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sugarlywhispers · 5 months ago

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b.katsuki x reader (fem) | quirkless!reader, prohero!dynamight, arranged marriage au.

a.n; fare warning, THIS IS A MONSTER<3 lol

Fuckin' Marry Me Series | First Part | Second Part |

The gentle sound of the scribble your pen makes over the paper, right where it requires your formal signature, is heard louder than you expected in that tense silence. Well, it isn't a bad silence, but more like an anxious one. One that has Bakugou, who is sitting right next to you, literally shaking his right leg up and down continuously, even though you already told him you would do this.

And what does ‘this’ mean? It means you agreed to marry Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki. To help him finally be free from his own mother's clutches.

You had a hard time believing in the whole story he told you when he knocked on your door last Sunday morning –almost tearing down the door actually– after his father died. Even though you had agreed that same day, you asked him for a few days to clear your head a bit. He accepted, respecting your space even at work, which was weird.

A normal day at work always starts with a banter with this same man right at the entrance of the company and it follows until you enter the elevator. Everyone is already used to it, so they ignore both of you. It mostly ends when you have to get off on the floor where your office is, which is one under the one where all heroes keep their hero costumes and get changed. Of course, sometimes the banter would continue if you were assigned to work with Hero Dynamight through the earbuds that connected you at a distance.

That Monday morning though, was different. Weird for everyone who looked at both of you in shock. The moment you stood in front of the other right outside the company, everyone was waiting for it to happen, yet found themselves opening their eyes wide in surprise as you and Bakugou simply bowed slightly in hello and walked towards the building in complete silence. It followed inside the elevator, where he willingly stood next to you –you always stood on each side of it to avoid even accidentally touching. Nobody could believe their eyes. Especially when it was your moment to walk out on your floor and he said, “See ya’ around”, and you turned your head towards him and slightly smiled, murmuring a timidly, “You too. Take care outside.”

That day you weren't assigned to work with him, nor the two days after –in which these same actions and words were repeated by both of you every morning– yet you could feel the whispers and gossip around about this neutral ground between you two. Your boss even called you to his office to ask if everything was okay.

You internally laughed at the situation. It was so normal for you to fight with Bakugou that everyone found it weird and worrisome if you didn't. It was actually hilarious.

Wednesday shift had you entering the office at 5 p.m. and would have you leaving at almost 3 a.m. –if the hero assigned to you didn't get caught in a villain fight around that time. So when you were about to take the elevator and its door opened, you almost bumped into a freshly showered and already leaving Bakugou Katsuki.

“Oh, hey…”

“Hey,” he answered back. Both of you took a step out of the elevator, standing right in front of each other. One of his hands flew to the back of his head, scratching it and making small droplets of his still wet hair fall as he spoke, “I was, ummm, gonna talk to you today… but, umm, your shift…”

“Oh yeah, it's night shift today,” you nodded, hands holding the strap of your bag, trying to look casual and not let the nerves be shown. “Yours finished?”

“Yeah, tomorrow's night shift for me.”

“I know, I'm with you tomorrow,” you smiled.

His eyebrows pulled up, nodding in acceptance, “Cool.”

Yours frown, tilting your head a bit to the side, “Is it? Since when?” Now that you think about it, all that neutral ground between you two was very weird. New, but weird.

He rolled his eyes, hands hiding inside the pockets of his jacket.

“Since I'm trynna marry y–”

“Shhhh! Shut it, not here!” He smirked arrogantly. Ah, there's the comeback of the old annoying Bakugou.

“I–...”

“KATSUKI!”

A screeching yell made the hairs of your arms stand in alert, completely unexpected for you. Yet for the man in front of you was a sound he was very familiar with. He grunted, his mood completely changing into anger as he turned around towards the yell.

“The fuck are you doing here, old hag?”

Oh. His mother.

You have seen her at a distance before, never actually got to meet her personally or even hear her voice –you were glad about that last particular fact though, she sounded awful.

You didn't miss to recognize the position Bakugou had you at the moment when he turned around and covered your small form behind his massive body from his mother to even acknowledge your presence there. You're grateful for his surprising and kind of sensitive tact. He's giving you an out from that, what you know for sure was going to be, a quite tense moment.

“I fucking told you, you need to hurry! I’m not fucking waiting for you any longer!” She yelled again, not caring at all about the place she was nor the people around in the lobby.

Bakugou looked to the side, taking a very deep breath before pinching his nose. His hand then hung loosely on the side of his body, but he kept opening and closing his hand in a fist. Oh wow, he was really holding himself back.

You didn't know what possessed you to do what you did or why, but you acted before thinking.

Your hand flew towards his, holding his trembling fist tightly. You knew it took him by surprise, but he hid it well by standing straighter, body still hiding you behind him. You knew for a fact that his face didn’t show any emotion other than anger, so nothing was amiss. His arm flexed behind him, bringing yours with his, as his hand opened and held yours tightly back.

This had been the very first time you willingly touched him. The first time you actually ever touched him at all. And your eyes couldn't leave the sight of his big hand fully surrounding yours, making you feel smaller than ever. I mean, you had eyes, he was a freaking hulk next to you. But the warm feeling of it enclosing yours securely made you feel safe, protected. It also felt calloused, a hand that was used every day to bring down bad guys and protect a whole nation, if not the world. Yet the warmth in it made your whole body tingle.

Fuck. What was this?

“I fuckin’ told you not to come in the first place,” he didn't need to yell, his voice sounded loud and clear even at the distance.

“HURRY THE FUCK UP!”

You tightened your hold on his hand, just to ground him in support. He sighed, returning the gesture to thank you before saying in his mother's direction, “I'm fuckin’ going, you pain in the ass”, and walked towards her, letting go of your hand.

His mother simply turned and walked in front of him outside of the building. She never realized you had been there the whole time.

The moment had been so stressful, and if that was what Bakugou had to deal with every day since he was born, damn. You actually felt sorry for him.

Thanks to the glass walls of the lobby you could watch the Bakugous walk towards the expensive car waiting for them outside. They were clearly shit-talking to each other the whole way, until before they got inside the car, his mother actually slapped the back of his head strongly. Twice.

A rising rage traveled up your body, hands closing in fists. What the fuck?! Who the fuck did she think she was? Why the hell did she need to fucking hit him like that, twice? Why the hell did she do it at all? Fuck, you were starting to believe in everything Bakugou told you about her.

“You get it now, don't you?” Izuku's voice from behind you made you jump a bit in surprise.

You cleared your throat, looking elsewhere and breathing deeply, trying to clear your head.

“I don't–”

Izuku's hand raised, making you go silent. “Before you come up with a clever excuse, let me remind you that Kacchan and I have been friends since diapers… and we talk to each other.”

His eyeing made you gulp, but his words were clear enough, “You know then.”

He nodded, hand detaining the elevator’s doors so you both could enter, him after you. “He came to my apartment right after and told me all that happened. I was at the funeral too.”

He didn't need to explain anymore, it was more than clear he was talking about last Sunday when Bakugou asked you to marry him. You knew his father had died sometime Saturday afternoon and that the funeral was held that same night. Bakugou had come to your apartment right after his father had been cremated.

“I know you two fight like cats and dogs all the time, but he's not that bad once you give him a chance. And by what you just saw, I know you understand now why he's always on the defensive.”

You sigh. Damn it, you do. Growing up in an environment like that made you think it was actually a miracle Bakugou turned out the way he did.

“I also know that you agreed to marry him to help him be finally free from his mother,” he confirmed out loud once the doors of the elevator closed and it was just the two of you in there.

“Any advice?”

He chuckled, turning his whole body and looking directly at you, “Be open-minded. Kacchan's mouth sometimes opens before he thinks and his words don't mean what he actually intended, but his actions speak louder than anything.”

You rolled your eyes. Ugh, you were feeling the stress already.

The elevator signaled that you had arrived at your floor, so you sighed, nodding in his way as an answer and walking outside. But before the doors closed, Izuku held them for a bit longer to talk again.

“Also… Be smarter.”

“Than him?” You asked confused.

“Than her.”

And with that, he let the doors close, a smile plastered on his face that told on all the mischief his eyes shined with.

This little… cheeky bastard.

The audacity.

You made a mental note to punch Izuku the next time you bumped into him. On purpose.

Throughout the rest of the day, you couldn't get that image of Bakugou being abused by his own mother out of your head. Because yes, it was fucking abuse. And in fucking public! How many times had this happened already? And why the fuck no one had ever said or done anything against it? Even when he was a kid?!

It was outrageous.

And the fact that Bakugou held himself back, because you knew he did, not only because she was his mother but also because she was a woman –and you could bet she fucking used that at her advantage– only spoke about the kind of man he was.

Bakugou Katsuki is a good man.

You took your cell phone out and searched for his contact number, your fingers flying over the keyboard.

You: Make the appointment for this Friday.

His reply didn't take long.

Bakugou K.: Done.

You took a deep breath. The decision was made. And you were not going to back out from it. Or so you hoped.

Another notification made your phone ring and it was another text message.

Bakugou K.: Thank you.

The beginning of a smile threatened to break out from your mouth as you re-read that message several times. Until the loud pip-ing that alerted a villain attack completely distracted you, or more like, brought you back to reality.

The rest of the days went faster than you expected.

The shift on Wednesday ended on time, miraculously. So at exactly 3 a.m. you were turning off your computer and putting your stuff back in your bag. You had several notifications on your phone but didn't feel like giving them your attention at that moment, choosing to concentrate on clearing your space and going back home. You let out several yawns when you got inside the elevator, holding yourself on the handrail, sleep having you on the verge of passing out tired of the stressful days. For some reason, villains chose that week to be more active than usual, which demanded more of your focus and being in constant alert mode.

When the doors finally opened on the lobby floor, you walked towards the check-in clock to mark the end of your shift. You bowed goodbye to the receptionist and walked towards the entrance of the company. For a moment, you entertained your mind with the idea of taking a taxi to get home faster. But damn it, that was expensive, and you were not going to waste money like that. And even if you wanted to, you couldn't.

You sighed, covering your neck as best as you could with your coat once you crossed the doors, and began your walk in the direction you needed to go. It was a very chilly night, but because it was Spring, you didn't expect such cold weather.

You were thinking about how you'd have to resist this coldness until you got home when you looked up and recognized Bakugou's obviously expensive car and him resting against it, arms crossed over his chest.

“What are you doing here?”

“You didn't check your messages, short-legs?”

You denied, head shaking, “I finished the shift and packed everything. Wanted to leave as soon as possible…”

He snorted, shaking his head, “Get in. I'll take you home.”

“Oh, it's okay. I can walk…”

He frowned, “The fuck you think I would be here for then? Get in the car, dumbass.”

“Geez. Okay! No need to get grumpy, asshole.”

You rounded his car towards the passenger seat and climbed in. He followed and got on the driver's side.

The inside was warm, as the heater had been on. You smiled gladly, rubbing your freezing-cold hands to warm them up faster.

“Can't believe you were planning to walk home. Are you stupid?”

You opened your mouth, ready to fire back, but Izuku's words invaded your mind.

“…Kacchan's mouth sometimes opens before he thinks and his words don't mean what he actually intended, but his actions speak louder than anything…”

You thought for a moment, and it was actually easier than you thought to figure it out. Bakugou wasn't actually trying to insult you. He was worried that you would walk home that early in the morning, when the sun wasn't even out yet, in that weather.

Oh. That changed the perspective entirely.

“Yeah, actually,” you chuckled, hands still rubbing to heat them up. “I can't afford a taxi, and the subway isn't open yet.”

He turned on the car, but his attention was on you, “What you mean you can't afford a stupid taxi? Isn't your pay–…”

You denied, body relaxing a bit over the seat thanks to the warmth as he drove smoothly. You liked warm things. Spring was your favorite season because of it.

“Contrary to common belief, Quirk & Training Specialists don't gain much.”

“What?! Why? I mean… Most of the time is thanks to your area that we heroes are fuckin’ alive.”

“Awww. Thank you for admitting it! Now, would you admit that publicly?”

“Of fuckin’ course I would!”

You smiled, “Well, you would be the first one. Tell me, do you think other heroes would willingly admit that their wins sometimes belong to a ghost that tells them what to do or where to go through their earbuds?”

Your words made him close his mouth. Aha. Touché.

You chuckled, “It's okay, Bakugou. It's my job.”

“Now that I think about it, your name is nowhere to be seen in my reports. It's not even fuckin’ mentioned as a sidekick or something.”

“That's because I'm not a sidekick. I'm just a quirkless person who is observant enough to point you the best way to go. I'm not that important…”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You looked at him, trying to decipher what he meant. He didn't mean to insult you, what he was trying to say is, “don't say that about yourself”.

Wow. Izuku was so right about that advice. You made a mental note to thank him the next time you saw him. After punching him, of course.

The rest of the car ride was silent. But not uncomfortable. The gentle sound of the heater turned on was relaxing enough to even doze you a bit, warm and content.

Bakugou didn't speak until he parked right in front of your apartment building. You immediately noticed you had probably slept the rest of the way.

“I'm sorry, I think I fell asleep.”

“You think?” He chuckled, face looking your way. You snorted back, finding his teasing funny. His crooked smile made tingles run up your arms. Or was it the heater? Yes, that probably was it, the heater.

You cleared your throat and looked down at your seat belt and untied it –wait. You didn't remember putting it on. Did he… Did he put it on you when you fell asleep? Oh, my. You gulped, feeling the tingles run all over your body again. Fuck. You needed to leave that small space you shared with this man, like… now.

But before you did, you looked back at him one more time.

“Thank you… for driving me home,” you pulled a rebellious strand of hair behind your ear and smiled. You were indeed grateful that you actually didn't have to freeze on your way home, so you bowed slightly too.

You were about to open the door when he spoke.

“Wait,” you turned back at him and watched curiously as he opened the compartment, taking out a small folder.

He pushed it in your direction and looked expectantly at you. You took it, a bit doubtful, not quite understanding what it meant.

“I said I would sign a contract if that's what you wanted. It's just a draft, but I put some items in there that I want you to check. You can add some yourself. And if we both agree, we can sign it.”

Oh. “Oh, okay… I'll check it out and let you know.”

He nodded in response and you finally got out of the car and ran through the shocking cold towards your building. Inside the elevator, you pressed the folder over your chest. This felt way more real than what you felt earlier when you made the final decision and texted him.

But something tasted a bit… bitter. Was this something you had to do on your own? Like, the marriage was between the both of you. And while it wasn’t one out of a loving relationship, it was still something that included both. This contract thing felt like something you needed to sit down and review together.

You decided then.

Your hand searched for your phone in your bag, and ignoring all the notifications, you directly made the call.

Not one ring later, he picked up the call.

“Are you o–...”

“Did you leave?” You interrupted him before he could say anything else.

“No, I'm still down here.”

“Umm, are you tired? Cause if you are we can definitely leave it for tomorrow, or better said later, but I slept through the car ride so I'm not that tired anymore, but if you think–”

“Cut the fuckin’ rambling. Go to the point, short-legs.”

You sighed, fingers sliding through your hair and pulling it back. “If you want, he can revise this now. I think it's better if we do it together.”

You heard the intake of a deep breath, a relieved one, before he said, “Yeah… Okay. I'm on my way up.” The sound of the car's door closing confirmed he was on his way.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He repeated and then ended the call.

It took you both three hours and just one heated discussion to come to terms with each of the items. Both satisfied with the consensual agreements, you brought out your laptop and rewrote it. You printed two copies, one for each, that you both signed. That's how the contract was ready and done. Now the next and final step would be the marriage in front of a judge. That Friday. In one day.

“We need two witnesses,” you reminded him, to which he grunted.

“Right, I forgot about that.”

“Well, we already know who you are picking…”

He pulled up an eyebrow, looking in your direction, “Huh? And who am I picking, know-it-all?”

You rolled your eyes, but smiled nonetheless, “Izuku.”

He tched, not admitting it out loud, but it was obvious you were right.

You chose to let it be and not cause any banter, mostly because you definitely felt more tired than a few hours back.

“Smart-ass. Then who are you picking, mmh?”

You shrugged, “I don't know. I was thinking Mina,” his groan made you chuckle, “but I think Jirou would keep a low profile better.”

“Yeah, good thinking.” You nodded in agreement. You loved Mina, and you knew he did too, but she couldn't keep things down sometimes. And one of the items was to keep a low profile throughout the whole marriage thing. Bakugou hated the press and paparazzi, and you weren't a fan of them either. Even though you had never been the center of attention of them, you actually preferred to keep it that way. On the low and as invisible as possible.

Thursday went very quiet and chill, which was very surprising considering it was Dynamight's shift. Sometimes, villains made you think they had a particular masochistic side and loved appearing whenever Pro Hero Dynamight was around. Some of them even loved to provoke him on purpose so he would yell all those obscenities towards them. And they enjoyed it. Freaks.

But not that Thursday. It had been a very peaceful one. It even found you chatting with Bakugou through the earbuds.

“So what now, ya’ gonna fuckin’ tell me Endeavor is better than All Might?”

“Oh, shut up, you All Might-obsessed-freak! I will admit All Might was huge, but you can't deny Endeavor stood his ground and made big stuff too.”

“Like fuckin’ what?”

“The fight with the nomu–”

“HA! Please! That was child's play. All Might took down AFO.”

“Yeah. But it was Deku who won against him in the end, not him. And All Might only fought twice against AFO. Endeavor killed a powerful nomu.”

“You are so fuckin’ blind!”

“You are the blind one!”

“How could you say Endeavor is better than All Might?!”

“I did not say that!”

“Wait– then what did y–?”

“I just said, Endeavor was N° 1 too. He was a Hero too. He deserves a bit of recognition.”

You could hear Bakugou’s snort, “So you like them complicated and misunderstood…”

Bakugou’s malice in his teasing was palpable, yet you always had an answer for him.

“Well… What does that say about you?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

If you had been paying attention to your surroundings, you would have noticed all your co-workers smiling at your cute banter with Bakugou. Yet you were so invested in it, you didn't notice.

Conversations that also led to getting to know each other a little bit more also happened.

“I like orange. You?”

The question took you by surprise after almost half an hour of silence from both ends. Yet, it didn't surprise you at all his preference in color. It was kind of obvious.

“Figures. It doesn't surprise me at all–”

“What the fuck does that mean?!”

“Mine is purple.”

“Why?”

“Ummm, I don't know. I always pictured that if I had become a Hero, my costume would be purple. I decided that even before I knew if I had a Quirk or not.”

You had said it in a conversational tone, never intended to make him feel some type of way. Yet, he still asked, “And is still your favorite, even after–”

“–after I found out I am quirkless? Yes. Why wouldn't it be?”

“Mmmh,” was his simple answer.

The shift ended peacefully and on time, which both of you were grateful for, considering what the following day was.

When the shift was over, you waited a considerate couple of minutes. Minutes it would take the heroes to come back from their shift to the company. Then, you got inside the elevator but instead of going down, you went one floor up.

Your phone rang with a notification.

Bakugou K.: You asked her yet?

You rolled your eyes. So impatient.

You: No, I'm about to. I'm on your floor.

Bakugou K.: Slow ass.

You still wanted to punch him, sometimes.

You put your phone back inside your bag as you walked towards the girls’ wing of the floor, completely avoiding even looking at the boys' wing way. You knocked two times before Ochako opened the door slightly to look who it was.

“Oh, hi, Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

“Hi!”

“Hello, Y/N.”

“HI BABY!!”

All the girls present that shift greeted you cheerfully, especially Mina. You greeted back while entering the room and closing the door behind you.

You chatted with all of them here and there as they got changed, not an ounce of shyness between all of you. You were friends with almost all of them, having already worked with the majority of the girls and hung out with them many times. You knew almost all about them. Their sleep faces, their ugly cries, their drunk personalities. All of it. And they knew you too. That's why you didn't need to be subtle at all when you said, “I actually need to speak with Jirou for a moment”. Everyone understood and took it nicely as they hurried a bit their way into their clothes and grabbed their stuff before leaving you two alone.

All of them knew you and Jirou had a special friendship, a close one. She was the one you always went to when you really needed to confide in someone with something deep within you. The same thing was for Jirou. You were actually the first one of all to know when Denki confessed his feelings to her, and even talked her through her own ‘secret’ feelings for him.

“What's up, buddy?” She straddled one of the benches and sat, patting the place in front of her for you to follow.

You sat in front of her crossing your legs under you, your bag actually forgotten on the floor down the bench.

“I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to keep an open mind and listen to it all before you say anything.”

She jerked her head back a bit, already feeling confused, “You're scaring me already.”

“You have no idea…” You sighed and began the tell-tale.

Her eyes kept opening wider and wider with each thing you told her about what had been happening with you and Bakugou these last days.

What it felt like probably an hour later, you finished with, “So, that's why… we are going to get married tomorrow.”

Jirou fastly stood up, almost jumping a few steps back, and pointed a finger at you.

“That's it! That's why you have been so civil to each other! I knew something was up with– WAIT,” oh yeah, you thought she hadn't quite listened to what you just said. But then it came, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Y/N!! YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING.”

You shook your head, “No, I'm not.” The calmness and firm tone in which you answered made her sidetrack tons in her own reaction, as she sat back down in front of you and took your hands in hers.

“Honey, it isn't your obligation to do any of this. You know that, right?”

You smiled, the clear worry in Jirou's eyes warming your little heart. You had such a good friend.

“I do. But I want to do this. For him.” You were sincere, and you knew Jirou could see it in your eyes too.

“Even though you don’t like each other??”

“Even though we don’t like each other.”

You repeated, but your tone was decisive. Jirou looked at you silently for a moment, then sighed and nodded.

“Okay… Whatever you choose, I'm here for and with you.” Your arms immediately surrounded her neck in a hug. She returned it gladly, patting your back in reassurance. “And if he hurts you, just tell me. I'll make him pay.”

You laughed amusingly. “I know you will. But this isn't the only thing I'm here for.”

She groaned, “There's more?! I don't know how much my heart can take...”

“Well, will it survive if I ask you to be my witness tomorrow?”

Jirou's eyes filled with tears before it was her turn to surround your neck in a tight hug.

“I'll take that as a yes,” you both giggled, hugging each other tight.

Twenty minutes later you were both leaving the building of the company and you walked her towards the motorcycle parking lot where she had hers.

“I'll text you the location in the morning.”

“Alright, I can't wait for it!” She said excitedly, but then, she looked more intently at you. “I just want to say, this thing you're doing is beyond heroic. You're literally being a Hero right now.”

Her words touched something inside you that made you want to cry like a baby. Something so deep it made you feel like floating away with the harsh galloping your heart made against your chest. It didn't make sense, yet it actually did.

You gulped looking down at your feet, strongly holding back the cry that threatened to be released right in your throat.

“You need a ride back home?” She asked, completely ignoring –for your sake and out of respect– your glassy eyes.

“I'll take her home,” Bakugou's voice in the distance surprised both of you, yet you had been expecting something like this to happen. Something told you he would be waiting you after his shift.

Jirou looked at you waiting for your approval, and when you nodded, she put on her helmet and turned on her bike. You walked towards where Bakugou was standing with Jirou riding next to you, and when she was next to him, she said, “You better take care of my friend, or I'll come for your ass, don't care you're my friend too.”

Bakugou snorted, “I know you will, Ears.” He smiled, pulling down her face shield to annoy her. She punched him friendly on the shoulder before waving and driving away.

“She said yes then.”

You both began walking towards what you thought he had parked his car. “Yep. What did Izuku say?”

He rolled his eyes, “You know he said yes.”

You smiled, “I know, I was just being friendly and asked.”

“Smart-ass.”

“I am really going to punch you again, don't tempt me.”

“Yeah… If that one punch could be considered a punch, it would be ‘again’.”

“Oh, so you do want me to…”

You tried to reach his shoulder, but this time he was fast enough to dodge it expertly. “You really are slow, huh?” He mocked walking backwards and smirking.

“You want slow, asshole…”

He laughed, turning around and running away as you ran towards him trying to catch him.

He was a stupidly fast idiot.

So now, it is Friday, and you sit right next to Bakugou Katsuki. Both of you are in front of a judge who is officially marrying you. Jirou sits on your left, while Izuku sits on Bakugou's right. And you have just finished writing your signature where the bride's one goes. Bakugou has already signed his. It isn't until you put the pen down on the table that Bakugou stops bouncing his leg and breathes in deep.

You want to laugh, finding his nerves quite funny. But you get it. This means more than just marriage to him.

It's freedom.

And you can't even imagine how nerve-racking that must feel for him. After all these years that he had to follow his mother's command and will just so he could follow his own dream, now he would be free.

That in itself brings you such a happy feeling for him.

If anyone would have ever told you that you would be doing this for none other than Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki, you would have sent them to a psychiatrist. Immediately.

Fate is a strange thing.

After the turn for the witnesses to sign, the judge says boringly, “By the authority vested in me by the government of Tokyo, I pronounce you husband and wife.”

He doesn't even wait nor expect the newlyweds to kiss or exchange rings as he closes the book and gives Bakugou the previous enrollment you both signed.

And that is it. You are officially married to Bakugou Katsuki.

“Who are you with on today's shift? What time are you out?”

His questions make you come back to reality after a quiet drive toward the company in his car, which you spend looking at the golden ring that now adorns your left hand. When you look up, the shining of the golden ring on his left hand catches your attention as he circles the steering wheel so the car turns on a corner, the company appearing in your view in the distance.

“Umm, I'm with Izuku. If everything goes well, at 3 a.m.”

“Okay. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Bakugou, it’s okay, I can walk home,” you insist for the nth time.

“Bullshit–”

“–Besides, you have morning patrol tomorrow,” you continue, completely ignoring his dirty mouth, “You can’t interrupt your sleep like this every time I have this shift. You need to be awake for your job.”

He grunts, muttering something that you can’t quite decipher what he said. You roll your eyes, thinking he acts like a petulant child sometimes.

A moment later, Bakugou enters the parking lot with his car, to which you look confused at him. Why is he entering the company on his day off?

He answers even before you can articulate your words, “I need to pick up some unfinished reports I have to turn in tomorrow.”

You pull up an eyebrow, untying the seatbelt and getting out of his car once he finally parks, “Wow. Dynamight is lacking on his paperwork?”

“Shut up, short-legs.”

You snort at his lighthearted insult as you walk together inside the company. But right when you both cross the big doors, Bakugou stops and looks at you. You frown confused, he then motions down with his head and you see his hand open, waiting. Oh, right.

Item n°2: Act like we are in a real relationship. The lawyers for the companies always investigate deeper into each hero, so that their status and validation of mental sanity are correlated.

You put your hand over his, both closing on each other, its warmth making those damn tingles run up your arm. But neither of you says anything as you walk through the lobby of the company holding hands.

Everyone who looks opens their eyes wide, one of the receptionists even spills her coffee drink out of shock. You hold yourself from laughing. Another of the receptionists looks you up and down, a clear disgusted expression on her face. Ops. Well, it’s not like you liked her either.

However, both you and Bakugou walk with your heads held high. You know how shocking and out of character the image of you both holding hands like a couple looks. And fast, everything happened so fast. You can already hear the gossip about whatever this is that you might have with Bakugou is way too fast. But you haven’t done everything you did for them. It is for him. As surprising as that sounds, even for you.

He walks with you towards the clock where you have to mark your entrance, never dropping your hand as you do. Then, you walk together to the elevator waiting for it to arrive. As you wait and look down at your shoes, you feel before you actually see his other hand moving, fingers brushing against your ear when he tugs a strand of your hair that had been over your face. Surprised, you look up at him but still smile in thanks.

Bakugou retracts his hand quickly and puts it inside the pocket of his jacket, looking back at the elevator. You would tease him for the little blush his cheeks are showing, but you decide it’s not the moment, considering how all eyes are on you two.

When it arrives and you get in, standing very close to each other while watching how everyone tries to peep inside to see if you’re still holding hands or if anything else happens between you two, you both jolt a bit when a wild and hurried Izuku suddenly enters the elevator, jacket half off and hair disheveled. He also looks in surprise at you two, eyes traveling down at your connected hands. A shit-eating grin appears on his face as the doors of the elevator close.

“Shut up.”

Bakugou and you speak at the same time.

Izuku snorts, hands in the air in a sign of surrender. “Wasn’t going to say anything…”

“I sense a ‘but’...” You roll your eyes, and Bakugou hums in agreement.

The greenette smiles wider, “But I understand now why everyone was looking like they saw All Might in person.”

Bakugou insults him, just because he always wants to have the final say, making Izuku laugh out loud amused. You decide to ignore both of them until the elevator arrives at your floor.

“Don’t blow up the elevator,” you warn them both after Izuku answers back at Bakugou, just to spite him. Your hand gives Bakugou one last squeeze in goodbye before walking out, “I’m with you today, Izuku.”

“Oh, cool! I’ll get connected in a bit.” You nod in his direction and look at Bakugou one last time, smiling and waving.

The doors close and you don’t get to see him smile back at you.

The shift, as always with Pro Hero Deku, is not calm or chill. It’s hectic and dangerous, and it keeps demanding all your focus and senses on alert.

“You know, sometimes I believe you have a magnet for trouble stuck up in your ass…” you hear Izuku spill the drink he must have been probably about to swallow. You chuckle devilishly. Wow, two times in a day you make someone spill their drink, that must be a record.

“Damn. Not twenty-four hours of being married to him, and you are already influenced.”

“Oh, shut it,” you both laugh amicably.

Again, the pip-ing of alert sounds in your computer. You sigh, “Deku, another threat five streets down where you’re at now.”

“On my way!”

“See? A magnet in your ass…” Izuku laughs.

You both don’t get to chat about another thing that is not your job again for the rest of the shift.

At exactly 3:10 a.m. you let out a tired sigh, stretching your arms above you and moving your body from side to side as gentle cracks sound from your backbone. After Deku pushes a villain inside a police car and looks at it drive away for a moment, his yawn that you hear through the earbuds passed on to you as you involuntarily copy the action.

“That was the last one. I’m going back,” you agree with him as you press the option on the system that notifies everyone on the shift that your hero is coming back to headquarters.

“Done.”

“Thanks, Y/N, great work today!”

“You did it all, buddy.”

“Oh, no! None of us heroes could do it without you. All of you, really.”

You frown, a bit surprised. I mean, Izuku is always polite and thanks you after every shift, but today feels different. Like he is purposely saying that, as if he knew someone important was listening to their connection.

“You are… welcome?” You actually don’t know what to say. He simply chuckles.

By orders from your area, you can't leave until Deku’s entered the company back again, so you use that time to finish gathering your things and closing the system.

“I'm back. Wait for me, Y/N. I'll take you home,” not longer than five minutes later Izuku says through the earbuds.

“Oh. You don't have–”

“Kacchan asked me to.”

His words shut you up. But he doesn't wait for your answer as he finally disconnects the communication.

And you're left there, frozen for a moment, assimilating his words. Bakugou asked Izuku to take you home. He asked his best friend to take care of you, even when he knew Izuku would do it or offer on his own. Izuku always rode you home when you had night shifts together. Bakugou surely knows that. Then, why even mention it to his friend? Why personally ask Izuku to help you? Because… Bakugou didn't enter the company only for his unfinished paperwork. He did it to talk to Izuku. Was this… Bakugou taking care of you because you were married? Or because he wanted to?

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clairewritesfanfics · 2 months ago

Text

Dragon!Sylus x Non-MC!Reader Part 4

Synopsis: A depressed, transmigrated fan dedicates their life worshipping their favorite character. (Because not everyone can be a badass like MC.)

A/N: Another update, because apparently, my brain will do anything except study anatomy. Part 3: here

The science of world-hopping is far from your expertise, but even with your high school-level grasp on physics, you understood the sheer miracle of getting transported into a dimension where the environment is not hostile and shares similarities with Earth’s atmosphere. Perhaps even more impressive is the fact that there is no verbal language barrier between you and Sylus.

That’s why you are currently sitting on a gold and velvet chair while he lies on his side, cheek on his knuckles, and listens to you read your worn-out copy of The Little Prince,[1] the only reading material in your bag that isn’t related to your job.

When he first saw the cover, he was unimpressed, calling the titular prince “ugly.” You didn’t blame him. When you first laid eyes on it, you also didn’t like the artstyle, but you were young and prioritized realism and beauty. When you grew older, you appreciated the unique and cute character designs.

“She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her . . . I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little strategems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her . . .”

You are about to start another chapter when you catch Sylus with his eyes closed. Chuckling, you put a detached can tab between the pages. Maybe this novella is too boring for the great fiend. You move to stand, but he pinches the material of your shirt. “What’re you doing? Why did you stop?”

“I was going to let you sleep.”

“‘m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I want to know what happens between him and the flower.”

“... fine. But if I catch you dozing off I’ll stop and you’re going to have to learn to read these words yourself.” You love this book but it is too long to be recited in one go.

As you have predicted, by the time you reach the chapter about the Businessman, a lonely and pathetic man who counts the stars and only sees them as “little glittering objects” to be possessed, your throat has become too raw and you couldn’t continue.

Fortunately, your spoiled dragon is too busy sleeping to protest. You bookmark the page and quietly set it down. “Sweet dreams.”

You take this time to find the exit, not to escape, just to know. You eventually find it. The cave opens to a cliffside overlooking a city boasting a castle that resembles a gothic Neuschwanstein Castle.

You breathe in the fresh air. Crisp and cool and not a trace of smog.

Left alone in silence, all the questions that you forced into a vault have pushed their way to the front and center of your mind.

Why were you brought here? What forces were behind this? Was it on purpose or an accident? Was this world truly real? Did you get run over by a truck, end up in a coma and now stuck in this dream? Maybe the wormhole was a convoluted way for your brain to rationalize this.

You stretch your hand toward the sky as if trying to touch the clouds. If this was a dream, then…

You close your hand.

“It doesn’t matter.”

A strong gust of wind howls at you. You grab onto the wall of the cave, almost falling over to certain death.

You raise your brows. The skies remain clear, but for a moment, it seemed like a storm was brewing.

Shaking your head, you step back inside and explore more of the cave.

That evening, Sylus awoke to see you standing over him, watching him. He had to shut his eyes again. He would sooner stick needles into his tongue than admit that you scared him for a moment.

“Did I scare you?” You tease him.

“...”

It is unnerving to have someone read him so easily.

Loathing, revulsion, disgust–he is all too used to these looks from humans. As a child, he would have done anything to have something different, something softer. He even tried to cut off his horns and tail, but nothing changed. When he grew up, he discarded such desires. A monster could never receive anything but the darkest tar of human emotion.

“Hey, can I ask a question about dragons?”

“If you’re interested in making a deal with me, don’t bother. Your soul is too…” Your greed is nothing he has ever encountered before. It is there, he can sense its weight in you, but it resembles a tamed beast. No, rather than tamed, your greed is like a wild animal that had lost hope of ever escaping its chains. As if you’ve given up hope for anything more. “You have nothing to offer me.”

“Oh, no, I don’t want to make a deal.”

He snickers. Of course. “Fine. Tell me your question.”

“Do dragons have two penises?”

“...”

“...?”

“Repeat the question for me.”

“Do dragons have two–”

“–so I wasn’t hallucinating.” He rubs his temples. “You… I have no words.”

“Is that a no?”

“Do try not to sound so disappointed. Also, I advise that you not ask this type of question to anyone, regardless of species.”

“But I’m only interested in what you have to say.”

He glances at you. There is not a hint of shame or deceit on your face. Ever since you arrived here, you have never looked at him the way others have. You always meet his gaze head on, steady, unafraid but never arrogant or angry. You told him that he reminded you of the sunset. If that were so, then you are a clear sky.

He could never stand mornings. The light makes him weak and irritates his eyes. But if he were an ordinary man, a human, would the sun that used to burn him be kind and gentle like what he was feeling right now?

You did say that you belonged to him now, so it shouldn’t matter if he gets greedy.

“Sylus?”

He stops his hand mid-air before it could reach you. “Your voice is hoarse.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

He gets up from the bed, stretching his wings. “Don’t pout. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Will you?”

He smiles. “A dragon never goes back on his word.”

He leads you to the cave’s entrance and gestures towards the black castle below. “At the foot of this mountain is Tarus City. It’s considered the lowliest of all the cities here. But its markets have a lot of interesting things. Perhaps you will even find an object that can meet your impossible standards.”

He offers you his hand and you hold it without hesitation. He stares at your fingers, small and fragile next to his claws. This is not the hand of a fighter. If he applies just a little bit more pressure, the bones would break like eggshells. He could have never imagined something so delicate would willingly approach him.

“I’m assuming that your kind cannot fly,” he says.

“You would be correct,” you reply, already knowing what he is planning as he bends over and scoops you into his arms.

“Better hold on tight then.”

His bat-like wings spread to their full length and push the two of you upward.

This scene feels exactly like a CG scene from an otome game, or even a shoujo manga, where the darling female lead wraps her arms around the male lead. But you keep your hands to yourself as Sylus soars across the moonlit night.

“You’re stiff. Got nothing smart to say?” He asks.

That steady gaze of yours remains on him. “I’m admiring the view.”

“I caught you doing the same thing while I slept. Will you get tired of it?”

“I don’t think that’s physically possible.”

“Normally, people would be admiring the scenery below. It’s not everyday a human can live like a bird.”

“I don’t need it.” This world is lovely, without a doubt, but whatever is below you is nothing compared to Sylus’s face which could be part of the Seven Wonders. Besides, you want to ingrain every one of his pores into your memory.

“We’re here.” He slows down and drops a few meters away from the city entrance.

You make no effort to hide your disappointment as he sets you on the ground.

“Did you enjoy being held by me that much?”

“Why ask when you already know the answer.” You then let out an exaggerated, playful sigh.

“Now, now. There are plenty of chances to hold each other in the future.”

“Sure, sure.” You shrug and then realize something. “Oh, wait–my clothes…”

“Don’t fret, you may end up getting some strange looks but ultimately, the citizens here have their own problems to worry about. They can’t afford to be nosy about a harmless thing like you.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go then.”

The city was designed after the word “gloom,” with a silent dread perpetually hanging over every person you pass. This place is like Gotham in medieval times.

“Your eyes are sparkling,” Sylus notes, amused at how your head swings back and forth with childlike vigor.

A normal NPC would be affected by this darkness, but not you. You find yourself wishing you had a working phone so you could take pictures. A true, obnoxious tourist.

“In my world, this type of trip wasn’t affordable to me. And even if I had the money, going on alone would’ve made me too stressed to enjoy myself.”

“Is that so?”

You rub your palms together as you admire the iron lamp post that lined the streets. “Yeah, and I would have never gotten an opportunity like this in the past.” You turn to him, beaming uncontrollably. “So thank you, Sylus.”

Sylus stops walking.

You stop too. “What is it?”

He touches his chest and opens his mouth, but no words escape. He narrows his eyes, but not at you.

“Sylus?”

He lets his arm drop to his side as he looks up at the sky. “It’s nothing.”

You silently watch him, your own face blank, then you grin. This time, your smile is subdued. “All right.”

He holds out his hand. You put yours on top and he places a pouch of coins on it.

“Feel free to look around. I have some business to attend to, it won’t be long and if you need me, just call my name. I’ll come to you, no matter what.”

“Okay.”

You watch him walk away, disappearing in the shadows. You let out a breath, the cold air fogging in front of you. “‘Nothing,’ huh.” You didn’t think it would happen so fast.

Whatever.

Deciding to do as you promised, you approach some of the stalls. You haven’t eaten anything since that pack of Pocky and since you would rather not touch the meat here, you opted for the pastries.

As you sit on a bench chewing your second pretzel, an elderly woman dressed in a black hooded robe wobbles towards you. She points an accusatory finger. “You… you are not of this world.”

Oh?

You continue to eat, ignoring her.

“You shouldn’t be here. You need to leave!” With a burst of energy, she rushes forward and clamps her hands over your shoulders, knocking the pretzel away from you.

You don’t fight back though. You keep your expression unreadable and let her ramble.

“It doesn’t want you here. You need to leave. You will doom us all…and you will die!”

“Everyone dies, though, granny. And you may end up going before me.”

She seems taken aback by your apathy. Her shock then morphs into rage. “I’m warning you! If you’re not careful, you will get killed!”

It is your turn to grab her–you hold her fingers tightly and lean forward. “Really? How does it happen? More importantly, who gets to kill me? Are their eyes as gorgeous as polished rubies? If not, then can you tell me how to get that person to kill me? I have no interest in getting murdered by anybody but him.” Your questions come after another in rapid succession.

“Answer me, granny, who kills me?”

The old woman’s legs shook and you let go. With a sigh, you retreat. “I didn’t mean to scare you, ma’am, but you should be careful when telling people about their destiny.”

“Granny!” Two little boys run towards the shaking old woman. “So you were here, mother has been looking everywhere for you.”

One of the boys bow to you. “We’re so sorry if she offended you in some way. She’s sick so please pardon her.”

You wave them off. “Apologies are not needed, but you should keep a close eye on her.”

“We will…” The boys move to help their granny walk.

“Wait.” You pick up the bag full of pastries and give it to the boy. It isn’t just the granny, all three of them are frail enough to be knocked down by a faint breeze.

“But…”

“Just take it.”

“T-thank you!”

Picking up your other purchases, you go to find a different place to wait for Sylus. You feel bad for picking on an old lady, but you wanted to see if she were an authentic fortune teller. To be honest, the information you’ve gathered can only result in an inconclusive answer because this whole “reality” could not be trusted. Still, it is better to lean into caution.

You hold your chin. That woman saying that you are “not of this world” is too specific, but this place co-exists with different species and acknowledges the existence of a metaphysical plane like the Abyss, so there is a chance that she saw your abnormal clothes and thought you were a non-human similar to Sylus. The statement doesn’t necessarily have to refer to a different reality.

It doesn’t want you here.

It.

“Killed, not die…” This is quite the pickle. “...killed…not die.”

Hm.

Hmmmmm…

You have decided.

“This is tomorrow’s problem.” You wish your future self good luck because you don't care anymore.

Before you can stand, a shady-looking man stumbled towards you, eyes glossed over and posture uneven. A drunk. “Haven’t seen you here before.”

You grab your things.

“Hey now, no need for that, I just want to… want to talk with you.”

He is a malnourished drunk so you could probably push him away, but it’s always better to avoid a confrontation.

“Hey… hey! Don’t ignore me!” He lunges forward, but is blocked by a solid wall forming between the two of you. No, not a wall.

Sylus stands in front of you. “Did you need something from my companion?”

“Huh? Who the hell are you? Don’t get in the way of our fun!” He throws a punch but your dragon dissolves his fist up to his elbow.

“Um, Sylus…” You tap your savior’s shoulder.

“Do me a favor and turn around and cover your ears, puppy. I don’t think I have the right mind to be clean about this.”

“Well, sure, but before that, I have a request. Please don’t kill him.”

He glances over to you. “You can’t be serious. If you could see and hear the… filth that he was planning to do to you…” His right eye glows dangerously. “I cannot possibly leave this garbage alone.”

“Leave? All I want is for you to keep him alive.”

Sylus pauses. “You mean–”

“–think of it as a personal request, but if you really want to kill him I won’t hold it against you.”

You are a person from the 21st century. It would be difficult to continue knowing someone died because they were related to you in some way. You are fine with them being barely alive though.

You then turn around and cover your ears. You have to hum and whisper-sing random songs to distract yourself. Even if you were happy to vote for torture, that doesn’t mean you could stomach the sound of a living creature screaming in agony.

“...making my way downtown walking fast and I’m homebound–ah.” Something warm and fluffy ends up on your shoulders.

“It’s done,” Sylus says, adjusting the cloak. “He’s still alive. The amputation was successful, all five of them.”

“Good to know–hey!”

He uses his body to block you from taking a glimpse of the carnage. The smell of rust and urine permeates the air.

“It’s an ugly sight.”

“...All right.”

“Are you not going to fight me on this?”

“It’s sweet that you remembered that I don’t like gore. I’ll trust your judgment.” Reading and watching records of criminal cases is a different experience from a real life slaughter.

“I thought I told you to call for me if you encountered trouble.” He secures the gold clasp of the cloak around your neck.

“Yes, but you arrived before I got the chance to scream. I appreciate the assist.”

He shakes his head lightly and pulls the hood over your head. “Your composure is astounding.”

“I hope your business meeting or errand went well.”

He hums in response before pinning a brooch on the left breast of your new coat.

You examine the shimmering accessory. “I’ve never seen red thorn apples before.” The primary florals are made with garnets framed by gold leaves and complemented by tiny dots of diamonds that resembled tuberose flowers.[2]

“Is it too gaudy?”

You laugh softly at his pettiness and caress the wine-red blossom. “Not at all. It’s beautiful.” You hope your customer service smile would be enough to trick him.

“Not as beautiful as my ‘polished ruby’ eyes, I hope.”

“You heard that, huh.”

“I think the whole market heard the commotion you made.”

“It was more of a kerfuffle.”

He quirks his brow.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I wanted to teach her about manners, but now I’m starting to feel guilty.” You then dramatically draw circles on your belly.

He grins and offers his hand. “Come. I’ll treat you to something delicious.”

“I refuse to eat Wanderer’s meat.” You put your hand in his. If he fed it to you then maybe you would consider partaking in technical cannibalism.

He cocks his head to the side. “You are impossible to please.”

“Really? I’d say I’m quite low maintenance.” You surprise yourself every time you say such lines. It is getting ridiculously easy to spout out these half-truths.

Important author’s notes: [1] The Little Prince is a novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. If you haven’t read it, I suggest giving it a try. The book explores the innocence of youth, loneliness and isolation, human relationships and the responsibilities and vulnerability that come with these relationships. Why does Y/N carry a pocket-sized copy with them to work? Speaking from personal experience, I like to have a good, comforting book with me when I feel sad. A security blanket of sorts.

[2] Thorn apples: Datura stramonium. Other common names are devil's trumpets, moonflowers and jimsonweed. In floriography, they mean “I dreamed of thee.” In the right doses, this plant can be used in treating various ailments. However, it has hallucinogenic properties. Tuberose: Agave amica. An expensive blossom that is used in perfume-making. These flowers can mean “dangerous pleasures.” References: Floriography - the language of Flowers. Flowers by Flourish. (2015, January 27). https://www.flowersbyflourish.com/floriography/

Fun fact, according to a post on the LoveAndDeepspace subreddit, the flowers present in the Sylus: Abyssal Blossom card are most likely thorn apples. The original poster (OP) makes a lot of good points. You can read it here.

@phisen @leryg0 @capribun @sinnamon-bunn @wegottastayfocus @erisnxxi @syyyy4ever @limerenceisserenity

Thank you to everyone taking the time to comment. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Part 5: here Masterlist: here

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rose24207 · 1 month ago

Note

can you do a one where she pranks lando like ignoring him and he kinda gets mad?

Me? Dramatic?!

Summary: You prank Lando by ignoring him to see how long it takes for him to get upset. Spoiler: it doesn’t take long

Lando x Reader

Genre: fluff, humor, a little angst

TW: pranking?

A/N: cute idea! Thanks for the request!!

Navigation

It had started as a joke, a simple prank.

You knew Lando well enough to know how much he hated being ignored—how he craved attention, especially from you. It was a harmless game at first, letting him call and text you without responding, leaving him on read while you enjoyed a quiet afternoon.

But now… as you sat there, watching him pace in your living room, the tension was growing.

You weren’t sure how far to push this.

Lando had called you multiple times, his voice getting more frustrated with each missed ring. At first, it was cute—the little text that popped up saying “Why are you ignoring me???” followed by “You okay?” and then “I’m really starting to worry.”

Then came the voice notes, growing more dramatic: “I’m not joking anymore. Call me back, please!”

You smirked, leaning back on the couch as you scrolled through your phone, completely unfazed by his increasing attempts at communication.

Your phone buzzed again, this time with a text that simply read: “Answer me, please. It’s not funny anymore.”

You bit your lip, trying not to burst out laughing.

You knew he was getting annoyed. You could hear it in his voice when he called you last.

But you didn’t expect to see him storming into the living room just moments later, his face red, his hands running through his hair as he stood in front of you.

“What the hell?” Lando huffed, his arms crossed over his chest. “Why are you doing this?”

You barely looked up from your phone, keeping up the act. “Doing what?” you asked innocently.

His eyes narrowed, and you could see his jaw tighten with frustration. “You know exactly what,” he snapped. “Ignoring me. Not answering my calls or texts.”

“Lando,” you said, setting your phone down slowly. “You’re being dramatic.”

He stepped closer to you, his voice rising slightly. “Me? Dramatic!?” His eyes were wide now, his patience wearing thin. “I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose! Are you mad at me?”

“No,” you answered too quickly, trying to hide the grin that was threatening to form on your lips. “Why would I be mad at you?”

He huffed again, his shoulders tense, looking like he was on the verge of giving up. “I don’t know, maybe because you’re giving me the silent treatment for no reason?”

The guilt started creeping in, but you were still holding your ground. “You’ve been fine. I’ve just been busy.”

“Busy? Busy doing what? You’ve been on your phone the whole time, ignoring me.” His voice cracked slightly, and you could see a flicker of hurt behind his usual teasing.

At that, you felt your resolve crack a little. You hadn’t expected him to get this upset, though part of you was secretly enjoying the way he was all worked up over it.

Lando took a deep breath, leaning down to look you in the eyes, trying to soften his expression. “Look, I get it. You’re playing some game or something, but you don’t have to do this. It’s really not funny anymore.”

You felt your heart squeeze, a mix of guilt and affection for him. You could see the stress in his eyes now, the realization that you were genuinely causing him some discomfort.

You let out a small sigh, dropping your phone on the coffee table. “Okay, okay,” you relented, a small smile creeping onto your face. “You win.”

Lando looked at you, confused. “What do you mean?”

You finally met his gaze, that playful smirk returning to your lips. “I was just messing with you,” you admitted. “It’s a prank. I was ignoring you on purpose to see how long it would take for you to get mad.”

Lando blinked, his expression shifting between disbelief and annoyance. “Are you serious?”

“I am,” you said, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing. “You’re so easy to wind up.”

He stared at you for a moment, his face a mix of irritation and relief. Then, with a sigh, he flopped down onto the couch next to you, running a hand through his hair. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know,” you said, leaning against him.

Lando let out a dramatic groan, flopping back dramatically. “I can’t believe you’ve been ignoring me for hours. I thought something happened.”

You laughed softly, brushing your hand over his arm. “It’s all part of the joke.”

Lando shook his head, still clearly annoyed, but there was no hiding the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “I’m never letting you do this again. You’re horrible.”

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.” You grinned, nudging him playfully.

“You made me think you didn’t want to talk to me,” he muttered, crossing his arms.

You raised an eyebrow. “Really? You wanted to talk to me that badly?”

Lando gave you a pointed look, but before he could respond, you leaned over and kissed him, the tension finally breaking. “I’m sorry, I won’t ignore you again.”

“You better not,” he murmured, his hand sliding to the back of your neck, pulling you closer.

“Next time, though, I’ll just prank you with a fake spider,” you said, smiling against his lips.

Lando shuddered at the thought, pulling away slightly. “If you do that, I’m leaving.”

You laughed softly, your heart racing as he pulled you back into his embrace.

And for the first time in hours, Lando was finally at peace, his anger dissipating the moment you kissed him.

But next time… he was definitely going to keep an eye on you.

Just in case.

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @ipushhimback, @ladyoflynx, @lewishamiltonismybf, @cmleitora, @hmma3 , @same1995, @amatswimming, @llando4norris, @dr3wstarkey, @hurtblossom, @ernegren, @esposamultifandom, @darleneslane

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geraskierfanficprompts · 2 months ago

Text

Prompt 149

This prompt has been filled by me! Anyone can write more interpretations and I'd love to see them, but if you're a reader, here's mine! https://archiveofourown.org/works/63921304

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An alternate universe where everything is basically the same, except for that Witchers aren't taught anything about humans, and never truly interact with any. Witchers don't go into towns for contracts. Monster contracts are posted on boards on the outer border of towns. People must check back every day to see if the contract has a knife in it. If it does, it means the witcher is either out fulfilling it, or already has. The witcher will then walk out of the forest with proof of it's kill, you gift them clothing, food, weaponry, sometimes even a steed, and back away slowly. Geralt is a witcher. And the most monstrous of them, if you were to ask him. He has sickly skin, long unnaturally white hair, and those slitted yellow eyes of his. It doesn't matter. Roach doesn't care how he looks, and that's good enough for him. He's hoping this contract will give him some new clothes. He'd even take sewing supplies. His best shirt has a big gash in the sleeve. Which wouldn't normally bother him, he could deal with it, but Roach keeps trying to nibble on it. It's a contract for a bruxa. One that's apparently been causing a lot of issues for some "count." Disrupting parties and attempting to lure people away for the slaughter. Geralt has killed her, and has her head as proof. When he approaches the board with his proof, he sees two humans waiting for him. One of them sneers in disgust, and one of them gasps in horror, tearing up. Geralt presents the head, and then holds his hand out for his reward. The older human shoves the scared one at Geralt. The scared one stumbles as he's shoved, and looks up at Geralt with big, wet blue eyes. Geralt tilts his head and turns back to the older one. That one must be the Count. "Your reward, Witcher." "F- Father!" "Silence, Julian. I don't care what you do to him." The Count turns and leaves. 'Julian' looks at Geralt with fear. Geralt is used to that. Witchers are scary. "I- I thought Witchers only hunted monsters, why did you kill Emmaline?" "...This?" Geralt asks, holding up the head, and the human gags, but nods. "It was a monster. She was a Bruxa. A type of vampire." Julian stares blankly for a moment, before he erupts into laughter. Geralt doesn't usually see or hear laughter very often. He likes when this 'Julian' laughs! Oh, but the laughing turns to sobbing. "I should've known! Of course she didn't like my bloody songs! She liked my bloody blood!" The Julian cries, and Geralt feels awkward. He doesn't quite know how to make a human happy. This would be easier if Geralt were at his camp. He doesn't like being so close to a town. He needs to be in the woods. He scoops up his (apparently) Julian, and throws him over his shoulder and walks him back to camp. Julian is now sitting by Geralt's campfire, still crying, but now it's silent. Geralt sits down beside him. Humans comfort with touch, he thinks. He doesn't truly know. He awkwardly puts his arms around Julian, and it doesn't seem to working.... Aha! Because the tears are still coming! Geralt can fix that! Geralt leans in and licks the salty water away. Julian starts laughing again, and finally relaxes. Geralt did it! He's such a good humankeeper! Having a human around is difficult, but Geralt is quite happy with this new arrangement! Geralt smiles a lot more than he used to. His human is adorable, and he's funny! And Geralt is learning so much more about humans! But sometimes that's horrifying. Geralt learned humans need to eat every day, so Geralt has begun hunting more. Julian didn't tell him this fact, Geralt had to learn it by himself when Julian fainted one day. Geralt also learned that humans are delicate things. Julian tripped over a root in the ground and ended up bleeding! BLEEDING! Geralt nearly lost it, that day. He licked his scratch clean, and bandaged his human, and kept a grip on his arm the rest of the day to balance him. They're sensitive, too.

The night had a light breeze, or so Geralt thought. Julian was shaking, teeth chattering, breaths visible. Hm. Perhaps it was colder than Geralt thought. He drags the human over, making Julian let out an odd "whoop!" sound, and wraps his arms around him. Julian scoots closer before settling, wrapping around geralt.

Humans are also curious. Too curious. Julian followed him on a hunt once and almost got hurt. Geralt shouted at him, immediately felt horrible, and apologized, but made sure to let Julian know that Julian was the one who did something stupid. Geralt thinks about getting a leash to keep his human safe at camp, but he doesn't think Julian would go for it.

His human seems happy! Until he doesn't. All of a sudden he's walking slower, and constantly frowning, and he sighs every few minutes! It's driving Geralt crazy not knowing how to fix it! He's tried all the things that have worked before! He licked him, he hugged him, he let him pet Roach, he made him a bigger portion of food, but nothing is working!

"What troubles you?" "…Hm? Oh, sorry. It's just… I wanted to be a bard. Before." "Before?" "…My father.. Sold me to you, Geralt."

Oh yeah.

"…What's a bard?" "G- Geralt, you don't know what a bard is?" "No." "Why, it's simply the best career out there! At least for me. Bards make music. They travel the continent singing their sweet melodies and sharing their feelings and hope to every townsperson out there. Farmers and nobles alike love a good bard."

Julian twitters on some more about these 'bard' titles.

"How do you become a bard?" "Well, you need an instrument. I had a lute, once. And you write songs in a notebook or journal. And all you have to do is sing them."

Thus Geralt makes a plan. Geralt goes searching for these items, loots here and there, and he believes he has a perfectly functional 'lute' and a journal. Geralt has a journal. It's too full of monsters to be given to his human, though. His human deserved one just for his songs.

When Geralt gave these items to his human, his human started sobbing. Shit! But Julian insists it's "happy" sobbing??? That's a thing? Humans will also cry when happy? Geralt will take note of this.

Geralt's Julian is MUCH happier now! And he makes such nice noises! He sings for Geralt all the time now. He strums his lute, and sings, and when he's not doing that, he's humming, and when he's not doing that, he's excitedly chatting away to Geralt, and it all makes him so happy. His human is happy! He likes his little human friend. And Geralt now knows for sure his human friend likes him back.

"Though it hurt so much at the time, I'm so very glad my father gave me to you. I've truly never been happier."

It appears Julian's last humankeepers were bad at their job, despite being humans themselves. Oh well. Doesn't matter now. Geralt would never rehome him.

Thus comes Geralt's problem. Winter is coming. He needs to head to the keep. He can keep his human alive up the path, Geralt's sure of it. He's skilled in humankeeping by now. But the actual staying part is what scares him. What if when Julian meets the other witchers, he finds one that can keep him even happier than Geralt? What if Geralt loses his Julian!? It's just unthinkable!

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mooneggtarts · 1 year ago

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Something something Radioapple Reincarnation AU... I told you I love reincarnation tropes right?... did I..???? Anyways expect more cause I have a lot of ideas for this 💥💥

Here some closeup of the comics

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #radioapple #RDAP:R AU #such a scifi looking tag for this au wkdjsj #anyways there will be fluff!! humor (if you find my sense of humor funny-) and LOTS of ANGST YOU BETCHA!!!

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aventurineswife · 6 months ago

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aventurine, sunday, and any others when reader pretends to not remember them after a bad injury hehe…[angst with fluff at the end] i love giving my poor babies heart attacks mwahaha

anyways love u and ur writings btw k byeee drink water ok byeee 💕✨

“I'm sorry, but who are you?”

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Soft Fluff, Light Humor Angst to Fluff, Established Relationship, Memory Loss, Reassurance.

Warnings: Emotional distress (brief moments of fear and confusion).

A/N: thanks for the reminder, anon! 😪😮‍💨I really need to drink some water

Aventurine's eyes widened, his usual playful smirk faltering as you looked at him, confusion clouding your gaze. He reached out, as though instinctively wanting to close the distance between you, but he hesitated. Your words cut through the air, soft and fragile.

"You… you are… who exactly?"

The words stung more than he expected. His heart raced in his chest as he observed the faint, distant look in your eyes. He had always been in control of the game, masterful in reading people, but this? This was a blow to his carefully constructed facade.

"You don’t remember me?" His voice was softer now, the bravado slipping as his pulse quickened.

You shook your head, an empty feeling creeping into your chest. "I don’t think so. Sorry… am I supposed to?"

Aventurine's smile faltered, and for a moment, you saw something raw beneath his cool exterior. Pain. Fear. He stepped back slightly, trying to hide the cracks forming in his walls.

"I suppose I’ve miscalculated…" he muttered to himself, voice barely audible.

But then, you reached out and touched his arm gently.

"I—"

Aventurine looked at you, his breath catching in his throat as you softly smiled. "I do remember you, though. Maybe I was just… testing you?"

The game was on again, but this time, it was different. He chuckled, a soft, relieved sound that made the weight of his worries lift just a little.

"You're dangerous, you know that?" he said, his voice returning to its usual lighthearted tone, though there was an underlying tenderness now.

You smiled. "I think I’ll keep you on your toes."

And with that, the shadows of doubt lifted, replaced by the warmth of your presence—one he could no longer imagine being without.

Sunday stood there, his eyes darkened with a mix of concern and confusion, staring at you as if you were a stranger. His fingers twitched slightly, an impulse to reach out, to make sure you were real, that you hadn’t slipped into some other world.

"You… you don’t recognize me?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper, fragile under the weight of his own disbelief.

You blinked at him, the blank look in your eyes unnerving him more than he cared to admit. "I’m sorry… I don’t think I do. Are we… close?"

The air between you seemed to freeze, thick with unspoken emotions. His mind was racing—how could you forget him, forget everything you had shared? The kindness, the warmth, the bond he’d built so carefully with you...

"I see," Sunday murmured, his gaze softening with a hint of sadness. "I suppose it’s a part of the dream, isn't it? To forget… to lose everything."

You could see the strain in his expression, the hope fading from his eyes. "Sunday, I… I didn’t mean to forget you."

You reached for him, your hand trembling as you touched his sleeve. The contact seemed to pull him out of his thoughts, and his breath caught.

A moment of stillness.

Then Sunday smiled faintly, the sadness still lingering. "I suppose we’ll just have to make you remember, won't we?" His voice was gentle, though you could hear the underlying fear in it.

You smiled, this time with a reassurance he needed. "I think I already do."

A sigh escaped him, a soft, grateful breath as he pulled you into his arms.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." he murmured into your hair, holding you close.

Ratio’s usual air of unshakable confidence was nowhere to be seen. He stood before you, his eyes wide with confusion and an almost frantic edge to his movements.

"You—don’t remember me?" he repeated, his voice betraying a crack he hadn’t expected.

You stared at him, trying to piece together the fragments of the world around you, the details of his appearance leaving you more unsettled than anything. "I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you."

His frown deepened, his expression unreadable but filled with something you couldn't quite place—was it hurt? Disbelief?

"I see. This is… unfortunate," he said, voice smooth yet tinged with something that didn’t fit. He folded his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing slightly. "I expected better from your memory."

You looked at him more closely, sensing a vulnerability underneath the sharpness of his demeanor. He was, despite his intellectual brilliance, losing himself in this.

You took a step closer, closing the distance between you, your hand reaching for his, gently catching his wrist. "I’m sorry… but I’m sure we’ve met before. I just—"

He paused, his sharp breath catching in his throat as he looked down at your hand on his. For a brief moment, his composure cracked, and you could see the raw emotion behind his usually controlled facade.

"Don't do this to me," he whispered, his voice barely audible, as if the weight of the situation was too much to bear. "You must remember."

You smiled softly, understanding now. "I remember. You’re the one who always insists on teaching me things."

His gaze softened instantly, a relieved exhale leaving him. "Good."

Ratio’s usual brilliance returned, but this time, there was something gentler about him. "Perhaps next time, try not to lose your memory so easily."

And though his words were sharp, his hand reached out to take yours, a reassurance that you were not lost to him.

Me lmaoo

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fmnxpl · 1 month ago

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Forget me not ♡

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x reader

Warning: Spoilers for the movie!

Word count: 1.1k

Genre: fluff, humor, and a bit of angst

Summary: Aftermath of Joaquin‘s near death experience and how you and him deal with it together.

You love Joaquin, truly you do.

From his dark brown hair down to every minor detail on him, like the small freckles on his nose that only appear when summer begins, or the moles littered around his back, which you always kissed and counted when he was feeling down or when he was asleep.

But his goddamn loud-ass snores really do it for you.

It is 2:44 a.m. on a Monday when you are very rudely pulled from a sweet dream by a loud noise.

At first, you had assumed that maybe Joaquin was having another nightmare. Those have gotten more frequent ever since his near-death experience on his mission. They always leave him shaking and thrashing around beneath the sheets, and you would always wake up to comfort and kiss him until he calmed down. Sometimes he tells you what his nightmare was about; other times, he would simply look at you with those glossy eyes that tell you he is about to cry, and your heart simply breaks. You would hold him the entire night until the early morning hours when the sun begins to rise.

As you turned onto your back to look at him, he was still peacefully asleep. One of his legs was hoisted up onto your stomach, and his right hand lay across your chest.

You mumble a few curses beneath your breath before turning your head to the side to see if you could possibly move him without waking him up so you could go pee. Turning, you were met with Joaquin's face, which was only a mere few inches away from you, with his mouth slightly ajar, eyebrows furrowed, eyes tightly closed, and snores that could whip the Titanic back to the harbor.

You remember how Joaquin’s eyes used to shine. They were so bright, so full of love, that you could never hold eye contact with him without feeling completely overwhelmed. But these days, after the mission, his eyes have changed. There's a subtle tinge of anxiety behind them. You know him better than anyone. You can see that beneath the facade of happiness—of becoming the Falcon, of finally being able to help people—there’s a growing sense of doom and fear, all because of that mission.

He’s terrified of his future, both for himself and for the one with you.

You sigh as you cradle his face and rub your fingers up and down his cheek, your finger lingering on the apple of his cheek where a new scar has formed.

Ever since that mission, scars have been scattered all over his body, and every time you found one, no matter the size or length, you would place soft kisses all over it as if that would magically take all the pain away that he had endured to even have those scars.

When he returned home after his hospital stay, you did not have the heart to stay mad at him for how he behaved. Nonetheless, you did take your sweet time yelling at him after you found out that he had initially ignored Sam's order to stand down and went headfirst into a damn missile. It didn't do much other than him kissing you softly and telling you that he would be more careful and listen to Sam more. You still weren't entirely sure if he would, but you liked to believe so.

You push his hand away from your chest carefully and onto his own chest before moving to sit on the side of the bed. A sharp exhale leaves your nose before you pull yourself up and walk toward the bathroom, where you quickly pee and wash your hands. Towel in hand, you turn to the door to return to your bed before you get startled by a hunched-over shadow at the door.

"Jesus, fuck, Joaquin," you mutter, still a bit woozy from having just woken up.

"Where ya going?" It came out slurred, but you still understood him.

You place your dry hands onto his chest, where he holds onto them just beneath where his heart lies under his ribcage, as his thumbs rub over the back of your hand and his lips press a quick kiss to your cheek. "Just needed to pee, baby. Let's go back to bed."

You try to pull him back to your bedroom, but he won't move from his place at the door. Instead, he wraps his arms around your neck and pushes you into him. His breath was so soft and quiet, you started to think he had fallen asleep holding onto you.

"Baby..." You press a soft kiss below his ear before you pull away a little to look up at him. You place your hands around the back of his neck, where you tangle your fingers with the tuft of dark hair that lies there. His hands move to lay on your hip, running over your sides. He lets out a soft hum as he smiles down at you with lazy eyes.

"You are about to fall asleep, baby. Let's go to bed." You end your sentence with a kiss on the tip of his nose before you push him into the bedroom.

You both settle back beneath the sheets as you cradle his head beneath your chin and your legs around his hips, with his hand holding your arm.

After what felt like an eternity, which in reality had been about ten minutes, you looked down at Joaquin to check if he had fallen asleep. His eyes were laser-focused on your collarbone, where he left soft kisses behind after he realized you were awake.

"You okay?" You look down at him.

"I'm fine, just got startled when I couldn't feel you anymore. Sorry." His "sorry" came out so quietly that if he wasn't directly beneath you, you would have never heard him.

Your hand runs through his hair as a soft smile grows on your face. You lean down to press a lingering kiss to his forehead before pressing your own forehead against his.

"You don't need to worry about something like that. You know that I would never leave you alone."

"You promise?" His eyes close.

"Of course I do."

#joaquin torres #joaquin x reader #joaquin torres x reader #marvel x reader #fluff #angst with a happy ending #falcon x reader #humor

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ao3demographicssurvey2024 · 9 months ago

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In the AO3 Demographics Survey 2024 - an unofficial demographics survey of 16,131 AO3 users - the three most popular genres/tags were Hurt/Comfort, Romance, and Canon Divergence, while the three least popular were Genderswap, High School AU, and Character Death.

To see more analysis, including comparisons to real fic data and previous surveys, please view the full results on AO3.

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simp-ly-writes · 8 months ago

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The Comment Section (pt.4)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You are done filming for your upcoming movie and the team think of a way to help celebrate and as you gain more and more free time, you and spencer try and spend every moment together.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, jealous!Spencer, angst, social media au, suggestive themes, attempt at comedy, slowburn, light swearing, fluff, mutual pinning, irl celebrities, friends that act like lovers, friends/lovers.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART THREE | PART 3.5 | PART 4.5

─ · · A/N: A really long part four since I am starting school again 😔 and don't know how long it will be till I can write something.

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🔔 (name)s_username just tweeted, check it out!

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(first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago Where is everyone disappearing to and why is nobody talking to me at Smosh??? 😭 I am going public with this now, I demand to know your secrets! Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark

↳ Smosh @ smosh · 3 days ago Find us (name)...

↳ first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago That didn't make this any better!

⟳ user_one reposted username01 @ user_one · 3 days ago They are really doing (name) so dirty recently. Like, give my guy/girl a break.

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🔔 Smosh Pit just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

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Sardines Hide and Seek! Can (name) Find Us?

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 132k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 500k views 3 days ago #10 on trending we have been planning this for awhile... can (name) find our secret wrap-up filming party for them before the end of the day? watch to find out!

4,101 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator (name)s_username ✓ 3 days ago And here I thought I was going to be fired. You all are so sweet for thinking of me this way, I would never have wanted a moment of it spoiled- that revel was much worth the wait! ❤️❤️ :) ▼ 200 replies ↳ Smosh Pit ✓ 3 days ago We are all forgiven once more! ↳ username47 3 days ago Watching everyone sneak around in the background of the video was too funny, everyone looked so sus! XD ↳ username20 3 days ago (name) instantly falling to their knees and crying was so fucking cute and sweet, I swear my heart exploded in my chest as everyone clapped and cheered for them. Smosh is a true family ❤️ ↳ username99 1 hour ago They really know how to play with out heart strings, I was stressing so much these past few days- must have taken them ages to plan this out, great work to the crew! ↳ username89 12 hours ago Ian standing there weirdly as (name) cries into his chest thanking him before he hands them off to Spencer was pure gold! ↳ username72 5 hours ago IKR it was so funny but you could see how much care was in Ian's eyes when he did that.

username88 just now Okay, but from now on- only wholesome things like this for awhile okay?! Us fans cannot handle much more 😭

username56 30 minutes ago Anyone else watch the original hide and seek video before this? username33 2 days ago Okay but what was Shayne trying to do in that wig??? Did they really think that would disguise them??? username69 1 day ago Spencer picking the confetti out of (name)'s hair was so sweet. username17 2 days ago 22:42 Spencer: "are you mad at us?" ... (name): "I was but my current happiness makes up for it all." ▼ 14 replies ↳ username72 5 hours ago THE WAY THEY GIGGLE TO EACH OTHER AFTERWARDS IS SENDING ME. username21 30 minutes ago That cake by the arts department was truly a work of art! Taking all those photos and scenes from (name)'s instagram was so heartfelt. username01 just now I am late to a post for once! username42 just now The comedy of having everyone disappear after (name) turns around was perfect! I wonder if it was edited or practical...

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(name)s_username i love you all so much ❤️❤️❤️

View all 1,577 comments

spennser we all love you back!

↳ username01 just spat out my drink and had to re-read that a few times before realizing I need glasses. ↳ username99 mhmm, mhmm, we know you ALL do (some more than others) /positive

ianhecox yes, good pictures but we need you back in the meeting room.

↳ (name)s_username I am running my way over boss! 🫡

sydney_sweeney I would've liked to have been invited...

↳ smoshpit we will get you on the next one! ↳ glen_powell add me to that list as well! ↳ smoshpit on it!

username67 what's with the baseball bat??? 🤣

username40 been loving all the videos you have been in!

co_mill we are all so proud of you!!

phatchance why did you have to choose that picture of me?!

↳ (name)s_username you look so cute in it! ❤️❤️

oliviasui i look so wasted lol

↳ (name)s_username don't worry i was too XD

damienhaas never knew you to be a singer...

↳ (name)s_username oi! you joined me so don't even start Damien‼️ ↳ damienhaas i was just about to say we should do karaoke with the team! 😊 ↳ (name)s_username now you have me looking bad 😭 ↳ tomeybones never thought that possible babes ↳ (name)s_username im actually running away now!

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Some Time Later...

🔔 Smosh Pit just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

─────── · ·

Eat It Or Yeet it: Desserts Edition

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 79k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 370k views 2 weeks ago today the cast tests their internal systems in eat it or yeet it!

2,222 Comments

username56 2 weeks ago It is so weird not seeing Spencer and (name) in a video together for once. ▼ 31 replies ↳ username72 2 weeks ago Okay but I kinda like seeing them interact with the other cast members, they do kinda stick together in the videos. Its cute and everything but change is nice! ↳ username22 1 week ago They say distance makes the heart grow fond... (even though he was on set watching this episode) ↳ username01 1 week ago I find it so funny that they can't seem to keep away from one another for long. ↳ username22 1 week ago IKR? so adorable, so them. ❤️❤️ username04 2 weeks ago The Shayne, (name), and Angela trio are so perfect. Their chemistry never fails to humor me! username17 1 hour ago Okay but that cake made out of mayo made me seriously gag, I could not believe that Angela managed to stomach that. 🤮 username88 5 days ago The way that they all suddenly act like founding fathers as (name) throws up in the background will never not be funny to me. username43 1 week ago (name) and Angela are so cute together, I love the way they grip one another's shoulders as they laugh like that pictures of foxes XD username10 2 days ago I love the way they all chased Garrett out of the studio afterwards with chairs and cutlery and through the office. That montage was LEGENDARY.

─────── · ·

Board AF: Monopoly Cheaters Edition

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] Like 100k | Dislike | ... 7.75M subscribers 1.1M views 2 weeks ago we all have trust issues after this episode...

4,683 Comments

username97 2 weeks ago 14:11 (name): "SPENCER!!!" a few seconds later... Spencer: "(NAME)!!!" I need their energy. ▼ 417 replies ↳ username11 2 weeks ago I feel like their little play fight on the ground together should have been blurred. ↳ username19 2 weeks ago Those pinned hands looked... personal... 😳 ↳ username84 2 weeks ago My mind went straight back to Spencers insta post some time ago, that hug still haunts me. username05 1 week ago See I love this game, now (name) and Spencer need no excuses to watch each other the whole time and do their jobs secondary /positive ▼ 2 replies ↳ username99 5 days ago I know this is a joke in all, but they are arguably the two hardest workers at Smosh with their multiple roles both in front of camera and behind alongside all their outside work. ↳ username05 4 hours ago Exactly! we love a hardworking totally-not-couple ❤️❤️ username24 30 minutes ago Been loving the content recently, keep it coming! username08 1 week ago The BTS of this video was CRAZY. ▼ 220 replies ↳ username03 4 days ago OMG WHAT HAPPENED???? don't leave us on a cliffhanger here! ↳ username36 4 days ago Yeah, tell us PLEASE!! ↳ username08 15 minutes ago Okay, OKAY! Spencer and (name) were making a number of jokes about the handcuffs and did a side-interview where they told us all the schemes they planned- makes the video execution that much better! ↳ username06 15 minutes ago I need a membership STAT. ↳ username15 just now (edited) They really do be getter bolder and bolder. I really love seeing it. EDIT: like as in (name)'s confidence, from this movie they seem more comfortable in themselves.

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(name)s_username just went on a date!

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(name)s_username for a longer caption, just want to say that I can't believe this is my last interview before the film releases, its been a journey so thank you so much Amelia for having me on your show!

↳ chickenshopdate loved having you, lets meet up again soon, but as like friends... erm... ↳ (name)s_username yes, friends- please! ↳ username01 (name) really out here worried for all their "friendships" XD

username41 I am literally counting down the days until this film comes out, I am so excited!!

anthonypadilla could you sneak in one last interview??

↳ (name)s_username let me check quickly- wait yes 100%

username25 You were amazing on bit-city last night as the bystander! Please make more videos in this character!!

spennser i've never seen you both act so awkward on camera.

↳ (name)s_username i got nervous okay! be nice 😃 ↳ chickenshopdate happens to the best of us, thats why i brought out the booze honey! ↳ spennser i mean i would be nervous too... ↳ (name)s_username ikr?! ↳ username99 and it just flies over their head 🙄

username23 i like to image Spencer putting himself in Amelia (the interviewers) shoes while watching this video.

username10 your outfit was straight fire! please can someone tell me where to get this look???

username82 i could go for a slushee now....

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We Are ALL (name) HERE.

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username66 5 days ago Who's wet dream did we just stumble into? Mine- cough cough, what?? who said that?? * [this comment has been flagged for interfering with Youtube's Community Guidelines; for more information press HERE] username01 1 week ago (edited) I like to think when studying for this role, they all stared at pictures of Spencer longingly. EDIT: HOLY SHIT, Spencer appearing part way to help the "real" (name) with their mic as they all intently watched with jealously was out-of-this-world. Like I have no words, they all knew what to do XD ▼ 220 replies ↳ username51 just now I was LOSING MY MIND over this. ↳ username17 just now I love how they all watch what the "real" name does and copies a few seconds after XD its perfect!! ↳ username20 1 hour ago YES THIS!!! Or how Amanda kept looking behind the camera at Spencer until he told them to stop but then they all did it, im dying here 🤣🤣 username37 1 week ago I love that as soon as one of them starts laughing- they all start laughing the same way XD username40 1 week ago "real" (name)'s pout and glares were too cute as they more and more annoyed as the video progressed. username88 1 week ago Whoever green lighted this video needs to be promoted. I have watched it four times now. username37 5 days ago Yes!!! More (name) content PLEASE!!! We love YOU!!! username44 When they brought out the ipad and played kiss, marry, kill with all of (name)'s co-stars was surreal. (name) is so luckyyyy!!! username27 (name) started kit: phone background of them and Spencer, random junk in their pockets, a water bottle so big you hear it crash when knocked over, and raids their friends closets. username90 (name) looked so tried and embarrassed by the end of the video, can someone on Smosh make sure to give them a hug for me? username64 This video must have been an... experience for Spencer.

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🔔 (name)s_username just added to their story, check it out!

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🔔 spennser just added to their story for the first time in awhile.

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─ · · A/N: hope you all enjoyed this extra long part! i have a couple of things pre-written that i will try and space out but seriosuly, thank you all for your continued support! really makes my day, you all are so cool ❤️❤️

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios

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fizzyapplecandy · 21 days ago

Text

Ateez as Romance Tropes

The one where Wooyoung has had enough

Other members

Wooyoung x Fem reader

Genres and warnings: best friends to lovers, Wooyung in love, angst, fluff, happy ending, mutual pining, humor, mature language

Word count: 2.8k

Your best friend is at his breaking point after you announce you're going on another date.

Wooyoung was blessed with many things in his life. A loving family, a group of friends he would literally die for, and a best friend and roommate who he loved like no one else.

You see, that blessing was also a curse, because said best friend was also the love of his life, she just wasn't aware. Wooyoung wasn't one to keep secrets, he couldn't. His mouth was bigger than the Pacific ocean, and his mates sometimes wanted to tape it to keep him silent.

Everybody loved Wooyoung, but his yapping was constant. How he managed to keep shut about his crush, he didn't know himself, but he was at a breaking point.

It took everything in him not to blurt it in front of you in the coffee shop as you were telling him about your upcoming date this weekend.

"Do you really have to go? I saw this great new movie coming out on Saturday, wanted to watch it with you." He said, trying to maintain a neutral expression.

"We'll watch it on Sunday, we always do movie night on Sundays." You replied, puzzled by his sudden interest in spending the whole week with you.

No, really, he hasn't left you alone since Monday morning, and it is Thursday now. You and Wooyoung always gave each other space, even when living together. For some reason, he managed to wiggle his way into your schedule.

"Yeah, but I'm too pumped to wait. Come one, you aren't really expecting anything to happen with this guy? He's like, what, the third one in two months?"

You didn't know how to react, but it was clear his words offended you.

"Excuse me? Since when do you keep track of my dating life?"

"Since we became friends? I have to! You never know what kind of creep you might run into!" He said, getting a bit red in the face.

You sighed, leaning back into your seat. Wooyoung has been acting a bit weird lately, but you thought he was weird regardless, so you didn't put much thought into it. Somehow, the way he was going on about this particular date didn't sit right with you.

"Woo, what's going on? Is something troubling you? Are you feeling okay?" You asked, reaching over to place your hand on top of his. He turned his palm around, interlocking your fingers. Wooyoung loved being touchy with you, with everyone really, so you got used to it pretty quickly. You didn't even think twice before reaching over for his other hand to do the same.

"I'm okay, don't worry. I just want to spend time with you. I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages."

You chuckled, watching as he pouted because of your amusement.

"Wooyoung, we live together. We see each other everyday. We brush our teeth together, we eat breakfast and dinner together. You even stay with me in my bed until I fall asleep. Are you sure that's what's concerning you?"

He didn't know what argument he could give. You were right about everything, but you just didn't realise what Wooyoung really meant. You couldn't, not without him telling you the truth.

"I... You're right, of course. Silly me. So, tell me about your date then!"

The way his mood changed so drastically should have made you question him a bit more, but again, you knew how Wooyoung was. His attention span was short, and he liked going from topic to topic until he was bored and found something else to talk about.

You gave him another look, but he just smiled and gestured for you to move on.

"Okay, if you're sure. Well... I met him last week at that new bookstore. We reached for the same novel, and I don't know, started talking. He's a sociology major, but not at our university. His name is Heesung."

He nodded along as you spoke about your little meeting with the Heesung dude, trying not to frown or pout. You went on and on about how smart he was, how you liked the same books, how you drank the exact same coffee order.

"He wants to take me out to dinner, he said the little coffee date we had didn't count. He likes doing fancy things, so we're going to that new French restaurant by the university."

"Hm... Sounds... Great! Yeah, great! So, is Hejung aware your roommate and best friend is a man?"

You frowned, knowing he purposely said his name wrong. Wooyoung did that when he disliked someone, but he didn't even know this guy.

"It's Heesung, and yes, he knows. I told him because he's going to pick me up from our place on Saturday. I didn't want him to freak out."

"Yeah, we don't want to scare poor Hejung."

You wanted to correct him again, but your phone buzzed with a text. You glanced down at it, seeing it was a message from Seonghwa about your study group in the library. You sighed, realising you haven't let go of Wooyoung's hands until you started packing your things.

"It's Heesung. I have to go, Hwa is waiting for me, I haven't even realised what time it is. See you at home!"

You placed a quick kiss on his forehead, something you always did when you said goodbye, and off you went. Wooyoung was never able to return the favour because you always moved away quickly, but he knew it was for the best. He probably wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing your lips, and that would be a disaster.

Right?

"Okay, you've got to stop eating on the coffee table, we have a kitchen for a reason!"

"Oh, relax, I'm not even making a mess!"

You sighed, watching as Wooyoung slurped his cup noddles while sitting on the floor and watching something on TV. You also noticed how the carpet didn't reach all the way to him, so he sat on the hardwood floor in his shorts.

Without a word, you grabbed a pillow from the couch and handed it to him. He looked at you confused, until you sighed again.

"Lift your butt and sit on it. You shouldn't be sitting on the floor like that."

He smiled, kind of feeling shy.

"Oh... Thanks. Grab one and sit next to me, this show is good."

You make your way over to Wooyoung, doing as he said and making yourself comfortable next to him. It wasn't unusual for him to invade your personal space, so you didn't even blink when he snuggled up to you, picking up the ramen bowl and slurping away. He stopped for a second, grabbing some noodles and offering them to you. You leaned forward and took a bite, not even noticing how he moved your hair out of the way. These actions were something you rarely paid attention to, but Wooyoung never failed to repeat them.

"So, still on for that date tomorrow?"

You choked on the noodles, looking at him wide eyed. He put a glass of water in your hands, patting you lightly on the back.

"Why are we talking about that again?" You managed to ask, gulping down the cold water.

"Because I thought you might've changed your mind. I never know what your brain is up to these days."

He tried to be nonchalant about the situation, but you could tell he was getting nervous. Wooyoung wouldn't even meet your eyes, and that was a huge thing for him.

"No, I haven't changed my mind. I don't know why you are so opposed to me going on a date. I don't say anything about your escapades!"

Now he was getting mad.

"My escapades? Have you seen me go somewhere with someone in the past, I don't know, two years? No, I don't think so."

You stopped for a second, trying to rake through your memories. It was true, Wooyoung hasn't met or talked about anyone in a long time. How did that pass up on you?

"Are you for real? Not even a one night stand?"

He shook his head, getting up and grabbing the empty ramen bowl to throw away.

"Not even that. Shocking, I know. I just... I can't."

"Is something wrong? Have you suddenly lost interest in dating? Is it not going well?"

He scoffed, leaning against the kitchen counter and watching as you approached him carefully.

"No, I haven't lost interest. And you know I can pull anyone I want, man or woman!" He pointed a finger at you, almost offended by your concern.

"Okay, lover boy. Then what's the problem?" You asked, genuinely worried something was going on with him.

"I just... I just don't want to, okay? Leave it be."

"But Woo-"

"I said enough! Just because you go on too many dates, and you can't keep track of your boy toys doesn't mean I do it too!"

Well, that stung. Did he really think about you like that? Wooyoung seemingly realised what a jerk he was, but the damage was already done.

"Is that what you think about me? Are you implying I'm..." You frowned, not knowing how to handle the situation.

"Y/N, baby... I wasn't... You know I would never..."

He was at a loss for words.

"I get it, okay. I know I've had a couple of bad dates, but I didn't even think it was that many. I just didn't think you, out of all people, would judge me."

Your sad expression made Wooyoung's heart break into pieces. Instead of trying to get onto your good graces, he fucked it up, badly.

You pointed to your bedroom, clearing your throat. Wooyoung panicked, because the look on your face told him you were about to cry, and he was the jerk who got you to this point.

"I'm... I'm gonna go to my room now, I'm kind of tired. See you in the morning."

"No, Y/N! Wait a second, I didn't-"

"It's fine, Wooyoung, everyone is entitled to their own opinion."

With that, you turned around and matched into your room, slamming the door without even realising it.

Wooyoung was left standing in the kitchen with a heart so hurt it felt like it would explode right in his chest.

The next day came, and Wooyoung felt like shit. He hasn't slept properly, and for the most part of the day you were hollowed up in your room. You got out only when you heard him go back into his.

Your dinner date with Heesung was approaching, and suddenly you didn't feel really up to it.

He was a good man, his credentials astonishing, his looks even better. He just wasn't...

You didn't even know what the hold up was. Maybe you were used to loud, rambunctious boys, always trailing after you and making you laugh until your stomach hurts.

There weren't many on the list who did that, no. There was only one you could think of right now, probably beating himself up about the way you spoke yesterday.

But Wooyoung was never an option for you, because you were best friends. Your silly little crush on him was pushed aside somewhere deep into your brain and heart, just to make living with him easier. You knew he'd never look at you like that, so you made up with the fact a long time ago.

Now, as you were putting your makeup on, you thought about what it would be like if he was the one taking you on a date, not Heesung. You'd probably be at a burger joint, after thoroughly criticizing a movie tight in the theatre. You always did that anyways, so there wouldn't be a major change.

Come to think of it, you did almost everything with Wooyoung that you would with a boyfriend, except kiss. One time, you almost did that as well, but your drunken brains somehow knew it wouldn't be right.

You curse yourself for not being spontaneous enough, because Wooyoung looked like he would've devoured you in that moment.

There's no point in thinking about it anymore, because neither of you addressed it, and life went back to normal afterwards.

Sighing, you looked at yourself in the mirror, satisfied with your outfit and hair. Heesung texted you saying he was outside, and that you could take your time if you needed. You didn't even check if Wooyoung was out of his room, wanting to get out as quickly as possible.

That's why you practically ran into him in the hallway.

"Oh, sorry."

"Yeah, no worries." You replied, trying to move around him.

"You look beautiful, Y/N."

Your head snapped up, looking into Wooyoung's eyes and seeing how tired he actually was.

"Oh God, have you slept at all? You look horrible!"

He chuckled, rubbing at his eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"Yeah, thanks. I tried... And failed obviously."

"You... Wooyoung..."

He shook his head, motioning for you to go.

"Come on, Heesung is waiting for you."

You froze, eyes going wide.

"You got his name right."

"Sorry?" He asked, confused.

"You never get the name of my date right, it's your thing. Why the sudden change?"

Wooyoung stiffened, deciding it was now or never.

"Well... I have to know the name of the man who is about to take you from me."

"What?"

He shook his head, leading you towards the door.

"Come one, off you go."

"But Woo-"

"Y/N!" He said, voice unusually calm. "You have to leave now, please. Don't make this any harder for me."

"Wooyoung, if you're implying what I think you are..."

"It wouldn't change anything now, would it?"

He asked, already making up with the fact he let you slip out of his fingers.

"Wooyoung, I'm giving you a chance to tell me before I walk out of this door. Once I do, there's nothing I can do. Please, just be honest."

Wooyoung though about his options, but he'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all, so he chose to stay silent. He was confused by your mad expression.

"Is that how it is? Fine."

You opened the front door, turning to look at him again.

"I really thought you'd man up after all these years I spent waiting."

You were gone before he realised what you said.

"So, I heard this place has really great reviews. They say we can't skip out on the deserts, so be prepared."

You smiled, albeit a bit forced, at Heesung's effort to keep the conversation alive.

The date was a disaster. Your table was nice, a window seat looking out onto the busy street. People were walking hand in hand, with big smiles in their faces. You wish that was the case with you, but the events of the evening were replaying in your mind over and over again.

"Hey, Y/N... Is this about Wooyoung?"

Your head snapped towards Heesung, eyes going wide in shock.

"What?"

He smiled, a bit sad about being right.

"You like him, right? I kind of figured it out the first time we met, but I wanted to shoot my shot."

"I... I don't know what to say."

Heesung looked over your shoulder, smiling at you again.

"I think you don't have to, somebody else will."

You looked at him confused, wondering who he was talking about.

"I've had enough! Hejung, sorry buddy, but I have to take my girl home."

Your head whipped up to see a frantic looking Wooyoung standing beside your table. You gasped, frozen in your seat.

"Wooyoung?"

He looked at you, face red and panting, probably from running towards the restaurant.

"Y/N sweetie, I'm about to pass out. So please, before I do, just tell me you love me like I love you."

You stood up, putting your arms around Wooyoung's neck and hugging him tightly.

"Oh my God, only you would do something like this. Come one, let's go before we cause a scene."

"Tell me you love me first!"

"Wooyoung!"

"Tell me!"

You sighed, glancing at Heesung who had a smile in his face.

"I love you, you idiot, now walk."

Wooyoung cheered, turning to look at the man sitting at the table.

"I lied. I'm not sorry. But it was nice meeting you!"

"No worries, nice to meet you too!"

You wanted to talk to Heesung, apologize for the inconvenience you've caused, but Wooyoung wouldn't let you go.

"I love you, Y/N. You know that now. Ah... I'm feeling so much better."

You giggled, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you close.

"I can't believe you just did that."

"Why? You know how insane I am, it's worse when it's for you. But now you're stuck with me forever!"

"That I am. Can't say I'm complaining."

Wooyoung turned to look at you, finally feeling the weight lifting off of his chest.

His girl was now where she belonged, right by his side, and he'd never let go of her.

#ateez #ateez imagines #imagine #fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez wooyoung #mature language #best friends to lovers #ateez wooyoung x reader #mild angst #humor #possesive wooyoung #mutual pining

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celestie0 · 21 days ago

Text

gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]

in holy matriphony ch8. two steps back

ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency department, just got broken up with your boyfriend of 7 years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation with him is worth any amount of money.

ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw slight age gap bc gojo in this fic is 34 n reader is 29

ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!

ᰔ chapter. 8/x

ᰔ words. 10.2k

a/n. hellooo my ihm loves! i missed you all very much. i don't have much to say here lolol but i'll see you at the end!!! hope you enjoy the first gojo pov chapter!!

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“Now see this? The little bunny ears?” Gojo says from where he’s crouched down towards the freshly-sprinkle-wet pavement of the sidewalk, his fingers pinching sparkly pink shoelace together, his view of the children’s size seven shoe obscured by his tie dangling from his neck. He would flip it over his shoulder and out of the way, but he had not one second to spare when it comes to keeping the attention of a five-year-old.

“Mhm…” Juno mumbles, nodding her head slowly as she tucks her chin to look down at the tutorial.

“Okay,” Gojo says, “just like I taught you last time, you take the bunny ears…and then cross them over like this…” He does it slowly enough to where she can follow along. And then threads one loop through the other to form a knot.

“They’re friends! The bunnies!” Juno chirps, squealing at the possibility.

“Yes, Juno, the bunnies are friends,” Gojo says.

“Are they best friends?”

“They can be whatever you want, kiddo.”

He finishes tying the shoe, and the second that he does, Juno stomps her other foot in front of him, the lining of her sole flashing bright with lights from the contact. Pink sparkly shoelace is now splayed out on the pavement once more.

Gojo levels his gaze with her, resting his elbows on his knees. “No, Juno. That’s why I showed you how to do it. You have to do the other one.”

“But! Uncle Toru! You’re faster at it.”

He sighs, hanging his head a little in defeat, some of his fringe he had slicked back for the purpose of his 12PM house showing falls over his forehead from the movement. He looks back up at Juno and she looks entirely thrilled to be stressing him out like this. “I can’t do this for you every time, kid. Your uncle’s getting old. My back hurts, and my vestibular system is degrading. I’m gonna start looking like Grandpa Lou Pickles real soon.”

She slaps her hands to her mouth, one over the other, to try and stifle that full-of-glee giggle that bubbles from her throat.

There was nothing like making a kid laugh at your own expense.

Gojo smiles at her then pushes up on his knees to stand up straight with a small huff. He smooths down his tie to lay it flat with his grey suit jacket and corrects any creases. “You’ve got it?”

She nods enthusiastically, kneeling down quickly to tie her own shoes. She makes the little bunny loops, gets confused when she crosses them over, her pinky finger somehow getting caught in the knot, but she manages to pull the laces through and makes a very uneven bow. But at least a bow, it was.

She stands up, jumps up and down with happiness, clapping her hands together saying, “yay!! I did it!!”

“Good jooooob, Juno,” Gojo says, ruffling her curly hair until she’s annoyed by it and pushes his hand away to smooth down the frizz he just created. “Now, let’s get going. You’re going to be late.”

Gojo doesn’t need to park ten minutes away from Juno’s elementary school, and force her to walk all the way to the entrance, since in theory, he could wait in the agonizing line of parent drop-offs that’ll get her off right at the gate. But some of his favorite memories when he was a kid was when his dad would walk him to school. They’d count every Volkswagen beetle that would drive by, or slugbugs as his dad used to call them, and he’d get a free pass to punch his old man in the hip every single time he saw one. Either that, or a dollar towards ice cream after school at the end of the week. He outgrew the violence by the time he got to third grade. And curiously, that’s also when he developed a sweet tooth.

The nice thing about being a realtor is that Gojo had a pretty decently flexible schedule. And although he found himself working on most weekends, since that’s when he’s able to book showings for the most part, it at least means that he has the capacity to drop his niece off at school at 10am on a random Tuesday when her parents can’t. Because he has no place he’s expected to clock in or show up to that’s against his will. But, of course, that means he’s basically their go-to contact for moments like this. Where they can’t drop her off at dance practice, pick her up from school, or keep an eye on her when she’s at home. He would never complain about it, though. Not with the way Juno blabbers his ear off during the ten-minute walks to school about all the latest happenings of Sophia the First like there was no other person in the world she’d rather share all the drama too. And also the fact that, instead of punching his hip whenever she sees a slugbug, she opts to hug his leg instead.

“Are those kids still bothering you at school?” Gojo asks her when she hops over a tiny rock.

She glances down at her shoes, the grip of her hand wrapped around Gojo’s finger weakening slightly. “No…”

“Juno, are you lying to me?”

“No!” she yells, loudly, as if she was offended by the assumption.

“You let me know if they are, okay?” Gojo says. He stops walking and pulls his finger from her grip so that she’ll stop kicking rocks and actually pay attention to what he says. She looks up at him and blinks. “I need you to know that no matter what, family will always have your back. Understood?”

Her lip quivers a little. “Yes Uncle Toru.”

Gojo takes Juno’s tiny hand in his again as the two of them continue to walk down the sidewalk and finally pass the noisy cross-section of Juno’s elementary school.

“Uh-oh…” Juno stops in her tracks suddenly once they’ve reached the courtyard in front of the main entrance where there are bustling children making their way inside the gates. She pulls her hand from Gojo’s grip before glancing up at him and twiddles with a coil of her hair. Parents are walking their children up to the walk-in zone, some giving their kids hugs and kisses goodbye. The colors all around are nauseating, with bright neons and blue and pinks and, quite frankly, hues that not a single person in the world has any business meshing together. Like barf green and mustard yellow. But chaos was comfort to the undeveloped brain.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Gojo says as he looks down at a doe-eyed Juno, turning his ear towards her because it was hard to hear her meek voice over the teachers yelling as they try to round the kids up before first period starts.

“Um…” she blinks, “I forgot my lunch moneys.”

“Oh,” Gojo says, his shoulders relaxing, then he reaches into his pocket for his wallet, pulls out a twenty dollar bill, then hands it to her, “here you go. No problem.”

Juno glances down at it, her tiny hand gentle with the paper, careful not to crease it. She looks up again. “Um. Uncle Toru.”

“Uh huh?”

“Lunch is three dollars.”

“I don’t have any ones on me, sweetheart. Just keep it. Buy one of those books from the book fair.”

Her eyes light up at that before the excitement stifles with some realization. “Oh. Um. It’s,” she counts on her fingers, “twenty-six dollars for book and my lunch.”

He fishes out another twenty, but squats down again to level his gaze with her before he hands it to her. “Your mommy didn’t give you money for the book fair?”

Juno gets shy, averting her gaze to the ground as she rubs her ankle with her other foot. “No…I wanted, um, the fairy book.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But mommy said no. That there is no money.”

“No money?”

She nods. “Mhm.”

“Okay…” He frowns. “That’s all she said to you?”

Juno nods.

“Are–” Gojo starts, but then the loud-pitched shrieking of a couple of girls towards the right cuts him off.

“Juno!!! Juno!!!” they yell, skipping up to Juno with excitement before squeezing her into a bear hug, looking like a huddle of pigtails and sparkly backpacks. Gojo stands up straight again and watches the scene unfold.

Juno, her cheeks as red as beet, smiles when they pull away from the hug and jumps up and down with them.

“She’s here! She’s here!” one of her friends exclaims.

“Hey, hey, hey, wanna trade silly bands?” the other one chirps.

Gojo lets out a slow exhale, waving a hand back to Juno when she bashfully glances over her shoulder at him as she walks towards the school entryway with her friends. He makes sure to keep an eye on her all the way until she gets through the gates, into the sea of students. He pushes his hands into his pockets, his gaze set straight ahead at the green paint outside the school, still watching Juno as she approaches the heavy double doors. There is some unsettling feeling at the base of his ribs, as if to warn about unfinished business. The feeling doesn’t pass, even when he’s satisfied at the sight of Juno making it inside school. His brow furrows slightly in concentration, but his train of thought is interrupted by a feminine voice that calls out from behind him.

“Is she yours?” he hears the voice call out, and when he turns his head to the side, he sees a woman dressed in faded mom jeans, a striped long sleeve, and black leather boots approaching him from the side.

“Oh, no,” Gojo pulls a hand out of his pocket to shake his palm in front of him, “she’s my niece.”

“Ahhh,” the woman smiles, “she’s adorable.”

“Right? Super smart, too.”

She lets out a small exhale through her nose, one that’s reminiscent of a laugh, before turning her head to look over her shoulder towards the playground where the preschoolers next door were still preoccupied by their playtime. Gojo trails her gaze to a small group of boys by the monkey bars, and he sees one of them making snow angels face-down in wet dirt. When he glances back at the woman’s face, she looks affectionately disturbed.

“That’s my Timmy,” she says, “and I really can’t say the same about him.”

He laughs. “It’s fine. I was just like that when I was a kid. He’ll grow out of it.”

“Do you have any of your own?” she asks.

“Not that I know of,” he responds.

She laughs at that. He had half expected her to roll her eyes.

“I’m Mari, by the way,” she says with a smile, smoothing her palms down the fabric over her thighs.

“Satoru,” he responds, and he doesn’t pass over the gesture of a handshake, which she seems taken aback by, but still accepts when she squeezes his hand.

“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before…” she trails off.

He squints his eyes a little to see if he can place her face too. Or maybe come up with places she may have seen him. When he runs a blank, he says, “I’m here often to drop my niece off. My sister and her husband are–” he feels that same sensation in his ribs, “pretty busy these days.” They’ve asked him to drop Juno off at school so many times by now that the moms around the place are starting to recognize him.

“That’s sweet,” she says, crossing her arms and rubbing at her elbow as she glances over at her son again. “I wish I could have help like that. They're so lucky to have you around.”

“Yeah…I should really hold it against them more often.”

She laughs. “Seriously though!” She sighs, and when he remains quiet because he can tell she’s building up to something more vulnerable, she takes the invitation to vent. “Just–...you know, it’s so hard to juggle everything. Work, the kid–”

“Yeahhh.”

“It’s like there’s just never enough hours in a day–”

“Definitely.”

“Some days it just gets so overwhelming to the point where I’m, like…like not even really a person anymore–”

“I can imagine.”

“And–” she stops to look at him, suddenly embarrassed, “I’m sorry, I think I’m just venting.”

He shakes his head at her. “You’re all good.”

She purses her lips together in thought, squinting her eyes slightly at him, before her shoulders relax. “Would you…” she starts, “like to get coffee sometime?”

“Oh, no, sorry, I’m–” he pulls his left hand up out of his pocket to hold it up in the air, but then stiffens entirely when a chill runs down his spine.

Because it wasn’t a reflex of recent events,

It was a reflex from years ago.

“You’re…?” she says, tilting her head to the side curiously as if to feign innocence of the fact that there’s a ring on his finger until she hears the words from him personally. As if the ring would vanish with enough wishful thinking.

His shoulders, tense and rigid, slowly drop back down before he breathes in deep and says, “I’m married.”

. . .

As Gojo makes his way back to the neighborhood where he parked his car, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, scrolls through his recent calls, and is surprised to find that his brother-in-law’s name is a bit higher up on the list than he thought it would be. Or wanted it to be.

He lifts the phone to his ear when he presses dial, and the phone almost rings through four times before someone finally picks it up.

“Yo! The man! The bro-in-law! What’s goin’ on, dude!” he hears Jun’s rather chirpy voice on the other line.

“Hey Jun,” Gojo says into his phone, walking down onto the residential street, “Just calling to let you know Juno’s been dropped off. I found out from one of the teachers that it’s only a half day today, though. So you’ll have to pick her up earlier.”

“Oh shoot…” Jun trails off, and Gojo can already tell what he’s about to ask of him.

Gojo likes Jun. He’s always liked the guy, actually. Although he always thought Sana would end up with someone Gojo didn’t like, as some act of defiance. But Jun was a lot different than the waste-of-space high school boyfriends Sana brought home during her teenage years (sorry if that sounds rude, it’s just that, once upon a time, Gojo used to be a waste-of-space high school boyfriend, as most teenage boys are, so he knows how awful they are and eventually grew into the conscious reasoning of loathing them). But anyway, Jun was a reliable guy. Hard-working, always seemed like he was on the hustle with his business, but he was a little unsettlingly cheerful all the time. The first expression of his that comes to mind whenever one thinks of him is a smile full of pearly white teeth and eyes squinted shut from the curve of his cheeks, but Gojo always figured it was some businessman tactic that eventually integrated into his personality as a whole.

“Do you think you could—” Jun starts.

“No, Jun, I can’t,” Gojo cuts him off, “I’m closing a sale today.”

He knows he said he could never complain about looking after Juno, but in a sense, forcing her dad to ditch a measly hour of work to show up and pick her up from school is in a way looking after her. Kids need their dads, and it’s a little sad that even just showing up is something not a lot of them care to honor.

“Ayyy that’s okay then, I’ll just figure it out,” he says, “but thanks for dropping her off this morning!”

“Sure thing.” Gojo’s phone starts ringing, and he sees he has an incoming call from one of his clients. “Hey, I’ve gotta go. But remember, her school gets out at 1:30.” And he barely hears the acknowledgement from Jun before he switches calls.

By the time Gojo wraps up his afternoon showing, and spends a couple hours putting together all the paperwork for the sale he’s closing later today, he’s starving. And he considers picking up some Thai food on his way home but then he gets a text from you.

|| 1:04PM Neighbor HerbGarden: hey I made chicken parm. would you like me to set aside a plate for you

He can’t help the smile on his face from the message, and how strangely polite it is. He’s usually the type to call someone to respond to a question they ask him through text (the worst kind of person), but instead he finds him typing back.

|| 1:05PM Gojo: Sure although I’d prefer mine without any poison please

He sees the little three dots as you type.

|| 1:06PM Neighbor HerbGarden: unfortunately I cannot make any such accommodations

And there it is again, that amused grin he can’t help. It’s uncannily similar to his days of being a waste-of-space high school boyfriend, except now he’s texting on iOS 18 instead of a Nokia brick. But also, he’s not seventeen anymore. It’s kind of dangerous that you make him feel like he is, though.

He hears his phone ping again.

|| 1:08PM Neighbor HerbGarden: also can you please pick up some orange juice from the store

|| 1:08PM Neighbor HerbGarden: without pulp

He blinks at the screen, before responding with,

|| 1:08PM Gojo: 👍👍👍

He stares at the messages for a few more seconds, then up at the blank grey contact number and your name Neighbor HerbGarden. He has a lot of numbers in his phone, from years and years of building clientele both in one of the biggest Metropolitan cities in the country, and also here in Dayton County within the past year that he’s lived here. Sometimes it was just easier and more efficient to save people in his phone as something that’ll make him remember who they actually are rather than just an arbitrary name. In one of the first times he met you, you brought him two bunches of dried oregano from your herb garden, and so he saved you in his phone as Neighbor HerbGarden to differentiate you from Neighbor BasketballHoop to his right.

Gojo presses his lips into a thin line then glances up to the sky as he stands outside of the vacant home he’s about to make major bank on today, and then clicks edit on your contact name.

He backspaces Neighbor HerbGarden then types,

Wife

He exhales slowly, then adds,

… (?)

To the end of the word.

Then shoves his phone in his pocket.

—

“God, that was delicious,” Gojo sighs as he sets the plates in the dishwasher, “I mean, seriously, you could open a restaurant. Er, actually, on second thought, probably not. Considering the natural disaster level of a mess you’ve left the kitchen in after making just one meal.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you say, and he turns around to see you standing behind him still clad in your marinara-stained apron and your hair that was once pulled taut up into a ponytail now falling loose over your shoulders. The only thing that could make the sight even sexier is if you were topless. “Now sign this,” you say, holding up a sheet of paper to his face and placing a stern fist to your hip.

He blinks at you and slowly turns the faucet off before drying his hands off on the towel while still facing you. His eyes briefly skim the top of the page which says Contract.

“Uh, what’s this?” he asks.

“Our rules.”

He doesn’t even take a second to read another single word before his eyes flit up to yours, his brow quirking. “Rules?”

“Yes,” you say, and blow a puff of air up your cheek to get the hair out of your face, “remember? No touching, no sex, no sneaking into my room, no peeping in on me in the shower, and—” You point a finger up, “New one. No. Flirting.”

His mind fixates on the word sex. “No sex? Didn’t you ask me to fuck you the other day?” he says as he leans back on the counter, an amused look on his face as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“That—” you stiffen then relax your shoulders before pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration of yourself, “I don’t recall such an event occurring.”

“Really? Well thank god I’ve got a ring camera set up in the living room.” He pretends to pull the app up on his phone.

“No!” you yell, reaching out to hold his forearm to stop him, likely through a way of distraction as his eyes flit to the curl of your fingers as you sink your nails into his skin. He quietly sucks a breath in through his teeth. “….stupid ring camera,” you mumble dejectedly, “I hate it.”

He sighs. “Baby. You’re the one that demanded I get it installed.” He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “You and your strange fear of home invasion.”

“Don’t call me baby,” you hiss at him, and it’s rather easy to see the flush to your cheeks, “that counts as flirting.” You slam the paper down onto the counter. “Now sign this.”

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, “don’t wanna.”

“Sign. It.”

“Nope, not without my lawyer present.”

“Ouuuuuu that really handsome one with the tight trousers and the sexy Benz?” you swoon cartoonishly.

He glances up at the ceiling in thought, then takes the bait. “Who needs lawyers, anyway.”

“Mhmmmmm exactly,” you hum in satisfactory agreement then wave the paper in front of his face again like he’s a dog. “So sign it.”

He hesitantly takes the sheet from you. “What good is signing a makeshift contract going to do?”

“I’m sick of people pretending like they don’t know that they’ve wronged me. So, with this contract, when you eventually wrong me, I’ll have it in writing that I specifically asked you not to.”

God damn you were kinda crazy. It was simultaneously hot and scary at the same time. I mean, he’s always known that about you; that you’re a bit differently strung than most people he’s ever met, even more so compared to the women he’s met, but there was something oddly charming and redeeming about it all too. It’s hard to explain. In the city, people are nice to your face but then fuck you over behind your back. Like, invite you over for dinner when their family is in town but then tell the principal that your kid shoved their kid at school just so that their kid gets the last spot on the T-ball team. But here in small Dayton County, people care less of the small gesture frivolities and would rather go straight into repairing your flat tire on the side of the road no questions asked, and no thanks needed, but God forbid you expect them to flash you a smile when you pass by them on the street. He kinda liked the latter, preferred the latter, and considering that you were born-and-raised here, you’re a woman who was as close to that Dayton County sentiment as anyone here could get.

He liked it though. Sure, you cuss him out often and act in ways that confuse the ever living hell out of him, but something told him that when it came down to it, and I mean really came down to it, you were someone he could trust. And trust is a feeling that’s hardly given out carelessly in this day and age.

He finally takes a better look at this contract of yours. Just a few lines of size 12pt font of Times New Roman and a numbered list with rules on it. It was a poorly put together contract of contingencies of which he knew he’d have no business following. Sure, he’s exercised self restraint up until this point, perhaps his biggest challenge thus far having been captured in 720p resolution on that Ring camera over in the other room that faces the couch, but if you kept wearing those prudish nightgowns all over the house and asked him to fuck you in the middle of a weekday one more time, he’s ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure he’d have no willpower left at that point.

He sighs and pretends to fully read all the words typed out on your contract, then flips it around so the contents face you as he holds it up. “Cross out the no flirting and we’re good.”

“I am not crossing that out.”

“If you live with me, I’m going to flirt with you. That’s just how it’s going to be.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Baby. This ask of yours is what’s borderline ridiculous.”

“Stop with the ‘baby!!!” you sneer at him and he can’t help but laugh.

He places the paper down on the surface of the island and clicks the pen, crosses out no, writes in occasional and adds is okay after the word flirting so that it reads: occasional flirting is okay. Then scribbles his signature on it.

“Here you go,” he says as he hands it back to you.

“I did not permit any addendums.”

“Look, honey, it’s the best you’re gonna get.”

He sees you scribble something down onto the page and then you hold it up for him to see.

No pet names.

“Do you agree?” you ask in a way that suggests you won’t take no for an answer.

He sighs. “Sure.”

“Good,” you say, satisfied as you stare down at the contract with approval before looking up at him again with a narrow, almost pissed-off gaze. It gets him borderline excited. “Now, are you a man of your word?”

“I hope so.”

“That’s not very reassuring. Try again.”

“It’s hard for me to say.”

“Why?”

“Well, with you, it’s hard for me to say.”

“That makes me self conscious.”

“Don’t be,” he says.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you respond, then shuffle across the hardwood floors of the kitchen into the dining room where you sit down there along with all the hospital bills you’ve had scattered there since you moved in.

He sighs, watching as you grab a stack of all your envelopes and papers and manila folders then dump them all on the kitchen island.

“Sorry,” you say, “I’m running out of space.” You turn on your heel to head back to the dining table but then spin to face him again. “And please don’t look at the bills. I’d rather pretend they don’t exist.” Then you turn the corner back to where you came from.

Gojo sighs to himself, his eyes briefly flitting down to the stack of unsorted papers you’ve left on the table. He sees scribbles of paid and to be paid and ask for itemized bill and has already been sent to collections and repeat charge all over them, wondering how in hell you manage to keep track of all this. He feels stressed on your behalf.

Something catches his eye, among all the paperwork. A tiny corner poking out from under a bill for a thirty-four-hundred dollar chemotherapy infusion. The finely printed black ink on it is hard to read, but Gojo tugs it out and holds it up at eye level.

Carevest Capital est. 2024

Invest in a healthier you!

And when he skims to the bottom, he sees CEO Jun Miller, phone: (851)-334-5555 for the contact.

His brow furrows together. He inhales deeply before shuffling his feet over to the dining hall.

“Hey,” he says, pinching the card between his index and middle finger then holding it up, “what’s this?”

You turn over to look at him, eyes wide and blinking innocently before you squint at the card. “Huh? Oh. That’s your brother-in-law’s business card. For his healthcare cost relief company.”

“He gave it to you?”

“Mhm.”

Gojo frowns. He brings the card down to look at it again. Last time he checked, Jun ran a small local auto parts repair shop. Routine stuff like cracked windshields and tinted windows, with the hopes of expanding business to a couple more places within the zip code. Gojo had never heard of any healthcare cost relief company. And he figured Jun would’ve provided some sort of proof of pay for it when Gojo helped him process the loan for their new house. It doesn’t make sense.

Gojo sighs, and chalks it up to ambition. He knows how businessmen are. A lot of his clients are like that. They always think they’ve caught the next-best-thing and want to chase it before anyone else can.

You’re still blinking at him with a mildly confused face.

He shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I wouldn’t put any money into this if I were you, though.”

You sigh and slump your shoulders. “As if I even could.” But then you turn to look at him again. “Why? You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“What? Entrusting large sums of your money to some company that promises to somehow double it and give it back? Of fucking course not.”

“You don’t trust your own brother-in-law?”

“It—” He’s a little taken aback by the question. “It’s not that I don’t. It’s just that I don’t really trust businessmen at large.”

“Aren’t you…technically a businessman?”

“What?”

You put your elbow up on the chair’s backrest and twist your torso more to look at him. “Last time I checked, you sell houses.”

“That—…that’s different.”

“Is it?”

“I’m a realtor. Not a businessman. Business people, you know, they play dirty to get what they want. I’m just helping people with a task that they don’t always have the time or resources to do.”

“You literally make up contrived skit scenarios so that your clients find houses more memorable, and also pimp yourself out to divorced housewives so they’ll follow through on a return offer. That’s no better than the way a businessman manipulates.”

“Is your opinion of me really that low?”

And he asks it with genuinity. Not laced with mirth, or faux arrogance, or a childlike desire for banter. He genuinely wants to know, after the past few weeks of getting to know each other a little bit better, if you really think of him as someone like that.

As if you felt the way his tone cut through air, setting precedent for what had otherwise felt like a neutral conversation tethering on an edge of hostility, you sit up a little straighter in your chair and your eyes are wide again as you blink at him, and he sees the shallow rise of your chest as you breathe through the movement of your marinara-stained apron.

“No,” you say, your expression softening, “it’s not.”

He’s not sure what exactly your words accomplish in him, or what reward he gained for seeking them out, if any, but he just lets out a huff of an exhale and grabs his suit jacket off the back of the chair at the head of the table, pulling his arms through the sleeves before shrugging it into place. Then he grabs his keys off the wooden surface and glances at his watch. “Alright,” he says, “that’s good to know.” Then heads towards the door.

—

“You know, Satoru, I met my wife on a military excursion to Thailand. It’s precisely why I’m ruined for all American women. The women over there, they just move with this sort of sensual grace that the women here can’t compete with.”

“Uh-huh,” Gojo barely nods in acknowledgment of his client’s words as he sits at the lonesome dining table located in the otherwise chilling vacancy of this house he’s about to hand over. “So, did you two have a chance to take a look at the walkthrough report?”

The wife curls her arm around her husband’s bicep, and from an outsider’s perspective, it would look awfully inappropriate given she looks at least twenty years younger than him, but to Gojo, it’s something he tends to see pretty often when he makes sales up in the neighborhoods of this part of town.

“Yes,” she says, smiling up at her husband, and the action alone ages her ten years from the ripples of botox visible in her cheeks, “Len and I are so ready to call this home our own.”

“What do you think of Thai women, Satoru,” Len asks him, completely ignoring any and all tasks at hand because he’s not satisfied with the low level of interest his realtor is taking to his fruitless words.

“Never been with one,” Gojo comments flatly as he flips through the closing documents and highlights whatever needs to be signed.

There’s a bitter taste in his mouth, and maybe it’s because he remembers your words from earlier. About pimping himself out or playing dirty like a businessman. Gojo’s brow furrows slightly as he stares a little excessively too long at a simple key release form. But he just feels annoyed. So what if he pretends to get along with guys like Len up until that 6% commission hits his bank account? What’s so wrong about making a living? Not everyone has to be sacred about what they do for work.

“You’re missin’ outtttt, man,” Len comments as Gojo passes all the papers over to the two of them. He only takes a quick glance at the papers before saying. Gojo taps his pen on the table as an annoyed tick, looking at the documents sitting in front of Len and thinking just sign the fuckin’ papers already, but instead, Len sets his pen down to further stall. “Why don’t we head out to lunch after this? To celebrate. I’m craving some Tom Kha Soup,” he says with an exaggerated accent, then points the pen at Gojo. “And we’ll hook you up with a nice Thai lady while we’re there.”

“I already had lunch,” he says, not even bothering to say and I’m also married because he knows the ‘already having had lunch’ excuse would hold more weight to Len than any declaration of lifelong romantic commitment.

“Bummer,” Len says, “you ate at home?”

“Yup.”

“I gotta start doing that, too, you know, eating healthier,” Len says before leaning back into his chair with a grunt. “Doctor said somethin’ to me about my cholesterol gettin’ too high and that even the statins won’t be able to save me.”

His wife looks like she’s just heard the most fantastic news ever, but conceals it with a frown, then swats a playful hand towards Gojo.

“Does your wife cook for you?” she asks cheerfully.

Technically, you’ve only offered to include him in your lunch plans two or three times so far, and coincidentally only on the days he mowed the lawn in the morning like you asked him to, but he says, “yeah, she does.” To keep things simple. But he also comes to the realization that you’re trying to Pavlov him into doing more chores around the house by feeding him ridiculously good food.

“See, Len? Some men actually appreciate their wives’ cooking.” She pretends to appear offended as she playfully smacks at her husband's chest.

“Sweetheart, you know I didn’t marry you for your cooking,” he drawls, saying it near her ear as if it were meant to be said in secret and she bashfully giggles.

For fucks sake he’s not sure how much longer of this he can take. The feeling of awkwardness as he sits on the other end of the most classic stereotypical conversation he would ever have the displeasure of hearing between a boomer and his too-young-for-him foreign wife. He wonders what you’d say if he bitched about this conversation to you. He could picture you yelling in passion about the perpetuation of the patriarchy with the disgraceful existence of predatory men like Len.

In the midst of his borderline cognitive crisis, his phone starts buzzing in his pocket.

The number looks vaguely familiar, but it’s unsaved.

“Hey, sorry you two,” he says to the couple seated across from him before he gets up out of his chair, “I’ve gotta take this.” Then excuses himself into the hallway and brings his phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hello, this is Marium calling from Rockwell Elementary, I’m looking for Mr. Gojo Satoru?”

“Yeah, speaking.”

“Oh, wonderful, thank you for taking my call. I’m just reaching out because we’re getting close to closing up the gates for school now.”

Gojo glances at his watch. 2:57PM.

“The kids got out of school about an hour and a half ago but no one has come to pick Juno up yet. She’s the last one here. We tried contacting her parents, but no one answered, so we had to reach out to her emergency contacts. Mrs. Shapiro is waiting with her, but if someone isn’t able to take her home soon, we’ll have to send her to the KinderCare on Ventura Street once the last bus comes by.”

Gojo pinches the bridge of his nose and shuts his eyes tightly. “No, I'll come pick her up. I’ll be there in ten.”

Gojo now finds himself back at his niece’s elementary school, waiting at the gate for the teacher to being her around to the courtyard. No major sale closed. His clients are going out of town tomorrow, so they had to sell today, and he’s now obligated to share some portion of his eighty-thousand dollar commission with his colleague who’s doing the favor of wrapping things up for the sale in his absence. All because Jun couldn’t even remember the time he was supposed to pick Juno up from school, even after Gojo told him twice when she’d get off. And it was safe to say he was a bit pissed.

“Uncle Toru!!!” he hears Juno’s voice chirp from a distance, and when he turns his head, he sees her running towards him, her backpack bouncing up and down in her sprint, before she crashes into Gojo’s arms as he kneels down towards the ground and wraps her arms around her.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says, then picks her up, “you ready to head home?”

Before Juno can respond, Gojo hears a man shout from the drop-off zone. He turns his head towards that direction, squints his eyes and makes out Jun’s silhouette approaching from a car that has its hazard lights turned on and he’s hastily making his way over.

“Juno!!” he waves his hand up in the air, the sound of his keys that hang from his thumb jingling as he gets closer. Gojo sets Juno down and is surprised that she doesn’t immediately run to her dad, but instead grips onto Gojo’s index finger with her whole hand and itches her ankle with the tip of her other shoe.

“Hi daddy,” she says, peering up at him underneath the roof of her baseball cap.

Jun crouches down to eye-level with her, and holds his arms out. “Hey sweetheart, how was school?”

She’s hesitant before she slowly releases her tight grip on Gojo’s finger and walks towards Jun, and accepts his embrace. “Good,” she says shallowly.

Jun sneaks a glance up at Gojo’s face, and Gojo couldn’t even hide the disappointment if he tried.

“Hey, Juno, why don’t you go sit in the car? I have Frozen playing,” he says to her, placing a kiss on her temple, and that news entirely excites Juno as she squeals with happiness then runs toward the car. Both Gojo and Jun watch her climb into the car and close the door before properly regarding each other.

“Listen, Jun, I’m just going to give it to you straight because I’m not in the mood to bullshit,” Gojo says, “I get that you’re busy, but you can’t just forget your own kid at school and leave her stranded to the point where admin have to call her emergency contacts just to get her home safely.”

“I know, I know, it’s just that—”

“I mean, last weekend you forgot what time her dance recital was and completely missed it. The one she had been practicing towards for weeks. You’ve basically asked me to drop her off at school every day for the past week and a half with no good excuse as to why. And then you do this. Like, what’s gotten into you, man?” He takes a breath to prevent his tone from turning too sharp, but when he thinks about Juno sitting all alone in a classroom with her teacher after watching all her friends get picked up with love and taken home on what was supposed to be a fun half-day for her, he feels pissed off at the negligence. “She’s a smart kid. And as proud of that as you should be, it does mean that she’s smart enough to notice these things. And it’s going to make her feel like her own dad doesn’t care about her.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry,” he says, panic on his face as the mistake settles in, “it’s just, you know, with Sana going back to work, her being occupied with the new job and everything, I dunno, I’m so used to her taking care of Juno but now that more responsibility has fallen on me, it’s really hard to manage with my businesses—” he catches himself, his eyes widening, and Gojo narrows his, “…my business.” He corrects himself.

“What could be more important than your own kid?” Gojo asks.

“Nothing. At least there shouldn’t be. You’re right.”

But even after Jun gave him the answer he expected to hear, the question still lingers in his head. Businesses. Jun is running more than just the auto parts company, at least one other one that he knows of based on what you told him regarding the business card. He just found out right now that Sana is going back to work, after about six years of being out of the workforce.

And then he recalls what Juno said to him this morning.

But mommy said no. That there is no money.

Gojo’s brows furrow, and he blinks at a very guilty-looking Jun in front of him, before his expression relaxes and the stiffness in his shoulders relax.

“Is—” Gojo starts, unsure on how to tread the question, “is everything okay?”

Jun stands up a little straighter. “Yeah. Yeah, of course,” he chirps rather unconvincingly, with that same level of faux cheerfulness he often displays.

Gojo sighs, glances over to the right. He sees the preschool next door, with its playground completely deserted, then he glances back at Jun.

“If you need help,” Gojo starts, “with anything at all,” and he sees the way Jun’s posture dampens slightly, “don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Will do, man,” Jun said, “but I’ll make sure I’ve got Juno’s school schedule in my phone so you won’t have to do this again.” And something tells Gojo that Jun is purposefully pretending as if he didn’t catch onto the fact that Gojo was referring to finances as some preservation of his pride in front of another man.

Gojo gives himself a couple seconds to consider if he should push the subject any further, but just respects the deflection, and says, “alright.”

—

God forbid a man has a drink or two during happy hour at his favorite bar to get over a rather stressful day, just to end up running into his fake wife’s ex boyfriend before he can even catch a little bit of a buzz.

Wait, that’s a lie, the first single malt was starting to flow through his veins.

And he knows you told him that he didn’t need to bother trying to make the guy jealous anymore,

But god, it was just so fun. And he could really use the entertainment right now.

“Oh every position possible, pal. Doggy, prone bone, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. Anything from the Kama Sutra. You name it, we do it,” Gojo says.

He’s seated at the far end of the high-top, his preferable location as it was away from the bustling tables and gigantic TV on top of all the kegs that’s playing the Seahawks vs 49ers semifinals game, but it’s still close enough to the bartender to make small talk when he wanted it. Up until he was interrupted by the guy to his right who’s standing with fists clenched tightly at his sides from hearing Gojo flaunt of this allegedly stellar sex life he’s got with the guy’s ex girlfriend. Truth be told, Gojo forgot his name. He tries to place it as he looks the man up and down from where he’s seated. Nappy black hair, long enough to curl at the back of his neck, wearing an obnoxiously tight black shirt, along with black leather pants.

“She doesn’t even like cowgirl,” he says defensively, “always used to say it hurts her knees.”

Fuck. Of course you have knee problems. Think, Gojo, think. “Uh, she likes it with me,” he comes up with, “she likes anything with me.”

Gojo glances up at the guy once again when he doesn’t respond back fast enough, seeing the way his jaw clenches and his hands further condense into fists at his side. The amusement of making him get all riled up quickly dissipates, as he imagined it would anyways, and instead, he almost feels sorry for him. Gojo knows exactly what he must be thinking right now. Memories of you naked that he’s preserved like holy water after the end of a seven year relationship, now morphing into visuals of you getting railed by your new husband instead, and that sweet image he has of you in his head will never be the same. Forever being ruined by another guy’s dick. It’s an intrusive thought that every man on the planet has experienced at some point or another, himself included. He’s already fucked you more in this guy’s imagination than he’s even remotely gotten close to doing in real life (well, he was partially to blame for that) but Leather Pants over here isn’t going to know that when he’s losing sleep over it at night. And now Gojo’s got guilt on his conscience. His least favorite feeling.

Ah.

Choso.

Choso Kamo.

That was his name.

Gojo glances down at his glass of scotch, trailing the line of the rim with the pad of his index finger, feeling more heat radiating off of the rage from Choso’s body than the woodfire flame of the heaters behind the high-top counter.

He sighs then glances over at Choso again, eyeing him in dim lighting. “You’ll find someone else, man,” he says, “don’t get hung up on just one person. It’s a useless kind of torture.”

He speaks as if he’s entirely detached from the sentiment.

Choso crosses his arms. “So it’s not just some scam, then? You two really are married?” He grits his teeth. “In good faith?” He mocks the law in his tone as if he doesn’t defend it.

Gojo stares blankly at the surface of wood in front of him, the color charred with black and faded with use, his expression sobering for a moment as he lets out a deep breath. His stare turns shallow, like he’s about to dissociate, and for some reason, the lie doesn’t come as easy to him this time. “You were there in the courtroom. You know the answer to that question.”

Choso huffs, and as if he couldn’t help going against his own oath to secrecy, he declares, “I’m investigating, you know. At least I will be. Collecting evidence.”

Gojo exhales, staring down at the amber liquid in his glass, before bringing the rim to his mouth and tipping some of it back.

He’s familiar with US federal law regarding marital insurance fraud. 8 U.S.C. 1033 and 18 U.S.C. 371 provide for a penalty of up to ten years in prison for it. And under that statute, perpetrators can also be expected to be fined up to $250,000. And although millions of people everyday get away with all sorts of illegal activity, he knows that there’s also millions of people everyday that don’t. That was the problem with the law in an otherwise tumultuous country. You never know how much you need to truly fear it. As if it were up to personal choice rather than any real social stature.

Truthfully, Gojo isn’t really the type to not think things through before going through with them. He’s fiscally responsible (minus his boat), tries not to get attached to places or people a little too easily, and always makes sure he knows the traffic situation ahead of time before going down Interstate 10. On the outside, he lived a rather simple life. Getting tied up into an insurance scam was certainly not the first thing he pictured for himself when he left New York City for little old Dayton County without anything other than a cabin suitcase that was mostly empty anyways. But he got invested in his rather strange neighbor who’s going through a tough time, and suddenly he’s going against everything that’s inherent to him. As previously mentioned, there is a part of him that finds it exciting. Y’know, that part that enjoys a little bit of chaos and uncertainty, that part of him that chases a thrill. That tendency to think first, act later, the one that gets people into a lot of trouble. But it’s almost like he’s been subconsciously itching for it this entire time. And maybe even for his entire life, now that he (and the alcohol) thinks about it.

But going to jail is definitely where he draws the line on adrenaline seeking.

And besides. He doesn’t want to see you fail.

He knows that to people who aren’t American, the whole idea seems so strange.

Why risk time in prison and the potential to be fined upwards of a quarter million dollars just to get healthcare for you and your loved ones?

But it’s only because that risk of consequence hardly rivals the reality of the situation anyways.

He saw your bills. He knows you told him not to look, because he knows the only way you keep your sanity and keep your head above water is by allowing a part of yourself to ignore the existence of your suffering.

But for fucks sake, forty-two-thousand-dollars out of pocket just for your mom’s two-day hospitalization? And that was just one of the outstanding bills? With big bold letters IF YOU DO NOT PAY THIS WITHIN THE NEXT 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS, WE WILL SEND THIS BILL TO COLLECTIONS.

You put any layman in a situation like that, and he couldn’t imagine suicide wouldn’t cross their mind at least once.

Gojo glances over at Choso’s jacket. The Club at Snoqualmie Ridge.

As the saying goes, keep your friends close, and keep cops who threaten to perform a full blown investigation of the legitimacy of your marriage even closer.

“You play golf, Kamo?”

“What–” Choso stutters, a little surprised by the question, but his fists relax slowly, “yeah?”

“We should go for a swing sometime.”

“Huh? But—”

Gojo pushes his empty glass of scotch up the table a few inches then gets up out of the chair, standing in front of Choso, gaze leveling before he pats him on the shoulder, and says, “Just to see who’s the better shot.” Then brushes past him to go close out his tab.

—

It’s late in the evening by the time Gojo finishes running some errands and can finally unwind on the couch. A crisp cold can of diet coke in hand…impractical jokers playing for background noise from his 86 inch OLED smart TV, his legs stretched out in front of him onto the coffee table he made himself, and sunk deep into his favorite corner of the couch. The one he’s broken in over the years into that just perfect amount of give to sink ratio. It truly was the simple things in life.

He picks up the book he had left off reading from the coffee table. A white cover with bolded red letters that read Crucial Conversation: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. It was some self-help book one of his partners at the brokerage firm recommended to him that apparently revolutionized the way he sells houses.

“Hm,” Gojo hums to himself, flipping the pages of the book, that freshly-printed-processed-wood smell hitting his senses satisfactorily. He gets to the part he had left off on.

He squints at the pages, hard to read with contacts that are half a step below his prescription, but he at least tries to skim for the buzzwords.

The pool of shared meaning is the birthplace of synergy.

Okay, whatever the fuck that means.

He skims some more.

People don’t get defensive because of what you’re saying; they get defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.

He skims more.

If you don’t talk it out, you’ll act it out through passive aggression.

He skims more.

The key to building safety is to step out of the content and address the conditions.

He doesn’t really know what exactly this all means but he feels like he should be taking notes.

Right when he leans over to open one of the drawers of the coffee table to fish for a pen, he hears keys jingling by the front door, somewhat frantically, before finally pushing into the lock and then the door flies open. He sits back, slightly startled, as he takes in the image of you storming inside the house looking angry as hell when you slam the door behind you.

“Hey,” he scolds, “easy on the doors, please.”

You’re pacing back and forth in front of the foyer table, clenching and unclenching your fists, mumbling what sounds like profanities to yourself over and over again, cheeks flush with rage, face scrunched up like a prune, and huffing and puffing so fast that he’s astonished he can still make out some of the words that you’re spewing.

“That…little…mother…–” You shuffle back and forth on the hardwood floor, “fucker. What a fucking–” You’re borderline hyperventilating, “JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Gojo rests his book splayed open in his lap and blinks at you. “Uh. Is everything alright?”

“No!!!!” You immediately snap at him, turning to face him, and he flinches from where he’s sat. “No, it’s not!”

He’s too scared to move at this point, let alone breathe.

You breathe in deep then let out an exhale. “That–” You close your eyes from pure fury. “That motherfucking Choso Kamo,” you struggle to even say the words without gritting your teeth, “told the entire Dayton County police department that he’s the one that broke up with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Wow,” Gojo says.

You glare at him. “I don’t need your fake sympathy.”

“All I said was wow?”

“Well, it felt very disingenuine.”

“But–”

He blinks at a fuming you, who has your arms crossed over your chest tightly, tapping your foot on the ground impatiently, expression narrow.

He glances down at the page that was open in his book.

“Uh,” he clears his throat, quickly skimming the words, then glances up at you, “Sorry. I acknowledge that my words, er, word, may have been careless, and I apologize.”

Your expression morphs into one of surprise and barebone confusion. “O-Oh…that’s okay. I guess I was just assuming things.” You glance off towards the left, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. “I’m just pissed off right now.”

“Because of what your ex said?”

“Yes. It’s annoying because now all of our local law enforcement thinks that I’m the one more affected by all of this.”

He watches you pace back and forth again, steam rolling out of your ears, face scrunched up with anger again, looking like you’re about to rip your hair off as you mumble more profanities to yourself.

He looks at you skeptically. “Are you…not?” He knows the second he says it that it was the wrong thing to say.

“I’M NOT!!!” you scream at him defensively.

“Sorry, sorry, I–” He glances down at his book again discreetly, then says rather stiffly, “...I just want you to know that I am here for you.”

You blink at him. “Oh…well, that’s—” You scratch at your elbow gently and then tuck strands of your hair behind your ear, “that’s very sweet of you, thank you.”

Hmmmmmmmm.

He steals another quick glance at the page. “What’s been the hardest part to deal with in this situation?” he asks, crossing his outstretched legs at the ankle and placing his elbow up on the armrest to set his chin down on the knuckles of his fist inquisitively.

You turn to face him again, expression softening pleasantly but there’s still a bit of surprise on your face. “Oh, it–...I don’t know, I think just…it’s a misunderstanding that he’s willingly spreading.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

You let out a hefty exhale, loosely crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back onto the Foyer table. You glance at the floor deep in thought. “Mm…angry. Frustrated. Embarrassed.” You glance up at the high ceiling. “I just hate feeling misunderstood.”

“Mhm…I see,” he nods inquisitively, then glances down at the chart in the book again, “And can you pinpoint when these feelings started?”

You look up at the chandelier, expression curling into one of melancholy. “I think I’ve always just had a hard time expressing myself emotionally, where what I do kind of comes off as different from how I really feel…and so when people take things the wrong way, it just…I don’t know, it makes me upset.”

“I hear you.” He’s running a blank so he haphazardly flips the pages of the book to a whole other chapter and glances down at words that read always gather more information when necessary. Then he looks back up at you. “And what exactly did this guy do to you that’s got you so—” he pauses when you narrow your eyes at him, “…er, that made you,” he watches you nod your head encouragingly as if waiting for him to validate the reality of this situation, “…break up with him.”

You nod, satisfied by his depiction of events, but cross your arms over your chest somewhat stubbornly. When your eyes pass over to him again, your expression softens slightly, as if contemplating something, but then it becomes rigid again.

“It’s…I don’t know. It’s whatever.”

“Did he murder a family member?”

“No.”

“Did he steal money from you?”

“No.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

You avert your gaze towards the kitchen. “…no.”

“Then what?”

You exhale deeply, still avoiding eye contact with him. “The why doesn’t matter. Just know that he failed me and subsequently lost me.”

“Well,” Gojo says, “then he’s an idiot.” And he didn’t need the book to come up with that.

You look back at him with a gentle ease, and your arms drop from their crossed position before you smooth your palms down the fabric of your jeans. You try to maintain eye contact with him but not without blinking your lashes a few more times than usual. “Thanks for, um…letting me vent. I actually feel a lot better after…talking about it.”

“Sure,” he closes the book in his lap, “same time next week?”

“What?”

“—What?”

You squint your eyes at him suspiciously, but then drop it when you let out a hefty sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose in exhaustion. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

He’s not sure if it’s appropriate for a therapist to make a without me? joke in response to one of their clients announcing that they’re going to go take a shower, but he holds back regardless.

He watches you shuffle across the hardwood floors towards the stairs, mumbling a few more remnant profanities as if you still had a couple left in you to spill. And just when he sees you lift one foot up on the first step, he remember that he should probably—

“Oh, uh, sorry, while we’re on the topic of your ex,” he says, “is now a bad time to tell you that I’m going golfing with him on Sunday?”

Your jaw drops.

The argument that ensues after was less of an argument and more you yelling at him for about ten minutes straight while he’s unable to get a single word in and has no choice but to just take it. Which even he’s self aware enough to know he deserves, regardless of whatever scheming good intentions he may seem to have. And when you storm away upstairs, slam the door to your bedroom with a force that would suggest he’ll have to repair it in the morning, he knows that he’s back to square one with you now. And if this was a real marriage, with a couple of kids running around the house, and a lack of spare bedrooms, he knows that he’d have been sleeping on the couch tonight.

One step forward, two steps back.

[end of ch.8, ‘two steps back’]

song(s) of the chapter: woman by harry styles

a/n. hiii loves!! thanks so much for tuning into another chapter of ihm :'') it means a lot to meee. yeah this was the first gojo pov which had me sooooo nervous because like tbh before i wrote this chapter i kinda had no idea who ihm gojo was. because reader's pov chapters are sooo heavily skewed to her pov and she's kind of an unreliable narrator, i never really had to sit down n force myself to confront how ihm gojo feels about things personally. there were lots of times where i was hitting roadblocks in my writing of this chapter because i simply was like "...wait how would he feel about this. i don't even know" hahah idk if that makes sense but yeah i definitely had to search within myself to kinda bring more of his character traits to life and balance his good qualities against his flaws. i hope you enjoyeeddd. once again my classic ihm apology that there's so many random side plots lolol i really am trying to keep the romance at the center of the story but then i get a little carried away xd i promise there will be chapters where there are bigger developments though!! but there may also be some other ones that kinda serve for set-up :''0 i try to make each chapter engaging though at the very least. but speaking of....... i am SOOOOOO excited for chapters 9 & 10 HEHEHEHEHEHEH let's just saaayyyyy we get introduced to a character that many of my readers have been curious about :)))) but yeah chapter 9 is already one of my favorite chapters of ihm so far i've only written like maybe 4.5k words for it and i'm so pumped to finish it and post it!! and then ch10 is...also one of my faves ahhhhh huuuuuuge thank you to my beta reader leni she singlehandedly gave me the confidence to post certain scenes in this chapter that i was planning to cut out but now i'm soooo happy that i kept them in!!! she's a real one fr. and thank you to another one of my beta readers josie who really forced me to think a lot ab ihm gojo's character before i went into writing this chapter lmfaooo she made me realize i didn't know shit about him HAHAH. and ofc thank you to mirl and ayelin too for helping me figure out some of the plot intricacies and providing me w support :'''') i really appreciate it i hope you guys enjoyed!! thank you to everyone who reads and interacts and leaves love for me. i'm so happy to i'm still able to make time for writing and that there are people who look forward to my updates. love you all very much!! hope to see you in the next one <3

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dreamcubed · 1 month ago

Text

paper rings | fred weasley x reader

song; paper rings [taylor swift] pairing; fred weasley x fem!rich!pureblood!reader genre; forbidden love, s2l word count; 4k timeline; goblet of fire —> order of the phoenix warnings; swearing, strict parents, fake friends, references to severe injury, slight discrimination of muggle-borns summary; you and fred were from different worlds, and in your family's eyes never should have crossed paths— but after a surprising interaction, an off-script story unfolds

this is the penultimate piece of the lover anthology!!

masterlist

"i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings."

———————————————————

One of the many luxuries that your family's status and wealth could provide was coveted seats at the Quidditch World Cup when it took place in England. And, after indulging in the enthusiasm of the crowd and countless souvenirs, you made your way back to your spacious tent with your parents feeling rather giddy. You were camping— although, with the quality and amenities of your set-up, it was more like glamping— in a more expensive and less crowded section, along with other wealthy families. So, as you settled into your double bed, you were confused at the sense of unease rippling inside of you. Still, you brushed it aside as adrenaline from the match, and finally cosied into a somewhat restless sleep.

When you woke up to the sound of screams and explosions, you realised that your instincts had been spot on, and shot out of bed to find your parents. They were hurrying out of their separate rooms just as you did, and your father quickly moved to peek out the door.

His face quickly paled, "Death eaters," he said hoarsely, and your mother gasped.

While your parents would probably never allow you to marry a muggle-born, it was not to say they didn't consider them as true witches and wizards. They were completely against You-Know-Who and his disciples— they simply didn't want their centuries-old bloodline tainted. In itself, it was still questionable, but you knew that you were lucky compared to other status households.

"Y/N, grab your wand," your father ordered, "We have to leave."

Your mother interjected, "We're pure bloods, they won't—"

"It's dark outside, they won't stop and assess who each person is," your father snapped back, moving to fetch his own wand, "Besides, they're starting fires. Wands, now."

You did as your father said, and pulled your shoes on in the process, readying to leave.

"Head towards the stadium— they're coming from the campsite entrance. Stay with us, Y/N."

The three of you left the tent and began the sprint towards the woods, your parents frequently using shielding charms as stray spells were flying all over the place. Soon, you were more protected within a crowd, but it became difficult to stay close to your parents as panicked people surrounded on all sides. As you broke the threshold of the trees, you were separated from them, and in frenzied fear you found yourself getting knocked over and rolled over the ground. Some people trampled over you, until a silhouette stopped above you and held out its hand.

"Come on, quick," you heard him say, and you took his hand and let him pull you up, stumbling to begin running alongside him.

"Thank you," you gasped out, as your legs moved as quickly as they could, now aware that it was one of the Weasley twins, from the year above.

"Don't mention it," he yelled back, slowing down slightly to match your pace.

You felt bad, and hurriedly said, "You don't have to stay with me."

"No, I don't." But he did.

Whichever Weasley twin it was seemed to somehow rejoin with his siblings, pulling you along with him. Your ears were ringing so much that you didn't see when Harry Potter and his two friends, one of them being a Weasley, disappeared, instead blindly following the twins and the only Weasley girl. That was when a horrifying yet grand formation of the Dark Mark appeared in the sky above you, making you grip the arm of the twin who had saved you. In spite of how terrifying such a symbol was, it seemed to have a positive effect, as the screaming stopped and spells were no longer being thrown around.

"They're retreating!" someone yelled, and relief washed over you.

"We should head back to the tent," the other twin said, then remembered you were there, "Where's yours?"

"Uh, in the— I'm in purple camping," you felt embarrassed to admit that you were in the wealthy campsite, especially in front of the Weasleys, who were well-known for being incredibly poor.

None of them commented, however, and the same twin continued, "Fred, you take her back there, I'll take Ginny back to ours."

Fred Weasley was the one who saved you.

***

When you arrived back at your tent, you didn't hesitate to call for your parents, "Mother? Father?" you shouted, but heard no response. Your tent was heavily fire-damaged on the outside, but perfectly fine on the inside— yet there was no sight of them. Anxiety began to rise within you again.

"I'm sure they're okay," Fred rushed to assure you, "They just haven't got back yet. I'll wait with you."

You nodded, and sat down next to him.

"What's your name, by the way?"

"Y/N," you said quietly, "Y/N L/N."

You saw his eyes widen at your last name, but he said nothing, "'M Fred— Weasley, but you probably guessed that."

A small chuckle emerged from you, "I know who you are."

"You go Hogwarts?"

"Of course."

"Yeah, I suppose we're quite famous there, me and George."

You agreed.

The minutes ticked by, and you were becoming increasingly worried.

"Look," Fred said, "My family will be getting worried about me, so I need to head back. You can come with, of course— maybe leave a note or something?"

With panicked breaths, you stood up and muttered a charm that displayed words in the air in front of your tent.

'Mother, Father— I'm safe. I am in the main campsite with the Weasleys.'

And with that, you followed Fred to where the majority of the tents were, and watched as what appeared to be his elder brothers hugged him.

"George told us where you were, but you took a long time," one of them said, as they all noticed you, "Your parents weren't there?"

You shook your head, "I left a note saying where I'd be."

He nodded, "'M Charlie, this is Bill— we're the oldest Weasleys."

"Y/N," you replied with a forced small smile.

"Any idea where the others are?" Bill asked.

Fred shook his head, "Haven't seen 'em since we were with George and Ginny."

"Shit."

Thankfully, only a few minutes later, Harry Potter and his friends returned with the Weasleys' father, who was sporting a grim expression. A discussion concerning death eaters and the Dark Mark ensued, somehow involving a house elf, but all you could do was sit there quietly. It wasn't until the conversation finished that the new arrivals noticed you. "Who's this?"

"Y/N. Y/N L/N," Fred said, "Found her in the woods."

"Where are your parents?" Mr Weasley asked.

You shrugged, "I have no idea."

The man's eyebrows furrowed, "Rich pure bloods missing," he said slowly, "Peculiar." His suspicion of you was evident.

"They're not death eaters," you said quickly, "I've— I've seen their bare arms a countless number of times."

"She's right," Bill said, "The L/N family don't exclusively wear long-sleeves like all the families who were suspected of it."

Mr Weasley seemed to ease up at that, "Sorry, just being cautious, I'm sure they're here somewhere."

***

As it turned out, when your parents had been separated from you, they had gone back to look, and gotten severely injured in the process. They had both been admitted to St Mungo's, where they wouldn't be able to leave for a few weeks. You were grateful that they were alive and seemingly mentally sound, but your large house felt even emptier than before without them.

To pass the time, you wrote a letter to Fred, thanking him profusely for saving you from being trampled to death, and informing him of your parents' situation. You handed it to your owl after pressing your family's wax seal on the envelope, before heading to the household library.

You never told your parents what happened to you that night, mainly because they hardly gave you a chance to speak as they fussed over the fact you were alive and unharmed. It was strange, how this was a secret that you kept all to yourself, at least from the people in your social circle. Complete strangers knew where you were when the death eaters attacked, but your closest friends and family didn't. Not that anyone asked— your friends knew that you went to the quidditch game, and they would have heard about what happened, but not a single one had reached out to check on you.

***

The first bit of post you received was not from friends, but from Fred Weasley, in reply to your letter. He told you that any decent person would have done the same, and that you probably would have been fine without him. He also said that he looked forward to seeing you when school restarted, before asking how your parents were. So, for the first time since they had been hospitalised, you told someone of their injuries, and how long their recovery would be. You briefly alluded to how alone you were in your house, and how he was the first person to ask about you.

Your correspondence continued right up until you boarded the train to Hogwarts, walking down until you found your friends. As you entered the compartment of your fellow Ravenclaw girls, they gave you scornful looks.

"What?" you said instinctively, confused and hurt by their reactions.

"Go away, death eater," Janice, the girl you would have considered your best friend, spat.

You furrowed your brows, "What are you talking about?"

"Your family were at the Quidditch World Cup and haven't been seen the attack," another of your friends stated accusingly, "It's pretty fucking obvious that they're in hiding."

"No, we're not— they're not— they're in the—"

"Save it," Janice cut you off, standing up and walking towards you, making you back up out of the compartment. "We aren't friends with death eaters."

"My parents are in—" but Janice had slammed the door shut and locked it, glaring at you through the glass as she sat down.

Tears pricked at your eyes, and as a result you made no further effort to talk to them, instead continuing down the corridor in hopes of finding the one person who you knew wouldn't turn you away. It wasn't long before you found him in a compartment with his twin brother and Lee Jordan, known for his quidditch commentary. You gently tapped on the glass, making them turn their heads.

As you waved, attempting to swallow your sobs, Fred quickly slid the door open and smiled at you.

"Y/N! Good to see you," he beamed, only to notice your quivering lip, "Are you okay?"

You nodded with a sniff, "Can I come in?"

"Of course, take a seat," he moved aside to allow you entry, resuming his sitting position.

You gently lowered yourself, playing with your hands nervously. The three boys were watching you carefully.

"What happened?" Fred asked carefully.

"My friends- uh- they accused me of being a death eater."

"What the fuck? Why?"

You met his eyes slowly, "Because my parents haven't been seen since the attack."

"But they're in hospital?" George spoke up, relaying information that Fred had evidently told him.

"I tried to tell them that."

"That's fucked up, man, they're not good friends," Lee said.

"Well, we know you're not a death eater," Fred moved to sit next to you, "You can hang out with us. Right, guys?"

His brother and friend immediately nodded.

"I mean, c'mon, you were with us that night and just as scared as we were," he continued, "Even if your parents were, that wouldn't necessarily mean you are."

"Yeah, try telling that to them," you muttered bitterly.

"I would, but I don't think it's worth it."

"Yeah, if they were your real friends, they would've given you a chance to explain," George added.

"You think?"

"One hundred percent," Lee said, "They had no solid proof, they just made assumptions."

You couldn't help but smile at their instant support of you, which was exactly when the train's whistle went off, signalling departure. The three boys quickly settled into a conversation of upcoming pranks and creations, surprising you with their incredible ideas: they were a lot smarter than they let on.

"Oh, by the way, this shit is top secret, yeah?" Fred said to you, "Don't tell a soul."

"My lips are sealed," you replied, just as the trolley lady appeared outside the compartment.

"Anything from the trolley, loves?" she asked after sliding the door open.

You nodded, "Three chocolate frogs and jelly beans, please," you requested, and turned to the others, "Do you guys want anything? On me."

"You don't have to do that," Fred replied.

Reaching in your pocket, you pulled out a few galleons, "I insist. It's no trouble."

You felt guilty when their eyes widened at the sight of the coins, but less so when they started ordering things.

"So good," George commented as he chewed on a jelly bean.

"Got lucky with the flavour, then?" Lee laughed.

He hummed, "Strawberry."

"Knowing my luck I'll get bogey," Lee sighed, but popped a jelly bean in his mouth anyway, before immediately spitting it out, "I was right," he gagged.

You all erupted in laughter.

***

Not a single soul had expected the announcement that came during the welcome ceremony: the long-banned Triwizard Tournament being re-introduced, and the impending arrival of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students. Soon, you were sat with Fred and George in the courtyard as they discussed their plans to enter, despite the fact they weren't old enough.

"An ageing potion?" you raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "You truly believe something so simple will get past a barrier that Dumbledore set?"

"Have some faith in us."

You rolled your eyes, "Whatever. Don't come crying to me if it fails."

"Oh, but what if I so desperately need your comfort?" Fred teased, draping his arm over your shoulders.

"Then tough shit, Fred."

"You're mean."

You rolled your eyes, "I'm realistic."

"Just you wait."

***

"So, this is what I was waiting for?" you suppressed a laugh as George and Fred walked towards you with full beards and long hair.

They rolled their eyes in sync, but could not stop the smiles on their faces-- they had never been the type to get embarrassed, and that in itself was refreshing. Fred sat down beside you, and asked, "You have a razor, by any chance?"

Somehow, you found yourself roped into cutting their hair back to its normal length, and then using a charm to turn it back to their iconic ginger roots.

"Thank you, love," Fred muttered at the end, which created a warm feeling in your chest, but you ignored this.

"Is now a good time to say I told you so?" you chuckled, standing before both of them.

"Yeah, yeah, you were right, we were wrong, you're so smart, Y/N."

"I know," you beamed, ignoring the sarcasm.

***

It was hard to miss the scornful glances that your ex-friends threw your way, especially as you still shared a dormitory with them, but it was elating to watch them see you with the Weasleys, and, by consequence, Harry Potter. They were evidently too proud to admit that they were wrong about you, despite such blatant proof of associating with famous anti-Voldemort individuals.

"What lies do you tell them?" Janice scoffed one night as you entered the bedroom.

You chuckled to yourself.

"They'll drop you just like we did when they realise the truth."

With a hum, you replied, "Yeah, the truth that my parents have been in hospital since the Quidditch Cup."

Janice's eyes widened, making you remember that you never quite got around to telling her such a vital piece of information: you had been so busy with the Weasley twins that you hardly thought about her anymore.

Still, she doubled down, spitting, "What a convincing lie."

"Go to St Mungo's and check for yourself, Jan," you shrugged.

"Maybe I will."

"Do what you want."

***

On a fateful and agonising Wednesday after the Yule Ball had been announced, you realised that you very much wanted Fred to ask you-- in fact, you genuinely feared that you might die if he did not, and went with someone else. You felt hints of jealousy towards Angelina Johnson, who had been nothing but lovely to you, but was quite close with the twins.

As if to spite you, the universe then sent a Hufflepuff boy asking out a Slytherin girl before you, the latter saying 'yes' very eagerly. The thing was, you should not want Fred to take you to the Yule Ball-- while your parents would have no problem with you befriending someone working class, they would never allow you to date, let alone marry one. Marriage was viewed as a transaction in the pure-blood society: one married to solidify status and continue the blood line. Although, Fred was a pure-blood, so maybe your parents would allow it?

You shook your head-- you were being delusionally hopeful, besides, Fred had done very little to indicate romantic affection towards you. All of these thoughts were moot points.

It was when you were sat on the Gryffindor table with Fred and George, that such a mindset changed: the twins were bickering with their brother, Ron, when the topic of insult turned to Yule Ball dates.

"Well, where's your date then?" Ron said bitterly to Fred.

Your crush rolled his eyes before turning to you, "Y/N, you, me - Yule Ball?" He made a motion of ballroom dancing as he asked, making a situation where all you could feel inside was butterflies comedic.

"Al- Alright, then," you replied as calmly as you could.

Fred then winked at Ron, who rolled his eyes.

You felt ecstatic happiness for the next hour, until it dawned on you that Fred may have only asked you to prove a point to his brother, and you happened to be the convenient option. That was a painful perspective, that you were simply convenient-- a space-filler until he found the right person.

What did it matter anyway? Your parents would never approve.

***

Admiring the baby blue ballroom gown that had been personally crafted for you upon the notification that ballroom attire would be required at the end of Summer, you could not help but feel pretty. You had spent ages on your hair and make-up, and even taught yourself how to walk in high heels, all for this fateful night. All, shamefully, in the hope that Fred would compliment you.

So, when you emerged from the Ravenclaw tower, to find Fred waiting patiently outside for you, your nerves spiked to dangerous levels. A lump grew in your throat as you approached him, unable to even force a small smile.

He whistled, "Well, love, you are a stunner."

Only then did a smile crack through your anxious visage. "You're not so bad yourself, Weasley," you said quietly, grateful that your foundation covered your blushing.

"Shall we?" he presented his arm to you.

"We shall."

From dancing with Fred to stuffing your face with the buffet, from laughing with your arms around his neck to watching George dance with Angelina-- it was, by all definitions, a perfect night. Never had you felt more alive, more care-free, which could only explain why when Fred when to kiss you as you ran from the Great Hall with your heels in your hand, you kissed him back without reservation. Without a single thought for your parents' approval. Without a care towards what was expected of you.

As he pulled away, he said, "Your parents probably wouldn't approve."

Quickly, you placed a finger over his lips, "To that, Fred, I say fuck it."

***

The Christmas holidays arrived, and your parents were still in St Mungo's, so you spent Christmas Day at the hospital with them, chatting amicably. As much as part of you wanted to keep your secret, you knew that you had to tell them-- not for their sake, but out of respect for Fred, and the fact you were not ashamed to be with him.

"Mother, Father-- how would..." you took a deep breath, "How would you feel if I married someone poor, even if he was of pure blood?"

They both went silent, your mother's lips even pursing, "We would not be... pleased."

"You know what marriage means for families like ours," your father added, "It is not a decision we make based on feelings."

You exhaled slowly, "Well, I do not think power and status is more important than happiness."

"You are young and naïve. You don't know what to think," your mother said calmly.

"I know that you both aren't happy."

"Watch your mouth," your father said harshly, "You don't even know what happiness is."

"I know it's not only seeing your spouse at the dinner table," you snapped back, surprised that you were standing up for yourself.

You observed your mother's eye twitch, "It sounds a lot to me like you are seeing an impoverished young man."

"Maybe I am."

"You will cease such relations immediately," she replied, "Our family's reputation is at stake if you are seen frolicking around with a respectless house."

Angrily, you stood up, "I see that reputation is more important to you than your own daughter." And, with that, you stormed out of the room.

***

After that Christmas, you stopped sending letters to your parents, and delved even deeper into your relationship with Fred.

"Am I really worth losing your relationship with your parents?" he asked one Summer afternoon as you lounged by the lake.

"Yes," you said without thinking.

"I just don't want to be a cause for regret for you."

"Even without you in the equation, I would still be angry about the principle," you sighed, "Their values are not in the right places."

He hummed, "I don't want to hold you back."

"Fred, everything in my life has been dictated for me-- which classes I took, what I could wear, who I could consider dating-- this is the first time I have made a decision for myself. Don't try and take that away from like they did."

Wrapping his arm around you, Fred smiled, "You're right, I'm sorry. I just care about your wellbeing."

***

ONE YEAR LATER.

***

"Will you come with us?" Fred asked you, after explaining his and George's grand exit from Hogwarts during exam season, "It's completely up to you, of course, don't feel pressured."

"My parents will hate me even more."

"So?"

"Rowena knows I'll probably be expelled."

"You don't have to."

"Yet, for some reason, every bone in my body is screaming for me to go."

Fred smiled, "You will?"

"Fred, I would go to the end of the earth if it meant being with you."

"Is that a yes?"

You grinned from ear to ear, "Of course it is, silly."

"Okay, okay, great-- because this leads into my next question."

"Oh?"

Shock coursed through your veins as Fred kneeled down before you, delicately taking and kissing your hand, "Y/N, I know your parents disapprove, I know we're only young, I know I can't afford a ring-- and I know this is a stupid decision, but nothing makes me happier than making a stupid decision with you."

You gasped.

"Let's get married, let's elope, even."

"Oh, Fred," you said softly, "Nothing makes me happier than making stupid decisions with you, too."

"So, will you marry me?"

You laughed, leaning down to whisper into his ear, "Fuck it."

***

Dearest Mother and Father,

You will be disappointed to know that I just married an impoverished man.

Kind regards,

Y/N Weasley

———————————————

masterlist

written; 03/01/2025 —> 22/03/2025 published; 22/03/2025 edited; —/—/——

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rahuratna · 3 months ago

Text

Synopsis: Your attempt to surprise Astarion with a thoughtful gift goes awry when his innate curiosity and suspicion lead him, again and again, to the wrong conclusions ... [Astarion x Tav/Reader]

Genres: Romance, humour, fluff, angst.

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

(Hello Readers, I'm a little under the weather and needed to write some tooth-rotting fluff and humour, as always).

"What are you three mumbling about?"

Straightening sharply, you shot your companions a warning look. Gale scratched his ear awkwardly while Shadowheart, bless her soul, stared down her nose at Astarion, supremely unconcerned.

You cleared your throat.

"Nothing important, Astarion. We've got everything we need for now. Let's head back to camp."

He didn't question you further, but you had definitely aroused his curiosity, if not his suspicion.

You could sense it in the way his gaze traveled rapidly between the three of you as you made your way back, as if he'd catch any stray motion or gesture that might give away your hidden purpose.

That evening, as you replenished your quiver of arrows and checked your stock of potions, Astarion approached and settled on one of your cushions, lounging casually.

He did this every so often, when the fancy took him, or when he wanted to have a conversation, but something about the wary glint in his eye told you exactly what was on his mind.

Oh dear.

As much as you'd had plenty of practice deflecting questions over time, going up against the master of deception himself was somewhat daunting.

You granted him your most disarming smile and attempted a distraction.

"Do you want to drink from me tonight?"

He cocked his head, the curve of his lips familiar, dangerous.

"Of course, darling. But you know ... "

He leaned forward, watching you intently.

"I couldn't help but notice the conversation you had with Gale and Shadowheart earlier. Why can't you tell me what it's all about? I'm closest to you, aren't I? We've shared so many things ... nights, bedrolls, blood ... so why not this one little thing?"

You sighed and straightened.

You should have known it would play on his mind like this. It wasn't entirely fair to him either. In spite of his guarded demeanour, all shielded smiles and barbed words, he was somewhat vulnerable when it came to you and your slowly budding relationship.

"Look, I really can't tell you because ... well, it's a surprise."

He looked taken aback.

"A surprise? I don't much care for surprises."

"This one is harmless, I assure you. And it's worth waiting for. You will find out soon enough."

He hummed and tutted, still looking rather put out.

"And you trusted Gale and Shadowheart with your surprise, and not me? I'm rather hurt."

His tone was playful, but you could see that his curiosity had not been dispelled.

Over the next few days, he was far more watchful than usual. It was actually rather endearing, at times. He seemed to be on the lookout for what the elusive 'surprise' could be and grew rather moody when he kept getting it wrong.

First, there was the incident with the chocolatier. You'd come across the newly opened store in the city and the smell coming from within had been far too appetising to ignore. When you'd tugged Astarion's sleeve and gestured to the door, he'd been on instant alert.

Following you into the shop, he'd glanced around uncertainly, until the eagle-eyed chocolatier had suggested, with twirl of his magnificent mustache, that he also dealt in 'custom-made delicacies' with 'special fillings' for his 'nocturnal customers'.

You'd immediately purchased some of these for Astarion, and others for those at camp, and happily made your way out of the store.

On the road back, Astarion was staring quietly, from time to time, at the small package in his hand. You bumped his shoulder gently with yours.

"Oh, go on. Try one. They must be delicious."

He shook himself out of his reverie and offered you a slightly brittle smile, fingers curling around the chocolates as if they were something far more precious.

"Oh. Well, I thought I'd save these for later, you know. We could ... sit together in your tent and have some wine. And eat these. I ... do appreciate your little surprise, you know."

You stopped dead in the road, eyes widening.

"Wait. Astarion ... this is not the surprise I had in mind."

He froze.

"What?"

"This is... not the surprise. I just wanted to treat you to something."

His gaze slid away from yours, mouth working in what looked like embarrassment. You took mercy on him and leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the cheek, then at the corner of his lips. He turned back to you slowly, regaining some semblance of composure.

"We can still have them in your tent later?"

You grinned.

"Naturally."

The second time he'd made an incorrect guess occurred on one evening, when he'd come to your tent for replenishment.

You'd lain back on the cushions which he'd arranged more comfortably under your head and neck, before tilting your gaze upward, ready to descend into a deep sleep after he'd had his fill of your blood.

Astarion hovered over you, taking you in. You reached up and stroked a finger down his cheek, smiling, assuring him that he could go ahead.

Truth be told, you were a little excited for him to drink from you tonight. Earlier, Jaheira had informed you of a specific exotic fruit, the unique sugars of which persisted in the bloodstream for some time after consumption. You'd tracked down that particular fruit in the market, consuming it as soon as possible under Jaheira's knowing glance.

You wondered whether Astarion would be able to distinguish the flavour. This thought was also accompanied by a healthy dose of nerves.

What if he hated it?

It was rather late to have second thoughts, however, as Astarion was already leaning over you, fangs tracing the side of your throat. He grazed over your skin gently, as was his habit, before locating your pulse point and sinking in. The delicate pressure, the icy slide of teeth into flesh, the sudden warmth of your blood exiting the wound, all familiar sensations.

Thus far, nothing out of the ordinary.

Until a few moments later, when Astarion's eyes shot open and he separated from you with a small exclamation.

Before you had a chance to question what had caused the interruption, he was at your neck again, lapping eagerly, then leaning back, tracing his tongue over his fangs. His eyes met yours, surprise and pleasure building to something far more heated.

"Darling, what have you eaten today?"

You couldn't help the laugh that burst from you.

"So you can taste it. It's a ... specific type of fruit that Jaheira mentioned to me."

You lowered your eyelids coyly at him, for once, the one playing the hook.

"So, what do you think of the flavour?"

He crawled up over you once more, peppering soft, wet kisses from your chest up to the base of your neck, moaning in delight.

"Nothing beats your natural flavour, my sweet, but this ... this adds a touch of honey that's just ... delectable."

His voice was now a full throated purr, and you struggled to contain your small huffs of amusement as he nuzzled into you, clearly very enamoured of your choice to treat him today.

Once he'd drunk his fill, he remained above you, eyeing you with ill-concealed passion.

"So this was your great surprise. I have to thank you for that. That particular fruit is ... rather hard to get hold of."

You raised an eyebrow, looping your arms around his neck.

"Astarion ... that's not my surprise for you."

"No? Are you serious?"

"As serious as I can get."

He let out a sharp breath of consternation, his mouth pulling into a decidedly sour line. He was wrong, yet again. It didn't stop him from licking the trace of sweetened blood from the corner of his lips, though.

The third time, he'd been slightly more wary, but sure of himself all the same. It all started when he'd been wounded during battle; an anomaly.

Somewhere in the rush and confusion, amidst the casting of an unwanted daylight spell, his position in the shadows had been revealed and the enemy had suddenly focused their attention on the swift, vampiric damage-dealer who'd been firing devastating bolts of poison and flame from his hiding place.

Karlach had carried him back to camp in a poor state and you'd been half out of your mind with worry, dosing him with powerful healing potions at the battle site and monitoring his wounds afterwards.

Eventually, Astarion had fallen into a fitful doze within the safety of his tent. You remained at his side for a while, watching his brows furrow at intervals, spectres pursuing him across a haunted dreamscape.

Normally, Astarion came to your tent to feed, so as not to disturb your sleep, or to ensure that you had a comfortable space to rest afterwards. You'd seldom had occasion to enter his little sanctuary.

Looking around, you felt a quiet surge of tenderness, taking in the various mismatched items of worn luxury, the cracked mirror, the bloodstained vessels, the ratty, threadbare blanket draped over his form.

Rising slowly, you made your way back to your own tent. Rooting among the items put away in your trunk, you drew out a warmer quilted throw, one you'd stitched together in preparation for cooler weather.

Right now, Astarion needed it more than you did. You had the materials to fashion another for yourself.

Returning, you took your time easing the old blanket from his slumbering form, pausing as his ears twitched and he rolled over. You pulled the quilt softly over him, tucking it in just beneath his chin. He sighed and curled up beneath it, the slight tremors that wracked his body somewhat easing.

You remained, watching his tousled mop of curls with a fond smile, before the weight of your own exhaustion forced you back to your bedroll for the night.

The next morning, he appeared at breakfast, looking much better and rather smug. Peering over his shoulder, you noted that the new quilt had been folded neatly, displayed proudly on top of his bedroll.

A sudden thought struck you.

Oh no. Did he -

"Darling, there you are."

He sauntered over and seated himself on the log beside you, a certain stiffness to his normally fluid gait the only indicator of yesterday's injuries.

"I slept exceptionally well beneath the wonderful new blanket that somehow found its way into my tent. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

You took a sip of your tea, eyeing him carefully over the rim of your cup.

"Yes, the blanket is now yours. And it's from me."

"Ha! I knew it. Had your scent all over it."

He crossed his legs, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Well, I've got to hand it to you. That's a surprise I definitely wouldn't have seen coming."

A few paces away Gale coughed and busied himself with the porridge while Shadowheart shot you a smirk. You set down your cup of tea.

"Ah, about that - "

Astarion leapt to his feet.

"No. It can't be."

"That's not your - "

"Not even the blanket? I'm wrong again?"

"No, not the blanket either. It's ... not your surprise."

He was opening and closing his mouth, at a loss for words, hands flapping outward in pure bewilderment.

"Hells, are you just ... doing nice things for me all the time? Why? What's the surprise? How can it not be any of those things? Not the chocolates? Not the fruit? And not the blanket either?"

Heat coursed up your neck as you gazed at him defensively.

"Well, of course I do nice things for no good reason! I just ... want to do them. Because I care about you!"

Astarion's hands found their way to his hips and he sputtered.

"Well, all right, fine! I ... I love when you do those things, but - "

"Gods, this is almost nauseatingly sweet," came Shadowheart's mutter from across the campfire.

Gale cut in, voice measured.

"The actual surprise will be here tomorrow, if that helps put you out of your state of suspense."

You groaned.

"Gale - "

"This is Astarion we're talking about. He doesn't much like surprises anyway. So, just hold onto that thought. Along with every scrap of patience you possess."

Astarion was frowning across as Gale, arms folded.

"Oh, stuff your condescending tone in the goblin latrine, Gale. I was simply curious. It's my nature. It isn't a crime, you know."

Shadowheart's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline.

You sighed and waved a hand.

"Well, what's done is done. I've got to ... go into town to see to a few matters. I'll be back later."

"Then I'll tag along, darling."

"No, you won't," came the firm rejoinder from Gale. "Just stay put or I'll cast a binding spell on you."

As you left the camp, you were fully aware of Astarion's eyes tracking you. You knew that he wanted to apologise in his own fashion, but that could wait for later. You had a delivery to attend to.

Astarion feigned nonchalance the next morning, but he wasn't fooling anyone. He lounged, of course, taking his time brushing out his hair, sharpening his numerous knives and checking his stock of poisons.

Amusement filtered into your thoughts. He was really trying to be on his best behaviour, considering that the real surprise was arriving today. From the amount of time needed to prepare, he had obviously deduced that your gift to him had taken some effort to procure.

The distant trundle of a wagon's wheels reached your ears and you put down the pack you were arranging. Astarion sprang to his feet, expression alert, while the rest of the camp gathered round.

When the covered wagon arrived, the yellow-clad driver, a boy barely out of his teens, hopped down and offered a smart greeting.

"Greetings, saer. I have here your delivery from merchant Boney, situated at the Circus of the Last Days. Please inspect the item to see that it is all intact."

You could sense Astarion's confusion growing by the minute. Stepping forward, you lifted the flap over the precious cargo before nodding to the driver.

"All seems to be in order."

"Then may I have your mark here, on this paper, to confirm delivery?"

"Of course."

Karlach rubbed her hands together with anticipation and stepped forward, beckoning to Lae'zel.

"Come on. This one's going to need some heavy lifting, know what I mean?"

Together, they brought the large object down, still in its hide covering, and set it in a fairly central area of the camp, in full view of Astarion's tent.

As you all crowded around, he planted himself front and centre, his anticipation now palpable even as he remained silent amongst the chatter of the others. You made your way over to him, gently winding your fingers through his. He turned to you and you gave a playful grimace.

"I suppose it isn't much of a surprise any longer, but it's here, and that's what matters."

Astarion's hand clenched around yours. You knew his tells well enough by now to see that the size of the 'gift' had filled him with a sense of trepidation.

"Darling, you've always had a flair for the ridiculous."

Offering the steady warmth of your knowing smile, you nodded to Gale who conjured the workings of a mage hand to draw away the covering.

It was a statue of Astarion, posed in all his rakish glory, hands slightly raised, a dashing smile on his face, the elegance of Facemaker's finest clothing carved in remarkable likeness over his form. His twin blades jutted over each shoulder, the scabbards etched out in beautiful tracery. Everything down to the delicate points of his ears had been lovingly fashioned under your careful direction.

There was a momentary silence over the camp, before Karlach whistled, Wyll whooped and Halsin's large hand came down hard on Astarion's back.

"Would you look at that! A most amazing likeness. As nature intended."

"Three cheers for Fangs!"

"Well, he certainly has more presence when he's carved in stone."

"For once, I agree. A lot less ... runty."

"Boo would like to sit on the immense shoulders of puny Astarion! The best perch in the camp!"

Through all this, Astarion had remained silent. He stood stock still, eyes drinking in the sight of his own countenance, rendered through your own vision of him, through dozens of hours when you'd sat beside the slowly forming sculpture, correcting, guiding, providing your own input in the form of hastily drawn sketches of all the parts of him you knew so well.

You watched him, his earlier nerves now transferring to you.

Had you done well enough? Was the likeness anywhere near enough to capture everything he was?

Some powerful emotion, barely held in check was burning its way through, coiling under his skin, palpable in the now convulsive clench of his hand around yours. He turned to you again, and his eyes glistened, yet held their unshed burden in check.

The sounds of the camp, and your companions, receded somewhat as he spoke, ever so softly.

"I asked you, once, what you saw when you looked at me. You told me ... back then, but I didn't really understand. How could I? I haven't seen this face in over a hundred years."

He paused and tugged you closer, burying his face in the side of your neck. You knew what the words cost him, the underlying truth to their spoken power, as bright as flame conjured on an icy mountaintop.

"I ... do see it now. Everything you wanted to show me. I see it."

You rested your head on top of his, the tangle of curls brushing your cheek softly.

It wasn't a surprise then, not in nature, but in execution, oh yes.

From that day on, Astarion the Sensuous stood proud in your camp, surrounded by light, merriment, comfort through days of darkness, the ebb and flow of friendly banter, the scamper of Scratch around his plinth and the occasional hat or cape draped around him for the sake of jest.

Through his stony eyes, the life of his counterpart unfolded, delicate as a night orchid, embroidered with all the golden threads of new possibility.

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