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rock-and-compass · 7 days ago

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Angel - Episode 5.12 – You’re Welcome

(I wrote this series of essays many years ago, probably around the time that the season 8 comics were being published. The were originally published on my LiveJournal and I'm reposting them here, mostly for personal archival purposes.)

Sometimes when you are lost you go through a process of backtracking your steps in order to reorient yourself. You know you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. At first you thought you’d just keep going and hope that somehow everything would sort itself out, that the feeling of unfamiliarity would dissipate as you got further along. But it didn’t and so finally you stopped and looked about and realised that it was worse than you’d feared; you have no idea of where you are or how you got there or what to do next. So now you’re stuck in alien territory, and you have three choices:

Stay put and get accustomed to the new surrounds

Keep going, even though you don’t really know what direction to turn, or

Go back, retrace your steps and try to work out where you went wrong in the first place in order to make an effort to get to where you really want to be.

And essentially, this is what this episode, “You’re Welcome”, is all about; Angel looking back to what has gone before in order to try and figure out where he is going.

As we left Angel in “Damage” he was made to realise what his tenancy at Wolfram and Hart has cost him; just a few little things like his identity, his self-belief, his mission, his reputation and the trust of one of his most symbolically important allies. Big problem indeed - Compromise has cost him…well, everything.

‘You’re Welcome’ opens with a practical demonstration. Angel, Wesley, Fred and Gunn arrive to investigate the scene of a crime. Fred uses a little gizmo to read the ‘trace signatures’ present. It picks up hair follicles, enzymes and blood - lots of blood; which is not so surprising considering the pile of dead nuns on the floor. Gunn is perplexed – why would their client, Mr. Greenway, do such a thing as this? He’d been promised probation in exchange for shutting down his ‘racketeering operation’. In short, Wolfram and Hart would arrange for Greenway to get away with his crimes in return for a change in future business activities. Angel can’t help but observe:

ANGEL: He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client, oh, and he's evil. What are the odds?

Angel wants to find Mr. Greenway and kill him, and thus hand out his own particular form of justice but Wesley points out that the murders are ritualistic, that their client has killed five holy women in order to facilitate his departure from this dimension into another. Surprise, surprise – He’s also a practitioner of the dark arts. It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

ANGEL: That's it … I can't do this anymore … any of this; living with it, running Wolfram & Hart. I quit.

When Angel says, ‘I quit’, it’s more than him just saying that he can’t do this, can’t play by Wolfram and Hart’s rules anymore. It is Angel saying he doesn’t want to do it anymore. That it is wrong for him to be there. It is acknowledgement that the deal was not the ideal solution to his problems and that he recognises that compromise has been complete and that he wants to be better. It is also an admission that Angel knows that he is lost (on a lot of levels) but that he’s finally decided to stop wandering aimlessly, that now is the time to pause and work out how to get back to what he was, to what he wants to be. Whether co-incidental or not, there is a reward for finally getting to this psychological place: somewhere, in an anonymous hospital room in the City of Angels, Cordelia awakes. It’s a vision that does it – flashes of the symbols painted on Eve’s apartment, on Lindsey’s body and glimpses of Angel in peril.

Back at the office Angel doesn’t want to discuss his monumental decision. His mind is set. He is resigning. The others are more cautious:

Wesley: What happened last night was tragic. It's a terrible setback, but— Angel: Setback, Wes? It's status quo. Evil wins, 'cause instead of just wiping it out, we negotiate with it; or worse...for it.

And that’s it in a nutshell – instead of fighting evil he inadvertently helps it. Fred gets defensive on the team’s behalf arguing that they are doing the best they can but, it’s not how they’re doing their jobs, Angel tells them – it’s that they shouldn’t be doing these jobs period. Gunn points out, quite rightly, that it would be naïve to think that they would be allowed to simply walk away just because they’d all had a belly-full of the place, “Let’s not start pretending that this was some lease with an option to buy”. So, it would seem that being at Wolfram and Hart is a problem yes, but trying to get out may just turn out to be a bigger one. The Senior Partners were keen enough to get Angel under their control, to negate his influence in the world that they would give him the L.A. branch. It doesn’t seem likely that they would simply let him waltz out the door now that they don’t want to dance no more. Angel doesn’t want to hear what he must know is true, so he turns it back on Gunn, the one team member who is most open about his commitment to the firm

Angel: Gunn, you really think they won't let us out? Or is it that you just don't want to leave?

Charles doesn’t argue, he believes in what they are doing and when Angel dismissively rejects his loyalty and certainty as a consequence of the brain upgrade. Gunn reminds him that they all got something out of the deal; Angel more than anyone – though the rest of the team don’t know all the ‘perks’ he got with his package or what they gave up facilitating it. The argument stalls with an unexpected phone call from the hospital.

When Wes and Angel enter the hospital room, they see a woman lying in the bed attached to all sorts of machinery. They hesitate, just because she’s come out of her coma doesn’t mean she’ll be in any condition to talk. But, oddly enough for someone who was recently comatose, she is. Cordelia walks out of the bathroom, a vision of hotliness, chastising them for leaving her in a hospital that smells like, well, a hospital. She’s exactly the Cordy we know and love. We ignore the clue that all is not as it should be because Cordelia has returned. Angel hugs her tightly. It’s emotional and heartfelt and it conveys a sense of relief and joy that Angel has found his missing piece. Wes compliments her on her healthy appearance to which Cordelia responds by recommending the whole mystical coma, hijacking of the body by a higher power to give birth to itself package. She remembers everything. Her mind is intact. Like Angel she was exempt from the mind wipe. Angel shoots a self-conscious glance at Wes, worried that Cordy has said too much about things that Wes can’t remember. But, luckily, Wesley must put it down to post coma-related confusion and doesn’t pursue her cryptic comments. They promise to buy her new clothes which pleases Cordelia greatly, not only because it’s shopping but also because she’s not really ready to go back to the hotel yet. Not a problem.

At Wolfram and Hart the elevator doors open. Wesley and Angel step out. Cordelia is downright reluctant. This is enemy territory and she knows it, doesn’t matter who’s in charge, she doesn’t want to be in its belly. It’s not scary, Angel tells her, just a normal office with normal people doing normal office jobs. He’s horribly contradicted by the sudden appearance of the blue skinned ‘pee pee’ demon last seen in “Life of the Party”. Apparently it has been living in the labyrinth that is Wolfram and Hart surviving off nothing but copier toner all this time. Nope, nothing normal about Wolfram and Hart, nothing normal about Angel and Co. being there no matter how much they want to pretend otherwise.

Speaking of Team Angel…they all proceed into Angel’s office excited to have Cordelia back. After greeting them all affectionately she asks:

Cordelia: So, where's Connor?

She’s met by blank looks and the question ‘who?’

Cordelia: What do you mean, who? Connor. Isn't he— Angel, where's your s—

Angel is saved from explaining as Harmony rushes in keen to see her old high-school pal. The joy is not reciprocated. This is the absurdity of the world that Cordelia has stepped back into; Angel and her friends work for their old enemy Wolfram and Hart, Connor doesn’t exist and Harmony, who last time they met couldn’t be trusted specifically because of the lack of a soul, is now his secretary. Cordelia’s discomfort only serves to heighten the inappropriateness of the entire situation. Angel is extremely protective of Cordy. He won’t allow the well-wishers to overwhelm her. He doesn’t want her to be upset or worried. He tries to reassure her, make it seem like everything is just peachy:

Angel: Cordy, I know there's a lot to take in, a lot of changes, but I promise you... things here are working out.

And isn’t her very return some kind of proof that it was the right thing to do? But Cordelia is not fooled. She knows him too well to be fooled. Angel spouts the company line:

Angel: Well, yeah. With these resources, there's nothing we can't do, no one we can't save. Cordelia: Except maybe yourself.

Himself. This is no surprise. This is the truth he’s been trying to avoid since his arrival at Wolfram and Hart. He is in danger. He is at risk. It harks back to his original mission statement, given by Doyle, the real Doyle, in the very first episode of the very first season of Angel:

“It’s not all about fighting and gadgets and stuff. It’s about reaching out to people, showing them that there’s love and hope still left in the world…it’s about letting them into your heart. It’s not about saving lives; it’s about saving souls…Hey, possibly your own in the process.”

So it’s Angel who is in danger. Cordelia tells him so point blank. We know that. We’ve seen him nullified, compromised by the job. We know he fears irrelevancy. He’s been shown what his future will be if he allows the firm to control him. And now he gets Cordelia, who he loves, who he listens to, to tell him as well. And that’s not even connected to the vision that woke her, its truth based on her own observations of Angel since they arrived at the office just a few hours ago.

She’s telling him about the actual vision when Eve happens upon them. She’s cool as Cool Whip, on the surface at least, even though Miss Chase is talking about symbols and tattoos and pointing flashing neon arrows in her beloved Lindsey’s direction. Eve chastises Angel about the loss of ten million dollars in bail costs due to Greenway’s defection. Dead nuns they can deal with but being out of pocket affects the bottom line and that, according to Eve, is what really matters. It’s a very clear demonstration of the values structure of Wolfram and Hart; money, power and the business are what matters and people, not at all. So it is, fundamentally at odds with Angel’s mission of ‘helping the helpless’. Sure, they said with naivety, that they’d change the system from within, use Wolfram and Hart’s resources to help multitudes of helpless, make a real difference but they forgot the catch….to make the business run to their liking, they had to make the business run. And so they were sucked in, little by little, the place started to exert its influence to make Team Angel bend to its will. It won. Angel can’t be the Angel he wants to be at Wolfram and Hart. Cordelia knows it, tells him bluntly that he made a deal with the devil. Is she being overdramatic as Angel attests? Nope, don’t think so, if the red-skinned, pointy tailed, cloven hoofed and horned ‘gentleman’ with whom the boss man has a racket-ball date with is anything to go by.

Spike is busy playing video games when Lindsey comes-a-calling. Spike is not thrilled to see him, gives him a veiled threat to his well being if he persists on arriving uninvited. Spike gets himself a beer, but makes a point of not giving one to his guest. Spike doesn’t like Lindsey which is quite the opposite of Angel and his authentic emissary of the Powers That Be. Angel and the real Doyle became close friends, allies and confidantes, but not Spike and the false Doyle – there’s no friendship there. Lindsey tries to win some point by sympathising with Spike over the loss of his hands. He knows what that feels like all too well having had a hand chopped off (in A1.22 - To Shanshu in LA) and then reattached courtesy of Wolfram and Hart (A2.18 – Dead End), though he doesn’t confide the similarity of medical provider. Lindsey encourages Spike to get out on the streets again, the ‘Powers’ are counting on ‘their’ champion, there are helpless to help. Spike doesn’t want the pep talk, says he was planning on going out anyway, that he’ll jump at the first sign of a vision. Good boy, that’s what Lindsey likes to hear. What he doesn’t want to hear are complications. Eve rings to give him the heads up about Cordelia, her vision and the fact that all the clues lead straight to him. It’s not great news; it necessitates a change of plan…

In Angel’s apartment Cordelia watches an old video of an advertisement she and Doyle made for the fledgling Angel Investigations:

Doyle: If you need help, then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best. Our rats are low— Cordelia: Rates. Doyle: It says rats. "Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on, and that's what you'll find here, someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope."

It’s a two-way message. When they made it, it was for the helpless that needed to be told that there was someone who cared, who could help them. But tonight, as they watch it says so much more. On one level it is about Cordelia – when you’re at the end of your rope (and Angel has certainly nearly exhausted his personal length) she is someone he can count on, who will go all the way, protect him and not lose hope. In Destiny, Buffy turned away, said she couldn’t trust him because of the situation he was in, but Cordelia, where Angel is concerned, is more steadfast. She won’t give up on him. She is his Champion. For Angel the message is a reminder of what he was; what was special about him and what he did, pre-high-tech gizmos, pre-money, pre-endless resources and pre-Shanshu promise. It’s a reminder that he can be this man again, if he doesn’t lose hope. It all comes back to hope.

Cordelia and Angel talk properly now. He tries to explain the reason for going to Wolfram and Hart. Cordy preempts him with a lot of talk of corruption, of being seduced by fancy facilities, money, manpower and a penthouse with a really spectacular view and she means spectacular. But when he throws Connor into the explanation mix, then she begins to understand. Cordelia alone gets told the truth:

Angel: Connor. Cordelia: Where is Connor? Why did Gunn ask— Angel: They don't remember him. It's part of my agreement to take this job. The senior partners altered reality. They gave Connor a life, a real family, and a childhood. Something I could never give him. He's got no memories of us. And no one remembers him - Except me and you….and Eve, for some reason.

Cordelia is appalled. She lays it on the line:

Cordelia: So, not only did you strike a deal with your worst enemy to give up your son, you let them rape the memories of your friends who trust you?

Angel tries to rationalise the decision saying that Connor was about to kill her and himself, that it was the only way to help him. Although she doesn’t argue with him, the silence is quite glaring, nevertheless. It wasn’t his only option. He could have let Connor and Cordelia die, accepted their fate as a consequence of the series of events since his son’s miracle birth, or, alternatively, as a consequence of his up-bringing (as suggested by Lila in A4.22 - Home) or at the end of the day, if he was that set on giving his son a ‘normal’ life he could have brokered a different deal that didn’t involve wiping his friends memories. Home shows most pointedly that Angel turned Wolfram and Harts offer to his advantage. He accepted the deal on his conditions, the condition that Cordelia would receive the best medical care, and that Connor would be given a new family, new memories, all traces of the past removed, and that no one, beyond Angel himself, would have any memory of his son (oh, and he’ll take that bauble and file for Buffy too). These were not Wolfram and Hart’s stipulations; they were 100% Angel’s. In hindsight the deal and accompanying provisos look increasingly like yet another ‘quick-fix’ solution that hasn’t gone quite as planned, sure he made some sacrifices, his son, his autonomy and he did act out of love for Connor, but he also took liberties that he had no right to take and presented his team with the deal done, fait accompli, no questions, no considerations, no debate, no choice.

Angel doesn’t want the uncomfortable truth. Besides, they’re all doing fine here at Wolfram and Hart. They’re doing good work, making a difference. Cordelia wasn’t born yesterday:

Cordelia: Don't give me that, "everything's fine here" company line. I'm not buying it. Neither are you. And neither are the Powers That Be. Why do you think they woke me up, gave me that vision? They know you slipped the track, and they want me to help put you back on it.

But she’s wrong about the Powers, Angel tells her, they’re not in his corner anymore. Spike is their new champion. He’s the one working the streets, helping the helpless. He’s the one who saved the world. And Angel is running an evil law firm. What kind of freaking Bizzaro world is this?

Cordelia: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this? Angel: I am lost without you.

Cordelia, his rudder, his truth teller, his confidant; She knows him better than anyone, she understands his struggles, she has pushed him along when he didn’t want to go, she has physically shared his mission, was passionate about their mission and her very presence here makes the audience feel exactly what the loss of her company and influence has meant to Angel, how significant it has been all along. She tells him that he’s just forgotten who he is. He asks her to remind him, but that’s for him to figure out, she says:

Cordelia: …I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in— That, um... the guy I knew. I see him around here, then maybe I'll start believing.

If she sees that guy around, maybe then she’ll start believing all his propaganda about the good work they’re doing, and that life is just fine and dandy too. “Let me know if you do”, Angel asks sadly, an admission that that guy, that champion that Cordelia described, really is gone, lost.

Cordelia: Do you ever wonder... Do you ever think about if we'd met up that night and had a chance to— Angel: All the time.

His reply is swift and honest and pulsates with unfulfilled possibilities, what might have been had they ever managed to get their timing right. His ‘all the time’ speaks volumes. Cordelia is the woman he thinks about, the one he misses, needs and wants. It’s quite affecting, the understated romantic poignancy of it all.

Lindsey and Eve are not so unlucky in love. Eve is incredulous that Lindsey can be so calm about the sudden change of events and the threat of exposure. But Lindsey takes a more optimistic view; the fact that Cordelia is awake means that the Powers are taking an interest, that they matter. But we also discover that envy is an unrelenting taskmaster, and that Lindsey is a slave to his. The motivation behind his slow and considered attack on Angel is jealousy. He resents the fact that this ‘Euro-trash vampire’ has been given everything he once worked for. He forgets that he used to be Wolfram and Hart's golden boy, was moving up the ranks with exceptional speed until he chose to walk away, chose not to be a part of the Wolfram and Hart machine after he had his blinkers removed by Angel (in the aforementioned A2.18). But hearing that Angel had been handed the reigns he once coveted must have burned beyond endurance and so reignited the flame of hatred and envy. Despite his denial to Eve, Lindsey’s world really does revolve around Angel.

The next day Wesley and Cordelia hit the books ‘old-school’ style. No extra help, no divisional involvement, just the two of them trawling through a myriad of mystical texts looking for answers just as they did in the old days. She turns Wesley’s head, at least momentarily, and reminds him of the way it used to work, before Wolfram and Hart were part of the team. With that nod to the past, so comes acknowledgement of past events that were none too pleasing, that have, for the most part, been swept under the carpet, forgotten. Cordelia apologises for her part, her body’s deeds acting under the volition of another, she just wanted to tell him that before…

And then they find the images, the symbols they’ve been searching for. They are a form of protection rune used to cast concealment spells that guard the bearer from being seen by higher powers, mystics, seers or modern surveillance devices. Handy magic. Cordelia remarks that somebody really wants to stay hidden and…we see Lindsey entering the building, walking past security cameras and laser beams without detection. He is able to walk up unnoticed behind a particular demon, stab him in the back and retrieve a crystal from its throat.

In Contrast to Lindsey who seems to know the place like the back of his hand, Cordelia is kind of lost in the hallways of Wolfram and Hart. She describes it as a rat maze, complete with rats. She turns to see Spike walking towards her. She smiles and greets him like an old friend, perfectly willing to accept his change of motivation, though not without a classic Cordelia comment:

Cordelia: Well, well. I heard you weren't evil anymore, which kind of makes the hair silly.

But Spike isn’t there to trade witticisms. He strides purposefully towards her, adopts his game face, grabs her by the shoulders and bites down on her neck. But then, almost instantaneously, he steps back and looks at her with a puzzled expression. A second later Angel punches Spike and a small scale scuffle breaks out. Angel full of wrath and warning in a ‘nobody messes with my Cordy!’ kind of way. Spike tries to explain:

Spike: She's evil, you gormless tit. Cordelia: Excuse me? Who bit whom? Angel: Did you call me a tit? Cordelia: I thought he had a soul. Spike: I thought she didn't. Cordelia: I do. Spike: So do I. Cordelia: Well, clearly, mine's better.

[Ahhhh, this trio could have made magic together given but the opportunity!]

Cordelia: And you called this guy the big hero? Spike: You called me a hero?

Spike is clearly chuffed to have been identified as such by Angel. It is all he wants, Angel’s good opinion and recognition that he’s changed. But Angel’s not so ready to admit it in front of the boy just yet. He withdraws the compliment saying that he didn’t know that Spike was eating people again. In frustration Spike gives Angel a Liverpool kiss sending them both reeling in pain but gives the opportunity for further explanation. It was a taste test. Spike needed to know if what his source said was true. This is interesting because it confirms that Spike doesn’t trust Lindsey, the source of his information. Secondly, he says that Cordelia didn’t taste evil or demon-y at all. But she should, shouldn’t she? She is, after all, part demon and has been since Birthday (A3.11). Something isn’t right here…

What source, Angel wants to know. And so Spike tells them about his guy, the visions and the connection to the Powers. It all hits a little too close to home for Angel and Cordelia. Spike refers to the faux Doyle as ‘Tattoo Boy’ causing the proverbial shit to hit the proverbial fan. As the trio talk a very nervous Eve watches from the end of the corridor. Eve is right to be concerned. Angel quickly zeros in on her as a likely source of information. It’s the parasite from Soul Purpose that proves to be her undoing; the fact that Spike’s informant told him to rescue Angel from a bug that she put on him in the first place. The whole team is bought in. This is serious.

Meanwhile, the office has been deserted, whatever Lindsey is doing deep in the basement has triggered an evacuation warning. Without too much prompting Eve spills the beans about the ‘fail-safe’, a device that was designed to destroy Angel just in case he couldn’t be controlled by the Senior Partners, which to date, hasn’t been a huge problem, it’s still not a problem since the device has been artificially activated by Lindsey, not by Angel’s rabid insubordination. They quickly realise that the impostor must be the one behind it, so ask for more information from Spike. He doesn’t have much to add just that he’s an urban cowboy who once had a hand chopped off. The light bulb goes on; they’re in the dark no longer. They know exactly who they are about to face. Wes says he can try and remedy the concealment spell and takes Fred and Lorne to assist. Fred doesn’t want Angel to go alone but he doesn’t want to risk anyone he cares about. Spike volunteers and Angel quickly, too quickly, agrees. OK, so he doesn’t care about Spike, much, but on the flipside, he might just be beginning to realise that there are worse things than having Spike watching your back in a rumble. Cordelia is going too – Angel tries to dissuade her, but she’s determined. She’s a warrior and she wants to see a lawyer. Nobody gets away with messing with her guy!

The trio go down to the basement and set off the security system that Lindsey was able to deceive. It releases a horde of zombies. Spike volunteers his services to hold them at bay while Angel and Cordy go forward. They find Lindsey. He acts glib at their arrival. Should he get weak at the knees, promise to be a good boy?

Angel: It's a little late for that, Doyle.

Lindsey: There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?

To which Angel delivers his cutting rebuttal:

Angel: You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change

Angel finds it hard to believe anyone can change and even though Lindsey is making no pretense of real repentance, Angel’s belief that a leopard can’t change its spots, particularly a Lindsey-shaped leopard, will come to prominence later in the season. Angel wants to finish things, so he goes to punch Lindsey, but surprisingly, Lindsey is able to stop it mid-thrust and sends him flying across the room. Huh, looks like he’s learnt a new trick or two in his absence. Lindsey threatens Angel with a small pen knife. Angel draws a samurai sword. Lindsey magically transforms his little bitty blade into once comparable to his foe’s. Angel charges Cordelia with shutting down the strange machine that Lindsey had activated.

So, they start to fight, swordplay, acrobatic moves and banter. They remember the first time they met, when Angel kicked his client out the window of a skyscraper. Good times. It’s another backward glance; what they were back at the beginning, the day he made an enemy of Wolfram and Hart, another reminder of the strange and unexpected journey they’ve taken.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Wesley, with assistance from the team, is working the mojo, reading the weird language, casting the spell. It’s another instance of looking back, returning to their roots; Wes, Fred and Lorne. Gunn is with them too but he’s a bit like a fish out of water. He remarks:

Gunn: Man, I should be down there. Got enough Betty Crockers. I should be throwing some hurt.

That’s what he used to do. What brought him into Angel’s world was his hunting and fighting skills. But he’s not down there ‘throwing some hurt’, he’s upstairs with the suits. Unlike the others who actually return to their roots, Charles merely looks at his from a distance, observes the irony but does nothing about it. He is unable to reconnect with what he was because he has been fundamentally changed by Wolfram and Hart.

Angel and Lindsey continue to fight, continue their punch strewn stroll down memory lane. Lindsey gains the advantage by plunging his sword into Angel’s heart. But it’s not the sword that stings, its Lindsey’s words:

Lindsey: Who is this? Who is this? I came to fight the vampire with a soul. Guess you shouldn't have sold it, huh? Look at you, from champion to pathetic corporate puppet in just a few months. You used to have fire in your heart. Now all you got in there is that big honkin' sword. How's that feel, champ?

Fire in his heart? That seems so long ago, now all that’s left is a dried-up old walnut of a thing, or so it seems. But there’s life in the old nut yet. Angel pulls out the sword to continue the fight. As Angel re-engages, Cordelia has some success with the giant machine. It begins shutting down and returns to an unanimated state. Lindsey’s power diminishes with it – he can’t even throw a straight punch any longer. Angel, through this battle with the past personified is able to find himself again, the self he wants to be, confident, assured, purposeful and is freshly reminded of what it was he was fighting in the first place.

Angel: I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys

This is no solo effort. Angel is able to win because of the efforts of his team. Sure, Angel did the actual fighting, but Cordelia cracked the machine, Wes and co. were able to make Lindsey’s protective tattoos evaporate and even Spike was able to take on the mundane task of holding off the zombies that enabled Angel to progress to the main feature. Teamwork wins the day, again.

So now the Senior Partners are alerted to Lindsey and the games he’s been playing. Angel is only too happy to let them have him. Oh yeah, Senior Partners are firmly in control here. Lindsey is sucked up through a smoky portal up to where the Partners hand out their punishment, perhaps never to be seen again. Eve is sent packing too. The whole family, including Spike and Harmony see her to the door and off the premises with the parting promise of vengeance courtesy of the Senior Partners should she ever show her face again, should she carry through with her threats of retribution. Lorne suggests a drink which meets with general agreement, if not enthusiasm, particularly from Spike who readily admits:

Spike: Well, I've been prancing around thinking I had a destiny. Love to drown my embarrassment in a few pints.

With the admission comes a sense of relief. He’s been released from a lie, a charade that never quite fit. His compass has been placed squarely back in his own hand, the needle points magnetic north. He needs no destiny to find direction. He can go wherever he likes.

Even Angel wouldn’t say no to a drink. It’s been a big day. It’s about to get bigger.

Cordelia says that she and Angel will catch up to the others. Her first question, once they are alone, is how does he feel? He feels good, like Harmony in Harm’s Way earlier in the season, he finds that the unbridled hatred of another is quite a handy reminder of one's self-worth, though admittedly, he doesn’t think that beating up little old Lindsey qualifies as a real big deal. Cordy laughs at his obtuseness:

Cordelia: Boy, I really do fall for the dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you, you were one of them?

Helping the helpless was the original mission, saving souls and in the process he just might save his own. He needed some help to remember that, and Cordelia was there to give it to him, get him back on the tracks. She’s just about succeeded.

Angel: Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over, but I do feel like I can do this. Wolfram & Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.

Through Cordelia’s guidance, Angel's finds self-belief and confidence. They fertilise the seed of hope and it germinates, allowing a sense of purpose to be reborn. So, did she really mean all that stuff about him having made a deal with the devil? True to the last, she doesn’t salve his bruised ego by lying to make him feel better:

Cordelia: Was God's honest truth. But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end.

The deal was wrong but, if he remembers who he is, he won’t be corrupted, and he’ll come through in the end. She has absolute faith in him. Then Cordy breaks the bad news – she won’t be around to see the outcome. This is not her gig anymore; he can explain it to everyone once he understands:

Angel: That's gonna be never. I need you here.

So Angel, who never needed anybody, admits that he needs this one; Cordelia, who has been his best friend, his constant, his conscience, his guide, his support, his ally, his partner. How will he go on without her? But she’s given him the toolkit; be true to himself, remember who he was, remember who he is. Easy.

Cordelia: Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.

Angel doesn’t understand. There’s more he needs to say but Cordy knows she’s slim on time. She touches Angel’s face tenderly:

Cordelia: We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you . . . Oh, what the hell. One for the road?

As she walks back to him Angel smiles. It’s a genuine, real, emotional smile – an event that is so rare in Angel’s history. It is, perhaps, the happiest we ever see him, even though the moment is steeped in bittersweet sadness. As they kiss a kiss a long time coming, the telephone rings. Cordelia says he really must answer it, which Angel reluctantly does. It’s the hospital with the news that Cordelia has died. At first he doesn’t believe, says it is impossible, says she’s standing right in front of him…

He looks for Cordelia only to discover that she’s disappeared. He chokes back tears and hears the truth. She never did wake up from the coma. Suddenly all her words take on a new significance. Her parting gift has been to get Angel back on track. The Powers owed her one and she didn’t waste it. So, the Powers don’t seem particularly interested in Angel per se. It was for Cordelia, used and abused at their hands that they stepped in and interceded (and perhaps to usurp the pretensions of the audacious Lindsey and his false claims to Power-provided visions).

And it’s interesting too, the perpetual use of the descriptive “back on track” when describing Angel’s need to regain a sense of purpose. ‘Tracks’ imply a specific destination and thus a destiny. The ‘tracks’ take you somewhere pre-determined, you have no choice in the way the journey unfolds, the tracks make the decision for you. Contrast this to Spike and his metaphorical compass with which he is free to choose his own direction, destination and route and it’s not hard to see that Angel is still bound by his apparent ‘destiny’, no matter how much he denies adherence to such belief. But still, Cordy has worked a miracle here; she’s managed to recover a smidgen of self-belief and encouraged the regrowth of hope and what could be bad about that? What can he say but whisper a simple ‘thank you’ to the woman who had such a profound influence on his very existence.

Next up: Angel Season 5 episode 13 - Why We Fight

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