#And wow this took a fucking turn because I legit forgot where I was going with this like four tags ago but anyways. Yeah

[hils79]

Hils Watches Only Friends - Ep 6

Halfway through already!

Excellent episode title. I'm sure this is going to go well.

I half expected Top to turn evil and leave Mew once they had sex but nope they are still sickeningly in love

Aww I love that for them!

I love that even after having sex with Top, Mew still is under no illusions about their relationship. I mean I'm assuming at some point someone is going to show him the video of Top and Boston having sex in Boston's car but still he's not all 'you've changed and I know we'll be together forever'

I legit forgot they're still in school

Sure, Jan.

I can't work out if at some point we're going to get a tragic backstory for why Boston is like this, or if he's just here to be the antagonist.

Oh, now it's Mew's birthday? I assumed the episode title was about Sand who also just had a birthday.

Thank you, Nick.

Oh, hey, it's Drake again! I wasn't expecting to see him beyond one of Boston's many casual hookups

Oh HE'S the dude who sneakily recorded him that he mentioned in the previous episode. Yeah, fuck of Drake that's not cool.

Unsure if this is part of the plot or just an ad for LASIK

Oh, yeah, I also forgot these two have beef

(Now pausing the episode to find out why having conflict with someone is called having beef)

Londoners used to cry “hot beef!” (rhymes with: “stop thief!”) to raise the alarm in a touch-and-go situation. “Beef” came to be equated with “to shout”, and it evolved from there to represent what we know it as in its modern form.

I haven't said this for a while but BRO DON'T DO IT!

Huh! I assumed he was going to send the recording to Mew but he gave it to Ray instead. I guess Ray can tell Mew? And then be in with a shot himself? Ray does not deserve Sand.

Wow you are actually the worst

Kind of hope Ray punches Boston in every episode now

BRO DON'T DO IT!

Oh my god he's going to fuck up everyone's relationships. DUUUUUDE!

So he outed everyone's secrets except the fact that Top and Boston fucked, because he didn't want Mew to be sad. God, he is such a mess.

PLEASE

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Mew took Top home, initiated sex and then played the video right in the middle of it. HE'S HAD IT THIS WHOLE TIME! Mew might be the most stone cold of everyone in this drama! Damn, son!

Ray told him and gave him the video even before the whole drunking assholery! Wow!

Holy shit look at his face! This is awful but also amazing where is my popcorn?

Absolutely devastating

That was awful but also so fucking good!

[featherdownmoor]

Today I

took the mrt for the 2nd time in my life, to trx

accidentally dropped my phone on the train (loud as fuck)

signed up for german classes at this boujee ass building next to trx

met up and took pictures with Kimberley (we're gonna be going to the same centre now)

took the train back to asia jaya, accidentally dropped my bag on the train (even louder)

went to viviens place at 3.30pm

"men are evil dont trust men" "ok wow you're such a feminist" "yes I am and I'm 6 ft 4" "okay. name a feminist" "uhhhhhhh rosa parks?"

went into the bathroom so he could wash the bowl. i was standing beside him checking my bangs in the reflection. he stood off to the side glancing at me every now and then and smiling

smoked a bowl w vivien but i only smoked like 10% of it. "you have to suck on it" "ummmmm" and we both start laughing

i was playing w a belt (his belt) at him, he flinched, we laughed about it

watched indian sidemen

he said should we watch something and i said lets watch scott pilgrim

he's looking for the site and i start shuffling from left to right (like the dance) \/ /\ \/ /\

he's like wow you can shuffle??? and I'm like yes come here let me show you how

he was getting really embarrassed so i pulled him up anyway and so we were holding both hands while showing him the steps. he kept getting shy because he was messing up here and there and he was like "noooo i cant i look really stupid right now"

we laughed and stumbled and end up w his arms around me hugging me and his face in my neck

"this is so gayyyyyy" - v. *laughing* - me

set up the laptop for the movie and we're on his bed with two pillows propped up behind our heads

when ramona and scott are on their first date he asks if he can play with my hair. he asks what it was like when it was long

i forgot what spurred this ik he said something and i took his hand and held it and he called me gay for it

he was running circles w his thumb on my hand

then at some point he starts kicking me and i keep his leg in a leglock so he stops and that turns into a tussle and he acc cant free himself. at this point he's on top of me and i finally let him win and he flops over to the side again and we're laughing but our legs are still intertwined

he's running his hands through my hair again and I'm looking at him. i forgot what he says but our faces are already so close. so i poke the tip of his nose and give it a peck.

and then he's grinning and going off about it being gay

I'm like what do we do now?

he's like ...we kiss

and I'm like okay but it would be my first time idk if ill do it right and he slike WHAT

asks me repeatedly if I'm ok with this and I'm like yeah its not the end of the world its not

he kisses me and idk what to do with my lips I'm sitting there like a dead fish but eventually it works out my lips soften and i actually start really enjoying it bc he tastes like popcorn

atp he's on top and we gradually start going into tongue territory

he cups my face and starts kissing and biting my neck softly and i absolutely fold like um whimpering and everything that's crazy?????????

now and then he makes me ask to be kissed which is actually crazy like i had to grab his shirt and pull it closer

couple times he's legit just teasing me hovering his lips just fucking one millimeter away from mine and pulling away when i try to bring him in

he asks me where to touch and im like no butt no cooch

at some point i say something rly geeky and he's like youre so cool (sarcasm ofc) and im like bitch that's a microaggressio- and he just takes my face and cuts me off w the kiss

eventually (bc he keeps wanting me "closer" - bitch we're already nose to nose) i move on top and im kissing him and he asks me to kiss and bite his neck so i do

bro he starts WHIMPERING and whispering going "fuuuck ah fuck" again and again. and i can feel him like trembling under me and pulling me closer and closer so i just start gooning on his neck i guess

whimpering devolves into actual moaning and long story short he has a full on hickey now and im proud of it. just learnt something about myself today: i fucking love biting necks im a pleasure dom apparently

whenever id stop he'd whine about me teasing him. at some point i paused and he whispered "doooont doooont stoppppp pleaseeee do it for longer"

he asks me to put my hand under his shirt so i do and its so nice feeling him squirm

we kiss for like an hour straight i think time just flows i have no idea how long its been but we're breathless and exhaling warm. i would just pause and play with his hair and lips and eyebrows in between

and trace soft kisses on his eyelid and cheek (he said "i hate youuuuu i HATE YOU youre making me feel things"), keep my cheek on his cheek

his kisses go from soft exploring to intense with tongue im ngl i dig it a lot a very whole lot

some more mentioned in the whatsapp vms with jayden

at home v texts me saying he wants to be platonic so he doesnt "ruin a perfect thing" and keeps going on about how im the coolest person he's met so far and im an amazing person and how our friendship means the world to him

tldr wow what a day

[howlinghunters]

More venting bullshit for therapy I guess

[fireemblems24]

AM Chapter 19

So happy that AM has detoured from the path VW/SS is following because that means I get to play a different map!

Possible spoilers for all routes up until ch 19 and SS ch 18 below.

Pre-Battle

So excited for this chapter - because two lords are actually going to work together. It's the first time and looking like the only time based on what's happened in other routes.

Hey, Claude, long time, no see.

Yeah, the Kingdom and Alliance Army teaming up! Why didn't this happen any sooner?

JUDITH! Cool to see her here.

Claude is so sure his city won't fall lamo. That's very Claude.

So are those "wounds" from Gondor why I won't get to use Claude AND Dimitri.

Claude believes in Dimitri (and Byleth) 😭

Ingrid's a Judith fangirl. My too, Ingrid.

Wow, Claude set himself up as bait to get the enemy inside all based on how much he trusted Dimitri and Byleth? That's more of a mastermind scheme than he's pulled in his own route.

Ok, guys, I'm seeing why there's a Claude/Dimitri crowd lamo.

OMG it's HILDA! And she'd defending Claude 😭😭😭 How quickly my heart switches from Dimitri/Claude to Hilda/Claude lol.

Battle

Arundel doesn't really add much to the sad state of elder men from the Empire, does he?

By "that idiot," does he mean Cornelia? He can't mean Fleche.

Claude calling us late while Dimitri is all serious. Yeah, I can see the appeal of shipping them together lol.

Dude, Hilda just crit the first (and second) dude who attacked her. What a champ.

If Hilda dies, does she die for good? I don't think I want to test that theory and will just blitz this map. Which is easy with the Blue Lions in part thanks to Dimitri just being absurd. They're also surprisingly critical happy. Not that I'm complaining.

You know, the last time I was here, I was invading and killing Claude and Hilda instead of defending them. This feels so much better.

Arundel's talking mad shit for a man who's army got decimated in like three turns (other than that little corner he's hiding in, but Dimitri's right there so).

Time for Dimitri vs Arundel dialogue.

I forgot that was his uncle. Poor guy can't catch a break (Dimitri, not Arundel, fuck Arundel).

Dimitri telling Arundel he's rather calm for someone in his position (FYI, all his soldiers are dead).

Why does Arundel want him and Edelgard to kill each other? He really didn't answer the question about what happened lol.

Man, this was way too short. The other routes took me like 10-15 rounds. This one got cleared in 5.

I protected Hilda and Judith! So they gave me presents. Feels good. Feels so good compared to slaughtering Judith while she tries to retreat and killing Hilda for protecting Claude.

Post-Battle

This is legit the only route so far were all three lords get to do something after the time skip except die.

It's nice seeing two lords just talk without wanting to kill each other. Makes me wish we got more of this. But, hey, at least it's Dimitri and Claude who got the chance too.

Claude calling Dimitri and Byleth soft-hearted. He's not wrong.

I bet Dimitri's so embarrassed right now, Claude saying he knew Dimitri would set his own goals aside to help Claude and Byleth just agreeing.

Claude really gambled on Dimitri lol.

Oh, we get Claude's weapon! That's pretty cool. He gave us a present. Edelgard didn't get one.

Why is the Alliance gone? Wait, they just decided to join Dimitri? Did Claude just dump the Alliance in Dimitri's lap?

😂😂😂😂😂 Poor Dimitri. All he ever wanted was to be a good king and revenge and now he's the leader of the Alliance too lamo.

I'm know it's not going to happen, but how banger if I now got to use Claude too.

Yeah, that's what I figured. Claude's leaving.

Oh, now we get to go rescue Rhea.

Yessss promise to meet again. Though I'm sure that's after the game is over. Still, feels good knowing Claude and Dimitri parted on such good terms. Seems like it's a good sign for the future. And the Alliance just willingly joined the Kingdom too.

Oh, God, Felix, never change. Demanding Dimitri tell the truth. Oh, about Edelgard being his step-sister. And Dimitri's telling them about it.

Ugh, how can he talk about his step-mother so calmly? Do we know if she caused Duscur? I really don't want her to have done that for Dimitri's sake, but given how he's this game's punching bag . . .

Glad Rodrigue knew about Patricia. That means Lambert really trusted Rodrigue.

Mercedes is always so compassionate. I love her so much.

Annette - "I feel the idea of fighting family is just about the worst thing ever." Also Annette, can get recruited to Crimson Flower (I'm betting she gets to fight Gilbert at least once, right?)

OMG Sylvain remembered that dagger 😂😂😂 I love how casual Dimitri and Sylvain are with each other in general. It's nice since he's got so many strained relationships, but with Sylvain it's always been pretty easy between those two.

I love how Felix is concerned that Dimitri can't bring himself to kill Edelgard. What a far cry from the guy who didn't think Dimitri deserved to walk on two legs.

Oh, great, another lord willing to work with Edelgard. $10 says she refuses to work with Dimitri too.

Ashe talking about killing family 😭

Wait, though, are we actually going to talk with Edelgard? Is this like . . . diplomacy? In my Fire Emblem? Just Dimitri things I guess.

It's a waste of breath though. Edelgard has no interest in working with Claude or Dimitri.

Edelgard really just takes Ls after she wins before the time skip.

Wait, what is Edelgard planning? "There is no other way," um except there is. You could just, not, take over Fodlan and kill everyone who won't let you stomp all over them.

You know what? I noticed something. Edelgard lied to all the Black Eagles (sans Hubert) about that attack from the evil death cult group (I refuse to call them "those who slither in the dark"). Claude got pressured to come clean about his origins to the Golden Deer, but didn't tell them. He didn't lie, but he didn't tell them about him. Dimitri, though, opened right up to the Blue Lions about him and Edelgard. It's funny that all three get scenes like this, where there's pressure on the lord to reveal something and Edelgard lies, Claude withholds, and Dimitri tells everyone the truth. Blue Lions really feel like a family.

New Chapter

This one is still different from VW and SS now.

We get a different picture too!

So now we go kill the Death Knight - again - Mercedes is gonna be big sad though. Maybe I'll tea time her to try and cheer her up.

So everyone is uniting under Dimitri now. Let's go.

So the next chapter is this fort with the Death Knight there?

Poor Mercie is sad though. I don't like her being sad.

[calypsoff]

Ninety Two. Part 3

Wiping my lips again, Robyn and that damn lipgloss. It’s still on me too, on my hands too. It seems very busy outside this club tonight; I am just sat in traffic waiting to get closer. Looking over at Robyn “are you over your tipsy moment? Stop being a light weight” I would like to say to Robyn don’t reapply that lipgloss, that shit is no good for me at all, but she is “I am, I am ready to have fun” feeling a tap on my shoulder “pull up there, I can get out. Get valet to get your car” Rich said, looking ahead of me, there is a slot I can get into. Flashing my lights for this one guy to move, he just looked and then ran by “it’s been a while since we have done this together, I am excited you know” sticking my tongue out as I tried to be careful as possible to park up “cool” Rich got out “yeah, we don’t do this really, I think because I feel you are classy I just tend to like being classy for you” Robyn sniggered “classy? Oh I ain’t that, but it’s cute you feel that way about me though. You think highly of me, I love that poppa” Rich waved us over “let’s get out, let me walk over to you. He seems a little busy” unbuckling my belt, turning my car engine off. Opening the car door and getting out, it’s very busy here tonight. I have already reserved shit “aye Chris” Rich came over to me “seems like they made an event out of you” Rich ran over to me “look” grabbing the poster “no way, since when? I only booked a table, is that why it’s busy. That is fucked up, I ain’t get paid for this” passing it back to Rich “watch out my car bro, stay back” opening Robyn’ car door “thank you” she said, “mind out, take your pictures but don’t be all in her space” taking her bag, I mean I have been doing this for most of the night “you good?” closing the car door as Robyn walked by me “sir” walking into this guy “oh yeah” giving him my key, let me catch Robyn up.

Robyn turned to me, she is waiting “oh my god Rihanna” grabbing Robyn’ hand and walking off with her, the security waved us over to go inside “follow me” I reserved a section for Robyn and I but this place 1Oak being slick now, I didn’t say I was doing any event at all but according to them I am but it’s packed here. My hand tightly holding Robyn’ hand as I followed security to the table, I smiled as people are legit just wanting some attention “just here” he pointed, pulling Robyn ahead of me, I want her to be good first then me. I just realised I am holding Robyn’ bag still, following Robyn to the section. Holding her bag up, Robyn laughed. I totally forgot about her bag, luckily I was still holding this shit in my hand. Sitting down next to Robyn, she waved me over “your fancy woman is around” moving my head back “what?” I said confused, Robyn placed her hand under my chin to pull me back in “India Love, I saw her looking” letting out an oh moving my head back “right” I said to myself “they made out I am a main event here, I don’t know how when I only booked this section, I didn’t ask for that” I said in Robyn’ ear, she rolled her eyes shaking her head “and then she pops up, right” she shook her head, is she really on me like that.

We have so much drink, it’s crazy but we are doing our thing. I think I am enjoying myself way more then I should, but I feel like a lot of people have floated over here and are just watching us, recording us. Feeling my snapback being taken off, looking behind me as Robyn put it on her head and then leaned down and wrapped her arms around my neck. She placed the blunt between my lips, feeling Robyn’ lips latch onto my ear lobe. Moving the blunt back from my lips and blowing the smoke out looking to the side of me smiling, Robyn crashed her lips to mine. I have to catch up to her, she is on me. I think I have been laid back; she got my bottom lip in her mouth sucking on it. She moved back placing the blunt between her lips dancing away from me, she has took my snapback too. Next it will be my shades, I just know her. The music lowered “we got Rihanna in the building tonight, wishing her a Happy Birthday. Every day its bad gal birthday. Everyone cheer for the baddest girl in the game” seeing the bottle service and sparklers, all I can think of is the number of drinks we have, and we haven’t even really paid for them. The crowd cheered, clapping my hands turning to Robyn. She is literally the life of the party; she doesn’t even have to do much either. She is only stood on the couch, but everyone is watching her.

I did say Robyn would take my shades and she did, meanwhile Drake is here. I don’t know who the fuck invited him here but whatever, I am good over here “get y’all boo, I see you Rihanna and I hear you right now” the DJ said, Robyn wrapped her arms around my neck as she sat on my lap “aye, shots are bad” I said, Robyn is on that hard side, she need to quit that “it’s my birthday” Robyn kissed my cheek “Feelings, so deep in my feelings. No, this ain't really like me. Can't control my anxiety” Robyn started singing to me aloud, I laughed wrapping my arms around her torso. Pressing kisses to her neck until she grabbed my head “Ooh, no I'll never get over you until I find something new, that get me high like you do. Listen to my heart go ba-do, boo'd up. Biddy-da-do, boo'd up” we both laughed as Robyn kissed my lips, placing my hand behind her neck and deepening the kiss. I can feel Robyn’ moan against my lips and it’s going straight to my dick, she is sat on my lap too. Oh this is too public, moving my hand back. I need to stop, Robyn bit her bottom lip laughing, she has no lipgloss on her lips because it’s on me. Robyn reached over to the table and grabbed the bottle of Hennessy, she drank from the bottle and then turned to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and started kissing me again, I stopped because it’s getting heated, but she wanted to do more, feeling the contents of the Hennessy enter my mouth. I need to unglue Robyn from me, I laughed and moved back “you just put that drink in my mouth” I said through every kiss she is continuing to give me, she is not stopping.

I am trying to be the good one here, I am just trying to make sure Robyn is good because she is really getting drunk “are you done peeing or you going to continue to sit there and smile?” Robyn is sat on the toilet smiling to herself “aye, sit back down. You not wiped your butt” I chuckled, pulling some tissue out and holding it out “oh yeah” Robyn giggled, we need to hurry up because we blocked the lady’s toilet. Looking around me and then looking back at Robyn “done, am I sitting on a public toilet?” nodding my head “come” Robyn got up from the toilet seat “I feel so happy Chris, oh my god. I feel so happy right now, I just want to party and be with you” watching her pull her panties up “I know, come” she stubbled out of the cubicle, pulling her dress down “wash, wash, wash. Is my ass showing” Robyn mumbled, looking at the mirror. Robyn is staring at me, and I am just staring at her “you good, I got you babe” stepping back sighing out “dry, dry, dry” Robyn is chatting so much shit, she is making me laugh “mhmmm I want to blow your back out” pulling a face at Robyn “my back out? What the hell, Robyn just dry your damn hands” she is crazy.

Picking my snapback and shades from the seat “watch yourself” grabbing Robyn’ arm and helped her to sit down “I am good Chris” turning around “I am going to go and pee Robyn, I will be back” I shouted over the music “be back quick” I just wanted Robyn to be ok, pecking Robyn’ lips “love you so much” placing my snapback on my head as I walked off, tapping Rich’ arm as I walked by him. Placing my shades over my eyes, Drake is giving me so many looks, I know that nigga is jealous as fuck. Looking over to his section, he is watching me. See what I mean about Drake, he is staring at me “sorry” hitting into someone, looking in front of me “oh sorry” my face softened “not you” I said, now why is India Love here “I was going to the bathroom too, don’t be shy now” shaking my head walking around her “hey” she touched my arm “I am happy for you, I see how Robyn is all over you. She loves you” rolling my eyes “just leave me alone, I ain’t for that” shaking my head “she better keep you close though; you are so fine. You keep getting better” she is following behind me saying that “cool” walking into the men’s bathroom, I need her to leave me.

Smiling wide seeing my wife just sat waiting “beautiful” I mouthed at her, Robyn held her arms out to me “miss me” leaning down and hugging her “can we go home now” she said in my ear, sitting down at the side of her “we can” she got up from where she sat and grabbed the bottle again, sitting on my lap as she held the bottle, I laughed licking my lips and I can see India right there looking at me, she is really bugging like wow. I can’t believe she came to the club knowing I was here, what did she expect from this, did she want me to cheat. I don’t get it “open your mouth” looking up at Robyn “mhmm” opening my mouth and she of course poured the drink in my mouth; she then moved the bottle back and started drinking it. Hennessy about to get this woman all the way fucked up, well both of us actually, Robyn wrapped her arms around my neck and then started to kiss on my neck “let’s go Chris” she moaned out “I want to fuck you” feeling her tongue dragged across my neck and then she latched onto my earlobe, closing my eyes feeling so turned on. I am so glad my shades are on because this so fucking good, my dick is getting hard “ok, ok, ok. Let’s go, stop” Robyn moved back and got up, she is crazy this women “take some drinks babe” she is here collecting the drinks and cups, this is my wife right here. Fixing my overalls, pulling at my crotch area. I am getting hard, looking over at India. She is watching out every move, she ain’t going to stop either “going!?” Rich shouted, nodding my head.

Robyn is a mess; she is a real ass fucking mess. Dropped the bottles she was holding and they all smashed and now is upset that she has done it “it’s ok, Rich. I want to get her in the car, Robyn. Stop, you need to sober up” near tripping over Robyn trying to get her out “get the key out of my pocket” I said to rich, Robyn turned around and wanted to go back in “no, we can get more drink. It’s fine” placing my arm around my neck and then lifting Robyn up, this is the best way to get Robyn into the car because she is playing hell right now “but the bottles, I promised I would keep them” she is really emotional about it too “you both had a nice night!?” the paparazzi guy said, I laughed rushing to the car “watch out” making my way around the car, Rich held the door open for me “just relax, we good. We can buy more” she is so emotional, closing the car door “drive” making my way around, Rich can drive because I am tipsy a little “are you both going to be making baby number two tonight, that display inside” I laughed out “I don’t recall that at all” getting into the car, I am so glad to be out of there “hotel Rich” looking behind me at Robyn “hey” reaching over touching her hand “why are you crying? It’s bottles?” she is a wreck “I was supposed to take care of them” of course, let me leave her to it at the moment.

I fed Robyn and gave her some water, bought her more bottles that she is happy with. She seems content now, I just went inside the hotel to book us in. I didn’t want to do it with Robyn with me, she has drama following her with those damn bottles “done it, oh you out of the car” Rich is laughing “she got out on her own” jogging over to her quickly “come on now baby, dress down” pulling her dress down “so we carrying the bottles? Thanks Rich” taking the bag from him “we good from here” I swear a drunk Robyn is funny “I got to take them to bed” licking my top lip laughing “nice, catch you later Rich” waving him off “what about me, you not taking me to bed?” I asked “my feet hurt” the security outside is just staring at Robyn “what your babies called? Mel and Rihanna?” Robyn laughed out “yeah you right” I sighed out, I am not sure if I am getting pussy tonight “come here” holding Robyn’ arms and turning her to sit down “we can take shoes off yes” placing her bag down and crouching down “how the hell you take these off?” my eyes widened sighing out “wow” these sandals, looking up at Robyn. She placed one of the bottles down and reached out to grab my shades off “better” I am sure it is for her; I like them on to be honest.

Placing Robyn’ bags and sandals down on the floor on the suite, she is wild as hell “be careful, don’t go to the balcony” taking my snapback off, we have a nice little balcony, but I don’t trust her drunk ass near it “Robyn, come here” waving her over, sitting on the edge of the bed sighing out. I am tired so I don���t know about sex which I mean yes I want it but she is just out of it, but we do have a lifetime of it, she has had fun so that is good. My ears perked up hearing the sliding of the door, I shot up so quick. Seeing Robyn actually going onto the balcony, jogging over to Robyn “and what did I say” wrapping my arm around her torso and pulling her back inside “noooo” she whined out “I said no myself, you will stay indoors Robyn. I do not want you on the balcony now stop” sliding it closed, Robyn broke free from my arm and then fell onto the floor. I am going to be taking care of an animal I see “come on” picking her up from the floor but does not want to be helped, she moved away from me again but this time she fell over the bed and rolled off and onto the floor “I am leaving you there now” staring down at her, Robyn groaned out and then turned onto her side “oh my god” I turned away from her being sick on the floor, not how I wanted this at all but also I want to know she isn’t choking on her sick either “this is what happens when you keep jumping around, this is nasty” now I have to clean this.

[not-a-christmas-tree]

i watched the dallas theater company les mis and here are my observations part TWO

i recently watched a modern adaptation of les mis from 2014! i took hella notes bc les mis being set in modern day has a LOT MORE than you would think! i just posted my act one notes, so here are the ones from act two. enjoy! :D

ACT TWO

(Building The Barricade)

oh javert,,,you and your red beret-scarf combo

everyone shakes hands the same way?? they all like. half bro hug. young people ig 🤷‍♀️ 

oh on my own is gonna hurt me huh

éponine has her hands up when she goes to take the letter to cosette that’s an interesting take

jvj looks so done lmao “really bruh just give me the letter i’ll give it to cosette it’s FINE”

omg first time i’ve ever seen éponine not take the money after the letter!! that actually makes so much sense bc she doesn’t take marius’ money when he asks her to find cosette’s house either. that,,,yes that’s good

the modern era begs the question... why didn’t marius just ask for cosette’s number?? i’d assume it’s just a thing that jvj doesn’t allow her to have a phone bc The Cops, but. maybe marius and cosette are the straight version of cottagecore lesbians they just write letters for ~The Aesthetic~

(On My Own)

i was right on my own was gonna hurt me

first time i’ve ever seen an éponine disguise where she actually passes as a boy lmao 

FINALLY A VERSION OF OMO WHERE ITS NOT JUST FORLORN SELF-CARESSING THANK YOU

surprisingly i have less notes here that’s fun i thought i’d have more

(Javert at the Barricades)

WOAHHHHH THEY DID NOT SKIMP ON BARRICADE SET PIECES THAT SHIT IS COOOOOL

oh the barricade scenes are already hitting too hard 

cops are in riot gear cops. are in. riot gear.

oh the javert spy thing that also hits funny because obviously

gavroche is armed with a bat i love you son

FULL VERSION OF LITTLE PEOPLE AT THE BARRICADE AYEEEEE

(A Little Fall Of Rain)

wait hold on why is marius not,,,singing to éponine on “why have you come back here?” he’s like. scolding someone,,, huh??

oh enj goes to help marius with ép!! and he calls over who i assume would be joly i STAN

MARIUS CRIES AFTER ÉP DIES KILL MEEEE

(The First Attack)

i like how jvj does the second confrontation here. he looks less angry and more like,,,compassionate and that MAKES SENSE bc yk. he’s telling javert he’s wrong but he’s not doing it out of spite he’s doing it bc this guy NEEDS to know what he does as a cop and realize that being a cop isn’t just enforcing rules, and it never was just that. 

i do love the exasperated “gO” from jvj that’s kinda great ngl

(Drink With Me)

i’m very sad that there won’t be any exr from these boys

v e r y sad here

i do see grantaire looking PRETTY sad though

bold of y’all to assume that the modern day amis would all be straight

okay i can tell that grantaire really is going hard on the Existential Singing like,,,sure he’s just standing there but like. damn bro

SO THERE A R E LADIES ON THE BARRICADE WHY TF ARENT THEY FIGHTING

BETTER SEE SOME CHANGE THERE

i just realized that the cockades are buttons that is the BEST

(Bring Him Home)

jvj actually looks kinda happy in BHH and tbh i kinda like it?? it’s only on the “he’s like the son i might have known” line but i like it

oh those vowels oh boy they TALL

(The Final Battle)

enjolras is for some reason, still angry...why...why bro....

the staging for gavroche’s death is INTERESTING bc he’s reaching up at the sniper on the tower. hm. i dont hate it

OH SOMEONE ON THE BARRICADE IS RECORDING I THINK!!! GOOD ADDITION!!

i can’t imagine how many blood packs they went through 

oh enjolras’s death okay so. he’s in a like. No Man’s Land almost, and the riot cops come in after him. it’s an interesting take because it almost mirrors the scene in the book, except obvs grantaire isn’t here. they also have an added scene after he dies where cops are checking out and using radios that is. that is EERIE.

jvj walks over to enjolras’s body 🥺

HE ALSO FUCKIN S C R E A M S WHEN HE SEES MARIUS ON THE GROUND GODDAMN MAN O U C H

thenardier steals combeferre’s glasses wow thanks for that added pain

thenardier and jvj have a mini fight oh that’s kinda cool hm

(Javert’s Soliliquy)

javert opens his soliloquy with some SPICY SADNESS OH B O Y he sounds broken already!! start strong!!

emotions go broken - anger - confusion? - mAJOR confusion - hopelessness 

javert can FLY! no legit he’s on ropes

(Turning)

turning is. turning is almost a funeral. 

OH THEYRE N U N S !

nuns are visiting the barricade 🥺 

OH DAMN “what’s the use of praying if there’s nobody who hears?” THAT CERTAINLY HAS WEIGHT NOW THAT THEY ARE N U N S

it has just occurred to me that people have been dead on the floor for like. a solid five minutes 

(Empty Chairs At Empty Tables)

“now my friends. are dead. and gone” he pauses like he’s realizing it just then oh OUCHIE

wait is marius,,,at the barricades? is he legit singing to his friends dead bodies? oh shit oh NO

OH N O OH NONONO THIS IS WORSE

THE BARRICADE BOYS RISE UP FROM THE FLOOR OH N O OUCH OUCH

they group up and salute him and wALK OFF NO OWWWW

*cosette and marius kiss* jvj: *COUGH COUGH*

marius and valjean’s lil conversation is interesting in the way valjean seems to ask marius “who am i?” rather than ask himself. he phrases it in a way that makes me think he’s like. quizzing marius lmao 

(The Wedding)

omg i think baby cosette and éponine are flower girls 🥺🥺

“go away thenardier” *madame mouths ‘dammit!’*

thenardier your boat shoes hurt me

madame: “get up! get up!” thenardier: “stop—STOP IT!” 

TWO GUYS ARE DANCING TOGETHER AND WAVE AT THENARDIER ON “this ones a queer, but what can you do”

yeah i think i found my new favorite thenardiers thank you dallas theater company

fantine sits on the bench when cosette comes by, cosette sits on bench next to her, and fantine tries to touch her but can’t 🥺

jvj just gave a hand-over-heart head nod to cosette but fantine gave it back i,,,ouch

ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE ARE WITH FANTINE AND ÉPONINE FOR JVJ’S DEATH

the chain gang is in the epilogue i repeat the cHAIN GANG IS IN THE EPILOGUE

the orchestra rests on the last “say do you hear the distant drums” and that was the coolest thing i’ve ever heard

that final harmony is MONEYYYY and i want to cry

OVERALL NOTES:

this javert has the most interesting interpretation because up until his FINAL SCENE he is the stone cold police officer, and he plays it SO WELL. like i have never been truly angry at a javert up until this guy, and whether that was because it was modern and resonates A LOT in 2020 or he just looks like a cop i want to punch, I DON’T KNOW but he plays it SO WELL and i love it so much!!

these thenardiers are the fucking BEST NGL they are the perfect mix of funny and cruel. madame t is also funny as HELL and i wish i had her talent lmao

i said it before but the police costumes in this show are. woosh. kudos to the costumer i took one look at those guys and was like “haha, no!.” vaguely related to that, i think this was the first time i nearly cried at Look Down like. the first song at the show, simply because of the convict getting the SHIT beat out of him on the floor. that hurt me and i hate that it is completely accurate to what happens in prisons today.

lovely ladies was,,,a LOT and tbh, i feel like it didn’t need to be. obviously it does show how horrible it is for sex workers, but that is why the music is there. the music and lyrics is there to tell what you don’t show visually. (though i do love the male prostitute lmao he took no shit)

i also said this before but the fact that there wasn’t bigger of a relationship between enjolras and grantaire kind of annoys me simply because they are revolutionaries in the present day. you can’t tell me that ALL OF THEM WERE STRAIGHT. with how many people i know now that identify under the queer and trans umbrella, and also how queer they are (to me) in the brick, the absence of any exr in a modern interpretation hurts a little.

in conclusion, this show was fucking FANTASTIC and even though i’m six years late, it still resonates hard given the time we live in today. i think i nearly screamed when i saw the cops in riot gear on the barricade because that is LITERALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. this just reminds me how timeless the story of les mis is because you had to change LITERALLY NOTHING from the story to make it make sense in the modern age, and that is really the lesson you should learn from les mis; these things happen everywhere, and they need to be fixed. 

thank you for listening to my rambling, i am sure i forgot something because there was just so damn much but i hope you enjoyed otherwise! not-a christmas-tree out! :)

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

38. Part 2

My mom gasped “Robbie, why are you crying?” I sniffled wiping the tear that left, I am so stupid, but I feel highly emotional about that, he really called me mom like oh my god “what happened? Was it Chris?” My mom rubbed my back “not that, just” Mel walked over all concerned that I am being this way, I am so emotional about this “Aeko didn’t want to go with Chris, I have told Chris off about his behaviour but I have told Chris and Aeko didn’t understand that he was the one going, he was hiding behind my legs. He called me moqrm!” I spat, Mel gasped “no way!?” she spat “yeah, he called me Bobyn mom, like I am just feeling all sorts of things right now, he called me mom. What did I do to deserve such a title” placing my hand over my chest “oh god” noticing Dennis is recording, of course he is “that is because you have took the place of his mother, you have showered him with love and care, this is all he wants. All he wanted was someone that believed in him and you did, he feels it. Awww my baby, you are such a good woman” my mom hugged me, I just don’t know what I deserved to have such a title, mom “that is beautiful” Mel rubbed my back “I just don’t think I deserved it, like I was just doing what I thought was right. You know, god. It’s really hit my heart. I don’t want to ever take someone’s child away, that is not the case but I am pretty shocked about it. Chris was like you what? He really wanted to stay with me” I breathed out moving back from my mom “that has to be the highlight of my life at this moment, like people don’t know the full story. I don’t know the full story but to have a child call you mom, it’s just a highlight” god, I am so much in shock that he did, bless his heart.

I am not even sure how to react to it “what would you do mom? Like should I allow him to call me that? Should I tell him no, please help me mom?” I asked, I am not sure of it at all “do you feel uncomfortable with it? I mean if he sees you as Bobyn mom then who are you to correct him, you got to be a good person to get such a title Robyn. You are so good, a little too good and I think you should let him. If his mother wants to battle you then so be it, but I don’t think she has much of a case. She has done a number on that child; he shouldn’t feel that way. Not even with Chris, where is Jah?” my mom asked “he has gone with them, Aeko wouldn’t go without him. I have spoken to Chris about being more kind to him, he needs it. I am so overjoyed, like it’s weird. I am used to him looking at me with those big brown eyes, he’s there more then he is Chris at times. He is so loving, and I hate them two idiots, she uses him as a pawn, and he thinks of him as a waste of time because that’s her son. It’s not that, I don’t even care for that. They both need to grow up, I am not even playing anymore. I want them both to fucking grow up, but I don’t see it, but anyways. I need to prepare for my meetings” I breathed out “I hope Chris listens to you, Jah will tell us anyways” Mel is right, Jah will tell us.

I can’t believe this little nigga really called Robyn mom, is he feeling ok. I am unsure on even how to feel about that because he shouldn’t say that, who the hell even put that idea in his mind in the first place “infamous Chris Brown home, I seen this shit in picture. Seeing it in person, shit is crazy” Shem said as I unlocked the door “welcome, come in. Make yourself comfortable, don’t ask for anything. You do what you need to do” walking into my home “shit is wild Chris, I love your home!” this is why I don’t want to sell it, this home is like a masterpiece, it doesn’t deserve anyone to have it besides me, I get to have my own shit here and decorate the outside when I want, I don’t think I will be ever selling it, I will keep it whether Robyn likes it or not “you can use the studio, whatever you want. Make yourself home” Stephan dapped me “thank you, it’s like staying at an entertainment park bro, amazing” they are looking around in shock, my home is a masterpiece “you want to go and play?” I asked Aeko, he is holding onto Jah’ hand firmly “yes I do daddy” Jah said on his behalf “nigga, shut up!” I laughed “come, you know this home now. Don’t be sad” he knows this home so he don’t need the acting this way at all, I picked him up whether he likes it or not, he didn’t react badly at all, he let me pick him up.

Watching him throw the basketball “you got it, go on. Here” holding the ball out as he threw it at the hoop “oh wow, you nearly had it there” picking the ball “Look” throwing it and it fell into the hoop “now Aeko does it” grabbing another ball for him “I do it” he said as he took it from me, grabbing him up and aiming up at the hoop so he can easily put it in “there we go! Yay! Aeko did it” putting him down on the floor “I did it!” he yelped out, I chuckled nodding my head “you did” he clapped his hands “I play car, I go here” he ran to the Mario Kart machine “yeah we can play on that, sit on the seat. You want to play with him” I asked Jah “no, you can. He wants his dad too” Aeko sat back on the seat “your little legs won’t reach, so how about you sit on my lap and we play with Jah?” I just realised his legs won’t reach the pedals; he nodded his head. Picking him up from the seat, sitting down and placing him on my lap “you hold the steering wheel, and I will do the pedals ok?” Aeko nodded his head already grabbing the steering wheel ready to play “you better let me win Chris” Jah said, he probably will win because Aeko is steering. Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, grabbing my phone from my pocket and seeing that my mom facetiming me “one minute” I said to him, answering the facetime call. Aeko looked at my phone, his face just got in the way “I want my son back Chris!” Ammikka snatched the phone from my mom “what son?” I said laughing, is she crazy “you blocked my number, you blocked me on Instagram. You stole my son and I want him back!” she barked, it made me laugh “right” she is really crying wolf right now “Aeko you want to speak to momma?” I asked, he turned away from the steering wheel “mommy” he looked at the phone “no” he legit refused, I gasped “wow, you don’t want her?” putting the camera down “Bobyn momma, she shouts. Mean” he pointed at my phone “does she? What she say?” I asked “daddy not want me, she cry and she make me cry. She hit me” my eyes widened, Ammikka is screaming on this phone “hit you? Really, why baby” this is some shit “she not want me, she want erm” he turned in my lap “let’s play!” he totally just ignored that “you hit my son you dumb bitch” bringing the phone up “he acts like you, a whole fool” disconnecting the facetime “wow, she is a bad mother” Jah said, I didn’t know she like hits him.

Let me try something “we can play, lets try something” tapping on Robyn’ name to connect the facetime “that is fucked up Chris if he is saying that, hey Aeko. Did mommy hurt you?” Jah asked him, waiting for this facetime to connect “Bobyn?” my son said, he is something else “no, not Bobyn. Mommy that was on the facetime, the mean one” Aeko held his arm up “there, she pull cause I not walk fast” it connected finally “what is it? I am in a meeting, I hope it’s nothing bad” Robyn looks all flustered “send nudes” I said laughing “nigga, I will come there and kick you. Don’t be stupid” she is not in the mood “Aeko, look. Who is this” turning the screen so he can see, he turned in my lap “Bobyn, hi!” he clapped smiling “hey baby, are you having fun or is daddy being annoying like this” I was trying to test this out, seeing the drop down notification from my mom “oh god” I said as I read it “the bitch called the police on me, Robyn I got to go” least my mom warned me “huh, Chris what!?” Robyn spat “the bitch is playing up, she has phoned the police on me, she is claiming I kidnapped Aeko when I really didn’t, the bitch gave up the right. I need to call Mark; I will keep in touch” Robyn was going to speak but I disconnected the call “she phoning the police on you!? You have all that proof she didn’t want him” nodding my head, I know damn well she ain’t trying it. There is one thing my mom has done and has warned me about this, now I can prepare myself for the storm that will come and they will search my home because she will say I am on drugs, I know her and that is the only thing she got on me.

I totally forgot that Royalty is coming but she is here with Nia “so what is happening?” Stephan asked “this is why you don’t impregnant bitches, I was so out of it and I didn’t even know. She didn’t want my son and now she does, she is doing it to cause problems because they hate me anyways, the police will come and search my home now, watch. Just relax, you good” Royalty ran inside “hey big girl, look at you” hugging her as I placed my phone against my ear “and you got your hair braided!? I love it, you are so pretty” Mark answered my call “are you coming? Like are you close, I know they going to be here soon so I need you here” I am panicking a little “I am coming son” he said, disconnecting the call “Nia, this is Stephan. A friend, uhm did you see any police out there!?” I asked her, Nia shook her head “no why? Don’t tell me there is trouble coming” I sighed out heavily, tapping on my photos and going to the messages she has sent me “look at this shit, she threw Aeko to me and is now claiming I stole him” Nia took my phone, picking up Royalty “you getting too tall for this baby, I missed you so much. My twin, don’t you think?” turning to Stephan “she is, hi princess” Royalty waved “daddy, are you in trouble?” I chuckled “mhmm I am not sure yet” I chuckled “seriously!? Keep these messages Chris, I cannot believe she is doing this to you, that is mean to him” Nia said “she literally let him travel with a random woman with no clothes or anything, I am just fed up. My lawyer is coming anyways” putting Royalty down, my daughter is getting too big for me now, she is tall as hell.

Robyn is wanting to come here but I told her not too, I can handle it. Mark is here now too, Nia and Jah so kindly taken the kids to another room so Aeko and Royalty don’t need to see this shit “she is fucked bro, not going to lie. What made you think to impregnant her?” Shem asked “she wasn’t like this, she was quiet. She jumped when I said jump, she was a puppet to me but she is heartbroken, she wanted me to play happy families with her and I wasn’t happy” she is now just being drama but she will learn “Chris” Mark said walking over to me “I have spoke to the police, they still want to sweep over the house but they have no rights to remove Aeko. I have shown the messages, there is no foul play so if the gentleman calmly can look around and they can be on their way, I will file a restraining order on Ammikka and we will need to go to court, full custody of him. She is screaming murder out there alone; she has no money to even have a lawyer, but we will get her removed. And I will file the paperwork and get this rolling quickly” nodding my head, the officers walked in “please” Mark gestured “I thought you wasn’t going to go for full custody?” Mark asked “yeah when I called you I uhm didn’t, but I need to do right by my son. He is unhappy with her so; I am going to do it. I have a good home Mark, I am married. I have a family, stability. I can do it” Mark smiled at me “I believe you can son, but the restraining order needs to be done as soon as possible. I don’t want her jumping to do something else and blaming you” Mark is right, she is unhappy with herself, so I do not want her to be doing something to get me in trouble.

The officers found nothing; I mean I knew that anyways “you American police move differently brother” Stephan said pointing at the officer “you think I would let some officer without any papers come in my home, brother I would knock your block off bro” this is why I like him “thank you Chris” the officer said walking off “will you be escorting the lady from the premises please, I will come with you” Mark walked off with them, I am so glad that bitch did not get the chance to see me at all, the best thing I did was have Mark here, she couldn’t even get to me at all, not only has she lost her son but she ain’t about to get no money from me, this is a good day “welcome to my life” I sighed out walking off, let me get them to come out now. Nia is good peoples, she stayed behind which she didn’t need too “I still think you should knock his block off” Stephan said, I laughed at him because I wish I could “y’all can come out now, coast is clear. That was fun wasn’t it?” I chuckled “dad are you being naughty again? Rihanna won’t like it” Royalty said, she is being deadass too “you better relax, I ain’t do anything. This is grown folk business now, thank you Nia for waiting behind. I will drop this girl off before Monday, so Sunday night” Royalty pulled a face “where is Riri? Why isn’t she here?” Nia snorted laughing “she has been counting the days down to see Rihanna, good luck to you. Be good for your dad now, seriously” Nia pointed at Royalty.

Aeko and Royalty really be going at it, like I think Royalty doesn’t have the patience and Aeko continues to touch her stuff “hold the mic while I put this on” Royalty and this karaoke shit “can I be next?” Jah said “me and Chris, it’s Jahleel featuring Chris Brown” I chuckled at him “I don’t mind that, we can be after. Come on you two” my son doesn’t look happy to be there “I am Royalty Brown, and this is? Say it!” she shouted “Aeko” she groaned out “and I am going to sing what’s my name, and Aeko you can be Drake” Jah screamed out laughing, like I don’t know whether to laugh or cry “what?” I said half laughing as Jah screamed out, like these niggas are laughing at me “listen dad, I am Rihanna obviously and he is Drake so let’s go!” I can’t even be angry “can’t you just do something else? My god” pulling a face “oh my god, this has really made me cry. Oh god, Aeko you make a beautiful Drake, you go boo” Jah waved her off, Royalty chooses the worst things on earth. Watching the video play in the back, Aeko looked behind him and he dropped the mic “Bobyn!” he pointed, I just remembered he doesn’t actually know the singer she is supposed to be “Bobyn!” he shouted jumping up and down “it’s Rihanna Aeko” Royalty said “no it Bobyn, dad. It Bobyn” he ran to me “it is” he sat next to me “you’re supposed to be singing with me?” Royalty said but it’s too late, Aeko is entranced by Robyn being on TV “I have never seen such a genuine excitement on someone’s face, he has heart eyes. I can’t believe he doesn’t know Rihanna, like this is so new to him” Jah said “why doesn’t he know Rihanna?” Royalty asked, “because he doesn’t know her like that, and he calls her Bobyn, so let him” Royalty is not pleased.

Skipping the Kiss it Better video for him and then it went to Diamonds, we are going back to the home to eat and then we have to go back but I found a new way to keep him entertained, by playing Rihanna on YouTube and putting headphones on him, he is so intrigued by it, I think he is in disbelieve that she is singing and she is on Youtube, he is so whipped, like me “thank you for earlier” I said to Jah “for coming, breaking that barrier down. Like I know I am not the best person, I fucked up. I want to make it right; I think we are going to be good. It’s kind of pains me to know he felt that way, she was really bad to him” Jah smiled at me “it’s not a problem, I think we can gather why she only wanted him and treated him good for. She wanted you, she didn’t get you so why be nice to the seed. I think she is unstable. She got played at her own game, she only got herself to blame now. Even if the courts don’t give you full custody. Least you will get the right type of custody of him, it needed to happen. He has so much to learn, I enjoy him” that is nice of him “I need to let that guard down, I need to enjoy him” I can see why they love him.

Helping Aeko out of the car, Royalty ran like her life depended on it and I felt for Aeko because she will not let him get peace now. Aeko also ran off, my kids don’t want me anymore “this home is so damn busy” I kind of hate it, not going to lie. She also has Rich and Frank living here, I hate it. like clockwork, of course I hear the cries of Aeko. It was going to happen “I have been counting down the days Rihanna! Oh my god” Royalty is hugging Robyn of course, Aeko is on the floor crying “do you want to cry too?” Robyn said laughing, side eyeing Robyn as I leaned down to pick him up “what is wrong huh?” he pointed at Robyn “I hug Bobyn” he is out of breath “you can hug her Aeko, calm down. You got to share now” putting him down “what is wrong with you, there is enough hugs to go around. Come here” Robyn hugged Aeko “it’s ok, calm down” she rubbed his back “did you have a good time with daddy huh” I really prefer London right now, this home is just getting on top of me, it’s like everyone is here and watching “I see you dance” he pointed at Robyn laughing “me?” Robyn laughed “he has found out about the singer Rihanna” Jah said “oh that old thang, I joke. You like it?” he nodded his head.

Sneaking off to the kitchen, Mel is showing Royalty Fenty so I can sneak off for a little while. Seeing Robyn with her mom cooking, running around the counter “what I say about you coming in this kitchen” Monica caught me before I even got to Robyn “I know but, please. Just two minutes, it’s just time. Robyn is always busy, please” Monica shook her head “go on then” grabbing Robyn’ hand, the dining room will be a good place to hide right now. I am running hoping no child clocks Robyn, now Majesty is here, this is hell for me. Closing the door and turning to Robyn “I miss you so much, and I just can’t wait to have sex with you. I am sick of not having time with you, it’s not fair. It’s just kids, on kids. I miss you so much” Robyn looked taken a back “I thought you was enjoying this Cali freedom” hugging Robyn close, she wrapped her arms around my neck “I miss us” Robyn said, it’s been a while where I can just hold Robyn without anyone interrupting. Her attention is all mine, she is busy and I don’t like it now “I knew I would be busy here Chris, doesn’t stop me thinking about you” Robyn moved back from the hug, pressing a kiss against my lips “I just miss us being alone now, it’s wack. You know, I miss your face. I miss your body the most, I have not had the chance to really just have you to myself like that” Robyn smiled at me lightly staring at my face “I am wanting sex so badly now, I know my pussy is crying. We will make time for each other, but you didn’t get in trouble right? You called Mark” nodding my head “let’s not think of anything or anybody, just us” I miss it, I just miss us “maybe we can think of getting a nanny, so we can have more us time? Don’t you think?” Robyn pulled a face, doesn’t like the idea at all “in London we’re ok, we don’t need it” I guess that is a no.

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 25: 1x25 Devil in the Dark

This episode truly is one of the greats. Like I remember that about it, and yet it is also always even better than expected.

I forgot how many nifty 50s looking painted background this show had, but they’re really beautiful.

The Enterprise is coming to save the day!

Wow that random miner was right, his phaser was useless.

See, the Horta tried to destroy just the machines first; she was being very nice and reasonable.

Something “big and shaggy” lol. Well, I guess that’s sort of accurate?

Jim looked so smug when Ed Appel said he was tough. “Oh yeah I am, I’m tough and I have a big ship.”

Spock, stop playing with that egg! I know it’s very aesthetically pleasing.

I feel like Spock doesn’t like Vanderberg very much.

Acid monster!

I’m glad they explain why exactly this pergium stuff is important because otherwise it just looks like “well capitalism must go on” as opposed to “this resource is used to keep whole planets functioning and without it people die.”

What a smart Horta. Taking the machine that the mean people use to survive.

Spock legitimately seems so amused by this whole thing. I love that particular Spock attitude: fascinated and slightly detached.

I love Scotty. “Yeah, I can make that old, obscure, outdated part myself.” What a nerd.

Spock’s still thinking about that pretty purple ball.

Silicon based life, you say. That’s an interesting concept. Kind of forgot that was part of the whole Horta thing.

Phaser one and Phaser two.... what a good retcon of why they have two different phaser designs.

Spock finally gets to be right about stuff!

“You seem fascinated by this rock.”

“Dr. McCoy’s been mean enough to me today, I don’t want to say anymore.” Spock’s bullying flashbacks lol.

I distinctly remember a meme using this exact shot of Kirk and the line of red shirts and the line “I want no more deaths” in the subtitles.

I love these cave sets.

So they discover that the Horta would make very good tunnels for them.

It’s an ASBESTOS monster??? That didn’t age well.

The last of a race of creatures... to kill it would be a crime against science.

This is like the salt vampire but with a happy ending.

Kirk doesn’t have a lot of sympathy for random creatures, at least not in the abstract. He always wants to protect his people first.

I love that Spock was JUST TOLD they were going to kill it and then he's like "Yeah but what if we captured it instead don't tell the Captain?"

This scene is hilarious because it starts with Kirk telling Spock “who’s the Captain here?” and then very quickly pivots to Jim being protective of Spock, and then this comical interlude with the math, and then Jim just being really turned on by Spock and the math. A little amused but also really in love.

Did Jim... memorize the chart? He just knows where all the tunnels go.

The Horta looks kind of like an ugly muppet.

Jim acknowledging Vulcan telepathy/mind melding as a very personal and intimate thing for Vulcans, and very difficult, because it involves taking down mental barriers.... very interesting. Very, very interesting.

She’s in agony because you took a big old chunk out of her YOU HEATHENS.

Love that Kirk calls McCoy to care for “a patient” without specifying who it is lol.

I love McCoy’s face when he watches Spock meld with the Horta. Like he doesn’t know what kind of nonsense this is but he’s also impressed. Like “Spock and the Horta are So Dramatic...but that’s pretty cool he can do that.”

Kirk is ready to kill for the Horta.

As am I.

She’s the mother of her race... intelligent, peaceful, mild.

Lol at “why are they down here?” / “This is where they live!” Why do you think they’re done here, fool?

Jim is very fond of Bones too. He can cure a rainy day!

Also not to get into it but like I was legit thinking about Sevin a bit during that scene.

What a happy ending. Everyone gets what they want. A good partnership. Lots of little Hortas.

Most unbelievable thing about this episode is how Kirk and Bones pretend that they don’t understand why the Horta liked Spock’s ears.

Fuck this was such a good ep. Lots of Kirk being a great captain, ordering people around, coming up with plans, being authoritative, gathering information, but also caring about people, and aliens, defending the innocent, brokering peace. I loved the way he just knelt down and talked to the Horta when he found her. Just showing he was open to communicating.

And an excellent Space Husbands ep too. Like generally I don’t think they actually got together until post-5 year mission / TMP but this is one of those episodes that you could read as like an established relationship. Spock calling Kirk “Sir” a lot just to really conspicuously switch to “Jim” later. Two distinct scenes where they are being protective of each other. Spock’s “Screw science, kill it now” attitude when Jim is in danger.

Got some good triumvirate action in there too.

Good science fiction.

A story that is well plotted and well paced, without loose ends, and an ending that is satisfying both from a story telling and a...happiness point of view.

Cannot believe I’ve watched 25 episodes of Star Trek over roughly 25 weeks.

Next up is Errand of Mercy. The first Klingon episode, I guess? A good one, and an excellent K/S one, even if the Klingons are, in general, meh.

[iminyourhandskara]

Chris Wood on FatMan Beyond with Kevin Smith and Marc Bernardin. (Full interview transcript)

A MASSIVE, MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @bwaybenoist WHO HELPED ME A LOT WITH THIS. ❤❤❤❤

to the anon who requested this, and for whoever wants to read this, enjoy!

__________________

Kevin: One of my favorite people in the world, man. If you're lucky enough, you get to work with people you like, and I met this kid on a set and most people on sets, you know, 'not necessarily all likable and stuff like that.

Marc: Careful.

Kevin: Yeah. (indistinct) This kid ain't just likable, he's fucking lovable, man. I was like, goddamn it, I fell in love with him the way I fell in love with Ben Affleck, where I'm like "You should be in everything! Fuckin, you should play Fletch." I still to this day think he'd be the perfect Fletch based on the Gregory McDonald books. When we got lucky enough to work on Masters of the Universe from Mattel on Netflix, I, you know, there was always a like "We could probably get a big cast for this" and stuff, so I played very few cards in terms of like "Well, here's who I think you could get and stuff like that" because Netflix, Mattel, these cats putting up the money, they should tell us who they want and stuff and Teddy who's our Netflix exec, he loves MOTU, so like casting of course with Netflix, the ability to draw talent is gonna be right up his alley. But one of the only names I put forward in the process..I was like “I worked with Chris Wood, and he is SO good, like he would be an excellent Prince Adam and He-Man as well of course, but like, can I put him on the list?” and they put him on the list, and you know, I thought that was gonna be it, “Kevin made a suggestion and we’ll put him in there and then it will never happen.” And he got the job, legit got the job. Mattel loved him, Netflix loved him, boom, he’s our prince Adam! So, here tonight, you got him? Here tonight, man..*Skype sound* Making a little chit-chat, that’s the sound of joy. That means we’re gonna talk to a guest, we get to open the door and welcome to Fatman Beyond, uh, He-Man himself, ladies and gentleman, Prince Adam, I give you..Chris Wood.

Chris: Oh my goodness.

Marc: Look at that intro.

Kevin: And look at that pretty ass man, look at how pretty he is.

Chris: *Plays Jellicle Cats from CATS*

Kevin: Somebody’s been listening to the show!

Chris: Reminiscing about..the Winter Garden Theater.

Kevin: This is actually..I was gonna say..

Chris: My first Broadway show I ever saw, Kevin!

K: Was CATS?

C: Was CATS!

K: I totally forgot as we were sitting here, going “Nobody’s gonna care about us talking about Broadway.” There’s one guy waiting to be on the show who was like “I’d love it if it was all--”

C: I was having the time of my life! This was like Batman, Broadway edition, I loved it.

K: Give us the full rundown of every Broadway show that you’ve ever seen, and when you say Broadway, do you mean--

C: I mean, I mean Broadway.

K: You mean like seeing it on Broadway, not just live theater.

C: No man, that’s where I got my start, that was my whole...the stage was my whole thing. You’d have to sit here for like three hours to hear all of the shows I ever saw..

K: Are you serious? So wait you-

C: It’s got a soft place in my heart still.

K: You uhm, I remember when I was working on Supergirl, at one point Melissa was just like: “He was in Sweeney Todd!” and I was like “What?” Were you in Sweeney Todd?

C: It’s true, yeah.

M: With Victor Garber?

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah, it’s surprising, he was in Sweeney Todd and has worked on a Victor Garber adjacent show.

C: Yeah.

K: I (was) saying before Ben Affleck’s my last card, I’m turning to Chris Wood to make that Victor Garber connection.

C: Yeeees! Hey guys!

M: Hey man!

K: How are you sir?

C: What’s going on?

K: So wait, what- you were a musical theater guy.Correct?

C: That (was) my thing, man. All through college and high school and growing up, that was like-- aside from making movies on my Super8-- that was my, that was my other hobby.

K: What is uh- look, for those who don’t follow very closely: Chris has acted for a long time, I met him playing Mon-El when I was directing Supergirl episodes. Of course as I said, he’s playing our He-Man. What was the vampire show that Mewes loves that you were on?

C: The Vampire Diaries, yeah, yeah.

K: The Vampire Diaries as well and stuff, uhm, and he’s a wonderful actor and gorgeous human being but-

C: You’re always- you have the kindest intros in the world, Kevin. You’re- I come on just blushing every time I talk to you. 

K: He’s wonderful (but) this is wanna lay out there: he is a fucking hell of a writer.

M: Outstanding. 

C: Oh wow! It’s still going!

K: And you know that like I’m not just saying it’s a butter him up because we could totally just talk about He-Man and that’s it but like-- I’ve read a script that he wrote that took me back to 1994, where I was like-- This is what I felt like when I saw Indie Film. It reignited a love for indie film because the film was impressionistic and wonderful and original and singular in vision and stuff..

C: And nobody will ever make it..*Laughs* All of the qualities of a terrific independent film.

K: You got- you got some pushback on the movie. “Some people like this? What?” but he wrote- didn’t you write a script that went someplace legit or whatnot? Are you allowed to talk about it?

C: I did, yeah. It’s not public yet, but we’re--

K: That’s not public? That wasn’t in the trades or anything like that?

C: Not yet, man. It’s still like..under the table wheeling and dealing.

K: Alright, we can’t say what it is, but I can tell you right now, it’s like- it’s something that you and I (Marc) would work our Whole lives to achieve and we’ve been doing- all we have is writing. And this motherfucker has everything in life and he’s about to have that as well. But well worth it, because he’s wonderful at the written word. What do you attribute that to?

C: The written word?

K: Yeah. Where’d you- How come you’re such a good writer?

C: Well, that’s very- Thank you first of all. Uhm, writing, I always kinda did it. I think I was like you, Kev, when I was a kid I just- no one was giving me pages to shoot or to have my friends put on plays in the garage, so I had to write my own words. So, I kind of always done it. I remember writing plays and I’d write up thirty pages of a script when I was 13 years old and I’d hand it out to my cousins and we’d perform it for all of our aunts and uncles and grandparents. I kind of always done it, just never been paid for it.

K: Yeah, that’s the dream, to get paid for it at the same time. I saw when my man got married, he whipped out beautiful words as well. Like you know, where you get to like say something to your-

M: Your vows.

K: There you go. That’s that word, “vows”

C: “What do we call those *snaps fingers* those promises we make.

K: I smoked those away. *Laughs* Even his vows, were like beautiful, like incredibly well fuckin written, beautiful choice of words, look-

C: My missus..

K: I mean, yes.

C: (Blew me out) the water.

K: Who went first, was it you or her who went first?

C: She went first, that’s why I couldn’ t-- I couldn’t speak through mine.

K: Yeah, both of them got real beautiful.

C: Oh man..

K: The thing is, I knew Woody was a writer because I read his script and what not. Didn’t homegirl open with “I’m not a writer” and then dropped one of the most beautiful fucking speeches that you’ve ever heard in your life? It was really great, really special for me to be there for, man. The point is this kid here writes well, the point is one day he’s gonna take my advice and write himself his own fucking lead in the movie that he should make, particularly that one that I love and make a movie, ‘cause he’s got all the ingredients. Like you know, like me I was like “I wanna make a movie” but like I had to hire actors and shit like that. Well, not hire but beg them to be in it. Thank God they were. But like he could write himself a part and be that fucking part and direct himself in the part, because he’s been on enough sets so knows how the process works.

M: So what you’re saying is he’s unfair.

K: Yes, I don’t want to say it in front of him and embarrass the man but yeah.

C: I’m so sorry.

K: Um, take us into, for those watching at home uh, talk a little bit about Vampire Diaries. When did that, was that the first thing you did?

C: That was one of my early kind of like public roles, um, I had done some stuff before that, nothing really that caught on with a fan base. That was sort of the first thing I did where people got excited about a character I was doing, um and wanted more of them, so they wrote me more stuff, um, yeah that was, I guess, I started on that seven years ago? Eight years ago?

K: And what was the, did you leave? Did they kill you off gracefully? Did you leave because you were like “I don’t want to do this”.

C: Yeah, I was a bad guy, so with like all good villains in our favourite shows, they have to meet some sort of demise or just, you know go into a spin-off *Laughs*. It’s kind of either-or. Or they’re Skeletor and then they just exist forever as an equal force.

K: So after, how long were you done with that show before you went and did Supergirl?

C: So I did a couple of things after that, um, I did a mini-series and I was on a limited series called ‘Containment’ about a pandemic, much like what we’re living in now. A little too timely, I kind of don’t recommend it at the moment, but yeah I did that and then right after that ended, that’s when I went up to Vancouver.

K; So wait, and if I remember correctly, Containment, did Julie Plec do that? Didn’t she also…

C: Yeah, yeah, that was Julie Plec, who did Vampire Diaries. She kind of pulled me across, from that experience.

K: When you’re making it, are you like “silly fictional world this will never happen.”.

M: “I’ll never need to remember any of this.”.

C: You know what, I feel like in a way the show kind of prepared me for the quarantine because I read so much about the Spanish Flu and about outbreaks and what actually happened, so when this all started happening, I was like “guys no no no, this is real” you know like, when people who play lawyers think they’re lawyers? It was kind of one of those things, suddenly I thought I knew, I was like “send me in I’m ready guys”.

M: Was there any Containment swag that you got to keep like “oh they sent me all these masks, I got all of these masks!”

C: I wish! I think I have some uh, dog tags and that’s about it..

K: Alright so wait, did they come after you to come audition for Supergirl? How does that happen?

C: That was the first time in my career where I got offered something without reading for it. Which was kind of amazing. And I played hard to get for a second because I wasn’t sure if it was the right coloured spandex. I was always more of a Batman guy than a Superman and then eventually it clicked and apparently, there was some part of me that knew I was going to meet my future wife and the mother of my children. *laughs* So I guess it all worked out.

K: I mean, yeah, and aside from just getting to play a hero and stuff, it gave you the rest of your life.

C: The rest of my life, which is a pretty lucky thing to get from a job, usually the job doesn’t serve you that. So that was pretty fantastic.

K: And there are very few people who can walk away from the CW going “and that built the rest of my life”, you know what I’m saying?

C: *laughs* Well it does match, the network that matches my initials should promise me something like that. I think it’s somewhere in the rulebook, I don’t know where.

K: I just put that together.

M: Like the Wendy's girl walks into Wendy's and is like “I will take all of your hamburgers, I’m Wendy."

(all laugh)

K: When you, when they gave you the suit finally, which is something you know, for the run of the show was something you would look forward to and then finally they do give you the suit, looked tight. Was it as uncomfortable as it looked?

C: Oh yeah, they’re terrible. It’s the worst thing you’ll ever wear in your life. You know, it’s like a giant onesie. A onesie is known for comfort and relaxation and too many zippers. This is as few of zippers and you can have including no accessibility to use the restroom, and you really can’t move in them, it kind of squeezes your everything, if there’s a thing that can be squeezed by the spandex. So things are going like, your elbow is going up to your shoulder and you’re not really sure why. You know that you’re not controlling it. Uh, it’s an odd experience, but um, I’ll tell you what, those lunch breaks were always very, it was like a great release to unzip the spandex and just lay on the couch.*laughs*

K: Tell them what it’s like to be up on the harness thing man, when you have to do flying and shit, on the green screens.

C: The flying is fun, that’s one of the really, that’s when you feel like you’re on the trampoline in your backyard as a kid fighting the invisible villains. It’s literally the same thing, except someone is doing the jumping for you with a rope. But that’s when you get to play and feel like a kid. Those are my favourite, the big action sequences. They’re a bear to shoot because they take days to shoot two minutes, as you know. But when you’re actually doing the thing, it’s a great time.

K: How long before you think, because I know it ain’t happening now, how many years from now do you think it’ll be before you and Melissa are like “let’s watch the episodes and see if we can spot the chemistry, and see if I can see myself falling in love and blah blah blah.” Do you think you’ll ever get there?

C: You know, I think it’s probably all over every second of every frame *laughs*. You could probably just uh, start at the beginning and then the first second on-screen probably in some way, shape or form go “oh there it is, there’s the first bits of it”.

K: I believe that, Mr. Broadway.

C: Mr Broadway!!

K: Can I tell him [Marc] a quick Broadway story? I actually went to a Broadway show, where I got to sit next to Mr Chris Wood.

M: Did you now?

C: Oh man, yeah you did.

K: It’s beautiful. So we go see Beautiful, is the show, the Carole King musical.

C: It was also beautiful.

K: It was beautiful, branded and in my heart. The lead of the show that night is of particular interest to both me and Mr Wood, him a lot more. Melissa Benoist, "rhymes with moist", I learned that from Chris Wood.

M: That sounds awfully romantic.

C: He texts me late one evening..

K I used to say Ben-o-ist all the time, I don’t know why.

C: And then I shot you a text I was like “You know it’s Benoist like moist, like a chocolate, decadent chocolate cake”.

M: That was the most Christopher Walken thing I’ve ever heard: “It’s Benoist like moist”.

K: “And delicious like a chocolate cake”. We’re watching Beautiful and we’re watching Melissa open, this is the debut, the first opening night of the show, and Chris is there um, a bunch of people that love Melissa were there. Fucking Lynda Carter was there, Wonder Woman was there to watch Supergirl, how awesome is that? The curtain opens and it opens with Melissa, she’s up top like bang, singing, right at the top of the show and I’m sitting right next to Chris Wood who is crying. Crying those joyful tears of seeing his lady love’s dream come true. She always wanted, is that her first Broadway performance?

C: It was, first and last. *laughs*

K: *jokingly* She’s not going to do it again?

C: No, no, no, no, no I’m just kidding, no it was her first. Life long dream.

K: She was like, she’s like Chris, she’s a theatre kid. A couple of musical kids and stuff, drama kids.

C: You can say nerds, it’s okay.

K: Drama nerds, the idea of Broadway, that was the goal, it wasn’t like “one day I’m gonna be Supergirl”, that was the surprise and the delight where she met the love of her life and stuff, but the dream was Broadway and her dream came true and as you know, if the curtains open and Melissa was crying, of course, people forgive it because they’re like “Oh look at her dreams coming true” the fact he was bawling, I was like "oh my God, she’s got the right guy." All of the joy he felt for her joy, as she was concentrating on doing the very thing that she dreamed about doing, performing, so she can’t just stop the show and be like “can you fucking believe this?” which is how she feels inside, he’s expressing for her just by emotional, he was crying, it was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

C: I’m not ashamed of it.

K: No!

M: Nor should you be.

K: It was so fucking wonderful so supportive but he is a- point of the story, he is such a Broadway kid.

C: You could say I’m a Jellicle kid.

K: Somebody could explain that.

M: I too was sitting next to Chris Wood when he was crying, but it was in New Orleans, in a waiting room to shoot a scene for Reebot, and he's like "Listen, I gotta fly back to Vancouver and my flight is like twenty minutes from now and we haven't shot yet, and it's 4 AM and I'm a little bit daffy in the brain.

K: *Laughs* It's true.

C: Yeah, we were drinking- we were on coffee number four, at like 5 AM, and I looked at my watch and I went "Oh!! My flight's at 6:30." *Laughs*

M: "Anytime you're ready, Kev!"

C: But we got it done.

K: The boys were so sweet, they came out uhm- Chris and Jesse Rath came out and they're in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot during Chronicon, if you haven't seen it on Amazon Prime.

C: With the most extensive and detailed backstory that any limited amount of screentime has ever had in the history of film. There's a story in those eyes, if you look closely.

K: Oh my God, he's working. But he's sitting next to Mr. Marc Bernardin.

M: Yes.

K: Throughout the night, and it was- we ran up against- what time do we finally shoot you guys?

C: I don't even remember.

M: It must've been like 5:15 or something like that.

K: And then rush them to the airport so they could get on (a) plane and get back to Vancouver, correct?

C: That's right, I had to get back to work.

K: Such a special-

C: But it was such a blast, though. And thank you again for letting us come out and play. That was such a trip.

K: It just means that uh, one day your kids are gonna watch that movie and be like "They're both in this terrible movie? Who are Jay and Silent Bob? Was this before you guys met on Supergirl? Why would you be in a movie like this?"

C: *Laughs*

K: Let's talk He-Man. What-- Had you done voice work prior to He-Man?

C: So, when I was broke, living in New York, in between babysitting for three boys on the Upper West Side to make cash so I could support my acting aspirations, I bought a little USB microphone and I joined this- I can't even remember the name of the site. It was some like, some freelance voiceover site, where you join and you can record audio samples and submit auditions and that was the only voice work I had done. I would- I was making like 100 bucks here and there, doing a voiceover for a animated-- "Hey kids, don't run in the cafeteria!" Like a school PSA, or I did some military PSA teaching soldiers etiquette in the barracks and-- so strange. But that was all I had done.

K: Tell'em about how- what acting in front of a microphone is like, 'cause it is acting-

C: Oh yeah.

K: -And in some ways, it's way more acting than one can do on a camera, on a camera one can be subtle, you can't be subtle behind a microphone. You gotta communicate emotion just with the voice, tell 'em about it.

C: You know it's so funny, I actually would describe voice acting as incredibly physical work, whereas camera acting it's all- you know, it's what you're feeling, it's..they say it's through your eyes, which actually means they're seeing through your eyes, through your soul, right? If you're feeling something you'll see it. But for voice acting, we don't see anything, it's all voice, so you really have to take the feeling and elevate it, and sometimes it helps to physically express it, so people sweat in the booth and they, you know, they grit their teeth and they stomp into the ground, and really, you have to really dig in, to grab the emotion and kinda amplify it, otherwise *monotone voice* you're just kinda talking like you do on film and nothing's really happening, and no one cares. Which is sort of what American acting is a lot of the time, we kinda just try not to seem like we're interesting and care about anything. *Laughs*

K: Is that the secret to acting? Did you just let it-- Is that all acting or just CW acting? What kinda acting are we talking about?

C: I'm actually doing a master class series on early '20s acting and basically, the first lesson is to speak as monotone and enunciate as little as possible.

K: Fucking worked out, you married Supergirl for heaven's sakes.

C: Listen-

K: Mumble away, kids! That's what your future looks like if you can mumble your way through a performance.

C: Mumble core.

M: So what you're saying is, voice acting then is very much like theater acting? Where like you've gotta play to the back row, right? Like you can't see that person's eye from a hundred feet away.

C: This guy!

K: Right? This fucking guy, he made-

C: You've found a way to bring it back to CATS! Wow!

K: Thank you, fucking excellent job, now there's a writer. Marc Bernardin is a writer.

M: *singing* Midnight and the kitties are sleeping..

K: Yes, your theater training really comes in handy in that shit, I never fucking put that together!

C: Yeah! Because you learn how to take a truthful feeling and amplify it, that's what the best stage acting is, right? An emotion that an actor is feeling that can reach the back of the house and, with voice acting is that same sort of thing, but your relationship is with the microphone uhm, and it needs to go through the microphone and then into the character and then the audience gets to it. So it's a whole-- There's a learning curve, I feel like it takes a second. Hopefully we got it right.

K: Now you're way younger than us, so I don't know if like- was He-Man in your wheelhouse growing up? Or that was before you?

C: He-Man, yeah, He-Man was on uh-- we didn't have cable when I was a kid, 'cause we didn't have the money for it. So I was watching, they were rerunning it on-- I'm trying to think what network it would've been. I can't even think of the names of what they were back then, but they were running- it was the rerun after the original series had aired. 'Cause I would watch that and I would watch X-Men, those are my cartoons.

M: Where'd you grew up, in New York?

C: In Ohio. Yeah, Dublin, Ohio, home of Wendy's, yeah.

K: That's true, that's where Wendy's begins, is in Ohio!

C: Yeah and there's a callback to Wendy! So..

M: This guy!

K: There's a writer, there's a writer! *points at both Marc and Chris*

M: High five!

K: What uh-- you know, we gotta be very careful of course, when we talk about MOTU, all of us are NDA'd up the A-H. You gotta play two different characters, what was that like?

C: That was one of the fun aspects of Prince Adam slash He-Man. It's finding these very different placements for the same person, right? So it has to feel like the same character but that, their emotional states are- Prince Adam is sort of in a different place: he's covering, he's deflecting, he's more fun and goofy..And then He-Man we have to drop the truth of his core mission, you know, to save the world, so..I mean, it starts with registers, right? That was the easy part. Prince Adam is supposed to be full of youth so he's a little higher and a little more excited, and then He-Man, *lower voice* go down and be more heroic, down in the basement and use his big fighty-fight voice.

K: It's pretty awesome, like you join a tradition of storytelling in which performers get to be two people, like you know, whoever plays Batman gets to do Bruce Wayne, and then they get to do the Dark Knight, whoever plays Superman gets to do Clark Kent and then they get to do the Man of Steel, so you get to do Prince Adam and then you also get to be his heroic alter ego, man.

C: Right.

K: It's a wonderful fraternity that you join.

C: Although I hear I'm in deep trouble, because the internet has found out that I'm not bulking up--

M: You're not doing the work?

C: --for my performance.

K: Somebody on Twitter was just like "Chris Wood, he's not big enough to play He-Man!" and they meant in size!

M: "Have you seen his thighs? His thighs are not nearly there!"

K: "He skips leg day all the time" but oh my God--

C: You're right! "He can't possibly play the character!"

K: Yeah I had to point out, I was like "I better get in touch with Netflix and see if they'll send Chris some steroids and a fucking peloton so he could do the the voice in an animated series."

M: Also, Chris is not from another planet. That's also an issue. Could you not have cast an indigenous actor to play somebody from Eternia?

K: Who was it tweeted, somebody tweeted something about Griffin Newman, they were like "Oh, tell Griffin we gotta cut his fucking legs off". Maybe it was there, texted that, tweeted that. What uh, now that you've voice acted and led an animated series: is it something that you see yourself doing again? I mean, of course, hopefully we all get to do this one again, but other stuff. You got like one of them Disney voices and you can sing like a motherfucker, man.

C: Oh man, I would love to do Disney too. Let's uh, put that in the bucket list. I honestly, I get a real kick out of it, it's..like you said you can really go to a larger-than-life place, and it all, it always has to come from, you know, something sincere, that sense of play has to be grounded in something. You just kind of yell and scream, I think people can hear that..so there's a challenge to it, but it's also super rewarding because you get to, you know, play characters that fly on cats that are oversized and wear armor and..

M: Jellicle cats?

K: None of that Jellicle shit in our show, Marc! Battle cats!

M: What kind of Jellicle are you? I'm a cringer cat!

K:*jokingly* Somebody point a sword at me, quick. Yeah man, it's a..

C: It's a long life with He-Man too, 'cause this, I mean the character is so fun and obviously..I had the action figures when I was a kid and those toys..I hope to introduce my son to Masters of the Universe via the action figures, 'cause I mean they're so weird! They really went there-- have you seen that special that they do on the toys on the Netflix show?

K: Oh yeah, the toy, the wonderful-

M: The Toys That Made Us.

K: -The Toys That Made Us.

C: Yeah, yeah The Toys That Made Us.

K: Their He-Man episode is unbelievably wonderful.

C: Oh, it's great! And it just shows you- you know they were thinking "what weird crap would a little boy like, put together on a toy?" And then they end up with these wild names, and these characters who do insane things and it's part of why it's so fun. And the fact that they found a way to build a story around those bizarre toys, that was also compelling.

K: Thank God they did--

C: 30 years later, it's amazing.

K: Thank God they did, we all have fuckin jobs, all three of us.

C: *laughs* You're right.

K: Wait so before we let you go, it occurs to me that Melissa just had her episode air of Supergirl, that she directed.

C: Directorial debut!

K: That's right! Did you- Did the Wood-Benoists or Benoist-Woods- did you guys like kick back and watch it together?

C: You know, we didn't because *laughs* we don't have cable. So, no!

K: Don't let CW hear that, or perhaps do and they'll pay for cable! Why don't you have cable? Where are you quarantining?

C: We're in California, so we're home, but we're usually not home.

K: Right! Oh my gosh, that's right!

C: As a fortunate actor you move to California to never be there. I was shooting in New York and she was shooting in Vancouver when this all started and we were lucky to get home quickly but uh, but yeah I mean, we don't spend that much time in our house, so we don't have cable!

K: Tell 'em why you were in New York. Was it the- that's been announced, right?

C: Yeah, yeah for Thirtysomething, Thirtysomethingelse which is an ABC show that hopefully, knock on me, hopefully ends up going when we get out of this situation with Covid. Yeah, it's a reboot of Thirtysomething, another 80s classic.

K: Oh my God, that's-- you'll have two, you'll have fuckin MOTU and Thirtysomething. I watched Thirtysomething in real time when I was a kid, I loved that show, my mom watched it so I watched it with her and stuff, so I know all about Hope and Michael. I saw that they were redoing the show and I saw that fucking Chris was involved and I was like "What?!", and I texted him "Are you fucking for real?" and shit, and you're playing Hope and Michael's- did they announce that? I don't know

C: Yeah, yeah, I'm their son, yeah.

K: So he's tied in-

M: He's a legacy character!

K: Legacy character and like-

C: Legacy! This is what's all about.

K: That's fucking dope, man. So I mean, look I can't wait to watch that, but I have seen and heard four animatics so far of MOTU and-

C: Oh man.

K:- your performance..

C: I cannot wait.

K: It's wonderful, you did a great, great job and made me proud as the guy who was like "You know who'd be good? This guy." Put you forward--

C: This guy and they're like "who's that?" and you're like "hang on, let me tell ya!"

K: Yes, "Here let me pull up IMDb". They knew who he was, they know you, man.

M: If you did like The Music Man it wouldn't have been an issue: “You know who’d be good? Wood would be good, if he could do that, I bet you Wood could.”

C: *Laughs* Well, you got He-Man, my friends. (inaudible) city.That was a, that was a deep cut.

M: Hell yes.

K:Look at you, look at how you came to life with a little theater ref, man. Jazz hands all around.

C: Oh yeah, you can feel the jazz hands from there in the Cantina.

M: Touching us all over

K: Go back and enjoy the rest of your Thursday night, thanks for hanging out with us, say hello to the good lady Benoist and whatnot.

C: Thank you gentlemen. It was wonderful seeing you both.

M: Good to see you, sir. Be well.

C: Alright guys, be well.

K: Give it up for He-Man himself, Chris Wood, everybody.

M: *cheers*

K: Mon-El..flies away. He’s so good, such a good guy. I forgot he was such a fucking theater kid, that’s right, and we were like talking theater and shit. And I forgot his connection to Garber. One more we wrote in.

M: We have another point of entry.

K: That’s true, that’s good. Man, I’m telling you, I ain’t fucking around, his script was one of the most impressive thing I’ve ever read,

M: Yeah, that’s awesome.

K: It did make me feel jealous where I’m like “he’s that pretty and he can write like this? Like, all I had was writing, fuck!”

M: That’s a problem.

K: God, what a good guy.

[vagrantblvrd]

ramwood with werewolves?

Oh my God, yesssss.

So, like.

Ryan on a long roadtrip - moving somewhere or business trip kind of thing, and his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Single-lane highway cutting through a forest/national park kind of deal up in the mountains.

No phone reception to speak of and no choice but to walk however many miles to the gas station he passed a sign for a mile back.

Thing is?

There’s something in the forest, right? He first noticed it when there was a construction detour that took him where he is, glanced over and saw something in the woods keeping pace with his car.

And, like.

He’s going at least tend, fifteen miles over the speed limit in a bid to make up for time lost on this detour.

Whatever is out there veers into the woods when the highway curves, and he’s like.

Well.

Maybe he imagined it?

Sunny day and trick of the eye/play of shadows and he’s been driving for hours at that point, so.

Yes?

But half an hour later there’s a rock outcropping ahead of him overlooking the highway and something up there that’s gone by the time he drew even with it.

Too far away to make it out, and there are trees casting shadows and all that but he swears there was something there.

A few more instances where he knows (he thinks?) he saw something out there before the sun went down and he was driving down that single-lane highway in the dark.

Before his car died on him and he had to get out and check things using his (mostly) useless cell phone as a makeshift flashlight to see if he could fix it.

Which, or course he couldn’t.

So then the Walk of Doom, and he swears he’s seen horror movies that start like this?

Keeps hearing things, seeing things, as he walks along.

Owls and foxes and other things?

But also whatever he saw (thought he saw) earlier.

Big.

Fast.

Stalking him?

Hairs on the back of his neck raising and Bad Feeling and seriously, seriously, super not fun?

Eventually (somehow) he gets to the gas station without being horribly murdered in the dark.

Discovers it’s attached to a little truckstop kind of diner, open 24 hours, and wouldn’t you know it?

Geoff’s there.

(Not that Ryan knows him at that point, but shhhh.)

Geoff’s there, and so is Jack and the two of them are bickering about something or other at the counter, and look up in surprise when Ryan walks in.

Get decent business during the day, but not so much this late at night. Long haul truckers and the like every so often, people on roadtrips pushing themselves kind of thing.

Also, idiots like Ryan, but whatever.

Jack dips back into the kitchen while Geoff is like, all country charm (or Geoff’s idea of country charm) on Ryan.

Makes all the right noises when Ryan tells him about his car breaking down and wouldn’t you know it, the gas station/garage has its very own tow truck?

Turns out Jack runs the diner and Geoff runs the gas station/garage and they’ve been in business together for years.

Because of course.

Jack comes back out with thermoses of coffee for the both of them because Ryan’s not their first poor bastard with a broken down car on the side of the road in the middle of the night and all.

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah. Come to think of it, that does sound weird, right?”

(Only you know, not, but shhhh, Plot Reasons.)

So Geoff and Ryan drive back to his car where Geoff putters about trying to see if he can get it started again - he can’t - and they tow truck the fuck out of it for the drive back to the gas station/garage.

Ryan plays flashlight handler throughout, stands next to Geoff when he pokes at the car engine and whatnot and they chitchat in between Geoff trying different fixes for Ryan’s car.

Get engine grease and oil on hands and smeared on faces when wiping sweat out of eyes and the whatnot and look, okay, look, shit happens. (Also I’m weak for this stuff, give me a break.)

Nothing can be down without replacement parts and the whatnot, because of course.

Anyway!

Just when they’re about to get back in the tow truck for the drive back Ryan hears something in the woods around them again, whips around with the flashlight trying to get a good look at it and such.

Shushes Geoff when he’s trying to pinpoint where the noises are coming from and all that, but to no avail.

Geoff suggests it’s a deer or something, maybe even a bear because why not, and c’mon, Ryan, Jack’s probably got their food ready. (Because you know. Food and hungry idiots and just. Yes.)

Ryan’s like “...Alright” and off they go!

But of course as soon as Geoff starts up the tow truck there’s a fuckin’ wolf howl right fucking there.

Ryan’s like !!! because of course he is, and idk, wolves aren’t supposed to be in the area at all???

Geoff is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  because the tow truck’s engine is just so loud, you know? Big ol’ diesel or whatever, and rumblerumblerumble what was that, Ryan???

Get back to the gas station/garage/diner/truck stop and go over estimates and such - gonna take a few days for said parts to get there, but conveniently there’s also a motel there?

More like a couple of cabins, because nearby lake and honestly, the weird plot convenience things are everywhere but, uh.

Yeah.

Geoff cuts Ryan sweet deal on a cabin until he can get Ryan’s car fixed and Ryan’s like, God, yes, whatever, because he’s exhausted at that point.

Takes whatever Jack cooked up to go and crashes in his cabin. Food shoved in his facehole and dead asleep in under an hour. Barely even registers the wolf howls and the whatnot.

And then!

Next day and Ryan’s like shit because his schedule is way ruined and just.

Yes.

Everything seems pretty normal, just your typical middle of nowhere America and all that?

Songbirds and all that nonsense all over the place as Ryan heads to the diner for breakfast and all that.

Jack’s not there, because night shift, but in his place is Jeremy, because of course.

Chatting to this scrawny asshole in Gavin, back from a trip or whatever and stopping for coffee a bite to eat before heading on to the next town over where he lives/works/whatever.

Ryan’s like awkward mcawkward, especially with the way Jeremy’s attention snaps to him like whoah?

All weirdly intense and stuff for a moment before he dials it back, puts on the cheerful face and greets Ryan. Gavin joining in because new face???

And then small talk as Ryan eats breakfast, says goodbye because he forgot to grab something out of his car the night before and all that.

Feels like he’s being watched (Jeremy and Gavin???) as he walks across the parking lot.

Geoff’s not in at the garage, also because night shift, but wouldn’t you know it? Michael is. (Look, I know.)

ANYWAY.

Michael watches him the whole time, shrugs when Ryan tells him he forgot this thing in his car and waves him over to where it’s parked and so on.

Ryan grabs the thing, thanks Michael and all and scurries back off to the cabin.

And just kind of fucks around for the day, makes phone calls and whatever to explain he’ll be late and so sorry and so on.

Takes a nap because still tired from pushing so hard on the roadtrip, and wakes up just before night falls. (Some would call it dusssssk.)

Hungry, so diner?

Finds Geoff and Jack and friendly small talk while they eat and the whatnot, and Ryan nearly dies when he takes a big sip of (diet coke, because of course) and the fucking wolves start up right fucking there.

Or, like.

Somewhere in the woods nearby, but yeah.

Howling up a storm and Ryan slowly turns to look at Geoff who clearly hears it too?

But is like, wow, this food is just so darn good! Also! Must concentrate on chewing it the recommended amount so as not to choke and die! :DDDDDD

But he can’t keep it up forever and he just sighs, looks over at Ryan and is like.

So.

Spins a story about wolves moving down from the national park just north of there a few years ago and all that.

Got some rangers studying them and their movements and it sounds pretty legit?

But no, okay, no.

Geoff is all eyes darting towards Jack to see if he’s still telling a believable story and this weirdly nervous laugh and something is clearly going on?

But Ryan’s like.

Okay! :D and all.

Just goes along with it (only not so much) and finishes his dinner and turns in early - man he’s just working off that sleep debt, you know? - and then Scooby Doos some shit or whatever.

Flashlight and pack from his car and off into the woods he goes following the howls and whatnot and it’s not long before he’s in deep.

A mile into the woods at least, gas station/garage/diner/whatever the hell else far behind him and just.

Dark, dark woods. Eerie as hell and those damn howls.

Goes chasing after them, and if gets him in trouble because of course it does.

Fricking wild boar or something, and he’s just like.

Shit.

Reaches for his bag and wouldn’t you know it?

Has all these interesting things in there like wooden stakes and bottles and vials of holy water, silver bullets and other such things.

A gun, too.

Pretty little thing, but it’s not something that would do much to stop an angry wild boar in its tracks, you know?

More for silver bullets and the like and he really should have brought something with more stopping power along but - like an idiot - he didn’t think he’d need it.

After something that wasn’t a fan of silver instead, and a little tunnel-vision of him, wasn’t it?

Anyway, anyway, just as he thinks getting murderized by a wild boar is going to be part of his obituatry (assuming anyone found him) the wolves show up.

Only...obviously not normal wolves, you know?

Big motherfuckers, huge, and they chase off the wild boar.

Well, most of them do.

Because there’s a whole pack - four? Five? - and most of them take off after the mountain lion, but one of them stays behind.

Lankier than the others, fur that looks black in this light and blue, blue eyes on Ryan and just.

“Uh, hey,” because clearly not a normal wolf in the way Ryan’s not just a normal guy.

The fact it and its buddies didn’t just let the mountain lion have a go at him or come at him themselves says a lot.

(Things like probably not a problem he needs to deal with, which is always nice, but also? What now???)

Because these kind of wolves (Were) are usually not all that ofnd of people like him. (Hunters.)

The wolf huffs, and Ryan swears it rolls its eyes at him before turning and walking off a little ways. Stops to look back to see if he’s following, and makes this annoyed noise because he wasn’t, but uh.

Then he does, and the wolf huffs again before it starts walking.

Ryan is super confused/awkward as hell, but not like he has anything better to do, and follows along.

The wolf slows down until they’re even and then it’s this lovely little moonlit stroll back to the gas station/garage/diner/whatever.

Ryan starts...rambling.

Some random topic that gets little sideways looks from the wolf, occasional grumbles or huffs and so on.

And Ryan, okay.

Weirdly enjoying the walk - they hear the others howling or barking in the distance, but pretty obvious they’re out shenanigating and in no danger and all that - and all too soon they’re back at the gas station/garage/diner/whatever.

Awkward little moment where Ryan looks down at the wolf that’s absolutely laughing at him before it ambles back into the woods and Ryan’s like, well, fuck.

Hunter of some renown or whatever, but not all fantatic about it.

Got a call from a friend next town over about weird shit that’s been happening and maybe if he’s not too busy he could swing by, and then the untimely car troubles and these asshole werewolves.

Probably not them? But he’s got a few days to kill until his car’s fixed so why not do some checking around.

And he does.

Chit-chats with Geoff and Jack and the others when he gets a chance.

Definitely something totes suspicious with them but nothing that pings his Bad Feeling meter, so he figures they’re not a problem he has to deal with.

A few days later the parts for his car come in and he watches Geoff and Michael fix his car up real good -

Maybe pays special attention to Geoff during it, you know? Guy’s under his car on the little rolly thingy (words no work now) and when they get it up on the lift he’s there too.

Maybe some shirt riding up action and it’s not like Ryan’s a saint, you know? Also Michael totally catches him checking Geoff out and Ryan has the choice of spontaneously combusting from embarrassment? OR he could just look Michael dead in the eye and do that eybrow raise thing he does like hey, buddy, he’s not dead, okay?

Michael snorting because jfc, this idiot, but also kind of...impressed isn’t the right word but you get it, right?

ANYWAY.

Ryan’s car gets fixed and he heads out to see that friend of his, who, it should be noted, is of course fricking Lindsay.

She runs a little vet clinic in this adorable little touristy kind of town or some animal rescue. (Both, definitely both.)

Weird shit still happening and oh, thank goodness you made it, Ryan!!1!

Ryan is like ??? because wow,what a reception, and also -

“You forgot to mention the werewolf pack.”

Because could have been a problem?

(Lot of Hunters would have killed them, no questions asked because they’ve all got their stories and this long-running history with werewolves and just. Not a good idea to forget to mention that kind of shit, you know?)

Lindsay’s like ??? until she realizes and is just :O because, fuck.

Asks Ryan if he killed them - please say no, they’re just idiots, omg Ryan, please say no!!!

Ryan is kind of tempted to let her sweat it for a little bit longer, but no, because cruel? And also she will absolutely get revenge on him if he freaks her out for shits and giggles.

Tells her the idiot werewolves are fine, no trouble with them and that they even helped him out and just.

Yeah.

Anyway, since he can’t go investigating the weird shit until nighttime (Plot Reasons) she puts him to work as an extra pair of hands at the clinic/rescue.

He meets one of the volunteers - Fiona, and definitely not human, but he’s not sure what she is? - and these assholes in Trevor and Alfredo stop by at some point.

Complete assholes, but Lindsay clearly likes them and he honestly can’t tell if they’re human or just weird as fuck and stops trying because it hurts his brain.

He’s staying at Lindsay’s - nice ranch-style house that goes along with the clinic/rescue - and takes a nape before nightfall and his Investigation.

Goes out - this time he brings something a little bit heavy-duty than that handgun of his for those silver bullets, just in case.

Checks out the area Lindsay told him about and finds tracks and the whatnot.

Claw marks on tree trunks and in freaking stone - boulders and cave walls and fucking fuck, what the hell did Lindsay get him in to out here?

Like.

Nothing he can’t handle, but still. He was on vacation before all this.

Hunting is serious business and all? But it hardly pays the bills, and he does It or whatever else gives him a flexible schedule and opportunity to work from home and not have to explain horrendous wounds/injuries his second job gives him every so often.

ANYWAY.

Nothing conclusive the first couple of nights? But the third, fourth, one and Something is watching him.

Something that gets his Bad Feeling meter screeching at him and then something’s slamming into him and for God’s sake, why is it always like this?

And then pain, because those fucking claws and thank God he’s got something in the way of body armor under his clothes (CONVENIENT) and those claws slice through it, sure, but his insides stay where they’re supposed to so A++++ for that.

Some tussling and wrasslin’ and all that until he manages to stab it with a knife - silver to it, because it’s one of those multi-purpose things, but it doesn’t slow it down too much.

Makes it angry as hell and Ryan fumbling for the shotgun that he lost when it hit him and some shots fired.

Angry shriek, glowy red eyes and Ryan about to get disemboweled low whoah, but then these wolf howls and then actual wolves (were) and talk about last minute save by the cavalry, you know?

Whole damn pack and not at all happy with this fucker in their territory and lots of growling and snarling. A few pained yelps and wolves (were) being tossed about before running back into the fray and just.

A lot of shit going on, you know?

Whatever the hell is out there with them gets some good hits in and then goes running off to wherever.

Ryan’s not doing great (still alive, though), and the same goes for the wolves.

Ryan’s like.

“Well, shit,” because one of the wolves is limping, another has this bloody wound along its ribs and just - they’re all a mess.

Make their way back to the clinic/rescue and wake Lindsay and Fiona up - neither of them are thrilled with Ryan or the wolves, but not like anyone would be.

They get patched up Heavily Judged and then it’s Ryan telling Lindsay about their super exciting brush(es) with death out there.

A few ideas on what it could be - wendigo, it’s totes a wendigo - and all that and just.

Yeah.

Ryan and the wolves get kicked out of the exam/surgery room of the clinic/rescue because all fixed now, time for sleeps.

Ryan is just like, huh, as the three smaller wolves form a puppy pile in Lindsay’s living room. One of the bigger wolves curls up nearby and keeps an eye on them and the last one -

Dark fur that looks almost black in this light and blue, blue eyes on Ryan is just.

Watching him, at least until Lindsay goes over and looks down at it, hands on her hips and “Something to say, Geoffrey?”

Because of course it’s Geoff, and he sighs. Looks over at Ryan who is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ because he knows better than to cross Lindsay. (He still does it, but he’s gotten better at hiding it/running for his damn life before she finds out.)

Heads off to the guest room he’s using while Lindsay interrogates Geoff. Doesn’t know what he’s thinking when there’s the sound of a werwolf shifting and Geoff’s voice all “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I may be an idiot, but how dare you call me stupid,” like an absolute idiot and laughter in his voice and just.

Yeah.

Anyway!

Some stuff about Geoff and the others smelling a wendigo prowling the borders of their territory and going looking for it - whole reason Ryan saw them that first day - and so on.

Ryan showing up making things all complicated because no way to know if he’s going to be trouble for them and various shenanigans up to them saving him from the wild boar and just.

That thing where they team up to deal with the thing that almost killed them? (Kill it if it comes to that, but yeah.)

Planning and plotting, maybe a touch of scheming and also a lot of awkward flirting and feelings between Ryan and Geoff and everyone knowing about it?

Because werewolves and also Lindsay being Lindsay? Fiona being Fiona and who the hell knows with Trevor and Alfredo, also that Matt guy that’s just like. There?

Seriously.

Ryan has no fucking idea where he came from, but nobody seems to care and just. Not important to know what that’s all about.

Anyway.

Thing where they use squishy human Ryan as bait (no one’s a fan of the idea but it’s the best one they have) and then shit goes wrong.

Ryan almost dies, but thankfully he’s got a pack of werewolves on his side and the wendigo’s the one who dies.

And then Ryan healing up and such while the werewolves loiter about.

Or, like.

Geoff, really, since Jack has to deal with the diner and Michael takes care of the gas station/garage and Gavin goes with them, and then.

Uh.

Awkward flirting while Linday is freaking dying at how dumb they are? (Fiona is ignoring them because no, just no. She’s got enough pining idiots in her life, what with Gavin and Jeremy and Michael being the most clueless fucks to ever live.)

Eventually Lindsay has enough of their bullshit and is like. “OH MY GOD,” and tells them they either need to figure their shit out or get their pining asses out of her house and then kicks them out anyway.

To, like.

Feed the rescue animals and the whatnot? But also akwardly talk about feelings and all that and then, you know.

Smooches in front of the birds of prey  habitat/house/whatever Lindsay’s got going on for them.

Which he does, because while he is super happy with smooching Geoff and all that they did just meet.

Might be a good idea  to see if they like one another while not involved in potentially deadly situations and all that.

So the whole long distance relationship for a while? Phone calls and video calls and virtual dates. Well, one, before they break down lauging at how ridiculous it kind of is?

Ryan taking a few days for himself and heading back to the gas station/garage/diner/whatever for a few days and actual dates. (Plus smooches and fade to black scenes because woo-hoo, in the SIMs vernacular.)

And then!

Geoff being :(((((((((((((((((((((( because things are great between him and Ryan?

But werewolf and he loves his pack, assholes that they are, but he misses Ryan because he smells real nice and he’s got that soothing/beloved heartbeat and all this other stuff that would super creepy in a different context because what the fuck, but because werewolf it’s just really sweet.

ANYWAY.

Ryan’s like, “Hmmm,” like he hasn’t been talking to Lindsay - and Jack - about getting a place out there.

Because the whole thing of him being in IT for a day job and working from home, and wouldn’t you know it there’s a nice little house/cabin-thing out by the gas station/garage/diner/whatever.

Other side of the lake where Jack and the Lads have cabins/whatevers and cozy and shit and enough room for two, if Geoff feels like moving in???

Takes Geoff on a little walk around the lake while he’s there for weekend or something, stroll right on up to that house/cabin-thing and mentions something about what a great view of the lake it must have in the morning?

Geoff’s like, hmm, yeah, because sure why not? Kind of sad because Ryan’s supposed to leave in the morning and it’s getting harder and harder to say goodbye when he leaves?

And then Ryan’s going up the steps, wiping dust/whatever off the windows to look inside and Geoff’s like.

“Uh, maybe don’t do that?” because wow, no?

The owners are never around  have been trying to sell it for years, but still, you know?

Ryan looking back at him all ??? because why not?

Geoff a little annoyed as Ryan just keeps on being obllvious about what a bad idea all that poking around the house/cabin thing is until Ryan’s like >:DDDDDD and pulls out a key to unlock the front door and walks on in.

Geoff being !!! before following him, still confused as he follows Ryan around inside until he realizes he can smell Ryan.

Like.

All over the place inside, scent a few days old and he’s like “What the f - “ as he checks the place out.

Realizes all the cardboard boxes around the rooms aren’t dusty at all, have Ryan’s scent and handwriting all over them.

Turns to see Ryan standing there trying to look like a smug bastard?

But he smells nervous, and he’s projecting awkward as hell and just.

“Ryan?”

Ryan and a nervous laugh and telling Geoff that the rent on his place is way overpriced and he doesn’t like his neighbors all that much. (Mutual kind of thing, but no need for Geoff to know about that.)

Babbles on for a bit before he gets to the part about Lindsay and Jack helping him look for a place out here. Ryan packing up his life and dropping it all off here a few days ago.

Figured things with Geoff were going well enough he was ready to do something about it.

And if things don’t work out, it’s not like he can’t just move somewhere else afterwards, you know? Just getting by where he was living and potential for something good here with Geoff and the others if he took a risk, and  -

“Geoff?”

Geoff just staring at Ryan like Ryan doesn’t fucking know - good? bad?? indifferent??? - and then he’s being tackled, the two of them hitting the floor hard because idiots, but, you know.

Geoff laughing and smooching him - and also calling him an idiot and an asshole and -

“Wow, Geoff, wow,” because hurtful words and Ryan’s delicate heart and Geoff just.

Shaking his head and this fond look and Ryan’s laughter trailing off as he looks at Geoff.

Old asshole, sure, but he’d got some good traits in there too. (Everyone says so.)

“Asshole,” Geoff says, and there’s this...his voice doesn’t break, he’s not a fucking adolescent, but there’s a lot of emotion in there, and then there’s some smooching to keep Ryan from making fun of him, which Ryan was kind of angling for anyway, so it’s all good.

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 6

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 6

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes: So, I have finished the Silmarillion, and may I just say, wow. I have a whole new understanding of Middle-Earth. It's amazing and inspiring. I do miss Maedhros and Maglor already though... Now, I've finished Beren and Luthien and started The Children of Hurin next in my quest to read every book on Middle-Earth that there is, written, of course, by the Tolkiens.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, au to where some of the Feanorians lived, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Maedhros x Fingon, Maglor x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

Instead of Blue-Eyes meeting you by Starlight, it was Erestor, instead. Aside from the one time you'd spoken to him with Haldir, asking him about other continents (Which, it turned out, you'd misunderstood. Beleriand had sunk, and so had Numenor and Tol Eressea, and no one but the Eldar could reach Aman anymore.), you hadn't spoken to him.

He was an older Elf, kind of intimidating, with a bird-like demeanor and an expression that said Don't fuck with me.

So yeah, you were kinda surprised.

Still, you bowed in the Elvish fashion. "Len Suilon, Erestor. Ci maer?"

"Suilad. Ni maer, [Y/N]," He assured nonchalantly. "A gin?"

"Ni maer eithro." You looked around nervously, hoping Blue-Eyes would pop out of nowhere and save you from a further conversation in what would probably be your poor Sindarin with an age-old Elf. "So, her majesty chose me for this scouting mission, eh?"

"Indeed," Erestor inclined his head. "Your Elvish improves, if slowly. You do not hesitate in your greetings anymore."

"Thank you, sir."

"Come, and lead Starlight along," Said Erestor unfairly regally, and sailed majestically away. "Have you been practicing your swordplay diligently? You may need it."

You nodded as you followed him. "Yes sir. Legolas, Elros, and Lindir have made sure that they split my day into learning Sindarin, weaponry, and even the general Elvish way of being Elvish." You tried not to sound irritated about that. They literally never gave you any free time. Not that you'd brought any books to read, and not that you could read any Elvish, but that wasn't the point.

"Good," Erestor nodded. "What are your strong suits?"

Ah, shit. "Uhm... I can throw a dagger pretty hard? I can probably shoot somebody dead if I'm point blank, but other than that, my aim sucks. I'm somewhat okay with a sword, though, and I prefer two. Why?"

"Curious," Erestor replied all mysteriously, and that was all he said on the matter.

The Elves chosen for the scouting mission-- the Elvenqueen herself, with Blue-Eyes, Haldir, and Elros-- were gathered and speaking amongst themselves, while Thorin and Dwalin next to their very dignified ponies glowered at them. Balin was feeding his own pony an apple, muttering to it kindly. Compared to the Elves, who were naturally tall and lithe, the short and stocky dwarves looked outrageously tiny.

"Ah," The Elvenqueen's attention was on you faster than a supersonic jet's. "You have arrived."

You bowed deeply. "Your majesty." To Haldir, and even to Legolas just to be safe from potential Elvenqueen-wrath-2.0, you added, "My Lords." You turned to Erestor. "I'm sorry I didn't greet you with the title, I forgot what ‘my lord’ is in Elvish."

To your surprise, the Elves chuckled. Except for the Elvenqueen, of course. "You need not worry yourself, mellonenin," Elros assured you. "You are still learning."

The Elvenqueen inclined her head. "We leave at once, if all are ready."

There were positive responses throughout, and everyone present mounted up. You caught sight of Lindir coming out of his tent for the morning, and waved; he looked confused, but awkwardly repeated your gesture. "What on Arda are you doing?" Blue-Eyes asked under his breath, like you were embarrassing him.

You snickered. "It's like a 'hi' and 'bye' gesture for when you're out of earshot of someone you know. It's called ‘waving’. Everyone does it where I come from."

"This is not your world, [Y/N]," The Elvenqueen reprimanded firmly. You fought the urge to shrink in on yourself. "If you are going to be a part of it and learn our ways, then you must do so faithfully, leaving everything you know of your world behind you. Your land is nothing but a poison, and I do not want it infecting Middle-Earth. Am I understood?"

"Y-yes ma'am-- your majesty, yes your majesty."

"Good," Said the Elvenqueen, and then she continued giving orders in Elvish, while Thorin purposefully repeated them in dwarvish for Balin and Dwalin, though everyone present spoke fluent English-- Common. For you, Blue-Eyes translated what he could before he was called up to ride beside his mother, so then Elros and Haldir took turns explaining. The whole event left you feeling like a fish out of water.

***

It was around noon when the company halted, which Thorin and Dwalin had been leading on foot, while Balin kept their ponies tied to his own. At first, you assumed, lunch, finally, I'm starving, but instead, you'd stopped because Thorin had found a trail. "Orcs," He said.

Duh, you felt like saying, what else would it be? Bigfoot?

But after the Elvenqueen's earlier lecture, you kept that to yourself.

"Which way do they lead, master dwarf?" The Elvenqueen demanded.

Thorin huffed as he stood. "They go north, but they are heavy from travel. Wherever they came from, it is not from anywhere near the northern borders of Mirkwood or Erebor."

"Where else would they come from?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself. "Are there like orcish towns in the north or something? Maybe we could--”

"There is no such thing," The Elvenqueen snapped.

"The wargs that I had tracked were from Gundabad," Blue-Eyes said calmly, as if that hadn't ever been important information before. "The ones that attacked us on the river, however, were from Mordor."

You leaned over to Haldir as Blue-Eyes continued to speculate. "I'm confused. What's the difference?"

"Gundabad wargs are darker, lithe, and more agile," Haldir told you quietly. "They are more viscous, as well. A Mordor warg is more... Stout, I suppose you could say, and slightly lighter in color."

There was a flash of color before your eyes. Suddenly, you felt as if you were in a clearing of trees, surrounded by people in dark colors, while the sound of howls filled the air, unlike the ones you'd heard before.

These are Gundabad wargs! They will outrun you!

These are Rusteveld rabbits! I'd like to see them try.

You shook your head as you resituated yourself in the saddle. Well, that was sudden... It had been quite a few days since any of the strangely-familiar visions had come to you. You came back to your senses as Dwalin laughed uproarously. "Well, that settles it, then! To Gundabad!"

"Wait just a moment," The Elvenqueen said. "We are not all brash, Master Dwalin. We will go back and retrieve more forces before even thinking of going near Gundabad." With that, she turned her silver mare around and began trotting back, Haldir and Erestor on either side of her. Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin hung back, taking their time getting on their ponies and following after.

"Where's Gundabad?" You asked Legolas quietly; not that it did any good. Elves could hear grass growing on the other side of the continent if they wanted to. "And what is it?"

"It is northwest of here, in a cleft between the mountains," He answered. "It is an old fortress, from the time when the Dunedain first came to Middle-Earth from Numenor, if you remember." You nodded; he'd told you the entire story of the Silmarils and anything that went with it or after. "It was the gate that lead to the Witch-Kingdom of Angmar."

"Lead by the Witch-King..." You finished for him automatically. An eerie echo of a voice filled your mind: No man can kill me. At his impressed look, you scrunched up your face. "And what are you, French? How'd you make that 'h' sound in the middle of the damn word?!" You realized what you said only after you'd said it, and quickly looked to the Elvenqueen to see if she'd heard. If she had, she made no sign of it. "Sorry."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "It is fine, Sairen, you can speak to me of your world, don't worry." With a cocky smile, he looked down at you smugly. "As for the pronunciation... You will learn to do it soon."

Back at camp, a group of Elves was already up and waiting to move out, and at the Elvenqueen's ringing voice, they followed after, and you all retraced your steps back to where Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin had found the orc tracks. You considered it pointless-- they could've just taken the host of a couple dozen Elves with them that way they didn't have to retrace their steps.

Partway there, you decided that goddamn song that'd been going through your head needed a damn good explanation. Unfortunately, Blue-Eyes was now up by his mother, leaving you between two totally random Elves. You'd never been good at starting up a conversation, but you decided to give it a try anyway. "...Hey, do either of you speak Common?"

Both Elves busted out laughing as if you'd made a hilarious joke about dwarves.

"Most Eldar can speak Common," The one on the right said, removing his helmet to look at you more clearly. Whoa. You practically fell off Starlight. He was beautiful. He had long, purely golden hair that fell down his back in unfairly glorious waves. He had soft blue eyes (Not as gorgeous as Blue-Eyes', but still.) and a fair face. "It would be considered quite odd, in our long lives, if one did not learn the tongues of others."

You just stared at him. "Dude. Are you like, made of gold?"

He laughed, which sounded a lot like something naturelike and unfairly beautiful. You'd never heard any of the Elves outright laugh, so this was a weird, new experience for you. "I have been asked many things, but that is new. No, I am just as flesh and bone as you are."

"Yeah, but yours are like, plated in gold, so, you're... Wow."

He laughed again. "What is your name, mellon?"

"[Y/N.]," You replied, in a daze, then leaned over quick to the Elf on your left, who tensed and tried to lead his horse away. "Do you even see this guy?!"

You turned back to Goldie. "A gin?"

As best as he could in the saddle, the Elf placed his right arm over his chest and bowed at the waist. "I am called Glorfindel. Gellon len covad!"

"Mae l'ovannen!" You said in response.

Glorfindel smiled at you. "What was your question, mellonenin?"

"Well thanks to you and your blinding gold-ness, I forgot. Give me a minute." You thought for a second, trying to ignore the literally glowing Elf beside you. "Ah! That's it. I asked if you could speak Common so you'd understand my question. You guys have songs, right?"

Glorfindel gave you a look like you'd just told him his hair looked like an orc's. "Of course we have songs! Many, many songs! They are as timeless as we are, and we, all of us, are taught these songs from a very young age. Did you wish to learn them?"

You shook your head. "Nah. I've never been good at singing." If I sang all you Elves would shatter like a glass in an opera-room. "When I got puffed here, a song started going through my head. I can never remember all of it. Just bits and pieces here and there. But it's really bugging me. So if I told you all I could remember, think you could remember one from your Elvish past?"

Glorfindel inclined his head. "I shall answer to the best of my ability."

"Okay," You wracked your brain for the lyrics. "Okay, uh... Something about leaving home, and fading... Lots of fading. The one sentence I can always clearly remember is 'all shall fade.'" You looked at him curiously. "That ringin’ any bells?"

Glorfindel thought hard. "If by that you mean if I can remember anything similar, I cannot. If it is a song of Arda, it is not one I know, and I can remember most Eldar songs."

That caused a lightbulb to appear above your head. You gasped, wide-eyed.

"Wait! You're Glorfindel?! As in, the Glorfindel?! The guy in Gondolin who tried to protect Turgon by fighting the Balrog?!"

"Ah, Turgon... He was a good friend."

"And when it fell it grabbed your hair?!"

Glorfindel flinched. "Can we not mention that...?"

"And then you came back to life to fight Sauron?!"

"Yes--"

"The guy who was in love with Ecthelion of the Fountain?!"

Glorfindel flushed, his face going a deep shade of un-Elvish red-- on him, though, it was more of a rose-gold... "Yes, I am that Glorfindel, and I would advise you hush before you draw the attention of the Elvenqueen."

Nervously, you glanced ahead, to where the Elvenqueen sat regally upon her horse. If she or Leggy had heard you, neither of them made any indication of it. With a giddy smile, you looked back to Glory. "This is so cool. Where I'm from, you rarely ever meet anybody so important. Now I've met some of the most important people of Middle-Earth! Ooh, am I also gonna get to meet the king of Gondor?!"

Glorfindel looked confused, but amused. "Gondor has no king, and has not for many, many years. Not since the death of Isildur. Now, the stewards of Gondor keep watch over the city and uphold its laws, and await for the heir to the Gondorian royalty to show himself."

"Or herself," You specified, fighting a wince as you heard a voice echo, Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "Hardly ever is a mortal woman given any sort of royal duties alone. She would have to marry someone of high standing to be considered queen."

You scoffed. "Great. So the humans of Middle-Earth are assholes, too. Figured I'd escape from that."

"The race of Man is a fickle one," Glorfindel agreed. "More often than not, they are the cause of most grief in the world." He smiled. "But worry not! You are of the Eldar now, and are not subject to their torments."

You shrugged. "Good point..." You beamed excitedly at him. "Tell me about your adventures!"

He did, until the Elvenqueen gave the signal to dismount and to keep silent. You'd been so into Glorfindel's stories that you hadn't noticed that the trees had thinned out, giving way to loose, rusty-brown soil and rocky slopes. All of the Elves sailed silently over the rocks, while the dwarves trampled noisily.

For days (Which passed like extremely-long hours, and you weren't even hungry or thirsty or tired.), the procession trekked through the hills without any audible communication, until the huge hills rose up to your left and in the north into jagged mountains. You kept going, and going, and really wondered how any of the Elves that'd been left could possibly reach any of you for backup if needed in time.

On what was about noon of the week and a half mark, you came to an overlook that spread down beneath you into a huge, rocky valley, dry and desolate. There was no sign of life, and further still, about a couple days away by foot, was another tall, jagged outcropping overlooking a massive structure of bronze. Small black dots which you were going to assume were birds flitted about the top of it, and it stretched what looked like hundreds of feet into the air. You were astonished.

"We came all this way for rocky dirt and an old tower. I don't see any signs of life there." You kept your voice at a whisper, like some of the other Elves who'd began talking amongst themselves.

Blue-Eyes eyed the tower warily. "You're not supposed to."

You turned to watch him walk away. "Then what?" Blue-Eyes gave the Elves some order in Elvish, and you continued. "So we came all this way to see that it really doesn't look like there's orcs there but really, there are, so, what do we do? They've obviously got a shit ton of more orcs behind there. We're probably way outnumbered. So what do we do?"

"We," He replied, "Are going to do just what we came here to do. We're going to scout, by getting as close as we can and seeing what we can. Then we leave. It's as simple as that. If, however, we're ambushed, the rest of the procession has been following us slowly. They're only a couple of hours behind."

You frowned. You must not've gotten that memo because everybody felt the need to speak highly advanced Elvish when you only knew a couple ways to say "hi." "So what do we do if we see something we don't like? Attack?"

"If we can," Blue-Eyes told you, "But it most likely will not come to that. We simply came to see if they have larger numbers than those few who attacked us at the river."

You gave him an incredulous look with an eyebrow raised nearly to your hairline. "...Few?"

He scoffed, and walked off, giving orders in Sindarin that you only caught a word or two of. You were watching him with a glower, when you noticed Lindir sidling up on your right smugly. "...Do you not wish that you know what he is saying?"

You playfully rolled your eyes. "Ugh, Lindy, geez, can you read my goddamn mind?" You turned to mock-glare at him; he was preening. "Well? What was he saying?"

Lindir laughed and wagged a finger at you-- so Elvish. "No no no no no, mellon, I will not make it that easy for you. If you wish to know exactly what he said, then you will have to continue learning from your current point."

Your shoulders slumped. "Really? Damn. Fine, I guess, since it looks like we're camping here." And it did. Practically everyone was going around setting up bedrolls, but you seen no sign of a fire. "Glad it's warm-ish. What, we just supposed to freeze?"

Lindir gestured to Gundabad. "If we light a fire, they will see us, and our stealth will be for naught."

You gave him an odd look. "...What?"

Lindir blinked. "If they see us, our stealth will be for naught."

You stared at him blankly. "...Naught?"

Lindir suddenly looked panicked. "Do they not have that word on your world? It means the same as nothing, in this context."

You scoffed with a cocky smirk. "I know what it means. You Elves are just so damn fancy." You reached over and ruffled his strangely-perfect brown hair, to which he yelped and yanked away from you as if you'd tried to stab him. You left your hand in the air where his head had been, wide-eyed, as Lindir stared at you in shock. "Uhh... Got a sensitive spot on your head there?"

Lindir narrowed his eyes at you. "I should teach you Eldar custom as well. No Elf touches another's hair, for whatever reason, unless it is necessary, which is more than likely never to happen. Braiding and touching another's hair is considered something only for the wedded to do."

You yanked your hand away from where his head had been. "Sorry. I didn't know. Where I come from, that whole hair-ruffle thing is used between siblings or friends."

Lindir smiled softly, straightening his hair. "It is fine, [Y/N.]. You had no way of knowing. But, now I realize I must teach you language and customs-- or perhaps Elros can do that..."

You snickered to yourself, earning an odd look from the Elf. You shrugged. "Nothin', just, I've got specific Elvish teachers now. You're my language teacher, Elros is now customs, Legolas is history, and Glorfindel is music. I'm gonna be a true Elf before I know it."

"Maybe never a true Elf," Lindir laughed, "But close enough!"

You laughed with him, but on the inside, winced. You doubted if he meant it as an insult, but it hit you like one. No, you'd never been considered good enough to be a true anything, especially an Elf of all creatures, who were naturally shiny and glowy and perfect and shit. But still, for someone to confirm it, even in a joking manner, that you'd never be good enough to be a true Elf...

It really hurt.

You acted all casual on the outside throughout the rest of the evening, laughing and joking when needed, but internally, you were fighting a dull ache in your chest. You'd gotten it a few times before-- rarely, but still-- and you knew exactly what it was. The desire to fit in. You'd never had a chance on Earth. But here, you'd hoped to at least be considered a part of their realm.

Dammit, why am I so sensitive?! He didn't mean anything by it!

But what were you really doing here? Struggling to prove yourself to a race that would never accept you. To all Elves, you'd be considered an imposter, like Thorin had said. You knew for a fact you'd never be good around "the race of Man," as they put it, and even in this world, you knew you'd never fit in with them, either. At best, the Men would see you only as a rebel Elf trying to fit into the society of Man. Dwarves? Hell no. What about the Hobbit-folk? Maybe you'd at least be considered a friend to them? No, you were an Elf here. They'd be wary of you, maybe even fearful.

Maybe you should just settle for traveling like a vagabond, like Gandalf does. When everyone else was resting, you stayed by Starlight. You scratched underneath of his chin, and he rested his snout on your inner elbow, allowing you to rest your head on his, staring into his eyes and putting off a feeling of calm. "You accept me for who I am, right?"

Starlight's ears were pricked toward you, so at least he was listening. His only response was a blink. You sighed, closing your eyes. You didn't even have the security of him. One day, he'd grow old and pass away, while you lived on for eons. Carefully, so as not to spook him, you reached up and scratched behind his ears.

"Mellonenin?" Said a voice behind you. You turned to see Legolas, looking concerned. He glanced back over his shoulder, to where the rest of the Elves talked amongst themselves, even conversating a little with the dwarves. "What are you doing out here?"

You gave him a smug look. "What's this I hear, Blue-Eyes? Showing concern for me?"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Hardly. Just curious."

You shrugged, going back to loving on Starlight. "Everybody seemed to be doing good without me. Lindir and Elros said my lessons on custom and language were done for the day, so I figured I'd spend some time with Star."

Blue-Eyes shook his head in exasperation. "I will never understand your shortening of names..." He fixed you with an expression that you couldn't quite read. "...Are you nervous about a potential battle, Sairen?"

You shrugged. "Hack'n'slash. Can't be that hard. I have played video games, y'know, and I did get here through a LARP event." You shot him a cocky grin. "I think I can handle myself. Always have."

Blue-Eyes smiled softly. "Well... I am certain you will surpass my father's standards. I have no doubt of it."

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest. Your cheeks flushed. "Thanks. That really... That really means a lot, for you to be sure of me."

Blue-Eyes hummed thoughtfully, smoothing down Starlight's pitch mane. "Your world did not appreciate you as it should have. You are a kind person, Sairen, and while at times you are eccentric, that only adds to your persona. I know that I can put my full trust in you anytime, and not be disappointed." He smiled at you. "I am glad to know you, mellon. I feel as if you were meant to be here."

For a minute, you both just stared at each other with smiles on your faces, while you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Any upset feelings from earlier completely burned away. His pale gold hair looked white in the moonlight. Fuck, I will not cry. I will not. Not at all. Definitely not even having to try... You finally blushed and looked away, busying yourself with straightening Starlight's forelock, though the smile remained on your face.

"Damn, Blue-Eyes. You're making me blush." He laughed, and you added, "But... I'm really glad I know you too, Leggy. You've been nice to me, and actually believe in me..." You smirked at him. "That's rare for me. Thank you."

He looked almost appalled. "You do not need to thank me for taking a liking to you, Sairen. It is not as if it is a chore." Suddenly making up his mind about something, he drew his shoulders back. "Would you like to go for a ride together?"

You beamed at him. "Duh! It's a horse, of course I wanna go for a ride!"

Blue-Eyes laughed. "Come on, then, let's go. Stay close to me; we will be going in the opposite direction of Gundabad, but orcs could still roam these wilds."

You nodded as you mounted Starlight, grinning stupidly down at the stupidly perfect Elf who smiled at you. "Got it. Let's go!"

Your heart was pounding dangerously as the two of you trotted off away from camp, talking about the history of Middle-Earth, as you tried to keep from staring outright at Legolas. As your heart faltered, looking at him smiling at you as the moonlight hit his hair, you realized something...

Shit.

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[wombathos]

stray thoughts - ep6

- (I forgot this last ep bc other emotions but the hordak remembering entrapta thing sure is interesting huh)

- have they... have they adopted him

- they’ve adopted wrong hordak

- are they gonna keep calling him that

- ADORA WANTS TO CHECK UP ON CATRA

- is she ra just gonna come out whenever catra’s in danger

- get you a girl who turns into a big hunky superhero whenever you’re in trouble

- “she was there when her friends needed her” i mean... catra specifically. yes you too glimmer but like glimmer specifically

- “I’m gonna go check on Catra again” - She “big mood” Ra speaking for us all here 

- bow’s really going through it this season huh

- omg look wrong robo is in the intro

- where is catra

- where catra

- there catra

- catra sad??

- flashes again? bitch we in for the angst

- everybody’s getting visions this season

- (side note but guess this explains why the catra trailer shots were so selective and why there were so few of them)

- (tho tbh I think we’re through everyone by now?? no clue what’s gonna happen)

- look at them!!

- oh angst

- tbh hiding away is a big mood, i get where she’s coming from, but also the pain

- my beautiful girl

- sjdjskd adora complaining about catra

- REDEMPTION IS HARD WORK

- give bow a break 2k20

- they’re being tracked huh oh is it catra

- it’s catra

- oh they’ve been all green liquided

- these people lack any sort of genre awareness, you fools need to get out of there

- see they’ve been green liquided what did i say

- ooh we’re getting some prime entrapta and catra angst i see how it is

- you’re gonna make some amends eventually cat girl

- i believe in u

- bitch my heart

- wow

- WOW

- (the way catra always hides in the corner whenever she feels - eh - cornered, my beautiful cat girl please accept some hugs) (like she will just refuse help, make it stop)

- babie

- oh word????

- the angst

- OH MY GOD

- legit cannot deal with this season

- HANDS

- this WHOLE SEASON I CANNOT

- (frost and micah’s relationship development works well here, the thing where he’s going oh it’s not to protect you, yeah)

- ohhhhh

- selfless girl

- big ears don’t let him back in your mind bad bad bad

- adora’s face though!!! when catra talks about him being in her mind!!

- SHE TOOK HER HANDS

- really creepy score here, like this season has some genuinely unnerving music (with the whole oh he’s going to control all of etheria)

- i guess we’re calling it ‘chipped’ not ‘green liquided’

- she babie????

- omg

- did??? she really??? JUST TRANSFORM INTO SHE RA BECAUSE CATRA WANTS TO GO HOME

- omg her new transformation thing she has gotten the ultimate princess power-up she’s like the mega princess now

- catra is feeling the gay tonight

- HORSEY GOT A POWER UP TOO

- i cannot adequately describe with words how awesome this entire battle sequence is, it’s really really good

- the tension i’m feeling fuck

- omg

- SHE SAID THANK YOU AND I’M SORRY AND ENTRAPTA FORGIVES HER MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL

- omg omg

- glimmer.......... thank you

- THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED WTF WTF WTF

- she is just being accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow i cannot

- incredible

- this season huh

- it’s too much truly

- wow

- wow

[elfyourmother]

So, I'm making my way through Stormblood now! It seems like a lot of people treat this expansion like the black sheep of the family, but honestly I am really enjoying it so far. (I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm playing as a Xaela, WRT to the Steppe plotline.) I just met Stark Woad, so I think I'm like, at the halfway point? What was Gisele's reaction to some of the bigger plot points? (Also what's your tag for Hien?) If you get spoilery in your response, I don't mind!

I don’t hate it as much as some people but I seriously have no interest in revisiting any of it in NG+ except the Far Eastern arc and there’s a reason you don’t see me writing fic about it, but for the Lakshmi thing. The Far East was damn near flawless. Even people who hate SB are fairly unanimous that the Azim Steppe in particular is easily the high point of the expansion. Everything goes down hill once you go back to Gyr Abania tbh.

That’s the real problem with SB imo: trying to cram the Ala Mhigo story together with a Far Eastern story just made the whole thing feel disjointed, like they took two different expansions and threw them together in a cheap blender. Lyse’s turn from comic relief side character to spotlight status was poorly executed and in general, despite being a Raubahn stan and a RDM main who started in Ul’dah I legit felt no kind of emotional investment in the Ala Mhigan struggle the way the story made me care about Ishgard (and later, the people on the First). The pacing was questionable and too often it felt like they had a checklist of plot points they had to mark off but they didn’t know how to get from point A to point B, and they didn’t know what to do with certain characters, so they just sort of made things up as they went (the Lakshmi plot is the most egregious example of this to me cuz it’s so out of left field and it really feels a lot like somebody realized “holy shit we forgot to make them fight another Primal this expansion, where can we stick Lakshmi?”). I love Zenos to death but I 100% understand why some find him an underwhelming antagonist, especially in a world that has since given us Emet-Selch. The whole thing really does feel like a first draft

And none of this was especially helped by the fact that SB followed what could have been a top 3 Final Fantasy story if it had been released as a standalone single player game (Heavensward was an incredibly tough act to follow), and in a post-Shadowbringers world SB’s flaws look even worse in hindsight. It really is the weakest link when you put it in the context of being sandwiched by some of the best Final Fantasy and RPG writing period in the last decade.

That said? I would still take Stormblood in a heartbeat over literally anything WoW did since Wrath of the Lich King. If I seem hard on it, it’s only because FFXIV is just that fucking good so my standards are a lot higher.

Anyway Gisele learned to Samurai from Hien and Gosetsu and her job crystal belonged to Lord Kaien. Her opinion of Garlemald is about what you’d expect from a Fereldan of Dalish heritage who used to count the Hero of River Dane as a lover. Gosetsu is like a loud, beloved uncle to her. Hien she fell madly in love with (as did Haurche. He went east with her and the others). He wasn’t the sole reason she became so invested in the Doman struggle; her friendship with Yugiri and the other Doman refugees pretty much ensured it way before she even met Hien. But it helped, admittedly. She really fell in love with the Far East period tbh, to the point she owns property in Shirogane (in game just an apartment, but in my head she has another little cottage there instead).

The only person she despises more than Magnai is Fordola, and she took a great deal of pleasure in beating the unholy shit out of both.

Gisele’s feelings toward Zenos are horrendously complicated. Obviously, she hates what he’s done. But he draws lizard brain shit out of her that she doesn’t understand and also scares the everloving shit out of her. It’s Complicated.

Main thing to keep in mind is that Ysayle and Haurche are still around and are both Scions at this point. Ysayle wasn’t 100% until after Gisele and them came back west though, so she sat out most of the story.

My Hien tag is actual disney samurai prince. Because he is.

[ghosty-schnibibit]

new taz graduation ep liveblog! ^u^

i haven't seen any spoilers but i did see a tweet from travis  about how he's excited for us to hear this ep because a lot of stuff happens and i am hyped!!!

i have never heard bursar pronounced with that hard an “a”

wait do they not... get to keep their items??? jesus that sucks 

fitz my sweet boy

ilu firbolg buddy

play in this space with us justin

fitz is so done and i am as well

literally no one has ever said this firbolg

am i the only one who is getting mad evil vibes off this guy

"snippers, honey-" he loves this dear sweet crab

"i set him on my lap" snippers ilu

HOLY SHIT this is big! go fitzroy :D

ooooh shit, on no, oh my poor boy

this music is ominous and i am worried as hell

are you sure villian doesn't fit you fitroy because wow

i was not assuming the dynamics were going to change this much only six episodes in, hot damn

...huh. this is because of what happened last episode isn't it. hieronymus is giving him a promotion in order to keep him from suspecting anything's wrong with the school. i am very concerned about this

i would very much love to learn about trees from bud

firblog and argo's friendship makes me so happy

i legit thought he said "throat"

"now here is a hungry boy for bark" justin you've killed me

argo what the fuck

he was trolling him the entire time oh my god

oh fun we're doing argo's scene first

OH SHIT, it's the water and stone thing from the second ep

well that's not great :|

never mind, back to bud

how much time has passed exactly??? because with all this talk of new semesters and the baby pegasus having grown so much it sounds like it's been months since the first ep. i like having concrete timelines for things, idk if that's important or not but it feels like it

aww, buddies :')

this background noise is wonderful

i'm gonna cry, firblog my baby

"breeze through the willow" pretty

i cannot overstate how much i love firbolg’s emotional intelligence

demons??? how the heck do demons work in dnd, i need to look this up

this music is so beautiful but i am so worried

travis you are destroying me emotionally

"scarred and beautiful" t r a v i s

aaand theres the ad break! yes it is great so far travis, i am loving this!

i still haven't listened to the live candlenights ep, i need to do that 

yes give me your thought process griffin i want to know the inner thoughts of my boy, give me that emotional complexity

what the fuck is this scene even

i love the idea that fitzroy got told specifically "hey maybe don't tell anybody about this" and he immediately decided to turn around and tell his friends 

TURTLE BUDDY :D

aww poor clint, feel better soon :(

"always" ilu firbolg

a quasit??? the fuck

i was halfway to google already there trav

YEAH THAT'S NOT GREAT

oooh that's some interesting lore there, filing that away for later

firbolg has a better record for remembering library books than i do lmao

i love this so much

"i give you permission to speak as justin" pfffff

i love you agro, also clint you're murdering me here

wait didn't hieronymus say they were coming together

oh dang, good to know there’s less of a hench/sidekick split

i'm glad on a narrative standpoint that fitzroy is sharing the fact that he has misgivings about being villian typecast with argo, and i'm also nervous that argo is so worried about being a villian

justin what the flying fuck are you talking about

i can hear justin trying not to laugh

thunderman of the sea

what the fuck is even going on with this, i have no goddamn idea

"it's what i do best!" so gary is a bug essentially

griffin what the fuck has been the last 10 minutes of this podcast

oh yay, the raccoon :D

oh fun, ranier's birthday :D

why does fitzroy have jellybeans, i want to know this

how would a perception check in a dream go, that's wild

oh what the fuck that is creepy

there's only like ten minutes left in this ep and i am worried for argo

that's a good ol' merle roll lmao

oh god i forgot how much i hate the jackal voice holy shit

is it just me or are some of the mics cutting off at the end and going quiet in places, clint's and travis’s in particular

i just had flashbacks to that one fucking scene in amnesty where the shifter took boyd's voice mid sentence and i'm really not a fan of that

so mom is shebry and the ship is the mariah

what happened, i want to know so bad

what the fuck is going on holy shit i am so intrigued

blood and bone, rain and stone

so his mom is gone, and she wanted him to eventually get him to join, and jackal is involved... oh i cannot wait to see how this goes

i am so worried for all of my sons

well that was a significantly funnier post credits scene lmao

so a lot of things happened in this episode! dang!!! only six episodes into the new season and we’ve already hit some major shakeups in terms of the boy’s situations at the school, it seems like the plot is really starting to gain some steam and i’m still super excited to see where it goes from here

see you all next right thursday! 

[cnrmrphy-blog]

life as we know it

title: life as we know it paring: (eventual) connor murphy x fem!reader  fandom: dear evan hansen  warnings: slight cursing  summary: a mishap with a printer led to what one would probably call a serendipitous encounter.  author’s note: uh, hi!  this is the first thing i’ve written in years, holy shit.  also, this is 100% going to be a self indulgent series like a sitcom of sorts, i don’t necessarily care enough to think of a legit plot atm.  enjoy! 

--

This is bullshit.  Absolute, fucking bullshit.  

You sped walked through the maze of hallways that all looked the fucking same, cursing the universe and whatever god was in charge of it for everything that had to align to bring you to this moment.  It was supposed to be a simple essay.  

“Good luck honey!  The first day is always the easiest!  And it’s senior year!  How exciting!” 

Yeah, okay.  Your mother knew jack shit about high school apparently.  

You sighed.  It wasn’t her fault.  You just can’t find your god forsaken summer assigned essay that you needed for your next class to make a good first impression. Besides, isn’t it a grade or something?  Who assigned an essay as a grade before school even started?

You laughed.  This was bullshit. 

After a few more minutes of walking, you saw a familiar door at the end of the hallway.  A little sigh of relief exhaled from your chest.

 Ah, gotcha!

You walked into the library and glance around.  There was no one in here except two other boys who were talking to each other at the other end of a row of computers, near a printer.  You paid them no mind as you chose the farthest computer away from them and sat down. A few clicks of the keyboard and a message on the screen reading that a few cents were going to be taken out of your school account later and you were waiting for your essay to print. 

“So!  Um, what happened to your arm?” 

You looked up.  One of the boys, a tall one wearing all black with a messenger bag (with some pretty sick buttons, you weren’t going to lie) slung over his body, shuffled his feet and unsurely pointed at the other boy’s arm.  The other boy, wearing a blue polo and khaki pants, fidgeted with his hands and wouldn’t meet the other kid’s eyes.  The whiteness of his cast was almost blinding, the poor guy.  You bit your lip with sympathy. 

“Oh—I, um, fell out of a tree, actually.” 

“Fell out of a tree.  Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my God.” 

“I know.” They both chuckled, but looked like they were at a loss of what to say next. 

You cringed a little bit.  Those boys are the most awkward people I have ever seen, Jesus Christ. 

You didn’t want to eavesdrop.  You really didn’t.  But they weren’t exactly quiet, and what else were you supposed to do?  They’ve piqued your interest. 

“Um, no one’s signed your cast.” The boy wearing black vaguely gestured at the other boy’s cast.  

“No, I know.” The boy in question seemed to shrink into himself, and it kind of broke your heart. 

“Well, I’ll sign it.” 

The pang in your heart crawled up your throat.  That’s actually really sweet.  

It was clear they weren’t friends, but that guy volunteered to sign anyways.  Shit, you wouldn’t mind having friends.  Maybe you should introduce yourself?  Offer to sign the other boy’s cast too?  It would be a great ice breaker after all, and they look like they could be your friend, just maybe— 

Wait, girl, you gotta focus.  Where’s your essay?

Right.  You glanced at the printer next to you only to see that it was empty.

...Okay.  This is fine. 

You glanced at the computer to see the message saying that the printing should be done.  

This is 100% fine.  

You sat back in your chair, sucking in a breath in order to keep from having a mental breakdown in the middle of the library.  You really didn’t need this right now.  You really didn’t need this right now. 

You helplessly stared at the screen in front of you, panic bubbling from your stomach into your throat.  You could try again. Or ask for help.  Which would be logical, right?  God, why couldn’t things just be easy for you for once? 

You looked up at the two boys again, but the mood was not the same as before.  There was fear in the boy in the blue polo’s eyes and rage in the other’s.

Uh, okay?

Your eyes took a quick glance down and saw a few sheets of paper crumpled in the tall one’s hands.  Oooh no. 

“Fuck you!” 

Well, that startled you.  He rushed out of the library and the other boy started frantically calling his name—Connor?—and ran after him.  

Your mind turned off.  You weren’t thinking.  You definitely weren’t thinking.  Because if you were, you would have just let that guy go and ask the librarian for help with your essay.  A few cents out of your account didn’t mean anything—it’s literally just a nickel (a goddamn nickel—if your mother saw you right now, she would so yell at you for your lack of common sense).

But where was the fun in common sense? 

You grabbed your stuff and rushed out after them.  You cursed quietly under your breath because you have no idea where they went, and you realized that there might be a slight flaw in your non-plan.  

Just pick a direction!  What’s the worst that could happen?  If it comes to it you can just tell your teacher that you forgot it at home or something.  

So, you went left.  You sped walked along the lockers, hoping to at least hear them, or see something… 

You turned a corner and saw a flash of a messenger bag with some pretty sick buttons down the hallway.  You picked up your pace, your shoes clapping on the ground and your bag uncomfortably thumping against your back.  You reached the end of the hallway when you heard a sharp clang echo in your ears.  

“Fuck!”

You hesitantly turned the corner to see him cradling his hand (he paints his nails?  That’s pretty cool, actually... Wait, did he punch the locker?) close to his chest, all the while clutching a bunch of papers.  

Bingo.

“Uh, hey!  Connor right?” 

He didn’t look too thrilled for you to be there.  He looked less than thrilled. Actually, he looked downright furious. 

Was now the time for this?  Probably not.  This was definitely not the time for this. 

You got yourself into this mess, girl.  Just power through, it’s fine. 

“Ah, well, it’s just, uh—Okay so I have to turn in this essay for my english class, which is next period, and like, I had a copy but I can’t find it so I figured I could just print out another one, but it didn’t come out of the printer and, like, you pulled out paper from the only other printer in the library, so… uh…” 

Ohmygod, shutupshutupshutUP you dumbass!  Just abort mission! 

Connor’s face shifted from fury to what looked like incredulousness.  Yep, you were well aware you sounded like a lunatic.  You 100% were a lunatic—what were you even doing?  Who in their right mind would do this?

You took a deep breath and powered through. It was probably fine.  “...Sorry.  You have my essay.  Can I have it back?” 

He opened his mouth.  Then closed it.  He looked like a cross between wanting to beat the shit out of something and wanting to ask what the hell is wrong with you.  

You would like to know the answer to that too.  

“...You’re new here, aren’t you?” Connor’s eyebrows furrowed, but they didn’t look necessarily angry.  Just a little confused.  

You weren’t expecting that.  

Your shoulders slumped.  You were really hoping you didn’t stick out like a sore thumb but you can’t win them all.  “Is it that obvious?” 

Connor’s features softened slightly.  His eyes were still cold and guarded, and his jaw clenched and unclenched as if to hold back whatever sharp words he had on his tongue.  But his eyebrows unfurrowed, and he dropped his hands to his sides.  He slumped his shoulders too, and he looked defeated. 

“Yeah, it is.” He slid down the lockers and sat on the floor.  You were still unsure, but you sat next to him.  

“Are… you okay?”  Maybe your need to go after him wasn’t so much about your stolen essay.  He looked so tired… 

Connor glanced over at you, then trained his gaze at the wall in front of him.  “Nah. Used to it though.” 

He unwrinkled the papers and shuffled through them.  he pulled out four sheets and handed it over to you, all the while keeping his focus in front of him. 

“You’re Y/N?” 

You nodded, slowly reaching out to take the papers from him.  You didn’t know what to say—there was something obviously wrong… hell, you were there when he had his little outburst in front of the other kid.  But you didn’t know him.  It wasn’t your place to say anything.  

You didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone either. 

Surprisingly, Connor spoke again, “I think I’m in that class.  I didn’t do the essay.” 

“How come?”

He clenched his jaw. “Didn’t want to.”

He glanced at the paper in his hands and tore at it, almost mindlessly.  There was a crack in his angry, tough facade (it kind of just occurred to you that it was just that—a facade.  He looked more exhausted now than anything.) 

You didn’t speak.  The only sounds in that hallway in that moment were the crinkles of you trying to smooth out your essay and Connor slowly ripping up the paper that was in his hands.  Neither of you said anything, but the silence was welcome. 

The bell rang, startling both of you.  You glanced over to see a pile that resembled hamster shavings that covered his lap and the floor.  A small piece that said Dear Evan stuck out to you.  

Both of you stood up as a cacophony of footsteps echoed through the hallway, approaching the two of you.  Connor brushed off the remaining slips of paper, which fluttered to the floor. 

“So, uh…. You wanna walk together?  To class?” He raised a brow at you and your stomach clenched.  “You—you said we had it together… It’s cool if you don’t want to!”

Wow, just wow.  This is such a great way to make friends.  Good job, Y/N.  It’s clear he wants to be alone, God. 

He looked unsure.  “You… probably shouldn’t be seen with me.  I wasn’t even planning on staying.”

“What?  You’re leaving?” Who in the world was this kid?  Why was he acting like he was diseased or something? “You have to at least wait until the second day to skip.” 

He cracked a smile at that.  It was barely there, just a twitch of the lips, but it was something.  “Okay, yeah.  Whatever.  Let’s go, you probably have no idea where you’re going anyways.” 

You failed at holding back a grin that stretched across your face.  He’s probably not wrong. 

[emeraldspiral]

Part 2 of my Thor rewatch thoughts:

Odin’s Narration:

Wow, they legit showed a child dying on screen in a Marvel movie.

So, I read that the reason Patty Jenkins left TDW was because her vision of the film was a Romeo & Juliet style love story where Thor wants to go to Earth to save Jane from the Dark Elves, who’ve stashed the red kool-aid there specifically because they know Odin doesn’t give a fuck about Earth and doesn’t want Thor to go there, and the studio wanted Jane to go to Asgard instead because we already had a movie where Thor spent a lot of time on Earth and those were the worst parts of the movie. But like, did Patty even watch this movie? Because even if you want to argue that Odin doesn’t care about humanity, the opening battle clearly establishes that he’s not just going to ignore an enemy race going hog-wild expanding their power just because it’s happening on another planet.

Loki not using his ice powers ever in these movies is such a missed opportunity. Like, I remember reading that part of the reason Joss wanted Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver in Age of Ultron was because all the other heroes mainly just had “punchy” powers and super-speed and telekinesis added some new creative dimensions to the battle scenes. Fast forward to today, and who besides Doctor Strange, Ant-Man, or Spider-Man really has anything other than guns/percussive energy blast abilities or super-strength at their disposal? We could’ve had Loki singing and dancing and building ice castles and ski-jumps on the ocean like Elsa but these movies haven’t seen fit to give us what we deserve.

Odin says the battle of Jotenheim was the end of “the last great war”. So it would seem that the day he took Loki was indeed the day he left his conquering ways behind him, which I think adds merit to the theories floating around that there’s some kind of connection between Hela and Loki. Like, Odin banished her because she tried to kill Loki because she blamed him for turning her father soft, or she already knew the writing was on the wall for her after Thor was born and betrayed Odin by having a son with Laufey and Odin’s just been pretending to be his grandson’s father this whole time, or Laufey teamed up with Odin to help take Hela down and that’s why they called a truce.

Honestly, Odin, what were you expecting telling your kids stories about slaying the evil Frost Giants in glorious battle and then when they start talking about wanting to kill them all because they think it’ll make you proud, you just tell them “Hey, don’t be the one to throw the first punch” instead of maybe discouraging the racism so one of them doesn’t end up thinking he’s the monster parents tell their children about at night when he finds out the truth?

Nothing makes me feel old like realizing that they’d have to get new child actors to play young Thor and Loki if they ever wanted to do a story about their childhood but the original actors could totally play teen/young adult versions of the characters.

I mentioned before that what I got from “both of you were born to be kings” was that Odin was planning for Loki to become king of Jotenheim all along, but because Loki didn’t know, it was basically the equivalent of one of those bad sitcom plots where everyone pretends they forgot someone’s birthday so they can surprise them, but then shockingly the birthday boy/girl’s feelings are hurt and they end up like, running away from home or breaking down in hysterics before the party gets started.