#Anyway thank you for the tag! It was nice. And very random indeed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sweetsouya · 3 years ago

Text

SUGOAKU

A/N: I have been having major issues with my reblogs of my work not appearing in tags (i had 74 notes on the og). So I am seeing if a compete, fresh post of it, will work … fingers crossed.

Likes are nice but reblogs is what keeps artist alive …

Parings: Souya x Reader

Words (currently): 2786

Other notes: The reader’s gender, ethnicity etc isn’t stated, its 100% you, no matter who you are! HOWEVER, this work depicts adult, 28 year old Souya and Nahoya, where they’re running their ramen shop, therefore, I will be making the reader and adult too, and around their age.

CHAPTER 1 - KIMCHI

[Reader] recently returned to Japan, after having been living abroad for a number of years. [Reader] found themselves living back in their old neighborhood of Meguro. It felt good being back in familiar surroundings, like many areas of Tokyo, things were constantly changing. There was a mixture of new establishments, along with old favourites. One of the new establishments was recommended to her by a neighbor, a ramen shop called, Sugoaku.

It had not long ago and was finding success fairly quickly, which in [reader]’s humble opinion was a good thing. Starting a business in the food industry was difficult in any location. But in Meguro, with competing with long-standing businesses that have tested time, and popular chain restaurants. There was still a risk of the business failing. However, those behind Sugoaku appeared to know what they were doing, confident in their skills and business know-how.

Business appeared to be doing well for Sugoaku, there were always at least a small handful of patrons in the restaurant at any given time, and (in [reader]’s opinion) their product was worth visiting multiple times a week. The menu never changed too much, typical of ramen establishments, which suited [reader]’s taste anyway. Instead, they always ordered the same type of ramen: a Tonkotsu ramen with normal noodle hardness. Depending on the day, often by recommendation, additions would be added: extra nori, a soft-boiled egg, extra Negi, and even extra cha-shu. The combinations were almost limitless.

With a rapidly growing business, it was only natural that the establishment would be at full capacity, with people lining up outside for a seat, during lunch and dinner rush hours. It wasn’t [reader]’s ideal situation. They had made that mistake once before and were sorely disappointed. Therefore, they attempted to visit Sugoaku after the rush, when the business was quieting down and the atmosphere was more at ease. Such was the case as one particular evening when [reader] went to Sugoaku for possibly the fourth time that week. It was a Sunday evening, and they had (thankfully) just missed the dinner time rush.

IRASSHAIMASE~

The chorus of welcomes greeted [reader] as they entered the restaurant and gestured to the server for a seat for one person. With the rush now over, it meant that the counter was close to being fully vacant, except for the odd random man or two minding their own business as they ate. Reaching their seat, [reader] scanned the kitchen briefly, inspecting who was currently present in front of them.

“Ahhhh~!” A light-hearted voice reached their ears, “you can’t seem to get enough of us!” [Reader]’s eyes stopped in the form of a pink-haired young man behind the counter, his smile growing a little wider as he watched them. The very same smile that they thought was incredibly infectious, as a smile of their own stretched across their lips. “Indeed,” they replied, their eyes flicking around the kitchen for the pink-haired man’s accomplice. “I’m just doing my bit to support a growing business, that is all.”

The pink-haired man was about to retort before a blue-haired man intervened, “it’s very considerate of you, thank you.” He had been on the restaurant floor, assisting their server to tidy up and had come up beside [reader]. Who had not heard his approach, and was slightly startled at his sudden appearance, which was not left undetected by him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured under his breath, [reader] strained to hear it but knew it was directed at them. They threw a smile in his direction, wordlessly telling him it was fine, “you’re welcome.”

The pink and blue-haired men were the owners of Sugoaku, twin brothers of stark contrasts. The pink-haired twin was Nahoya, playful, carefree, and had an ever-present smile gracing his lips. It always seemed that nothing ever bothered him, and it was often hard to take him seriously. He also often spoke his mind a little too much and says “I’ll fucking kill you” in such a nonchalant manner, that it never sat well with the self-entitled (alcohol-driven) late-night customers. He was rather cocky with [reader]’s patronage to their business. [Reader] wasn’t so sure what to make of it at first, but soon learned that he was just teasing and was appreciative of [reader]’s loyalty.

His blue-haired twin, Souya, was completely different compared to his brother. He always looked intensely irritated, looking like he was ready to jump over the counter to beat the next customer, who Nahoya just told to die. However, despite his face and gruff voice, he was the kinder of the two. He was always polite, spoke carefully, and was the one who calmed things down whenever things got heated between his brother and a customer. He was the one [reader] felt more at ease with, it was always easy to fall into a comfortable conversation with him. Like his brother he was appreciative of [reader]’s loyalty, he was the one who personally made sure your order was taken correctly; heaven forbid a part-timer messes up your order.

Souya hummed lightly in response, passing a few empty dishes to his brother, and with his hands now free, reached for a notepad and pen in his back pocket. “What will it be today?” He asked, amusement clear in his voice. A small smile crept along with your features upon catching the tone in his voice, “hmmm…” [reader]’s eyes flickered across their menu as they tried to make a final decision. After a brief moment, they looked up at the blue-haired man and set the menu down, “I’ll have the chef’s choice.”

Souya looked lost for a brief moment but wrote down their request nevertheless. As he did so, Nahoya let out a chuckle, “and which chef’s choice would that be~?” he called out, mischief fully lacing his voice. [Reader] looked over at the elder twin, “not yours,” they responded without missing a beat. There was no way in hell that they were going to let Nahoya choose whatever he wanted in your ramen; chances are he’ll make it spicier than his signature dish.

“Lame~” Nahoya simply shrugged his shoulders and continued what he was doing. Next to [reader], Souya let out a soft hum, “so, my choice then …” he was thinking of what to put together for them. “Is that all? Or would you like your usual sides?” [Reader] nodded in response, deciding that some gyoza and small fried rice on the side would be a good idea. “Noted.” Jotting down the final request to your order, Souya nodded his head and moved to join his brother behind the counter, in the kitchen.

As [reader] waited for their order, they mindlessly scrolled through their phone before setting it down and looked around the shop, before their gaze finally came to rest upon the twin brothers working in front of them. It was always a curiosity watching them work, [reader] was sure that it was all down to the fact they were twins. They worked in unison, both mindful of each other’s space, and did not always need words to communicate with each other. They were certain that they would never get bored watching the two men work together.

“What’s with that face~?” Nahoya’s voice sang out, startling [reader] into attention. “Uh…what?” [Reader] was so engrossed in watching the two men work, that they had become unaware of themselves and their surroundings. A blush dusted their cheeks as they looked between the two, Nahoya was chuckling to himself, and Souya, although poker-faced, held an amused look in his eyes. “Ah, nothing,” [reader] busied themselves at their seat, by taking a sip of their glass of water, which just earned them more chuckles from Nahoya, “… It’s just been a long day.”

“Bro, stop it,” Souya muttered, taking note of [reader]’s embarrassment as he finished off placing the last few garnishes on top of the fried rice he had just finished cooking. He knew that his brother’s laughing was not helping the situation, and he wanted [reader] to enjoy their visits to their shop, not dread it because of his brother’s constant teasing. A playful hum came from the elder twin, indicating nothing but trouble and Souya let out a deep sigh as he placed the bowl of fried rice in front of [reader], “your Gyoza and Ramen are coming…”

“[Reader] was just admiring my good looks as always, Angry~!” If it was entirely possible, Nahoya’s Cheshire Cat-like grin just grew wider, and in turn, if it was entirely possible, [reader]’s blush deepened. “That’s why they keep coming back.” He wasn’t wrong, both brothers were good-looking but to be called out like that was typical of Nahoya trying to get a rise out of them. “Nahoya…” [Reader] groaned in further embarrassment, pressing their face into their palm, missing the threatening look Souya cast over his brother. Letting out a sigh, they turned their focus to the fried rice that Souya made, beginning to eat it while it was still hot.

Meanwhile, Souya closed in on his older brother, nudging his shoulder as he did. “Tch, bro, hurry up with [reader]’s gyoza and noodles. Remember, normal firmness.” He pressed, hoping it would get his brother to work and off [reader]’s back. He had cooked off [reader]’s fried rice, which should’ve allowed Nahoya enough time to prepare the noodles and pan fry the gyoza, so he could start assembling [reader]’s order of “chef’s choice.” But his brother’s taunting of [reader] held up the progress line a bit, which annoyed Souya; it ruined the flow and synchronisation of how the brothers worked.

“Hurry up,” Souya muttered again, leaving his brother’s side and taking a visual sweep of the restaurant, nodding to a leaving patron who was at the cashier being seen by their part-timer. The business was slowing down for the evening, nothing too unusual, the slower pace allowed the brothers to relax and enjoy their work a little more. However, it did bother Souya when his brother slacked off a little too much or became a little too playful with their patrons. He picked up the water pitcher, glancing over at [reader] ’s snow empty cup, and refilled it. “Just ignore my brother,” he grumbled to them, hoping that they weren’t too embarrassed by Nahoya’s teasing. “Don’t be afraid to show him some attitude either. Otherwise, he’ll just walk all over you.” [Reader] glanced up to the blue-haired man, giving him a small smile of thanks for the refill, and let out a small laugh. “It’s quite alright,” they replied, picking up their glass of water and taking a sip. “I’m not that bothered by his antics.” Souya hummed in reply, his eyes flickering over his shoulder to his elder, “but still, don’t hold back if it gets too much.”

[Reader] gave Souya a reassuring smile, they enjoyed their time at Sugoaku especially when they were able to talk with the twins, especially Souya. There had been several times, they had considered giving them their LINE username, in an attempt to see them outside of the business setting; however, [reader] was unsure if it was unprofessional to do so. So for now, [reader] had to settle with their visits to the restaurant. “So, Sou-,” [reader] was about to attempt to strike up a conversation with Souya before the part-timer interrupted. “Boss, new order,” they announced, passing Souya the newly written receipt. “Thanks,” Souya waved off the part-timer, as his eyes flickered over to [reader], who nodded in silent understanding. A constant and expected occurrence, the interruption from new orders. It just encouraged [reader] to take their time eating at the restaurant, the longer they stayed there, the more time they stayed with the twins.

“New order,” Souya announced to his brother and the two seamlessly got to work. Nahoya had finished the [readers] noodles and was plating up the fresh gyoza, while Souya began cooking the noodles and setting up the tray of various plates and bowls for the new order. “M’dear~” Nahoya grinned at [reader], placing the gyoza in front of them, alongside a small plate of kimchi. [Reader] looked at the kimchi for a moment in confusion, they were sure that they didn’t normally order the side dish. So why was Nahoya placing it in front of them? “My treat,” he told them, “since Souya is going to make your bowl, this is my little contribution.” [Reader] let out a small laugh, those two brothers were truly a package, you can’t have one without the other. Even though they weren’t overly keen on the spicy fermented cabbage, as it was a little too spicy for their tastes. [Reader] began to pick at it, gingerly putting small amounts into their mouth.

“You don’t need to eat it,” Souya had spotted them pick at the side dish, as he was putting together a bowl of ramen, which [reader] assumed to be their order. The blue-haired man knew that they were being polite, and wished that his brother picked a different side dish to give them; a few pieces of karaage would’ve been sufficient. [Reader] looked over at Souya and gave him a sheepish smile, “Big bro likes to make his kimchi and makes it too spicy, despite how many times I tell him.” He continued, as he worked on the bowl adding on the finishing touches. “Maybe, if he notices you not eating it, he’ll get the damn hint.”

On the other side of the kitchen, Nahoya heard everything. “Oh ho~ What’s this lil bro? Recruiting [reader] to go against my kimchi~?” He sang out, his usual light and playful voice now having a threatening edge to it. “Just because you can’t handle a little spice, doesn’t mean they can’t either. Right, [reader]~?” [reader]’s eyes flicked between the two brothers, with the elder now getting a rise out of the younger’s comments. Their eyes settled on Souya, who was now placing the bowl of fresh ramen in front of them. His eyes were apologetic and clearly over it at the same time, the subject of Nahoya’s spicy kimchi must be one that had never been resolved. “Well …” [reader] began, their eyes flickering between the brothers and back down at the kimchi. “It is good kimchi …” in unison Souya looked deflated and Nahoya straightened in triumph, “but it is a little too spicy.” The moods instantly switched when [reader] finished off their verdict. Nahoya losing his trademark grin, with Souya looking over his shoulder with a clear ‘told you so’ look on his face.

“Well that sucks!” Nahoya bounced back, his grin plastered back on his face. “That just means one thing~ [Reader] you can be my official kimchi taster,” he declared, placing the next order on the counter for the part-timer to deliver to a customer. “Oi, table 15 is ready!” It was in that instant the near confrontation over the kimchi was forgotten, Nahoya had quickly moved on and began rinsing dishes to put into the dishwasher at the back of the kitchen. “That went better than I thought it would,” Souya commented, watching his brother’s back for a brief moment before drawing his attention back to [reader]. “I have given you a modified version of my specialty.”

[Reader] looked at the bowl of ramen in front of them. It was indeed Souya’s signature dish, which was called “Angry” and was a black Tonkotsu ramen. The broth gets its colour from a mixture of black sesame seed and black garlic oil, and despite appearances, the balance between the flavours was to perfection. Neither flavour overpowered the other or the other components of the dish. It was a quick favourite of [reader]’s, as it combined two of their favourite ingredients on the planet; not that they would admit that to Souya. His signature dish was, of course, a stark contrast to his brother’s which was a white Tonkotsu ramen, which was deceivingly spicy. Having known the twins for a while now, it was always amusing to [reader] how well their representative signature dishes reflected the personalities of each twin.

“So,” Souya began listing out the toppings he added to [reader]’s bowl. “We have the usuals there: menma, negi, cha-shu, and nori. I know you like corn and egg in your ramen, so I added those to your bowl.” The fact that he remembered [reader]’s favourite toppings, made them a little warm and fuzzy on the inside. Souya must make hundreds, if not thousands of bowls a day or week even, and he still made the effort to remember their usual order and favourite toppings. “Thank you, it looks great,” they replied softly, smiling at him.

“Itadakimasu~”

#tokyo revengers #kawata souya #souya kawata #angry kawata #nahoya kawata #kawata nahoya #manga #spoilers #anime #long post

22 notes · View notes

dreadfutures · 4 years ago

Text

aight let‘s talk ao3 tags again

the very nice tag wrangler I’ll be quoting from has given me permission to share their kind and thorough responses (all bolding/emphasis is mine) without identifying information. and we very nicely go through some of my own tags from my long fic Dead Pasts, Dread Futures. Many, many thanks to this wrangler for explaining so much to me.

Anyway. I present these discussions as a peacable offer of: these are many writers’ concerns, and they are valuable, and worth considering. don’t dismiss concerns about the tag limit off hand, and don’t insist that edge cases don’t matter.

tldr; at the moment, after all this discussion and back and forths and bullying, I still believe that having 75 tags, period, as the limit across ALLCharacters/Relationships/Fandoms/Additional Tags penalizes longfics. Period. If it were even a limit of 100 tags, or broken down by Tag Type, it would be a little more forgiving. For advertising and for content filtering purposes, it only helps writers and fic visibilty to be specific and thorough in tags. A limit like this just so clearly has the potential to negatively affect large fandom/large ensemble/long fics.

It feels like this decision is being very broadly based on a "for the majority" mindset, which has never been what AO3 is about, without actually physically looking at the kinds of fics it will affect. The tag system on AO3 has been able to give fic filtering and reader-judgement a nuance that no other platform has accomplished, and longfics and large ensemble fics still, I think, depend on that as both a courtesy and necessity. I saw the rough math someone did and know that almost all fics currently on AO3 are <25k or something like that, and sure, for the average oneshot, or for even a fic <100k, a tag limit that's very strict across all tag categories probably won't be felt at all. But it's clearly something that people who write certain types of fics, and take them very seriously, will feel. Like I genuinely don't want to have a million tags. I want to tag relevant content that allows potential readers to filter & include & exclude my fic as they so choose, but also, if it does show up in their search, I want to give them the information they want to be able to decide if they want to read my fic or not. I don't want to have to put all my content warnings into a giant summary, or into a giant author's note that grows and grows. The tags have been a very helpful way of accomplishing those. Being able to cut down on parallel/synned tags is great, but it still seems like longfics that deal with multiple fandom entries, large casts, and require content warnings will butt up against that limit very quickly.

tag limit discussions:

- long fic writers adding tags as they go

- writers of franchises with many installments and ensemble casts

- writers with extensive content warnings

- use of tags to clarify a filtered tag

- use of tags to demonstrate how content is handled

off the bat - stop being jerks

look, I know objectively fics don’t need to be tagged at all. I lived in the wild west, too, when “lemon” meant anything from the merest mention of arousal to an explicit vanilla sex scene to all out dead dove craziness. a large part of me still is of the opinion that readers should just read shit, and if they decide they don’t like it, just dip. but that’s not what we’re about here. tagging is a kindness that we voluntarily undertake, and it’s also a form of advertising.

tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes

(that’s one of the cruxes of the arguments both pro-shippers and antis make: you can filter things! But you can only filter things if they’re tagged.)

I also understand that a few asshole writers have ruined this for all of us by purposefully adding so many tags it slows down the site and makes pages fail to load and hides other fics because the tags take up 10 pages. i also am frustrated with kinkmemers who just have prompt fill fic dumping grounds that span multiple unrelated fandoms and are impossible to navigate.

...the answer is not to suggest to writers that we put all our content warnings and pairings and etc. in our summaries, or our A/Ns, or to insert a first chapter that is a placeholder summary/tags page/world state. tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes.

I also have been dealing with people being murderously angry, and super self-righteous and targeting and mean about my own tags, and tags in general. people who are anti-tag are being giant fucking dicks about it. like get over yourselves and let’s just talk about a website function lol. tags are useful for their specificity, for filtering and exclusion purposes.

THE ANSWER IS NOT TO GET RID OF TAGS.

Alright, so now that we’ve gotten that flippin’ straw argument aside.

The next thing anyone has been doing is going to my page and critiquing my tags. Let’s address redundant tags.

(the wrangler has done this nicely! no ridicule necessary!)

using my fic as an example:

If you tag your fic Female Lavellan/Solas (only), it will show up in the following searches: Inqusitor/Solas, Female Inquisitor/Solas, Lavellan/Solas, Female Lavellan/Solas. If you tag your fic Inquisitor/Solas (only), it will show up only in the Inquisitor/Solas search and in none of the others. If you tag with the most specific version, it will show up in the more general versions, but not the other way around. So there's no real reason to tag with the more general tags.

Though I will point out that if you don't use the canonical tag and tag your character or relationship with a custom name it will be synned to the nongendered version, because at some point the DA wranglers decided that they didn't want to make gender assumptions. So "Annabelle Lavellan" will be synned to "Lavellan (Dragon Age)" rather than "Female Lavellan (Dragon Age)", and someone searching for works with specifically "Female Lavellan" won't see it.

Response: In the fanfic writers server I'm in, we've talked about how tags work and are supposed to work extensively in the past. There's just always been a lot of confusion, which I think has been added to when people go and try to double-check for themselves and find instances where this treeing/synning is broken. Someone put out this guide (also here) for AO3 meta text this year, which has been referred to by multiple people in the server, and it says:

What if you wrote a fic for something where there's a movie based on a book, but the movie's really different, and you've used both things that are only in the movie and things that are only in the book? In that case you either tag your fic as both the movie and the book, or see if the fandom has an “all media types” tag and use that instead of the separate tags. If the fandom doesn't have an “all media types” tag yet, you can make one! Just type it in.

“All media types” fandom tags are also useful for cases where there are lots of inter-related series, like Star Wars; there are several tellings of the story in different media but they're interchangeable or overlap significantly, like The Witcher; or the fandom has about a zillion different versions so it's very hard, even impossible, to say which ones your fic does and doesn't fit, like Batman. Use your best judgement as to whether you need to include a more specific fandom tag such as “Batman (Movies 1989-1997)” alongside the “all media types” fandom tag, but try to avoid including very many. The point of the “all media types” tag is to let you leave off the specific tags for every version.

Which I believe is in direct contradiction to guidance to use the most specific tags, so that's definitely one source of confusion. The most recent ao3 meta text guide (https://archiveofourown.org/wrangling_guidelines/2 I think this one) doesn't present itself in a way that makes this clear for writers tagging their own works. The way authors usually go about tagging things (and what's in the FAQ) is to start typing into one of the boxes and look for what populates the drop down, which doesn't lend itself to knowing that there are trees, or knowing what tags are interrelated (it seems like a whole grab bag of tags get suggested, some in-fandom and some outside of fandom, some canon/parent/meta and some children/random freeform, in just about any field you start typing in).

I'm not sure what can really be done about this. Many of us have turned to ao3-comment-of-the-day and their posts about using Tags, and various sources on google, and have clearly come up with a whole load of conflicting advice.

Fundamentally, finding parent/meta tags for a tag as you’re tagging a fic is NOT clear to writers. The fact that a nested and a meta tag can both be suggested one after the other when filling in tags largely contributes to redundant tags.

Writing for Multiple Fandom Entries

Here’s what a tag wrangler had to say about my fandoms:

As with the relationship tree, you can look at the fandom tree here: https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age%20-%20All%20Media%20Types and see how the fandom tags are related. Going back to your story Rogasha'ghi'lan as an example, it's tagged with Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: The Last Court. But as I said, you only need to tag with the lowest relevant level(s) on the tree in order for your fic to show up under the higher levels. So if you tag with Dragon Age: Inquisition and Dragon Age: The Last Court, it will show up not just under those categories, but also under Dragon Age (Video Games) and Dragon Age - All Media Types. And of course because you've tagged with the specific, if someone searches under, say, Dragon Age (Video Games), but doesn't want Inquisition or Last Court fic, they can use the exclude filter to show only the earlier games.

(So that's two more tags you can remove with no effect on searchability!)

In my (but not only my) own case, I am indeed writing for Origins, DA2, Inquisition, and Last Court extensively within the same fic, so I should be tagging for all of those, specifically, still. In order to make sure my fic is seen by the correct fans, I need multiple specific tags.

Longfic Tag Bloat (adding tags as you write a fic)

And like many other longfic writers, even if I narrow down my character tags only to those with dedicated character arcs longer than 5 chapters, I still have Loads & Loads of Characters (including Dalish from the Chargers!).

A lot of longfic writers I know add characters, relationships, and content warnings as they go along.

At 170 chapters/580k words, Dead Pasts had a ton of important relationships (for example, like Vivienne & Lavellan), and as a story it's nowhere near done. I found myself planning an arc from 171 onward that would introduce a very important relationship (Felassan & Lavellan). This is how longfics end up with so many, many, many character tags and relationship tags, which is another major criticism people seem to have about "people who abuse tags."

A solution that people propose online is "split your fic." Which is actually what I ended up doing...but the old relationships and fandoms from DPDF still apply to Rogasha'ghi'lan, so Rogasha'ghi'lan will have the same number and more tags than DPDF.

If I hadn't split the fic, I would have just kept adding tags to Dead Pasts...and still had the same problem of continually adding tags. They're not superfluous tags: someone who wants to see a plot that is deeply influenced by Vivienne & Lavellan will find that in my fic; someone who is looking to see a major Felassan & Lavellan friendship grow and drive plot will also find that in my fic.

My fic is long; there are other fics that are longer, or are going to be longer, with casts that are just as large or larger, with many relationships, and that's not even talking about content warnings.

Polycule / Relationship Tags

"Tagging a polycule like Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan requires four tags: Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, Bull/Dorian, Bull/Lavellan, Lavellan/Dorian"

This assumes that people who like Lavellan/Dorian will want to read Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, which is often not the case. If your story Is Iron Bull/Dorian/Lavellan, tag it that way! It doesn't make any sense to me to tag with the pairs as well unless the story would be of interest to people who read for that pair, or unless that pair relationship is a big step in the story (like, if you have established Lavellan/Dorian, and then they bring in Bull, you might tag for both that pair and the trio). I mean, you can tag how you like, there's no requirement that tags correspond to content. But for me, personally, if I search on Dagna/Lace Harding (I am weak for dwarf women!) I do not want to get a Dagna/Lace Harding/Sera fic.

My personal tastes don't include poly fics, but several writers I know who write poly fics are adamant that: tons of readers will not know of the possibility of the poly fic until it shows up in a search result, and the individual relationships often are significant to the fics, especially in fics that are not oneshots. For example, a great number of "fav fics" are stumbled-across! We aren't interested in the Sera/Dagna/Lace polycule ourselves, but someone might not have considered it, found it, and said, "Hey! That's my new favorite." But if polycules are segregated and only searchable by the polycule itself, alas, what's the option for visibility at all if not tagging it as Lace/Dagna in addition?

Additional Tags

Knowing when something is a "character" and when something is "additional"

Knowing that "Warrior Lavellan" (or the [Name] Mahariel) would be more useful in an Additional Tag vs. a Character Tag is also something I'm not sure how we're supposed to know? Like, I'm glad to know it now, but it's definitely not at all obvious without you telling me why it would be more useful in Additional vs in Character. Especially when to me: Warrior Lavellan is a character, and the fact that it populated the Character tag for me says that it's a Character. Because like I said, the guidance has been: start typing, and if it appears in the drop down, use it. Or, for example, my friend has the Well of Sorrows personified as a Character. Like an actual character. Does that have to go under Additional Tags, or as a Character? How do I know?

Additional tags as tone/content indicators

A lot of writers / readers have approached the Additional Tags as a surface-level overview of understanding how an author is approaching many topics concerned in the fic. Like, Vivienne is a character in my fic, but specifically I am Vivienne-positive, which I feel is important to denote because she's important to my fic, and she's a divisive character. Mood/tone/theme indicators like "Pro-Vivienne" or "we are Vivienne-positive in this house" (or like Male-Female Friendship, or "Expansive Lore" vs "Lore - Freeform" which denote different things to me) in tags (which in the comments section on the ao3 blog post get derided as "chatty tags") are still important to me, though they're useless or far less likely to be used for filtering. (I had the thesis of the conflict of my fic: “empathy is the enemy of free will” “but hope is a choice” as “chatty tags,” among some that were more mundane but important: “sera shows up late in fic”)

More seriously, there are fics that have content warning tags for filtering purposes but also clarify those content warnings to give context to readers and allow them to make a decision whether or not the content actually fits their preferences, ie, one that specifies domestic abuse as a tag (which would be in the Additional Tags) for filtering purposes but also specifies "domestic abuse not present in x relationship" (which would also be in the Additional Tags, but is useless for filtering purposes, but is immensely helpful and demonstrably used by readers to decide if they're going to even bother reading the author's note of that fic).

People are also nervous that not being able to thoroughly tag content warnings is going to end up with unhappy readers amid all the purity culture flaming that's going on lately.

Like, personally I err on the side of "suck it up, reader, and just read and find out," for a lot of things (not talking about content warnings, but talking about mood/tone additional tags), but also, given that there is already a venue here to let readers know what they're in for...taking that away sucks.

I hate a giant fic summary as much as people hate 10 pages of tags, but at least one can hide tags in their preferences, and likewise the thought of starting a fic up front with a giant author's note that gets continually updated with content warnings also isn't super appealing. Leading with a giant author's note that lays out: this is my world state and this is my character's spec and this is my character's background so you know how I'm going to approach this and these are all of the content warnings for the fic as a whole, just feels like getting into "My Immortal" territory. There's definitely a balance to be had between the art of writing a summary, what to include in an author's note, and what to include in tags, but this still seems like it's going to be fairly limiting for writers in these large franchises, especially for longfics that span a lot of topics.

Like I genuinely don't want to have a million tags. I want to tag relevant content that allows potential readers to filter & include & exclude my fic as they so choose, but also, if it does show up in their search, I want to give them the information they want to be able to decide if they want to read my fic or not. I don't want to have to put all my content warnings into a giant summary, or into a giant author's note that grows and grows. The tags have been a very helpful way of accomplishing those. Being able to cut down on parallel/synned tags is great, but it still seems like longfics that deal with multiple fandom entries, large casts, and require content warnings will butt up against that limit very quickly.

#ao3 #ao3 tags #long post #writing #look i really don't want to engage with anyone else but the amount of dimissive takes #and bullying #i see on my dash / have been targeted by / my friends have been targeted by #when we're trying to be conscientious?#is ridiculous #i'm just going to leave this here

26 notes · View notes

cozy-neko · 4 years ago

Text

The Cherry On Top • 02 • 03 | Charity stream disaster • 04

Kenma checked his stream overlay one last time to make sure everything was set up correctly. The streamer was only ten minutes away from his scheduled 24-hour charity stream that Akaashi had set up for him in partnership with the energy drink company, Black Sheep. For every donation Kenma receives during his live stream, all proceeds will be 100% donated to help animal shelters in need of supplies.

For once, Kenma was actually excited about a partnership. As a lover of cats and raising three rescues himself, it wasn’t particularly a hard decision for Kenma to make when Black Sheep had approached him and brought up the idea of a partnership and a charity stream campaign in conjunction with the animal shelter Black Sheep was associated with.

That was why when his sponsorship with Black Sheep had been threatened by a rumor, Kenma ultimately made a public announcement to deny the rumor and personally reached out to the PR/Influencer team at Black Sheep to talk it out with them.

Now, three minutes prior to going live, Kenma’s phone buzzed multiple times. He glanced at the lit up screen and rolled his eyes. It was Kuroo who was blowing up his phone, and Kenma had a fairly decent idea of what the texts were about.

Last week, Kuroo and Kenma had met up with Akaashi and Bokuto for their monthly dinner meet up when Akaashi had mentioned Kenma’s upcoming charity stream.

“A 24-hour stream is too easy for Kenma; the gremlin routinely stays up at least 36-hours once a week anyways.” Kuroo let out a barking laugh as he flipped the meat that was grilling in front of the four friends.

“That’s besides the point, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes and leaned back in the vinyl booth. “I’m doing a charity stream. All donations I get during the stream goes towards the animal shelter that Black Sheep partners with.” Kenma made sure to slowly emphasize the word “charity” when he explained his upcoming project.

“You know, I’ve never seen Kenma so excited about a project,” Bokuto quipped as he eagerly tucked into his meal.

“It’s for a good cause and Kozume was quick to say yes,” Akaashi added as he flashed a small smile towards the flushed streamer. Kenma still wasn’t used to hearing people praise him, no matter how often he was always featured in esports commentary and articles.

“I have three cat rescues myself, so it was a no brainer,” he mumbled, averting eye contact. He opted to push around the burnt pieces of meat with his chopsticks around his plate instead.

“Aw, you’re embarrassed that you got caught being openly excited for your next project!” Kuroo smirked and nudged his friend. It was all friendly-banter, and Kenma knew that Kuroo meant well and was extremely happy for him, but he flushed harder as Bokuto and Akaashi chimed in to cheer on their friend.

“I’m just being a nice person. Maybe you should try it some day,” Kenma shot back.

“What do you mean?” Kuroo scoffed. “I’m always a nice person.”

Akaashi and Kenma rolled their eyes at Kuroo while Bokuto let out a good-natured laugh at Kuroo’s response.

“Hey, wait! You know what you should do to make your 24-hour stream more spicy?” There was a mischievous glint in Bokuto’s eyes as he waited for his friends to respond.

“Bokuto-san, whatever you’re thinking probably isn’t a go--”

“Drunk 24-hour stream!”

“Oh, nice!” Kuroo snapped his fingers and grinned his infamous Cheshire Cat smirk. Akaashi sighed and Kenma grimaced.

"I’m not going to take ideas from two drunks. And we barely sat down to eat, how are you two this drunk already?” Kenma wrinkled his nose.

Kenma unlocked his phone and quickly scanned through his group chat. Yup. There it was: a barrage of texts from Kuroo asking Kenma if he had his booze ready followed by a spam of suggestive eye emojis by Bokuto. Kenma was quick to notice that Akaashi had purposely chosen to ignore the group texts and offered no help in diverting the suggestions.

Kenma snorted quietly at Bokuto's message as he locked his phone. He looked up at the monitor to his right and read some comments that were starting to flood in his stream chat. He gave his camera a small smile and leaned back in his chair, answering some questions that caught his attention and saying "hi" to others.

Kenma usually liked to start his stream off rather chill by interacting with his viewers. After playing his music playlist and adjusting the volume, he finally announced his agenda for the day after a few minutes.

"Today I'm partnering with Black Sheep for a charity stream. It's going to be a 24-hour stream and we're gonna spend most of the time playing some League. All donations I get will go towards helping an animal shelter which you guys know I'm all for." Kenma paused as his donation notification sounded and his text-to-speech setting began to read the donation to him and his viewers.

"meowriachi donated $25: 24-hour stream? too ezpz kodzuken"

Kenma laughed and ran a hand through his messy half-up styled hair.

"I was telling my friends about today's stream and Kuroo said the same thing. Maybe in our next collaboration we'll do a longer stream if you guys want that. We'll also be able to have more fun and do more things, too."

Kenma was smart and sneaky. He always was. Kuroo did always say he was the brains of the team back in high school when they played volleyball together. Kenma was good at analyzing situations, and because of this strength, Kenma knew when to use certain words and situations to create benefits for him and his career. This was no exception. The streamer knew Black Sheep would be moderating his stream, so now the company had slight pressure to partner with him again if there was an in demand from his fans. And this was Kodzuken we were talking about. There was no doubt Kenma knew there would already be a second sponsorship in the works.

Kenma smirked. Easy peasy stream indeed.

Kenma loved his job. He truly did. It wasn't every day someone could wake up every day and actually look forward to going to work, and for that, Kenma was thankful. He was thankful that he had the skillsets to do well in competitive gaming and that he had a knack of being able to pick up mechanics of new games so easily. He was thankful that he had a fanbase that enjoyed his commentary and sarcastic humor, and a fanbase that supported and helped him build his brand from ground up.

Kenma knew he owed one-third of his success to his fans and another one-third to his own hard work and passion. But Kenma also knew he owed the last one-third of his success to his friends.

Not once did Kenma regret making Akaashi his manager; Akaashi had gotten him way more sponsorships than Kenma himself could've if he was still balancing streaming, content creation, and managing his own projects.

Kenma was thankful for Kuroo for always challenging him to step outside his comfort zone. Even when Kenma was irritated and didn't want to hear Kuroo's words of advice and encouragement, Kenma was still grateful for it all.

And Bokuto. Kenma guesses he can be thankful for Bokuto for always hyping him up when he needed it the most. Especially when he was extremely hung over from a night out of (forced) drinking and had barely ten minutes to wake up and set up his stream on time.

Yes, Kenma was truly thankful for his friends. But right now, Kenma wanted to kill them. He wanted to kill Kuroo and Bokuto for coming over to his house uninvited even after he warned them not to and for raiding his stream in real life.

Right now, Kenma was seething. One, he was in the middle of a very important sponsorship deal. Two, he was in the middle of a ranked game in League of Legends and he didn't want to lose his winning streak. And three, his two goofball friends had showed up to his house with alcohol and announced out loud to his viewers that Kenma would now be participating in a drunk 24-hour stream.

Kenma doesn't remember the last time he got this mad. What's worse was that Kenma's fans were all for it. His stream chat was getting spammed with poggers emotes, and it was difficult for Kenma to admit that he had been getting more and more donations ever since Kuroo and Bokuto had shown up and the alcohol was brought out. And because of that, Kenma had begrudgingly surrendered and cracked open a White Claw.

Except he didn't stop only at one; not if Kuroo and Bokuto could help it. And at only about 5'8" with a smaller build, Kenma unfortunately fell victim to being a lightweight. And with Kuroo and Bokuto, kings of being instigators, were there to egg him on along with his stream chat, Kenma downed can after can.

Just a little something to take the edge off a work week, right?

end notes:

→ kenma’s twitch stream took me 30 minutes to piece together 😪

→ if you see the same comments on kenma’s twitch chat twice... no you didn’t 😀🔪

→ also peep the stream title change 👀

→ kenma’s the type to use scuffed candids of his friends as their contact photos, but it didn’t work out too well. he actually respects akaashi enough to use a decent photo, and bokuto never takes a bad photo. ever. i guess kuroo’s the only one he can easily clown.

TAG LIST:

if you’re interested in being notified when a new chapter gets published, please interact with the series overview post to be added to my tag list for this series!

also, please make sure your tag notification settings are turned on, or else I won’t be able to tag you!!

@howcanibreathewithnozaire @stupid-mimi @hiraeth-z @elianetsantana@onwnonly @random-stufff-1 @akabiscuit @arttzume @ianieworld @sunnout @meemsx @duhsies @umiilikesmilk @lcmecobain @tsukkiyuuji @basilton485 @0grenntea0 @kiss-my-cheek @hugscore @thatfunnysprout @soynomnom @ittsvias @multi-fandom-fanfic @ms1015 @restinpeace-minusone @lailaaparkerr @icantsleepcauseoffandoms @minhocatboy @its-the-aerieljeane @tiltedmint @thoughtfullydelightfulgiver @vivalasvegasbaby @miyayane @china-yana @normalisthenewnorm @mer-majesty @kac-chowsballs @kodzuken-blog @dksfl920 @zaras-warudo @infantwomanjen @tabipleats @lowqualityline @blondealpaca @kenmas1mp @rae-k-018 @gushinim @sunarinsbb @dksfl920 @realityisabitch-blr @solarpanellol @nerdynstoned @keikluvv @kozutenshi @bakasbitch18 @manypreferences @divarooni812 @ushijimasbby @beepbeepval @kenmakai @graykageyama @liz-multifandom-hotel @hoodym @poopedinpants @haibaeron @tri-cerotops @k3nmaswa1fu @haijkk @imaginarysthings @byebeyeyeyye @something-that-idk @yesseiut @hkyuinique @miya-babyy @nekomastudent

#the cherry on top #kenma x reader #kenma kozume #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu kenma #kozume kenma #haikyuu smau series #hq x reader #hq kenma #writings

43 notes · View notes

missskzbiased · 4 years ago

Text

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (9)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader X Han X OC

WC: ~ 5K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness (?)

Notes: I won’t lie. I didn’t reviewed the last part lol Sorry, guys. But good news! I’m writing the chap 12 and things are going smoothly /o/

Updates: I’ll update it once a week [Tuesdays] because I still have to write the chapters to come and review the ones I already wrote

Tagging: @aliceu @thatrandomoneinthecorner

/////

You have never seen the Gym so damn crowded before.

You tried to make your way to the front seats ─ a difficult task as people didn’t seem to have a clue the bloody chairs were made to sit down ─ groaning as you got stuck between some people in the way, struggling to get past them. You turned your head around as you felt someone tap on your shoulder, searching who the hell thought it was a good time for chatting right now.

“I think I’m going to buy something” Paris yelled for you to listen, and you nodded to let her know you understood it. You watched her going back to where you just came from, shaking your head in disbelief as you wondered how she could put up with taking this route twice. Hyunjin pushed you softly, pleading eyes screaming he wanted to go to the seats as soon as possible, all those people around upsetting him.

“I swear to god I’m never coming with you ever again” He whined, holding your shoulder to not lose you in the crowd. You chuckled, pushing people around until you felt it was easier to walk through the aisle.

“Oh, I think I see Han” You mentioned surprised, stretching your neck to get a better view. Hyunjin followed your gaze, his height allowing him to see way better than you. He nodded, curving to get closer to your ear as he yelled his confirmation, letting you know that the small guy you saw next to a huge older man was indeed Han.

“Maybe it’s a scout or something? Should we go to him right now?” You mused, and Hyunjin shrugged, finally getting space to walk beside you and letting go of your shoulder.

“There’s just one way to know” He said before getting both hands cupping his mouth as he screamed, “Hey, Han!” The shout startled him, making him look through the crowd to spot who was yelling his name. You could see his eyes lit up as he spotted you, a bright smile spreading on his face as he waved his hand eagerly.

The man followed his gaze to spot you and Hyunjin; giving a bright smile that seemed exactly the same as Han’s. He waved more discretely, and you wondered if you ever saw him and just didn’t recognize him. You made your way to them, now far more easily than back to the entrance, which allowed you to quickly make your way down the stairs.

“Hey!” You smiled, clasping your hand with his as you pulled him to a half-hug, patting his back affectionately as you did “Prepared to humiliate those losers?” He chucked, letting go of your hand and straightening himself as the older man laughed wholeheartedly to your encouragement.

“That’s how you do it!” He approved, extending his hand to shake yours. You took a look at him, his obvious resemblance to Han didn’t let any doubt but he said it anyway “I’m his father” then smiled at you just like Han does. You smiled back, squeezing his hand politely but firmly, getting a proud smile as an answer “Nice handshake” He praised, and somehow you felt proud of it.

“Thank you, Sir” He chuckled, letting go of your hand to shake Hyunjin’s hand, seeming to approve of him too as he hummed satisfied “I’m Y/N and this is my friend” You pointed to Hyunjin, knowing you would get a jeer if you said they were friends.

“Oh, friends, I see…” He said suggestively looking at you and Hyunjin with a small smile “I never saw you on the photos he sends me” He admitted, looking at Hyunjin in wonder “Now, you are always there” He smiled fondly at you “I heard a lot about you and Paris from Champ! Didn’t she come?” He asked curiously, looking around.

“Champ?” Hyunjin blurted out, laughing and sending a teasing look to Han who just groaned, kicking his father’s leg lightly.

“Dad!” He hissed, making you laugh. His father laughed along, head-locking him and ruffling his hair as if he was a kid, letting him go as he looked all serious at Hyunjin, who quickly recomposed himself and stood straight, clearly afraid of his father.

“Is that a problem, buddy?” He asked intimidatingly, for which Hyunjin shook his head eagerly. Han’s father was way taller than him and maybe a head taller than Hyunjin. He wasn’t really build up but he was really fit for what you could imagine was his age; a large chest and defined arms suggested he kept up with some exercise routines.

He kept his glare at Hyunjin for a few moments, deadpanned, before breaking into a fit of laughter, patting his shoulder playfully and wiping imaginary tears from his eyes. You noticed Han trying to hide his smile, looking away, nudging him as you shared a knowing look and broke into a fit of giggles.

“Calm down, son” His father said to Hyunjin, smiling brightly. You chuckled as Hyunjin visibly relaxed, shoulders dumping and a relieved sigh leaving his lips “So Paris didn’t come?” He asked again, seeming disappointed, and you were fast to shake your head.

“She came! She just went to buy something” You explained hurriedly, looking around “She should be here at any minute…” You mused, starting to worry about her. Paris wasn’t exactly the best at finding seats or remembering her way. You glanced around for a few more seconds before returning your gaze reluctantly at them “Well… Anyway… It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir” You smiled politely.

“No, that’s my pleasure!” He waved his hand dismissively “I’m happy to know my Champ made some good friends here” He smiled proudly, looking at Han fondly. You fought back a smile, finding endearing how much affection you could see in his eyes “I didn’t think I could make it today… I had to ask a friend to cover for me at work but I couldn’t be happier! Meet Champ’s friends and see him playing here!” His eyes shone, kinda glossy, and you noticed how his voice faltered for a bit “I couldn’t be more proud” He added, emotional.

“You should be! Our team has been winning all the matches until now! Han doesn’t let a single ball hit the ground on his watch” You joked, getting a loud laugh from his father. You saw in the corners of your eyes how Han shrunk, embarrassed by your input, fighting back a smile as he rubbed his own arm, looking away.

“Well! I didn’t expect any less from my Champ!” He bragged as he laughed, pulling Han closer with one arm, his hand on his shoulder shook him a little bit, all proud, and you frowned as soon as you realized how nervous Han seemed to get “He’s following my steps” His father added, and you raised your brows, surprised “I was a player here too! This very same championship got me into a Team!”

Oh… So that was it.

Han was nervous about the match, obviously, and his father being a player couldn’t help either. You glanced at him, seeing how he seemed tense: Brows furrowing, head almost buried between his shoulders, lips pursed and eyes holding so many thoughts that for a moment you wondered if it really was Han.

You never saw him this worried before.

You opened your mouth to say something ─ anything that could help him to relax a bit ─ but your train of thoughts was interrupted by a loud Paris. You turned around; spotting Paris with a huge foam glove that could have easily at least twice her head size, a big #1 hanging from the index foam finger. You checked for the other reactions, glancing to see if they thought it was as random as you thought.

Hyunjin burst out laughing, hiding his face behind his hand, trying to not seem rude as he laughed his ass off at the sight. Han widened his eyes and arched his brows, surprised by the huge glove and the happiest Paris he ever saw, striding your way too much excited with her new accessory wobbling in the air. Han’s father fought back a smile, looking at you knowingly before looking at his own son.

“So… Is she your girlfriend?” He asked suggestively before Paris got close enough to hear it. You held back your laugh, looking at how flustered Han got, blushing as he straightened up, and shooting you some desperate looks before turning back to his dad.

“W-What?! Of course not!” It was like he just hit puberty ─ voice sounding high pitched and strangled ─, and his eyes went wide as he answered his father in shock “She’s just a friend! What the hell, dad?!” He floundered, nervous, and it was impossible not to laugh at him. You nudged Hyunjin, happy to see Han embarrassed like this to the thought of dating Paris.

They were so cute!

Hyunjin smiled knowingly as he looked at you, blinking and rolling his eyes as if he couldn’t believe your enthusiasm about something as simple as Han getting flustered. He wouldn’t understand! It was like your ship was sailing right in front of your eyes after a long time. You deserved that happiness and they did too!

“What is it? Family reunion?” Minho’s voice dragged you out of your mind, startling you “Meeting father-in-law?” He asked, smiling teasingly at you as he leaned on Han’s shoulder, showing their obvious height difference. You narrowed your eyes to him, ready to retort when his father gasped, looking surprised at both of them.

“Oh? Is he your boyfriend?” His tone was curious though not judging, and you suppressed a smile as Minho let his mouth fall agape, arm jolting to his side as he let go of Han’s shoulder. Hyunjin snorted, looking at Minho deeply satisfied by his bashful features, crossing his arms as he smirked at him.

“No! I’m his teammate, Sir!” He straightened up, bowing briefly “My name is Lee Minho and I’m a huge fan of yours” He extended his hand, holding his arm to show how much he respected him, which Han’s father took in a playful way, shaking his hand enthusiastically before laughing.

“You can always be a fan and a son-in-law” He pointed out, to which Minho blushed. Oh, Lord! You never thought you would see the Lee Minho ─annoyingly extrovert Lee Minho, who always teases you─ blushing to something like this. He cleared his throat, waving his hand effusively.

“No, no! Just a teammate” He assured, and this made you laugh. Han facepalmed, sighing tiredly at all his surroundings and looking at each one of you, defeated, as he cupped his forehead, making you nudge him with your foot to give him a thumb up. He’s great, you mouthed, smiling at him encouragingly, which seemed to have a good effect as he smiled back at you, rubbing the back of his neck shyly.

The moment was broken by his coach yelling on a megaphone, demanding his team to gather together and stop playing around. You chuckled when Minho and Han grimaced, looking at each other worried, waving to all of you before jogging to the court. You followed them with your eyes, clasping your hands together as soon as they reached their team.

“Okay, so let’s sit!” You decided, looking for the letters beside the seats, trying to spot your row. Han’s father seemed to ignore you for a bit, looking at Paris in silence for a few seconds, studying her foam glove for a moment.

“Nice to meet you, Sir, I’m Paris” She said abruptly, extending her other hand to him, probably realizing it wouldn’t be very polite to ignore your friend’s family. He smiled at her, shaking her hand excitedly before pointing to her gloves.

“Nice one” He raised his index finger, as to suggest he was joking about the number, and she seemed to like the awful joke because she returned the smile and gun-fingered him after snapping her fingers.

“Thank you! Nobody ever complimented my gloves… That’s a first!” You sighed, looking at Hyunjin to find him judging both of them just like you, grimacing as he darted his eyes between both of them. Han’s father was in stitches; hand in his stomach as he threw his head back to laugh. You raised your brows, looking at Paris, who seemed proud of her own joke, laughing along with him.

Well, at least they would like each other.

“Help me find the seats” You whispered to Hyunjin, giving him the tickets as you looked around, deciding to give both of them their bonding time. Hyunjin took the tickets gratefully, ready to walk away from their poor sense of humor “I can’t find the bloody row” You complained, looking for the letter on the ticket. Did they need to hide the damn information? Was it worth gold or something? Your College’s court was much better organized than this!

“What the fuck?” Hyunjin whined, looking confused at the ticket “Are they going to get paid if we don’t find it or something?”

Exactly your point!

“Oh, we must be on the same row! Han choose your seat too?” You heard Paris beam, looking at her own ticket as he talked to Han’s father. He took her ticket, studying it for a few moments before smiling.

“Come with me, we’re sitting together” He said, and you thanked God you wouldn’t need to find the damn row on those tiny letters. You followed him, sitting next to Paris, Hyunjin following right behind you. You crossed your leg as soon as you sat down, checking your phone for any new messages to wait for time to pass by.

It took a long time.

Hyunjin tried to make some small talk once in a while since Paris seemed really immersed in her talk to Han’s father and you stood there glancing at the court a few times, as you scrolled down the feed to distract yourself. You chuckled as you heard Han’s father explaining the general rules to her, certain that she would forget everything just like she did when Han tried to explain it to her.

“They seem nervous” Hyunjin mentioned randomly, risking a glance at you. He must be feeling out of place to try to have small talk like this, so you nodded, dropping your phone back to your purse before looking at him. All of them were finishing warming up, although some ─ like Han─ seemed to be a little bit distracted by their own thoughts.

“Well, it’s a decisive game after all… Some of them may get scouted to big teams and some of them may have to wait another year to get this opportunity again” You reasoned “It must be hard…” You looked at Han, who seemed way stiffer than his usual self before his matches. You never saw him so anxious, wide eyes darting to his father once in a while, lips bruised by his teeth, and clenched fists that turned his knuckles white.

Suddenly, all the players went to greet each other, placing themselves on their side of the court and preparing to take their positions. You bit your lips, excited, eyeing Han as he took his place in the middle of the court, attentive to the other team that would begin with the ball. Although he was nervous, you thought Han did a great job of reaching for the balls, saving a lot of nearly lost ones, and guaranteeing it didn’t touch the floor, letting his team works unworried.

The match was tight, and it didn’t surprise you that they needed to get to a golden set.

The sixth set was just as tight as the other ones.

You got up from your chair, cheering as loud as you could along with Paris and Han’s father, anxiously looking at the scoreboard. You fisted your hands when you saw the bright numbers 13/14, meaning your team was winning. One more point. Just one more. You pursed your lips as you watched Minho serve the ball, the tiny object crossing their court fast as a bullet.

To hit the net.

You shut your eyes, exhaling slowly, as the ball fell to the floor, giving the rival team an effortless point. You opened your eyes again, watching the score even though you knew the numbers would be shining with 14/14, sighing as you watched all the team rubbing Minho’s back to reassure him. He looked pissed off at himself, and you couldn’t blame him.

It could have been their victory right now.

The next point was faster than you could process. The boy from the other team ─someone with a huge 20 written over their shirt─ had been serving excellent balls until now and this time he didn’t miss it. He hit the ball hard and you could only see Han to the floor, the ball hitting it before he could get there and rebounding to fly quickly to the corner.

15/14.

Holy shit.

You saw Han stiffing on the floor, punching it angrily before getting up, throwing a look in your way, watching his father with a sad mien. You frowned, trying to yell the loudest you could to keep him focused but he didn’t seem to listen, lowering his head and pursing his lips as he had already lost. Everyone went silent, expecting the next serving.

“You can do it, Han!” Paris screamed, wobbling her glove in the air. You saw him scoff, giving a small smile but not averting his eyes from the Twenty-Guy, who once more made an incredible hit. Minho was the one who received it this time in a dig, screaming something you couldn’t understand as a tall teammate of his jumped like he was a damn building, spiking the ball for dear life.

Their Libero got it, diving beautifully to the ground as the setter got the ball, adjusting it for their hitter to spike it back. The block was immediate, and you almost cheered for the point you would get before the setter threw himself to the ground, setting it to someone else to hit. Those bloody piece of shit! Why couldn’t they miss the ball?

The ball flew back and forth as the rally went on. You stretched your neck to have a better view, eyes trailing to both sides of the court anxiously. Their setter was a mean human being. He jumped, ready to set the ball to someone else to hit, except he didn’t. He hit the ball to your side of the court, startling everyone. Han was the first to react, trained eyes connecting to the ball.

Then he hesitated.

You saw him diving, body colliding to the floor harshly, hand fisted and prepared to save that ball. A half-second too late. The ball hit the floor, right on the spot his hands rested now, and rebounded, announcing the last results.

16/14.

Their win.

As the other team cheered, hugging each other and running around the court ─ jumping and inciting their fans to cheer along with them ─, your team held their heads, sitting to the ground. Han laid there, face to the ground before his arm went to serve as a pillow to his forehead, his body totally mushy to the floor, completely devasted. He glanced at his father─ eyes holding a storm, concern dripping from them─ before he rolled and faced the roof, cupping his face in distress.

You could feel the disappointment from everyone to your side of the crowd, sitting back to your seat to sigh defeated. Han’s father seemed really sad about their loss, eyes worried and focused solely on his son, clearly concerned with how he was taking it. Paris lowered her hand, pouting as she held back her tears, her other hand quickly wiping them away from her cheeks, eyes focused on Han laid down on the floor. Hyunjin seemed alright, of course, since he wasn’t friends with him, although he seemed somewhat bad about the situation.

“Now what?” He asked out of nowhere, and you looked at him tiredly.

��Now we wait for him and try to cheer him up, I guess” You shrugged, looking at Paris.

“We should go there… Can we go there?” She sobbed, rubbing her nose to the point it got red. You watched her sympathetically.

“I don’t think so” You admitted, looking at Han’s father “Do you want to go there?” You suggested, and he shook his head slowly, seeming in deep thought.

“I think I’m heading home… He told me he was going to party after the match” He looked at you, pursing his lips “I think he’ll be embarrassed to talk to me right now… Maybe I should just go home?” He didn’t seem so sure about it, and before you could say anything, Paris held his shoulder, squeezing it.

“We’ll cheer him up, Sir” She promised, forcing a smile “You should go home, I think he wouldn’t want to show himself in front of you with that loss” He nodded, looking back at the court, sighing.

“Could you tell him I’m proud? It doesn’t matter if he couldn’t win this one… They played well, he did the best he could” He turned back to you, shrugging “I can make some phone calls… Try to get him somewhere…” He started rambling, and this time you stood up to take his hand on yours.

“Let it all to us, we’ll take care of it” You promised, and he nodded, getting up to head out. You sighed heavily, looking at both of your friends in wonder “So… How will we take care of him?” You asked worried, and Paris shot a look to Hyunjin immediately.

“You promised us a dinner” She pointed out “Let’s make it a party” She suggested, getting a scoff from Hyunjin.

“What do you guys expect me to do? Take him under my roof or something?” He laughed it off but neither of you laughed along with him.

////

Han fell to the couch with a loud thud, arm hanging in the air.

“He didn’t even bother!” He slurred, trying to lift his head from the couch and failing completely with a small thump sounding when he hit the armrest again “Jus’ lemme on the floor to run away” He whined, raising his arm to bring the drink back to his lips “Whada fuck? Who drank it?” He furrowed his brows as the lonely drop of alcohol got to his tongue, dropping the bottle to the floor.

You turned your head to Hyunjin, watching as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, clearly annoyed by a drunk man on his couch, complaining all night long about his father leaving him behind on the court’s floor. Both of you had listened to this rant on a loop for at least fifteen minutes for now and neither of you could handle it anymore. You fixed your eyes in the rolling bottle for a second, wondering why you had to decide to cheer Han with drinks.

“Who drank what?” Paris asked confused, raising her head off the ground, where she laid completely wasted, eyes glossy and face flushed. She paused, getting all giddy before letting a gurgle out, looking at Han from the corner of her eyes and grinning teasingly “Champ” She said out of nowhere, breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Great.

“Okay… Why exactly did I let you bring your friends here?” Chan asked from behind, sat down on the stool with his legs crossed, a glass in his hand. He gulped whatever he was drinking, eyes judging Paris and Han for a brief moment before turning again to you.

“I didn’t think they would get this drunk” You admitted and this time Hyunjin scoffed, getting up from the floor, where he previously sat cross-legged, grimacing at your wasted friends. He dusted his clothes; picking up a bottle from the coffee table and drinking it in one go, letting a satisfied sigh leave his lips.

“I swear to god, if he says his father left him on the ground once more, I’ll throw this shit to his head” He warned, bouncing the empty bottle in the air. Hyunjin wasn’t drunk but you couldn’t doubt that he would do it by now… You felt the urge yourself to just hit Han and let him sleep, shutting him up for the night.

“He left you?” Paris asked, looking at Hyunjin full of pity, which was enough to trigger Han once again. You let a heavy sigh, grabbing Hyunjin’s wrist just to be sure, looking at him in utter defeat. He lowered his eyes to you, ignoring Paris, who didn’t seem to understand a thing around her, and fixing his gaze on you for a second.

“Why did you buy so much alcohol?” He asked tiredly, rubbing his temple with his free hand, averting his eyes to Han once again, who couldn’t stop whining about his father.

“Because you were the one paying” You answered sincerely, and he seemed to find it funny because he let a chuckle, nodding his head in amusement.

“Of course” He agreed, watching the empty bottles on the floor “You’ll help cleaning up this shit” He threatened, which made you roll your eyes. Of course, you would help to clean everything up. Who did he take you for?

“If you pay me enough I can just hit him in the head and we can let him sleep on the couch” Chan suggested, grunting, resting his glass on the island before pressing his palm against his eyes as if he was with a horrible headache “You know what? I could do it for free” He changed his mind, looking at Han in deep displeasure.

“Should we just let them here? We could just sleep” You suggested, noticing how Paris got her eyes closed for a little bit too long before shooting them open, startled with her drowsiness “It would be way more simple” You pleaded, and Hyunjin raised his brow at you.

“What if they fuck on my couch?” You looked at him like he had grown a third head, grimacing and raising your shoulders in question, as he shrugged “Actually, I wouldn’t mind at all… If it means I won’t hear about that fucking floor again, I’m more than up to it” He gave up, his free hand grabbing the bottle he was still holding and placing it on the coffee table again.

This particular gesture made you realize you were still grabbing his wrist but before you could let him go, he twisted his wrist to grab your hand and pull you up. The motion was sudden enough to startle you, and you felt yourself bumping into him suddenly, way too close to him to feel comfortable. You cleared your throat, getting one step behind, glancing at Chan who chuckled at the scene.

“I’m more worried about you fucking on my couch” He teased, watching as Hyunjin slowly let go of your hand, calm enough to sneer at him, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, because helping someone off of the ground is like the hottest foreplay I know” He smiled obnoxiously to Chan, who laughed at him. You rolled your eyes, curving to pick up some bottles from the floor. It would be better if your drunken buddies could not trip over rolling glass and die while you slept peacefully.

“Well, I guess it’s fine…” Chan mused “I mean, we have a whining bitch and a drunken woman… What are the chances they would fuck out of nowhere? I’d guess up to zero” He reasoned, looking at Paris almost asleep on the floor, snoring softly. Han was still rambling something, apparently sleepless, but you couldn’t care less about what he was saying right now.

“Let’s put a blanket on the floor so she can sleep comfortably” Hyunjin suggested, not waiting for any of you to answer, heading to his own room. Chan looked at you, raising his brow in pleased surprise.

“They seem to be getting along quite well” He mentioned, and you nodded at him. Hyunjin and Paris seemed to click along these two weeks to prepare your assignment, getting way closer than you expected them to be. You watched Hyunjin coming back with a bunch of blankets, making an improvised bed beside the TV, far enough from the couch so Han wouldn’t step on Paris at night.

“Go there” Hyunjin muttered to Paris, nudging her with his foot. She didn’t move an inch, nuzzling in herself, making Hyunjin sigh tired “I won’t let them drink ever again” He whined, pushing her with his foot, rolling her on the floor until she reached the fluff blankets. She let a satisfied sigh, curling up there like a baby, and you smiled fondly at her.

“She’s cute” You said softly, looking at her.

Paris was just so soft and loving… You couldn’t help but be grateful for your friendship. She helped you a lot through the years, even though you knew it wasn’t enough to really heal you, it was good to know you had someone as close as her. Of course, you also had Chan, your best friend, and someone who helped you out through so many things in your life that you couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to live without him.

Still, you needed a psychologist.

If all those discussions you had with Paris and Hyunjin thought you something, it was that you needed help. Real help. Not the kind friends could give. You needed professional help to really deal with all the things you needed to get through. All the things that held you back for so long. You also needed money, so it wasn’t really an easy task.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by another whine.

“We lost it and it’s all my fault” Han slurred again, trying to turn around on the couch, so he would be laying on his side, but struggling to do so. You chuckled, trying to decide if you should help him out, give up on him, or just laugh at your drunken friend. You opted for the first, walking to the couch and helping him to get in a comfortable position.

“It’s not your fault” You reassured him, ruffling his hair softly before stuffing a pillow under his head. He hummed, closing his eyes and nuzzling on the couch.

“I’d have saved it” He slurred, too sleepy to understand what he was saying. You patted his head twice before finally walking away, going to stand beside Chan.

“Let’s just go to sleep or he’ll begin to loop this” Hyunjin pleaded, leading the way. You glanced one last time at both of them, smiling as you walked through the hall. Chan opened his door, and before you could enter his room, Hyunjin raised his brow “Do you want to sleep here? I can sleep with Chan” He suggested, and this made you laugh, exchanging a look with Chan.

“Please, it’s not like we never slept together before” You joked, nudging Chan. If one thing, what you did the most through your high school life as Chan’s friend was to sleep in the same room with him, as you didn’t have much room at your place. He laughed along with you, getting in his room.

“He’s feeling lonely ‘cause he doesn’t have a pretty girl to sleep with tonight” He nudged you back, making you snort. You followed him to his room, throwing Hyunjin a sympathetic smile.

“You don’t have it eit—“ He began to say, choking on his words as he glanced at your deadpan features, rubbing the back of his neck before grinning apologetically “Sorry, it was out of habit” You rolled your eyes, nodding at him.

“You’re lucky I’m sleepy enough to let it slide” You smirked, closing the door behind you. Chan walked to his wardrobe, getting some blankets that he carefully put on the ground, letting a thick layer of fluff fabric on the floor before looking at you.

“You’re taking the bed?” Chan asked, and you shrugged, not minding wherever you would sleep. He rolled his eyes, lying on the floor, letting you just one option. You made your way to bed, laying down and sighing relieved.

“I can’t believe it’s finally silent” You smiled, satisfied, before both of you fell asleep.

61 notes · View notes

shawoluvs · 4 years ago

Text

~check in tag~ I was tagged by the lovely @anyhao, and this is super cute so thank you~~

why did you choose your url? I chose my url because I am a Shawol and a Reveluv! At the time I'd been through several urls based on eras/songs and they only worked for a short while so I wanted something more permanent and SHINee are my ults while Red Velvet is the first girl group I really started following so here we go~ I actually have a list of other fandom combo names for urls though just in case~

do you have any sideblogs? I do indeed because I am one of those people who has to divide my interests in order to not get overwhelmed by them~ I have a general multifandom/literature/personal blog @lonesplendour and an anime/manga blog @kimitokara~

how long have you been on tumblr? A long time, like maybe 10 years???? I really got into tumblr when I was in my early teens 'cause other social media (idek if I count tumblr as social media pffttt) just wasn't cutting it. I've been on like all sides of tumblr at this point like rpgs, chaotic mess blogs, book blogging etc. etc. But most of those blogs no longer exist. Only one of them kinda does and I've not been able to access it for literally years 'cause I canny get into the email it's attached too and my 100000000000 attempts to get tumblr to help me out with it (like I literally once asked them to just like shut it down if I couldn't access it but no luck there) has just never worked so... that's fun...

do you have a queue tag? Nope~

why did you start your blog in the first place? As much as tumblr can be a mess I do really like it as a platform for seeing great content for my interests so basically when the blog mentioned above was no longer accessible (it's so maddening too like I just can't remember the password and I can't set a new one 'cause it's an old email I also can't access?????) I decided to make this one anndddd for a while this was a similar like multifandom, anything goes blog, but then I divided up after a while.

why did you choose this profile picture? I wanted a profile picture that related to my url and in my head it was so cute 'cause I was going to have this whole colour scheme like SHINee themed and have a header and icon that matched and then after hours of trying to make all these things I got tired and was just like "yes this version will do" and there we have it~~~ Like I don't hate my icon (my girls with SHINee lightsticks, what's not to love???) but it's just not... edited well... at all ejhrgbejrge but sometimes there's a vision and sometimes you create it and other times you sail right past it and wonder how you lost yourself on this other thing but no longer have the patience to try again so you settle for where you ended up and that's my icon right there.

why did you choose this header? ^same as above.

whats your post with the most notes? I went to check and it's this one. Which really just proves people are thirsty for Taemin.

how many mutuals do you have? Imma count. 96 on this blog specifically! Which is quite a lot actually, that's really nice~

how many followers do you have? 405 on this blog~

how many people do you follow? 266 pfffttt which honestly makes my mutual number even nicer 'cause it means like 1/3 of the people I follow are my mutuals~

have you ever made a shitpost? Tons. Strange of you to think I make much of anything else, honestly.

how often do you use tumblr? Pretty much daily. I don't necessarily actively reblog and post original content daily but I tend to do a daily check in of sorts~

have you ever had an argument or a fight with another blog? Not really though anons have tried to pick fights with me particularly on my anime blog, it's not something I really take seriously, it was generally ship drama and was so random like... good times honestly

how do you feel about “you have to reblog this” posts? someone telling me I have to reblog something immediately puts me off honestly, I know that's childish or whatever but like if it's important or something I like/care about I'll reblog it without the guilt so...

do you like tag games? Yesssssss~~~ so again, thank you for this tag~

do you like ask games? I do! I think ask games can be very cute but I don't do them that often, mainly 'cause I get embarrassed if I don't get any asks from it but equally if someone I follow is doing one I'm like "I can't send them an ask, that's so embarrassing!!!" so in other words, yes I do but also I am terrible at the whole concept

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I'm not sure how to measure tumblr fame, like is that by followers or...... cause honestly quite a few of my mutuals seem to have a lot of followers (as they should, they're lovely) but I also just don't know, I don't tend to ask them or know that about them because I don't care??? The whole followers thing isn't a big deal to me... notes on content on the other hand hahaha likeeeeeeeeee support content creators thanking you

do you have any crushes on any mutuals? No??? I mean ejhrbgjee I don't really know most of my mutuals very well (honestly 96 is nice but also like 96 people ejhgbjerge that's a lot for my anxiety to process, I've barely said two words to most of them, seriously I'm so sorry, it's not you it's me, you're all great) but also in general I've not had a genuine crush on anyone in........................................ years? so... fun times

I'm going to tag a few of my lovely mutuals, though obviously not all of them 'cause ejhrgbjere that's a lot, but anyway pls participate if you like and apologies again for probably never having even said hi to you~ @userseokkie, @lilbubtaemin, @eternallys, @joshriku, @babyseulgii, @fourseascns, @atinyhater, @ncityzen, @haechsan, @solaarflaree

#[ tagged ]#I'm sorry this is long #I'm not sorry for the colours they're great although some of this beta stuff does not sit right with me #as in I hate change and not even pretty colours can warm me to it #but anyway I hope you're all well and I'm sorry these tag things are the only time I interact with most of you ejrgbjhergbege #it's not you it's me... I just need some time to be on my own... you're great and you'll find someone who'll really appreciate you one day #I couldn't help myself it sounds like we're breaking up #also just noticed I did two orange answers in a row so editing that now hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa i swear

13 notes · View notes

here-we-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Fic interview tag

tagged by @clarasimone (thanks a lot! ^^)

Name: Mia

Fandoms I write for: Game of Thrones and currently also Loki (Jorleesi & Lokius xD)

Two-shot: (had to google that one, thanks urban dictionary) so, a two shot is basically the same thing as a one shot but with two chapters? cool. I don't write two shots, sorry to disappoint xD BUT I do have a favourite one written by someone else (@fanoftheknight) it's called Come Fly With Me (it's on Ao3) and man, it's great. the perfect Two Shot haha

Most popular multichapter: Jorah's curse - Daenerys Targaryen (also obviously on Ao3)... looking back it's not THAT great, just me writing my first fic ever and having to use a lot of translators and stuff because English is not my native language hA - BUT I must say, that I am indeed proud of it. It's SO LONG and I managed to stay motivated! I didn't only write the whole thing, no, I also translated it, so that's kinda cool yk (took me one year and a half but it was fun, so it was worth it xD)

Actual worst part of writing: Hard one, I never thought about writing having a bad part but right now I'd say finding the right words and formulations? because I sort of stopped writing stuff in German and then translating it, I simply write it in English right away. and that's really hard because my vocabular isn't that big (yet) and I just sometimes need to look words up - but then I can't remember the German word either and... ugh it's horrible lmao

How you choose titles: Me choosing titles is the most random thing ever. Usually it's one of the first thing I do when starting a new WIP. I basically get the idea and then I think of a fitting title. then I start taking notes. and sometimes I start writing after that xD

Do you outline: I know that there are apparently outlining methods but I usually just take notes of whatever comes to my mind and connect those ideas with more ideas? does that count?

Ideas I probably won't get to but it would be nice: ... a Jorleesi Pirate fan fic😶 seriously, I'm obsessed with that idea but I probably won't write it because I literally don't know anything about pirates or ships or how things worked back then... so... hmm :')

Best writing habits: I take notes on EVERYTHING. I'm a person who forgets a lot but thanks to those notes, I usually remember all my ideas. Oh and I'm very good at finding time to write. Doesn't matter where I am, I will find the time to sit down and write a bit as long as I really want to.

Spicy opinions: Ohhhh good question, this has been on my mind since days but I never made a post about it: I don't know that much about genderfluidity YET (currently questioning my entire existence which includes my gender identity and I think I might be genderfluid myself, anyway, that's not the point, what I mean to say, I still have a lot to learn and really don't want to offend anybody with this) but as soon as someone starts using different pronouns for the same character each sentence, I'm off. I mean, I get if you use different pronouns for each chapter or whenever a new day in your fic starts but PLEASE don't use them randomly, it's so confusing! don't get me wrong, I'm so here for pronoun appreciation and all, but it seems so forced (and unnecessary!) when someone shuffles the pronouns for a character every minute. Firstly: it's confusing and off putting. Secondly: As far as I know that's not how genderfluidity "works"? at least not for everyone xD But then again, write whatever you want, I'll read whatever I like, case closed

Tags: I once again don't know who to tag, sorry 💀

7 notes · View notes

zeawesomebirdie · 3 years ago

Note

Happy holidays!! I know you said you don't really celebrate Christmas, but I still hope you're having a good day <3

My brother wanted to gift me the Hux Pop figure (he couldn't find it so instead I have the concept Han one, which is pretty cool honestly) and honestly it made me feel so much better about being insufferable about Hux. I was so annoying about him all the time my family picked up on it and he remembered! That really makes me feel better about not shutting up about my latest obsessions haha (I gotta say though, that Hux Pop looks a bit silly, the pose of his arms isn't very flattering :( wish it looked as cool as most of the others)

Otherwise I wanted to say, please never stop talking in the tags, every time someone reblogs from me I check if they've added anything because it makes me so happy! Whether it's just random thoughts or adding onto the post or little details about you, I love reading it. Don't feel sorry about rambling in the tags, personal little tags are one of my favourite things on Tumblr (though I understand the self-conscious urge to go "I know you'll see this, hi", I do it too hehe)

Once again, have a good day, I'm handing you a mug of hot chocolate <3 (I know I could have just. Sent you a DM but it feels so weird actually going to talk to people directly lol)

Happy holidays!! Im assuming this has been sitting in my inbox for the last week but tumblr never bothered to tell me lmao im so sorry (/lh)

I dont celebrate Christmas, but my family does and I did indeed have a good day! My mom got me scrivener, which I've been wanting since I got my pc over the summer, and I've been working on learning it via finishing up my kylux bang fic. Its a really great program!! Its so much better than google docs for my writing process, and as silly as it is to use a professional novel writing software for fanfiction I think its really streamlined my process a lot.

Its so sweet that your brother remembered your interests!! I dont get to talk to my family all that often about Star Wars, they mostly find it very annoying, so its so great to see that your family doesn't mind and in fact can use that information for gift giving!!

I do agree the Hux pop looks a little silly, his pose is so >:( but like not in a good way lmao. At least he gets a pop figure though, right?? Like, for his less than 20 minutes of screen time /v lh

Thank you for the reassurance 👉👈 I do try to be mindful that the person I reblog from can see my tags, but ahh rambling lmao. I really appreciate that you dont mind, like !! I just have So Many Opinions and im so worried people won't like them 😅 like yes this is tumblr and we're all gonna have different opinions but ahhhhhh yknow lol

Anyway, im so glad to hear from you, I totally get that talking through asks is easier than dms so no worries there!! <33 and thanks for the hot chocolate!! I'll hand you one in return plus a hug and a nice warm blanket, have a lovely day and happy 2022!!

#asks #ahhh!!!!#hi friend!!#i love you!!!#happy holidays!!!!#like several days late lmao but!!!

1 note · View note

chuuhees · 4 years ago

Text

bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!!

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!!

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

#happy new year everyone i love you all;;;; thank you again!! hope 2021 treats you all nicely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#there's like a few mutuals i rlly do appreciate but didn't really have much to say to/abt because we haven't really . talked #i really do love all of you though!!!!!!!!!!;;;;;

16 notes · View notes

chappedandfadedvds · 4 years ago

Text

Jan 18th, Monday 12:22

Jens sat at the table next to Robbe. Aaron and Moyo across of them talking about some hot girl that moved next to Moyo. He wasn’t really following along. His mind kept trailing off or blanking out at random moments throughout their conversation. Currently he daydreamed while he picked at the carrots on his plate.

Lies had left very late last night and he had woken to an empty bed and his father had called him to confirm the time tomorrow again. Then there was still the ongoing silence from Lucas.

It wasn’t bad day per se, it wasn’t a good one either. It was all pretty meh.

A meh day.

That fit it best.

Robbe’s elbow suddenly poked his arm in an attempt for attention.

„What?“ Jens called, after the third time the pointy bone had dug into his side, a little annoyed at his best friend. Who knew well enough, that Jens didn’t felt like talking today.

„Your phone.“ Robbe only replied unbothered by the tone in Jens’s voice. And secretly Jens was relieved, he hadn’t meant to snap at Robbe.

„Oh.“ And indeed his phone’s screen had lit up from where it laid next to the tray on the table. „Thank you.“

„Anytime.“ His best friend said, but it wouldn’t be him, if he wouldn’t lean over to throw a glance at the notification. Jens had taken the phone and had tried to keep the message to himself, it just hadn’t worked.

Lucas 11:48: follow me

„Mysterious.“

Robbe’s reaction was ignored by Jens’s head darting up and around to search for the young boy inside the cafeteria. It wasn’t even as packed, as class times were off and some courses held online given the everchanging regulations.

So he spotted Lucas fairly quick.

Jens saw him standing next to the entrance, his gaze steady and it was hard to tell, if it would be something good or bad, as Lucas watched him rather indifferent.

„Go. And tell me later!“ Robbe decidedly commanded him, as he began to push up his best friend from the chair and Jens was inclined to sit back down, just to spite him. Instead he quickly grabbed his jacket and backpack to make his way over.

Lucas waited for him until he was just a couple steps away and then the younger boy turned around and lead them through emptied hallways. They reached the one that they usually had met up inbetween classes over the last weeks of school.

The two boys stood by the window and let their stuff fall to the floor.

Lucas looked out, while Jens’s eyes were strictly on him.

„I think, I’m done thinking.“ The younger boy declared. Suddenly his gaze on Jens, who was startled by his fear of what the conclusion would be.

His breath was short and his blood rushing through his body.

Please, Jens silently begged, let us be okay.

Without another word or warning, Lucas took Jens’s hand. The tips of his fingers fitted perfectly into his own palm, Jens thought, as he watched them holding onto each other.

„So does that mean we are not over?“ Jens asked soft-spoken while he looked back up.

„I’m afraid I’m incapable of breaking up with you Jens.“ Lucas replied, a smile tugged to his lips that made Jens’s heart jump, before he grinned himself. „Yes, you idiot, it means we are doing this.“

„Alright.“ Jens said, his grin growing brighter under the new light of the situation.

„But!“

And then it faltered again.

„But?“ Jens repeated in question, the uneasy feeling in his stomach back and more present than ever. But, wasn’t good, Jens decided. Lucas tilted his head with a sigh, as he squeezed Jens’s hand.

„Let’s maybe think about how we can figure out to talk to each other better.“

„Yes, yes of course.“ Jens immediately concured as he regained his poise. Anything. Jens would have been fine with anything and this wasn’t unachievable. They could manage that. Jens was pretty convinced of it.

„Alright.“ Lucas nodded, both indulging in the familiarity of their shared space. „And if we are doing this, then I want to say something.“

„Go for it.“

„So yesterday you have talked a lot about how scared you are to steal me of all the hook-ups and relationships and opportunities I could have, if I wouldn’t be with you. You made it pretty clear, that you were afraid I would start to resent you and though I can’t see into the future I want you to believe me when I say that that isn’t going to happen, okay? But obviously you are as stubborn as one gets and thus I was thinking and.“ Lucas’s free hand fished a neatly folded piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket, that he passed onto Jens. „Here.“

Jens’s eyes darted back and forth between the paper in his hand and the worried look on the younger boy’s face.

„What is this?“

„Sign it and give it back.“ Lucas only said, as he untangled his fingers from Jens’s The older boy confused by what was going on.

„What?“ Jens therefore provided quite dumbfounded.

„Just do it.“

„Okay.“

He placed the pen on the window sill next to them, and then proceeded to open the folded piece of paper. It didn’t say much, anything really. But there was a date and Lucas’s name and space for his. A single sentence above: Get out of jail free.

„This is my get-out-of-Jens’s-jail card, I get to pull it if I ever should feel trapped, like you say I will be some day. Hope it will make you feel better, now that I can just throw this at you.“

„You are ridiculous.“

Jens huffed a laugh, while he went to take the pen and put his signature down. He shook his head amused by the silly things Lucas apparently could come up with, as he handed the stuff back over towards the younger boy. Both of them smirking at each other.

„I know.“ Lucas simply proclaimed, looking rather pleased with himself.

„You are going to be a great lawyer.“ Jens said. And meant it.

„Oh about that.“ The younger boy suddenly seemed to be reminded of something. „Robbe and me have looked into universities to apply to and I’m actually thinking about applying to the one here in Antwerp.“

„What? Why? There are clearly better options for you, right? You are smart, you should go to the best one or something.“

Jens really didn’t wanted to see the younger boy’s potention to go to waste. Lucas should try to get the best education and chances out there.

„I’m not saying I won’t apply to others as well. Definitely including Leiden, but I actually like it here and I know that at least Kes will try to move to Amsterdam, so it isn’t that I’d go back to Utrecht anyway.“ Lucas explained, while his hand was back in Jens’s. „And you are here, of course.“

„I’m beginning to like your idea with the card you made. Because I’m really doubting you to make the right desicion here.“

It was dumb to stay for Jens. Not that the older boy wasn’t hoping to keep Lucas with him, also after this school year would be over. However, with Lotte, it was pretty clear that Jens wouldn’t move away anytime soon.

It also brought up a train of thoughts, that Jens wasn’t sure had seriously occured to him before. He had somewhat expected for Lucas to have to move back to Utrecht once his mom’s study ended. But that would definitely imply a long-distance relationship that Jens wouldn’t wanted to agree to.

So it would actually be nice, if Lucas would just stay. They wouldn’t have to break up.

But it also really wouldn’t be wise to accept a lesser renowned university, if Lucas could as well study in Leiden or in the Uk or somewhere else. Anywhere, where a name would open him doors in the future. And only to be with Jens, who wasn’t even sure what to do with himself after graduation.

„Jens, stop overthinking it right now. Please, just let me decide for myself, okay?“

Perhaps he had shown the conflict in his expression. Perhaps Lucas just really came to know Jens better than himself. And that was what Lucas had wanted after all. For Jens to no longer assume to know better.

„Okay.“ Jens agreed, trying to stop his mind from making a list, why that decision wasn’t a good one.

„Okay.“ Lucas said, while he leaned over to poke Jens’s nose with his. „Now. Kiss me, before we head back.“

Jens laughed, assured that he wouldn’t be able to say no, and followed the playful order that the younger boy had whispered against his lips.

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

#week 13 #wtfock #skam #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #chapped and faded #they back!#yay

13 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 4 years ago

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

3 notes · View notes

sideblogformindtrash · 4 years ago

Text

Just a reminder that at some point when writing this series I decided this is steampunk for the sheer fact that I wanted it to be but hasn’t come up until now.

Witch’s Familiar Masterlist

CW: Dehumanization; inquisition style execution mention; choking; multiple whumpees, some lady whump; whipping; mention of branding; gagging; restrains; blindfold;

…The sounds of the machines were loud and annoying to his ears, and he wanted to rest his head, but the irregular ground made the carriage jump and throw him around every few seconds. A heavy chain dangled from his neck, clanking every time the carriage shook over its wheels.

He was blindfolded, and that was infuriating. Not only did it make the other senses work better, it also meant he couldn’t look outside. If he tried, behind the disgusting smoke, he could sense a faint smell of nature. And he wanted to look at it.

Impatiently, he crossed his arms, letting an annoyed hiss escape from his throat. He hated this. He wanted to be outside and run on the grass, not be carried around on this awful mechanical thing.

“…Patience. We are almost there kitty” The General’s voice. Master. He who was holding the heavy chain, with a loose grip at this moment, but that could turn vicious at any second.

“…I want to look outside…” They said “Please…Master”

“That’s exactly why you are blindfolded little kitty. You have been so good lately and we don’t want you getting any ideas now, do we?”

After saying that, Master snapped his fingers, and this sent a shiver down his spine. For the past few weeks, The General had been doing that when he was punished or tortured. Just snapping his fingers. He was being Pavlov-dogged and he absolutely hated it, and hated that despite knowing what the General was doing, he couldn’t avoid but flinch every time he heard that sound.

He grinded his teeth and resisted the urge to hiss. If he could at least sleep… But no. He tried to focus on the faint nice smells, but the smoke was overwhelming. And the way the carriage kept shaking was extremely annoying.

“How long will we take?”

“…We are almost there. And if you don’t stop complaining I’ll muzzle you Kitty” General said, and he heard a page being flipped. The General was quite a literate man. And that made Roots hate him more.

He wanted hiss at The General. At Master. But he couldn’t. The threat of the muzzle was very real and… And it was better to cooperate and be treated better than to let the general just drag him around and end up doing everything he wanted anyway. He was supposed to be on a cage, on top of the carriage, but General gave him a chance to be inside and maybe he should be good and accept it.

With a sigh he put his head on the window, and the stupid carriage shook again making him hit his head on the glass.

“Ouch…” He complained, and heard an amused chuckle in response.

But soon enough the carriage did stop. He was pulled out into a floor of cold, smooth stone. The General handed the chain to someone else it seemed, as his voice started to get more distant.

He waited, keeling with hands on display and a desire to bite at this person. He would never do that to master, but just some random guard…

However before he could do it the chain was yanked forward, and he struggled to crawl. He was pulled down a spiral stairway, into a place cold and dark, safe for the torchlight.

“Thank you” Master said to the person, now grabbing the chain again. Something was off. The smell of blood, the sound of breathing. The general fondled with his hair a bit before removing the blindfold.

…It was a dark, cramped prison cell. In front of him, three woman were tied up, all of them wounded, gagged and staring with wide, vacant eyes. Roots steps back, but the General pulls him closer.

“W—what-“

“Kitty” The General interrupted “This three women in front of you have been appointed as suspects of a case of witchcraft that has been happening on this village. One of them is the culprit, but so far, out more… traditional methods wielded no result. It would be a shame to try and murder innocent woman for this crime, but we can never know for sure who is or isn’t a witch.”

The General smiled, viciously, at the shocked kitty.

“But you can”

His eyes widened as he pulled away again, despite the collar choking him. No. He would not. The mark burned on his chest was enough of a disgusting treason, but this? He wouldn’t turn on his people, he would never-

The general touched his chest, nails digging into his scar.

“You are mine now kitty. You are one of us and must never forget it”

“NO!” He yanked, trying to run to the stairs. The General effortlessly yanked him back “No! You cant do this! They don’t deserve to die!”

“…The two innocent ones? No they don’t indeed. So why don’t you point us the witch little kitty?”

“This… This is cruel. They never hurt anybody! It isn’t fair”

With a harsh kick to his ribs, Roots falls to the floor. The General pulls at the chain, enough to choke him, and holds him up while he trashes until his face went purple. Once released, he falls to the floor, chest wheezing.

“…You don’t get to pass on judgment” The general leans closer, so much his voice is a whisper “…If you don’t pick one, all the three of them will do the dunking chair tomorrow. You don’t want that, do you?”

Master caressed his face “…And of course you’ll get a few more lashes on your back kitty.”

He shook his head. He didn’t care about being hit right now, he would take it! But he couldn’t… He couldn’t just let all of them die! Every single one of them… Would sink regardless of their powers.

He took a good look at the women as the general approached them, treating them with the same disdain he treated his kitty. Damn… they were all so young. And… not one of them was a witch. He sighed, in relieve. Maybe they could all get out of this one.

“-n-n-n-one of them are wi-witches M-master…” He whispered, looking at the floor. All the three seemed awfully relieved by hearing that, but that lasted just until Roots was kicked again “I knew you would try this pet”

…He was pushed against the wall still on his knees. A strap of leather on the corner of his vision-

“I-iit’s true! I’m not-“

He was silenced by the first lash. Now that he had public he didn’t want to cry. But he had no more resistance left, the whip opening old wounds and digging pieces of skin, and he knew just how bad this could get. He tried to keep it quiet.

“Count-“ The General ordered, and he whimpered.

Ten. Ten lashes, he counted, voice trembling.

“…Ten more once we are home” Master said, hitting the whip in the air, close to the women’s faces. The way they flinched told Blue that they knew very well what that leather felt like.

“So… which one Blue?”

He hugged himself, going back on his knees. They all stared at him in fear and silent begging. None of them was a witch. There was nothing wrong with being one but it also meant that no matter who he picked, they would die as something they were not. And they would be remembered like that.

“Master it’s… its true… none of them-“

“…I guess you want the other ten now, Kitty.”

“No, please I-“

But he was pushed back on the wall, and the whip came down hard once again. He lost the first few, and Master made him start counting again.

…He didn’t stop after ten. It just kept going for a while, and he gave up on not crying. Once he fell down, Master lifted his face on the tip of his foot. Roots sniffed.

“Are you ready to speak now?” Master lifted him by the hair forcing him to look at the women once again. They were crying. He had to pick one or they would all die.

…The chair was… was better than the fire. But if he accused one of them, she would be burned wouldn’t she? He felt tears running through his skin, mixed with sweat and blood.

With trembling hands, he pointed to what looked to be the oldest of them, and kept his gaze on the floor. He couldn’t stand looking her in the eye, as the immense fear and incredulity consumed her. The general petted his kitty before calling the guards to take the woman upstairs and release the other two.

tag: @talk-to-rock @yet-another-heathen

#whump #oc whump #whump writing #roots and nepthys

14 notes · View notes

ethelphantom · 5 years ago

Text

Into the... Wait, we’re all what now?

As it turns out, I’m horrible at keeping things as one-shots, so now you’re getting a continuation of the fic in which Mari falls into the DC verse. Using Maribat March is definitely a wonderful way to continue these things. Also, yes, this means you can ask to be tagged to the story from now on. There is at least one more thing to write about this if not more.

Ao3 || first part

This is Maribat -- don’t like; don’t read

______________________________

It was way too late to be up and awake but apparently, that was precisely what Marinette was anyway. Sighing, she pushed the covers aside, slipped on a pair of fluffy socks and made her way to the kitchen through the seemingly endless halls of the Wayne Manor.

As she got into the kitchen, she checked the clock from the microwave oven. It was only 3.29 am. Damn it. She hated the fact she couldn’t sleep. She also hated the fact they hadn’t yet figured out a way back to her own world. The Amazons didn’t know anything about the miraculous — her own world was a cartoon in their world, it turned out, and she kind of knew her partner’s identity, as well as Papillon’s and Mayura’s identities, which, poor Chaton. Hopefully, the Parisians were doing fine without her there to capture and purify the Akuma —, though Wonder Woman had said she could still try to look further into it.

She was glad that Diana had promised to do that because Marinette really would have preferred to be home, especially since speaking English all the time got very tiring. There weren't many people she could speak French with, not really. Dick knew some French, Bruce could speak French, and Tim was able to hold up a simple conversation for a while, but it... It wasn't really enough.

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy being with the Wayne family, no. She loved the family and kind of considered them her other family aside from her Maman and Papa. She’d even been officially adopted to the family in their world’s eyes so it wouldn’t confuse anyone as to why a random girl suddenly hung out with them without dating any of them. It had been Tim’s idea, Bruce had decided it was a good one, and then they’d asked Marinette if that was something she was okay with. She was. It wasn’t like her family was in this world or universe anyway, and it was nice to know she belonged somewhere. Besides, she fit the pattern — black hair, blue eyes. The only ones who didn't have both but had black hair anyway were Cass and Damian, really.

It was a little amusing that the only one who was actually related to Bruce looked like him the least if they ignored his facial structure.

Quietly, she tiptoed around the kitchen, having already given up on the idea of sleep at this point. She made night snacks for herself and poured herself a cup of coffee, sighing happily as she inhaled the bitter smell of it. The coffee was scalding hot as she took a sip — just how she liked it. The drink warmed her hands as she held the cup which was nice, seeing as the Manor was rather cold at night.

Marinette settled herself at the small table in the kitchen that was mostly meant for anyone who really, really didn’t want to eat with the rest of the family and opened her phone, meaning to go through her Tumblr feed and maybe watch Netflix. She'd even been ready to just start watching a new show when she was interrupted.

What caused the interruption was someone trying to get a mug out of the cupboard quietly and instead dropping one on the ground. Thank god it was the sole plastic mug in the entire manor, so nothing broke.

Marinette turned to look at the source of the voice and found Tim staring at the ground with what looked like grief in the dim light of her phone. She would’ve understood if there was coffee or if it had been Tim’s favourite mug (as that one could be broken — Jay had threatened to do it once or twice by now, actually), but no. Nothing was broken, nothing had spilt on the ground, nothing needed to be cleaned up.

So what was it?

When Marinette raised her eyebrow at Tim as he finally looked at her, Tim just sighed and shook his head. “‘S nothing, Nette, don’t worry ‘bout it,” he told her, crouching to pick up the mug. “Haven’t slept much, nothing more than that. I thought there had been coffee for a second.”

Marinette nodded, understanding what he was on about, and continued reading. It was only when Tim dropped down on the chair in front of her that she paid attention to him again. He had his laptop out and was frowning at his screen.

“A case?”

“Yeah. A series of murders, three robbed stores, riddles and a string of witnesses that refuse to say anything kind of scream multiple of our villains, and I’m not sure who to investigate first, or if it was a collective effort of theirs, or if someone is impersonating them and trying to frame all of them. None of them has claimed the crimes either, which is a little unusual and a lot disturbing,” he told her and turned the screen around for her to see. Indeed, there was a list of possible culprits and the chance of an unknown and the details of the crime.

“I can see why this is troubling you,” Marinette sighed and turned her eyes from the screen back to Tim again. “I cannot believe I’m suggesting this, but what if you slept and then looked at it again? I know you tend to try solving problems even in your dreams, so there’s that as well, but also your brain might want to brain better after sleeping.”

It took her a moment before she realised what she said, but when she did, she groaned and rubbed her hand on her face. “I can’t believe I just used a noun as a verb. Please kill me or knock me out so I could sleep.”

Tim just laughed at her. That asshole.

“What are you two doin’, drinkin’ coffee at this hour?”

Marinette jumped, startled that someone had managed to sneak up on them even in the silence of the night. She turned around to see the slightly glowing eyes of Jason and let out a sigh of relief, bringing a hand to her hear. “God, Jay, you scared me. A guy your size shouldn’t be allowed to move so quietly,” she whined and let her forehead hit the table. Jason only barely managed to snatch her cup away from her way so it wouldn’t fall down and that all her coffee wouldn’t end up on the floor.

She murmured her thanks into the table as Jason patted her head, laughing at her quietly. She would kick his ass in the morning for that. Maybe. After all, he had just saved her coffee.

This time, Marinette noticed when someone entered. She couldn’t bother to turn her head to look at them, though. They would make themselves known to the rest of them soon enough.

No, actually. There were two people. One of them had a very soft walk, barely audible, but now that Marinette was listening, she was able to find it. A hand touched her hair, gently pushing it away from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. When Marinette looked up, just a little, she found the dark eyes of Cass staring at her. Marinette gave her a weak smile in return.

They don’t talk, not really. The time passed by as Cass just sat on the floor next to Marinette, Tim tried to solve his case, and Jason and Dick were talking (or fighting) about something in hushed voices again. None of the others, except for Cass, obviously, because she noticed everything, paid attention to the small frame that appeared in the doorway. Marinette did. She stood up, stretched and walked to Damian.

She didn’t touch him. She wasn’t sure if it was okay right now. Instead, she watched for any signs of what had happened, or reactions to anyone in the kitchen. Nothing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Damian shook his head. “No. It was merely an unfortunately timed nightmare, I can survive.”

“I know you can. You’re strong like that. It just doesn’t mean you have to survive on your own, alone. It’s also a strength to recognise when you—,” Marinette yawned. She hadn’t slept in a too long time. “—When you need others for support.”

When Damian lingered in the doorway a little too long, his eyes going between the floor and Marinette. Marinette just opened her arms and let Damian walk into them before embracing him. “Do you want a hug? I can tell none of them you wanted a hug if that helps. We can also go to the living room if that sounds better?”

Damian nodded. Marinette shot Cass a text to drag the rest of them to the living room in about half an hour with pillows, blankets and mattresses. They all needed sleep, or at least rest, and maybe they could get that in a pillow fort?

The two of them went on ahead, and once they were there, Marinette sat on the couch and waited for Damian to come there with her. He, a little reluctantly and hesitating a lot, took careful steps towards her before he too was sitting on the couch and curling up against Marinette. She smiled and pulled him closer, securing them under a blanket.

Maybe he’d feel safer from the nightmares this way.

About half an hour later (though both Damian and Marinette had dosed off already), the rest of the family made their way to the living room, everything Marinette had asked from Cass with them. They built a pillow fort for them as quietly as possible, one of them always watching over Damian and Marinette so to make sure they didn’t wake up. Heavens knew both of them needed the sleep, and they didn’t want to try their luck and see if they would fall asleep again.

After it was done, Jason picked Marinette up in his arms as Dick carried Damian in his, and carefully laid them down on the mattresses before tucking both in. Tim and Cass curled up the closest to the two, Jason and Dick surrounding the smallest four of them the last. It was comfortable and much warmer than it usually was in the house, six bodies all huddled close.

Aside from how none of them knew how to not sprawl over everyone else, it was the most peaceful and well slept night any of them had had in years.

________________________

@kris-pines04 @thethirdwheelfriend @maribat-is-lifeblood @abrx2002 @persephonebutkore @rebecarojas07 @corabeth11 @kadmeread @silverwhiteraven @marinettepotterandplagg @freshbark @maribat-march2020 @catsandfanfic @fertileleaf @eat0crow @cutechip

#Into the DC verse #Maribat #ml x dc #dc x mlb #dc #miraculous ladybug #ml #fanfic #fanfiction #ethel's writing

120 notes · View notes

ladynestaarcheron · 5 years ago

Text

Like Pristine Glass - Chapter Sixteen

ao3 - ff.net - masterpost

(tagging these cuties: @humanexile @skychild29 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @candid-confetti @rhysandsrightknee @missing-merlin @azriels-forgotten-shadow @books-and-cocos @sezkins79 @city-of-fae @someonemagical @dusty-lightbulb @messyhairday-me @rinad307)

hey, y’all! here is chapter sixteen, and the longest one yet! (and probably ever.) normally i feel like i have a lot to chat with you about, but i don’t have much this time, so...thanks to @thestarwhowishes for betaing and you for reading, and i hope all y’all stay safe!!

---

December 18 - 4 years after

The park tires them out completely, so Nesta and Cassian lay the children down for a nap before dinner.

"It's a new restaurant," Cassian tells Nesta. "Very up-and-coming. But we have a private room for us."

"Who's us?"

"Your sisters. And us."

"All right." Nesta doesn't ask about the others she still hasn't seen. Azriel, Morrigan...Amren.

Cassian takes a deep breath. "There's something you should know. About who's coming to Solstice."

Nesta freezes. She already knows who's coming—all of Feyre's new friends (although she supposes they're not so new anymore)—her husband, obviously, Morrigan, Azriel, Amren. Amren's...paramour. If they're still together.

"It's Emerie."

Nesta jerks backward. Emerie? "Em...from...why is she coming?"

Her employer, her...friend. Sort of. Nesta had not been in the right mindset to properly have a friend; she did not treat Emerie the way she treats Amorette, but she might have gotten there. If she had not left.

"She's actually...well, this isn't her first Solstice with us. She's not really spending it with us, honestly. She's spending it with...Mor."

She blinks. With Mor?

"They're together. They have been for a few years now, actually."

Nesta could not have been more shocked if he had told her he was going to leave to move in with Maz. Two of her worlds colliding in such a bizarre way, such an unexpected match. It all dawns on her slowly: if Emerie is with Morrigan, and she has come here, to Velaris, for Solstice with all of them, then she knows Feyre. She knows Elain. Had they spoken of her?

And what is Emerie doing with someone like Morrigan, anyway?

She doesn't voice any of this to Cassian. "All right."

He studies her carefully. She can feel his eyes tracing every minute movement. "Are you upset?"

"No," she answers—truthfully, because she's not. She's baffled. And disappointed in Emerie's taste.

She supposes she doesn't have any right to be upset. She can't exactly see this as a betrayal, for Emerie did nothing to deserve Nesta leaving and following silence. And, well, she never exactly spoke of the quiet, violent mutual loathing she and Morrigan shared. Not with Emerie, at least.

But still, Emerie can do better.

She keeps this to herself, though. Cassian loves Morrigan, she knows this.

"What exactly is the itinerary?"

"Well, I thought we could just show the children Velaris," Cassian says, "with your sisters, maybe. And then Solstice at Feyre and Rhys'. Was there...something in particular you wanted to do?"

Does she want to see someone outside the mandatory Solstice she signed up for, he means. And the answer is no, most certainly not. Or, well, it was, before she knew Emerie was going to be here. But perhaps Emerie doesn't want to see her. So she just says, "No, that sounds all right," and tries to find something to busy herself with until it's time to go to dinner.

When they finally do go, Cassian holding Avery and Nesta holding Ollie and Nicky walking between them, Nesta can see that the place is indeed popular. It's in an area of Velaris she doesn't know very well—not close to any of the establishments she frequented while living here years ago—but there's a rather large crowd of people waiting outside. Reservations are probably booked more than just a few days in advance.

A perky red-haired female at the front leads them to a private room, where Feyre and Elain are already waiting. Elain leaps up when she sees them and throws open her arms for Nicky to run into.

"I missed you!" she says, laughing, and pulling Avery and Ollie in for a hug too. "Hi, Nesta, I missed you too!"

"You as well," she says, a bit curtly, even to her own ears. But she kisses Elain on both her cheeks and gives her a small smile as she sits down.

"This place is really amazing," Elain tells them.

"It...looks nice," Nesta says, gazing around. It does look nice, but all restaurants do. None of the stained glass lampshades warrant waiting outside to be seated, in her opinion.

"I've never been to a restaurant before," Nicky says, excited.

"Nicky, don't be ridiculous, of course you have."

"Not all the way across the sea!"

Nesta catches Cassian's eye and stifles an eye-roll as he grins.

"He's right," he says.

"Quite."

"Are you three excited for Solstice?" Feyre asks the children.

"Yeah, we're so excited."

"Our friends are not here," Nicky says.

"Oh, I know, but we're here! That'll be fun, right?"

"Right!"

"Are you excited for Solstice presents, Ollie?" Elain asks him.

He blushes and nods, looking down at his lap.

"Ollie wants a caterpillar," Avery informs Elain.

"A caterpillar? Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see what we all get."

Nesta bites on the inside of her cheek. In a rather unprecedented move on her part, before leaving Sugar Valley, she had purchased gifts for her sisters and Cassian as well. She had spent probably a month discussing her thoughts with Amorette on the matter (that is, blathering on while Amorette offered her sympathetic support), came to the firm decision that she was not buying any gifts, and then suddenly rushed out the day before they left to buy things. She still isn't sure what came over her.

"So, I thought tomorrow we could go see my gallery," Feyre says. "You three like to paint, don't you?"

They chatter in excitement, eager to see all the things their aunts and father are promising them. Nesta loves to see them like this, bubbling over in happy anticipation. But she swallows hard as she watches them—they are so good at this, Cassian, Elain, and Feyre. It comes so naturally to them; joy and cheer and infectious laughter. And she has to work so hard at it.

Jealousy writhes inside her, like nothing she's ever felt before. Disconcerting, to say the least—but this was never her holiday season.

---

December 27 - Year of

The heavy snow that winter always brought into their tiny village was nothing compared to the blizzard that hit the Illyrian mountains; and Emerie assured Nesta that it happened every year. Nesta was sure that this meant Cassian would not be coming back any time soon—how could he fly in this?—but she saw the legions take to the skies day after day, and eventually, it was Cassian soaring down. She hurried away from the window and threw herself into her favorite spot on the couch, opening her book to a random page and pretending to read.

She felt him approach the door, felt his hand linger for a moment too long on the knob before opening it.

"Hey," he said, stepping inside. "I'm back," he added.

Nesta did not lower her book, but raised her eyes to look at him. There was snow stuck in some crevices of his wings, ice in his hair.

He grinned when he saw her eyes tracing him. "Still reading that?" He nodded towards her book.

"Re-reading," she lied. "It was good. And I'm out."

His grin widened as he crossed over to the fireplace. "Is that so?"

She didn't answer, only tensed as she saw he was going to light a fire, and braced herself for the snapping sound, like the cracking of a neck, her father's neck.

"Don't know how you stand sitting here without it," he said, more to himself than to her. "Well, anyway," he continued, turning around, "I guess I made a—what's wrong?"

Nesta jerked her head downwards to the book, forcing herself to concentrate on counting the letters on the page. "Nothing."

"Is it..." He didn't finish his sentence. She knew what he was thinking. He had only just come back; how was she already distant?

She couldn't bring herself to say anything. He wanted the fire burning, of course he did, he was freezing. It was normal. This, this fear of the mundane, was not. She had conquered her—it still mortified her, even to think it—aversion to baths, but there was no way to ease into hearing something. You either lit a fire or you did not. Striking a sole match did not make noise. The bonfires Emerie had dragged her hadn't been much help, either, for they had not gone close enough to hear anything over the noise the hundreds of Illyrians had been making.

She was up to thirty-seven when Cassian put out the fire.

"You're hogging all the blankets," he said. "Give me one."

Wordlessly, she pushed one off her, letting him take it as he sat next to her. She couldn't meet his eyes—how had he known?

"So, I guess I made a good choice. With your Solstice present. If you're rereading this garbage."

Now Nesta did look up, to see him smirking at her.

"This isn't garbage," she said, closing the book. A present...she didn't think he was going to get her anything. Especially since she hadn't exactly accepted his present last year.

She hadn't gotten him anything. The thought hadn't even occurred to her, really. What would she even get him?

"It's in the bag," he said pointing to something he had dumped by the front door.

Definitely not what he had gotten her last year, then. A much bigger bag than anything he had had on his person last year.

Nesta wrapped one of the blankets around her as she went to see what it was. She slipped out a box, wrapped in deep blue paper, and brought it back to the couch.

It felt rather heavy. She figured it was books.

"Open it," he encouraged.

She did, careful with the wrapping. A brown box, with the words NightWrite printed in swirly lettering. She looked up at him.

"Open it!"

She did. There was indeed a book inside, but that wasn't all. There was a candle, coffee scented, a set of rather fine pens, a beautiful, leatherbound notebook, a bar of what she knew was some of the Night Court's finest chocolate, some little flowers she thought might be soap, and a few other small things. There was a card, too.

"A subscription?"

"For the female who reads. Well, that's their slogan, anyway."

A book each month, she read. And different things along with it.

"You can choose the books in the next months. But I chose the first one. I think you'll like it. It's children's stories...I knew some of them, growing up."

It was...incredibly, surprisingly thoughtful, first of all. The kind of thing she would never think to buy herself, because she wasn't aware anything like this existed. And it would come every month. Which...while she was here...meant a lot. Every month, a new book, just for her. Along with all this other...stuff. Stuff she liked.

She looked up at him. "Thank you."

He pulled back—was he surprised? But he moved closer to her, after a moment. "You're welcome."

They didn't say anything else for a short while, but then Cassian told her he was going to take a shower, and she said she would get started on dinner, and they both turned to their respective new tasks.

But her eyes kept wandering in the direction of his bedroom, and she knew he was staring towards the kitchen.

---

December 20 - 4 years after

While her fellow townspeople in Sugar Valley are probably wreathing sugarberry crowns around their heads, Nesta is cleaning Cassian's kitchen. He's spent the past few days referring to it as their home, but that doesn't sit quite right with her. The location is wonderful; close to the shallower areas of the Sidra, all the necessities, and a park. But it's still in Velaris, and this isn't Nesta's home.

Tonight is the first time Nesta has had some proper time to herself since she's gotten here. Cassian has not left her side until a few hours ago, when some unexpected work came off and he had to leave before dinner.

It's not exactly uncomfortable, this never ending domesticity, it's just odd. Having him at her side all waking hours of the day. Not even Illyria had been like that.

The shift into it had been strange, and now the lack of anyone around her, the complete silence, is rather jarring, so Nesta doesn't even pause to wonder who is at the door when she hears the knock; just goes to open it.

And there she is: ink black hair braided over her shoulder, brown, wide set eyes unblinking, smooth brown skin seemingly unaffected by the cold—no trace of red in her cheeks, no raised hairs. But there is a slight quiver in her scarred wings that gives her away.

Emerie.

The pair don't say anything for...Nesta doesn't even know how long. But Emerie recovers first, and she says, "Can I come in?"

And Nesta, opening the door wider, says, "Of course," like this is a normal calling, like she's been expecting her.

The Gilameyvan hospitality Aysel, Miri, and Zeyn have carefully taught her escapes her now. She offers no tea, doesn't take her coat...Amorette would be disappointed. She likes to think Nesta's made progress.

"So," Emerie says finally. "You had children."

Who had told her, Nesta wonders. Was it Morrigan? "Yes. Three."

Emerie nods, looking around the living room, where they both stand. There's a bit more to look at than there was when Nesta arrived a few days ago—the children had picked out a painting from Feyre's gallery to hang on the wall—but not nearly enough to warrant the heavy silence.

Nesta doesn't like to talk about what doesn't concern her, so she doesn't ask about Morrigan. She doesn't need to, though, because after another minute of quiet, Emerie says, "I'm with Mor now."

"I heard," she says.

"I think you might like her, actually."

Nesta bites her tongue. Emerie notices.

"I meant if you two knew each other. Really. I know you both," she adds. Then she frowns a little.

"Emerie..."

Where to begin? Nesta's got no shortage of mistakes in her repertoire, but before her stands the result of one she is particularly sorry for. Emerie did nothing wrong.

There's a bluntness that must run in the veins of the Night Court people, because when Emerie says, "Why did you leave?" her voice is not accusing, but low and flat and hollow.

"Sit down," Nesta says, finding a spot on the couch herself.

Emerie sits, folding her skirts in as she does so. Nesta's lips tug upwards slightly. Despite being with Morrigan, Queen of the Dream Court, Emerie is still bedecked in her Illyrian simplicity. Does it drive her spare, what with her inclination towards those strips of crimson silk she calls dresses? Or does she like it, seeing Emerie as some kind of peasant fantasy?

Emerie doesn't repeat herself, but she sees the question etched in her face.

She's not cut out for these sort of conversations. She doesn't speak her mind, doesn't directly address any issues on the table. So if Emerie had done this to her, she would've just ignored it—perhaps pretended like it never happened and acted distant, perhaps never spoken to her again. But she's in the wrong here, and Emerie deserves what she wants: an explanation.

So Nesta steels herself, takes a deep breath, and tries to summon what Cassian had once seen in her. "I know I hurt you, but my leaving had nothing to do with you. I'm sorry." Then she holds her breath.

Emerie's eyes wander around the room. "Oh," she says finally.

Oh? Is that it? Emerie's not one for passionate displays of emotion—one of Nesta's favorite things about her—but she'd expected more of a dramatic response.

"So why did you leave, then?" she asks again.

Nesta blinks. "I couldn't stay. I thought...I deserved more."

Emerie is quiet again. "So why didn't you say anything to me?"

"I thought you'd talk me out of it."

"Well, you should've known better than that." There's not any sympathy or sharpness in her words. They're just there, black on white, clear as day, honest.

Nesta flinches. She's right. Emerie has only ever told her to do the smart, right thing for herself. By way of poorly formed metaphors about her own regrets, maybe, but nonetheless. "I'm sorry."

"I should go," Emerie says, standing.

Nesta stands too. "I'll walk you out."

Every step is painfully awkward and also just painful. She never meant to hurt Emerie, but she's not sure how much that's worth.

Emerie stops abruptly at the front door. "I'll meet them tomorrow?" she asks.

"Meet whom?"

"Your children."

"Oh," Nesta says. "Yes. Well. If you'll be there for dinner."

"I will."

"Then...yes."

"All right," Emerie says, then leaves. She doesn't look back, but Nesta can't stop staring at her.

When she finally does manage to tear herself away from the front windows, long after Emerie has disappeared from sight, Nesta drags herself to bed, glass of wine in hand. She knew a trip to Velaris and all it brings might trigger some...old habits of hers, so she makes sure to leave the bottle downstairs in the kitchen and sip slowly.

She hears Cassian come in a half an hour later. He finds her in her room, staring unblinking out onto the dark waters of the Sidra.

"Nesta?" he asks.

"Oh, hello," she says, not moving her eyes.

He walks over and sits on the bed, blocking her view. "Are you all right?"

She focuses on his face. His eyebrows are pulled together, his lips pressed. "What's wrong?"

She drains what's left in her glass and sets it down on the nightstand, then lays herself down on the bed. Tucking a hand underneath her head, she pulls her hair from its ties and braids and sprawls it out.

He lies down next to her maneuvering his wings so they aren't touching her. "Emerie came?"

She doesn't answer.

"What did she say?"

Nesta waits a few seconds before saying, "She asked why."

"Oh."

He shares in the quiet with her. Minutes go by, and he doesn't say anything, only waits. She doesn't know if he means it as an offering of partnership, but she takes it as such.

"I don't have a good answer for her," she whispers.

"That's all right," he tells her, matching her pitch. "She's fine. She missed you but she's fine."

"It was wrong."

"That's all right too."

If Emerie forgives her, does she have to forgive everyone else? If that's true, then does she want Emerie to forgive her? Of course she does—the only other option is that Emerie is angry with her, or that she doesn't matter to her anymore. Which is worse, she wonders, causing someone pain, proving your importance to them, or having them move on? She doesn't trust herself to come up with an answer. What if she's too sel—

Cassian puts his hand on hers. "Stop thinking so loudly." His tone is teasing but Nesta knows he's serious.

She moves her eyes from the ceiling to his face, tilting her head a little.

"You're back now," he says quietly.

Nesta looks back at the ceiling.

"Emerie loves you more than you hurt her. It's true," he adds, sensing her doubt. He squeezes her hand.

She holds her breath. Is he going to say what she suspects? She doesn't know if she wants him too.

But Cassian only rubs his thumb on hers. "You've said your piece. All you can do is wait for her to make her choice."

"I'm not very good at saying my piece." She's never been good at talking on the spot. She doesn't have the natural charisma Cassian or Feyre have, none of Elain's likability. She's too prickly and stiff.

"Some of us like you anyway."

That makes her laugh a little. "Thanks."

"Let go of your thoughts," he says. "Focus on your breathing and mine."

She listens to him, and at first, it takes up most of her concentration, and then it all fades away. Before she slips under, the only thing she's aware of his hand on hers and the shadow of his wings over them both.

---

December 20 - 1 year after

Sugar Valley was all closed for the holiday, but everyone was still outside, wandering the town, shouting festive-themed pleasantries instead of the usual "come round for jam!"s that Nesta normally heard. Snow fell to the ground, but not so much as Illyria had had last year. Little enough that she could walk around outside.

She hadn't expected to actually go to this silly party that Zeyn had told her about, but he and Miri and even Leyla, one of the other archivists, had spoken to her about it at length and prodded her again and again to come.

So she did, opting for a dress in a pale lilac instead of her usual grey, in an attempt to be festive. She was never one for bright colors, but before it all, she did wear more than just charcoal and the occasional blue.

Leyla seemed to like the dress, as she complimented her on it as soon as Nesta entered the store, shrugging off her cloak.

"Where did you get it?" she asked, beaming at her.

"Maternity aisle at Classia's," Nesta answered, referring to a small boutique in town. The female who ran it was from Prythian, which had made Nesta tense before stepping inside. But she hadn't seemed to recognise her, or at least, she hadn't said anything if she did.

"I love maternity clothes," Leyla gushed.

Perhaps she was trying to be nice, but Nesta just didn't know what to reply to that. But Zeyn came in from the back room just then and lit up when he saw her.

"You came!"

"Yes," she said. They all said odd things here, didn't they?

"Have some of the isti," Zeyn said, waving her towards the table. Isti was what they called that delicious berry-chocolate drink he had given her before.

The store was handsomely decorated, with sugarberries strung up along the shelves and tiny twinkling faelights dotted here and there. Her dress, as it turned out, was not as festive as she thought, because everyone here was dressed in deep burgundy; the same color as their patron fruit. Oh, well. Shades of purple, all the same.

"Nesta," Miri greeted her from behind. "Here, take a wreath." And she placed something atop her head.

Nesta took it off to look at it. "What does Solstice have to do with sugarberries?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Every solstice and equinox is a chance to celebrate our home," Miri said.

"Do they bloom year-round?"

"They do here."

Sugarberries looked very much like the stuff that had grown on trees by their shabby little cottage under the Wall. Nesta remembered Feyre eying them one winter, and Elain informing her not to bother, that they were poisonous.

Perhaps the magic kept them from being so. Or perhaps that which was harmful to humans was pleasant to faeries. Or maybe they were just a different fruit.

"How are you doing?"

"All right," Nesta answered automatically. She was most certainly not doing all right. Pregnancy was a nightmare. She was vaguely aware of passers-by eyes lingering on her for longer than strictly necessary, and, to be frank, she had seen her own reflection—she knew that the weight she had gained in her first trimester only rounded out her curves. But nothing about Nesta was lovely when she put herself to bed at night, feet blistering from simply standing, and waking up a few short hours later to violently vomit everything she had eaten the previous day.

Amorette Dadashov, her healer, assured her it was normal for a fae pregnancy. That might comfort Nesta later, when she wasn't starting and ending every day in pain.

"Have a seat," Miri said, pulling up a chair. "You look tired."

She was exhausted. Amorette had told her that was a normal part of pregnancy, too.

"Good of you to come," Miri said.

"It's very important to the shop, isn't it?"

"Yes," Miri said, after a short beat. "Sit here, dear. I'm going to drag Adil out."

She came back a few minutes later, a grumbling Adil in tow. "Don't see what the point is. We see each other every day. We'll see each other tomorrow at the town's parade."

"Hush," Miri said. "Sit with Nesta. String wreaths."

Nesta had not been to any real holiday parties, but this one still struck her as odd. Adil was right—they did see each other every day. It wasn't even the holiday yet, it was still the day before.

"Do you not like Solstice?"

Nesta looked up from her wreath. She wasn't very good at making them. She kept dropping the berries trying to string them. "You don't look like you're particularly enjoying yourself."

"I am," he said seriously. "Well, Miri is. That's the same."

Nesta averted her eyes. How did you look at someone when they spoke of another person like that?

Adil cleared his throat. "I think there might be something I have you should read."

"Oh...human-authored?"

"No, not a book. Well, it's not really mine. It's from the bank."

Nesta frowned. Her account was all in order, and it wasn't through her employer. "The bank?"

"I...spoke to Erest. Our councilhead?"

She'd met him. She'd been expecting someone like the High Lords, and he was irritating, but in a harmless way. Like everyone else she had met here. "All right," she said, wondering where this was going.

His brow furrowed, deep blue lips a thin line. "You're not registered as a citizen of Sugar Valley yet."

"I know," she said. Amorette had mentioned something about it to her in passing.

"Well, if you were...it'll be easier for you to buy a house here. Easier to sign up for nurseries, too."

Nurseries? All Nesta had decided was that she wasn't terminating the pregnancy.

"Well, I don't think I'm in the market for a house."

"There's a property in one of the younger neighborhoods," he said. "Spacious...enough. Nice yard. Close to the town's center. You should look. It never hurts to look."

"I...really don't think I can afford a house right now—"

"No. You'll be able to afford this one." He didn't look at her, just picked at his wreath. "You should look at it."

Had he struck some sort of deal with the councilhead? No one had ever attempted to give Nesta her own space before...

"I will."

He gave the slightest nod in answer. She didn't thank him, but she got the feeling she wasn't supposed to.

---

December 21 - 4 years after

Nesta's quiet, contented sleep is interrupted before the rising sun hits her through the window by an excited little voice rushing in along with small footsteps.

"Mummy, Mummy, it's Solstice morning, come—"

Nicky stops abruptly as both Nesta and Cassian sit up in bed. His eyes widen, and dart between both of them. He wrings his hands in front of him and sucks in his cheeks.

Nesta's face burns, splotchy redness surely covering her cheeks. "It's all right!" she says, trying to speak calmly and failing miserably. "It's all right! You can come here, Nicky!" She holds out her arms and waves him over.

Nicky, unsure of himself, walks towards her slowly. He stops every few steps and looks around. His cheeks redden slightly, too.

"Good morning," she says, pulling him closer and dropping a kiss on his forehead.

"Happy Solstice," Cassian adds.

Nicky looks up at her. She nods at him encouragingly. "Did you want something from Mummy, angel?"

"I was going to tell you that it's Solstice."

"It is, you're right."

"Are you hungry? Do you want breakfast? We can go get started while Mummy wakes up Ava and Ollie."

"Do you want to go make breakfast with Appa?" she asks him. He nods and she gives him another kiss. "All right, go on."

Without making eye contact with Cassian, she passes Nicky to him. She smooths her hair as they leave.

She'll have to talk to Nicky, of course. Tell him...what? She'll have to ask him what he thinks, first. To see if she needs to reassure him or answer his questions—oh, fuck, he'll tell his siblings, won't he? Of course he will. It's Nicky. He doesn't have a discreet bone in his body. Hopefully Cassian will have distracted him enough by the time she brings Avery and Ollie down.

What'll she say to Cassian? She's not angry he stayed; just mortified Nicky saw them. Is she mortified? She's not sure. She won't be able to tell what she's feeling until...well, it'll be a while until she gets to talk to Amorette, won't it? And that's how she normally decides her feelings on matters of this sort.

She thinks she's managed to pull herself together enough to rouse Avery and Ollie, but she must be mistaken, because Avery asks her what's wrong before moaning that she's still tired.

"Nothing, ladybug," she assures her. "Everything's fine. Come, let's brush our teeth...Appa and Nicky are making us breakfast..."

As she helps the children with the sink—there's no step stool in this house—she comes to the conclusion that she's furious with herself. She had to pick today to fall asleep in bed with Cassian? Today, before seeing the Feyre's Inner Circle for the first time in years? Amren and Morrigan and Rhysand and even Azriel...why has she done this to herself?

"You'll be smarter than Mummy, won't you, Avery?" she mumbles.

"What, Mummy?"

"Nothing, nothing..."

Thirty seconds after entering the kitchen, where Cassian is holding Nicky in one arm and preparing eggs over the stove in the other, it becomes clear to Nesta that avoiding talking about this is going to be difficult, because Cassian seems as determined to catch her eye and talk to her as she is against doing so.

"You all can stay here with Appa, can't you?" she says brightly. "Mummy's going to get dressed." And take a bath for much longer than necessary. Perhaps that'll help her clear her head.

January 18 - Year of

Cassian hadn't left since coming back from Velaris. Nesta didn't ask why the trips to other camps had been canceled, nervous about his answer. But while he was here, while he did not bring her letters from her sisters...she was...enjoying it.

Things at the clothier were doing better. Nesta's ordering strategy worked, and Emerie seemed pleased. She shared lunch with her every day, and went back home in the evenings to have dinner with Cassian.

Even the throbbing pain in her head had ceased. Occasionally, Nesta still wanted a drink, but it had been over five months since she last had one, and sometimes there were whole days where the thought didn't cross her mind even once.

When Cassian showed up to Emerie's shop one afternoon in mid-January, basket of sandwiches in hand, Nesta didn't make up an excuse to rush out like she had last time.

"Lunch break?" he asked them both.

Emerie looked at her sideways. A small smile tugged at Nesta's lips at the sight of her unease; for someone who had only ever seen Cassian as an untouchable, more mythic creature than real person, she imagined him walking into your place of work and offering you a picnic basket would be very odd indeed.

But Emerie might have been a bit more used to Nesta and all things that came for her, because she shrugged a little and said, "All right."

So there they sat, in the back room, which Nesta had once told Cassian was employees only. She hoped he didn't remember, but judging by his smirk he did. She rolled her eyes in response.

"How's business?" he asked.

Emerie glanced at Nesta with narrowed eyes before answering. "Good. How is..." Emerie trailed off. What could she say? How is the growing restlessness amongst the legions, the steadily rising number of rebels, the threats of civil war?

"Everything's fine," Cassian said.

"You've been here more often," Emerie noted.

"More for me to do here."

What that could possibly mean, Nesta had no idea. She saw him going over reports sometimes, but that was about it. And Cassian wasn't like her; he couldn't just sit at home and read a book. An afternoon walk was not enough to invigorate him, he needed something properly challenging.

"Although I'm going to be leaving soon," he continued. "Train a group of females."

"Who are they?" Nesta asked.

"Soldiers."

"I thought you didn't have female soldiers."

"We should," he said. "It doesn't make sense to cut out half our possible numbers automatically."

"Do they want to be soldiers?" Nesta asked, looking sideways at Emerie. Nesta would not want to be one—for anyone, but definitely not for an army who sliced their daughters' bodies like that.

"Of course they do," he said.

She frowned. "I don't think wanting to be a soldier is such an obvious desire."

"They're Illyrian," he said, pouring them juice from the jug he had brought.

"I don't want to be a soldier," Emerie spoke up.

Cassian's eyes slid towards her. "We don't force anyone. But females should be allowed, if they want. If they have something to give."

Emerie shrugged.

Nesta didn't love a land enough to be willing to risk being torn apart on a battlefield for. "Why are you so keen on females fighting in combat?" she asked. "Don't you think if they really wanted to, they would have found some way to do so by now?"

"It's not true that you don't force anyone," Emerie said softly.

Cassian flinched.

"It's not Cassian's fault your cousin died, Emerie," Nesta said, without missing a beat.

Cassian seemed to hold his breath, but that was unnecessary. Emerie and Nesta knew each other well enough by now to allow for such statements.

"I know that," she said. "I don't blame him."

Nesta thought Cassian might have some long-suffering response to that, like You're the only one, or something noble, like I take responsibility anyway, but when she turned to him, he was only staring at her. Hazel eyes tense and studying, like she was one of his reports.

December 21 - 4 years after

Per Nesta's request to Cassian, Solstice dinner has been moved up several hours, so the children can participate. By five their carriage pulls up in front of Feyre's manor, and the children are vibrating with excitement.

"Nesta, maybe we could have a word before we go in?" Cassian says to her in a low voice.

"I think we want to go inside and see our presents," Nesta says, loudly, brightly, so the triplets' cheers drown out Cassian's request.

He frowns only a little—it's hard not to be taken with the sheer joy on their tiny faces. So he quickly grins and says, "All right, let's go in, then."

Nesta had her own suitcase full of gifts from herself and Sugar Valley townspeople delivered earlier (except for what she had intended to bring Cassian—she has left that at his house), and she has nothing to hold in her hands as a buffer. So for the second time this evening, she uses her children to her advantage, and picks up Ollie; the child least likely to try and wriggle out of her arms, leaving her defenseless.

Cassian leads them up to the front door. It's thrown open before they have a chance to get there, and Elain hurries out to greet them.

"Happy Solstice!" she trills, pulling in Avery and Nicky for a hug. "Come in, come in! We're all waiting for you!"

Feyre, beaming, takes their coats. She has a circlet set atop her head, her golden-brown locks lightly curling down. A gift from Rhysand, no doubt. But not for Solstice.

"Happy birthday," Nesta says to her.

Feyre's eyes flutter. "Oh, thank you!"

Nesta stifles an eyeroll. Did she think she had forgotten?

"Now, we thought you might like to keep things casual, you know, with them, so we haven't really planned for a sit-down meal...we thought they'd like presents more...is that all right?"

Nesta frowns. "I mean, we haven't fed them—"

"No, I know, I meant we're just not going to make them sit around a table. There's food! Lots of food! Just on tables. And we're all in couches. Is that all right? Right in here, see?"

See she does. Everyone.

She is pleased she's holding Ollie, as it appears to be working in his favor too, judging by how tightly he grips her as he takes in, for the first time in his life, five adults he has never seen before. Even Avery and Nicky seem a bit taken aback, with Nicky stepping a little closer to Cassian's legs and Avery looking up at him, slightly dazed.

The Inner Circle sits on assorted couches and armchairs, all dressed for the occasion. A large table of food is on the right side of the room, with bottles of fine wine and fruit drinks too. In the middle, creating a small mountain on the floor, is a pile of presents.

Amren is there, already clad in a dozen glittering jewels. Her hair is shorter than it had been last time Nesta saw her, but her silver eyes are the same: unblinking, unwavering in her stare. Their gaze locks, but she draws her eyes away, towards Cassian, when he speaks.

"These are Ava and Nicky," he says, scooping them both up and smiling down at them when they giggle, "and that's Ollie with Nesta."

Morrigan, sharing a loveseat with Emerie, is the first to stand. "Hello, Nesta," she says, face blank. Nesta does her best to keep her expression free of ire as she nods in return. "Hi there," she says, much more warmly. "Ava and Nicky and Ollie...hi. I'm Mor." She gives them an affectionate smile, brown eyes crinkled and twinkling. She reaches out her hand...to touch them? She doesn't seem to know what to do, hesitating, and settles on patting Avery's leg.

"Are you hungry?" Feyre asks. "Look, we've got food here...Nicky, you like turkey, don't you?"

"No, I don't," he answers.

"He does," Nesta tells her. "He just doesn't remember what it's called."

"Oh. Here's the table..." Feyre waves over, rather unnecessarily, at the spread of food. Normally Nesta doesn't like buffet styles, but she admits to herself that it'll definitely go over better. She can see each of her children eyeing the gifts. There's no chance of getting them to sit at a table.

"We're getting plates of food before we're opening presents," she says, looking at them. "All right?"

Nesta hasn't eaten since lunch, but being here makes her appetite disappear, so she only fixes a plot for Ollie. She sits on one of the empty couches with him on her lap. Avery sits with Cassian and Nicky sits with Elain.

The initial awkward quiet is quickly dissipated by her sisters' determination to keep the evening lovely, so they force their friends and her children into conversation. Avery, of course, takes to them all like a dragon to the skies, and Nicky does too (after looking at his elder sister, and following her lead), but Ollie keeps looking down at his lap and blushing.

"It's all right," she murmurs, kissing the top of his head. "Would you like to open presents now?"

He nods, still looking down, but his siblings hold no such qualms.

"Yes, I want to!"

"I also want to! Mummy, can I?"

"Can they, Nesta?" Feyre says, nearly begging, batting her eyes.

"Sure."

"Yes! All right, Ava...this one's from me..."

"Here, Ollie," Elain says, radiating joy as she grabs a box and walks over to him. "This is for you!"

"Thank you, Aunt Elain," he says shyly. He looks up at Nesta.

"You can open it," she encourages him. "Nicky, what do you say?"

"Thank you!"

The flurry of presents commences, with the adults in the party opening theirs as well. Glittering trinkets for Amren, of course, and some jokes about Morrigan getting everyone the same thing.

"Here, Nesta, this is from me," Feyre says, handing over a gift.

Nesta blinks. "Oh. Thanks."

She gently slides Ollie over to Elain, but he is so taken with his—eugh—live caterpillar, in an aquarium, he hardly notices. Acutely aware of Feyre's eyes on her, Nesta opens the present. A small gasp escapes her.

Four portraits—just like the ones that decorate this house, except inherently better, because these are of her children. One of each of them, grinning broadly, painted to perfection—Feyre's quite good, isn't she—and one of the four of them. Remarkable, Nesta thinks, how her sister has managed to create something she has never seen before, for she has never seen Nesta playing with the children in the park like this, in these positions.

Nicky looks over. "It's me!" he says. "It's me and Ava and Ollie and Mummy!"

Nesta picks up her head. Feyre's hands are held tightly at her mouth. She's bouncing up and down a little—much like the children do, actually, she thinks with a small smile.

"Do you like it?"

"I do," Nesta says, pleased to find her voice is even. "Thank you."

"I'm so glad," she says, relieved.

"Feyre, this is for you," Azriel says, passing Feyre a smaller package. "Elain, this one's yours..."

"Oh—Nesta, is this from you?" Elain asks, surprised.

"Yes," she says shortly.

"I...thank you."

"You haven't opened them yet," she says to them both.

They exchange a look before they do. In fact, it seems as though everyone except the children pauses to watch Elain and Feyre open what Nesta got for them. What are they expecting? She knows her sisters. She knows what they like.

"Oh, wow, Nesta," Feyre says, looking at the paint set. "From the Continent?"

Of course it is. Nesta lives on the Continent. "It's natural paint," she says. "Locally made. With the berries. And that's a sugarberry tree sapling, Elain."

"Oh, I've got my work cut out for me, don't I!" Elain says, excited.

"Why have you got your work—"

"They're really hands-on outside of Gilameyva...I've been doing a bit of research...oh, but it's actually best to plant them right in mid-winter, so this is perfect...Nesta, this is for you, from you friends in Sugar Valley, I think."

The gift exchange still is not over, after another ten minutes—the sheer amount of nonsense gifted to her children is staggering, but she cannot bring herself to be upset at the irrationality of it. They're overjoyed. But Nicky asks for a pause, so Nesta can take him to the bathroom, and then asks for orange juice on the way back, and because there wasn't any in the sitting room, she takes him into the kitchen herself. She intends to ask him about what he had seen earlier that morning, but when they enter the room, Emerie is there, sitting at the bar.

She stands when she sees them. "Hello, Nesta. N-Nicky." She gives Nesta's son a curt nod.

"Hi!"

"Hello, Emerie. Nicky...here's some orange juice. Appa will pour it for you."

"Okay, thank you Mummy," he says, taking it from her, holding the carton with both his hands.

Nesta waits until Nicky is out of earshot before she blurts out, "Can I ask you something?"

Emerie startles. Oh, had she wanted to say something? Cassian had told her that it is Emerie's turn to speak, didn't he?

"Unless you want to say something."

"Er, no, that's...all right."

"Well," Nesta says. How to put this delicately. "Nicky walked in on Cassian in my bed this morning. With me."

Judging by how wide Emerie's eyes go, that was not the correct choice. "We didn't do anything," she hurries to say. "He just fell asleep."

"Oh," Emerie says, the color of her cheeks going back to normal. "Well. Is that so bad?"

"I don't know," Nesta says, miserable. Amorette would know. She should have just waited to go home and ask her. Emerie doesn't know children.

"I don't think it's so bad," Emerie says, trying to be helpful. "I mean...if he sees it a lot more, he'll think it's normal."

"I don't know if he's going to be seeing it a lot more. So this might...confuse him."

"Oh," Emerie says. "Oh, we assumed...oh."

"You assumed what? Who's we?"

"Er, Mor and I. And, ah, everyone. That you two...would be...well. Together."

Nesta shakes her head and looks around the room. "Well—I don't know why you would assume that," she says lamely.

"Oh," Emerie says again.

"We're not. Together, I mean."

"And you won't be?"

Nesta purses her lips.

"Oh."

"It's complicated," Nesta says, finally.

Emerie plays with her braid, her wings relaxing slightly. "That's what I love about Mor, you know. She makes everything simple. Everything's easy." A slight trace of amusement shines through Emerie's dark eyes. "One would think three children and a love story would be simple, too."

"There's no..." Nesta starts to protest, but stops. Emerie was there for it, after all. There's no point in pretending with her. So she changes pace. "We used to be simple," she says softly.

"I told Mor that," Emerie says in the same tone. "I know you two...don't get along. But I told her...I always tell her, we were...friends."

They were. At a time where Nesta didn't have any—and Emerie didn't, either. That makes Nesta's leaving her without even saying goodbye more reprehensible.

"I don't think Nicky will be traumatized," Emerie says. She smiles slightly. "I wasn't, after all."

A short, breathless, embarrassed laugh escapes Nesta's mouth. She had forgotten about that. "Well that's...good to hear."

Emerie opens her mouth, but she is cut off by the sound of Nicky and Avery having a conversation in the hallway.

"I think Mummy stayed in the kitchen because she was angry," Nicky is saying.

"Mummy doesn't know how to be angry," Avery replies. "Mummy?" she calls out.

"In here, ladybug."

Nicky and Avery walk in, hand-in-hand. Emerie looks a little taken aback.

"Are you coming back, Mummy?"

"Yes, angels," she says. "Ah, Emerie, are you coming?"

"Yes," she says shortly. She hesitates. "Did they walk here by themselves?" she says to Nesta, under her breath.

"Yes," Nesta answers, bemused.

"He remembered the way?"

Nesta laughs. "Avery, Nicky, why don't you tell Emerie what you like to do at school?"

The entire walk back, Nesta watches Emerie's eyes grow wider and wider as the pair of them trip over themselves trying to talk about their friends and their drawings and their trips to the park and their flying lessons.

She knows Emerie's reaction well. She experiences it herself often enough. Three real, unique people.

Hours later, when Feyre declares the evening a success, and she and Cassian carry the children's sleeping forms into the carriage, and Rhysand and Azriel carry out the trunks of gifts for them, Emerie whispers to her, "I hadn't realized...perhaps you should talk to Nicky."

And when Cassian finally catches her eye—there is nowhere else to look—she knows she has to talk to him, too.

---

Chapter Seventeen

#like pristine glass #nessian fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #wow yeah i'm like prepping this post as my beta is editing it #and i have nothing to say?#ummm this weekend is 9 years to my bat mitzvah?#i think i've worked up the nerve to start a booktube?#that's it #is starting a booktube the girl version of a podcast? no. i'm hilarious.#and self aware.#anyway hope you like this! lmk if you do!

55 notes · View notes