#At least they’re having better time than Atsushi…

[lynnlyrae]

Well, this new chapter sure has been… eventful. Idk where exactly all liquified folks go, but I’ve decided to let them just hang out in some other realm and be pals. When Ame no Gozen liquifies another one, I’ll add them to this group. New drinking game unlocked~

[dira333]

Kiss the Cook - Murasakibara x Reader

Warning: Pure Fluff, Little Plot

Thanks to @reverie-starlight for getting me back in my KNB Feels.

It’s the smell of freshly cut apples that pulls him in.

In his defense, he’s incredibly hungry, but Muro-chin won’t let him have any snacks until they’ve made it to their seats. It’s also Muro-chin’s fault that they’re too early and have to wait for the doors to open.

But there’s the smell of freshly cut apples and he turns his head to get a look. If someone’s handing out food he will even eat apple slices.

Not far from their group, Atsushi finds the source of the delicious smell. You’re cutting up a pretty red apple, nick the edges a little to make it look like a bunny, and hand it over to a little girl. 

You’re smiling, something he only notices when he’s almost reached you.

“Can I help you?” You ask, confusion seeping into your eyes.

“Can I have a piece?” Atsushi asks, pointing at the apple. Behind him, he can hear Muro-chin call his name. But this is more important. He’s hungry.

“Oh, eh, sure, I guess.” You hand over a slice. He does not take it.

“Can you make it a bunny too?” Your eyes widen at his question but you nod and nick the edges, handing it over with slightly shaky hands. Funny. 

“Thank you.” Atsushi says, because he knows how to be polite, and drops the slice into his mouth. The apple is sweet and juicy and it makes him feel better instantly.

“Murasakibara,” Muro-chin appears to his left, “We can go in now.”

-

Your voice reminds him of apples now.

You’re in at least one of his classes but College Classes are bigger than the ones at Yosen or Teiko and he often gets people confused. Your voice, however, stands out. 

Sometimes, when Atsushi’s dozing off in class and you raise your hand to ask a question, he’s pulled out of his lethargy just by the sound of it, the softness of your vowels, or the sharpness of your thoughts.

It’s a little weird, he thinks, so he doesn’t bring it up to Muro-chin.

-

“You have to try this!” You say, offering a box of cookies to two other girls, “I made them last night and they turned out so good.”

Atsushi only realizes that he’s stepped over when you’re looking up at him, eyes wide and full of confusion yet again.

“Can I have one?” He asks because he knows how to be polite. One of the other girls pulls a face and he raises his hand to push her away, like he does with the annoying guys on his basketball team. But you’re faster, lifting the box up to him. 

“Sure,” you say. Your lips quiver slightly as if they’re shaking. Just like your hand when you gave him the apple bunny. Funny.

Atsushi takes one cookie and bites into it. The edges are crispy, but it’s soft on the inside, filled with gooey, sweet caramel. It tastes amazing and he wonders if he can have the rest of those cookies before he’s even finished the first one.

“Very good,” Atsushi says, licking some leftover Caramel off his fingertips. “You should try making them with salted Caramel too.”

“Oh,” your eyes are wide and warm and his stomach does something funny at the sight. “That’s a great idea! Thank you!”

“Murasakibara!” Muro-chin calls, “We’re going to be late for training.”

He pulls his shoulders up, not wanting to go yet. Not when there are so many more cookies to eat.

You seem to read his mind because you take another cookie out of the box and offer it to him. “The rest are for my friends,” you say and it sounds like you’re apologizing. “Have fun at training.”

Atsushi smiles, eats the cookie as slowly as he can while he follows Muro-chin. Apples with Caramel make a good treat as well.

-

“Muro-chin?” Atsushi asks one night after training. He barely moved today, but he feels tired, his brain exhausted from turning around a problem he cannot find a solution to. “How do you make a girl like you?”

Muro-chin looks like that one time someone accidentally shot the Basketball into his stomach. “Are you saying that you like a girl?”

“No, I asked you how I make a girl like me.”

“Murasakibara, shouldn’t that be the same thing?”

He ponders that for a moment before he deems it too difficult. 

“How do I make her like me?” 

Muro-chin sighs. “What have you done so far?”

“Nothing,” Atsushi blinks. “I eat her food.”

“Oh,” Muro-chin’s face is doing the thing again. He must have figured something difficult out. “So it’s her,” Muro-chin mutters softly, finger prodding his lips. “Have you tried offering her some food?”

“I don’t share my food.”

Muro-chin sighs again. “I know, Murasakibara. Everyone knows. But if you want a girl to like you, you have to show her that she’s special to you. Like doing something for her you’d do for no one else.”

Atsushi tries to think about it, but his brain is moving as slowly as a tired snail. He’s not good at thinking when he’s hungry but all that’s left of today’s snacks are those limited edition Umaibou that he doesn’t really like. He stares down at them and thinks, that yes, he could share them with you.

-

“Do you want one?” Atsushi asks, holding the Umaibou package in front of your eyes so you can’t miss them. Thanks to his long legs he’s had no problem catching up to you in the hallways.

“Eh?” You blink rapidly and take a step back. “Are you- Are you sure?”

“Yes,” He nods and pushes them into your hands before he can reconsider. After all, he is a little hungry right now and even if they’re not the best flavor- But now you’ve taken the snack from him and your mouth is doing that little quivering that makes his stomach do funny things.

You tear the package open and bite into it, smiling up at him for a second before you scrunch your face up. It looks adorable.

“Yuck!” You press your hand against your mouth as you force yourself to swallow. “What flavor is that?”

“Vegemite.” 

You stick your tongue out as if that could get the taste off. 

“That’s disgusting,” You shudder. “But… thank you… for offering it. You didn’t know it would taste so bad.”

“No, I did.” 

“You did?” You look up at him. “Then why…?”

“Muro-chin said to share my food with you,” He explains. “So that you know that you’re special to me.”

Your eyes widen almost comically. You open your mouth, but no words come out. 

It’s funny at first. You look cute like that. But while he’s learned to be polite, he doesn’t have the best patience.

“Are you okay?” Atsushi asks and waves his hand in front of your face.

“Ye- I mean, I don-t… know?”

“Oh. Then let’s go.” He takes your arm and pulls you with him. You follow without protest at first, only finding your voice when you’re down the hallway and up the stairs.

“Where are we going?”

“To the nurse. You’re not feeling well.”

“No, that’s not it-”

He stops to look at you. When he puts his hand on your temple, the skin is hot. 

“You’re warm. You probably have a fever.”

“No, I’m flustered, you dummy.”

Atsushi blinks. “Why?”

“Because you told me you liked me right now. Without warning! In front of all those people.”

He blinks again. “I did?”

“Yeah, you said… you said I was special to you.” Your eyes widen again. Before he can say anything you reach out and slap your cheeks with your hands. “Oh my god. That’s not what you meant, right? I just misunderstood you because I wanted it to mean that.”

Atsushi blinks. This is too much talking.

“Do you like me?” He asks and you look up at him with wide eyes, hands still pressed to your cheeks. Slowly, you nod. 

His stomach flips, but not in the way it does on roller coasters. This is a new feeling and he wonders what he has to do to feel it again.

“I like you too.” 

Your lips quiver at his words. He can’t help himself, reaches out, and presses his pointer finger against it, hoping to feel that quiver that he can see. It flips his stomach yet again.

“I bet you just like my food,” your voice sounds a little tense. Like you’re only half joking. Muro-chin does that too, sometimes.

Atsushi cocks his head, trying to guess if that’s a question or not. It probably is.

“I like your voice,” He says because he’d been thinking about it earlier. “It sounds like caramel apples. And your lips are cute. When they quiver like that…” He taps them when they do it again. “It does funny things to my stomach.”

“Well,” you say, reaching for his finger that’s still pressed against your lips. Your finger tangle with his, warm skin against warm skin. It makes his stomach flip again. “You could have just asked me out on a date, you know?”

“Oh?” He blinks. “Do you want to go on a date, then?”

“Yeah.” You smile. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

-

“Oni-chan!” Your little sister races down the stairs at his sight, “You’re here!”

He picks her up with ease, lifts her up until her fingertips touch the ceiling. 

“I’m here.” He greets her. She laughs and clings to him, begs to be lifted onto his shoulders. Atsushi complies, listens to her bubbly voice as she pulls on his hair. 

“Onee-chan made chocolates today,” she tells him. “I got to help.”

“Really? Did you make one for me too?”

“Yes, with pink hearts!”

“Don’t spoil all the surprises!” Your voice calls out from the kitchen. Your little sister just giggles and hides her face in his hair.

Atsushi meets you at the kitchen door, your hair a mess and your face peppered with streaks of drying chocolate. 

You’re wearing an apron that says “Kiss the Cook” and he can’t help but follow that advice.

my Kofi if you want to tip me

[starlightshadowsworld]

I have a headcannon that a lot of the orphanage staff fought in the Great War. They were originally from other countries that were allied with Japan before settling down there.

And work in an orphanage because orphanage staff were in high demand after the war due to how many were orphaned because of it.

The Headmaster himself grew up during war times and I feel he’d open his doors to them.

They’re just as cruel as the native staff with the added bonus that they will speak their mother tongue. They do not care at all of the kids don’t know what they’re talking about.

‘I don’t understand’ is not a valid excuse. So the kids had to learn and adapt in order to not to be punished for ‘disobedience’ for not knowing other languages than Japanese.

This results in Atsushi being multilingual.

He doesn’t actually know it’s not a normal thing to be because everyone at the orphanage knew several languages outside of their mother tongue. It’s how you survived after all.

I can just imagine so Atsushi is confused when everyone’s trying to figure out Fitzgerald’s message.And he recites it almost perfectly to them.

Because we know European countries such as the UK and France were involved in the war. It stands to reason a number of the orphanage staff would be from European countries.

Hence Atsushi knowing English and well he’s not perfect, far from it. But he also spent at least a decade surrounded by and talking to native speakers. So he knows quite a lot, especially swear words because no one at that place knew how to talk kindly to children.

Especially Atsushi.

I like to think there’s a similar precedence for Yosano. Having to interact and treat soldiers aiding Japan that weren’t Japanese. I can see kid Yosano stubbornly refusing to give up and learned so she could better treat and comfort people.

Even if they’d end up screaming in her face like everyone else did.

So when Atsushi starts to think this is another thing that alienates him from everyone else, Yosano talks to him. She reassures him he’s not alone and knowing other languages helps you connect with people.

Yosano and the others especially Kunikida encourage Atsushi to learn more about the languages he knows. And Atsushi does, he and Yosano pick a language everyday to speak in to each other.

And yeah and their a bit out of practice but they get there. And Atsushi feels a sense of comfort in speaking more than one language, because that was his reality for years.

And this time there’s no punishment for getting things wrong.

To the point Atsushi managed to muster up the courage to talk with foreign clients during non serious cases. And they more often than not think it’s sweet, are happy to see someone try to speak their mother tongue and give him pointers.

Atsushi is able to talk and help people that are often forgotten by society, much like he himself was. And it makes him feel better about it, that he can use this knowledge to help people.

Although he would prefer if Dazai didn’t come to his desk everyday and badger him into teaching him Russian swears.

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Hiiiiiii! I hope you're well ! May I ask for a platonic and somewhat romantic headcanon about teenage soukoku with a partner (fem or GN if you prefer) a year younger than them and with a personality similar to Atsushi in the Beast light novels? If you don't want to do it or anything, ignore my request! And English is absolutely not the language I speak so I'm sorry if it's badly written or incomprehensible 😭 Take care and have a good day / evening! <3

Awe thank you I hope you have a good day/evening as well!

I'm gonna be really honest, I have not read the beast light novels so all of my knowledge of Atsushi's beast personality comes from me scanning his wiki page. I hope I portray readers personality correctly, but if I didn't I apologize. I hope you enjoy!

Teenage Chuuya and Dazai with a platonic reader who's like Beast Atsushi

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of suicide

Gn! Reader

-Wow, you managed to genuinely befriend these two? congratulations! (and good luck, you'll need it)

-Chuuya and Dazai are opposites in a lot of ways, and befriending you is no different. It takes awhile for Chuuya to even desire a friendship with you in the first place, but once you two begin to form a relationship he pretty quickly begins to admire you and subtly (it’s not subtle) try’s to get closer to you. On the other side of the coin, Dazai is very quick to “befriend” you (he’s getting a feel for you) but it takes a very long time for him to genuinely trust you

-I imagine Dazai’s the reason you begin talking with Chuuya in the first place, he probably forced you two to interact on a mission or dragged you to a bar to hang out

-Mori puts the three of you on missions often, mostly because you work well together but also because your all relatively the same age

-Chuuya will never tell you this but he thinks it’s really cool that you show no emotion when fighting or killing. It also scares him a little but again, he’s never gonna tell you that. Dazai thinks it’s hot (he needs severe help)

-You and Chuuya butt heads a lot, usually over petty things, but if you ever get into a serious argument it might take days to resolve. You most likely end up apologizing because of the guilt, but on rare occasion Chuuya will apologize first. He feels guilty too. Dazai sometimes try’s to intervene but if it’s too serious he lets you two work it out

-Dazai likes to take you out on little hangouts a lot, sometimes with Chuuya, sometimes just the two of you. He’s a cold bastard but he does enjoy your company now that he knows you better. He also sees a lot of himself in you, your both ruthless and cold hearted when it comes to getting the job done. He just hopes you aren’t completely hopeless like he is

-You’re very loyal to those two, and in turn they’re very loyal to you, you’ll never have to worry about them betraying you or turning their backs on you as long as you stay loyal to the port mafia

-You’re only a year younger than them, but they sometimes use that as an excuse to treat you like a child just to mess with you. They’ll coddle you and act like you can’t do anything on your own, but a good punch in the arm will get them to shut up

-You’ve most likely had to stop at least one of Dazai’s suicide attempts, and as a result he may make less attempts (or at least try it where you can’t find him) because he feels guilty that you have to see him like that

-Going off the loyalty thing, they’re both very protective of you, if anyone tries to hurt you they’re getting a bullet to the face. You’re pretty protective of them as well, which they think is sweet (until you rip someone’s head off)

-The three of you have become very close over time, and who knows? Maybe you three will become something more in the future ;)

[stuffeddeer]

just thought of the most rom-com scenario ever. reader is the new hire for the ADA and immediately off the bat, dazai is dazai. reader just takes it as the typical sense of humor and just laughs it off, thinking he’s not actually interested considering his many various ventures. eventually the two of them are assigned to missions quite often (with atsushi as a third wheel) and the two get along great in terms of humor, personality, work in the field… it boggles atsushi’s mind that the two of them aren’t at least going on ONE date. one night dazai tells him in a drunken stupor over the phone he has feelings for y/n but doesn’t want to ruin what they have. y/n ends up telling atsushi they don’t know what to do if they keep getting missions with dazai because one of these days they may slip up due to him just BEING there. he ends up confiding in both yosano and kunikida about it when the two are out of the office and they both just go “y/n and HIM??? anyone deserves better than THAT” but yosano means it in a more teasing way and kunikida means it in a serious way because. kunikida. thus begins a quest for atsushi; to bring the two together, and it drives him NUTS because the two both don’t think the other likes them. dazai assumes y/n would rather have interest in any other guy and y/n assumes dazai would rather have interest in any other person. this ends up with many funny scenarios such as:

1. atsushi leaving a note on dazai’s desk that reads “i want to talk to you in the hallway at __ time today.” and leaving an identical one on y/n’s desk so they can cross paths outside of working together and possibly start a convo and go somewhere. it backfired and the two just say “weird coincidence. everyone must’ve got this!” and wave bye

2. atsushi trying to subtly tell dazai y/ns favorite flower and he just says “oh, that’s great! are you getting them a birthday present early or something”

3. even kunikida being forced into trying to help by asking dazai if he is interested in hanging out with him and y/n (so he can pretend to end up being sick and it would just be dazai and y/n) and dazai saying “oh, is this some sort of elaborate scheme you’re planning on order to have a date with y/n and so it won’t be awkward with just the two of you? i’ll pretend to be sick when it happens for you!” LIKE GOD DAMM DAZAI STOP BEING INSECURE ITS YOU BOY?!

basically stuff like that goes on so much to the point where when the ADA is out celebrating a successful year of missions at a karaoke bar atsushi just yells out over the mic: “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH THIRD WHEELING HERE!!!!! Y/N AND DAZAI YOU BOTH likeeachother-“ and they’re just. WHAT

(SORRY FOR ALL THE TEXT LMFAO)

anon you literally wrote this for me idek what to say you’re so cool

Atsushi’s eyes widened. “What?! I can’t go on this mission, I have, um… an appointment.” Nailed it. “Dazai can take my place! He’s not doing anything right now.” Normally, Kunikida would have pointed out this obvious lie, but he remained quiet - pretty much everyone in the agency knew what he was up to.

Dazai actually was doing something for the first time in a while, but surely this mission was much more important. The brunet took off with you, headed out on an actually very unimportant mission you definitely could’ve taken care of on your own while Atsushi planned.

The tiger boy was quick to tell you and Dazai upon your return about tonight’s important karaoke celebration! And when you tried to weasel your way out of it, Yosano had practically dragged you down to the place. You were ushered next to Dazai as Atsushi and Yosano chose songs for everyone to sing. They said it was to make sure Dazai didn't pick something depressing or you would try to bail out again - this way, everyone had to go. But also... this way, you and Dazai would be stuck singing a romantic duet.

Of course, the two of you took it horribly wrong (in Atsushi's opinion), you both fully committing to the "joke song" Atsushi selected, wholly pretending in the moment. He'd wanted some romantic moment where you two realized you were destined to be together, but you both are just so stupid—

Atsushi had been up next, and was gripping the microphone tightly. He wasn't one to let his anger take over, but this was just getting ridiculous. As the opening notes played to the song he chose, he shouted out your deepest secret, and Dazai's as well.

You both like each other.

With slack jaws and wide eyes, every agency member stared at Atsushi in shock. He'd turned pink as he realized his mistake, muttering apologies as he placed the mic back down. Tense silence filled the air, the only sound being the scraping of Ranpo's spoon along the ceramic ice cream dish he'd ordered.

After a moment, Yosano started clapping. "Someone had to say it, and we all knew they wouldn't."

The rest of karaoke was horribly awkward for you and Dazai. You'd moved ever so slightly away from each other, completely embarrassed. What if Atsushi had just made up that Dazai likes you back? What if Atsushi had just made up that you like Dazai back? All either of you knew is that he had yelled out your biggest secret, and neither of you were too excited to sing anymore.

The lights had been turned on and everyone was gathering their things. It had been a fun night out, all things considered. Yosano got completely hammered and Ranpo couldn't direct his way home if his life were at stake, so Kunikida and Atsushi led the both of them back to their homes (with Kyouka right on Atsushi's tail). The Tanizaki siblings had left a bit before everyone for whatever their reasons were, so just you and Dazai were left standing outside the karaoke bar, awkwardly gazing out at the quiet city.

"So... tonight was different, huh?" You spoke anxiously, picking at a loose thread on your top.

"I didn't expect Ranpo to be that good a singer," Dazai replies with a polite smile.

You sighed. The last thing you wanted was for things to turn awkward between the two of you. "Listen, Dazai— "

"Do you want to walk home with me?" He cut you off.

You smiled softly, letting out a small chuckle. "Of course."

[frankenjoly]

"If I told you I liked you, would you finally get it?" + nikonathan

"If I asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?" + souheki

"You make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know." + tachigin

tasty *insert eyes emoji* soo have nikonathan with very oblivous nathaniel, fake dating... or not souheki and suggestive tachigin :3

nikonathan + “if i told you i liked you, would you finally get it?”

“If I told you I liked you, would you finally get it?”

There wasn’t a more direct way than that one, and yet, Nathaniel still managed to stare at him in evident confusion. As if Nikolai had just asked him to eat one of his shoes, tried to convince him eggs weren’t real or… whatever other ridiculous idea; it wasn’t funny to try and come up with other examples in a situation like that.

“Are you kidding me, Gogol?” Nathaniel then said, and laughing right then may be counterproductive, but fuck– it was either laughing or groaning. “Nevermind, of course you are.”

And: jackpot! Damn, that man was a totally open book more times than not.

“Oh, c’mon! If I wanted to pull a prank on you, I’d be way more creative than that! A fake confession is sooooo basic.” Nikolai answered, rolling his eyes. “It’s not even a ‘cheap comedian’ thing, it’s a ‘high-school jerk thinking they’re so funny’ thing. And lemme tell you, since you haven’t figured it out despite having tons of evidence pointing towards the opposite: I have wayyyy more style than that.”

“So… you were really trying to flirt with me?” Obvious surprise, as well as confusion, were written all over Hawthorne’s face.

“I mean, been for a while now, but thanks for noticing.”

souheki + “if i asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?”

“If I asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?” Naomi asked, and holding back laughter as Atsushi’s eyes went wide in shock was extremely difficult, but she somehow managed.

“What? I mean, you’re great, Naomi-san but…” He was about to start sweating, even, so she decided to spare him. Besides, Atsushi was a terrible liar, anyway.

“Relax! I just need a fake partner for the undercover stunt in this case and–”

“Didn’t Kunikida-kun say you couldn’t do it?” Ranpo then intervened. Well, damn. So that was where her chance to get involved in more detective-like work ended, apparently.

“Why can’t I have some fun every now and then?” She even pouted; it may not get her anywhere, but at least there would be an attempt.

“Oh, but you will.” Dazai also joined the conversation, clasping his hands together and offering her a big-ass smile. “We’ve been talking with Kunikida-kun, and managed to convince him. You’re welcome, by the way.” Without moving from his seat, likely because of a not so good leg pain day, he pulled off something similar to a theatrical bow. “We just gotta make some changes in the script, y’see? Ranpo-san and I are gonna be the lovey-dovey couple, and you, my darling lil’ sister.”

Naomi grinned from ear to ear.

“I can totally work with that. Now you better practice, if you don’t play your part well I’m gonna be very disappointed.” It was, obviously, a joke. And both Ranpo and Dazai knew it, there was no doubt… yet they stared at her with a look that clearly read as ‘challenge accepted’ or something akin to it.

“Oh, but we already know how to do that! Right, pookie?” Dazai said, holding onto Ranpo’s arm, who leaned in and pressed a brief kiss over Dazai’s cheek with utmost movie-like charm.

“Of course we do, babygirl.”

There had never been a doubt about how they would be amazingly good at that, but there was also the possibility they weren’t acting at all. And honestly? Naomi was down to see everything unfold either way.

tachigin + “you make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know.”

“You make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know.”

Gin’s first response to Tachihara saying that was merely tilting their head, not as much in confusion than as a way to nudge him into keeping on talking; she already had a hunch about where his boyfriend wanted to go with that.

“C’mon, Gin. After all the hints I’ve been givin’ through the whole thing I think it’s pretty clear, isn’t it?” He offered them a toothy grin, evidencing how he had caught on to her intentions and was indulging in the wordless suggestion to play a little before anything else. “Should I kneel and beg, then? ‘Cause I’ll do it gladly.” Not only was there no doubt he would, but Tachihara also proceeded to get down on his knees right after saying so, grasping the hem of Gin’s knee-length dress and looking up to meet their gaze with the most obvious intent in his eyes. “Please?”

Strictly speaking, there was no need for Tachihara to do that, but damn if Gin wasn’t enjoying it. In fact, the only reason they took a moment before replying was so she could check with a quick glance if the door of the room they had sneaked into had been properly closed; ditching the party to have privacy wasn’t uncommon, but someone else may have to try and claim that same spot if not.

Then, once making sure there wouldn’t be any chance for interruptions, she nodded, unclasping one of Tachihara’s hands to entwine it with theirs.

“By all means, go on.”

“My pleasure.” Instead of getting up, though, Tachihara lifted the hand still grabbing the cloth a little. And after the dress’ skirt was out of the way, he started peppering Gin’s thighs with kisses.

(Also on ao3.)

[kauenelikha]

Dazai Birthday Week, Day 4

Aaah I got sick and I couldn't function and now I wrote this in under an hour because I had to participate in @dazaibirthdayweek2024

Prompt: Mentorship

Characters: Dazai and Atsushi (not romantic)

Warnings: Atsushi typical terrible self worth, angst

Enjoy!!!!!

“I don’t deserve to live, Dazai-san, I don’t, I don’t.”

Dazai’s not suited for this. Anyone else would do a better job than him.

“Why am I even breathing? I shouldn’t be allowed to breathe.” Atsushi is gasping, air not reaching his lungs, hands trembling between both of them where they’re knelt on the ground. 

The half mangled bodies of their targets are being carted out of the warehouse. Police sirens blare, shrill and headache inducing. Dazai has brought them behind the warehouse, to get Atsushi away from the suffocating darkness.  

They’re not dead. They could’ve endured much worse and survived.

“I don’t Dazai-san, I- I- No, Dazai-san, I don’t have permission I can’t, I can’t.”

The enemy ability user’s shield faltered under their attacks, the Agency having overestimated their strength, Atsushi their spearhead as he often is.

What could human flesh do against claws that rip through abilities?

Dazai tries to shush him but to his horror a teary sob wrenches its way out of the boy’s throat.

It was Dazai’s plan, and it’s Dazai’s fault but Atsushi is in no state to see that. There’s blood drying on his hands and words tumbling out his mouth and each one sends a stab at his heart.

Anyone would be better. But Kunikida is out handling the police and no one else came with them. 

Atsushi’s eyes are glazing over and he doesn’t have time. What would ground him? He hasn’t responded to anything Dazai’s said. He’s aware at least that Dazai is here with him. Pain or shouting are out of the question. No, those would only send him spiralling further.

Simple touch?

It’s worth trying. Atsushi does not expect harsh touches from him. He's always leaned into the softer ones, subtle and unconscious like if he acknowledged it the touch would go away. It has him thinking of another boy, dark hair with white tips. Any physical contact they shared were blows and nullifying taps and he was never one for physical affection but that boy would never expect soft touches from him would he? 

Atsushi's hands have found his hair, tugging and digging. His muttering has turned feverish, he's looking down not talking to Dazai anymore. He acts before the boy's completely lost to his head, he can think about everything later.

He coaxes Atsushi's hands away from his hair, letting them clutch onto his own hand. They still shake, tremors he tries to soothe with gentle strokes. He’s crying now, words unable to make it out of his mouth.

“Atsushi-kun,” he chides and his voice sounds so fond he’d feel sick in any other circumstance. He raises his other hand to wipe the tears mingling with the blood on his face. “That’s no way to talk about yourself.”

He leans into the contact but gives no indication of having heard him.

Dazai feels sick. His hands forever stained with blood, cupping his face with such care when his presence alone should be far far away from someone as pure as Atsushi. His blood infected with Mafia Black shouldn’t be so close to the boy’s skin. Someone who cares so much, cries so freely for these people he doesn’t know, who believes he has to prove himself worthy of being alive.

But he’s all that’s here.

“It’s rather silly isn’t it? Being allowed to live. No one dictates that, it’s only what you wish.”

Atsushi shakes his head, again with the same desperation he uttered those terrible words. “But I’m not. Not until I– No no no no, I’m trying, I’m trying why can’t you see why can’t you see?”

And Dazai knows he’s lost him. He’s addressing someone else entirely, grip on Dazai’s hand crushing, eyes looking beyond him.

So he leans against the wall, pulling Atsushi with him to lie against his front. He wraps his arms around him, one hand carding through his hair the other around his torso. 

The shaking has stopped and that counts for something. Though it’s replaced with chest heaving sobs, his face buried in Dazai’s shoulder, hands clutching his trenchcoat.

Anybody else would’ve been better.

He thinks of Akutagwa and he doesn’t know why his thoughts are straying. He never hugged him like this. Showing such vulnerability would be a weakness. Weakness that Dazai would exploit then and there to teach him a lesson. To never forget and never make that mistake again. After all, weakness in the mafia meant death.

The light is kinder. It lets Atsushi break down with no consequence. It lets Dazai be here, to help pick him up later, build him back up.

The light is kinder. 

Dazai holds him just a little tighter.

There’s another shuddering sob from Atsushi and then in a voice so quiet and small it aches, he says, “I want to live.”

“You will,” Dazai vows. “You will Atsushi-kun. You’ll grow old and get wrinkles and back pain, you’ll get married to someone who loves you. I’ll make sure of it.” 

His fingers tighten in the other’s shirt. His words fall on deaf ears.

Atsushi’s cries die out. He falls asleep soon after.

Kunikida finds them like that, Dazai’s gaze dark, nose buried in the boy’s hair.

Anybody would’ve been better.

[play-rough]

I’m the anon that suggested the idea of lil’ Ranpo and Atsushi using Babyzai as a prop when they play pretend, and I’d like to share another idea I have about the terrible tots because I love them 😾

When in headspace, Atsushi and Ranpo will treat Dazai as their baby brother, regardless of whether he’s little or not. I think it’s both affirming for him that the other littles are so completely accepting, but mostly it’s annoying (and not to mention embarrassing!) that they’re so adamant on babying him, despite being the babies (a 5 and 3-4 yo) themselves.

Atsushi I think would be more quietly affectionate, just hugging him and leaning against him, maybe even patting his cheek in a clumsy toddlerish way. Dazai would probably be more ok with this given that it’s easier to pretend that Atsushi’s going to -him- for affection and comfort, rather than being on the receiving end of it himself. He doesn’t even realise that’s what’s happening the first few times, until Atsushi refers to him simply as ‘the baby’ one day.

Ranpo however, is a whole other beast. He is assertive (bossy) and determined (stubborn) to boot and as the big brother, what he says goes. He’ll order Dazai around, scold others if he thinks the baby’s been working too hard, and he’s not afraid to pull Dazai away from whatever it is he’s doing because ‘he’s just a baby and doesn’t know any better’. One day he decided that it’s absolutely unacceptable that Dazai didn’t have his pacifier and the fall out had Dazai in a separate room entirely to calm down. At the very least, Ranpo never tried that specific thing again.

Anyway, sorry bout the overindulgent rant. I’m a big fan of the idea of other littles recognising that Dazai’s baby, and needs to be protected at all costs, but in the most chaotic way imaginable. Peace and love to you, you’re incredibly talented 🫂

I love all of this so much I’m printing it out and folding it up and putting it under my pillow to go to sleep 😭🩵

I especially love bossy Ranpo he’s so cute haha, he would definitely insist Dazai needs to take breaks or eat snacks. Especially since Ranpo and Atsushi tend to spend more willing time in headspace, they definitely notice Dazai’s reservations and try to encourage him in their own ways 😭

I love the idea of other littles recognizing that babyzai needs encouragement and help 🥺🩵 anon I love your headcanons and if you want to send in more about The Pacifier Incident im here to listen 😭🩵

[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapter 4

Shinsoukoku's first encounter

[Masterpost]

We begin in the middle of Atsushi’s first encounter with Akutagawa, and Higuchi starts shooting at Atsushi and Tanizaki, but Naomi shields her brother.

Now I didn’t really talk about the Tanizaki siblings in the last post partially because I was focused on Akutagawa’s introduction and partially because they’re fucking weird and I try not to think about them too often. That being said, they’re relevant now so I guess I gotta talk about these two people who I hope are not genuinely siblings and just have an incest fetish — which I will specify is still not great, but at least its better than them literally being siblings!

Anyway, I mention the incest thing because… well, it’s absurd. Everyone who is not the two in question is made pretty uncomfortable by it, and even though its played for comedy most of the time, for both Naomi and Tanizaki, their affection for one another spurs them to take action in an absurdist way. 

Naomi, despite not being the ability user of the pair, takes the bullets. Although we know as people who have read BSD that she does this likely knowing that Yosano will be able to heal her, there’s no guarantee of that, and a first-time reader definitely wouldn’t know that. To the reader and even to Akutagawa and Higuchi, Naomi stepped in during a seemingly hopeless situation, even though her actions were likely to only temporarily help. 

Luckily, Tanizaki uses his ability against Higuchi until Akutagawa steps in and easily takes him down. 

Then, we’re left with Akutagawa and Atsushi alone (after Akutagawa slaps Higuchi across the face… not one of his better moments).

For all intents and purposes, Atsushi should have no chance right now. He doesn’t really know how to use his ability, Tanizaki and Naomi are both down and Akutagawa is set up as this ruthless, dangerous, and basically unstoppable force. 

Akutagawa begins the interaction by claiming that Atsushi just hurts everyone around him, sending the latter into an anxious spiral until Tanizaki tries to tell him to run, alerting him to the fact that he and Naomi are still alive and cementing his determination.

At this point in the story, Atsushi only lives for other people, not himself, and this will be his driving force for a while, though his experiences will eventually begin to undo that mentality. It is after this that he decides to fight back against Akutagawa, despite the odds. 

Akutagawa even kind of calls him out on his absurdist behavior, having full knowledge of his own reputation and skills and the apparent likelihood that he would succeed over Atsushi. “Dying for justice…? How cliché,” he says disdainfully.

Atsushi steals his gun and then tries to fire at Akutagawa, but then he reveals that Rashoumon can protect him from bullets and dismembers Atsushi’s leg. Once again, we’re put in a position where it feels pretty much impossible for Atsushi to win, and he is launched into a flashback from his time at the orphanage. He reflects on the fact that he’s been spurned since birth, but even so he continues to fight back. 

So, despite being terrified of his own ability and its potential to hurt other people, Atsushi makes use of it in this moment in order to rebel.

And that’s what absurdity is all about, the act of revolt against what is unfair in life. Atsushi having to face Akutagawa as an opponent right now is wild, for all the reasons I stated earlier, but because Atsushi refuses to give in and accept his own death (even if its because he wants to protect other people rather than himself), he is able to protect himself long enough for Tanizaki and Dazai to stop the fight, and he survives. 

Dazai reveals that his absurdly forward flirtatious behavior from the prior chapter actually enabled him to plant a bug on Higuchi, implying that she suspected her from the very beginning. Higuchi argues that the Port Mafia will decimate the Armed Detective Agency if they don’t hand over Atsushi, emphasizing how large the mafia is and how much control they’ve got. I’ll I will say about this for now is that basically this won’t happen because the agency continues to survive and succeed through the power of absurdism, basically. 

Oh, also? Dazai is revealed to be a defected member of the Port Mafia! But I’ve already talked about his defection and Oda, so I don’t feel the need to reiterate all of that, I just wanted to note that this is when this fact is revealed, and it’s revealed by Akutagawa. I will talk more about Akutagawa’s obsession with Dazai when it becomes more directly relevant. 

That’s the conclusion of this chapter! I do want to mention that going forward Atsushi and Akutagawa’s relationship is going to become increasingly important because they’re essentially the conflict of an absurdist versus a nihilist, and we certainly see the foundations of it in these first few chapters.

[Previous] [Next]

[zukkaoru]

OKAY BABES *rubs hands together*

lucy & gin + 10

gin & tachi + 23

ultralemon + 35

platonic yosano & naomi or kyouka + 4

hiii beloved <333

lucygin + a kiss along the jawline

Gin is half-asleep, sprawled on top of Lucy as a movie plays on the TV, when the apartment door opens slowly. Lucy perks up, her fingers stilling where they had been carding through Gin’s hair. She knows she has every right to be here—Gin invited her over, and they said their brother was aware. But she still braces herself for a scolding.

Akutagawa steps into the room, and he immediately levels Lucy with a glare. She stares back, because she isn’t going to let herself be intimidated into submission even though she would like her partner’s brother to at least sort of like her. Just because it would make things easier.

Gin stirs, lifting their head slightly. They don’t say anything, but Akutagawa’s gaze drops to look at them. After a moment, as if in response to something Lucy couldn’t hear, he sighs and says, “Very well. Goodnight.”

Then, he turns and trudges away.

Lucy frowns to herself. But before she can dwell on it for too long, Gin adjusts their position. They cup Lucy’s cheek with one hand, then raise their head to place a gentle kiss to her jaw. “Ignore him,” they mumble. “He’s just jealous.”

Lucy giggles. “He still hasn’t made a move on the tiger kitty yet?”

Gin groans, dropping their head back onto Lucy’s stomach. “At this point, I think I need to start focusing my efforts on getting Atsushi-kun to confess. Ryuu is too emotionally constipated to come anywhere close to a confession.”

-

tachigin + a kiss influenced by alcohol

They’re celebrating a mission well done at a mafia-owned bar, because technically neither of them are of legal drinking age, but Gin knows more people who have drank underage than ones who haven’t and laws like that seem trivial when you kill people for a living. Tachihara is on his fourth drink, but he seems to be doing better than Gin is after only two.

Hirotsu and Higuchi both left at some point, leaving Gin alone with Tachihara. Perhaps not the best idea, considering how far they both are from home and the fact that they live in opposite directions, but they can worry about that problem when the time comes.

For now, Gin is glad to sink into the floaty feeling seeping into their bones as a third drink is set in front of them. It’s bright red, reminiscent of blood in the lowlight of the bar, and it’s syrupy sweet at first. The sweetness is followed by a bitter aftertaste, strong alcohol flushing out everything else, and Gin nearly gags on it.

They keep drinking, though.

They stay in the bar with Tachihara until it closes and they’re promptly kicked out. Tachihara shouts a thank you to the bartender over his shoulder as they stumble out into the cool night. The entire world looks as if its been submerged in water, and Gin reaches up towards a streetlight as if it’s a star they could hold in their hands.

Everything looks beautiful like this. Wavy and magical.

Tachihara looks beautiful, too.

It isn’t new information, but Gin’s breath catches in their throat when they look at him. Golden eyes illuminated by earthly starlight, like molten lava Gin wishes they could submerge themself in.

“Gin?” He asks, tilting his head and offering them a goofy smile. “You’re really pretty, you know. You’re like a magnet.”

Gin furrows their eyebrows. “A magnet?”

Tachihara nods, but he doesn’t elaborate. He steps closer, placing his hands on Gin’s shoulders. The warmth of his eyes spills over onto Gin, and they think maybe they know what Tachihara meant by his magnet comment. Gin couldn’t pull away from him right now even if they wanted to. It’s like there’s an invisible force tugging them together.

They reach up to his face, placing a palm against his cheek. His skin is so warm. Gin wants to burrow into him and fall asleep there for a little while.

Instead, they push themself up onto their toes and press their lips to Tachihara’s. His lips part in surprise, so Gin slips their tongue between them. Something in the back of their mind screams at them to run, reminds them that they will regret this in the morning when their thoughts have cleared. But then Tachihara kisses back, wrapping his arms around them and pressing their body flush against his, and every other thought immediately dissipates.

-

ultra lemon + a kiss against a wall

Ranpo’s back hits the wall with a harsh thud. They hardly have even a moment to grin to themself before Kajii’s lips are on theirs, biting down hard enough to break skin. The sour tang of his lemon-y drink lingers on his tongue, mixing with the coppery blood spilling from Ranpo’s split lip.

Ranpo groans into the kiss, throwing their arms around Kajii’s neck in an attempt to drag him even closer. The bricks of the building they’re pressed up against dig uncomfortably into Ranpo’s back, but the heightened adrenaline does wonders transform the pain into some twisted sort of pleasure. They want more, more, more—

Kajii fits one of his legs between Ranpo’s, then pulls back, a trail of spit still connecting their lips. Ranpo stares at it. Everything is so hot.

“What do you want from this?” Kajii asks, just breathy enough that Ranpo can tell it’s taking every ounce of self-control he has to not dive right back in for another kiss.

“Same thing as you.” Ranpo lets his eyes fall shut. “Now kiss me again before I change my mind.”

Kajii obliges without hesitation.

-

yosano & kyouka + a kiss to the top of the head

Kyouka grimaces as Yosano sets her down in the infirmary bed. She hasn’t said a word since she and Atsushi returned to the Agency office, Kyouka cradled in his arms and clutching a wound in her side. Her eyes were wide and wet when Atsushi passed her over, but no tears have fallen.

Yosano brushes her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. One of her hair ties must have snapped during the fight, because half of her hair is hanging loose. “I’m going to have to look at the injury, okay?”

Kyouka’s reaction is a moment delayed, but she nods and moves her hands aside. Both palms are covered in dark red blood. Yosano winces at the sight. She knows firsthand that such injuries aren’t fun. The easiest solution for this will be to use her ability, but she doesn’t particularly enjoy doing so on Kyouka.

Yosano’s treatments are harsh because it is the only way to ensure her patients do not lose sight of the value of life. Miraculous healing cannot come without consequences, or the price will be one’s own mind.

But Kyouka understands the preciousness of life—both her own and others—in a way many of the others at the Agency do not. And when Yosano meets her gaze, fear shines brightly in her eyes.

Yosano sighs. “Don’t tell the others, but I’m going to give you anesthesia before I treat you. Is that okay?”

Kyouka hesitates, then nods again.

Yosano grabs a towel and presses it over the wound. “Can you hold this in place?”

Kyouka’s hands take the place of Yosano’s, helping to staunch the bleeding. Yosano leans forward and places a soft kiss to the top of Kyouka’s head. “I’ll be back in a moment. Just hold on for a little longer.”

[anti-dazai-blog]

opinions on Atsushi and Fukuchi ? BTW feel free to ignore this ask, since ik you're primarily a Dazai analysis blog. Idk, I feel like the concept of Atsushi as a character had AMAZING potential, but somehow he's given (imo) less fleshing - out than Dazai and the others. The other characters get interesting little quirks and opinions, Atsushi gets none. I just wish BSD would develop its protagonist better. I really wanna like Atsushi but he's just written so MEH at times.

Oh and, why do you think Atsushi was chosen as the protagonist? No, I'm not saying any other character would make a better one. But I'm curious about Atsushi's significance to the story's themes. For example, do you think Sigma, Ango, Akutagawa or Yosano could have been the protag instead ? They tend to fit the common protag archetypes more I guess.

Also I see a lot of fandom gate for Fukuchi, which I think is dumb because a former nationalist getting PTSD from the atrocities he committed for his country, and then vowing to destroy the concept of national boundaries, is awesome and metal as fuck. Yeah of course Asagiri gives him that dumb flatulence schtick and some loony OP gimmicks cuz burnout / anime idiosyncrasies, but he's a character who deserves much more appreciation cuz he's so INTERESTING. I'm not saying he's a poor meow meow. He's morally grey but he makes some valid points, and he's a great exploration of fascism, guilt and the dark side of man - made boundaries.

As far as I could tell, Atsushi is actually the standard protagonist archetype for his genre. He’s a filled-in blueprint of what a fantasy protagonist usually is. 

The basic formula for a fantasy genre protagonist is, first and foremost; somebody who’s an outsider. Someone who’s unfamiliar with how the magic system works, so that the story has an excuse to explain it to them—and through that, explain it to the audience, who are outsiders to the magical system as well. 

The second step to the make-a-protagonist formula is to make them bland—or at least bland relative to the characters they’re surrounded by. You want the audience to be able to project themselves onto the protagonist, so making them overly-gimmicky or with too much of a unique personality may turn people away. You want them to be someone the audience could picture themselves as. You want them to have the highest possible relatability. Atsushi’s the guy with the fewest gimmicks, so. He’d be the LOP of the show. Least Objectionable Protagonist. (yeah I do think I’m funny and I’m hoping all media students find me funny as well) (I’m leaving this joke in for the one person who gets it and finds it funny)

Step three is to make them overpowered. It doesn’t have to be overpowered by that world’s power standards, but they have to have a surefire way to succeed often, and to be potentially seen as a threat by others (<-that’s the thing that usually makes conflict happen). They often start out rather weak so that they have room to learn and grow, but it becomes apparent quickly that they could potentially be the strongest once they learn how to use their abilities properly.

Atsushi checks all these boxes perfectly.

All other BSD characters don’t fit into that mold. Atsushi didn’t know about abilities and didn’t know about the agency/mafia/guild, and so it all had to be explain to him (and simultaneously, to us). All characters listed other than Sigma would be disqualified from the start, for being within these systems from a much younger age and therefore unable to learn about them for the first time during the course of the show (and age is a pretty common factor in the Blueprint for Fantasy Protagonists too). 

As for Sigma, I’m not saying he’s designed to be similar to Atsushi, but. If the mangaka decided to explicitly have characters in canon say “hey you remind me of my coworker,” then who am I to argue with that. Sigma was designed to resemble Atsushi (in personality, at least). He was designed to have a convenient ability to be used when needed. I have no doubt that he’ll be returning to the story, on the basis that his ability is too convenient to lose. But a guy designed to resemble the story’s protagonist is not the most likely candidate for the protagonist role. 

Funnily enough, we do get to see what other BSD characters would be like in the role of protagonist thanks to the light novels. Ranpo/Fukuzawa, Chuuya, Dazai, etc. etc. have all had their chance to be in the spotlight. But notice how their quirks from the main series have been toned down through rationalizing them via a first person POV—in 15, we don’t view Chuuya as short tempered or easily annoyable because we see what’s really going on—he’s working towards his own goal on the side. So when Dazai goads him into a stupid bet, we don’t see him as easily-provokable for accepting, but rather someone who’s trying to figure out how much this mafia guy really knows about the case they’re working on—the one where, as we later find out, he has a personal connection to. 

And with this added insight into the thought behind his actions, we can see him as a rational and cautious person—cancelling out his seemingly impulsive actions, and taking away his primary “gimmick.” 

Removing a gimmick turns a character from a caricature to a human, and as audience members, we’d love to see humanized versions of all the characters—but for the writer, the gimmicks make them stand out and differentiate them from each other. Now that we’re so much farther into the story, both us and Asagiri know all the characters much better now, and there’s definitely a higher chance of characters becoming more humanized in the future (note how a few characters have lost their gimmicks as the story progressed—Dazai became less focused on suicide, Ranpo became more competent and willing to do his job..). So I have high hopes that, while we probably will continue BSD with Atsushi getting meh character development, we will most likely see a few more light novels with other fan-favorites in the protagonist role.

NOW onto Fukuchi.

Fukuchi doesn’t deserve the hate he gets. His entire character is very Fullmetal Alchemist-esque. And we all love Fullmetal Alchemist. I truly don’t understand why we love the cast of FMAB and understand the story it’s trying to tell, but cannot understand Fukuchi. Yes, sometimes people go to war. And sometimes people to awful, horrible things. And then come to regret it. And want to make a change, and want to fix things, no matter what the cost may be. Why can we all root for Roy Mustang but draw the line at Fukuchi. Is the primary difference that Fukuchi is more powerful and therefore capable of and the cause of more destruction? Is it because Roy is a 20-something year old attractive guy and Fukuchi is an old man? Who knows, I think Roy with Fukuchi’s level of power might have been about the same as him.  

But why fandom circles choose to hate specific characters will always be a mystery to me. (even I, a professional hater, am baffled by a lot of what I see here)

Regardless, this is longer than I intended it to be. I hope I covered the topics properly, thanks for the ask!!

[giggly-squiggily]

Boo! Now I need a fic about Atsushi and Akatagawa calling each other by their first name for the VERY first time. How blushy the two would be and how vulnerable it’ll make them feel. In that exact moment they realize that they’re in love with one another

I know this wasn't a request but my god friend YOUR MIND-

~~~~~~~

"Hey, Akutagawa?" Atsushi looked up from his meal, brows furrowing in thought. "We've been friends for some time now."

"Friends isn't the right word." Akutagawa replied dryly, earning a pinch to the bicep. "Ouch! Fine, fine. We're....ech, friends." He cringed at the word as if it physically hurt him to say it. "What about it?"

"Such a drama queen." Atsushi rolled his eyes, used to it. "Anyway- we've been friends for awhile now- yet we still call each other by our last names. Or at least- I do." Akutagawa often referred to him by various nicknames ranging from "Weretiger", "Brat", and "You!".

"I call you by your last name." Akutagawa countered, flushing some when Atsushi raised a brow. "Weretiger rolls off the tongue easier- what's your point?"

"My point is, why don't we call each other by our first names? After everything we've been through- I think formalities can be pushed aside." Atsushi sipped the broth of his tea over rice, raising his brows at Akutagawa who sat in thought. "You can go first if you want."

"This is foolish. A complete waste of time." Akutagawa looked away, tsking. Atsushi smirked.

"Ah. You're too shy, huh?" Akutagawa stiffened. Got him. "It's okay- I get it. You've always been shy, Aku~"

"Who the hell are you calling shy, Weretiger?" The brunette turned a scary look towards him. "I'm not shy."

"You can't even say my real name." Atsushi teased, reaching out to poke the other's side. "So cute~ A shy Aku! What would Dazai think when I tell him?" He was absolutely digging his own grave- he could see Rashomon starting to pop out- the only thing holding it back was the fact they were in a restaurant. "I bet he'd tell me all kinds of stories about you!"

"Don't you dare, Were-Nakajima." Akutagawa stumbled, catching the other's hand when he tried to poke him again. "Fine...what is it?"

"Atsushi. Just like that!" Atsushi nodded, his heart racing with anticipation. Even though he was the one to bring it up, the idea of hearing his name on Akutagawa's soft tone made him all kinds of nervous.

"Okay..." Akutagawa cleared his throat. "Mines Ryunosuke. Though I suspect you already knew that." He was stalling- fumbling with the cuffs of his sleeves. Atsushi found it endearing. "It's a mouthful, I'm aware. Ryu's fine."

"Okay...Ryunosuke." Atsushi put on his best smile, acting casually as if he hadn't been practicing for this moment all week long. The reaction was better than he expected.

"H-Huh?" Akutagawa flushed a brilliant red, eyes widening at hearing his name. His expression was one of absolute shock, but also something...warm. Before the weretiger could place it, Akutagawa twisted towards the table, ducking into his collar in embarrassment.

"N-Not fair, Weretiger! I wasn't...I wasn't prepared." He grumbled, earning a snort from the other.

"Sorry. I'll warn you next time." A lie and they both knew it. Atsushi turned back to his remaining rice, feeling a little bad. He doubted Akutagawa would return the favor now. He probably shouldn't have been so teasy.

"Tch, I don't need a warning...Atsushi." The last part- his first name on Akutagawa's lips was almost a whisper. Still- the effect was all the same. Atsushi shivered, a full body reaction from the tips of his toes to the back of his neck. His heart raced rapidly in his chest, and he could feel his face heat up to an impressive shade of red.

That...that was better than he expected. He dared a peek at the other, finding Akutagawa watching him. When their eyes met, both men flushed bright red and averted their gazes, staring at their respective meals.

'Oh my god.' Atsushi thought to himself, the reality of what he was feeling hitting him like a ton of bricks. 'I'm in love with him.'

He was in love with Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Holy shit.

~~~~

Thanks for reading! And thank you so much for sharing this with me! I love them so much, your honor 🥺

[scriveyner]

southern air 2/4

southern air | 2/4 | bungou stray dogs | 👿🐯 | sskk² | rated M | ~3.6k

Atsushi woke when the bed jostled and Akutagawa muttered dangerously, “that better not be a foot on my face.” The bed jostled again a few more times and then there was a whuff and the patter of feet running around the length of the bed. Without lifting his head from the pillow Atsushi stared at Acchan, caught in the act of trying to retrieve the remote control.

Acchan blinked bright violet and gold eyes, said, “good morning!” and absconded with the remote.

Contiune on AO3 or:

Atsushi closed his eyes and sighed as he heard the television click on and the volume immediately turn down. “At least it’s daylight?” he offered, as Akutagawa groaned beside him. “Could be worse.”

He heard Akutagawa thwack his hand off the nightstand between the two beds before finally locating his phone. Judging by the slant of the light coming in through the balcony doors Atsushi pegged it as after five a.m. Akutagawa said, surprised, “it’s almost seven. They actually did let us sleep in.”

Atsushi sat up and yawned. Acchan and Ryuu-chan had parked themselves on the floor, necks craned up to the television…and between them there were probably a dozen or so half-eaten pastries. Atsushi stared at the pile of food.

“Where did you get those?”

“The lobby,” Ryuu-chan said. “I made niisan stay at the door so I could get back in, I couldn’t find the key.”

The key to the room was, of course, in Atsushi’s wallet, but it seemed like the kids didn’t know that. He flopped backward in the bed, face covered with both hands, and Akutagawa made a rough-sounding noise that might have been amusement if he was more awake. “I made tea,” Ryuu-chan added helpfully.

“I helped,” Acchan said.

“You did not. You just ate six donuts.”

“I can eat donuts and help at the same time!”

Now Akutagawa stared at the remaining pile of sweets between them with some distress. “Six?” he said. Acchan was about to take a bite out of what would have been his seventh donut and Akutagawa said, “Nakajima Atsushi if you put that in your mouth you are staying in this room for the entire day. No more sweets!”

There was a clear moment of indecision on Acchan’s part, looking longingly at the donut, but he eventually put it back down.

“We are going to have a proper breakfast,” Akutagawa hissed. “Those sweets better be gone by the time I am out of the bathroom and not down your gullet.”

Acchan and Ryuu-chan watched Akutagawa storm off into the bathroom, and then their heads turned on an identical swivel toward Atsushi. “You heard him,” Atsushi said, still more amused than not and sitting upright again, elbows on his knees.

By the time Akutagawa emerged from the bathroom the sweets were, in fact, gone and not consumed by either Ryuu-chan or Acchan. Atsushi licked his fingers and tried to look innocent when Akutagawa glared at him too. “They’re gone, aren’t they?” he remarked, and noted the ripple of red energy along Akutagawa’s shoulders. “Ah, let’s go get breakfast, hm?”

“Breakfast!” Acchan shouted enthusiastically, throwing his hands into the air.

=====

 Akutagawa sat on the large blanket spread out over the sand, leaned back on his hands, and watched his idiot sons smack their heads into each other again. They were wearing the brightly colored plastic buckets that came out of a cheap kit for sandcastle building, but instead of using it for its intended purpose Acchan had immediately slapped the bucket on his head, handle under his chin. Ryuu-chan had followed suit, the bucket slightly too big for his own head, slipping down over his eyes.

Atsushi doubled over on his side in laughter as they ran at each other, slowed, and bonked their heads together like baby rams.

“I was never that stupid,” Akutagawa said. “How. Why. They are going to hurt themselves.”

“They’re fine,” Atsushi sat up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “It’s fine, it’s—” Another hollow thonk sent Acchan over backward, tail spouting as he tried to find his balance. “Tail!” Atsushi called, and when Acchan sat up, pushing the bucket askew on his head the tail was already gone.

Ryuu-chan held his plastic shovel aloft, posing in his victory.

“Can you please, just,” Akutagawa sighed, and Atsushi, still laughing stood from the blanket.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough, you’re stressing your father out,” he said, tugging on the bucket still on Ryuu-chan’s head. “Let’s get to work on that sandcastle instead of trying for brain damage today.”

After Acchan knocked over the third wall in his haste trying to help, Akutagawa finally ventured out from under the umbrella to join them, wearing a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses. He sat in the sand opposite Ryuu-chan and started patting sand into place, while Atsushi took Acchan out of the danger zone and started tossing a frisbee with him.

“There’s another lady talking to dad,” Ryuu-chan reported, while Akutagawa used a small Rashomon tendril to sculpt some detail work into the wall they’d been building. He looked down the beach where Atsushi was standing, holding the frisbee like a barrier between him and a very attractive bikini-clad woman. “He sure is popular!”

“Sure is,” Akutagawa said mildly, eyes glittering behind his sunglasses. As if he felt Akutagawa’s eyes on him, Atsushi turned and waved, and the woman turned to look in their direction and scowled. “He is very popular with the ladies today.”

Ryuu-chan turned the bucket full of sand over and patted the bottom before lifting it. “Why?”

Akutagawa let out a soft, amused noise. Acchan had grown tired of waiting on Atsushi to throw the frisbee again and went running to him. Atsushi caught him under one arm, using him as the perfect excuse to escape. He hoisted Acchan effortlessly onto one shoulder, knocking his own sunglasses askew, and even from here Atsushi could see the fur and tiger stripes rippling up his arms.

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Akutagawa said finally, completely distracted.

“Chuuya-oji says that a lot too,” Ryuu-chan said, mostly complaining to himself. “I’m almost seven. I’m older!”

“Who wants to swim?” Atsushi yelled toward the blanket, and Ryuu-chan stood up quickly, accidentally knocking over his bucket-shaped sand creation. He went running over to Atsushi, who carried Acchan toward the water and heaved him into the surf, where he disappeared for a second before resurfacing and shouting with excitement.

Akutagawa remained seated, crouched in the sand by the half-finished castle, and just watched them play. Ryuu-chan splashed around in knee-deep water, cautious of the waves, but Atsushi held Acchan on his shoulders and fell backward into the large swells before surfacing, laughing the entire time.

“My turn, my turn!” Ryuu-chan yelled. Acchan came running back up to the blanket, dripping wet, to catch Akutagawa by the arm.

“Come on, dad,” he whined. “Come swimming with us!”

Akutagawa let himself be pulled to his feet by two small, insistent tiger-striped arms. “Tail is out,” he reminded Acchan, and Acchan huffed in annoyance but the tail disappeared, at least for the moment. “No abilities in public.”

“Dad keeps doing it!”

“And he will be scolded for it accordingly.” Akutagawa didn’t particularly care for swimming, but he could stand in the warm ocean water and let it hit his legs while Acchan splashed around him, digging his feet and hands into the soft, damp sand. Ryuu-chan was clinging to Atsushi’s back while he swam with impressively long, sure strokes.

Acchan wandered slightly out of the water, admonishment already forgotten as his tail was out again while he scooped sand with two paws, intent on something. Akutagawa only kept half an eye on him, watching Atsushi swim instead until Acchan yelped and made a noise like a dog that had been stepped on. “OW! Ow ow ow ow—!”

There was a small, angry crab attached to his hand. Acchan shook his arm violently, trying to fling it off; Akutagawa waded over, catching his flailing arm without getting smacked and using Rashomon to pry the pinchers open and then fling the crustacean back into the water. “Owwww,” Acchan sniffled, as Akutagawa inspected the damage.

“What happened?” Atsushi called, attracted by the commotion. Ryuu-chan came running over, and when Akutagawa glanced back toward Atsushi he was momentarily distracted by Atsushi coming out of the water.

“Crab attack,” Akutagawa said, as Atsushi crouched next to Acchan.

“Where’s the crab?” Ryuu-chan asked, looking around with a familiar, dangerous glint in his eye.

“It’s already gone, I threw it in the water, leave it alone,” Akutagawa told him. Atsushi patted Acchan’s head sympathetically. “Just a bit painful, no permanent damage,” he added.

“Seems like a good time to break for lunch,” Atsushi said, and Akutagawa nodded.

“I agree.” He took Acchan’s wounded paw and kissed his fingers gently. “That helps them feel better, doesn’t it?”

Acchan snuffled tearfully and nodded, grabbing onto Ryuu-chan’s hooded shirt as they all made their way back to the blanket.

=====

The kids took a nap under the umbrella, sleeping contentedly with full bellies. Atsushi too, dozed a bit, lying in just his swim trunks on a towel in the sun. Akutagawa was surprised he hadn’t sprouted his tail and started to purr, the way he was luxuriating in the sunlight; but at least it gave him a good excuse to ogle.

“We should wake them soon,” Atsushi said, and Akutagawa realized he wasn’t sleeping at all. “We want them to actually sleep tonight.”

“Mm.” Akutagawa glanced over at them—Acchan was sleeping star-fished on his back and drooling slightly, while Ryuu-chan was curled on his side, the hood of his green dinosaur shirt over his head to block out the sunlight. “I’ll take them to gather some seashells,” he said. “Pick up some nice ones as souvenirs.”

Atsushi rolled onto his side and sat up, stretching before he moved to sit beside Akutagawa. “Hey,” he said. “You doing okay?”

Akutagawa rested his head against Atsushi’s shoulder. His skin was so warm from the sunlight, and he smelled like coconut from the suntan lotion. “Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.” He sighed, though, and glanced up and down the busy, crowded beach. “None of this makes you nervous at all, does it? About possibly being recognized.”

It was a silly thing to worry about here of all places, where they were so far from home, but it still niggled in the back of his mind. He could be recognized for his crimes, the kids would be taken from them, and he would be separated from his family….

Atsushi sensed the dark thoughts swirling and brushed Akutagawa’s hair back from his face. “You’re in the clear,” he reassured him softly. “And have been for years. There’s nothing to worry about, Ryuu.” He brushed his lips over Akutagawa’s, kissing him gently, and Akutagawa sighed into his mouth.

Acchan made a gagging sound from the other side of the blanket, and Atsushi drew back and rolled his eyes. “Except maybe insolent children,” Akutagawa said dryly, as Rashomon wrapped around Acchan’s ankle and flipped him upside down.

“Oh, so dad kisses are gross now, huh?” Atsushi said, tickling Acchan’s undefended bare feet as he dangled from his ankle in front of Akutagawa. Akutagawa had to lean to the side to not get kicked in the head as he flailed, so Rashomon released Acchan, dropping him into Atsushi’s arms. Before he could escape Atsushi started kissing the top of his head. “So is this gross? Or this?”

“Stop, stop—!” Acchan shrieked with laughter, trying to wiggle free. Atsushi released him and he rolled over Ryuu-chan, who grumbled at the impact but didn’t move otherwise.

“Enough,” Akutagawa said. “Who wants to look for shells?”

“Sleeping,” Ryuu-chan mumbled. “Later.”

“Shells!” Acchan shook his brother’s shoulder. “C’mon, c’mon, we have to find some cool ones! Remember, Yosano-neesan asked that we bring her a pretty one!”

Ryuu-chan begrudgingly sat up and yawned. “’kay,” he grunted. “I’m up.”

=====

They walked along the beach, just at the edge of the surf. Acchan had already filled his blue bucket with every shell he thought looked mildly interesting, but kept leaving the bucket behind in the sand for Atsushi to pick up as he chased seagulls. Ryuu-chan would stop and study each potential treasure, crouching in the sand thoughtfully.

Akutagawa and Atsushi walked hand in hand behind them, the warm water washing over their bare feet.

“No eating seagulls,” Atsushi yelled over at Acchan, who had a mouthful of feathers of dubious origin. He spat the feathers and looked disappointed; the moment he was distracted he was immediately divebombed by several gulls. They watched him run in circles, half-protecting his head and half-swatting at the annoying seabirds.

“We should really help him,” Akutagawa said; but made no move to do so.

Atsushi was keeping a weather eye on the situation. “He’ll learn eventually.”

Remarkably, there were no dead gulls left behind in the sand, although Acchan looked a little worse for wear. He retreated to Atsushi’s side and was forced to carry his own bucket of shells as penance, which he groaned about growing heavier and heavier with every step. Eventually, he gave up entirely and sat with a huff, overturning his bucket and beginning the arduous process of sorting his shells to decide which he wanted to actually keep.

Ryuu-chan doubled back and sat next to him, picking through Acchan’s pile as well, although his own collection was far more carefully curated and barely filled his own bucket a quarter full. Atsushi leaned over them, hands on his legs, offering opinions on the shells that Acchan held up, undecided.

Akutagawa watched the traffic on the beach, people jogging by with bodyboards, a family with enough kids to man a baseball team, two women who slowed, eyes on Atsushi; Akutagawa took a step closer to him, watching as they lingered. Atsushi turned, holding up a perfectly shaped scallop shell to show Akutagawa, and he took the opening to slide in next to him, observing the discussion.

When he looked up next, the women were gone.

Atsushi elbowed him gently. “Jealous.”

Akutagawa elbowed him back, because his elbows were pointier and could dig into his side better, hopefully hitting a kidney for extra points. “Mine,” he said, and Atsushi laughed, looping his arm around the small of Akutagawa’s back and leaning in to kiss him.

“Eww,” Acchan commented again, which made Ryuu-chan look up, and then over at Acchan.

“I want that one,” he pointed to Acchan’s refuse pile, but before he could pick up a shell Acchan grabbed it.

“I changed my mind, I want it,” he said, holding the top shell from the pile to his chest defensively, and oblivious to the tiny green Rashomon tendrils that were sneaking into his bucket to liberate the shell Ryuu-chan actually wanted.

“Nope,” Atsushi said, catching the tendrils with his tiger claws and slicing through them gently. The tendrils dispersed immediately. Acchan’s head swiveled to his bucket, and then to Ryuu-chan, who was doing his level best to look innocent.

“That’s stealing!”

“I didn’t take anything yet.”

“It’s still stealing! Dad!”

“Ryuu-chan, apologize to your brother.”

“I didn’t take anything!”

“But you were gonna!” Acchan was on his feet, tail poofed and tiny claws out.

“No tail,” Atsushi said, picking him up by the back of his wetsuit. “Or claws. Ryuu-chan, no Rashomon. You know the rules. Both of you stop it, now.”

Ryuu-chan folded his arms and sulked, and stuck his tongue out at Acchan, who immediately began struggling, hanging like a scruffed kitten. “Ryuunosuke,” Akutagawa said severely, and Ryuu-chan froze. “Apologize. Now.”

At Akutagawa’s tone, Ryuu-chan ducked his head. “Sorry,” he muttered, the apology very clearly forced.

“Okay,” Atsushi announced, still holding Acchan off the ground. “It think it’s time to head back to the room for a little bit, everyone’s getting cranky and that means everyone’s hungry.”

“You’re always hungry, dad,” Acchan said.

“You’re one to talk, you bottomless pit,” Atsushi said. Acchan huffed. “No more fighting or no one keeps any shells.”

“Hai,” both said in reluctant unison.

=====

It was Atsushi’s turn on bath duty and he sat in the soaking tub and supervised as Acchan and Ryuu-chan rinsed off, and then climbed in with him. Their spat was already forgotten, as Acchan had found one of the very big gull feathers on the way back to the room and given it to Ryuu-chan instead of keeping it for himself.

There were somewhat even odds that the feather had been in Acchan’s mouth at some point, but Atsushi didn’t bring that up.

Akutagawa joined them eventually, and the soaking tub was definitely big enough for all of them. He sat next to Atsushi with a long exhale, and they exchanged soft looks. “Ew, they’re gonna kiss again,” Acchan announced, and Ryuu-chan, with his eyes closed and in the water up to his chin, said, “grow up, ‘niisan.”

They ate dinner at one of the many resort restaurants; the walls folded open to the breeze coming off the water as the sun set. To Atsushi’s total lack of surprise, Dazai and Chuuya turned up before they’d even had a chance to order food, and commandeered a table to drag over, butting up against theirs. Acchan, who hadn’t seen either of them yet, had to immediately switch seats so he got to sit next to Chuuya.

“Missed you too, kid,” Chuuya said, amused. “Looks like you’re feeling better.”

Dazai sported a new bandage over the bridge of his nose, which Chuuya pointed out to everyone immediately, and with great glee. “Obviously the romantic excursion went well,” Atsushi said dryly, and Chuuya grinned.

Ryuu-chan and Acchan scribbled on turned-over placemats and argued over which mascot was the better one while the adults talked over their heads.

“We can take them tomorrow, after breakfast,” Chuuya said. He was on his third beer already, going through glasses like it was water. “Figured since the park is so big we’d wear them out good and proper and they could stay overnight with us, and then you could meet us at the park the next day.”

Akutagawa frowned. “Overnight?”

Dazai waved his hand, his chin propped in the other, elbow on the table. “The park has its own hotels! We’re staying there overnight, it will be ~magical~.”

Atsushi sighed and hung his head. “You are spoiling them rotten,” he said. “We can’t afford to pay this sort of thing back—ow, Chuuya-san.” Atsushi moved his legs to avoid another kick, and Chuuya pointed from around his beer glass.

“Spoiling them rotten is our job,” he said, confidently. “Besides, like I told you, you two deserve some downtime on your own vacation.”

He glanced over at Akutagawa, who was studying Ryuu-chan’s drawing of the purple mascot, and nodded, smiling softly. “Yeah,” he said. “That would be nice.”

Dazai leaned over Acchan, who was still coloring in his own drawing. “Your dads are so in love it’s gross, isn’t it, Acchan?”

Acchan nodded vigorously and held up his own scribbles, which were a very recognizable if simplistic rendition of the red panda mascot. “Ooh, can I have that?” Dazai asked, and Acchan very carefully signed his name in recently learned kanji, the characters only slightly crooked, before pushing the placemat over to Dazai.

Dazai held it up so Chuuya could see it. “When I die, I want this burned with me,” he said, and Chuuya kicked him. “Ow.”

“Shitty Dazai, you’re not dying anytime soon, stop saying that around the kids.”

“I said when. I didn’t say today.” A pause. “Maybe tomorrow, though. Ow.”

Ryuu-chan rode on Dazai’s shoulders, content at being Tall, while they congregated outside to hash out the remainder of the plans for tomorrow. He squinted across the small pavilion, and then tugged on Dazai’s hair for attention, pointing. “What’s that?”

“Ow, Ryuu-chan, don’t tug. What’s what?”

Akutagawa turned the way he was pointing. “A miniature lighthouse,” he reported, correctly identifying the target. “A mini golf course.”

“What’s a mini golf?” Acchan asked, holding Atsushi’s hand.

Dazai’s eyes got big. He put his hand on his chest dramatically. “What’s a mini golf???”

“We’re going,” Chuuya announced. “Right now.”

Atsushi said, “no we are not.”

Acchan tugged on his hand. “Daaaad,” he whined. “I wanna go to mini golf!”

“You don’t even know what mini golf is,” Atsushi said. “You were just complaining about being sleepy a minute ago.”

“I’m not sleepy anymore, I wanna mini golf!”

Atsushi looked toward Akutagawa. “Help me out here.”

“I, too, would like to go to the mini golf,” Akutagawa said. “I have only seen them in passing and never visited one myself.”

“I told you we’re going.” Chuuya hooked one arm through Atsushi’s and the other through Akutagawa’s. “Right now, hup!”

“Traitor,” Atsushi said to Akutagawa, just over Chuuya’s head. Acchan released his hand and jumped onto Chuuya’s back instead, hooking his arms around Chuuya’s neck. Chuuya released Atsushi and Akutagawa and made a seat with his arms behind his back, so Acchan could safely ride.

Atsushi let Chuuya and Dazai get a few steps ahead and Akutagawa kept pace with him instead. “They’ll be so worn out they’ll sleep in tomorrow,” Akutagawa said, sliding his hand into Atsushi’s.

“Provided their oji-tachi don’t stuff them full of sugar and carbonated beverages,” Atsushi muttered grimly, but conceded the point, squeezing Akutagawa’s hand as they walked across the brightly lit pavilion in the warm summer night.

<< Chapter 1

Chapter 3 >>

[daydreamalley]

Okay, can't do theories but I have some reactions and thoughts on ch.107 of bsd.

What is that note??!?! Who wrote it and who’s it even for? Like who would the person who wrote it even expect would find it? Especially as just a simple plea for help and no other details. Like what was even the point of writing the note? I’m sure the answer will be far less interesting to me than the question, but it’s intriguing.

Good to know vampires can heal, but it also feels so unnatural that Akutagawa doesn’t even try to block a hit. Like, I don’t like that at all, very unsettling. It’s such a human thing to want to protect yourself, and the fact that Akutagawa isn’t, and he’s being mind controlled, like when can we stop with these themes, or at least keep Chuuya out of it? Please. They better do some good things with it, but they already are with this whole sskk face off actually. And the prospect of Chuuya and Akutagawa both being broken out of the vampire thing by their partners is such good shit right there. I’m so ready to see that. Also the idea of vampires not being stopped until they’re killed? Yeah, definitely hoping to prove that entirely wrong.

Oof, Dazai’s like badly hurt, he’s looking really worse for wear, which could make this very interesting but also makes me worried. He’s backed into a corner even more now, and I really can’t tell how much of this he planned or saw as a possible requirement for a plan and how much of this is him just desperately trying to save the detective agency and deal with Dostoyevsky and not caring much about his own well-being. The injuries also make me question more how the hell Dazai is going to get out of all this, like physically. I’m pretty certain he’s gonna live, but he can barely walk right now and that seems like it should present issues (unless you have a short partner to lean on as a crutch?)

The setup for the Dazai and Chuuya interaction though. The drama of it. The way Chuuya’s fighting against the mind control, the way the emotional focus of this is gonna have to be on Dazai and his side of things. I’m already dying to see what happens with that, and I’m hoping I can expect a lot given how this arc has been building up.

Yay Sigma with a gun! Finally. And Dostoyevsky gets shot. Nice. On a side note though, are we even supposed to remember that Dazai and Dostoyevsky are poisoned? Cuz like, now they’re getting very injured and were already dying quite quickly via poison and also how much more can happen in these 30 minutes? Cuz a lot more needs to happen here. It also hasn’t been mentioned in a while, so…?

I was screaming at Sigma the entire time that he needs to touch Dostoyevsky’s corpse. That is a very, very important detail to the plan here. And I’m glad Sigma remembered the danger of touching Dostoyevsky before trying to do it. Like, good to see Sigma has some common sense. I swear, the characters in bsd either have way too many braincells and no common sense, have a normal amount of braincells but choose to ignore common sense most of the time, or don’t have braincells

It is very refreshing to see Sigma not immediately fall for the “Dazai was manipulating you” bit. And throughout the arc Sigma has consistently been shown to be compelled by Dazai’s actions and not just his words, as far as I can remember. He’s impressed at what Dazai is willing to do for the detective agency, and so seeing that Sigma is willing to risk himself as well. This is also paired with his interaction with Atsushi from the sky casino arc, so he’s also met the ADA before. Also Dazai has done a lot to save Sigma, even if it has all been part of his plan, and Sigma feels like the type to still put value in that even if it doesn’t mean much to Dazai. Great, powerful moment for Sigma to break out from the DOA’s manipulation so blatantly and try to claim the win for Dazai. Also we better learn what Dostoyevsky’s ability actually is now that Sigma has asked him point blank (quite literally).

This chapter has set up some really interesting things that I’m really excited to see. Just hope we get to see satisfying progression with them soon enough. Though this chapter in itself was pretty satisfying too, which is good

[larathia]

BSD rewatch notes

So I’m rewatching the anime at about an episode a day, so that I finish right when S4 is set to start. Some stuff I’m noticing:

* Dazai, when he fights, keeps his hands in his pockets...just like Chuuya.

* Atsushi really latched on to Dazai as his mentor and exemplar. His entire reasoning for saving Kyouka is that this must be something the Agency can choose to do, because Dazai chose to do this for him, and when he goes back for Kyouka on the cargo ship, it’s because he believes Dazai never gave up on him. And we know Dazai better, at this later stage of the series, but honestly Atsushi isn’t wrong. At this point in the series, it is the Agency’s usual way to go “well, they’re on their own and they’ll make it back or they won’t.” Nobody even thinks to go looking for Dazai when he’s captured, and nobody worries about Ranpo when he’s off in other regions on consultations (and lbr here, given Ranpo’s utter inability to navigate basic transportation, they probably ought to). It’s the events of the early episodes that change the Agency’s stance somewhat on this front - at least to checking up on their people.

* You can really tell, in the early episodes, just what Akutagawa absorbed from his time with Dazai - and what he didn’t absorb. Now, I am not in any way saying Aku’s dense, or stupid, or incapable of understanding. But he is obsessively singleminded and that does affect what he takes away from any encounter or conversation, and I think that is probably the very first reason Dazai declares Atsushi the ‘superior apprentice’. (But this is Dazai. He had a LOT of reasons for saying that, which should be its own post...at some point.)

- Firstly, Aku’s willing to kill Kyouka on the train. “A pawn, however powerful, is just a pawn”. Note that he does not care what the circumstances were, or what the reasons were. She failed, she should be killed. That’s it. With later-episode awareness, you can probably figure he’s thinking about the time Dazai nearly killed him, during the Mimic affair. But those situations aren’t the same, except maybe in Aku’s mind, and the idea that to him they WERE the same says a lot about Aku. Dazai’s fury at Akutagawa in that instance was that the men Aku killed were prisoners he’d had to set an elaborate trap to capture, and take extra measures to keep alive, and whose deaths would lead to further deaths in the Mafia. But Aku doesn’t seem to have registered any of those circumstances. What he remembers is that he failed Dazai and therefore Dazai tried to kill him, and that’s what he takes forward in his actions toward Kyouka.

- Secondly, Kyouka’s kept in a cell when she’s not deployed. She’s just...ignored. Like a dog in its kennel, if you will. Which kinda says a lot about Aku’s limited awareness of Dazai’s focus. He seems to have registered that Dazai only interacted with him when Dazai needed him for something...and rather than think “well, yes, employer/employee”, he registered this as “neglectful master with his dog”.

- Thirdly, what Aku tells Atsushi is that by giving Kyouka assignments, he was giving her a reason to live. And, again, I’m kinda reading this as a very...dog-like approach. Aku wants, above all, Dazai’s approval. He wants Dazai to rely on him, to give him orders. Aku’s talking about himself here. Abandoned angry dog that can’t figure out why master isn’t relying on him. Atsushi is his target because Atsushi is the ‘new dog’...well, cat, or at least rival. The bit where Atsushi can’t figure out where any of this is coming from is pretty funny, in hindsight. As much as Atsushi cares about Dazai at this point - in a real sense he’s as reliant on Dazai’s approval as Akutagawa is - the manner of that reliance is different. Atsushi doesn’t need Dazai to be on the boat to rescue him. Doesn’t need Dazai in the area at all. The last time they spoke, Dazai was approving of him...and that’s enough. Atsushi can just carry that with him. Akutagawa, on the other hand, needs constant/consistent reminders that it looks like he never got.

- Atsushi, man, he learns FAST. He goes from ‘can’t control his power at all’ to ‘man I really need to use my power’ (on the train) to actively changing and reverting at will on the cargo ship. And I notice that Dazai wasn’t present for ANY of that, but it didn’t hinder Atsushi any.

- I’m a little surprised that Dazai’s tactic while a prisoner worked. I mean. Claiming a meeting of the five executives to an executive’s face is...wow. I think that only worked because Chuuya was expecting Dazai to have a trick up his sleeve, and Dazai knew the location of every single one of Chuuya’s buttons and how to push them. Which is mostly what Dazai spends that time doing - pushing Chuuya’s buttons, until the guy’s so mad he really can’t think straight.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Chapter Eight: A Traitor Among Terrorists (PT 2)

Junichirou Tanizaki’s Perspective

“First, let’s see your face, shall we?” Yosano makes a grab for the man’s hood but he jumps back, dodging her. He has something shiny in his hand, he holds it out. Dog tags. Is he ex-military? Does he think that will make us want to spare him?

Yosano freezes in the same way she did when I offered to join the mafia in her place. Haunted by something. Right, the dead soldiers. Is this all for revenge? A traumatised soldier, or the family member of one, here to get justice? It didn’t seem personal, but now with the dog tags . . .

A blade is whistling toward Yosano, she doesn’t move, stuck like a deer in headlights again. Hiding her with Light Snow won’t work unless she moves. Thankfully Gin is in front of her, their own blade raised against the offending one, blocking it.

“GET BACK YOU IDIOT!” Tachihara is yelling at me, showing me behind him as he fires a barrage of bullets at the man. “Crap! He’s tough!”

Crap? Tachihara’s use of the faux swear word surprises me. He seems more the type to use actual swear words. And even if he's trying to clean up his vocabulary, (at Ozaki-san’s behest maybe?) if there's any time to swear, it’s now.

“Why are you here?” Yosano yells over the shots. I don’t understand her question, obviously they’re here for me, then I remember I haven’t announced I’m leaving the agency yet, unless Tachihara somehow realised my plan to defect. Realised, or hoped. I’d like to think he still thinks of me as a comrade, and not as a terrorist.

“The boss’s orders . . . are the law, that’s why!” he shouts his reply between shots.

I can be satisfied, if not completely happy, with that answer.

“Old man!” Tachihara’s sudden exclamation

“The dramatic entrance of evil, the guidance of the buffoon,  This path shall never yield to the proud sword of justice!” Hirotsu activates Falling Camelia and the Hunting Dog’s sword snaps right in half.

“Wow! He broke it!” 

‘Yeah no shit!’ is what I want to say. That’s the second odd thing Tachihara’s said today, what’s with him?

“We'll reach our boat through this conduit. Hurry.” The blade pierces Hirotsu’s chest so fast I almost don’t see it. Blood spurts from his mouth. He pulls on the blade, fighting it, even as it cuts his hands and pushes through his body. “Now, while I’m holding it down . . . GO!

Mafiosos are as dedicated to their own as any detective else, I don’t regret my decision.

“Let’s go! Don’t let his resolve go to waste!”

As we run down the alley towards the conduit I can’t help but note that Tachihara hasn’t been sounding like himself. I know I have no right to say that, but something nags at me that it’s a sign of something (I’m not sure what but something is going on). He seems totally different from I’ve ever seen him before, his demeanour almost resembles Atsushi. I can’t place why immediately then it hits me, his innocent young wording, not swearing, stating the obvious, his looks of surprise at things that shouldn’t surprise someone hardened to violence. 

Now that I pay attention he looks dishevelled, his hair messier than usual, his plaster peeled almost all the way now . . . and his dog tags are missing. Did something happen to him between when we went our separate ways and when he and Gin found us again. I think about asking but we don’t have time and it would probably sound stupid even if we did.

Tachihara and Gin easily pull open a thick metal blast door, like the kind banks have but better, and lead us through it. “Only the mafia can unlock this barrier wall. We’re safe.”

I repeat his statement in my head, looking for any more clues. Maybe it’s weird for a mafioso to say we’re safe, maybe I’m just being paranoid.

“ . . . Yeah we’ll see.” Yosano looks less than impressed. I sigh in relief, I at least want to believe that we are indeed really safe. I trust the mafia.

“By the looks of you, you knew that skill user?” Tachihara challenges.

‘The looks of you’, knowing his normal style of speech, he must have picked that up from Hirotsu. I laugh. His eyes dart over to me, but he doesn’t hold my gaze, looking at the explosive device in his hand. I suppose it is a good idea when one is handling explosives to keep your eyes on them.

When Yosano doesn’t answer he shrugs, “Okay we’re good. If they use a skill to open the door this reactive explosive will take their hands off. It’d even kill a Hunting Dog.” His speech is back to normal now, maybe he was just shaken by the idea of capture? I remember, even when he was afraid of me in the training room his voice never once showed it. But I guess even mafiosos can be shaken, and the Hunting Dogs are certainly a force to be reckoned with.

I recognise Gin’s quiet steps coming down the alley, already becoming more attuned to their presence. “The barrier on the canal side is good. We’re safe here.”

Yosano has that determined expression again, she’s going to do something reckless. I won’t let her, one of my last acts as a detective will be to make sure she’s safe.

“You guys escape. I’ll stay here.”

“Huh?” Tachihara and I both express our confusion.

Yosano's expression only becomes more intense, “I’m the one he wants revenge against. I can’t . . . let people die because of me any longer.”

Revenge? So this is personal. What did Yosano not tell us? What does she know? She must know who the attacker is. This is her fight then, but still . . .

I’m going to protest but Tachihara beats me to the punch, “You think we’re all stupid? We ain't mafia because we wimp out when it counts, man.” He turns away stubbornly, leading the way towards the boat. He sighs, something resigned about the sound, “ . . . I got a real talented brother, y’know. I hate being compared to him, so I went criminal to go the other way. One day I got caught cracking a safe of some real bad guys. They didn’t take my money but they ordered me to work for them, and the work was fun, oddly enough. Fighting as part of a real big group, I became my own person. Not my brother, not his opposite, and not his opposite. So even if I die because of an order today . . . I ain’t regretting it at all.”

So that’s how he got into the mafia, I never thought about it, but with his cocky defiance, his hick accent, I guess I’d assumed they picked him up off the streets or something. It makes him seem more real, more his age. But why is he telling us this now?

“Tachihara . . .” Gin trails off, their voice soft.

“Huh? What, Gin? Did that move you?” He asks, sounding awfully nonchalant for someone who just spilled his life story.

Then their blade is in his stomach. Why would they do that? I start to lunge for Gin but they slide past me as if begging dragged.

“Get away! . . . It’s moving on its own!” The words are strained as they pull against the blade, attempting to regain control. In the blink of an eye the blade is in their chest, their hands still on the hilt as if they inflicted the wound on themself. They fall to the ground with a thud, they’re eyes rolling back in their head. It happened so fast we’re all still frozen when the blade darts past us. The attacker is here again. How did he get through the door?

I don’t have to dwell because Yosano shoves me behind her. I don’t think, I act. I activate Light Snow, hiding us. 

Yosano looks around at the greenish tinted snow, “No, I want him to see me.”

“What, Yosano, no!”

“This is personal, Tanizaki-kun. Release me from Light Snow.”

“But-”

“Please, I need this.”

Her tone makes me relent. I pull back the illusion screen, allowing Yosano to step out of it. I run over to Tachihara, he coughs violently, more blood dripping out of his wound with each hack. With all three of them down it’s only Yosano and I now. And Yosano, I know as well as anyone, doesn’t need my protection. Her hands are already raised. She's ready. I’ll look out for her, but it’s only myself and Tachihara I have to defend now. 

“Come, you ghost or whatever from my past. Yosano Akiko of the armed detective agency will rip you apart.”

Following Yosano’s command the attacker sends his knife forward. It slashes so fast, reminding me of Ozaki-san’s demon, and it goes against every fibre of my being not to shield Yosano with Light Snow.

Tachihara’s shirt is stained with blood, but while he still has it on I can’t tell how deep the wound is, not like I could treat it anyway.

“Guess you need that plaster now, huh?” 

My joke is weak but he laughs anyway, a pained sound that causes more blood to drip. There’s been so much blood today. We were in no way prepared for this. It’s an ability like we’ve never seen before. I grab Tachihara’s shoulders. “Don’t, you’ll make it worse.”

He grimaces, his expression focused, gazing into the distance. I wonder what he’s thinking about. I hope he doesn’t think he’s going to die, because he’s not. He won’t. He’ll be fine. Yosano can heal him, and if she doesn't want to I’ll make her.

I turn at the sound of gunshots. The doctor fires off shot after shot and the bullets fall as if they’d simply been tosses not fired at high speed. So this guy can control bullets too. How are we going to beat him? If only Tachihara had an offensive ability.

The boat rises so suddenly, sending cold water flying everywhere, before slamming right into Yosano. The attacker walks casually over to where Yosano lies on the ground. 

I know she can’t be killed so easily but it feels like a weight off my shoulders when she laughs. “Today is a good day. The president and Ranpo-san knew my sins and still forgave me. The only one who didn’t was myself. But today . . . you’ve come to take revenge. That means I’m no longer alone.” She jumps up and grabs his throat. 

More gunshots sound off, they’re coming from beside her, the gun hovering in the air. Yosano, because of her skill, is unharmed.

Tachihara’s eyes widen in awe, “What! She can heal herself on the fly, like the tiger kid?”

Yosano answers his question “That won’t work.” she smirks, shoving the attacker into the metal door. “The bomb blast itself, your skill can’t block that, can it?”

The man says nothing

“By helping the agency, I will accept my punishment!” Yosano holds the bomb up to both of them.

“No, Yosano-san!” 

But my scream is wasted, nothing happens. There’s no explosion, not even a small one. The attacker falls slack on the ground. His raincoat rides up revealing . . . metal? His body is made of metal. He’s not a he at all, but a metal mannequin. Another trick. The metal controlling skill user was never here at all. But they must be able to see us if they’re able to attack us. I feel sick. I played right into the skill user’s hand by letting Yosano show herself. Where are they hiding, I’ll use Light Snow and strangle them.

The door bursts open.

“Great work!” It's Jouno. 

Yosano is as shocked as I am, “THE HUNTING DOGS!”

This is no trick, here they stand, only one missing. But they don’t need all five of them to take us down. How did they even find us? I can worry about that if they don’t kill us all on the spot. I know I’m hidden by light snow but I still want to hide. I gesture to Tachihara, pointing to the wall we can hide behind. He shakes his head, a look of pain on his face. 

“You want to fight . . . in this condition?” I mouth. I don’t want to allow it but I know I have no right to stop him. He doesn’t answer, instead rising to his feet. I grab his arm. “Tachhara, stop, where are you- you’ll hurt yourself!” Oh! My raised voice just gave us away. “Here, give me your gun, I can-” 

“No.”

“What?”

“I said, no.” He shakes me off, walking towards Yosano . . . and the Hunting Dogs.

My heart pounds. He’s crazy! Why does he want to die all of the sudden? Does he think we’re completely hopeless? He’s going to get killed. I have to do something.

I grab him from behind, pulling him back. He freezes for barely a second then grabs my hand, squeezing hard. His grip is strong, it hurts, like my nerves are on fire. I let go and he shoves me to the ground so hard I’m breathless, my back and chest aching. So distracted by the shock that Light Snow disappears. I rehide myself quickly, but I’m too exhausted from everything to cover Tachihara or Yosano.

Jouno and Fukuchi are laughing like this is the most entertaining thing they’ve seen in a while.

“Ougai Mori is a dangerous medical officer who knows many military secrets. The infiltration agent we sent in to investigate him is proving to be rather handy, you see. His little boyfriend though . . .” Jouno trails off, chuckling. I don’t know why he’s staring at me like that. I know he can’t see me. Or can he? What is his skill anyway?

Yosano stands bravely in front of Jouno and the other Hunting Dogs, but she’s shaking, sweat making her hair stick to her face. “He had to work for some real bad guys? . . . Those guys . . . I thought they were the mafia . . .” What! Does the mafia have something to do with this? But they couldn’t have. Why is she quoting Tachihara?

“Nope.” The voice is Tachihara. After he shoved me he’d just stood there, watching Yosano riddle it out. Tachihara keeps walking until he’s in front of Fukuchi. I want badly to stop him but I feel frozen, I can’t move. Fukuchi places a red cloth over Tachihara. Tachihara lets him. It’s a Hunting Dogs cap, and there's a hat to go along with it. My blood runs cold, I don’t think my heart is beating anymore.

“The Fifth Hunting Dog . . . is me, infiltration agent Tachihara Michizou.”

No. Tachihara, a hunting dog? That’s not possible, he was so welcoming to me . . . he can’t be.

He continues, the expression on his face tired, but carrying no hint of regret. Like he had to do this, like it was necessary. Why?

“And that man you killed 14 years ago . . . was my brother.”

My heart has restarted and it’s beating so fast I feel dizzy, black spots taking over my vision. We were set up from the beginning, we never had a chance. All of his, Hirotsu and Gin included. It makes sense, so much sense, and I hate it.

How the mannequin followed us, always knowing where we were with pinpoint accuracy, his forced sounding innocence, how he and Gin opened that big heavy door with no help, it should've taken all of us to pull it and I knew it.

He’s just talking to Yosano now, “The Police decided to send someone in after their last operative, Sakaguchi Ango from the special division, got out. I’m the one who volunteered. If I was in the mafia, I knew I could get close to you.”

The words send a feeling, like a dark cloud over me. I feel used. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. Yet, I can’t blame Tachihara for wanting revenge, part of me understands his anger. If Naomi had been killed I don’t know what I would have done, but he still lied. It shouldn’t matter, our relationship was never personal, we were only colleagues for less than two days but it does matter. I feel more a part of the mafia than ever before. Tachihara’s betrayal makes my blood boil.

Yosano seems more rational than I am, “To get revenge, you went that far? Then do what you want.” What? I don’t know how to feel. Yes it was her fault those soldiers died but she’s so good. She kneels. Tachihara raises his gun.

A scream tears from my throat so loud it hurts, a raw primal sound that doesn't sound like something I should be capable of producing.

Yosano looks back at me, I can tell she’s ready to accept her fate. “Tanizaki, RUN!!!” 

I do, the adrenaline propelling me forward, but for once I’m not running away from something, I’m running to something. I have a destination in mind. 

I sprint down the alley faster than I ever have before. The Hunting Dogs haven’t started pursuing me yet but I know I have to hurry, I’m not sure how long this burst of energy will last.

I spot Hirostu’s radio, in the pool of blood and snatch it up. I turn the nob not even sure of the correct frequency, the volume of my scream fueled by the betrayal. “If you want someone so badly, take me, Mori-san, TAKE ME!!!” 

A sample of my Junichirou Tanizaki Port Mafia AU

Chapter One: Bloodthrist

Junichirou's Perspective:

My heart beats violently in my chest, from running up all those stairs and from what I'm about to do. I am afraid of course, of the potential retaliation, what this could mean for the agency in the aftermath, for my sister. But for the battle to end, this is our only option. In this fight someone will have to lose their life. This is necessary, I will do what is necessary, to save the Agency, and my sister. Let this life put an end to it all.

Just as I plunge the blade down there's a flash of light and it's cut in half before it reaches its target. There's a hand around my wrist that feels almost solid but not quite.

"Forgive me, child, if this man dies, the mafia will return to the form I detested so." It's a woman's voice, and its presence fills the whole room.

I turn.

The woman herself matches her voice, commanding, brown eyes with a sharp gaze, held on me. Feeling useless I consider dropping the knife. I consider it, but I don't. Instead I tightly grip the end with the handle and make myself disappear.

"Visible or not, your bloodthirst is clear to me. I hesitate to wound one of Kyouka's colleagues but . . ." I swear I hear her sigh, and then there's a whooshing sound, the room is filled with knives. Only one blade but it moves so fast I won't possibly make it out alive. And she knows it, I can tell.

"There's no use hiding, Tanizaki-san. I can still hit you, and don't bother with the window, unless Dazai's suicide obession has rubbed off on you, that is." She just stands by her boss's bed, not bothering to ferret me out, like she knows she's won.

Anger burns hot in my chest turning the room red, but it's useless. I can't touch her. I'm useless.

"You'll still be useful to us without all your fingers, and I think you would prefer I found you, not my Demon. Wouldn't you agree?" She has a determined expression, it turns tired when I don't respond, "I can feel your bloodthirst from here, this is surely getting boring for the both of us. Reveal yourself."

She takes me by the scruff of my shirt neck like I’m some lost kitten and I wonder why she doesn’t restrain me more, but I guess with her gift she assumes I would be too afraid to run. She’s right.

"Good. Now, let's talk business."

(A/N: This is very experimental, I really just want to see if people like it. If you did enjoy this pls like, reblog, and/or comment to let me know. I am writting a second chapter but I'm kind of unsure where the story will go after this. Also I'm still deciding whether or not to include Tachizaki, I know they're a popular rare-pair, should I? If I include Tachizaki I'm thinking of calling it: What does the Tripartite Scheme have to do with Midwinter Snow. Is that a good name or too cringey?)