#Are either bigots like this or people that also make it their personality to hate a bunch of freelancers
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Reblogging only to add that - yes, ALL THE YES to giving voice to marginalized people in times that they were silenced or just not recorded.
But I think it's also important that either white guilt or people cynically trying to "cater to the woke" don't erase the fact that white/male/cis/straight people weren't just bigoted villains or silent bystanders troughout all History. Allyship, however imperfect, always existed, and without it, things would have been even harder and more unfair to most causes.
The fact that Engels' burgeoise riches paid for Marx's books isn't a "gotcha" moment against communism, for instance, just a reminder that you CAN use the tools that your privilege gives you to work against that privilege. You can use your platform to raise someone else even higher.
Narcisistic and/or sociopathic people might not fathom why you would use your influence to tell people to be less influenced by you, but remember that the more heads were involved in a decision, the more hands you will have to fix things when they go sideways (and they WILL). The charismatic leader now is always the perfect scapegoat later.
You don't have to be a genius ahead of your time to notice this and have a "wait, who elected me as the babysitter 'guardian' of a woman's honour and best interests? I can barely make such decisions for myself!" moment. Or a "why SHOULD I care about how people present at or what they do in bed again??" moment. Or a "that person is basically me with a different skin/accent, why are we fighting/enslaving them like it's nothing??" moment. And suddenly, a can of worms is open and the worms will never fit in again.
(DISCLAIMER: I will say that again just in case, discussing allyship and bringing out historical allies' lives and feats into spotlight ISN'T the same as giving voice to the marginalized groups, it definitely DOESN'T count as representation.
I just feel that people should learn with their ancestors that recognizing you have a privilege doesn't mean you have to defend it at all costs or live in constant fear that you will be just as hated as people create and mantain this unfair state of things. You can use it to help making things right. And it might mean that your effort won't be recognized in life, since most of the marginalized people will understandably be wary of you and the privileged people will consider you a taitor. But you will be making a difference, you will be inspiring the change you desire and you will be making meaningful connections to the people you are helpig, if only locally and secretly.
And that certainty is enough of a reward. No one should do what is right expecting adulation of the masses.)
Genuinely 90% of historical fiction would be so much better if more writers could get more comfortable with the fact that to create a good story set in a different time period you do actually have to give the characters beliefs & values which reflect that time period
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Saw a YT vid with the title, "Fandom Can't Handle Asexuality"
You're right, they can't... Because it doesn't fucking exist to them.
#aroace#asexual#enby people arent real either#we're told to stop using neopronouns and to stop being aroace bc 'nobody will take LGBT seriously'#keep being exclusionary#i dont want to be your friend if you're gonna act like that#I'm a genderqueer aroace person who's pronouns are it/its and you're gonna fucking respect that or be called a bigot#this shit has got to stop#also... because it matters#dont be ableist#ever. just dont#one of the main reasons i hate Alastor so much... is the fandom's treatment of him as a character#most of them completely erase his sexuality in favor of shitty crack ships.#I think a QPR with Lucifer or Rosie is a cute idea! but that's it#keep Vox pining for Alastor... that's great too#its like when I tried to erase Porter Gage's Bisexuality.... It was wrong and I've changed (Fallout 4's romanceable companions are cannonic#cannonically bisexual... I don't make the rules) I was just mad because someone had MY BLORBO in a disgusting ship and I got sick of seeing#it... And THEN I learned how to block tags!!!#idk where this is going#i'm just upset that aros and aces and enbys are erased#maybe it's a confirmation bias and i've just spent too long doing demographic research#i HATE demographic research#it takes me to disgusting places#i need to find my sewing patterns so I can refocus my energy into something good
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You know I have come to the realization that this is a thing on which I would like to be clear, as a reasonably prolific writer of fanfic with a range of readers who all have very different levels of familiarity with the various canons I have dabbled in: I love a lot of things about [ insert canon here ] and I definitely DO have certain personal pet peeves in regards to "yeah this person definitely didn't read/watch/even-briefly-skim anything outside of fandom" interpretations that I find particularly slanderous or are just Not My Vibe or things like that which I personally just can't get into or enjoy. Like, things that are just not to my taste, you know?
But also, fuck it, canon is a suggestion and fandom's only actual "rules" are "try not to be an entitled prick or actively hateful", as far as I'm concerned. No, no one has to do the homework just to write/draw/meta/post about something they're getting something out of. I personally am too dang old to do any more of the homework than I want to and I am sure as heck not gonna hold anyone else to that standard either.
Imo there is just no reason whatsoever to ever be upset about MORE people getting involved in the fun thing and enjoying themselves with it, especially when we can all zero-effort back-button out of anything we don’t like. I don't care if they're wrong about [ insert character here ]!! I mean, I do, I very much do, it makes my 'tisms personally insane, but unless someone's wrong in like a hateful/sexist/racist/bigoted way, that's their business, not anybody else's! Let 'em cook, people! We don't get better content in our fandoms by getting publicly judgy about and way too publicly INVESTED in how other people in it have fun. Actually, all we get that way is LESS content. Like so, so much less.
Look, it's a process, I'm personally still working on it myself. There's def stuff that bothers or pet-peeves me, and stuff I just gotta skate past without engaging. I just think keeping a little more perspective helps, in these situations.
Also, not telling people things like "hey if you don't read literal DECADES' worth of MULTIPLE monthly-release comics and all the relevant crossovers and events/watch every single episode and movie released since the seventies/listen to all the bonus episodes of this already-over-one-hundred-hours podcast, you don't belong here" helps. Also that. Definitely that.
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I'm losing my fucking mind at this fandom constantly trying to minimize aaron's complexity and woobify him
I can't stand anyone who looks at a chapter of aaron getting to confront andrew's hypocrisy but also getting confronted with his own shitty behavior and the main thing u take away is "omg he said he doesnt hate gay people anymore! Confirmation he's not homophobic!" or "andrew is a horrible person and aaron has done nothing wrong (or the reverse)"
Aaron is literally doing a "i'm not transphobic, i only misgender those trans people who are bad people" but about nicky's sexuality. Him justifying them with nicky's own shitty behavior does not make the remarks he's made any less homophobic. The entire chapter, the way bee questions him and the way he realizes he actually has to explain to andrew that he doesn't have a problem with him being gay shows how much these remarks have not existed in a vacuum, have never only affected nicky, have always, in effect, been homophobic.
This is not me wanting aaron to be homophobic, this is me being pissed about people wanting to rob aaron & his relationships to his family of layers of complexity. About people trying to make a person unlearning bigotry he's aware of and has admitted to into something simple and easy and quick. About people viewing bigoted actions and remarks as only defined by their intentions and not their effect.
Aaron is a damn complex character. He was raised with shitty worldviews and shitty behavior. He literally did used to hate and be disgusted by nicky for being gay. He's unlearning that shit. He's still grossed out by nicky for being a creep. And now he's confronted by the fact that his history of actual bigotry and his displays of disgust at nicky's remarks about others simply do not exist separately from eachother and that that has affected his relationship with andrew. And he gets to sit there and has to actually convince his brother that he doesn't hate him for being gay. Stop trying to minimize the importance aaron's past homophobia and homophobic remarks play in the twinyard's relationship.
Also i'm pissed off how little people are talking about aaron finally FINALLY getting a dig in at andrew's hypocrisy. About how andrew's actions also aren't only defined by his intent to protect but have cause a lot of hurt. About how unfair he's been to others, to katelyn, because he himself hasn't even tried to reflect on his own presumptions and prejudice against the people aaron wants in his life and how they might be wrong.
This bonus chapter is so important to me because it's practically everything i've always imagined their shared therapy sessions would be like. And because andrew getting pushback and aaron getting a chance to voice his stance and perspective and andrew actually having to listen is so important to me. Most of the canon material is so dominated by perspectives sympathetic to and/or protective of andrew and it's so good to get a chapter that isnt that. And obv Aaron's perspective isnt unbiased either, but it balances out somewhat against neil's perspective dominating the narrative. And while bee ofc isnt a perfectly impartial party, therapy with her is the perfect setting to provide this perspective.
I love the TKM bonus chapter and i hate how a lot of people are choosing to talk about it
#aaron minyard#andrew minyard#twinyards#i care about the twinyards so much#and i'm so tired of seeing people trying to simplify their relationship#trying to make excuses for one or the other's bad actions#they love eachother so much but they've hurt eachother so much and that part is IMPORTANT#aftg#all for the game#aftg spoilers#all for the game spoilers#tkm#the kings men#aftg bonus chapters#aftg bonus chapters spoiler#tkm bonus chapter#tkm bonus chapter spoilers
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While I know the angry-aro blogs are from a troll (just blog them, really. They're an incredibly annoying individual who has just made a new blog to block-evade...), I do want to emphasize that my notes are not a safe place for ace-phobia.
While I did make a pose critisizing sex-negative and anti-AlloAro sentiments I've noticed in aspec-spaced, that does not mean I hate aces or would in any world agree that aces somehow oppress aros.
Yes, there are quite a few asexual people who do not question their own internalized anti-AlloAro rhetoric, and some (not a lot, but we won't get anywhere if we act like they don't exist) who openly agree with this sentiment and are extremely sex-negative and aromisic, the number of aces who try their best to listen, understand and include alloaros in aspec spaces is much greater. A lot of the people who reblogged and agreed with the post I mentioned above were asexual!
We won't get anywhere by acting like everyone will always be the worst possible. Assuming all aces hate AlloAros won't make the community any better, and aces assuming all AlloAros hate them won't either. Because none of that is true.
We also won't get anywhere by ignoring anti-AlloAro rhetoric in ace-spaces, or anti-ace rhetoric in AlloAro spaces (and also not by assuming anything AlloAros say about themselves without mentioning aces is somehow ace-misic...)
The reason I criticize aces for AlloAro-misia is not because I believe all aces are somehow more arophobic than any other given person, but because I try to make the aspec community a safer place for everyone, and AlloAros are part of that community, and a part that has been very often excluded from aro communities in the past. (One example I can think of being the aromantic subreddit implementing a rule that forced aroallos to tag even just mentioning sexual attraction without ever going into detail as "NSFW" and when they tried to fight back, because simply saying they're allosexual is not NSFW, being told to go to the AroAllo subreddit instead because they made the AroAces uncomfortable (there were also a bunch of AroAces speaking out against that, though. A few of them being assholes doesn't mean all of them are, even if the assholes happen to be the ones in charge in this case.) The rule is gone, afaik, but I'm not on reddit anymore so no clue what's going on now.)
Some aces being bigoted assholes does not give you the right to attack all of them nor to be bigoted back at them.
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I appreciate The Dragon Prince because it gave me tragic antagonists or villains that I love (Claudia), villains that while I don't really like them I understand how they came to be and can feel a bit of sympathy for (Aaravos or Viren), villains I straight up fucking hate (Sol Regem) and villains that I don't really hate because when they appear on-screen I just sigh wondering how they can be so fucking stupid (Karim). They really give you everything.
No but for real, Karim's entire character arc consists of 'The risk I took was calculated but I am bad at math' because. He's so dumb. He keeps saying he wants to restore the Sunfire Empire to its former glory, but like-- how? What plans do you have for the future? Are you going to try to retake Lux Aurea? Because you can't. Oh, you want humans out? Okay-- how would that help to restore the former glory, though? You're just being a bigot?
The thing is that all Karim ever did was talk about his birthright —that's not even his birthright, actually, because he's the youngest sibling— and keep babbling about history demanding blah blah blah of people and how his sister wasn't a competent queen when actually it is the opposite. Janai proves, by allowing the architect to live while still giving her an according punishment, that she is a fair queen who chooses mercy and allows people to grow while still choosing justice; also, that she's more practical, because what good is a talented architect dead —who did something awful but still was sorta right about fire being dangerous around the camp— when you can just make her build a shrine so this kind of incident never happens again. Janai also had the Sunseed and plans to nurture it and help it grow, help her own people grow. She actually had plans for the future, and she had the patience necessary. She understands that you must learn from history but that it also doesn't define you, that you must not let it define you.
Karim doesn't get that. He was obsessed with history and the old ways. He didn't have any patience. And he didn't have any long term plans. Or even backup plans for when his plans inevitably failed, either! He was so convinced Janai would refuse his duel he was shocked when she actually fought him, and resorted to fighting-- with fire magic-- against someone who's fireproof-- again, no actual plan. He tried using an assassin to kill his sister, the actual person the assassin had a life debt to. He wants to steal the Sunseed, actively fucking over his people. When Ezran tells him to take his followers and start somewhere else, Karim refuses because he says he doesn't want crumbs off his sister's plate, but at the same time it's like-- that's exactly what you were gonna get, buddy. You wanna use Sol Regem to torch your sister's army. The only thing you're gonna rule over is the followers you have now plus what remains of Janai's, if they even accept you. So, yeah. Literally crumbs.
Also, again, he's so fucking entitled. 'What's rightfully mine' he's the youngest sibling, nothing is rightfully his, he's an usurper. Part of his demands being that humans leave and go back to 'their side of the border, where they belong', buddy, you'd be the king of the Sunfire Elves, not the King of all of Xadia. As king you could make humans leave your territory, but not Xadia. If a bunch of humans, hypothetically, befriended Moonshadow or Skywing elves and lived at the Silvergrove, or wherever the Skywing elves live, with them-- what, now you're gonna try to wage war against the the other elves, too, because they're not following your ways? You can threaten them with Sol Regem, sure, but also consider, because you didn't even consider it when you went to him-- he's an Archdragon, yeah, but the weakest of the Archdragons right now. Let's say Ezran and Janai follow through and give up and leave. They could go with Zym and head straight up to the Mushroom Mage and come back with Zubeia, the current Queen of the Dragons, right after she's done with her treatment. They arrive. Who's gonna win? A healthy Archdragon on her prime or an old, blind Archdragon that hasn't flown or fought in centuries? Also, once you give him the Sunseed he actually has no reason to be on your side, he already got what he wanted. Even if the Katolis thing didn't happen, he could've turned against you very easily. He likely would've done so.
He's an awful leader who doesn't actually care about his people. He disrespects other world leaders like Ezran immediately. He's an entitled, bigoted idiot who doesn't actually think things through and that actually makes him both incredibly annoying and very realistic, which actually makes me like him as an antagonist but still makes me let out a exasperated sigh every time he talks. Best part of him is that he's obsessed with going down in history as someone great when, with his actions, he's only going to pass down as the prince who tried to usurp his sister three times and failed the three times, each failure worse than the previous one. Lmao.
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stop simping over women and pay attention to your husband. You clearly made your choice to be with a man and have his child rather than choose a woman. You bisexual women don’t get to exist in lesbian spaces when you lean towards men. Unless your husband lets to you step out on your marriage or lets you have delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man. You bisexual women who lean more towards men or are with men have no right to be in sapphic or lesbian spaces. And lady d is a lesbian so as if she would be with someone who let a man touch them let alone knock them up.
Oh, I'm sorry, did my husband tell you that I'm not giving him enough attention? Didn't think so.
Yes, I made a choice to be with him, because I fell in love with him. Because he's my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything I do (yes, he even supports my writing and fics and he tells me often how proud he is of me). I did not chose him because he's a man. Truthfully, his gender had absolutely nothing to do with why I married him. I just happened to fall in love with and marry a man, but that does NOT make me any less of a bisexual woman.
"You bisexual women..." and people question whether or not bi-erasure is a thing, meanwhile, this entire ask is such a great example of just that😒
"delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man." is truly offensive to not only every bi woman who has been with a man, but any woman who has. What about the lesbians that got pregnant by men?? Because this may come as a shock to you, but it does happen. It may not happen a lot or often, but it does. Does that mean that those women are "tainted" or "ruined" also??? No it fucking doesn't, you idiot.
It really makes me laugh when people try and use a fictional character to make a real life argument. You want to know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL!!! So honestly, you have absolutely no idea if that's true or not because she's a fake fucking character from a video game. Are you also this upset at the fic writers who make her trans??? Or what about fic writers that make Alcina's partner trans??? Or are you just that much of biphobic person and this is the hill you're choosing to die on?? Either way, you're an actual bigot.
This post just SCREAMS biphobia and bi-erasure and it's fucking gross. You are so very obviously projecting your own issues and insecurities in this and honestly I would be embarrassed if I were you. Because not a single thing you said is true AT ALL or holds any merit.
Bisexual women who lean towards men or who are with men ABSOLUTELY do belong in those spaces. Just because a bisexual woman is married/with a man or leans towards men does not discredit or change their sexuality. No bi person automatically becomes straight if they date/marry the opposite gender or become gay/lesbian if they date/marry the same gender. It's called BIsexual. More than one gender. You do not get to invalidate every bi person with this shitty (and inherently wrong) opinion.
I know you wrote this trying to get a rise out of me, and congratulations because you succeeded. But I also know that people like you leave messages like this because they feel so broken and hurt and shitty that they want others to feel like that too. Unfortunately for you, I grew up in the era that birthed anonymous hate messages so you'll have to try harder next time. Not only that, but I am proud and confident in who I am and no pathetic anonymous (especially anonymous, you pussy) message is going to shake me.
I am a proud bisexual woman. I am proud to be married to my husband. I am proud that I will soon be the mother of a little boy who I will raise to be a much better person than you'll ever be. I am proud of what I've written and no, I will not stop.
#willalove75#lady dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu#bi erasure is real#tw#biphobia#bi erasure#fuck outta here with these shitty and wrong opinions#you picked the wrong bitch my guy
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Dear teenagers on tumblr, and a whole bunch of adults, too:
You can be any identity under the sun, and that does not stop you from being bigoted or hateful towards other people of that identity or any other.
Being gay doesn't magically mean you can't be homomisic or anything else.
Being aspec does not mean you can't be amisic or anything else.
Being trans doesn't mean you can't be transmisic or anything else.
Your identity does not determine how harmful or hateful your actions and words are. There is no identity in the world that gives you a free pass from biotry and cancels out all the harm you do.
"But I can't be an exclusionist, I'm literally aspec!" is a completely meaningless statement. I know not everyone remembers, or was even online during the aspec harassment campaign, but a ton of alloaces and alloaros were onboard with the whole thing and throwing the "non-Queer aces and aros who make us look bad" under the bus.
Their asexuality or aromanticism did not magically make their actions not violently and horrifically amisic.
Being part of an oppressed minority does not make all of your actions harmless and innocent, and it does not mean that anyone who criticizes you for bigotry against other people from that minority group is just "stupid" and needs to "touch grass".
You being [insert identity] does not mean that it's impossible for you to hurt, or be hateful towards other people of that identity.
If someone tells you that something you are saying is harmful and bigoted, and that there are better ways to phrase what you're actually trying to say, you cannot respond with "I'm literally X identity you stupid idiot, do you think I hate myself??" or pretend that the people telling you it's harmful are just "making up problems to get mad about" and "need to touch grass" and "looking for things to be offended by"
You cannot repeat the exact same words any random conservative would be saying and call yourself progressive and say you're acting in good faith and have good intentions.
If you actually want you make yourself and your blog a supportive place for your community, then you need to learn that it is not okay to respond to people telling you something is hurtful by just repeatedly insulting them and saying they're just looking for problems to cause and you've done nothing wrong because "I'm literally X identity I can't spread hate about my own identity".
Because yes you can. And you are.
If multiple people are telling you you're acting like an exclusionist, that is your cue to stop, take time to calm down your immediate negative reaction, and listen properly.
Do not just immediately leap to repeating exact conservative talking points by accusing people of "looking for things to get offended by".
Do not immediately leap to insulting people's intelligence and other ableist things.
If you are actually acting in good faith, and you are actually trying to be a supportive member of your community, then you have a personal responsability to listen to other people in your community when you are told that something you've done or said is hurtful and is perpetuating harmful, exclusionary beliefs.
You are not immune to being a bigot just because you're also a minority.
You have a personal responsibility to listen to people when they tell you you are doing something harmful.
You have a personal responsibility to unlearn bigoted thought patterns and behaviors like immediately dismissing any criticism as "special snowflakes getting offended by everything".
You have a personal responsibility not to harm your own community.
Everyone needs to learn this lesson at some point. You will either learn it now, when you're young, or you'll learn it when you're older and you've already driven people away from you.
Either way, you gotta learn it.
You cannot repeat conservative bigoted talking points and keep insisting your intentions are good.
If you actually want to be a good person who supports other minorities, you have to learn to act like it. You have to learn to listen when people tell you you've done something harmful. You have to learn to listen when it is explained that you are repeating exclusionary talking points that harm the community.
[ID: A screenshot of a post by dulce de calabaza / zapatistarising, that reads, "There's actually no political label or identity that absolves you of doing harm". End ID.]
I suggest you try learning it now while you're still young, before you've driven your community away from you with your hateful behavior. No one likes a bigot.
And no one wants to hang out with someone who immediately starts insulting people and all but calling them special snowflakes when they're told they've said something bigoted.
#Queer#LGBT#MOGAI#ILGBT#ILGBTQA+#Gay#lesbian#trans#transgender#nonbinary#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aspec#arospec#acespec#bi#pan#mspec#poly#omni#achillean#sapphic#allyship#solidarity
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ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.
That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽♀️
you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.
I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.
I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.
Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.
I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.
I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.
For example:
Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.
Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.
Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.
Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.
Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.
People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.
A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.
I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.
You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?
They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.
People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.
#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#fandom#proship#reality#proshipping#discourse#that one safe space post#world issues#social issues#society#ustice#moral issues#profic#profiction#fiction
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PSA to The Maruaders fandom
Not liking a headcanon, popular or not, does not make a person a bigot. Surprising, I know! But it really doesn't.
There's been TONS of discourse lately over transfem sirius and I would like to give my opinion on it. If you like the headcanon, that's fine, good for you!! If you do not like the headcanon, that is also fine. Not liking the headcanon does NOT make someone transphobic and if you think it does you need to rethink your views on life because what the actual fuck. Apparently people also claim that not liking transfem sirius is misogynistic and if you genuinely think that BOY do you need a wake up call. If one person can genuinely argue how either of those points makes even vague sense, I will consider changing my mind, however, as I actually have a fucking clue of what bigotry really is, I dont see that happening in the near future.
In the same way, this applies to almost every headcanon, including not hc james as queer or even as desi (no, that does not make you racist, please fucking get over yourselves) or hc-ing remus as disabled.
I would like to point out, however, that if you do enjoy any of these headcanons, its absolutely fine!! I even enjoy quite a few of them myself including pan, desi james and genderfluid sirius!! You should also post about them on your own platforms as much as you like and engage in media with the same headcanons!! You should NOT, however, argue and hate on people who post about not liking them, because just as it is your prerogative to like something, its their prerogative to like something else and neither of those times is it hurting anyone. It is also your prerogative to post about stuff you don't like!! Just do it on your OWN platform and not one someone elses.
At the end of the day, they're all fictional, let's have a little decorum, okay?
#i know this is a little passive aggressive but im pissed off#I actually have some issues with transfem sirius#but im saving that for if people actually attack me for this post lmao#harry potter#hp#gryffindor#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#hogwarts#moony#padfoot#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#prongs#sirius black headcanon#transfem sirius black#marauders#the marauders map#the marauders era#james potter#jegulus#marauders twitter#peter pettigrew#unpopular opinion#remus x sirius#desi james potter
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This fandom though smh all the people wanting to stick up and support Ryan while being an anti Eddie this or a pro Eddie that, but hate getting called out for being a hypocrite... I'm tired of seeing them "separate the actor from the character," when they're more than willing to bash every other transphobic, racist, sexist, homophobic, ageist, misogynistic, ableist, fascist, anti vax, etc, remark or topic, but still have positive post about Ryan Guzman. They aren't "protecting their peace." That's not how it works. They're choosing to ignore what he's doing because it'll disrupt their fantasy of the show. Seriously, why are they posting about current anti transphobic topics and then the next post it's "Ryan's dumb mustache 😍🥵🫠" as if he didn't just get exposed AGAIN for having transphobic ties this past week????
They don't want to hear that Ryan is the problem. Everybody, fan or anti, still calls out Lou, and everytime they admit and drill that he is at fault, but Ryan ALWAYS gets a pass, and we should move on because he gave a disingenuous apology all the non bpocs accepted on our behave or it was "so long ago???" Make that make sense... Also, no one wants to bring up anything else he's done either! But even so they're not advocating for anything in the fandom with only "Lou is racist," when they won't even accept that what Ryan did wasn't just as bad, it was worse than what Lou did, they both were wrong but let's be real Ryan has more to make up for than Lou but yet Lou isn't unforgivable???
How can people still say, "It's his upbringing, and he was taught that way" only for Ryan? They really want to compare Ryan and Lou's family situations? Seriously? Which one of them is estranged from their abusive bigot father, and which one is still surrounded by his ignorant friends/family who he proudly stuck up and admitted were all racist like him? (Also, which one of them did people have to fake and edit hate material because there wasn't anything new? 👀)
And they need to stop saying everyone who calls out Ryan is racist. I'm very familiar with all the excuses he made, and just as I've said to my White/Latinx family and friends, all of what was said IS absolutely racist. He doesn't get a pass because of where he lived, and everyone around him said it, and the more they deny it, the worse it is. Everyone who accepted his apology should understand he was willingly stating his ignorance.
These stans though... They're just as phony wanting to play both sides and have no consequences. They can't stand by what they're voicing. Saying "anti *** BUT I don't tolerate any hate towards (actor)" when that actor is still problematic as of today...
Nearly everyone has said/done something awful in the past, but there's only a few that still are choosing to continue that behavior. Many of the 9-1-1/LS cast/crew/company "should've been canceled" for things they've done. Most acknowledged their wrongs, sincerely apologized, stopped and grew up and changed their views and redeemed themselves. That's the difference. Ryan is still the same Ryan. Fans forgave after one forced apology, and now they ignore that he's still actively messed up because what he's attractive or he's a part of their favorite ship or his hate doesn't personally affect them???
*But yes, let's only call out Lou's issues and keep posting about how wonderful Ryan is and talk about wanting to bring back Ronda, Cocoa, Edy, Rockmond, etc. back because they were also soooo unproblematic* 🙃
Yes, call it as we see it, Lou did some messed up shit. But for them to say Lou is worse for 10+ year old post, but stay quite when Ryan continuously talks/posts/likes disgusting views to this very day 😒 That's the thing, Lou's past caught up with him, his PAST. Ryan gets exposed every week because he's still updating his accounts with that stuff.
(and you don't have to post/reply to this if it might get backlash but 👏🏾 big sigh)
me being a white person I don't get to say if I expect Ryan's "apology " or not. Some other white people in the fandom on Twitter really had the audacity to say why people still hating on Ryan and he apparently has changed?!! It's not our place to say !!
And saying he has changed after what he is sharing on Instagram is honestly really laughable.
And they also say Oliver would hate Lou for things he was posting a decade ago this is why he doesn't want to work with him. So they basically saying that he is totally fine working with Ryan ???
When a ship is more important than having morals.
They always protect Oliver and Ryan and don't call them out.
It just makes me so mad seeing Ryan posting all that shit. And people posting him all over Instagram even the cast is hanging out with him.
People are so comfortable being openly transphobic and homophobic, racists these days without any consequences.
They said when the actress who plays Marisol was posting that transphobic shit, why would they want a cast member in a show with LGBTQIA+ storylines. These same people are really quiet right now about Ryan.
So they totally fine with what he shares on Instagram? ???
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I made a post on Reddit titled "Hot take but I feel like many if not most Stolitz antis are either homophobic or just hypocrites" and I even had to clarify at the end that not all Stolitz antis are like that. Cue the replies harassing me, taking it as a personal attack on them and making baseless accusations about me. One of them even sarcastically said "Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and bigoted" as a way to make fun of me. I never said anything remotely similar to that. I don't think they bothered to actually read past the title where I explained that Stolas and Blitzø meeting as children is compared to a bad fanfic when that never gets said about straight couples in media who met as children and that people who hate Stolitz for what it is now only tolerated it when it was just a running gag, as if they can't stand it when gay relationships are being taken seriously. I also mentioned that even non-homophobic Stolitz antis complain about how toxic it is and then turn around to ship Blitzker. (Blitzø x Striker)
I had a similar experience. It's so stupid because like, some of them aren't even subtle about it. Same for chaggie antis. I remember seeing a post talking about how much Charlie doesn't get enough dick, so she's unsatisfied and needs Alastor. Like... I'm sorry, what?
A lot of the arguments stolitz antis are literally inherently bigoted. Like how they want Stolas to be paired with Stella instead even though he's gay. And STILL hating him for "cheating" after The Circus even though he's a gay man being forced to marry an abusive woman? Idk, that's... a red flag 💀 The same people saying stolitz is one sided were the same ones saying that Stolas and Stella were in love not to long ago... sounds like heteronormativity...
And a lot of them are Stella defenders? Sorry that I came to the conclusion that the people doing mental gymnastics defending the cishet abuser calling the gay male abuse victim the abuser may be homophobic 😭
Like, it's not that different from female characters who get hate while the same people shitting on her praise fictional men who are worse or do the same shit. There are clear double standards here. These people turn around and praise cishet media with very similar writing, characters and tropes as Helluva Boss. And not only that, but it's not even just about their relationship specifically. Like, I have a theory that the whole controversy about Stolas being an "abusive" father is because of the stereotype that queer people can't be good parents. And the whole "child and parent have conflict but make up in the end" trope happens in fiction all time (example: Danny Tanner, Jeff Morales, Doofenshmirtz, ect.) Weird how it only became abuse and neglect with Stolas and Via.
Some people are blantly saying they wanted stolitz to "stay a joke", and it feels obvious to me that a lot of them just like queer characters who are queer in a goofy "dark humor" way and not an actual character with queer struggles and/or queer relationships.
People who say "but I disagree and I'm not homophobic!" Be expecting you to give them a pat on the back or something, I swear 💀 Like... good for you? Thanks for not being a bigot? Do you want a reward?
What I don't think people understand is that if they're not homophobic, then the post isn't about them. The fact that they're getting so defensive about posts directed at no one in particular is just weird because it looks worse than it would be if they just kept scrolling. Now it just kind of seems like Freudian Slip.
No one was looking at you until you said something
Of course they're not all the same, but I've seen people straight up call them the f slur
Sorry that happened to you. Just remember that Reddit is INFAMOUS for being toxic, so don't take what people on that app have to say to heart. Like, it's up there with Twitter and Tumblr...
And wouldn't you know it? Those are the 3 sites I see the most Stolas and Blitz hate.
Interesting
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I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.
He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).
He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.
(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).
He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.
Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).
So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.
Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.
Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.
There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).
There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.
There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.
The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.
When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.
Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."
Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
#house md#rec#media analysis#writing#english#me#i hv more to say abt this show like him making the mistake of not amputating his leg bc of his bias against (particularly visible)disabilit#even tho cuddy and his other past ortho surgeons suggest against keeping the leg because the clot is really bad and unsalvagable#years later even while having his leg it's now useless because all it gives him is pain and anger issue with a dash of opioid addiction#so when he sees patient being stupid or refusing a certain test/treatment he KNOWS in the bottom of his heart to be right#he just won't take it lying down & he will drag his patients kicking & screaming bc ''trust me i was an idiot too don't repeat my mistake''#but that's an essay for another day#whump#whump meta#disability
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can you please stop? screenshotting someone else’s post is extremely rude and only makes the fandom a worse place. talk about a bad take you saw, describe how it’s harmful, and vague all you want, but don’t screenshot. i agree that most of these takes are awful but that’s no excuse to do this to people. either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post. stop screenshotting, please.
Either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post.
The assumption that I didn’t try that is where you went wrong. I (mod X) started this blog only after I tried many, many times to confront people about their offensive takes directly and it didn’t work. I was subjected to appalling harassment and even bigotry. That’s what happens when you try to engage with someone who’s being offensive.
I had been throwing the idea around for weeks and what finally decided me on starting it was that I found out that I wasn't alone. That the anti-Autistic bias and the ableism and the transphobia and the victim-blaming and the misogyny (and on and on and on) that we kept seeing and being subjected to was ruining our enjoyment of this show. This was bigger than just me.
FTR, most of the takes that are submitted to us (note that I'll be switching between "I" and "we" in this reply depending on the context) don’t have a handle attached to them, but of the few that do include a handle, 99% of the time I have recognized it as someone who I have seen being so bigoted that there was no possible way I could engage with them. We don't confront people directly partly because we don't want to direct people who disagree back to the OP's blog, and partly to keep the mods safe.
You say “do this to people” like this blog is committing some kind of outrage, which is absurd. We are, at worst, being slightly rude (which I think is justified considering sarcasm and humor are one of the only weapons we have to fight back against hate), whereas most of the posts we comment on are outright hateful. They’re the ones “doing this to people”.
We are being far more considerate of the writers’ feelings and their dignity than they ever were of other people’s in the fandom. The takes are not just ‘awful’ (although, that too haha); they are actively harming vulnerable members of the fandom, and, more concerningly, are spreading messages that will poison our views on how we should treat Autistic people, ab*se survivors, and the like in broader society. Quite frankly, the people who are spouting the kind of anti-Autistic/ableist/victim-blaming/otherwise bigoted crap that forms the bulk of the content we feature here deserve to have their posts screenshotted. People who say things like that do not deserve to be handled with kid gloves in response.
(Also I don’t have time to re-type and slightly paraphrase every bad take I see. And if I did, people would throw out “no one is really saying this”. And even if it weren’t for that, I don’t think it’s reasonable or appropriate to expect me to use my time that way.)
Incidentally, nothing is stopping people from messaging/asking us or commenting if they recognize a post as their own, but only one person has ever done that, asking if a post was theirs. I replied that it was, leaving the ball in their court. So far we haven’t heard back from them about the matter, which is fine. But I digress.
As for this blog making the fandom a worse place - even though it’s only a few weeks old, I’ve had an average of two new people a day, every day, tell me how grateful they are I created it and how it makes them feel safe and how it’s the only reason they haven’t left the fandom. I’ve even had multiple people say “I was going to leave the fandom because of that specific post and then your blog called it out and I felt like I wasn’t alone”. So yeah, I'd say screenshotting is important here.
There is a subset of the fandom - many of us Autistic, Disabled, ab*se survivors, GNC, trans, and/or otherwise oppressed - who have been made to feel EXTRAORDINARILY unsafe by the Aziraphale hate (which far, far too often is thinly-veiled hate for some of the aforementioned groups of people) and the truly scary way people double down when we push back against it. So I don’t care if people are annoyed by my sharing a screenshot of their post. Not when this blog has become a safe space for so many people who otherwise would have had Good Omens ruined for them by the bigotry and general hatefulness we keep seeing.
LSS I will not stop building this tiny lil corner of the internet that is the only part of the fandom where many of us feel safe.
I actually made a post addressing almost this exact thing a couple weeks ago; if I can find it, I’ll add it here in a rb.
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thank you for carrying the torch of hemoanarchists with the posts that detailed how shitty/racist hussie was. feels like people nowadays enjoy flattening their personality into either "theyre a saint <3" or "theyre the worst person ever to live" when like. theyre not perfect. they were just somebody
Thank you, and I’m glad you like my posts, but I will put it on record now that I’m not really carrying the torch of any specific blogger. I’m speaking up on behalf of all of the Homestucks of Color that the fandom has brutally harassed out of the community for the crime of saying the truth. I loathe the fandom’s blindness to racism, especially racism in their own corner, and their black and white mentality with regards to the notion of Bad People.
Hussie was indisputably racist during the time of writing Homestuck. That much is fact, denying so is abject stupidity and spitting in the eyes of reason. I don’t care what your minority status is, I don’t care who or what you are, if you say Hussie wasn’t antiblack during Homestuck’s serialization, you are an idiot. Demonstrably so. White people do not not casually throw the N-Word around as a joke for non-racist reasons. White people do not draw and write racial caricatures as a joke for non-racist reasons. Bigoted jokes made at the expense of a minority are still bigoted.
Hussie was not a saint. This is true. Again, the racism. But they aren’t the devil, either - some of the things people accuse Hussie of… They’re just not true. Even I’ve fallen victim to that mentality before. Years upon years of getting told, starting at about age 13, that Hussie’s Avatar is indicative of Hussie, and therefore Hussie was actually sexually attracted to Vriska… Will get that ingrained in your head, even if it’s not true. Years upon years of discourse saying Hussie is superhuman levels of terrible with nobody contesting it will get you thinking Hussie is completely terrible, and that every little accusation made at their expense is true. After all, when you start accepting one bad thing about someone being true, it’s easy to start accepting all those other things, too.
Hussie is not a saint. Never was. Hussie has flaws, some of which were… Very appropriate for the era, and the demographic she belonged to. Again. The racism. But, sincerely, a lot of the Hussie Hate is majorly overblown and founded on nothing in particular. A lot of it is commonly believed just because it’s never really been challenged before. Just because a guy was racist in the 2000s does not mean they were also a pedophile. What the fuck?
Hussie was just some guy. A flawed guy, yeah. Racist guy. But genuinely just some guy. Not a child predator, not a superbigot, absolutely not comparable to fucking J.K. Rowling, Jesus Christ. Some guy. Regular dude on the internet. Did some bad things. So did you. Forgive them or don’t. But maybe get a source for all those claims you make.
#also yes ive been wrong before. VERY wrong. theres posts of mine out there i really REALLY do not agree with these days#i am not infallible#godbless#ive been through a lot the past couple years this blog has been alive#ive done a lot of growing and experienced a lot of changing#homestuck#homestuck fandom#andrew hussie#cw racism#nekro.sms
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sometimes i feel like, in certain cases, "detrans woman" and "nonbinary woman" ain't too different. and could even be used simultaneously by the same person without much issue. after all, isn't processing internalized misogyny and escaping the gender roles box for womanhood also a way someone can at the same time not feel like a binary man, not feel like a binary woman, but not feel like a not-woman either? after unlearning all the bullshit male society taught us, it can be destabilizing and create distance between us and other women. we might no longer feel like a normie woman. we've been awakened. we're no longer a gender roled woman, rolled up in everything she was taught she needed to be or she would fail at womanhood. we're an unfailible woman, we can't get a bad grade in womanhood bc we don't care about gender grades. we know it's all bullshit. we took back the power patriarchal society had over us. in that sense, we're not willingly binary anymore. and i think, over time, it's only going to get harder and harder to find women who are happily into the gender roles, the gender box assigned to them.
people fucking hate that, ofc. especially male people, and doubly so cis/bio men. they hate that we're awakened women. they hate that we found feminism and sisterhood and go detrans or use nonbinary in addition to woman, bc we reconnect with our body type and our upbringing. and by they, i mean both sides btw. the patriarchy hates that we found our power, of course. non-feminists scoff at us.
and... mainstream trans activists hate that our journey got us here, and hate how we make dysphoria seem curable in unmedical ways and transness more complex than they like to think. we complicate things. they hate that they found power in changing themselves (whatever makes them feel at peace ofc), while we tried to as well, but in the process we found our power was within us all along. we found that just being neutrally sexed animals, just female humans, female animals, girls the way that one calls a cat a sweet girl, cat first girl second, human first girl second... our bodies, our gender category, don't define us. anymore, anyways. anyone who defines us by our womanhood is a bigot, and we scrubbed our brains free of all the shit patriarchal brainwashing left in us. and for us, personally, it was enough to free us. that's not the case for anymore. some folks need more than that. some folks need to modify themselves beyond recognition to feel at peace with themselves. but i do hope they know that deep down, they were always good beings all along. i hope they know that gender is bullshit and sex says nothing about anyone's worth, personality, goals, interests, etc. it says fuckall about any of that. i don't care if i get a male or female rabbit. a rabbit is a rabbit. if i feel affection for a new pet, our connection is what matters [*]. i would never assign someone gender roles based on their sex. but it's sadly done way too often by parents and male society. if you're trans, temporarily or forever, you gotta clean up all your internalized misogyny and sexism/gncphobia. find kinship with other female people, or male gnc people if you're male. just check off some boxes. clean everything up. deep-clean your mind and your heart first.
[*] insert tras here being like, "why can't you be like that about dating? you dirty close-minded terfy homo dyke? why can't you love beyond genitals? beyond just bodies?" and these days i laugh and laugh and laugh at that shit because wow they have zero clue!! they don't know the sense of peace at having my female/afab body against another female/afab body, at knowing we were born the same, at knowing we went thru the same growing up, at knowing we understand eachother so, so deeply without saying a word bc she is what i am, she is where i have been, and i have suffered as she has suffered, and we are a love born of the connection all female beings share, the connection of bio dick havers treating us as prey. not knowing we're more powerful than they could ever dream of. do bodies like ours not hold the godly powers of creation itself? are we not gods in the literal sense, born creators, who get to choose if a new life should be made? do we not hold the future in the palm of our hand? to the dismay of penised beings? and do me and my beloved not love eachother only the way two gods could love one another, knowing the struggle, knowing the power? is the patriarchy not fighting tooth and nail to control us, wrestle us into submission before their phallic altar? do they not know it's impossible, for everything in us would dry up at the sight? do they not know that we can rely on sisterhood to get us through fucking anything? do they not know we masculinized ourselves and found ourselves happily female anyway? do they not know that i'd love her with a beard and five eyes, but if she was reborn male we would not be the same people to begin with (tho ofc i like to think the bodyswapped versions of us would have a love story too, we would not be us anymore, not this timeline's love story, she would be a different version of her and i would miss our og love)? because what is anyone without memories, and aren't childhood memories, puberty memories, some of the experiences most affected by one's body type (under the patriarchy), some of the most developmentally significant memories of all? is female just genitalia and estrogen puberty to tras, to "hearts not parts" type folks?
is female just a meat suit and not also the life experiences linked to it, our upbringing, a rich female culture one is born into? trans women might be immigrants into this female culture if they pass post-transition, they might get the exact body, but they just don't know the culture the way born into it do. any transfem will admit being transfem is hard, it's hard to merge into female culture when they self-admittedly don't know much about it. anyone not having been born into this culture, not being fluent the way only a native resident of femaleness can be, will show signs of it even if it's been 50+ years. you can't just wipe someone's upbringing clean, your past always leaves traces, and a transfem wouldn't be able to bond with other female4female lesbians on basic female upbringing things... when those are the things that make being into other female ppl so attractive for many of us! we just get eachother. we understand without even saying anything. we understand female body issues. there's a warm sense of peace emanating from that knowledge in my heart, knowing me and my girlfriend were born the same. we went through so many of the same things, all the good and the bad sides of growing up female. and i find that attractive as hell, and it brings me immense joy in life. there's so many inside jokes a transfem just wouldn't get the way my gf can. and i unfortunately need to add, since people get defensive, that this isn't shaming the transfem for not having those experiences. i hope the transfem will come to terms with not being female too. she can be a woman in society, but she's not born this way, she's an immigrant into womanhood, and that's okay. she still needs to let lesbians who are only into people raised female enjoy our unique sexuality that she just can't understand. i can't understand the transfem4transfem experience either. so what? isn't lgbt or 2slgbtqia+ or whatever culture all about inclusion and diversity in sexuality and gender expression? what about those who are girls the way animals are girls? we hate gender roles but we're personally definining cis womanhood as being female animals, female humans? what's so twisted about that? what about female4female lesbians? transmasc4transmasc can exist, why not us? why make everything so stupidly complicated for no reason? why shame us for how we were born, for being into others like ourselves?
i pity them, honestly. watch them bring girldick and male upbringing experiences to female4female lesbians, watch as we'll all dry up like the dying succulents on our windowsills and sip drinks laughing at the naked male bodies before us because they're so unsexual to us homodykes. watch as we raise eyebrows at the male's lack of misogyny in her upbringing, her lack of expertise on female culture, and just... everything that's so fundamentally unappealing to us. we can be friends. we can be allies. thankfully though, sex and marriage isn't activism. you can't play woke in the sheets. if you do, that's honestly sad. love isn't political. heteros made it political, but love is just love. and the love between two female people is normal. boring at times, even. we're normies. and if mainstream tras can't see that, well, maybe they have issues to work through in therapy. idk.
if two dysphoric ppl working through really hard shit end up feeling at peace with being female animals, female humans, and loving one another, if that's threatening, if that's bigoted, if that's twisted, well...
we detrans chicks and homodykes will find our own place to hangout. and we'll be nice to your faces, of course, but behind doors we're having a blast with others like ourselves. people like us have done this for as long as humanity has been alive, anyways. we always go underground and make it work anyhow. radblr is proof of that. idc if i have to go door to door checking if any homodyke is there, or if i have to comb thru tra spaces to find cool detrans folks, i will find others like me. that's what the marginalized have always done.
we're like lizards. we'll just find a cooler rock to party under🦎✌️
#lay text#to edit#ponderings#radblr#tirf#to edit/chop up into smaller posts#big lengthy ramblings whoops lol
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