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the-monkeies-girl · 3 months

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Future. ( Noa x Human!Reader ) Part 8.

I keep waiting for it to get better GUYS

Title: Future. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Violence, injury, blood, eyyyyy. ) Pairing: Implied! Noa x Human! Reader. Words: 6.4K+ Summary: Demise comes in a lot of forms. Read the Series Here.

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Noa must have sent Eagle Sun in his place, choosing to not even bother saying goodbye as you stared at the bird sitting on the back of the horse you were gearing up to depart on. He surely seemed intent on watching as you placed your satchel and freshly filled water gorge onto one of the twining hooks in the back for safe keeping during your travels, going as far as to peck at the item as if to say ‘you’re not leaving, you can’t leave’.

He had been here, you deduced by the fact that there was a freshly rolled blanket mounted on the back carrier of the horse, along with enough provisions to last you at least a week, if not more if you rationed, a few spearheads and a few water gorges, all full. It was clear that Noa hadn’t slept the night before, opting to do something to keep himself busy before you chose to leave. He had no idea when, but he must have figured you’d leave before first light so as to not make a spectacle out of it anymore.

Like it was one to even begin with, rolling your eyes, you tightened the blanket hap-hazardly, subconsciously dallying enough to give you a bit more time to think about what was waiting for you beyond the bushes and safety net that Noa had casted over you for so long.

You adjusted the bag that Noa had given you. Not even bothering a kind thought towards it, there were no good intentions put behind the items in your eyes anymore, it felt hollow and shallow like you were stepping into a lake that appeared deep on the surface but was nothing more than a mere puddle. Noa most likely gave you these things out of ridding himself of guilt if you ended up dead, your face contorted uncomfortably at the idea but it felt right. Let Echo leave with food, some small weapons and small items to help out and if they die on their own, then oh well, at least Noa did what he needed to do so as to not cause your death directly.

Contemplating for a moment as you were in a staredown with the Eagle, you chose to not pet his head goodbye as a means to burning the bridges, as uncomfortable it was to think about and as sad it was for Eagle Sun who had no real position in all of this, Noa’s decision was always Eagle Sun’s and the Ape had to know this choice… Not even a choice. This demand that you leave was going to affect more than just Noa and yourself. This place… Your home for nearly a year, your belongings all fitting into one small bag…

The juxtaposition was clear, the more you thought about it, the more you thought about your Human aspects against their Ape adjacent aspects. You never should have stayed here, you should have never taken the sweetness of the offer that Noa gave. Temptation was a fault of Humans, more than evident now as you felt your heart skip a beat. You turned your back to the horse to get one more good look at what you were abandoning.

The sweeping towers of the clan, eclipsed with running vines up the sides and posts that elevated it high into the air, the lush green landscape peppered deliciously with wildflowers that grew to your mid-calf that surrounded the clan itself and gave it blissed paradise away from the rest of the valley, the rush of the river only a few meters away from the horse paddock, roaring back at you the intricate conversations that you and Noa shared, all shattered into small shards that you wanted to pick up, but with every attempt, it left your hands a bloody mess, and the more you tried to hold, the worse it got.

An hourglass where there was no sand anymore, having been heated by anger and aggression to the point where it was now an hourglass that was responsible for small slivers of glass encased memories. You wanted to look at them through rose-colored eyes, but it was impossible now with the remembrance of your words in conflict with Noa’s, to the point where words themselves no longer made sense as you had re-played them over and over again.

Your eyes lingered on the horizon for a few moments, the sun barely making its presence known along the twinkling dip of the Earth. It was on the cusp of dawn, the sky above you shifting to a mild pink with a richly deep undertone of midnight blue. You hadn’t slept at all the night before, but you let your fire die out on its own out of neglect. It felt good to do, to know that it was dying because you were choosing to not stroke it back to life, with every ember that flittered from orange to ashen, you felt a grotesque satisfaction wave over you. Death brought new beginnings, you whispered to yourself and squeezed your eyes shut but Death also meant the end to something. There was no point for slumber once Noa tore away from you, refusing to even look back as he took his leave from your hut.

You tried to keep your eyes focused and alert as you got the horse ready, as you went to the river to dip a cloth in it for your wrist, to reflect in solitude for only a moment as if the hours of your self-deprecation after Noa left wasn’t enough, as if the minutes it took you to shove things into your bag meant nothing anymore. Your feet felt heavy when making it to the embankment of the river itself, your shoulders torn inwards with equivocation.

The water bounced around your fingers as you dipped it into the shoreline, crisping against a smoothed pebble. Just one, small enough for you to tuck into the wrapped nature of your wrist bandage for safe keeping. You had no idea what to do with it, but you wanted something to remind you of the bitterness that began springing in you at the realization that nothing was sentimental to these Apes, nothing meant anything. Clenching your jaw at that, you steered your train of thought but found it still obsessing over Noa.

Not a goodbye, not a yearning action towards you anymore as if you were expecting a whole departure party. You were selfish, you tore into your own self as a means to dull the vague pained prospect that you were leaving everything you had wanted, and then more. Selfish to think that this could have worked, that months ago, you were willing to give it a chance once actual emotions began seeping into conversations with Noa. He never cared - you yelled inside, he never cared, and he was more selfish than you were trying to hold on even tighter. You figured it would be him who came out on top - he was built to hang, built to hold on. With one glance that meant more than any other, you began sweating, your hands slipping and you were no longer to hang or hold on anymore. Noa won.

Turning back around as you tried with meager desperations to remember the moments, the good and the bad, remember the kindness that you had received while here, along with the toppled glares of the Elders who were not happy at your presence at all, going as far as to convince Noa time and time ago to just let you loose… Bitterly, you smiled at that and brought your hand up to lightly brush the side of the horse. They were going to be so happy once the sun rose and you were no longer there, no longer a ticking-time threat.

You would miss the entire village, but this… Tightening your grip onto the saddle, you rose your body with a grunt and a small cry at the nature of your wrist bending in any position other than stagnantly flat, your knuckles flashed white at what happened the night before as you grabbed the reins and steadied your balance. Anger bubbled to the surface as you dropped your eyelids down to encase your vision with your wounded wrist, now tightly tied into a cloth that had been dipped in fresh and crisp river as a means to help the swelling go down.

As if you were any better, any less selfish, you thought to yourself and let your hands glide along the side of Noa’s horse to calm them down in your presence as you adjusted yourself on top of the saddle. You weren’t their owner, they were begging you to jump off and to just stay, and that’s all you wanted. To fall, even onto your knees and beg to stay. Fluttering your good wrist against the reins, you began trotting to the east, down the dirt pathway used by many Apes over the generations of Noa’s clan, now kissing you a farewell as Noa himself refused to even see you off.

Noa would tell Anaya and Soona what happened, you imagined and drew a deep breath in, holding it painfully long to the point where it felt like your lungs were going to explode. At least, he would tell them what they wanted to hear, you wondered for a split second just how much of a villain in all of this you were about to come but tried to shake that vicious thought out of your mind. There was no sense in thinking about that, you were never going to see them again.

You urged the horse forward and with a wild but tamed neigh, they began trotting away.

You turned your head, tears stinging at the back of your eyelids.

You could still see the clan in all its glory, tightening your hands onto the reins you contemplated going back a few times. Going back and apologizing and asking for forgiveness in hopes that you would be allowed to stay.

Not because you were selfish.

But because you couldn’t imagine yourself anywhere else, being anyone else.

It was home.

A few minutes later, you turned your head once you were in the embellishment of the woods, tears now encasing your entire cheeks, down the slope of your face and off your chin to drip onto your hands.

Just the tops of the tree-bungalows.

A few minutes later, you turned your head, reminding yourself that it wasn’t worth crying over. He didn't want you there anymore than you wanted to be there when you were first picked up by Noa, Anaya and Soona.

Nothing, just forested trees sweeping your vision from all sides, darkened and musky as the sun began rising in the direction you were headed. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Noa racked himself through the coals, holding onto his heart in the only way he knew how as he had watched you prepare to leave. Always, even after what happened, what you said to him and what he had done to you, he watched, waited, perhaps even hoped that you’d come to your senses first, as you always did, and come back to him. That you’d be able to rationalize it all and tell him why your departure was not a good idea, something outside of the self-absorbed realm of not wanting to die if you were out on your own.

It was surely one of those Echo things - Noa never understood it, the sudden surge of codependency you had towards each other, having only shifted a few months ago in the peak of the Summer months. You were the rational one, you kept yourself grounded and by proxy, you kept Noa there too. But now, there was nothing holding him down, nothing to grab onto as if your hand was still reaching for him in dead space.

The tree he chose to watch you from was far enough away that the darkened fur of his body was able to camouflage him, but it was close enough that he was able to see the scape of your face, the timid rise and fall of your shoulders, your scanning glance that was seeped around the edges with darkened circles and redness lingering around the creases of your eyelids. Noa felt bile hit the back of his throat, heaving his chest a bit more adamantly as to remind himself that your words had to be right. You hadn’t slept, by the looks of it and the appearance of your stance behind incredibly slumped in like you didn't have the energy to stand up straight.

He knew that you were aware of the bag of picked provisions he left for you, having gone there an hour prior to prepare the items and set the horse saddle on, something he knew you were incapable of doing with your Echo strength. How he wanted to chuckle at that, but he felt desolate inside when you simply looked into the bag, no evident reaction on your face other than your brows pulling in on themselves, before you continued on your way.

You spared it no more attention and mounted the horse with delicate ease. His green gaze stared at your wrist, embarked with white fabric that you had to tear one of your old shirts apart for. It tied neatly around your thumb, giving you the dexterity needed to grasp things but it was obvious how pained it was. He had done that, and all the times he had thought of hurting you in the graces of pleasure seemed to fade into oblivion in his open mind.

He would bite your neck and make you bleed, tearing at the tender spots until you were lifeless under him.

He would hold your body close to him and feel the shattering of every single one of your ribs before you slumped against his own self.

He would place his forehead against your own in a bid of apology and forgiveness and in the process, you would turn away, afraid to be touched, afraid to be near him.

Baited in self-deprecation once more, he watched you wordlessly set off into the woods, Eagle Sun soaring above your head in a bid to follow you until you were out of Eagle Clan territory. It would take you to the end of the day, Noa figured, factoring in small breaks he knew you were going to need on the back of the horse, and then… Eagle Sun would return to bid Noa news on your venture before he encased himself in loneliness and an astringent prospect that it would take no time at all to forget this. To forget Echo. To forget you.

“You’re just an animal.”

Maybe he was.

Noa felt himself flurring, in and out of a conscious state and without intending anymore damage as he had felt the delectation of your bones crunching under his strength, you had been dropped to the floor, on your side and made quite an impact to the point where Noa could sense the bruising already taking form on your hips and side, eradicating heat running through your ribs as you tried to breath, tried to hold yourself up and had a hard time relinquishing to the adrenaline that was coursing through you, a reaction to his subvertant aggression. It was going to dim, Noa knew that, and your wrist was going to become more distressed and dressed elegantly with sharpened purples, reds and blacks in an attempt to heal the unhealable.

Through pupil-blow eyes, he just looked at you and panted, the bristling of fur on his shoulders rolling through his entire being with a shuffle of electricity through his spine, his shackled feet stagnant but spaced in irritation, his shoulders broadened and intimidating. He liked it; the view of your tears. The struggle you went through as you tried to process what happened, holding onto the pressure point he so willingly took into his grasp, intentionally too tight, intentionally holding you up like a fish caught on a hook so he could look at the prize he once thought he had.

Noa could feel the scratch-marks you left on the side of his hand from where you had tried to get him to let you go, not deeply ingrained to bleed but shallow enough that it was a discomfort to the Ape. You were selfish, Noa thought to himself and narrowed his eyes. Selfish just like he was and you deserved what he did, just like he deserved your harsh words.

Noa expected more. Expected you to snap back at him, and realistically, he wanted you to. Tear him down just to piece him back together out of desperation once you realize what you were losing. Grab onto his shoulders, Noa begged, dig your fingernails into me, make me bleed, make me submit. You hurt me, I hurt you, so you should hurt me back! If I’m nothing more than an animal to you, then I’ll act like it. I hurt you, you hurt me, back and forth until one of us submits to the other. Irrationality never rested well with the Eagle Clan leader.

“I need to think of my Clan’s Future,” His words were torn, a fork in the road. Pragmatism wrestled with primal intent touched with optimism. “Was not when I asked… You to say…” His next set of words came out more biting than before, the pure flinch you radiated at the infliction was something Noa felt was going to be remembered for years to come, “When I w… wanted you to stay.”

Noa savored every bitter drop of it to the very end, at least until he left and was shattered and torn to the reality of what had just happened as you left his view, tangling yourself into the woods on his horse. He counted every trot of the horse. One foot, two, three, four until he was unable to see you anymore and he focused on hearing them instead. One, two, three… There was nothing more for him, nothing lingering in the air.

Your laugh. Noa drew a small breath in to torture himself with dissatisfaction of not entirely inflating his lungs, your smile… He’d forget them with time, but he didn't want to. Just like he had already forgotten his Father’s embrace, his voice on the very cusp of being lost to time, all of you… Will become distant, one year from now, two into three… He wondered then, what he would remember. Your scent would become one with the trees as a breeze rolled through the land, sweet and inviting him to sit blissed in reminiscent melancholy of what could have been. He wanted that.

Actually, if Noa were honest he wanted to chase after you. Mount Anaya’s horse, telling the Ape he’d be back shortly and run away in hopes that he’s able to track you, one of the many skills that Noa possessed to near perfection. There was no point - You’d never come back to him as if you were ever his to begin with, the Chimp scoffed at that. He was not inherently selfish but oh, how he wanted to be… Just for a few minutes to convince himself to get you to selfishly stay with him. He knew the idea was outlandish.

You couldn’t bear him an heir for the Eagle Clan’s longevity and he knew that but still, he’d be willing to risk it just to have you, just for the chance to know what it felt like, to know how it felt like to have your affection tossed towards him. Selfish. You were right. He was selfish. You were just an Echo to everyone else, they never saw, heard or felt you like he had… Every place you had touched him burned, soldering into his skin unbearable to the position that Noa wanted to scream. He was never going to experience that again.

Just like Noa himself, you were incredibly boar-headed in your decisions especially if they were made for you. You’d rather sit back and take it than try to come up with an argument against it because it was hard to do that when you didn't know all the details, all the feelings that were going into it. Noa made this. Noa demanded this decision be reality. Noa needed to think of Anaya… Soona… Dar… The entire Eagle Clan rested on his shoulders, he knew but there was nothing counting towards the agony that drenched over him when he thought about what was said the night before and what he had done to you. Looking down pensively at his hand, he collapsed his fingers into a fist and brought it harshly down onto the tree-branch he was sitting on.

He was sure he was going to forget as time was a funny thing.

But that was the thing… Noa… didn't want to.

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Three Months Later.

Grunting, you felt your back slam against the hard bark of a tree trunk that had to have been at least three feet behind you, your head whiplashing forward and then backwards once again, tweaking the tender muscles of your neck along with blunting the back of your head with the momentum. You weren’t bleeding, at least you were unable to feel any trinkles against the back of your head, but it hurt enough for your eyes to squeeze shut.

Gasping, nothing came to fruition from the pure force you had been pushed back with. Waves of stinging hit your senses and your ears felt like they were whistling at the highest pitch possible. Your horse sputtered to your left, tied to a low sitting tree-trunk for the night as you so often did to keep her from roaming too far during the nights. She stayed close, but with lacking skills at tracking, finding her in the mornings was a proven difficulty for you so you began tying her up a month or so ago.

Frantically in the heat of a hunt, you looked for something to protect yourself with. Something sharp? They were all in your satchel, the few spear heads that a certain Ape had provided for you. Something used more for fishing, but you wished you had one you knew as you could swipe at the figure that was talking to another, taking in stride their plans as you were left rather inebriated from being galvanized against a tree.

You tried again, to more success. You were able to breathe, the air seeping into your lungs feeling more heated as you staggered on your feet, trying to keep yourself balanced enough to address the situation, address whomever had chosen to attack in the middle of the night, your fire barely a crest of orange. From the bits and pieces you were able to recall, feeling a tinge of wetness coming from your ear with a mild curse as you had begun bleeding, confirming that you had hit your head that hard, you were attacked mid-sleep. Whoever this was, sitting in the darkness far enough away that you weren’t able to make out any details, waited until you were at your most vulnerable and then made their move.

Shakily, your hand connected with the side of your face and you wiped some of the blood away from trailing down the trace of your jawline. Unable to move, you focused your eyes on the figures. Three, maybe a fourth. Heart sinking into your chest, your eyes widened with realization. They had to be Apes, there was no other reason to attack you unless they had been stalking you the entire day and chose to attack you when it was going to be the easiest to kill you.

These ones had to be sadistic, pushing you against a tree and watching as you cowered, eyes falling between your satchel on the horse's back, their blackened figures and the dim nature of your fire. They hadn’t allowed themselves the pure satisfaction of gutting you alive and then tying you to the backs of their stallions to display that they were able to successfully hunt a Human. Maybe they were waiting until---

A wall of blood hit your tongue. You must have bitten down on it when you were tossed like a rag doll. Spitting out a bit onto the ground, the figures all looked at you before resuming their mild conversation. Whatever they were saying, you were unable to detect as you dropped onto your knees. Slowly at first, and then faster as you quite literally hurled yourself up, hoping that you were able to get a bit more momentum from a crouched position, start and darted aimlessly towards your horse. You just needed a weapon, something, something.

Your ribs were encased by an arm, but before you got a clearer view at it, you were parallel to the ground and swiped down aggressively, back colliding into the mud with a crunched sound of your body and the mud splattering. Once again, not hard enough to break anything, but it left you breathless as you grimaced, your ribs encapsulating in agony as you drew to breath in again. A gurgle hit the back of your throat, a mixture of your saliva and blood, eyes going in and and out of focus no matter how hard you tried to entrance yourself to stay altered on one fixated item.

“Are you sure this is the one?”

Squinting your eyes at the sky, you forced yourself to take note of the voice. Was it… Scratchy? Chopped around the words as if they were unsure of the pronunciation. Tilting your head to the side, you found yourself with a mouth full of mud as you looked over at the figure who had slowed and stopped your attempt at defending yourself.

“Where else did they get a horse like this? It’s obviously been trained!”

Another voice. Softer, but still hardened around the edges with ferality.

Definitely Ape, you decided and shut your eyes for a split second as you willed your body not to fail you as you turned to rest onto your stomach, picking yourself up onto your hands and knees, the saliva and blood mixture leaking onto the ground from your open mouth now unable to close properly from mild swelling.

Your… Your satchel! One of them was holding it against their chest and in their arms, your mind flashing back to the moment that Noa had given it to you. The brushing of your fingertips against his own as he handed it over, the reserve he held as you analyzed it and thanked him… Well, if you were going to get killed by a few blood-thirsty Apes, at least you had the satisfaction of that being your last good thought, you muttered sarcastically to yourself. It was torn apart, the curdled nature of your cry mixing into the tearing captivating their attention back to you rather than drawing on about the spearheads and the small pieces of dried fish you had managed to ration over the last three months.

Being picked up by a handful of your hair, your eyes braced shut in preparation of coming face to face with the Apes sent to kill you. Wanting to bitterly thank them for taking you out of your misery, you refrained from making a snappy comment and felt your scalp begin to burn as you were lifted enough to be face to face with whomever was grasping at you. Your mouth parted, lips conforming into a low setting frown as you cried out again, reaching your hand up in some desperate attempt to get them to stop holding you by your hair, to get them to drop you. You were pleading to be dropped back onto the ground as your eyes frantically opened so you could meet your demise.

Human. The eyes were human, even for an Ape. If you had the time to think about it, that was true for all Apes. Their most Human aspect was always the eyes, the gateway to the soul, the shattering of gazes against your face. They had to be green, they were always green, you bargained with yourself. The blurred edges of your vision and periphery were not helping your cause as your eyes shut again, sweeping away the notion of tears as sweat now dropped into your retinas causing you to see red and engage in a fiery sensation against your pupils.

This was it, you thought to yourself. You were… You were going to join your friends who had died a year prior, you were going to have to beg their forgiveness for not being able to save them, you were going to have to come to terms with everything that had happened, all the selfishness you had taken for yourself. Gasping again, you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes, suddenly flushed with the known. They were going to kill you and you didn't want to see their face, you didn't want to give them the pure undiluted satisfaction of seeing your eyes, the reflection of their actions in them as they cut your throat open. Noa!

Noa… You straggled your feet below your body once you were lifted completely off the ground by your hair, aiding in the hurt by holding onto their wrists so all the pressures of your body weren’t just hanging on by the grasp they had on your scalp. Noa wasn’t going to know what happened to you. Not that it mattered anymore, not that he cared as he was the one who let you leave, he was the one to do this to you!!

Your mind was going a thousand miles an hour, you weren’t able to focus on one simple thing anymore. Noa did this to you, he… He wanted you to die, just an Echo, afraid, alone… Tears fell from under your eyelids, draping your face into a muddy piece of art as the streaks of salty water scarred down your cheeks. But you couldn’t stop yourself. The idea still remained. You… You wanted him to be happy. You wanted him to… be… happy….You wished… that he would find someone, someone better than you, someone selfless and not self-absorbed.

“You need to tell us where your little Ape town is,” Your breath caught in your throat and you were suddenly placed back on the ground, this time on your knees. The release of your hair didn't come, but the sweet relief of pitch-black death also didn't take over. “And we might just spare your life.”

Human.

“We’ve been watching you,” There was suddenly a sharpness against your jugular. Knife. Human. “We know you came from that direction. Sorta… Hoped you’d turn back and go home, but you never did. Did the Apes not like their pet?”

‘I’m surprised they didn't just kill it.’ That was accompanied by a few cackles, your lips furling into a snarl at the implications.

Swallowing hard against the blade, you felt it scapple in just enough to cause a bit of prickled blood to surface under the touch. “Let me go.” Straining that out, you found your voice unrecognizable. It was gruff, you couldn’t really remember the last time you had said something other than a passing phrase to your only companion, your horse. Finally, you let your eyes open and you could see who had their hands on you.

“We really didn't want to hurt you.” It was a male. Dominating and strong in stature, his voice dripping with malice and draped deliciously with unbridled possessiveness. He was dark haired and they were set into dreads and tied up loosely with twine - the easiest way to deal with hair now-a-days when washing was so far and in-between.

His eyes… It had to have been your imagination seeing them green because now, even in the dim lighting coming from your dying fire and the scape of stars and crested moon, they were nothing but black. Drawn around the edges to the point of blown out dilation and they scavenged your face, preening at the cuts along your cheekbones, the blistering welt on your lips and the shell of your ear, painted red. “You know, humans are too rare now-a-days, it’d be a shame to kill such a pretty one.”

Yapping once your hair was released, you crumpled onto the ground, back onto all fours as you began taking in deep and shallow breaths. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think, process, REMEMBER the last time you had actually seen a Human, let alone four. Groups were common, you knew that, you had been a part of one and they tended to stick to larger quantities.

There was safety in numbers, you were told time and time again. Your friends--- your… Your friends had been the last ones, their voices so torn and in the distance of your mind that you found it difficult to recall at all how they must have sounded, but you missed their voices regardless. Grasping the ground below with dirty fingers, your eyes widened with realization as his words finally resonated in his mind.

They were… after the Clan. They wanted to know where the Clan was, most likely to destroy. You scrambled on all fours, trying to tear yourself away from the man in front of you, but before you were able to get very far, your calf, the one that had been tenderly cared for by Noa himself, was dug into, your flesh screaming at you as the knife came into contact with the scar that was already there from your Ape attack.

Right through the fabric of your pants, you looked down shudderingly at the jilted weapon embedded in your body. Crying out as the man grasped right below the knife entry point, he tugged you back towards him and ardently flipped you into your back so he could crouch right next to it, staring down at you without remorse or even recourse to any of his actions against the same species. There were stories of Human groups like this - the most radical minds seeking power over the Apes by forms of aggression. You grew up hearing about them, hearing about the Ape Villages and Colonies being torn to shreds with fire and pillage.

You had just assumed it was a way to scare you as a child, to never fall into that mindset. Apes were to be feared, and they would kill you if you killed one of them. There was no way that Humanity would fall that far… That they were willing to take the Earth back by matters of War. Three-hundred years had done nothing, you yearned your hands out in a bid to grab something to stop yourself from fluttering in and out of lucidity. Without words, the knife in your calf twisted to the right, seeping a bit deeper towards the hilt and then to the left, back upwards. Terror ripped through you at the penetration, your shouts being heard and absorbed happily. “Just tell us where it is and we’ll leave you alone.”

A repeated phrase you imagined he said often. You rested your head back, gritting your teeth, “I-I… Do-Don’t know what the hell you’re---”

In one foul swoop, the knife left your body before entering again, this time on the adjacent calf. As your scar had been slightly numb to feeling and felt incredibly pressurized at being cut open again and you were able to bear the brute force of it, this one left your entire body to convulse against the muddy ground, your hands flying upwards to grab the man’s hand to stop the injury, your eyes pressing into each other as your teeth bared themselves and you let out a drilling and agonistic howl.

Your body lifted itself up in a crunch before you splayed back onto the ground and tired to tear away, even going as far as thinking that if you were fast enough to move your leg, you could shatter your entire calf open to get relief from the torture of being stabbed.

“Be better if you just showed us.” He ampled his touch against the knife. “Or, I guess we could just spank your horse and they’ll take us right where we need to go.” His words were confirmation for you. This… Thing in front of you enjoyed the chase, enjoyed the torture. He was so easily able to just get the horse to take him where he wanted to go but you were being beaten instead, unable to relinquish any information and that just made the thrill all the more high for him.

“No!” You whimpered, lifting your body up but the man pressed onto your shoulders with hardness and you were unable to actually sit. “I-I don’t know wha-what you’re talking about, I’m just tra-traveling on my own!”

There was no point in lying but it felt good to say as if you were protecting the Clan itself. Demise was coming, for you, for them… Tears flushed into your eyes at that. The Clan, so beautiful and encased in your memory… In flames, your hands grasping at the ashes and tearing them against your face in a desperate bid to save them. Noa… Noa… He'd hate you, even more than he already did. All his suspicions about you would become valid in his eyes. The fear he had to trust you justified as Humans remarked into his village and destroyed everything he had sorely fought for after his Father passed.

He'd hate you.

Noa would hate you, probably for the rest of his life.

Lips parting as you tried to gasp for some air, you thought... How much you hated yourself.

“Y-you may as well just kill me.” You grunted finally, ashamed of the indication that your words gave. You knew the way back to the Clan, you hadn’t left the area, unable to grasp a concept at leaving what you had known for so long, even before you were offered refuge. Realizing now, you had made a mistake. You should have mounted the horse and trailed off into the unknown. You shouldn’t have been scared, you shouldn’t have been afraid but a smaller part of you stayed in hopes that he’d… He’d…

A coughed cry left your lips as you felt like you were drowning on your own spit. You stayed nearby because you wanted Noa to come for you. In your delusions, he always came for you. Even the first time, even when you didn't know each other and you were so convinced that he was going to kill you. Even now.

Your eyes looked at the man in front of you once more and out of the corner of your eye you swore you saw the fluttering nature of an Eagle perched in the trees of darkness. That close to death, you thought morbidly, that you were seeing things.

It wasn’t the Apes, you realized with momentous waves of sickness flooding all your senses. From the way that your eyes blurred, the way that your fingers and toes felt numb like they weren’t getting enough blood flow, your hearing was shot from the impact your head took against the tree…

It wasn’t the Apes you needed to be afraid of. It was Man.

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