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waayoutofline · 2 months ago

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Avoiding every mistletoe (Until I know It’s true love)

Marvel Masterlist

PROMPTS: Shy Natasha Romanoff and Lab Assitant!Reader

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Tags: Fluff, awkward and clumsy Nat, Tony's lab asistant reader, christmas fun! ( posting this during actual christmas), meddeling avengers, a sprinkle of hurt/comfort.

Summary —> Ever since Natasha met you, Tony's new brilliant assistant, she has been down bad. But her sudden lack of confidence around you banishes every hope for her to make a move. Christmas is around the corner, and the team knows about your superstitious nature. There seems to be a clear answer: Mistletoes.

WC: 5473

Warnings: Descriptions of making out, but not explicit sexual content.

***

November was in full swing at the Avengers Tower, which meant sophisticated red, green, and gold decorations adorned every surface, Christmas songs played on an endless loop through the speakers, and the unmistakable aroma of gingerbread wafted (somehow) through the air.

As was classic Tony Stark fashion, a lineup of extravagant holiday parties had already been scheduled and meticulously planned for execution. Natasha Romanoff though was already dreading it.

Hoping to avoid any unnecessary interaction, she quietly sneaked into the communal kitchen, intent on grabbing a couple of waffles Wanda had made earlier. But as soon as she stepped in, she felt the weight of several pairs of eyes on her back.

“Ah, Miss Romanoff, there you are!” Tony’s voice rang out, cheerful and full of purpose. He was already decked out in one of his newest suits—sharp, festive, and annoyingly ostentatious.

Sighing, Natasha turned around, realizing it was too late to make a run for it. She was greeted by the sight of her team sprawled across the couches and armchairs in the lounge, each of them absorbed in their own activity, but now casually watching Tony’s sudden commotion with mild interest.

“Morning,” Natasha grunted, reluctantly moving to join them, plate in hand.

“Just the person I was looking for!” Tony said, flashing a shit-eating grin as he patted the empty space beside him on the couch.

Instead of humoring him, Natasha settled herself on the fluffy rug in front of the coffee table, placing her plate down without a word.

“You are officially invited to the pre-Christmas party hosted by moi,” Tony declared dramatically.

“Tony, you literally held us hostage at one last week. I still have a hangover,” she deadpanned, recalling flashes of the chaos where even she had gone overboard with the alcohol, thanks to Sam Wilson’s stupid drinking games.

“Oh, come on! This one’s different. It’s intimate—just for us heroes and co,” Tony countered, undeterred. Then, leaning back smugly, he added, “I even got the space lady to come. How awesome is that?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“Oh don’t be boring. Where’s the wild Natasha Romanoff we all love?” Tony teased, grinning as if to provoke her.

“Easy. She doesn’t exist,” Natasha replied flatly, cutting into her first waffle. She let out a satisfied hum at the sweet taste.

“These are amazing, Wanda,” she said, looking over at the young witch.

Wanda, sitting comfortably on a loveseat, smiled warmly at the compliment. “Thanks, Nat.”

“Is it a new recipe?” Natasha asked, curious.

“Yes, actually. I added a bit of cinnamon and—”

“Okay, okay!” Tony interrupted, baffled by the lack of attention he was receiving, looking bewildered between them two. “Let’s get back to the main thing here. Are you coming?”

At Natasha’s reluctant silence, Steve stepped in with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Natasha. I’ll make sure he’s on his best behavior.”

“Ugh, boring—” Tony groaned, dragging the word out in sing-song. But under Steve’s hardened stare, he sighed in defeat. “Fine. It’ll be a cozy hangout. No traces of fun or whatever,” he relented, raising his hands in mock surrender.

Taking another bite of her waffles, she carfulkly took a sip of her coffe, trying to hide her smirk as she sees Tony waiting in anticipation fo her response. “Fine.”

Tony threw a punch onto the air, clapping in victory. “Carol is coming you said?”

He nodded proudly. “Yeah I managed to rope her and her little sidekick in. There is also the kid, Clint and his family…”

”Dont forget Strange.” Bruce, who just entered the living room reminded. Tony grumbled a bit at that.

“Yeah, Houdini too. Scary lady and Patch eye…god were those hard to convince— Oh and my lab assistant too.” Nathasa choked at that.

”Assistant? She practically takes over your lab.” Bruce chuckled.

Tony rolled his eyes, but there was no hint of malice. If anything, a spark of pride made his eyes a bit brighter. “Yeah well, I taught her well. Did you knowl that last week she-“

Nathan’s brain disconnected at a scary speed after those words. Images of you hit her hard, and she could already start to feel her heart race a bit.

Y/N Y/L/N was Tony Stark’s most recent lab and tech assistant, and to say he was impressed would be an understatement. After reviewing your résumé, Tony had practically declared you a godsend. You were one of the rare people who could keep up with his eccentricities, effortlessly managing the stream of tasks he threw your way. It didn’t take long for you to earn a permanent spot at the Avengers Tower.

Natasha remembered the first time she saw you as if it were yesterday. She had been on her way to ask Tony for a replacement for her gauntlets after a particularly rough mission. When she stepped into the lab, though, she was surprised to find someone else hunched over the workbench.

Frowning, Natasha set her hand on the fingerprint scanner, the door sliding open with a soft whoosh. At the sound, the stranger turned around, and Natasha froze in place.

For her, the world seemed to stop spinning, settling into an almost unnatural silence. You were… ethereal.

In her life, Natasha had faced aliens, wizards, and even sentient robots. So how far-fetched was it to assume she was now standing face to face with an angel?

Even though you didn’t know her, a gentle smile settled on your lips, your gorgeous eyes peering at her with almost childlike curiosity. Natasha stood there, frozen in place, unable to move. It wasn’t until something shifted in the silence that she remembered to breathe again.

Startled, she realized she hadn’t moved from the doorway. The door had automatically closed where she stood, trapping her. Embarrassed, she quickly stepped forward, pushing herself to snap out of it.

And, of course, she had to stumble. The gauntlets she was holding slipped from her grip and fell to the floor with an unforgivable thud. Cringing, she immediately knelt down to retrieve them. What she didn't expect was for you to do the same, even if your movement were more calm.

She flustered when she dared to look up, finding your own awaiting gaze. “Well, if they weren't broken before, they sure are now.” You joked with a smile, tone teasing but not judging.

Blinking, Natasha started sputtering, not really knowing what to say. Or how. “Yes.”

“Yes” is what her stupid brain decided to go for. Even thinking about it even now, her face scrunch with self embarrassment. What was even happening? Taking a breath, she redirected her eyes to the ground. Right, the gauntlets. They are broken. Need them fixed.

Finally standing up, she forced her body not to fidget. As if sensing this, you offered a hand to her. “Y/N Y/L/N, Mr.Starks new hire here in the lab.”

Tentatively, she accepted the shake. Her mind hanging on how your hand seemed to fit into hers. “Natasha Romanoff. Um, avenger.”

God what’s wrong with her? You giggle at that, and the sound is enough to get her out of her head. Of course that the sound is also beautiful. Was there anything about you that wasn’t? Why is she even think that?

“I know. Pleasure to meet you, Ms.Romanoff. So…may I help you with those?” You ask, your hand still being held by hers. Noticing this, Natasha removed her grip as if you were burning.

“Please.” She ended up saying, utterly embarrassed by her behaviour. Still, you gave no sense of judgment, only nodding and taking her over the workbench.

She stayed with you all that evening. And most of the next ones after that.

***

Her infatuation with you only seemed to grow since that first meeting, and the others quickly picked up on it. They saw it in the way Natasha—the most grounded person they knew—started sputtering and flustering whenever she talked to you. The unshakable confidence she was known for seemed to melt under the warmth of your sunshine smile and the twinkle of mischief in your eyes.

And as much as they insisted for her to make an actual move, Natasha refused.

“Uh-oh, I know that look.” Wanda sang, like a high school girl teasing her friend in high school when they listened the name of their crush. Rolling her eyes, Natasha scoffed.

”There is no look.”

”Oh, but there is.” Clint, who was watching Sam and a struggling Bucky play Mortal Combat added, not even looking away from the screen. “Your pupils practically shape into hearts— likes a lovesick puppy. It’s almost painful to watch.

”Shut it Barton.”

You were too good for her, Natasha decided on her own. You were like the sun, kind and warm, gentle in a way that it was entirely selfless. Natasha's life was one of dangers and precautions, she didn’t want to expose you to any of the threats that surrounded her lifestyle.

Even if she ached to be close to you, call you her own.

“Now it’s the time to make a move. Who knows? Maybe you will find each other under the mistletoe.” He adds with a wink.

Tony hummed. “Hm, that’s actually a good idea.”

Her head whipped toward him. “Don’t even think about it, Stark. Besides, that’s a stupid tradition. How do you even know that Y/N would willingly kiss someone just because a stupid parasitic plant is above her?”

They all laughed at that.

“Our Y/N? Please. She practically had a mental breakdown when I broke a mirror in the lab the other day,” Tony quipped, grinning.

Wanda nodded in agreement, casually flipping through the pages of her book. “Yeah, once she made me search the entire tower for something made of wood to touch, just so I wouldn’t jinx the next mission after I mentioned a hypothetical worst-case scenario. Still don’t get that one.”

Natasha’s face went pale at that, remembering a conversation she’d once had with you. You had mentioned that, while you didn’t fully believe in superstitions yourself, your family did, and it had resulted in some strange and unshakable habits for you. “Better safe than sorry,” you had said with a shrug.

A cold sweat made her tremble slightly, worsening by all of a sudden interested and sneaky grins on her friends faces.

Whatever, she still can not go.

***

She still had to go.

When you confirmed your attendance, you clapped excitedly, rambling about how fun it would be to spend your first Christmas together. You even brought it up when she bought you lunch—a frequent occurrence, since you often got so engrossed in your work that you forgot to eat. Natasha would be lying if she said your words didn’t tug relentlessly at her heart.

And so, there she was, surrounded by the thrumming chaos of an all-together gathering, overwhelming decorations, and overly festive arrangements at every turn. Anxiety prickled at her as she glanced toward the newly decorated attic. They couldn’t possibly have infested the entire place with mistletoe, right?

Wrong.

They were everywhere.

On every doorway, on the stairs, in the high columns and ceilings, even on top of the Christmas tree, scattered around—everywhere she looked, there it was. Mistletoe.

Trying to shake it off, Natasha focused her attention on the ground, her sharp gaze scanning for the culprit behind this festive ambush.

“Tony!” she half-yelled, her steps quick and deliberate as she marched toward the eccentric billionaire, who was in the middle of a conversation with Pepper.

His head whipped toward her, a flicker of fear flashing across his face before his usual smug smirk returned.

“Care to explain?” she demanded.

“Explain what, exactly? My fantastical abilities to host, or…?” he drawled, his tone dripping with amusement.

She glared furiously. “Aw, c’mon, don’t look so grumpy, Grinch! This is a time of tradition, joy—”

“And manipulation?” she interrupted through gritted teeth. “This is way too much.”

Despite her glare and the unmistakable edge in her voice, Tony remained unfazed. If anything, his amusement only grew. He glanced over her shoulder, his expression brightening as he perked up.

“Well, complaints are non-refundable. Sorry, it’s the new policy. If you’ll excuse me, Pepper needs me to sign some super high-confidence document, right, dear?”

Pepper frowned. “What are you talking ab—”

Before she could finish, Tony gently grabbed her hand and began steering her away, the two trailing off into the crowd.

Natasha was about to follow and press him further, but a voice behind her made her freeze.

“Nat, hey!”

She turned around, and suddenly, everything seemed to slow down for her. There you were, wearing a comfy red sweater, black jeans, and a pair of Mary Janes. Your hair, usually tied back for work, was flowing freely, framing your face. It was a simple, casual look, but Natasha felt her face heat up at the sight of you.

As you got closer, alarm bells blared in her mind. Her eyes darted upward, and her stomach dropped. One of those dreaded mistletoe clusters hung right above where you were heading.

Panicking, she practically sprinted toward you, desperate to avoid both of you standing under it. But she miscalculated her speed, and before she knew it, she was barrelling straight into you.

You let out a startled huff as her momentum almost knocked you over, but her quick reflexes kicked in, and she steadied you before you could stumble.

“Geez, Romanoff,” you joked, brushing yourself off as you smiled up at her. “We just saw each other this morning. Did you miss me that much?”

Your teasing tone and warm voice snapped her out of her panic, but the damage was done. Natasha’s heart was hammering in her chest, her senses overloaded as she became acutely aware of how close you were. The soft warmth of your body pressed lightly against hers, the delicate scent of cocoa beans, coconut, and something distinctly you filling the air around her.

Her cheeks burned as her mind scrambled for something—anything—to say as she looked down at you, mortified. Luckily for her, your attention diverged when someone from the staff (who even brings staff in closed up parties?) bough a chocolate fountain in a rolling chair. “No. Way.— I thought he was kidding!”

And just like that you went off excitedly, a silhouette of dust being the only trace of you left. Sighing, Natasha brought her hand to her racing heart, trying to figure out a way to survive this evening.

Her eyes opened again in determination, she was going to take off these damned things, starting with the one right on top of her.

***

This task, however, grew increasingly difficult as the evening wore on. Between being roped into endless conversations, you constantly looking out for her (and her desperately trying to avoid you), and the absurd number of mistletoes everywhere, Natasha felt like she was fighting a losing battle. It was as if they were multiplying before her very eyes.

Her frustration peaked during a particularly embarrassing moment—one where, of course, you were the witness.

After listening to Peter and Kamala endlessly gossip about high school drama, Natasha had collapsed onto the sofa, her patience hanging by a thread. As her gaze wandered across the room, her eyes landed on the ceiling—and there it was. Another mistletoe. This one was perched slightly higher than the others, hanging right above the beanbag chair where you often sat. Of course.

Those strategic bastards.

Taking advantage of everyone being distracted in the kitchen, she sprang into action. With no ladder in sight, she grabbed a nearby chair and carefully climbed onto it. Still too short to reach, she braced herself against the shelves, stretching precariously as she balanced. Every slight wobble of the chair made her heart lurch, but she pressed on, determined to remove the offending decoration before anyone noticed.

But of course, that was the moment you walked in, calling for her.

“Nat? Aren’t you hungry? I saved you some of those little pies you like so much—”

Your voice startled her, and she immediately looks down at you. Her grip slipped briefly, the chair wobbling dangerously beneath her.

“Y/N! Shit—” she hissed, her heart leaping into her throat. Scrambling to steady herself, she clung to the edge of the shelf and managed to avoid completely losing her balance. She froze, her cheeks heating as she realized you were staring at her, bewildered.

“What… are you doing?” you asked, the corners of your lips quirking up in confusion and slight amusement.

Blushing furiously, Natasha’s mind scrambled for a reasonable explanation. “Um… I was just… looking for Clint? You know how much he loves to hide up here.” she said with a nervous laugh, trying to sound nonchalant.

Before you could respond, someone brushed past you, momentarily breaking the tension.

It was Clint, holding a bottle of rosé wine, with the kids trailing behind him. “No alcohol until you’re 21,” he announced, his tone firm but playful.

“But I am 22!” Kate argued.

Clint snorted. “Sure you are.”

As they disappeared into the kitchen, you turned your attention back to Natasha. Arching an eyebrow, you crossed your arms, your curiosity clearly not satisfied.

“Oh, great! There he is!” Natasha blurted, clinging to her flimsy excuse. She waved awkwardly in Clint’s general direction, desperate to change the subject. “Let me just—”

But as she began stepping down, her foot slipped on the edge of the chair. She let out a startled gasp as she lost her footing entirely.

”Oh my- Natasha!”

***

She even tried to gain support in enemy territory.

“Steve!” she called out. The man looked over at her and clearly tried to sneak off, but it was too late. “Just how many are there?” she asked, her desperation evident. So far, she’d removed eight mistletoes and had endured three risky situations where she’d practically had to run away from you.

“Of what?” Steve replied, taking a sip of his drink, feigning ignorance.

Natasha huffed, crossing her arms. “Please, let’s skip the act. I know you also took part in this.”

Steve remained silent, his expression unreadable but gullible. Natasha sighed in exasperation. “Come on, Steve, you’re the most reasonable one out of all of them. Just tell me where the rest of the mistletoes are!”

She could see the guilt on his face—he was clearly uncomfortable. Steve Rogers wasn’t a man who lied easily. As he opened his mouth, clearly about to crack, Sam and Wanda swooped in.

“What are we talking about?” Sam asked with a goofy smile, casually draping his arm around Steve’s shoulders as if shielding him from her interrogation.

Natasha’s left eye twitched. “You know exactly what, Wilson.”

“Hmm, do I?” Sam teased, his grin widening.

Natasha ignored him, focusing on her second-best shot, since it was clear Steve wouldn’t be of much use now.

“Wanda,” she said, turning to the witch, “how many mistletoes are there?”

Wanda shrugged, playing innocent.

“If you tell me…,” Natasha added, her voice turning sly, “I’ll lend you those boots of mine you like so much.”

Wanda hesitated at that, her composure faltering slightly. “… The ones with the metal buckles?”

“The ones with the metal buckles.”

Wanda’s eyes glinted with temptation as she weighed her options. But after a brief internal debate, she furrowed her brow and firmly shook her head and crossed her arms. “No. We’re doing this for your own good, Natasha.”

Natasha laughed forcefully, her expression taut with frustration. “For my own good? I’m losing my sanity over here, Wands.” Her tone was sharp, but her forced smile remained plastered on her face.

Just then, a voice cut through the air, making Natasha freeze.

“Have you guys seen Natasha? I swear I just keep losing track of her today,” you said, your voice light-hearted as you spoke to Bruce and Tony.

The group perked up at your words, and Natasha’s head snapped toward the sound of your voice. There you were, standing across the room, looking as radiant as ever as you chatted with the two men.

As Tony and Bruce were about to point in her direction, Natasha didn’t waste another second—she quickly ducked behind the rolling chocolate fountain cart, slipping out of sight just in the nick of time.

***

It all came down to the climax of the party. Most of the children were asleep by now, and only the closest circle remained. Natasha was exhausted but relieved. She had finally managed to get rid of all the mistletoes, even if, in doing so, she had humiliated herself in ways she hadn’t thought possible.

Now, she could finally relax and hang out with you. Or at least, that’s what she thought. A wolf whistle and cheers erupted from her friends, who had formed a circle outside on the terrace. Curious, she approached, only to regret it immediately as she was squashed between Steve and Bucky.

Her face went pale as she saw the final mistletoe, hanging right above you and a smug Carol Danvers. In her frantic pursuit of avoiding standing under a mistletoe with you, someone else had managed to get there before her. This outcome was far worse, and dread filled her as she watched the scene unfold.

She couldn’t stand it. The way Carol got closer with bravado and you, with a smile (it was more polite and friendly than anything, but at that moment she didn’t see it like that), made her heart drop.

The world once again slowed down, but this time it was for her and you. And she just couldn’t stand it. Shattering the slow-motion moment, her mouth and body moved faster than her mind.

“Wait! You’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe, not near it! I mean—look at that angle, it’s tilted and all wrong. Besides, is it me or are the leaves…wait, let me just scoot over here—” she muttered, pushing her way through the onlookers to get to the mistletoe. Everyone went quiet in surprise as she reached it and caressed the leaves. You just stared at her, but she seemed to pay no mind. “Ah, as I thought! These leaves are all dried. How about we replace it? Here, I know where we can find a suitable one. Will you come with me, Y/N?”

Without thinking, she took your hand and practically dragged you away, turning back toward the group. “We’ll be right back.”

Everyone remained quiet as they watched the two of you disappear.

***

“Here, let me just…” Natasha started, trying to find her card in her pockets. “Where did I—ah, here.”

With quick motions, she attempted to swipe the card to unlock her room. You stood behind her, watching her increasingly desperate attempts to open the door.

“Nat…” you started softly.

Chuckling awkwardly, she waited for the green light, but it still wasn’t processing for some reason. “These are so annoying. I keep insisting to Tony that he should just put in a code, but he doesn’t listen—”

“Nat.”

“Typical of him, I know. Let’s try again.” Waiting for the red light to turn off, she swiped again, and this time the light turned green. “There, finally.”

You tried calling her again, but she interrupted. “Sorry for the wait. There are some left in my room, let’s just pick one and…” She said, turning the handle and opening the door, knowing that all the stolen mistletoes were in the corner.

“Natasha!” You finally yelled, making her turn around with wild eyes. Uh oh, you almost called her Natasha.

Your face held no negative feelings, only the patience you were known for. “Nat.” Slowly, you grabbed her trembling hand and got a bit closer. Your worry made her squirm.

“What’s going on?” you started softly, as if trying not to scare her. The consideration and gentleness in your voice made her almost burst into tears. “You’ve been behaving… strange this entire party. Running around all over the place… avoiding me.” You whispered the last words, clearly pained, and her heart shattered.

The last thing she wanted was to make you feel bad. “Did I do something wrong?”

Your question was so raw, your expression vulnerable, and Natasha wanted nothing more than to wrap you in her arms, kiss you gently, and reassure you that you didn’t—couldn’t—do anything to upset her. But she couldn’t, and the knowledge of it broke a little bit more.

“No, no, of course not. It’s just—” She started, her words getting stuck in her throat, unsure of how to put them together. “The others decided to put the place swarming with mistletoes.”

You looked at her in confusion. “Okay…why?”

Refusing eye contact, Natasha took a deep breath, her heart pounding so loudly that she thought you could hear it. Without dropping your hand, she stepped a little closer, her legs slightly trembling. She figured the best thing to do was to just say it and get it over with. She had already been making a fool of herself the entire day. But saying it was harder than she thought it would be. The fear of rejection was suffocating her.

“Because…” Finally daring to look at you, her neck reddening all up to the point of her ears, being suddenly conscious of the warmth radiating. “Because they know how serious you are about superstitions. And that if we got caught under one, then I… then I would finally dare to kiss you.”

The admission came as a whisper, shame and embarrassment hitting her like never before. It was as if she was going to combust from the inside. A pause hung between the two of you, each second of it feeling like a stab straight to her chest.

She couldn’t even begin to imagine losing you. You had become so close this year, and to think that just a couple of silly words could ruin everything was killing her. Her eyes closed tightly, waiting for the worst—a rejection, disgust, or just pity. Any of these would shatter her.

But it never came. Instead, she felt warmth—a gentle caress on her cheek, you softly urging her to open her eyes and look at you. Your face was far from the rejecting one that Natasha’s brain had conjured. Instead, it was a reassuring one, with a bright smile like the one you first gave her the day you met, your eyes soft and bright under the lights.

She blinked, as if the soft touch had pulled her back from her darkest places. Her heart seemed to stop, no longer beating out of fear but for hope. Because as she studied you, she saw nothing but kindness and happiness.

“You… you’re not upset?” she asked, as if it were too good to be true.

Your smile widened, laughing softly under your breath at her surprise. “Nat, how could I ever be upset? I—” This time it was you who searched for the right words, your cheeks flushed with a lovely rosy color that Natasha couldn’t help but find fascinating. “How could I, when I’ve been waiting for you to do this for quite some time?”

Your admission hung in the air, like a symphony. Natasha could feel the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. “You have?”

“Of course I have.” You confessed, as if the question were ridiculous to even ask. “You’ve been everything my heart has been yearning for, Natasha.”

Natasha sure wasn’t a poet, but right now she was seeing the world as one. The way in which your words embraced her, your slightly dilated eyes looking at her as if she was the only one on your mind.

Was this what the others saw? The look she has been too oblivious to see?

She wanted to hit her head in frustration, all the time wasted because of her doubts. But she was free of them now, having you as her savior.

Getting closer, she dared to pull you closer by your waist, marveling at how it felt in tandem with her movements, as if you two had done this a thousand times before, in different lives, before this one.

“So… you’re telling me I made that champagne pyramid fall all over Fury for nothing?” she asked, as if it were a secret.

You laughed loudly at that, remembering the moment when Natasha stumbled all over the table later on in the evening. Everything seemed to make sense now.

“You know…” you started, the laughter dying down as you softly tucked a piece of Natasha’s hair behind her ear, your touch lingering on her jaw. “For someone so intelligent and charismatic, you sure are clumsy at times.”

Natasha huffed, rolling her eyes with an affectionate smile. “Only because you…” she started, but caught herself, her eyes slightly widening.

You arched an eyebrow. “Oh? Only because of that? Do I make you nervous, Romanoff?” You grinned, adoring the way she seemed lost for words.

Sputtering, she tried to defend herself, but someone beat her to it.

“Very much so!” Tony yelled.

Your eyes snapped toward him, only to see the team huddled up behind the corner.

You snickered, Natasha flustered. “What are you…? Go away!” She hesitated.

Tony smirked. “Not so fast, Romanoff! You have to kiss.”

Confused, she followed his hand motion, only to see a mistletoe floating with surrounding red magic.

“Damn it, Wanda��” she muttered, but you just laughed at your friend’s antics, hiding your face in her shoulder.

Natasha’s attention shifted back to you, her smile filled with adoration. Finally, you peered up at her.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to…” she started shyly, not wanting to pressure you into doing anything. But you only got closer to her.

“I don’t know, I think you do owe me a kiss,” you replied with a grin. “You know, to balance the universe.”

“Yeah…” she muttered, eyes lowering. “To balance the universe.” She reaffirmed, leaning down. But before her lips touched yours, she gripped you and dragged you both into her room, slamming the door shut. She ignored the muffled complaints heard from the hallway as she pinned you against it, wanting to have you all to herself.

Connecting her eyes with yours, she searched for any trace of doubt, but found nothing but darkened irises. Hesitation left her once and for all as she leaned in, her lips meeting yours. She sighed, and everything else seemed to fade into the distance.

The kiss was slow at first, gentle and tentative, giving you both time to discover each other. But the passion, held back for so long by insecurities and “what ifs,” broke free like a dam, intensifying everything tenfold. Her hand gripped your waist slightly harder, while one of your hands trailed up to her hair, tugging it just enough to make her shudder. Urgently, she pulled you even closer, as if afraid you might disappear.

Her breath quickened as she felt your body pressed against hers. The kiss deepened, turning frantic with all the pent-up desire. Suddenly, you tugged at her bottom lip, almost provocatively, as you looked up at her through your eyelashes. Natasha groaned, her heart racing. It was like seeing a whole new side of you, and she just couldn’t get enough.

Licking into your mouth, she hummed as your knees seemed to buckle, holding your hips to make sure you didn't fall. No, you weren’t going anywhere. Not when she finally had you in her arms.

You could feel the tension in her body as you traced her shoulders and back, her muscles tensing with every movement. It was as if she couldn’t get enough of you, kissing you—consuming you with everything she had.

It left you breathless. If anything, air became the only obstacle, the only force capable of separating you. Both gasping for breath, you didn’t dare to say anything for a moment, just taking in the overwhelming sensation of being so close, so lost in each other.

“You know, technically…” you started slowly, a playful smirk on your lips. “Technically, you interrupted my kiss with Carol before.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, her grip on you tightened, a small growl escaping her at the thought of anyone else getting the chance to do what you had just done. But you quickly calmed her, softly cupping the side of her face. “So, you owe me another kiss.”

She looked at you with darkened eyes, a mix of desire and challenge in her gaze. “I guess you’re right… We wouldn’t want to have bad luck.”

“Of course not,” you repeated, your lips brushing against hers as you gently guided her closer. “You know how superstitious I am.”

“Yes, I do,” she whispered, a teasing smile crossing her face as she closed the distance.

#mcu #natasha romanoff #fanfic #nat x reader #natasha x reader #fluff #oneshot #short prompt #christmas #reader insert #avengers #marvel blurb #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x reader

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sadbicth · 1 year ago

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israel posted a video of them giving water bottles to palestinians on a beach, then destroyed their luggage and shot at them after they stopped recording.

israel posted a photo of one of their soldiers "assisting" with an elderly man, then they shot him twice in the back and killed him.

in 2015, the idf posted pr photos of an israeli soldier giving water to an elderly palestinian woman, only for them to execute her after the photo was taken.

in 2005, an idf soldier emptied his rifle into a 13-year-old palestinian schoolgirl. he said he would have done the same thing if she was 3-years-old. he was acquitted of all charged.

israel claimed that hamas beheaded 40 israeli babies and then a month later cut off power to a palestinian hospital where premature babies were on incubators.

israel bombed a group of children collecting rainwater.

israel shot and killed two palestinian children playing with their scooter.

israel shot a hard of hearing girl in the face with a stun grenade and broke her jaw.

israel is using bombs with blades that are designed to cause maximum damage to the person in range.

israel forced medical workers at al-Nasr medical center to leave babies in incubators in order to evacuate the hospital they were bombing.

israel turned off power to hospitals in palestine, forcing nurses and doctors to use their phone flashlights when treating patients.

israel raised their flag over Al Shifa hospital.

israel has blown up the chambers of the palestinian legislative council.

israel targeted a "suspicious vehicle containing several terrorists”, meanwhile the only people in the car were three girls, ages 10, 12, and 14, their grandmother, and their mother. the only survivor was the three girls' mother.

israel planted a copy of mein kampf in a children's bedroom in a gazan house they claim hamas was hiding in.

israel poured fake blood onto the floor of an israeli child's bedroom and claimed hamas killed them.

israeli soldiers posted a video of them dancing on gazan graves.

israel posted a video showing a calendar in a palestinian children's hospital was a hamas guard list because it was written in arabic.

israel was using white phosphorus on hospitals.

israel bombed a refugee camp.

israel has burned olive trees in palestine.

israel has put cement into the water supply of palestine.

israel claimed that they found tunnels under Al Shifa hospital, only for it to be exposed that those tunnels are actually in sweden.

israel built a bunker and command room under Al Shifa hospital in 1983, only for them to now say that they are hamas tunnels.

israeli police arrested an israeli high school teacher, who posted on facebook expressing sympathy with palestinian civilians who have been killed.

israeli soldiers filmed themselves throwing a stun grenade into a palestinian mosque.

we are witnessing a genocide in real time framed under the guise of stopping hamas. israel has been terrorizing palestine for as long as israel has existed, but their access to technology and social media has made it much easier to fool people into supporting them.

meanwhile, noah schnapp is posting that zionism is sexy and celebrities are standing with israel. just absolutely twisted shit.

edit: for those who would like sources, my twitter is alliiesmith. i have retweeted everything i’ve mentioned. i apologize for not providing this sooner

edit 2: i’ve had some people in the replies and reposts pointing out that linking my twitter seems like promotion. i just wanted to clear up that that was not my intention. i’ve been retweeting resources and news much faster than i’m able to add to this post, and i thought that my twitter profile could be something of a hub for information. i don’t care if you follow me, but i think scrolling through and seeing what i’ve retweeted could be helpful.

#*#allie talks #israel palestine conflict #israel #idf #palestine #gaza #west bank #politics #current events

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batboyblog · 8 months ago

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What Joe Biden has Done for LGBTQ+ People

I wanted to list out everything The Biden Administration has done for Queer people in the last 3 and a half years, but according to GLAAD it'd been 337 moves (and I noticed they missed a few things...) there was just no way to list every ground breaking first Queer person ever nominated to fill this or that job, every ally with a historic LGBT rights record nominated for a top job, every beautiful statement of support, every time he tried to get Congress to pass the Equality Act (support it!) So I've gone through and done my best to pick the ones I think were the most important, but everyone should check out the full list!

Day 1: Signs executive orders banning discrimination and ordering a full review of all federal agencies policies to better include and support LGBT people

Pete Buttigieg becomes the first openly gay person nominated and confirmed for a cabinet level post as Secretary of Transportation

Revokes Trump’s 2018 ban on transgender military personnel

Department of Housing and Urban Development implements LGBTQ protections in housing, becoming first federal agency to implement Pres. Biden’s executive order

First President to recognize and proclaim Trans Day of Visibility

Department of Justice Civil Rights Division issues an official memo that the Supreme Court's Bostock decision against LGBT workplace discrimination also applies to education through Title IX

HUD withdraws a Trump Administration proposed rule change, and reaffirms trans people's rights to seek shelters matching their gender identity

HHS announces the withdrawal of Trump Administration rules that allowed discrimination by healthcare organizations against LGBT people.

The State Department and later Homeland Security announce babies born to Queer couples overseas will be American citizens if one parent is American, in the past the child only qualified if they were genetically related to the American citizen parent.

The Justice Department files against a West Virginia law banning trans students from school athletics

Department of Veterans Affairs announces it will offer gender confirming surgery for transgender veterans. There are an estimated 134,000 transgender veterans in the U.S. and another 15,000 transgender people serving in the armed forces.

President Biden Signs a law making the Pulse Night Club a national memorial

The State Department creates an X gender marker for passports and other documents, allowing gender affirming identification for non-binary and intersex people for the first time.

The Census Bureau for the first time issues a Survey with questions about sexual orientation and gender identity

On the 10th anniversary of the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Veterans Administration announces that soldiers discharged for homosexual conduct, gender identity or HIV status qualify for veterans' benefits

Dr. Rachel Levine becomes the first trans person confirmed by the US Senate when she was nominated to be Assistant Secretary for Health, she also became the first trans flag rank officer when she was sworn in as a 4 star Admiral for her job as head of the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, his makes her the highest ranked trans person in government

Holds the first ever vigil in the White House for Transgender Day of Remembrance

HHS announces rule change to reinstate and expand protections against discrimination in the Affordable Care Act, including denying coverage for gender-affirming care.

Social Security Administration reverses a Trump Administration policy and allows benefits claims by surviving partners in same-sex relationships, whose partner died before marriage equality was legal

President Biden signs the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (a bill he helped originally craft in the Senate) which for the first time has grant programs dedicated to expanding and developing initiatives specifically for LGBTQ survivors of domestic violence

The TSA announces new technology and policy shifts to improve the customer experience of transgender travelers who have previously been required to undergo additional screening due to alarms in sensitive areas.

The Social Security Administration allows people to edit their gender and name on records for the first time without legal and medical documentation

The US Air Force announces it'll offer medical and legal aid to any personnel families affected by state level anti-trans youth bills.

Karine Jean-Pierre becomes the first Lesbian to serve as White House Press Secretary

on 50th anniversary of Title IX The Department of Ed strengthens protections for Students against sexual harassment and discrimination

Veterans Affairs announces survivor benefits now extended to partners from relationships before marriage equality was legalized in 2015

President Biden signs the Respect for Marriage Act into law enshrining protections for marriage equality for same-sex and interracial couples

The Department of Ed announces new rules around athletic eligibility under Title IX, declaring blanket bans on trans students violate the law and setting up strike standards for schools

The White House announced a suit of new protections for LGBTQ people, including a new job at the Department of Ed to combat book bans, a joint DoJ Homeland Security effort to combat violence and threats and HHS evidence-based guidance to mental health providers for care of transgender kids

President Biden signs an Executive Order directing HHS to protect LGBTQI+ youth in the foster care system, a rule they later passed requiring Queer foster children to be placed in affirming homes

The Biden administration joins families of transgender youth in Tennessee and Kentucky in petitioning the U.S. Supreme Court to review and reverse a circuit court ruling allowing a ban on mainstream health care to be enforced

President Biden Signs a EO expanding on past EO on equality and helping underserved communities

The Department of Education's Civil Rights office opens an investigation into the death of Nex Benedict. President Biden in his statement said: "Every young person deserves to have the fundamental right and freedom to be who they are, and feel safe and supported at school and in their communities. Nex Benedict, a kid who just wanted to be accepted, should still be here with us today. Nonbinary and transgender people are some of the bravest Americans I know. But nobody should have to be brave just to be themselves. In memory of Nex, we must all recommit to our work to end discrimination and address the suicide crisis impacting too many nonbinary and transgender children.”

#Joe Biden #Thanks Biden #pride #pride month #politics #US politics #LGBT #LGBTQ #Queer #Trans #gay #civil rights #there's a lot more

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inky-duchess · 18 days ago

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Fantasy Guide to the Army

I have been asked to do this post for quite a long while and I finally got around to it. This guide is a basic guide, you may need to do further research into specific armies across the world. Armies are a necessary part to any world building, so what do we need to know about them?

(PS I had planned to include air force and navy but I am just one person and I cut myself, and the read more link, some slack)

Ranks

Field Marshal (FM) The Field Marshal is the highest rank of within the Army. The rank of Field Marshal was often granted in times of war (a general must have committed an act of valour, i.e. a victory). The rank can sometimes be used as a divisional command rank or brigade command. The UK, Austria-Hungary, Afghanistan, Germany, India, and Pakistan use the rank as a reward for achievement. Spain and Mexico use it for divisional command while countries such as Portugal, France and Brazil for use it for brigade command. The rank of Field Marshal is a "five star" position. The rank does not exist in the US army. They are addressed as Field Marshal Surname. Their insignia is two crossed batons surrounded by yellow leaves set under a crown.

General (Gen.) A General is the commanding officer of an army or army corps. It is currently the highest rank granted in most armies today, it is a 4 star position. A General is in charge of commanding large units, they are in charge of making strategic decisions for the army, oversee major military operations, manage the needs of the army. They are addressed as General Surname. Their insignia is four stars (US, France, Germany, Russia) and a sword and baton crossed under a crown and a star (UK). Lieutenant General (Lt.Gen) Lieutenant General commands an army corps or a division (tens of thousands of soldiers). They are also involved in strategic planning. They also hold positions within the Ministry of Defence/Equivalents. They would often serve as advisers to the government and aid Generals. It is a 3 star position and they addressed as Lieutenant General Surname. Their insignia is three stars (US, Germany, France, Russia) and a crossed sword and baton under a crown (UK)

Major General (Maj.Gen) Major General is a general officer in the army, responsible for leading and operational roles. They would command divisions of tens of thousands of soldiers. They support the officers above them, helping with strategy, executing the strategy, oversee the training of their units. They are addressed as Major General Surname. They are a 2 star position. Their insignia is a crossed sword and baton with a star (UK) and two stars (US, Germany, Russia, France). Brigadier General (Brig.Gen) Brigadier General is a one-star general officer in the army. They command brigades (3,000 to 5,000 soldiers), assisting Major Generals in tactical planning and coordination of operations. They are addressed as Brigadier General Surname. Their insignia is one star (Russia, Germany, US,), two silver stars (France) and s crown and three stars (for the UK, stars are known as pips). Colonel (Col) Colonels command brigades of about (3,000 to 5,000 soldiers), they are senior staff officers who both provide leadership to their units which are sometimes specialised agencies, such as task forces. Colonels are addressed as Colonel Surname. A silver eagle (US), a pair of diamond pips under a crown (UK), three silver pips upon shoulder braid with silver braid (Germany), three gold pips on a shoulder board with golden braid (France and Russia). Major (Maj) Majors command units of around 120 officers. They are in charge of the training and welfare of their soldiers, administrative duties within the barracks and within their unit. They are the primary staff officer in brigades. They assist superior officers in planning and executing missions and tactical plans. The Major is referred to as Major Surname. Their insignia is 2 gold stars on a shoulder board with golden braid (Russia, France) 2 silver pips on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), a crown (UK), a golden oak leaf (US)

Captain (Cpt) Captains lead companies usually around 50-200 soldiers. They are often the second officer in a company working alongside a superior officer. They are responsible for operations in the field such as ensuring equipment is kept up to date and in good condition, offering logistic support, and managing their troops. Captains are addressed as Captain Surname. Their insignia is two silver bars (US), three pips (UK), three silver pips on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), three golden pips on a shoulder board with gold braid (France, Russia) Lieutenant (Lt) Lieutenants command a platoon (about 30 odd soldiers). They are in charge of overseeing the training and discipline of their soldiers along with ensuring their welfare. They will participate in missions under the command of a superior. Lieutenants are addressed as Lieutenant Surname. Their insignia is two golden stars on a shoulder board with gold braid (Russia, France), two silver pips on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), two pips (UK), one silver bar (US) Second Lieutenant (2/Lt) The Second Lieutenant leads smaller units, working with enlisted soldiers. They are crucial in the training of soldiers, they maintaining personnel records and manage the resources needed for a mission or the units welfare. They would be addressed in conversation as Lieutenant but referred to as Second Lieutenant in dispatches and in correspondence. Their insignia is one gold bar (US), one pip (UK), one silver pip on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), one gold pip on a shoulder board with gold braid (Russia, France)

Enlisted Men

Warrant Officer 1st Class (1/WO)This is the most senior non-commissioned rank. They focus on discipline, prisoners, ammunition supplies and various technical and non-combatant services. In the UK, they often hold the rank of Regimental Sergeant Majors (RSMs) and are appointed by the Secretary of State Defence while in the US, the Secretary of the Army appoints them. They are addressed as Mr/Ms/Mrs Surname or Chief. Their insignia is one silver bar and a black square (US), the royal coat of arms (UK), four silver pips on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), three gold chevrons and a gold star (France), two gold stars on a shoulder board with golden braid (Russia) Warrant Officer 2nd Class (2/WO) The Warrant Officer Second Class would do similar jobs as the WO1, but they handle the below regimental section. Warrant Officer Class 1 (WO1). WO2s can be referred to as Company Sergeant Majors (CSMs) or Squadron Sergeant Majors (SSMs) (depending on their unit). They take roles within training, discipline and aiding the Warrant Officer Class 1 (WO1). Addressed as CSMs/SSMs and as Mr./Mrs/Ms. Their insignia is one gold star on a shoulder board with gold braid (Russia), Three golden chevrons (France), three silver pips on a shoulder board with silver braid (Germany), crown (UK), silver bar with two squares (US). Sergeant (Sgt)The Sergeant are responsible for the soldiers under their command. They oversee their team, acting as mentors and supervisors to their soldiers. Sergeants are over a squad of 10 soldiers. They are responsible them, from performance, prepare them for combat and their needs. They are addressed as Sergeant Surname. Their insignia is three chevrons (US, UK), two silver pips on a shoulder board with silver pips (Germany), two golden chevrons (France) and three golden chevrons (Russia). Corporal (Cpl)Corporals lead small squads of soldiers, no more than . Corporals are in charge of the training of their soldiers and ensuring that they are up to standard. They handle all the paperwork for their squad such as records. Corporals will accompany their soldiers on missions, leading patrols and overseeing their soldiers in the field. They are usually responsible for large pieces of equipment. They are addressed as Corporal Surname. Their insignia two chevrons (US, UK), one silver pips with shoulder board with a silver braid (Germany), two gold chevron (France, Russia). Lance Corporal (L.Cpl)Lance Corporals help Corporals lead their teams, acting as their second in command. They are in charge of disciplining, mentoring and leading their squads. They are also in charge of large weapons. They are addressed as Lance Corporal Surname. Their insignia one golden chevron (Russia, France), none/one silver pip (Germany), one chevron (UK) and one chevron with crossed rifles (US) Private (Pte)Privates are the lowest rank in the army. They will have just come out of training with the basic skills of a soldier. Privates are given tasks by superior officers, must obey the orders given and are usually given the more hands-on tasks, such as maintenance of weapons and their camp. They are addressed as Private Surname. Their insignia is one chevron/none (US), no insignia (UK, France, Russia, Germany).

Non-Commissioned Officers vs Commissioned Officers

You may have often heard the term "non-commissioned officer" if you have ever watched any war media. The difference is that Commissioned Officers receive their rank via a formal document signed by a high-ranking official, such as the monarch or a political leader. The Commissioned Officers are usually Lieutenants, Colonels, Generals, Captains, Majors. They are responsible for giving orders and making decisions. Non-Commissioned Officers are promoted from the enlisted ranks, gaining their promotion on skills alone. They are in charge of discipline, training and carrying out orders. They are usually ranked among Corporals and Sergeants.

Jobs within the Army

No army is just made up of officers and their soldiers. An army is like a town on the move, there are hundreds of different tasks that must be undertaken to ensure the army is fed, transported, kept in line and kept equipped.

Medic: Medics are the first responders for wounded soldiers, they administer first aid, medication and medical care to the soldiers in their unit. Medics are usually NCOs.

Chaplain: Is a soldier with some religious or spiritual calling that administers last rites, confession, spiritual guidance and solace for soldiers. They will see to soldiers of all creeds and faiths.

Artillery Crew: The Artillery Crew handle the maintenance and inventory of artillery weapons and related equipment. NCOs with training in the handling of artillery.

Military Police: The Military Police are force within the army that keep soldiers in line, maintain order and arrest any soldier caught doing a crime on the job. Always NCOs.

Intelligence: This is the information post, which involves fact gathering, recording and study of information needed by the army to mobilise.

Quartermaster: The quartermaster manages the distribution and gathering of all the things needed for the army from uniforms to equipment for the soldier's packs. Usually NCOs.

Mess Officer: The Mess Officer oversees the Mess Hall, managing the staff as they cook and prepare the army's meals. The Mess Officer would also be in charge of budgeting, inventory, health and safety and providing meals timely. Usually an officer, Captains and Lieutenants.

Adjutant: Is an officer who acts as an assistance to a superior officer taking on secretarial duties such as paperwork and arranging their diary. Usually a Captain or a Major.

Combat Engineer: The Combat Engineer is in charge of maintaining and building fortifications. NCOs with specialised skills in the field.

Logistics: Logistic Specialists handle the supplies, equipment and arranging transportation. NCOs.

Armourer: The armourer is in charge of weapons and ammunition. They handle any repairs needed and see to the safe storing of these valuable items. NCOs.

Communications Specialist: These Specialists handle communications, the communication equipment and its maintenance. NCOs usually with previous experience or training.

Mechanics: Mechanics are in charge of the maintenance of vehicles and machinery. They handle repairs, do check ups, offer support in the field and ensure everything is in good shape. NCOs with training and skills in the area.

Equipment

The soldiers will not be going into any situation without equipment - at least, not at first. Equipment is like gold dust in the field, especially if a unit is within enemy territory or the supply chain cannot be relied upon. Soldiers may often turn to thievery in order to resupply themselves with ammunition, weapons, supplies and even boots. In WWII, the newly formed company the Special Air Service - the SAS - actually raided their allies for supplies.

The soldier would carry essential supplies when they are first deployed. These would include (may vary):

Flasks/Canteen: Or some sort of drinking container. A soldier will need to hydrate if they don't wish to die-dydrate on a long march. They may also carry water purification chemicals such as iodine.

First Aid Kits: All soldiers will carry the basics of a first aid kit. This would include bandages, gauze, burn ointment, tourniquet, pain relief (not the good stuff), scissors and tweezers.

Knife: It is always handy to have something to cut things with.

Gun Cleaning Tools: Soldiers will have the equipment to care for their weapons. An uncared for weapon is an invitation for death.

Ammunition: A soldier would carry ammunition with them.

Entrenching Equipment: Something to dig with, usually a collapsible shovel.

Rations: Soldiers may often carry some sort of food with them, usually of the preserved kind.

Some form of shelter: Soldiers may carry something to shelter themselves such as a sleeping bag, a tent, a blanket.

Signal Mirror: Soldiers carry signal mirrors to send visual signals to communicate with others.

Toiletries: Basic hygiene items.

Weaponry

Soldiers will not only just need equipment to survive on the field. Soldiers will carry all sorts of weapons on them. It was up to the soldier to care for the weapon and ensure it is up to scratch. Ammunition, of course, doesn’t grow on trees and nor do weapons. Weapons and ammunition like supply I mentioned above could often be “liberated” from the enemy or even unwitting allies. Every soldier will carry:

A rifle: This is the long-range weapon carried by almost all soldiers. They will use this in combat, especially if fighting from a fixed position.

A handgun or a pistol: Most soldiers will carry a secondary gun. These guns are useful in tight spaces or close combat.

Bayonet: A knife or blade that is attached to the rifle. This allows a soldier to stab the enemy with their rifle.

Combat Knife: A knife used in combat.

Mortar: This is a short-barrelled artillery piece. It is used to fire shells at steep angles.

Hand Grenades: These are handheld explosives carried by soldiers. They have a delayed fuse, meaning that they are useful as both a long-range weapon and as a close-range weapon – one could leave one behind as a present. They are typically activated by pulling the pin, flinging it away from the body, toward the enemy and denoted.

Uniforms

Above in rankings, we went through the insignia which is the symbols on one's uniform that denotes your rank and place in the hierarchy of things. Soldiers will be inspected every day to ensure their uniforms are up to standard and will face the wrath of superiors if their uniforms are unkempt and their appearance not up to the mark. Every private learns how to shine their own boots, sort out their own uniforms and are responsible for looking their best. There are different kinds of uniform for a soldier.

Casual Uniform: This uniform is comprised of a more casual uniform, made up of a tunic/shirt, trousers and boots. Certain units will wear caps and berets denoting their unit and rank as well. Combat Uniform: This is worn on the field. It will often reflect the climate the soldier is going into, so will be light and heavy depending on the weather. A soldier would wear a combat jacket, trousers, wear a helmet, wear their identification tags/dog tags. These would be in mute colours, usually khaki or camouflage. Service Dress Uniform: This is worn during official duties and formal events. It comprises of a dress shirt, tie, peaked cap/beret, creased trousers and a jacket with their insignia, unit symbols and medals. Dress Uniform: This is worn during very formal ceremonies. A formal jacket pinned with ribbons, embroidered insignia and the medals of their achievements and commendations, creased trousers, dress shirt and tie, polished shoes and a formal hat cap/beret.

Life of a soldier (On Base and in the Field)

Soldiers on active duty will be expected to manage many tasks, not just firing at the enemy or storming enemy beaches. Soldiers are expected to fulfil maintenance work, defence, offence, administrative duties (if needed), engineering and communications.

On Base: A soldier’s day will be planned right down to the second. They will get up at a certain time, have an allotted time to get ready and tidy up their bunk, report to various drills and participate and have a list of duties to undertake within the day. These duties involve maintenance on base, helping with any office work, guarding and patrolling, doing specialised tasks such as helping in the infirmary. Most privates will do the grunt work, anything hands on or labour intensive while officers will see to training soldiers or paperwork or supply management.

In the Field: The life of a soldier in the field wasn’t as regimented as on base – it can’t be, since most soldiers won’t have the exact same day especially in battle or marching from place to place. But every soldier will have certain duties to undertake. Of course, fighting will be included, some soldiers would take it in shifts to man a fixed position or to engage the enemy or to participate in missions into new or enemy territory. Soldiers would take their place “out on the line”, patrolling the edges of their camp to ensure they can’t be crept up on. Soldiers will erect camp every night they aren’t marching which includes the putting up of tents, digging of latrine pits, building fortifications. Soldiers not out on the line or engaging the enemy will spend their time at camp either helping in the mess hall, in the infirmary or keeping the camp ship-shape. Soldiers may often be sent out to “forage” (*cough, cough* steal) whatever they need such as food.

The Realities of the Army

Good vs Evil. Yes, sometimes the army are the heroes. But in reality, war is a grey area. No army in the world is wholly bad or innocent. Every single army on earth has committed war crimes and every army has had to make decisions which some would find morally reprehensible. The point is that painting an army as the good guys or the bad guys in your narrative can’t work because it isn’t realistic. You can of course highlight these issues by the actions of a few soldiers while still retaining the antagonists and the heroes. You can of course pit the ideals of both sides in a war together, to firmly push your reader toward the good guys vs the bad guys. But the reality is a simple one: all armies kill, all armies steal and all armies destroy.

Civilian vs Soldier: The Reality Civilians suffer at the hands of their own army as well as the enemy. Civilians often had to deal with soldiers taking their crops, livestock and overtaking their homes in searches for food, shelter and resources. Enemy civilians would also put up with pillaging, looting and in some cases death, assault and sexual abuse. It is of course against protocol to harm civilians but things do happen in theatres of war.

The Army vs the Soldier

While the army expects a lot out of the soldier as an induvial, the army can often fall short of their duties to that soldier. This can be unintentional, for example supplies can get lost or stolen. But there are instances where soldiers and their needs are sacrificed for the greater good. They maybe passed over for supplies or reinforcements for another unit. They may be placed in difficult circumstances without any hope of relief. They may not have the equipment needed to fight their battle or stay alive. Sometimes, armies even shot their own soldiers for insubordination, ex. In WW1, many soldiers on all sides were shot by their own for “cowardice” – this may have been the case, but some cases involved soldiers who were suffering from PTSD.

Choice vs Obligation vs Threat Why do soldiers fight? What makes somebody join the army? Sometimes it is the search of opportunity, of a place, of rank and a purpose. But sometimes, going to war isn’t the choice of the soldier. Drafts and conscription make military service compulsory for certain age groups and genders. In peacetime, soldiers are enlisted voluntarily in most armies while some countries have compulsory service time even in times of peace. In some wars, criminals in prison were offered the chance to serve in the war as penance for their crimes. There are of course instances when one is threatened or forced into an armed force.

The Effects of War on the Soldier War changes people. The things soldiers see and have to do within war and training will inevitably change them as people. Sometimes, the change is positive, the army has been named by many people as the thing that straightened them out and have them structure. The army sometimes allows soldiers to travel and gain access to opportunities and education that they may never have had access to before. But undeniably, war has negatives effects on soldiers and civilians. Soldiers may suffer from PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts and feel a disconnect between themselves and their old lives. Soldiers often find it hard to return to their life after the war, especially in radically different settings with people who don’t understand what they have been through. This can lead to substance abuse issues, alcoholism, problems with the law and troubles within relationships among family and romantic partners. Soldiers of course can get injuries while in war or even in training. Loss of limbs, damage to the brain and other organs, broken bones, burns, shrapnel injuries and of course gunshot wounds are all common. Soldiers often get ill while in the field, such illnesses including typhoid, hypothermia, trench foot, dysentery, malaria, pneumonia etc. These are caused by the close living quarters and the often-sub-standard living conditions. Soldiers would often be at risk for pests such as lice and fleas because of their living conditions. Soldiers may often face problems with nutrition, might suffer from dehydration and starvation especially if supplies are scarce.

The Geneva Convention

Your world may not include the Geneva Convention, may pre-date the Geneva Convention or Geneva may not be a place within your WIP, but I include this here so you might have a fair idea about the “rules” of modern warfare. This is just a brief version.

Medical personnel are not to be specifically targeted in operations.

Medical facilities and equipment is not be targeted in operations

Any wounded soldiers or civilians are to be treated, despite allegiance.

Prisoners cannot be tortured or harmed in any way

Prisoners must be fed, well-kept and treated for any injury

Prisoners are not under obligation to tell their captors anything but their name, rank and other personal information – this is so they can be recorded and all information must be recorded and sent to the captured soldier's officers

Prisoners must be allowed to communicate with family and friends.

Prisoners have the right to receive any packages or mail.

Prisoners have the right to access the services of the Red Cross, who cannot be prevented from visiting and inspecting them

Prisoners who are seriously wounded or ill must be released

Any religious figures are to be captured and released as soon as possible

Soldiers cannot take hostages, they cannot pillage, they cannot take slaves.

Soldiers must abstain from humiliating and degrading any captured soldiers or civilians.

Reprisals against civilians and other soldiers are forbidden.

Group punishment is not permitted (Yes, that one teacher did break the Geneva Convention)

Prisoners can be tried by their captors, but they are entitled to a fair trial.

All POWs shall be released at the end of conflict

At sea, hospital ships cannot engage in war.

Any shipwrecked crew on a ship must be rescued despite allegiance.

Children, pregnant women, mothers with very young children, the elderly, the sick and wounded who are imprisoned for a long time, must be released as soon as possible.

Surrendering soldiers, civilians and civilians who participate in acts against an army cannot be harmed and must be taken alive.

The use of weapons to cause suffering, say a non-fatal wound or mutilation is prohibited.

It outlaws indiscriminate attacks on civilian populations and destruction of food, water and other materials needed for survival.

The destruction of resources that could affect the population such as poisoning the water supply is not permitted.

Certain infrastructure cannot be destroyed or targeted. This includes dams and nuclear stations. Cultural landmarks and religious landmarks are also to be spared.

Recruitment of children into the armed forces is prohibited.

The use of certain symbols such as the Red Cross in order to deceive the enemy is prohibited.

Civilians who do not take part in combat are to be treated respectfully. They are protected from violence from soldiers.

Children and vulnerable people are top-priority to be evacuated to safe havens as soon as possible. All efforts will be made to reunite them with family.

The targeting of civilians and anything that sustains their well-being such as food sources is prohibited.

Military Terminology

This is by no means a full list but these are the most commonly used terms.

Boots on the ground – to physically be in a location

Inspection - a superior officer takes formal note of appearance, condition of living area and weapons.

Drill – a practise in various manoeuvres, marches, procedures

Pass - leave to have some free time, sometimes off base.

Off base - away from military barracks

Tour of duty – the period of time which an action is completed in.

Civvies – Civilian clothing

Detail - a specific task undertaken by a unit or soldier

Mess hall - dining facility

Latrine - toilet

Latrine duty - digging a Latrine pit or cleaning the facility

Flanking - Attacking an enemy formation from the sides

Envelopment - surrounding the enemy from multiple sides

Penetration - breaking past the enemy’s front lines

Reconnaissance by Fire - Firing at positions that may be occupied by the enemy to provoke them into returning fire (so you know where they are)

Ambush - Attacking from concealed position

Retreat - go back the way you came (DO NOT COLLECT €200)

Feigned Retreat - Pretending to retreat and then attacking the enemy

Perimeter - boundary of fortified area

No Man's Land - the space between front lines

Contact line - where opposing sides meet to fight

Supply line - the route the supplies get from base to the field.

Front line - the furthest out troops are place on the line, this is where the most intense fighting happens

Barracks - sleeping quarters in base

Foxhole - a dug position in the ground

Combatant: A person actively engaged in fighting.

Non-combatant: A person not engaged in a conflict.

Civilian: Somebody who is not a member of any military unit.

Militia: Civilians who are armed and trained to fight.

Guerrilla: Small, independent units that takes up arms against an armed force. Very effective.

Saboteur: Somebody who deliberately sabotages equipment and supplies.

Spy: Somebody who gathers information about the enemy.

Operative: A soldier who carries out a specific task.

Mercenary: A soldier for hire

Contractor: A person or a group of people who are hired to provide advice, services and additional support to the army and their operations.

Conscription: Compulsory enlistment.

Enlistment: Joining the army.

Exercise: Simulated military practises or manoeuvres for training.

War game: Simulated war fare for training.

Mission: The operation.

Objective/Target: The objective of the mission.

Campaign: Multiple operations.

Down Range – being within the combat zone

In-Country – being within in a war zone

Quarters – can mean one of two things either it is a medic's order to stay in the camp or barracks or military family housing.

Squared away - to fix

Siege: Where one army sits outside a fortified town or position and tries to claim it.

Convoy: A large group of vehicles such as trucks, jeeps and tanks travel together. It is harder to target more than one vehicle.

Escort: More vehicles and soldiers who accompany a convoy.

Strike/Assault: Attacking the enemy.

Counterattack: An attack to respond to a previous attack

Rear: Behind the formation

Front: Before the formation.

Line: The formation.

Column: The formation in a line.

Formation: The arrangement of soldiers

Deployment: Soldiers moving to a position.

Redeployment: Sending soldiers to another position.

Mobilization: Readying soldiers, their supplies and equipment for deployment.

Demobilization: The disbanding of soldiers after an operation.

Reserve: Soldiers and equipment held back. This is usually to conserve soldiers and supplies for emergencies or shortages.

Reinforcement: More soldiers and equipment sent to the soldiers on the line to bulster their efforts.

Casualty: Death, injury, missing.

KIA: Killed in action.

MIA: Missing in action.

Surrender: Yielding to the enemy.

Ceasefire: An agreement to cease hostilities.

Armistice: A temporary stay of fighting.

Battalion: A large unit of soldiers. Usually in the range of 300 upwards to 800 or so soldiers.

Regiment: A unit made up of several battalions.

Division: A military unit (10,000-20,000)

Corps: A unit, (20,000-50,000)

Theatre: The place where military operations are undertaken.

Engagement: A battle or a conflict with the enemy.

Manoeuvre: Planned movement.

Logistics: The planning of moving soldiers and equipment to soldiers.

Ordnance: Supplies.

Artillery: Large-calibre firearms.

Infantry: Soldiers who fight on foot.

Reconnaissance: Gaining information about the enemy and their positions.

Tactical: Planning and implementation the military strategies.

Strategic: Planning and directing strategies.

Operational: The following through of military operations.

Command/Control: The authority to direct military operations.

Communications: The passing of information between units, base and HQ.

HQ: Head Quarters

Intelligence: Information about the enemy

Counterintelligence: Preventing the enemy from gaining information about the army, such as the famous Operation Mincemeat.

Camouflage: The use of material or paint to hide oneself from one’s enemy.

Fortification: Defensive structure

Entrenchment: Digging trenches or foxholes.

Garrison: Military station.

Bivouac: A temporary camp, but this camp is without no cover. This means no tents or shelter.

Dog Tags - Metal identification tags worn by soldiers

Patrol: Soldiers will leave camp or their positions to walk within their boundaries

Raid: Attacking on the enemy’s position.

Zero Dark Thirty - Early as fuck, from 0100 hrs to sunrise.

Copy - I understand

Unit - can mean any organisation in the military

Platoon - a section within a company made up of 30-50 soldiers

Contact - Engaging with the enemy

Tactically Acquired - Stolen

Squad - a smaller faction of a company

CO - Commanding officer

XO - second in command

Hang Fire - wait for the next set of orders

Demilitarized Zone - a place that is no go for military equipment, weapons and soldiers

AWOL - Absent without leave

PT - Physical Training

Skivvies - ones undergarments

Active Duty - Full time duty in active service

As You Were - Go back doing whatever you were doing or standing how you were standing

BOLO - Be on the Lookout

CP - checkpoint

Bunk - Bed

Ruck - backpack

Smoked - physical punishment for an infraction.

Zone of Action - a specific part of the tactical area.

About face - a manoeuvre where a someone or a group turn to face the opposite direction.

POW - Prisoner of War

POW Camp - facility to house POWs

Halt - stop marching/moving

Present Arms - salute, typically by presenting one's weapon or raising the right hand to the forehead

Parade Rest - stand with one's feet shoulder-width apart, hands folded behind their back

Fall out - break formation

Fall in - get into formation

At ease - stand in a more relaxed position

Attention - stand upright, heels together, back straight, shoulders back, arms at the sides.

Books and Media I recommend

Band of Brothers (HBO, Limited Series)

Beyond Band of Brothers by Dick Winters

Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose

M*A*S*H

The Unwomanly Face of War by Svetlana Alexievich

Lady Death: The Memoirs of Stalin's Sniper by Lyudmila Pavlichenko

The Six Triple Eight

Some Desperate Glory: The First World War the Poets Knew by Max Egremont

Poems of the Great War 1914-18

Poems of the Great War by Wilfred Owen

Poems of the Great War by Siegfried Sassoon

Poems of the Great War by Robert Graves

Poems of the Great War by Rupert Brooke

Poems of the Great War by David Jones

SAS Rogue Heroes (BBC)

SAS: Rogue Heroes: The Authorised Wartime History by Ben MacIntyre

Saving Private Ryan

All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

All Quiet on the Western Front

Private Peaceful by Michael Mupurgo

War Horse by Michael Mupurgo

Road to War by Valerie Wilding

The Trenches by Jim Elderidge

D-Day by Byran Perett

D-Day by Ben MacIntyre

Japan's Pacific War by Peter Williams

Operation Mincemeat by Ben MacIntyre

War Nurse by Sue Reid

Helmet for my Pillow by Robert Leckie

With the Old Breed by Eugene B Sledge

Hacksaw Ridge

D-Day Through German Eyes: How the Wehrmacht Lost France by Jonathan Trigg

Platoon

Britain’s Secret Defences: Civilian saboteurs, spies and assassins during the Second World War by Andrew Chatterton

If You're Reading This...: Last Letters from the Front Line by Sian Price

A Bridge Too Far

Firepower in Limited War by Robert Scales

Storm of Steel by Ernst Jünger

Dunkirk

The Things They Cannot Say: Stories Soldiers Won't Tell You About What They've Seen, Done or Failed to Do in War by Kevin Sites

1917

On Artillery by Bruce Gudmundsson

Letters From Iwo Jima

Das Boot

The Longest Day

Come and See

War Horse

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goatsorcery · 2 years ago

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the criteria for what is considered “lazy” is vastly different depending on your place in society

my boss wasn’t considered “lazy” even when he had me pick up his personal mail from his house to send to the post office, or had me pick out birthday/baby shower gifts for his friends. but i was considered lazy when i didn’t immediately respond to his texts and emails on the weekends

my boss wasn’t considered “lazy” even when she wanted the software we used for tracking statistics to automatically make reports (so she could make money without doing any work), or when she spent all day online shopping while i was left to do the actual work. but i was considered lazy for taking lunch breaks and misplacing some numbers on a draft of a spreadsheet

my boss wasn’t considered “lazy” even when she would spend all working hours planning her wedding (even during meal rushes), or when she refused to replace old equipment that hardly worked and created health hazards for both workers and customers just so she could get a bonus check at the end of the year. but my co-workers and i were considered lazy if we leaned against the counter for more than a minute despite working 8+ hour shifts

#lazy is just a societal concept #its also a symptom not a problem within itself #if someone is considered 'lazy' usually there is something causing them to perform in a way that people label as 'lazy'#even in my examples the problem is not that my bosses were 'lazy' its the double standard they created #they were neglectful entitled and in two cases were born rich and never had to work for their money #also industry standards #as an executive assistant i pretty much had to entertain my bosses' every whim because that was the job description #walk to his house because i dont have a car just to pick up his mail to walk it to the post office to mail it #and having to spend my own money for the postage #thats just hollywood babey

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paradisewithinpain · 4 months ago

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my take on "the hero would sacrifice you to save the world but the villain would sacrifice the world to save you" & tf141....

DARK THEMES, PLEASE BE WARNED

we all know these men are soldiers through and through. they put their lives on the line for the good of the world and they do it no questions asked.

but when it comes to you?

fuck that

there is nothing, and i mean nothing, that will stop these boys from keeping you alive and happy.

JOHN PRICE knows the power he holds. he knows the respect and fear that ranks both above and below him have for him. he knows that and he's going to abuse it when it comes to you.

you come to base and someone's bothering you? they're answering to a pissed off captain who doesn't give two shits about the morality of his punishment. as long as his love is happy, he's happy.

and who cares if he sends that idiot of a soldier into a situation where he's sure there's a good chance he won't make it out? price claims it to be "good experience". no one but him needs to know that it's more of an execution than anything

SIMON RILEY is the guard dog you never thought you'd need but boy are you glad you have him. walking places is a mindless activity knowing you have a giant of a man watching every single moving thing that enters your presence.

he was a weapon of mass destruction when he wanted to he. and when you came home crying, telling him about the store clerk who yelled at you because you tried to them that they over charged you for an item, he knew that his brute strength was needed.

and who cares if the store clerk was found outside in the alley by the shop, their face bashed in over and over and over again until they were almost unrecognizable? that's one less employ the store had to pay

JOHNNY MACTAVISH is a dedicated lover and an even more dedicated demolitionist. he's constantly showing you his silly little notebooks that are detailed with fun chemical reactions and ways to make green fire using sugar and boric acid. it's always fun to keep you entertained and a smile on your face brings a smile to his

but when you come home from work and that smile is no where to be found, he's immediately inquiring why. when you tell him about your shitty boss and the horrible way you've been treated, he's immediately pulling out his notebook and distracting you with silly chemical reactions and even putting on a small show for you to cheer you up.

and who cares if a week later your boss was found dead in his apartment, some type of untracable lethal poison infused in his coffee? you had always liked the assistant director better anyway.

KYLE GARRICK was a sweetheart through and through. he sweet talked his way into your life and you're glad you let him. his affirmations were always what you needed and when you needed. the way he'd hold you in his arms and whisper all the incredible things he saw in you never failed to warm your heart. he was observant and smart, seeing right through you and everyone else around him.

so when you had to delete a few nasty messages on social media after kyle made a post about you, he was less than pleased. he took you and your happiness very seriously. he posted you because he wanted to. he loved showing you off and he wanted the world to see how happy you made him. a few anonymous profiles weren't going to change that.

so who cares if their names, jobs, profiles, browsing history, and text messages were all exposed? the nasty information was all kyle needed to know that those men would never see the light of day again

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thosewickedlovelies · 3 months ago

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A guide to writing fics set in museums / with a museum worker character

Hey hi hello it’s your local museum worker here, offering you some insight and tips to writing museum-related fics! This is primarily organized as a list of different jobs you could have in a museum and what their duties entail. This post might also be useful to you if you’re considering working in museums and want to know What Goes On In There. Let’s go!

For simplicity/fic-writing purposes, I would divide museums into 2 very rough groups: large national or city museums that Have Money (think the Smithsonian or British Museums, or the Chicago Field Museum or the Royal Armouries Museum in Leeds); and smaller local museums. These could be local industry and culture/history-of-our town museums, historic houses, or really niche subject museums run by One Person With A Passion.

Big national museums have a fuckton of staff and money (museums can never have enough money. But these places are very well-off compared to somewhere small that might always be hustling and writing grant applications). If you work here you’re likely to have a specific role in a particular department, and you probably won’t do much outside this role (ex., if you work in collections management, you probably won’t also design exhibits)

The smaller the museum, the more varied your workload will be/the more likely you are to be doing a little bit of everything. You’re probably organizing collections storage, manning the front desk, and desperately running fundraising efforts, all at once.

To this end, smaller museums are more likely to be closed one or two days a week- you’ll be there, probably cleaning displays or managing storage, but visitors won’t be.

A lot of (most?) universities also have museums, so a college town setting is also doable. But the same big vs small museum disparity is still possible! At Penn State University, for example, the Palmer Art Museum is its own (recently redone iirc) building in the center of campus with a lovely plaza out front, while the Matson Museum of Anthropology is uhhhhh a couple classrooms in the Anthropology Department (which they’re currently rebuilding tbf, so we’ll see what they’ve done with it in 2025).

Types of Jobs

Curator

The one museum job that everyone can name. Nominally the person in charge. Probably laments that their job is way more admin than fun hands-on stuff now.

Actually this is the role I have the least knowledge of, but I think that’s partially because this job might vary the most from place to place? Structural organization can vary a lot between institutions, but I think the higher up you get in any field, the more your job tends to consist of meetings/overseeing, designating, and ~liaising~

A list of things a curator might do:

Planning or approving events and fundraisers, schmoozing with donors and members at said events, approving or designing a schedule of exhibits, publish outreach/advertising or research materials, oversee hiring, approve new object acquisitions (or de-acquisitions), generally make sure that the museum is working within the scope of its mission and if necessary, change or refine their mission

The curator might not necessarily control a museum’s funds; in this case they’ll liaise with the people who do, likely a Board of Executives or Board of Trustees. Once they get the money from these people, though, they could potentially redistribute it as they see fit.

If you work in a fuckoff museum like the BM, you could also be the curator of a specific department, arranged by overarching subject, geographic area, time period, or even object type (eg Curator of Archaeobotany, Curator of Korean Collections, curator of coins from the medieval period). These categories can be more or less specific depending on what kind of holdings your museum has. I think these types of curators would still be able to do interesting things, as they aren’t the ones who Oversee The Whole Place.

You can also be an assistant or associate curator, like being an assistant manager.

Education/Engagement

These are the people who design fun extra activities (esp for kids) in the galleries or relevant events/workshops/lectures the public can attend. They might be called Engagement/Education Officer or Events Manager or anything similar

Again, the bigger the museum you work at, the more specific your role is likely to be. You might focus on web content/outreach and social media, manage the ‘friends/members of the museum’ program, or engage with shareholders, etc

Or you might do things like develop content and events to engage adult audiences. Workshops or lectures connected to new exhibits, after-hours visits. These people are also probably the ones with an eye on accessibility- you’ve probably seen advertisements for museums’ early or late hours for older visitors, or ‘quiet hours’ for people who might be overstimulated by normal museum hubbub, or tactile workshops designed for visually impaired folks.

I think most places would try to have someone specific for kids activities at the very least. They’ll be designing little activities or dress-up stations for the galleries, kiddie mascots or scavenger hunt trail kind of things, as well as, potentially, activities for any digital elements in the museum. They probably also coordinate school visits and act as a tour guide for classes, and will lead the kids in specific workshops or lessons in classrooms attached to the museum.

As a note on technology- some people would probably say that integrating digital elements into exhibits is the ~next big thing~, that museums have to get with the times in this regard, but opinions vary. Big science and technology museums are the most likely to have the most digital and techy elements in their exhibits, so if this is your setting, your character could also be a generic “tech person”. I would go so far as to say the smaller/more local the museum, the less technology you’re likely to have, but smaller museums are able to get grants, some of them potentially for specifically this type of thing, so it’s totally possibly that they have a few tablets with integrated activities, or some other Digital/Screen Thing.

Engagement Officers are probably the most likely people to be drafted for out-of-hours events, so that’s a potentially fun thing for your character to do. Some museums, particularly bigger ones, have event spaces attached that anybody can rent out, for weddings, galas, markets, etc, so they might also take care of these bookings as well.

Exhibit Design

This role has a lot of nebulous terms: exhibit coordinator, design constructor, exhibit programmer- but these are the people who design the exhibits. They’ll come up with a theme or narrative, a design scheme, choose the objects, write the text. They’ll probably come up with some marketing material as well, that matches the design scheme, or they’ll liaise with the marketing people who will.

These people might not be as familiar with the collections as the collections management folk (below), depending on how strictly divided your roles are, so they’ll likely consult with the collections people on choosing objects for a particular exhibit or theme (they say that good exhibit design builds an exhibit from the objects up, but I digress).

These people will also direct and participate in the install and deinstall (the actual terms) of exhibits- putting the objects on the right plinths/stands and arranging everything just so in the cases. Genuinely there’s a lot of psychology behind exhibit design- colors, lighting, the way you might design an exhibit to be navigated vs the path people will actually take through the gallery, people’s sight lines and where their eyes go first, how the display of any given object affects people’s perception of the importance of that object. Fascinating stuff, many books on the subject.

There are also a lot of accessibility concerns to be considered here- how bright is the gallery, how large is your display text, at what height is the central eyeline of your cases?

Museums often loan objects to and from each other’s collections, so if you’re building an exhibit and you’d really like to include X type of object but your museum doesn’t have any, you can borrow some from another museum (this isn’t necessarily a guarantee- museums are allowed to say no to these requests, but I think manners would dictate that they should have a good reason)

Museums sometimes tour whole exhibitions as well- the objects, the text placards, maybe even the stands for super special or fragile items- and exhibit coordinator people are the ones who would handle those arrangements.

Potentially good opportunities for angst stories here- wow things come to life at your museum, you fall in love with a statue but oh no it’s only at your museum for three months

Collections Care

People who work in Collections Management have the most direct contact with the museum objects themselves. You probably work here if you prefer objects to people. When a museum gets new material, these are the people involved. They might not always initiate acquisitions, and the final approval is probably down to the relevant curator, but 98% of the time they’d be consulted (I hope).

A mind-boggling statistic is that most museums only have like 10% of their collections on display at any given time. Yeah. Forreal lol. But collections folk will know where the other 90% is and what’s in it (particularly the longer they’ve been there).

There’s usually a head Collections Manager. Other workers might be a Collection Assistant/Associate, Collections Officer (we like calling people Officers for some reason), Registrar, or some variant of these depending on the specific flavor of your duties.

Main job duties can be divided amongst documentation and database work, organization and storage of objects, and lite conservation. Just how much/how technical the conservation work depends on your own training, but also on the size/funding of your museum. The more money, the more likely your museum is to have its own lab with people specifically trained as conservators. More on them later.

Here’s what happens when a museum gets new stuff!:

Ideally, it goes to a ‘quarantine zone’ first. This is a separate space or room where the objects can relax for a few weeks to a few months (ultimate best practice is actually a year, but, you know. that’s a long time) to ensure that they’re not harboring anything icky (bugs, mold, etc) that will infect the rest of the collections. It’s ideally super-sealed and climate-controlled, but the primary feature should be that it’s away from the main collections store.

Collections folk do the paperwork. They’ll give each individual object a unique number (following their preexisting system that will allow it to be identified distinct from all the other objects in the collection). They’ll create a ‘collections record’ for the object- documentation containing any and all information about the object. This includes the accession paperwork (everything that says ‘we legally own this now’); provenance info (all previous owners and everywhere else the object has been in its life); measurements and description (in painful detail); and conservation history and concerns (ie ‘there’s a crack in the side so pick up with care’, ‘this was repaired in the 70s so that glue is gonna fall apart any day now’).

(I'll say as a fic writer that this would be an great time to wax poetic over a beautiful statue or painting; you can’t write “This golden crown deserved to be worn by a great king, or maybe by that broody Roman general in the painting in Gallery B” in the collections paperwork, but you can think it.)

For fiction’s sake, your collections records could be either paper or digital, but in an ideal world a museum would have both setups, for security’s sake. So you’d fill out some long forms and/or input all the information to the digital collections management system (‘the CMS’, or referred to by your specific software’s name, as there are many out there). The CMS is not a static archive, but rather a living register that’s updated every time an object is interacted with. The object records also include where an object is at any given time (‘normally in Case E in the Fancypants Gallery, currently in Conservation Lab A for repairs’).

Once the objects are done in quarantine, they’ll go to storage. If they’re being displayed immediately, they’ll probably go to some interim storage space/shelf with other objects for the same exhibit and in that case only get a temporary setting. Every object will get labeled with their object number (directly on them, with a special pen that’s safe for this. Or if it’s really tiny, like a coin or jewelry, then their own tiny box will get the label). Small or fragile items, or items grouped together, will go in their own boxes (made of acid- and lignin-free cardboard or polyethylene plastic, like Rubbermaid totes; lined with polyethylene foam and then acid-free tissue paper). Stable ceramic vessels might sit directly on lined shelving, particularly if they’re very large or heavy, like many stone objects.

Listen, every type of object has a particular way(s) of storing that’s best for them, you’re gonna have to look that up yourself or consult someone if you need that level of detail

Ideally, before being stored away, objects are also photographed. This could be part of the Collection Officer’s duty, and/or your museum could have a photographer on staff. (say it with me:) This is more likely if your museum is really huge and/or has a backlog of unphotographed collections and has hired someone specifically, even if temporarily, to improve its collections documentation.

I would say a collections person, or anyone with a museum studies degree, should have some minimum amount of conservation knowledge that includes basic storage standards for different object materials, how to spot potential preservation problems (like if your bronze axe head is actively oxidizing or if that green spot looks the same as it always has since starting and pausing decaying), and maybe how to give objects a basic clean or deal with certain types of problems. But the nitty-gritty science is more the realm of Conservators, someone with a degree that ends in -Sci or who’s done some other certification course.

The general collections store should always be dark, slightly too cool for prolonged human comfort, and labeled to high heaven. Objects will most likely be grouped by material- ceramics/pottery, metals, precious metals and stones (jewelry or beads), stone, glass, wood, bone/ivory/other organic material like feathers or teeth or anything that can be decorative, textiles, paintings. A museum often has some paper material/documents, usually part of or related to a group of objects they acquired, but generally paper and photographic material is the realm of archives and archivists. Yet again, the bigger/more well-funded the museum, the more likely it to have a separate archive department, so your character could also work as an archivist in a museum.

Another thing the collections care folk probably do is ship objects. Remember how I said that museums loan objects and exhibitions to each other? The stuff’s gotta travel somehow! If things are being shipped internationally, they’ll go in big wooden crates, with specifically dimensioned partitions inside. Then it will be lined with our favorite foam and tissue paper, cut so the objects sit snugly inside. I haven’t personally worked anywhere with a possibility of local shipments, so I can’t say where the threshold might be as to when a museum would just pay an employee to drive the objects over vs ship them with a shipping company. But the preparations would be similar, minus the big wooden crate but with extra-careful packing (and paperwork and insurance etc)

Conservation

Conservators are the people who work in labs with fancy equipment. Not every museum will have a formal conservator or a lab of any kind; sometimes the collections care person fills this role, or if something urgently needs care beyond the abilities of the museum’s equipment, they might send it away to a lab elsewhere, the same way you can send your old VHS home videos to a professional archive to be digitized.

If an object is actively deteriorating in a way that could harm itself or other objects (as opposed to like, at risk of fading bc the lighting is wrong, which is a straightforward fix related to the environment), that’s when a conservator would intervene.

Some methods/machinery by which you can analyze objects:

Ultraviolet (UV) and infrared (IR) light - Different materials absorb and react to light differently, which you can use to identify them. Useful for seeing things like the different layers of paintings

Stereo-microscopy (microscopes, of varying strengths)

At magnifications of x5-x100 you can see things like tool marks from an object’s manufacture, traces from wear, deposits, and coatings

At x50-x500, with a thin sliver of a sample, you can see (and hopefully identify) fibers, layers, particles, metallographic structures

You can get information from objects without taking samples, but samples are usually worth the information.

energy dispersive x-ray fluorescence spectrometry (EDXRF) - EDXRF allows you to identify the elemental composition of the surface layer of an object. So it might tell you what a tool is made of, and also the composition of the objects it was used on, if they left traces

scanning electron microscopy (SEM) - an SEM uses a focused beam of electrons to produce a magnified, high-resolution image of the surface of an object

X-radiography, both film and digital - X-rayy are beneficial for objects that might be covered by dirt or corrosion and can show you details of an object’s construction or hidden structural weaknesses

I’m not a conservator, so if you want more hard science-based info, ask one of them lol

Listen to me. If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this:

Once an object is in a museum, it is never seeing natural daylight again. Sunlight is the ultimate enemy of every object’s lifespan. If you need to see an object in the sun or moon light for ~magical spell reasons~, you will straight up be stealing that object to smuggle it outside.

Okay. That being said, you do hear (and could probably google) stories about museum employees stealing things from their museums on purpose to prove a point about security or insurance to their higher-ups, so like. Depending on your type of museum, it might not be impossible to steal from lmao. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)

Possibly the most useful advice for you to keep in mind when writing your conservator or collections care characters would be that touching objects hurts them. It might not hurt them now, it might not even hurt them in ten years, but every time you handle an object, there’s a risk that you’ll damage it. Not on purpose, obviously, but to err is human. The simplest, most effective advice my conservation professor ever gave us was “don’t handle an object if you don’t have to.” That means don’t move an object without a plan and a place to put it, first examination should always be visual, not tactile, etc. Unfortunately, that means that your character cannot walk around lovingly handling and caressing their favorite objects (unless this is a Night at the Museum situation where the objects are caressing them back, ykwim)

Museum Technician

These people probably have a lot of different names, but basically, technicians are the background muscle of the museum. They do the technical construction of bigger pieces of exhibition material, up to and including the exhibition cases themselves.

So they wouldn’t deal with the small mount that the object rests on, but they might build the big plinth that the mount sits on. They’ll help move things around the building, particularly big heavy things, hang big framed works, assist with exhibit installs, and generally do most things which might involve power tools/equipment or heavy lifting

I worked in a big museum that hired a third party company to supply their technicians; I interviewed at another place that hired their own. If you’re a small museum, you might just have a freelance person that comes in once or twice a week to help move things.

Other

Other miscellaneous roles one could have in a museum: researcher (for exhibits and/or collections), gift shop or cafe worker, security guard, room attendant, translator, archaeologist, consultant

Honestly, TL;DR? Just have your character be a consultant of some kind. “Oh no, I don’t work here, I’m Y’s friend. They called me in to provide some expertise on X subject that they’re doing an exhibit on.” This could work for literally any subject- history/archaeology/anthropology, art, transportation, science and technology, anything you might find pictures of in an archive, idk. This could get you into an office or meeting room of some kind in the ‘employee only’ space of the museum, or potentially all the way into the collections store if you’re giving them information they were missing about some objects. Otherwise you’d probably (hopefully) need a key or some other kind of security clearance to get into the collections store.

Whew, that was a ride, huh? I hope this guide was useful to someone! I’m always open to answering questions if you think I forgot something or if anyone wants more details <3

#hopefully this is useful to people as Gladiator II comes out <3 #i dont really know how to tag this lol #museums #fic advice #writing advice #reference #writing resources

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