#Anthony having mommy AND daddy issues

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

Sometimes I think about how Anthony wanted a marriage without love because of the way his mother loves,

Because he was terrified of someone loving him the way his mother loved his father

Then, he falls in love with Kate and it turns out that he loves in exactly the same way as his mother

[sunfortune]

this fic breaking my heart rn bc this is litchrally my whole beef with the romanticization of the sharma family dynamic at the end of the season and nobody ever gets into it. idgaf if it was bad writing. they could’ve at least acknowledged there was a problem (LIKE they did for anthony and violet). literally a whole season of kate being neglected in 4k and then when she breaks down, just turning around and being like actually she was Imagining all of that bc SHE was insecure about not being mary’s. I Should Kill Youse .

[ianthoni]

My mom every time i breath

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmen Anthony Berzatto, do we have a mental health problem?

You might wanna read this for context first.

I’m gonna get academic boring for a whole minute here, so feel free to just skip right to my point at the bottom.

Whilst Carmy definitely has mommy issues, and even daddy issues as well, plus he has sublimated his sexual attraction for Syd in getting a bullshit star for her as explained and predicted here, which triggered a relapse in his addition (workaholism), as I described and predicted here. That behavior, like any addiction, is in essence a repressed sexual impulse (according to Freud). According to other experts, addiction can, in essence, be considered a neurosis (more based on Jung’s concept, which is more advanced than Freud’s but does integrate it) and all of those concepts are Freudian and thus psychoanalytical, there’s a reason why IRL psychoanalysis is not the line of treatment used to treat neither addiction nor any of the other conditions Carmy has, such as C-PTSD, burnout syndrome, etc., all the other stuff I mentioned here in the extended version. What I didn’t mention there is Carmy’s neurodivergency, AUADHD (educated observation based on Carmy’s monologue in S1 and basically Carmy’s behavior during THE WHOLE SERIES and his untrained and innate talent in the arts that leads to alienation, etc) because neurodivergencies are not mental health issues, necessarily, so they shouldn’t be put on that list.

Carmy’s case is a clear case that IRL would be treated with a combo of Systemic Therapy + the classic line of treatment for addiction based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) + what nowadays is starting to be also paired with neuroscience therapy (NT) and giving very positive results. I won’t bore you even further with the figures but they can easily be found online.

My point is: The Bear, the name of the show, represents not just Carmy Berzatto, The Bear, but also the place where many souls come together to interact with each other and all those lives are going to intrinsically be changed by that experience, that has The Bear in common. Thus the show as a whole, including all of its characters, of course, is SYSTEMIC, which is the opposite of the Psychoanalytic approach. And it's super important to take this into account because the systemic approach in mental health and in every other field where it's applied, like in business, or even education, etc is an approach in which everything is viewed as part of a whole, it's basically like a continuous dance between the individual personal perception and it's environment and how they both affect each other, whereas the psychoanalysis' ultimate goal is getting as deep in the individual psyche as possible, dive into the individual's deepest unconscious.

In case you are wondering, I do have the credentials but I'm also and most importantly, one of those who believe that you don't need credentials to discuss mental health, and this show is among other stuff very much about mental health. What you need is the desire to be aware of it and as a matter of fact, I strongly advocate IRL for mental health to be actively talked about in class since elementary school and included as part of the curricular activities throughout the entirety of the school years, all the way to Senior year. Basically, I'm all for even kids with no Elementary education credentials talking about mental health. Mental Health shouldn't be an elite topic, or taboo, or necessarily a "problem". That doesn't mean that misinformation should be spread, clearly, and I have seen A LOT OF IT AROUND HERE LATELY WHICH DROVE ME NUTS, but it does mean that the fact that I have plenty of credentials to talk about this matter, is not the point.

So, back to my point: when those kids go out into the "adult world" they not only have an accurate self-awareness about their own mental health, but they also have more empathy for others and tools to cope with what we all know they will have to cope at some point in a world that is far from perfect, but most importantly have compassion. All of this to say: cases like Carmy's, Donna's, Michael's, Chef Fields, etc could be prevented or not as dramatic if we'd look at mental health as "a must" to be dealt with from a very young age, at home, school, later at work, etc. We shouldn't talk about it only if there's a problem that moves us to go and get help, or that makes us wanna go to therapy. NO! Mental health awareness can be as simple as a breakfast at home where we actually talk and listen for a few minutes while we have that cup of coffee or dig into that bowl of cereal, mental health awareness can be us watching The Bear as a family and using that space to vent about how we see ourselves or our families represented by that scene on the screen, mental health awareness can be us choosing not to lash out at someone WHO DESERVES IT BC THEY ARE BEING A BULLY or trying to get attention in a passive-aggressive way and rather set healthy boundaries, this can be practiced online or offline, of course. Mental health awareness is understanding -or trying our best to- that the person we are interacting in one way or the other with, can very well be in this headspace:

I said understand, not necessarily tolerate. But that understanding based on compassion can change it all. That is my point.

Bonus track: I am still mad at Storer but I forgave him, kinda like what Syd keeps doing with Carm because she gets what I just said, she's a natural. BUT Storer is still, and will always be, my spirit animal because he portrayed mental health like I have never seen on TV before. No misstep he takes, and he did take a few this last season, will ever undo the amazing job he did in the past, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He started a conversation that was loooooooooooong overdue.

[buysomecheese]

I’ve figured it out it’s* because of Normal Oak

All I’ve done in the past 12 hours or so is Look at my homework (but not do any of it), listen to an emotionally scarring episode of dndads, witness the power going out in my house and becoming paranoid about it, and having an Even More emotionally scarring dream.

[oceanic316]

A very short analysis of all* the dads and daddy issues on lost

*Considering every character that was a main character

Daniel

Charles widmore- complete sociopath in many ways, only met Daniel when he was an adult to manipulate him into going to the island on which he would be killed by his mother which Charles witnessed

Boone

Split up with his mother at some point, was clearly left with a nanny frequently enough to kill her, definitely has unresolved issues with his dead stepfather as he fell in love with the stepsister

Miles,

Very obvious dad issues from being raised without him present. Did get to meet him but he was a bit of a dick tbh. I guess he did love him but too little too late

Michael

Little known about his dad but only his mum was looking after Walt off island. His role as a dad could be interpreted as daddy issues

Ana Lucia

Deffo has mommy issues but the lack of clear father figure points to possible daddy issues as does her time with Christian

Charlotte

Goes to shithole island to try to discover her father who was never there. Clearly has daddy issues regardless of her fathers (unknown) quality.

Frank

Has issues but there’s every chance they are NOT daddy issues. Good for him

Shannon

He’s dead and his widow is a terrible stepmother. Daddy issues up to here-may have contributed to her sleeping with her brother

Desmond

He had to raise his siblings so this points again to an absent (at the very least emotionally) father. Daddy issues

Eko

Had to raise his brother suggesting a largely absent father who wasn’t around much

Kate

Blew up her real father due to his general terribleness, her stepfather was in the army so probably has issues over him not being around all that much even though he seems like an alright guy

Jack

Jacks daddy issues regarding Christian are basically a main plot point of the show and even made it into the finale. Points to Christian for feeding into a lot of the characters daddy issues

Sawyer

Dear Mr Sawyer… probably the nastiest daddy issues, doesn’t really get much worse than murder suicide with your kid under the bed. All of sawyers bad bits are due to his daddy issues. Also has daddy issue ties to Christian and Anthony

Locke

Attempted murder was a pretty bad look from Anthony as was the kidney theft. Anthony traveled across the world giving kids daddy issues left right and centre, despite only Locke being shown as his biological kid

Ben

Skeletor was not a great dad and is a key reason captain bunny killer is so messed up. Also bens habit of adopting children (Ethan, Alex) is likely linked to his own crappy upbringing

Sayid

His dad the war hero gave him some toxic masculinity problems, sayid not killing a chicken is our only main clue but it was pretty dark

Libby

Like everything involving Libby’s past, her parents are a big mystery. She does have dead husband issues?

Sun

Mr Paik for sure messed Sun up. His treatment of Jin and his general murdery tendency affected sun not only as a child but also screwed up her marriage

Jin

Jins dad is the nicest guy on the list, but jin had intense daddy issues due to his shame and being raised by a single father.

Claire

Christian really putting it out of the park here! Being the result of an affair involving an American doctor cannot have been fun and his absence in her life probably didn’t help with her wanting to give Aaron up. Also may have contributed to her not trusting Charlie that much

Hurley

David Reyes is an asshole, but he’s a pretty run of the mill, leave my family and don’t come back til there’s money, but he made the most effort to fix things. Hugo has big daddy issues tho

Juliet

Pretty standard daddy issues but her parents divorce clearly stayed with her and led her into some pretty unhealthy relationships later on in life

Charlie

Charlie’s dad seems like quite a nice guy if I’m honest but his older brother messed him up enough I’m happy to say Charlie has something very close emotionally to daddy issues

Richard

Too much of an enigma for a strong analysis but imma go out on a limb and say yes

Bernard

I don’t think so?

Rose

She seems pretty well adjusted so I think no

Vincent

Everyone on the island has been his dad at some point- probably missed Walt his original dad a lot

[bloodcanbehot]

Anthony Lockwood doesn't have mommy issues OR daddy issues, but he DEFINITELY has issues

[triviareads]

Wicked Again by Kathleen Ayers

The best historical romance I've read with an older couple and that too, the heroine is older than the hero by nine years (she's 49, he's 40). Marissa and Haddon have a fling at a house party except, well, Haddon wants more than a fling and is basically in love by the time Marissa has to leave the house party after finding out her late husband was actually murdered and didn't disappear several years ago.

Two things I loved about this book: First, the plot of this story is centered around REVENGE (not *revenge*) and I looooove a good revenge plot. It's even more special to me because female vengeance is very underrated in HR and I'm all for Marissa (aided by her niece) destroying a rising political star and his mom because they had her husband killed.

The other thing I loved about this book is that Marissa isn't caught up by the guilt of being an older woman who still wants sex, which a lot of HR tends to fall into the trap of, especially where not-married women and older women are concerned. And make no mistake, Haddon and Marissa are HOT. Like, insanely hot. Literally from the first scene where they're together at the aforementioned house party. There's a growing trend of historical romances with older women, but this is by far the best I've read.

The Theory of Earls by Kathleen Ayers

We're in our artistic era this month. Margaret is a pianist so talented that it borders on wanton for the Victorians. She wants to make a match on her own terms so she can continue to play and settles on a deeply inoffensive man who happens to be a friend of the hero Anthony (Tony), Lord Welles. Welles offers to help her catch his friend if she plays the piano for him in just her chemise and stockings. As a musician, this one managed to hit all the HR musically-titillating notes for me: he's hard when she performs, he's a gifted pianist too, there's piano fingering, piano oral, piano ruination, etc. Also, it's genuinely lovely to read about two people who are this stirred by one another AND Chopin.

I will say, Kathleen made Tony's mommy and daddy issues run so deep (among other things he has a Simon Basset-esque desire to not reproduce out of spite for his dad), he said something I was NOT expecting an HR hero to say at a particularly low moment. Did he fully redeem himself? idk but the reunion was hella hot.

Anyway, go listen to Jan Lisiecki's rendition of Chopin's Piano Concerto No. 1 and read this book asap (start from 4:40ish):

A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh

I'd the two prior books in this series and gotten acquainted with Dom Kilburn (see: here) so I was READY for his and Willa's book ever since the first book started with Dom jilting Willa. In this book, their relatives and friends basically isolate them at a house party to try and get them to make up.

What I liked about this book was that plot-wise, there really isn't much going on beyond Dom and Willa grappling with their complicated feelings for one another and figuring out a way forward, if there is any. For ex-lovers, Dom and Willa are deeply, deeply aware of one another to the point where you wonder why, with this level of chemistry, Dom ever decided to jilt Willa. But here's the thing, apart from the misplaced sense of guilt on Dom's part, they both realizing they were using each other to basically shock their respective segments of society (he got a woman far beyond him socially, and she got a man who was basically her bit o' rough) which... doesn't make for a strong foundation.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the sex stuff, most of which occurs at their host's, uh, there's no better way to put this than "fuck cabin". Willa is the type of heroine who is very self-sufficient and a little closed off, so a mark of trust for her is her handing over the reins to Dom, so to speak. And it goes both ways, resulting in this give-and-take that is hot and also like, genuinely gratifying to read in historical romance. Dom reminds me a lot of Sarah MacLean's Duke of Clayborn and Joanna Shupe's Duke of Lockwood in that he's a hero who's respectful and almost reverent of the heroine, but also, he isn't afraid to get down and dirty.

After Hours on Milagro Street by Angelina M. Lopez

Let me say this outright: it was a combination of snobbery towards books that are "too popular" and a mild aversion towards magic that kept me from reading this book sooner. And I've never been happier to be proven wrong. This book had everything: a small town, a mystery centered around the history of the town, family drama, the magic was based in the culture, and of course, the romance.

Alex is the kind of heroine some people will write off as "annoying" or "unlikeable", but you understand where she's coming from pretty quickly: She's frustrated with being a woman in the bar industry, with the "angry/sassy brown woman" stereotype she feels forced to play into to a degree, and with being forced to leave her hometown basically due to the racism she wouldn't stand for. So it makes sense why she's initially very skeptical of Jeremiah, a white man, wanting to "save" her grandmother's bar, a cornerstone of the Mexican-American community in her Kansas hometown.

The sex is also pretty damn great. If there's one thing Angelina loves, it's writing a *mounting* moment the first time the hero and heroine meet (see: Lush Money) and that's basically what went down here. It was GREAT. Also, they're both talkers during sex (I believe they were talking through their shared wall while masturbating??) but it was dirty and sweet at the same time which was novel for me, but it worked. I absolutely would recommend.

That Scandalous Evening by Christina Dodd

Back to artistic HR: This is the book @jeanvanjer was trying to get me to read for a year, and finally succeeded this month (here are my reactions live-blogged). Jane, the heroine of the book, is back in society after her exile caused by a fellow debutante exposing the nude sculpture she did of her crush Ransom, Lord Blackburn. Now Ransom and Jane are kinda forced to court because of Societal Reasons as well as Ransom's suspicions that she's a French spy (you idiot), and also, well, because he definitely wants to.

The chemistry between these two is everything. I came in with the assumption that Jane's crush when she was younger was one-sided but LET ME TELL YOU, IT WAS NOT. And that scene was WILD to read. Jane is resilient and her passion for art is both adorable and hilarious because she primarily conveys her horniness through the art (e.g. she's worried she didn't get his nipples right when this man is stripping in front of her). Ransom is a BITCH, specifically in that way historical romance heroes were written in the late '90s and early 2000s (Dain from Lord of Scoundrels comes to mind) where they have far fewer scruples when it comes to what they do with the heroine (aka, fuck honor). You want your bitchy, self-involved, tormented hero, here's your man. You want this intense, borderline weird sexual chemistry (like there was a melding of bloodied hands before he went down on her??), here's your book.

[hukkelberg]

sorry that this is long. also i am the person that sent many long asks about pen in asoiaf - you don't have two anons incapable of saying things concisely, just the one. if that was a concern. anyway how do you picture pen's relationship w her dad? i thought it was kind of funny that after simon (daddy issues) and anthony (daddy issues 2 electric boogaloo) there was v little discussion about either of polin's dads outside of more info about violet/edmund and portia/archibald. between violet-francesca and pen-portia this was truly a season for mommy issues. i get not wanting to focus on edmund's death again but i've always found it odd that we basically don't know anything about pen's relationship w her dad despite his gambling and death still directly affecting her life. not to mention he died during the course of the show and they showed her crying about it. i don't even think colin has ever said anything about pen's dad dying lol. also what do you think about pen and portia's relationship post s3? i thought they did a decent job w it but there's this space where the fatphobia aspect is studiously not mentioned. like if they threw me a bone about portia and archibald's relationship really breaking down after she gave birth to a third daughter or something i would accept portia overlooking pen for nebulous reasons but they just kinda skated around that and did not explain why portia treats pen differently than her sisters. i mentioned this in my ask complaining about s3 but the decision to just handwave away fatphobia once pen is the lead is really something. i don't have a strong opinion on it but the fact that the setup for fatphobia impacting pen is still there except now it's just bc london society Hates Penelope Specifically is certainly something. they really just,,, threw some plus size extras in and called it a day. idk it's just distracting bc there are readily available ways to explain it (dad was a broke gambler, dad was possibly murdered, prudence engaged to cousin jack bc she was supposedly compromised, everything to do w cousin jack) but they just don't😭

don't worry about it! i like lengthy asks, though i'm not sure i manage to respond to every point you raise. if there was anything you asked and i missed you can bring it back up, it's okay. i also write a lot as you can tell by the read more i had to tack on here so i didn't clog anyone's dash lol (i did figure it was the same person hehe)

about daddy issues in general -- edmund to me is a bit of a gimmick tbh. i think the dead dad unless you really bring it into the fold of the character's psyche like in anthony's case (and simon too, just differently) can come off really stiffly? i guess if we saw a little more how his absence affects the family (or not! also interesting) in more personal ways to each character it'd be a little more impactful. i was really interested in seeing how colin reacted to that also, but that was... simply not expanded upon. none of colin's relationships were (sigh). it would help to ground the event and make it less of a gimmick if each member of the family felt like. their own specific feelings about edmund. they did that a little with gregory last season, and i'm hoping they do something with ben as well, but maybe that's because i'm very fond of avocadomoon's take on ben's place in the family after his death. i think daphne as well would've had a really good viewpoint for that event, considering violet's condition afterwards.

about pen's dad -- i think archibald was your run of the mill neglectful father. he doesn't strike me as the sort of man to have any interest in his children, much less daughters. if he'd had a son, i think he might've tried to bring him into the fold of his own interests, but if the son had any kind of brain and pushed back, he'd just been quickly put off and retracted back to his absent ways lol (btw if pen had a loving big brother Everything would be different. but i guess that's the point the show makes as well). i personally don't really buy into a tragic backstory where he was overtly abusive -- there's no real marks of it, and she did cry when he died, which she wouldn't have if there was any real hatred (pen's petty like that). colin only refers to him by his societal position (how his death left them defenseless) which makes me assume he never really amounted as anything more than that nebulous figure of patriarchal authority in the featherington house. not a real person to him. not a real loss.

for what it is, to me there were probably moments of sweetness in their relationship once penelope learned how to angle for some of his affection -- like in THIWFY, which i suppose is how you found me, where i mention her father is how she knows how to bet on a horse in chapter two. what i picture is penelope figuring out that archibald will talk to her if she asks about something he likes, so she asks him how to bet on a horse and he speaks to her on the matter for hours, far longer than they've ever conversed before, because she's listening so intently (because her father never speaks to her! but he is now!) and he never has anyone actually listen to him at home (because all he likes to speak about is gambling and his wife clearly disrespects him). then portia finds out and obviously cuts it short because one sure way to have your worse daughter become even more unmarriageable is to make her a spendthrift and penelope's hopes for understanding are dashed (she would've found out eventually, when she tried for another topic and he didn't respond) and archibald walks away feeling thinking "huh well that one is not so bad" and that the extent of their relationship.

have a little snippet from a future chapter of THIWFY that sort of addresses this (VERY rough. i am aware it is not entirely legible lol):

 "Lord Bridgerton," she whispered. Anthony's father. Colin's.    Penelope had never entertained fantasies of gaining a father when she married. Lord Bridgerton had died when she was barely young enough to recall a blurry face and a kind demeanour, and she had been in love with Colin long enough that she had incorporated his loss into the composition of her most perfect future. She'd liked her father well enough, only in that way you could love a man whom you were certain had never had your best interests at the forefront of his mind a day in his life. Not, she believed, out of any sense of disdain for her, but by the mark of deep and troubling incompetence only cured by the rush of luck coming his way. A detached, but present sort of fondness, resting entirely on the basis of proximity and the occasional good natured allowance, and swallowed almost entirely by pity. He was a simple man, her father. Colin, too, was simple in his own way, but only in that she was simply so attuned to his every thought and feeling it was only her own overbearing heart which blinded her to the meaning behind his actions so that when he stepped in front of her, transparent as ever, and forcefully faced her with the truth, she had only herself to blame for shrouding her eyes to it before. Anthony, in contrast, was nearly unknowable to her. The little intel she had gathered in the months leading to their disastrous marriage had been rendered useless the moment they'd dragged their feet to the altar. The fragile trust they'd nursed—that promise set at the dinner table—had not survived.

pen and portia: i think that's a done deal. i really can't figure out how they're going to use the featheringtons after this? they disabled penelope's position as whistledown, they gave portia everything she's ever wanted (daughters wed well) and they solved the featherington baronetcy matter. i don't expect any meaningful exploration of their relationship now that they've entered a place where they both understand and see a bit of themselves in one another. this really was the season to explore portia and archibald's relationship to me, though, particularly when penelope was about to make an okay marriage herself. i think that would've given the argument for true love (in colin) a lot more weight, if they'd shown how both portia and archibald had settled for each other and how badly it'd gone for them, a la mr. and mrs. bennet. i suppose that would've meant making debling a real option and that was not in the cards.

penelope + fatphobia + the ton -- oooh you just stumbled upon the thing that sets me off every single time. it's SO stupid. it's SO SO stupid. not only stupid: cowardly. vapid. insincere! god. shallow fucking feminism i HATE it. look, there's a difference between saying this woman's body is not something we ought to comment on because she's as good as any of our other leads so we're just. not gonna have it be a problem. because it isn't. (which is fine) and the absolute nonsensical cover up of building two seasons upon this character being invisible and constantly demeaned about her appearance (textually!) and then just acting as though, all this time it wasn't the dresses, it was the attitude! the new attitude she has which we totally didn't switch out last minute! it's so invalidating to the struggles of real fat women to be like guess what girly it was your shitty personality all this time! all those things they said? not real haha when you know people object to you purely on the basis of your weight. it's so stupid. i get that nicola is a goddess upon earth nobody wants to get to worship that more than me BELIEVE ME but making it an issue of confidence is so. disrespectful. and out of character. and you're right because even if we just... brushed off the fatphobia there are thousands of ways to make her a pariah that are significantly more socially weighty than like. is suddenly a fool when people speak to her.

but you know what puzzles me? the show's unwillingness to like, critique the ton. like, at all. the simpering pen had to do at the end of season three like SHE was in the wrong?????? i've always held a very cutthroat perspective on whistledown, but that just pushed me over the edge. what an utterly undignified thing to force the character to do. it just made me feel ashamed for her. why should she lower herself to the demands of these vapid people and their sore egos? to me it's part of making sure these sort of characters (like pen, like ben, like eloise) who would probably find more happiness in other environments stay trapped in this horrible patriarchal, classist, racist sliver of society. even the working class people are either relegated (genevieve) or pushed into becoming aristocrats and leaving everything behind, in an utterly black-and-white way (the mondrichs). i fear for sophie beckett, i do.

[viscountessevie]

Bridgerton Bingo!

Hello hello everyone, hope you are all hyped for S2!! The amazing @hptriviachamp had the great idea to make a Bingo card for S2 and thus we brought this to life to make your viewing experience on the 25th even better. Without further ado, we present Trivia & Sanji's Bridgerton Bingo:

Enjoy and feel free to drop an ask or PM to either of us if you have questions! Explanations by Trivia Under The Cut:

PEN THE GIRLBOSS - Pen does something objectively shitty but the narrative frames it as a girlboss move by LW

"EXOTIC" INDIA - Anything related to India or an Indian is exoticized

NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS - Kate or Eloise are portrayed as Not Like Other Girls

DAPH'S UNSOLICITED ADVICE - Daphne gives unsolicited romantic advice to Anthony despite her disaster of a season

THE QUEEN'S MISMATCH - The Queen wishes for a match between the wrong couple

ACTIVIST* THEO - Theo Sharpe plays the role of the Woke Activist who opens Eloise's eyes to the Plight Of The Working Poor and/or feminism

EDWINA CALLS OUT ANTHONY - Edwina calls out Anthony for being a little bitch who can't make up his mind between the two sisters

M.I.A. FRANNIE - Francesca disappears on us to run her crime ring in Bath

TALL GREG, SHORT HY - Gregory is Taller than Hyacinth and of course this leads to teasing and hijinks

ELOISE'S FAUXMINISM - Eloise co-opts period-inaccurate feminism for clout (likely related to whatever her interpretation of Mary Wollstonecraft and Vindication of The Rights of Woman may be)

COLIN GOES ON COLONIZER'S VACAY - Colin goes on your typical British colonizer's vacation

EROTIC DREAMS - Anyone has an erotic dream

CHAOTIC NEWTON [FREE SPACE] - Newton is an Agent of Chaos

K3G PLAYS FOR THE SHARMA SISTERS - Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham plays for a scene with the Sharma sisters

DADDY ISSUES - Anyone displays daddy issues

MOMMY ISSUES - Anyone displays mommy issues

GOING DOWN: KATE EDITION - Kate goes down on Anthony

LOVE CONQUERS COLONIALISM - LOVE CONQUERS COLONIALISM - Remember love conquered racism? This time, it's love conquered colonialism (because remember, historically, the British are currently wreaking havoc on India by waging war, colonizing, and subjugating)

QUEER (BAIT) BEN - Benedict continues to be queer(bait) - CVD and the writers won't make him canonically bi but he'll always be fruity in our hearts!

ANGRY/ HORNY ANTHONY - Anthony is angry and horny at the same time

THE TON SCANDAL-SHAMES MARY - Lady Mary Sharma is shamed by the ton for her "scandalous" past

THE MATRONS GET IT ON - Any matron has sex (Matrons include: Violet, Mary, Lady Danbury, Portia, and any new older character over the age of 40)

GOING DOWN: ANTHONY EDITION - Anthony goes down on Kate

KATE TALKS TO FLOWERS - Kate chats up some flowers, what a nerd we love her

BENEDICT HAS THE MUNCHES - Benedict gets munchies after ingesting, ah, certain stimulants

[margoshansons]

How do you think Kanthony’s dynamic will be in s3? Will Anthony be visibly frustrated by Kate sometimes like he was in s2? Or will they be even keel now that they’re married and secure in their feelings? I can’t decide if their subplot will involve tension between them or if it will feature them as a unit facing some external problem

I think after the angst and frustration of season 2, we’re gonna get domestic family unit Kanthony with a side of “oh shit we got married and now we have to deal with our communication issues” tension.

I know A lot of us who read the books and some of us that didn’t, didn’t feel like they really deserved the domestic epilogue scene especially with so much angst and eye fucking thrown in but I hope we see Anthony being completely whipped for Kate and Kate struggling with being a Viscountess than any internal issues with their marriage aside from like…Anthony’s daddy issues and Kate’s mommy issues and insecurities.

Give me blissful, annoyingly in love, domestic, always in the honeymoon phase Kanthony and I’ll be good. That’s what I want to see and that’s the route I hope they go!

Bridgerton Asks!

[falcqns]

imagine little!Chris , Anthony and reader having a chill day..they’re watching a movie and Chris it’s sat in the living room playing with his toys and back to you and Anthony he’s resting his head on your chest and we Chris see this and boyyyy he gets mad because those are his boobs , and then he starts crying and he’s not telling what’s wrong and he comes to readers lap , and star mumbling “mine , mine , mine” and then he want to nurse and it’s al possessive but Anthony and you found fit really cute ✨🥰

𝖒𝖞 𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖊𝖘

☼ 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: daddy!Anthony Mackie x little!Chris Evans x mommy!Reader

☼ 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔨𝔫𝔤𝔰: nursing, tears, fluff, biting of a nipple accidentally.

☼ 𝔞/𝔫: thank you for the request and i hope you enjoy!

you smiled as you looked down at Chris. he was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, playing with his cars, his Iron Man stuffy sitting on the coffee table in front of him.

Anthony adjusted his seating position, leaning his head on your chest. your hand came up and caressed his cheek, your thumb running back and forth against his skin. he looked up at you, and smiled, as Chris made his cars smash together.

"boom!" he growled from the ground. "big 'splosion!"

Anthony leaned up, and kissed your lips. you giggled, and Anthony gave you another kiss before laying back down on your breasts.

Chris abandoned his cars a few minutes later, and pulled his lego bin towards him. "Tony, you hafta move," Chris said to his stuffy, moving him towards the potted plant in the middle of the table. he picked out one of his lego sets, and began building the Avengers Quinjet.

Anthony sneezed, and Chris jumped, and whipped his head around. you saw him stare at Anthony for a few seconds, who was still laying on your breasts. he turned back around, and continued to build his jet.

you smiled and turned back to the movie playing on the tv. a few moments pass, and a sniffle breaks the silence of you three.

"Chris, you okay, buddy?" Anthony asked, and Chris nodded, not bothering to turn back and look at you. "okay." Anthony resigned, although he didn't seem totally convinced.

you heard the sniffle a few more times, but just attributed it to his nose running. he'd gotten over a cold a few days ago, and his nose was prone to running.

the movie continued, and suddenly, Chris choked out a sob. Anthony shot up.

"Chris?" he asked, but Chris didn't turn. "Chris, what's wrong?"

"nuffin." he said quietly, his breath hitching slightly. you stood up, and walked over to where he was, crouching down and rubbing his back.

"bubba, can you tell Mama what's got you so upset?" you asked, and he sobbed again.

"mine," he said quietly. you furrowed your brows in confusion.

"what's yours, honey?" you asked, and Chris looked at you. Anthony sat down next to him, and brushed away some of his tears.

"my boobies." he said quietly, and Anthony rubbed his sweater covered chest.

"your chest hurt, honey?" he asked and Chris shook his head.

"no!" he exclaimed, sobbing again. he pushed Anthony's hands off his chest. "you take Mama's milk! i's mine!"

you cooed, and cuddled Chris to your chest. "baby, it's okay. Dada wasn't taking your milk. he was just resting. are you wanting to nurse?" you asked him. he'd seen Anthony laying on your chest before and had never had an issue with it, so you could only assume he wanted to nurse.

Chris nodded, and Anthony stood up. he lifted Chris up, and you stood as well. you sat on the couch, and Anthony sat down on your left. Chris settled on his lap, and he eased his head back. it rested in your elbow, and you rested your arm against the armrest of the couch. Anthony lifted your shirt, and you guided your breast to Chris's mouth. you wrapped his lips around the nipple, and began to suck.

Anthony's right arm around your shoulder, and he cuddled close, his hands resting on Chris's legs.

"such a cutie." he said, and Chris smiled, your nipple still in his mouth. his feet kicked, and his hand reached out for Anthony's. Anthony pressed a kiss to his hand, and shook it, prompting Chris to giggle.

you winced, Chris's teeth digging into your skin. "okay, its my nipple, not a teething toy." you commented and Chris giggled again, but continued to nurse.

you drifted off to sleep while he nursed, and as soon as he was done, Anthony lifted him off of you.

"Mama, s'eep?" he asked, curling into Anthony's chest.

"yeah buddy. Mama's sleeping." he answered as his hand patted his back. Chris burped quietly, and tried to move off Anthony's lap.

"Dada, p'ay wif me." Chris said, and Anthony followed him down to the floor. Chris dug through the lego bin again and pulled out his Falcon lego figure and handed it to Anthony.

"you be Sam, i be 'Teve." he said, and Anthony smiled. he pressed a kiss to Chris's head, and with a glance back at you still snoozing on the couch, he began to play Avengers with his boy.

[favefandomimagines]

Why? (t.h.)

Summary: you and tom broke up at the young age of 21, after the success of Captain America: Civil War. now 3 years later, you run into him again with your three year old son

AN: more angst than fluff that’s for sure and here’s a twist: Evans!Reader (i’m also really bad a writing how toddlers sound so use your imagination)

When you imagined having a baby, you thought of the basic evolution of adulthood. Meet, marriage, then kids. Not meet, date for a year and a half, then baby. A baby who you were currently raising on your own. 

The breakup between you and Tom was the opposite of mutual. You didn’t want it. You wanted to be with him even before you got pregnant. But he wanted other things. 

He wanted other people. And that’s the part that broke your heart. 

“I don’t understand. You have never mentioned this before.” You said to him. “Y/N, it’s not you, okay? It’s just, we’re young. We’re 21 years old, our careers are just taking off. Don’t you want to be free?” Tom explained. 

“Free? You think I’m tying you down?” You questioned. “That’s not what I said.” Tom rebutted. “That’s exactly what you said! You think being in a relationship with me is tying you down. Well, fine Tom. If this is what you want, this is what you’ll get.” You snapped. 

You began to pack up everything you could fit in your small, weekender bag. “I’m going home and I never want to speak to you again.” You sneered. “No, Y/N, don’t do this. We can still be friends.” He told you. “No we can’t. Because I can’t be the friend who’s hopelessly in love with a guy who doesn’t love her back.” You said. 

“I do love you-” He started before you cut him off. “Don’t lie to make yourself feel better.” You sneered. You walked to the door of the hotel you were staying in and slammed it shut. 

You were a mess after the breakup. Physically ill is how you described it to people. You never left your room most days and when you did, you glued yourself to the couch. You lived off of Ben and Jerry’s and The Notebook.

Your friends tried to get you out of your apartment. But you didn’t feel like going out and facing the paparazzi. Especially when every time you stood up, you felt sick to your stomach. 

Even your older brother stayed with you most days. He didn’t want you to be alone. 

That’s when your friend suggested something. “When did you get your period?” She asked you. When she asked, you couldn’t remember when. You chalked it being late up to the stress you were feeling because of Tom and being cast in a new TV show. 

But, your friend bought you the test anyways. And it was positive. Your world was crumbling around you and now you had to fend for a baby. Tom told you he wasn’t going to leave you so you didn’t use a condom. And you couldn’t be on birth control because of underlying health issues you had. 

You were pregnant and you were going to have to raise a child by yourself. But your family was there through it all. Chris came to every doctor’s appointment with you, already earning the title of ‘world’s best uncle.’ 

You were about four months along when Kevin Feige called you about shooting an end credit scene for Spider-Man: Homecoming. How were you going to hide a baby bump from the cast and crew? But the only person you needed to keep it from was Tom. He didn’t want you so why should he be apart of the baby’s life? You would ask yourself that simply out of anger. There was no logical reasoning behind it. 

You shot the scene while pregnant and quickly left Atlanta before anyone began asking any questions. The main one being: who’s the dad? 

The night you gave birth, your entire family was at your side. Throughout the entire 20 hour labor before you welcomed a baby boy into the world. Theodore Evans-Holland was the newest member of the family. But Holland was only on the birth certificate. 

__

Three years had passed since you gave birth to Theo and when they said being a working mother was hard, they weren’t lying. Word spread that you got pregnant but the identity of the father unknown by the public. Including Tom. When asked about Theo in interviews you say it was a one night stand with a friend and that you weren’t together romantically. No one questioned a thing. 

On the set of Infinity War and Endgame, your mom brought Theo to visit often. He got to see his mom and his uncle Chris be superheroes.

“And cut! Let’s take a quick break! Y/N needs to go be a mom.” Anthony Russo joked. You smiled brightly at the three year old who was sitting on your makeup artist’s lap. 

You picked him and placed sloppy kisses all over his face, making the little boy laugh. “Are you having fun?” You asked him. “Yes!” He replied loudly. “Uncle Chwis!” Theo yelled, pointing to his uncle across the set. You couldn’t say no to him so you brought him to his uncle who was talking to Chris and Robert. 

Tom watched as you brought your child over to the three men. He didn’t know you moved on so quick. But he didn’t have a right to be mad. He broke up with you, not the other way around. Though a part of him couldn’t help but wish it was his son. 

You and Theo had decided to have a fun day since it was relatively nice in LA. You took him to the zoo and the aquarium before stopping at the Starbucks close to your house as a nice treat. 

Theo was a big fan of their frappucinos. 

You were holding him as he was beginning to get a little bit fussy after such a long day. 

“Y/N?” You heard from behind you. You turned around and saw Tom in the line behind you waiting for his name to be called. “Oh, uh, hi Tom.” You greeted him. “How are you?” He asked. “I’m fine. Just waiting on our order.” You answered. 

“Mommy, that’s spider-man.” Theo whispered to you. “Yes, baby, that is spider-man.” You spoke to him. “Hey little man.” Tom greeted the young boy. “You two have the cutest son. He looks just like his dad.” An older lady commented on the two of you. 

“No, he’s uh, not mine.” Tom quickly corrected her. The lady looked from you back to Tom before giving a pretty fake smile. “We, uh, we have to go. Theo needs a nap.” You said quickly, grabbing your drinks and making your way towards the exit. 

“Y/N, wait!” Tom called. You stopped a turned around to look at him. You and Tom looked at one another for a few moments before he looked at Theo. You could see he was doing the math in his head and analyzing Theo’s facial features. 

It was true though. He did look just like his dad. Same hair, same eyes, he had your nose though. 

“See you around, Tom.” You said breaking the silence before walking back towards your car. 

__

Later that evening, you were sitting on the couch with Theo watching Captain America. It was his favorite movie at the moment because he got to watch uncle Chris be a superhero. 

You were alerted by the sound of the doorbell and wondered who would be at your door at such an odd hour. “Stay here, buddy.” You told your son as you got up to answer the door. 

And when you did, you were very tempted to close it right in his face. Because Tom was standing on your doorstep looking completely distraught. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked. “He’s mine, isn’t he? Theo’s my son.” He said. You were quiet for a moment before you stepped out on to the porch so Theo wouldn’t hear. 

“Yes. Theo is your’s.” You answered quietly. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Tom asked, the anger in his voice very evident. “Because, Tom, you didn’t want me anymore! A kid wasn’t going to change that! It would tie you down even more than I did.” You replied. “I had a right to know. I’m his father.” He said. 

You ran a hand through her hair as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to make the tears go away. 

“You didn’t want me, Tom. You didn’t want to be with me and a kid wasn’t going to magically fix that. Who’s to say you were going to want to be apart of his life if I told you? Like you said that night, we were 21, our careers taking off. I gave you the freedom you asked for.” You spoke. 

“I messed up, okay? I knew that the second I woke up the next morning and you weren’t there next to me. It was stupid of me to even think that. We could’ve been regular 21 year-olds together.” Tom said. “But at the time, you meant it.” You said. 

The silence that fell upon the two of you was awkward and uncomfortable. The only sound coming from the TV inside seeping through the cracked front door. 

“I need to know him. I know I hurt you and it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. But I need to know my son, Y/N.” Tom begged. 

You looked at the man in front of you and didn’t see who you were in a relationship with three years ago. Maybe because he’s had to grow up faster than the usual person. Or maybe because you had to grow up faster and raise a child. 

“You can meet him. But we need to take this very slow. Theo is my entire world and I will not have him end up heartbroken like I was.” You finally spoke. 

Tom’s eyes lit up at your words and he rapidly nodded his head. You slowly let him into the house, Theo entirely unaware that anything was happening. 

“Hey, bud. There’s someone I want you to meet.” You said to the small boy. You sat down next to him, him taking the liberty of crawling onto your lap. 

He stared at Tom warily, wondering why a stranger was in his house. He knew. that he was spider-man but to him spider-man was a stranger. 

“Theo, you know how I told you that daddy was an astronaut exploring space?” You questioned. Theo nodded his head looking up at you. “Well, he’s back from space now. Theo, I want you to meet your dad.” You told him. 

The brunette boy looked from you up to Tom. “My daddy’s spider-man?” Theo questioned. “Yes, your daddy is spider-man.” You confirmed. “That’s why he was in outer space! Helping Iron Man!” Theo shouted. “That’s right bud. I was gone for a while, but I’m here now.” Tom finally spoke. 

Theo left your lap and launched himself at Tom. You didn’t know you would feel so emotional when Theo finally met Tom as his father. You just thought it wouldn’t be until he was older so you weren’t prepared for it. 

“Are you staying, daddy?” Theo asked the man. Tom felt like all of the oxygen was knocked out of his body when Theo called him that. 

He looked over at you and you reluctantly nodded your head. “Yeah, buddy. I’m staying.” He answered. Theo jumped up and down on the couch before you scolded him. 

“Hey, hey, we don’t jump on couches anymore, remember? Besides, it’s past your bedtime.” You told him. “I wanna show daddy my room.” Theo. “He can put you to bed. Now go get your PJs.” You said. 

Theo got off the couch and ran down the hallway towards his room. “He’s going to want to show you all of his Marvel stuff but only for five minutes. After that, tuck him in with his Black Panther stuffie. Then you have to read him a story or he’ll never fall asleep.” You explained to Tom as you stood up. 

“You did a really good job with him.” Tom commented. “I know.” You smiled fondly. “I don’t have to stay if you don’t want me too.” He said. “You’ll sleep in the spare room. He wants you in his life so you have to be here. And tomorrow, we’ll go get Tessa.” You told him. 

Tom smiled at you as you retreated to the kitchen to pick up a bit before bed. Tom walked down the hallway towards Theo’s room and found him all tucked in bed with various pieces fo Marvel collectibles. 

“Daddy, daddy! Come look at the things mommy and Uncle Chwis got for me!” He said to Tom. Tom happily obliged and sat on the edge of the bed as Theo began to explain what everything was. 

You leaned against the doorframe and observed the two together for a short while. You had a lot of healing to do with Tom but you couldn’t deny the fact that Theo needed his dad, despite Tom’s past mistakes. 

[winedarkwords]

Books like The Goldfinch:

None of these books are The Goldfinch 2.0, but they have elements that make up the flavour, you know?

A Home at the End of the World, Michael Cunningham; Fiction, lgbtq+:

Orphanhood. Unconventional friendships/love & found-family. New York. Traces two of the protagonists' lives from childhood through adulthood.

White Oleander, Janet Fitch; Fiction:

Very similar in terms of : writing-style, emphasis on art & beauty, setting, family, and specifically mother-daughter relationships. Trade Las Vegas for Las Angeles, gender-swap Theo, and (unfortunately…devastatingly) no Boris, but twice the misfortune = White Oleander. Warning: it has an almost A Little Life level of sadness and repetitive misfortune; the main character is in the foster-care system and every positive and negative aspect of that is explored. It’s an excellent book, but I can only read it once every 10 years for that reason (at least it has a happy ending).

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara; Fiction, lgbtq+:

You knew this one was coming. Some people despise this book, and I understand why. Come for: the found-family; deep friendships and an analyses of what it means to be in love or even have a relationship; a vivid, idealistic New York bursting with success and sparkling personalities; an in-depth appreciation for all art forms. Reasons not to read: so much sadness. How can so many terrible things happen to one person?! Also, certain characters die, and for what? You did this for what. Why.

Conversations with Friends, Sally Rooney; Fiction, lgbtq+:

Comparable in its exploration of unconventional friendships (are they dating? Are they not? Who can never be sure) and questions of what does it mean to be a family or how do we love people; not my favourite of Rooney’s, but needs to be mentioned. Also, the messiest, angstiest, narrator. So.

Tin Man, Sarah Winman; Fiction, lgbtq+

Don’t make me say it: Unconventional. Friendships. Also, Vincent Van Gogh and his Sunflowers play a role similar to Carol Fabricius and his Goldfinch. Plays with themes surrounding loss, and how art can save and connect us. 

The Tsar of Love and Techno, Anthony Marra; Fiction:

 I sobbed for 3 hours after finishing this. Please read it. It’s all about the power of art and human connection in devastating circumstances. 

Nana, Ai Yazawa; Slice-of-Life, Shoujo:

HEAR ME OUT: Nana and Hachi. Very much co-dependent, homo-erotic best friends with wildly different personalities who love and are loyal to each other above anyone else. Yazawa also emphasizes found-family and art. If anything, please read this because it's one of my top 3 Not Guilty, Guilty Pleasures. The art, the drama, the powerful bonds and personalities, the humour....ok.

Call Down the Hawk, Maggie Stiefvater; YA, lgbtq+ :

Repressed handsome young man who wears boring suits and has an attic stocked with original art (it’s a mEtaPHor). Huge emphasis on the importance of art +self-expression; there are dates at museums and many discussions surrounding dead painters, fraud, and how to both literally and figuratively get away with murder. Some solid mommy & daddy issues.

Great Expectations, Charles Dickens; Fiction:

If you know, you know.

The Lonely Hearts Hotel, Heather O’Neill; Fiction: 

Her style is reminiscent of The Night Circus, but the way she argues for the importance of childhood + how the characters are determined to make an innocent, happy space for themselves while desperately attempting to banish their trauma (physical & sexual abuse, orphanhood) through whatever means possible (drugs, sex, crime) is very, very, very Theodore Decker. Also, the imagery and wild characters share a similar vibe with The Goldfinch. 

Wind, Sand and Stars, Antoine de Saint-Exupery; memoir, adventure, philosophy:  

There’s a reason a whole section of The Goldfinch is named after this book. The way Saint-Exupery speaks of passion, pursuing a life beyond normalcy, comradeship, and loneliness hits just right. 

(I came out with a list like this last year, but of course, Tumblr tore it into pieces and threw it into the internet abyss where no tagging system can find it. So. Welcome to the 2021 version.)

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Can we get four headcanons about Helena Sinclair?

Realistic

Helga Sinclair wants her children to be educated and have a solid start of life; she taught them a lot of things, and finds textbooks for them.

You know, history books about dictatorships, failed and thriving civilizations, the Art of War, guerilla war tactics, how to mix your own Molotov in few easy steps...

Helena decided she likes psychology and psychiatry. She doesn't differentiate between rhose as long as it teaches her neat tricks to manipulate people. Or allows her to figure out what the fuck is wrong with the majority of Isle people.

Yes, she explained what narcissism is to Mother Gothel. Fortunately for Helena, Gothel was teaching a class (which was originally about Yzma, but that lasted about two minutes before Mother Gothel started talking about her favourite topic. Herself.) Consequently, Mother Gothel didn't hear a word of what Helena said.

One of her favourite hobbies is saying „Hmm mommy//daddy issues,“ every time she thinks someone is being annoying.

Unrelated, but she is a pretty good runner.

Unrealistic but funny

She's an OC, there is no such thing as unrealistic.

Once she lent her gun to CJ.

Wait, yeah, it is unrealistic: in the regard that she survived after Harriet and Harry learned she gave a gun to CJ.

Also Uma and Sammy Smee and Anthony Tremaine.

There is a reason the Hooks aren't allowed guns, okay?!

Freddie though it was funny though and offered her an azyl.

Heartbreaking

She is jealous of CJ Hook.

You see, Helga Sinclair saw tiny gremlin child CJ Hook (way more feral and willing to do pretty much anything for attention and out of spite) and thought „Wow. This baby can fit so much chaos.“

So she decided to basically adopt CJ as an "auntie" and teach her even more ways to create chaos. Also how to get away with murder.

Helga Sinclair has lot of enemies on the Isle and in Auradon. And she is absolutely encouraging CJ to, ehm, get creative. (It's fine. Murder is a bonding activity.)

But yeah, Helena can get jealous of the attention CJ recieves from her mom. She also spent way too much time thinking about why she feels that way and she hates her conclusions, thank you for asking.

Canon is a suggestion ✨

Upon leaving the Isle, she took one (1) look at Ben & Audrey and began "diagnosing" them.

The words "Daddy//mommy issues" were said.

It was mostly an excuse to rant about King Beast anyway.

Also, she is one of the very few people that seeks out the company of both Hooks and Hearts. Anthony Tremaine thinks she is absolutely insane for that.

He had told her so one time.

She looked around the room, in which were his cousins or maybe Ginny or anyone really, pointed a finger straight at his chest, and said: „Saviour complex.“

He shut up.

[jamesbarnesappreciationclub]

“Unsteady”

Summary: Alcoholism and it’s demons wreaks havoc upon Bucky and his family.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2k (Yikes)

Warnings: Child abuse (reader slaps her son in a drunken rage), alcoholism

Beta Reader: Thank you isn’t an accurate description of how I feel. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to @indyluckycharlie​. You’re a godsend. 

Divider credit: @whimsicalrogers​

A/N (1): My submission for @jbbarnesnnoble​ #JBBNNMHAM Challenge. Thank you for allowing me to participate. I hope you enjoy reading.

A/N (2): Alcoholism and mental health issues are important to me. The effect Fetal Alcohol Syndrome had on me were; speech impediment, multiple surgeries before I turned 6, learning disability and alcohol flowing through my veins. FAS didn’t defeat me. It made me stronger and determined not to follow in her footsteps.

PLEASE ENJOY READING. FEEL FREE TO LIKE, COMMENT OR REBLOG. THANK YOU!!!

Hold Hold on Hold on to me ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady A little unsteady….

Strands of fragrant violet hung from tree branches. The sun smiled and kissed everyone in attendance. Bucky stood tall, waiting for the love of his life to stride down the aisle. Y/N appeared, right on cue. Nothing rivaled the brilliant smile on her face. 

Bucky remembers their wedding day vividly. Remembers the flowers in her hair, her trilling laugh as he spun her around the dance floor, and the way the champagne tickled her nose- before he came to fear the glass in her hand.

Pulled from his reverie by the noticeable slur of his wife’s voice, “Hey Doll. Don’cha think you’ve had enough for today? Lemme get’cha something to eat.” 

All eyes at the table turned their way, especially when she’d had too much to drink. It wasn’t out of the norm for her to act belligerently towards anyone.

Frowning, Y/N pulled away from Bucky’s grip on her arm. “James, please let go of my arm. I’m fine.” Stumbling forward, her husband’s quick reflex broke Y/N’s fall.

“DAMNIT JAMES!!! WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME THE ALONE? JUST TAKE ME HOME!!”

Sighing, Bucky’s cerulean eyes held the weight of the world. Nodding towards everyone, he excused himself. Waiting by the car, Y/N swayed.

As the demons become stronger, Bucky’s resolve weakens.

Momma Come here Approach Appear Daddy I’m alone ‘Cause this house don’t feel like home

If you love me Don’t let go If you love me Don’t let go

Malachi Anthony Barnes is the apple of Bucky’s eye. A carbon copy of himself. Y/N chose the name Malachi for its meaning; “my messenger” or “my angel.” She called her son a blessing. Anthony is in honor of Tony Stark, the “coolest and best” uncle (according to him.)

Bucky thrived as a dad. Malachi spent a great amount of time watching football games, playing in the pool, riding his training wheel bike or watching his daddy fix the motorcycle.

This fueled a tad bit of jealousy in Y/N. She loved her son, but wondered why he favored Bucky and not her.

As time progressed, the Barnes home ceased to be a safe haven for Malachi. ‘Monsters’ hurt his mommy and she started taking it out on her son.

Sitting at his drawing table, Malachi colored. Y/N became agitated for no apparent reason. Crayon, white construction paper and the table were flung across the room. Not understanding what just happened, Malachi tried to run. Y/N’s hand slammed against his little face. A high pitch scream alerted Bucky. 

Y/N stood frozen, as her son balled up on the floor, holding his face, screaming for his papa. Bucky couldn’t believe his wife raised a harmful hand to their son.

Grabbing the distraught boy, anger burned Bucky deep in his soul. Holding Malachi, he noticed swelling. He’d only felt such rage as the Winter Soldier. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

“I-I-I’m sorry. Oh my god, what is wrong with me?” Y/N shook, falling to her knees with hands in her hair.

“Papa,” Malachi whimpered, “can we see Uncle Steve?”

Malachi’s constant sniffling ripped Bucky from the dark haze clouding this mind. In that moment, he realized the time had come for aggressive action.

The sound of Bucky’s heart shattering pierced the atmosphere. Y/N’s actions harmed their little boy. This wasn’t acceptable. Retreating upstairs, Bucky packed Malachi’s backpack. This was the end of the line.

“Stevie, I need ya.” Bucky called his childhood friend. “It’s Y/N. She, um, smacked Malachi. Please come get him. Putting m’foot down.”

“Y-yeah Buck. I’m on the way. Hang in there pal.” Steve shook his head.

Huddling in a corner, Y/N cradled a bottle of scotch. Tears raced down her face. 

Wiping his eyes harshly, Bucky wept. “M’sorry sweetheart. We can’t keep doing this. Ya need some help.” 

Hugging Malachi to his chest, Bucky vowed to help Y/N get the treatment needed to beat her demons. 

“I won’t leave ya Doll. Just gonna make sure Malachi’s safe. We’ll get through this together.”

The bottle slipped from Y/N hands, spilling amber liquor on the floor. “Where’ya going with m’son?”

“Gonna send him with Stevie.” Y/N attempted to stand, eyes wide. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Wh-what? You have no right to take my son. He’s MINE damnit!!” Y/N swayed.

“Shhhh. Can’t ya see he’s scared? Calm down!” Bucky spoke through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t mean to hit you,” Y/N reached out. Malachi recoils further into Bucky’s chest.

At that moment, Y/N realizes the severity of her actions, and their consequences.

“What have I done? He’s scared of me.”

Malachi gazed into his mommy’s hollow eyes. “I love you mommy. Hope the monster’s go away so you’ll love me again.”

“Baby, mommy will love you forever and a day. Have fun with Uncle Steve.”

Malachi nodded, waving goodbye to Y/N. She held back tears as she blew him a kiss.

Closing the door, Bucky walked Malachi out to Steve’s car. The two friend’s leaned against the car, as Bucky filled him in on what occurred.

Steve vowed to take care of his godson. “I’ll take care of Malachi as my own. Hope everything works out for Y/N.”

Kissing the top of his son’s head, Bucky closed the car door. Dejected, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Hold Hold on Hold onto me ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady A little unsteady…...

Bucky gently closed the front door, finding Y/N going through their wedding album, reliving fond memories. Tears streaked her face.

“What the hell happened to us, James?” Closing the book, Y/N hugged it to her chest rocking back and forth.

“Hey, hey babydoll. C’mere, I gotcha.” The moment crashed into Bucky like a tidal wave. They simply held each other, allowing tears to freely flow. 

“James, I need help. This is bigger than me.” Tired, dead eyes gazed up at him.

Wiping his eyes, Bucky reached for the laptop, pulling up AA’s information page.

Step One: Y/N admitted she was powerless over alcohol and her life had become unmanageable.

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