#And we so cannot afford for me to lose my job
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Okay not to be dramatic but I think I'm fucked
#Long story short we have a situation at work that we don't have any guidelines for#So I sent it to our technical team for two separate customers to look into it#Only for our team meeting to conclude that we do NOT do that and have the customers wait and see if it resolves itself BEFORE we send it#So that means I just fucked myself over twice and I'm sure I'm gonna get put on a watch of some kind#Like not government watch just a 'making sure you don't Fuck Up again' watch#But like I didn't know what to do? Maybe I shouldn't jumped the gun so much but asking people to wait isn't gonna fix shit!#I'll probably fight it because we again DO NOT have guidelines for this rn and I just went with what seemed logical#But I know I'm still gonna get hit with something for this#And I'm pretty much the only one making money rn. We're pulling from my savings at times which I'm not a fan of but do what you gotta do#And we so cannot afford for me to lose my job#I'm really just hoping shit works out#ramblings about nothing/everything
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Rly pisses me of when people say I need to "take more risks" financially by investing or some shit like that because "boo hoo we're not getting retirement in the future". Like yeah you piece of shit, I know I'll work to death, but I also know investing in the exact thing that's keeping me from owning a house (which is, stocks in hedge funds and housing vultures) is foolish as hell if I TRULY believe I can buy a home.
Also: have you considered the possibility of the stock market crashing and losing everything. Because I did. Because my family has gone through extreme hardships where we barely escaped homelessness thrice now.
#idk man i hate the economy i hate how i am one missed paycheck from losing it all#i hate how i lost 4kg of weight the last 6 months because i can't afford to eat well#i hate how vegetables are expensive#i hate how it's always some rich dumbass telling me i should get a credit card and lose even more of my privacy#so i can 'build credit' (IT'S MEANINGLESS HERE!!!!) when all that's gonna do is be a liability#i hate how i would be one missed payment from entering the bank's blacklist if i lost my job#because guess fucking what? that's what happened to us when i was 3#for a 500 BRL credit card bill we couldn't pay.#god fucking knows how hard my mom worked into getting a miracle out of our pennies. i am not up to that again#being malnourished at 3 and at 14 was enough to me.#i cannot go back to that state again. i REFUSE to let myself waste below 50kg again for the sake of 'the economy'.#fuck you.#jorjposting
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sudden anxiety attack plus wave of dysphoria so bad it got me dry heaving and shaking in the shower lol I have work in the morning
#!!#fuckin no big deal.#middle of dinner too#now my rashers will be burnt#gotta go in tomorrow and be like hey I know you’re firing me soon and we both gotta act like you aren’t#and I gotta go to table 14 and get abused by the customers#good thing everything else in my life is so steady otherwise I’d have a mental breakdown!#no I’ll never afford surgery. no I’ll never be safe enough to start hrt.#YES I can lose my minimum wage job which is currently the only thing allowing me to buy food more than once a month#(I cannot)
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To Those Who Still Hold Onto a Shred of Morality and Humanity - Stand with Us and Don’t Forget Us.
Over 40,000 lives have been lost, with 70% of them being children and women. Among these numbers are my own family members—many of whom I’ve already lost.
My family, my cousin, aunt, their children, and grandchildren were all directly targeted by Israeli airstrikes. I’m sharing a video of my aunt and cousin to reveal the harsh reality we are facing in Gaza. In this video, my aunt bravely shares her story about how the Israeli army airstruck them along with their children and grandchildren. Even if you don’t understand Arabic, just watching her speak will help you grasp the immense suffering we are enduring in Gaza. You can see the vedeo in this post.
The few family members who remain are in grave danger, and I’m terrified of losing them too. We have a chance to make a real difference and give my 24 surviving family members a chance to live.
In Gaza, jobs are non-existent, and nonprofit organizations like the UN have drastically reduced their work on the ground. Basic necessities such as milk, food, and medicine are almost as expensive as gold. My family is struggling to afford even the essentials, and my mother urgently needs medication that we simply cannot afford.
I’m also sharing another video that shows the daily struggle people face just to get clean water. The suffering here extends far beyond my family; it’s a genocide affecting every aspect of life in Gaza.
Thanks to the generosity of those who have already donated, we’ve raised $535 toward our goal of $190,363- august 17th. I’m deeply grateful to each of you, but we still have a long way to go, and I need your help more than ever. Imagine if it were your family—how would you feel if they were in this situation?
For those who have created special posts or reblogged to amplify my voice, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support means everything to me and to my family. If you haven’t yet shared our story, please take just one minute to do so. Your voice could be the lifeline my family desperately needs.
You cannot continue to treat human lives as mere numbers. This is a genocide that demands immediate action. How many more should be killed before you all wake up? Will 40,000 lives be enough to stir us to action? 50,000? 100,000? 150,000?
Asking for donations and charity is something we never imagined having to do in Gaza before the war, and it’s heartbreaking that it has come to this. But if everyone who saw my last post donated just $10 or $20, we could reach our goal in no time. If you’re looking for a way to contribute, consider giving up your coffee, tea, or other “cup” for one day, one week, one month, or anything in between. Then, donate what you would have spent to help me. Please help us and donate now!
This is about more than just donations—it’s about preserving human lives and upholding our shared moral values. Your contribution can make a world of difference in our survival and ensure I don’t lose more of the people I love.
Demanding an end to this suffering is a matter of basic humanity. You cannot remain neutral in the face of such genocide. Please, let’s stand together. Enough is enough.
Every donation, no matter how small, brings us closer to hope and healing. Thank you again for your kindness and support. I will never forget it.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed even as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
Important note: ** 105 Swedish kr is just 10$ ** 1050 Swedish kr is just 100$ ** 10500 Swedish kr is just 1000$
Please share !
@humansofnewyork@intersectional-feminist @intersectional-feminists@intersectional-feminism @intersectional-feminist-killjoy
@thepeoplesrecord@socialjusticekitten-blog @socialgoodmoms @nowthisnews @socialgoofy
@theblogofawesome@fightforhumanity-rpg-blog @fightforhumanity-rp@queerandpresentdanger @progressive-pride
@radicalsocialworker @activistminds @mybelovedworld @hopeandresist @solidarityisimportant-blog
@solidarityissbliss @solidarityisnotaslogan-blog-blog @unified-multiversal-theory @feministacansada
@feministactionsupportnetwork @globalvoices @save-the-world-but-lose-her @save-the-world-one-day-at-a-time
@save-the-world-tonight @wip-wednesday @daily-writing-prompts @allthingswordy @writerscorner-blog
@fictionfood @wordsthat-speak @writerscunts-blog @storyshots-blog @wordsnstories-blog
@writeblr @thewritingcaddy @fictionwriting2 @inkstay @creativepromptsforwriting @interact-if
#gaza#palestine#free palestine#genocide#palestinian genocide#all eyes on gaza#humanity#charity#donate#humanitarian aid#gaza genocide#free gaza#help gaza#pray for gaza#poltiics#current events#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#olympics#gravity falls#the umbrella academy#interview with the vampire#iwtv#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#ffxiv#acotar#art#artists on tumblr
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I need a good scream!!!!!
#I've literally never been this stressed in my life I just want to cry#no msgs about this please I just want to vent!!!#my dad lost his job and he doesn't have a college degree and my mom already works 3 jobs like idk what's gonna happen#he also has a medical condition and can't be in a public place too long so it's hard to find another job#I was literally planning to move to london this fall for grad school but I don't think it's gonna happen now#we just cannot afford it now I don't want to put that stress on my parents ever#but I didn't apply anywhere else!!! and all the apps for US schools are closed#I had to quit my job to become my grandmas caretaker so like now I have to find a job#and all this is a secret from the rest of my family obvs so I can't vent to my cousin who is my best friend#and on top of allllll this! my sister and I have tickets to go to Canada this summer for our cousins graduation#and we leave in 7 weeks and my sister just told me last night she realized her passport is expired#so NOWWWW there's an added stress of is her passport gonna come in time or do we lose money we spent on her flight#and there's so much other shit I don't even have the energy to type out UGGGGHHH
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🚨Urgent🚨
🚨Help my family and I to evacuate Gaza and stay safe.
Hello, I'm Samira from northern Gaza.
My family, consisting of seven members, and I are currently displaced Rafah area in the south .
We are now in a small tent, very scattered, with no safe place, and my elderly parents need medical treatment, which we cannot afford.
We only have unhealthy food. Everything we had was destroyed by the occupation, My family’s home and my job.
We no longer have hope for living a safe and happy life. After losing hope, intense frustration, and great sadness as a family who hopes that we live in healthier environment and a life we deserve , we decided to leave our country and travel to start our life from scratch outside Gaza so that we can live a happy and safe life so we can ensure secure future with a happy life in which there are no wars, hunger, fear, displacement, and heartbreak.
However, I will not be able to do that without your assistance and support. Don’t make escaping from Gaza impossible
Every dontation will help me and my family to survive.
#donations#donate if you can#send help#please help#pls help#help#fundraising#go fund them#go fund me#fundrasier#gofundme#go fund her#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#all eyes on rafah#save rafah#please please please#please reblog
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i told me boss i’d be about an hour late this morning, and i am still sitting in a pile of blankets way later than that
sometimes when i;ve done this she;s texted me mid-morning and told me to take the day, and i honestly think that’;s subconsciously what i am angling for today by pretending to still be asleep, we’ll see what happens but i do not feel, like, capable of being a human outside the four walls of this apartment today
#me every single time this happens: is this the first stage of agoraphobia?#(my mom didn't go more than a few blocks from the house between like 2000 and 2013 when she died so like. i worry. we had a lot in common)#lmao how about instead of catastrophizing you just accept it's a shit day and you're allowed to want to be alone for those#if anyone asks me about mosquitos or christmas lights today i might lose my fucking mind#yes it's my job but no i don't care! today! i don't care today!#normally i compartmentalize well and don't care that i am selling luxury home services i personally couldn't afford#that's called the service industry baby! i'm not special! but like#today i just cannot care i can't i won't#and if i am forced to pretend i will not be able to be convincing#amber personal#WHINING
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Two takeaways right now that I really cannot stress enough: 1) We cannot afford to keep spouting the "The American public is fucking stupid" and "Republicans are dumb and uneducated" rhetoric. I have already seen a new resurgence in the past 24 hours. Yes, it's true: One in five Americans are functionally illiterate. Many of them live in states like New Mexico and Mississippi, below the poverty line, with underfunded educational institutions, and very little access to resources to help them. A staggering amount of USAmericans read below a sixth grade level. This is not a moral failing. This is not their fault. This is a societal failing, an infrastructure failing. We've been failing the rust belt for decades and it's only getting worse. And it does not help our cause if we continue to turn up our noses and say they're all stupid cousin-kissing hillbillies who deserve what they're getting. That only helps Trump. That is how we got here. The division only helps the people in power to keep up the grift. As long as we continue to disparage and underestimate working people from the Midwest and the American South, we will continue to lose. They are tired of being condescended to, and that is why they like Trump. He at least pretends (badly, but he at least pretends) that he cares about their interests.
Remember this bit of propaganda?
All the way back from 1754?
We have to stop fighting each other. We cannot afford to continue saying 'Trumpers are stupid and hateful and uneducated' and continue this us-against-them mentality. It is JUST as bad as my Midwestern parents who say that Democrats are evil satanic child-killing communists. I grew up steeped in that environment. I fully believed it. Many people are just as scared as you are. They are working with the information they have. They believe they are doing the right thing, just as you do. They are watching their communities literally disintegrate and the only person that promises to bring them jobs is Donald Fucking Trump. And he is employing every propaganda tactic in the book to grift them. A big part of the lies the Republican party loves to spout is that they're persecuted and they're underdogs -- I grew up in this environment. It stems from an Evangelical worldview that to be righteous is to be persecuted. Disparaging these people, insulting them, condescending them, only feeds this narrative. The only way I got out of this mentality was by having access to community college, meeting kind people outside my bubble who were willing to have a conversation with me, and finally getting education that wasn't steeped in evangelical propaganda.
I invite you all to go and watch Megan Phelps-Roper's TEDtalk (or read her book, it's excellent) about how she left her family's cult. The only thing that broke through that fog of 'We are persecuted and therefore righteous' was when people stopped throwing cups of hot liquid and piss at her (when she was a child!), and started being kind and empathetic. We all can stand to learn a lot from stories like hers. The second that evil god-hating people started being kind to her was the second she began to question everything she'd been taught.
Yes, it's very easy to look at these people spewing hateful rhetoric and label them as evil. But they're not. The people exploiting all of us are evil. The people exploiting fear and division are evil. We need to call for accountability with news outlets, to fund grass-roots efforts to give adults with educational gaps access to help. Many of them simply could not continue going to school because their families were impoverished and they had to work so they could fucking eat. Many of them have undiagnosed disabilities because they do not have insurance to even go to a doctor. To be ignorant is not a moral failing. Willful ignorance? Absolutely. But ignorance, no. The only thing we can do now is be kind, invite people into discussion, and remember that the only enemy is the oppressor in power who views everybody as pawns and dollar signs. We are all the same to them.
2) Please do not fall into the trap of thinking this means that your vote does not count. Voting is more important than ever. You need to vote in your local elections. You need to. The Senate and the House are the lawmakers and the people in charge of declaring war. They have term limits. They are not untouchable. They are the only people now who are capable of checking Trump. And your local mayors, councils, etc are the people who are going to make the real difference between public healthcare, good education, censorship, civil rights, housing, etc. States have an immense amount of freedom to operate. That is how I have access to incredible free healthcare in mine. That is how we have one of the best public transit systems in the country. That is how we placed penalties on industries and got rid of smog and heavy pollution in the 70s. That is how we have gay bars and drag brunches and well-funded libraries. That is all local-government stuff. If you want your communities to change, you HAVE to vote locally. Please, please, please do not give up and think your vote doesn't matter. It does. It matters immensely.
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Hello my fellow ghost, I have this idea that came to my mind while reading some crack sites, imagine a Creator! Reader irritated, did not sleep well, a lot of work any excuse and goes for a walk to clear his mind, then simply sticks on the little finger with some object.
He shouts: FOR THE NAME OF!!, I AM STAR TO SERIUSLY CONSIDERING ERASE (nation in which it is) OF THE MAP.
Along with another irrelevant insult, then how would they react if some acolyte is near or even better the archons of a certain nation. I don't know, I laughed for myself thinking about this and I do not know if you will also find it funny.
In any case if you do not feel free to ignore or if you want some idea to write the priv is available. Bird says goodbye
Hello, @pajarokujo ! Though I do not see the humor, I can get what you're going for! (Is this how Tighnari and Collei feel when Cyno cracks a joke?— /lh)
I'll just do the Archons for this since I think they'd have the best reactions LOL
Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Tantrum
You were a little furious. You hadn't mean what you said, but in the attempt to calm yourself down, you jabbed at one part of the map and screamed, "THIS NATION. I WANT IT DECIMATED. PERMANENTLY." forgetting completely that you were the Creator and your booming voice could be practically heard by everyone.
Yes...they're panicking.
(Warning: Might Be OOC & Written Before 4.1 Special Program!)
Venti
Wisp boy is now panicked wisp boy. He ain't gonna stop trying to find a solution to save Mondstadt from your wrath until he drops dead. Quite literally.
Man, this bard is going crazy—all of his ballads have a slight air of panic to it, since everyone practically heard your threat from beyond the heavens.
So when you practically run into Mondstadt to personally reassure everyone that you aren't going to decimate the nation, Venti immediately sees your presence as his doom. He tries to keep it cool, and it sort of works? (It doesn't)
"AHAHA, YOUR GRACE!~ COME JOIN THIS HUMBLE BARD TO SEE THE GREAT TREE OF VANESSA!" "Venti, I swear to you, I—" "YOUR GRACE, IT'S WORTH IT PLEASE—"
Yeah, he's not taking the news well. But at least he'll collapse from relief knowing Mondstadt wasn't in danger after you clear up your mistake so yeah 👍 Good job, Creator!
Zhongli
The moment he hears you say that, this man is both protective over his baby (his nation) and hella scared of what the heck you're going to do to erase the Geo Nation off of the map.
When you try to enter Liyue, you "coincidentally" bump into Zhongli who tries to distract and stall you from your "objective," while also try and figure out your motive.
"Your Grace, may you please accompany me to Jueyun Karst? I believe the view there might be well, and I am in need of finding Jueyun chilis." "Zhongli, I—" "Thank you, Your Grace. Please, accompany me."
He does his absolute best to prove to you that Liyue is not a nation worth decimating for. When he hears that it was all just a misunderstanding and that, no, you weren't planning on destroying Liyue at all, he sighs in relief and decides to treat you all to tea.
Even you know y'all need it.
Raiden Ei
Gurl's not having a good time. It's almost like pre-Inazuma Archon Quest all over again. Ei's doing her best to make sure that Inazuma is the most well-behaved nation and yeah, it's kind of a disaster
The moment you step foot into Inazuma, you immediately sent to Tenshukaku to talk to Raiden Ei. She's even got Yae Miko on board with this—they cannot afford to lose Inazuma.
"Your Grace, please listen." "Ei, please—" "Inazuma has diligently followed all your orders, and we will continue to do so if you bless our nation with the chance to continue to thrive." Ei is almost going back to a similar state of being "close to the heavenly principles," only except she's here in the present and not in her eternal meditation.
The moment you get her to hear you out and that, no, Inazuma's not going anywhere, she nearly deflates on the spot. But, as she's the Raiden Shogun, she tries her best to stay composed.
Nevertheless, she's forever relieved that Inazuma is still favored by you.
Nahida
Like the others, she panics. While she is heavily worried about her subjects, and how they're faring, she has to leave that to the Akademiya's Grand Sage while she tries her best to find the reason as to why you want to decimate Sumeru.
She's heavily in thought and the moment you barge into the Sanctuary of Surasthana, Nahida immediately panics, thinking this is the end—the time you tell her to step down and watch Sumeru fall. Nevertheless, she wants Sumeru to live, and she tries to put up a fight.
"Your Grace, please tell me—what is it that made you hate Sumeru?" "Nahida, please...." "We've done nothing wrong, as far as I am aware of. Is there something that was done that makes you think Sumeru betrayed you?" She's determined to not only stall, but get you to tell your (non-existent) reasoning as to why you want Sumeru destroyed.
She's probably the easiest archon that you will be able to tell them that it was not true, and when Nahida hears this, she is both relieved, overjoyed, and making a mental note of your temperament.
Yes, she's going to five you her research about how to deal with your mood. Have fun!~
Furina
Boy oh boy...if you thought Venti was dramatic, Furina goes FULL ON dramatic. The moment she hears this, it's almost like the prophecy all over again. She panics, and she immediately demands that the charges against criminals become more brutal, and that their theatrics and soap opera are to be only top-peak level. (Neuvillette's getting a headache dealing with her, you can tell—)
When you manage to get to Fontaine, you almost don't even recognize it. The citizens are so quiet when you arrived, and moving away from you respectively as Furina immediately rushes forward and whisks you away to the Opera Epiclese to entertain you.
"Furina, please listen—" "Don't you worry about a thing, Your Grace, for I, Focalors, shall show you how Fontaine will regain your approval through their justice, and through their opera!" "Furina—" "Please, Your Grace, rejoice in our spectacles, and enjoy the feast that is brought to your majesticness!"
We know all too well that Furina is a good actor. And this situation really proves how much she's hiding her panic, despite the fact that it's killing her. She's probably the most difficult, a little above Ei, archon that will hear you out about your accidental temperament.
When you somehow manage to get Furina to listen, she immediately deflates on the spot, before immediately putting back on her elegant posture. She asks Neuvillette to go back to normal charges, and she lowers the bar for the stories, allowing her subjects the breathing room that they're used to.
She treats you to Fontaine desserts, so win-win, yeah?
And we're done! I hope you guys enjoyed it lol—See you next time! :D
Ghost Rebel Side Notes: THIS TOOK TOO LONG—MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SJGHKJGHEUHSIE SORRY-
Please feel free to send me any of your requests for Fontaine! I'm too obsessed rn lol—especially Fremmie (Freminet)!!! Anyways, hope y'all doing well lol—see you next time :)
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
#sagau genshin#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#sagau x reader#genshin self aware#sagau#yandere sagau#genshin cult au#sagau brainrot#sagau cult au#sagau venti#sagau zhongli#sagau ei#sagau nahida#sagau furina
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The days continue like that.
Fox tries his best to continue focusing solely on Leia. He feeds her, plays with her, puts her down for a nap. Feeds her, bathes her, puts her to bed.
They continue to keep watch in turns. Ben stays up first, while Fox sleeps the best he can, and then he stays up until the suns start to rise.
Then they do it all over again.
Ben does most of the housework. Fox thinks that he takes pity on him, and lets him focus on taking care of Leia, instead of making him do any of the maintenance that the house needs every day. Fox tries not to feel too bad about it.
The days and nights go by.
Leia starts to get a little restless. Fox hasn't had the courage to let her outside, in case they are spotted. Or in case there are any of the gangs or other dangers lurking around. Or because the days are hot, and Leia's skin is light and sensitive, and Fox doesn't want to expose her to the suns too much.
He sees Ben watching them. It almost looks like he is getting a little restless, too.
That night, after Fox has gotten Leia to fall asleep, Ben speaks.
"I think we are out of immediate danger now", he says. "Of course, it might just be because they haven't managed to track us down yet, but perhaps we can afford to relax a little."
Fox is not sure if he wants to relax a little.
He is, quite frankly, a little afraid of what will happen if he does so.
He can see that there is something else tied to what Ben is saying, though.
"Are you getting tired of staying inside the house with us around the clock, Kenobi?" He asks.
Ben makes a little huff. Fox doesn't know if it's a laugh or a sigh.
"Not that I don't enjoy your company", he says. "But I do have a job. Or at least I had a few days ago. I might already be laid off for not turning up for my shifts. Things are a bit scarce here, and even though there are various jobs available, getting one that is at least somewhat on the side of legality is always a bothersome thing. And, since things are scarce, they cost credits. Even more so now, as there are three mouths to feed, instead of one."
He looks at Leia, and smiles slightly.
"Even if one of the mouths is smaller than the other two", he says. He sounds fond as he speaks, and there is a look in his eyes that Fox knows.
He wonders who exactly Ben is thinking about when he looks at her.
"I do have credits on me", he says. "A lot of them."
Ben turns to look back at him. He raises a brow.
"And they cannot be traced back to you?" He asks.
"No", Fox answers. "They were reserved exactly for a situation like this. Just like everything else we have with us."
He decides not to think too much about that right now. He's doesn't have the energy to start and really think about how everything they have with them is everything they currently have left.
Ben nods. He is quiet for a while, clearly thinking.
"I will still go out tomorrow, to see if I still have a job", he says. "We do need to get more supplies as well at some point. Might as well do it at the same time."
That is true. Fox has supplies with him, but they are not going to last forever, and they need to keep up a stock, in case they need to leave again.
So he nods.
"Good. I will leave more weapons for you. But do not stay and fight. If they come, flee. Do not worry about me or anyone else."
Fox nods again.
It's for the best. If he flees, they will probably not go after the boy.
"I don't think I could even fight against all of them", he admits. "It would be a losing battle from the start. Most likely Vader himself would come after her-"
He stops talking when he sees the expression on Ben's face.
He looks like he has seen a ghost.
He stands there, his face white and his eyes wide, and Fox isn't sure if he is even breathing anymore.
He looks more like a ghost himself.
"Ben?" Fox calls. He doesn't seem to hear him. "Ben? General Kenobi?"
Nothing.
"Obi-Wan?"
That gets him to move again. Ben breathes in sharply, and his eyes focus fully back on Fox.
"He..." His voice comes out as a strained whisper. "He's...alive? Anakin is alive?"
Fox nods.
Ben sits down on the floor. He stares at the wall, and when he doesn't get up after a while, Fox stands up, and carefully pulls him back to his feet. He walks him all the way to the bed and makes him sit down on it, next to Leia, who is thankfully still sleeping.
Ben doesn't say anything. He just keeps staring somewhere, somewhere beyond the walls of the house.
Fox takes the first watch for the night.
#well that cat is out of the back finally#in fox's defense he didn't know that obi-wan didn't know#there has been some breaks in the communication there#also do you think that obi-wan reacted when fox called him by his full name because he sounds like cody-#I'm gonna put all the snippets I have so far up on ao3 when I get back home on sunday!#sw#tcw#Star Writing#my writing#Commander Fox#Obi-Wan Kenobi#Leia Organa#Runaway AU
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I really see the impact of lukewarm choice feminism in my area when I hear stories from my young female coworkers. One told me about her friend who is around 20 years old, who was diagnosed with endometriosis and told by her doctor that she could never get pregnant. So she never used contraception, and ended up getting pregnant by some bum. And then my coworker, trying to be supportive, told her well, it's your choice, knowing that her friend was upset about being told she could never get pregnant. She told her, you don't have to stay with the man who got you pregnant, you can totally raise a baby alone. Well, maybe if you have money. This girl has no college education and is working a minimum wage job. So she is forced to live with this bum who barely works and she doesn't even really know him. And now she's stuck there with him and this baby.
And all these women are just trying to comfort each other while they try frantically to stay on top of the basics of their lives, and maintaining imbalanced relationships that are foisted upon them, which they cannot just let go lest they lose support from their families, which is the only thing keeping them afloat; and they try maintain some illusion of control over their lives, not knowing there are forces far greater than them colluding to keep them in exactly these situations. There is no choice. But they have to keep telling themselves that there is, because otherwise, what hope do they have to keep on living in such dreadful situations? Meanwhile, women with means and opportunities get to spout off all kinds of nonsense about choice, when it is just a game to them. Women without means and without opportunities who look up to those other women take it to heart, because it sounds so nice; and they are the ones who suffer the consequences of privileged women's irresponsible talk. They're stuck the rest of their lives playing catch-up, trying not to let their babies die, trying to feed themselves, trying to pay rent. Exhausted, addicted to cigarettes and marijuana and god knows what else just to get through the day. Barely able to afford to eat. So stressed they have no appetite. Going through the day in a fog. What kind of life is that?
We really cannot afford lukewarm feminism. Radical feminism is the only kind of feminism that can help women like this. And when I talk radical feminism to them, their eyes just light up. We have so much fun in the kitchen when I start talking radical feminism and they get so excited about real analysis that actually applies to their lives and their situations. Yet I know I am the only woman in their lives talking frankly like this about sexual politics and power dynamics. It can't just be me. And it can't just be in the kitchen.
They all know the truth about it all, because they are living it. They are not stupid. They are everyday women in terribly exhausting situations. Many come from conservative evangelical backgrounds, and they are my friends. They need radical feminism more than anybody. I won't leave them behind.
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-lifeguard!James Potter x reader
He haunts me everywhere I go.
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“James, you’ve a pool to be guarding” you giggle as he pushes you against the lockers the cold metal sending a shiver across your flushed skin. It’s probably been the most boring day, which was surprising with how hot it was.
He pushes himself against you, his hands against your hips. Enjoying the way you squirm ever so slightly as he leaves a trail of kisses from your jaw down to your neck.
“Mhm, my shift is over in like a minute sweetness” he tries to reason, his hands rubbing against the curves of your sides.
He’s so undeniably pretty underneath the afternoon light, the orangey hues dusting against his sun-kissed skin. You notice how his damp curly hair sticks against his forehead and how there’s a slight glisten to his naked chest.
“Remus will come looking for us” you whisper and you don’t think he’s listening as he continues to pepper kisses across your skin, his teeth nipping at the sensitive parts of your neck. He loves the small sighs that fall from you and how your fingers thread through his hair urging him closer to you.
He smiles against your sticky skin, “He definitely won’t he’s too busy with Sirius” he tells you, fingers dancing dangerously on the waistband of your bikini pants. “God you’re so pretty, you know that? Splashing around in that pool” He smiles at the way you go all bashful as his thumb grazes along your jaw.
“Yeah, you remind me like ten times a day” You giggle, and he whispers a quiet ‘good’ against your lips. You can hear the splashing of the water just outside the locker room, the laughter and different conversations but you just cannot bring yourself to care as James completely takes your breath away, tilting his head to deepen the sweet kiss.
He pushes his tongue against yours and you can taste the sweetness of the cherry lollipop he had earlier, you think you might just go insane.
“James, really we shouldn’t- you’ll get into so much trouble” You let out a breathy giggle as he rests his forehead against yours.
He knows you’re right and he definitely cannot afford to lose this job, not when you two have an apartment, “Alright, you’ll still keep my company right?” He chides, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“Yeah of course- who knows I might need you to save me” you tease, running your hand down his stomach. Your finger hooks underneath the sting of his whistle that hangs around his neck, and you pull him down to give him one last sweet kiss. He watches as you walk back outside, eyes falling to the sway of your hips, chasing after you with love-sick eyes.
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#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter drabble#james potter one shot#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#james potter#james potter fluff#james potter fic#james potter fanfiction#james potter blurb#marauders era#the marauders imagine#the marauders#the marauders x reader#the marauders fluff#the marauders fanfiction#the marauders x you#marauders x reader#marauders imagine#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#marauders fanfiction#marauders
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The Butterfly Effect
Chapter 1
Ok so it’s been a whileeeeeee since I’ve written anything lol but I’ve been reading more House of the Dragon fanfics and got ✨inspired✨ by @sepherinaspoppies and @evagreen-stories so if this vibes with you check their stuff out! This will be a dark fic though just a warning for y’all.
Guess this was longer than I intended but I wanted all of the introductions and start of the story in one part. Any feedback or comments are appreciated but never expected! I hope you enjoy!
Trigger warnings: none yet but there will be more next chapter
The heat in the kitchens was more unbearable than usual. The air in the room was typically stuffy due to the large stone ovens the Westerosi people used, but you had forced yourself to become accustomed to the heat. It was worth the effort; however, as having a steady job as a woman was near impossible in this day and age.
You craned your neck down to look at the dough you were rolling and silently thanked your mother for forcing you to help in her bakery as a child. You grew to enjoy baking as you grew up, and luckily had many recipes memorized. You needed money and there were worse ways to get it.
Sweat rolled down your temple as you remembered running through the streets of silk in your jogging outfit, eyes darting fearfully around watching the prostitutes lure in new customers as you took in a new and scary world.
“What is it this time?” The head chef, Naerys, walked over to you, eyeing your work curiously.
You gave the older woman a smile as finished rolling out the dough. “It’s called a croissant. If done right it should be flakey on the outside and airy on the inside.”
Naerys nodded thoughtfully and motioned for you to continue.
“Now we need to let it sit for a while before we store it in a cool place.” You tried to pull your hands from the sticky dough and squeezed any remaining part of it off your fingers as you spoke.
“Impressive work as always.” Naerys gave you a motherly smile as she continued. “We should be prepared for tomorrow.”
“Should be?” You arched a brow at that. “I have prepared everything as much as I possibly can unless you want me to throw it all into the oven now.” As much as you enjoyed your job baking tarts and cakes, your bones creaked from carrying in heavy sacks of flour and longed for sleep.
“Now don’t give me that look, love,” Naerys sighed. “You do good work, and meal wise we are well prepared for tomorrow; however, Ursa fell ill today. We need you to attend to the feast.”
You sighed as you knew where she was going with this. Different worlds or not bosses always have the same look when asking you to go above and beyond your job. And of course the maidservant that tended to the royal family fell ill on the day that Princess Rhaenyra returned to the Red Keep.
“It’s not forever,” Naerys rushed to get out. “Just until Ursa is well again. We cannot afford to lose you here.” You and your recipes more likely. You knew that the nobles enjoyed your modern pastries and more than often found yourself making extra batches to fit the demand. “And if you do this we’ll have Alannys bring in the new bags of flour.” Now that was certainly tempting and your hands were already aching from the massive load you brought in today yourself. What harm could bringing a few plates out do?
You fidgeted with the strings of your apron, white flour clinging to the fabric. “Fine.” You begrudgingly gave in. “I’m not sure what exactly to do though. I’ve never tended to the tables, much less a royal one at that.”
Naerys gave a small exhale of relief and smiled at you brightly. “We’ll have someone else carry in the platters, all you need to do is fill their goblets with wine. Most of the time they will hold it out for you to fill.” Naerys grabbed a nearby clean apron and handed it to you while motioning at your dirtied one. “You must change that though and rebraid your hair my dear, you’ll need to look clean and presentable for the royal family.”
“Of course.” You nodded and quickly untied the old apron. “Is there anything else that I need to know? What will happen if the pitcher runs out of wine?” The dirty apron hit the ground with a light thud as you reached for the clean one. It smelled slightly of soap and was sharply pressed. Naerys was not joking about you looking presentable it seemed.
“Ah yes, the eldest prince, Aegon, will no doubt drink heavily.” She hummed, watching as you finished refastening the apron and removed your cap. At first you thought the big white hat that the servants wore was goofy, but now you appreciated how it would hide any loose curls or hairs as you redid your braids. “Once it is empty you can hand it to a nearby footman and he will fetch you another. Now, let me get a look at you.” Naerys eyed you carefully and pulled your cap back over your head. “Good. Now make haste to the dining room love, you must be there before anyone else.”
She smiled at you one more time as she shoved the pitcher into your hands. “Oh!” She exclaimed softly. “I almost forgot. Do not look them in the eyes, you are not to be seen or heard and try not to eavesdrop as hard as that may be. You will do wonderful.” With that the older woman turned and headed towards another cook toiling over a fire, only pausing to pick up your discarded apron.
You nodded your head quickly, perhaps trying to convince yourself of that very thought as you hurried out of the kitchens. You weren’t sure if the events of Fire and Blood will have changed since you were thrown into this tumultuous world, and you prayed to anyone that would listen that it hadn’t. As gruesome as the Dance of the Dragons was, it was better that you knew what was going to happen before it did.
The Red Keep was much larger than the shows and book made it seem and you still found yourself getting lost in the more obscure winding hallways. It was lucky that the royal dining room was near the library. Although you weren’t allowed entry to the room you still enjoyed walking past it and smelling the old books whenever you could. It reminded you of another time, another world. One that you wished you could go back to.
It was odd how one small choice had led to the upheaval of your entire life.
You needed to snap out of those thoughts. You needed to focus on the task at hand. The past was in the past. You watched as the doors that lined the halls grew more and more ornate as you walked the long trek from the kitchens to the part of the castle the royal family inhabited.
The usually quiet halls covered with plush rugs and richly colored tapestries were bustling as other servants ran around, trying to perfect every last detail before the royal family came for dinner.
You picked up on the smells of honey roasted ham and other various dishes that made your mouth water. Although you worked in the kitchens day in and day out, you never had a chance to sample the food you served to others. Usually it didn’t bother you, you would go back to your small hut near the castle entrance where you shared a home with three other servants and made your own meals. But that didn’t stop your stomach from grumbling slightly as you entered the large dining room. When was the last time you had something to eat?
“Ah there you are!” A footman who had a striking resemblance to a weasel came rushing over to you as your eyes darted around the room. There were a few musicians in the back of the room, testing and strumming their instruments softly and chattering about something you could not overhear. In the middle of the room was a large table filled to the brim with food that you had a part in cooking.
“The king is about to arrive. You may stand over there.” The man gently grabbed your arms and led you across the room into a small barely noticeable alcove next to great velvety curtains that framed windows larger than you.
You only nodded dumbly as he rushed away. You didn’t know what to respond with and even if you did you didn’t know how to phrase it. The people in Westeros spoke some type of Old English that you had trouble mimicking and even back home when there were no odd phrases you had trouble conversing with others. Perhaps if you were lucky everyone would think you were dumb and wouldn’t notice you. You knew of Prince Aegon’s habits with other maids and already regretted agreeing to serve the family.
You were snapped back to reality as cheerful chattering grew closer and the Velaryon boys strode into the room with Princess Rhaenyra and her husband Prince Daemon in tow.
“The Red Keep certainly looks different.” You overheard Jace say to Lady Baela.
“It looks more like the Sept of Baelor but greener.” Baela scoffed, earning a small chuckle from her father.
“It is rather garish is it not?” He responded, pulling out a chair near the middle of the table for his wife before seating himself next to her.
The Princess smiled at the sentiment while Jace and Baela sat across from the pair. “It seems like Alicent has had a hand in the decorations.”
It was as if her words had summoned the queen herself, as Alicent entered with her arm intertwined with the King’s keeping him steady as he struggled to shuffle over to his chair.
If this was following the show this would be his last night alive. You felt the hairs on your arms raise as he fell into his seat harshly but smiled at his daughter with a content expression.
“How good it is to see your face my dear.” He huffed out, ignoring his other children seating themselves on his other side. You noticed in particular as the One-eyed Prince started drinking as soon as he sat down.
Perhaps Aegon wouldn’t be the drunkest tonight after all. You walked on the edges of the room trying to remain unseen as the younger Prince raised his cup for more. You slowly obliged his silent request, focusing more on trying not to over fill the cup than the conversation at hand.
With that done, you stepped back silently and noticed that his brother had also finished. If the dinner had just started and the Princes kept up this pace it’d be a long meal.
The minutes passed slowly as you occasionally refilled cups, more on the green side than the blacks.
Everything seemed to have been going well. Both Rhaenyra and Alicent were talking and laughing with the king before he had to be taken to his chambers to rest. And even you smiled as Jace offered to dance with his aunt. Helaena always was your favorite out of the bunch. And she looked happy as the two of them spun around, something she must not have felt often being married to Aegon.
You flinched as you heard someone clearing their throat and remembered why you were there. Your smile fell quickly as your eyes met the younger Prince’s sneer.
“Oh. Sorry.” You whispered out softly, rushing over to his side. Your hands shook slightly as you watched the red wine pour into his cup. Unlike the other times you attended to the Prince, this time you felt his sharp gaze on you as you worked. Perhaps he just thought you were lazy. You didn’t dare look up though. While the older brother was more often than not blackout drunk, the younger prince was known for his short temper that seemed to be set off at anything and everything. You remembered watching as other maids cried from his stern words and begged for reassignment.
“At least someone is enjoying themselves tonight.” He scoffed, talking quietly so only you could hear. “I’m sure for someone of your…” He paused as his eyes roved your body. “…station, that this is quite the spectacle. You small folk are all so easily entertained.”
You felt your face light on fire at his smug smile. Fucking elitist prick. His words made you seethe for some reason. It wasn’t like you haven’t been called worse, working in the food service industry had given you thick skin, but his remark was the reason you preferred to remain in the kitchens unseen. The nobles were all the same, ungrateful and spoiled.
You were about to open your mouth, perhaps for a clap back that would have cost you your head, when someone did you the favor of bringing out a roasted pig and setting it in front of the one-eyed Prince.
You huffed out a laugh as his cheek twitched at the sight which earned you another searing glare.
“Perhaps you are right. Enjoy the pig, my prince, as I know it reminds you of your first dragon. I cooked it myself.” You tried to keep your voice down but apparently Lucerys Velaryon had overheard and released a small laugh.
Perhaps that is what set off Aemond as he stood up quickly and slammed his hand onto the table. You watched as his face morphed from his twisted sneer to something calmer. More collected.
“Final tribute.” He said with a smile as he raised his cup.
You took this moment to step back as he paused. “To the health of my nephews: Jace, Luke, and Joffrey.”
Alicent nervously began picking at her nails as her son spoke and the two Velaryon boys eyed Aemond cautiously. “Each of them handsome, wise…” He paused again and seemed to be debating something that he decided to ignore. “Strong.”
“Aemond.” Alicent hissed, eyes nervously darting across the room.
“Come let us drain our cups to these three,” He gave a shit eating grin to Jace as Aegon waved his cup in the air laughing. “Strong boys.”
“I dare you to say that again.” Jace snapped, stomping towards his uncle.
“Why? ‘‘Twas only a compliment. Do you not think yourselves strong?” As Jace got closer you watched as he punched Aemond across the face which only caused the One-eyed Prince to laugh as he kept hold of his wine. At the same time you heard Aegon slam Lucerys’ head into the table as he tried to get up.
“Jace!” Rhaenyra shouted, standing up quickly. “That’s enough!”
With a scoff, Aemond shoved Jace away from him and swirled his drink with a bored expression. He pretended not to see the two guards holding back the Velaryons. “It seems I’m in need of more wine.” He gave you a cold smile as he sauntered over.
“Perhaps you’ve had enough.” Alicent said, rushing over to her younger son. “You may leave.” She waved you away dismissively and for the first time that night you had not been happier until Aemond grabbed your arm harshly.
“Nonsense we’ve barely started eating mother.” He shoved his cup towards you again and waved it expectantly. “Well?”
You gave a questioning look to the queen who instead of answering turned her son towards her and waved you away. “Why would you say such a thing before these people?”
You didn’t wait to hear anything else, and instead scurried towards the doors as quickly as you could. You knew you shouldn’t look back at the train wreck behind you but part of you couldn’t help it.
As you closed the heavy door behind you, you noticed one violet eye piercing into you, instead of listening to his mother. It was then that you knew that the Prince would not forget your words.
#fanfic#reader insert#dark aemond targaryen x reader#aemond fanfiction#dark aemond targaryen#aemond x you#aemond one eye#prince aemond#dark aemond x reader#hotd aemond#aemond targaryen#aemond smut#aemond x reader#hotd#house of the dragon
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I’ve been wanting to make this post for a bit. My friends have been dealing with housing insecurity and difficulty covering living expenses for them and their two dogs for a few months now, they are both immunocompromised, at high risk for Covid, and under a lot of stress daily. If you can donate to them either directly and/or through their fundraiser, and also share this post, it would be so greatly appreciated
heres the fundraiser link, and direct donations are also super helpful and needed
Cashapp: $LelandChazen
Venmo: artbydykes
(description from their fundraiser page explaining their situation below)
“Hi everyone! I’m Leland. My wife’s name is Eve and we have two sweet dogs named Rickie and Ralphy. We live in a travel trailer near Astoria, Oregon.
Eve and I are both immunocompromised and high risk for contracting Covid-19. This would likely prove fatal for me and cause Eve to have long lasting health effects.
Unfortunately, I lost my job working for Trans Lifeline as a Crisis Hotline Operator in December 2023. It was a remote job that I loved very much. The organization furloughed and fired direct service workers rather than the folks that are making six figures (who have let the organization down greatly.)
Hotline Operators are peer support workers who take calls from Trans folks in crisis—some are suicidal or are in the act of committing suicide. It’s a very hard job. Unfortunately, we are the most underpaid staff within the organization. It is nearly impossible to have a savings account when you’re trying to make sure your bills are paid and you have food on the table.
By firing the most important, yet vulnerable staff, Trans Lifeline knew they were putting Trans employees in dire situations.
I have to work remotely to keep myself safe. Since I was fired in December, I have been applying to jobs daily. It is incredibly hard to find remote work.
Since losing my job, Eve and I lost our housing, forcing us to live in a travel trailer which has been a very difficult situation. We have had flooding leading us to be without running water and a working toilet. On top of that, the trailer was incredibly moldy, which was a blow to both of our immune systems.
We cannot afford basic necessities, our vital medical prescriptions, doctors appointments, dog food, gas and masks.
We are now two months behind on our car payment and a month behind on our trailer payment.
To make matters worse, a few days ago our tire flew off of our truck. Luckily, we were unharmed, but we are without a safe, working vehicle that we rely on, as we live in the woods. Nothing is within walking distance.
The stress this has caused is severe. It has exacerbated my chronic illness symptoms and my mental health is suffering.
We are at risk of having both our car and home repossessed.
I am still waiting on unemployment. However, $1000/month does not cover our expenses. It doesn’t come close.
Please help us stay afloat for the next few months, as I desperately try to find a new job.
❤️,
Leland and Eve”
#i unfortunately live far away from them and also dont have income so i can only help a little bit#but they’ve been dealing with so much and can use any help anyone can give with covering their basic living expenses#long post#mutual aid
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have you ever got any cosmetic work done (surgical/non-surgical)? what is your beauty maintenance routine? what are some stuff that wealthier ppl know about that most don’t regarding beauty/skin/hair/hygiene/diet/fitness? sorry it’s so many questions. i love your blog so much btw I’ve learned a lot from you :)🩷
nope, never had surgery or anything too invasive. I really don’t need it haha, losing weight, fixing my skin and growing my hair out did wonders for me. I’ve had collagen pumped into my skin for some acne scars I had but that was a useless procedure, this is back when I was 18. I’ve done exilis and em sculpt which I’ve mentioned below, I’ve gotten laser done (useless), I had IVs for semaglutide (useless). I think that’s about it.
beauty maintenance routine:
wax every 1.5 months
thread and wax my face every Sunday
face masks 2x week
hair mask 1 x week
high frequency if I feel like my skin needs a push (I have a wand at home)
gel polish every month
minoxidil for hair growth
I FaceTime my dermat once a month or once in two months
things that wealthy people do that normally people don’t know about… the problem is that everything is public these days. Any Jane can get filler and collagen therapy now and in certain elitist families, there is a sense of disdain about that. Beauty is a competition, it’s a very hush hush business and most try to be as discreet as possible.
I’ve seen lots of nose jobs and chin jobs that these younger girls get done in their late teens or early 20s to improve their prospects for fame (very common in the entertainment families). But with legacy family businesses, among the older women, it will be one of two extremes- a horrible face lift and smudged make up or all natural face yoga and black magic that they swear by. Baby Botox is also huge with the younger wives but they never get it done in India, they always go to LA/ NYC / and absolute worst case Dubai. You really cannot afford to be 35 and botched. The reality is that with huge legacy families what you don’t have is time. Time for recovery I mean, because for those few months you cannot be seen publicly. For most families this is impossible- there are constant engagements, philanthropic activities (PR), weddings and parties to attend - so whatever they get done, they ensure that the down time is very very short. That’s also why most of them have consistent “natural” wellness routines like getting massages weekly. emsculpt and exilis are a big secret (I’ve done both). I’m writing a blog post about it in real time. Downtime is zero. A lot of women also get exilis done for their vaginas to make it tighter.
I have cousins who have MUAs on a retainer basis. Regardless of how big or small the event is, they ensure that they’re looking glam at all times if they’re going to be socialising. I personally think that’s insane and I’m very good at my beating my face so I never resorted to doing this for every occasion but yes this is common.
diet - I’ll be honest, most girls will very rarely touch food. If we’re going out for dinner we normally go for Japanese because it’s a little lighter. They smoke/ vape a lot which in turn suppresses appetite.
what I plan to get done soon:
acne scar treatment (I have very slight scarring only on one cheek because I sleep on my side)
hydrafacial
ultrasound for double chin (I don’t have a crazy double chin but I do want my face to be a little more snatched without fillers and Botox)
Things I know I will get done at some point:
PRP facials
micro needling
emsculpt again (like before my wedding whenever that happens)
Botox just in between my eyebrows because I frown when I’m listening
some treatment for my laugh lines at some point in my life
tbh the best beauty tip I can give you is start working out young. I’ve seen so many women not go back to their pre-baby weight, struggle with their health which inevitably fucks with your appearance, and try all sorts of stupid things when they could literally just start working out and watch their body transform in a few months.
also, don’t get fillers done impulsively. It looks ridiculous unless you have the right doc and 8/10 times you don’t. try to stick to your ethnicity as much as possible. As an Indian, the closest inspo for me is Middle Eastern because I have similar features (full brows, full lips and big eyes). But if I try getting Korean style plastic surgery I’m going to look daft.
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(Less Than) Noble Intentions: Chapter 16 - Snakes in the Garden
Fandom: TRR
Pairing: Drake Walker x F!OC (Harper Gale)
Series Summary: The social season may be over, but Harper Gale’s problems are just beginning. With everyone at court a potential suspect, can she and Drake survive the engagement tour and get to the bottom of the plot against her and clear her name? An AU take of TRR2 featuring my OTP - Harper & Drake.
Masterlist: (Less Than) Noble Intentions
Chapter Summary: Harper greets the world as the new Duchess of Valtoria, but that is not the only newsworthy item that rocks the Apple Harvest Festival...
Word Count: 7,300
Rating/Warnings: M (swearing, angst, possible ulterior motives)
Chapter theme song:
A/N1: Things are slowly coming to a head! Thanks for bearing with me on this series - I know I have a lot of other projects in the works, so I have not been updating as much as I probably should. But, we are finally getting to the exciting parts (as if what's happened until now hasn't been exciting 🤣) as after this chapter, we are into the meat of the engagement tour, and all the juicy plot changes that I have been wanting to write for over a year will finally come to a fore! *evil laugh*
A/N2: If you have not heard of TURN - the TV show from which I borrowed the chapter theme song - then, I can highly recommend it (especially if you like historical dramas, US history (specifically the Revolutionary War period), or just really good story-telling)!
A/N3: This is also much submission for @choicesjanuary2024 Day 12: Smiles / Secret
Chapter 16 - Snakes in the Garden
"Are you sure I look okay?" I ask, nervously pulling at the high-necked strip of emerald lace that circles my throat.
"Stop fiddling!" Bertrand berates, slapping my hand away. "We are running late as it, and we cannot afford to lose any more time to last minute touch-ups!"
"Yeah, but—"
"You look great, Harper," Maxwell assures me with a beaming smile. "Marcie did a great job."
The petite make-up artist that the Beaumonts had procured out of thin air bobs a curtsy to my right. "It was my pleasure, Your Grace."
Her words hit me like a whiplash.
Your Grace.
My new form of address. One I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to. Lady Harper had been one thing, but that had always felt like a curtesy. A temporary formality that had been extended to me by virtue of my sponsorship by the Beaumonts during the social season.
But there is nothing temporary about my current situation. The weight of the ring on my hand — and its implications — bears down heavily on my finger... and my thoughts. Especially since I still haven't found a moment alone with Drake to finish our conversation from this morning... or bring him up to speed on my new status.
Because no sooner had my ennoblement been sealed with the very expensive — and very potent — champagne, than the Beaumonts had shown back up (somewhat mercifully) to crash Christian's surprise party.
And from there it had been a whirlwind of hair, makeup and outfitting for the all-important Apple Harvest Festival where I am due to make my grand debut as the new Duchess of Valtoria.
A position of some importance — Bertrand has stressed, multiple times — given that in addition to the impressive estate that I am now the official caretaker of, I also have a seat on the infamous Council, as well as a seat on the even more exclusive Privy Council. Not to mention my own fleet of staff, vehicles, bank accounts, and carefully curated online profiles.
Which is why — on top of everything — the ever-industrious press corps have worked at record speed to throw the fruits of yesterday's labours together into an exclusive, twelve-page spread as part of a special edition of Trend magazine, which dropped this morning.
And while I haven't actually had a chance to read through the copy that currently sits on the coffee table of my room (together with every other major national and international news publication), Maxwell has assured me that the social media reactions have — so far — been positive. The snaps of my stress-fuelled efforts at yesterday's apple pick have apparently helped.
Which means that Jonathan's PR gamble is starting to pay dividends, and I now have a public image to maintain. Not just for myself, but for Cordonia as well. Because when I step outside today, I'll be representing everything that the kingdom under Christian's burgeoning rule is striving to be — beauty, modernity, opportunity.
Definitely not the best day to wake up with a litany of awkwardly situated bruises!
Thankfully, both Maxwell and Bertrand seem to have had a chance to pull themselves together after this morning's surprising (and definitely explosive!) turn of events, and — after the initial shock — have set about covering for mine and Drake's mess with the same coordinated precision that they employed to pull the Beaumont Bash out of their butts.
With the result that they somehow managed to transform me from the black and blue disaster I woke up as, into the picture of a polished and refined lady.
I glance apprehensively out at the bright sunshine blanketing the hills. Hopefully, the carefully applied window-dressing survives the literal trial by fire it's about to be subjected to. Because just like yesterday, the temperature is set to climb into the mid-90's today as well, which means I'll most likely end up sweating buckets again, thanks to the Edwardian nature of my dress's neckline.
And what I definitely don't need today is for all the blush and cover-up getting smudged away so that everyone at the event can start speculating about the intimate placement of my of hickeys!
I close my eyes wearily. God, I can't wait for all this to be over...
"No catnaps!" snaps Bertrand, slapping a wide-brimmed hat onto my head. "The people are waiting on us!"
I barely have time to grab my matching clutch before the Beaumonts are whisking me out of my room and down the length of the corridor towards the manor's lawn.
"Surely the Festival can start without us...!" I gasp as I stumble after Bertrand in my heels.
"No, it cannot," he reprimands. "All members of the Council must be present for the ceremonial tree planting."
I frown. "Tree planting? Isn't that a little... agrarian for the aristos?"
"It is a time-honoured tradition!" corrects Bertrand. "Cordonia owes its existence and livelihood to the noble Ruby, so it is the duty of the Council to ensure that the fruits of our bounty are secured for future generations! Hence, the requirement to plant new saplings at the end of each harvest!"
"If you say so..." I concede as we pass through the back doors of the manor.
Based on what I saw at the apple pick, Bertrand's pronouncement seems optimistic at best, given that none of the aristos even bothered to lift a finger to a tree yesterday.
But, looks can always be deceiving, so maybe today is the day that the I am pleasantly surprised for once.
A deafening cheer erupts as the Beaumonts and I step out onto the manor's steps.
Snapping my head towards the source of the commotion, I see what appears to be thousands of people crammed behind velvet-lined cordons, screaming and jostling for position like they're in the front row of a Taylor Swift concert...
...and it takes me a second to realise that it's my name that they're shouting.
"Duchess!"
"Lady Harper, we love you!"
"You're the true Apple Queen, no matter what anyone says!"
"Wow..." I blink, taken aback by the fervency of the crowd's reaction. "I didn't realise I had such a rabid following..."
"Best wave to them," suggests Maxwell, leaning in as he raises his arm into the air with a wide smile.
"Okay..." I concede hesitantly, turning to the crowd to do the same.
The last time I experienced anything remotely like this had been on the red carpet at the Derby — my first public outing as a suitor. But even the bright flash of the cameras and the intrusive questions that the reporters had flung at me paled in comparison to the reaction I am receiving today.
Phones and cameras are thrust into the air as the Beaumonts and I descend the manor's stairs to the accompaniment of the increasingly frenzied cheers and shouts of encouragement. Even a few bouquets of flowers fly through the air, narrowly missing my hat.
And I can't help but smile in the face of the genuine outpouring of support from the crowd. Because it sure as heck feels good to be on top for once!
However, arriving at the edge of the orchard where the tree planting ceremony is due to take place, I am greeted by a very different type of welcome.
Snooty expressions drip down the ends of aristocratic noses as the members of the Council pass silent judgment on my somewhat bombastic entrance.
"They're just jealous," Maxwell whispers to me as we take up our spots at the edge of the gathering.
"Yeah..." I agree with a stilted voice. "That's what I'm worried about."
I know firsthand of the lengths that these people are willing to go to in order to exact vengeance for perceived slights. And I did not particularly feel like painting a target on my back a second time while I am still trying to recover from the hurt caused by the first.
Maybe this is a mistake...
But I don't have time to think on it long, because the public erupts into an even more deafening outburst as Christian appears with Madeleine on his arm.
"Look at her..." snips a voice from behind me. "Acting like she's Queen already."
I whip around in disbelief. "Olivia!"
The Duchess of Lythikos cuts her green eyes over at me with a derisive look. "Oh, don't look so surprised, Harper. Just because you are now a duchess, does not mean that the rest of us have taken early retirement."
"Trust me," I grumble under my breath, "this was not the plan."
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized," she replies sagely.
I quirk a brow at her. "Meaning?"
"Meaning," she expounds surly, "opportunity breeds opportunity. And only by exploiting every advantage will you uncover previously hidden gains. Do they not teach The Art of War inyour schools?"
"No..."
She scoffs under her breath. "Explains a lot."
I roll my eyes at her as Christian and Madeleine pause on the steps for photos and a couple of quick sound bites. "I guess this means your sabbatical was productive?"
"Exceedingly."
I heave a breath. "At least one of us is making progress..."
"Oh, don't sell yourself short," she counters out of the corner of her mouth. "Your recent advancements have served as a welcome distraction..."
"Not sure if that’s a compliment, or not..." I admit sourly.
"You have more power than you realise," she insists quietly. "Make sure you use it."
"Wow..." I mutter, glancing over at her in genuine surprise. "Friendly advice from the Scarlet Duchess? What else have you learnt during your time away?"
"Our interests are temporarily aligned, nothing more," she replies, shooting daggers across the lawn towards Madeleine. "And I'll fill you in shortly."
"Well, it's good to have you back, regardless," I say with a dip of my head. "Your Grace."
Olivia shoots me a sidelong look. "Don't get sentimental on me, Duchess."
But I can see the hint of a smile pulling at her lips.
Christian and Madeleine arrive at the edge of the trees. Stepping up to the row of waiting saplings, Christian pulls a stack of notecards out of his pocket and delivers a short speech to the click of the cameras.
As the mandatory applause dies down, he slots the pieces of paper carefully away... and pulls off his jacket.
"What are you doing?" hisses Madeleine as the crowd descends into a hubbub of excited reactions.
"Taking a leaf out of the Duchess of Valtoria's book," he replies, handing his jacket off to the closest shocked Councillor as he sets about rolling up his sleeves.
"Out of—!" Madeleine bristles in indignation, while trying to maintain an outwardly calm composure. "The only thing you have taken is leave of your senses! Now get back here and—!"
Ignoring his fiancée's outburst, Christian grabs the ribbon-bedecked shovel out of the hands of the footman that was holding it, and steps up to a clear patch of grass. Adjusting his grip on the handle, he digs the metal blade decisively into the ground to the accompanying slew of clicking camera shutters.
"Shall we?" asks Olivia with a sly smirk as she pushes her way to the front of the line of gawping nobles.
"Let's," I agree, instantly catching onto her plan.
"Lady Harper!" hisses Bertrand from behind me. "What do you think you're—?"
"Lending a hand to the King," I throw back over my shoulder as I step to the front of the row of aristos who are looking mutely onto the sight of their monarch working up an actual sweat before them.
Grabbing another shovel from the pile in the corner — these ones obviously having seen some honest work already, judging by the dirt encrusted on their faces — I join the King of Cordonia in enlarging the hole in the ground.
Because regardless of Christian's underlying motives for ennobling me, and whatever his broader game may be, what he is doing right now is bigger than me, bigger than him, bigger than any of us. And that deserves recognition. Especially when he is taking such active — and public — strides towards being the change he wants to see unfurl during his rule. Where the ruling class doesn't just offer empty platitudes and hollow ceremony, but actually practices what it preaches. So, what better way to do that, than by planting the seeds of change in front of thousands of people in the literal heart of the kingdom?
Christian rewards my arrival with a nod and a smile as I take up position next to him.
Hefting my shovel, I slice it into the earth that he's already uncovered, using the somewhat flimsy sole of my heeled sandals to drive it deeper.
Scooping the blade back out, I suddenly feel a presence to my left. Looking up, I see that Maxwell has also joined our impromptu work crew.
Throwing me a wink, he drops his shovel in next to mine.
With the three of us working on tandem, it takes us almost no time at all to dig out a hole large enough to house the new apple tree.
Wiping the sweat from my forehead — the weatherman had not lied, that's for sure! — I see that Olivia, with some assistance from Hana, has already prepared the sapling by shunting it closer to the hole and removing the burlap covering from its roots.
Laying down our shovels, we help her manoeuvre the tree to the edge of the dint. Cheers and applause rise up from the onlookers as the sapling thuds into the earth. Olivia uses one of the knives from her hidden arsenal to slice off the twines holding the branches together, and the tree unfurls itself with a satisfied snap.
"Your Majesty!" shouts a reporter, who I recognise as Frederick Capone. "One for the Cordonian Times, if you please!"
"And for the CBS!" adds Donald Brine, muscling his way to the front.
"Certainly," accedes Christian graciously, holding his arm out. "It was a group effort, after all."
We all gather in — sweaty and dirty, but smiling — as the press corps immortalises the scene...
...and I innocuously sweep my hair over my shoulder in a vain effort to try and hide any bruises that may have become uncovered as a result of the unplanned exertion.
"Thank you for joining me in my moment of impulsivity," Christian acknowledges softly as the bulbs flash.
"Please," scoffs Olivia out of the side of her mouth. "It was coordinated from the start."
"The people don't seem to mind," counters Hana with a demure smile as she faces the cameras.
"With the exception of about half-dozen," I note, glancing back at the disgruntled looks of the Councillors from behind us, as they try to save face by applauding our efforts together with the rest of the crowd.
"They'll fall in line." Christian assures me as he lifts his hand with a wave.
I feel a prick between my shoulder blades. Turning my head, I catch sight of the cold fire radiating out of Madeleine's gaze from behind the mask of her perfect smile.
"Maybe not everyone..." I mutter under my breath as I turn back towards the paps.
I'm already on Madeleine's shit list for daring to return to court after my very public humiliation and banishment. On the night of her engagement tour launch party, no less! So, the fact that I ended up upstaging her — again — probably means that I've sunk even further down the ladder of her estimations.
To what end, I have no idea. But I'm going to have to start being more careful from here on out.
Once the press are finally placated, we disperse across the lawn in search of some much-needed refreshments.
"Harper!"
I swallow a groan as I'm brought up short, mere steps from the freshly squeezed, rosemary-infused lemonade that I desperately need after toiling away in this heat. "What now, Bertrand...?"
"I... uhm..." He clears his throat as I turn to face him. "I wanted to apologise for my earlier outburst. It was unseemly... and in retrospect, short-sighted."
"What do you mean?" I ask with a frown. Bertrand very rarely — if ever! — apologised.
"The public reaction to the tree planting has been overwhelming," he clarifies, pulling his phone out.
My eyes bulge as I take in the view count on the screen. "A hundred thousand views already!"
"And counting," Bertrand adds. "And that is only one website."
"And look at the comments!" I exclaim, scrolling through the feed. "They're loving Maxwell as well!"
"Yes, it appears that my brother has a keener instinct for media relations than I do..."
"You should tell him that," I say. "It would mean the world to him."
Bertrand looks momentarily taken aback. "I... Well..." He clears his throat again. "Yes. Maybe I will. He deserves some recognition for his efforts in diverting — at least temporarily — the negative attention away from our financial predicaments."
"A simple hug and a 'thank-you' will do," I tell him with a knowing look.
Bertrand reels back in abject horror. "I will not subject my brother to such a sordid display of affection! Especially in public!"
I heave a sigh. "And there's your problem, right th—"
I trail off as I spot a familiar figure signalling to me from over Bertrand's shoulders.
"Excuse me," I say, palming Bertrand's phone back to him as I move towards one of the marquees that had been set up at the edge of the lawn.
Slipping inside the flap of the tent, I come face-to-face with Ana de Luca.
"Your Grace," she nods, dipping into a curtesy, something she hasn't deigned to do before. "Thank you for making the time."
"Ana," I nod in return, wondering why the influential editor of Trend chose to pull me away for a private meeting. Especially after I cornered her so forcefully at Madeleine's garden party a few days ago.
"I suppose congratulations are in order," she continues, straightening back up. "Since returning to court you have managed to elevate yourself not just in rank, but in the eyes of the public as well. Rolling your sleeves up in tandem with the King was a masterful piece of image enhancement."
"I didn't do it for myself," I reply evenly.
"Of course," she nods quickly. "We must all step in line with our new King. But your reputation is certainly reaping the benefits as well."
"As is your bottom line," I point out.
"Your initiative is markedly boosting sales of this month's special edition, as well as traffic to our website," she concedes. "For which Trend is very grateful. But that is not the reason I pulled you aside."
"What is it then?"
"I found out the name of the photographer," she replies, reaching into her handbag.
I feel my heart jump in my chest. "You're joking..."
She raises a brow at me from behind the lenses of her black-out Versace shades as she pulls a small flash-drive out. "I can assure you that I am not."
I quickly pull myself back together. "No. Of course not..."
Handing the drive over, she adds. "On there you will find all the pertinent information I was able to obtain through my own means."
"Thank you," I say sincerely, taking the piece of plastic from her. "I honestly was not expecting this..."
She shrugs an elegant shoulder. "I said I would look into it, so I did. It is not much, but I am sure you have people who can hopefully take it further."
"I do," I affirm, slotting the device into my clutch.
"After all," she adds with a knowing quirk to her lips. "You are not the only one with a vested interest in seeing your name cleared, Your Grace."
With another quick bob, she exits the marquee.
I let out a low exhale as the tent flap drops back into place in her wake. "Thank God..."
Some much-needed progress at last!
Hopefully, Drake can take the information from the drive and do a deep dive into the photographer to see if they ever crossed paths with whoever it is that has it in for me.
Which reminds me...
Opening my clutch up again, I pull my phone out and type up a quick message to my elusive boyfriend.
I haven't seen or heard from him since the event started. And now I have two pieces of critical information I need to share with him. So, rather than chasing after him like some damsel in distress, I'm going to make him come to me for a change. Because time is of the essence, and I don't want to wait.
Hitting send, I exit the tent and head back towards the orchard. I figure that since everyone is on the lawn, the secluded garden hidden amongst the trees will give me and Drake the best chance to meet in private, away from the prying eyes of the court and the press.
Slipping between the tree trunks, I try to make my way as casually as possible through the orchard, as if I am simply out for a walk, in order to ward off potential suspicion. But, as I drift further away from the Festival, I start to pick up the pace, mindful of the short timeframe I gave Drake... as well as the exposed roots on the ground.
Because as much as I might want to hurry, I definitely don't want — or need — a twisted ankle the day before we're due to start the international leg of the trip. As Mom was right — I should take advantage of the upcoming whirlwind tour of Europe to at least try and get some sightseeing in. As who knows when I'll get the chance to do this again...
...especially if I'm forced to become a hermit because we fail to expose the mastermind behind the press scandal.
I shake my head. No. I need to stay positive. It's the only way I'm going to get through—
"Competing with a herd of elephants, Gale?"
I snap my gaze up at the sound of Drake's voice... and nearly trip over a hidden apple lodged in the grass.
"You try sneaking ‘round in four-inch heels," I grumble back at him, while using the trunk of a nearby tree to steady myself.
He mutters something under his breath as he steps over to me with an outstretched hand. "Here."
Grabbing his hand, I navigate gingerly away from the tree, only to find that the slightly rotten fruit has become impaled on the end of my stiletto.
"Great..." I groan, trying to flick the stupid thing off... But it stays stubbornly stuck.
"You're a walking disaster, y'know that, right?" drawls Drake as he drops down in front of me.
"Ha-ha, funny," I snark back at him while trying to balance on one foot on the uneven ground.
He meets my eye with a wry look as he finally manages to pull the offending fruit off with a squelch. "You're only gripin' 'cause it's true."
"Yeah, well, not all of us have... reflexes... like Neo..." I reply sardonically as I save myself from tipping over by grabbing onto Drake's shoulder.
He stifles a scoff as he tosses the apple into the trees. "You good?"
"Yeah," I confirm, righting myself again and letting go of his shirt.
Drake regards me critically for a long moment — as if expecting me to keel over again at the drop of a hat — before pushing himself up.
"Thanks," I say, laying an appreciative hand on his arm.
The humour fades from his gaze at the contact.
"Drake..." I start...
...but he's already pulled away.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asks, not quite meeting my eyes as he slots his hands into his pockets, the momentary lightness of our previous interaction gone.
I heave a breath.
We really need to talk about what happened this morning. But his suddenly standoffish demeanour makes it clear that he's not quite ready for that yet.
So, I decide to start with something less contentious.
"We have a lead on the photographer," I tell him, reaching into my clutch.
His head perks up with interest. "That was fast."
"Teamwork makes the dream work," I agree with a smile, pulling the flash drive back out and holding it out to him.
His posture suddenly stiffens. "The hell is that?"
I glance around me uncertainly. "What?"
"The fucking ring on your finger," he declares dispassionately, his accusatory gaze scorching into my outstretched hand.
My heart drops. Oh, no...
This is not how I wanted to break it to him. But unfortunately for both of us, the cat has now ripped itself out of the proverbial bag, so I'm just going to have to scamper after it.
Taking a steadying inhale, I look him square in the eye. "It's my new signet ring." I turn my hand over to show it to him.
His face darkens. "Fils de pute de—" he grits under his breath, snapping a hand out to grab my wrist.
My eyes widen. "Drake, what are y—?"
A storm is raging in his espresso gaze. "Signet rings go on the little finger. On the right hand."
"Oh," is all I can manage as he swipes the golden band off my left ring finger.
"You didn't know, did you?" he asks softly, reaching for my other hand... more gently this time.
I shake my head with a constricted throat. "No, I—"
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
My head jerks ‘round at the sound of the unexpected voice. "Christian!"
"I see you couldn't resist a somewhat impulsive stroll through the orchards, either?" he asks, more rhetorically than anything else. "The scent of apples is truly luscious this time of year."
"Erm... yes...!" I manage to squeak out, shoving my right hand behind my back. "Smells like apple juice!"
Christian's brow quivers ever so slightly at my slightly random — and obviously unexpected — comparison.
But I'm too busy coordinating with Drake to get the signet ring shoved back onto my hand while trying to palm the flash drive off to him without dropping either in the process. As both outcomes would lead to some very awkward conversations!
I feel the warmth of the metal slide onto the index finger of my hand (Drake had probably ascertained that the circumference of the band was too large for my pinky), and I'm finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.
Embarrassing backpedaling, narrowly averted!
Drake uses the opportunity to extract the flash drive from my hand as well, dropping the device casually into his pocket as he moves beside me. "She ain't wrong."
"No," concedes Christian, eying the two of us for a second longer than strictly comfortable. "She rarely is."
"So, umm... Are you hiding from the paps as well?" I ask in a bid to diffuse the growing tension in the air.
"No, I came looking for you, actually," he corrects, taking a step forward. "I saw you slip into the orchard, and thought it prudent to follow you."
"Oh?" I say, feeling my stomach tighten again. "Worried I might get lost?"
"I was hoping to catch you alone," he corrects, coming to a stop in front of me.
I swallow tightly as I see him glance over at Drake.
Please don't fight... Please don't fight...
Christian's gaze reverts to me. "But I suppose it is convenient for Drake to happen to be here as well."
My heart skips an uncomfortable beat. "It is?"
"Yes," he affirms. "I have received some news that you'll both be interested in hearing."
"Well, don't keep us in damn suspense, then..." mutters Drake with a noticeable edge to his voice.
I try to reach discretely out to brush my fingers against his, to reassure him that come what may, we'll get through it together, that—
"We found Tariq."
Christian's words hit me like a kick to the chest. The breath explodes out of me so forcefully that I am actually forced to take a step back in a bid to maintain my balance as the apple trees descend into a spin around me.
No way...
"Where?"
Drake's voice floats across the edge of my awareness. And even in my spaced-out state, I can feel the weight of the cold, calculated fury infused into that single word.
No corner... No mercy.
"Dubai," replies Christian, who also sounds like he's miles away. "He—"
But Drake's already spun away. "Send me the coordinates."
"Harper?"
I blink up at Christian in a daze. "Huh?"
"Are you alright?" he asks, laying a concerned hand on my cheek. "You... You looked as if you were about to faint..."
"I..." I swallow past the sudden dryness in my throat. "I'm okay."
"Are you certain?" he presses, peering down at me. "I could ring for a doctor, and—"
"No," I insist, pulling away from him. "I'm fine. I... I guess I just got caught off-guard..."
"It is an unexpected development, certainly," he concedes. "But hopefully still a welcome one?"
"Yes!" I blurt out. "Of course! I want to clear my name more than anyone, and Tariq is key to that! I just..." My voice trails uncertainly off.
Christian flashes me a knowing half-smile. "Feel some trepidation about the prospect...?"
"I guess so," I concede, my fingers moving unconsciously to the horseshoe charm at my wrist.
Because as much as I may want Tariq to pay for what he did from a rational point of view, from an emotional standpoint, I’m terrified.
As even though I know in the back of my mind that a lot of my trepidation has to do with the fact that I am still trying to recover from the psychological trauma that Tariq inflicted on me, a major part of me is also scared of what setting the record straight would entail in practice.
Christian had mentioned that there were 'methods of persuasion' that could be used to force a confession from Tariq. But then what? Would I be made to very publicly relive the entire horrible episode in the form of TV spots and interviews, or would we be able to get by with one official press release? And given my spotty history with the press, will people actually believe my side of the story...?
I mean, Meghan and Harry didn’t exactly fare well in the court of public opinion when they tried to counter the official royal narrative...
On top of all that, in light of my very visceral reactions to returning to Applewood, I have no idea how I'm going to react to seeing Tariq in person again. Would I burst into tears? Have a nervous breakdown? Dissolve into a panic attack? Stab him in the gut and then the nuts?
And (possibly worst of all) what if we discover that Tariq had been acting alone? And his attack on me — while traumatising — is in no way connected to the larger, and definitely more dangerous plot to remove me from the running for Queen? What then...?
"Your qualms are not as misplaced as you may initially think," Christian consoles. "It is a daunting prospect to face the person who actively sought to harm you."
Something in his tone catches my attention. "What do you mean?"
Christian heaves a sigh. "I do not know if you are aware of this, but several years ago, I was the target of an assassination attempt."
I nod tightly. "Yes. Drake told me."
"Then I presume he also told you how deeply the experience affected me," he says, catching my eye with an uncharacteristically guarded look.
"Yes," I affirm, thinking back to the conversation in Olivia's wine cellar that felt like years ago.
"What he probably didn't tell you, however," he continues, "is that I visited the perpetrator in prison."
My jaw drops. "You what!"
"Not publicly and certainly not in any official capacity." He shakes his head wryly. "I did not even talk to the man."
"Then why...?"
"I... I was having trouble reconciling with what had happened," he explains. "And moving past it. The trauma councillor that I was working with suggested that it was perhaps because I was subconsciously endowing the gunman with too much power, and thereby transmuting the man into something more akin to an evil monster."
A shiver runs down my spine at Christian's words. It's like he's talking about Tariq...
"So, to help break the negative emotional associations I had built up, my councillor arranged a clandestine meeting where I would have the opportunity to face the man."
"How... How did that go?" I ask nervously.
"I was terrified, of course," Christian admits. "I had no idea what to expect and each scenario I imagined in my head was worse than the last. But, when I finally got into room where the meeting was to take place, I was surprised by what I saw. As rather than some hulking, shadowy fiend, it was a pale, somewhat diminutive man sat across from me."
"So… what did you do?"
"We simply sat at a table and stared at each other," he recounts. "He with more than a bit of contemptuous malice, I have to admit, but in that moment, I realised that he was a flesh-and-blood person who had fallen prey to the same misguided emotions as I — anger, fear, resentment — just manifested differently. And that helped set me onto the path of true healing. As ultimately, I was able to forgive him."
"Forgive him?" I gasp disbelievingly. "For trying to murder you?"
"Nobody acts in isolation," Christian advises calmly. "Even the most unconscionable horrors perpetrated by the villains of humanity — torture, mass murder, genocide — sprout from the basis of an emotional or psychological motivator such as love, fear, greed, jealousy... to name but a few. So, while we may disagree with and condemn the action retrospectively from the safety of the moral high-ground, it is very possible that had we found ourselves in a similar situation, we would end up being just as guilty as the person we are looking to condemn."
"So, what?" I demand testily. "I should feel sorry for Tariq for what he did to me?"
"Showing empathy and compassion towards our counterparts does not mean forgetting or excusing the harm suffered," counsels Christian. "But it will certainly allow you to start on the path of true healing."
I shake my head as I turn away. "I'm not sure Tariq deserves that..."
"It is by no means an easy assignment," he admits, laying a hand on my shoulder. "But even if you cannot find it in your heart presently to forgive him, do at least try to keep yourself open to the possibility down the line. You may be surprised by the results."
Looking up, I can see that there is sincerity welling on his emerald gaze. And — for once — I don't doubt the true intent of his words. "Thanks. I'll think about it."
"As diplomatic as ever," he smiles, the tips of his fingers brushing down my back as he drops his hand. "And, regardless of what you choose to do, I'll be right by your side to support you."
"Thanks," I mutter with what I hope is a genuine smile, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that with Drake’s abrupt departure, it’s just me and Christian amongst the trees. Taking a step back towards the way I’d come, I ask, "So, umm... How did you end up finding him?"
"Instagram," replies Christian with a wry chuckle as he falls into step beside me.
My head snaps up in bewilderment. "He posted his whereabouts?"
"No," he laughs, looping my arm through his in reassurance. "Not intentionally, at any rate. He took shelter on his cousin's yacht docked off the coast of the Palm Jumeirah, and—"
"What's that?" I ask with a frown.
"One of a trio of artificially constructed archipelagos located off the coast of Dubai," he explains. "They are so called for their shape, which resemble stylised palm trees."
"Sounds... fancy," I admit, while trying to maintain some semblance of platonic distance between the two of us.
"They really are a sight to behold," he affirms, pulling me back to his side. "But it is part of the reason why we were not able to locate him initially — we knew he has family in the Emirates, of course, but—"
"He does?" I interject in surprise. This is certainly news to me...!
"Yes," he nods. "His father is a Cordonian nobleman, but his mother hails from the House of Al Falasi, the branch of the Bani Yas tribe that also produced Dubai's ruling family."
My eyes widen. "So, his mom is royalty?"
"No," chuckles Christian. "She is not directly connected to the Al Maktoum dynasty. But her family is nevertheless influential in the region. Which is why when we hit a roadblock with the French authorities, we decided to focus our efforts on countries where we knew he had familial or business connections. The Emirates, however, boast a multitude of private airfields, not to mention water-based ports of entry, so attempting to narrow down Tariq’s possible time and method of arrival and determining where he went from there was providing to be a complex undertaking. Especially since we had to ensure to conduct our enquiries outside of the official channels."
"Specifically, via social media," I supply dryly.
"Yes," confirms Christian, only half jokingly. "When we realised that Tariq must have switched off or changed out his phone, Drake suggested that we set up a facial recognition-based search algorithm that could scour the various social media and news portals in a bid to help us pinpoint his exact location."
"That sounds... technical," I admit.
"A few years ago, it would have been, But the technology is relatively commonplace now, thankfully."
"So, you managed to get a hit?"
"Yes," he affirms. "One of his cousins on his mother's side posted a selfie featuring his new yacht a couple of days ago... and someone who partially matched Tariq's features was visible on the edge of the frame. But it wasn't until this morning that our man on the ground was able to obtain independent confirmation that it really was him."
"Wow..." I manage. "Talk about blind, dumb luck."
"Never underestimate the awesome power of serendipity," counsels Christian with a smile as we reach the edge of the trees again. "It certainly played a hand in crossing our paths."
I swallow nervously. "Yeah, I—"
"You have some nerve!"
Before I have a chance to realise what is happening, Madeleine has swooped in from seemingly out of nowhere to intercept us with all the wrathful precision of a homing missile.
"Ow!" I hiss, feeling the ends of her manicured nails sink into my arm as she wrenches me off Christian like I'm some kind of plague.
"One would think you would be grateful to His Majesty for his benevolent generosity in elevating your previously non-existent status to that of a duchess," she spits with barely disguised contempt as she pulls me nose-to-nose with her.
"Get off me!" I grit, trying to shake her loose.
"Madeleine..." interjects Christian from behind me in a voice that I only heard him use once before... in the hallway at Ramsford when he realised that Drake had brought me back to Cordonia. "You overstep."
But the Countess of Fydelia seems to hear neither of us as she tightens her claw-like hold on me. "Yet instead, you repay him by not only by hijacking a royal event to serve your own shameless self-aggrandisement—"
I shake my head in disbelief. "Wait... Wh—?"
"—but then you have the unmitigated gall—"
"Madeleine," says Christian again, more forcefully this time. "That is enough."
But Madeleine is oblivious to the quiet threat suffused into the sound of her name, choosing to continue her tirade instead, "—to sneak off into the bushes with my fiancé in order to do God-knows-what when he should be—"
"I said, enough!" snaps Christian, coming suddenly between Madeleine and me with a face of thunder.
The force of his command is loud enough to cause a few heads on the edge of the lawn to turn curiously towards us.
Even Madeleine startles somewhat in response to the uncharacteristically vehement order. But not enough to let go of me.
"Can you not see what she is doing?" she demands indignantly as she turns to face Christian. "Or does she have you wrapped so tightly around her finger that you cannot even—?"
"How I choose to spend my time with the Duchess of Valtoria in private is of no concern to you, Countess," interjects Christian bluntly. "Or do I need to remind you of the conditions of our engagement?"
Madeleine's alabaster cheeks flush scarlet. "No..."
"Then I strongly suggest that you unhand Lady Harper, and ensure that this kind of juvenile outburst does not happen again."
Madeleine's eyes blaze with cold fury. But she relinquishes her hold on me, nevertheless. "My apologies, Duchess..." she snips, her voice dripping with insincerity.
I reach up to rub the spot where her nails had been on the verge of puncturing my skin.
Bitch...
Christian nods tersely in approval. "Now that that is sorted, I believe our guests are waiting. Lady Madeleine, if you'd be so kind..."
Madeleine takes his arm with a look that could've killed. "Of course, Your Majesty."
"Lady Harper," acknowledges Christian with a dip of his head as he starts to steer his seething fiancée away.
Knowing that all eyes are still on us, I drop into a quick curtesy as they walk past, on one hand grateful to Christian for shutting Madeleine down, but on the other hand wondering how badly we kicked into a nest of hornets in the process.
As it is clear that Madeleine is still raging with jealous insecurity... Perhaps even more so than she had been back at her manor when she cornered me in the bathroom. And the fact that — despite the massive diamond on her finger — I now technically outrank her is definitely not helping the situation!
So much for making allies at court…
Blowing a wayward strand of hair out of my face, I turn back towards the festivities…
…only to be greeted by a wall of judgemental eyes, and more than a few camera lenses.
"Great..." I mutter under my breath.
Whether catching me with Christian had been the genuine straw that snapped Madeleine's cool, or whether she deliberately fabricated the showdown to undermine the positive reactions I got from the press earlier, the end result is the same...
I'm going to be on the front page tomorrow. Again.
Exactly in what form, I have no idea. But I've been at court long enough now to know that the whole thing will be blown completely out of proportion, and the resulting story will generate even more press frenzy.
But if there’s one thing that Drake has taught me, it’s that I cannot allow myself to give the aristos the satisfaction of ever thinking that they’ve managed to squash me into the dirt. Because that would undermine the entire reason why I came back to court in the first place, and given how close we now are to claiming back the truth, it would be a massive and premature admission of defeat.
So, raising my chin defiantly, I make my way back across the lawn to rejoin the remainder of the Festival.
The story continues in Chapter 17 - News Flash
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