#Anyways. I love this show and it makes me really sad

[ahappydnp]

so sorry but ive seen two different things about this now and im very lost, why did people think they were breaking up/broke up in 2012??? pls help me understand, wise keeper of the lore. thank u so much

response under the cut for general 2012 discussion/too long

basically 2012/2013 used to get (and sometimes still is) generalized as this dark and awful time period where dnp "hated" each other and us, when in actuality it was two very young very scared closeted queer people who were in the process of several major life changes at once while also dealing with a new exploding fan base

there's a few big things from that "era" that people talk about:

deleting old posts- around this era dnp deleted a ton of old tweets/formsprings/dailybooths that could read as them being in a relationship. they were blowing up online and had more eyes on them than ever before, not to mention had just starting working with the BBC (where being queer would have greatly affected their careers). also keep in mind dan was still in the closet to EVERYONE, and now he's got tons of fans going through his accounts and sending shit to HIS LITTLE BROTHER on tumblr asking if dan's gay. anyway people decided them deleting early tweets meant they had broken up

dan's customerservice tumblr blog- in the middle of them blowing up and people finding all these old posts, dan in an effort to control the narrative, makes a new blog for people to anonymously ask him questions (: which went about as well as you can imagine for an extremely defensive closeted 20 year old with undiagnosed depression. basically he said some unfortunately things out of fear

the video leaked again- won't get too much into that because of the subject matter, but the yeah the video leaked for the second time except this time way more people saw it/shared it and dnp actually had to respond to it this time. which is. just fucking awful and heartbreaking all around.

phil persona- basically this was the birth of the amazingphil persona that'd follow phil to the quiff era. he became more sanitized and less personable than original phil fans were used to (which got romanticized into uwu he's sad because he and dan broke up and now he's shutting down)

"no homo"- pretty self explanatory...people asked if they were gay (every single day constantly on every platform) and they would say no because what else are they going to say. this one particular vyou where dan's actually trying to make people think kills me (x) god he was so young. but they'd also started doing the "omg i don't want to see you naked/ew people want us to kiss" and the infamous "you need a girlfriend" "my future wife" etc etc.

the breakup rumors mostly stemmed from and became popular/ treated as fact by younger fans who kind of saw them as these fictionalized characters (which i mean not to blame them because they were literal children and youtubers were still so new that people did treat them like tv show characters you could be friends with). it also got turned into more sinister theories like the "dan is abusing phil" ones and "phil is actually gay but dan isn't and just used phil for attention and fame in 2009"

there was also factors like them moving to london in 2012 (and people were CONVINCED they'd stop being friends in london??), people thinking them getting popular would mean they'd get girlfriends like other popular youtubers (shoutout danrific shippers), and most importantly just them sharing less about their personal lives with their audience. like of course they're not going to live tweet their day/location anymore when people are showing up at their house and trying to find their families.

basically, dnp were putting boundaries between themselves and their fans, but the fans interpreted it as putting distance between each other. in actuality the 2012/2013 era was full of some really amazing memories and content and things people loved (literally the photobooth challenge is from 2013!! sleeping phil saying i hate you is from 2012!!!)

in conclusion, imagine building a forever home with your ex lmao

[nanaboo-pumpkaboo]

//ooc under cut

@completelylusingit - Lus is like probably one of the best examples of someone from Unova like interacting with Silas based on what they know and then growing to like the guy once actually knowing him. I love seeing the evolution of Lus character and am glad to have the guy back. @.nacrenecitygardening Fuck I feel for Cory. for a multitude of reasons. I'm so worried and so interested in these situations.

@thatfailedpokemontrainer - Sprite is such a dude, I described it once upon a time as "A closed box of firecrackers with the fuse lit" and the statement still stands. He's so chaotic and I've been deeply enjoying its and Paris journey through Unova. @.a-nickits-den as well, Beedrills contrast with Sprite is so so interesting and the rivalry with Kura has me fucking gripped I've gushed to my partners about those two. Not to mention how good Beedrill has been for altering Silas' fate, that kid means a lot to the old man.

@battle-subway-ghost - I was first introduced to Paris through the grey walls event but I have deeply enjoyed seeing like, how chill Paris is. I love how much he like stands up for Kura and I still think about the bit where Silas leaked his information even if that ruined any chance for them interacting.

@tinkatinktrain - The goodra post is what introduced me to Mylah and I love how absolutely disgusted it makes Viscous-Protector every single time it pops up on his dash. Silas and Mylah have a really interesting vibe where they both feel like they can be silly to each other but will drop the bit on a dime in order to actually make sure the other is fine. @.subzeroiceshard and fucking, Kura. I gushed with my partners about that fucker just last night, I love how fucked that guy is, I love how GOOD he is about making people hate him to the point where Silas realizes this and is showing him pity out of spite cause he knows Kura wants to be hated and STILL Kura gets Silas to slip. top tier clown.

@shilo-sumac - fuckin god I love seeing Shilo interact with people, I want to have Silas interact with em more. Silas gets like so fuckin concerned and protective like everytime he reads some concerning posts from them but doesn't wanna come off as creepy. Love how she keeps running into terrorists

@team-skull-unova - you my good fella have notifications on. I absolutely love seeing Rais shenanigans every time they log on. I love that Rai is one of the few people who have lost to Silas in a pokemon battle but won in a physical fight. Also I find their thing going on with @cryogonalsmelody so so so fuckin interesting and I am living for it.

@ariadosanon - this is just about the coolest Victoria Silas knows and I am so so sorry for how much he wants to fight her dad. Just about the only team leader Silas follows without intention to clown on.

@team-ex-rocket - you also have notifications on, despite the fact that Silas CAN'T interact with Frosty anymore. I genuinely love how like genuinely dangerous Frosty is but keeps getting clowned on anyways. One of the only characters that has brought out a side of Silas that closely resembles his Boss.

@prof-polaris - sometimes I will just go through and read your blogs. I love how real Polaris feels. I can deeply relate to the melancholy that radiates from subjects having to do with Kittsu and having to like live despite the sadness.

@unovan-businesswoman-angie - I know you've been on hiatus (and I'll delete this part if you'd like to be untagged) but Angie and Tia are so fuckin based. They are so kind and cool and so solid of characters. A lot of the things they both have participated in have been so so well written and entertaining as well, I love the amount of love and care Angie has for her daughters. My recent(ish) arc only increased the amount of love I feel for the character too how like I felt Angie's hesitation when Silas told her the truth. @.rupture-remnant is like, has my braincells fuckin gripped, I think about them constantly, I can't wait until the news reaches them. I don't think Syndicate would exist without them.

@safrina-shards - Another fella on hiatus, she's so interesting. I love reading about her relationship with Angie. When she was active I was constantly hoping "keep her safe keep her safe" hoping nothing bad would happen. Completely activates protective instincts.

@vulgrados-best - I love all of the redux Crewniverse but Miguel is THE most authentic blogger that I have ever fucking seen in pokemon IRL, you've certainly seen in the tags me going "FUCKIN MIGUEL AGAIN" because I just keep reblogging stuff to main from them. Keep it up!

@wishmaker-astra - you made me make a whole new blog just so Silas can interact, 10/10. I love interacting with Astra's polls and how often Silas is able to be silly and also have like adult conversations with Astra. Really gets my senior citizen clown thinking.

@humming-pokemon-helpers - Fuuuuck I feel for Vanilla, the same day Wolfgang died I was actually at my grandma's funeral. Makes every time Silas tries to comfort or help Vanilla 100% hit harder for myself. Love how silly and professional they are.

@guitarandgallade - I wouldn't even be active in pokemonIRL at all without you, Silas wouldn't exist if you hadn't made your original blog all the way back in like 2018.

@goldenrodchef - Gen is so fuckin cool, I love how kindhearted he is and like simultaniously tormented being Eebied. I can see it sometimes getting to him but holy fuck

it took me all fucking day to write these with several distractions but I mean it, thanks for keeping me coming back to this wonderful community

// what if we all tagged our favorite blogs and went to check eachother's favorite blogs out as a result of tagging our favorite blogs. what then

[sleepymccoy]

Okay I have work to do but I keep thinking about this plot bunny instead so I'm just gonna write it out. I'm not actually gonna write the fic cos if imma write amnesia I'll do my og story that I'm working on, but I reckon that story idea is what made this one come up in my head

Anyway, enjoy a synopsis

Basically, background is mirror Spock forced a permanent bond with McCoy when he went so hard so fast on the mind meld. When McCoy came back, this bond translated to basically an unconsummated marriage bond with Spock.

Spock clocked this immediately of course and once he found out what happened he quietly went about closing his access to McCoy's mind. Never told McCoy, cos it's not gonna come up. And he just politely doesn't use the bond. It's shut

Until! This fic starts with Spock being drugged maybe I guess and he loses his memory. Maybe he remembers his life up to a point, but certainly no starfleet memories. Actually yeah that's juicy cos then he's like why the fuck am I working for humans?? Anyway

Memory loss, going drugged rather than hurt so that it can fix up easily enough when his lover works through the toxin and also so that there's some period of time before he wakes where the barriers he put in their bond fail

So Spock wakes up and has a meeting with Jim about who he is, where his loyalties are, and if he can do his job. And the whole time he's got this corner of his mind that's just rushing with complex, out of place emotions.

He steadily figures out it's a bond, but he doesn't know who to. And he can't access the bond well, it's not consummated! Jim ends up getting worried and calls McCoy up and McCoy's all pissed off cos he's mid surgery and snarky and Spock's like okay so I'm not married to the captain or the doctor because the emotions I'm getting are like concern and love and neither are showing that. One's professional, one's angry.

Spock ends up meditating and manages to prod his spouse through the bond. He does this a few times until they get a call to the bridge that McCoy's not well so he and Jim go down and McCoy's like something it WRONG with MY BRAIN I don't wanna lose my memories like Spock has, he's a useless fucker now

And Spock's like. This guy is insulting me but the only emotion I'm getting is grief and panic. Guess the brain thing isn't me poking the bond

So he pokes it again and nope definitely McCoy, and he's not happy about it. So Spock explains himself

Unfortunately saying, "the latent marriage bond between doctor McCoy and myself if the cause of his acute medical distress" isn't an explanation that goes over well

So there's another meeting, this time with McCoy pacing around the table as Jim tries to mediate. And Spock keeps announcing what McCoy's feeling even when he's acting differently. It takes four times before McCoy's performed anger actually matches his feelings, which Spock announces, which makes Jim laugh

Anyway it is what it is. Spock and McCoy finally managed to have a genuine talk after work, while McCoy has a bourbon in hand, and McCoy really insists they're not together and he doesn't know where this bond has come from. His Spock never said anything about it

And Spock's like I'm the same man and I said something three hours ago. And McCoy throws a book at him, but all the feeling Spock gets is immense fondness. So he comments on that. And McCoy is suddenly very sad

It's confusing. Spock is dizzy. He kisses McCoy because he feels like he ought to and McCoy kicks him out

Two days later, and many enormously complex feelings in his brain but very little interaction with McCoy to compare them to, Spock gets his memories back

😬

He apologises to McCoy for this kiss. McCoy is more pissed off about the bond. Spock can tell that's not true, but he's better at pretending not to know what McCoy really feels. So he explains the bond thing and that he can as good as close it off

McCoy tells him to close it. Spock admits he can tell that it's not what McCoy really wants. McCoy goes apoplectic. Spock offers to teach him to use it. McCoy leaves

Spock is meditating to close the bond when it shakes, like a spider web catching a furious fly. It's a wonderful feeling, his spouse interacting with their bond for the first time. So Spock opens himself to it and lets McCoy explore

He doesn't explore long. And he's pretty rough and fumbly about it. Whacks the spider web a couple times then leaves. Spock enjoys it anyway

Spock goes to visit once McCoy stops and McCoy's very defensive about it all, even more so when he finds out Spock really doesn't mind. Spock shows him where the connection is and how to reach out to it

McCoy takes to it like a duck to water. They argue that night but it's different, the words dance along the surface of the lake while they swirl together beneath, tides and currents pulling at each other. McCoy's emotions change on a dime, constantly fighting. And it's all there, respect, hate, attraction, disregard, humour, adoration.

Sometimes without warning McCoy will laugh, then admit the conflict between what Spock feels and says is fascinating to him. He loves to see it. He loves learning now how Spock sees the world

And at one point, for just a moment, McCoy seems to love him. Spock knows it's not real, and McCoy emotions are all over the place, but still he feels the thrum of love, then the tone changes dramatically

Because McCoy felt Spock's like for him. Deeper than friendship, more obsessive than colleagues, more physical than brothers.

So Spock promises to close the connection. McCoy admits to some of the same feelings, but Spock knew that. McCoy feels everything all the time, there's no consistency in him. If he wanted, truly and genuinely, then Spock would know about it. He knows at best McCoy is erratic

Then McCoy says something about hate being next to love, and they're kissing again. And this time McCoy doesn't ask him to leave

Spock does forget to warn McCoy that consummation will scale up the bond and oh boy McCoy is pissed off in the morning. Genuinely pissed off too, and Spock can tell

[miimo96]

So I finally got around to watching TBHK Season 2 since the dub is finally out and all I gotta say, is just me or does something about this season feel off? Like I thought I was going crazy at 1st and thought it just probably the obvious new art style/animation and that I just probably needed some time to get used to it but in reality, I think I know exactly WHAT it is, and it's the fact that they actually removed a lot of the stuff that made the TBHK anime special in the 1st place, stuff like the extra stuff at the end of episodes like the TBHK extra panels, the extravagant/bold designs, the subtle backgrounds, and ESPECIALLY the manga like style they had before by adding in those small panels, like THIS was one of the things that ACTUALLY made tbhk special and made me actually fall in love with the show, the fact that it actually felt like a manga come to life. Removing these little things is like removing the heart and soul of the show and kinda now makes the anime kinda generic, like I really wish they didn't do this because when it comes down to TBHK, THIS fits so well and especially with certain arcs like oh idk, THE PICTURE PERFECT ARC!? like WHY did studio Lerche DO THIS, WHY!? Like I honestly don't understand, this is literally what made your show so goated in the 1st place and it's not just here because Afterschool hanako does the EXACT SAME THING, and I'm so sad that I didn't notice this before and thought I was just tripping when I KNEW something was off, If they can then I hope they really bring these back because it just made the show SO GOOD and in my opinion, made it the most unique, ESPECIALLY when it came to animation because it helped with cutting time and animating certain scenes like WTF lerche!?

Also Im Glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks like this and agrees because this is what actually made the show so enjoyable, now it just feels like another GENERIC Anime and I absolutely HATE that because that's not what this series is, it's actually a unique series with a unique art style and unique concept, like HOW did this happen and is there away we can go back please because I absolutely REALLY want to ^^; but anyway that's just what I think, but what about you, do ya agree or am I just complaining? Crazy how they did all this to promote the manga and anime, yet when we FINALLY get our season 2, they take away everything that made it special to begin with 😒

[bananaactivity]

Personally, as someone who loves character design ( Like regular human character design is my forte but I can bust a monster or furry design out if I lock in) all the same hair is annoying when I'm trying to distinguish them like… you can distinguish Adam, Chase, Oliver, and Kaz in live-action cause they all have different heights, and ages and wear semi-different clothes. But when you draw them you realize… they all have the same flipping hairstyle at their most interesting points. And sometimes they wear the same kinda clothes and next thing you know it all feels so repetitive to draw.

Like wtf

Are we being dead ass rn wtf is this. ( ADAM THAT WIDOWS PEAK IS NOT SAVING YOUUU)

That coupled with the fact that they all wear extremely similar clothes and it's like in an unrealistic cartoon design class ts would be fucked. All of them have worn plaid shirts so it's not a Chase or Oli thing, all of them have worn Raglan tees so it's not a Kaz or Adam thing. Like their personalities are doing all the work and those are similar too. Funny stupid man and Smart bitchless man.

There are minute differences that a locked in fan could point out, but on a surface level, they're much too close. This is especially true for art and fanfics which already kinda fuck up the character's actual personalities for headcanons or misinterpretations or whatever but it's a stupid silly decade-old show, who gives a shit what the fans create. They literally destroyed three good shows over one measly boost in views. Now look at them the whole channel is basically gone nowadays.

I haven't done the same amount of work as I have for Kickin' It, but I'm working on it. The hair has already been fixed. I think.

Oli gets curls and a mullet, Kaz keeps his hair but make it more pointy, Adam gets a more swoopy slick thing and Chase gets a more exaggerated and messy pointy thing.

I don’t really have the same issues with Kai and Jack or Rudy and Ty from Kickin it cause my AU has them being mirrors of each other. Like Ty and Rudy are mirrors for each other and then as a whole they’re mirrors for the younger duo. it’s kinda the same thing as Adam/Chase and Douglas/ Donald, that whole breaking the cycle thing.

It works in my AU cause I can’t stand to write sad shit. I’m more of a goofy goober. Anyway enough yapping from me that was just my two cents

idk if this is an unpopular opinion but i miss their silly 2010’s swoopy hair :(

[twst-drabbles]

Divus 4

Summary: Class is over and you and Divus are hanging out in his classroom. Divus gives you his pointer and you used it against him for the fun of it.

(I look at Divus and think 'brat.' Both a brat and a brat tamer at the same time. How fun! Anyways, nothing explicit, no need to worry.)

The day was over and all the students are meandering about, doing whatever after class activities they've signed up for. Usually you'd be in your designated closet, setting up your cleaning cart, but you've had to help Divus with his class all day, so you're more than a little tired.

That and Divus insisted and you're not one to fight a break when you can grab it. If Dire throws a fit, you can throw him under the bus and make a quick getaway.

"Now then, I'd say today went well. Almost suspiciously so, it almost makes my skin crawl." Yeah you can see why. Imagine that, having rowdy students year after year, and suddenly this particular generation of students decide to start behaving. A change like that would rattle people of Divus's type.

"You were itching to punish a student, huh? Starting to miss your 'rowdy pups' I take it?" You stood up from your chair and gave a big stretch, popping a few spots in your spine. You sighed in relief then dragged your chair over to Divus's desk. You two will probably be chatting for a while.

"Haa… a little bit yes, but I have to admit, it's a good thing they're starting to listen to me more. Can't begin to imagine why that's happening though, not with the headmage that we have." Divus flicked his pointer back and forth as he sat down, as if longing to snap it against a desk. "It probably won't be long before I have to put this down, to gather time and dust. How sad."

"A tragedy." You almost expected him to start dramatically sniffing, but he prides himself on not being childish. He settled for a fake little frown. You held out your hand and on instinct, Divus gave you his pointer. "Did you pay a lot for this thing? Feel custom made."

The teacher pointers you've seen all have a uniform flavor to it, where you can easily imagine boxes upon boxes of the stuff inside a teacher's closet. This one though, you expected to have it's own fancy red velvet pillow right besides Divus's bed. It's perfectly polished, and now matter how much you scrutinized it, you can't find a single scratch. He really loves this thing, huh?

"Yes and it makes replacing it such a pain," Divus leaned on his hand, exhaustion covering him like a second fur coat, "but I say it's well worth the thaumarks. It matches me perfectly, doesn't it?"

You paused in your playing around with the white gemstone and looked towards Divus. He gave you a playful wink, as if to tease you for staring. With a deft hand, you snapped that pointer on the table, right on the space between his thumb and finger. Divus jumped a bit, eyes wide open as you stroked the cold golden pointer over the length of his neck. His throat bobbed, his smooth skin sparkling with a sudden light sheen of sweat. You stopped right under his chin. With a nudge of your hand, you forced Divus to look up at you.

There was silence, with only the sound of Divus's breath growing heavier. You didn't waver in the slightest as you held his gaze, his lips lightly parted as if anticipating something. Only when a lock of black hair fell loose from behind his ear did you smile. "Yup, suits you just fine."

Divus went stone still as soon as you took the pointer away and laid it on his desk. Within a few seconds, he rebooted, but the smile he gave back to you was stiff, as if clenching his jaw. His eyes thinned to a very nasty glare.

"Well, wasn't that a nice little prank. Would you like me to show you one of my own?"

"Yeah yeah, maybe later Divus, I know you're not angry at all." You waved him off as you settle back against your chair, stretching just a little bit more to get more parts of you relaxed.

Divus held onto that look for just a minute longer, probably hoping that you'll crack and take him seriously, but he deflated first with a shake of his head and a tired smile. "I really can't pull one over you, can I?"

"Nope. Now, can I hear more about your dogs?"

[stupidlittlespirit]

i've seen the "he'd never date a woman" thing with ford so much, which i think about a lot. like it's one thing to just headcanon him as gay but there are a lot of posts where internalized or blatant misogyny shine bright. one i saw straight up had multiple people going "he respects women too much to want to date/fuck them" like hello? do you realize what you are implying ab real women when you say that?

i'm not great at articulating my thoughts but i think it's especially prominent with ford because of his intelligence + unconventional demeanor. he's off-putting and a genius and didn't want to give up his work to settle down into a standard marriage with kids. women can't be weird or smart in the same way men can for example and all women want the typical white picket fence nuclear family american dream. therefore you are off your gourd if you think he'd ever want to be with a woman. so there’s that on top of the already rampant misogyny present in fandom spaces with shipping especially.

there's also the whole "gibe the oracle your phone number" / "i miss dimension 52" that could have some implications if you want but ig i can't blame people for forgetting jeselbraum because hirsch barely expands on her LOL. but basically it’s all up to interpretation and it really isn’t all that wild to think he could be attracted to women.

personally i just enjoy projecting my own sexuality onto him. “what gender are you attracted to?” don’t care. can i show you my isopod colonies. “how would you describe your sexual attraction?” uhhhhhhhhhhh (<- is probably demisexual)

So, I deleted my post because I felt like I was rehashing points I'd previously made a million times before, but I stand by it.

I want to address what you said and then I want to kind of go on a tangent (shocker, I know) about the interpretation of GF at large because I've been engaging with a lot of Lynch stuff recently, who we know was by and large the most influential person for Hirsch, and one of the biggest things around Lynch's work is the beauty of subjectiveness. I think Hirsch carries that legacy with him at the heart of his work.

So yeah, the comments about Ford 'respecting women too much' is insane. If anyone thinks that they are probably the kind of person who doesn't respect a woman anyway. If your hands sully the one you touch, perhaps your hands were not so clean to begin with, yknow? That's the vibe I always get with those kinds of comments.

Society approaches women so differently from men in this regard, as you said. Where a man is 'quirky' and 'cool', a woman is 'annoying' or 'trying too hard'. She suffers for her differences where as he profits for them. She can only commit the crime of being Cringe, and in my experience, people will forgive many things but never that.

There is certainly merit in the way in which a lot of people recognise that Ford is partial to things that are 'weird' or that are shunned by society, especially because of his hands, and that plays well into Queer culture. It's a feeling most of us (if not all of us) experience. So I can see where there connection comes and it's totally cool to hold that belief. Queer is BIG umbrella and I think he falls under it myself, what with the ace/aro stuff. We're given much more canon evidence of him being ace/aro, in fact, than of anything else. I maintain personally that canon Ford is asexual and aromantic, and that romance doesn't factor into his life in the way it does for 'normal' people. It's why when Bill mentions that quiz Ford does in his dreams in TBoB it makes me think of my own struggles with asexuality: "I'm not normal, everyone else is feeling this type of way and I'm feeling that type of way. There's something wrong with me. I'm weird. I need answers." It feels very much like Ford is attempting to understand that side of himself and is very afraid of the answer.

The Oracle stuff makes me so sad it was never expanded on more. I really love Jheselbraum and it felt like she was one of the first people that Ford met who was of higher intelligence than him, and who actually did just want to help. She extended an extreme kindness to him. Whether it was more than that doesn't even really matter. There was still a relationship formed there that can't be discounted. But again, it can be interpreted in lots of different ways.

This is the other thing. There's nothing wrong with projecting yourself onto your favourite character. We all do it. I do it. It's fun and it brings comfort. And that's okay! But that means we can all do it. So it's unfair for someone else to say "you're wrong for thinking XYZ about Ford" because we're all just kids in a sandbox playing house with these characters. You can't gatekeep someone else's enjoyment.

You can believe Ford is gay. You can believe Ford is ace. You can believe Ford is whatever you want him to be, but what you can't do is then rescind that privilege from someone else just because you don't like it or because it makes you feel better about yourself to punch down on someone else. People are entitled to their own interpretations of media, even if they make you feel uncomfortable or whatever.

Which brings us onto Lynch. Now, I'm not a huge surrealist fan, I like Lynch most for the person that he was (ugh I'm still so sad to type that). One of the biggest things about him was that he valued the intelligence of his audience and respected them enough to allow them the space to interpret his works as they saw fit. He never wanted to define his films in a way that would prevent another person from taking their own meaning from it. There was no definition, only feeling.

There's a clip of him being asked to expand on his meaning for one of his films, I forget which one, and he just replies "no". It's so fucking good because that, to me, is art. It is fundamentally subjective in its existence and the way I view something is not going to be the way someone else does, so why take that interpretation away from one to give to another just for their approval? We may align in thoughts but the way we process the media is going to be entirely different. Why? Because we're different people. Our experiences throughout our lives have informed the way we interact with things.

I think Alex Hirsch enjoys other people making their own interpretations of his work in a similar way. Just as Lynch does. Hirsch wants you, the audience, to derive personal meaning. He doesn't need (or even want) to tell you how to engage with the themes because why would he? It would only make him work harder to get a simpler point across and it would risk alienating parts of his audience. He wants the audience to connect and to find their own familiarities, and he respects his audience enough to give them the space to let them do that. He's often evasive when he's asked to tie things down firmly. To be honest, I think he should be braver in just saying "no, I don't want to answer that" sometimes. You can tell he wants to but he also wants to engage with people so it can be hard.

People are very desperate to want to have answers in black and white. They need things to be canon in order to feel vindicated, when in actual fact, an idea is just as legitimate when it comes to fiction. Fiction IS an idea. It isn't tangible and therefore cannot be quantified, so it can be interpreted however.

Anyway, by forcing your interpretation of the work onto others (ie. 'Ford would never', 'Stan would never' etc), I think you fundamentally misunderstand what the purpose of the work is. You're taking away the light of other people because you're scared yours doesn't shine bright enough. And you're scared because other people previously took your light away, but all you're doing is repeating the cycle and taking away from the rest of us.

Your ideas can coexist with others. No one is right and in that, everyone is right. Does that make sense? Idk.

I voice my opinions of disliking certain ways the fandom engages with elements of the show, but I don't think they have less right to have those ideas than I do to have my own. I interpret Bill as one way and someone else will interpret him another. That's okay. You're allowed to do that. But I don't think you're allowed to be actively vicious to others over it.

Engage with honesty and recognise that other people enjoys things in different ways, and it's okay not to control the narrative of that sometimes.

I have my criticisms of Hirsch but I also have a lot of love for the guy, and one of the biggest things I respect about him is him allowing us to draw our own beliefs. Do I think he could stand to do some things better? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't love what I already have from his work.

I'm not sure if this makes sense, I'm having a bit of a Day, but I hope it at least reads well enough to convey my meaning.

[y0ur-lovrr]

Hiiii this is my first request so im sry if this is not enough but can you do banda or yaba i love them with a reader that is like dazai this is inspired by what i saw in tumblur and i just was so obsessed with that idea so if you can pls do it tho ofcourse you can not do it!

—Secret alliances

A/n; I’m sorry this is pretty bad imo, but I had no idea who Dazai was and tried to do what I saw on TikTok, so it’s most likely so out of character! 😓

Pairing; Sunato Banda x Reader

—“let’s take a looksy.!” Your voice says in a sing song voice, acting to nonchalant and calm as if you couldn’t basically kill him right now..but you wouldn’t do that, since you’re allies.

Banda just hums quietly, patiently standing there as you lean back to get a look at the back of his collar, grabbing a small handful of his dark locks and moving out of the collars way, ignoring his small grunt in retaliation.

“…and you’re a club.” You hum as you tap the back of his collar to signify your point before letting go of his hair, not waiting for a reply before you turn around, already tugging some of your hair away from the collars way.

Banda huffs quietly in an amused tone, finding it quite amusing how you were always calm and playful, even though you could die at any second-even with how smart you were.

“You’re a heart.” He says simply, copying you and tapping the back of your collar before you turn around to face him again.

“Okay…so that settles another round then?” You muse, showing of that small and Cheshire Cat like grin of yours that he had come so used to over the past few games he’s played with you, including this one-it was as if luck was on his side, really, no matter what game it was, you both would somehow meet up again.

“That it does, and I have a feeling the game will end soon.” He huffs casually with a shrug of his shoulders, noting how empty the asylum looked with how many people have gotten eliminated.

You scoff quietly under your breath-almost as if you were disappointed, or maybe even bored. “That’s disappointing..but thanks to the other guy we secured our guess on who the Jack is.”

“Mhm…speaking off, I’m sure our teammates are probably looking for us now. Can’t let the alliance out yet, can we?” He mumbles with a small smirk, watching as you roll your eyes, but agreeing anyway.

“I guess…you’re dinner to hang out with than chishiya…you actually put up with me and entertain me.”

You huff out, being a little dramatic about it, even though it wasn’t a big deal-but he just quietly chuckles in amusement, finding the thought of you being bored of chishiya.

After saying a few more things, you both decide it’s time to split up and go back to your reluctant partners, you giving him a playful wink as you walk away and head towards the area chishiya was at, while he makes his way back to matsushita.

—“I had a feeling it was you.” Chishiya draws out casually as he walks out from him room, catching matsushita by surprise as he stops laughing, realizing that he’s been figured out.

Before he can sputter out another word, Banda also steps out from a room, hands casually shoved into his pockets, a slight smirk on his face. “Not a lot of people team up with someone like me, you kind of walked right into this.” Banda sighs, amused at the whole ordeal, along with chishiya as he lightly huffs.

“You didn’t even realize that he was acting like he was under your control, he manipulated you in the long run.”

And then there’s more footsteps, you walking out from behind a corner, still alive as well, much to matsushita’s disappointment-he’s had it out for specifically since the beginning.

“Oh, there’s more of use left than I thought there would be..and you didn’t manage to get me out like you wanted to, huh? So sad.”

You mumble out with a feigned pout, but it quickly drops as you see Banda, immediately attaching yourself to his side, almost like a dog as Banda would describe it. Chishiya raises an eyebrow slightly at you going towards Banda instead, but he quickly understands what’s happening, and he can’t say he surprised, so he decides not to mention it.

“Wait no-it’s not me!—“ matsushita tries to sputter out, only to be interrupted by you scoffing, looking at him like he was stupid, watching the realization of that his partner was working with you the entire time, and that he had basically lost.

Banda and Yaba decided to have some fun with him, trapping him in his room and deciding to make some answer about the borderlands come out of him…despite knowing that matsushita would probably fold rather quickly.

And to no one’s surprise, you turn and follow after Banda, staying by his side as yaba stays on his other-you weren’t gonna go with chishiya of all people..and he may have already left the building, so it was too late for you to follow him.

More fun for you and Banda, right?

[lsunstreakerl]

(DarkBull)

I absolutely love the extra info given from these last 2 ficlets and I have thoughts opinions and praise to give

Carlos and Max!! The comfort Max gets from being in Carlos' presence. How he worries about his boys but doesn't understand the implication (said like Always Sunny in Philadelphia) of his actions and what that can mean for others! The gun! How many are just hidden around Redbull and Max's own apartment? When did Carlos become involved enough with crime part of rb that he has access to a gun and takes note of where it is?

More info on the trackers! I love the idea of the placement being the spine ( can't remove it without permanent damage to Max ) and the ankle ( Probably won't be able to walk normally if removed, can't run )

The list that Daniel and Carlos have and share about what makes Max happy, sad, etc. Their job is reliant on this mans emotions, they are learning everything they can.

I love timelines and im asking more for the vibe of where different fictlets fit compared to each other? Are they most chronological to posting unless placement is share (ex. pre kidnapping)? If you don't really know don't worry about it, I just like dates and numbers.

The jewelry! I loved the fact that Christian zoned so far into the bracelet being on Max's skin. In my mind, Christian and GP co-design the bangles and there was a heated discussion, so seeing that in person, on his pet's driver's wrist was worth the argument with GP. I like how Daniel and Carlos got him his collar necklace to symbolize their mark on him (Charles is furious when he sees it for the first time, Pierre did not have a good time).

Did Carlos have to get Christian's and GP's approval before he started the romantic/sexual part of his relationship with Max? If so how did that go? When did Daniel get added to the dynamic? You mention how Carlos just started to lead Max around and finally led him to the kiss which turned to more.

Carlos and Daniel just being in his place ready to catch him when he wants to rest. I loved the both touching part of "they care about me" and "If he breaks down in the wrong place people will die"

In one of your responses you mentioned "discipline". Can you show/explain some examples of what they are or when they were used (On any of the 3 rb drivers because while I think rb wants Daniel and Carlos to be disposable, Max likes them too much for them to be able to get rid of them in the way they did for that one employee you mentioned in 2nd ficlet)

Anyways, I love Dark RedBull and the way your mind has been coming up with progressions because I would never of thought of some of the plot points you give us! Make sure you rest and eat, college students unite!

carlos and max!! the way max really does deeply care for both of them, and in a semi-twisted way they do actually love him back- it just also happens that their jobs depend on it.

carlos was brought into the crime side as soon as his relationship with max moved into a romantic/sexual aspect. redbull pulled him aside after they saw the way max was using him as emotional support/an emotional safe space, and they basically told him "you can take that further, but if you fuck it up we're going to kill you", and also "if you're going to be around him like that you need to be able to defend him".

daniel got the same kind of speech. there are many guns scattered across the factory, and more than a few in max's "flat".

I use flat loosely because you'll notice in the max pov, he says his room at the factory. that's because max has his own space, literally within the factory on one of the higher floors. it's basically a fully kitted out apartment, except he uses his employee badge to get in.

the trackers!! so happy you picked up on the placement there, it was very intentional. the one in his spine is hard to get to without a dedicated surgical team who knows exactly where they're looking- otherwise the damage would be immense.

same with the ankle. if it was removed, he definitely wouldn't be able to drive anymore. couldn't run, couldn't really walk without a slight limp and a lot of PT.

if anyone ever tried to steal max so he could drive for them, they wouldn't be able to remove the trackers without max also becoming unable to drive.

it's by far the most permanent claim redbull has on him- they can't be removed without permanent damage.

daniel and carlos's list is the golden egg of rbr tbh. it's come in handy many, many times.

I'll make a timeline post when I compile stuff for the eventual ao3 post, but until then it's mostly vibes unless I specify lol

the bracelets and the necklace. oh man. christian and GP do spend a lot of time getting it just right, and then the actual screw is customized, so it's different from any of the other love lock bracelets. christian has the tool to open it, and max doesn't, so they're permanent.

the bracelet he gets from daniel and carlos is also permanent. it's not that the clasp is weird and he can't figure it out- it's that it's a permanent locking mechanism, and isn't designed to be removable.

it's so complicated with the three of them. daniel and carlos really do want to take care of max, and they really do love him, but there's also the metaphorical guillotine over their heads. they're both very aware that max being upset at the wrong time or the wrong place could end up with problems, so they have the responsibility of trying to keep him emotionally regulated. they take it very seriously.

ficlets I will be writing: adding daniel to the dynamic, discipline, max redbull reunion

thank you!! once again, thrilled that people are enjoying darkbull as I try and get the brainworm out lol. college students on top raaaahhhh 🦅

[johanna-swann]

So I've been complaining for a while that 911 has nothing exciting going on anymore, but there is actually one thing that I am super curious to watch play out. Not even just in universe, I'm curious to see how the show handles this:

How are they going to resolve the Christopher problem?

If the rumors are correct the actor moved away and he is mostly leaving the show. We've had a situation similar to this before with Harry and his actor, but despite the similarities there are also differences that will be difficult if not impossible to navigate.

Harry left to live with his dad. Everyone in the Grant family was on board with this because they all had a good relationship to each other and Harry had already stayed with Michael during covid. It made sense that Harry would want to stay with his dad and stepdad.

Christopher left LA not because he wanted to stay with his grandparents so badly, but because he didn't want to stay with his dad. He didn't leave because he loves his grandparents that much, he left because he was angry with his dad. Eddie was not okay with this decision, but let Chris go anyway because he felt it was the right thing to do. Ramon and Helena don't officially have custody of Christopher or any other form of guardianship agreement (afaik), so even legally this could get complicated.

Harry left the show in a way that was satisfying storywise. I was sad to see him go, but David had this huge opportunity and of course Michael went with him. Harry going as well was okay because it was a happy parting of the ways even if I miss all three of them.

Christopher left in a way that needs a resolution. There is still conflict here and the only way to end this in a satisfying way is to reunite Eddie and Chris. Ideally not 3 seasons from now, but asap. It has already been 8(?) months.

(This entire plot is madness btw. Like. Even when you have a bad argument you don't just let your child move 800 miles away from you permanently. Especially when the grandparents in question have a history of trying to get guardianship. After the summer break at the latest Eddie should've put his foot down about this. But I digress and they probably had to do it like this because Chris' actor wasn't available.)

My point is: There are 2 ways this can go.

1, Eddie and Christopher reunite in El Paso. Eddie leaves LA, Ryan Guzman leaves the show, a notoriously angry fanbase will send death threats to the showrunner and producers like they never have before. You know, fun stuff.

("Not all Buddie fans", I know I know, but there is a significant portion of shippers in this fandom who have become very fond of online harrassment and bullying, icluding death threats and suicide baiting. Need I remind you that only recently the 911-bts account was bullied offline? They were completely neutral on the ship question and only posted about official info, they really didn't do anything wrong and yet, here we are.)

2, Eddie and Christopher reunite in LA. Chris comes back, they talk things out, work on their relationship. Sounds better, right? Yeah, tiny problem though. How?

How, if Chris' actor isn't available? Do they just have Eddie talk about Chris without ever showing him again? What about Chris and Buck's relationship? They throw that out the window too? I imagine recasting is quite difficult, how many child actors with CP who fit the bill can there be in LA?

Besides, don't get mad at me, but Christopher kinda makes up 80% of Eddie's personality. He's the single dad, that's his constant. What else does he have? The panic attacks, the military trauma, the anger issues - all of those things are stuff the show brought up once for rather short arcs and then never again. If you look for things that are always true about Eddie there's two of them: He's a single father and he's still hung up on Shannon.

They can't drag Shannon's corpse around forever (though they do try). Take Christopher out of the equation too and forget about Chris himself, what is this show going to do with Eddie? He has never shown any ambition to further his career in any way. He doesn't seem to have close ties to any of his relatives outside of Pepa. Like. Dude has two sisters and he never even mentions them. Carla apparently also left the show. He doesn't really have other friends outside the 118 (he hasn't talked to Linda since season 5 and Tommy left the show too). And even within the 118, who is he particularly close to other than Buck?

They could of course actually go for Buddie, but is that a good idea right now? Eddie still hasn't worked out his Shannon complex, Buck is not over Tommy yet and it doesn't solve the Christopher problem.

So yeah. Very curious about how they'll solve this pickle. I'd love to hear some other people's thoughts about this.

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Kinger is Cursed With the Consequences of His Actions, and That's What's Making Him Crazy

Oh yes! The character we've all officially designated as Pomni’s new papa has got me reminiscing about another silly crackpot monarch who is actually an intelligent man in his late forties, an identity that has been buried so deep within the recesses of his altered mind that it can only emerge through special circumstances of which he has no control. But I know I'm not the only one who's made connections between him and Simon Petrikov from Adventure Time.

Btw did you know that they're also nearly the same age?

Yeah, this comparison has already been made by plenty of people. But if I may, I'd like to point out one other similarity that I've noticed; the fact that both of these men tragically lost the love of their lives, yet even in their broken minds the love they felt for them is still remembered fondly.

But, what if Kinger was also indirectly responsible for losing Queenie?

So........what exactly causes someone to abstract?

Of course, this would be an important question considering it's baked into the premise of the show itself, but I find it to be particularly relevant when dissecting Kinger's character because if we only assume that abstraction occurs when a human loses their mind, then how is someone like him still hanging around the Circus?

He’s been trapped there the longest, how long exactly is yet to be confirmed, but it’s safe to say that all those years haven't been kind to him. In the pilot he’s characterized as extremely erratic and forgetful, getting easily startled because his spatial awareness and object permanence are practically nonexistent nor can he retain previously established information for very long. On top of that, he regularly spouts nonsense that seemingly has nothing to do with the current situation. Because of this, his general demeanor tends to range between ridiculous to downright frustrating to the other characters.

So it’s no wonder that his fellow humans have more or less dismissed him as just being insane.

But I think this is a completely reductive view of this poor man because Kinger’s got that “he’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit” energy that I love about him.

I think this is one of the more adorable aspects of Kinger's character; he's always trying to help. He tries his absolute darndest.

And what makes me sad is that, with the way that he is, he has such little control over how much he can actually help the people he clearly cares a lot about.

In Mystery of Mildenhall Manor, it's revealed that Kinger's lucidity is apparently affected by his exposure to darkness. How this works exactly is a bit inconsistent as we've had scenes of him in complete darkness and still acting pretty goofy.

However, based on my observations, I believe the change is not instantaneous. Like, he doesn't immediately become the Kinger we see in the adventure with Pomni if he is suddenly enveloped in darkness. I think what primarily plays a part is the amount of time he spends in darker settings. The segments we get with Kinger and Pomni are significantly dimmer compared to the rest of the episode, and we even get hints of Kinger progressively becoming more logical before we get to the cellar.

I’ve also noticed a small pattern in which he prefaces these brief moments of clarity with “I think…”.

This could be completely unrelated, but I find it interesting that Kinger's big advice to Pomni on how to overcome something difficult is to try "not thinking about it". I may be reading too much into this specific bit of phrasing but I feel that it's worth noting if this really is the mentality he lives by, because this is the advice he gives her when he's in two totally different states of mind.

Anyway, it turns out that when this silly man finally gets a good grasp on himself again, he’s actually extremely competent. Kinger shooting down the angel is a pretty obvious example of him being a BAMF, but I want to give these two moments a bit of focus.

I like the idea that Kinger has been in the Circus long enough to become so familiar with his weird digital body that he uses his detachable parts and disembodied hands to his advantage. It’s just a neat little detail because we get a taste of just how capable Kinger can be in this world if it wasn’t for his handicap.

And what really sucks is that the amount of time it takes for him to regain his sanity in the dark is really disproportionate to the amount of time it takes for him to lose it when back in bright environments.

Take the scene where Kinger is having a conversation with Ragatha in Candy Carrier Chaos with the bucket on his head for example, which definitely foreshadows this detail since it's the first time we hear him speaking more sensibly.

and then this happens

Notice how he taps the handle of the bucket? Like he's realizing that he does, in fact, have a bucket on his head that's obscuring his vision, before lifting it off of his face and going right back to responding in the way we've come to expect from Kinger.

It makes me wonder if Kinger has ever tried to tell the other's about this, but just couldn't. Ragatha clearly isn't aware of it despite having known him the longest out of any of the current residents of the Circus. And Kinger himself can't seem to pinpoint when exactly he shifts between sane and insane. Like a man who blacks out and feeling ashamed of his drunken actions when he sobers up again, despite having no control or awareness in the moment.

Describing Kinger's usual behavior when not in darkness as a "blackout" is pretty ironic, but I think it fits beautifully because it perfectly explains his short-term memory loss. Or I guess it would be more accurate to call it a "brownout". Either way, the point is that his memory becomes more obscured when he's in the light.

As for what initially caused this impairment, we still don't know.

I also don't want to get too clinical with Kinger's "symptoms" because I am in no way schooled enough to diagnose a fictional character who has only had a single episode focused on him.

But even just one episode proved to be very enlightening (...heh...see...see what I did there? Enlight-eh forget it) because after comforting a freshly traumatized Pomni, our girl interacts with Kinger at his most coherent long enough to learn some very crucial information.

It seems that the abstracted humans are not inherently dangerous, at least not when secluded in darkness, which Kinger was fortunate enough to witness with his own wife before they were separated (not legally, divorce doesn't exist in the Circus).

I've made this connection in another post I made, but yeah I really do think that it's the Circus' garish lights that make the abstracted so aggressive. I mean when you have that many eyes, that shit would aggravate the hell out of you.

But now comes the real question, and I'm tying it back to the one I made at the start, what made Queenie abstract in the first place?

How very convenient, Kinger. How did Jax put it, "gotta keep the mystery alive"?

Well, I'm playing detective here and I say you're the key suspect!

That's right! I'm accusing you! But unlike Baron Moldydick's crime, it twasn't homicide.

Yeah, everyone has picked up on how Mildenhall killing his wife acts as a parallel to what Kinger may or may not have done to Queenie. But I don't think it's as cut and dry as Kinger losing his mind and then somehow putting Queenie in direct danger as a result.

No, I like to think that it's definitely a bit more complicated than that.

It's not clear when exactly Kinger began losing his mind, but I certainly believe it had everything to do with losing Queenie. And it would actually be a pretty fun bit of character design if it does because in chess the King becomes most vulnerable when the Queen is taken off the board.

I know we all want to imagine that Queenie had existed alongside the other characters sometime before Pomni's arrival, but based on what we're given in canon, I'm starting to think that was highly unlikely. Because if everyone knew who Queenie was, then they would also deduce that Kinger wasn't always the way that he is now. I just don't get the impression from everyone else that they know about Kinger's dual state of mind. Otherwise, it'd be kind of awful that they wouldn't do more to help him if they were aware of this fact.

Kinger has always been crazy to them because all they know is that he's been in the Circus longer than anyone else. Which really goes to show how little they truly understand one another despite having only each other for company.

And it's not like they don't care enough (well, except maybe Jax) to want to understand and be there for each other, but it's almost like they are never given enough opportunities to really...bond.

And yeah, unfortunately, a lot of it has to do with each of these characters having their own hang-ups that keep them from doing just that. It's not just Caine constantly shoving them into his adventures to distract them.

Ragatha is dishonest with her feelings

Gangle is insecure when her mask breaks

Jax hates being vulnerable

and Zooble is never comfortable in their own skin (or at least their body's equivalent of skin)

I don't want to downplay it either, these are real issues that need consistent work. These people need help and the only one really capable of supplying that is a little broken himself.

This is why it's so fortunate that Pomni was with Kinger when he started speaking more sensibly. She has already displayed a remarkable level of emotional maturity with Gummigoo, but that's because Gummigoo was the one in need of reassurance at that moment. When exposed to problems far worse than your own, your problems in some way appear much more manageable in comparison. Pomni may be trapped, but Gummigoo doesn't even get the luxury of existing outside of what he was made for. That alone gave Pomni the confidence to live in spite of her circumstances and inspire someone else to do the same.

But it's hard to maintain that confidence when your new support system gets literally deleted right in front of you.

It's ok tho! Thanks to participating in Kaufmo's funeral, Pomni begins to open herself up to the others more, which allows her to have...some faith in her new friends. This is especially good when she gets to finally break down for a minute with Kinger because honestly, it's amazing she's held herself marginally together this whole time without crying at least once.

Pomni experiences her (so far) all-time low, and this segues to Kinger sharing his.

It's pretty terrible, losing someone. The previous episode pretty much forced that onto Pomni. How exactly do you completely move on from something like that? Well see that's the neat part, you don’t. In fact, Kinger even alludes to how you shouldn't. Even though the memory of losing Queenie is painful, it's what anchors him. He lost Queenie, but he still has everyone else, and he refuses to give up on them. So despite his mind constantly working against him, he does what he can to help his friends. In his own clumsy and confused way, he's there for them.

To me, abstracting isn't going insane. It's giving up. Giving up on yourself and giving up on others. It's easy to get to that point without the occasional necessary affirmation that you shouldn't give up.

This was the hardest lesson Kinger had to learn in the Circus. And he's doing his best to get the others to understand as well. But Kaufmo's recent abstraction proves how unsuccessful he's been.

Thankfully, Pomni takes it immediately to heart.

This is crucial, not just for Pomni's development, but for everyone else. Kinger even assures that it's more important for Pomni to remember than for him to not forget. That's why her name is more than just an ironic punchline, it's meant to represent her purpose in the story. As long as she remembers, hold on to the good, she'll get through it. Kinger is putting just as much faith in her practicing what he just preached as she is in letting him lead her through hell.

Oh no I've made more biblical allegories! The Pomni is Jesus theories are winning!!!

Ok but in all seriousness, we see just how much Kinger's words influenced Pomni's actions in Fast Food Masquerade. It's all but said that Gangle was close to abstracting towards the end of the adventure.

Yeah she’s about to turn into an eldritch horror, but c’mon we’ve all been there after a long shift.

Trying to talk things out didn't work, so Pomni then took a more practical approach to helping her.

Something as simple as allowing Gangle to get some rest and verbally reminding her that she doesn't have to handle things on her own. It's almost poetic how although Pomni can't leave the Circus, she's constantly telling others that they can leave and she's going to help them.

And Pomni doesn't save Gangle all on her own either. It was Kinger's insistence to have Zooble take his spot in the adventure that allowed them to witness Gangle's manic-depressive decline. They also had a practical way of showing support by offering to stay past their designated shift and relieve Gangle of the burden of transporting a drunk Ragatha.

Episode 3 really was all about acts of service, wasn't it.

If Zooble wasn't present for that adventure, they wouldn't have had the full context of why Gangle feels like she's not wanted.

Zooble saying "I still like talking to you" carries far more weight than if they had said, "I like talking to you". Especially when Gangle already feels insecure about how honest Ragatha is with her. Zooble got to see Gangle spiral and still accepts her. On top of that they are adamant about calling her their friend despite her doubts. That means something. Everything really.

This is what cherishing someone looks like.

I think Queenie abstracted because, at some point, Kinger began to neglect her. Perhaps he became so obsessed with finding a way out that he forgot what was most important. It's too early to really say if that's how it went down, but it'd be a poignant bullet point to the tragedy that is Kinger.

So I guess the real question is: How does one lose their wife?

Well in the wise words of Cody Martin

[swampthingking]

OHHHKAFGJSKADVNWRKGNSKDF the angst possibilities in this are ENDLESS --

maybe aaron wants to know the truth about how she died...maybe it's all because he assumes andrew's this cold-blooded killer... and this is another thing that is conflicting between the twins, because andrew doesn't understand why aaron wants to bring her back, and now aaron needs andrew's help to perform the spell to bring her back once he finds the gem. he can't tell andrew the real reason, though, so...hm.

aaron trying for hours to be the one to have a bit of magic left in him. andrew watching until eventually seeing aaron struggle was too much, so he frames it as him being bored and makes a snide little comment on his way out, just a subtle way of trying to discourage aaron from trying to bring her back. but he can't help but listen through the walls until aaron gives up and leaves, and he hates her just that much more for springing back into their lives even from death.

andrew's on his snoop shit, as he canonically is. he goes into aaron's room and mumbles the spell out loud and it works. aaron comes back and assumes that andrew's trying to sabotage the spell and they have a little tiff, and then half-tilda is there.

aaron tells andrew that he's going to find a new phoenix gem. andrew, of course, is like, there's no fucking way in hell you're going alone, and off they go!!!!! shenanigan ensue and regular onward plotpoints are tweaked to fit the twinyard dynamic -- perhaps they have A Laugh. these near death experiences would show aaron that he is a capable individual and he does have the ability to become something, and they show andrew that aaron is capable of handling himself. aaron saves andrew at one point and andrew is like oh well he does care kinda--he didn't let me die. etc. other things to develop their relationship.

and i know this is a twinyard au but ... kevin would be All the Fuck Over quests of yore SPECIFICALLY because of the historical accuracy. and maybe possibly perhaps he'd forced aaron to play with him. ...dungeon master kevin day my love my heart my one and only--ANYWAY this is how aaron knows enough about magic and the quest to get them to where they're going and to teach andrew to perform spells and such.

couldn't tell you why andrew would go along with this, or how aaron convinced andrew to perform these spells or what he had to tell himself to do them (for aaron's sake), but it makes sense to me that he'd be stupidly good at magic, just as he is at goalkeeping. it makes sense to me that andrew would eventually just be like, "alright. if this is what you want, i'll let you learn the hard way," and do these things kind of placatingly.

they've gotten to a good place before the Big Fight happens, a couple near death experiences to bring them closer, and then they end up right back to where they started and aaron says andrew is a screwup and its SAD OK!!! and aaron is like u fucked this up for me on purpose u knew what u were doing the entire time!!! and like in his anger admits that he was gonna ask tilda how she really died because he knows andrew did it. and andrew is like "of course i fucking did it, i told her i would if she put her hands on u again" etc etc. i don't see them making up Before the dragon fight like ian and barley did, but maybe they both realize the gem is in the fountain and andrew got there first and he gives it to aaron, kinda like "i l*ve you enough to let you make the choice" and aaron has had this big realization that andrew does love him and has done everything for him because he loves him, and yea.

and so they fight a dragon and andrew is trapped beneath the rubble watching aaron and tilda talking, and he assumes that aaron is choosing her over andrew, but then aaron comes back and says what OP said: "i told her that she's wrong about us and we're going to make something of ourselves despite her" and then i cry my eyes out.

thanks OP for putting this thought into my head, i love to Not be normal <3

oh ps all the while, nicky is frantically trying to track them down and he shows up to help them kick Dragon Ass and it's awesome

This is probably so niche but twinyards Onward AU:

Tilda is the dad except shit, obviously. Aaron is Barley, who loved her, and Andrew is Ian, who barely knew her.

Aaron wants to bring Tilda back, but Andrew is dead set against it. Aaron, of course, thinks Andrew is just being spiteful and trying to hurt him. Andrew just doesn't want seeing Tilda to hurt Aaron or undo all the progress his brother worked so hard for.

In the end, Andrew helps Aaron get his last conversation with Tilda, and Aaron tells her how wrong she was about her sons; they were going to make something of themselves, despite her.

[acesammy]

what constitutes being a monster in spn is so deeply interesting bc so much of the show is used to argue that monstrosity is not about what you are but what you do. And that you can always be a better person, your monstrous traits aren’t necessarily actually monstrous.

but as the show goes on we learn that this is only true if dean deems you human. So sams monstrous traits must be buried deep and thrown out in order for him to be good. Sams monstrous friends are inherently evil bc dean says so. Deans monstrous friends are fine though, of course.

I’m just eternally wishing for a version of this show where sams abilities are so deeply ingrained in him that he can’t ever get rid of them. And he’s allowed to be a hero regardless. Give me a season 5 where sams eyes randomly go yellow. Or he has to deal with demon traps or he needs to control his emotions bc anger from him can be literally explosive, but regardless of all of this he still shows dean more compassion than dean ever leant to him in season 4. And regardless of all this he still beats the devil.

[arcanegifs]

[cecoeur]

it's hell on earth to be heavenly them's the breaks, they don't come gently

[pokimoko]

haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by