#Apache County

[travelella]

Canyon de Chelly National Monument, Apache County, Arizona, USA

Landon Parenteau

[xenonreality]

My votes in the upcoming election from Apache county Arizona

[thechembow]

Working for Rain on the Edges of Thunderstorms

July 24, 2024

There has been a chance of thunderstorms the past couple of days, but they have been in other places. The monsoon is expanding and more of Southern California is included. The Sierras are getting regular afternoon monsoon storms and the eastern deserts are also getting sporadic heavy thunderstorms.

We are working on amping up the OR from here with our medicine wheels and chembuster. We are pretty far west, but the systems are strengthening, and we also have some gifting plans for a few places in Southern California that have not received the treatment. They are more obscure roads, but sure to have some ungifted towers and could really help bridge the gap between the major cities that we've gifted, in this case LA, San Diego, Phoenix, and Las Vegas.

The Four Corners States are off the hook with rain this week. All these places are heavily gifted to assist the monsoon. Wildfire season is non-existent there, and even here in California, acres burned are only at 286,925.

To the west this evening, it looked like there was fire smoke, but the only fire in that direction was the Apache Fire, which started yesterday. having burned a reported 1500 acres by this evening. It's strange that we only first saw smoke tonight. What we were seeing could also be DOR, and after sunset, one lone trail could be seen in the patch.

[pilgrim1975]

Earl Gardner, last to hang in Arizona.

Arizona, long a part of the old and wild West, has a somewhat chequered history for both law-breaking and law-enforcement. Home to Tombstone, the OK Corral, Bisbee, Prescott and a few other Wild West landmarks, it immeditely conjures images of rattlesnakes, arid deserts, epic shoot-outs and outlaws twisting at the end of a rope. Earl Gardner was no Old West outlaw, but he was the last oportunity…

[autotrails]

American Auto Trail-Postal Highway/Ozark Trail (Sayre to Mangum OK)

American Auto Trail-Postal Highway/Ozark Trail (Sayre to Mangum OK) https://youtu.be/B54UQWAJKY0 This American auto trail travels from Sayre to Mangum in southwestern Oklahoma along portions of the Postal Highway and Ozark Trail auto trails.

[mutant-distraction]

Rob Little

Petrified Forest National Park is an American national park located in Navajo and Apache counties in northeastern Arizona. Named for its large deposits of petrified wood, the park covers about 346 square miles (900 km2), and includes semi-desert shrub-steppe as well as highly eroded and colorful badlands. The park's headquarters is located about 26 miles (42 km) east of Holbrook along Interstate 40 (I-40), which parallels the South Transcon Line. The site, the northern portion of which extends into the Painted Desert, was declared a national monument in 1906 and a national park in 1962. The park has an average elevation of about 5,400 feet (1,600 m), and has a dry, windy climate with temperatures ranging from In the summer it is about 100°F (38°C) to winter lows well below freezing. The park has more than 400 species of plants, dominated by grasses such as punchweed, blue grama, and sacaton. Animals include larger animals such as pronghorn, coyotes, and lynx; many small animals, such as deer, mice, snakes, lizards and seven species of amphibians; And more than 200 species of birds, some of which are permanent residents and many of which are migratory. About one-third of the park is designated wilderness—50,260 acres (79 sq mi; 203 km2)—

The Petrified Forest is famous for its fossils, especially deciduous trees that lived in the Late Triassic, about 225 million years ago. The deposits containing the fossil trunks are part of the colorful and widespread Chinle Formation, from which the Painted Desert gets its name. Beginning about 60 million years ago, the Colorado Plateau, of which the park is a part, was pushed upward by tectonic forces and subjected to further erosion. All of the park's rock layers above the Chinle River, except for younger geological strata in parts of the park, have been removed by wind and water. In addition to fossilized tree trunks, fossils found in the park included Late Triassic ferns, cycads, ginkgos, and many other plants as well as animals including giant reptiles called phytosaurs, large amphibians, and early dinosaurs. Paleontologists have discovered and studied the park's fossils since the early 1900s.

[darkeagleruins]

OPEN BORDER: Why are Arizona Democrats fighting in federal court to be permitted to leave illegal aliens and non-citizens on voter rolls? Can there be any other reason than fraud?

Today, America First Legal filed an amended lawsuit against all 15 counties in Arizona—Apache, Cochise, Coconino, Gila, Graham, Greenlee, La Paz, Maricopa, Mohave, Navajo, Pima, Pinal, Santa Cruz, Yavapai, and Yuma—for failing to remove foreign citizens from their voter rolls.

Back on July 16, AFL sent letters to election officials in each county, reminding them of their legal obligation to ensure that only American citizens are allowed to vote.

They warned that failure to act would result in legal action, and today, AFL is holding them accountable. In August, AFL initially sued Maricopa County on behalf of EZAZ and Yvonne Cahill, a naturalized citizen and registered voter, for blatantly refusing to follow state laws requiring monthly voter list maintenance to remove foreign citizens. In a typical move, Maricopa County tried to shift the case to federal court, delaying the process.

But their efforts backfired—federal court rules allow AFL to sue all 15 counties at once, ensuring no county can avoid its responsibility.

Now that the case is in federal court, AFL has added the remaining 14 counties to ensure that every county in Arizona is forced to comply with the law.

Their work is essential in preventing illegal voting and securing the integrity of our elections, and I fully support their efforts.

[vintagelasvegas]

Fremont St, Las Vegas, c. December 1941

Fremont & 4th in the foreground, Main St at the top of the frame.

Remaining buildings in the 2020s are Sal Sagev Hotel (Golden Gate), Apache Hotel (Binion's Gambling Hall), the Boggs bldg. (319 Fremont) and the former El Portal Theatre (310 Fremont). The last private residence on Fremont was the Coughlin house, demolished in '60. The Beckley house was relocated to Clark County Museum in the 80s.

The photo from Clark County Museum is dated by Christmas decorations on the street and the sign for Western Casino (opened summer '41, closed in '42) on the ground floor of Apache Hotel.

The detailed view below is from another copy of the photo #0001_0037, Ferron and Bracken Photograph Collection (PH-00001), UNLV Special Collections.

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - September 1-7

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my new(ly repurposed) Patreon!

1. Rescue Dog Who Helped Raise Dozens of Foster Puppies Finds Forever Home

“Three and a half years ago, Noel arrived at Lucky Dog as a pregnant pooch pulled from [an] animal control shelter. […] Once the puppies were old enough to start life on their own, Lucky Dog found homes for all of them. […] Noel was an "amazing mom" to over two dozen foster puppies while staying at [a foster] house.”

2. Radiant cooling device uses significantly less energy than traditional air conditioning

“Testing of the device […] showed the cooling device capable of cooling the skin by approximately 7.3°C. It also showed that it consumed 50.4% less energy than an average air-conditioner of comparable ability. The research team notes that the device can also be run in reverse, to serve as a radiant heater.”

3. How a Native elections official is breaking down voting barriers in Arizona

“Gabriella Cázares-Kelly, Pima County Recorder, [… ran for office in 2020] to represent people who were being ignored by the democratic system and denied the right to vote. […] “People started getting the voter registration cards back, getting their voter IDs in the mail, and they were so excited to show me or thank me for helping them register,” she said.”

4. Scientists are growing [coral] babies in a lab to save animals from extinction

“Each August, corals in Florida release their eggs and sperm into the water[, … but “they] can’t reproduce on their own anymore.” [So, researchers are] collecting and freezing the spawn and growing them into genetically diverse baby corals that can be replanted into the wild[….] These resilient corals could pass important adaptations to their babies[….]”

5. New Legislation Will Accelerate Offshore Wind Energy in Delaware

““The responsible development of offshore wind and the transition to renewable energy is essential for the protection of wildlife, habitats, and communities from the havoc of climate change[….]” “This legislation is the product of careful consideration and input from multiple state agencies, industry experts, energy researchers and environmental advocates[….]””

6. Removal of Apache Trout from Endangered Species List Due to Collaborative Conservation Efforts

“[A]fter more than five decades of recovery efforts by federal, state and Tribal partners, […] the restoration of Arizona’s state fish marks the first […] trout delisted due to recovery, a significant conservation success[….] The Apache trout is found exclusively in streams of the White Mountains in the eastern part of Arizona […] and is sacred to the White Mountain Apache Tribe.”

7. [Texas] State court rules Austin must release files on police complaint

“Under the act, records of any complaint – even if no disciplinary action was taken – must be handed over to the civilian-led Office of Police Oversight. [… T]he ruling ushers in a new level of oversight of the complaint process and the department writ-large.”

8. Super-rare hairy-nosed wombat caught waddling through a woodland in Australia

“Ecologists at Australian Wildlife Conservancy (AWC) say the video footage provides exciting evidence wombats are breeding in the refuge again. […] There are only 400 of them in the world, making them rarer than the giant panda and the Sumatran tiger. […] “Although this isn’t the first joey born at the refuge, it is the first juvenile spotted for a few years.””

9. The country’s biggest electric school-bus fleet will also feed the grid

“[The] country’s first all-electric school-bus fleet[,…] which serve the district’s special-needs students, […] can charge with low-cost power and discharge spare capacity at times of grid stress[…. V]ehicle-to-grid charging is something for which electric school buses are particularly well suited.”

10. The Push to Save Horseshoe Crabs Is Gaining Momentum

“Conservationists hope new restrictions on harvesting and synthetic alternatives to a crab-blood compound used in biomedical testing can turn the tide for the ancient arthropods, whose eggs are a vital food source for Red Knots [threatened migratory birds]. […] Now conservationists are in the thick of a multi-pronged push to save both species.”

August 22-28 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

November 29, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Nov 30, 2024

In 2008, Congress passed and President George W. Bush signed into law an act making the day after Thanksgiving National Native American Heritage Day.

About a month ago, on Friday, October 25, President Joe Biden became the first president to visit Indian Country in ten years when he traveled to the Gila River Indian Community in Maricopa County, Arizona, near Phoenix. Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland traveled with him. The trip was designed to highlight the investments the Biden-Harris administration has made in Tribal Nations.

At a press gaggle on Air Force One on the way to Arizona, White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre noted that under Biden, Tribal Nations have seen the largest direct federal investment in history: $32 billion from the American Rescue Plan and $13 billion through the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law to build roads and bridges, bring clean water and sanitation, and build high-speed Internet in Tribal communities.

Jean-Pierre added that First Lady Jill Biden has also championed Native communities, visiting them ten times to highlight investments in youth mental health, the revitalization of Native languages, and to improve access to cancer screening and cancer care in Native communities.

Secretary Haaland, herself a member of the Pueblo of Laguna, agreed that the Biden-Harris administration has brought “transformational change” to Native communities: “electricity on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona for homes that have never had electricity; protecting cultural resources, like salmon, which Pacific Northwest Tribes have depended on for thousands of years; new transportation infrastructure for the Mescalero Apache Nation in New Mexico that will provide a safer travel route and boost their economic development, their local economy; addressing toxic legacy pollution and abandoned oil and gas infrastructure that pollutes our air and water for the Osage Nation in Oklahoma; providing clean drinking water for Fort Peck in Montana.”

“Tribal leaders are experiencing a new era,” Haaland added. “They’re at the table. They’re being consulted.”

When Biden spoke at the Gila Crossing Community School, he said he was there “to right a wrong, to chart a new path toward a better future for us all.” As president of the United States, Biden formally apologized to the Native peoples—Native Americans, Native Hawaiians, Native Alaskans—for the U.S. government policy that forced Native children into federal Indian boarding schools.

The apology comes after the release of an Interior Department study, The Federal Boarding School Initiative, that Secretary Haaland directed the department to undertake in 2021. According to Assistant Secretary of the Interior Bryan Newland, a citizen and former president of the Bay Mills Indian Community (Ojibwe), the initiative was “a comprehensive effort to recognize the troubled legacy of Federal Indian boarding school policies with the goal of addressing their intergenerational impact and to shed light on the traumas of the past.”

The initiative set out to identify federal Indian boarding schools and sites, to identify the children who attended those schools and to identify their Tribal identities, to find marked and unmarked burial sites of the remains of Indian children near school facilities, and to incorporate the viewpoints of those who attended federal Indian boarding schools and their descendants into the story of those schools.

The report looked at the Indian education system from 1819 to 1969 as a whole, bringing together federal funding for religious schools in the early 1800s with later explicitly federal schools and their public school successors during and after the 1930s. But historians generally focus on the period from 1879 to the 1930s as the boarding school era.

In 1879, the government opened the Carlisle Indian Industrial School, a boarding school for American Indian children in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, explicitly designed to separate children from their families and their culture and to train them for menial jobs.

The boarding school era was the brainchild of Army officer Richard Henry Pratt, a Civil War veteran who, in the years after the war, commanded the 10th United States Cavalry, a Black regiment stationed in the American West whose members Indigenous Americans nicknamed the “Buffalo Soldiers.” Pratt fought in the campaigns on the Plains from 1868 through 1875, when he was assigned to oversee 72 Cheyenne, Kiowa, Comanche, Arapaho, and Caddo prisoners of war at Fort Marion in St. Augustine, Florida (now known as the Castillo de San Marcos National Monument).

Many Indigenous prisoners at Fort Marion, taken from the dry Plains to the hot and humid coast of Florida where they were imprisoned in a cramped stone fort, quickly sickened and died. Pratt worked to upgrade conditions and to assimilate prisoners into U.S. systems by teaching them English, U.S. culture, Christianity, and how the American economy worked. He cut their hair, dressed them in military-type uniforms, and urged them to make art for sale to local tourists—it’s from here we get the world-famous collection of ledger art by the artists of Fort Marion—but focused on turning the former warriors and their families into menial workers.

After the Battle of the Little Bighorn in 1876 and the subsequent pursuit and surrender of leading Lakota bands throughout that year and the next, leading to the murder of Crazy Horse in 1877, popular opinion ran heavily toward simply corralling Indigenous Americans on reservations and waiting either for their assimilation or extermination. At the same time, with what seemed to be the end of the most serious of the Plains Wars, Army officers like Pratt had reason to worry that the downsizing of the U.S. Army would mean the end of their careers.

Indigenous survivors of Fort Marion returned home to see that the American government had no real plans for a thriving American Indian populace. There was little infrastructure to link them to the rest of the country to sell their art, and Indian agents rejected tribal members for jobs in favor of white cronies.

But Pratt considered his experiment at Fort Marion a great success, and he came to believe he could make his system work even more thoroughly by using a loophole in the treaties between Plains Tribes and the U.S. government to force Indigenous Americans to assimilate as children. He planned, he said, to “Kill the Indian and save the man.”

Treaties between Plains Indian Tribes and the government required the U.S. government to educate American Indian children—something their parents cared deeply about—but the treaties didn’t actually specify where the schools would be. So Pratt convinced the U.S. Army and officials at the Interior Department to give him the use of the Carlisle Barracks to open an industrial school, designed to teach American Indian children the skills necessary to be servants and menial workers.

In summer 1879, Pratt traveled to western reservations of the Lakotas and Dakotas, primarily, to gather up 82 children to begin his experiment in annihilating their culture from their minds. He forbade the practice of any aspect of Indigenous culture—language, religion, custom, clothing—and forced children to change their names, use English, practice Christianity, and wear clothing that mirrored that of Euro-American children.

Crowded together, many children died of disease; bereft of their family and culture, many died of heartache. Some found their newfound language and lessons tolerable, others ran away. For the next fifty years, the Carlisle model was the central model of government education for Indigenous children, with tens of thousands of children educated according to its methods.

In the 1920s the Institute for Government Research, later renamed the Brookings Institution, commissioned a study funded by the Rockefeller Institute—to make sure it would not reflect government bias—to investigate conditions among Indigenous Americans.

In 1928 that study, called the Meriam Report, condemned the conditions under which American Indians lived. It also emphasized the “deplorable health conditions” at the boarding schools, condemned the schools’ inappropriate focus on menial skills, and asserted that “[t]he most fundamental need in Indian education is a change in point of view.” In 1934 the Indian Reorganization Act reversed the policy of trying to eradicate Tribal cultures through boarding children away from their families, and introduced the teaching of Indian history and culture in federal schools.

But the boarding schools remain a central part of the experience of American Indians since the establishment of the U.S. government in North America, and the Federal Boarding School Initiative recommended that “[t]he U.S. Government should issue a formal acknowledgment of its role in adopting a national policy of forced assimilation of Indian children, and carrying out this policy through the removal and confinement of Indian children from their families and Indian Tribes and the Native Hawaiian Community and placement in the Federal Indian boarding school system.”

It continued: "The United States should accompany this acknowledgment with a formal apology to the individuals, families, and Indian Tribes that were harmed by U.S. policy."

On October 25, 2024, President Joe Biden delivered that apology.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[theninjanavigator]

"The Window" - Canyon de Chelly National Monument - Apache County - Arizona

[herpsandbirds]

Apache Skippers (Hesperia woodgatei), family Hesperiidae, Yavapai county, Arizona, USA

photograph by Peter DeGennaro

[zspin]

-Rob Little   Petrified Forest National Park is an American national park located in Navajo and Apache counties in northeastern Arizona.

[thelostcanyon]

Morning near the Superstition Mountains outside Apache Junction, Pinal County, Arizona.

[nmnomad]

Silver City was established in the 1870s, after the discovery of silver at Chloride Flat. The founder, Captain Bullard, didn't live to see the tent city evolve. He was killed in an altercation with Apache in 1871. As a railway hub for the extracted ore, Silver City quickly became a boom town.

Silver City was established in the 1870s, after the discovery of silver at Chloride Flat. The founder, Captain Bullard, didn't live to see the tent city evolve. He was killed in an altercation with the Apache in 1871. As a railway hub for the extracted ore, Silver City quickly became a boom town.

From Wikipedia: "The town's violent crime rate was substantial during the 1870s. However, Grant County Sheriff Harvey Whitehill was elected in 1874, and gained a sizable reputation for his abilities at controlling trouble. In 1875, Whitehill became the first lawman to arrest Billy the Kid, known at the time under the alias of Henry Antrim. Whitehill arrested him twice, both times for theft in Silver City (Sheriff Whitehill testified to the Justice of the Peace that he believed Henry Antrim did not do the actual stealing the second time arrested, but assisted in the hiding of the property stolen by Sombrero Jack. Whitehill would later claim that the young man was a likeable kid, whose stealing was a result more of necessity than criminality. His mother is buried in the town cemetery. In 1878, the town hired its first town marshal, "Dangerous Dan" Tucker, who had been working as a deputy for Whitehill since 1875. Butch Cassidy and his Wild Bunch were also reported to frequent the Silver City saloons in the late 1800s."

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2023 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED

All lines are from this video created by TheRussianBadger.

"I ACTUALLY EARNED ONE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"Those noises that were coming out of you were inhuman."

"You ever had a hotdog burger before?"

"You did NOT just come up with that word."

"I need to know if this was a riff or if this was an actual meal."

"I heard the word 'hotdurger' unprovoked."

"Dudes with nut allergies when I hit them in the head with a brick."

"YOU DIDN'T JUJU ON THE FUCKIN' BEAT."

"I don't misinform. I just lie."

"Did you just punch someone for all their coins?"

"I don't know, just blow 'em all up, I don't care."

"I just fucken hate you."

"STOP BLINDING ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T SEE, YOU GOBLIN!"

"To the charge of wire fraud, you are pleading 'nuh-uh'?"

"Your honor, shut the fuck up. You wasn't even there."

"This conversation sounds like four raccoons with internet access."

"You wanna know how I got these GAINS?"

"I was driving through upstate New York and I saw a Tesla with the license plate 'I'M HIM'."

"That license plate made me laugh so hard that I walked up to his window and put a 12-gauge slug in his chest."

"You got me fucked up bro, I can't believe you would question if I'm real."

"Here's a picture of my nuts."

"Those are gonna be my dying words to my wife: I just want you to know… PS3 has no games."

"Chimichangas are a CIA psyop."

"If you put me in the cockpit of an apache I will Kevin Gates, put my hand on the dashboard, and start it."

"Boy I love having something with none of the same consistency as anything else in my sandwich in my sandwich."

"Dude I definitely love biting into my sandwich and then leaving with an entire pickle slice in my mouth."

"Own a musket for home defense since that's what the founding fathers intended."

"I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. Tally ho, lads!"

"Well it's just straight up racism, and it's not even like an occasional racism, it's like, this is full blast firehose racism."

"It's the floodgate of racism! The Big Gulp of racism!"

"This shit will turn your pacemaker off."

"I point blanked that shit with a panzerfaust."

"Me going to Arby's after losing a $50,000 Marvel vs Capcom tournament."

"Me walking to the fridge to get my five day old caesar salad."

"Fresh caesar salad, already not a good start. Five days, dog."

"How does that predator missile work? Oh, you just go NYOOOOOOM."

"This Nyquil beatin' my ass, that is not THAT funny but, like, I can't stop laughing!"

"Y'all just verbally buzzered that man."

"I stole your girl, I stole your whip, I stole your shoes."

"You cannot land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"As someone who lives in Tennessee, you can land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"That's how I'm going to describe the size of our parking lots to Europeans without internet connections. We can land that in our parking lots."

"I call that my main menu tax."

"Bro, I can't hail a cab in Detroit for shit, bro."

"First bullet, Toyota Tacoma be like 'I ain't hear NOTHING. Y'all hear something?' Second bullet? Legalize nuclear bombs."

"Your voice literally has to wait in line to be heard."

"I'm gonna bomb your trailer park."

"Don't take advice from the dead guys."

"Smoking on that diabolical arch-necromancer pack. Those who don't ball would do well to steer clear."

"Do you know the word 'whermst'?"

"It's like where and for what purpose and why. Location, reason, background context in one word: Whermst."

"Did he just prefire me? Bro, go to jail."

"That's your first option for recourse?"

"Alcatraz, we ain't talking county jail. You're getting in there with the dementors."

"Stop calling the 3D avatar mommy."

"How do they fit this many flares in an airplane? It makes no sense. It's like a clown car but for fireworks."

"I'M SCREAMING ABOUT IT MOTHERFUCKER, STOP!"

"Hey what's up guys? I just bought a 1911 at a Red Lobster parking lot, AMA."

"Just kill me. Just take me to heaven. Just… Take me out of this reality."

"Heaven? BITCH, YOU GOING TO HELL!"

"Hey, fuckin' imagine getting friendly fired by a .50 BMG. Imagine."

"My client pleads oopsie-daisy."

"I'm sorry that your dog is not going to college now."

"Ay you ain't on your grind, son. You ain't on your bag."

"No one's Batman impression is bad."

"You sound like you're in an alley with a trench coat, what the fuck?"

"Oh my God, his Scooby-Doo villain is coming out again."

"Are you repairing our conversation?"

"Why is 'slime' such a funny yet affectionate nickname?"

"Get the fuck out of our shower."

"Why can't we just share the shower?"

"Enemy. Man. 300 meters. North. Fast. Fast. Fast."

"Fun fact: The TSA allows you to bring a live lobster through security."

"I myself have brought 432 lobsters through security."

"THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE SHOT ME!"

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WHERE MY BULLETS ARE!"

"All units, be advised: My stummy hurt."

"Homie got the dog in him with that one."

"Pulled pork? Yeah I cranked my hog today too."

"How blessed are we that I can just log on to YouTube and the first video I see is 'Master Chief teaches you how to change the oil on your 2006 Nissan Murano'?"

"That went from 'funny' to 'demonitized'."

"If your state has 90 degree corners, you probably eat corn syrup on your pancakes."

"Why do you always say 'theoretically' and it's not at all theoretical?"

"You have the world's WORST EVERYTHING."

"My boy got the object permanence of a frog."

"That boy cooked the most rare steak."

"I gotta use the bathroom or something, bro. I gotta go to college or something. I can't be with these motherfuckers."

"He went behind the tree and my brain was like 'WHERE'D HE GO?'"

"Somebody buy me a stat reset, PLEASE!"

"You should not be legally allowed to commit crimes if you're listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"I'm on my Super Mario Sunshine shit."

"Are you barking at me?"

"You might wanna be a LITTLE shidded right now."

"I'd trust Gengar with my kid."

"I didn't know he was chill like that."

"No. We are not putting a controller around somebody's neck and twisting it. It's a wireless controller, you can't even do that."

"And 45 is just a caliber."

"Ranch was made by California to keep the Midwest fat because they're scared of our power."

"I refuse to believe that Kranch is real."

"Alignment charts are for the governable. I grow corn in my yard."

"Tell me the name of God you fungal piece of shit."

"I'm pretty sure that was the most sacrilegious shit I've heard in my life."

"I will pass that to the higher ups – parentheses: I do not give a shit."

"This is getting a little too fast for my brain."

"You fuckers are at a pie eating contest and I'm just like, nah son. Free pie."

"I'm about to hit 'em with the Glock-no-jutsu, on God, bro."

"Regretting a free purchase is crazy."

"THEY'RE JUST POLYGONS!"

"I've had people call me things that I wouldn't even dare say to myself."

"Take five 5-Hour Energies and enter the forbidden hour of the day."

"Those responses do not surprise me at all. I definitely expected that kind of language."

"Bro, it's goof-a-clock right now."

"The moon already isn't real."

"You think I can't kill a fuckin' banana?"

"That was a little too much rage for a potassium transportation device. I didn't mean it. You full of electrolytes."

"I'm gonna eat pizza because I like the sauce on the pizza with the cheese on the pizza."

"I could not have killed him any harder."

"Don't make me make you say some out of pocket shit."

"I've been saying out of pocket shit all day."

"By sheer artillery alone, we should have tunneled our way to Atlantis by now."

"Yo, I don't know the Tom & Jerry lore, fuck you!"

"What if you wanted to go to heaven but God said to you, 'WE'RE GONNA TRY THIS WEEK'S CRUMBL COOKIE MENU'?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINNITUS, WHAT?"

"Is this like punching someone in the dark? Is it like a legal loophole?"

"There's only one of me in all the world. I am one in a krillion."

"If you're a chest sleeper, you're just a fuckin' psychopath, alright?"