph and gave them to the PattyCake crew.

○ This video is part of a loose pair celebrating DC and Marvel comic book movies with tracks from the latest Imagine Dragons album at the time. Its companion piece, "Avengers: Thunder", was released a few weeks later.

[generic-internet-name]

HI MARLENE hows it going bff havent talked to you for a while i feel like . aside from minecraft chicken arguments . stop defending alexs chicken related cruelty you heathen

first off i will never stop defending them until you stop being annoyed cause it's really funny.

second off oh BOY it's been exciting up here. you know i'm in california and you might have seen on the news(it's on the new york times idk if it's in australian news though) we are getting pummeled by storms. last night i was at a choir concert and the roads back home were so bad i had to stay at my friend's house and they didn't have power. we also don't have power but we're in the mountains so we have a generator and xfinity also set up a generator(BEFORE the storms unlike last year) so we have wifi too. if you want i can tell you more on discord cause its very exciting

[furmity]

On St Olaf's day I was in Djabugay country and met a very strange man. This was the Kuranda heritage markets, and I've never seen anything like it: lushly planted little laneways between shops of every hippy thing, over here dread beads, over there sound healing and reflexology. Incense and joint smoke and tourists.

I was wearing my Mjölnir pendant and he called me over asking if I knew what it represented, "It's associated with Odin- er, Thor". Self- proclaimed seer and rune reader, selling t- shirts for the Kuranda Vikings. They had some with a design of the Aboriginal flag with I suppose Sköll and Hati Hróðvitnisson chasing around. I remarked it was good to see that (always suspicious) and he went into full swing about how Aboriginal myths are JUST THE SAME, man, whoah...

Talking about Tarndanya heathenry, said I wasn't involved with anyone but we do have a big Viking festival (never been but I should, think it's Ngarrindjeri way). Also that twenty years ago my Mum was associated with the Rune Guild. "Oh, there's a Rune Guild?!".

... Read a lot of books on runes have you, fella?... he couldn't remember the names of many gods either, "What's the other one? Frigg." Said it was St Olaf's and that didn't mean anything to him.

"I'd love to give you a reading!" I made to go, this isn't my brother's thing and he was being very patient. "I sense TREPIDATION in you!" Ja, you don't know shit, probably dropped acid in the rainforest one time and decided you're Odin's mouthpiece.

Then there was this...

Which I suppose(?) I agree with the sentiment, but no, if it's any human colour it's black. Don't ever forget it.

[thenightling]

Here are some of the many names for Santa Claus. By the way, it's Claus, not Clause. The Tim Allen movie is meant to be a pun on contractual clauses. Also I won't be counting the Halloweentown mispronunciation of Sandy Claws from Nightmare before Christmas. Santa Claus - Derived from the Dutch for Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas / Saint Nick Kris Kringle Christkindl - Australian / German origin of Kris Kringle. Julnir (Yulnir) / Jolnir / Jultyr  (pronounced for us English speaking ears as Yule-near.) - This is version of Santa that is either the God Odin or a light elf. The original poem "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" said he was an elf and he's an elf when depicted in Marvel comics. Not the ridiculously short elves that American folklore seems used to but relatively human sized. He is from Nordic countries, Asatru / Heathen and Wiccan traditions. The Marvel animated movie Frost Fright confirms that Jolnir exists in Marvel comics. Come to think of it, a Ghost Rider one shot confirms that Krampus exists in Marvel comics. Father Christmas - Popular UK name for Santa. And finally... Befana - I love Befana. She's actually from Italian folklore and kids in Italy believe in her today. She was a witch friend of the Three Wise Men (who were actually wizards in original traditional lore. That's what Magi means). She couldn't accompany them to see the Christ child because she was too busy cleaning. Now on the eve of Epiphany (January 5th / 6th) she flies on her backward broom (bristles facing front) and goes down the chimney. She delivers presents to good children, and leaves coal in the stockings of bad children. She performs exactly the same way Santa does and I think she's an adorable character. I wish she'd catch on here in the US. Children leave milk out for her. Apparently she loves milk. (A witch after my own heart!) And since she does her gift giving on Epiphany it's easy to let your kids believe in Santa AND Belfana (just divide up the gifts so they get half at Christmas and half at Epiphany. To a child's mind it means double the gifts). Belfana is the only female equivalent of Santa and she is my favorite.

[goblinus-maximumbo]

Greetings, foolish denizens of Tumblr! I, DANKY KONG, Licensed Hog-Stealer and Level-E, Jokelore professor at the Darwin Institute of Hy-Yi-Yi, have migrated from the fowlest depths of Discord and Reddit to bring you a fascinating and seasonally appropriate file from the vagaries of the Darwin Institute. I bid all of you heathens a glorious Australia Day void of bushfires, feral rabbits, and political tension.

Creature Files: Bunyip

Place of Origin: Southern Australia

Habitat: Swamps, lakes, waterholes, or any landlocked water-body

Class: ???

Threat Level: XXXX (High)

The Australian bush is home to many strange and fearsome creatures, many of which are found nowhere else on the planet. From the dreaded Emu, a birdlike monster responsible for one of the bloodiest wars in human history, to the repulsive, frankensteinian Platypus, to the vast array of venomous snakes and spiders that lurk within the aussie underbrush. Among these terrifying creatures that call the dreaded under-down their home, lurks the enigmatic and elusive Bunyip, a beast so terrifying it could make the mighty Old Nick wet his trousers prematurely.

Unlike many creatures we list here, who can be at least partially classified into some kind of classification system, be it taxonomical or otherwise, some beings simply defy all logic. The Bunyip appears to be one such creature, as its anatomy and physical description is fickle to say the least. Some say the bunyip resembles some kind of pinniped with flippers, whiskers, and a flat face comparable to a bulldog, pug, or owl. Others however, are adamant it's a long-necked creature with wrinkly skin, a horelike-mane, and an equine or avian head. Other accounts describe it as being a giant starfish, a nessie clone, a shaggy, carnivorous cow, a clinically depressed, napsack-toting chimera, a snake-tongued, pig-nosed, big-eyed ogre thing, a beaked crocodile, or literally any description you can think of. The one feature that is consistent with bunyip reports (give or take) would be its behavior. The Bunyip lives in landlocked bodies of water. Bunyips are ravenous predators, mostly foraging for crayfish, as well as human women and children (though some sources say it was an herbivore). Bunyips tended to create underwater or riverside dens called Gunyah by aboriginal peoples. The Bunyip is mostly heard rather than seen, as it marks its vast territory by emitting deep, loud, bellows. Anyone foolhardy enough to ignore the bunyips warnings are quickly devoured or drowned in floods the bunyip conjures up. If one is to encounter a wild Bunyip (which you should in no way be in the position to do so), it is advised to curl on the ground in a fetal position and hope for the inevitable, for escape or defense from the bunyip is entirely futile. It is also strongly disadvised that one steals a bunyips calf, as this may result from the erasing of you and your community off the face of the earth.

As with most cryptids, much of the blinkered scientific board and general public do not believe the bunyip to exist, chalking it up to being nothing more than a misidentified mundane animal or purley mythical being. Personally I find this explanation to be absolute bullshit and is merely a cop out as to fit in to their conservative worldview.  After five whole minutes of rigorous research, I have concluded that the bunyip may be of the esoteric, lovecraftian persuasion. Its physical form is so inconceivable to the euclidean human mind, that it simply fills in the blanks with whatever bits and pieces it can conjure. But of course, until the racist old bastard himself rises from the dead to confirm my suspicions, there can be no way to truly validate this. 

This year, during your Australia day sacrifice to Old Nick and his malignant colonialist forces, remember to raise a bottle to the Bunyip, a metaphysical reminder of why we should spend time with those we love instead of screwing around in billabongs aimlessly.

[blubushie]

ok we all know Medic gets high on his medigun fumes, and i know your hc about Mundy and shrooms, but do you think the other mercs get high and if so on what (take this to mean the canon characters or your blu team idc)

Soz if this is confusing because the shrooms are kicking in. Happy 4/20!

Just to clarify the Sniper one isn't a headcanon, he canonically does shrooms. Him getting high off cane toads though is a headcanon specific to Learnin' the BLUs.

I don't really do headcanons of canon characters except as they apply to my fic because I think it kinda causes some obsessions over who has the "right" headcanon if that makes sense? Headcanon wars. With that in mind this will all be as it applies to the fic. Little pro tip for the future: if I use names, then I'm referring to characters as they relate to the fic. Class titles specifically are in referral to characters in canon. For example, canon Sniper is always referred to as Sniper. My characterisation of Sniper is always referred to as Mundy. Helps to avoid confusion. That out of the way...

RED TEAM

Jeremy: Ma said drugs are bad. Drinks alcohol but only beer and fruity cocktails which he never drinks around the team because he thinks they’ll judge him for drinking a pink Cosmopolitan. They wouldn’t. Only stimulant he uses is caffeine in the form of Bonk. He only drinks Cherry Fission and Crit-A-Cola.

Soldier: Something something war on drugs, unknowingly takes sedatives Luddy gives him so he’ll sleep later in the morning instead of playing the bugle terribly at exactly 4am every morning. Now he wakes up everyone at 6:30am instead. Get drunk on beer with Tav.

Firebug (Pyro): Cannabis. The only person who has seen what he looks like under the mask is Engie and Ludwig. How does he smoke it? No clue. Probably not a bong, most likely a pipe because of the pretty colours of the blown glass. Always keen to share.

Tavish: Scrumpy and (rarely) beer. Only drinks beer when he’s out of Scrumpy and he prefers Blu Streak to Red Shed. Has probably done cannabis with Pyro once or twice but not a stoner in the slightest.

Mikhail: Complete abstinence, not even liquor.

Dell: Adderall and only Adderall. He uses it to keep him awake and focused when he's working on projects at night. Also drinks beer, he too prefers Blu Streak to Red Shed. There’s a running joke here of no one drinking Red Shed because Red Shed tastes like skunk piss. Occasionally drinks Jack Daniels, always pours it into a glass. On rare occasions will smoke a cigar.

Ludwig: Has done everything under the sun at least once. Sources half the shit he gets from Mundy. Ayahuasca? Peyote? Shrooms? DMT? Ketamine? Mundy will set you up. 50% chance Luddy grows his own opium poppies. Doesn't get high recreationally, just does it for the science (except when his Medigun is involved, he totes gets high off that for shits and giggles).

Jacques (Spy): Nicotine and alcohol, everything else is for heathens. He prefers brandy because he's a pompous French cunt that only drinks French shit. Probably smokes fucking Gauloises like the cunt he is. That said he also knows how to enjoy a cigar and probably imports Cohibas from Cuba because he's such a cunt.

Mundy: If it can be naturally sourced, fair chance he's tried it (Mundy does not fuck with anything synthetic). Psychonaut of the team to the point Luddy goes to him for advice. Routinely does shrooms, occasionally travels to Arizona to catch Colorado River toads to source DMT for later. Feral about the DMT and does not share but will share his shrooms with you if you ask nicely. Picks them himself. Has everything from cubes to azzies but hates azzies because (despite being a more intense high) they're still azzies and every time he takes them he ends up paralysed for two hours. ABSOLUTELY HATES CANNABIS. As a bushman and an Australian he has a finely-tuned sense of smell and the smell of cannabis drives him up a wall. Has done everything I have minus LSD and ecstasy. Has done opium in a Bombay den and in Bangkok. The Bangkok one was more fun. Has done ketamine four times (makes it himself) but only once was recreationally. One was to treat pain after he was shot during a job (yes this was the one above his armpit). The other two was accidentally sticking himself with Sleeper darts because he's a dumb cunt. Actually doesn't like ketamine all that much because if he takes a full dose he wakes up with a headache. Probably bumped cocaine off a hooker's arse once and he will take that secret to his grave. Also smokes, obviously. Prefers Winfields (the red pack) but when he has the time he hand-rolls his own durries. Also chews tobacco sometimes. DOES NOT DRINK CAFFEINE. It makes his hands shake. Loves the taste of coffee (he drinks it black with no sugar) but only uses decaf beans so the caffeine level is so low that it doesn’t affect his aim. Also has a surprisingly good taste for alcohol—his favourite beer is VB but the best beer he’s ever had was Emu Export, he can just never find it outside of WA. Favourite cocktail is the old fashioned because he has an affection for whisky. Also spent his life drinking his dad’s bushshine plus is an Australian, so he has the highest liquor tolerance out of everyone on either team and could drink anyone under the table. Despite being VERY INSISTENT on psychedelic safety he's a complete hypocrite when it comes to practice: he never has a trip sitter, he does it when he's depressed or upset, he takes heroic/breakthrough doses even when he's already feeling like shit, and he spontaneously trips instead of planning in advance. Don't be like Mundy (or me). Also a massive adrenaline junkie and this becomes VERY OBVIOUS in Australia.

TIME FOR BLU TEAM!

Jesse: Ma said drugs are bad, but what Ma don’t know won’t hurt her. Isn’t allowed to smoke cigarettes and even Mundy refuses to give any to her unless she promises not to inhale. That said, she’s curious about shrooms but wouldn’t do anything besides that, and would only ever do shrooms with an experienced psychonaut she trusts (cough Mundy cough). Caffeine addict by way of Bonk. Only drinks Blutonium Berry and Crit-A-Cola. Would absolutely fight Jeremy for the last tinny of Crit-A-Cola. Will drink any alcohol except brandy. Has a surprisingly high alcohol tolerance especially for her size (cheers, Ma) and is one of the ~10% of the human population who doesn’t get hangovers. Actually scared of opioids and would never do them because Mikey overdosed on heroin. Had to be physically restrained when Suki gave her heroin in Italy after she was shot because she freaked out over it.

Dougal: Only smokes cigars and drinks Scotch whisky.

Heinz: Hates smoking because it irritates his already-damaged throat. Only drinks schnapps and beer. Doesn’t do recreational drugs.

Liem: Chews tobacco, doesn’t smoke. Alcoholic who only drinks beer. Favourite beer is Blu Streak. Became an alcoholic after Ted’s death.

Bruce: Only drinks beer, occasionally smokes cigars, will rarely let Suki test opioids on him.

Tamotu: Smokes cannabis. Has never done any other drugs but would be 100% keen to do psychedelics with Mundy sometime on account of Mundy being an experienced psychonaut and excellent trip-sitter.

Suki: Doesn’t do anything outside drinking sake and the occasional Adderall. However in the past she once did a bump of cocaine during a 36-hour stint in trauma surgery, and then proceeded to do surgery while high on the cocaine. The patient lived. That said Suki gets very hyperactive and more “aggressive” when she’s off her chops—give her phencyclidine and she’d burn the fucking state down. Has never and will never smoke. Yells at everyone else for smoking.

Yuri: Has never done any drugs ever except occasionally drinking a shot of vodka. You can tell shit’s about to go down when Yuri is getting into the liquor cabinet. Has a liquor tolerance to almost rival Liem. Chews tobacco, doesn’t smoke.

Charles: Chainsmoker and nicotine addict. Drinks Scotch whisky and still has no idea what happened to his $10,000 bottle of 1937 32-Year Macallan Fine & Rare but suspects Liem to be the culprit. Would never do reactional drugs because it’s for heathens. Complete lightweight when it comes to alcohol (Jesse got all of her tolerance from her mother) but also doesn’t get hangovers.

[linguistlist-blog]

Books: Australian Pama­-Nyungan languages: Stockigt (2024)

A substantial proportion of what is discoverable about the structure of many Aboriginal languages spoken on the vast Australian continent before their decimation through colonial invasion is contained in nineteenth-century grammars. Many were written by fervent young missionaries who traversed the globe intent on describing the languages spoken by “heathens”, whom they hoped to convert to Christianity. Some of these documents, written before Australian or international academic institutions expr http://dlvr.it/TFVXCd

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 2.2 (before 1920)

506 – Alaric II, eighth king of the Visigoths, promulgates the Breviary of Alaric (Breviarium Alaricianum or Lex Romana Visigothorum), a collection of "Roman law". 880 – Battle of Lüneburg Heath: King Louis III of France is defeated by the Norse Great Heathen Army at Lüneburg Heath in Saxony. 962 – Translatio imperii: Pope John XII crowns Otto I, Holy Roman Emperor, the first Holy Roman Emperor in nearly 40 years. 1032 – Conrad II, Holy Roman Emperor becomes king of Burgundy. 1141 – The Battle of Lincoln, at which Stephen, King of England is defeated and captured by the allies of Empress Matilda. 1207 – Terra Mariana, eventually comprising present-day Latvia and Estonia, is established. 1428 – An intense earthquake struck the Principality of Catalonia, with the epicenter near Camprodon. Widespread destruction and heavy casualties reported. 1438 – Nine leaders of the Transylvanian peasant revolt are executed at Torda. 1461 – Wars of the Roses: The Battle of Mortimer's Cross results in the death of Owen Tudor. 1536 – Spaniard Pedro de Mendoza founds Buenos Aires, Argentina. 1645 – Scotland in the Wars of the Three Kingdoms: Battle of Inverlochy. 1653 – New Amsterdam (later renamed The City of New York) is incorporated. 1709 – Alexander Selkirk is rescued after being shipwrecked on a desert island, inspiring Daniel Defoe's adventure book Robinson Crusoe. 1814 – The last of the River Thames frost fairs comes to an end. 1848 – Mexican–American War: The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is signed. 1850 – Brigham Young declares war on Timpanogos in the Battle at Fort Utah. 1868 – Pro-Imperial forces capture Osaka Castle from the Tokugawa shogunate and burn it to the ground. 1870 – The Seven Brothers (Seitsemän veljestä), a novel by Finnish author Aleksis Kivi, is published first time in several thin booklets. 1876 – The National League of Professional Baseball Clubs of Major League Baseball is formed. 1881 – The sentences of the trial of the warlocks of Chiloé are imparted. 1887 – In Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, the first Groundhog Day is observed. 1899 – The Australian Premiers' Conference held in Melbourne decides to locate Australia's capital city, Canberra, between Sydney and Melbourne. 1900 – Boston, Detroit, Milwaukee, Baltimore, Chicago and St. Louis, agree to form baseball's American League. 1901 – Funeral of Queen Victoria. 1909 – The Paris Film Congress opens, an attempt by European producers to form an equivalent to the MPCC cartel in the United States. 1913 – Grand Central Terminal opens in New York City.