#Anyway got abot that can do it

[selfshippinglover]

fellow rickfuckers, please tell me I'm not the only one that would nut if Rick said good girl cause 😩😩😩😩😩

[reidmania]

hello!! ok so, i was wondering if i could request a fic that is based around autumn/ october/ halloween because spencer loves spooky season and i fuck with that, anyway, so could you tie that detail into smth kinda like your ���everywhere everything” fic fluff wise because i went feral for that one lmao. feel free to ignore if youre not up to it, but i’d love to read what youve got if you do write this. 💙

EVERYWHERE EVERYTHING | spencer reid

part one, part two

summary; spending the week before halloween & going to the pumpkin patch with Spencer in your home town.

warnings; pure love sick fluff, talks about home towns, established relationships, fem reader, halloween, mentions of driving, rushed ending sorry!!

an; i decided to make this request a part two to the everywhere everything fic bc the next verse just fits so well i think?? but it can be read without reading the first part. and that whole song feels like love in autumn!!

im also australian and we dont celebrate halloween like americans do, ive never been to a pumpkin patch so please bare w me during this.

'Drive slowly, I know every route in this county, maybe that ain't such a bad thing I'll tell you where not to speed. It's been a long year and all of our book's pages dog-eared We write out the ends on our palms, dear. Then forget to read, we didn't know that the sun was collapsing 'Til the seas rose and the buildings came crashing. We cried, "Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh" Everywhere, everything, I wanna love you 'til we're food for the worms to eat 'Til our fingers decompose Keep my hand in yours'

"Slow down" You huffed out as Spencer turned down a road you knew all to well, it was familiar and came with a sense of home in place. It was the same road you remembered your father being pulled over everytime for speeding, the same road you had been pulled over on when you had first gotten your licence.

Spencer did as you told him, after sitting in the car with you for an hour mumbling about where was and wasn't safe to go a little faster than the speed limit, he knew to listen. This was your home, you knew it better than he would.

He even refrained from correcting some of your 'fun facts' abot your home town. Purely because listening to your excitement while talking about it made his heart too happy to say anything.

"You know we have gone past about three different pumpkin patches on the way" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrow softly as his head turned from the road to look at you for a moment before turning back to the road.

You rolled your eyes, a playful smile taking place over your lips. “Yes, but, this one’s the best. We are literally two minutes away. Please don’t complain.” You muttered with a smile.

The air between the two of you was warm. It lingered with peace and quiet love, the sort that didn’t need to be shouted from a roof top because it was whispered through the way Spencer’s hands reached to grab yours, the way his eyes danced between you and the road, the way the music playing was what you enjoyed rather than the normal radio he would let play in the background.

It didn’t need to be shouted because it was whispered through the way Spencer’s face lit up when he parked the car and looked out the window, the way he turned back to you with just about the widest grin you think ever possible, the way he leant in to place a gentle kiss against your forehead before he got out, walking around the car to open the door for you.

“Pretty right?” You grinned up at him as his eyes took over the scene, the leaves that covered the ground around your feet all the prettiest shades of orange and yellow, the scent of cinnamon filling the air around you, as patches and patches of pumpkins laid in front of you, all surrounded by a brown picket fence.

He just placed another kiss on your the top of your head, clasping his hand with yours, fingers interlinked between one another. The smile on his face and look in his eyes said more about his excitement than words possibly good — so you didn’t mind the lack of response as you began walking towards the patches.

“I wanna find the biggest one.” You mumbled out, looking around the large patches. There was families, friends, other couples surrounding you but your focus was on nothing but Spencer, and finding the biggest possible pumpkin.

Spencer snorted as he looked up at from patches, to look at you. He took in how you looked curled into one of his knitted sweaters, arms wrapped around your torso in order to shield you from the autumn breeze.

“I think that kid just took the biggest one”

You furrowed your eyebrows and spun your body to look behind you to where a kid was walking — To be fair the pumpkin his dad was holding was pretty big, but the smile on the kids face when he jumped around holding hands with his mum made you not mind so much.

“Well.. I’ll get the second biggest” You settled. Spencer smiled as he shook his head, tugging you slightly closer by your hand to pull you into his chest. His hand left yours as his arms came to rest around your waist.

You laughed, as your hands came up to his upper back and the back of his head gently. The two of you swayed side to side for a moment. “Happy?” You asked, silly question. You could feel it radiating off of him.

He pulled his head away to press his forehead against yours, his nose knocking yours lightly as he scrunched up his face for a moment, before pulling back to look down at your face. His lip quipped up into a soft smile. “Very.”

You lean back, his hands moving to hold onto your hips as his thumb slipped up under your sweater, his sweater. His thumb ran small circles over the skin in place. Your smile widened, heart exploding as your skin burnt under the cold of his fingertips.

“Come on, I want to find the perfect pumpkin. We should have a pumpkin carving competition this year, that would be so much fun” You rambled as you pulled away from his touch to walk around the lines and lines of pumpkins.

He laughed, “We should.” He agreed softly, because why would he ever deny you what you wanted, especially something to do with halloween.

He watched as you bent down to run your fingertips run gently along one of the pumpkins in the row: It was a decent size and probably would be simply to carve since he knew your mind was now hyper-fixated on the idea of pumpkin carving instead of finding the biggest possible pumpkin.

“Actually- Did you know each year 150 million dollars is made from pumpkins, and 98 percent of that is from people who purchase them to make jack-o’-lanterns, and 46% of amercia—”

“How many is that?” You cut off as you look up at him from where you were leant down to look at the pumpkins. He smiled.

“A hundred and fifty four million” He answered without even having to think about it. It never failed to stun you. You hummed allowing him to continue on telling you his facts.

“So 46 percent — Or A hundred and fifty four million people, in America make jack-o-lanterns every year. During Halloween the most reason for injury is actually because of pumpkin carving.” He stated.

You stood up, a soft smile on your face as you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Well maybe people should be more careful. I’ve never gotten an injury while carving a pumpkin” You hummed out.

He snorted, taking your hand gently. “Have you ever carved a pumpkin?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

You gasped, “Yes- Actually!! I have.” You said, your voice an octave higher than normally. He smiled, nodding his head in disbelief which only caused you to shake your own.

The rest of the day consisted of you and Spencer walking around the pumpkin patch, making jokes and laughing with one another, you even tried a pumpkin, cinnamon cookie from a stand nearby.. Safe to say you weren’t too fond of it.

But you were fond of the way Spencer’s eyes shone in a different sort of way when the two of you finally picked out a pumpkin each, the way his mood seemed unwavering during the fall season.

You loved him, and you loved halloween.

[francesderwent]

Hello! I hope this doesn't come across as a Taylor-bashing question. While I believe that artists should be able to sing/write/create about their lived experience, there's something about the way Taylor handled mental health in this album that rubbed me the wrong way. I'll try to put it succinctly in three points: 1) TTPD seems to spill out the mental health issues/depression of Joe Alwyn, who seems like a very private person. I don't want to bring celebrity drama into this, but there's something discomfiting abot Taylor being more subtle and silent about his mental illness when they were together, and then spilling about it when they've broken up. 2) The way that she writes about mental illness/depression strikes me as hurtful. An example: "You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days." The takeaway seems to be an accusation that the subject chose his depression over her, which is...iffy. 3) The aesthetic of her album seems to be 'insanity' and 'mental torture' and, especially given the above two, it seems to be in poor taste?

I don't mean that Taylor shouldn't write about her experience about being resentful for a partner's mental illness/how they handled it, it just seems she's threading a sketchy line and I'm not sure if she handled that very well. But, I would really appreciate it if you have another way of looking at this. I do like Taylor's songs, and I appreciate your insights to them!

well first of all I sincerely love you for numbering your ask, it’s so readable and coherent. bless!! I’ll answer in order:

I think she absolutely was not any more subtle or silent about his struggles while they were together. his sadness has been all over so many of her love songs about him, using the exact same images that she brings back in ttpd. she says in hoax, “don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do”. and she talks in the long pond sessions about this for her being an example of true love, the person you want to be with in really dark times. in renegade she says “the shape of you was jagged and weak, there was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway”. a lot of what she says in ttpd is a purposeful callback to words of love she spoke in earlier songs, not undoing them, but mourning the fact they weren’t enough. mirrorball says “I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me”, So Long London says “I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe”. it’s not about airing his private business, she doesn’t give us any more details now than she did when they were in love. the only difference is in how it made her feel.

I don’t think Taylor is saying that her partner chose depression over her, or that it’s his fault for not pulling himself out of it. if we look at You’re Losing Me along with this album, I think it’s abundantly clear that the reason she left is because She Wanted To Be Married. “do something babe, say something. choose something babe, I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.” “are we really gonna talk about timing in times like these??” she wanted them to choose each other despite everything difficult and sad. and he simply never did. you can say that a huge commitment like that would be horrifically hard for a person deeply depressed, but she waited six years, and he was showing more interest in anything but her (“I’m the best thing at this party” “I founded the club she’s heard great things about” “it’s not right to be scared every day of a love affair” “fell victim to interlopers’ glances”). “is it your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to?” indeed.

I don’t think there’s any reason to assume this is merely an album aesthetic. I don’t necessarily take it as literal-diagnostic as some other commenters have, but when Taylor talks about her mental health on this album, I think we can take her pretty seriously. “how much sad did you think I had”, “am I allowed to cry”, “you don’t get to tell me about sad” are repeated through this album, but it’s not new. “I’m with you even if it makes me blue” in Paper Rings, “when my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people I ghosted stand there in the room” in Anti-Hero, “a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care” from Dear Reader. she’s suffering too. the breakdown that happens over the course of this album is not a performance, it is very very real and a long time coming.

tldr: I think she really really loved him. and she loved him while both of them were really sad. he didn’t choose depression over her, but he also didn’t choose her, and that finally broke her. she has every right to leave a relationship that’s dragging on and never going anywhere to seek somebody who wants the same life she does.

[klausysworld]

HI can you do a one shot in which the reader is gamer x YouTuber x dancer .

She has over 20 million subs on her all three channels.

She us dateing Klaus and he and his family do not know about her being a YouTuber .

Hope being her very big fan .They get to know about her being a YouTuber by hope.

They confront reader abot this .

Can you make it funny like they don't have any idea of what a YouTuber a gamer means .

Reader name : malika

Channel 1 name : gamer queen

Channel 2 name : white wolf

Channel 3 name : dancing doll.

Thanks

Simply adorable

“and we are live, this is my…step daughter? i dunno what do we call each other? we’re sorta just friends anyway so anyway we are here because Hope is going to teach me her newest dance routine. She has been going to lessons recently and wants to become a dancing doll 2.0” You introduced the kid as she adjusted the camera angle

“i think i should get my own name like twinkling tribrid?…that sounded..better in my head”

“uhuh sure it did” you muttered as Hope muttered different names that she thought would suit her

“right so now that we’re ready, lets-“

“Hey have either of you seen my paints….why is there a camera?” both Hope and yourself jumped to your feet and smiled suspiciously as Hope picked the screen up and ran off to the next room saying something to the followers.

“Paints are in the cupboard, top shelf, back left corner of your art room, i moved them cuz that way it’s easier to put the brushes on the bottom and the palettes in the middle” Klaus nodded his head as he eyed you for a moment

“what’re you and Hope doing?”

“dancing”

“dancing?”

“mhm you wanna see? we jump about and play loud upbeat music-“

“you know what? i think i’m just going to paint for a bit..i’ll see you in a bit though yea? Love you sweetheart” he softly kissed your lips before leaving the room and closing the door behind him

“may or may not have got that on the live” Hope giggled from the corner as you groaned and saw all the comments calling your boyfriend hot and irresistible.

A couple days later you were on your ‘Gamer Queen’ account and halfway through your game when Elijah walked in behind you. You didn’t hear him as you were wearing headphones talking to other players but he stayed and watched for a minute as you discussed what you needed to do. His confusion was beyond it had ever been before as be stood there awkwardly, it wasn’t until the person you were playing with asked who the guy was did you turn around

“Elijah! You’re in here! What’s up, you need something?” you desperately moved to block the screen and you muted yourself and spun round

“just leaving actually” he smiled quickly before striding out of the room

“shit”

It was when you were on your ‘White Wolf’ youtube channel filming that you were interrupted again. You were wearing your white headphones that had little wolf ears on the top and you were reviewing a video game that people had been begging you to tell them about. You were pointing something out when the door swung open

“i accidentally told Bekah and Kol that you were on youtube and now the whole family are watching your videos and cuz you talk about your gaming on the channel they might’ve clicked the link and saw you on that too… then dad said he saw you with a camera and we were talking about dancing and they may or may not have found the dancing doll account….” Hope spat out in one breath before panting heavily

“oh…that’s just great…right lets just log off and um i dunno jump out a window or something” Hope deadpanned you as you stared blankly back

“well!?” she exclaimed

“i don’t know!? they were never meant to find out! you said they were oblivious to the modern world!”

“they are! have you seen dad on his phone?? the man can’t even text he writes it with a pen!” we both spoke in harsh whispers before we heard a throat being cleared from the door and we hesitantly turned to see the entire family looking at us quizzically

“you’re still wearing the headset” hope mumbled almost inaudibly, you quickly took it off and turned the computer off

“sooo….nice day out”

“it’s raining”

“did i ask you Hope?”

a throat cleared again and Klaus raised a brow

“what’s a you-tube?” Kol asked making you sigh

“it’s an online social media platform, you can watch…or make videos and other people can see them”

“over 20 million people have been and still are watching your life?” Rebekah asked her confusion clear as she glanced at Marcel who shrugged and looked back at his phone

“well not my every living second, only the bigs i want to show-“

“why am i in this video?” Marcel cut you off shoving the phone in your face to show you a clip of marcel dancing in the kitchen making you and Hope hold in your laughter

“well-“

“for her dancey channel obviously!” Kol stated loudly rolling his eyes

“oh dear god” you mumbled pinching the bridge of your nose

“Malika, love, i would like to know what your little friends mean by the word ‘dilf’?” your eyes widened as you watched Klaus scroll through the comments of the video he was accidentally in

“shit! fuck! its nothinggg” you could hear Davina giggling and held in your own laughter as he kept scrolling. His face grew a little pink as he turned the screen off

“never mind i googled it, which i can do by the way by typing” Hope burst into a fit if giggles

“forgive me Malika but i still don’t understand the concept” Elijah mumbled and furrowed his brows as he studied the screen

“its for entertainment”

“not my kinda entertainment” Kol snickered and Davina smacked his arm

“oh but uncle kol haven’t you seen the super duper hilarious video of you yet? you know the one when you were convinced you were a rapper after you drank too much of dads best bourb-“ Kol quickly vamped over and pulled Hope into a bear hug

“ahahahaha you’re so silly, lets move on yea?” he picked her up and zoomed them out of the room along with Davina

“as long as it’s harmless i don’t see the issue” Elijah shrugged and walked off

“i’m offended i wasn’t offered a dance position if i’m honest” Rebekah pouted playfully before breaking into a smile and giving you a hug

“i’m glad you’re having fun Mal”

Klaus stayed with his arms crossed

“you never mentioned it”

“i didn’t want you to think it was weird”

he smiled softly and pulled you against his chest

“you’re simply adorable, always, you know this” you hummed in appreciation and hugged him back

“soo…you wanna play a horror game with me?”

[twiceskzmixx]

<< Masterlist >>

06. What part of the world is he living in?

Or in which life sucks

¡VOTING CHANCE AT THE BOTTOM! ¡PLEASE VOTE!

Word Count: TBD

Warnings: angsty, mentions of de@+h, the girls are low-key depressed

No amount of training could have ever prepared you for the amount of hate you got daily.

From silly comments about how you are single handedly ruining music with a couple of songs they can easily skip to comments that leave you staring at your phone with any self confidence you had gone.

They say it goes away, they'll get over it when the next shiny thing comes. But it come. And they still hate you for breathing.

You'd be lying if you said that it didn't effect you. You'd also be lying if you said that you didn't take what the said to heart. Because you did. You took everything to heart.

You lost count the amount of times you and the girls would sit in a circle and just cry. Nothing more than just cry.

Your staff appeared to take pity on you guys. Letting you have more breaks than any other group but you didn't care. You barely took them anyway.

When you did, you'd always find yourself in the cafeteria of JYPE with the maknae of Stray Kids, Yang Jeongin himself.

It was always quite, no conversation going above soft talking. Sometimes you'd talk about how your groups are doing, sometimes you'll talk about how you both grew up, sometimes you wouldn't talk abot anything. He'd sit there and eat some type of bread and you'd sit there and eat some fruit snacks before you quietly go back to your respective practice rooms.

You didn't have his number or anything. At most those cafeteria session made you feel less guilty over simple existing.

Although, something that didn't help your guilt was Kai. He'd send you encouraging messages everyday and you'd never open them. You always said you would open them "later" but "later" never comes. You always forget or just don't want to talk to anyone.

Kai just sent you another message but just when you were about to open it, you got a call from you mother...

Question 2: Which Invitation Should YN Accept? (Leads to Google forms)

[balkanradfem]

On the topic of that verbena plants you found, I got some last year for the first time, so feel like sharing how taking care of it went for me. I might just end up repeating what every article says, but hey, experience is always worth sharing, maybe you find some of it helpful!

Before I get into it though, I feel like clearing up some things related to it's name because I remember getting so annoyed at the inconsistencies when I was researching it. The scientific name is actually glandularia x hybrida, but most places will still refer to it as verbena x hybrida because it's only recently been reclassified. As for common names, I've mostly seen it being called annual verbena or trailing verbena.

Don't let the name fool you though! It's actually perennial! Mine from last year is still alive (and has survived powdery mildew, my cat peeing in the pot and I think even a spider mite attack)

It's also been very easy to propagate (read: I propagated it accidentally). It grows roots wherever it touches the ground, so all it takes is cutting it off the original plant once the roots have established a bit.

That or just taking a cutting and ploping it in soil. I think I broke mine off accidentaly somehow and just put it in the nearest soil I saw, which ended up being a 15 cm wide pot with some swedish ivy. The reason I go into so much detail is because later that summer it turned out I had apparently also put a watermelon seed in that pot the previous year and it decided to grow in this crowded space and actually produce fruit. And at this point the verbena cutting was in a better shape than the original plant despite the crowded setting (the original was fighting powdery mildew at this point).

I'll also mention I wasn't particularly attentive of the cutting at any point. I'd water it enough to keep the soil moist and that's about it.

Getting onto care in general, it loves lots of sun, and I mean LOTS (at least 8 hours preferably and it's not too fussed abot the scorching summer heat either). It'll do fine in part sun-part shade as well, but it'll get more leggy, though if it gets too wild it can be trimmed back and it'll resume flowering pretty soon.

As for watering, keep the soil moist. It's not the end of the world if the soil conpletely dries out and it starts looking really sad, it'll bounce back when you water it, but obviously it's best to avoid that.

I'd say the biggest problem for me was powdery mildew. I lost one plant to it (tips would be apprecited if anyone has any, because I tried all sorts of things and none helped enough to save it) and another got it near the base (I removed parts with it as best as I could but some of it still stayed, but apart from it just being there the plant wasn't affected anyway and it later just went away on it's own).

This is the biggest reason to not keep it in too much shade, the one that got the most light didn't get it. Though keep in mind I had a pretty crowded balcony which has pretty high side walls, so naturally also less space for air to circulate, which probably didn't help.

Hopefully I didn't forget anything and you find this helpful in some way!

Thank you, I really appreciate the experience! It's better to know what someone personally went thru with a plant than reading an article. I'll make sure to put the plants in a light and dry place!

Also it's weird they're using a wrong latin name for it, I don't usually hear that about plants. I googled glandularia x hybrida and it's pretty much the same thing. Verbena officialis is a wild plant here, so there can be mixups. It makes sense to call the cultivated plant another name.

[ultramidas]

Worst Fucking Week 1/2

I Just had one of the worst fucking weeks of my life and i dont know what to do with myself anymore, first off theres my fuck ass father i dont even know where to get started this guys is a fucking deadbeat piece of shit who doesnt fucking care about me or anyone else besides his fucking retarded girlfriend he he doesnt care abot me or my feelings and i fucking hate talking to the guy i had an argument with him a week before when i was at my moms place and the week i was with him which is this week he was talking about some "oh i do love you okay and i do care" i dont even remeber what he said because it wasnt even important he doesnt care about my health he cant cook the only thing he can cook is fucking pasta which is the bare minimum and he did it once this week so i dont get any healthy meals or anything the rest of th week is just fast food bullshit usually i dont mind mcdonalds or something once or maybe even twice a week if i feel like it but i swear he got me mcdonalds 4 out of the 7 days of the week maybe more and he got me fucking wendys almost every day and he always get a fucking baconator which is the most unhealthy shit like im surprised im not fucking dead yet the only reason im not obese is because i fucking starve myself which isnt healthy but i dont wanna be 300 pounds overweight and the guy never buys anything at the grocery store either its always chips and fucking soda or ice cream or shit he uses for pasta speaking of soda its the only thing in the house besides water no fucking joke and its like that every week i stay with him and sometimes he'll get gatorade or some shit like that but its not any better i want fuckin juice or milk or something other than water and like water is fucking amazing but i want a bit more flavor in my fucking mundane shitty life nad other than that its just alchohol which im not old enough to drink neither do i wanna drink that shit yet and the way he treats my sister makes me wanna beat the shit out of him he treats her like shit always threatening to kick her out because of something she never did or that my dad thinks he did like my sister will do the dishes and laundry n shit and my dad will say she didnt and fucking argue and fight wih her he just doesnt care he doesnt care about feelings or other people besides his girlfriend who is a fucking stupid bitch who cant even drive a fucking car and gets scammed n shit i dont know why he likes her or why she likes him probably money but whatever i dont care if he's dating a gold digger its his fault and i hate him anyways so i dont care because h would never care for me back, secondly school i fucking hate school i wanna drop out but the school wont let me and i hate it school fucking depresses me ive cut myself considered suicide over it havent slept good in years because of it all my depression shit started in 8th grade because that shit sucked and it hasnt gotten any better ive only ever had one fun class and that was workshop or woodshop whatever the fuck its called anyways i liked it because it was some art projects n shit i could make cool shit in that class and ive wanted to take another art class but my dad doesnt want that i asked for it for 10th grade and he just told the school "no" so idk i tried taking a guitar class in 10th grade but the teacher was a fucking bitch we got test every singe fucking day and he didnt help us learn or neither was he fun he just fucking complained and yelled if you didnt do one not exactly fucking right it was depressing and not fun maybe i would have stayed if the teacher wasnt a bitch but he was so fuck that class and fuck him and co-op i dont even wanna get started with that shit i hated it i had a co-op at some place called the boys and girls club in a spot called the digital creative arts center which sounded fucking awesome but actually it sucked first thing i tried doing there was a music production section but the teacher sucked and i had to stay in a cramped ass room with like 10 other people which fucking sucked and i hate being around people so i quit that shit-

[curiousskelekitty]

Hey, I'm sleep deprived and blasted on weed, let's see the reasons why I think I'm autistic

I'm awakemd super from a super high nap. And it's by the smoke and smell of incenst and can't get back to sleep until incest was out and fan on

Eye contact? Either really focused on making it and not listening or focused on conversation and eyes Drifting away

Say exact same way of hello at job

And other things

Sensitive to wet and cold so much that made it part of her image

Staying awake to make this list

Even though I'm supe r high and running on 3 hors sleep, latte, and pizza and 4 hb eggs

Adhd 

Special interest in pokemon most of 26 year life

Creative

And loves child things like video game sand toys, special plush toys

And weird sex too

Like even when child me MASTURBAGED WITHOUT KNOW WHAT IT WAS

sorry tmi 

Holy ahky I discovered something abot me that I didn't know

Wow

Anyways

Loves reading

And loud music during loud lunch during hs

Sensitive to loud noises like toilet as child

An dlole sonic

Oh shit

It late

Waited blanket for win! Special as adult

Fighting slep to write this once again

Super shy

Talked in labg with sister when 

Adhd

Goes to speech therapy 

Because I don't talk

Or maybe lisp

Idk

Imaginary friends until second grade

First friend grade younger 

No friends in my grade until MIDLE SCHOOL

I think

Sorry no remember 

This list loooooong

Writing still very clean

Nose so dry

Oh shkt Don her 

He didn't say anything about me being up

I'm supposed to be asleep

Sh

lol

Argue with my self 

Like all the time

I even fight with my ocs

lol

Autism brain go

Special cartoon likeys 

Just explained idea for video for YouTube to boo and we might collaborate

My mouth so drunk 

Suuuuuper sensitive to socks on feet at night! Even in winter

But can't walk out iputaide without shoes 

Can feel EVERYTHKNG 

Loves swimming

BUT NOT RAIN

RAIN MAKE USBWEY

sinuses dry as hell  I can feel the air coming in my nose and down my throat

Hereditary 

Also likes anime and furries

Has phases of certain likes or Dislikes

Like love reading but then don't love reading

Hating spicy for most of life

But finding a love from some as long as there's flavors 

Mexico is so pretty

Making list like this

All the time

Will hypet focus on certain things for maybe a week

And it goes in curses 

Ow though hurt for typing 

Do stretches kids

Never admitted to watching porn whe her life insists of romances 

Daydreamer

Ever since litter

First lover

Cucumber Larry

When he gets suck on by giat alien ad hero

That turned me on

AS A KID IN CHURCH

not even four years old

wft

This might be really revealing about me and my life

��

Okay

This Is where I add more to the title of this video

To warn me of the dangers

Of whatever the fuck I'm on

Could probably make this list over 200 points 

Listn3s to music at night 

Might be slightly dyslexic 

Swimming

Vocal Stimson

When found out about stimming

Showed more stimming

So mad

Just took like 1 min to fix stimmong to swimming 

Make little songs whole life

Wow hide in DC bathroom. And sing sad songs to my self

Don't really to that anymore

Ah shit it's late

I need to pee

Sleeps with toys still

Like stuffed animals

Once could not fall sleep until Carla into toybox

Only woke up because got hot

BISEXUAL AD FUCK

when I was little I was looking g in the mirror and ask if I was more otm boy or girly Gil and decided I was in the middle

If that not nonbinary as FUCK than what is

Thinking g about if the video went famous and FIL saw and reacted

Whole family know

Please be warned 

Really sensitive about certain flavores in certain tempt

Those might go on Tumblr though

Incous make a lookout of people laugh 

And no one would know

Damn thos list loomg

STRETCH TIME

often godb what if whole world kno

I could go on and on

But I think I will conclude here 

Thank you everyone for reading

Good night

LoL

You wish

I'm very empathic

I forget words all the time

Especially with age

Always had bad memory

Selective hearing

Forms who they are around eho they with

But my baby let me be me❤️

Sinsirve tk sounds

I'm probably going to talk to my therapist about this list next week

Realized made horrible ablist joke in my head and realized it and was like tf why

Intrusive thoughts

Holly fuck

I can do this

And this

And

This 

So easily 

I love animals 

Dep3ndent and independent at the same time

Anxiety 

Depression 

I'm still making the list dumbadd

My bad

Too much of a topical thing like lotion makes me feel icky 

Hated mosquitoe spray because of sticky residue and smell

Hayes perfume

Sensitive to some smells, like perfume

Body pray okay tho

And candles

Loves sweets

LOVES TO READ

Can't focus on reading

Super aware of body

Hates being touched unexpected or by stranger

Said loved all colors and didn't have official favorite color until like first grade because didn't want to hurt other colors favorite

Still doesn't have least favorite color

"Lazy"

But I'm not suppsoes to coll me that

Realistic

Made day dreams befo3e bed every night

Had one going on for about a month

Googles everything 

Okay I'll go to 200

Then I'll go to sleep

Lover of computers when little

Still love them

Have several unwritten stories to tell, including like three books and three or more wannabe books

Wrote toriko slitty fanfiction church

Drew a the time

Sonic the hedged hog fan

Loves pun so much

Made up "Copper later" for funny goodbye

Lives all her sisters

And all bet peanut

Hates pumpkin guts and still hate the feeling of them

Picky eater

May13b first 2023

Special interest in music

Went into band for school ad a trumpet and played for most of life until high school graduates but was never good at it.

That sucks

I could've learned how to song better

Now that I realize my voice is good and can be better

Hates needles 

Squeamish 

Spiritual 

Loves crystals Spiritually

Believes in a carefree, unknowing god

Two more to go

AUTISM BLAST

Weird obsession with sex since really little

Oh shkt

Just remembered something

That I never told anyone! Fucm 

I won't tell you guys

Never

Okay 

Good night

I love you

[bigcinnamonroll]

Hey bai,

It may sound cliche, but please allow me to express my feelings for you over the last several days or weeks. I don't know where to begin sa totou lang bc andaming talagang nangyari, but I have always found you to be a pretty fascinating person. I love the cool vibes you give off, and you definitely have my attention. I admire how you handle things in your own way, how you handle yourself without relying on others, the way you act and move, the way you tell jokes and get along with other people effortlessly, how you act as "bobordz" while still being able to look expensive— and the way you open up to me about your past makes me feel very unique. I feel like you have a huge trust on me & rest assure that everything you share with me will remain confidential. maybe this are the reasons why i started to like you or have a crush on you?? maybe bc i like the idea of you.

but anyway, you always can count on me to listen to you, so don't be hesitant to reach out to me if anything bothers you. im confessing through this bc i can't find any courage to tell you this in person. don't worry, di porket i have a crush on you doesn't means you have to like me back also. im not asking anything in return naman e kaya don't get pressure. i mean it's up to you nmn if u reject me or like me back diba? just let me have this thing i have for you til it fades.

my feelings are not yet deep, but i also don't have any plans to make this worst, I still want to keep being friends with you muna as I still want to learn more about you. I might end up destroying my wellbeing if I allow myself to fall in love with you. I can't afford to let someone else take advantage of me once more. I know you like someone else, and I won't be letting myself get fooled again for the nth time. feeling fades anyway, and it is what it is.

this is one of my favorite photos of us, and I kinda find it cute. It's my first time posting someone I like because it's really not my thing, but I guess this one person made me do it. I don't know what got into me, but I don't care haha! im writing this to clarify things specially my thoughts and feelings bc i know i don't stand a chance saimo but likewise... i won't ask anything in return.

i really appreciate you & akoa napud ning responsible akong feelings. hopefully you don't feel uncomy when im around ug everytime gina sungog tang duha that's why usahay dili ko mo dikit nimo sa seats. di ko gusto mo abot sa point mo avoid ka namo, gusto nako smooth lang ang dagan sa tanan. dili pod ko showy na tawo kay usually naga remain silent lang ko so yeah HAHAHHAHA

—

[userpeggycarter]

Hi, I love your blog and the space you've created on here; I'm basically a long time follower, first time asker. I know this is a silly place to ask for advice on things such as this: but I have a hard time around the holidays due to my family circumstances. This year in particular has been more difficult and lonely than the years before, and I feel especially isolated. Do you have any words of wisdom or activities you'd recommend? Even shows/books/movies that may take my mind off things for the rest of the year? Thank you so much!

hi anon,

first of all, i hope you see this because it's a bit late (and for that i apologise, i swear i wasn't ignoring you). second, thank you for considering me in such times, it's wild that my silly little blog might be amusing even useful for somebody and that my advice is something someone might be interested into. and no, it's not silly for you to ask a tumblr user for advice. sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger. isn't that what therapist is like, a bit?

and i get what you're feeling, in part. i'm a lonely person myself and i struggle with that, but what i've learned is that you got to fight against your loneliness. it's hard, but it's good for you. maybe reach out to friends you don't longer talk (a lot) to or to even friendly acquaintences, you don't know what friendships you might get if you put in the effort. it took a lot time for me to realize that, that friendship is work. i used to think that it blossomed expontaneously and it kinda does, but you also need to put effort in it, like a bean that naturally grows on a cotton ball but only survives in (real) good soil. most of times, that effort needs to be digital because of how lonely (modern) adulthood is and that might be a good or a bad thing for you, i don't know. it's both easier and more difficult at the same time, but it has to be done. even if it's just a little bit everyday, because Rome wasn't build in a day etc.

if that is difficult to you, i would suggest you look into discord servers. for any interest that you have, there's a discord server about it, i promise you. if not a server, maybe community on tumblr. hell, even facebook is useful sometimes, with their specific ass communities. reddit, even! the old internet was for that, to find communities and i don't know about you, but i'm feeling nostalgic.

you mentioned activities and i don't know abot you, but i can't live without a hobby a creative hobby, i might add. regular hobbies are good, but they can depend too much on external factors. if you collect something, you need money to keep your habit, etc. if you don't have any creative hobbies, don't be afraid to suddenly start one. you're gonna suck at it first, but then so does everybody. and the point of a creative hobby is not to be good at it anyway, it's to create. it exists for itself. it eases the mind. i can't meditate for shit, i can't keep my mind blank for a lot of time. but when i'm creating something? the moody part of my brain keeps shut. i'm focused on my thing. it's therapeutic. drawing, giffing, playing, dancing, acting, whatever, art is good for the soul.

for me, i like to make gifs. i used to be big on pixel art, too. and i've messing around with photoshop since i was a kid. (if you can't afford adobe products, don't worry, neither do i hihihi). there are… ways. i also like video and audio editing. photography. drawing. baking. writing. write fanfic, yo. you must like a character a lot. write about them having the best day of their lives, and the worst. write them meeting Joe Biden. go nuts! or write something original. don't think about if it's good or not, just do it. do you only eat food because it is good for you or because you like the feeling? create because of the feeling of creation. it's a natural high. best drug ever.

and lastly… media. reading, watching stuff, listening to stuff. i don't know your taste, but here's advice that works on everybody: go backwards. so you like heist movies, for example. watch old movies of the genre, really old. (i don't know if you're the type to consume old media, if that's the case pardon me and also… maybe try similar foreign media, if you can find any?). read or watch essays about it. find podcasts about your favorite topic, there has to be one. make web weaving posts with your favorite book quotes and art piece. make memes about it (i love specific memes, even the ones i don't fully get).

now, here's a few of my media recommendations: The X Files. again, if you already watched this, pardon me. but if didn't, great. it has 200+ episodes. are all of them great? no, but TXF is like pizza, even bad TXF is good. you like comedy? there is comedy! do you like drama? there is drama! do you like aliens? do you like long character arcs? we have them! do you like procedurals, monster of the week shows? guess what!

still on sci-fi, i would also suggest a show. and another show. and another another show. and a lot of movies too… i'm talking about Star Trek. all of it. is everything good? no. but it's good journey either way. also, it's a long journey, so you'll be busy! and the star trek fandom is one of the best. it's old as balls. it has people of every kind and age. it's a dedicated community. it's also one of the worst fandoms out there, but you learn to distance from the bad crowd. it's like family.

movies… watch foreign movies. (you might need to look on how to pirate them, though). watch old movies. do movie challenges through lists on letterboxd! lists on there are useful, especially if you don't know how to navigate old Hollywood/foreign cinema. if you look trough my reference or resources tag, there are lists of movies on Youtube that you can watch for free. if you can, pay for Mubi, even it's only for a month.

next, comics. not necessarily superhero comics (but that could be a suggestion, too! there'sa lot of it and despite the bad rep, superhero comics can be good!), but comics in general, people don't usually read a lot of those. read Blacksad. Robert Crumb. Ed Brubaker. Will Eisner. Jeff Lemire. Matt Fraction. Alison Bechdel. research genres that you like, there's gotta be a comic about it. look for the Eisner nominees and winners. read the classics, Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes, Tintin.

it's been a while since i've read a book (kinda going through a mental block at the moment), but my go to choice is always the classics. not just english classics, but world classics too. Gabriel García Marquez. Julio Cortazar. Fernando Pessoa. José Saramago. Jorge Luis Borges. Machado de Assis. read feminist theory and queer theory (NO TERF STUFF). Judith Butler, for example. bell hooks. Audre Lorde. i think that's it? i could go on for longer, but i need to contain myself. and if you want to (and only if you want to), anon, you can talk to me off anon, i would love to talk to you! :)

i hope you get out of your funk soon! and good luck and good vibes for you, whatever your situation is, things will get better, i promise! and happy new year, if we don't talk again until then! ❤️

[sebadztian]

Oh wow! That's a very detailed analysis! Thanks for sharing! Please don't apologize! I enjoy reading your essays!!

Somewhat shorter but still long response under the cut

I love your point about Ciel's faith. I did make a post about it a while back and iirc, it was you who responded with the panels from the Indian Butler arc about 'faith' and 'love', how Seb used to say that he and Ciel can't achieve that, but then, he proved himself wrong in Campania. Even finding a lifeboat, pushing it away from the crowd, and fighting the BDs on that little boat while protecting Ciel weren't easy to do in his condition. But he did it anyway. If Ciel truly believes in him, if he ordered Seb to win, then Seb will have bigger chance of winning against UT.

You also brought up a good point abot Seb's true form and how he can shapeshift and dodge the Scythe altogether. We don't know what Seb can actually do in his true form. I agree that UT is tough and he's not one to be underestimated, and the only way that Seb can win is if the fight is done under very specific conditions that would give Sebastian every little advantage that he'd need, with the biggest being Ciel himself - as you've said.

I think UT is quite something, but I'll cheer for our dorky demon nonetheless! Until then... Ciel and Seb will continue to grow together until they reach that point when Ciel's faith and belief in his demon would allow him to win the battle - although I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't come out unscathed.

I also agree with your point about Seb's arrogance. But then again, he's improved somewhat in that department. He is still arrogant in Weston (taunting UT for sending Agares after him), but this time, he got his priority straight (even UT seemed to approve). I made a post about this too a while back.

Your point of drawing a parallel between Ciel and UT in chess is very interesting. I've never thought about it that way! And you're absolutely right! Ciel & UT act, but Seb reacts. I know that even Yana herself has said that Seb is the kind of person who'd jump into a fight without thinking about it, but his fight with Grell shows that he can think of a strategy (using his coat to stop Grell's rotating blade).

Provided that they're both at their full power (Seb in his true form, he doesn't need to worry about Ciel, or being interrupted by other Reapers, etc)

[phantomrose96]

oh don’t worry ABoT can definitely be a weekend read, i just read it start to chapter 39 from 2am to now (and still got a solid 8 hours of sleep somehow) ! couldn’t put it down honestly. amazing job at reconceptualizing the characters in this worst case scenario alternate universe in a way that feels believable and not contrived — not pulling any punches (ritsu and teru are … pretty awful, in particular) but not in a sensationalist dead-dove-dont-eat way at all which i really really appreciate. teru and ritsu are awful but ultimately sympathetic because they really do feel like natural extensions of their character arcs had canon played out differently. it would’ve been really easy to take this and make it into either an Everyone Is Evil I Am So Edgy story or a But They All Come Together Through The Power Of Friendship, so thank you for not doing that! while reigen is my favorite, i love ritsu & teru’s relationship — it’s so nuanced but well developed. cant wait to see what happens next!

(ABoT)

Oh you get it

Oh You Get It........

Hahahhahhhhhaaa.............................................

Literally when I saw the first ask before you sent the follow up, my first thought was like "!!!! you get it! gosh I wish that woulda applied to all those people from 2017-2018 who labeled ABoT torture p//or/n" but I wasn't gonna actually bring that up because like even talking about that time always feels like I'm putting myself on the defensive.

But.... god haha yeah..... I didn't write anything for almost 3 years after that. I thought about ABoT every damn day for that almost-3-year hiatus. It was already planned out! It had an ending! It just made me so sad because I believed I couldn't come back to it because I couldn't Do This Again.

It was just... utterly heart-breaking, utterly devastating, downright confusing how this fic which is so focused on the slow and messy and hard work of recovery was being branded "oh it's sadistic twisted fucked-up torture p//or//n of children and the author is a sick fuck".

I know it's dark!! It's dark and no one has to read it and I've tagged it for the things that are dark and I put content warnings in front of every chapter! But it's dark because I care about how much a tiny flicker of light can mean in the darkness.

I... care about media that doesn't just brush traumatic happenings under the rug and go "so that happened, anyway." I care about trauma that isn't ignored. I care about the characters who can't just brush it off - who come out worse because of it - I care about them and what the slow and ugly and sometimes backwards progress of recovery looks like. I care about characters who absolutely Fuck Up and face consequences for it. I care about characters who are messy and need time and cannot be fixed with a single nice word. I care about making the audience care about what the characters have lived through, and how it hurt them. I'm rooting for all the characters in ABoT. They're all trying to find their own flicker of light in the dark. I care so so so so so much about that.

And it absolutely destroyed me to see a whole group of friends in the fandom (who, mind you, were annoyed with ABoT for a while. I saw their posts show up when I searched 'ABoT', and who tried to pin a couple problematic labels on ABoT and couldn't get anything to stick until 'torture p//o//rn") rip apart ABoT's reputation because ALL they needed to say was "ABoT is an au where Mogami kidnaps and tortures Mob for 4 years. It's awful and gross and problematic and don't read it and if you do YOURE problematic."

And I saw it time and time again (again, in the ABoT tags! in MY tag, sometimes.) Someone would make a post like "if you're an ABoT stan don't follow me" and some clueless anon would be like "whats ABoT" and they'd answer the above and that was it. No one wanted to risk getting into "problematic" stuff so people just accepted it. Even more neutral people didn't have the time or reason to investigate that further and just accepted it, assuming whoever was speaking had read it, even if in reality none of them had.

I got death threats. They made hate-blogs of ABoT. They made memes shitting on ABoT. They spammed the ABoT tag and the phantomrose96 tag. They spammed sandflake's tag and drove them away same as me. They raided and spammed the ABoT discord. They made posts celebrating how long it had been since ABoT updated. They made posts trying to accuse me of pe//do//philia (for NO reason. NONE. NO REASON. NO EVIDENCE. It was just an effective word to get people run off the site. and luckily that accusation died because there was literally nothing to base it on.) ALL the while framing what they were doing as totally in the right because they were JUST calling out torturous child-abusing fic.

I really tried. When all this started, I stopped tagging anything ABoT related with m/p/100, so I wouldn't bother people. If I found ABoT art tagged with m/p/100, I'd wait a day to reblog it so it wouldn't accidentally rise high in the tag and bother people. Sometimes I WOULDN'T reblog art because I didn't want the artist to risk getting threatened. I mostly stopped talking about ABoT on tumblr, so I wouldn't bother people.

But it fucking gets to you after a while. I started believing they were right. My mental health was extreme garbage at this time (for reasons unrelated to this all) but that meant I couldn't brush any of it off. ABoT was kinda the one little spark of joy I had at this time and then I just. Didn't anymore. It got taken away.

I would write every sentence through the lens of my worst critic. I tried SO many times to start chapter 25 back in 2018. I could only get a page in at most. (Originally it was going to be the mall movie theater scene that ends up happening in chapter 27) and I'd balk at jokes I was trying to write. There was going to be a joke about the movie being a sort of in-universe Twilight, where the two love interests uncannily resembled Ritsu and Teru. And I froze up because. Was that problematic? If Teru was seeing the movie because Mei wanted to, was that sexist? If Teru himself wanted to see it, was that homophobic? Was the Twilight reference problematic? Was the joke about the love interest resemblance problematic? Would the irreverence of the joke be problematic? Would this be what they get me on? Would this be my undoing? Would this be the final nail in my coffin?

I found these old drafts somewhat recently and they are just. Lifeless. They are so barren of any kind of passion or heart. I re-read it and see just how painful it was to get from one sentence to another. I was burnt out and afraid of every word and those drafts would never ever have worked.

Hell, when I did write chapter 25 for real, in 2020, I gave up entirely on making it the movie scene. Trashed that. Started from scratch. That well was far far too tainted to draw from.

I just. aaa. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Sorry for the long post but ahhhhhhh. I gave up my favorite and most meaningful hobby for almost 3 years. This was still happening in 2019 when season 2 aired, when I hadnt been truly active on Tumblr for ages and hadn't touched ABoT in years. JUST so they could be sure to taint the well again and tell any new fandom comers to stay away from ABoT. I had no spoons and no spine for it so I just, let that happen, and unfollowed the ABoT tag. I still haven't seen season 2.

I'm so SO glad I figured out how to come back to it in 2020, and that people have been so supportive, and I mostly try not to talk about this stuff but. it fucks with you. it fucks with you a lot.

I'm just really happy to have been able to come back to it.

[considermygenderminecrafted]

Man fuck. I really do like, mourn for Wilbur in a lot of ways. There are a lot of worlds where things turned out better, and there are a lot of worlds where he learnt that love and care are not earnt before now.

There are worlds where he never tried to give Phil the honey back, There are worlds where whatever happened that made him rely so strongly on buildin power structures to feel safe didn't happen. There are worlds where Quackity sayin he never thought of him doesn't feel like dying. There are worlds where he was able to regret what he did, and feel guilty for his actions and move forward anyway without sinkin and spiralin and trying to double down. There are worlds where Tommy said he didn't want to talk about it and that was the end of the conversation. There haeve been turnin points on turnin points on turnin points. There are worlds where he got help and he got better and things weren't such a fuckin tragedy. He's been hurt really badly. He never got what he needed. Those are worlds we never got to see

But I have so much like.. pride n hope for him in this world as well??

We got this world, where he died because he was sad and his son doesn't want to talk to him (and it's okay, he's okay with it. He'll be alright if that's what Fundy needs even if he can't think about it right now-) and he was president of a nation losing it due to his own insolence, short-sighted naivete, disregard for his fellow citizens whom he claimed to love so much and a dark, twisted understanding of what was possession and what was his right. Where things are hard and he falls back into bad habits and he's still trying anyway.

Someone told him the world is cruel and the only way to get by is to grasp to control anyway you can, and he is havin to unlearn something that kept him alive up until now. That's not... pretty.

But he's fuckin tryin anyway. And he's doin it. He's gettin there. He fucked up with Tommy this time, he might not be ready to figure it out with Tommy yet- but he really is tryin to de-center himself in his apologises, and lettin go of the idea the only thing that will give him a chance at a future is forgiveness. It's swings and round abots, its ups and downs, it's not all roses but he keeps trying because he wants to get better and he wants things to be alright. I really do think he has every capacity to be alright and safe and happy and loved and cared for and to care. For all I say about Wilbur soot, for all the things he's done and will do I still thing he's fuckin brave for doin this anyway, for fuckin up and hurting people and confrontin that and tryin to do better despite it.

I'm lovin the apology tour arc so damn much

[writerdream22]

requested by: no one, but I sincerely hope you like this anyways ✨🌻💛

pairings: levi ackerman x wife!reader, eren jeager x reader (platonic), hange zoe x reader (platonic), erwin smith x reader (platonic), etc.

warnings: none

taglist: @randomfandomimagine (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

a/n: I know I haven't been posting in a long while, and that I have lots and lots of pieces to work on. I've been watching aot for a while, and I wanted to write something regarding that fandom

You and Levi had met when you were just teenagers; you were the daughter of a scouting legion commander, and Erwin's new friend had caught your attention

Just like an ordinary introvert person, you were really shy, and it was Erwin himself who introduced you to Levi, Farlan and Isabel

“They seem like nice people, you know?”

“Uh?”

“The kids from the underground city. You should go introduce yourself”

“They're criminals, Erwin. I won't go talk to them. They will surely snob me as soon as they see me”

“Trying doesn't hurt. And if they say something, just use the moves you learnt while training.”

“If you say so”

You were intimidated, especially by Levi. But it seemed that he was willing to talk to you

“Hi, uhm, my name is— my name is y/n”

“We know who you are”

“Erwin told us lots about you! I'm Isabel, and these two boys are Levi and Farlan”

“I just wanted to know if the three of you needed someone to show you around”

“Kids, cadet y/l/n will show you around. All right?”

“Yes sir!”

You immediately thought that it was a bad idea to be left alone by yourself, with people you didn't know. Erwin knew well that you felt anxious around newcomers, but he sincerely wanted you to have some friends.

The tour went all right; you and Isabel had immediately gotten along, while it took you a few months to warm up to Levi and Farlan

As time went on and you were slowly becoming autonomous, people started to think that you and Levi were actually related and that you had somehow been separated at birth; you were both quite short, with dark hair and light-colored eyes

Not to mention that you both loved tea

When you became part of the scouting legion, you were happier than ever even though you were fully aware of the risks you were taking

When Isabel and Farlan died, you and Levi were devastated. You had set aside your grief, and stayed by Levi's side

“What are you doing here?”

“Couldn't sleep. You?”

“Neither could I. I was making some tea, do you want some?”

“Yeah, Levi, thank you”

“Would you like to talk about — about that?”

“No, not really”

“Oh, well— can I braid your hair instead? It calms down the two of us. Me and Isabel had so much fun doing that, remember?”

“Tch, I hated it. But yeah—braid my hair, y/n”

You and Levi shared a sweet moment. You didn't talk, nor you wanted to, but you comforted each other just with your presence.

As time went by, you and Levi got extremely close. The two of you became corporals, giving Erwin the condition of always having to work together no matter what

The only people that the two of you became friends with, or just cared about, were Hange and your squad

One day, while you and the other corporals of the scouting legion were having breakfast, Hange made a sarcastic remark about how you and Levi were close

“Can't you just leave each other alone for a minute?”

“We just care about each other, and we respect our boundaries”

“Seems like you have some— that you share romantic feelings for each other, eh? ”

“What do you mean, Hange?”

“Yeah, this is ridiculous. Let's go, y/n, we need to prepare for our next mission”

Hange's words really sparked something in your soul. You started to think abot the relationship that you and Levi had, the special treatment you reserved for each other even though you were famous for being strict...

One day, you decided to confront him

“Hi”

“Hi, y/n, is everything all right?”

“Yeah. Have you— have you thought about what Hange said?”

“Yeah...”

“I did too, by the way”

“And what did you want to tell me about it?”

“She was right. I do have romantic feelings for you, but I need to know that you feel the same before I pour my heart out to you”

“Levi, please say something”

“I don't just like you, y/n, I love you. And now, come here—”

Then and there, he kissed you. Your first kiss, just like you had imagined.

You decided to keep your relationship a secret for a while, as you didn't want Hange to know that she was right. She found out anyways, and she told everyone.

After a few years, you decided to get married. You were extremely happy, and you couldn't ask for anything else in the world.

“With this ring, I give you my soul. With this ring, I put my trust in you, and hope to live by your side until we grow old. Meeting you was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. I wanted a splinter of happiness in that pathetic, dark void I had grown accustomed to call life. Meeting you fulfilled my dream of becoming a better man. With this ring, you make me happy, and I hope that I'll make you happy as well. Meeting you made me learn what true love is. I love you, y/n, always and forever”

As a team, Levi was deemed as more important by your superiors. Sometimes, they didn't even address themselves to you and just talked to your husband.

“Sir, my wife here also contributed to the mission. I think that you should congratulate yourself to her, as well”

Levi always looked out for you, making sure that every single detail was to your liking. As everyone knew, he showed his vulnerable self to only you, and you were grateful for the trust he had given you.

“Are you ok, darling?”

“Yeah. You're still working on those papers, eh?”

“I just have to sign a few things, then I have to meet up with Erwin. Tch, this stuff is so tiring sometimes”

“We can take a walk around the compound later, if you want. Then, I can make you some tea”

“That would be fantastic, y/n. You're really the best wife in the world”

“I'm your only wife, Levi”

The whole situation that emerged from the apparition of abnormal titans stressed you out, quite a lot nevertheless. Levi had noticed it, and saw that you were more nervous than usual. He made sure to always ride by your side, to always be able to keep his eye on you.

He knew what stress did to you. It made you more vulnerable, more subject to distractions, and he didn't want to lose you at all.

During one of your many missions, where you had the unpleasant surprise of meeting the female titan, you got severely hurt.

“What were you thinking?!”

“I wanted to save our squad! I wanted to save Petra, Oluo, everyone! But I couldn't!”

“You risked your life, y/n! You could have died, you know that?”

“I sure do, Levi! That's what soldiers do! They die, after having done something good for humanity, and I lived a pretty decent life! I got married, I had friends, but I am alive now! I am all right, it's just routine”

“You can't just do things recklessly. I can't stand losing you. Not now, not ever. I want to build a family with you, I want to live my life with you and only you. You can't die, you got it?”

“Yes, Levi. I'm sorry”

“Let me get you some tea, now”

That's when you fully understood that Levi loved you. You had managed to warm up his heart with your sweet and kind words, and he'd managed to conquer yours with just a look in your eyes.

[bee-ships]

What's this? 💌🐐 A volt goat with a hastily sealed letter wrapped around it's neck has something for you!

Dear Mama,

I ain’t never wrote nothin before but Mr. Weaver is helpin me! Not much anyways. Spellin is hard and Mrs. Barn…Bar…the scary lady back in the bad place neve ever let me near the books. Said somefin abot me needin to do things “useful”? Anyways! Writin is as hard as runnin from 1st ave to 34th street in the rain durin lunch hours! Specially wiff thees claws! I wonder if I could power all of the city if I stood on top of a reeeeeaaally tall buildin and got hit durin a storm!

Oh, right…Sorry! My brain was rattlin in the wrong place! Mr. Wilson told me about this day thing, abouts tellin people you love em? He was goin ons and on about somefin he was gonna do for you and I was thinkin golly! I wanna do that too! I ain’t never heard of somefin like that before and youse the cat’s pajamas, mama!

You made everythin better and it hurts to think much about the other place. The other kids needed me and Im here instead of there…

But I never even imagined I could have a family! And youse helped those kids too. Back when you gave me all that money for one pape! I got lots of foods for the kids! Millie would like you, I thinks. She’s only five. Was? I dunno how long we’s been gone. She reminds me of you a little! Both of ya’s have pretty curly hair! She likes music too! I remember I had to sing for her to sleep some times.

I got off track again didn’ I? What I was meanin’ to say was that you changed everyfin for me and them. Youse made me feel ok here. Its scary and lots of work here but I have you! And Mr. Wilson. And the others too! And mama, youse like the strings we used to wrap up the news! You keep us all close! Here I has a family. Maybe its harder here maybe its not but no matter how hard it is we got each other! Its less scary wiff you! And I know Mr. Wilson feels the same. He smiles when around ya and his face gets all puffy red! Gets all weird and stuff. I think ya make him sick, but a good sick! Ya think a doctor would know bout that sort a thing?

I just wanna tell ya how much I love ya too. I wanna help ya wiff everythin! You knows I’m always here to help! Im the quickest runner in camp and I gots two arms for carryin! I can jump real high too! So take it easy, okay mama? Don’ put it all on you all the times! You need to be nice to you too! We could play in the snow some times if you wanna or maybe you can takes a nap under the big tree in camp and I can do your chores! Youse the bestest mama in the world and I don want anythin happenin to you on my watch! Not even a big mean loud one eyed deer lady can hurt ya when Im here!

—Wyette

The end of the letter is scribbled with poorly drawn hearts. The handwriting is a tad shaky but just legible enough...he seemed to have struggled holding a pencil between his claws. There's even a small hole in the bottom, just the size of something tiny and sharp.

These are happy tears I promise

[milkymeaty]

im cleaning up the au so it's more comprehensible :D here's some basic laid down notes (got long sorry):

chell used to be human, glados has never been human, and the cores (including rage and morality from p1) are spirits that take the form of balls of fire

the candle that "curses" chell is actually an apparition possessing the flame of the candle that chell lit; as such the flame has never burned out

the apparitions' overall intention was to kill chell slowly from the inside out by infesting her body the longer she stayed near the flame, which was too long

it's infestation caused her to have stomach aches that would leave her incapacitated, and her left eye (haha) would constantly be irritated to the point where she'd only ever see a bright light in place of anything

at some point chell decides to enter the woods in hopes of finding some form of comfort along with what she still thinks is her best means of warmth and happiness (the candle)

the apparition decides to kill her then, only it failed to realize it's presence was thoroughly unwanted by another entity inhabiting the woods

glados, having sensed an unwelcome guest in her domain, tracks the apparition and kills it before it could kill chell, but in doing so glados kills chell anyway

before it's completely snuffed out of her body, the apparition makes it so that chell can never be human again, in appearance or otherwise, should she survive (spoiler; she still died)

so chell does straight up die, that was never an exaggeration or anything, but it doesn't stay that way for long

now into the nitty-gritty; the reason chell becomes an eldritch beast in the first place is becuz of both the apparition's curse and glados' involvement

glados kills her point blank period, she's killed humans before nothing special, but this particular happenstance is different in that this human had been infested by a low tier apparition attempting to put a curse on her

glados killing the apparition, and chell to an extent, gave way for the body to still allow any inhabitance to take over, it basically becomes a husk

chell, now a wandering spirit, can still feel what little warmth her body had and diverts back towards it, only it's different now, becuz she is inhabiting an already dead body, and on top of that, she no longer recalls who she is

when she comes back, she knows right away that she is something Other, not right, not human, invading a body that was once hers and yet she has no idea

from then on chell learns how to be a human again, but it's hard becuz this body is too small, too weak, it can't hold all of her being, her desires, her hunger,, so she stretches it out and creates a new form, using the other as a disguise

she spends 20 years learning thru this disguise, meets glados along the way, creates a "human guide" persona for the fun of it, and all in all becomes a horror that terrorizes the city along with glados :)

i think thats abot it but yeah!!! eldritch horrors fun fun fun :D