#Anne and her gay panics

[sonasnowdrop]

M’LADY 🤨🏳️‍🌈❓

[cringeisdeadandsoami]

did any other women enjoyers see the season 2 first look pics, see this:

and go directly into gay panic before making it their phone background or just me?

[happi-tree]

soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚

[redroomreflections]

With The Roses - Her Best Secret 2

1950s Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and R are having an affair. - they get to spend a night together

Note: I wrote this after watching Mother's Instinct with Anne Hathway and Jessica Chastain. I needed to make it gay. I don't know what this is truly but it's here.

Warnings: Smut and fluff and angst - there's a bit of panic =)

w/c: 7k

The sun was high, and the air was humid as you walked down the street toward your neighbor's house. Claire was having a girl's day with your mother, and Sam and Steve were away on one of their fishing trips. The house felt too big and quiet, so your feet naturally led you to Natasha’s. The sight that greeted you stopped you in your tracks. There she was, Natasha Romanoff, tending to her rose garden in the front yard, utterly absorbed in her work. She was sporting a crisp white blouse tucked into her black slacks. A sun visor perched on her head as she leaned down to inspect a blooming rose. She snipped away at the stems with small pruning shears.

You didn't call out to her immediately, enjoying the rare moment of seeing her so at peace. Her hair was tied back into a neat bun, with a few loose strands sticking to the nape of her neck with sweat. She hummed softly, a tune you couldn't quite place, as she moved to the next bush.

"Staring's rude, you know," She finally said, without even turning around.

"Well, I'm just enjoying the view," You said without thinking. Natasha smirked, though you couldn't see her face. "The roses are beautiful."

Natasha straightened up, turning to face you with an amused expression. Her cheeks were flushed, likely from the heat, and a faint sheen of sweat was on her brow. Even in the humid air, she looked as effortlessly composed as ever.

“They are,” she agreed, arching an eyebrow. “Though I have a feeling that’s not all you were looking at.”

You felt your face heat up, and you tried to play it off with a laugh. “Guilty as charged. But really, the roses are stunning.”

She smirked, her green eyes sparkling in the sunlight. “Nice save.”

You stepped closer, leaning slightly against her yard's white picket fence. “You’ve got quite the green thumb, huh? I don’t know how you keep them alive in this heat.”

Natasha shrugged, slipping off her gloves and tossing them into her wicker basket. “Patience. A little care goes a long way.” Her gaze flicked over to you. “Kind of like friendships.”

You tilted your head, smiling softly. “Is that your subtle way of telling me I don’t visit enough?”

She chuckled, pulling the sun visor off her head and running a hand over her hair. “Maybe. But you’re here now, and I’ll take what I can get.”

“Well, I was feeling lonely,” you admitted, looking down at your feet for a moment before glancing back up at her. “Claire’s with my mother today. They've gone down to do a little shopping and to get tea."

Natasha’s expression softened. She gestured toward her house with a nod of her head. “Come on inside. I just made some lemonade. The perfect excuse to take a break from this heat.”

She turned and headed toward the front porch. You followed behind her, admiring the way her slacks hugged her shapely legs and backside. Your mind drifted to the first time you had seen her in her pants. You had been unable to stop your eyes from trailing over her body, her curves barely contained by her tight clothes. Natasha was a modern woman. She was everything you wished you could be. Not too long ago, you couldn't tell whether you wanted to be with her or be her.

In the kitchen, Natasha handed you a glass of lemonade, the ice clinking as it settled. You murmured a quiet “thanks” before taking a sip. The tartness was perfectly balanced with sweetness, and it helped you cool down. Natasha leaned against the counter, her gaze casually following yours as you scanned the room.

It was quiet there too. Your attention snagged on the stack of books on the table. The covers were worn, and the spines creased from countless reads. Titles like East of Eden by John Steinbeck, Peyton Place by Grace Metalious, and The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger caught your eye.

“You read a lot,” you said, gesturing toward the books as you set your glass on a coaster.

Natasha followed your gaze and smiled. “Guilty as charged. It’s how I unwind.”

You picked up East of Eden, running your fingers over the aged cover. “These are good choices. Heavy, but good.”

“I like a story that makes me think,” she said, tilting her head slightly. “But I also like a little drama. Something juicy enough to make me forget about the world for a while.”

“Peyton Place fits that bill,” you quipped, flipping through its pages.

Natasha chuckled, her voice warm and rich. “It does. Small-town secrets and scandal? What’s not to love?”

You glanced up, catching her watching you with a soft smile. Her red hair was coming loose from the bun, a few strands framing her face. Her tight white blouse clung to her form, and you could not resist letting your gaze linger for a moment longer than it should.

Natasha noticed—of course, she saw—but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she walked over, brushing past you to pick up another book from the pile. Her perfume lingered, a mix of roses and something earthy, grounding.

“You should borrow one,” she offered, holding the book out to you. “Unless you’re more of a magazine person.”

You smirked, taking the book from her hands. “I think I can handle a real novel, thank you very much.”

Natasha held up her hands in surrender, chuckling. "Alright, I’ll behave."

You glanced at the book she’d handed you, The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. Your fingers traced the embossed title on the cover, appreciating the texture of the paper.

"What a striking title," you murmured. "You do have an eye for fine books, Nat."

She smiled, her green eyes sparkling. "It’s a favorite of mine. You’d enjoy it, I think."

"How’s little Claire-bear?" Natasha asked, shifting the conversation with ease.

"She’s quite the spitfire," you replied, unable to hold back a smile. "Though she’s been picking up words, I’d rather she didn’t. I told her I’d wash her mouth with soap if she tried them again."

Natasha chuckled, her laugh as soft as the breeze. "Children do have a way of testing boundaries. I imagine Sam isn’t much help with discipline."

You rolled your eyes, though your tone was fond. "He’s utterly hopeless. She’s got him wrapped around her little finger. ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ and all that."

"Well," Natasha said, raising a brow, "it sounds like you’ve your hands full."

You hesitated, tracing the condensation on your lemonade glass. "I’ve been glancing at the classifieds lately," you admitted your voice a touch hesitant.

Natasha leaned forward slightly. "Oh? Are you considering a position somewhere?"

"Yes, though Sam doesn’t see the point. He keeps saying we’re managing fine, but it’s not about the money. I just... I feel as though I need something of my own."

Natasha frowned, her lips pressing together briefly. "And what’s his argument, exactly?"

You sighed. "It’s still the 1950s, Nat. No matter how modern things are becoming, people expect women to keep the house running while their husbands provide. It’s not as though I don’t understand it—it’s just..."

"It’s just not what you want," Natasha finished for you gently.

You nodded, the tension easing slightly under her understanding gaze.

"You deserve more," Natasha said firmly. "If there’s one thing I know, it’s that a woman who follows her heart is never truly out of step with the times."

You chuckled, her words both comforting and inspiring. "Thanks, Nat. You always know what to say."

"Anytime," she replied with a warm smile. "If Sam needs a nudge in the right direction, just say the word."

"Do I seem ungrateful?" You questioned. "Sam provides well; he is good to me, and I have everything a woman could ask for."

"Except the right to choose for yourself," Natasha remarked.

"Yes," you sighed. "I can't explain it, but something is missing. Like a piece of myself that I've yet to find."

Natasha hummed, her eyes scanning over your features. You held her gaze for a moment before shifting the conversation.

"You know," you began, tilting your head, "you never talk about you and Steve."

Natasha’s brows lifted slightly, caught off guard by your remark. She recovered quickly, though, leaning back in her chair with a shrug. "There’s not much to say."

"Nat," you said pointedly, giving her a look. "That’s not true, and you know it. You’re always checking in on me, listening to my endless rants, offering advice, but you never let me return the favor."

Natasha’s lips curved into a faint smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. "I don’t mean to keep things from you. It’s just complicated."

"That’s not an excuse," you countered gently. "You’re my friend, Nat. I care about you, just like you care about me. Why not let me in for once?"

She hesitated, her fingers brushing against the rim of her glass. "Steve’s a good man," she said finally, her voice measured. "But sometimes... sometimes I wonder if being with me is best for him."

You frowned, your heart aching at the vulnerability in her tone. "Why would you think that? Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Natasha let out a soft laugh, though it was filled with bitterness. "I’m not exactly the ideal woman, am I? I’ve got too many rough edges and too much baggage. Steve deserves someone uncomplicated, someone who fits neatly into his world. Someone feminine. I'm not a homemaker. I can't cook but a few dishes. The roses are the only thing I can keep alive."

The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words. Natasha shifted, the weight of the conversation settling between you both. She looked down at her glass, her fingers tapping lightly against the rim. Her lips parted as if she was about to say something but quickly closed again, unsure of how to continue.

"He's lucky to have you as a wife," you said, trying to break the tension. "You're smart, witty, and a great listener. You've got the sharpest tongue and a killer sense of style. Steve couldn't have asked for a better match."

"It's not the same," she insisted, her eyes meeting yours. "He doesn't need someone like me. He needs a woman to run a household and keep his parents happy. Someone who doesn't enjoy sex with women."

You blinked, startled by the last bit. Natasha was staring at you, her expression guarded. You felt the sudden urge to reach out and reassure her, but you didn't know how.

"I'm not sure what you mean," you said carefully. "Are you saying that you and Steve don't—"

"No," Natasha interrupted. "I'm not saying that. But our sex life is... complicated. I enjoy sex with him, but I also enjoy sex with other women. It's not something he can understand."

Your cheeks flushed as her words sunk in. The air seemed to crackle between you both, charged with tension. Natasha was still watching you, waiting for your reaction. You didn't know what to say. You'd never given much thought to other women before her.

"The postman is here," Natasha said, suddenly standing and heading to the window. It was her way of pulling away from the conversation. She tended to do that a lot. "Let's see if we've gotten anything interesting today."

She didn't wait for your reply before stepping outside, the screen door shutting behind her. You watched her walk down the front steps, her posture perfectly poised. She spoke to the postman briefly before heading back toward the house, a stack of envelopes in hand. You stood, clearing your throat as she came inside.

"Let's see," Natasha murmured, sorting through the mail. "Bills, bills, more bills... oh, and this must be the latest copy of Vogue."

She pulled out a magazine, its cover featuring a stunning model wearing an elegant evening gown. You glanced at the cover, admiring the sleek design.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who loves fashion," you teased, giving her a knowing smile. She stacked the mail on the foyer table.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good," Natasha said, a faint smile curving her lips.

You hesitated, the words spilling from your lips. "Do you want to go out?"

Natasha raised a brow, surprised by your suggestion. "Like a date?"

"Yeah," you said, shrugging. "We could get a bite to eat or go dancing."

"Oh, honey," Natasha said with a soft chuckle, leaning against the table's edge as she folded her arms. "You know it can’t be a date."

"I know," you said quickly, feeling a slight flush creep up your cheeks. "I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought..." You trailed off, fumbling for the words. "Well, I just thought maybe we could spend some time together. But if it’s too much, forget I said anything."

Natasha’s smile softened, her green eyes warm. "Now, don’t go putting words in my mouth," she said lightly. "I didn’t say no. I just think stepping out together might turn a few heads. Folks around here love a bit of gossip."

"True enough," you said with a small laugh, nodding in agreement. "The neighborhood grapevine’s quicker than a telephone line."

"Exactly," Natasha said, her tone playful but with a hint of caution. She paused for a moment, tilting her head thoughtfully. "But who says we can’t make a night of it here? I’ve got a good bottle of wine in the kitchen and more records than I can count. No need for all the hullabaloo."

You raised a brow, your lips curving into a smile. "So, you’d rather keep me hidden in your house than be seen with me in public?"

Natasha smirked, grabbing the stack of mail and heading toward the kitchen. "Something like that. Besides, I think you’d enjoy the songs I’ve been spinning lately."

"Oh, now I’m curious," you teased, following her. "What kind of tunes are we talking about?"

"Only the best," Natasha replied, glancing over her shoulder with a twinkle in her eye. "But you’ll have to stick around to find out."

"Fair enough," you said, feeling a warmth spread through you. Spending a quiet evening with Natasha, just the two of you, felt more inviting than any night out.

********

Hours later, you found yourself back at Natasha’s house, taking note of the sun setting as your cue. You’d taken your time getting ready, selecting an outfit that was comfortable and flattering. It wasn’t overly fussy—Natasha would never expect that—but you wanted to look your best for her.

You’d even dabbed on your favorite shade of lipstick, which always made you feel more confident. And for good measure, you pinned your hair up, remembering how Natasha once mentioned how much she liked the style on you. Her words had stayed with you, playing on repeat in the quieter corners of your mind.

As you climbed the steps to her porch, the soft glow of light spilling through the windows made the house feel welcoming, almost magical in the dusk. You smoothed your skirt one last time and knocked, your heart picking up a rhythm that felt both ridiculous and exhilarating.

When the door opened, Natasha stood in a simple yet elegant outfit—a soft sweater and slacks that looked effortlessly chic. She gave you a once-over, her lips curving into a small, approving smile.

"You clean up nice," she said, stepping aside to let you in.

"You don’t look so bad yourself," you quipped, though your tone betrayed how much you meant it.

The house smelled faintly of roses, and the faint crackle of a record player filled the air with a familiar melody. Natasha led you into the living room, where a small table had been set with two glasses and the bottle of wine she’d mentioned earlier.

"You didn’t have to go to so much trouble," you said, taking it all in.

"It’s not trouble," she replied, her voice warm. "I just figured if we’re staying in, we might as well make it nice."

You couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling a little flutter in your chest. Natasha always had a way of making the simplest moments feel extraordinary.

"Here," she said, holding up the bottle. "I think it's best to start with a toast."

She poured the wine, and you each took a glass, clinking them together before taking a sip. The wine was smooth and rich, warming your throat as you swallowed.

"Good choice," you murmured, admiring the deep red color.

"Only the best," she repeated, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"So," you said, glancing around the room. "What song did you have in mind?"

"Ah," Natasha said, nodding. "Let me put on the record, and you'll see."

She crossed the room, and as the music began to play, your eyes widened.

"Oh, I love this one," you exclaimed. "Billie Holiday is a gem!"

Natasha smiled, the look in her eyes softening as the music filled the room. "She's a favorite of mine. This particular song always reminds me of a dear friend. A girl, actually. We used to dance together when we were younger."

Her voice was full of affection, and you imagined a young Natasha swept up in the arms of a girl, their bodies pressed close as they moved together to the music. You swallowed, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy in your belly.

"Did she mean a lot to you?" You asked, trying to keep your tone casual.

Natasha laughed, her eyes sparkling. "We had some fun times. Truthfully, she was always a bit too wild for my taste."

"Oh," You nodded.

"Are you jealous?"

"No," you said, shaking your head. "Just surprised.”

Natasha grinned, her lips parting slightly as if she was going to say something, but instead, she walked over and held out her hand.

"Dance with me."

You stared at her, surprised. You didn't know what to say, and your heart was racing.

"Dance with me," Natasha repeated, her voice softer now.

Slowly, you took her hand, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours. She drew you close, wrapping her arm around your waist, and you followed her lead. Your bodies swayed to the music, the rhythm guiding you both. You and Natasha had never danced this close before. You'd never had this moment of intimacy with her. All of your meetings before this were guided by hurriedness and practicality. There was always a purpose—a reason—for your time together, whether it was helping with her garden, sharing a quick cup of coffee, or catching up about your families. But this moment was different. There was no rush, no task to complete, no excuse to look away.

The world outside her cozy living room slowly faded, leaving just the two of you. Natasha’s hand rested firmly but tenderly against the small of your back, her touch grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.

"You’re a natural," she murmured, her breath brushing against your ear.

You let out a soft laugh, a little embarrassed but unable to tear your gaze away from her. "I’m just following your lead."

Her lips twitched into a faint smile that softened her typically sharp features. "You make it look effortless."

You couldn’t tell if she was talking about the dancing or something else entirely, but the weight of her words wrapped around you just the same. The space between you was almost nonexistent now, and you were hyper-aware of every place her body met yours—the press of her breasts against yours, the warmth of her breath, the brush of her thighs against yours. You knew it was wrong to feel this way, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt.

You couldn’t deny how much you wanted her.

As the song ended, you remained close, neither willing to break the spell.

"This is nice," Natasha muttered. "Being here with you like this."

You hummed in agreement, her words sending a shiver down your spine.

"I can't believe you've been here this long and I haven't kissed you," She said.

"Natasha," you whispered.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Kiss me."

She didn't need to be told twice.

Her lips met yours, her kiss tender and firm, and you melted into her. It was unlike any other kiss you'd experienced, and you wanted more. You parted your lips, deepening the kiss, and she responded in kind, her tongue meeting yours in a slow, languid rhythm.

You were lost in the sensation, the taste of her, the scent of her perfume, the softness of her skin. You couldn't think straight. Your whole body was buzzing with desire, and the only thing you could focus on was her.

"You always taste so sweet,"

"Mmm, it's just my lipstick," you said with a soft laugh.

"It's more than that," she countered, her fingers tracing the curve of your jaw. "It's you."

Her words made your heart skip a beat, and you could feel yourself getting flushed.

"Nat," You murmured.

"Yes?" She asked, her gaze locking with yours.

"I love being here with you.” 

Her expression shifted, a mix of emotions playing across her face. Surprise, desire, and something else, something softer. Somehow, she figured that’s not what you were going to say. 

"I love being here with you too.” 

And with that, she captured your lips in another searing kiss. You both knew there was no turning back now. You were each other's, and nothing could ever change that.

"We haven’t had dinner," She whispered. "I cooked for you. Um, brisket. It's in the oven."

"It's perfect," you breathed, the two of you stumbling to the couch. "Everything's perfect."

"Well," Natasha said, her eyes dancing with amusement. "I wouldn't go that far."

"Take a compliment," you replied, a playful edge in your voice.

She smiled, leaning in to capture your lips once more. As the kisses grew heated, her hands began exploring your body, her touch igniting a fire within you. You were burning up with need; she was the only thing to quench the flames.

You couldn't resist reaching for her, pulling her close as your kisses became desperate and hungry. The heat between you was undeniable, and you were both lost in the moment.

"Can I touch you here?" Natasha asked as her hand raised to rest along your breast. It was an interesting question, considering she'd touched you in far worse places. You nodded.

She was careful and gentle, as if afraid to scare you away.

"Don't stop," You said, breathless, as she cupped your breast and rolled your nipple between her fingers.

You could feel yourself getting wet, the ache between your legs growing more intense. Natasha was relentless, her touch firm but tender, and you were drowning in the sensations.

"Please, Nat," you begged, not sure what exactly you were asking for, but you needed her more than anything.

"Shhh," She cooed. "Let me take care of you."

She began kissing down your neck, her tongue tracing the line of your collarbone. You gasped, your body responding to her touch as if it was made for her.

"I'm glad you wore a dress tonight," She said, her voice low and husky. "It makes things so much easier."

Before you could respond, she was lifting your skirt, exposing your thighs. She traced a path with her fingers, slowly making her way up. She took note of your lack of stockings and garter.

"Oh, no undergarments?" She teased. "You naughty thing."

Your face was hot as she slid her hand between your legs, her fingers teasing at your entrance. You couldn't hold back a moan, the pleasure too intense.

"Is this okay?" She asked, her touch light and deliberate.

"Yes," You gasped, your hips rocking against her hand.

She bit her lip, watching your facial expressions and chest heaving.

"I want to try something," She bit her lip. "If you're okay with it."

"Anything," You moaned.

She smiled and removed her fingers, placing them in her mouth. You could only stare, transfixed, as she licked them clean.

"You taste even sweeter down here," she said, her tone full of mischief. She dropped to her knees and, without another word, buried her face between your legs.

"Oh," you whimpered, feeling her tongue lick a long stripe over your sex. She hummed against your skin, sending vibrations through you.

"You like that?" She asked, looking up at you with hooded eyes.

"Yes," You breathed, barely able to form the word. Based on your responses, she could tell this was your first experience with a person's mouth there.

She was unrelenting, her tongue finding every spot that made you cry out and then some. The sounds coming from her were positively sinful, and they only added to the pleasure building within you. You were lost in the feeling, unable to do anything but let go and surrender to the waves of ecstasy crashing over you.

Your orgasm hit you hard, and you cried out, gripping the cushions beneath you. Natasha's grip tightened on your thighs as she helped you ride out the aftershocks.

"How was that?" She asked, a self-satisfied grin on her face.

You could only stare at her, completely speechless.

"That good, huh?" She chuckled, licking her lips.

"More," You demanded, your voice hoarse.

Natasha was happy to oblige until a distinct smell came into the air.

"Something's burning," You said, alarmed.

"Shit," Natasha exclaimed, leaping up and running toward the kitchen.

You followed her, quickly taking the pan out of the oven and opening a window.

"Damn it," Natasha cursed, looking down at the charred brisket. "I was so distracted, I forgot about dinner."

"It's alright," You reassured her. "The important thing is that we're together."

She smiled, the expression warming her features. "I couldn't agree more."

"We should eat something," You said.

"I'm not sure there's anything edible left," she joked.

"I can make some sandwiches," you suggested, not wanting the night to end. You looked over at Natasha's face. Her lipstick was smudged, and her hair was a mess. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

"What?" Natasha asked, looking at you.

"Nothing," you said, grinning. You reached across you to wipe her mouth. "Was it enjoyable for you to do that? It seemed awfully one-sided."

Natasha blushed. "I enjoyed it."

You gave her a coy look, feeling brave.

"Do you want me to... um... return the favor?"

Natasha swallowed hard, her gaze locked on yours. You could see the desire burning in her eyes. She leaned forward to kiss you, but you hesitated.

"What?"

"Is it proper for us to kiss after?" You asked. "I mean, you did just..."

Natasha grinned, shaking her head. "Nothing about what we did is proper. "

"Then why do we bother doing it?" You asked.

"Because it's fun," Natasha replied, her voice low and seductive. "And because I'm selfish. I want to see how far we can go before the neighbors start to gossip."

You couldn't help but laugh at that, your heart racing at her boldness. You leaned in and kissed her, the taste of you on her lips sending a thrill through you.

"To the bedroom," She said, standing and pulling you with her.

"But what about the sandwiches?"

"Screw the sandwiches," Natasha said, her expression dark with desire. "I want to fuck you."

You felt a flush spread across your cheeks, and a rush of heat flooded your core.

"Then take me," you breathed, wanting her more than anything.

The two of you made your way to her room, an unfamiliar room. You'd never been in her bedroom before. There was no reason to be, considering. She was a very private person. But now, you were both ready to take this relationship to the next level.

Once inside, she wasted no time in pulling you close, her hands exploring your body as she kissed you deeply. You could feel her urgency, her need, and it fueled your own.

"Let me undress you," she murmured, her breath warm against your ear.

"Natasha, let me spoil you," you insisted, wanting to repay the favor. "You deserve."

She didn't protest this time. Instead, she simply nodded, a small smile curving her lips. You stepped back, allowing her to watch as you slowly stripped off your dress.

"Beautiful," she breathed, her gaze lingering on your bare breasts.

You blushed, feeling self-conscious under her scrutiny.

"Don't be shy," she said, her tone soothing. "You're perfect."

You couldn't help but smile at her praise, and you were suddenly filled with renewed confidence.

You stepped toward her, reaching for the hem of her sweater. You lifted it slowly, exposing her smooth skin.

She wasn't wearing a bra, and her breasts were just as perfect as the rest of her. You couldn't resist running your hands over them, feeling her nipples harden beneath your touch.

"You're amazing," you whispered, kissing her.

She responded eagerly, her lips parting to allow your tongue entrance.

The kiss quickly heated, and you pushed her back toward the bed. You both fell onto the soft sheets, your bodies tangled together.

Natasha was the one to break the kiss, her green eyes dark with lust.

"I want to do what you did to me in the den," You blushed. "I've never done that before. Will you show me how you like it?"

Natasha was more than happy to oblige. She lifted to remove her pants and underwear. Then, she laid back and spread her legs, allowing you to get a good look at her.

She was glistening with arousal, and the sight was almost enough to make you come right then and there.

"Go ahead," she encouraged, her voice low and husky. "Taste me."

You bit your lip, leaning in and pressing against her center. It was a simple kiss, one that garnered a weak expression. She was being patient with you. Her scent was intoxicating. Musky and uniquely her.

"Again," She urged gently. "But, harder."

You did as she said, putting more pressure behind the kiss. You could feel her body tense, her breathing growing heavier.

"More," she pleaded. "Use your tongue."

You obeyed, flicking your tongue against her, causing her to moan softly.

"Oh, fuck," she gasped, her hips bucking against your mouth.

"Is that okay?" You asked, worried you were doing something wrong.

"More than okay," she assured you, her hand resting on your head. "Just keep going." She directed your head where she wanted it, and you happily complied.

"Yes," she groaned, her grip tightening. "Just like that."

Her sounds were intoxicating, and you found yourself getting more and more turned on by her reactions. Recalling where her tongue had taken you, you decided to try something new.

You puckered your lips and suckled the sensitive bud there, earning a loud moan from Natasha.

"That's it," she gasped, her back arching off the bed. "Keep going."

You continued the motion, alternating between sucking and flicking your tongue. Her taste was addictive, and you couldn't get enough of it.

"I'm close," she warned, her voice strained. "Don't stop."

You picked up the pace, wanting to bring her to the edge. You could feel her body tensing, her breathing becoming ragged. You appreciated the fact that she could tell you how she felt, as this form of sex was not a common practice.

Suddenly, her body went rigid, and a cry tore from her lips. Her release was intense, her muscles clenching and releasing in waves.

You kept going, wanting to draw out her pleasure for as long as possible. She was breathtaking like this, lost in the throes of ecstasy. You'd never seen anything so beautiful.

As her body finally began to relax, you slowed your movements, bringing her down from her high. You rested your head against her thigh and waited for her.

"Come here," she said, her voice shaky.

You crawled up her body, meeting her lips in a deep kiss.

"That was incredible," she murmured, a lazy smile across her face. "Not bad for your first time."

"I had a good teacher," you replied, returning her smile. You slipped under the sheets. 

"And a very willing student," she teased.

You settled into her arms, both of you content and satisfied.

"Sex with you is," You began.

"Incredible?" She smirked.

"It is, but also... it's just so easy," you explained. "Being with you is like breathing."

Natasha didn't speak but drew you closer, kissing gently on your temple.

"I'm learning so much," You continued. "Thank you for letting me explore with you."

Natasha's expression softened, and she leaned in to kiss you, slow and tender.

"You're welcome," she whispered, her voice full of affection."Why do you do that?" She questioned.

"Do what?" You asked, unsure what she was referring to.

"Hide from me," She said, her gaze trailing over your bare skin. "There's no need. Not here."

You swallowed, not knowing how to respond.

"I've had a child," You answered. "My body isn't as..."

"It's perfect," She interrupted. "Just like the rest of you."

She was right, you decided. Why should you hide from her? After all, she had seen you in all your naked glory. It was only fair that you returned the favor.

Slowly, you emerged from beneath the sheets, letting her look her fill.

"Beautiful," she murmured, her eyes filled with desire. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Come here," She instructed, holding out her arms.

You obliged, crawling into her embrace. Her lips met yours, and the kiss quickly grew heated.

You found yourself straddling her, her hands exploring your body, and the ache between your legs intensified. You wanted her, needed her.

"Please," you whispered, desperate for her touch.

"Tell me what you want," she said, her voice low and husky.

"You," you replied, unable to articulate more than that.

"Then you shall have me," she said, rolling the two of you so she was on top.

"How would you like to come this time?" She asked, her hands cupping your breasts.

"Whatever you want," You answered, eager to give yourself to her.

She chuckled, her lips curling into a devilish grin. "Then we're in for a long night."

And with that, she proceeded to show you exactly how many times a woman could orgasm in a single night.

By the end, you were utterly spent, your body exhausted and sated. You lay against the pillows, your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath.

Natasha was curled around you, her body pressed against yours, her head resting on your shoulder.

"I could stay here forever," She said, her voice sleepy.

"Me too," You agreed, your own eyes heavy. "I should probably go home soon."

"What if you didn't?" She suggested, her fingers tracing idle patterns on your skin.

"What do you mean?" You asked, confused.

"What if you stayed here with me?" She elaborated, her words slow and deliberate.

"It's risky," You sighed. "If anyone found out—"

"I know," She interrupted, her tone soft. "But we've been doing a good job keeping this a secret. No one suspects anything. Besides, I can't bear the thought of not having you by my side tonight."

You considered her words, your heart pounding in your chest. It was true; the two of you had been careful. And, you had to admit, spending the night in her arms was tempting.

"Okay," You finally said, making up your mind. "I'll stay."

Natasha's smile lit up her face, and she kissed you, her lips warm and soft.

"Good," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Because I can't get enough of you."

***********

You stood by the armchair, slipping back into your heels quickly. The soft sound of your dress fabric brushing against your legs filled the quiet room. Natasha sat on the edge of the sofa, still in her robe, nursing a cup of coffee that smelled rich and inviting.

"Leaving so soon?" she asked, her tone casual but her eyes sharp, observing every movement you made.

You gave her a fleeting smile, smoothing out the creases in your dress. "Claire’s coming home soon. She spent the night with my mother, but you know how she gets—she’s practically attached to my hip.”

"Mm," Natasha hummed, sipping her coffee.

"They’ll be back soon, too," you said, avoiding her gaze as you adjusted your earring. The rush in your movements betrayed the careful calm in your voice.

Natasha set her cup down, leaning forward slightly. "You’re in a hurry," she noted, her voice softer now, almost teasing but edged with something more. "Do you regret our night together?"

You froze for a split second, feeling her words settle uncomfortably in the air. You knew you shouldn’t feel guilty. You hadn’t done anything wrong—or had you? Shaking off the thought, you reached for your purse.

"I just don’t want to raise any questions," you said, your tone light. "It’s nothing."

Natasha’s voice followed you, stopping you in your tracks. "Do you think about it?"

You turned to face her, her words catching you off guard. "Think about what?"

Her green eyes stayed on yours, steady and unflinching. "What it would’ve been like if things were different. If we were different."

You blinked, caught in her gaze, the question hanging in the air. "Natasha," you began, trying to find the words. "I—"

"It's alright," she said, her lips quirking up. "I understand. We have our responsibilities. And, besides, some things can't be changed, no matter how hard we wish they could."

Her words cut through you, and you felt a wave of sadness.

"I'm sorry," You sighed. "I enjoyed my night with you. I really did."

"I know," She reassured. "So did I. We should do it again sometime." She opened her arms for a hug.

"I would love that," You answered. She breathed in your scent, smelling herself all over your body, and hummed.

"The idea of him touching you makes me crazy," she murmured. "But I also love smelling my scent on you. I bet he wouldn't be able to do a quarter of what I did to you last night."

It's the first time you've heard her be so possessive. Your breath caught in your throat at her words.

"It's only fair," She continued. "You should have let me mark you."

You felt a surge of arousal course through you at her words but also a flicker of unease. It was dangerous territory, the two of you getting so attached.

"We have to be careful," You warned, though it was the last thing you wanted. "Someone could find out."

"Would it be so bad if they did?" Natasha knew she was being reckless, but she didn't care. All she cared about was you. She nuzzled her nose into your neck.

"Natasha," You protested, your resolve weakening. "We can't."

"Yes, we can," She said, her voice low and seductive. "Just think about it, being with me every day, sharing our lives."

It was tempting, but you knew it was impossible. "It would never work," You said, trying to sound firm, but the words came out sad.

Natasha’s brows furrowed as she pulled back slightly, her piercing gaze locking onto yours. "Why wouldn’t it work?" she challenged, her voice steady, though there was a hint of frustration beneath it.

"Because it’s not just about us," you admitted, your hands trembling as you stepped away, needing space to think clearly. "I’m scared, Natasha. Scared of what this... of what you make me feel."

"Scared?" Natasha repeated, her tone sharp now, almost incredulous. "What’s there to be scared of? Isn’t it scarier to stay in something that doesn’t make you happy?"

You shook your head, your voice cracking as you tried to explain. "It’s not that simple. I love Sam. He’s a good man. And I don’t want to hurt him—or Steve."

Her jaw tightened, and for a moment, she looked away, exhaling deeply. "You should have thought about that before," she said quietly, her words cutting like a knife.

"I know," you replied, guilt heavy in your chest. "And maybe... maybe that’s why we need to cool down. This—whatever this is—it’s too much, Nat. It’s moving too fast, and I... I could lose Claire."

Natasha blinked, clearly taken aback. "Lose Claire?" she repeated, her voice filled with disbelief. "That’s ridiculous. Sam would never take her away from you."

"You don’t understand," you said, your voice rising as panic bubbled. "You can’t understand because you don’t have children. You don’t know what it’s like to have your entire life revolve around them, to know that one wrong move could take them away from you."

The words hung in the air, heavy and biting. Natasha’s face hardened a flicker of hurt, crossing her features before she masked it. "You think I wouldn’t understand?" she asked, her voice quieter now but no less intense.

"I didn’t mean it like that," you said quickly, regret pooling in your stomach.

"But you did," she countered, stepping closer, her gaze uncompromising. "You think because I don’t have children because I can’t have children, that I wouldn’t understand what it means to love someone so much it scares you?"

You froze, her words hitting you like a punch to the gut. "Natasha, I—"

"Don’t," she interrupted, her voice thick with emotion. "You’re scared, fine. But don’t you dare stand there and tell me I don’t understand love? That’s the one thing I do understand."

The room fell silent. Natasha’s breathing was steady but labored, as though she was holding back everything she wanted to say.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just... I’m trying to do the right thing."

She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "The right thing? For who? For Sam? For Steve? When do you start doing the right thing for yourself?" Natasha sniffled. "You're right." She said. "You should go home and prepare for Sam."

"Natasha," you started, but she held up her hand.

You stood there, conflicted, unsure of how to proceed when she moved towards you. For a moment, it seemed like she was going to say something more, but instead, she reached out, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that surprised you.

"You're a good friend," She murmured. She placed a final kiss on your lips before pulling back. "I suppose you can see your way out."

She turned and walked down the hall, leaving you alone.

You stared after her, feeling the ache in your chest grow, and tried to ignore the sense of loss that was settling in.

You told yourself that you were doing the right thing, even as tears spilled down your cheeks. It was the right thing.

And yet, as you walked out the door and headed home, you couldn't help but feel like a part of you had stayed behind.

[yellowballoondogs]

Giving the x-men disabilities so they can suffer like me

I just think it’s cool how much people can relate to the x-men in marginalized groups no matter the group. Just like how they’re all gay, POC, religious minorities, etc.

Cyclops- Scott Summers

C’mon this is the most autistic man to ever autism

He’s got model plane sets and shit around his otherwise empty and perfectly cleaned room with the sheet corners tucked in and everything

He stopped stimming because of O’Diamonds and Sinisters abuse but started again when he got more comfortable with the o5 team. He definitely does flappy hands

He probably hyper fixated on an obscure engineering subject

photophobia- light sensitivity

Idk if it’s cannon or not but it would make sense with his brain damage and all (plus I have it and I’m projecting) it’s also an autism symptom so double whammy- his glasses will help

Migrainous stroke- basically stroke with migraines. It ties into brain damage and photophobia with migraines which would make so much sense. Frequent strokes too? Fuck yeah let’s highlight how his childhood trauma and overwhelming power effect him- how mutant powers aren’t always good.

He should have really shitty vision- canonically colorblind- wears glasses all the time so low light, his eyes basically fucking glow. This man cannot see for shit

“cut the red wire cyclops!” “They’re all red!”

Storm- Ororo Monroe

She’s canonically claustrophobic but it’s really only used as a once in awhile plot device

I think it should tie into anxiety a lot more

Ororo is the kind of person who uses a planner to manage every aspect of her day so she’s never caught of guard

She’s got only one timer set up to take her meds instead of 10 like the rest of us (she’s simply better)

She would have actual panic attacks that don’t end the second she’s out of a confined space. Full run-

For her a panic attack would cause a lot of derealization. She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she feels out of control, like she can’t breathe, dizzy, both hot and cold at the same time.

Nightcrawler-Kurt Wagner

syndactyly- fusion of fingers or toes. This is basically cannon. He’s got 2 big fingers and toes so like no explanation really needed. He’s got it even if it’s for different reasons.

This greatly effects his ability to do certain things- our boy can’t use a controller can he? How’s he meant to play Mario cart with the rest of the team ):

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome- bendy bones and stretchy skin that causes lots of joint pain

He canonical has bendy bones so like this is also half canon. Plus I’m giving my blorbo chronic pain to project.

Pretty sure there’s a Spider-Man with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too so that’s very slay.

Rouge- Anne-Marie

Hear me out- HPV It’s the whole- “I can’t touch anyone” thing

She was born with it

It causes a lot of pain for her but she hides it around people she’s not comfortable with (so really just unmasking in front of remy and her family)

Also stds just need to be a lot more normalized. And her having to be so weird about people with it fits so much with the whole “ew mutants” thing

Xavier

Yeah yeah he’s a paraplegic

They should be better about it though. No more of this curing him so often he’s like the one famous character wheelchair bound people get

Stop making him so weak, he runs a school to learn how to kick ass, man can probably box, who needs legs. They always just make him useless once someone kicks over his chair or something

Chronic migraines again

Listen hearing all those thoughts all the time can’t be all sunshine’s and rainbows. Make him suffer (this goes for all telepaths)

Gambit- Remy Lebeau

He canonically has brain damage (via lebeatomy) (haha get it)

He’s getting hit with migraines too. Making all these losers suffer

He probably also has very bad vision because of his eyes- probably not very good with light just like cyclops (likely worse)

I’m going to give him the worlds worst period cramps via dysmenorrhea. Yeah he’s trans to me I’m a romy t4t Reuther

Rapid fire listings let’s go!

Jubilee canonically has Dyscalculia- like dyslexia for numbers

Wolverine canonically has memory issues and ptsd

Magneto canonically has ptsd

Legion canonically has multiple personality disorder or DID- dissociative identity disorder. It’s not always portrayed the best but rep is rep

Angel canonically has hollow bones- I’m gonna gc him with osteoporosis

Headcanoning Madelyn Pryor with post partum depression

Scarlet witch gets head cannoned half of all the mental disorders- depression, psychosis, ptsd, and anything you wanna give her. Girl needs a staff of therapists, psychologists, and a cocktail of pills

Quicksilver gets headcannoned with ADHD. Boring I know but I’ve got it and it fits him so projection time

Let marrow have ptsd. Girl witnessed a genocide of her people and her moms death as a child. Why do they skim over that? Girl is suffering

Pyro canonically had the legacy virus which was like a big euphemism for AIDs so he gets that. Plus he also gets hit with the autism beam

Toad is autistic. No further questions

Jean grey gets the psychic migraines but I’m also giving her autism cause her relationship with Scott is nowhere near neurotypical. The biggest disability marvel gave her was liking wolverine though. He canonically smells like shit and is an asshole. I love him.

Kitty pryde gets type 1 diabetes- I cannot explain why it fits her it just does

Cable gets lupus cause he canonically had a fantasy space tech autoimmune disease so let’s just make it more realistic

Daken gets lactose intolerance (he’s fine because he doesn’t really actually eat dairy)

Iceman gets lactose intolerance (he’s not fine because he loves all things dairy)

Dust gets celiac disease

[xamiipholia]

okay y'all seemed to like the last one so here's a few more Horizon 3 thoughts:

Aloy won’t die. It would completely upend the series’ themes and just be really nihilistic.

Since Nemesis is a gestalt entity I think it’s a safe bet that we’ll see Sam Witwer, Carrie-Anne Moss, etc again. I’m curious how they’re going to do it because at least structurally, it’s basically a reaper. Maybe it’ll use different Avatars when communicating like the Leviathan in ME3. 

It's gonna take some work to make a flashback/dream/vision not contrived but I would love to see Varl and Rost again. I think we deserve that.

Minerva is gonna have its work cut out for it blocking access to both the dormant Faro Swarm and the ZD terraforming system. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nemesis has some sort of corruption function that becomes the equivalent of the corruption in HZD. It would be a really fun tech showcase if GG uses Zenith nanotech for machine corruption and leans into mechanical body horror.

If we’re going to Ban-Ur I really really hope they do the work to make the Banuk less problematic and more fleshed out as a culture. A quasi-Spartan society absolutely would not survive in an extreme environment, *especially* without megafauna to hunt. The Banuk characters are lovely and well-written; they deserve a society as well thought out as the Utaru or Carja. I’m honestly fine if there’s retcons or revamps to the cultural lore because the whole “outsider barges in and becomes chief” is rooted in racist, colonial tropes and we just don’t really need that imo.

The most recent footage of Death Stranding 2 (also running on Decima) has me SO excited for the visuals. GG’s gonna knock it out. The facial rendering and animation that Kojima Productions are doing looks industry-peak and I’m sure GG’s gonna match that. Aloy’s Gay Panic™️ scene on the beach in HBS is already top-tier nonverbal storytelling through animation. Digital Foundry actually just posted a really cool tech breakdown of the current Decima engine. I’m especially excited about the environmental stuff. The ocean simulations in HFW are already incredible and I hope they increase verticality in the world. I can’t wait to see the Sacred Lands in current gen graphics. 

I really love Kotallo’s DIY arm and it’s so so important to his development but Beta and Gaia now have access to Zenith nanotech, maybe give your buddy a sick upgrade hmm?

Speaking of, I can’t wait to see Beta come into her own. She’s one of the best parts of HFW and Aloy’s character absolutely shines in a sibling dynamic. 

I wouldn’t get your hopes up for a romance mechanic. Everyone’s feelings on that aside, it would be really odd from a game development perspective to just overhaul part of how the narrative develops Aloy’s character in the last act of the story. Yeah, there are flashpoints but I would argue that the presence of choice in Horizon is smoke and mirrors- cosmetic at best. Kentucky Route Zero (which you should play) does something similar where the player is given a certain amount of control over the substance of individual conversations and scenarios and it does absolutely nothing to alter the plot, by design. I think it’s the same here - this isn’t really a choice-based RPG, the flashpoints don’t really affect anything plot-wise or for Aloy’s character development. Olin is still out of the story, Nil lives, Regalla still dies one way or another. Aloy’s character development is pretty firmly on rails (think Jin Sakai, not Shepard - you get to guide some momentary character reactions but that’s it). I don’t think HBS is a testing ground either - If they were gonna introduce a romance mechanic I think they’d just do it, and not spend two years making a direct continuation of HFW’s main quest and establishing a specific romance hard-baked into the plot, complete with multiple leitmotifs for the character relationship (which is something they haven’t done before afaik) just to introduce a side quest mechanic coming in 5 years. I genuinely can’t think of any game or dev that has beta tested a major alteration to upcoming game mechanics that way - it doesn’t really make any sense in terms of developer resources, and these games are extremely time-consuming to make. I know this is a thing a bunch of people want and I can totally empathize with that! I just think it’s probably not on the table. 

I would bet money the series will bookend itself and the epilogue will involve a) the naming of Zo and Varl’s kid and b) Lis’ pendant. 

Mostly I'm just looking forward to being surprised. One of my favorite things that Horizon does is use carefully established elements in the world to pull the plot in unexpected directions and keeping the world grounded while they lean into speculative science fiction. I can't wait to see what Guerrilla is cooking up

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

Anne and Sasha are having a casual duel

Anne:Come on, Waybright, I know you've got more than that

Sasha:OK, Boonchuy,do say I don't listen to my wife

Sasha starts to fight seriously, and Anne not expecting it starts to struggle

Their blades clash,as anne struggle to push sasha back

Anne trips, but Sasha, having dropped her swords, catch her with one hand

Anne(blushing):Thanks for the save,I didn't think you would get so serious

Sasha(also blushing):No problem,but I think I deserve a reward.

Sasha then pulls anne into a kiss

Marcy having been their the whole time, then pass out with a loud thud from gay panic

Sword sparring is basically foreplay for Sashanne, also something Marcy likes watching both for the sexual tension and for learning how to better draw sword fights in her comics/animations

[nightlilly0110]

How long I think each Phantom Thief would take to notice that Joker is wearing the Duel Glove

Morgana: Doesn’t even notice Ren changed a part of his outfit because he doesn’t care about clothes since he doesn’t have any of his own besides his collar. Only notices the glove exists because Ren pet him with it on. Unlike some of the others he isn’t oblivious about the implications, he just is unaware of the actual article of clothing.

Ryuji: Notices the glove almost immediately and comments on it but just thinks it’s a fashion thing and doesn’t notice that it’s Akechi’s. Even when someone points out to him that it’s Akechi’s, he thinks Ren stole it. Implications fly over his head and into the trash.

Ann: Instantly and she also instantly is aware of the connotations (she thought it was suspicious that Akechi was missing a glove). Is very annoying (in a loving way) about it.

Yusuke: Instantly but subconsciously he always imagines Joker wearing gloves due to his Metaverse outfit and therefore believes he lost one. Thinks keeping the one glove is symbolic of loss and hardship and thinks Ren is being poetic. Someone clarifies for him and he still remarks about the romanticism of it.

Makoto: At least a month or so. Like Morgana she doesn’t keep track of accessories and things but she also wants to keep track of trends with the student body and did research on if wearing a single glove is a popular look. Haru had to point it out to her.

Futaba: About a week and only because he had to hold her hand to lead her somewhere. Like Ann she is also being annoying about it (but mean annoying).

Haru: Takes a day or two for her to notice he’s not wearing a complete set of gloves and another day to notice it matches Akechi’s.

Akechi: Noticed instantly and is having a gay panic about it.

Bonus - Sojiro noticed about a week after Ren started wearing it and thinks courtship with young people nowadays got really weird.

[gerardwayscrustyeyeshadow]

INTRO BLOG !!!!!!!!!!

Hii! I started tumblr mostly because I read a lot of (screenshotted) shitposts on pinterest and wanted to try the hellsite myself. I'm a 13 year old (currently) artist from slovenia. My blog is going to either be shitposts, random thoughts, reblogs, or art. I don't really know what to write, but some things about me:

-I'm non binary! I go by Jace, but I'm still contemplating whether or not I should get another name. I'm also omni :3

-I am absolutely addicted to music. I mostly listen to emo/punk, but I'll vibe to anything (except balkan. No.) My favorite bands are MCR, Green day, Nova twins, Destroy boys, The oozes, Gum disease, Gerard Way, Doll skin, Paramore, Dazey and the scouts, MSI, panic! At the disco, Mommy long legs, Destructo disk... I grew up with Aurora and TV girl. Unironically danced to Marilyn Manson when I was 4 years old.

-I'm an aspiring artist! I do a lot of projects, and I'm thining about going to art high school. I don't know yet, though. I'll post my art here along the way. :]

My art is tagged as #my art!! :3 on my blog!!!

-I'm also in an orchestra! I play the clarinet (bitches at my school call me squidward lmao) but I kind of don't like playing

-I'm part of multiple fandoms, but I can't get them all off the top of my head, so here's some of them:

-is mcr a fandom? Idfk

- Good omens

- The Stanley parable my beloved

- She ra

-toon x mobster

- I ship anything gay even though im not part of the fandom

- I fucking love cherry crush

- The opossum fandom? Idk bro T_T

I think that's all of them (I'll try to update)

-I have a bf he's amazing yayyyay, luv him :3

-My favorite animals are opossums! Fucking love those bitches but they don't live even near my country. *sobbing* Also my theriotype :3

-My hobbies are drawing, going on multiple hour walks to the forest, finding cool/creepy mushrooms, collecting feathers and bones. I have. A lot. Of bones. Seriously, multiple tote bags of bones. Vulture culture slays

-I'm also into witchcraft and the spiritual world! I have a haunted?? Possessed??? Idk doll. I think her name is Annabelle or Anne and I talk to her sometimes.

-gay

-me!

-also me

-there's more??

-oh my god

That's it! This turned out to be really long, so sorry about that lol. Thanks for reading, if you did!

[symphonic-scream]

I have more of the Okujima Fake Dating thing

(summary; Makoto and Haru are uni roommates (and friends w/ benefits but that's not something they address) and to avoid her relatives finding her a partner, Haru lies and tells them she's gay (not a lie) and has a girlfriend she's serious with (mega lie))

Like. Makoto takes this job so seriously

She asks Haru for the guest list and photos so she can remember who is who and she studies, and by the time they arrive she's figured out which relatives to bow to, or shake hands, or offer a fist bump

Haru: you didn't have to do all that,

Makoto: any partner of yours should put in this much effort. Otherwise, they're not worthy of calling you theirs

The room booked for them has one bed, a real nice shower, and a jet tub. They go to bath houses together with their friends, so it's not as awkward as either assumed when they spend a night soaking in the tub together, jets turned on the lowest setting. It's even less awkward when they share the bed, since, well, they've done worse. And besides, Haru has learned over the last two years that she's hella touch starved and has abandonment issues, and Makoto? A very cuddly sleeper. It's, almost like they were designed to work well together (ehe)

Haru's relatives also adore Makoto. Both as a person, and for Haru. They all met Haru after her dad died, before she went off and made friends in uni. They met sad high school Haru. And she's so different from the lady in front of them, not hiding the little snort in her laughter as one of her cousins close to her age teaches Makoto a goofy dance, and she makes it look sillier with how stiff and awkward she is

Haru's cousins from her aunt are three boys. One is married with two kids, one is getting married, and one is her age. The middle and youngest get along with her best, the youngest being a musician, the middle a dancer, and the oldest a gym teacher, former athlete

She's got twin cousins from Uncle 1, her mom's twin. Both just younger than her. A boy, who's going to be an aerospace engineer, and a girl, who wants to be a lawyer. Overly smart little seniors

And uncle two? Two daughters. One older, one younger. The older one is married and about to have a son, and the younger one just started a business ethics degree

There are two more aunts. One, married no kids, the other? Single as hell

Haru's grandparents are there too, and they love Makoto so much. They missed out on so much of Haru's life cause they lost contact with their daughter after she married Kunikazu, and, they're just happy to see she found someone that's as respectful and loving as Makoto

Makoto: do you think your family would mind if I wore a suit?

Haru: nope. My aunt is gay, after all. Her wife will be wearing one too

Makoto: seriously? That's so cool!

Haru: mm! They're the mothers of the groom, so you'll see plenty of them this trip

Makoto: amazing,

Oldest cousin: hey, Haru? Can you watch these two for a moment? I have to go talk to my Mama

Haru: oh- Uhm, okay?

Makoto: here, hand me the little one. Hey, bud

Haru: *gay staring*

By the wedding itself they're fully together. Acting the exact same, but they acknowledge why they stare at each other so tenderly

They'd call the others, their friends from uni, from time to time

The opening of it would be Haru having to admit she fucked up to her bestie Ryuji, and Ann

All head in arms, asking either of them to help her out and Ryuji says he would but he's not exactly a gal, and Ann is spending the summer with her fiancee in Europe, checking out venues for a wedding

Ryuji: why don't you ask Makoto? She's single, and your roommate. It'd be way less awkward than asking anyone else

Haru, not willing to admit the "Friends with Benefits" thing: ...do I really have no other option??

Ann: there's Futaba-

Haru: ugh. I'll ask Mako-chan,

Makoto keeps panic calling Joker or Yusuke after things on the trip like: DOES THIS MEAN SHE LIKES ME??? DO I LIKE HARU?? SEND AN AMBULANCE SHE KISSED ME AND IT FELT REAL I THINK IM DYING

At one point Goro picks up and just growls at her to "woman up, go the hell to sleep, or die. Whichever I don't care stop calling my boyfriend at 2 am"

No weird jealousy plot either just. Them realizing on their own

Like. The way Haru asks, too

She comes home, finds Makoto cooking and humming, a box from the campus bakery on the table, and Haru knows her roommate picked up her favourites, probably just because she *noticed* how off she's been, and. She knows Ryuji is right. Makoto is the best choice to help her with this fuck up,

She walks up behind her, wraps her arms around her hips, grunts in a way that's nearly a whine, plants her head between those strong shoulder blades

"Hey, welcome home, Haru. How was your day? You had your advanced statistics class today, right?"

"Mm. Mako-chan, I, have to ask for your help."

"What's up? Oh, is it that time? I can get the hot water bottle, run out to get more pain meds for you-"

"I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

...

...

"Huh? Haru, what-"

"My cousin is getting married. And, I may have lied to my grandparents, about dating someone, so they wouldn't try to set me up with someone. And, they want to meet her. The tickets and hotel are paid for already, just, I don't want to have to tell them I lied,,"

"Well, I wasn't planning to go anywhere but visit my sister, so I'm free for it."

"What."

"Yeah, tell me the details after dinner? The ramen is nearly done."

Makoto is secretly having a mini panic attack inside

She texts Yusuke later like "I CANT SAY MUCH BUT GOD IM GAY"

And Yusuke just texts back a photo a counter on his wall that reads "Makoto says she's gay; 1026"

The wedding is in Okinawa, where the bride is from, so they have to bring bathing suits for the beach, and, Haru does ask Makoto to help her pick which one to bring

Makoto sits there, face red, hands digging into her knees as Haru makes comments about one of them maybe making her look more chubby, maybe she should stick to a one piece-

Makoto: you're gorgeous. Every part of you. If you like how it looks on you, screw what anyone says

Haru: ...but. do you like it?

(Reminder. They are "Just Friends")

Makoto coughs a bit, looks away: y-yeah. I like it,

Haru: ...LETS PRACTICE KISSING

Makoto: R-RIGHT

Makoto *was* wearing her bathing suit top and swim shorts. Haru did get a chance to admire her muscular thighs in the shorts. She's a sucker for how muscular her roommate is

Just. When they get home and have to tell all their friends they're dating now and

Morgana, Joker's little brother, age 16: YOU WERENT TOGETHER???

Just. Man. How they were just naturally domestic from the start, and how naturally being affectionate comes to both of them, but differently than with their other friends, and

Makoto: hey, since we're "dating", does that mean I have to tell you I've slept with Ann?

Haru: you WHAT

Makoto: it was over a year ago! And Shiho knew and agreed to it!

Haru: you SLEPT WITH ANN TOO?!

Makoto: TOO?!

and they both laugh, cause they've known this, it's a bit they do, and Haru nestles back under Makoto's chin, and they go back to snuggling. They're in Makoto's bed in their apartment. It's later the night Haru asked, and, okay yeah they maybe did *it* again, but. Things feel weirdly right between them as they lie there together, softly talking out the details of the plan

Like. There's a reason so many people already thought they were dating, and why it sells so perfectly to Haru's family

I'm attached to this already dear lord

[ilikethisacompletelynormalamount]

Since Andrew is taking some well deserved time away from the public at the moment, let's revisit (or visit for the first time, if you're new here) this stunning photoshoot from Mr. Porter, October 2019, when he was doing press for Modern Love and his Ripley casting had just been announced (yes, it's taken that long for it to come out).

Mr Andrew Scott’s big brown eyes are open wide in amused disbelief. “That was not an Irish accent,” he says in his musical Irish brogue. “That was a West Country accent.” How embarrassing for an interviewer who thought to connect with her subject by lightly mocking Mr Ed Sheeran’s ­– again – not-Irish accent in his cameo in Mr Scott’s episode of Amazon’s upcoming anthology series, Modern Love. Panic sets in. “It’s all right,” he says, soothingly. “It’s all right. Accents are such funny things.”

You know what else is a funny thing? Sitting with Fleabag’s “hot priest” – 2019’s most unexpected sex symbol – in a wine bar in Bermondsey, southeast London, talking about vulnerability, romcoms and love stories. Or, to take another angle: sitting across the table from the deranged Jim Moriarty and letting him pick out a rosé. That tickles, too. Having Hamlet express the need for a mini-break in, he doesn’t know, Copenhagen? Amsterdam, maybe? Surreal.

But actually, Mr Scott, who is wearing what can only be described as a modified sweatsuit (shorts and a zip-up sweatshirt, no shirt beneath) after our photoshoot isn’t funny funny. No, Mr Scott is serious: reserved and contemplative, but with the energy of a theatre nerd who, every once in a while, rests his head in his hands, cupping his fingers around his eyes to form blinkers while he thinks about a question you’ve just asked. In this quiet wine bar. He’s not an evil murderer, an agent of a shadowy organisation, or an overly excited (wink) cleric. He’s just a nice guy who sympathises about the difficulty of parsing the subtleties of the many accents in the British Commonwealth (and beyond).

Mr Scott is still hot off his run in Fleabag, even though the show ran from March to April of this year. A few weeks ago, he received a GQ Men of the Year Award, and just a few weeks after that, was in Los Angeles at the Emmy Awards where Fleabag cleaned up, winning three awards.

Of course, this is not Mr Scott’s big break. He’s been in the business since moving from Dublin to London 20 years ago to pursue acting. His dad worked in employment, helping young people find the right careers and his mother was an art teacher. “They were definitely into following your passion and doing that for the rest of your life,” he says. “Rather than, ‘You should be a lawyer,’ or whatever the fuck.”

And this has been a year for Mr Scott’s passions. Aside from Fleabag, and an episode of Black Mirror that landed on Netflix this June, he’s making a poignant appearance in the aforementioned _Modern Love,_­ which will drop all at once on 18 October. A series of discreet episodes, each one features its own starry cast (Mr Dev Patel, Mr John Slattery, Ms Tina Fey, Ms Anne Hathaway and, of course, Mr Ed Sheeran, among others), based on the much-loved New York Times column from which it takes its name. Mr Scott’s episode, which co-stars Ms Olivia Cooke and Mr Brandon Kyle Goodman, is loosely based on an early column written by the sex-and-relationships writer Mr Dan Savage about the unusual experience he and his partner had with adoption. “It’s just a really sweet little story. It’s not about a romantic relationship,” he says, (many Modern Love entries are not). “It’s simply about the relationships between people.”

He’s also currently filming in Cardiff for the BBC TV series of His Dark Materials. And maybe there’s a Marvel movie in his future? “Oh, fuck. Completely false,” he says. “Someone said, ‘Are you going to be in a thing?’ I said, ‘No,’ and I said, ‘There have been discussions.’ And it’s like ‘Andrew Scott has been in discussions.’”

That’s what happens when suddenly everyone wants you – to use Twitter parlance – to run them over with your car. The Priest, unlike his other characters, was a sex symbol, one that wears the hell (forgive me, Father) out of a cassock. But who could be surprised that Mr Scott turned a priest into the “Hot Priest” simply by saying “kneel”? (If you don’t know what that means, stop reading now, watch the show, come back.) In fact, he has been making words positively drip with meaning for nearly a decade.

Consider Moriarty, the insane criminal puppet master Mr Scott played for six years across four seasons of the BBC’s Sherlock, opposite Mr Benedict Cumberbatch in the titular role. This particular Moriarty – Holmes’ famous nemesis, who has also been played by Messrs Orson Welles, John Huston and Sir Laurence Olivier – is indelible and utterly idiosyncratic. “If you’re going to do it, I don’t see there’s any point in doing it without putting your own stamp on it. I never look at any previous incarnations,” says Mr Scott. The result of this thinking – in Sherlock, at least – was a Moriarty who is all sing-song eeriness, molten physicality, and questionable cutaway collars. “He was quite theatrical; he was grotesque, sort of the archetypal villain,” he says. Archetypal, indeed: the role propelled him into the world of maniacal superfandom. He might not have received a dedicated stan nomenclature like his co-star (ahem, “Cumberbitches”), but the role made Mr Scott a household name.

Of course, establishing yourself as adept at playing evil incarnate probably leads to people wanting to cast you in more Moriarty-like roles. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, yeah,” he says, six times. “Yeah, exactly right,” (one more). “I turned down a lot. The shadow of that character took over for a little while.”  The craze got to be so tiresome that he asked the interviewer for a recent profile in The Guardian not to ask him about Moriarty at all (two years after he last appeared in the series). But now he sees a bigger picture, understands how being the object of abject obsession can be a good thing. “I think to answer your questions,” he says, tapping his fingers on the table, “it’s been really good fun.”

Mr Scott demurs when asked what it’s like to be the quencher of many thirsts on the internet. “People don’t say that to me. People don’t say, ‘Oh my God...” He shakes his head and trails off, perhaps in horror of what fans could be saying to him. It’s a little hard to believe that he wouldn’t be mobbed as he walks down the street. After all, one major British publication declared that Fleabag and the Priest were the only couple worth talking or tweeting about this year. (We guess Meghan and Harry, and Kim and Kanye can relax.)

“If I’m honest, it’s only really just starting to dawn on me, the global effect the show has had. People like a bit of transgression, they just do.” Any follower of his career, though, understands that it’s more than just good writing that makes him so very watchable (though good writing, is, politely, what he puts it down to). His chemistry is electric with Ms Phoebe Waller-Bridge, as it was electric with Mr Cumberbatch, and palpable even if you weren’t lucky enough to catch his rendition of Hamlet and – like this interviewer – had to watch a clip on YouTube.

Mr Scott’s character, Tobin, in Modern Love is the most subdued we might ever see him. There’s very little shouting, and none of the wide-eyed glaring that has defined his roles to date. Instead, he plays sweetly, quietly off a tiny baby, and tells goodnight stories to an adorable little girl. Perhaps this is a harbinger of softer roles to come. “I’d love to be in a romcom,” he says. “I love watching people fall in love, and how mad it is.” And yet: it was just announced that he will be playing Tom Ripley in a new adaptation of The Talented Mr Ripley. So much for avoiding the nutters.

“What always amazes me is how innocent we are as human beings,” he says, sidestepping yet another probing question about being so irresistible right now. “We are very easily manipulated by stories. If someone puts scary music behind someone and they’re told this person’s eyes are absolutely terrifying, you go: ‘Oh my God, that person is scary, and his eyes totally freak me out.’”

“But then,” he continues, “[you’re told] ‘the priest is hot, wait till you see him’. And then you look at his eyes in a very different way and it’s the manipulation of the storytelling. It literally changes your character.” Hmmm.

“The success is the writing,” he tries, again, to argue. But it’s hard to be convinced that an actor who’s hopped from one iconic character to another is simply lucky with writing. He sees he’s not getting anywhere and changes tack. “Acting is just a way of experimenting with different parts of myself. Vulnerability is something I’m really, really interested in. I think vulnerability is at the centre of every character I’ve ever played even if they don’t appear or present as vulnerable.”

Throughout this conversation, his eyes have flicked around the bar, and he pauses from time to time to comment on the other patrons. At one point, a woman is coughing so vehemently, he stops mid-sentence to remark, humorously, on whether she might be dying. Now, he spots something on the bar. “Oh my God, she’s reading Brené Brown.” We both turn to stare at the book.

“She writes a lot about vulnerability,” he explains, excited. “[Being vulnerable] is how you get ahead. I really, really strongly believe that. [Vulnerability is] strong, it’s really strong.”

Perhaps this is the secret we’ve been trying to distil about his appeal: Mr Scott uses vulnerability to bring us all into a space of fear or sadness or lust or anger with him so that every character he plays – whether it’s the hottest priest in London, a gay man in Brooklyn trying to become a father, or a murderous villain – thrums with the heartbreak that comes with being human.

“The more I work,” he continues, “the more I just think every story is in some way concerned with love – or the lack of it.” He smiles an earnest little smile and we both know this is the place to stop. “That’s the way life is,” he says. “It’s so fast and furious.”

https://www.mrporter.com/en-hk/journal/fashion/the-softer-side-of-mr-andrew-scott-1052122

[dynamoe]

still dicking around with my Triple Threat design

Bruce Timm-ish/Batman: The Animated Series-style character rendering. Some Tuxedo Mask inspiration snuck in with all the roses... maybe she throws them to initiate battling evil doers?

I actually really don't like superhero shit (tough considering the direction VBros took in later seasons), but even with my distaste I wanted to do justice to the references.

🌹 more 🌹 →

🌹 Triple Threat in the 1980s

🌹 Rose Whalen (old)

🌹 Billy's prom date

Triple Threat's costume is meant to represent a Broadway chorine, but also it's a bit like a majorette... antiquated military uniform but pantsless. Very gendered. The old-fashioned/family friendly version of sexy... but not TOO sexy.

Visual reference to both the pants-less white tie tails of Zatanna the magician of DC Comics and the stage costumes from the "burlesque" Broadway musical revue Sugar Babies

The revue starred Mickey Rooney in his Broadway debut, Ann Miller... The revue subsequently had a short-lived National tour which starred Carol Channing and Robert Morse, from August through November 1980. (Carol Channing is the model for Rose's speaking voice, obvs.)

Billy's mom as a character sucks— she's introduced as [out-of-touch old person] who becomes [smothering mother] archetype— but in just a few appearances implies potential depths not explored. She's the only canon character I've written aside from Billy & White, in a series of flashbacks to Billy's childhood with her in Boy Genius (← read it on AO3)

Based on the hair, this flashback is mid-1960s. Maybe a bit later. OG Team Venture have been painted as Jonny Quest, Doc Savage and the Fabulous Five and James Bond, but this scene has a real TV Batman '66 feel to it. Best arena for a campy Broadway-musical-themed crime-fighter.

Triple Threat would be interesting to explore in the trajectory of comic book superheroes going from Golden Age goofy to the '80s X-treme en-darkening/en-seriousning (imagine Triple Threat reimagined as a Punisher type). At the same time, her Pollyanna American Exceptionalism/Moral Purity message (that Action Man wants to soil with his filth) would get dragged through the mud as she makes "hard choices" aka being a hypocrite in service of her all-American values.

She buys into moral panics. She warns against rock and roll and drugs, despite being a Baby Boomer. She is defiantly "a square" (as well as gullible to propaganda).

Female Conservatives are fascinating as they are gross. The Anti-Feminist Feminist. She's never shown to be motivated by religious fundamentalism (she seems fine with the possibility of her son being gay), it's more insidious than that. Is she machiavellian like a super-powered Phyllis Schlafly or, like the moral panic stuff, she's really gullible to conservative messaging? I see her more as a Kissinger Neo-Con than a MAGA conspiracy rube. She's not angry or hateful in her conservativeness, just reactionary and myopic.

Another ill-defined aspect... does Triple Threat have superpowers? She can still do flying leap kicks at age 60ish which suggests she's more than just "really good at fighting." What if she had been part of some Captain America super-serum ultimate-soldier program that screws her up medically, later causing Billy's genetic birth defects? Is she filled with guilt? Angry at the government for not telling her about the side effects?

→ → More on Rose Whalen's history

all my Billy & White stuff at → FAILURES of SCIENCE index

[martius-mensis]

Username Fic Game

Tagged by the delightful @wurzelbertzwerg! Thank you? :p But yes, I enjoyed doing this. Thank you. 🧡

Rules: Take each letter of your username and rec a fic whose title starts with that same letter! Then feel free to pass it on to your friends.

Coincidentally, a great deal of these are a) spicy, but heavy with love (always), and b) a flashback to my late 2021 to 2022 fic binge reading.

M – my breath caught on yours by ninzied, Bridgerton: Four times Kate and Anthony nearly get caught, and one time they—

A – a rush of blood to the head by stutteringpeach, Vincenzo: A VCY online dating, A/B/O fic.

R – r u mine? by escapist_090807, Bridgerton: A modern AU in which Benedict and Kate are fake dating each other.

T – the curricle & the boat by wagamiller, Bridgerton: Kathony betrothal era. Literary edging, guys. LITERARY.

I – i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) by lesserfeelings, Vincenzo: Cha Young dies. Vincenzo panics. This is how her tenancy in his body begins. I kid you not, this changed me as a person and I will always be annoying about it!

U – Un Uomo di Paglia by Juliette1713, Vincenzo: A Torture ficlet. *wink*

S – Spectre by Caranya, Northanger Abbey: The one where Catherine Morland can see ghosts!

-

M – (A) Meeting Most Unsightly by cactusfinch, Bridgerton: The first time he meets Kate Sharma he is fucking Siena against a tree or The Sharmas arrive in London one year earlier. Kate and Anthony suffer through a trio of meet-uglies.

E – everybody tries to fall in love but i just keep making friends by unfraught, Anne with an E: A Shirbert modern AU answering the prompt “I really like you but you're my best friend's ex.”

N – Northanger Federated by snafsnaf, Northanger Abbey: A 1940’s AU! Kitty Morland comes to New York City to fulfill her dreams of a glamorous job and life as a plucky heroine. I love this one to bits and it made me want to read more NA fics!

S – sour by stutteringpeach, Vincenzo: A supernatural fantasy AU! Bite, blood, death. Yum.

I – i know the truth and so do you by smc_27, Vincenzo: Yesss, that Cha Young/Vinny/Luca fic. HOT but also FEELINGS. Lots of feelings. High key destroyed me.

S – statistically impossible by starkswinterfelling, Bridgerton: Anthony is gay. Simon is gay. Who isn’t gay? Not the Bridgertons.

Tagging: @penny-loaf @hydriotaphia @nire-the-mithridatist and all of you who's reading this and would like to give it a try!

[thatchronicfeeling]

It has come to my attention that it's Period Drama Appreciation Week 2023. I love period dramas and grew up watching them. They have been a formative part of my life and I'm now too disabled to watch video. Even gifs are too difficult for my brain to process. It is also Bi Visibility Week and I'm posting this on Bisexual Visibility Day. Since I can't safely post a pile of gifs, here is a list celebrating actors/characters/moments from period dramas that have been significant to my bisexuality. [Yes, this is a big list. I am missing out on watching and re-watching A Lot of awesome period dramas and I hate it. This list is helping me reclaim a bit of joy. Also I've probably forgotten some favourites and may update this.]

Lori Petty in A League of Their Own

Jodhi May in any period drama

Mary Wickes in any period drama

Freddy Honeychurch in A Room with a View

Anne Hathaway playing cricket in that rust-coloured dress in Becoming Jane

Esther Summerson (disabled heroine!) & Allan Woodcourt in Bleak House

the freshly-painted yellow cabin door swinging shut with the names 'Calam & Katie' painted on it in Calamity Jane

the sequence where Doris Day sings 'Secret Love' in Calamity Jane

Michelle in Derry Girls (and James too, a wee bit)

George Eliot & Lenore in Edgar Allan Poe's Murder Mystery Dinner Party

the moment where Emma and Mr Knightley start dancing together and it feels like you're inside the music in Emma

Polly Waker's haircut in The Enchanted April

Matthias Schoenaerts in Far From the Madding Crowd

Idgie & Ruth in Fried Green Tomatoes

Suranne Jones in Gentleman Jack

recognising Marian Lister as a bisexual who hasn't realised it yet in Gentleman Jack

Mary Agnes McNue in Godless

Bel & Freddie in The Hour

June Allyson leaping over a hedge (or is it a fence?) as Jo March in Little Women

the Patricia Rozema adaptation of Mansfield Park

the whole sequence where Judy Garland strides onto the neighbours' porch to sock The Boy Next Door in the jaw in Meet Me in St Louis

Katie the cook in Meet Me in St Louis

the moment where Benedick braces his arm against a doorframe in a desperate panic to stop Beatrice from going to eat Claudio's heart in the marketplace in Much Ado About Nothing

Denzel Washington in Much Ado About Nothing

Mr Thornton's hands (ok, and also his face) in North & South

tomboy Doris Day in On Moonlight Bay

Valentine in Parade's End

all of Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Papi in Pose

Lizzy Bennet declaring that she would never marry someone she did not love in Pride & Prejudice

Mr Darcy diving into a pond in Pride & Prejudice

both Angel and Joanne in Rent (the 2008 broadway version)

Martha the maid in The Secret Garden

Lelia Walker in Self-Made

swashbuckling Margaret Dashwood in Sense & Sensibility

the dance sequences in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

the whole Thomas Kent situation in Shakespeare in Love

Maria (when she is not a nun) in The Sound of Music

Kitty Butler onstage in Tipping the Velvet

Annie and Janette and Jacques and Linh in Treme

Audra McDonald and Anne Hathaway and Raúl Esparza in that promotional photo for Twelfth Night

Julie Andrews and her male co-star singing a version of 'Home on the Range' with the line 'and the deer and the antelope are gay' in Victor/Victoria

Justine Waddell in Wives & Daughters

[sarahivess]

WARNING: LONG RANT AND EXPLANATION

I feel like I have to stand up for myself now when I’ve seen the way some of the people in this fandom have been spreading rumors about me on Twitter.

I’m going to take this from the beginning.

//

In November, I was kinda new on Twitter. I remember seeing a tweet in my feed, it said “Let Robin say lesbian in season 5” and to me, who lives in Sweden, the word lesbian isn’t a very “bad” word. It’s actually a very common and normal word here, and we have a bunch of movies and tv-shows when lesbian girls and women simply say: I’m lesbian! So to me, I had NO IDEA that in the US, it’s seen as a “bad” word and that’s why the fans wanted her to verbally say it. I totally get that now, but I wasn’t aware back then. Silly me then made a comment, because a very cute and funny little moment popped up in my head and I felt like: AH I need to write this. It was something along with:

“Or gay, because imagine how cute it would be if Will came out as gay, and Robin would say “I’m gay too”, and then a stunned Dustin (or someone) would say “Okay, so while we’re at it - does anyone else want to come out of the closet?” And then Mike slowly raises his hand.”

I didn’t think much more about it, and the next time I logged into Twitter I had gotten like 50 qrts with: LOADS of death threats, gifs with people murdering people, people calling me lesbophobe, people mocking my grammar, my age, people saying weird things to me about Will etc. I was in such shock, I deleted the tweet right away and had a panic attack. What the hell just happened? How did that made me a lesbophobe? I’m bisexual myself, and I LOVE lesbians. I have also a bunch of wlw ships that I love. But all that shit just because I didn’t know that the word lesbian was very uncommon for americans to say in American media and how they wanted to change that.

Anyways, I deactivated my Twitter because all these horrible rumors about me triggered my suicidal thoughts (I suffer from depression), I made a new one and people figured me out right away so I changed alias and pfp/header but people still figured out it was me.

I blocked every single toxic person I came across, a few months passed and one day I was on Twitter again. This time, it was about an analysis of a scene in Stranger Things. Me and an iconic Byler here on tumblr were analysing the scene when everyone says goodbye at the end of season 3. First, Mike looked uncomfortable af when El kissed him, and later on he looked uncomfortable when she was close to him, hugging and touching and making a forehead touch. In one of the gifs, to ME it looked like the hand movement from El was kinda harsh when they made that forehead touch and I just couldn’t understand how people thought it was cute. It was a personal opinion and just a harmless analysis. Both me and this other person were also saying “Nothing against El though, she’s a kid, but I guess if the roles were reversed - if Mike would be the one to kiss El with her not kissing back, with open eyes, looking uncomfortable and shocked, I guess people would have accused him for SA or something. Not that we did, but we know that it would look a lot more bad if Mike was the one who kissed her and not vice versa simply because of the statistics. WE NEVER ACCUSED EL FOR SA. We both love her and she’s my favorite female character in the show. I just don’t like the SHIP Mlvn and I didn’t get how people thought that scene was cute. It was simply an analysis, nothing more. Not an accusation. Not a hate post. That post had over 200 likes and LOADS of reblogs with people who thought the same. But still only me and my friend were attacked. That also lead to ANOTHER accusation: of me being antisemitic. Why?

In year 2006, I first started my YouTube channel. I was very interested in learning how to edit, so thanks to tutorials I learned by myself how to edit. I was 14 years old when I read Anne Frank’s diary for the first time and I saw so much of myself in her. I also loved the way she described her relationship with Peter in the diary, so I watched “Anne Frank: The Whole Story” from 2001 and thanks to my family I could get that movie on my computer so I could make tribute videos of her since she inspired me so much, to never give up on my dreams and to ALWAYS follow my heart and believe that every person is truly good at heart. I made my own trailer for the movie, because there was none to be found on YouTube. My edits became very popular for being back in 2007, and soon loads of people found them. 90% was so happy I made these tributes, that I let the memory of her and all the people who tragically was murdered by the nazi’s back in the 30/40’s live on. But there was also a bunch of REAL antisemitics who called Anne a bunch of horrible stuff in the comments, people who claimed the holocaust never happened etc and I was defending her and the other victims for dear life. I was so proud of my edits, like I said: I was 14 years old and she was my biggest inspiration. My parents also watched these and they didn’t think they were problematic in any way so of course I trusted them and their moral.

And yes, I also made two tribute edits of her and Peter (I didn’t even knew about the term “shipping” back then) but this person on Twitter said I was making “ship edits” about Anne Frank. I have made all of my old videos private now, mostly because of the bad quality but also because of this person who now made me embarrassed of them instead. I wouldn’t make these edits today. Here’s a glimpse of one of them:

Is this antisemitic in any way?

Anyways, because of this person + a lot of others, this made me and my friend to eventually deactivate our tumblr accounts. I hade SO much going on in my personal life back then too, so this was just too much. They found out things about my family situation and that made me freak out, I was threatening them with the cops just because they were attacking and stalking me and my family on a personal level. They were harassing me on TikTok. On DM. On Twitter. People were leaving me and I felt like shit. Luckily there was a bunch who still were standing by my side through all of this and I am SO grateful for you all. Never forget that, you guys made me come back here.

Also, now when one of my tweets became popular on Twitter, of COURSE these people found me and started spreading these rumors again. I found that out from some of my friends here, sending me ss.

I just can’t fucking believe these people. All because of a silly little tweet which ended up in a total DISASTER.

End of rant. I hope at lease some of you understand.

[sparkedblaze]

“Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.” -G.K. Chesterton

⚡️Hey! I'm Sparky or Blaze or any number of nicknames you wanna give me, I'm not really particular

🏳️‍⚧️My pronouns are he/they/it, but idrc as long as you don't call me she/her ♋18+ 👍🏼Writing, math, escape rooms, logic puzzles, movies, youtube, Dr. Pepper (I have an addiction to the stuff) 👎🏼Rootbeer, bugs, slimy things, loud noises, crowds, going out in public, getting wet 💔Triggers: S/A, S/H, bugs, clowns, SPIDERS (anything with more than 6 legs shouldn't exist, and 6 is already pushing it)

🤬I curse so please use caution

Newsies Discord Server

Ask Me About X

✍🏼What/where I write: Newsies on AO3 Harry Potter Mauraders on Instagram

🎨More arty things: LinkTree Omg Newsies as Vines

🚫DNI: TERFs, -phobes, racists, anti-, yk this list could go on forever just don't be an asshole

🪭Fandoms: Newsies (1992, Live, and UKsies), Harry Potter (fuck jkr), Percy Jackson, My Hero Academia, Haikyu!!, Sk8 the Infinity, Hamilton, In the Heights, Heathers, Be More Chill, Six, 21 Chump Street, Legally Blonde the Musical, Mean Girls the Musical, 9-1-1, West Side Story, Cats the Musical, Panic There are probably more

🎶Favorite music: Age of Madness, Newsies, In the Heights, Alec Benjamin, DCOM soundtracks

🗣️Characters I can and will talk about for hours: Any newsie (but especially Albert, Elmer, Jack, Davey, Les, Mush, the Delanceys), Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Sturgis Podmore, Pandora Lovegood, Leo Valdez, Luke Castellan, Frank Zhang, Dabi, Shoto Todoroki, Iwaizumi Hajime, Nishinoya Yuu, Kojiro Nanjo (Joe), John Laurens, Pip Hamilton, Usnavi, Benny, JD, Heather Chandler, Michael Mell, Katherine Howard, Anne of Cleves, Justin Laboy, Emmett Forrest, Janis, Christopher Diaz, Athena Grant, Mouthpiece, Balkan, Baby John, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, Ray Hall, Heather Nill

🎙️Relationships you couldn't get me to stop talking about if you tried: Spralbert, Javey, Blush, Pink Flowerpatch, Xenora, Percabeth, Frazel, Hot Wings, MatchaBlossom, Lams, Boyf Riends, Buddie, NillHall

🫶🏻Mutuals:

@caw-salem Fuck u roomie 🥰

@the-lavender-lapin My babyyyyyy🩵

@noxexistant thank you for gracing my pfp with gay pryder 😭🙌🏼

@raggedy-albert My fellow Albert enthusiast 🧑🏻‍🦰

@kellyscowboy UR HCS ARE SO GOOOOOD 😍

@hexmari LOML IM GROVELING AT YOUR FEET 🙏🏼

🧐Special interests: Newsies, dinosaurs, DND

🎉Fun facts:

I play DND

I like math because I understand it almost all the time (and if I don't I can usually look it up and figure it out), words are hard

I'm in PST

I have a dog that only has 3 legs, his name is Porch

I have anxiety, depression, bipolar II

I have a lot of the symptoms of autism, but am not formally diagnosed bc I can't currently afford a therapist

🕳️Current hyperfixation: ——————————