#Anything beyond that is for a future post

[captain-bubble-wrap]

HELP ME PLEASE

Your quinn is literally my favorite!!!!!!!!!!! Can you write him and reader!girlfriend on the phone after the stars game? Your sweet/sad quinn is the best!!!!!!!!!

Oh, you're WAY TO KIND TO ME...! 🥹🥹 Let's see what I can do!

All you had texted was, "I love you."

Incoming Call: Quinny

Quinn's broken voice in that post-game interview had killed you. The way he had looked down before answering about how he was feeling, his thoughts on Millsy's trade, and how he was handling the noise of the dressing room as the team's captain -- it was obvious how much it all was affecting him. Unfortunately, you were twenty-two-hundred miles away, and you felt powerless to help him in any form.

"Hey, baby," you said upon answering the call.

Quinn's voice was low, and it was obvious he was beyond exhausted, body and mind, "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course." Your stomach tightened like you were about to receive some bad news. You hadn't heard him sound this way before and given how the day had gone, you knew it wasn't going to be a butterfly-inducing conversation.

"Let me get somewhere a little quieter. I need to hear your voice."

To you, he sounded desperate -- like he was at his breaking point. While you waited for him to walk to wherever he needed to be, you couldn't help but worry about him -- about what had caused him pain during the game, how losing JT and the others was weighing on him, and the stress of the upcoming tournament that was just four games away. You couldn't get the sad look of his face out of your mind. When was the last time he had actually had a good day, that he was happy without nagging stresses?

"Hey Mike, I'm gonna step out for a few minutes," Quinn said, obviously not talking to you. You couldn't hear the other man's reply but it must have been favourable as Quinn would finally start his conversation with you just a few seconds afterwards.

He sighed heavily, "I wish you were here. I-- I feel like everything is out of control and I don't know what to do."

The sound of wind was intertwined with his words. You wondered if he had stepped outside the arena to talk to you, somewhere to speak without listening ears.

"I wish I was there, too," you confessed, a pain growing in your heart. "You're trying to carry too much, baby."

"I have no choice, though."

You knew where he was coming from. The title of Captain meant you wore several hats, and sometimes more than one at a time. You knew he had all of them on at once. This season hadn't been easy, and something had you believing it wasn't going to get any better.

"I know," you mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he breathed out, feeling guilty for calling you when he was feeling like he was. "I'm sorry to put this on you. I just don't know what to do. Everyone is looking to me for answers and insight, but I don't have any. I don't know how to fix the team, I'm carrying as much as I can every night. I'm asked about what's going on behind closed doors and the temperature of the room and I'm over it. It's like the media just wants to keep stirring the pot instead of letting us just work it out. Now I'm being asked about if the team rebuilds what that means for my future in Vancouver. I-- I just-- I can't-- handle everything right now." Your heart was breaking hearing him on the brink of tears. His voice was cracking and shaky. "I need you."

"I wish I was there, sweetheart. I'd do anything I could to help you."

"I love you," his voice at a whisper.

"I love you, too, Quinn."

The first whimper made you cover your mouth to keep yourself from doing the same. Quinn rarely cried, at least not when you were around. To hear him finally drop that ultra-reserved demeanour of his was crushing.

"Oh honey, you'll be okay," you tried to reassure him, but they were words without certainty, you knew that. "You're doing the best you can, and you need to realise that you need to put yourself first sometimes. You're pushing yourself too much. It's not on you to solely fix the team, Quinn, though I know you're trying. I've never seen you this way before, and I'm scared it's going to break you."

He was silent on the other end, aside from his muffled cries. You didn't need him to say anything, though hearing his voice would have made you feel better, which made you remember what he had said to you earlier: "I need to hear your voice."

Maybe he just needed you to talk to him.

"One day at a time, baby, please. Be happy where you are, and what you have. You're doing all you can, and I need you to know that it's okay to struggle, but it's also okay to be content with how things are. You know there are things out of your control, and you just have to let them work themselves out sometimes. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to put bandaids on everything. I don't want to lose you down that rabbit hole." You'd pause before adding one more thing, "I just want you to be okay."

Quietly you'd sit there and wait for a sign from him, or whatever it might be. A long moment of silence would follow your words, making you pull the phone away from your ear to make sure the call hadn't dropped.

"I miss you," he choked out, breaking the painful silence between the two of you.

"I miss you more, Quinn. I wish you were here."

"Me, too," he said, sharply inhaling, like he was trying to push those emotions back down and get over it. "Thank you for picking up everything -- the call, the pieces...me. I'd be so lost without you."

You'd shake your head, "You never have to thank me, baby. I just want to help you."

"I appreciate that," he sniffled. "I just wish I knew where to start."

"With yourself, Quinn," you said bluntly. "How are you feeling? I saw you take the stick to the head early."

It took him a few seconds to respond but you didn't mind, "I don't know, honestly. Between my hand and whatever is wrong with my leg, everything hurts. I'm tired. I'm drained."

Everything he said carried so much weight and his emotions were so painfully honestly.

That was just Quinn.

He always spoke from his heart; wearing his heart on his sleeve every waking moment of his life. However this had a different air about it -- a nakedness. He was free to share his deepest fears with you, those raw feelings were bleeding from him with no hindrance. You appreciated that he felt so comfortable to open up like he was, and the fact that he was away from you, as well. Quinn didn't give the hint that he shared stuff like this with the guys on the team -- not like he did with you. You were different. He loved you -- you occupied a special piece of his heart like no on else did. That meant something special to him.

"You'll be home soon, baby. Just a little longer, okay?"

Through Quinn's end of line, someone was calling out to him, "C'mon Quinn-- the boy's are packing up, let's go."

You frowned hearing the empty orders, but you knew Quinn would have to end the call with you and head to the airport. There was always a sense of urgency after their games, especially the away ones.

"Yeah-- I'll be right there," he muttered, his voice dropping off at the end while he pretended to have himself together. "I'll call you when we get back to Vancouver."

"Be careful."

"I will," he paused. "Thanks, babe. For all that you do for me."

"Happy to help, Quinny. I love you."

For the first time, you heard his little giggle, "I love you, too."

[bonefall]

the ShadowClan talk made me look through Brokenstar's BB Tags, and. a) is Lizardstripe still related to Finchflight, if you are keeping Finch-Dawn as a couple (with Dawncloud's age redux)? b) i keep seeing stuff about Snowtuft and killing kits, but i cant find anything actually detailing on that on the blog, and one of the older posts also mentions that Blizzardwing is either his son/grandson AND that Lizardstripe's mother was the kit he couldn't kill. what is all that about, im dying to know.

This is info that's scattered across a bunch of different posts, plus more deets and changes I haven't had a chance to dive into. Snowtuft committed an atrocity which would torment his victims and descendants for generations, for both its legacy and its trauma.

SO I wanna put as much of it as possible into one place for now, so you don't have to go guessing based on older posts. Especially since some of those posts are long outdated, but I haven't contradicted them yet.

To start the story of the two families, it begins with Snowtuft and the bloody end of the Crusade Era.

CONTENT WARNING; this is one of BB's darkest tales. It involves depictions of xenophobic violence, child murder, war crime, PTSD, abuse, and kidnapping. BB!Snowtuft's a bad kitty!

SEE: Kitten Stealing

(Also: After writing it out, I kinda realized this would be great as a BB entry on its own. I should come back and clean this up someday.)

PART 1: THE LAST CRUSADE

Cedarstar inherited the Crusades from Houndstar, continuing them more out of respect for her legacy than true zealotry.

He had actually been chosen as a deputy because he would run the Clan while she was off gallavanting.

He wasn't a pushover or anything, just prefered logistics. Him and Pinestar were tragically ahead of their time.

...but like other cats of his time, he was from a culture that didn't extend personhood beyond the Clans. So, he continued the Crusades.

Even though they weren't getting easier.

Crystal of Chelford had already used a new tool to carve a red future for the cats of the town...

and what were once defenseless little targets began to unite into organized, armed response teams.

Non-BloodClan "zones" got rarer and rarer.

The territory and underlings of an influential cat named Jay were among the last holdouts, so it's where most of ShadowClan's raids were launched.

And on one of these raids... it happened fast.

Snowtuft turned an alley and was ruthlessly attacked. He defended himself.

In the confusion, another assailant ran towards him. He acted swiftly.

It was reflex! Instinct! He couldn't tell what was coming at him. It was a split second decision.

He couldn't undo what had happened. The kitten was dead, next to its mother.

And the others were screaming, crying, terrified.

Snowtuft doesn't remember what he did next. He doesn't want to.

But Puffballburr does.

She used to see it every night.

She remembers her name, too-- Pixie. And her mom. And her littermates.

And the look that washed over his eyes when he realized the ragged flesh at his feet was a kitten.

Raw shock, electrifying shame, the dawning horror of knowing you've definitely done something that you're going to get punished for.

And when his white, blood-splattered face turned slowly towards her and her wailing siblings, she recognized that emotion too.

It's a very childlike response, really.

He needed to cover up his accident.

And he almost did, too. It was dumb luck that stopped him as he grabbed her tail and dragged her out from her hiding place. One of his clanmates heard the awful racket, and Pixie had survived just long enough.

PART 2: ONE OF US

They took her away, just like any other "honor kitten," but the Clan cats believed this was different somehow.

Something about the naked horror of what Snowtuft did, maybe. Impossible to ignore.

But it's not like he faced any real justice for it, not that Puffballkit could remember seeing. So clearly it wasn't very different at all.

His mate left him, and the older warriors regarded him with a distant sort of "shame." He was ostracized from many circles.

But Puff's siblings had not been "clan cats" so the Warrior Code did not apply to them. He faced social dishonor, not legal.

Ever-merciful Cedarstar did not want to "ruin" more lives.

"Not when the kit is far too young to even remember what happened," he said. But she did remember.

And her name. Her mom. Her littermates. That face.

She just knew, growing up, that she couldn't know about it.

Because Snowtuft was always right there, just around the curve of the den, just behind the cover of the rose bush thorns, listening.

They're ALL Snowtuft.

To admit she remembers it is to admit she isn't one of them. And if you're not one of them, the law does not apply to you.

As a kid, she couldn't articulate it. But she understood it.

Deep down to her brittle, kittypet bones. Her filthy, stillwater blood.

The ungrateful heart that beat in her chest.

Fear expressed as a constant, calm obedience of authority. A permanent dread, as if living in a pack as a sheep in wolf's clothing

So she was quiet, notoriously so.

Whoever her foster was, Puff was like a little white shadow. It's where the warrior name came from, eventually-- a puffball clinging to someone's fur. (after writing this though, half of me wants to start calling her Lambfur or Lambfrost.)

ShadowClan plunged into the Campaign Era with Heatherstar's invasion of the Mothermouth Moorland, and the massacre of some kittypet family became awkward history. Those old enough to remember still kept a distance from Snowtuft... but war took its toll.

War means death and those older members of the Clan are not replaceable.

Younger cats weren't there to see the horror of what Snowtuft had done... and time would make him bolder.

Finding growing sympathy in his apprentices, spurred on by the hardening of the culture in tandem with the official birth of Thistle Law, Snowtuft started to change history.

The official Educator of ShadowClan (still unsure who this was) had one story, and Snowtuft had one too.

"Details" were quietly changed in his. They weren't "kits" but "young cats." They charged out to aid their mother. Then maybe she wasn't their mother. Who knows.

Pullball's name was left out of these stories, on both sides. No need for the kittens to know that she wasn't one of us.

And if she was? That's a good thing for her. Living the life of a Clan cat.

He wouldn't share if "he wasn't asked," but all of his actions, his language, was a silent plea to be asked.

He wanted to forget the whole thing, because of his nightmares, his constant shame and punishment, how hard the whole ordeal made his life-- but he couldn't so it was constantly coming out of his mouth.

There was a deep resentment on his end, towards Puffballburr. How she was part of the Clan now, always reminding him. Like it was her fault.

In the end, Snowtuft didn't blame himself. He blamed everything else. The guilt was killing him a little bit every day...

But not as much as that WindClan cat's claws did. Those killed him a lot in one day!

But Snowtuft's death didn't bring Puffballburr any peace. She just felt... annoyed. Which was strange to her-- she should feel relief, but, she didn't. She was just thinking about how the next battle with WindClan would be harder without an extra set of claws.

PART 3: GOING HOME

Puffballfur is the queen of low empathy, and her emotions are... hard to predict.

Not in a chaotic sort of way, but in a "Huh, interesting, I didn't think that of all things would get me going" sort of way.

She both lives in constant "fear" but also a persistent banality. It's kind of like being in a cage with a chained tiger, but you've marked the exact spot on the floor where the tiger's chain ends.

Imagine getting nightmares that stop you from sleeping, but you know that they aren't going to come true. So you lay there with a throbbing heart, mostly feeling annoyed that you're going to be tired in the morning.

That's her life.

Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, she'd roll on her back in the nest and critique the assassination attempt in her mind.

Did he think his dumb plan through? Or did he just react without thinking? It was going to be obvious he killed a bunch of kids, whether she survived or not.

Or maybe he would have just said that the rogue killed her own kits to prevent them from becoming Clan cats. They'd probably believe that.

Either way it was sloppy. Could have had more kits if he didn't kill her sibs.

She had connections within the Clan. A foster, hunting buddies, apprentice. She was kind to them, especially when they were useful. But...

It feels like she's not like them. Like they have variables to their behavior that she doesn't. Drives and desires that are pointless, sometimes even frustrating.

Like the concept of "honor." Ridiculous. Every single person who talks about it is hypocritical about it in some way, and it causes unnecessary fights in the camp and on the border because of ridiculous ego.

She just performs it because the other cats value it-- and when people like you, you get what you want.

I'm not sure who her mate was, or if it was even just one. In any case, when she found herself pregnant, she declared Queen's Rights. I feel like she might have had a fling with someone, but got annoyed by their clingy behavior.

When her daughters were born, Bracketkit and Lizardkit, she felt pride.

Because... they didn't belong to someone else. They weren't even really ShadowClan's. They were hers.

For the first time since her mother and littermates had been taken away from her, she felt like she was looking at family. People who would always be with her.

But that didn't last...

...because a chance encounter only a few moons later reconnected her with someone who remembered her.

Not a littermate, but an older sister. Marmalade. She couldn't believe that Pixie was alive.

This is a WIP zone because I'm not sure, yet, if I'm keeping Hal's attack on ShadowClan. In any case, they continued to reconnect for moons.

The fact that she was remembered, that she could talk openly about what happened, and that Marmalade wanted her and her kittens to come home made Puffballburr's stomach flutter with excitement. She felt valuable.

And with the war getting worse and worse, this was absolutely the best choice for her kittens as well. They would be safer with BloodClan than they would with ShadowClan.

No longer would she be Puffballburr. Her name was Pixie.

ENTER: LIZARDSTRIPE

Puffballburr wasn't a bad mother, but it would feel a lot better to be Lizardstripe if she could have the simplicity to just say she was.

Her earliest memories of her mom and her sibling were outside of the camp on a cool, clear spring night, laying in soft marshgrass. Puff was laying on her back with her hind legs bowed out, a kit tucked under each paw, pressed to her fluffy, warm chest. Her face was turned upward, quietly, at the moon, as her daughters slept peacefully.

She's not sure how long after she'd opened her eyes that this memory took place, but Lizardkit looked up towards the bright, starry sky... and she remembered that the light hurt.

Her needs were always taken care of, but Puffballburr hated explaining things.

You learned quick to treat your questions like a valuable resource, and to listen carefully.

Lizardkit was sharp, much sharper than her sister. She caught onto the way that her mother viewed relationships in a very transactional sort of way-- and stayed aware of her balance.

And had to consider the cost of doing the things her mother was fond of, versus what the other kittens and queens in the nursery expected of her.

What Puffball didn't realize when her children were born was that they were family, but they were also ShadowClan. Even if this was not something she had ever felt a connection to.

Deep down, it didn't truly click with her that her children were not extensions of herself.

And when Lizardkit was a child, learning history from the Educator and getting involved in more of the Clan's goings-on, Puffballburr spent less and less time with her. Because she was reconnecting with Marmalade.

When Bracket and Lizard had their apprentice ceremony, Puffballburr was not there.

Lizardpaw's mentor was the infamously powerful, chaotic fighter, Finchflight. Bracketpaw was assigned to Brackenfoot. (There is an earlier post suggesting that Lizi and Finf were going to be related. I decided to make them mentor/apprentice instead.)

Finchflight immediately began to stress the importance of loyalty. Being one of the younger cats who had sympathized with Snowtuft and knowing the secret behind Puffballburr's beginnings, he nurtured a pain within Lizardstripe. Encouraged her to let the distance between her and her family grow.

Eventually, Puffball told her children that they were going to leave ShadowClan. They had family in the town, would be safe there, could start a brand new life together.

And Lizardpaw was shocked.

It was like everything Finchflight had said was true.

And they were going to leave her.

She reacted violently to the suggestion, attacking her mother. Told them that she was going to expose them, lead a patrol right back to their new hiding place, bring them "back home."

In defense of Puffballburr, Bracketpaw brawled with her sister. They fought viciously, until their mother separated them with a desperate, devastating whack to Lizardpaw's head.

Laying dazed on the ground, she heard an apology before passing out.

When she woke up, she was safely protected within a blackthorn bush-- with a nick on the outside of her ear.

She stayed out there for hours, not knowing what to do, where her family had gone, or what she was going to say when she got home.

But, looking at her reflection in a puddle of water, she became so angry at the idea of this being her first scar that she ripped the other ear, on the opposite side.

When the search party found her, they asked what had happened to her. If she had seen her mother or her sister, or if something had gone wrong.

"Nah. Took a nap to get away from them. Ripped my ears on the thornbush."

Later, when she would be interrogated or questioned by people she didn't want to lie to, she would tell a half-truth;

"I did it to myself. Liked how it looked. Last I saw of Puffballburr and Bracketpaw, they were upset I'd done it and left, so I took a nap."

She didn't mind that her Clanmates thought this was weird. She didn't care about whispers that it was all done for attention, or that it was dishonorable to do such a thing and they probably met a predator after storming off, and she didn't even mind the gossip guessing at the "real" reason behind her ripped ears.

The only people who ever got the whole truth were the Forget-Me-Nots. After their disappearance, Lizardstripe didn't talk about her family for years, insisting upon having no further details. Even if it meant that mystery and suspicion would hang around her like a cloud.

BLIZZARDWING: KIN OF SNOWTUFT

Snowtuft's daughter was named Lilyfur. She was a kit when her father slaughtered Pixie's family.

When her mother left her father, she also distanced herself from him. This was something Snowtuft was outraged and saddened by.

But Lilyfur's mother couldn't stand the idea of a kitten-killer trying to stay close to her daughter. How could he look at little babies, the same age as his own child, and kill them?

Lilykit grew up very conflicted. She remembered how much she loved her dad, understood that he was a kitten murderer, but he continued to be so kind to her into adulthood.

It was hard to think of him as someone who could do something so horrible.

Earlier draft had Lilyfur die and her kittens were raised by their kin, Snowtuft, but I'm currently leaning towards Lilyfur being alive but just letting him be an active part of their lives-- in spite of her discomfort.

Because the more time he spent in her life, paradoxically, the more obsessed he became with all the "time he lost out on."

Which ended up including entertaining a lot of conversations about how he'd never done anything wrong, ever, and everyone was mean to him.

Lilyfur: "ok maybe he's not evil but my dad is really annoying <:/ but he's really lonely. He needs me. and i cant take him away from his grandkits"

From this, what Blizzardwing absorbed was the idea that love and forgiveness was always tolerating your family no matter what. This would express itself in his toxic relationship with Hollyflower.

But Blizzardwing now has a sibling. I haven't settled on a name yet-- but I'm playing with him either being Angelshade or Silkflower.

I really like the name "Angelshade" as a reference to the notoriously deadly white mushroom, the Destroying Angel. But also. someone in the audience asked if I could give the prefix "angel" to a cat because it's their name, and I feel a little bad about giving it to a character who is going to be one of the nastiest little background characters in all of BB lmaooooo

i'm so sorry angel (positive), is it okay if there's an angel (derogatory)

ANYWAY, Untitled Blizzardwing Sibling grew up adoring his grandpaw.

Radicalization can be a slow creep. He loved peepaw, so if he was asked when he was young, he would happily repeat the adjusted version of history he was taught.

And then when Snowtuft died, he wanted to remember him fondly. The story slowly changed, becoming more "accurate," just getting more comfortable with the idea of dehumanizing outsiders.

So what, if he killed some kittypet? And if some kits had already been indoctrinated into their kittypet life? It was still a gain for ShadowClan, in the end.

One summer day, without warning, he came home with two little kittens. One was white, one was brown, both had the pinkish tinge of poorly cleaned blood.

He grinned playfully at Brokenstar, and claimed Queen's Rights in a singsong tone.

Because of that rite, no one could ask where he'd gotten those kittens from. But everyone knew he'd done something grim.

Those kits, Whitewater and Brownstone, grew up under the crescendo of Brokenstar's reign, both taking part in the WindClan Massacre.

Whitewater's bloody story includes joining Mudclaw's Rebellion, giving birth to three kits, a souring relationship with her son, condemnation to the Dark Forest, ends in the Battle of the True Eclipse after killing her grandson.

Brownstone's tale includes a relationship with a WindClan cat during the bloodiest period in the history of their two Clans.

And their father's story ends in Chelford, after being exiled from ShadowClan by Nightstar. His canon counterpart is the Unnamed White Rogue from Rise of Scourge, who tries to order Scourge to be his personal servant.

(the other two cats are Braketail, the "Offbrand Brokenstar" pale tabby, and Pirateheart, the gray rogue with green eyes. Glitch Warriors for the pile!)

[forgive00]

EMERGENCY: help two young disabled trans youth escape an actively dangerous and abusive home

(more under the cut about why this is an urgent matter, if you have any more questions send me an ask or dm me please)

we need 5,000 to put down a deposit on an apartment, pay first months rent, utilities and bills, and buy furniture, groceries, and any appliances or random household things we may need like silverware dishes medicine etc. any extra money will be put towards more household expenses and rent. any money beyond that will go towards getting us both into therapy and regular doctors appointments which we both very much need.

0/5,000 $ GOAL, ANYTHING AT ALL HELPS (EVEN IF YOU JUST SHARE!)

please read our story below and share this post to anyone you know who can support us or just reblog. i cannot stress enough this is extremely urgent, we are in a very hostile and unsafe environment and i am very afraid for our futures and safety if we are living here for any longer.

hi, this is embarrassing and humiliating, but i am in an emergency situation and desperately need to escape my abusers and to live somewhere that is safe for me. it has always been dangerous here but the situation has vastly escalated. my best friend and life partner, august, has been living with me and my biological parents since november after becoming homeless. i have lived with my parents my entire life not by choice, since i have turned 18 i have been trying constantly to escape and move out and they have deliberately sabotaged me every single time, even going so far as to say they would physically force me inside the house and barricade the door to stop me if they knew i was trying to leave them. my living situation is really, really fucking bad. my house is and has been incredibly dirty my entire life and i am expected to do every single chore in the house no matter what despite the fact i am very physically disabled and work a full time job, i am not allowed to eat or have access to food or water or the kitchen after around 10 pm, a lot of the time i have to eat in secret because i get mocked and made fun of for eating or "gaining weight" (i have had a lifelong eating disorder my family actively tries to trigger and encourage and they have made it very clear they do not like me recovering or seeking therapy for it). my father in particular is very aggressive and has physically abused me countless times and i live in terror every single day that it will happen again. every single day i am emotionally abused, manipulated, and gaslit by my parents. and this is just whats happening to me, august has had his access to a house and place to sleep threatened repeatedly, my parents have even gone so far as to try and gaslight us both into thinking he stole from them so they could have a reason to kick him out, even though they personally invited him to live with us and are aware he would be homeless if he wasnt here.

ontop of all of this, my family is aggressively and very openly transphobic and homophobic, and i genuinely fear for our lives staying in this house any longer as we are both on hrt and actively transitioning. i cut contact with my abusive grandmother two years ago, and my mother has recently started talking to her and telling her extremely personal information behind my back about my transition, my rape, my disability diagnosis, virtually anything they can both use against me they are using against me.

we cannot keep living here. i need to get away from them as fast as possible. we are moving to another town to cut contact with both my biological family and augusts.

[multiversediiva]

| "What do you mean I don't have to do anything to shift consciousness?" ...Well! Kinda... sorta... loud incorrect buzzer. - A common mistake I've been observing throughout the community. BUT HEAR ME OUT!!!

-✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--

-✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--

My objective in this post is to explain the difference between not doing anything physically and not doing anything mentally/consciously, as there is a major, clear difference.

When people state that you are not required to do anything in order to experience your desired reality, they are ONE HUNDRED AND TEN percent right. It should be taken as you are not required to do anything PHYSICALLY in order to experience your desires. You are truely beyond your senses, so 'attempting' to make something happen in your outer world by force is a struggle in vain. The senses and the body you are occupying in this state, out of infinite states, is nothing but another vessel in another universe you are aware of. It is completely irrelevant to reality shifting. The body you occupy does not shift. Your awareness does.

BUT. Just because nothing physically needs to be done, this does not mean that nothing mentally needs to be done. The imagination is the most vital element when it comes to reality shifting. It's almost like it's the whole point, isn't it? You experience something in imagination right now, and persist in it. It will harden into fact. Neville emphasises that 'As "the worlds were framed by the Word of God", so we as "imitators of God as dear children" create the conditions and circumstances of our lives by our all-powerful human inner words. Without practice, the most profound knowledge of the game would produce no desired results.'"A little practice will convince us that we can, by controlling our imagination, reshape our future in harmony with our desire." If you are not a fan of visualisation, watch your inner dialogue. As everything in the outer world is a reflection of your inner conversations. As within, so without. The reality you are in is an expression of your thoughts. Just by spending a few minutes reflecting on your inner dialogue and imagination, you can effortlessly (KEYWORD!!!! KEYWORD!!!! EFFORTLESSLY!!!!) shape your world in your harmony.

Of course, as Goddard says... "All of us can realize our objectives by the wise use of mind and speech. Most of us are totally unaware of the mental activity which goes on within us. But to play the game of life successfully, we must become aware of our every mental activity, for this activity, in the form of inner conversations, is the cause of the outer phenomena of our life." In order for the outer world to change, the inner state must change first. I made the mistake of ignoring my imagination and expected for the outer world to change first. Guess what happened? FIVE YEARS WENT DOWN THE DRAIN. I hope no one makes the same mistake as me. FIVE YEARS. GONE (but like time isn't real so who cares ah😝).

Do not get comfortable with the assumption that the outer world will change first. Imagination must be used and inner dialogue must be observed. THIS is what it means when people say you do are not obligated to do anything physically, of course you can't. Change must happen within. So when you kick back, relax, comfortable in your warm blankets... dive into the wonders of your imagination and experience your desired reality. Be in it. Occupy that state of fulfilment. Change your inner world, and you will be surprised at the results. Yap session over.

-✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--✧--

[sophieinwonderland]

Hello Sophie. I am reaching out on behalf of Sandstorm to request you take down the post accusing her of running system-facts. This is blatantly false and we would very much appreciate to end this without any further altercations.

The blog “system-facts” has never been on our blog list. The only blogs we have ever had are @driaderg, @princess-auklet, @first-world-system-problems, @sandstorms-syscourse, and @queen-coral.

I sincerely do not wish for any further issues. I just wish for you to delete the post, and post an apology.

Thank you, Princess Auklet.

...

I started this?

Respectfully, I didn't know sandstorms-syscourse existed until they sent me hate asks accusing me out of nowhere of being transphobic and anti-endo two weeks ago. Had they not sent those asks, which echoed things system-facts and associated blogs have accused me of in the past, I would never have suspected them.

Your system should really not come after me if you don't want to be involved in drama.

I'm not saying this is some type of revenge thing over that ask either. It's not. It's just that I find it rich that when your system comes after me unprovoked with ridiculous accusations and character attacks, that's fine by you. But people making allegations about your system is a terrible libel that you need to put a stop to and demand an apology for.

You want me to say I'm wrong for laying out all the connections I've seen between these. But I can't do that. Because I'm not willing to lie.

Beyond the similarities I've laid out between system-facts and Sandstorm, there are also those from Pearlite's post since they suspected your system was behind this back in December.

Some of those, I admit, might be a bit tenuous in isolation. Most of these don't feel like smoking guns on there own. Just a bunch of points that add up when taken together.

Just because your system and those other blogs had similar interests or wrote "transID" the same way or had headmates with similar names might not mean anything alone. And while you and system-facts both may have dismissed willogenic systems for seeing systems as having "funny little people in your head," this is at least a pretty common-ish phrase.

But you know something that did strike out at me over everything else in that list? The "nothing is impossible with systems" line from both Auklet and Translucent.

Seen below from the Pearlite post.

It's just a very specific string of words so rarely used that Google can't find any trace of it on the net.

And searching for that phrase on Tumblr shows one result. Auklet's. (Admittedly, Tumblr's search engine is trash.)

Could translucent-system still be someone who saw those words on Auklet's blog and copied them for some reason? I mean... I guess it's possible. But to what end? Was it just subconscious? Or was translucent such a mastermind that they copied Auklet's wording knowing that it would eventually lead to your system being blamed in the future after Sandstorms makes a series of hate asks to people in the community repeating the exact same exact rhetoric as Translucent and system-facts?

Even if your system wasn't running system-facts, can you at least see why I find it very suspicious to see the same exact string of words from these two different accounts? And literally nowhere else on the internet.

Especially with all the other many similarities adding up so incredibly neatly.

Before seeing Pearlite's posts, I had made a post briefly apologizing for the mistake, and was going to accept that I might be wrong.

After reading it though, I'm about... 92% sure your system is system-facts and translucent. Not 100%. But pretty high. And that leaves me here...

You want me to say I'm wrong, but since I do believe I'm most likely correct, so saying I think I'm wrong about it would be a lie.

You want me to apologize, but my sympathy after the hate asks accusing me of transphobia is zero at the moment. And unlike some people, I'm not interested in giving a fake apology meant only to appease others.

I can't give you these things that you want.

But can I give you advice instead?

Ride the wave for once!

If I am right about who you are, your entire shtick up until this point has been saying horrible things, getting blowback for the horrible things you've said, and then running away from them, desperately trying to make them go away.

Auklet makes an anti-willogenic post on their blog in November, gets pushback, immediately "apologizes" to make the drama go away.

System-facts makes anti-willogenic posts a couple weeks later, gets pushback, fakes a fight with their host and shuts down the blog.

System-facts reopens the blog, makes more anti-willogenic posts, gets more pushback, fakes their death.

Translucent reveals themselves to have been a fake willogenic system the entire time, gets pushback, deletes their blog.

You can see the pattern, can't you?

Provocation > Reaction > Flight Response

If I'm right about who you are, it looks like you've been in this pattern for a while. Stuck in a loop repeating the same cycle over and over again.

So let me just say as someone who has been targeted by more hate campaigns than I could count, however bad the hate might seem at the moment, it is just words and it will be over in a week. Syscoursers have short memories. You can block any hate anons you get (and please people, don't send them hate), the Sun will rise each morning, and the topic is going to change away from whatever you said or did and move on to something else.

It's not as scary as it seems.

I'm not going to make a retraction or say I believe I was wrong when I don't. But it doesn't matter because this will pass anyway. You don't need me to make this go away for you.

Time will do that on its own.

[hyperpotamianarch]

1 is for one G-d in the heavens and the earth.

2 is for the Tablets of Covenant. Also portions of the Torah in a Mezuzah. Also Torahs - one Written, one Oral. Also for the Cheruvim on the Arc of Covenant. Also for the minimal amount of witnesses needed for most legal things.

3 is for the Patriarchs. Also for the subtribes of Levi. Also for the children of Noaḥ. Also for the named children of Adam HaRishon. Also for Pilgrimage holidays. Also, the amount of people required for a Zimun. Also for the minimal requirement for a Beit Din.

4 is for the Matriarchs. Also cardinal directions. Also beasts Daniel saw, which represent four empires. Also glasses to drink in Pesaḥ, and glasses G-d will make all the people's of the Earth drink, and verbs of salvation used by G-d when talking to Moshe. Also portions of the Torah put in the Teffilin. Also types of plants shaken in Sukkot. Also corners a cloth needs to have to require a Tzitzit.

5 is for the books in the Torah. Also actual amount of verbs of salvation. Also fingers in a hand, which is relevant for the ratio of plagues between Egypt and Yam Suf, the Red Sea. Also for kinds of grain for Matzah and Chametz, HaMotzi and Mezonot and Challah (not the type of bread).

6 is for the orders of the Mishna. Also for the cardinal directions plus up and down. Also for the day the Torah was given.

7 is for the days G-d took to create the world. Also for Shabbat every seven days. Also for Shavu`ot after seven Shabatot. Also for years until the Shəmita. Also for Shəmitot until the Yovel. Also for the length of Pesaḥ. Also for the branches in the Menorah of Beit HaMikdash. Also for types of fruit and grain that Eretz Israel is known for. Also for the month that has 4 different holidays in it. Also for Tractates in the Orders of Nashim and Nezikin (anyone who tells you otherwise thinks that Nezikin is three Masechtot, and that Sanhedrin is two. You should still listen to them, though). Also for the candles in the Temple's Menorah. Also for Shiv‘a and for the days of celebration after a wedding. Also for the number of blessings in a wedding.

8 is for the days until a baby should be circumcised. Also for the days until a lamb can be sacrificed. Also for the days of dedicating the Mishcan. Also for the days of Sukkot and Ḥannukah. Also strings in the Tzitzit. Also books in the Prophets. Also for amounts of repeating Aleph-Beits in Tehillim 118. Also for the day of Shemini `Atzeret.

9 for the maximum amount of days Leḥem HaPanim had to stay fresh. Also months of pregnancy. Also for the day before Yom Kippur, during which Chazal say we are required to eat.

10 for G-d's commandments on Mount Sinai. Also for the Speeches of creation. Also for things created Bein HaShmashot. Also for generations between Adam and Noaḥ. Also for generations between Noaḥ and Avraham. Also for the Lost Tribes. Also for the day in the month Yom Kippur occurs at. Also for the amount of people required for a Minyan and to say "E-loheinu" in the Zimun.

11 for the stars Yosef saw in his dream. Also for books in the Cetuvim. Also for tractates in the Orders of Zera`im and Kodashim

12 for the children of Israel. Also for the tribes. Also for the small prophets. Also for the amount of judges in the Judges era (Avimelech crowned himself king, murdered his kin, is generally a jerk and shouldn't be counted. Yiftakh passes, barely, for actually saving the Israelites from the `Amonites). Also the age a girl is considered obligated to the Mitzvot. Also for tractates in the Orders of Mo`ed and Taharot. Also for the amount of Leḥem HaPanim loaves.

13 for the Qualities of Mercy. Also the age a boy is considered obligated to the Mitzvot. Also for Rambam's Principles of Faith.

14 for books in Rambam's Mishne Torah. Also for the day in the month Pesaḥ occurs at, as opposed to Ḥag HaMatzot.

15 for the first day of Ḥag HaMatzot and Sukkot, for Tu BiShvat and Tu B(e)'Av, for Purim D(e)Mukafin,

[keejot-arts]

2014 -> 2024 redraw

[serpentface]

Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

[miiiwu]

.

[supersymmetries]

i've finally reached the part in the semester where we're covering the second law of thermodynamics. matt bellamy we're in it together now

[thebestusernamepossible]

Listen, I love the LGBTQ+ community as much as any other queer person. But we have got to stop ostracizing people in our community to fit in with cishetallo people.

Some of y’all really do go ‘these are the acceptable boxes for queer people and their definitions, anyone outside of these is actually not queer and making us look bad’ and act like that’s ok. Now that being queer is generally acceptable in online/progressive areas (as long as you are one of the ‘well known’ orientations), a big part of the community has started regulating what’s ‘acceptable’ of a queer person and how we should fit into society.

I’ll see people hating on trans people who don’t fit into the ‘normal’ expectation of ‘Trans girl, Trans boy, or Non-binary’ or use Neo pronouns because that’s how they feel the most comfortable. I’ll see people hating on queer people who don’t like labels ( or try to assign people one even if they don’t want it). Or people who use a label in a way they don’t like (bi people who mostly date the opposite sex, lesbians who use pronouns other than just she/her, gender non-conforming people who don’t identify as trans, obscure micro-labels, etc.)

And it’s so frustrating because we as LGBTQ+ are supposed to be better!!! We are supposed to empathize with the feeling of not fitting in with regular society and help others like us! But the community has become part of the oppressive ‘societal standard’ for some people.

Some people just can’t be put into a perfect little label box and a lot of y’all aren’t cool about that. And I can’t believe I have to tell my fellow queers this, but there is nothing wrong with denying societal standards in order to live in the way that is genuine to you and makes you happy. End of story. If you disagree with that, look inward at your internal biases and try and fix that. Get rid of the cop in your brain telling you that you have to police others self-expression.

[eastofedean]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[goldeneyedgirl]

Oh boy, this is probably so irrelevant to you, but I've read the little piece you made for Babyverse about Jasper having to leave Alice and their son to go hunt and I swear I wept, thinking that's exactly how my baby brother gets everytime I leave. Literally the cutest AU ever made!!! Also, I have a weak spot for Damage Alice. May I ask for some of any of these two masterpieces?

This is absolutely not irrelevant - I'm not around small children, so I am relying entirely luck and vague memories to make any depiction of Ollie convincing, and I am SO glad that I am on the right track!

You caught me in a weak moment, so have a little of both <3

babyverse.

It’s been six fucking weeks since he’s seen them, and he’s trying to convince himself that this is another false lead, another dead-end, even as he presses his foot further on the accelerator. 

He knows the old motel he’s going to - it’s been abandoned for decades, with a cracked sign caked in filth declaring it the Rose Spring. It’s a thrice condemned shit-hole, untouched because of alleged chemical leaks or something that the government don’t want to have to clean up to sell the land off. It’s irrelevant though; the Rose Spring, like all the other falling-down, forgotten motels across the country, is a regular haunt for vampires looking to avoid the sun, to meet other travellers, to pass messages back and forth. 

He pulls into the motel, barely shutting off the ignition as he gets out. The back is laden with supplies, and he pauses only long enough to grab the bag that Esme has labelled with a big red cross. 

The stairs are flimsy and buckle under his step - no place for a human. Half the balcony has collapsed, and at least two of the rooms have crumbled in on themselves - probably in the last storm. 

Room 37 is tucked in the corner, and he doesn’t bother to knock as he throws open the door. 

Ollie is sitting on the first rancid, rotting bed and his face lights up as he sees Jasper, his arms stretching out towards him. He’s wearing filthy, mismatched clothing that aren’t his, and is sucking on a pacifier again, and for some reason that’s more upsetting than anything else to Jasper - he was just beginning to give it up before everything happened. And now it’s back. 

Maria is seated on the bed with Ollie, looking equally as filthy and surprisingly solemn. 

“You made it faster than I anticipated,” she says, standing up and motioning to Ollie as the bed tilts slightly without her weight. “He’ll be hungry, but he’s unharmed.”

Ollie makes a whining noise as soon as he’s in Jasper’s arms; a reassuring weight, but Ollie is about to start crying. 

“Where’s Alice?” He demands, rubbing his son’s back and hoping they can get out of here, and back north tonight; somewhere they can clean up and talk and he can make sure that they’re okay. 

Maria looks grimmer and motions for him to follow her out the door and into the next room. 

Ollie gets agitated, straining towards Alice the second they set foot in the second room. 

The scent of blood saturates the air.

Alice is lying on the bed, unconscious. There’s an angry wound on her head, and bother her arms. Some rough bandages have been wrapped around her leg, and it’s obvious that someone - perhaps Maria - tried to clean her up. 

“Alice?” His alarm is evident in his voice, and he almost hands Ollie off to Maria to go to her side before his brain clicks back into place. “Alice, can you hear me?”

Ollie’s reaching more and his whimpers are turning to wails as Alice doesn’t flinch.

“For god’s sake, give me the child, and deal with your mate,” Maria says, almost crossing. “I didn’t eat him before, I’m not going to eat him now.”

damaged alice.

The race to the ballet studio is the longest journey of his life.

Alice can’t defend herself. She’s never fought in her life. When Maria came to Calgary, Alice had been carefully protected by Esme and Emmett. 

He’s never run faster in his life. 

The scene that he finds in the ballet studio is one that fills him with anger and terror, and his first instinct is to get Alice out. 

Not Bella bleeding out on the floor and screaming (oh god, he knows that scream) with an extremely broken leg. 

Or to destroy James, with his joker-smile.

Alice is standing over Bella, blood on her face and dress and hands, and she’s getting upset about it, a thin cry coming out of her mouth as she stares down at her maybe-future-best-friend’s blood smelling so tempting…

But when James laughingly steps forward towards Bella, Alice growls protectively. 

He swoops in, barely pausing as he grabs Alice and gets her out of James’ reach, smoothing her hair as he tries to look her in the eyes; but Alice’s eyes dart, never meeting his. Not a surprise that today would become a bad one, that Alice can’t communicate right now. 

(James was alone with her for too long; he hates himself for that. He’s terrified she’s been hurt in some way, that the damage is worse than being slathered in her maybe-friend’s blood. )

“Are you okay?” 

As soon as the words are out, James slams into him from nowhere, and he can’t worry about Alice or Bella in that moment. 

But all he can hear are Alice’s soft cries from where she’s standing in the corner. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

a decade later sure i'll put it into Text Post "tumblr user claims: plausibly may feasibly" form, starting with these classic screenshots i still have saved

this being dialogue from 2015's always watching: a marble hornets story, which is like hey this is a pretty well produced indie venture & you can sure like sit through it even if you then never watch it again b/c it's still kind of overly on the beaten path & "i'm not sure this choice is justified in much of anything" (see: bizarrely omnipresent thread of a love triangle just to be There; typical Mental Patient(tm) Harbinger; several real marked More Is Less instances arguably) that is still a better time than other random horror material i've seen & hated vs. only mostly been underwhelmed by but in an Overall Shrug way alone. yeah imdb's 4.7 out of 10 seems fair enough if you consider like 5 stars truly middle of the road solid if forgettable vs that anything < 7 stars is for [Bad!] or whatever

anyways the main character is named milo & indeed the creator(s) / actors / writers troy joseph & tim were involved in the production at all: tim at least by being the first step in doug jones's casting by reaching out directly (online), but troy & joseph also via Some writing, like in that slender game sequel also: not the Primary creators / writers, but still officially involved in the creative process at all. & i knew of them & they knew of me by this time & in a [source: dude just trust me] style of way, i, a tumblr user, am like "i think milo alwayswatching Could be named after me, milo unproduciblesmackdown. lol." b/c also like yeah i can take it on the chin if it's a coincidence, which is also likely. great name & it's just not being used enough in fictional & nonfictional people's names. you might also be aware that some role in tribetweIve is named milo (maybe the main guy. i never watched it) so you might also speculate it's named after that guy, which seems plausible also, But: afaik there are no other similar plausible shoutouts at all, to that series or to emh which was just as majorly like One Of Those 3 Biggest Online Series. may or may not add a grain of salt to take it with. like my own "of course, there's a grain of salt in 'milo just like me milo, and Uncoincidentally?' b/c how wouldn't there be. a name people have"

the dude just trust me argument: distilling it down to "i went to their first convention & then the same one the next year, & in these experiences i Know they knew of me from that + also online, where people knew my name was milo as well" and "it seems feasible enough it's an easter egg Not Coincidence that i first knew this character's name happened to also be milo b/c someone who experienced a clip sent me an ask about it, so they assumed it was a possible actual connection too lol." and, of course, it might be a fun coincidence after all. but i'm still like "yeah no it Could be a funny little shoutout to me specifically for real" and mean it and, again, i can endure it if i'm completely wrong. b/c who could care, and also b/c it's so funny that the character is a guy who basically just is like "i am going to have a bad attitude. b/c of the insistent tiresome love triangle thing. well now I'm insistently tiresome" and fucking everything up but like, sure. exasperating epic fail protagonists

the only relevance i think it has besides "to me, b/c i can go haha yeah. that might be like: just like me!!" is that it's Also plausible b/c yeah marble hornets Is the kind of series that might go "this could be an easter egg about some queer autistic tumblr user we know about" lmao, its Inherent Queerness both re: the material and in the creators' knowledge like yep that's how our Appreciators skew! like it's low stakes to be like [lol, Me. perhaps] b/c it's obviously of zero importance like it adds no info, i'm just some rando queer fan from back in the day, but it's this potential Fun Fact that's funny to know & it's about "yeah like they knew i was trans back then too & that it was like, amidst the MH Fans, like nobody's cishet man (shaggy rogers voice)" Gay Rights!

[oflgtfol]

i will always love astro but a part of me kinda regrets this and is like maybe i would have faired better in geology. like i do wish i had taken more geology classes i only took that one and i didnt pay more than 5 minutes attention to it

[trans-leek-cookie]

comes out of the "googling things about the disorder you have and then googling a vague medical term and not getting a clear answer and complaining about the vagueness of the term to your friend who probably has more familiarity with the term and it's implications in context" session covered in blood and wailing and writing on the floor