#Applied Behavior Analysis Center

[autismcenterofexcellence]

The Magic of ABA Therapy in Autism Management - Autism Center of Excellence

Let's discuss The Magic of ABA Therapy in Autism Management and learn how ABA Therapy can help children thrive.

[goldenstarsaba]

ABA means applied behavior analysis | Find autism center near me

Get applied behavior analysis service and autism center near me to get the benefits by improve social and professional skills for children.

Golden Stars ABA providing different types of therapy like, Parent Therapy and Children Therapy with location based inluded as In-home therapy, Center therapy, School Therapy and after school therapy also.

Services -

ABA Therapy

Parents ABA Therapy

Child ABA Therapy

For more Information visit website https://goldenstarsaba.com/

[youcanautism]

Empowering Lives at You Can Autism: Comprehensive Care for Every Child

At “You Can Autism,” we are dedicated to being the best ABA clinic in Tamilnadu and a leading autism clinic in Tamilnadu. Our center, located in Coimbatore, offers a range of specialized services designed to support children with autism, ensuring they receive the best possible care. Our mission is to provide holistic autism treatment in Coimbatore by using a combination of therapies tailored to each child’s unique needs.

Recognized as the best ABA clinic in Coimbatore, we utilize Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, a proven approach to help children improve social, communication, and learning skills through positive reinforcement. Our clinic is also known as a trusted ABA clinic in Coimbatore, where dedicated professionals implement personalized ABA programs to achieve measurable progress. As an applied behavior analysis center in Coimbatore, we aim to provide structured interventions that focus on behavior modification and skill development.

Our team includes some of the best speech therapists in Coimbatore, providing top-notch speech therapy in Coimbatore. Our speech therapists focus on enhancing communication abilities, making us one of the best speech therapy centres in Coimbatore. We offer specialized speech therapy for autism in Coimbatore, helping children express themselves more effectively. Additionally, our center excels in speech and communication therapy for autism in Coimbatore, combining various therapeutic approaches to improve both verbal and non-verbal communication skills.

At “You Can Autism,” we are committed to being a premier autism center in Coimbatore and a comprehensive autism clinic center in Coimbatore. Our services include a wide range of communication therapy for autism in Coimbatore to support children’s growth and development. As one of the leading autism centers in Coimbatore, we provide a nurturing environment where every child receives individualized care and attention.

If you’re looking for an ABA clinic in Tamilnadu that truly understands and supports your child’s needs, “You Can Autism” is here to help. Visit our website to learn more about how we can assist your child’s development journey.

[k12academics]

When Jean Van Sinderen donated her 110-acre Washington estate to the Devereux Foundation in 1965, it set in motion the creation of The Glenholme School, one of the most respected special needs programs in the nation.

The Van Sinderen family were already well known in town. They were instrumental in the construction of the elegant Mayflower Inn, the former site of the private Ridge School. By the 1920s Jean’s husband, Adrian, had built an elegant country mansion, raising show horses on his “gentleman’s farm.”

And when an enraged Shepaug River wiped out Washington Depot’s downtown business district in 1955, it was Harry Van Sinderen, Adrian’s brother, who helped to spearhead the reconstruction of that devastated area.

Eight years later, the family donated 727 acres of undeveloped land to the Steep Rock Preserve. Today the property is known as Hidden Valley Preserve off Route 47.

Despite these milestones it can be argued that the family’s greatest legacy lies with Jean in 1965. Through her daughter’s urging, Jean met Helena Devereux, an educator and a pioneer in the field of special education. Traveling from Pennsylvania to the Van Sinderen’s country estate, Helena explained that she had always wanted to start a school in New England. Ms. Devereux had led the charge to help children with behavioral health needs, starting her first school in 1918 and expanding on that in other parts of the country.

Jean did not need much convincing since she was personally well aware of families who needed therapeutic help for their children. Jean also felt that the estate had also become too much to manage, especially with the recent death of her husband. Three years after that meeting took place inside the stone mansion off Sabbaday Lane, the Glenholme School opened its doors in 1968 to a handful of students on the autism spectrum.

Since that time, the year-round school has grown to approximately 80 students in grades 5-12. Each receives the individualized support needed to succeed academically, emotionally and socially. Many of these high functioning students had previously not been able to fit in at private and public schools due to their difficulties associated with diagnoses such as autism, anxiety, depression, and ADHD.

Even the Glenholme property exudes a therapeutic affect with its expansive manicured lawns and gardens. Here, students have a multitude of after school activities to choose from, whether it be performing arts, music, dance or robotics. The grounds include basketball courts, stables, a fitness center, soccer and softball fields and a nine-hole Frisbee golf course. A track for go-carts is also used for fitness activities such as biking, running and walking.

Today, students throughout the world come to Glenholme, graduate and go on to college or a preferred profession, opportunities that seemed impossible to families when their child first arrived. And Glenholme has expanded over time, offering a transition program for high school graduates needing a year or two to strengthen independent living skills.

All of this was made possible by a little-known meeting between two women who met one day 55 years ago in the small town of Washington.

[devinsturk]

A Manifesto for the Liberated Autistic

(written by one Autistic person!)

Communication is a human right!  We demand access to whatever form of communication we choose, including unconditional access to Augmented and Alternative Communication technologies.

We demand autonomy over our own bodies and rightful decision-making powers over our own lives as we see fit.

We demand freedom from police brutality and all forms of abuse, including seclusion and physical and chemical restraint in schools and hospitals, and we demand freedom from all forms of violence, including filicide.

We demand that the shameful Judge Rotenberg Center in Canton, Massachusetts—and all other institutions like it—be shut down.  #StopTheShock

ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is conversion therapy for autistics.  We demand freedom from all oppressive “interventions” or “treatments” and quack “cures” for Autism which seek to rob us of what—and who—we are.

We demand unsegregated access to an education alongside our peers.

We demand access to our own communities and our own cultures, and we demand access to knowledge of our people’s history!

We demand meaningful employment and an end to sub-minimum wage for all disabled people.

The way we move is political, and we demand freedom from all pressures to “behave” in accordance with neurotypical standards.  Embrace the stim!  

We must commit to cross-disability solidarity and cross-movement solidarity.

#ActuallyAutistic people are the REAL experts on Autism.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why Temple Grandin is NOT my Hero

Hello everyone,

As the title says, I wanted to talk about Temple Grandin. I got to meet her when I was 12. She seemed very standoffish (which isn’t surprising). I did some research on her for some time and I’ve come to realize that she isn’t the best autism advocate. According to this article:

As a believer in functioning labels, Temple Grandin believes in preserving “high functioning” autistic traits while eliminating “low functioning” traits through Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) and cures and even special diets for autism, such as wheat free and dairy free. ABA is a harmful early intervention that causes PTSD in autistic adults and attempts to eliminate autistic behaviors and replace them with neurotypical behaviors, which causes distress and emotional and psychological harm in autistic children and adults who undergo ABA. The Association for Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABAI) even endorsed electric shock therapy at the Judge Rotenberg Center, the only care facility in the United States to use this horrific form of “treatment.” The fact that Temple Grandin divides autistic people into those that should be “preserved” and those that should be “cured” is a very harmful and ableist belief, and this view is damaging to the pro-acceptance and neurodiversity movement.

Article will be below:

Clearly she supports ABA therapy, which is harmful to autistic people. Plus she also mentions how she thinks autism can improve in time. Which…isn’t how it works. You can manage your traits and symptoms, but you can’t necessarily “improve”. Your autism is your autism. It’s not going to change.

While she did do some good work for the world, I cannot bring myself to support her advocacy. If you aren’t advocating for all autistic people, higher needs included, then you aren’t advocating for us at all.

Some autistic people have high support needs. And she doesn’t seem to understand that, and thinks it can magically improve is the gist I’m getting here. That’s not how it works. You don’t “improve” an autistic individual. You “support” them. No matter where they are on the spectrum.

According to another article I found:

Temple Grandin believes that "high-functioning" autistics are talented, intelligent, and necessary to human survival, while "low-functioning" autistics cannot function or live independently, and thus should be cured in the present and prevented from existing in the future. Both I and others have thoroughly deconstructed the false dichotomy of high and low functioning, but suffice it to say that such claims not only reinforce ableist hegemony, but also reinforce a capitalist notion of success and value in that only people who can produce are worthy of inclusion in society; all others are burdens.

That’s all I wanted to share. I will leave the source below if anyone wants to read it. I find this very disappointing because I looked up to her when I was younger.

[autisticadvocacy]

After a vote by the membership of Applied Behavioral Analysis International (ABAI), the governing body of ABA practitioners, ABAI has reversed their position on the use of electric skin shocks for behavior modification. As of today, “[ABAI] strongly oppose[s] the use of contingent electric skin shock (CESS) under any condition.” This is the result of years and decades of advocacy from the autistic community and our allies, bringing attention to ABAI’s continued support of the Judge Rotenberg Center and its use of electric shock torture.

For years, ABAI has allowed the Judge Rotenberg Center to sponsor their conference and to present on the use of electric shocks. Despite claiming that ABAI does not endorse the practices exhibited at their own conferences, ABAI continued to demonstrate clear support and endorsement for the Judge Rotenberg Center. Last May, ASAN and our grassroots, online and off, protested ABAI and their continued endorsement of torture. An ABAI taskforce looking into the use of electric shocks at the JRC presented their findings and final recommendations in September. The taskforce interviewed four people institutionalized at the JRC who are or were subjected to electric shocks. Despite three out of four people saying that they did not want to be shocked and all four saying that the shocks were painful, the final recommendation of the taskforce was not to oppose electric shocks. This recommendation continued ABAI’s decades-long disregard for the opinions, views and wants of JRC survivors, autistic people, and people with disabilities. While we are glad that the report’s recommendation was not adopted by ABAI, it’s clear that the new position statement is thanks to ABAI’s members, not its leadership. This change in position is too little, too late.

It has taken ABAI decades to oppose the use of torture in their field, decades where they continued to support and air the views of the JRC. In 2012, the United Nations Special Rappoteur on Torture condemned the use of electric shocks, determining that “the rights of the students of the JRC subjected to…electric shock and physical means of restraints have been violated under the UN Convention against Torture and other international standards.” In 2016, the FDA “determined that these devices present an unreasonable and substantial risk of illness or injury.” The disability community has said for decades that this device is harmful and that its use is never justified. It cannot be overstated how delayed this is, how much pain and suffering was experienced at the JRC over the decades that ABAI tacitly endorsed electric shock torture.

Now that ABAI has finally condemned the use of electric shocks, ASAN asks: What’s next? Will ABAI join us in fighting for a ban on the JRC’s electric shock devices? Will they stop letting the JRC use their conferences to promote torture? Will they confront the use of other aversives, from withholding food to “planned ignoring,” that are common within ABA? Will they change their position that restraint and seclusion may be used as punishments when “necessary or needed”? Will they grapple with ABA’s blatantly abusive origins? Will ABAI meaningfully listen to autistic people and our concerns, and take action?

ABAI’s new position does not change ASAN’s opposition to ABA, or to ABAI, but if ABAI is willing to act, they could assist us in the effort to finally ban electric shock torture. It is important that we apply as much pressure to Congress to ban the device as possible. We hope that now that ABAI has joined the disability community and other major professional organizations including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, American Academy of Developmental Medicine and Dentistry, International Association for the Scientific Study of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, National Association of State Directors of Developmental Disabilities Services, National Association of State Directors of Special Education, and National Association for the Dually Diagnosed in opposing the use of electric shocks, it will take concrete action, as these other groups have. ABAI claims in their statement that “ensuring the protection of the most vulnerable, oppressed, and marginalized populations” is part of their duty. We call on them to take steps to live up to those values by fighting right now to ban electric shock torture.

[taterforlife]

Things Parents of Children with Autism/ADHD/Developmental Delay/Intellectual Disability/etc. Should Know Before Agreeing to Applied Behavior Analysis Services (This is not a complete list but it has some that I consider most important):

You WILL see online criticism of people who have had bad experiences with ABA. You want a provider that is client-centered and cares about your child's needs and wants and makes sure that the process includes GETTING TO KNOW YOUR CHILD AND YOU and establishing a positive relationship before placing any sort of expectations on the child. People do not want to change their behavior or habits for someone they do not care about. And you want a provider that is trauma-informed and will take ALL PRECAUTIONS against causing trauma, using evidence-based behavior analytical treatments and focusing on reinforcement and letting the child make decisions throughout much of the process, and including you in it too.

It is meant to be an INTENSIVE SERVICE. It is based on the client's needs how many hours services should provide in a clinic or in your home, but this could range to anywhere from 10-20 hours on average. Sometimes more or less. Not being able to arrange those hours can cause more harm than good should your child have many needs or delays.

Daytime hours during the school year get you off the waitlist faster. Evening school hours are always taken first during the academic year. We often struggle finding families willing to take their kids out of school early or take them late. ABA companies should not pressure you on what choice to make, but if you feel your child could benefit or if you are experiencing high-intensity behaviors of concern such as aggression or elopement, it may be able to get you services faster. We are ALWAYS looking for daytime sessions!

Your participation is NECESSARY for success. The child must have interventions that are consistent across places and people. Otherwise, it will most likely be less effective or not effective at all. We want to teach you the strategies we use that show to be successful and work with you and the child! We want to work to the point where the child and the family does not need us anymore! But we cannot do that if you do not learn and accept teaching from us. And often insurances require it and will not pay anymore if the report shows you are not participatong and implementing. We are a service meant to enhance the lives of clients in a way that gives them wider access to things they want and like, build more meaningful relationships, and learn new skills that benefit them. If you do not want to participate, then you are probably thinking of a different service, such as having an attendant.

A good provider who is client-centered is not there to reduce behaviors others find "annoying" or "disruptive", such as stimming. They can be taught skills to help increase attention to tasks and temporarily redirect them, but it is often unethical and harmful to the child to stop them from doing it altogether. The treatment plan may even incorporate time for the child to be able to stim/flap hands/rock their body/etc. on purpose because often, they need it to regulate themselves. It feels good. It's their version of tapping fingers when nervous, playing with a strand of hair, etc. It would be unethical to make a client uncomfortable just because a behavior does not look "normal". If if truly hurts them to do the behavior, such as banging their head against a wall, then it will be addressed for safety concerns.

[trlvsn]

I hope you won’t mind elaborating, please ignore this message if it makes you uncomfortable, but I am terribly intrigued by the correlation between shipping narumitsu and having attachement issues, and I would love to hear your thoughts - either on the pattern you’ve noticed, or on why you think one would lead to the other? Sincerely, a sceptical of the idea that our fictional preferences reflect who we are (who also just happens to ship narumitsu lol) (this is all /lh and /genuinely interested btw my signature is meant to be tongue in cheek not passive-aggressive)

this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all! in fact, i'm happy to elaborate. i would, however, like to start this by saying i meant the case majority of nrmt shippers, not every single one, so if this doesn't apply to you - honestly, great news for your future and present relationships with people.

anyways. when i started reading narumitsu fanfiction, i noticed a pattern. people tend to make the characters pass the "i will find you and help you" role like a hot potato between the characters depending on the time of the events in the fanfic - if it's feenie or aa1 era, phoenix is the one who writes endless letters and seeks miles out, if it's aa3-aa4, edgeworth is the one who flies across the ocean to see wright or helps him financially and emotionally during the disbarment. each time, that borderline obsessive behavior gets romanticized and turns into the basic formula of "i'm in pain, closed off and not who i really am - let me help you despite your constant refusals - okay i'm better now. i love you also". i don't mean to say it's inherently bad to write stuff like that or that it makes the relationship toxic, i'm simply hyperbolizing and making an overall point.

another thing about those fics is that the hurt/comfort is usually centered on the one who needs the comfort. if phoenix helps miles get over the turnabout goodbyes trial, holds him after an earthquake or saves him "again", it's usually a miles-centered fic, and the disbarment ones are a phoenix study. it can be the other way around, of course, but the ones described earlier made me have a realization.

as i've stated in my nrmt analysis post, what they would have had before turnabout succession is just... not that healthy in my eyes? not long term healthy, at least. so i feel like nrmt fans tend to have a warped sense of what love and relationships are, constantly defining phoenix and miles by what they do for each other and what they mean to each other, not by their individual growth. phoenix often gets too much credit for saving miles, miles gets assigned the role of the one who was always there during the 7yg and helped take down kristoph, etc. again, not bad!! just interesting.

and with all of that being portrayed as this big romantic thing, i just feel like the narumitsu fans can be divided into different groups. if you like phoenix-centered bratfeen and aa1-3 wrightworth, you are likely to disregard your emotional needs for the sake of another person, idealize then, and to have experienced parental neglect or betrayal and abandonment of some kind, which can lead to an anxious attachment style. the people who like aa1-3 wrightworth with explorations of miles and disbarment fics about phoenix might have an idea in their head that no one understands them and never will, have a tendency to isolate themselves and have an avoidant attachment style. it might get mixed up too. of course, this is no way scientifically credible or well-spoken, it's like two am for me, what am i doing. but anyway, with the way nrmt shippers practically tie these two together by their identities... yeah.

again. absolutely no shade or hate or anything similar. i'm a huge narumitsu enjoyer. i have 333 bookmarks on ao3 and god knows some of them are exactly what I described above. but a girl has to speak her mind.

[onecornerface]

Blair iilluminaughtii's video about Autism Speaks & the JRC - some inaccuracies

A few months ago, Blair iilluminaughtii (a popular YouTuber) was exposed for being abusive to her colleagues behind the scenes, among other scandals. In the last few days, Hbomberguy (another popular YouTuber) further delved into her rampant plagiarism and inaccuracies. (Hbomb's main video and Hbomb's second video)

I mainly knew of iilluminaughtii because a few years ago, her videos about Autism Speaks were some of the first videos created by a popular YouTuber criticizing that organization. Autism Speaks's corruption, pseudoscience, and ableism are notorious in the autistic community, but not widely known in the general public. So, iilluminaughtii did a valuable service in that regard.

Moreover, to this day, she is one of the few popular YouTubers who has made a video about the horrific Judge Rotenberg Center, a center which uses a variant of Applied Behavioral Analysis (which is already abusive and pseudoscientific) accompanied by electric shock aversives (even more abusive and pseudoscientific) on involuntarily committed autistic patients. The JRC has somehow managed to stay open despite numerous scandals and several patient deaths.

However, three years ago, I noticed Iilluminaughtii's video about the JRC did have some inaccuracies in the timeframe, regarding its association with Autism Speaks. This was just what I noticed from the timeline not making sense in her video itself, and I didn't look into it a lot more. At the time, I assumed it was a one-off error. Now it appears this kind of sloppiness is her default mode throughout many videos on many topics. I also found more errors when I rewatched her JRC video today.

Here's what I posted on her video 3 years ago:

"Unfortunately, there are some additional wrinkles in their [Autism Speaks'] sort-of-condemnation of the JRC which you missed. It’s true that Autism Speaks (or at least, Marc Sirkin, one of their representatives) explicitly condemned the JRC. I’m not sure if that was in a public statement (which I can’t find) or only in private communication. BUT, check the dates— the condemnation was in 2012! That was BEFORE Autism Speaks supported the JRC in November 2013 at their DC Walk Now event. As far as I can tell, Autism Speaks has never apologized, nor have they explicitly recanted their support for the JRC since that time. At least, I can't find any public statements by Autism Speaks explicitly about the JRC since 2013.

"As you note, Autism Speaks did add this to their website: “We are opposed to aversion therapy and do not support or endorse organizations that engage in its use as a form of treatment for autism.” So at least that’s an implicit condemnation, apparently in 2016. However, it’s still important that they did not explicitly disavow the JRC, nor did they apologize for their previous support for the JRC."

-- I decided to rewatch the video and do just a few hours more research today. The first time around, I somehow missed or failed to mention Blair Iilluminaughtii’s most serious error. She said the JRC’s electric shock practices apparently ceased when Matthew Israel (its founder, who also invented the specialized electric shock device) was forced to resign. She qualified this with a bit of uncertainty, but did not emphasize the uncertainty, and didn't do enough research to find she was wrong.

Israel was forced to resign in 2011. But what actually happened is that the JRC merely *reduced* its use of the electric shocks from 2011 (or thereabouts) onwards, but did NOT end it. Now, the JRC no longer uses the shocks on *new* patients—but it DOES still use the electric shocks on many longterm patients who were already subjected to them. As of 2021, this set apparently consisted of 55 patients (out of a total of maybe some 200 patients).

There have been some more developments in the last few years regarding the FDA, legislation, and court cases, but I’m not sure what all has happened since the last update by Lydia Brown (one of the JRC's main critics) back in 2021.

I also think Blair Iilluminaughtii may have overstated the degree to which Autism Speaks was associated with the JRC. Toward the end, she says Autism Speaks “endorsed” the JRC for “many, many years.” Her main evidence for their connection is that the JRC partnered with Autism Speaks at the 2013 DC Walk Now event. Such a partnership was of course egregious—but it might have been confined to 2013, for all she says in the video. iilluminaughtii’s main source seems to be a post by Lydia Brown, who only mentioned the 2013 event and no previous connection. Brown's post is quoted several times in the video.

Brown also mentioned explicitly that Autism Speaks’s disavowal of the JRC had occurred a year earlier in 2012, yet iilluminaughtii says this disavowal was “later on.” The fact that iilluminaughtii got the timeline wrong indicates she didn’t properly read her own source.

Iilluminaughtii also describes the Walk Now event as Autism Speaks “recommending” the JRC’s founder, Matthew Israel, *himself*—which doesn’t seem quite right, since Israel had been forced to resign two years earlier (although many of his horrible ideas remain in place).

Here’s my rough reconstruction of the actual timeline: In 2011, Matthew Israel resigned. Around that same time (due to related scandals), the JRC’s use of electric shocks was restricted to patients already being subjected to it (but was *not* ended). In 2012 (also due to those scandals), Autism Speaks disavowed the JRC in a not-very-public statement which was made via a third party blogger. In 2013, Autism Speaks partnered with the JRC at DC Walk Now (despite what they’d previously said).

Iilluminaughtii may have been inclined to overstate the Autism Speaks-JRC connection because it allowed her to get more views by framing her JRC video as a sequel to her earlier Autism Speaks video. She may also have been thrown off by the fact that Autism Speaks condemned the JRC a year *before* partnering with them—a weird fact which could easily be misinterpreted (since the opposite order of events *would* have made more sense!).

To be clear, it was unacceptable that Autism Speaks partnered with the JRC *at all*, and the JRC is *still* extremely abusive. However, a more nuanced video would have gotten the timeline right, and would have gone into more detail on the history and specifics.

Another point to consider (not discussed in the video): Autism Speaks has long supported ABA—and *some* ABA organizations support the JRC, while *other* ABA organizations condemn the JRC. (Arguably, the JRC is the result of taking the abusive spirit of ABA to its horrific logical conclusion. However, it may also be politically important to get more ABA proponents to condemn the JRC.) What relationships does Autism Speaks have to the ABA orgs which are pro-JRC vs. the ABA orgs which are anti-JRC? I don’t know, but that would be an interesting question to delve into.

Some big YouTuber who is more credible and careful should really do a video on the JRC and these related topics.

Note: I just found that in a later stream (part 1, part 2) in 2021 on her second channel, iilluminaughtii did a bit more research and confirmed that the JRC was still doing the electric shocks after 2011. However, that stream got far fewer views than her original video, and she never added any clarification or correction to the description of her original video.

[boredtechnologist]

Evelynn, a champion in the game League of Legends, is characterized as a succubus, thriving on inflicting pain and suffering. Her lore presents her as a demon who preys on the emotions of her victims, drawing power from their agony.

Personality Analysis: Evelynn exhibits traits that align closely with several psychological concepts and personality disorders. Here, we examine her profile through the lenses of notable psychological theories and frameworks.

1. Psychopathy: Her behavior exhibits strong psychopathic tendencies. According to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), key traits include glibness/superficial charm, a grandiose sense of self-worth, pathological lying, cunning/manipulative behaviors, and a lack of remorse or guilt. Evelynn's delight in causing pain, lack of empathy, and manipulation of victims are indicative of high scores in these areas.

Notable Psychologists:

Robert D. Hare: His work on psychopathy provides a framework for understanding Evelynn's behavior. Hare's checklist can be applied to analyze her lack of empathy, superficial charm, and manipulative nature.

Cleckley, H. (1941). "The Mask of Sanity" presents criteria for psychopathy, many of which Evelynn embodies, such as superficial charm and failure to learn from experience.

2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Evelynn exhibits traits of NPD, characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Her seductive allure and the need to be the center of attention align with narcissistic traits.

Notable Psychologists:

Heinz Kohut: Kohut’s theories on self-psychology and narcissism can be used to understand Evelynn’s need for admiration and her grandiose sense of self.

Otto Kernberg: Kernberg’s work on narcissistic personality disorder provides insights into Evelynn's emotional coldness and manipulative behaviors.

3. Sadism: Evelynn's enjoyment of causing pain aligns with sadistic personality disorder traits. Sadistic behavior includes deriving pleasure from others' pain, cruelty, and the use of fear to control others.

Notable Psychologists:

Theodore Millon: Millon's description of the sadistic personality includes deriving pleasure from cruelty, which aligns closely with Evelynn's predatory nature.

Roy F. Baumeister: Baumeister’s research on sadism and sexual arousal related to aggression can be used to further understand Evelynn's motivations and behaviors.

4. Dark Triad: Evelynn’s characteristics can also be examined through the concept of the Dark Triad: a combination of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. This triad encapsulates her manipulative, deceitful, and self-serving nature.

Notable Psychologists:

Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams: Their work on the Dark Triad provides a comprehensive framework for understanding Evelynn’s complex personality traits.

Behavioral Analysis:

Manipulation and Deception: Evelynn often manipulates her victims through seduction and deceit, reflecting high levels of Machiavellianism.

Empathy Deficit: Her lack of empathy and enjoyment in others' suffering indicate psychopathy and sadistic tendencies.

Need for Control: Evelynn's desire to dominate and control her victims aligns with both sadistic and narcissistic traits.

Evelynn’s psychological profile is dominated by elements of psychopathy, narcissism, sadism, and traits identified in the Dark Triad. Her behavior aligns with established psychological theories and diagnostic criteria, making this profile robust and defensible within the context of her character’s lore in League of Legends.

[cheswirls]

let me / for you ship dynamic analysis

(fic link)

:)

part 1 - cyanide capsules [ if we die it's together / our fate and demise are tied as one ]

sabo

likes to be underestimated

manipulative

loves controlling ace by being a brat and acting needy and willing ace to do what he wants

ace

overtly possessive

needs to feel like he's protecting sabo

loves exerting control over sabo with physical power play

points elaborated –

sabo never reveals his true capabilities because he wants to use people's false perception of him to his benefit. he's crafty and cunning, and he knows he can get away with so much more in life if he plays the part of a sad, small puppy. completely helpless. lacking all ability to care for himself. needing someone to wait on him hand and foot. he uses this to get exactly what he wants out of a person every time. ace especially so, because if he puts up a frint and acts all needy and submissive, he knows there's nothing ace won't do for him.

ace craves acceptance and appreciation more than anything. he needs to feel like he's the center of attention, and like he's the only one that matters in sabo's life. it's why he's so insanely jealous of sabo's every interaction with and focus on someone or something that's not him. he knows he can make sabo submit, so he turns this to his advantage, keeping sabo on a tight leash and being quick to lash out of sabo's actions or behavior don't align with what ace expects from him.

-

scene-by-scene

[1] sabo takes the lead for ace and prevents him from causing a scene unnecessarily, in part standing up for ace by showing they come as a matched set - by declaring in a sense that rules and customs and laws aren't going to keep them apart. and also in part keeping ace under his thumb, maintaining control of the situation he's put them in that he needs something out of. ace could storm off and leave sabo item-less in the worst case, so to prevent this, sabo plays two sides at once, appealing to ace and firmly denying shakky.

before they leave, shakky gives sabo another order-suggestion, but this time it's ace that answers, taking charge of sabo's safety and well-being. hand tight around sabo's arm to keep him firmly at ace's side. repaying sabo in kind for his demonstration when they arrived, and showing shakky sabo is as much ace's as he is sabo's by not giving sabo a chance to answer shakky for himself.

[2] the one truthful statement is at the end, about sabo and ace each considering themselves half a person, only a whole human unit when they function together as a pair. this is a pretty standard metaphor for their relationship in general: they view themselves as the missing pieces that slot into everything the other is missing, and where life shows they lack in covering each other's weaknesses, they work on themselves individually to cover the deficit. they mould themselves to truly be the other's half in every aspect, doing everything the other wouldn't do themself.

but also there's a sickening lack of value in seeing yourself as an incomplete person. as not being enough on your own. since they both feel this so strongly, it keeps them tethered together even before the curses are cast. they are nothing without each other. they are less than human without the other at their side. and more than that, they see each other as less than human without themself present. he is nothing without me, in its purest form. and i am everything to him. having both an inferiority complex and a god complex almost at once.

extrapolating this further, this is only implied throughout the story but very much holds true. both ace and sabo function as (mostly) different types of codependent people. ace is a falsely empowered type and sabo is a disempowered type. because their mindsets are also linked so intimately, each isn't fully one type and exhibit some behavior patterns from the other. this is to say, feel free to research codependency on your own but keep in mind everything that applies to this fic/au won't fit so neatly into a single box :)

ace's lack of self-worth means he's constantly seeking admiration and praise and has a deep desire to feel needed. he's at sabo's every beck and call, to the point where no one else in the entire world takes precedent over sabo's wants and needs. but he's also inherently selfish and often seeks out ways of claiming sabo's validation that can be disruptive depending on the present situation. if he needs attention, he'll force sabo's hand and get it no matter what.

to go along with this, ace is the type of person to project an aura of being overly-competent. he's confident, he's faultless. if he's not interested in something he won't pay it mind, even if this avoidance will affect him later on. he has no weaknesses and no moderation on any aspect of his life. even if he's focused intently on a task at hand, it will never be 100% in full because sabo will always linger in his mind.

sabo needs to feel loved and necessary and will often force situations where ace is needed to feed the cycle, gaining worth through seeing how much ace loves and cares for him. he comes off as needy to keep the pleasing-please-er give-and-take going, but this also means that when his self-worth balances out temporarily he finds ace's advances overbearing and stifling. kind of an 'i want you when i need you but when i don't need you i need you to sit quietly in the corner' situation. he doesn't want ace to set boundaries but gets cross when ace oversteps sabo's own.

sabo is super dependent to the point that he'll put his general care and well-being solely in the hands of ace. he has to be at the forefront of ace's thoughts constantly, but struggles with ace wanting the same for him. he'll get insanely jealous of any attention ace gets from someone that's not him. he does not see any problem with any of his manipulative traits or monopoly on ace's time. he does what he wants and expects ace to follow at his heels. he cannot say no to ace.

out of the two, sabo is more realistic when it comes to their long-term needs and plans, and ace is better about handling the day-by-day: making sure they eat and sleep and do the bare minimum to keep from getting expelled. sabo is driven and goal-oriented, while ace is very go-with-the-flow. sabo knows what he wants out of life, but ace only wants sabo indefinitely, so he does what he can to maintain their bond.

two different codependent people in a romantic relationship to the extent these two are in means that they clash with each other a lot. it's not uncommon to find them at odds and often the resolution will be messy or temporary, OR ignored in full which is worse. they refuse to work out their problems to keep up the illusion of happiness and fulfillment. they fight for stupid reasons and come up with things to argue over just for the sake of arguing. the distance limitation means they have no room to step back and take a break from each other. sharing their feelings makes everything blurred – keeps them questioning why they have the right to be upset, deescalating things without actually talking through it so issues just keep popping up over and over. often deluding themselves (and each other! mostly each other!) into thinking everything is fine.

[3] it's a carnal instinct of ace's that he always has to make sure sabo is visibly marked as belonging to him. bite marks are easy to leave and take time to heal, so it's his preferred method.

when it's out of his line of interest, ace will ignore sabo's intent and attempt to control their schedule. if he doesn't want sabo out of bed, he'll do his utmost to keep him there. wearing sabo's shirt is another move to show possession – ownership, if you must. it's a power play to drive sabo insatiable and then deny him in the end to refocus on their day's objectives. keeps sabo wanting for him, constantly.

[4] sabo mentions closing one of ace's bite marks because he knows ace won't go for it and will give himself instead. notice he only does this after ace doesn't agree to help at the first available chance.

this comes up a few times, and always for the same reason. whenever ace is injured or it's inevitable that he'll feel pain, his focus is always on how this will affect sabo. he tells sabo not to hurt himself when he's going to cut ace open. completely unconcerned with what he's about to experience, ignoring it even. no "don't cut me too deep because you'll feel it too", either for pain-related purposes or wondering how sabo would function in healing him if he was too hurt to do so – none of this. he doesn't mention himself at all when sabo's about to dig the scalpel into his skin.

this is also the first real instance of ace displaying an interest in sabo's field of study. it'll come up more in pt 2, so i won't elaborate as much, but in short, sabo's magical curriculum wasn't his first choice and wasn't what he originally enrolled to study. ace's interest is more sympathetic than anything else, kind of like he's dragging himself along with sabo since they have little choice at this point.

[5] sabo is the one to propose performing the curses, but once ace hears of the idea, he's instantly on board to the same degree sabo is.

[7] sabo's safety is ace's top priority. this comes up a lot but can't be understated. ace won't let sabo cause undue harm to himself. this is why he removes sabo's hand from the light's reach very soon after sabo puts it there, and why he's so obstinate on limiting sabo's experimenting on the matter.

ace's physical contact with sabo while they're by the fireplace is meant to be a comfort thing. that he's right there no matter what happens, that he'll risk being overbearing to ensure sabo's physical condition. it's also a little in part a form of restraint – making sure he's able to pull sabo back quickly or keep him from a re-attempt if the first goes awry.

having ace wake up to see sabo permanently disfigured was certainly a trip. he views it as his failure more than anything. he nods off for a bit and now sabo has extensive scarring that's there for life. for ace, it's one moment to the next – sabo being fine and then sabo having mottled skin over the left half of his face. it's terrifying to know something could happen so quickly without his knowing, with him being completely unaware. sabo had to go through it alone and ace hates that. hates thinking what sabo's initial reaction could have been, what he had to come to terms with alone, what he probably speculated ace would think of it all – good or bad. it weighs on him so heavily. it forces his overprotectiveness into overdrive.

"we only need to have so much skill between the two of us to survive.” what sabo tells ace at the end of the scene is pretty much their shared life's motto. neither of them have to be competent in the same area – that's what they have each other for.

[8] this is probably the most culminate scene in the entire au because i don't delve much into anything that happens before ace and sabo curse themselves. it's meant to be a little insight into why they did what they did but mostly serves to highlight how important the magic is to them.

sabo says to the faculty that this triple bond he has with ace is not only the best thing that's ever happened to him, but that it's the only thing that makes his life worth living. implying that even his relationship with ace hadn't been enough before for him to feel like existing was worth it.

the introspection goes into how they both feel that there are days where they honestly can't tell they're separate people leading their own individual lives. this is also the scene (in more elaboration) that reveals that both of them only really see themselves as half of a human being. the fact that they don't see themselves as complete without each other is suuuuuuuper unhealthy but since it's framed with rose-tinted glasses it probably doesn't appear that way at first :)

and the last line reveals a key difference between the two at this point in time: ace would do anything in the world if it meant he got to continue living with sabo to the extent they are now – but sabo would kill them both before he let them be separated. their resolve is the same level of commitment but with contrasting morals and ideals. i don't think ace is necessarily afraid of death, but to him, it's more worth it to continue to live out his life with sabo at his side. while with sabo, he comes to an extreme ultimatum first and foremost while considering the worst of the worst. in this scenario, ace is more likely to be wishy-washy (which comes into play later!!) while sabo is ready to jump the gun and cut their losses.

also, as a last tidbit, one of the staff members highlights what ace and sabo think of the bond perfectly: curses are named such because they're cast on someone unwillingly. when a curse is performed knowing and accepting and even welcoming the consequences, then what really makes it a curse at that point? is it not simply another form of magic? it can still be old, forbidden magic without being labeled as a curse. this is how the two of them view it, anyway.

[9] sabo leaves ace's side to heed the call of classmates while keeping in mind how much distance is between the two. i always pictures the room being setup with those long lecture hall desks divided in rows, so probably ace is sat near enough to the end of such for sabo to move around and then down the stairs to be relatively still in front of ace but just on a lower level of the hall. it's not that they can't be physically apart but that they never choose to, and this is meant to be an example of such – sabo is the one being addressed, so he's the one to come forward.

sabo will always come first, ace insists, as he puts aside his bloodlust to tend to sabo's feeble form. he's willing to let go in order to take care of sabo. this contrasts a scene later where sabo is willing to get his hands dirty in order smooth things over when ace. they both provoke actions unsuited to each other, and it has to do with how long they've been bonded to such an extent for this long. that possibly, ace's quick temper is rubbing off on sabo, while sabo's more caretaker-esque aiming-to-please quirks are starting to affect ace's priority levels.

it's telling that ace say respond to sabo in such an unsure manner and still sabo is quick to put his full faith in ace. he knows he'll be okay because ace is looking out for him. another reason why he so wholeheartedly puts his well-being in ace's hands over his own.

[10] in my notes i had it phrased that the two students asked for help from and teleported sabo to get him out of the way so they could pursue their real target: ace. not with any ill intentions, but in their minds, sabo is an obstacle. with sabo gone, they're free to garner and hold all of ace's attention. despite initially starting conversation with sabo, it's a ruse because they're only trying to get ace to themselves. a pretty clever way to divide the two! if only they didn't have such a debilitating separation curse :(

ace is rightfully mad despite their apologies because they used sabo to get to him, in a sense. they teleported sabo and sabo's the one worse off since he's technically the one moving apart past the limit. it's not that sabo is unconscious and ace is the only one to apologize to, but that ace is the one currently mad at them and they're trying to appease the person they were after conversation with in the first place. they're both short-sighted enough that they can't even acknowledge how much harm they did to sabo, because ace was the one they saw in pain and ace is the one they want a connection with.

[11] this is less of a relationship note but i changed the design of sabo's gloves in part 1 three separate times. at first it curved higher on the meat of his thumb to reveal a section of flesh, then it had a circle cutout and buttoned at the wrist, and lastly it had a triangle cut so the stitching split down the middle of his palm angularly. this keeps a patch of skin always bare in case he ever needs to quickly draw blood – since the rest of him is so covered up. this scene in particular phrases blood magic as a kind of bad, sinister thing, but lots of spells require blood to function! especially sabo's magic, that involves offering a piece of himself in order to perform amazing feats. more on that in part 2 ;)

it should be easy to catch but the beginning of this scene is a memory, which is why it transitions to sabo being lost in thought. originally i had it as a dream he wakes up from, but i wanted him sitting at the desk and saw no need for him to be sleeping in a hard chair when they have more comfortable seating. actually, originally there was a small bed in the corner of the study, but i don't think i ever mentioned it in the final draft of part one so it must've been axed.

the whole point of combining the two into one scene instead of having the final curse be on its own is to highlight how much them having this third curse affects how they view themselves. it's also one of many instances that shows how them not being able to give themselves space to breathe affects their relationship. if you're fighting with someone then you separate and give yourself time to cool down. sabo doesn't have this luxury, so when ace is refusing to budge, he can only sit and stew in silence.

i didn't do a great job circling back but to reiterate – moments like this are meant to show how snippy the two are with each other on a daily basis. they can't get away. they never have opportunities to stop and reflect. they never fix things, not completely, which is why little annoyances keep popping up over and over and over, and why they're so constantly irritated with each other when they're not sickeningly in love. they bounce between two extremes so frequently with not a second to recover from either. their lives are literally so exhausting.

this is also a really good instance of sabo twisting things to go in his favor. yes, he's overwhelmed, and yes, he's angry with ace, and yes, he's really feeling all of the feelings that come with someone's thoughts of hating you being forced onto you unwittingly, but the point is that he uses these and exaggerates to get ace to do what he wants. if ace won't respond positively to sabo being angry, then maybe he will to sabo being sad and inconsolable. he's not lying but he is trying to escalate a situation that forces ace to regroup and try to tend to sabo. ace drops the whole ordeal and both refuse to elaborate on it – they don't talk about their issues and never do, they just move on when one of them decides they need to move on, leaving the other no room to argue.

coming back around to a point made in an earlier scene – ace is able to look at things a bit more objectively, and when he realizes how badly sabo is being affected by the curse, he's the one to state aloud that they may have made a mistake. sabo reacts as he does because he's so insecure and he feels like he's losing his grip on ace. him putting words in ace's mouth immediately after is his way of scrambling to regain that control.

and the ending is another point from another scene! :) sabo is entirely indifferent to everything that happened, but now that they've had such a bad moment and the cause is ace's anger on sabo's behalf, it's now sabo's turn to seek revenge on ace's behalf. what he says that ace doesn't hear is something along the lines of dealing with the students himself. he refuses to repeat himself to spare ace's feelings, resorting to acting on his own as a way to repay ace – because if ace had felt such anger on sabo's behalf, then surely sabo can return the favor.

[12] in case it wasn't evident from the last scene: ace knows nothing about sabo's ill intentions. they can still keep secrets from each other. so, having nothing to go off of, ace's possessiveness comes out in full force over sabo offering "gifts" as a way of saying let-bygones-be-bygones. he doesn't allow sabo to touch either of the boys and immediately gets touchy-feely with sabo after the two leave.

sabo raising his hood is a way to limit who sees them because he likes having moments with ace all to himself. pda doesn't bother him, but he pulls the wide hood to hide his face just a little, even as he's wrapped in ace's arms and ace is so clearly kissing him to anyone who sees them entangled to such an extent. it's also a bit like flaunting their relationship status. they can make out in the halls but not just anyone is allowed to see them do so.

[13] pronunciation guide to magical creature for funsies: SPHE is said like SS-FEE, like the start of 'sphere', or a hiss at the start of 'fee' ; REENG is said like 'ring' with an extended vowel. sphe'reeng in full, with the apostrophe dividing a word as is common in arabic names (ja'far, for example).

the old folklore book ace's knowledge comes from regarding the sphe'reeng originally was a children's fairytale. if you want to view it as such that's fine with me :) i think phrasing it the way i did made it sound more sophisticated, and ace would be more likely to stumble upon such a book on campus than something made for kids.

there's a lot of instances in part one that highlights how ace and sabo can't real each other's minds despite how much else they can do, and this scene has another one when ace just assumes sabo knows they have to kill the creature to obtain the magic vitality organ. sabo is quick to humor ace either way, but not without a bit of chagrin. this is another common occurrence and another tick in the 'we can't stay mad at each other so what am i willing to fight about and what do i have to let go of' counter. picking and choosing battles. is this really worth it? sabo doesn't seem to think so.

it'll be better explained in part two but i can offer a little tidbit re: ace feeling cold all the time. ace has a scene earlier (and it's in the p1 design) where he throws on a thermal shirt underneath his clothes. this is because sabo frequently draws on ace's larger mana supply, and when ace's mana runs low, it leaves him feeling cold. dressing more warmly that necessary is a way to subvert this.

the 'gift it to me' is a line i've had since the very start of my notes for this au. it's phrased this way on purpose. sabo doesn't want to be given this organ, he wants ace to hand over all jurisdiction of it. 'gift it' instead of 'give it' is super deliberate because he wants a present from ace, because he wants the connotation that comes from receiving such a thing from ace. ace has put them through hardship now for seemingly no reason, so sabo wants a reward for assisting now that it's all for naught. it's a very power-hungry way to demand something. sabo's not asking for the organ – but he's telling ace what to do so he ends up with it.

biting into the organ right in front of ace is also another power move. he's proving he's the better of the two, that he has more guts than ace. blah blah yadda yadda the prose in this instance speaks for itself.

[15] this scene has THE most notable example of the pair's lack of conflict resolution. they're both constantly playing each other to get what they want. it's not done out of malice, of course, it's simply an unhealthy lack of communication. they're both constantly one-upping each other to come out on top. in this instance, ace is catering to sabo's goodwill to get him to agree, and since sabo can't say no to ace once ace puts up even the smallest amount of persuasion, it ends up going in ace's favor. despite the consequences. despite the setbacks it produces. what ace wants in the moment, sabo is free to give.

later, sabo very bluntly address a point of contention by thinking that even when he's so mad, he can't just dip and leave ace behind. and even though ace is in the wrong, he doesn't offer any sort of apology. he just coerces sabo into doing something else according to his whims.

[16] the bracelet charm is a failsafe and an extremely kind gesture from ace. it's setup for part 2 so you'll have to wait til then to see the purpose :) but w/o giving too much away, yes it's a counter to the curse but it's very limited in scope so it's not intended to be smth they can keep doing forever and ever to avoid sharing pain. it's magically-inclined but they don't actually know if the spell will work as intended, or for how long either. it could have a duration of thirty seconds. it could last ten days. it could last for ten seconds and be completely useless. but it's the thought that counts :) and it's ace giving to sabo, giving sabo the chance to use it and save himself from ace's pain. he could have gotten both with an adequate amnt of funds, but he chooses not to. it's another way of showing how little ace values himself compared to how he values sabo, too.

also, this is another way of showing that ace cares more about their lives than sabo. sabo is willing to die together with ace should the moment arise, but ace is taking steps to ensure they don't get wiped out at first chance. ace is content to live life with sabo, with no specific goal in mind, because that's enough for him. it's a point of contention because sabo sees this and wants ace to have more agency, to develop a purpose outside of sabo to some extent. to have something to focus on apart from their relationship so they can avoid like what happened in the previous scene, of them being so enraptured and drawn to each other that they brush aside any and everything else. he wants ace to find a reason for living that doesn't revolve around sabo.

ace's last little declaration that sabo immediately agrees to is also another wild example of unhealthy codependency. ace wants sabo to do whatever sabo wants to do, but in turn, sabo has to cater to ace's whims whenever necessary. whenever ace deems it necessary. and sabo says yes to such without hesitation. because, as the closing line says, they're eager to indulge each other's every whim :) no matter the cost.

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My personal rant: Why are all forms of jealousy unhealthy?

Just to give you a heads up, this is more of a rant rather than a well-thought-out analysis based on unbiased opinions. Honestly, I won’t even bother speaking formally. So please bear with me. Let’s dive right into it. My rant centers on the question of whether a little bit of jealousy can be beneficial in a romantic relationship. Personally, I firmly believe that it is not healthy, and I do have reasons to support my viewpoint. However, I might meander a bit because I also want to use my personal experiences to share some wisdom, or at least attempt to do so.

Insecurity lies at the root of jealousy, and it varies from person to person as to why they struggle with trust.

To illustrate, I will use my own experience. When someone becomes possessive and expresses jealousy, it implies that they don’t believe I can be loyal. This behavior stems from a deep-rooted fear of not being deserving and the belief that someone else could easily come along and take me away. It’s as if they had no faith in me to resist the allure of so many delicious women in the world. (There I go again, sprinkling satire.) But let’s be honest, there are plenty of scrumptiousnesses out there in the world. However, that wasn’t the case for me at the time. They didn’t respect the fact that I wasn’t the type to pursue every woman that crossed my path. In fact, my mind rarely focused on my lower regions in the first place, even though today I joke about it. So it still baffles me to this day that a romantic partner would even get jealous.

Okay… Here’s a fun question to ask people.

What would you do if you had only 24 hours to live?

My answer was boring. All I wanted was to stick to my usual routine of having coffee in the morning while reading my favorite webcomics or a few blogs, eat a tasty meal, and chill with good people. The only difference would be the last hours. I would enjoy a six-pack of beer and find a pleasant spot to watch the sunset or sunrise. One of my lovers at the time answered that they wanted their life to end in bliss between someone’s legs. It still makes me laugh to think about it because I believe many people would choose that path. However, it’s not what I would do, though.

Let me clarify something - I have a naturally intimidating presence. My face alone scares people away, earning me the reputation of the ice queen of ice queens. Even my own mother used to worry about others watching me as a kid because I appeared cold because of my reserved nature. She always wanted to pick me up from whoever was taking care of me and bring me home. However, that wasn’t necessary either. The people who watched over me didn’t want me to leave. They would decline my mother’s requests to pick me up late at night, and in the morning, she wasn’t allowed to come get me until I had breakfast first.

Perhaps it was the enigmatic aura that seemed to emanate from me, drawing people in. If someone cared enough to see beyond my aloof exterior, they would discover themselves falling under my spell. I must admit, I am well aware of this effect I have on others, but I never exploit it or manipulate it to my advantage. I have had too many instances where women became emotionally wounded when I did not reciprocate their affections. As a result, I have made a conscious decision to not engage in casual kisses or pursuing relationships without a genuine reason. I do not encourage their interest in me or take part in their subtle flirts or playful banter, as it has often led to undesirable consequences. This stance even applies to women who identify as heterosexual.

In relationships, I’ve kept my arms locked tight and my face devoid of any expression, making it impossible for anyone to even be interested. It’s something I still reflect on. Why would anyone be concerned about losing me to someone else? Well, it’s probably just their own insecurities. But let’s get back to the topic at hand.

Let’s be honest: jealousy clouds the essential qualities of honor, trust, and respect. I have personally experienced my partner’s mistrust, and it felt like a direct attack on the virtues I held dear, as someone who had shown and expressed that my heart belonged to them. However, for an insecure person, it is never enough because they will search for any flaw in your character to validate their fears.

Dealing with someone possessive can be challenging. At first, I brushed off their small actions as cute, as who doesn’t enjoy feeling wanted? Being held tightly or their slight agitation when someone else talks to me and I’m not giving them my full attention can seem endearing initially. However, depending on the person, it can escalate quickly. It can evolve into questioning my whereabouts, who I was with, and constantly monitoring my behavior and phone. Let me tell you, missed calls or texts; if I didn’t respond quickly, it always led to arguments.

I’ll admit this for my readers sake-I’ve experienced varying degrees of possessiveness, gaslighting, narcissism, and abuse from people, and in my younger years, I believed the issue was with me. However, in reality, it was them projecting their insecurities onto me and their past relationships. They had issues, and I had issues too because I was them. It took a lot of reflecting on why I ended up in those situations in the first place. But I’m gonna be honest, I’m just like my parents in terms of stupidity around relationships. We are dumb until we develop wisdom from our past behaviors and mistakes. That requires facing those dang demons to break the cycle. I’m breaking that bitch-ass karmic cycle with every tool and resource known to man and the heavens.

At first, I didn’t understand it. To be honest, I’ve always trusted my partners to go out, do their own thing, and come back home. I never worried about them being influenced by others because, deep down, I believed that if they truly wanted to be with me, there was no need to question it. This mindset remained unchanged even when my romantic partners broke my trust, and they had to work hard to earn it back. However, I don’t make it difficult for someone new because of experiences. I can’t treat anyone with less respect because I have a dark past with lovers. That’s why any new person gets my utmost respect and trust, honoring their words and actions over my past. Yet, I do take jealousy seriously, even if it’s minor. The thoughts that come to mind is if the person can overcome those emotions and grow to trust and honor me. That’s why I no longer hold back when something concerns me. If the person cannot honor my words and actions, then the relationship cannot progress any further. It doesn’t matter how kind or wonderful they may be; if they can’t become secure or take the time to truly understand me, it becomes pointless.

I often notice jealousy and possessiveness being used as elements of romance, which can make for good drama. However, it’s important to point out that these behaviors are actually unhealthy. While shows and movies may portray them mildly, based on my own experience, it’s crucial for people to stay safe and aware, as it can escalate into something dangerous. Unfortunately, some individuals are unaware of just how dangerous it can become.

Nevertheless, using mild jealousy for entertainment is acceptable, as long as viewers understand that it’s not healthy or romantic. In reality, it’s a tactic of abuse, specifically mental and emotional abuse. When it crosses into physical danger, I genuinely hope that people can protect themselves. Personally, I’ve been fortunate enough to escape such situations twice, despite them involving women.

It’s important to note that individuals overwhelmed by insecurity may be more prone to engaging in harmful actions. While some minor jealousy depicted in shows accurately portrays the mental turmoil it can inflict on people; however, I only truly enjoy it when the characters grow beyond those insecurities and learn to trust their partners. I witnessed this growth in the Thai GL series “Gap the Series” and I’ve been captivated by ���Blank the Series” as well. However, since the series isn’t finished, I can only rely on the source material. In the novel, the characters eventually overcome their destructive insecurities and achieve a happily ever after.

I understand my perspective is biased, as some people may perceive jealousy and possessiveness as romantic. However, I personally cannot see it that way. In the real world, outside of fantasy, these traits are unhealthy. As I began to value and honor myself for who I am and who I am becoming, I realized that any form of jealousy and possessiveness is detrimental. We can observe this in the relationships between Sam and Mon, as well as Khun Nueng and Anueng; it can be quite overwhelming. Insecurities have the power to disrupt our mental well-being and hinder our ability to connect with others.

While I may not fully comprehend the reasons behind a person’s actions, I have come to understand the importance of relying on the fact that things don’t always work out as planned. Sometimes, what may seem like a setback can actually be a blessing in disguise. The fear of being alone can lead anyone down a dangerous path, and desperation only exacerbates the situation. Desperation rarely yields positive outcomes, believe me. Incompatible relationships often result in crashes and burns. I’m just saying.

Please take this at your own will. Thank you.