#Anticipation on the edge

[play-my-game]

[thickness-protection-program]

Holbein colored pencils are mid as hell! I will fight other artists about this idc idc

[sukibenders]

I, jokingly, at the beginning of Severance (season one) commented on how relationships work, specifically the aspect of consent, with the innie/outie dynamic. I think I said something along the lines of "What if your outie is married on the outside, but your innie falls for one of their coworkers? How would that work?", without much thought behind it until Helly and Mark kissed. Now with the latest episode of s2, I'm thinking back to that question with my hands in my lap, staring into the abyss.

[cactiaintracist]

*heavy spoilers for the star beast

only doctor who can go from - high stakes, an evil alien called "beep the meep" is going to destroy the city -ooh some actiony stuff - angst because I have to tell my bestfriend she is going to die - hissy fit about it - woman ready to sacrifice her life for her daughter - genuinely heartbreaking bit where he gives back those repressed memories that will kill her -comedic bit about said woman yelling at her alien bff for subconsciously inspiring her to donate her lottery winnings (whilst London burns) - the euphoria of doctor donna - techno babble - heroism - epic scores - heartbreak as she dies in his arms - him desperately saying "your daughter is safe" so she knows she didn't die in vain - doctor becoming all threatening and slightly suicidal when enemy soldiers come to kill him - they don't die - 2000 year old certified genius is just confused - oh wait your 15 year old daughter just got alien power because she is trans and saved the day

in the span of five minutes and absolutely kill it

[coolmanchocomilk]

Fanart for the ever eloquent @greenerteacups!! I read the latest chapter and I was simply just struck with inspiration. The angst. THE CLASH BETWEEN CONFLICTING IDEAS. ITS THE CULMINATION GUYS! WE'RE AT THE TIPPING POINT; UGH.

I can make a whole ten page essay Abt The Effect that this Fanfic Has On Me. I settled for painting instead bc of exams. Anyways, read Lionheart ppl. Best decision you can ever make.

[jichanxo]

early sunday six 🌼

tags! @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @phantasy14 @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22

here's something with kuwana that also has lost judgment spoilers. (i don't remember who has and hasn't played, so excuse the tag😭)

Here he thought when he was disgraced and fired that he wouldn’t have any more parent-teacher interviews. Now they wracked his nerves something fierce, and he had a corpse left afterwards instead of paperwork. Hell of a trade-off, that was. Sometimes third year students used to ask why he decided to become a teacher, and he’d shrugged and given some canned response about how fulfilling it was. 

Kuwana’s got another bully’s corpse tucked away in a safe, isolated corner of the world. At least now when parents asked him what he had to gain helping with such an act, he could muster up a little more gusto when he called it fulfilling. Even though most of them gave him a look like he was full of shit, they’d trusted him enough to follow through with it, didn’t they? 

[clochanamarch]

do u ever think abt how your mutuals' muses would be introduced in your muse's tv series/cinematic universe or are u normal?

[hplonesomeart]

WOW WOW WOW WOW HANG ON WHAT HOLY SHIT I’M SHAKING WHAT HELLO IS THIS REAL JSKJSKSKSP HELP???? T.V GUY JUMPSCARE ACTUALLY MY HEART RATE JUST SPIKED

[windor-truffle]

cain and asbel

[play-my-game]

[markantonys]

however insufferable i am about gawyn now, i will only become 100x more so once we have show content for him. this is a promise, this is a warning, this is a threat.

[grandwitchbird]

I used to, like most people, think Y0 was a fine place to start the Yakuza/LAD journey. Watching the folks who do start there stay confused about everything over the years has changed my mind.

Here’s the thing. It’s a great game. It’s a phenomenal period piece. And it adds so many layers to Kiryu and Nishikiyama’s relationship in 1/Kiwami. It’s great. Playing as majima is also fun. But that last bit is where we run into trouble. Unfortunately 0 Majima is easily the worst thing in the series (see tags).

See, Majima was never meant to be your sad wet boyfriend (see tags). And he definitely isn’t meant to be running around doing Kiryu stuff. And it shows. It shows if you’ve played the series before getting to 0 and you notice that the game has no idea what to do with him outside of generating angst. It shows if you start with 0 and then spend the whole franchise looking for that much weaker version of the character. It shows if you’re attentive and you notice how much more nuanced his relationship with Kiryu is as it shifts across 2-3. It really really shows if you go back and replay 0 after 4-5 (which is the original release window) and you realize that everything you actually learn about him was handled better and with more nuance in 4-5 with a fraction of the screen time. Hell, his entire backstory with Saejima (which should be the contrasted arc with Kiryu/Nishiki) is relegated to the exact same footage you saw in 4. It’s rough. Equally rough is the fact that 4-5 had an entire handful of protagonists who all had content and activities tailored to their characters. 0 has… young!Kiryu and majima!kiryu.

It’s also put rgg on the back foot when it comes to using Majima since. He’s somehow more clownish than ever and also defanged, trotted out for fanservice in most of his appearances. It was always a fine line with the character, but 0 crossed it fully. We’ll see if being a pirate gives him his groove back. Should at least be as funny as the sad old man shack, so I’m hopeful this is progress. And if you’re wondering where to start with the series. My vote is Kiwami or 7. You’ll have a more fair view of what the series as a whole is about with those two.

[lesbianraskolnikov]

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

Okay y'all. This is the story of how I owe $17,000 to the guy who propositioned me during family night at a local brewery and now I'm committed to bringing sensible wine options to his house for Thanksgiving.

Our tale begins like most do - panic crying in the living room while my house floods. Because of a freak polar vortex like day in February, my old drafty house and the rust bucket of a boiler in the cellar created a horrific one-two punch that ended in me nearly freezing to death in my own home and almost all of my heating pipes cracking and leaking, flooding my first floor and basement. It was terrifying, beyond stressful, and most importantly to this story, expensive.

After 2 and a half months of living in a hotel, battling insurance companies, daily anxiety attacks, and having 4 grand of insurance money stolen by my bipolar, narcissistic mother, I hit my absolute fucking limit. Friends of mine who are much better off financially than I have ever been in my life offered to help me out of the dark, lonely, and cold hole I'd wound up in. Three text messages and a lot of tears later, I was in possession of a check for $17,000 and had an official start date for construction. Praise Dolly.

A hop, skip, and a jump through time and we're now in July. I'm paying my friends back in monthly installments and trying not to crumble from the knowledge that it will take me 4 or 5 years of consistent payments to get out from under this loan. But at least I have heat. It's the little things I guess.

My friend, let's call him Mitch, and his wife, who unfortunately shares my name but for this we'll call her Lucette, are kindly checking in on me and inviting me to coffee/dinner/drinks to hang out. Things seem like they're back on track to being normal.

Lucette gets a new job that requires a ton of travel, so I don't see her as much as I do Mitch, but that doesn't bother me, as Lucette and I were never particularly close and spending more than an hour of time with her makes me feel like a dirt poor 19 year old who showed up to a nice dinner party in paint stained jeans and a ripped band tee. We are not energetic or socioeconomic equals.

One weekend, Mitch and I get drinks just to catch up, and he tells me that him and Lucette have made the decision to try out ENM (ethical non-monogamy). They've been married for 7 years, have had a bit of a dry spell due to pandemic close proximity, and there's just the general vibe that they want to try new things. I get it! And I'm encouraging. Life is too short for bad sex, I tell him, and he's thankful I'm not judging them. We have a good laugh about it all - particularly the bit about them seeing my profile on Feeld, as they have one too - and after another beer, I go home.

This is probably the part of the movie where the music changes, warning the viewer that some event is looming and possibly dangerous for our protagonist. If only life had such a soundtrack I could hear.

Throughout the summer and into September Mitch and I see more of each other and I take notice of the uptick in chill weekend day drinking and texts. Nothing about it feels off or motivated by anything other than being bored and wanting to hang out with a friend. And because I know about his ENM journey, I think there's the appeal there of getting to speak freely to someone who won't wrinkle their nose and make jokes about bringing pineapples to neighborhood BBQs. In a stunning change of mental pace, I don't overanalyze it. Perhaps this was a mistake.

One morning I wake up a text from Mitch cancelling plans. I'm secretly thrilled - I didn't want to shower that day anyway. But I can also tell something has gone horribly wrong on his end, but he doesn't say what, so I just "yeah, sure, let me know when you're free next" my way out of the conversation.

When we do talk next, he tells me why he cancelled. Lucette cheated on Mitch during a work trip. They'd established rules within their ENM arrangement that she broke. And she broke them loudly, multiple times, and with her iPad still logged in and left on the kitchen counter in full view of Mitch. Horrible words are said, declarations of 'the best sex of her life' are sent to several group chats, pictures are seen. It's bad.

Mitch is unwell. I comfort him as best as I can and he tells me that he and Lucette aren't pulling the divorce lever yet, but he's still heartbroken and scared he's going to lose his marriage. I feel awful for him. I offer to buy him another beer. He shows me the texts he saw. It's officially A Lot.

From that day on, I become his "my wife cheated on me with the guy she told me not to worry about" therapist friend who he can unload on and get sympathetic words in return. I've been imprinted on by the depressed baby bird hatched by infidelity and low self-esteem. It's not the first time, and I'm certain it won't be the last.

Tell me, how's that soundtrack only you, the audience, can hear? I bet it's tense and full of cello.

A few weeks later, I get a head cold. It's not the end of the world but it's annoying. I'm fevered, stuffy, exhausted, and I have not a drop of soup or broth in my home. Mitch sees my Instagram story about being sick and offers to bring me soup. "Aww, that's so nice of you, thank you." "Of course! I'll go get it and be right over." "Awesome! Just text me when you drop it off." Thirty minutes later my doorbell rings. My dogs bark their heads off. I'm a little annoyed. The bell rings again. I see Mitch's car in my driveway. I mutter to myself about why he didn't just leave it on the steps as I go to the door. I look disgusting and I'm flushed with a solid 100.2 fever, but I guess I'm having face time with Mitch now. I open the door and he hands over the soup almost immediately, but with an odd look on his face. I thank him and ask what I owe, but he refuses for me to pay him back. I thank him again. He doesn't make a move to leave. I tell him I'd invite him in but.... *gestures widely to the PJs I've worn for 3 days in a row and the broken capillaries in my nose and the dogs still barking behind the second entryway door* He smiles awkwardly and says it's okay. He still doesn't leave. "So... how are you, Mitch?" His shoulders slump. "I'm not doing great."

Ah. There it is. Mystery solved. My time has been bought with soup and he's lingering to collect on it. So I lean on my door, sniff back a disgusting level of mucus, and brace myself for whatever is about to be said. Turns out, Lucette couldn't stop texting the Best Sex Ever guy and possibly is fixated on him due to some weird aging hot girl nonsense. Mitch tells me he and Lucette are separating. She's sleeping in her home office. The mess got messier. I tell him I'm so incredibly sorry, this is awful, etc etc etc. He stays for 20 minutes to tell me all of this and get as much of a pep talk as I can muster while trying not to sneeze directly in his eyes.

In the interim, I've gotten several strangely loaded texts from Lucette, telling me she's glad Mitch has me and that she knows he values my friendship and advice on things. Alexa, play "She Knows." But I keep things as vague as possible, because I don't want to shove myself even more in the middle. I didn't choose to be imprinted on, but I can choose not to encourage a more permanent bond. Call me a wildlife rehabilitation center.

Being sick takes me out of commission for a while, and I have to reschedule multiple things, including getting beer with Mitch. That doesn't deter him from messaging me of course, but I don't see him for a couple weeks. When I'm feeling better, I tell him we should check out a brewery we've never been to before and we set a day.

This is probably the part when the audience yells as the protagonist not to go. Don't get in the car. Stay home.

Ah, to not be a participant in the narrative.

I get to the brewery and immediately I notice 2 things: 1, it's family Sunday Funday, and 2, the vibes around Mitch are........uncomfy. I turn into a socially anxious motormouth. I can't stop talking about literally everything that doesn't matter, including the child at the table next to us playing a solo game of Uno and the 80's music playlist. I order my beer and finally force myself to chill tf out. Maybe I've picked up on a vibe that has nothing to do with me. Maybe he's just feeling weird. Maybe I'm just insane. All of these options are valid.

Halfway thru our drinks, Mitch brings up the odd texts from Lucette. "I think I know why she was being weird with you." "Oh? Why?" I sip my beer and wait. He says, "So, back when Lucette and I decided to open up our marriage, we had a discussion about who we'd see ourselves dating..."

Hey audience, how's that music crescendo?

I blink. Mitch gestures with his beer. "And obviously, your name was at the top of my list."

And because I'm the definition of smooth, I practically shout, "REALLY???" so loudly 5 people turn around and look at me. Mitch doesn't even look away from me. Instead, he stares deeper into my eyes and asks, "Do you ever see that becoming a possibility?"

Me. Dating Mitch. After months of supporting him through a painful, messy separation that hasn't even really become official. After knowing way too much about his sex life. After all the sad boy memes and depressed 1am texts he's sent. After being forced to read his angry, sexually charged break up poetry in front of him 2 beers in at the bar.

AFTER I HAD TO BORROW $17,000 FROM HIM AND LUCETTE.

I verbally flounder for a painfully long 12 seconds while watching that little girl beat herself with another Uno Reverse card, and finally land on a gentle but firm rejection of the idea. I don't have a chance to mentally process all the messed up parts to this messed up puzzle in the moment but when I get home it starts to click.

They had that conversation in the spring. Around the time that I had to borrow the money in the first place. And while I don't have proof, I can almost guarantee that Lucette vetoed Mitch's suggestion of bringing me into their situation, and now that they're breaking up, he feels like he can take a swing at it (pun? unintended?)

Which means that every single interaction, every single conversation and hang out, every single dollar bill I borrowed is colored with the knowledge I now possess which is that Mitch, for however long, has wanted to fuck me. He's wanted to fuck me so. Goddamn. Bad.

Audience, I bet you're the star at your optometrist's office with all that 20/20 vision. I'm honestly jealous.

No wonder Lucette was sending probing texts with the energy of "I know you know, and now you know I know." No wonder Mitch attached himself to me like a duckling trying to cross a busy road. No wonder both of them were so earnestly checking on me when I first moved back into my house. NO WONDER MY SUBCONSCIOUS MIND HAD BEEN SCREAMING "YOU'RE IN DANGER GIRL" FOR WEEKS.

And before ALL of this, Mitch had organized Thanksgiving at his house since Lucette would be out of town, and one of his friends created a list of what people can bring. I signed up for wine, since it means I don't have to cook. And when this entire thing came to a head, I started to write an "I'm bailing" text to Mitch. But before I could pull that trigger, our mutual friend messaged me to say how happy she is that I'll be there and that she's missed me.

So now, after finding out that Mitch has wanted to get his dick in me for months (if not longer) without even considering the power imbalance of me owing him SEVENTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, I have to pick out a sensible red and white wine and show up at his house at 2pm on Thursday.

Audience. Reader. Friends. I am.... stressed. And in serious debt.

And apparently hot enough to possibly instigate an argument between spouses.

Cue the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving song. This year I'm grateful for autonomy and friends willing to come up with a code word in case I need to escape quickly.

[doing-something-unholy]

Penance

Father Enoch assigned me penance if I failed to finish the task I set for myself last weekend. In my own defense, I did have other things to do first. Still, like Father said, holding yourself to promises is important, and I broke that promise.

Forgive me, Father.

Edging, Denial, and a bit of daddy kink at the end.

(LINK)

(It's very quiet at the beginning, sorry! It slowly improves as I get into it, and around 8:00, when I adjusted position.)

[soupdreamer]

absolutely love how the ART gatsby marketing team is essentially doing the exact opposite of what the broadway/paper mill gatsby has been doing