#Are you the sun because you are the center of my solar system

[samismasawaysblog]

Alo Sam! Hope your day is going nicely :3

I'm just here to say that I love you! I don't particularly celebrate valentines day but I like giving people that are important to me nice messages on this day

Your art is amazing I love seeing it whenever you do put it out there it makes my day so much better to see your nice colors and the silly dudes you decide to draw

I also love when you write, even if it's just your thoughts answering my stuff I love reading and I get a little excited thrill on seeing you on my notify's.

Your an amazing person an absolute sweetheart an honest jewel of a person!!

I love you <3 and I hope you have a nice day

(Many (yes btw you can call me Many sjsjsjshsjksks I'm still gonna answer to your comments on my drawing 🥺 just haven't had the time))

Hello hello Many <3333 seeing you in my notificstions made my day BRIGHTER AND BETTER🥹🥹🥹

I LOVE YOU TOOOO ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

and like you i dont particulary celebrate valentines day too :D I AM GLAD THAT YOU THINK IM IMPORTANT TO GIVE NICE MESSAGES IM CRYING!!

YOUR WORDS ARE SO KIND and im so glad to hear that you like my art and toughts 😭😭😭😭😭

I absolutly adore your art it is so soft and cute and squisable i hold everyone of them they are sooo precious i love your colour usage they aşways go well together so muchh and your style i melt my heart yours frfr and your writings!! I LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS THEY ARE AMAZING I AGREE WITH THEM ALL THE TIME FRFR YOU SPEAK FACTSYOU SLAYYYY I LOVEEEEE SEEING YOU ON MY NOTIFS TOO it makes me soooo happy seeing you post reblog or write or even like stuff makes my day! Im so glad to get to know you and my heart is so happy to hear(more like see eyyy) your words (you generally 🤭🤭🤭)

You are the amazing one here smh smh

You are my star that i am orbiting around mhm mhm 🥳🤭👽🌍🪐🌞🌞🌞☀☀☀

my reactions that i couldnt put into words v

I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZİNG LIFE 🤗

HUG HUGS HUGS BIG HUGS FOR YOU WARMEST OF THEM 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

aaaaand lastly take your time! you dont have to worry about answering them 😋 Ill wait till the heat death of the universe 🤭🤭 so take much as you need 🥳😘😘😘😘

[clevercorvidae]

that "the center of my universe the sun in my galaxy" quote pisses me off infinitely because suns are a dime a dozen in a galaxy. ford you big faker you should know this i know your ass meant solar system get some damn sleep

[withleeknow]

like you used to.

pairing: chan x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, angst word count: 0.6k note: "things i wish you'd said" for the fellow wifeu hehhehhehe. first bang chan piece, people !!

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

you remember when things were good.

now, you can only hope for a fraction of how they used to be. you don't even dare to ask for good again. you just want things to be better.

the way that everything is now - you don't know if it's right to label it bad. it's just... stagnant. lethargic. lifeless and on the verge of becoming unrevivable.

chan used to put you first, or at least, he would always make you feel like you were the center of his universe. when you'd first gotten together, the honeymoon phase seemed to last forever. you revolved around each other the way that everything in the solar system revolves around the sun. constant. a fact of life.

which is to say that the love was always endless. unwavering. persevering and true.

you could always feel the efforts he put in to prioritize your relationship. starting every morning with an i love you and ending the day the same way. staying on the phone for entire evenings whenever he had to be away. showering you with flowers and adorable small gifts any chance he got because he knew you didn't like extravagant things. running through the streets in the rain, giggling like a couple of fools utterly in love. spending hours talking and stargazing until the night faded away and you couldn't even see the stars anymore.

you were perfect together, perfect for each other.

what happened? what went wrong?

when did he start slipping away?

the i love you's don't sound the same anymore. when he gets into bed at night and presses a half-hearted kiss to your forehead, those three words feel like an obligation that he says just for the sake of upholding it.

no "just five, ten, fifteen more minutes!" when he wakes up in the morning and wraps his arms around you tightly for some extra cuddling time, peppering you with kisses on any exposed skin that he could find. instead, chan opts to desert the warmth of your side moments after his alarm rings. no lingering touches on your body before he leaves. just his fingertips ghosting on your back as if to quietly say "good morning, i'm going now".

it's a feeling that you can't quite describe even if someone asks you to - seeing the person you love the most fade away day by day, in front of your very eyes.

he's the last person you would expect this from.

the hardest thing to accept is that nothing happened. nothing went wrong. there's no one at fault, nothing to pin the blame on. love just went cold, and it's one of the saddest things that you and him will ever go through.

because your fire is still burning, not flickering even once while his love has been reduced to embers and you're helpless; you can't do anything to stop it from going out completely and turning frigid. because he's still the love of your life, even if you aren't the love of his anymore.

there are so many things that you wish you could tell him, so many things that you wish he would say to you.

tell me you want me and mean it.

kiss me like you did the first time under that shitty street light near the corner of my old apartment. it was dark and freezing, but we were so happy then, weren't we?

you don't have to love me forever like you once promised you would. just... love me. love me again.

because when he comes home and greets you with a smile - an empty one - that doesn't make his eyes light up like they used to, you know that the clock is ticking faster; time is cruel and time is running out.

you wish he would.

but you know he won't.

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 02.01.2024]

[tonicandjins]

frequent flyers | lee donghyuck

CHARACTERS: haechan | lee donghyuck x fem reader

WORD COUNT: 13k

GENRE: angst, fluff, smut (non-linear) | best friends to strangers

AUTHOR'S NOTE: read with caution. this is written in a non-linear form, so you don't know when it's going to hurt ;) this is a dh x reader version of my markhyuck fic from ao3, but with a different ending

frequent flyers is the third installment from 23 moments with donghyuck

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: skin glowing under the dainty string lines and lined up lanterns hanging from the high ceilings, lips curled up to genuine smile instead of the usual teasing smirk plastered on his mouth, cheeks tainted in berry red—a single manifestation of the glasses of wine he’s had tonight, eyes round and sincere and everything you’ve ever known.

Zhong Chenle’s mellifluous voice echoes in the banquet, singing to the tune of lover as the newly weds take their first dance (third song in) in the middle of the floor, surrounded by couples and lovers swaying. From your peripheral view, you catch a glimpse of Park Jisung sneaking his phone out and recording the whole thing—after Chenle clearly mentioned no one else aside from the newlyweds’ assigned videographer is allowed to film him.

On other days, you’d love to listen to Chenle’s golden voice, and he knows this because from all the years you’ve known him, you’d supported his career and you’d spend many hours sitting in his studio, listening to him record, or sitting somewhere halfway across the world, watching him write his songs. I can listen to him sing all day, you’d say, but as the night jumps deeper into its darkness, you realize how excruciatingly long his 15-minute medley went by.

You look across the room.

Donghyuck looks enthralling like this: beautiful even after all these years, charming like he’s the day he turned 21, grown, earnest, and at ease. It’s agonizing to look at from where you sit across the room—hands wrapped around her waist, eyes closing as he leans in, drunk, drunk, drunk like the night you’d left him, heart void of you.

You begin to count.

At 27, you’re pretty much done with all kinds of romance the world could offer.

Unlike the person sitting next to you, you prefer to listen to Blushing Youth than watch some high-rated romantic comedy film during your 12-hour flight from Heathrow to Incheon, and while you’ve been moving around for most of your life (having earned your nickname as frequent flyer, credits to Jisung), flying is not one of the things you’re fond of. In fact, it’s not in the long list of strengths you brag about in your LinkedIn bio. You reckon it would truly be embarrassing, to say the least, to ask a stranger to distract you from the sound of the aircraft’s engine running at full power as it takes off from the runway, hence you opt to blast Ahn Jiyoung’s voice right in your eardrums.

It’s odd, people would say, for someone who’s supposedly mastered the art of moving from one country to another to be so terrified of flights, but if people want you to be completely honest, nothing sounds more horrifying than the thought of seeing Lee Donghyuck after years of radio silence.

As pathetic as it sounds, your heart still skips a beat—three, sometimes—at the thought of him.

Donghyuck, who used to be your sun, who had you orbiting around his gravitational pull for years, who used to be so close but not enough to have, who—if you think about it now—might have never been the center of your solar system after all, but maybe just a shooting star passing by.

The plane takes off, roughly and loud like you’d expected, and you catch a glimpse of a scene from Love, Rosie from the person sitting beside you and immediately regret going coach instead of flying business like how you would if your flights last more than ten hours. You hate this film; you hate it because Alex is to Rosie, like how Donghyuck is to you.

Alex and Rosie, like you and Donghyuck, are—were—long-time best friends who used to be inseparable until one day they’re not. Rosie misses her chance. Alex stops yearning, hoping, waiting, and finally decides to get on with his life. It’s a story of a bunch of tangled webs—a messy tumbleweed of missed calls and delayed flights, of long nights and short days, of forgotten promises and faded hope.

The film introduces new people, bids goodbye to old chapters, but in the end it’s Alex and Rosie.

And you wish that’s how your story went. You don’t end up kissing him in your very own hotel with an awe-striking view of the horizon right outside the window.

You bury the thought before you start missing him again. You run out of tracks from Blushing Youth’s discography like how you run dry from thinking about what happens next when your plane lands.

Might as well sleep it off.

A sharp, jabbing pain on your left leg wakes you up from your unscheduled sleep. Hissing, you find Donghyuck sitting on top of your legs.

“I swear to God,” you breathe, kicking your best friend’s weight off your limbs. “I will freaking kill you.”

“Dude, what’s wrong with saying fuck? You’re literally twenty,” Donghyuck replies, moving further so his entire body crushes yours, and you have to pretend that his warmth doesn’t make you feel some type of way, hence you push him as hard as you can until he falls onto the carpeted floor of your room.

He falls with a thump. “Screw you,” he mumbles, mouth forming a pout that you’d gladly smack out of his face—except you’d do it with your very own lips. “It’s almost one in the afternoon. Why are you napping?”

“Good question, Donghyuck,” you start, sitting up and rubbing your eyes while looking for the pair of specs that Donghyuck is already shoving towards your direction; you gladly take it. “Unlike you, I had to work in the café until one in the morning. I hate being rostered in the closing shift, but it pays damn well. Plus, I forgot to do my laundry so I had to throw my clothes in before I slept.

“Overworking again, I see,” he muses, sighing as he scoots to sit cross-legged across you on the bed too tiny for two people.

“The last week of the semester always sucks balls,” you answer, tilting your head in attempts to stretch your stiffened neck and get some kind of relief. “Why are you here anyway? Shouldn’t you be out there doing something stupid with Na Jaemin?”

“There’s a music festival on Friday,” he starts right away. “Jaemin’s wondering if I’d be interested to go, says he could get us some free passes from the guy he’s hooking up with. Apparently, the guy is DJ-ing.”

You blink. “Which one? Lee Jeno? Or Yoon Sanha?” you ask, genuinely curious because Jaemin is Jaemin and he could never be caught exclusively hooking up with one person.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Does it matter? Is it a yes or a no? That’s the question.”

He begins to fiddle with his fingers, playing with the rings on his long, delicate digits, and you recognize it almost instantly. Donghyuck is nervous. You might have an idea why.

“Is this you finally asking me out, Lee Donghyuck?” you half-joke, scratching your head. Donghyuck looks anywhere but your face. A glimpse of his eyes is all you need, because if the eyes are the windows to one’s soul, then Donghyuck’s are wide open, with no curtains and bare from all layers—at least that’s how they are to you. His eyes are wavering, and though he’s mastered the ability to keep his face tough as steel, those orbs could only do so little when it comes to hiding from you.

So, you smile, reaching out and leaning closer, kneeling until you’re face to face with him. “Only kidding, Hyuck,” you say finally, taking it easy because this conversation is not for one who’s hazy from sleep and one who can’t even look at the other in the eyes. “Of course, I’ll come with you. Who else can you bring anyway?”

Donghyuck looks up, rolling his eyes; he’s back. “You’re not really irreplaceable,” he replies smugly. “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

You poke your tongue out and reach over your night stand to check your phone; at the same time, Donghyuck starts biting his fingernails. You don’t think twice—like blinking, a habit, natural—and reach out to pull his hand away, mumbling about how he should start working on getting rid of this bad habit of his. Donghyuck’s hand is warmer compared to yours, and he lets out a whine, complaining about your freezing hands, but squeezes you hand back anyway.

You are content with this. You hope Donghyuck is, too.

The lingering touches. The stolen kisses. The piercing glances.

While they all seem fleeting and simple, they mean the most to you. You begin to think if Donghyuck feels the same as he pulls you closer until you’re both back lying on his bed, your cheek resting on top of Donghyuck’s warm, cloth-covered chest. You wonder if he means it, when he says you’re not irreplaceable and that maybe you’re a little too comfortable, a little too satisfied with whatever it is that you have.

On a drunken night, Donghyuck may have asked you once. You remember it and think about it so much that sometimes it felt like a dream.

“How long, Y/N,” he had asked, his voice an octave deeper than usual, gaze a shade darker. “How long until you let yourself just lose it? For once, just—just please, let your feelings consume you.”

You didn’t want to—not then, not now—because it’s going to hurt.

It’s going to hurt because it’s Donghyuck.

It’s Donghyuck who feels like home, whose hands are warm enough for your cold ones, your own little sun. Losing him is the extinction of your solar system.

“Y/N,” he had whined when you didn’t reply, shaking you, pleading. “When are you going to want for more? I want you to ask me for more.”

But Donghyuck had passed out before you had the chance to think of an answer—time frame—and you wonder what your answer would have been if Donghyuck stayed awake for a couple more minutes.

“I guess napping at this time of the day doesn’t sound too bad,” Donghyuck murmurs against your hair, kissing it before relaxing. “Set an alarm for me. 3 pm.”

You hope Donghyuck asks you again, not this time, but you hope the question lingers in his mind a little longer.

He falls asleep to the sound of your breathing.

When the person sitting next to you finally wakes up, you could only sigh in relief.

The aircraft has landed a few minutes ago, and your flight seatmate slept so soundly that it took you a couple of minutes to shake her awake.

The 12-hour flight is a pain in the ass, and you wish you mean that figuratively. Waiting was something that you were once good at, and Renjun often told you he wished he had half the patience you had. If you think about it now and reflect whether you’re as patient and as willing to wait as before, you’d changed vastly. Ridiculous, how one could change so much in a lifetime.

Huang Renjun is standing behind a barricade when you finally reach the arrival area after going through immigration. He’s holding a piece of paper that says WELCOME HOME, Y/N! Renjun doesn’t give you the time to cross the boundary because he attacks you in bone-crushing hug the second he’s allowed to. You almost topple over him, your glasses at risk of either falling out of your face and into the cold, hard ground, or being crushed between your nose and Renjun’s shoulder.

Renjun chants your nickname over and over again, swaying both your bodies left and right as though you weighed nothing. “I’m literally about to combust. My chest has been pounding since I arrived here. You have no idea how much I missed you, and you were taking forever to go through immigration.”

“Oh, Huang Renjun,” you sigh, inhaling his scent and returning the hug. “Some things never change. You’re still the sweetest when you miss people. Absence really makes the heart grow fond.”

Renjun pulls away to get a good look on you. “Y/N, you’re all grown up. I can’t believe you resisted not seeing me in person for four years.”

“You’re just as grown up as I am,” you reply. “We Facetime each other every other day. What are you talking about?”

“It’s never the same,” he mumbles and helps you with your luggage despite it only being one small luggage, a small duffel bag, and your small backpack. He starts nagging as soon as he notices how small your baggage is.

“You were away for literally four years and you think packing three old shirts and a pair of jeans will be enough to get you through your entire trip here?” Renjun gasps. “You’re stupid if you think Chenle and Jisung are allowing you to leave after what we’re all here for. They have an entire month planned out the second you agreed to come home.”

“I didn’t bring only three shirts, for your information. And I did bring a few pairs of trousers and a coat, plus my dress for the wedding,” you defend. “And I can’t extend my trip here. I thought we’ve all got that one settled.”

Renjun laughs, as if what you said is some kind of joke, as he leads you towards the exit of the airport. “You know we would 100%, without hesitation, burn your passport if it means we could make you stay longer, don’t you? I hope you don’t underestimate us like that.”

You chuckle at his empty threat, your chest swelling at the thought of your long-time friends being thrilled of your arrival in Seoul. You wonder how much has changed in the last four years, and you reckon nothing much has when it comes to your friends. You’d left when most of you were twenty-three, and the only person you’d ever seen in person since then was Chenle, who at that time, had business in London so he stayed where you lived instead of a luxurious hotel he could afford.

“We’re heading to Chenle’s place,” Renjun announces as soon as you sit comfortably in the passenger seat of his car. “But he’s still in his studio recording something, so he won’t be around until maybe five.”

“Why are we going to Chenle’s place if he’s not there yet?” you ask. “He didn’t tell me he had work.”

“We’ve all worked around our schedules to meet you today,” Renjun explains as he turns the ignition on and starts backing up. “And everyone knows his home’s passcode. Remember back in college when his stupid fancy condo eventually became everyone’s? That’s still how it is now. Only this time, he owns a penthouse in Gangnam’s most expensive building. What a spoiled brat.”

“He earned it,” you comment.

Renjun hums. An old track from the local radio station plays just as the vehicle exits the airport’s parking area. You hadn’t heard this song in years, but your mouth sings the lyrics as though it’s only been yesterday.

Renjun is amused. “Some things never really change.”

Donghyuck suddenly changes his hair color on Sophomore year in college. You, on the other hand, are about to have an aneurysm.

Na Jaemin makes fun of you, laughs as if your reaction is the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen his entire life. He deems it as the best day of his life.

“Jaemin, am I a fucking joke to you?” you ask. Jaemin doesn’t even bother to answer. “You think this is funny?”

You almost choke on nothing when Donghyuck decides to walk towards the table you’re sharing with Jaemin inside the university’s very own cafeteria. He’s holding a tray of food for lunch. The man himself has a shy smile on his face, evidently aware of the attention that the people around are giving him because of his newly-dyed pink hair, and you can’t really blame anyone if they stared a little longer.

Because Donghyuck is already beautiful, with his shining eyes and glowing skin and a smile that could make the earth stop orbiting around the sun.

But this Donghyuck, Pink Sun as Jaemin had started calling him, he’s something else. You might pass out if you look at him a little longer.

“I told you pink looks amazing on you!” Jaemin exclaims as soon as Donghyuck is close enough.

Donghyuck instantly blushes, but covers it up with a smug smirk across his mouth.

“Careful,” Donghyuck warns. “I don’t want you getting hurt if I reject you.”

Jaemin gasps, “You would never!”

Donghyuck playfully sticks out his tongue on Jaemin and finally, finally, turns towards you. Your breath is caught in a hitch. Donghyuck tilts his head slightly and you’re about to punch himself in the face. 

“What do you think?” the man asks, smiling cheekily. “Do you think I look better blond or pink-haired?”

You swallow. It takes you great power not to pull Donghyuck and kiss him squarely on the mouth.

Blond Donghyuck was a menace in the society. Pink Sun is giving you a heart attack.

But you’re not about to make things too obvious, so you shrug and mutter a small “either is fine.” Jaemin kicks you under the table. Donghyuck sighs, taking out his phone to open its front camera, probably to check himself out as he brushes his fingertips in his hair. 

“You’re cheap, Y/N,” he says, putting his phone down. “I basically burn my scalp to get this hair color and pull it off better than Lee Taeyong ever will, and all I get from you is, ‘either is fine.’”

Jaemin laughs hysterically, taking his phone out as Donghyuck takes the empty seat beside you—like always, because seats beside you are always reserved for him. Donghyuck carefully places the tray of food he got, immediately, your eyes catch the extra drink he has and your heart somersaults because you know it’s for you.

And this is supposed to be normal. Your friends tell you it’s a routine—every day—and you and him do things for each other like second nature. So, why does it make your heart race like this?

Your phone chimes as Donghyuck starts eating.

“We really need to work on your communication skills,” the text message from Jaemin says.

Your comprehension in Korean went from bad to worse, if it’s even possible.

Renjun is currently roasting you for it, while Jisung and Kim Minjeong are arguing about what to eat. You tell them how small the Asian community in London is as compared to other countries. Jaemin announces that Mark Lee just boarded his flight from Vancouver, too, and you cheer, excited to see him as well after all these years. Yoo Jimin calls out Jisung and Minjeong’s bullshit and says she’d already ordered from the nearest restaurant.

How you all end up in Chenle’s penthouse before the owner himself is aware, you have no idea. All you know is that things have not really changed that much.

You feel a little disoriented, your mind still a little hazy from the 12-hour trip, and you hate that the jetlag is hitting you as early as now. You feel like you could fall asleep anytime soon.

Then you hear familiar voices faintly coming from the door, then the door itself being unlocked. You observe from the digital clock above Chenle’s fancy television that it’s only nearly two in the afternoon, so it’s not Chenle who’s coming in.

Donghyuck appears from the door before you realize it, and he takes your breath away before you could even look him in the eyes.

“Sorry, we’re late,” the dark-haired man says, his voice making you feel suffocated, stepping out of his boots because God forbid anyone who steps inside Zhong Chenle’s penthouse wearing the outdoor shoes.

Lee Jeno enters behind him, his eye smile ready to meet you, while Jaemin says they arrived just in time for lunch. All is a blur and everything sounds like white noise, because Donghyuck looks at you in the eyes with the softest gaze, the smallest smile, and suddenly it doesn’t feel so cold in Seoul.

Jeno walks past him and finds his space beside Jaemin. You hear Renjun and Jisung start arguing about another thing. All while Donghyuck stays still from where he stands, about ten feet away from your space, eyes still on you.

When they’re done dancing, Donghyuck walks with her, holding her hand and keeping her close.

He passes by, doesn’t even take a glance to your direction.

Donghyuck looks at you in amusement.

“It was terrible,” you grunt. “The worst day of my life.”

He giggles and pulls you in his arms, kissing the top of your head while you stand in the middle of the room. You’re still dressed in your warm clothes as you’d just arrived from the airport. You sigh in relief because you’ve been waiting for this all weekend.

“Don’t be too dramatic,” he mumbles. “Your cousin’s going to be ballistic if he learns that you called his wedding the worst day of your life.”

“You should’ve gone there with me,” you muse. “They were introducing me to so many people, and my uncle knows I’m shit at socializing, therefore forcing me to hang out with people I barely know is like stabbing me in the eye and asking me how many fingers you’re holding up.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “What could I have done if I were there?”

You smile, burying your face in his warm chest. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why’d you need me there?” Donghyuck asks again. You know he’s teasing you now, poking until he gets the answer he wants to hear. And you’re not about to deny Donghyuck of that. Besides, nothing is more satisfying than knowing you could make Donghyuck feel flustered despite of his strong, wild persona. So, you reach up and kiss him on the chin and hug him closer.

“Because nothing is as bad as it seems when you’re around, my love.”

Donghyuck begins to pull away, making you hold onto him tighter, as if your hands would grow cold without touching him. Donghyuck only laughs, allowing you to hug him longer, and you wonder if you could stretch this night out for as long as he can. 

The moment passes by quickly.

“Donghyuck, will you at least listen to me?”

“I’m done, Y/N.”

Renjun announces he’s done cleaning up.

Jaemin doesn’t waste a single second, getting up from his space on the other couch and announces it’s time they really catch up with everyone. It turns out that Jimin herself just got back from Germany yesterday as well, while Minjeong took a week off from work, and all had waited for you to come home before gathering in Chenle’s place.

“Mark’s a piece of shit, just like you,” Jeno comments when asked why the older didn’t take the earliest flight. Apparently, like yourself, Mark couldn’t get a couple of weeks off from work, hence he’d decided to travel a few days before the wedding, which is essentially why you all had a reason to gather once again after all these years.

“Why are you all harassing me and Mark for not being able to take a longer leave from work?” you whine, throwing a cushion towards where Jeno is seated, right beside Jimin. “It’s not like we can help it!”

Minjeong snorts, “You could’ve said you have COVID or something.”

You snicker. “Only you could think of that, Minjeong-ah.”

Jeno talks about his recent flight to Yonagunijima in Okinawa for a business trip. Renjun tells him he’s never gone that far in Japan, his farthest trip being in Osaka; Jeno says he can take him there anytime he gets some free time from work. Jaemin hypes up Jisung’s newly built dance studio and the contract he’d just signed with the biggest entertainment company in Asia, to which Jisung only downplays and says it’s not that big of deal.

You and Donghyuck stay quiet while everyone else talks over one another. He sits at the other end of the same couch you’re sitting on while Jisung occupies the space between you and him. Renjun probably feels the tension, so he cuts it.

“Donghyuck, what have you been up to?” Renjun asks, reaching over for a piece of chocolate you’d stolen from Chenle’s fridge.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Renjun-ah, don’t act like we don’t see each other every weekend.”

Renjun scoffs. “We’re here to catch up. Do you want me to tell them what you’ve been up to myself?”

Donghyuck throws a cushion and misses. “Nothing’s new about me, guys. Nothing that’s interesting enough.” Then, he leans forward and turns to you. “Maybe Y/N has anything to say. I mean, she’s the one who’s been away the longest.”

It takes you aback, the interaction unexpected, and gets you stuttering. “I’m—There’s really nothing, I mean.”

Donghyuck laughs lightly. “Loosen up. You look like you’d rather be elsewhere but here.”

“It’s not like that,” you defend. “It’s just—jetlag.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck nods. “How long was the flight?”

“Twelve hours,” you answer. Renjun does his best, distracting everyone else with a new conversation so you and Donghyuck, you assume, would feel more comfortable rather than have everyone listen to you talking with the person you used to know the best. Jisung tries to subtly leave, pretending like he needs to go to the restroom, and you know it’s a tactic because you also know Jisung like the back of your hand.

Donghyuck immediately moves closer, taking the space Jisung used to sit on, the distance pulling the air out of your lungs.

“And my flight was delayed for a couple of hours because of a storm,” you continue, clearing your voice. “So, fourteen hours in total, plus one hour from Incheon to Gangnam.”

Donghyuck nods. “Well, you fly frequently.”

You nod back. “Not that frequently anymore. Since the pandemic, I’ve been working from home a lot; there was no need to travel after all. Or move to a different country. It turns out we can do everything virtually.”

Donghyuck chuckles, almost sarcastically. “What a shame that the entire world realized suddenly that everything could work virtually.”

You smile, sadly almost. “Yeah. What a shame.”

“I didn’t get the whole thing,” Jisung sighs. “What a shame. The last parts were the best.”

“You know Chenle’s going to kill you if he finds out you took a video, right?”

Jisung nods proudly. “That was the point.”

“Lia, wait,” Donghyuck’s voice echoes—not loud enough to catch anyone else’s attention, but definitely enough for you. You watch him follow Lia out.

You decide you’ve had enough. The wedding’s done now, anyway. There’s nothing left for you here.

Jisung looks at you. “Y/N.”

“Just need some space, Jisung,” you say. “I’m okay.”

“You’re lying,” You gasp, almost dropping your iPad upon Donghyuck’s revelation. “Holy shit, Donghyuck, that’s huge!”

“Never thought I’d hear that in another context but thanks, my love,” Donghyuck replies, a proud smile etched on his mouth. He reaches over and shows you a piece of paper, the confirmation of his participation in a convention in Shanghai a couple of weeks from now. 

“Wait until Jaemin hears this,” You ramble, already on his phone to text said friend about the good news. “He’s going to throw a party for you.”

“You guys are too proud of me,” Donghyuck whines. “What if I end up being such a flop outside my comfort zone? There are going to be so many amazing artists out there. I heard some vocal majors from Konkuk are attending the conference with me, and I am already terrified of them. I can't imagine myself once I'm surrounded by even more talented and more intimidating singers."

You put down your tablet on your desk, sighing as you step closer towards Donghyuck. You’re in the apartment you share with Jimin, and Donghyuck called in earlier to tell you he’s got some great news. Neither of you really have much time to meet these days, with your internship at Seoul's biggest web developer company and the drastic changes in Donghyuck's schedule, it's a little too difficult to hang out in the safety of your apartment.

Donghyuck is evidently taken aback when you suddenly wrap an arm around his neck, tumbling when you pull him closer and kisses the air out of his lungs. You regret closing your eyes when your lips touch, thinking about the way Donghyuck looks like whenever you kiss him like this. Like Donghyuck's all you’ve ever needed. Like all the years of pining and hurting are expressed in a single kiss. Like it's everything you’ve always wanted and more.  

It's not the first time you kiss—you’ve lost count you made out in the back of Jeno’s car two months ago while all your friends are drunk and out of their minds—but it always feels like it is.

Donghyuck's lips are soft, soft, soft, and you can never get enough of the kissing him. The first, featherlight, a little hesitant touch of your lips would be your second favorite part (the favorite is when Donghyuck's licking your mouth and nibbles on your lower lip), and his hands, his delicate hands would always be in your hair, pulling and pressing and touching.

It's perfect. Donghyuck pulls you down with him on your very own bed, letting you sit on his lap.                   

He's kissing you everywhere, your lips, your cheeks, your nose, your neck, your jaw, but he stops when you begin to unbutton his shirt. You look down on him, confused and eager and dazed, and usually, Donghyuck would give in without a single fight, but this time he stops you. 

"What are we doing, Y/N?" Donghyuck lets out, like he's been holding this breath forever and now he's finally exhaling it.

"We're," you start, confused why he’s asking all of a sudden, but you don’t really have an answer to that. "We're—”

"Messing around. Having fun while we can," Donghyuck finishes, quoting your own words the first time you hooked up. "I know. But that was before, right? What about now? What are we doing now?"

Your hands drop on Donghyuck's side. Donghyuck quickly takes both of them in his, giving you a comforting squeeze, as if he's encouraging you to say something. To be brave. To let go. 

"We can't go on like this if you don't answer me, Y/N," Donghyuck says softly. "I know what I want, and you know that it's you. Just you. From the beginning. As long as I live. And you are making me happy right now. But I need to know if this is what you want, too."

"Love, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want you," you explain, eyes wavering.

"Y/N, listen to me," Donghyuck urges, letting go of one of your hands to hold your face so you could look into each other's eyes. "Tell me now. Tell me now, honestly, if this is something you would want in the long run."

"Donghyuck," You sigh, like you’re begging for Donghyuck to stop asking. But Donghyuck doesn't let his guard down. He keeps his hands on you, waiting.

You want nobody else but Donghyuck, too. From the beginning. For as long as you live. And Donghyuck is making you happy, and you know well that Donghyuck will make you happy in the long run. The last two months of whatever game you’re playing had been fun. There was no agreement on being exclusive, no rules of some sort, and it all fell into place like you and him are supposed to end up like this. You hadn’t put a label on it, but you and Donghyuck are best friends for many years now. You went through growing pains together, survived each one of the flights you frequently took around the world, went to the same college together, and you don’t really see the point of rushing for a label now.

Because you have other things in mind other than what you feel right now. You have codes to master and board directors to impress. Donghyuck has auditions to pass and flights to catch as well, and now, an opportunity in Shanghai. Not to mention you’re both cramming to have the best credentials to get you the best job after graduation. Now is not really the best time.

So, just like many happenstances in your life, you come up with a stupid, stupid answer.

"I—I don't know, Donghyuck," you say nervously. "I mean, you're clearly making me happy. And I don't plan on seeing anyone else, but I haven't really gotten around to think about it."

Donghyuck takes his touch away all of a sudden. You reach out to hold his hands in place back to your face, but he lets go.

"Think about it?" Donghyuck asks, voice shaking. "What is there to think about? It's a simple question, Y/N. Do you want me for a long time or am I just some good fuck for you?"

"Donghyuck, why are you saying that?" you retort, angry now. "I just said you make me happy. And I'm not playing with you. I just—it's—with all the things going on in my life and yours, a relationship is not something I can maintain right now."

"Maintain?" Donghyuck chuckles, pulling his hands away, gently pushing you off his lap and standing away from your bed to put some space between you and him. "Y/N, we've been best friends since we were in high school. Literally nothing has changed for us except we kiss and fuck now. What is there to think about? I really do not understand."

You sigh. The sound of it makes Donghyuck pull away further until he’s picking up his backpack. 

"Donghyuck, wait," You say, but Donghyuck is already out of his room, barefoot, his shoes in his hands.

Barefoot, his shoes in one hand, two bottles of beer on the other, Donghyuck finds you by the pool outside the wedding reception. He sits beside you and mimics the way you rolled the bottom of your dress up to your thighs so it doesn’t get wet and does the same with his expensive trousers.

“What are you doing out here?” you muse, eyes staring blankly at the way your feet look blurred out underwater. “Shouldn’t you be inside getting drunk and having the time of your life?”

Donghyuck chuckles, his cheeks painted like cherries, mouth glazed like strawberries, and hands you the cold bottle of beer. “I’m already drunk. Do you think I’d have the courage to come find you here if I was sober?”

You nod, taking the bottle from his hand. “Good point. Fun party?”

“Jaemin and Jeno never fail to organize the best party,” he stammers. “They used to invite everyone in their shared apartment to play the American games they learned from Johnny-hyung. I can’t believe they’re married now.”

Jaemin and Jeno, the very reason why all of you gathered after all these years, have always been destined for each other, and you know this because you’d seen them start off as nothing and watched them turn to everything. Their wedding had been the sole reason why you’d returned to Seoul.

“I always knew they’d end up together,” you mutter, drinking from the cold bottle. “I used to manifest it. I said it all the time I saw them together.”

Donghyuck giggles. “You used to believe in the law of attraction so much. You manifested everything that’s happened in your life.”

“I did, didn’t I?” you reply, tasting the bitterness coming from the drink, a reminder why you prefer any other drink aside from beer.

It’s quite for a minute until Donghyuck talks.

“Why didn’t you manifest us?” he says suddenly, words a little grumbled. He’s probably had too much to drink already. You hold onto him naturally as his head starts swaying until his head is leaning against your shoulder, close enough to hear each other breathing. “Y/N, why did you never say we’d end up together like this, too? You were so damn good with this law of attraction bullshit. You could’ve manifested our wedding, too.”

Donghyuck is drunk, and drunk Donghyuck is always vulnerable. His tone of voice is enough for you to decide to cut this trip shorter than it already is. A week, you had promised Jeno and Jaemin, you’d leave two days after the wedding. But at this moment, when you’re frozen in place, Donghyuck’s warmth touching your coldness, you begin to ponder if it had been a good idea to come back in Seoul at all.

You love Jeno and Jaemin and would do anything for them in a heartbeat. Therefore, when the couple announced their engagement two months ago, it had been a quick, solid yes, of course, I’ll be there because you wouldn’t miss their wedding for the world, even if it had been exactly four years and two months since the last time you’d breathed the air of Seoul and that you’d rather die than be in a 12-hour flight, you swore you’d be with your friends during such a huge chapter of their lives.

Your schedules were immediately reconstructed, a ticket to Seoul safely tucked in the files in your desk’s drawer, and all your friends from London were already asking you to bring something back from Seoul when your trip is over. It was all set, with the promise of checking in with your teammates from work during your one-week leave, and it was the easiest itinerary you’d ever made. What you failed to prepare, truly, is yourself.

Somehow, you knew this would happen. You knew coming back would mean seeing Donghyuck. And seeing Donghyuck means opening wounds you’re not certain have healed and resuming conversations you’d never wanted to go back to. And this means, at any given time Donghyuck is within your space, you’d be a goner.

Because four years, it turns out, isn’t enough to get over him.

Quite funny, if you think about it now, how after all these years, you’re still orbiting around him.

You clear your throat, no words coming out, and Donghyuck starts to fall asleep against your shoulder.

Your right shoulder feels sore after falling asleep on your side on Chenle’s couch the morning after Jaemin and Jeno’s bachelor party. It was crazy, to say the least, and you’d decided to drink your guts to in hopes of not remembering anything in the morning. It sucks because you’re stupidly hungover and you remember everything.

The group was divided into two. You, Renjun, Donghyuck, and Minjeong were in charge of Jaemin in the other side of the city, courtesy of Jung Jaehyun for sponsoring and personally planning the grand party for his favorite dongsaeng. Meanwhile, Jisung, Chenle, Mark, and Jimin had planned Jeno’s very own party, along with Lee Taeyong who funded the event.

If you’re being completely honest, you’d think that after college, your friends would lose their sparks in setting up amazing parties, but last night proved you wrong.

The alcohol was disgusting, but you like that it made Renjun do things he wouldn’t do sober. Jaemin refused to get shit-faced drunk because his wedding is in two days, his hangovers usually last an entire day—he doesn’t want to show up at his own wedding looking like a zombie. Minjeong, well, she’s Minjeong, so she was just all over the place, nagging and getting drunk. She’s also a snob who thinks so highly of herself despite being the youngest in the group and liked to look down on her older friends all while attempting to stand upright after downing five shots of tequila.

Donghyuck, however, decided to bring his new girlfriend. Her name is Lia. And the only goal last night was to stay as far away as possible.

You knew that the relationship was new because Jisung filled you in before you had all parted ways for the parties, said that Donghyuck started dating her two months ago right around the time Jaemin and Jeno got engaged, Jimin being their bridge because Lia and Jimin have been friends since last year. Apparently, Lia’s been interested with him for years now; she just never had the chance because like you, Donghyuck also disappeared in and out from Seoul for a couple of years until he’d decided to stay here for good two years ago.

You can’t remember how many shots you had and how many cocktails were handed to you last night, but you wish you had more because it was evidently not enough to erase the scenarios from last night. It wasn’t enough to blur out the memories of Donghyuck holding her, kissing her, dancing with her, and just all out being a lovey-dovey boyfriend.

It’s a relief that you got home safely. There was no designated driver because the plan was to really get drunk, so Jaehyun had one of his employees drive everyone to Chenle’s penthouse because it’s the closest. You hope the others returned to Jeno’s place safely, too.

You stay still from where you’re lying down, eyes up on the ceiling, wondering what time it is. There was no plan for today aside from wedding rehearsal at six in the evening to make sure everything’s all set for tomorrow, so you reckon you have the entire day to get rid of your hangover.

You roll over to your side, facing the television, and the clock tells you it’s eleven in the morning. Renjun is snoring away from the other couch, and you remember letting Minjeong sleep on your bed for the night. You’re staring at Renjun’s sleeping form when someone on the carpeted floor suddenly rolls over, allowing you to see their face.

Donghyuck’s sleeping on the floor beside the couch, body parallel to yours so you can see his peaceful sleeping face, mouth slightly agape. He’s now sleeping on his back, head supported by one of the cushions, body covered with his jacket from last night. You remember parting ways with him with him last night. He’d taken a taxi with Lia back to her place while the rest of you went home in Jaehyun’s SUV. You don’t remember him coming back here.

You stare at him for as long as you can, because in the last three days in Seoul, you’d never really gotten the chance to get a good look on him. You and him don’t follow each other from any social media, so the last four years had truly been radio silence from both sides. Donghyuck, at 27, doesn’t look like he’s aged that much, albeit his round cheeks being gone, replaced by prominent cheekbones. It looks like he never bothered to get rid of the constellations forming on his face and neck, too, because they’re still here, just like many things that haven’t changed. Donghyuck used to love dyeing his hair crazy colors, now his hair is just colored naturally. His lips, wonder if they still taste the same.

“He’s going to melt,” Renjun says suddenly, you plop your head back to the couch, guilty for staring too long. Renjun sits up, stretching and laughing at your misery. “And you’re going to have a heart attack if you keep sneaking glances and getting caught. How many times has Jisung caught you in the last 72 hours?”

“Shut up,” you mumble, getting up and stretching as well. “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”

You carefully get off from the couch, making sure you don’t topple on Donghyuck’s sleeping body, draping the blanket over his body, walking towards Chenle’s fancy kitchen. Renjun helps you, rummaging through the fridge, and comes up with a breakfast menu with whatever you had in the kitchen.

Donghyuck wakes up before you and Renjun could finish cooking everything. He’s quiet when he approaches you in the kitchen, softly asking if you could make coffee for him. You don’t say no, of course.

“This is the most disgusting cup of coffee, I’ve had my entire life,” Donghyuck complains, leaning over the counter where you’re working on the opposite side of. “Stop jeopardizing the café’s reputation. You’re not some scientist so stop mixing concoctions from hell just to brag that you’re a part-time barista and a full-time college student. You make me sick. Literally.”

You ignore all of it, of course, eyebrows furrowed as you take another sip of the quote and quote disgusting coffee, trying to figure out what went wrong this time.

“I think it needs a bit more vanilla,” you think out loud.

“I will not join you in this stupid crusade of making your own “Barista’s Special” recipe,” he continues. “And I will tell your manager you’re wasting coffee!”

“Aha!” you exclaim when you think you got it right. “Maybe I need to level the grounds better and add another pump of vanilla. Let me try that. It should taste better.”

Donghyuck chuckles as you move around and attempt to make another cup. “You’ve been saying it should taste better since last week.”

He keeps complaining, but takes the new cup of coffee as soon as you’re done.

Donghyuck drinks.

You wait.

It still tastes disgusting.

“It’s sweet,” Donghyuck comments when he drinks it. You tilt your head. Renjun is finishing up on the scrambled eggs. You hear Minjeong come out of your room.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, hopeful.

Donghyuck shakes his head, chuckling. “Better than the ones you made when we were in university.”

“Hey!” you laugh. “I was awarded employee of the month once!”

“That doesn’t erase the fact that you forced me to drink your disgusting concoctions for three weeks straight,” he states, making you laugh even more. “I guess, all these years you’d learned what you were missing.”

“I’ll miss you,” you mumble against Donghyuck’s chest. “The internship will just be for a few months. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Donghyuck kisses the top of your head. “When you come back,” he mutters. “When you come back, I’ll ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You freeze.

“And you’ll say yes. And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

You pull away a little so that you’re looking at him face to face. Donghyuck has tears threatening to fall from his eyes. You wipe it off with the sleeves of his jacket you’re wearing.

“I’ll say yes,” you promise. “And we’ll graduate together and make a life for both of us.”

A woman’s voice announces your flight number once again and says the gates are closing in five minutes. Donghyuck kisses you in the mouth—a promise—and tells you he loves you.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” you say. “I love you, too.”

“Come back home to me, yeah?”

“I will.”

Yours and Donghyuck’s favorite restaurant was located two blocks away from his parents’ home. It closed a few years ago when its owner passed away and his children were too heartbroken to keep the business running. It was a staple from your entire high school life, and if you could say it, it defined your standards when it comes to food.

You’d just gotten a call from home that your childhood pet had to be put down because of old age and many diseases, and you called in sick for work—thank God, Johnny was willing to cover for you otherwise the manager would’ve rejected your request to stay at home for the day—and you’re truly not in the mood for anything at all.

You haven’t been home for quite sometime now, the last time being the holidays and you normally just spend a couple of days before heading back to the campus, so everything really sucks. You didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

Donghyuck hears this from Jimin, of course, because your roommate called him as soon as she heard you crying from your room. He literally carries you out of your room, says grieving is better when there’s food.

As soon as you see the person standing behind the counter, you recognize the place right away. Although located in a different street now, nearby where you are, the place looks exactly the same from when it did years ago.

“Y/N! Donghyuckie!” the lady behind the counter greets.

“Oh my,” you squeal. “Auntie, I didn’t know you’re back in business! How long has it been?”

The new owner, the late owner’s eldest daughter, smiles at you and tells you they re-opened sometime this year. She tells you to find a seat and confirms she knew your order by heart.

Donghyuck sits across you. “You like it?”

“Why did you not take me here sooner?”

He smiles. “Supposedly on your birthday a couple of weeks from now. But with what happened today, I guess this is the best time.”

“You’re the best.”

It’s Jisung and Chenle who find you and Donghyuck by the pool area hours later. Donghyuck had completely fallen asleep on your shoulder. The younger ones help you and practically carry Donghyuck towards the car.

Jaemin and Jeno have left the venue so they could prepare for their flight the next day. You hadn’t paid much attention to the time when Donghyuck drunkenly approached you. Jisung tells you it’s already two in the morning.

Chenle tells you Donghyuck had broken up with Lia—the reason, he’s uncertain—which is why she stormed off from the reception and Donghyuck decided to drink his ass off while you were wandering around the place. You shrug, acknowledging the news like it doesn’t make your heart race, like it doesn’t give you some sort of hope you didn’t know you had stored, and tell them they should take him home.

Jisung says Donghyuck lives on the other side of the city, so it’s best you all head back to Chenle’s.

Jisung and Chenle share the latter’s bed, and you’re not going to let Donghyuck sleep on the couch after he had complained about his back hurting when he’d fallen asleep on the floor the other day, so it’s only right that you let Jisung and Chenle carry him to your bed.

When you wake up on the couch the next day, Donghyuck’s shoes are no longer by the doorsteps.

His footsteps are loud.

“Donghyuck, this isn’t going to work if you don’t fucking give me a chance to explain!” You scream a few feet behind Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck is running away, and you’re beginning to think that convincing him to go to the gym might not have been the greatest decision because Donghyuck is literally sprinting, like he’s being chased by something so terrifying.

You almost stop. Donghyuck, who always called him home, never ran away from you all these years. Not, it looks like he’d rather be anywhere but where you. Nothing feels worse than that. 

You’d just gotten back from your internship in the US, one more term and you’re graduating. The internship was easily the best thing that’s happened to you this year. They were already thinking of offering you a contract as soon as you graduate. They let you go back home, of course, to complete your degree, and said they’d be willing to keep training you in the states and have you relocate to Europe once you graduate because they’ll be expanding their business out there.

It's also the night of Donghyuck's first showcase, the first show he's headlining along with musicians and artists from different universities. You had promised Donghyuck you’d watch and support him, but things doesn't always go on your favor, because as soon as you’d landed, you were needed back to the campus for an interview for the university’s publishing team because they wanted you to talk about your experience alongside the others who went to the states to complete their internship. It was supposed to be an hour session, but you and everyone in the panel liked the questions they were asking, and somehow you felt like this was a sign that the company in the US could lead to better, brighter things for you.

Hence, you were late. Halfway through the show. Donghyuck got mad, but promised he understood. He asked for some space, at least for the rest of the night. But you wanted to apologize properly, to take him out for dinner even if it's already past midnight, and insisted that you should talk about it. Donghyuck refused, you kept insisting, until the former said something about you being a shitty girlfriend.

It’s a shitty excuse, but you were absolutely fucking tired. You’re still jetlagged from the 16-hour difference, and the entire session with your fellow interns took two hours of your day.

What you had left for the day was so little, and you chose to spend it with Donghyuck, but he decided to be an ass about it.

"I never said anything about being your girlfriend," was your dumb reply, which is why you’re now running after him from the building of Chenle’s condominium.

You pull Donghyuck with force as soon as you catch up with him, and you’re faced with your worst fear.

Donghyuck is crying. He’s never cried before, not because of you. A deep painful breath comes out of your mouth, and it hurts when you breathe, like inhaling a cloud of smoke or being hit by a ball in the back. Donghyuck keeps crying, doesn’t even hide it. He sobs and heaves and he doesn’t wipe his tears.

"Donghyuck, can you just—”

“I’m tired,” Donghyuck sobs. “Y/N, I’m so tired. I sound pathetic and I’m not sure if I’m exhausted from the performance or I’m just done with you.”

“I’m sorry,” is all what you could come up with. 

“This,” Donghyuck says, gesturing the small space between you. “I don’t think it’s worth all of the pain I am feeling right now, Y/N. You’re my best friend. I—I, fuck, I used to think that maybe someday this will all be worth it, but I am tired of waiting for that day. I am drained and you have consumed all of me. I waited for you, and I keep waiting until you finally just—let go and decide you want to be with me and stop playing this never-ending game of friends with benefits bullshit we started. I’m done. What else do you want from me?”

“I—I… Donghyuck,” you stutter. I want you to give me a chance. I want you to give me more time to figure some things out myself. I want you to wait a little longer.

"I rejected Ryujin a week before you came home,” Donghyuck confesses. "When you were in the states, and you suddenly changed your mind about being my girlfriend and told me I should go out and date other people and that I shouldn’t hold myself back, I was angry. I didn’t understand why you were pushing me away so much when I’m here!”

You stay still, crying.

“I’m here,” he repeats. “I’m here and I love you, and I’ve never asked anything in return. And you tell me you love me, but you do things that—that hurt me. Every time I think we’re finally going somewhere, you—you push back and I’m just—I’m sick of it. And Jaemin said I should just move on if you can’t make up your mind because I don’t know if you haven’t realized it but Y/N, we’ve been at it for years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Jeno and Jaemin set me up with Ryujin,” he continues. “We went to a couple of dates. And then you called me saying you’re coming back home. So, I broke it off before we even got started. I told her it would be unfair if I kept leading her on when I know that I am still ridiculously in love with you. She said it would be alright and that she's giving me all the time and space I need to think about things."

Donghyuck curses and continues, "But I didn't need time and space, Y/N. Because I already knew that all I've ever wanted was you. I didn't need to think. I only needed you."

You don’t know what to say. You’re still holding him by his arm.

“If you're not going to say anything, let me go,” Donghyuck sternly says. You have a feeling it’s not the grip on his arm that Donghyuck is talking about. “Please.”

The single biggest mistake of your life happened on the third street from Chenle’s place, under the broken streetlight, across the ice cream parlor Donghyuck used to work at when he was seventeen. 

You let him go. Donghyuck stops waiting.

The wait from the audience was long enough.

They say your graduation day is going to be one of the happiest moments in your life. It’s not. Not at all.

Not when you’d gotten your diploma on stage and Donghyuck shows you he doesn’t give a fuck by looking everywhere else. Not when it’s picture taking time with your friends and families and he decides to stand on the other side, far, far away from you. Not when his parents ask him to take a picture with you and he shrugs it off and says he’s hungry and that he’s meeting everyone at the restaurant, leaving with his entire family.

Renjun whispers, “Does he even know you’re leaving first thing in the morning?”

You shrug it off, too. “Looks like he has other things to care about.”

Jaemin sighs. “You’re not serious about this, are you? You and Donghyuck better pull your shit together. Both of you already ruined the moment for everyone.”

Renjun eyes him. “It’s not your fault, Y/N. If Donghyuck doesn’t want to listen, then so be it.”

“It’s not Donghyuck’s fault either,” Jaemin defends. “Because he’s been trying to get answers and you wouldn’t give it to him. So, I don’t think it’s his fault that he’s done.”

“We’re not picking sides here, Jaemin,” Jeno says. “Let’s go.”

Jeno and Jaemin sandwiches you in a tight hug.

The next day after the wedding, in the afternoon, the newlyweds are bound to France for their honeymoon. They’re traveling the continent for two weeks (unfortunately, London excluded from their itinerary), and all of you decided to drop them off as if they’re leaving for years. In your case, this may be the last time you’re seeing them for a long time.

“I love you,” Jaemin says as the two very strong and buff men hug you. “I know things have been tough and coming back here took a lot from you, but thank you for making sure you were present during the wedding.”

“I hope this isn’t the last time in another four years that we’d see you in person,” Jeno adds. “We miss you, you know? Please come visit us when you have time.”

“I love you two so much,” you cry, emotional with the way they’re holding you. “Go have fun.”

They bid their goodbyes to everyone else and enter the airport.

“If I don’t get the same treatment when I leave, I’m ghosting everyone,” Mark announces. Jisung laughs. “What? You all acted like they’re going away for two years. They’re coming back in literally and exactly two weeks!”

“Go be unhappy somewhere, hyung,” Donghyuck teases, making everyone laugh as you all walk back to where their cars are parked.

Chenle needs to go back to work, so did Jimin and Jisung, hence they ride all together. Minjeong’s visiting a friend, so she’s riding with Mark and Renjun because they’re all going to the same side of the city. Which means, Donghyuck is driving you back to Chenle’s place.

“Your flight is tomorrow, too, right?” Mark asks. You hum, nodding. “Come visit me in Vancouver sometime soon, too. Or I’ll fly to London.”

“Wow, you have a lot of money to spend on flying around the world multiple times, huh?” you tease.

“Hey, you’re the frequent flyer here,” he comments. “Wonder how many miles you’ve earned and redeemed from all this flying you’ve done in this lifetime.”

You laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mark.”

Renjun and the others bid you goodbye. You’re not really certain why you and Donghyuck silently agreed to watch your friends leave, you and him standing a foot away from each other as they all drive away. For some reason, it feels like the last time.

The first time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s an accident.

You were drunk, and it had been a while for the two of you considering how busy you both have been because of finals coming up. It was convenient, if you say so yourself, to have your best friend right beside you when you were feeling hot and horny. The morning after was settled with a kiss on your forehead—no apologies as discussed, because neither you nor him regretted it anyway, but there’s a promise that nothing changes.

The second time it happened, you and Donghyuck decide it’s not going to be a one-time thing.

“So, to make it clear,” you huff as you quickly get rid of your pants while Donghyuck pulls his shirt off. “This isn’t a one-time thing.”

“I don’t see an issue if it’s not,” he replies, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down, pushing you against the wall and kissing you down your neck. “Besides, we’re best friends.”

You lean your head against the wall, thinking if it’s too late to back out, but Donghyuck’s already has his hands all over you—one on your breast and the other on your waist. It’s not really that bad of an idea. Donghyuck is your best friend, and your friendship has withstood time, distance, growing pains, and mostly everything. And perhaps it’s the way you haven’t stopped thinking about your first time together that’s making you feel so, so vulnerable under his touch, but it’s not like anything’s changed since that night. In fact, if you’re being completely honest, it made you feel like you and Donghyuck know each other better now—in ways that other pairs like you don’t.

Hence, whatever thought you had a minute ago, you throw it down the drain and you let Donghyuck (messily, heartedly giggling) carry you by hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist and bring you back to his unmade bed.

Donghyuck knows how to use his tongue, and you’ve kind of always known because all the girls he’s ever slept with talk about him like he’s a god of tongue or something. Donghyuck licks your lips before diving in, as if he’s giving you a taste of what you’re about to have, and he pushes his tongue in, massaging it with yours, and it almost feels like he’s teaching you how to use the muscle in your mouth. You realize how much he likes kissing, because he kisses more than he touches. He kisses you for what felt like hours, and you’re not about to complain about it.

You let him gently drop you on his bed. His warm palms caressing its way from your waist down to the side of your thighs where he knows you like being touched the most (and you’re not certain whether he’d learned this from stories or from the time you and him had sex); Donghyuck keeps his mouth on you as he rubs circles against your hot skin.

The finger he slips between your underwear and right above your clit sends you shivers down your spine. He allows you to catch your breath for a second, moving his mouth from your lips down to your neck, but doesn’t give you enough time to recover because he rubs your clit oh, so gently.

“We’re best friends,” he repeats, murmuring the words against the skin on your neck. “Nothing changes, except now I know where to touch you.”

He does. He touches you everywhere and slips his middle finger in your hole, sighing against your skin when he feels how wet you’ve gotten simply from kissing.

“You’ve always been such a good girl for me,” he whispers, keeping his finger inside, his palm pressed against your clit. “Such a good girl. Wet and ready for me. You really are my best friend.”

“Donghyuck,” you whine. He starts rubbing from inside, moving a single finger in an upward motion, eliciting a moan from you.

“What?” he asks innocently. “You are. You are my best friend. I don’t think everyone can say they let their best friends fuck them when they’re horny. Which makes me the best best friend, too. Because I fuck the brains out of you when you’re horny. Aren’t we the best team the world has ever seen?”

Donghyuck slips another finger in—easily, because nothing can describe how we you are now. He tongues the skin on your collarbone, licking and tasting and smirking all throughout, then he fingers you properly. At this point, your underwear’s stretched from one thigh to the other.

Donghyuck likes to tease you, and you know this because he massages the inside of your hole in a swift upward motion before pulling his fingers out and slowly filling you again. He does this slowly, then fast, then slowly once again. The explicit sound of your wetness makes him chuckle, leaving your collarbones and using his other hand to pull the left cup of your bra down and goes in. He bites and nips and licks and sucks your breast while he fingers you stupid—legs apart, shamelessly wet and fucking ready for him—and you take everything he gives you.

He doesn’t make you cum though, because Donghyuck is Donghyuck. Nobody is more cunning than him.

But he doesn’t make you wait. As soon as he feels you’re about to cum, he slips his fingers out and rids himself off his own underwear, then slipping the last two pieces barely hanging on your body.

He fucks you dumb. Raw. All his glory and skin. You have no other words aside from that.

He doesn’t wait because there’s truly no need to adjust with how wet and ready you fucking are. He’s big, but Donghyuck knows how to fuck well. He knows how to prevent discomfort and he’s done a very good job at proving that to you.

He fucks you missionary, and usually, this isn’t something you’d opt for. You like being fucked hard with no sense of affection and all that bullshit when you’re stressed and in need of some kind of relief. But with Donghyuck, it’s heavenly despite how sinful his hips snap.

He fucks you. Again and again. He makes you cum twice before he pulls out and spills himself on your stomach.

He kisses you, giggles at the way you’re dumbfounded, cleans you up, and lets you sleep on his bed as though nothing has changed.

Because nothing did. Nothing ever will.

“Funny how things have changed so much in the last four years, huh?” Donghyuck asks, eyes on the road.

Donghyuck’s said he’s driving you home. You haven’t been in Seoul in four years, but the route he’s taking is definitely not the way to Chenle’s.

“We’re taking the long way home,” he interjects when he realizes you’re looking at the GPS on his car’s tablet. “There’s, uh, heavy traffic on the usual way because of some road construction. And you’re going back tomorrow. You haven’t really gone around the city, so I figured it’d be a good time.”

You hum, looking at him with a small smile.

“Sure,” you buy. “It feels like only yesterday you were driving a beat-up Hyundai. Now, you’re all fancy.”

He chuckles, turning as his car speeds through the bridge. “Well, many things have changed since you left.”

Donghyuck looks beautiful like this: Seoul’s horizon running like a movie as he drives, smile soft, eyes bright.

“I’m sorry,” you brave up.

It takes you great courage to say it out loud. As best friends, you and Donghyuck had always said “thank you,” and “I love you” openly, and in countless of occasions, these words have healed scratches made around your friendship. Rarely you and him would ever say you’re sorry. The only time you can remember apologizing to him was the night, a few weeks before graduation when you’d just returned from the States after your internship. That sorry barely made up the wounds you’d caused.

At this age, you understand why saying sorry wasn’t normal for you and Donghyuck. You and him were inseparable. You were soulmates—are if you can bravely say it out loud. Your bond is stronger with him than anyone else, and you’d always believed that nothing could ever come between you and him. Like the decisions you’d made, nothing changed until something did. And when things changed, you and him had no idea what to do. Because as far as you can remember, you and Donghyuck remained constant, like a routine, a bible with a comprehensive and cohesive series of stories that’s never changed. So, when feelings got in between—denial and pining and confusion—neither of you had any idea how to handle it.

Donghyuck was bold and brave. You, on the other hand, had no ounce of courage to give it a try.

He only smiles. “A few years too late, don’t you think?”

You nod. “I know. Do you accept my apology?”

“If you buy me ice cream,” he answers.

“Done,” you say, smiling back at him. “I was scared.”

Donghyuck keeps his eyes on the road. “Of?”

“That I’d come back to Seoul and see you married with kids and all.”

“And what’s so scary about that?”

“Because it would mean I’d thrown away all the chances the universe has given me.”

Donghyuck looks ethereal like this: in a suit, smiling as he watches his bride walk down the aisle.

“Take care, yeah?” Renjun whispers as he hugs you.

Mark’s Dad and Mark himself are waiting for you outside. As most of your friends have gone home to their families after graduation, with the exception of Renjun and Jisung who spared some time today just to see you off, Mark volunteered (his dad) to drop you off the airport.

“I will,” you say, burying your face into his chest. “Any word from Donghyuck?”

Renjun pulls away and looks down. You know the answer.

“It’s okay,” you answer, mostly to yourself. “He’ll call me back soon. I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Renjun mumbles.

The only call you get before you enter the gates is a drunken one. It’s Donghyuck.

“I hate you,” he grits through the device. “And I never want to see you again.”

“I didn’t want to come back,” you confess. Donghyuck keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “Because you’d said you never wanted to see me again.”

“And I sent you messages you never received,” Donghyuck says. It surprises you. “Because your Korean number was no longer active and you’d blocked me from everything at that time.”

You smile, wondering if you had a little bit more understanding—if you had waited a little before deactivating your old number, if you had given it some time—would you and Donghyuck end up together in the end? If Donghyuck hadn’t been drunk the night you left Seoul—if he’d taken a taxi before you boarded the plane, if he’d just said sorry back—would you and him have gotten into a relationship right away?

Regret, just like grief, makes you feel things like this. They make you wonder what could have happened, if it would’ve given you the same, awful outcome, or if it would take you to the happy ending you keep dreaming about.

“Funny how we had many things we couldn’t say despite us being best friends,” he comments. “And you agree that many things have changed in the last four years, right?”

You hum, looking out your window, watching the horizon blur in motion.

“Donghyuck-ah,” you whisper, eyes still on the moving horizon. “The only thing that hasn’t changed for me.”

“What?” he asks.

“You,” you say. “You’re the only one that hasn’t changed for me. You’re still sharp when you need to be, but gentle where people you love need you to be. You’re still beautiful like the day I had realized I loved you. It wasn’t shocking, though. That day. I wasn’t all too shocked that your newly-dyed pink hair was the eureka moment for me. Because I knew all along. It was more like a flick on the wrist rather than a surprise. Like it’s always been there. The pink hair was just a reminder.”

Donghyuck stays quiet.

“And I say this like I’m hoping I could go back to four years ago and try harder to apologize,” you continue, tears already brimming your eyes. “But I guess we needed this, Donghyuck. We needed to grow—sadly—apart. And I feel like, no, I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to know myself better if we didn’t grow apart.”

“Yeah,” he speaks for what seems like a long time. “We were—you were right all along. We couldn’t just risk it all for a relationship. I had offers left and right even before we’d graduated, and you.”

You look at him. Donghyuck’s eyes are carefully still on the road, but his gaze is soft, eyes shining from the tears welling up.

“You were made to see the world,” he says, and it breaks you like glass. “I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I were the reason why you don’t have the life you have now. Because it wouldn’t have worked. I love you, and I just know that at that time, when we were young and all, I wouldn’t have let you go work abroad. The few months you spent in the state for a mere internship already shook our friendship in ways we didn’t expect. What more if we had been in a relationship?”

“Donghyuck,” you sniffle. “I love you. And it hurt. And I’m sorry it us this long. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

“Stop apologizing. Y/N, I would’ve let you go eventually,” he confesses. “Because I love you so much that I’d be willing to let you go if it meant you could soar.”

The sun sets in the horizon the next time you look out your window.

Donghyuck keeps one hand on the wheel and shows you the other, palm up.

You take it with courage.

And you. You look beautiful like this: dressed in white, smiling as you walk towards your groom. You best friend. Donghyuck.

[achaotichuman]

Hello 👋

I hope you’re well

You asked for headcanons for ACOTAR and I’m not entirely sure if this is what you wanted and if it’s not then I’m sorry for disturbing you.

I like to imagine that Tamlin and Tarquin are buddies and are rebuilding their courts together. They come up with a plan to get Spring and Summer back on their feet and all the refugees returned (coz I’m not entirely sure what happened to Spring refugees after the war but I think they are still in Summer?) Also working together to create equal fae and connecting with the humans.

Helion and Thesan are also buddies and get together regularly over tea to talk (about gossip?) but also other things too (like business between courts) And like Day Court knowledge and Dawn Court tinkering and alchemy working together for the betterment of their courts?

Tarquin and Beron do Not get along with Beron thinking Tarquin is young and gullible but Eris and Tarquin do. It started (somehow) Under The Mountain. Like what he wanted to do with Rhys (not trusting rumours and wanting to see the person before they make a judgement and somewhere there, they became friends) On that side note, Tarquin and Lucien definitely get along

It was mentioned that the Summer Court has entire troves of riches and books and stuff. They got this by their ancestors being Pirates!! Or something akin to that. Like they went to war a lot? This is not the most well thought out plot but I really like it and I hope you get the idea

Another thing is that Eris has at least once heard his mother scream due to Beron’s abuse and been unable to do anything. All the Vanserras have. They’ve also heard each other be tortured and couldn’t do anything to help them.

The borders between courts are rather strict and there are rules/laws about when one can kinda go through/over them. Tarquin and Kallias each had a cousin which were mates and fell in love. This led to a sort-of alliance type thing being created between the two courts. As such, this meant that Tarquin and his cousins when they were younger could go to the border of Winter (or a little bit in it) and just have a snowball fight with each other and other Winter kids. Like a fun happy memory for Tarquin to look back on. However when Amarantha killed the families of the rebelling High Lords, the mated cousins were victims which has led to a slightly tense relationship between the courts (or something like that)

Tarquin has a bunch of aquatic pets which he keeps in aquariums. He has a whole room dedicated to them. Like fishes and seahorses. Of the seahorses, he has one who he named Orinto. Orinto has a brother. He has a pet starfish too. He spends a lot of time taking care of them, feeding them and making sure they are happy. He also has the ability to talk to underwater animals (which helps him take care of them)

When Tarquin was young, he had a little toy sun who he called Sunny.

The Summer Court (and maybe also Day) has a lot of butterflies around. This is mainly because I heard butterflies like the heat and I feel like Summer (and maybe Day too) would be a good place for them.

I realise that I accidentally made this very long and I’m really sorry. They’re not very well thought out and mainly center around Tarquin but I hope you enjoy them.

Have a good day 😊

OMG YES I LOVE ALL OF THESE SO SO MUCH

Tamlin and Tarquin being buddies is one of my favorite things to imagine, it's just perfect. Two dudes who got screwed over by the same girl who tricked them, and bonding over rebuilding their Courts together. PERFECTION. And I absolutely love your idea of them establishing connections between Fae and humans, they would create a whole new system of government that would shake Prythian and I am here for it.

OOOOOH yes Helion and Thesan as a Solar Court's duo would be so great to see, we do not get to see enough of them and their relationship in the books and I would die to overhear their gossip over brunch. They would have all the tea on everyone. And hell yes to them working together to better their courts by sharing ideas and new inventions. Their Courts have every asset in order, I know it.

Now I need to see more Tarquin and Eris content, them bonding over trauma UTM and establishing connections between their Courts so that if they make it out alive they'll already have a foot in the political door, is just, I just love it. Also yes yes yes to Tarquin and Lucien friendship, that duo would be *amazing*

PIRATE ANCESTORS FOR THE SUMMER COURT, YES I LOVE IT. I totally see the vision, like before the Courts of Prythian were fully established, Fae were more wanderers than having specific cities and towns etc, and they were travelling on the seas. I like the premise, and this could be a really good fic.

Okay the angst fics I could write about the Vanserra family could last me an absolute lifetime. And the idea of each brother listening to Eris and the others getting tortured or punished breaks my heart, that family needs to be loved so bad.

Oh my god, now I need an AU of Tarquin with his friends going to Winter and having so much fun in the snow, and them bringing back their Winter friends to Summer and playing on the beach. Then post-UTM, all his Winter Court friends are reserved and cold (pun unintended) towards him. It would make his ascension to rulership all the more harder and the angst would be delicious.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes to Tarquin having aquatic pets. I just wanna see him on a lazy sunday afternoon going into his aquarium and feeding all his little critters. I already adore Orinto, we need a scene with them rn. This would be so cute.

Also I now need a fic of baby Tarquin running around Summer and Day playing with butterflies, that would be adorable!!!

Thank you so much for sharing these!!! I loved them so much, we need so much more Tarquin content because he is honestly just one of the best characters in the series and he needs more love.

You have a great rest of your day/night!!!!!

[saturnbellfromhell]

MERCURIAL ENERGY

We have dived deep into our two youthful planets Venus and Mars. These two are the daughter and son of our masculine Sun and feminine Moon. But what about Mercury? Where does Mercury belong and to whom does Mercury belong? For some reason I see Mercury as being the same matter which are Venus and Mars made of, but with an interesting twist.

▫️Firstly Mercury is a neutral planet, being neither masculine nor feminine. Secondly Mercury is the only planet in SECT which is neither a benefic nor malefic, so it does not bring good or evil into one's chart. Mercury just exists and by doing so stands out from the other planets that are in close range to the Sun.

In my perspective I imagine this invisible veil between the juvenile and elder planets. The juvenile planets include: Mercury, Venus, Mars and the Moon. These planets are the Sun's family and in this family of 5 we can clearly see how different, but also familiar they all are. All of their energies blend so effortlessly together, learning from one another and becoming great. Together with the ascendant they make up the so called "Big Six" in astrology. Meaning these placements are more personal than the others mentioned.

▫️Mercury is the first planet in our solar system, the burning planet which represents our communication style. Meaning it shows in which ways we get our words across and how we write them out. It is the planet always in search of new possibilities and opinions. A highly intellectual planet helping us reach our potentional to think quickly and rationalize. Mercurial energy can be divided into two signs: one being mutable air- Gemini, and the other being mutable earth-Virgo. These signs are both the homeowners of Mercury. Mercury has chosen them as residents because of their hunger for  new skills and their adaptability to unfamiliar situations and people. They are the listens, talkers, explorers of new information and one's who rely more on their head, than their heart. So both can seem cold or aloof to emotions. I think of these two sister signs as the scientists of the zodiac, always absorbing new information, reading about it, trying their hardest to solve it and enjoying the process. Mutable signs signify the end to an old season, Gemini ends spring and Virgo ends summer. Both of them hold energy of change, with change folllows flexibility. They are the signs which we can say "perfect" everything the cardinals and fixed signs have already done. By doing so they need patience for brainstorming, productivity and finding solutions. But not everything is perfect for these sisters, they can take on too many projects and become overwhelmed very soon with their decisions. But nevertheless, Gemini and Virgo are very detail oriented and restless individuals. But what are the differences between these signs?

▫️Gemini is the first sign of the air signs, which automatically means they are the child of the air bunch. They are indeed witty and open, charismatic and friendly, playful and chatty. They really inbody Mercury at it's finest. They love meeting new people and being in the center of the crowd chatting away their passions and interests. They adore making others laugh as well, they are known to be the class clown or the popular kid. Everybody loves a true Gemini, they constantly bring this wave of freshness to the table. Not very shy by nature and a master at blending in with the crowd. Gemini's flaws are one's related to not having enough patience to finish things. They get carried away with going out, searching new things, shopping, listening to music, reading books, meeting new people and a thousand other hobbies and practices. Because of this they can be a little bit unreliable and impulsive. On the other hand, I've never met a true Gemini (meaning not a lot of earth/water) who is secretive, sorry Gemini but I wouldn't want to disclose a lot of personal things with you being a secretive Capricorn myself! They don't do it out of spite, to be fair. They kind of just forget that information is very important and keep talking away. They can be a little naive and clueless in their forming years with what to say and what not to say! They are an amazing teammate or class partner to have around as well, showing new strategies of both ends. Gemini's are also excellent writers and journalists, with their sharp thoughts and unconeventable style they know how to get an audience hooked on their work. In love they are up for new adventures and crave constatnt intellectual dialogs, without them Gemini's are prone to get bored quickly and find a better and more intersteing mate! So if you can't keep a Gemini, you need somebody more mellow and down to earth...maybe a Virgo?

▫️Virgos in my experience get a bad reputation most of the time. Yes, they like things to be their way, but that's just an earth sign thing. Yes they are very organized and dislike people in their private space and yes they are perfectionists because of this they can become very self conscious of their own work. But not all is bad for this earthly Mercurial goddess. Being an earth sign always means more caution with socializing. Virogo's are much more reserved than their sister Gemini, I mean at the end of the day they are the older sister and with age comes wisdom. They are very pracital and bland, but not bland in a bad way just casual with their demenoir. They seek peace within themselves and a lot of space to create what they adore. If you ever need a power point presentation, essay, schedule befriend a Virgo. If you're prone to messiness and rearranging things, than don't even try befriending a Virgo they will curse the hell out of you. I think the thing I love about Virgo's the most is their loyalty and honesty, it can come across bitchy to some sensitive individuals, but I'm all about being upfront. They are also known to not really commit in a traditional sense, they kinda just move in, put their nicest cup in your cupboard and clean your house and than poof all of a sudden they are living with you. They aren't very vocal in their love language, more of an acts of service type of sign. They adore stability and routine in the relationship, soft chatty nights with a glass of vine and working together to make everything fall in it's place.

◻So the main differences are clearly in the socializing and optimism department. Think of Gemini as golden retriever energy and Virgo as black cat energy. They are opposite in a sense, but at the end of the day are amazing communicators, ambitious hobbyists and intellectual beings.

▫️Gemini is the owner of the 3rd house, also known as the house house of the mind. It encompasses anything that has to do with writing, speaking, communicating, editing, speaking, reading, researching and learning. It also represents our siblings and close neighbour's. So if you by any chance have a planet in the 3rd house it can indicate how you interact with one's close to you. For example if you have the Moon on this house, it means you come off as very emotional to your siblings, relatives or neighbour's. But it also depends in which sign, so if you're Caprricorn Moon is in the 3rd house, you are very distant to those around you, you keep to yourself and like to be the leader of the pack. Very polite in most accasions, straight forward, not very emotional to strangers but very protective over your siblings and relatives. The 3rd house can also show us our dreams, so if you have Neptune in this house it amplifies it! This house is also about development in our childhood, as known you learn from your family, siblings an/or relatives. Sometimes from neighbour's too. They fill our days and make structure in our life. School is also a crucial part of growing up, seeking more knowledge and getting to know oneself around a bunch of kids around us.

▫️ On the other hand, big sister Virgo has the keys to the 6th house. It is firstly the house of health and wellness, exercise and dieting. With this house we can pin point how individuals like to work out, this can mean yoga, pilates, the gym, sports, cardio etc. It also can indicate problems with our health, where it can decline, the more sensitive parts of our body's. For example if chiron is in this house it can mean a lot of health issues with the natives, by doing so this person will fill their life with a lot a information about taking care of their body and by doing so exchange this information with others to help them get/feel better. Other than your health, this house is also the house of daily routines. When and how you organize your day, is sticking to a routine easy or hard for you? Your day-to day job, duties, how we better ourselves and be of service to others. It is also the last personal house, so here we purge our self centered attitude before stepping in the house of partnership (7th house). After the 6th house our lives turn over to others, comprise, transitions, transformation...etc This is also where you find the answers to healing oneself, bettering your life and getting a deeper understanding of your surroundings. If you have planets in the 6th house you better find a way to work with them or you'll be prone to shitty days often.

Let's get into some of mine obersvations with mercurial energy shall we?

▫️Virgo Sun women are so so in love with their partner, but show it in such a cute manner. Not a lot of pda (only if you have prominent fire placements or a fiery Venus). They show their affection in tiny touches on their partner of spouse. They also love to make the bed, put on the show, bring the snacks and make a perfect evening. Their favorite type of unwinding is for sure a book, ambient light and some sweet tea. They also love to discuss what they have been reading lately or the show they've dug into.

▫️Virgo Moons can be very complicated (I see this with all the earth moons, even though Taurus Moon in my perspective is the easiest to have). They have a hard time finding the words how to explain their feelings, which they are not keen to talk about in the first place. But when they do, they can explain their pattern of behavior, but not really emotionally deep. They crave a modest, realistic and honest person by their side. They can also have a bit of ocd. I've met a few Virgo Moons who's mom/dad always forced things to be perfect at home. They can be prone to overanylizing their emotions and coming off distant most of the time.

▫️Mercury in the 6th house can be very nervous and on edge a lot of the time. Even though this is the house whereMercury is at home, these people don't let anything slip threw the cracks. They are amazing in theoretical writing and finding everything they need to write about in a matter of minutes. Amazing with describing things to others. Can be outstanding teachers.

▫️Gemini moons have a humorous take when explaing their emotions. They're the one's to say something sad and than turn it into a joke. They are also prone to becoming chaotic by not understanding how/when to react. They are great sharers of emotions and events, but not the best listeners. Communication, being via phone call or text is their love language, so reply to a Gemini Moon fast.

▫️Mercury in the 3rd house is the "it" placement for a writer, but I think I don't even have to say that...they already know this!

▫️Mercury in the 7th house is an amazing planet to govern this house. It keeps the partnership fresh, simple, full of optimism, great conversation and is never dull. It also helps in work partnerships, since things will be easier to plan together threw good communication.

▫️Mercury in the 9th house can mean you have a talent for learning/speaking other languages!

▫️Gemini Sun's have a good taste in music and they know all about the band/artist, of course. They have to know all about it! I've also met a got of Gemini's who listen to metal, being heavy, death or trash metal. I have no idea if this is a coincidence or not.

▫️I love how cool Gemini risings look like. They always have some fun accessory to show off!

▫️A Virgo stellium can mean you are very prone to isolate until you get your shit together. Their house also looks and feels expensive and sterile. They are the one's to go jogging in 5am, have their smoothies by 6 and than work, have an amazing self care routine and fall asleep on their silk pillows.

▫️Gemini Venuses are very experimental in the bedroom, they do love their partners to be a little bit older and enjoy playing with toys! Also they are very vocal in the bedroom.

▫️Virgo Venuses on the other hand can have a hard time. Since Venus is in detriment/fall in this sign it can be tricky. Virgo Venus individuals need someone steady and secure, someone that will really love them for who they are and make them feel safe. Virgo can be very sensitive so go hug and kiss your Virgo Venus babes, they need it. Don't expect a I love you back from them though, but they will show a lot of love threw their actions rather than words. They do like some ambient light and smooth music to get in the mood.

▫️Gemini Mercury's are really good at dirty talk, go try it out!

▫️Mercury in Sagittarius can be tricky when younger. Every archer is bad in the beginning so they need a lot of practice, in this cause it's with words. Sag Mercuries can have an outburst of words when annoyed, they can say things they don't want to say and not think things threw. They can come off very sarcastic aswell, but they are extremely witty and funny I have to say that.

Xoxo Numa

[pianocat939]

Okay, I'll just type out some background information for my planet idea before the actual indugence.

So as a I explained before, the people of the planets + Sun control their respective planet and keep the solar system in balance as much as possible.

Now, there is an unofficial rivalry between the rock planets and gaseous planets. The rock planets want to introduce civilization into other planets to construct more events for their history. (It's literally Earth and Mars being like yes and then poor Mercury and Venus are dragged along).

The gaseous planets don't want this at all. They want to keep the calm, stable world they have already.

Meanwhile, the Sun doesn't care as long as they're the center of the universe.

——————————————————

Okay, now onto more individual background information:

Mercury:

She hates everyone except Venus kind of type. Mostly because the other planets make fun of her size a lot. Venus is the only one she looks up to, and views kind of like an older sibling.

Thoughts on MC (Saturn): She thinks they're more tolerable than the others. But admits their prominent rings are really eye-catching. Finds it annoying when Venus is all pick me girl to them though.

Her thoughts and votes aren't noticed as much as the other planets when they make interplanet decisions. She's sad that they don't notice her individuality.

Venus:

True beauty queen and is very nice. But I won't lie, she likes to flirt with other planets a lot, even intergalactic ones. But if you ever need emotional support, she's there.

Thoughts on MC: Head over heels for them. Constantly flirting, and always trying to look her best in hopes they'll bat an eye for her. Will be a pick me sometimes because of them.

She doesn't agree with the whole civilization campaign that Earth and Mars have going on but prefers to avoid conflict. But also doesn't want to be targeted by humans...

Earth:

Kind of the cause of all problems for the solar system except maybe the Sun. They can be a narcissist at times but not as bad as the Sun. Earth is constantly sending out exploration journeys which the planets don't like.

Thoughts on MC: Thinks they're a fascinating planet that needs to be learned more about. They will constantly ask questions about MC, eating up any detail about their planet.

They've been conducting secret plans with Mars...

Mars:

Pretty smug and confident. Thinks he's the most attractive colour out of all the planets, but unlike Venus, doesn't flirt. Instead, he's more power-hungry. Which is why he's joined in Earth's campaign in hopes he can conquer Saturn especially.

Thoughts on MC: Although Saturn may be much bigger than him, Mars thinks they would be perfect partners. He may be small, but he can pick them up easily for sure. (Size isn't extremely important, but between the two groups there is a difference). Wouldn't you want a warmer planet snuggled into your side?

Althought genuinely thinks Earth as a friend, he hopes to leave them as soon as he gets to have Saturn by his side.

Jupiter:

BIG DADDY- /j

He's literally not that different in age from the other gaseous planets but puts himself in the role as the protector. He is the biggest one and is the most powerful of the planets other than maybe Earth's sneaky little humans.

Thoughts on MC: Finds himself liking the fact they're not that much smaller than him, but still finds them cute. If you thought he's all wholesome, you're wrong. He gets extremely possessive of them and will try to protect them from the rock planets.

Finds Neptune and Uranus annoying sometimes but kinda likes the weird family role they have built as gaseous planets.

Saturn (MC):

(Now I'm just putting this down so MC can have some defined traits. So sorry if this isn't how you act! [and to be fair, I don't act like this either]).

The mom/big sibling of the gaseous planets. They try to be positive for the other 3 considering the rivalry going on. But they don't agree with the campaign at all. They enjoy the peaceful environment they have.

Despite everybody loving their rings, can get a little self-conscious from how much they stand out.

Uranus:

Neptune's twin brother. Think of him as like an annoying middle schooler or that one cousin you absolutely want to murder. He loves annoying every planet, but especially Jupiter. Is self-conscious on his weirdness occasionally.

Thoughts on MC: Absolutely indulges in the fact MC is willing to dote on him. He will puposely mismanage his planet or get hurt in hopes they'll coddle him. Especially in front of his sister.

He works very hard trying to figure out Earth's and Mars' plans.

Neptune:

The calm one of the twins. She's quiet most of the time but will passionately throw up an argument if she thinks Earth is doing some shady shit. But mostly keeps her points to the gaseous planets. She loves talking to her fellow gaseous members.

Thoughts on MC: Thinks of them as a perfect rolemodel. She has rings too (all gaseous planets do) and wants them to be as prominent as Saturn's. She likes to talk about what they did that day or what they love to do.

Has a one-sided rivalry with Venus. Wants to become the most beautiful planet so that Saturn will see her as someone to look at.

Sun:

He is the irresponsible father who will go on vacations randomly. He will only talk with the planets if he has to prove he's better than them or wants to flirt with Saturn.

Thoughts on MC: Finds them small and cute. Thinks their rings match with his burning flames. Wishes they would stop being so fixiated on keeping peace though. What better peace is there than to chill with him?

Finds Earth to be the most annoying little brat and kind of wants to burn humanity alive.

I don't want to reveal any info of my thoughts on their yan personalities yet, but this is for some ideas on how their personalities are like.

Just so there's no confusion: MC is genderneutral for audience purposes, but Earth is in fact nonbinary. (I kind of thought that becuase they have humans living with them, they aren't contorted to one gender).

I haven't really figured out the lore yet for moons, but for now I'll say they're kind of the assistants of the planets.

If you have any thoughts or ideas, you can send way, but until then, I will keep planning my idea for yan planets. (I do gobble up ideas though I admit)

[bingsoo-jung]

Because I’m a science bitch with a degree in science bitch shit (it was math-physics), I’d like to just explain my issue with there being a perfect eclipse in all the Dragon Age: the Veilguard promo material. Which is that it doesn’t work.

Like an eclipse isn’t just a moon blocking out the sun, it’s a moon with the same relative size as a sun, perfectly aligning with the sun. Any old planet can have an eclipse, it’s very hard to have a perfect eclipse. Often times the moon and the sun do not have the time relative size, thus leading to them lining up, but it being a partial eclipse with what’s called an annulus or ‘ring of fire’. The eclipse we had back in April was a perfect eclipse, meaning that it did not have a ring of fire, and that you could look at it! Don’t look at a partial eclipse with an annulus, it may look like a total eclipse, but it’s not. You will get hurt.

Now the issue is that the Thedas moon can’t do that.

See these moons?

See this sun?

The moons shown are bigger, in fact far too big to do a total perfect eclipse. It would just be a total eclipse with the sun being blocked out. So, the Moon cannot be the solar eclipse moon. This is where the problems start.

So what about the second moon of Satina that’s never been depicted?

Well, first off, for the big moon to be that big, it must either be very very large, or very close (remember, relative size, large items look bigger, but so do close up items). Now if it’s a large moon, then Satina could be a moonmoon, it could be hiding, we could be looking at a binary moon system, or Satina and the Moon could be far apart not affect each other. In that final case though, it does mean you should have more eclipses, so I suspect it’s not that.

So that leaves us with the others. Now, in order:

I’m just guessing it’s not a moonmoon. I would love it to be a moonmoon. But I don’t think it is. Mostly because no one cares about moonmoons except me and other people who find the name hilarious. Also that would make Satina not a moon of Thedas, but a moon of the Moon.

The moon isn’t hiding. I love the idea of a hiding moon, but it means that thw two moons have to have the same orbital speed. Or, the mass/orbital radius (distance from planet to moon) ratio has to be the same for both. But that’s not possible. Let’s say the Moon mass is 1 and it’s radius is 1. Then the mass/radius ratio is 1. Okay, so we take the second moon and make it small, let’s say half the size of the Moon, then the radius has to be 0.5. And sight lines are more or less a linear relationship, so that would mean the relative size of both moons would be the same. Now while he’s, this could be the case, BioWare’s also made it clear Satina is the smaller moon. So this doesn’t work.

Binary moon system. Honestly this would be two giant moons orbiting each other and is just a large moonmoon then. No I will not be explaining the physics of this. But it’s functionally that small things don’t actually orbit large things, small and large things orbit around the center of mass of their system, which just so happens to generally be in the center of the larger object.

The final one honestly could work! Honestly this is the most probable. That the Moon is big and close, and that Satina is much further away. Now, there does become an issue of Satina needing to be fairly large to do that, and at that point Satina and the Moon would gravitationally affect each other. But there’s probably a gravitational sweet spot where that’s not the case. However I’m not doing the math.

So what if the moon is just super close? Well… it would still be pretty big actually. Considering it takes up so much of the sight line, even if it’s super close, that’s large as shit. Furthermore, it’s a sphere, and thus it must be Of A Certain Size. The smallest spherical object in our solar system is still ~400km in diameter. However most spherical moons do tend to be bigger than this. Our moon is around 3400km in diameter, though it is unusually large.

As a final note, I do suspect that it’s just the 4th one of these, combined with Satina having phases, as the Moon is always a full moon, yet art in Thedas depicts phases. Likely referencing Satina.

So, ultimately I’m still wondering why there is a perfect total eclipse in the trailer and art, why Thedas has and knows about these things. Also why the fuck doesn’t Thedas have more imperfect eclipses with their giant moon! That should be blocking out the sun semi regularly! It’s not even that hard! It’s giant, and earth has yearly eclipses, Thedas should be having so fucking many okay?

[downbadperture]

Hello my good sir, to whom which I have never interacted before in my entire life. I would simply like to request from your wares, perhaps some Space core X reader headcanons, specifically maybe either android or human design space core x reader headcanons. Perhaps even maybe some Corrupted core in general(Rick, Fact and Space) X reader hcs ...... If you choose to answer this ask I will be humbly grateful and possibly in your debt.

Hello good anon, and yes I will get to these! We need more people who have your fine tastes. Goodbye good shar- I mean everyday human with gills and sharp teeth. I'm making these guys androids cuz that's funner.

Android!Corrupted Cores x GN!Reader Headcanons!

Space Core!

~ No-one knows why you went for him.

~ Very physically affectionate! Like he'll ramble incomprehensibly for hours at a time about space while cuddled in your arms and laying his head on your shoulder. Not many people actually listen to him as much as you do, so he finds a lot of comfort in being around you.

~ This includes hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. Since he's made of metal it can sometimes be painful when he runs up and hugs you from behind while pressing his face up against your back. But you bare for his sake.

~ If you actually mention something about space, showing that you actually retained what he's said to you about the wonders of space, he'll actually start overheating and steam starts spewing out of him.

~ He constantly about talks about you two going to space together. He even drew you guys in a rocket ship in space on a whiteboard with sharpie once.

~ His petnames about you are space related, always, no exceptions. He even just straight up calls you Space sometimes despite that being his name as well, he just loves you so much that space feels like the only proper petname for you. Sometimes he'll just default to calling you sun because you're the center of his solar system.

~ He giggles hysterically whenever you kiss him

~ If you fall asleep on him, he'll just hum or talk to himself while holding you until you wake up.

~ Makes up space songs for you two to sing together, mostly preexisting love songs that he just parodies to be about space. You sing so loud that it echoes around the facility

~ You're the only one who really understands what he's trying to say all the time, sometimes acting as the translator for him when Space can't help but add space related words into a none-space conversation

Rick!

~ Constantly has an arm around you or is holding your hand

~ Flirts with you CONSTANTLY. Like he'll work a pick-up line or compliment into every damn conversation you have with this guy. As long as it gets some sort of reaction out of you, he'll keep doing it.

~ Though if you give him the same energy back, he'll try to brush it off like "I know that darlin, mighty sweet coming from you though," and hopes you don't notice the steam spewing out.

~ Constantly tells you stories from his 'adventures', while you just sit back and humor him for a bit. He genuinely thinks you believe the stories about him beating up 100 ninjas with nothing but his bare fists or when he tells you the story about how he single-handedly blew up Black Mesa.

~ Protects you from danger to try and impress you even if it's just a turret on the other side of the room and facing the opposite way.

~ Speaking of which, he is constantly trying to impress you. If not stories, it's him throwing himself into meaningless danger like a Turret shooting range and you being forced to repair him.

~ If he has a hat (and of course he does), he'll put his hat on your head and say "Well ain't that cute,".

~ The ultimate hype-man. He has actually does think very highly of you and respects you in his own way. So if you're doing something, especially if it revolves around fighting, he is CHEERING for you if he was forced on the sidelines. Constantly yelling to check for pressure points, to kick whatever's ass, trash talking the opponent, telling you to hit harder because he knows you can do it.

~ Though if it's something outside of fighting and action, something he doesn't really understand the appeal of, it'll sound like he's being passive aggressive at first but it's just because he doesn't really have a filter and does genuinely think you're good at whatever you do but doesn't know how to word it. But after some time passes, he'll just word the compliment like "You're kicking ass, sweetheart!" even if it's something super chill.

~ He picks you up bridal style and carries you whenever he can

~ He asks for kisses a lot too if he thinks he did something badass. Y'know that one meme where it's like "Has never kissed anyone before vs expecting tongue". His kisses are a combination of those two things because his only real references are from action movies.

Fact!

~ Unlike Space and Rick, he is not as physically affectionate. It would take him a while to actually initiate physical contact, which is probably like the most awkward hug in the world or him just pressing his mouth to your cheek. Not even kissing, just pressing his straight lips to your cheek and dryly going "mwah". He's trying is all I'm saying

~ But most often he just pats your shoulder or head, he makes sure to be careful since human skulls are allergic to metal.

~ His form of compliments would come in the form of facts. Like he would say your eye color means you would be inherently better then other people or that humans with your face are statistically more good looking then other humans.

~ When Fact says that "Fact: The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere" and you confirm it in some way, he just stays silent for second and process. Suddenly you start hearing fans.

~ Whenever he would go on his Fact rambles, no matter how correct or incorrect the information is, if you ask questions about it you might actually hear a hint of enthusiasm because you were actually listening to him.

~ He tries to memorize every single aspect and trait about you. To your favorite color, favorite food, your hobbies, your habits. But then the corruption kinda jumbles the information up a bit, and kinda gets those traits skewed. Like he'll give you something that he thinks is your favorite color, but in actuality it's the color that's opposite of your favorite color. But he is convinced that he's getting all the information right.

~ You're the only person who he'll ask questions for if he's interested in the topic you're talking about. He likes gathering information from you because he deems you a reliable source of information. Because outside of himself, you're the most intelligent being he knows.

~ Despite believing he is the sphere best suited to be a romantic partner, he reviews his data base every once in a while to see if he's "meeting quota to being a good partner"

~ He tries to give you petnames but there always kinda wonked up like instead of baby he called you "Infant", and instead of sweetheart he called you "Salty Esophagus".

[magicicephoenix]

hi for that dca ask game !! five questions for u to pick n choose from answering :3 u dont have to answer all of them if u dont want to but

dca who au specifically:

📝 - What do you find most challenging when creating this AU?

😊 -What do you find the most fun about creating it?

either dca who or no copypastas, whichever u want to answer for:

🌛-Do you prefer the DCA in your AU to be biblically accurate or blorbofied?

💕 - Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom?

✔️ - Tell us a random fact about any of the characters in your AU

ok bye bye. disappears into the void

😊 -What do you find the most fun about creating it? (DCA Who AU)

hmm. great question. how do i put this in words. i really like the feeling of taking two different concepts (dca and doctor who) and mashing them together to make something completely new. obvious, considering i'll already done this before (batim and doctor who lol). i like taking roles from the show and considering what character would fit best, and/or what changes would have to be made to them so that they fit that spot. like... the original reason i put Moon as the Doctor and Sun as the Master is because of their names. the sun is the center of the solar system. the moon revolves around the earth. and then as i considered all the lore of doctor who and poured it into those two molds, two completely new characters formed right before my eyes. what would have to happen for Sun to act like that? why does Moon do this? how do i make these characters something new by using inspiration from doctor who and still paying homage to them in fnaf sb? it's a magical feeling. i mean, i get that feeling anytime i make an au. making my own silly versions of the blorbos, y'know. but having an idea based on something that already exists means there's that much more for me to play with. i dunno if any of that made sense i just started rambling. i love my dca who au so much <3

🌛-Do you prefer the DCA in your AU to be biblically accurate or blorbofied?

i'm just gonna answer in general: blorbofied. mostly because i like drawing them that way, and since i have the power over their design in an au, you bet i'm making that faceplate move!! i still love biblically accurate dca but they're just too powerful for me. gotta blorbo-fy 'em

💕 - Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom?

points at you. @vypridae's Macabre Maltreatment AU. the boys originally being separate and then forced together is such tasty angst. i love it sm. and their designs!! so fun!

@cursio-neptune's Cooking with Sun AU!! i love all of the characters, their dynamics are so lovely and seeing it on my dash always brightens up my day <3

@crabsnpersimmons's Have You Eaten? AU and New Do Same You AU. i'm in love with hye!Sun i need to give him a hug immediately. and both aus have such fun designs and characterizations of the dca! plus crab's art and writing are gorgeous!!

✔️ - Tell us a random fact about any of the characters in your AU

DCA Who AU: Favorite colors! Moon's is light blue. Sun's is red. Bonnie's is dark blue. Freddy's is orange. Roxanne's is green. Chica's is pink. Monty doesn't care.

No Copypastas in the Daycare: Moon doesn't like glitter. it's messy and gets everywhere and is so very difficult to clean up. there's always at least one speck of it on them at any point no matter his efforts to the contrary. but he loves Sun more than he dislikes glitter, so in the end he supposes it doesn't matter all that much.

[peppymintdreams]

Sakuverse Daycare: Painting with the Stars and Shadows

The daycare was unusually quiet this morning, save for the soft scratch of brushes against paper and the occasional giggle from across the room. Today was Art Day, and the children were gathered around tiny tables, each lost in their own creative world.

The smell of paint filled the air—bright reds, sunny yellows, deep blues, and a smattering of glitter because Elias insisted that “space has to sparkle.”

At the far end of the table, Isaac sat with his brush poised delicately in his hand, dabbing soft strokes onto his paper. His painting was a carefully crafted image of a woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile—his mother.

Andrew, seated beside him, was intensely focused, recreating a famous art piece from memory. His canvas was a swirl of shapes and colors, an abstract interpretation of Vincent van Gogh's Starry Night.

“Andrew,” Isaac whispered, tilting his head, “is that a galaxy or… a really dizzy sky?”

Andrew smirked. “Both. Art is open to interpretation.”

Luca, sitting across from them, was hunched over his paper, tongue peeking out in concentration. He was painting Bunny—a masterpiece of soft browns, pink ears, and a big, lopsided smile.

“Almost done, Bunny,” Luca murmured to his stuffed friend, who sat propped up beside him, supervising the work.

Elias, however, was anything but quiet. He was all in—a blur of motion as he painted the solar system with bold strokes. His planets were vibrant and alive, each one swirling with glitter and neon colors.

“Look!” Elias declared, pointing to his paper. “The Sun! And here’s Saturn with all its rings! Oh, and this one—this one’s a comet! It’s flying across space!”

Luca peeked over. “Wow, Elias. Your space looks… sparkly.”

“Because space should be sparkly,” Elias grinned. “It’s a cosmic disco.”

Amid the chatter and laughter, Xanthus sat quietly at the edge of the table, painting with slow, deliberate strokes. His paper was different—dark, almost entirely black, with hints of deep purples and blues swirling in the background. At the center was a single figure, small and fragile, standing beneath a looming, shadowy sky.

The other kids paused, noticing the contrast.

Elias, always curious, leaned over. “Xanthus, what are you painting?”

Xanthus didn’t look up. “A place where the light doesn’t reach. A dark place where chaos emerge like the bodies of the Black Death, the blackened, necrotic buboes painful, swollen lymph nodes primarily in the groin, armpits, and neck, accompanied by purplish skin blotches from subdermal hemorrhaging, sunken eyes, and gaunt, fever-ravaged features.”

Elias blinked, his usual grin faltering. “Oh… that’s kinda… dark.”

The teacher, approached, her brow furrowing as she observed Xanthus’ work. “Xanthus, sweetie, that’s very… interesting. But maybe you could try painting something a little brighter? Something… nicer?”

Xanthus finally lifted his eyes, meeting hers with a calm, steady gaze. “But this is nice. It’s just… a different kind of nice.”

She hesitated, then smiled softly. “I suppose art can be many things. But if you ever want to try something happier, let me know, okay? Now I’m going to go back into my office and cry about my life choices”

Xanthus gave a small nod, returning to his painting.

Elias, still watching, felt a strange tug in his chest. He was used to seeing Xanthus quiet and observant, but this felt different—like Xanthus was painting something he couldn’t say out loud.

Elias dipped his brush into bright yellow paint and added a small, glowing star to the corner of Xanthus’ dark canvas.

“There,” Elias said, grinning. “Now your sky has a star. Even dark places need a little light.”

Xanthus stared at the star for a moment, his dark eyes thoughtful. Then, to Elias’ surprise, he dipped his brush into white paint and added a faint, soft glow around the star.

“It shines better now,” Xanthus murmured.

Elias beamed. “See? Teamwork. Even the cosmos can’t handle us.”

Isaac glanced up from his painting, amused. “Elias, you’re not supposed to invade other people’s art.”

“Hey,” Elias shot back, “I’m not invading. I’m collaborating.��

Andrew chuckled softly. “That’s one way to put it.”

Luca, watching quietly, added a tiny star to the corner of his Bunny painting, as if inspired by their conversation.

Miss Parker returned, noticing the subtle transformation of Xanthus’ painting. “Oh! I see you added a star, Xanthus. That’s lovely.”

Xanthus didn’t respond, but a small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Elias leaned in, whispering, “I knew you liked it.”

“I didn’t say that,” Xanthus replied softly.

“You didn’t have to.”

As the class continued painting, Elias and Xanthus worked in quiet harmony—light and shadow blending together on a single canvas. And in that moment, both of them realized something important: even in the darkest skies, a single star can make all the difference.

[echolepzy]

ding ding ding! correct on the guess- i enjoy being on anon but not giving a fuck about identifying myself later. it’s a simple pleasure in life and i enjoy being a troublesome little bastard.

yessss loop plushie! i will treasure them forever when they get here. maybe throw them at a wall sometimes. who knows? loop has the face of a little guy that needs to be eradicated. idk why. very very excited about the sticker too- idk where i’ll put it but it’ll be somewhere, maybe on my phone case or something

i don’t really look at wikis all that much so that’s new and exciting info! i just stole the country headcanons from fics i half remember reading. i also like the idea that mwudu has something going on with fire- maybe they have a volcano there or something. i mean there has to be a volcano SOMEWHERE probably. i also wonder if there’s like, more smaller countries or another few big ones somewhere. i think it would make sense for that to happen at least. maybe another few near ka bue since it’s on the other side of the world-

yeaaah i’ve seen a lot of people complain about not having or being able to find cosplay parts- i still haven’t cosplayed before so idk what it’s like but i am not excited to scour amazon for hours just to find a hat. however that will not stop me and i will do it eventually when i find the money and time- i hope they let you with a dagger tho, that really brings it all together. i might buy myself a real siffrin dagger one day along with the katana i still want to waste money on, so that’ll be fun lol.

Yaaaaay I’m glad I didn’t mistake you for someone else lmao

I wanna put the plushie on my ceiling fan. Just because. Put ‘em up there in the center, arrange some other plushies on the fan blades and turn the lights out. Bam! Solar system created and Loop gets to be the sun. Maybe if I tie ‘em all to it they can spin around and then uhh orbit (idk if I’m actually going to do this but I know for certain my brother and I are gonna bring this mentally ill star everywhere and probably watch anime with it)

There is indeed a wiki! Neat huh. We get info!! On the sillies and their world!! Also I might change my Mwudu inspiration headcanon… Hawaii actually sounds pretty fitting, although I imagine it to be less tropical but it could definitely work— And there are other countries too! Here’s a map I found-

[sentientsky]

you're in a car with a beautiful (not-) boy and you don't know how you've managed to stay intact this long, how you haven't fractured at the edges yet, lit up from the inside with all that aching, cataclysmic want you've fought so hard to keep quiet—to keep from thrashing in your chest like a sparrow against glass.

you're in a car with a beautiful not-boy, and you're not human but if you were, you're certain this longing would have killed you by now, would have left you in the cool green earth—rotted you down to the quick—a thousand times over (and if that didn't kill you, then the look in his eyes now certainly would). and you don't, can't, won't believe in god because how could She create such a being and then not let you press your palms to the side of his face, not let you hold him, not let you open your mouth like a confession box and tell him, there is a bird inside my chest and you are the center of every solar system and i'm willing to play the part of icarus if only you'd let me. and you don't/can't/won't believe in god, but his eyes open and its like the sun in a three-piece beige suit and you're pretty sure you stopped breathing the moment he got in the car (hell, you haven't tasted oxygen since the moment he stood on the cliffside, hands all empty of swords and fire).

you're in a car with a beautiful not-boy, and you're all spitfire and grief and six thousand years of whispered half-syllables into the dark of a lonely night, of savouring the way his name burns your tongue like sacrament (holy, holy, holy).

and he's handing you a thermos now, and his hand brushes yours and it's been nearly thirty years, and still you'd let him turn you to salt if it meant he might touch you again.

... but you go too fast for him. you always go too fast, with all your ugly, hollow-boned want and your burning yellow eyes and your hands, sullied with the weight of sin; fingertips that look more like claws than anything you'd ever want to touch with any scrap of volition.

and you're in your car with this beautiful boy who is not a boy and you're burning up, plummeting like a waxen-winged thing. and he's looking at you and you're falling, and the world is twisting around the edges, and he's stepping out of the car and your ribcage is becoming a slaughterhouse—an abattoir with all its knives turned up towards the sky. and then you're in a car, and you’re alone. and that is all.

[madamlaydebug]

You have a Light body. The consciousness of Light informs everything about your life. The Sun is our life source and we would long exist without it. Our plant kingdom is a miraculous living system that is designed to enhance our emotional, spiritual, physical and mental bodies. Food is medicine and once fully understood and integrated can literally transform all four mentioned life systems. Diet is a very personal choice and I am not advocating any particular dietary choices here other than offering my own awareness of how self care choices have been observed in my life. Be well. Nourish yourself within and without. 💛🌼🌻#nourish

The tenth center, represented by the sunflower, is known as your solar chakra. It connects and extends your consciousness anywhere in your solar system, from the sun to beyond the planet Pluto. The sun is considered the governor ruler of your system because it sustains and fuels life by providing the necessary light frequencies, along which life-giving energy and information is transmitted. The sunflower center is also very mobile, and utilizing the sun as the focal point, it recognizes cosmic information as a source of your evolving knowledge. Throughout time people have aligned their consciousness with the sun to receive inspiration for new ideas and to access information. Sometimes they would even hide from the sun because they felt that the sun's rays could read their minds; and if they sought to keep secrets and have no one know what they were doing, they chose to operate in the dark, as it were. #oracleofyoursoul #sunflower #chakras #energyhealing #alignment #energy #healing #vibration #connection #spirit #light #lightbody #transformationcoach #alchemy

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, exploring and part of Tali’s loyalty mission:

Phi Clio

-Cyllene – There’s an archaic helium-3 refueling station. This implies someone found the system by FTL, rather than the mass relay.

-Parnassus – It has geothermal and solar power station. There’s no history of the planet or its government in Citadel Council records. Since Cyllene is on record, it must have been deleted.

-So what the hell is the deal with this system?

My take away is that once the mass relay was discovered, the Parnassus population bailed because now it was too close to main traffic routes.

I am very curious. I suspect it was used by the Council for purposes they did not want officially known. The Citadel Archives probably has a history for it.

Enoch

-Laban – There are bunkers from an ancient race that were blown apart by a dreadnought class weapon.

-Mizraim – There’s debris orbiting the planet indicating that artificial satellites were destroyed

-Joab – Thousands of years ago a primate like spacefaring species were destroyed by massive orbital bombardment to their population centers. They’re only known because of time capsules buried outside of population centers.

-The buried time capsules implies the species knew death was coming and took some measure, however small, to ensure they would be remembered. Pretty tragic.

-Is this where Liara got the idea to leave behind time capsules in ME3, just in case her cycle also lost the fight against the reapers?

-The most likely culprit are Reapers.

This comes back to what level of civilization Reapers destroy. Was this race just barely spacefaring? This is the only planet I’m aware of where they’re remains exist.

If so, it comes back to my hypothesis that the Reapers are very thorough when exterminating civilizations to prolong the next harvest. They destroy races well before they develop mass effect technology.

-N7: Archaeological Dig Site – To the shock of no one, the planet is Earth like. At least the haze is an interesting twist.

-According to one of the terminals, Exo-Geni contacted “co-executive” Commander Vido Santiago of the Blue Suns for transport.

Nice call back to Zaeed’s loyalty mission.

-And the Prothean pyramid returns! With a side of the prothean vision Shepard received in ME1.

For such a short mission they crammed a lot of references into it.

-Who did Shepard give the Prothean pyramid to? I hope not Cerberus, but it’s not specified.

Normandy

-The email from Leslie, one of the woman on Aeia, has more reflection and emotion about Ronald than anything Jacob has expressed.

It’s frustrating. Bioware clearly can use the mission to generate turmoil, but they refuse to let Jacob experience it.

-Speaking of Jacob, he has more to say this time.

-If you go renegade (by asking how he’s handling the revelations about his father!), he actually calls out your attempt to talk him through any trauma he has. He points out you don’t have the qualifications to do so.

-If you go neutral or paragon, it’s all about the mission.

It’s interesting – he refuses to dwell on personal issues, doesn’t want to hear that everyone will die, but also rejects the false optimism that everything will be okay.

It’s over all a very grounded approach, but shows how Jacob is less malleable than some other characters. He has hard boundaries with Shepard and won’t let Shepard overstep them, even to reassure him.

Since one of Jacob’s boundaries is Nothing Personal Ever, it results in a character that feels more distant than the other squad mates. It’s not rejection of Shepard, exactly, so much as Jacob’s coping mechanism is to work and never do internal reflection.

So the issue Jacob is in most dire need of help with is the one he refuses to let Shepard assist on.

-Mordin has more post loyalty dialogues than any other crew member. Most only have their initial post dialogue loyalty and than one more conversation. I think this is Mordin’s third such conversation.

-Why did salarians develop unconscious social cues to discourage others from prying into secrets? What the hell kind of evolutionary tract results in that?

-Mordin presumably does not have any children of his own, since he’s using his favorite nephew to personalize the conflict.

Given Mordin’s prestige, that must be by choice. I’m sure he’d have no trouble obtaining a breeding contract.

-He’s very happy to be participating in an effort that involves no ethical conflicts. This is something he can be unambiguously proud of.

-Zaeed says he can’t blame Jacob’s father. You do what you need to do to survive.

I say Zaeed deserves a punch to the face. At no point was it necessary for Ronald’s survival to rape his crew.

Raheel-Leyya

-Migrant Fleet – The amount of care Tali’s mission has compared to Jacob’s is stark.

There is so much world building and complexity in just the first part of Tali’s mission alone.

By comparison, Jacob’s mission was barebones and straight forward. There was no world building and never any ambiguity about Ronald’s actions. The only question was how he would be treated.

-Tali specifying the Normandy is not clean is a nice touch. Of course that would be a standard question to ask all docking ships.

-The importance Quarians place on captains is also logical. Quarians live their entire lives in ships; it’s natural for captains to receive tremendous respect.

-Shepard, if they clarify they’re only a commander not a captain: Technically, I’m no longer in the Alliance military at all.

I suppose this is because Shepard was dead and not because they were/are a spectre?

It would have been nice if ME1 had ever explained Shepard’s status once they were made a spectre. See, it only takes one line!

-Miranda’s breather cannot possibly be acceptable for the quarians. Get the woman a helmet.

Actually, given the quarians’ history with Cerberus bringing her along probably isn’t much better than bringing Legion. The only saving grace is that the quarians might not know she’s officially with Cerberus.

-There are two layers to stripping Tali of her ship name.

First, it makes her look worse to the audience.

Second, it screws over her defense. Since Tali didn’t know she’d been stripped of her name, Shepard had no time to prepare a defense for her. Moreover, since Shepard is not familiar with quarian law or custom, it puts Tali at a huge disadvantage. They’re improvising on pure instinct what will work.

-If Shepard goes renegade when told they’re defending Tali, she says: They’re trying to turn the crowd against me.

Nice hint most players never see that choosing the option “Rally the crowd” later on can win Tali the trial.

-The trial comes across like a blatant attempt to get Shepard to reclaim the Alarei.

Every time I play it, I always think they could have saved a lot of trouble by shooting Shepard an email asking for help. No need for the farce that plays out.

-Why haven’t the geth fixed the Alarei yet? It should be well within their abilities.

-Once again, will Veetor ever complete his pilgrimage?

I doubt he’ll ever be in condition to do so. Quarians must have exceptions for those that cannot go on one.

-The dialogue with Kal’Rheegar discusses dark energy at length. The build up to it as a plot point in ME3 is incredibly obvious.

The fact it was dropped entirely in ME3 is a sign of Bioware’s decline in writing. You cannot have a concept built up that extensively and than do nothing with it without the end product feeling disjointed. They should have at least worked it into a side plot.

-Kal’Reegar on the effects of dark energy: Some days I think flying around in the fleet without a planet of our own is the right idea.

Like the Reapers?

This line is such obvious foreshadowing.

-Kal’Reegar straight up explains that the plan is for Tali to kill geth to build up audience support and find evidence to clear her name in the meantime.

I suppose Bioware felt the need to spell it out for anyone in the audience that missed it.

-Admiral Xen is awful, but I like her as a character. She’s quite pragmatic.

If Rael experimented on live geth, he was an idiot and no trial is necessary. If he did not, then this was a tragic accident and no trial is necessary.

-Her end goal is to regain control of the geth.

It’d be interesting to get her and TIM on the same call. I’m sure she’d be fascinated by Project Overlord.

And consider it appropriate that nearly everyone got killed by geth, because only idiots experiment on live geth. She would have done a much better job with a ship of crashed geth. Send it to her!

-Shal’Raan set up the trial carefully to best help Tali, even if it hurt Tali in the process. Not informing Tali of her father’s fate until mid trial was a necessary evil.

On a similar note, later on you can clear Tali’s name by handing over the evidence of her innocence. This helps Tali by preventing her from being exiled, but loses her loyalty since it tarnishes her father’s name.

Tali wants to be respected as much as cared for. Trampling over her desires to do what you consider best for her does not make her happy.

Does it remind her too much of her father, perhaps? He was so focused on providing for Tali that he never took the time to be with her.

-The “bubble” (environmental unit) quarian children are placed in from birth is so damn tragic. Logical and fantastic world building, but so incredibly sad.

Children need stimuli. They need physical contact with other people. But this must be limited for quarian children so they can survive.

Their parents need to work. How much time do quarian children spend away from their parents out of necessity? How small are their worlds for their own safety?

Receiving their first environmental suit must be a tremendous increase in freedom for them.

Ironic, as the rest of the galaxy considers their suits their prisons.

-The real purpose of the trial is whether the quarians will start colonization efforts or go to war to reclaim the homeworld.

Tali is just collateral damage in that debate. Is the risk in fighting the geth worth the possible reward?

-Koris guesses correctly that Rael experimented on live geth. His mistake is assuming that Tali was also aware of that.

-He also calls correctly that going to war could end with the fleet dying over the homeworld.

-Koris is extremely sympathetic to the geth. That he was made an admiral shows that a much more significant portion of the quarians must be sympathetic to them than we see.

[allastoredeer]

I don't think the Circles thing is as complicated as you're making it? While the whole "Nine Circles" thing is a Dante's Inferno reference, I don't think the Circles in the Pride Ring are organized the same way. The way I imagined it is that each Circle is located in the Pride Ring and the pentagram-shaped one we see in Hazbin is JUST Pentagram City. From there, we have two options. Either Pentagram City is located IN the first Circle, or the entirety of Pentagram City IS the first Circle.

In THAT case, the word "Circle" could just be another word for "city" in the Pride Ring. The Pride Ring could just be made up of nine different cities. Or, if not cities, then just nine different areas inhabited by Sinners and/or Hellborn. Pentagram City could be considered the first one because it's the one directly under the pentagram in the sky?

Meanwhile, Imp City is considered the Second Circle because it's the second closest city to the sky pentagram, but not directly beneath it like Pentagram City is.

Therefore, each Circle/city is considered the third, forth, fifth, etc, depending on how close they are to the sky pentagram. Just a group of cities/areas clustered fairly close together but still far enough away from each other to be considered their own separate spaces. Think of it like the planets in our solar system, minus all space and the rotation and whatnot. The sky pentagram is the sun, Pentagram City is Mercury, Imp City is Venus, so on and so forth. Each Circle located in the Pride Ring farther and farther away from the sky pentagram but still surrounded/encircling it? That's how I pictured it at least.

You'd probably just be able to drive to each Circle, no fancy means of transportation necessary. I mean, Striker was able to ride his horse out of Imp City (I think it was Imp City) to that abandoned mine that had that bootleg Hellevator to Wrath. If there are/were mines outside of (maybe) Imp City, then surely there's other places too.

I know it may just be a reference, a little tip of the hat to Dante's Inferno, and I very well may just be overthinking it, but I still can't help but give it significance as part of the Hellaverse lore.

I don't know if its just me and my funky lil brain, but I still can't wrap my head around it. I just can't see how they fit in T.T

For clarification, the sky pentagram you're talking about, is it this one:

Or this one?

I assume it's the little planet-type thing, because you're using a solar system as an example. The fact that there's two sky-pentagrams was throwing me off for a second, as I originally assumed you meant the second XD which didn't make sense.

I can see each of the Circles being it's own little city, it's just the fact that we haven't really seen any other Circles/cities other than Imp City (to my knowledge) that ruins it for me.

I tried to work the Circles into Pentagram City in the form of the districts at first:

I can see there being 9 little cities spread around, but I can't imagine more than 1 being in each section. IDK there's just something in the fact that Pentagram City is already divided up so neatly, it gives me the vibes that while its a crazy, violent, and haphazard place, there's still some semblance of order to it.

Even the Rings are divided neatly amongst each other, with each them being stacked, one on top of the other. If the Circles are in Pentagram City, and they themselves are small cities, the way I see it fitting in is there being a Circle/city for each district.

What loses me is that there are only 9 Circles and 11 Districts in total. 10 districts if you exclude the City Center, where the Heaven Embassy is. That leaves two districts without one of the circles and I can't help but think about how it effects the rest of the districts. Even if they're just cities, the fact that there is one in each district besides two, just...it doesn't make sense to me considering how neatly split up and even the rest of the city is.

Look, it could just be the imbalance that's throwing me off. It's very much a me thing, with my brain not liking the uneven-ness. I probably am overthinking it. But the way I've been world-building for Pentagram City is that each section has its place, each district is split for a reason, and each part of Pentagram City has to be "even" or a "neutral" zone as part of the power-exchange between the Overlords - if one Overlord has more than the others, it can cause a strain. Which is why they keep to their own territories, and why each of their territories reflects them so much (like the Vee's area, at the far left of the Pentagram. Technology is everywhere in the city, and yet that one specific area is the only place that is on theme with the Vee's. They haven't spread outside of that district even a little, and the reason I think that is, is because if they started expanding their influence beyond the borders of their territory, it creates tension with the other Overlords, as it's see seen as them trying to gain more power - which is a threat to the rest of them.

Bringing this back around, if there's a specified city in each ring except two, I feel like that shifts the balance of the city as a whole and would likely cause a strain.

I also did go back and watch the Stryker episode you were talking about (I never connected that his little mining shaft was a secret short-cut to Wrath! And it actually works SO MUCH with other a few other world-building concepts I've been developing! Thanks for that!), and I don't think Stolas was in Imp City when he was kidnapped.

He was definitely in the Pride Ring, according to the red sky

But look how clean the streets are. There are no cracks in the sidewalk, broken windows, or trash on the street.

Whereas in Imp City, specifically where I.M.P is located

It's a lot messier. There are cracks in the sidewalk, stains in the road and asphalt, the wire fence on the right is busted, but you can't see it in this frame. It looks run down dirtier and that makes sense. Even if this a city is just for Imps, they're still part of the lower-class. They still live in poverty.

I can't see the high and mighty (and very rich) Goetia going to Imp City, or establishing any businesses there, because it's full of Imps. They look down on them. They see them as inferior, as we've seen from many, many of the Goetia. Most of the Imps we see interacting with the Goetia are service workers or servants. I wouldn't be surprised if the Goetia barely interact with them at all, and even consider doing so as "beneath them."

I can see them looking down on Imp City just as much as they would the Imps themselves. I'd wager that most of them have never even stepped foot inside it.

I think the "Richest Cup Diner" (where the poor pour for you - i fucking can't with that name, I am grimly amused. God, the Goetia are actually kind of awful, huh?) - anyway, I think the diner is located in one of the outer Districts of the city, which are closest to the mountains that Stryker rode off to.

I...don't remember how this connects to the 9 Circles, I was following a train of thought and ended up here.

ANYWAY, the uneven spread of the 9 Circles just doesn't match with how I see/have been developing Pentagram City. Everything is too neatly separated and evenly spread, and the imbalance of Circles to Districts throws that off, which throws off the fragile shared power among the Overlords, which throws off the cities entire structure - specifically with how I, personally, have been developing it.

If there were 10 Circles, or even 11 Circles, I'd have one for each section of the pentagram, but without it, I just...I can't make it make sense. So, I scrapped the Circles.

But maybe I'll give it its own reference. Like "The 9 Circles Diner." Or "The 9 Circles Theater."