#At this point I'm just screaming into the void

[aerinmoriarty]

Yeah, and it really gets to a point where you cannot in good faith ignore Taylor's queerness and still analyze her work with any depth or thoroughness.

I was really scared to make Gaylor content at first because people can be SO hostile. So for a while I tried to just ignore all the queer subtext and like...

It drove me fucking mad. It felt like trying to analyze a film while wearing a blindfold, noise canceling headphones, and a bag over my head. I had to set aside everything I ever learned about feminist symbolism and queer symbolism and queer history and queer relationships, esp everything i knew about the Sewing Circle and the history of sapphic performers in show business.

It was like analyzing Taylor's songs with my hands over my ears while I screamed lalala; i had to ignore so much of what I've learned about media analysis as a whole, too.

It was not good faith analysis, nor was it thorough or deep analysis. It exclusively restricted me to fairly surface level meanings.

There is a reason why non-gaylor theorists are literally years behind us in their analysis, and that is because there are so many doors that only get opened once you accept Taylor as a queer person. There are so many theories that have gaping holes, which magically get filled once you accept her as queer. When I listen to non-gaylor theories, there are just so many holes and inconsistencies, and entire lines and verses that they just cannot make sense of...

Because they're gay...

They're so fucking gay...

...seriously, not even literal ostriches with their heads in the sand can ignore the gay...

And even people who refuse to accept Taylor as queer know she's queer because every time her queer little ass pranced across the eras tour stage in a dykey new outfit, guess the FIRST comments I always saw on social media, every single time...

"Noooooooo THIS IS GONNA MAKE THE GAYLORS INSUFFERABLE," a Hetlor would shout into the void...

(...sooooo yall are admitting it looked gay, right? Cause you're saying we are gonna freak before we even say anything?)

And i think in part they do this to force a lot of gaylor discourse to remain surface level. I have a lot of deeper theories. The absolute, bare minimum starting bar for entry is accepting Taylor is queer. And every time I try to dig DEEP into that, to really re-factor every aspect of Taylor's life and art and career with the understanding that she is queer and consider the deep implications, there's the constant attempts by homophobes to take it back surface level by doubting the entry bar factor of Taylor's queerness.

And it is exhausting.

Because we should not have to wait until one of the Most Successful Queer Women of All Time comes out to heterosexual people's standards to appreciate her as such.

I'm so tired of only being able to celebrate the queer icons I adore and respect when they're dead and gone, or at best when they're old enough to not care about cishet opinions any longer.

Coming out to cishet standards means suffering the violence of a system increasingly built to force others to hate us. Nasty think pieces, being branded a liar or a fraud, losing career opportunities and friends, being the victims of physical altercations... many queer performers have suffered these fates or worse.

I'm just rambling at this point, but the deeper I dig into Taylors work, the more beautiful, magnificent, heartbreaking, powerful and emotionally gripping the story she's telling becomes.

And you're not even appreciating the half of Taylor if you think she's straight.

The large number of songs Taylor Swift has made that are about forbidden love is very telling, if you ask me. Not to mention how she’s constantly referencing Christianity, and churches, and old-fashioned beliefs, and sin, and religion in general. Like, are y’all really not hearing her?

And there’s a huge amount of Taylor Swift songs where she uses the pronoun “you” for the muse, not describing them as a man nor a woman, whilst also mentioning one or more of her past love interests, describing them as “Kens” and “playthings for her to use”, talking about how she’s been toying them around and how they never satisfied her in the same way her current muse does… the boys and their expensive cars have never taken her quite where her current muse does. And isn’t it funny how the muse in question is almost never explicitly stated to be a man in songs like this?

I just find it strange how so many people seem to completely miss this. Taylor Swift haters often use the argument “All her songs are about her exes” when hating on her, but if you ask me, “All her songs are about forbidden love, religious guilt to some degree and how society will never accept her and her love” is much more accurate.

[minai28]

At this point I'm tempted to write an essay on spirituality and gender just to SHUT MY MOM UP.Ma'am idk what you thought you raised but it wasn't a daughter, so please stop referring to me as such!

We were visiting my father's grave, well the tree his ashes were buried under, he doesn't have tradition headstone. My mom being my mom talked to him, as if the ashes feeding the tree could talk back. And she kept referring to me as his daughter. Ugh. I'm not even sure if she remembers me being trans or if she suppressed that conversation so hard she completely forgot but it's getting on my nerves.

[nocek]

Do you want to hear a funny story?

So you know that I was drawing spiderverse comics lately. Because they are fun to do. And I think people like them. I mean the most popular one has like 4K notes? That's lot for me when I usually dwell in tiny fandoms made out of like 3 people and their dog. So it's nice, everybody is having fun and I'm grateful.

but

BUT

I just found out that somebody took few of that comics. Cut them up and run the text through ai reading voice and posted it as reels on fucking youtube.

And it's not even that I'm stumped why even turn 4 pictures into video. First time I see such a time wasting thing but ok. People do like different things.

And even lke some effort was done to erase text from speech bubbles so it appears as the ai spews it aloud but it's not even about it

I had pictures taken and posted somewhere else. Usually without credit. At least this time it was credited? I guess I should be grateful.

What fucking gets me is that those comics have several hundred thousand views and few hundred comments each.

Like fucking seriously.

I don't know what's the point

I don;t know what should I feel about this

I mean unless you can make money on youtube reels? Then I can at least be pissed about it. Nice clean feeling?

Because what gets me is that most of those comments are nice so I should be happy about it? I guess? But I feel like a pathetic peeping tom looking for appreciation that wasn't given to me actually eve if I did the thing

ugh

I'm just tired

this day was already shitty so i guess it's time to give up and take a nap

next comic will be delayed

[samijey]

why are they always like this.......

bonus Jey responding with some serious "i love you // i know" energy:

[notsodailycake]

I'm having thoughts about "Httyd: The Hidden World" and how incredibly disappointed I feel about it, and how I hate that.

Specifically, how I hate the fact I can't simply enjoy it. I feel envious every time I see someone praise the movie and show genuine love for it, meanwhile I sit here looking at it with utter disappointment and finding it hard to think it as canon.

And I tried to enjoy it, I really did.

I only watched it much recently, not when it came out, with not much memory of the 2 previous movies, and yet I sat there confused and in utter shock of the plot. I can't just sit here and ignore all the worldbuilding it broke, all the morals they fought for in the previous movies that got completely thrown out of the window. And this isn't even including the series (which I am now also watching bc I never got the chance to finish them), the more episodes I watched, the more the 3rd movie just became worse to me with how many things it just threw away.

But again, without the series, it still just doesn't sit right with me.

And I'm not gonna go on a rant about why, bc I think that deserves to be it's own post, or else this one would be way too long for me to type out coherently, I dont wanna focus on that rn (feel free to ask tho I guess).

I watched it with my dad, who was the one who introduced httyd to me (or well, it was one of the random movies that came out at the time that he had us watch since he knew me and my sis liked animated stuff), and he has no recollection of the older movies, and even HE felt put off by it. It just felt so....empty?

Idk

People can enjoy it, I dont wanna take that away from them, but it just sucks. I hate how this movie is the canon for it, how I'll have to sit here and accept that this is how it ended, (imma ignore the future series thank u very much), that not everyone will agree with me that this movie isn't canon and that we can move past it, which they shouldn't, people deserve to have their own opinions ofc. But that I, out of my own stupid will and stubbornness of not being able to move past it, will just sit here in this deep and dark hole of disappointment and no matter how much I claw my fingers on it's walls I wont ever escape to the top of the light.

There are stuff I genuinely enjoy about this movie tho, how they introduced hiccstrid kids, the cute chemistry between them and the lovely flashbacks between Hiccup and his dad. There were some moments I genuinely luaghed at and still do. But it's all attached to a bigger and broken plotline with such disappointing conclusions (take a sip every time I say disappointing).

And yes, there is the "ignore canon choose fanon" line, in which I do follow alot. But here, for some reason, I have such a hard time doing so :(

So yeah, I hate that I can't enjoy the 3rd movie. I hate that I live in constant disappointment for it and there wont be anything I can do about it bc that's how it is, how it ended, the canon.

I'm not here for an argument tho. If you like the movie, than great! Go enjoy it! I'm not stopping you, I'm not trying to invalidate that and sorry if I did come off that way. I personally just have alot of gripes with it and feel kinda alone about it

Just block and move on if this bothers you, I dont wanna upset anyone with this, just need a let out of my frustrations

[zo1nkss]

s3 opens with Stede walking into he and Ed's shared bedroom. Izzy's half-transparent ghost is sitting at the desk with his legs propped up.

"Christ didn't you die?!"

"I did," Izzy smirks. "Can't get rid of me that easily, Bonnet."

[thornheartfelt]

Idk if I want this blog anymore or at least I feel like that right now

[mintytrifecta]

I've gotten to the point of social media posting where I don't even register to do it for recognition I haven't checked my notes in like over two months

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[hekateinhell]

You know what else drives me insane about Lestat, Louis, and Armand?

Aside from Gabrielle, Armand is the only one alive today who has known Lestat the longest.

Aside from Lestat, Armand is also the only one alive today who has known Louis the longest.

Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing, but I lose it every time I remember how deeply all three of their histories and arcs intertwine throughout the entirety of TVC. Like, whether Louis knew it or not, the ball started rolling for him when Armand and Lestat first met in 1781.

[femmeleatherface]

no context spoilers for the phantom of manhattan

this book is fucking TERRIBLE

[iguessitsjustme]

I swear to god I'm gonna start rewriting MDL summaries for shows. None of them are good. This is why I rarely read summaries before watching anything and prefer to go in blind. Because it's better than being tonally lied to. Like MDL will have a summary that leads me to believe a show is just a lighthearted fun show and then 10 minutes into the show I'll be like "Oh, oh no. This is gonna be traumatic." But by that point I'm invested

[musical-chick-13]

My God. Does anyone knows when it stops hurting. Does anyone know how to stop feeling like this.

[tardis--dreams]

You know what? I give up on this paper once and for all. I'm not even ashamed anymore

[zhouxiangs]

this is a story about hate. this is a story about love. this is a story about a war. this is a story about a promise. this is a story about two souls reliving their tragedy time and again, carving it into the world like talons on flesh; they will always find each other, and they will always fall in love, and it will always end with them dying.

or maybe this isn't a story at all. maybe this is just a broken record, and maybe it's time to lift the needle.

(moulin rouge, baz luhrmann & craig pearce / deathless, catherynne m. valente / the letter, amy lowell / my heart, ibn hazm (translated by ammiel alcalay) / you too can have a body like mine, alexandra kleeman / a birthday, aleister crowley / wasted days, oscar wilde / symmetrical companion, may swenson / sonnet of the garland of roses, federico garcía lorca (translated by john k. walsh and francisco aragón) / deathless, catherynne m. valente / moulin rouge, baz luhrmann & craig pearce)

[dandunn]

'don't ship that, ship THIS'

'why are people focused on THAT when they could look at THIS'

'bad media literacy nuance reading comprehension-'

'why is NO-ONE writing fic about-'