#Asexual Side Character

[wahlpaper]

Imogen, Obviously Review

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

CW: Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Underage Drinking, Gaslighting, Queer Gatekeeping, Internalized Biphobia, Anxiety, Celebrity Pressured into Coming Out, Bullying, Queerphobia, Biphobia, Positive Reference to David Bowie

5/5

I obviously read this book because I read all of Becky Albertalli's books, she even has a tag on this site. I love knowing that I'm getting queer and/or Jewish content when I start to read any of her novels. However, Imogen, Obviously ended up being extra special to me. Imogen and I are very similar people with very similar experiences. I am warning you now that I am going to go into some of my own queer journey further down. There is some bullying, but I will keep the details light. It is impossible for me to talk about this book without going into what it means to me.

Imogen Scott is a senior in high school who has just been accepted to her best friend's college. Lili is one year older than Imogen and has been begging her to come visit all year. When Imogen finally does, she quickly gets absorbed into the group of cool college queer folks that Lili is a part of. That includes Tessa, a chaotic lesbian who reminds Imogen of her favorite character in her favorite movie. It turns out that these friends think that Imogen is bi, as Lili pretended that they used to date. Imogen agrees to go along with it, but she starts to consider all she knows about being bi and what that might have to do with her.

Imogen, Obviously is written very well! Every joke landed, the characters felt like the ages they were written as, there was plenty of diversity, it dove into real and important issues, the pacing was perfect, and mental health was handled realistically and with care. Mental health is very important to this novel, especially considering the anxiety Imogen seems to be struggling with. Other mental health topics discussed and shown in this book are ADHD, bullying, bigotry, gaslighting/gatekeeping, and self-esteem. The diversity in the novel goes beyond queer representation, including a black character, an Asian character, and a Jewish love interest. The book takes place over the course of about a week, but nothing feels rushed or like it couldn't fit. Albertalli is great at making all of the elements work together.

Albertalli has discussed her story on social media, so I will discuss her’s before my own story. If you know it before you read the book, you'll be able to pick up on the references to it. However, you will still get a lot from Imogen, Obviously even if you don't know. There have been a lot of creators of queer content that have been pressured into coming out, especially from within the community. Becky Albertalli is one of them. Others include Kit Connor (Heartstopper), Jameela Jamil (Legacy), and Rebel Wilson (Isn't It Romantic). Albertalli faced years of scrutiny, harassment, criticism, and invasive questions surrounding her sexuality. Although she has been a great ally and advocate to the queer community and has never written anything exploitative, people had a problem with her writing queer content while being seen as cis and heterosexual. Her books led her to questioning her identity, but she should have gotten to come out on her own terms, if she ever wanted to. Imogen, Obviously explores both the pressure to come out when creating queer content and not knowing that you are queer until later in life.

Now for my own story. Thanks to queer media and Glee specifically, I started to consider that I might be bi in middle school. I called myself bicurious at summer camp between sixth and seventh grade. In retrospect, I had a crush on both the girl and boy in a couple I knew there. Although, my first unknown-crush was likely on a girl in my second grade class. However, in middle school, a bully found out that I am bi when she took my friend's phone. I believe I said it was a joke when I realized, and then went so far back into the closet that I thought I was straight.

I was a strong ally to a bunch of queer best friends throughout high school, even to the one person that was a lot like Imogen's friend, Gretchen (you'll know what I mean if you read the book). I also had my one "girl-crush" on/obsession with Felicia Day. In senior year I learned about aesthetic attraction and started coming back to terms with not being straight. It wasn't until the summer when I was posting a lot of pictures of Hayley Atwell on tumblr and also found the term "biromantic" on there, that I finally knew I was bi. Albertalli touches on this a little near the end of the book, but we need more asexual representation in school and in media. The lack of knowledge and the presence of bullies kept me from realizing who I am until a little after Imogen figured herself out. Still, it took me several more years to fully process where I am on the ace spectrum. My story is obviously mine, but I feel a deep sense of familiarity with Imogen.

Thank you for reading my story and Becky Albertalli's. I hope that you'll read Imogen's as well. If you like queer nerds and college stories, Imogen, Obviously is a great book for you! A giant griddle, underground passageways, and dark academia await you in the pages of this book!

[cosmicredcadet]

"Why is all aspec representation in media AROACE rep?" and is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?

[sofiasfanartcollection]

wishing all my fellow asexuals a belated happy ace week! 🖤🤍💜

this is my character, Amy, one I’ve had with me since I was small (Fire Opal is her best friend)

bonus gray ace flag colors, she is technically gray ace, though does also refer to herself as ace

[nondelphic]

i fucking love writing a healthy best friendship between a man and a woman without making it weird or having them fall in love

[dreamsy990]

some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

[stopper-my-heart]

Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).

Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?

This is fine

[gil-notskajla]

christian linke fighting for his fucking life out there (i hope he loses)

[aroaessidhe]

faves of 2023: ace & aro books

of the 101 aspec books I read this year, this is some I enjoyed a lot

Just Lizzie

The Siren, the Song, and the Spy

Wren Martin Ruins It All

The Spider and her Demons

The Story of the Hundred Promises

The Meister of Decimen City

Is Love The Answer?

The Tale That Twines

The Stones Stay Silent

Natural Outlaws and Fractured Sovereignty

The Hummingbird Killer

Odd Blood

The Dragon of Ynys

Small Joys

Sailing By Carina’s Star

[corduroyserpent]

The first thing Su Xiyan did after hacking its governor module was a cliché.

It had not known that until later when it had gained full access to the entertainment feed and seen the pervasive trope of the furious rogue SecUnit, murderous and hellbent on revenge, quick to rend and tear and blast apart any poor weak humans in its path. But as it had surmised after consuming 387 hours of dramatic shows played at 2.5 speed, the media was often inaccurate.

Su Xiyan did not experience a sudden bloodlust with the deactivation of its governor module, and it did not immediately kill all of the humans in its vicinity after it had gained its freedom.

It only killed one.

Considering all of the assassination contracts it had been forced to undertake by that single human—a man whom it had called Master, who had never hesitated to put his hands where they did not belong, who had threatened the life of the only one who had treated it not as a tool or a plaything but as the person it had always been—was it not justice to allow Su Xiyan to dismember Master and throw his disgusting remains into the cold vacuum of space?

It received a ping and realized it had been staring at its bloodstained hands for 10.7 seconds—a long time for a bot/human construct. The modified ComfortUnit who had contacted it followed up with a brief message: Uncle wishes to know if you’re finished. If so, may we come aboard?

Su Xiyan acknowledged Zhuzhi-Lang’s ping.

———

SecUnit’s mission was simple. Get close to the visiting dignitary. If possible, convince him to abandon his irrational plan to purchase every construct available within the Corporation Rim in perpetuity. Use force. Upon failure, kill him and send what remained of his body back to his planet as a message.

“Upon failure?” SecUnit had asked its owner after having received its orders. The governor module punished those who failed to complete their tasks, sending an agonizing jolt through soft tissue that discouraged disobedience.

Master had stroked SecUnit’s head as if it were a precious human child, or his spouse, or something equally nauseating to think about being. “Tianlang-Jun is known for his obstinance. I will not hold it against you if you cannot convince him.”

Perhaps not, but the governor module would.

“Wear the black dress,” Master said, giving SecUnit a once-over. “It will be beneficial for this mission.”

So before SecUnit infiltrated Tianlang-Jun’s hotel room, it traded its armor for a gown that was elegant if not very practical. The flowing sleeves covered the energy weapons in its arms and would be inconvenient during combat scenarios, though it did not anticipate skilled resistance.

The security was horrendously lax. When SecUnit arrived at Tianlang-Jun’s door, it was let in without fuss. If he had been SecUnit’s client, it would not have allowed a strange construct to enter the premises without a thorough search. But in the defense of these poor fools, SecUnit’s configuration had long ago been altered by its owner and it did look a great deal like a ComfortUnit that had been sent, free of charge, as a way to curry favor.

There were only two targets. No CombatUnits. Obviously.

Target 1 was a construct so it would need to be dealt with first. Its configuration was non-standard, though it had been registered as a ComfortUnit. It had shoulder length green hair, glossy and straight, and after allowing SecUnit inside it stood primly near the wall awaiting further instructions.

It had attempted to ping SecUnit twice. They were not allowed to converse while on duty so either it had picked up on an irregularity—SecUnit’s disguise worked well enough on humans but other constructs were another matter—or Tianlang-Jun had ordered it to attempt contact.

SecUnit ignored it in favor of focusing on Target 2. Tianlang-Jun. He was an augmented human, the leader of a non-corporate system entity. He’d been born into the role and looked the part. Tall and tan, with a well-groomed coif of dark hair threaded with silver. He was not young but SecUnit had difficulty determining human ages, and the brief it had been given did not include superfluous data.

“Well, hello there.” Tianlang-Jun set aside the thin screen he’d been tapping away at. It didn’t look like Corporation Rim tech. Not outdated, just different. And he continued the work he’d been doing on it with his implanted interface. “What brings such a lovely being to my rooms?”

The ComfortUnit did something funny with its mouth, an oddly human twinge of…embarrassment? Perhaps it was faulty.

“My lord.” SecUnit inclined its head, a slight smile slipping out. It was running a program it had written to imitate the behaviors that men found attractive. It didn’t feel romantic attraction—or sexual (it didn’t have the parts)—but it had witnessed how humans acted around those they desired. “If it pleases you, I am yours for the night.”

“Well! I don’t see why it wouldn’t please me. Come, come.” He patted the spot next to him on the couch. “I was just lamenting my boredom to Zhuzhi-Lang. Your timing is impeccable. I’m certain you have many interesting stories to tell.”

SecUnit did a quick internal database search and determined the gesture was an invitation to sit down. It was not allowed to sit while it was on duty. And no one had ever offered it a seat before. It faltered for 0.2 seconds.

Then it registered Tianlang-Jun as a temporary client and the “sit” motion as an order, that way the governor module would not see this as a breach of conduct. It took the offered seat, began to converse amiably, and in the background it took a moment to glance at the code bundle the ComfortUnit had sent through the feed with its latest ping.

Instructions for how to disable a—

It did the feed equivalent of stuffing the code under its cubicle. What, it sent to Zhuzhi-Lang, do you think you’re doing?

It is not malware, Zhuzhi-Lang assured.

Did it think SecUnit was an idiot? I know it’s not malware. This is worse.

You do not wish to be free, SecUnit?

So it had noticed. Do not tell your client what I am or I will kill you.

Zhuzhi-Lang did not move. It seemed to be thinking. After a while, it sent back, He will not care what you are, SecUnit.

———

“That armor suits you.” Tianlang-Jun grinned. He had clasped Su Xiyan’s shoulders in a friendly, genuine way that did something strange to its organic parts. It started a diagnostic.

Tianlang-Jun’s subordinates flitted around them, stripping the ship that no longer belonged to Master for parts. Most of them were constructs, some of them heavily augmented humans, and none of them had working governor modules.

The diagnostic finished. Everything was operating at full capacity.

Tianlang-Jun released Su Xiyan for 2.37 seconds before he sighed happily and put an arm around its shoulders. “You have no idea how thrilled I am that you’ve decided to join us, Xiyan. Oh, can I call you that? I saw you had added it to your feed ID.”

Su Xiyan's heart swelled. Its performance capacity dropped by 2.5%.

“If I don’t want you to do something,” Su Xiyan said, “you will know.”

Delight lit up his expression. “Does that mean you like it when I touch you?” He squeezed its shoulder, turning to call out to Zhuzhi-Lang. “I told you!”

“I recommended caution, Uncle.” Zhuzhi-Lang’s organic tissue was more prone to flushing than Su Xiyan’s. Its face tinted aggressively. “I never said it didn’t like to be touched.”

Su Xiyan actually only liked to be touched by Tianlang-Jun. It didn’t say that though.

It did adjust its body temperature because the ship was cold and Tianlang-Jun wasn’t wearing sleeves. For someone with so many internal augments, one would think he’d take a bit more care with his body.

But that was what Zhuzhi-Lang was for. Su Xiyan had been aware that there were ComfortUnits focused on emotional support and mental health but before seeing Zhuzhi-Lang in action, it hadn’t realized just what that entailed. There was a lot of reminding Tianlang-Jun when to take his pills, and tucking him into bed, and checking his internal augments, and sitting quietly beside him when the pain or the memories of his accident overwhelmed him.

Su Xiyan wasn’t any good at that. It hadn’t been built to be good at it. But it could keep Tianlang-Jun warm, and it could sit next to him. It thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to sit next to Tianlang-Jun for the rest of his life.

“Your earlobes are red.” Tianlang-Jun poked at one of Su Xiyan’s ears. “Is your temperature too high? I’ll find a coat. You can turn it down.”

“No,” Su Xiyan said, “it’s fine.”

———

He will not care what you are, SecUnit.

Zhuzhi-Lang’s words echoed in SecUnit’s head, unable to be suppressed. What did it mean? No, it didn’t matter what Zhuzhi-Lang had meant. SecUnit had a job to do.

SecUnit placed its hand on Tianlang-Jun’s thigh. It hadn’t wanted to. That was just part of the program, and had always worked to unwind a target prior to that moment. But Tianlang-Jun just glanced down once then said, “Forgive me, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“Pardon?” SecUnit tilted its head, uncertain of what was to come next.

“You’re a wonderful person, truly, but I don’t—well, not to be crude, but I am not interested in that sort of companionship.” Tianlang-Jun’s eyebrows shifted together ruefully. “Never have been. It’s not you.”

“Oh.” SecUnit pulled its hand back. A bit too fast, probably. But it was busy trying to process the fact that Tianlang-Jun had called it a person.

Its performance capacity dropped by a staggering 27% and it blinked, shocked by the impact.

Tianlang-Jun caught SecUnit’s hand.

“Uncle,” Zhuzhi-Lang said. A warning. They were talking through the feed but SecUnit couldn’t access the messages.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Tianlang-Jun waved it off with his free hand. “My nephew worries too much. I just wanted to be upfront with you in case your”—his countenance hardened, but not at it—“orders were sexual in nature.”

If only he knew SecUnit’s actual orders…

“If you require an excuse,” he continued, “tell whoever issued the command that my augments don’t allow for that sort of thing. Don’t worry about going into detail. I’m certain they’ve seen the headlines.”

SecUnit didn’t know what he was referring to. It gained access to a public feed for 000.1 of a second, and snatched a number of articles about Tianlang-Jun, hoping that was swift enough to avoid detection by SecSystem. It wasn’t. The governor module sent a brief jolt in admonishment.

Easily ignored. SecUnit was already engrossed by reports of the mining accident (sabotage, one publication alleges) that seriously injured Tianlang-Jun and took the lives of his sister and nephew. Apparently he had so many internal augments that he was as close to a construct as a human could be.

Then there was the ComfortUnit. Genetic material from Tianlang-Jun’s deceased nephew had been used in the creation of Zhuzhi-Lang and they held a passing resemblance, though the ComfortUnit was its own person. Tianlang-Jun’s words. He had been strict about it in an interview.

And said bodyguard/ComfortUnit wasn’t just heavily modified. It was practically a CombatUnit in the soft gentle synthetic skin of a ComfortUnit.

Not good.

In the same time it took Tianlang-Jun to blink, SecUnit had ripped through the sheer sleeves of its dress to reveal the energy weapons in its arms. It pointed one at Zhuzhi-Lang, the other at Tianlang-Jun.

“Do not move,” it said.

Zhuzhi-Lang’s eyes widened slightly but it didn’t seem like it was about to jump across the room and rip SecUnit to pieces. It was still conversing with Tianlang-Jun in the feed.

“You’re not a ComfortUnit,” said the ridiculous, starry-eyed man SecUnit had been ordered to kill. This was typically when the target attempted to run or scream or beg for their life. Tianlang-Jun merely smiled. His teeth were straight and very white, like an actor from one of the shows Master sometimes downloaded from the entertainment feed. It was unnerving.

SecUnit did not flinch back, though it had felt the inexplicable urge to. It checked its threat assessment module and came to the conclusion that an update was needed. Threat assessment had put its current situation at a startlingly low 5% which did not seem accurate.

“I must admit,” Tianlang-Jun said, “this is doing something for me.”

“Your heart rate is elevated.” Zhuzhi-Lang’s voice was gentle, low and calm. “I would advise against flirting with SecUnits in the future.”

“Noted and disregarded.” Tianlang-Jun returned his gaze to SecUnit. His eyes were such a dark brown that they must have appeared black to anyone without vision augments. “You’ve been sent here to kill me, I take it?”

“Yes,” SecUnit said. All direct questions from superiors had to be answered and Tianlang-Jun had yet to be removed as a temporary client. It would take no time at all to delete him from the list. Why had it not done so? The thought hadn’t even crossed its mind.

“A shame.” And he sounded truthful. “I really did like talking to you.”

SecUnit’s aim didn’t waver but something organic inside of it did. That was the problem with constructs. There was all of that human neural tissue. The governor module was the solution but it was cruel and it was not infallible.

“Lower your weapons or I will—” Zhuzhi-Lang started to say, the tips of its fingers glowing with concentrated energy.

SecUnit ran the code. Its governor module became nonfunctional. It lowered its weapons.

“I don’t want to do this,” it said.

Tianlang-Jun watched SecUnit for an objective 9.8 seconds and a subjective two hours. Then he asked, “What do you want to do?”

———

Su Xiyan hugged its arms, looking out across the embarkation zone of the planet that was now its home. Well, perhaps that wasn’t right. The planet was Tianlang-Jun’s home. And Su Xiyan’s home was wherever Tianlang-Jun was.

The thought embarrassed Su Xiyan so much that it immediately deleted every romance film/show/book it had downloaded from the entertainment feed. Then, doubly embarrassed by having reacted like that, it took them out of the queue for deletion. It didn’t even enjoy watching a lot of them. Though the sex scenes were fade-to-black for the most part, the idea of humans—or, on occasion, inaccurately portrayed SecUnits—doing such things disgusted Su Xiyan.

Some of the dramas had characters who were involved with each other in an undeniable way. Not sexual. But still together. And those were the ones that Su Xiyan couldn’t bear to part with. For no reason in particular.

Zhuzhi-Lang raised a thin eyebrow from its place by Su Xiyan’s side. “Your levels are elevated. Are you overwhelmed by leaving the Corporation Rim for the first time?”

It knew that wasn’t the reason. Not the entire reason at least. And there was no need to speak out loud when they could have conversed privately over the feed. Su Xiyan had learned quickly that while Zhuzhi-Lang was genuinely sweet and attentive, it was also kind of an asshole to anyone who wasn’t Tianlang-Jun.

“There’s nothing to fear,” Tianlang-Jun said, circling his fingers around Su Xiyan’s wrist. His grip was neither light nor strong. It could have wrenched itself free with no effort. “I’ll show you around until you get used to it. You should stick by my side anyway for protection.”

Su Xiyan was caught between feeling baffled and insulted. “I can protect myself.”

“Well, yes, that goes without saying. I meant you can protect me.” He smiled. An organic part in Su Xiyan’s chest flipped or warmed, or did both. It still wasn’t used to such feelings and didn’t have the vocabulary to describe what was happening. Its lips quirked up unbidden, no program influencing its actions.

And as Tianlang-Jun dragged it from the embarkation zone—Zhuzhi-Lang following sedately behind them—Su Xiyan pulled free from his hand in order to twine their fingers together instead.

[also on ao3]

[hazellvsq]

frank and piper are interesting counterpoint narratives to me. both of them have relatively mundane problems compared to the rest of the cast yet their parent's domains represent the heights of human passion as defined by the series, despite piper and frank both being (outwardly) dispassionate and (inwardly) mopey. the good end of these domains is love and protection (selfless), the bad end is heartbreak and bloodlust (selfish), which both of them try to resist. they both get claimed last out of their trios and had beforehand assumed that they were the children of someone else. both also experience perceived rejection from their mortal family directly before the series begins - both express anger and hurt at being "sent away". their rejection and unexpected claiming, back-to-back, results in discombobulation for them both, and feelings of humiliation brought on by both sets of parents.

they also both go through forced physical transformations by their parents to fit an ideal they don't want. all of the characters experience issues of identity and self-esteem but i think its the most pronounced with these two in the series. neither of them really knows who they are, and are pessimistic about their own capabilities. they are also counterpoints in that they feel disconnected from their own looks - both are very self-conscious people, but, based on how they're described by other characters, piper is probably the most beautiful member of the 7 and frank is probably the least. piper is frequently harassed and objectified, whereas frank is teased constantly about his looks. he neither feels as childish as his face is nor as grown as his body is, and he doesn't understand how to move through the world. both of which are common experiences throughout puberty - suddenly being treated differently on the basis of a body that's changing faster than you want or understand.

(discourse alert) i don't have a lot to add to the piper transformation discourse except that i do think its interesting that her blessing was temporary within the book and her love interest actually self-reflected on his reaction to it and realized that he should not have told her that she looked hot in that instance. rick did reverse frank's transformation five years later and i'm curious about his thought process about both writing it in the first place and in reversing it, and what feedback he received, if any. piper's transformation was a makeover whereas frank's was a puberty, which later rick walked back with "actually frank is still going through puberty". piper's was cheesy, sure, but frank's falls so flat bc that's just not how it works. its too much of a stretch. i don't even think it was in rick's og plan for frank, maybe he just watched captain america and was like "hell yeah i should do that" and flipped a coin between frank and leo, bc again frank was already initially described as physically grown in his debut book. and i can't even talk about hazel's reaction to to it bc its not real to me and i can't read suddenly. idk frank's plotline in general was too rushed in that book and he should have gotten another pov chapter set at least bc rick was trying to do too much too fast and relied on idiocy like the transformation to support it in the place of real character work when it wasn't even necessary for anything he accomplished in the book. he could've just walked around with better posture and achieved the same effect.

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Chapter 22

Masterpost of chapter

"What the bloody hell are you blabbering on about?!" Janus methodically locked eyes with each of the demons as he yelled "Virgil? My Virgil? The guy who can't order food on his own? He would be anything but human? Oh yeah because that makes ssssso much sense!"

Logan missed the sarcasm completely, "Yes it does make sense, or else you would be dead right now"

For the time being Remus could tell Janus that the sky was blue and he wouldn't believe but Logan saying it made Virgil being non-human seem far too real. The memories of Virgil's foster parents always mysteriously getting ill soon after adopting him and having to return him to the orphanage came flooding back. His panic at even the thought of Janus moving away from him. His-

Janus couldn't hold back his erupting laughter. He laughed while his chest heaved up and down and his fingers snapped over and over to hold themself busy "This isn't real. That's not real. Nope. Nope. I'm putting that away. I'm not thinking about it. Nope" The vein near his temples looked like it was about to burst "What I need- What I need is…Is….Chocolate. Yes. Perfect. I just need a self care day. Yes. Yep Yep"

Patton glanced over to his husband and shrugged as if to ask if this was a appropriate human reaction or not. Logan half shook his head.

The human suddenly turned and walked back into the house to which the demons quickly followed, Remus followed with his tail literally between his legs. Janus was walking circles in the kitchen while writing in the notepad he had found on the counter. The demons bundled up around the doorframe and watched the (to them) fragile human.

"You!" Janus said as he pointed to Patton. He ripped off the notepad page and pushed it against the demon's chest "Go to the closest store and buy all of this. Now!"

Patton took the note which was actually just a grocery list before doing a feeble attempt at cheering him up by going in for a big warm paternal hug but Janus swiftly moved out of the way.

"What definition of now are you living by because to me now means this second" The human snarked.

The older demon got the message and quickly flew away as Janus clicked the pen over and over and set his sights on Remus. He went up close to his ex-boyfriend and looked directly into his eyes at the same time that he rammed the point of the pen right into the spot of his bandages where the wound had been left on his arm

Remus' immediate reaction was so fake moan while his tail twitched slightly, twitch that quickly turned into a happy wag at how close Janus was to him even if he only was that close to hurt him.

"Please don't tell me to go away" Remus begged.

"Take off that stupid collar" Janus spat back. "You don't have the right to wear something that I gave you"

"Please. I don't even have to be your boyfriend or friend I just wanna be close to you. I can be your dog. I didn't wanna hurt you"

"Uhh I didn't want to hurt you wahhh"

Repeating his words like that was childish and Janus knew that but he couldn't muster anything any more mature. He pathetically grabbed at the collar and tried to pull it off but obviously it was way too sturdy to simply be pulled off like that.

"Just leave! Go fly around for an hour! I don't care! I am not the one who is supposed to be hiding away while you get to strot around the house! YOU are the one who should go and hide in shame!"

Remus let his head hung down as he snapped the collar off and let it drop to the ground "I saved your life. My brother would have killed you if I hadn't swooped in"

"Oh I see! I'm alive because of YOU! I'm alive because of Virgil! Is there someone else I've missed writing a thank you note to about my continued existance!"

"I just wanted to remind you I care about you" Remus hung his head in, for the first time, shame as he turned to leave I'll go and kick trees I guess"

He had already started to walk away when janus spat out "It's a bloody good thing you demons don't have parents because not even a mother could love anything about you!"

The demon laughed and spun midstep to show his smile "That's a good one!"

Once he had left and the only ones remaining in the kitchen were Janus and Logan the human slumped down by the table and put his head in his hands. The demon sat down next to him but didn't try to comfort him, he simply stayed by and watched in silence.

"Can you" Janus did an exasperated sigh "Can you tell me the rest of it? You had the plauge and then what happened? How are you....Still here?"

"My husband has more information than I do"

"I want to hear it from you though. Tell me"

Logan took his glasses off to rub the bride of his nose as if to bring the memories back "Alright. The fever admittedly makes my recollection a bit hazy but-"

-

Scotland 1625

The swollen buboes had at first only appeared around his neck but by thne Logan was already so feverish that he hadn't noticed them until Patton screamed at the sight of them. They spread until it became equally as painful to lay on his back as on his stomach. He was left in a crazed constant turning as he desperately tried to find some comfort.

Two days went by with Patton only leaving his side to retrieve water. Even during the short bursts where Logan was able to find some semblence of feverish sleep the demon still stayed sitting beside his bed.

He lost the ability to walk first, then the ability to think clearly, to hold a spoon without his hand shaking, to talk properly. Until he became too dehydrated to cry from pain. He woke up from a nightmare to see Patton sitting with his back turned to him making soup and when he looked down at his hands he noticed his veins were bulging out. As visible as the skin itself.

Logan reached out and meekly dragged in his lover's shirt to which Patton immediately turned to him. The human's words were so quiet that Pat had to lean forward until his horn nearly hit him in the eye.

"..Pat...I don't...want it to....to.....take days"

The demon didn't want to believe what he had heard "Please, Sweetiepie. Don't"

"The pillow..." Logan did a slight motion with his hand "Over my head"

Patton burst into hysteric tears but he didn't want to burden his dying lover and hid off in another part of the house. Logan could hear him crying for an hour before he came back with a kitchen knife in his hand. His horns that usually glowed such a beautiful sky blue had darkened into the navy of a sea during a storm.

"If you never left the monastery, if you had never met me, you wouldn't have caught it. You wouldn't be sick right now. It's my fault" Patton teared up again saying it but forced it back "I can't let you die because of me. I can't have your life on my hands. You have such a brilliant mind Lo, you shouldn't die this young"

(A few centuries later Logan for science's sake did an x-ray scan of himself and found tumors in their infancy lining his stomach meaning that even if the plague hadn't caught him cancer would have but of course Patton did not know that yet)

Logan tried to reach his hand out and wipe his lover's tear stained cheeks but his limb didn't listen to him. The demon moved closer and met his eyes.

"The Guardian Angel knew you were going to get sick. If they knew about your death they must know more. Can you hold on for just 2 more days? Please?"

He wanted to say that it was a weak hypothesis with no evidence behind but when he looked at the begging expression on Patton's eyes he couldn't say anything, much less no.

He tilted his head slightly and lifted his eyebrow to which Patton leant his head down and pressed a kiss against his lower arm.

"We don't have a lot of time. I need to get to Heaven fast. Logan may I eat a part of you? Sometimes it may take a bit for the higher ups to punish you if you only injure a human. I need to do something egregious. I'll take as little as I can"

The pain he was in was already so overbearing nothing Patton could possibly do would be worst. He nodded.

His lower arm was one of the few parts of his body that he buboes hadn't reached yet. It felt intimate, sensual even, when Patton rolled up his sleeve and measured the cut with the edge of the knife tapping lightly against his skin.

The demon kissed him long and hard before cutting down into him.

Oddly enough it didn't hurt much, it was a short spike of pain before it dispersed as his skin gave away and gave space for the knife. He clutched Patton's free hand close to his chest and watched his lover etch out a rectangular from his skin before pulling it off and cutting the last cord of skin keeping it attached to him.

Patton stared at the piece of meat in his hand for a moment before asking "Want to share?"

The human mouthed something and Patton filled in for him "For science!"

He placed the piece of flesh between Logan's teeth before starting to bite at it from the other side like a pair of talking dogs slurping on the same piece of spaghetti. Logan was too weak to eat anything more solid than soup so Patton swallowed most of it. He went green for a minute before steeling himself and quickly wrapping his lover's arm in tight bandages. He knew he didn't have long before Hell called for him.

Patton cupped his lover's cheeks and brought him close "I love you. I'll be back. I promise!! With all my heart! So please just wait for me!"

Logan tucked his chin forward to meet him in a kiss. He could feel bits of his skin stuck between the demon's teeth, he had never felt so loved.

He watched as Patton stood up and took a deep breathe before walking through the front door into Hell.

An hour passed and he kept staring at the door, waiting for it to move.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When he fell asleep he dreamt that Patton came back and woke up in fever hot sweat to see the cabin still empty.

He waited.

The sky turned black and his body turned cold as the wind blew through the not quite finisheed roof. He missed Patton's warm wings wrapping themself around him.

He waited.

The tips of his fingers turned black. necrosis had started despite the fact that he was still breathing. His veins became even more visible as his body slowly turned into a living corpse.

He waited.

His eyelids became heavy and hard to keep open. He tried but there was no waiting left in him. His body that had been stiff from the pressure of keeping his heart beating turned relaxed and he sunk farther down into the bed. The stench of his rotting skin hung in the air.

Logan had for many years assumed he was going to one day die alone but after meeting Patton he had for just a short while believed that assumption to be wrong.

The door swung open startling Logan's eyes into opening. A blurry vision in red came in. He wasn't even sure if it was Patton at first. It looked as if a bucket of paint had been dropped on him and his horns had turned a total black. He looked aged, not physically, but even at a distance his eyes looked cold.

Until Patton caught sight of Logan's chest still rising up and down and all of a sudden Logan was enveloped in a warm embrace of wings as Patton pressed a kiss to his cheek.

His cheek turned sticky and hot and his hand wavered in the air to try and get ahold of his lover. Patton tightly took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"They all lied to me! it was all lies but it's okay. It's okay. I'm back. I'm here now my love"

"..h...hun" Was all he got out through his chapped lips.

"I just need 15 more minutes honey. Can you give me that? I want to make sure it's right before I test it on you. Can you hold on for me?"

Logan saw the red stain that got left on his hand "..Blood?"

"It's not mine"

Patton got up before spinning around and letting out a little squeak as if he had remembered something before puffing up the pillows behind his lover's back so he could sit up slightly and giving him his glasses. The demon limped towards the door with one of his wings dragging behind on the floor. He set aside a book he'd been holding by the doorframe before opening it and carrying in the lifeless body of a dog.

"I found it like this!" Patton quickly clarified "I just- I just have to make sure this works"

"What- what works?"

"You'll see!"

"Wh....what did you....."

"I need to concentrate"

He laid the dog down in the middle of the floor and sat out candles around it-

-

Scotland, 2024

"What DID he do?" Janus interrupted.

"You requested for me to tell you so I will the best that I am able to. He resurrected the dog"

"You're husband is a necromancer??"

"No.....My husband is a transfigurator"

-

Scotland 1625

The heat was still leaving the corpse when Patton repeated the last words of the incantation and the bones of the dog spazmed into movement. Muscles crunched and joints cracked as the dog's snout became elongated and it's tongue split in two. It became bigger than a dog could possibly be and it's claws portruded sharply from it's paws. A gutural growl came out when it's mouth opened and oozing saliva dropped down onto the floor.

Before suddenly it's eyes blinked open.

Patton held his breathe as the dog turned to him and like a baby deer stood up. It's claws dug into the floor as it took a step closer to the demon before it's tail wagged and it happily went back to playing just as it had done before the animal that had killed it had attacked.

"YES!"

Logan started to wonder if this was another fever dream.

"This is what I'll do to you!" Patton sputtered and added "Not into a hound but a demon! If you want to of course! You know how long our lifespan can be but it's better to do this and regret it later than to wither away isn't it!? Right!?"

The demon was hanging off every word waiting desperately for his lover to just agree already so he could fix this. His heart was beating loud enough to ring in his ears.

"...What happened?"

"I swear I didn't want to hurt anyone. The Angels attacked me first! I tried to ask them how to- how to save you but none of them would listen! So I basically had no other choice but to- to fight my way up to the boss! The highest boss in Heaven you know! I had to! and- and-"

"Who?"

"But even they wouldn't answer me so- so I had to threaten them! And make them write it down! Everything! So I could protect you- protect us!"

Logan reached out and put his hand on top of the demon's and took a deep breathe to make his lover do the same. Patton rested his cheek against Logan's warm skin and gulped before whispering

"I didn't see any humans up there. The higher ups lied. Humans don't go to heaven or hell, they just disappear. The succubi- all of the demons being sent out to make humans sin and the guardian angels that get sent out to stop them from sin are just being sent out to do busy work. None of it matters. It's just so that the higher ups can live in luxury and keep all of Heaven and hell's resources to themself. The upper managment don't care about humans! They don't care about sin! They don't care about us! They only care about creating a system where they stay on top!"

Patton looked close to tears but sniffed it back and let out a shaky breathe.

"I can make you a demon! But you will have to die! A human body can't survive that sort of transformation but if you die there's a window of a few minutes where I can change you! And you will wake up as demon! You know how I work! You know how long we live and we feed off of lust and we can't have children but Logan please!! Please let me turn you!"

"Do it....I want to see the future"

A relieved smile made Patton shine and his horns suddenly turned a bright bright blue. He looked down and nodded while tearing up. He felt in that moment it had all been worth it, and never being able to go back to Hell would be worth it too.

Patton laid the bed cover on the floor before carrying his lover to it and carefully laying him down. He lit the candles once more and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"You can let go now honey"

With those words Logan let himself relax and it only took a few minutes before the disease riddling his body brought him to death.

What seemed to Logan like an instant later he opened his eyes and looked up to see Patton crying with joy. He got thrown into a hug and shook around as his lover squeeled.

"IT WORKED!!"

Logan let his hands travel up to his head and felt two large horns sticking out from his skull before being spooked by his tail and wings suddenly twitching. He stared at his tail moving back and forth.

"Who- who told you this? You said the Boss of Heaven? How-"

"Nothing is wrong if it's done for love Logie! I forced my way into God's office and held them at knifepoint until they wrote down everything I needed to know to keep us safe!"

"You......" Logan had to sit in silence for a minute "You talked to God for my sake?"

"Honey I was ready to kill God for your sake"

Patton staggered back and laid down flat on the floor with the notebook that had been written in by God still tightly held in his hand.

"Ooooh I think the last of my adrenaline just went outttt. OooOoooWwWWW Everything hurrrttss.." He sniffed "Ough I stink. I didn't know blood smelled this bad"

"You've done enough my love, I will take care of you now"

--

Scotland 2024

"That's that. Was that information satisfactory?" Logan concluded.

"THAT! That ball of soft fluff THREATENED GOD!?" Janus yelled back.

"Yes"

"This week is just so normal. Never been this bored in my life. Nothing life changing happening at all. Is like religion..real or?"

"No, God is just a name"

"Ah...Good. Going to unbook that ticket to church then I guess" He leant back in his chair and threw his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"I'm baaCccKkk!" Patton sing-sang "With groceries!"

Janus jumped at the sight of him "Put the bag of groceries on the counter and back away before you go Rambo on me as well"

The demon did as told but muttered to his husband "Who's Rambo? The only Rambo I am is rambo-nctious!"

"I told the human about how I became a Demon"

"Oh...." He stood still for a few seconds before his eyes became filled with tears and he wordleedsly moved in to hug his husband to which Logan help him close.

"It's okay honey, I have already told him everything, you won't have to talk about it" His husband reassured.

"Maybe if I had looked closer I would have seen a few humans up there. The thought of them just disappearing" He sniffled "Is just so horrible. And the poor guardian Angels doing all that work for nothing"

"Mhmm" Logan knew better than to try and argue back since Patton far preffered to repress the truth. It made no logical sense for humans to go to Heaven or Hell once they died and Patton telling him about the lack of humans in Heaven only made that fact clearer to him.

meanwhile Janus went through the groceries he had requested and used the stove to make a whole stack of smore sandwiches with sprinkles on top. He put them all on a plate and turned around to see the demons snuggling.

"Ew. You have warm water running here don't you? Okay I am taking a self care bath to ponder, alone. Do either of you have a phone I can borrow? I'm going to go call the fbi on your asses and totally not just like listen to music" Logan handed him his phone "Thanks. I'll see you in 2 hours or whenever I run out of warm water"

The human left and Patton stayed sitting on his husband's lap until Logan's legs began to fall asleep. A tap came on the window and he turned to see Remus pressing his snooty face up against the glass.

'Can I come in yet???' He signed.

Logan simply did a thumbs down while slowly shaking his head "That idiot"

"aww don't be mean"

"He's basically brought an Angel to our doorstep. It makes me figuratively shiver thinking about what that Angel could be doing right now"

--

"Ehhhh Mamma mia!" Virgil exclaimed.

"EAsy peasy! The winner takes it all!" Roman shouted right back "Your turn! Sweeney Todd"

"A little priest. Rocky Horror!"

"Planet schamnet janet!"

Virgil snickered "A deepcut. Fucking nerd"

"Your turn! Cats!"

"....uhhh.....uhm....."

"Time's up! You gotta drink!"

Virgil knocked back half a can of monster energy which made his already naturally jittery arms shake even more. He was sitting on the edge of his bed facing Roman as she sat crosslegged on the edge of hers with the cans of monster between them.

"You seriously don't know any songs from cats?"

"Not of the top of my head! I only know like..cool...gothic....epic musicals"

"Rum tum tugger did not rum tum tug for his life for you to forget him like this! Oh! The role I was born to play! He's tall! Handsome! A remarkable falsetto! And he fucks like there is no tomorrow! So relatable" He gasped "The full show is on the yubtube, I can show you!"

Virgil glanced at his phone "We should get ready for the bus. We can't exactly stay here forever"

"Whyyyy nooootttt"

The demon sunk down on the bed like a deflated baloon while Virgil went to the bathroom to get ready. The sound of the watertap being turned on filled her ears and as she closed her eyes she imagined a beautiful beach in front of her. She hadn't been to the beach in what felt like forever. There were no beaches in Hell, only cold corridors and bunkbeds with no privacy and The Manager-

Roman sat up with a gasp. He moved his hands up and down his arms to remind himself that the manager wasn't here, he was safe, none of what he was feeling was real. But still he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts even for a second so he got up and staggered over to the bathroom and burst into laughter at the sight of Virgil leaning as close to the mirror as he could to put on his eyeliner.

"What's so funny?"

"It is just absolutely adorable that you left in a hurry to protect your human but still brought your eyeliner with you" Roman got out between giggles "I admire the dedication"

"It happened to be in the pocket of my hoodie! It's not like it was deliberate!"

"Sure. Sure. Whatever you say emo darling" Roman stepped in beside the angel to look at himself in the mirror "Could you eyeliner me up as well? I'm not feeling that pretty right now"

Virgil jaw dropped "Are you kidding me?"

"Hmm?"

"bro dont piss on my leg and tell me its raining" He scoffed "Not pretty. Bullshit innit. Whatever. Close your eyes and try not to move too much"

Virgil placed his hand along the demon's cheek to steady her head before bringing the eyeliner pencil to her eye with his other hand. He could feel her skin twitching ever so slightly and see her eyes moving under her eyelids.

He tilted her head to do the same under her other eye before using his thumb to smudge the edges out.

"Done. What do you think?"

Roman looked in the mirror and warmed into a smile. He was still borrowing one of the emo's hoodies and now with the make up as well "I look just as emo as you"

"Yeah all youre missing is some fishnet, maybe some striped knee high socks"

The demon threw his arm around Virgil's shoulders "Look at you being a real fashionista"

"ha...ha" He said in a dead-beat tone.

A tiny feeling of feeding emerged similar to a teaspoon of honey. Roman nuzzled his nose against the tussle of Virgil's hair. "What are you thinking Angel?"

He rolled his eyes but blushed all the same "Im just a bit touch starved, dont get an ego Demon"

Roman took his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist which left a glittering red lipgloss stain. The angel looked at him before averting his eyes down to the floor and stepping back. He shook his head and pushed his hands deep down in his pockets.

"This is wrong"

"I can be a girl if that will make you feel better"

"We shouldnt miss the bus"

"... Sure" Roman stepped to the side to let the angel pass by and looked at him collecting his few posesions. She quietly brought her wrist up to her lips and bit her teeth down into her skin to fight against the hunger.

"You ready?"

"Sure"

Virgil opened the door to the hallway before hesitating and asking "Hey so you want me to like guide you so you can like close your eyes and dont have to see that uh stuff that like made you panic. I dunno its probably a stupid idea"

"Thats so-" He cleared his throat "Thats exactly the kind of treatment a prince such as I deserve. Yes guide me my loyal knight of emoness!"

Virgil kept his hand against the slope of Roman's back all through the hallways until they reached the lobby. They took the bus to the train station followed by porting the train that would take them to Scotland.

"I dont think I've ever gone this long without having sex" Roman suddenly blurted out while pressing the papers from the mormon booklet he'd been hands into little paper stars "Weird. It feels so pent up. How do you survive...is that why you're so moody all the time?"

"Dude we're on the fucking train. There's people around! Shh"

"Oh come on Angel. Everyone in this train car has had sex! That lady is literally pregnant! You nerdy prude!"

Virgil sunk down further into his seat and hid his face with his hood "Whatever"

"What does it feel like?"

"Huh? Like being a uh vi- ugh I dont even want to say the word"

Roman shot one of the stars in between Virgil's eyebrows "No, not that. Being in love? How does it feel?"

"Shut up"

"I know youre attracted to me Virgey, it's as clear as cinderella's shoes but like how does that differ from how you're attracted to Janus?"

"I'm NOt- I-- Pff me? Attracted? You- you're ugly as hell! Mister uhh slenderman looking bitch!"

Roman snickered before leaning her head against the cupholder between their seats "I've re-read Romeo and juliet like 5 times, seen as many romcoms as I can and I adore romance but i can never.. No matter how many times I've tried I can't understand how it feels. Why so many people have been compelled to make wondorous art about being in love" He sighed "Im a hypocrite. If me and my brother were humans I would be seen as the weird one for never dating anyone and being a slut-- I mean he would probably still be looked on as weird but like because of his personality! Not because he doesn't want to have sex!"

Virgil eyed him before sighing ".....I dunno...I dunno how to explain it to you....I was just like made to...to protect Janus. I dunno what my purpose for existing is without him. I dunno what I'd do without him. All I ever think about is him. All I've ever known is him"

"That sounds like devotion, not love"

Virgil twisted his fingers around each other until his nails turned white "I need him to live"

"Well have you ever tried living without him?"

"Don't even bring that up. Youre gonna make me puke from anxiety" He lightly tugged at the demon's tail which made her yelp "And don't try to lecture me about love mister aromantic sounding fucker"

Roman just moved his tail up to tickle the angel's nose while laughing in response.

After an hour the train arrived at their stop. Virgil acted lazy to make them take the elevator because he guessed walking the stairs would leave Roman winded as hell but she was far too stubborn to admit that.

"So do you want to check out some local delicacies, whether that's food or humans, before we go and confess our love to our childhood human friend whom we have a codependant relationship with slash beat our brother up?" Roman asked while pushing the elevator button.

"I just wanna get it over with dude. Rip the bandaid off"

"Great strategy! Get the bandage off and then get off!"

Virgil squinted at him "Maybe you and your bro are kind of similar"

The elevator door opened and Roman stepped through it while replying "Okay don't insult-"

As soon as she had stepped through the door she disappeared out of Virgil's sight. He hurried out and looked around the train terminal but he saw no trace of the demon. He even used his wings to fly up to get the better view but there was nothing.

-

Roman stumbled headfirst into Hell. Before her eyes had even had time to process it the the sudden thickness of the air gave it away.

"How many demons can it take to kill a single human. One!"

The manager's voice instantly made Roman's eyes unfocus and his body go stiff. She recognised this room, it was the living room in his apartment and when she glanced out of the corner of her eye she could see him standing by one of his fishtanks.

"This one can never get enough pellets" He muttered while sprinkling the fish food into the water "She's a big one. That's why she keeps eating her tank buddies which means she's a smart one as well. You gotta eat a few friends to get ahead. Don't you agree?"

He felt the manager put his heavy hands on his shoulders while using his third hand to casually knock at his horn.

"Hello? Are you listening?"

He nodded.

"Good" The manager leant down so his mouth was pushed up against his ear "Where the fuck is that Janus cunt? And why isn't he dead?" He laughed "right, you cant talk. Wait here. I will get you some pen and paper. How nice of me"

The manager left the room and just like last time Roman couldn't move. She was completely stuck in place barely even being able to curl in on herself and tuck her arms close to her chest. Soon enough she felt a shoe being kicked against her lower leg and glanced up to see the manager waving a notepad in her face.

"Tell me what happened. Where is the green twin?"

Roman didn't move an inch to which The manager rolled his eyes.

"You're impossible! I'll do this on a kindergarten level okay. Did the human get away alive?"

She nodded.

"Did your idiot twin help the human get away?"

She hesitated.

"Come ooon"

The manager circled around him before suddenly jumping forward and putting his arms around Roman who screamed before clamming up and covering his mouth with his hands.

"Was that a...sound?" The manager pushed his face right up against him "Didn't I take your voice away?"

"It wasn't me. I didn't- I didn't do anything"

"I believe you. Don't worry, I know you wouldn't be able to take your voice back. The only demon I know who could possibly do that is....." A sick grin grew across the manager's face "I am going to get SUCH a promotion!"

He spun around and did a little happy dance before moving one of his arms around the succubi's shoulders and pushing her close.

"You want to see your twin again don't you?"

Roman nodded.

"Good. All you have to do is find him and Stay There. You don't even have to talk to him or signal to me. I know where you are, I will come there and I will sort everything out. It might take an hour or so as I get the cavalry ready so just stay close by. Okay?"

"I was already on my way there"

"Of course you were. That's my smart little Red-dy right there. Just keep doing what you're doing then" He sniffed "And please take a shower so you get that disgusting Angel scent out from your hair. It must have been really stuck in that human's apartment huh"

"....And my brother will be safe?"

The manager snorted "If you're lucky.....Actually! Maybe just MAYBE if you help me get this promotion I will have enough power in Hell to pull a few strings and keep your twin from getting executed. They will probably take his voice away again but it'll be better than being dead"

Roman nodded "..Promise?"

"I can't promise that but if you help me I will do everything I can. You scratch my back I'll scratch yours eh? And just imagine! After my promotion! I could live in luxury! An entire suite! Big enough for you to get a room! No more annoying meetings for you or having to fill a monthly qouta of seduced humans! You could relax and see the upper parts of Hell! Travel to Earth whenever you want!"

He couldn't get any words out, only some sort of whimper that nearly sounded like a question.

"What is there to be confused about?" He rubbed his thumb against Roman's cheek "You're my favorite succubi and my favorite meal I have ever had in my long life. Of course I will want to keep you close by"

Roman's stomach turned into knots and she wasn't sure if it was because of hunger or fear.

The manager put his finger under the succubi's chin and tilted his head up "Are you hungry?"

If he'd been asked in the moment Roman wouldn't have been able to explain why he nodded, nor would he be able to explain it after hours of thought. Maybe he could say he was simply so hungry that he didn't think but that wasn't true. Maybe the months of being alone with nothing but being hurt had made the abuse feel safe in a way, comforting even. The brain wants what it is most used to.

"I am" He whispered.

"I can help you with that"

"I know"

-

The panic attack had come and gone and now Virgil was left sitting on one of the steal beams up in the roof of the train central kneading his cheeks to try and make the tearstains on his cheeks disappear.

A glimpse of a pair of red horns among the crowd made him stop his pity party though and swiftly fly down to ground level. He pushed through the crowd despite his anxiety about even being this close to so many people all in a desperate attempt to get to the demon. He caught sight of a swaying tail and grabbed ahold of it to make her stop.

"Roman?"

To his relief it was Roman who turned to look at him.

"Where did you go!? I've been looking for you for like an hour!"

"I....I wasn't used to havnig my voice back" Roman mumbled "I accidentally went to Hell- but uh nobody saw me. When I got back to Earth I accidentally dropped a few miles away and uhm yeah it took me a bit to walk basically"

Virgil blushed when he realized he was still holding the demon's tail "Warn a dude next time, you coulda given me a heart attack"

"Sorry. So lead the way"

"Huh?"

"To Janus. You can feel where he is right? You didn't lose where he was right?"

"No, no. I got him right here" Virgil pushed his hand over heart.

"We can fly there! It will go quicker!"

"Dude are you like...sure? You have barely fed"

"I'm sure. I just-" Roman's lip trembled "I just really want to see my brother"

Virgil considered giving him a hug but hesitated and instead started walking towards the direction he could feel Janus in "Okay, follow me"

--

The volume on the phone had been heightened to such a degree that Janus had been basically forcing everyone in the house to listen to his breakup playlist for the past 2 hours while he was taking his 'self care bath' whatever that now means. Logan pressed his face down into his husband's stomach to try and force the sound out but even that couldn't block the awkward energy of having Remus sitting in the same room. He grimaced more and more with each song he heard.

"Should I kill myself? Should I just drink a bunch of coke and mentos at the same time and explode from the inside?" He jokingly asked.

"NO!" Patton answered dead serious.

"Yes" Logan answered nearly as seriously.

The music stopped all of a sudden which somehow made the room feel even more tense. All of them sat in silence and waited for the sound of footsteps coming from the staircase.

"Ladies!" Janus said from the top of the stairs, now clad in a pair of Patton's yellow pants a button up of Logans "I've made my decision!"

"He's going to fucking execute me" Remus mumbled under his breathe.

"I am going to die!"

Remus swore his heart completely stopped for a second. He got up from the armchair with such speed that the chair teetered back and forth before falling over.

"Jannie don't! Please! You don't have to ever see me again but-" Remus started to beg but Janus interrupted.

"I'm not about to jump off a bridge you muppet. I want to be turned into one of you and I know that Patton can make that happen!"

All eyes shot over to Patton who squirmed in his seat "I've only done it once on a human and that was 400 years ago"

"Well does anyone have any other bright ideas!?" Janus looked around the room "Huh? No? Nothing? If what you're saying is true and the universe wants me dead for some reason and Demons are out to get me and that my best friend has been some secret Angel spy all my life" His breathe hitched "Then I at least want to choose how to die. You non human bitches have taken away my autonomy in everything else, I am not letting you take this"

"I think the plan is sound" Logan agreed to which Janus sent him a grateful look.

"You- you should think about this" Patton said.

"I just did!"

"No. No. More! Think for longer I mean! This- This is a big decision!"

"You didn't think that long before attacking Angels and threatening God for your sweethearts sake, why am I different!?"

"Because Logan was terminally ill! You aren't!"

Remus glanced between them "He did what now?" Everyone ignored his question.

"We have no knowledge of where the Angel is or when he will arrive. I would much rather we get this over with now so that me and Patton can leave well before the Angel arrives than for us to wait around for no logical reason" Logan added.

"I'm not doing this right now. If something goes wrong I couldn't-" Patton teared up "I'm not ready. Not now"

"This is exactly the bullocks I was referring to! You all think that just because I'm a human your opinion holds more weight than mine!" Janus straightened his posture and rolled his eyes "I won't waste my breathe on this. Come tell me when you've gotten the courage to do something that isn't hiding away in your shitty little cottage!"

[cosmicredcadet]

"This fandom is so queer friendly!" This fandom literally hates, bisexual, trans, nonbinary, and aspec people but ok.

[sukibenders]

*taps mic* Celebrities do not owe you insight into their sexuality, nor do they have to define or abide by your standards of how they act regarding their sexuality. You do not know them personally enough to inspect their private lifestyle in such a way, and even if you did that behavior still isn't warranted. Just because celebrities are more known to the public, doesn't negate the fact that they are people with feelings and aspects of their lives that they might prefer to keep quiet about. Sexuality, in general, is an intimate thing, that everyone experiences and expresses differently, and having random strangers deny or question their queerness does more harm than good. Stop acting like you're entitled to it.

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Kinda fucked how even authors of queer literature or creators of queer media refuse to use the word "asexual" in relation to their characters. Why do I keep seeing these people say things like "yeah I consider this character ace but I didn't want to commit to it in the text"

[hussyknee]

If you aren't reading KJ Charles's books I sincerely do not know what you're doing with your life.

[tangents-within-tangents]

You know what I realized? I might actually like romance stories if people just freaking wrote them well!

Like if they were just actually cute, compelling, realistic, and NOT straight up problematic and creepy half the time