jordanspiars
Tightrope Walking
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Fandom Hopper, Fanfic Writer, and lover of all things creative
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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“We Have Lost America to the Irish!” – How Steve Rogers is completely, 100%, to the bone, an Irishman
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I am going to rant on Steve Rogers and Irish identity :)
I’ve seen more stuff on Steve speaking Irish Gaelic as his first language than on his actual cultural heritage that would have shaped the kind of person he is, so I wanted to fill in the void a bit.
There’s lots of discussion as to why Steve is the way he is, and the fact that he’s an Irishman never gets any credit, even though most major elements of his character can be seen in the Irish character.  This is from an MCU perspective, because I don’t have the funds for comics :(
Before we get started, disclaimer: I am nearly 80% Irish, had a nana that loved doing research into her family’s heritage so my Irish roots are mush stronger than the average Irish American, and still have family living there.  I’m not trying to offend anyone.  I am doing this for perspective on what one of my favorite characters probably experienced, which probably played a huge role in shaping his view on the world.
The Irish are prone to laugh off people making jokes about us, because we have a sense of humor and can see ourselves for what we are.   We’re very self-depreciating.
Who else is self-depreciating?  Steve.
Steven Grant Rogers is the archetypical Irishman.  He’s feisty, rebellious.  He’s stubborn, argumentative, has a lightning-fast retort always at the tip of his tongue.  Steve is dedicated to liberty and justice, not because he’s an American, but because he’s Irish.
There is not an ounce of doubt in my mind that, even without proper canonical conformation, Steve is the Irish Catholic son of two Irish immigrants.  (Yes, his dog tags said “P”, but either that’s an oversight of the prop department or Steve not seeing a point in making a fuss over something like religion.  I don’t have many good Catholic characters that I know well, so please don’t take Catholic Steve from me.)
His view on women didn’t come from nowhere.  Maybe he has some internalized misogyny, all of us do, but he tries to move past what little he does have.  He’s got the Irish perspective on gender roles: men, while the breadwinners and heads of house, were the ones who tore families apart, with excess drinking and brawling.  Women ran the house and held the family together in the face of the men’s failings.  I’m not saying that’s the right way families should be, but at the heart, Steve knows how much stronger women are than me.
Hell, if you look at the list of his medical problems, most if not all are fairly common ailments among the Irish.  Heart problems, asthma, scoliosis, everything I’ve seen listed as a problem for him is something I can connect to a close relative (I read the list off to my mother, and every answer was a resounding “Yes!”)  
As for all the fevers he contracted, well, a poverty-stricken widowed immigrant would have had a difficult time putting food on the table, much less procuring medicine.  Sarah probably accelerated her own death by giving her food to Steve.  Sarah was either the daughter or granddaughter of people who survived An Gorta Mor, so she understood hunger.  Steve grew up knowing just how close starvation and sickness are.  Yet you don’t see him locking himself away.  He’s lonely, yes, but never bored.
Life isn’t lived on a time table.  Life is about making the best of what you have, and making good memories.  Yes, a lot of Steve’s daring comes from his depression, but I think it’s a way of trying to regain that zest for life.  Steve’s trying to make his life worthwhile, worth living, and maybe the only way he feels alive anymore is with the adrenaline rush.
So yeah, Steve loves adrenalin, he loves his job in certain ways.  How many Irish people are cops, firefighters, and soldiers?  They have an urgency to life, but something else as well: a passion for justice.
The love of the law for the Irish goes back to the Brehon Laws, the codes of societal conduct set up in ancient Ireland.  They’re endlessly fascinating, and funny at times, but they’re fair.  Irish society is built to kindness and compassion, but are harsh but fair on those who don’t respect society.  And any punishment is intended to teach the wrongdoer their fault, and insure they didn’t do it again.  The distinction between justice and the law is now blurred, but the respect for the law has not wavered, and anyway, the Irish have no qualms about not following an unjust law.  (“Yessir”, than goes and does what he thinks is right?)
A large part of Irish identity is the longing for freedom, the ability to be independent of oppressors.  The Irish national anthem, “A Soldier’s Song”, has a line in the chorus that reads: “Sworn to be free, no more our ancient sireland shall shelter the despot or the slave.”
The Irish are fighters, not killers.  We love to fight, but it’s a natural urge.  While areas while high Irish demographics would have high numbers of fights, murder was a rare occurrence.  “I don’t want to kill anyone.  I don’t like bullies.”  Steve understands the need to fight for what he believes in, but killing isn’t a natural solution.  The Irish fight out their differences,  then move on.  A person being able to keep his head up, even during a beating, was a guy that was considered worthwhile to the Irish.  But America doesn’t exactly have those same values.
And as for the Irish’s place in America?  It didn’t start with An Gorta Mor.  British politicians blamed Irishmen for inciting the American Colonies to rebel, one even claiming “We’ve lost America to the Irish!”  When the famine hit, suddenly there was an excess of unskilled labor, and immigrant men were put to building projects.  Skyscrapers, railroads, the Brooklyn Bridge, all were built primarily with Irish hands, and on Irish bones.   As soon as they emigrated, the Irish were just as willing to die for America as Ireland.
While maybe they might have griped a bit, never would any Irish person ever complain about hard work like that.  They had escaped from a homeland that, though beloved, was a place of suffering, hardship, and oppression.  Even terrible conditions were preferable from the past horrors they had experienced.
Steve refuses to seek out help in the 21st Century.  Sure, he complains a bit about Fury, but the only reason he heads to the VA is to see Sam.  Steve appreciates what care they give other vets, but never would he consider seeking help for himself.  Steve has seen people who are worse off than him.  Steve is the type to refuse to properly bind a sprained ankle, because someone might have a broken ankle, and they should be helped first.
I think it also connects to the overly-generous and self-sacrificing nature that is instilled into every native Irish person from birth.  It was law in Ancient Ireland that you should extend hospitality to any guest or friend who asked it of you.  There were no inns; you simply stopped by the next house and they would give you their best.  
The greatest thing Jesus taught according to Irish tradition, was “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
“To lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you”, anyone?
Now, the Irish love to argue, but it’s never pointless, or without merit.  The Irish are famed for their wit, their extraordinarily perceptive, cutting wit.  I could preach forever on the differences between Tony Stark: Man vs. Persona, but what little interaction they have had, and with the persona in full-effect, Steve still manages to see the chinks in Tony’s mental armor.  Yes, they both are terrible to each other, but the reason that scene is so heartbreaking is that it’s true, in a sense, but they both can see it in themselves.
But when the engine is blown and Tony sets off to fix it, what does Steve do?  He does his best to help.  Even though he has doubts about Tony’s moral character, he follows him without a second thought.  Why?  Despite any personal issue you might have with another person, if someone is in need of help, you help.  
And what happens when the person is a friend?  Friends are an extend part of an Irish family.  Being surrounded by good friends was the mark of a successful life and a good man.  The Irish are “gentle in friendship, fierce in battle”.  We’ll fight, but it’s for what matters most.
And what is most important to an Irish person?  Above freedom, above justice, above compassion?
Home.
Not a building.  A family, friends that are practically family.  A place where you are accepted, belong, and are loved.
“Isn’t that why we fight?  So we can go home?”
For Tony, it’s a place.  For Steve, it’s a social construct.
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I love the idea of Steve speaking Gaelic, but you know what I love more?  
• Sarah having to leave her family behind so she could make a better life for herself • Sarah crying after seeing Fastnet Rock disappear (the last piece of Ireland emigrants ever saw), then turning and focusing on the American flag • Sarah and Joseph bonding over never seeing their mothers again • Sarah being born Sorcha, and electing to change her name to the English equivalent so she could get a job • Joseph griping about “just getting off the boat and turning right around”, but signing up for service in WWI anyway • Sarah making sure her son had a good American name, but still calling him Saoirse, because he was her child of freedom • Sarah regaling her son with her stories of her childhood spent in the country, and teasing her city-boy son that he would never survive on a farm • Sarah crying over the letter her cousin sent her telling her that her mother died because they couldn’t afford medicine • Sarah taking Steve to church to pray for the newly-formed Irish Free State • Sarah teaching her son that he can be both Irish and American • Steve getting into his first fight because someone called him Mick • Steve getting into fights anytime anyone calls him or his mother Mick • Steve getting into fights anytime calls anyone a derogatory term for their race • Steve hating bullies because people can’t control what they are or where they come from • Steve never even blinking at the idea of working with a woman, because men wreaked families while women kept the together • Steve never even blinking at the idea of working with a black man, because he knows what it’s like to be considered incapable because of your parents • Steve making sure Hydra soldiers got medical treatment, if he could • Steve finding that large family that he always wanted but never had • Captain America being proud of the fact that he’s an immigrant story, and wanting to be an inspiration for others who see America as a place to be free and have a home after living in hardship • Steve singing his child to sleep with Irish folk songs, because that’s what his mother sang to him
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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Protestant Steve Rogers v. Catholic Steve Rogers and why that matters
[I’ve been sitting on this post for about three weeks, trying to decide if I wanted to make it or not. I’ve finally decided it’s time to put it out there, so.]
This essay was originally going to be added to this post about Steve’s dog-tags, but I apparently have a lot of feelings about this and it ended up being ridiculously long and sort of tangential to the original post, so I’m simply linking the two. I’ve divided the essay into three parts: church history, immigration history, and speculation.
Disclaimer: I was raised Protestant (in a non-denominational Stone-Campbell church), and I attended undergrad at a Protestant Christian liberal arts college (also Stone-Campbell). My undergraduate degree included church history, but I am definitely not an expert, so I’ve included lots of Wikipedia links to compensate. I am currently attending a Catholic university for my masters, but again, the focus has not been church history (although I have interviewed and transcribed interviews with Catholic priests from the Brooklyn Diocese as part of my classes). I know enough about church history to feel comfortable making this post, but not enough to go into further detail than what is laid out here. If I have made any egregious errors in regards to either branch’s history, please drop me a note so I can correct them.
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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I have a soft spot for Bucky re-embracing Judaism, becoming more observant than he was before, with Steve wholeheartedly supporting him through his journey, not just engaging with observance at home, but also coming with him to Shul for Shabbat and holidays and Steve seeing how important faith is for Bucky's healing and identity being a driving reason why he reconnects with Irish Catholicism; which he totally abandoned after losing Bucky the first time.
He's still not tied to the faith to the degree he was before he lost his Ma, he doesn't think he ever will be, but attending mass on the major holidays is still important to him in feeling connected to his roots. Bucky supports him just as wholeheartedly (and he tries to find ways to honour that while raising their kids as Jews), though from the comfortable distance he's always kept due to halachic requirement, instead encouraging him to branch out and him finding kinship in his faith struggles with Matt Murdock.
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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guys you don’t get it Steve speaks Irish he does we just haven’t seen it yet because everyone forgot to tell him Irish people aren’t oppressed anymore bro trust me please—
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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#(additional thesis: the format of long form comics has accidentally made bruce a shockingly realistic abuser too.) That would be an amazing essay!
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okay, this is gonna be a lot more stream of consciousness and less polished than the post these asks are in response too, but i have finally looped back around to wanting to talk about it so here goes.
First off, I don't mean to say that Bruce is, like, the most realistic depiction of an abuser ever. When I say "shockingly" I mean it less like "very" and more like "it's shocking how close they got considering literally none of this was intentional."
We talk a lot about the inherent flaws in a massive comic universe like this--so many different writers and different books and different eras bring different ideas to a character. And when that goes bad, it's awful. You end up with characters who have no baseline personality at all, who act in incomprehensible ways, who are blatantly dancing to the whims of the current writers.
But also, there's something to that exact same trapping of the medium that I love. Because people are people; we have personalities, but none of us are the same person at every moment of every day. And in a weird and accidental way, comics can hit on that so well. Different writers show the same character from slightly different angles, different eras give the most gradual character development achieved in possibly any medium, and you end up with beautifully complicated and multifaceted and dynamic characters. (Who, yes, also all have some stories that are just terrible outliers, but we're going with the average here, alright.)
So. To Bruce. And being an abusive parent.
accidental nuance.
The thing about a lot of fictional abusers is that they're completely, obviously awful all the time. They live perpetually at 100%. They walk on stage just to do something abusive, and then walk off stage until their next cue to be cruel. (There are also very nuanced and genuine portrayals of abuse out there, but let me compare and contrast here)
But Bruce? Occasionally Bruce is really great to his kids and manages to support them just how they need it. More often he makes some attempt, but can't really get there (typically because he refuses to show the degree of emotional openness that his kids need). Sometimes he just kinda doesn't consider his kids or their feelings, or he cuts them down, or he relies on them to support him. Periodically, he is so blatantly awful it's obvious to everyone.
I threw out a brief comment in that post about "a parent who is nice to their kids sometimes and abusive other times is the definition of an abusive parent" and that's exactly it. The person who is always 100% awful surely does exist somewhere, but that's not really...the most common scenario.
No matter how good or bad a parent Bruce is, he is never a flat supporting character (on account of, yknow, being dc’s single most popular character with a million starring roles). He doesn’t appear in comics just to be abusive and then leave. Even when he appears in, say, a single issue of a comic about one of his kids to act as an antagonistic force, you can guarantee he’s simultaneously appearing as the hero in another book.
And most mediums just...don’t have 80+ years to slowly build this story of a man getting gradually more closed off, getting less supportive towards his kids, then more likely to lash out, and escalating the frequency with which he does, until it’s a predictable pattern, while also having the space to maintain him as a character completely separate from his children.
cycles.
This is absolutely the most unintentional of all, and yet.
The perpetual rotation of comics writers with different ideas on Batman and his parenting approximates something...weirdly close to a realistic cycle of abuse. In the shortest description possible, that cycle is: abuser escalates -> reaches their worst point -> acts super nice and loving again in the wake of things -> repeat. And like...how many times has Bruce being abusive to his kids under one writer been followed by another writer portraying him as more open and understanding and kind to them? How many times has he insisted (even in private narration) he never hurts his kids, despite obvious history to the contrary? And he always reverts back to hurting them.
And, of course, looking at any of those nice moments in isolation, they are just nice. Looking at them with a irl perspective, it’s obviously just a tug-of-war between writers. Bruce saying he’d never hurt his kids isn’t intended to be an aspect of his abuse; it’s intended as a pleasant retcon. He doesn’t always revert to abuse because he’s an abuser with agency; he reverts because he’s a fictional character under multiple writer.
But when I started to look at it with an overall, in-universe perspective...god it is wildly easy to see those moments as the honeymoon period in his ongoing abuse. (And I don’t mean to say that’s the only way to look at them. I acknowledge writer intent and regularly enjoy when Bruce is a good dad. But I also regularly pull back to a big picture view and go like. hm. there’s a pattern here.)
a tangent.
So weirdly, the first thing that made my brain start spiraling in this direction on more than a subconscious level was the way this manifests in fanfic. Like, let's ignore all the fanworks where Bruce is portrayed as a purely good dad for the moment, okay? We're only considering fics where his abuse and flaws as a parent are fully acknowledged. And (in my anecdotal experience) even then, the conclusion is almost never that the kids should just cut him out. The conclusion is about making him a better parent. Or forcing him to at least grapple with his failings. Or giving the kids distance and safety nets, not so they can avoid him, but so they can still interact with him, just in a safer way.
And I don't mean to imply that those are bad conclusions! They are, by and large, written as incredibly compelling and complicated ways to deal with the struggle between "Bruce hurts his kids" and "his kids love him."
But it's a fascinating phenomenon to me. I can't think of a single other fandom I've seen where something like that happens. I can't imagine that flying somewhere else. Even if the protagonist loves their abusive parent or partner, the happy fic ending is always about dissuading them of that notion and getting them away.
...because all those abusers are flat and evil. But Bruce is too complicated to dismiss. Even if you do hate him, you understand the kids loving him, and you want happiness for them.
“realism” and the important point.
In terms of art and storytelling and, idk, getting at the heart of the human condition or whatever, depicting an abuser with depth and realism and ups and downs is valuable on its own. And art has inherent value as art, but in terms of “does this improve the world,” it’s also valuable to portray abusers as human so we can understand and be able to address abuse.
But the part that feels even more important to me is how key that is for the kids.
When you see the other kind of fictional abuser--the 100% evil one--you hate them from the start, because of course you do. And you hate them the whole way through. And when their victim is having complicated feelings about it, you're maybe thinking "ah, yes, I am aware that abuse is difficult and can mess with your head" but you aren't really feeling it. This person is so obviously evil. And you'd never say it about a real person, with real feelings, but with this fictional character...why do they even care about their abuser? Why do they have mixed feelings when this piece of fiction is so clearly black and white?
The thing about Bruce is that (even if you are jaded and hate him now) there was probably a time when you really wanted him to be a good parent. He's Batman! He doesn't walk on stage just to be evil; he walks on stage to be the hero, or the mentor, or the teammate, and that's how you meet him. And then you see him with his kids, and it's so easy to latch onto the nice moments. It's so tempting to point back to better times--forgetting or ignoring his flaws in those eras too.
He was a nice guy, even if he wasn't perfect. He's more closed off, but he's still trying. Okay, he hit his adult son once, but it was in a really dark moment, you see. Well maybe he's done it a few times. Look, though, he's being a great dad right now! Alright he manipulates his kids regularly and gives them little positive feedback, but he's a good dad underneath, really, we've seen it. Okay so maybe now he periodically hits a kid out of nowhere and then pretends it never happened, but he's not hitting anyone in between!
You can just...really easily put yourself in his kid’s shoes and get it, even if you’re simultaneously condemning Bruce from an objective third person perspective. Because Bruce was never introduced to be hated, never introduced to be evil. He just hurts them anyway.
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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Bruce is, in canon, an abusive parent. I am not going to equivocate on that. It’s not some wild characterization thrown in one every million comics; it’s a consistent pattern. He periodically hits his kids. He far more regularly emotionally abuses them. He makes them responsible for managing his emotional state. He neglects them. He puts expectations and responsibilities on them that are wildly unfair to put on your child. (I’m in no way including the ‘sidekicks are child soldiers’ base argument here, because I am totally willing to accept kid sidekicks in general; I’m talking more about his interpersonal expectations, and his prioritizing of the kids as Soldiers For The Mission instead of as, you know, his kids. Other heroes with kid sidekicks manage to handle it perfectly fine.) Is he also sometimes nice and kind and caring to his kids? Absolutely. There are sweet moments. But if we’re talking about a character who is kind and loving and good to his kids sometimes, and abusive to them at other times….what we’re talking about is an abuser. That’s the description of an abusive parent. The comic book character of Bruce Wayne is abusive to his children, in canon, in main continuity, regularly. There is no single writer responsible for it. (No, Bruce was abusive long before Tom King.) There is not even a single era responsible for it. (No, Bruce was abusive long before the new 52.) It’s been there for a long time. That’s point one.
It fucking sucks that Bruce is an abusive parent!! For a lot of people this sucks for the personal reason of not wanting a character they like to be abusive–maybe having gotten attached to a version of the character that is a much better parent before getting into comics. (I hear that the animated shows tend to have good dad Bruce, though I can’t personally confirm that.) But discounting personal opinions, I think on principle it sucks for two reasons: 2a. Batman is DC’s flagship character. He has four bazillion comics about him. He is arguably the most famous superhero in the world. And it really sucks that DC’s most famous hero is an abuser! This dude is 100% supposed to be a hero on the side of good, however dark and gritty he may act, and it fuckin’ sucks to have him be such a terrible parent at the same time. 2b. Most important to me, his abuse! is never! fucking! addressed! Sometimes Bruce is written abusing his kids with an awareness his actions are bad, but never with a real examination of how bad–and often glossing over that the people he’s mistreating are his children. And sometimes it’s just not acknowledged as bad at all! Batman writers vary between portraying him as abusive with zero awareness that’s what they’re doing (and often absolutely awful excuses like “well that’s just how he communicates”) and portraying him as a genuinely good dad while explicitly ignoring the previous abuse he has committed. But no comic ever actually…calls him out as abusive.
On the fan side, no one I know or have seen in this side of fandom is happy he’s an abuser. Obviously out in the big, wide world, you have plenty of people who think those claims are exaggerated and Batman sometimes hitting his kids is…uh, idk, unimportant I guess? (see: dc comics official writers.) And probably there are a few outliers who think he is more cool for it. But by and large, in this tumblr/twitter, fan-content-creating, analysis-posting area of fandom, everyone hates that Batman is canonically abusive.
And as a result of all of that, you pretty much end up fractured into two groups here.
There are the people who simply refuse to acknowledge or deal with Bruce as an abuser. Comics with his more obviously heinous actions are ignored. Comics with more subtle abuse have the abuse blatantly glossed over for the sweet moments. Issues where he is a good parent are touted. This group makes headcanons and fic and art and discussion that simply rewrites Bruce’s abuse until it doesn’t exist, and treats him as if he is and always has been a good parent. Bruce being abusive is Bad, Bruce being a good parents is Good, and canon is optional.
And then there are the people who are all about acknowledging that Bruce is an abuser. Bruce being a canonical abuser is still bad, but Bruce being a canonical abuser and it never being addressed is far worse. So this group REFUSES to forget all those issues where Bruce hits his kids, and is far more interested in examining his emotional abuse than glossing over it. And this group makes headcanons and fic and art and discussion as well, but now versions that specifically call out Bruce’s abusive behavior. Sometimes that’s to force him to change, and sometimes it’s to get his kids to a better place, and sometimes it’s to deliver him karmatic punishment–and sometimes it doesn’t change things at all, but just finds the catharsis in acknowledging them.
And both of these things are mostly fine, and valid ways for transformative fandom to deal with something shitty in canon. And when it comes to fanworks, both of these motivations lead to stories that I personally can enjoy a great deal.
BUT.
I say mostly fine, because pulling seemingly sweet moments from canon out of their toxic context and holding them up as great parenting just makes it sound like you didn’t recognize or care about the surrounding abuse. And insisting that Bruce actually totally is a good parent most of the time does the same.
Good Dad Bruce is a headcanon that’s directly opposed to canon. And you can absolutely stick with it anyway, because that’s what transformative fandom does! But arguing that canon Bruce isn’t or couldn’t be abusive makes you sound, at best, like you have not read a lot of comics (which is hardly a sin, but you probably shouldn’t be pretending you have an informed opinion on them), but at worst like you are actively dismissing abuse. And arguing that the people who do want to address that abuse are themselves somehow awful, mean, abuse-lovers just…makes you an asshole.
That’s it; that’s the post.
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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One single republican decided to base his vote on a reasonable evaluation of available data and it quite possibly improved thousands of lives. I hope maybe in my lifetime I’ll see an America where that isn’t shocking for a politician to do, and maybe one in which people’s entire well being doesn’t come down to just one extra guy having a shred of decency.
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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Edgelord no more
Finally back on Tumblr after an extended hiatus that involved leaving an abusive situation, graduating my undergrad, finding out one of my main abusers has a degenerative condition, moving back to my mom’ house (after the abuser left), finding out one of my other abusers is back in prison after doing it (again-again), but this time he’s been deemed unreformable so he won’t be released (✨), working in what turned out to be a massively toxic work environment, *quitting* that work environment once I saved enough money and they instituted mandatory overtime at a minimum wage job where everyone in my position qualified for section 8 housing due to the below-livable income, and getting into a master’s program in the UK.
As part of my return, I’ve been combing through old notifs and my old reblogs, and y’all I was so edgy. I was SO edgy. I cringe. till, my moots were amazing and I returned to people having reached out, and I’m glad to be back
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jordanspiars ¡ 1 year ago
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I don't mean to be callous but when I talk about walkability/transit and someone says "what about people who live out in the country" I'm like yeah, what about them? What does that have to do with how people in cities get around?
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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All 👏 dogs 👏 are 👏 good 👏 dogs 
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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i don’t know how to love in moderation
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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psa to people who menstruate
- The reason you get extra hungry before and during your period is because your body is physically burning more calories, sometimes as many as 300 more per day for the duration of your period, with an elevated BMR (base metabolic rate) in the days before it starts. So no, you’re not being weird or gross or undisciplined if you want to eat a bunch of chocolate - your body is just burning the same amount of calories you’d expend in 25 minutes on a crosstrainer to shed your uterine lining. 
- This is especially important to remember if you’re already, for whatever reason, eating fewer calories per day than it takes to maintain your current weight, which is about 2000 for an adult, though it can be dangerous to have much less than 1300 per day. Think of it like this: if you’re eating 1600 calories a day out of a potential healthy 2000, and your body suddenly wants an extra 300, you’re not craving 1900, but 2300, which is the difference between wanting a chocolate bar and a slice of toast, and wanting an entire extra meal. So, I say again: DO NOT feel bad about wanting to eat more during your period. Your body is working hard, and needs fuel!
-  Paradoxically, despite the rate at which you’re burning calories, you’re also retaining water, which can make you both feel and weigh as heavier. Speaking personally, I’ve noticed my weight fluctuate by as much two kilos (4.5 pounds) before and after a period, rising before and during, then dropping sharply afterwards. So if you’re struggling with body image or weight issues, this is a suboptimal time at which to get on the scales: the result you’ll get will only reflect a temporary reality, not your actual progress, and is therefore unhelpful.
- If, for whatever reason, you’re self-conscious about easing your cramps with a hot water bottle where other people can see it, whether at home or work, consider using a plastic soft drink bottle filled with hot/boiling water. Even if you put it openly on your lap, instead of tucking it under a shirt or into a front hoodie pocket, it will just look like a regular bottle of water, and any relief is better than none!
- No, it’s not weird if you shit more during your period than usual, either. The hormones your body releases that make your uterus to contract and release sometimes end up in the bowel, particularly if you happen to produce a lot of them, which means that bowel contracts and releases, too.
- If anyone tries to make a dumbass sexist joke about your being more [insert stereotypically negative feminine quality here] while on your period, you can tell them that actually, menstruation raises testosterone levels, not oestrogen. (Telling them to go fuck themselves with an angry cactus can also be therapeutic.)
- The cramps and lower back pain often experienced during menstruation, when the uterus expels its contents and your hips shift slightly wider to accommodate it, are a microcosm of what happens during actual labour. So yeah: it can hurt!
- That being said, we’ve culturally accepted the idea of massive period pain as normative to such an extent that many people don’t realise their pain is a sign that something’s wrong. Despite how common they are, a lot of conditions like PCOS and endometriosis are poorly understood in terms of their etiology, which means it can be hard to get an accurate diagnosis. But if your periods regularly have you screaming, vomiting or totally incapacitated, get checked out: you shouldn’t have to just shut up and endure because it’s ‘meant’ to feel like that. It’s not, and there are ways to manage it.
- As well as being a form of birth control, you can take the pill to control or stop your period. When used to prevent menstruation, the pill tricks the body into thinking you’re already pregnant, which stalls your cycle (and stops you from actually getting pregnant). Though some people worry that it’s unnatural not to menstruate for long periods of time, or for your body to ‘feel’ pregnant for so long, it’s also important to remember that, after an actual pregnancy, especially if you breastfeed, your period won’t resume right away. This is called  lactational amenorrhea, which can work as a form (though not, I hasten to add, a 100% reliable form) of natural birth control. Basically, it means your body is focussed on producing milk for an existing child, such that you can’t easily conceive another one until the first child is weaned. While this varies from person to person, the important thing to remember is that there’s ample biological precedent for stopping menstruation for long periods of time whether you’re pregnant or not, and that choosing to do so via the pill doesn’t make you unnatural, nor does it cause your body to do something it otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t. 
In conclusion: periods suck, but knowing how and why they work and how best to manage them can make them suck slightly less. So go ye forth, and be educated!
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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okay but this is me
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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His name is Steven Udotong.
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jordanspiars ¡ 6 years ago
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