#And then five kids that NEITHER of them knew existed

[shu-box-puns]

I don’t know if you’ve ever played/seen the game Frontiers of Pandora, but can I just say I love the idea of Tsu’tey and Reader taking in the little Sarentu kids? Or at least Teylan if not all of them, considering he was the youngest of them when they were all taken and has no memory of his family before the RDA. Spider would be such a good brother to him, familiar enough with human stuff and physically being human himself to make Teylan feel comfortable, he’d be good at easing him into Navi culture along with Tsu’tey.

I am definitely planning to play Frontiers of Pandora the minute I can get my hands on it, but I do know a little bit of what goes on just because I'm a sucker at keeping myself spoiler free.

And from what I do know, I would definitely agree that the little Sarentu children would have a loving home amongst the Omaticayan clan. I can just see Tsu'tey setting eyes on them for the first time and immediately being like, "you're too small to be on your own out here." He does a little glance round and is like, "who managed to lose five children at once?" And of course he makes eye contact with his mate and immediately sees his own plan reflecting back at him in their expression. Whereas Spider looks intrigued by the little ones, and Tsu'tey already knows he's good with younger kids since he's so patient with Jake's little ankle biters.

SO, of course the solution is simple. Finders keepers.

Tsu'tey: "oh well, we all have two hands to spare, and surely five Na'vi children can't be more work than Spider was all on his own."

He takes two kids in hand. His mate takes two kids in hand. And because you mentioned him, I'm going to get Spider to help guide little Teylan out.

(Mo'at would be over the moon to have even MORE grandkids to love and spoil.)

Of course, I don't know a lot about the game, so if anyone has any ideas or wants to add to this little scenario, please feel free too! The more kids Tsu'tey ends up having to look after, the better I say :D

[ambernotember]

a stupid mistake

I am going to blame @alchemistc and specifically this post for this. oh, and angst week. also on ao3

Tommy woke up to an empty bed. Normal. He stretched his arms out and was surprised to discover residual warmth on the other pillow. He pushed himself up to look at the other side of the bed. Pillow — indented. Sheets — in disarray. Fuck. It hadn’t been a dream.

Tommy was five shots deep already, on top of the beers he’d started with. He’d barely been at the bar for two hours. He was in his forties, for christssakes, drinking like a college kid away from home for the first time. He’d come to the bar in hopes of a distraction, maybe see some of his trivia buddies, but not wanting to appear so desperate for company that he’d actually texted anyone to see if they were planning to be there. He’d sat down at the bar to have a beer or two, chitchat with the bartenders he knew, spend a few hours out of the house. He’d nursed a beer for the first forty five minutes, and then they’d walked in.

Evan. And Ravi. They’d met a few times while Tommy had been dating Evan.

And now they were here, together. Evan, his arm around Ravi’s shoulders when they’d walked in. Evan, buying their drinks. Evan, leaning in close across the table to talk to Ravi, eyes glimmering, a smile on his face.

Tommy couldn’t get to the door without heading in their direction — neither of them had noticed him, seated in the back corner on the other side of the bar, the shelves of glasses and liquor bottles in the middle of the u-shaped bar hiding him from their view.

So. Another beer. And another. And another. God, couldn’t Evan just get up and go to the bathroom or something? Ravi was facing the wrong way to notice him, Tommy was sure he could sneak by.

So. Shots.

Lee, his favourite bartender, gave him a look when he ordered shots four and five.

“You didn’t drive here, did you? Do I need to confiscate your keys?”

Tommy shook his head. “Ubered. Worked too many wrecks to ever consider it.”

Lee poured him the shots. “Can I ask what brought on the heavy drinking?”

Tommy laughed humourlessly. “My ex is here. With someone else.”

“Yikes,” Lee hissed through their teeth. Lee poured him a sixth shot, then poured themself one and clinked glasses with Tommy. This was why Lee was his favourite. Understanding, and only judgmental about drunk driving. They drank their shots together. “Why aren’t you just leaving then? Not that the till minds your contribution.”

“Can’t get to the door without passing them.”

“Well shit,” Lee said, scooping up Tommy’s empties and depositing them in the sink. “Want me to get them thrown out?”

Tommy chuckled, small but genuine. “No, but thanks for the offer.”

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Lee said, heading down the bar to take care of another customer. Tommy sipped his next shot, knowing it was just delaying the inevitable.

He finished shot five — six, technically, after the one Lee had shared with him — and was contemplating going back to beer. Nicer to his wallet, possibly his liver, but the rest of his body was definitely fucked for tomorrow.

“I thought that was you,” a familiar voice said next to him. He startled, and turned a little too fast to see Ravi leaning against the bar. “Buck and I have a table, you should come join us.”

Tommy had never wished so hard for a freak meteor to fall from outer space and kill him.

“Uh,” he said eloquently.

Lee swooped in. Yes, they’d save him.

“Are you the ex?” Lee asked, eyes narrowed. “Tommy said I couldn't throw you out but if you’re bothering him I will.”

Not a save. Just more embarrassment.

“The ex?” Ravi looked confused. “No, not the ex.”

“You’re not Evan?” Lee asked to clarify.

“No, I’m Ravi — wait, you and Buck broke up?”

Oh. That hurt more than expected.

“Yeah, after Halloween.” Tommy said gruffly.

Ravi’s eyebrows rose. “Wow, switch shifts and it’s like they forget you exist. I just got back on A shift,” he explained, seeing Tommy’s look. “I’ve been floating B and C since — well. Just after Bobby.”

Tommy nodded. Ravi hadn’t had to deal with Gerrard then. At least one of them had escaped unscathed.

“Well, that makes my invitation a little more awkward but… I really think you should join us.”

Lee placed a cup of water in front of Tommy. “I’m closing your tab,” they informed him kindly.

“I thought you liked me,” Tommy complained, drinking the water anyways.

“Look, Buck has seemed mopey all shift and I thought it was because of everything happening with Maddie and Eddie and Bobby but,” Ravi shook his head, “I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on now.”

Tommy tried to parse that, only to realize he hadn’t heard anything about the 118 in a while, and had absolutely no idea what Ravi was talking about. Lee refilled his water, which apparently he’d finished at some point. He pulled out his wallet, tapped his card to pay for his drink, and pulled two twenties out for Lee. He paused, and pulled out a third one. He wasn’t convinced the night wouldn’t end with either him or Evan or both of them getting thrown out of the bar. Might as well make someone’s night better.

Ravi ordered two of the beers on tap, as well as four shots. “What?” He asked when Tommy looked at him. “I’m ninety five percent sure it’s the best way to get him to talk and a hundred percent sure I’ll need it to deal with the two of you.”

Lee laughed as they took Ravi’s money.

“I’ll bring the drinks over, you two go sit,” Lee said.

“Traitor,” Tommy hissed as he followed Ravi away from the bar. Lee’s laugh followed him to the table where Evan and Ravi had been set up. Ravi slid into his previous seat, across from Evan, and Tommy hesitated briefly before taking the seat next to Ravi. There was no way he was going to sit next to Evan.

“What took so long?” Evan asked Ravi, before his eyes caught on Tommy. His eyes widened, mouth open with an unasked question.

Lee came over with a tray of their drinks, splitting the shots between Ravi and Evan, placing another water in front of Tommy when they put down the beers Ravi had ordered.

Evan grabbed one of the shots and downed it, then sputtered at the taste.

“Ravi, what the fuck is that?”

“Peanut butter whiskey,” Ravi said, unbothered, as he sipped his own shot.

“That’s… no. That’s not for shots,” Tommy said.

“Sorry I have taste buds,” Ravi shot back.

Evan took a sip of his beer and slid the other shot towards Tommy, who alternated it with the water. It was actually good whiskey, it just wasn’t meant for shots.

“So, how’s Eddie doing in Texas?” Ravi asked Evan, zero segue, and Tommy knew he was watching for Tommy’s reaction.

“Fine,” Evan muttered, playing with a coaster, eyes focused on the tabletop. “Lots of work to be done on the house. He’s trying to do it himself but I think he’s going to have to hire someone. He’s not that handy.”

“Chris staying with him yet?” Ravi pressed.

“Friday and Saturday nights. The rest of the time he’s still with his grandparents. You know, we talked about all of this at work. You can just tell him,” he jerked his chin towards Tommy. “You don’t need me to do that.”

Ravi sighed and turned towards Tommy. “So Eddie bought a house in El Paso and moved back to be closer to Chris, which is why I’m on A shift again. Bobby’s mom is apparently the leader of a mega church and a con artist, and we got called out to a scene at her church today. Oh, and Maddie got kidnapped by a serial killer and almost died, but she and the baby are fine now.”

“Are you fucking with me?” Tommy asked, not harshly, but even for the 118 that seemed like a lot.

“Oh, and Buck moved out of the loft and took over Eddie’s lease so he could go to Texas. Did I miss anything?” Ravi directed the last question to Evan.

“Denny got his cast off and should be able to play baseball this summer,” Evan added, still looking down.

“That all — that seriously all happened since November?” Tommy asked.

“Honestly, most of it was in the last month,” Ravi said.

The three of them fell into an awkward silence as Tommy tried to think of what to say to Evan. “I’m sorry” didn’t feel adequate, and “are you okay?” felt pretty heartless.

“So, what have you been up to?” Ravi asked Tommy, putting Evan’s focus back on him.

“Oh, uh, nothing much,” Tommy said, playing with the straw in his water glass. “Uh, fixed up two cars for a collector. Work. That’s pretty much it.”

Silence fell again.

“Well, you two are super fun,” Ravi said. “I’m getting more drinks.” He abandoned them to their awkwardness, heading for the bar even though his and Evan’s beers were barely half empty and he still had a shot.

Evan sucked in a breath then looked shocked when Tommy looked at him.

“Maddie’s really okay?” Tommy asked, thinking that was the safest thing to start with.

Evan nodded. “Physically, yeah. She’s still shaken up. She’s taking some time off work.”

“She and Howie are having another kid?”

“Yeah, uh, a boy,” Evan smiled down at his beer, avoiding eye contact with Tommy, but the smile was genuine. “Jee seems to think he’s going to be full grown, I think she’s only used to Denny as the idea of a brother, but she’s excited.”

“That’s great,” Tommy said softly.

Ravi returned with Lee and more shots — not peanut butter whiskey this time — and some of them were for Tommy this time, though Lee did still give him another water and a reproachful look that told him if he didn’t finish it, Lee wouldn’t be so nice the next time he came in.

They muddled through a surface level conversation, avoiding any more discussion of the topics Ravi had mentioned. More shots appeared at the table, and waters for all of them, not just Tommy. It was just past midnight when Ravi called it quits for the night, ordering an Uber and closing out his tab. Evan and Tommy waved as he left the table, sitting in comfortable silence before they both realized this wasn’t a normal night out for them. The awkwardness settled in quickly, and they pulled out their phones in near unison to get their own rides.

Evan groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked, on high alert after everything he’d heard from Ravi.

“Nothing, uh, my phone just died,” Evan said.

“My place isn’t that far from Eddie’s — from your place,” Tommy corrected, “we can share a ride and it can drop you home after me.”

Evan hesitated and looked at him, expression unreadable.

“Just a ride,” Tommy said.

“Okay,” Evan nodded, following him as Tommy stood up from the table and walked out of the bar. Evan had settled his tab when Ravi did, so they didn’t need to stop at the bar. Tommy saw Lee clock them walking out together, raising an eyebrow at him, an expression on their face that meant Tommy was definitely going to have to talk about this the next time he was there.

Maybe he’d find a new bar. Lots of places did trivia, after all.

The uber arrived quickly, and Tommy held the car door open for Evan. It wasn’t a small car, but their hands ended up brushing together in the backseat anyways.

Tommy wasn’t sure who started it, but before they’d gone three blocks, their fingers were firmly linked together and Evan was tracing patterns on the back of his hand. It was just a ride, Tommy reminded himself. He had this for another ten, maybe fifteen minutes, depending on the route and the lights. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it to be faster or longer. Either way it would drive him crazy.

When they pulled up to Tommy’s house — thirteen minutes, the shorter route but more red lights, his brain helpfully catalogued — Evan followed him out of the car, thanking the driver before he left.

“Can I come in?” Evan asked. Tommy’s heart flipped painfully. He told himself it was from the alcohol.

“Sure,” Tommy said, not mentioning when Evan linked their fingers together again as they walked up the front path.

“Want to plug your phone in?” Tommy asked, when they were standing in his living room.

Evan moved silently towards the side table where Tommy kept his charging cords, bending at the waist slightly to reach the cord. Tommy stared at his ass, the way he had when they were together. The alcohol had slowed his reflexes some, and he didn’t manage to tear his eyes away before Evan turned back around.

“Thank god,” Evan said, crossing the room to him and crashing their mouths together like he had when Tommy had shown up at the hospital for Howie and Maddie’s wedding. Tommy moaned in surprise, hands flying to Evan’s hips immediately, pulling him closer. Tommy’s awareness narrowed down to the points of contact between him and Evan, unable to think of anything else until Evan pulled back enough for them to take a breath.

“I wasn’t — I didn’t plan this,” Tommy said.

“Duh,” Evan scoffed. “I invited myself in.”

“This is just going to make things harder,” Tommy had to make him understand.

“It’s making something harder,” Evan said, a smirk on his face now.

“Evan,” Tommy tried again.

“Tommy,” Evan said back to him, a hint of mockery in his tone, but sounding overwhelming desperate.

Tommy could blame the alcohol running through his system, right? He could say he was doing this for Evan. It was what Evan needed.

When Evan reached for him again, he went willingly. They shed their clothes as they made their way through Tommy’s house to the bedroom, bumping into walls and picture frames. There was never less than two points of contact between them, Tommy’s skin alight with the heat rolling off of Evan.

They tumbled into bed holding each other closer than Tommy thought physically possible. Tommy felt like he was trying to burrow his way into Evan’s body, like he could meld them into one being and stay there forever. Was there a way he could keep this? Was there something he could say to take away the hurt he’d caused? Was there a way to keep Evan in his bed, in his life? Evan’s hands on his body brought him back from his thoughts, focused on the righthererightnow.

Buck slipped out of bed the next morning, silently collecting his clothes and his phone. Tommy was still asleep as he moved through the house, a ghost in a now unfamiliar place. It made it easier, almost, or so Buck told himself. He closed the front door carefully and ordered an Uber, setting the location to the coffee shop a block away, and the drop off point as Maddie’s house. He didn’t want to bother her but… he felt like she was the only person he could talk to.

Every step away from Tommy’s house made him feel heavier, like he was wearing his work gear in quicksand. He thought he’d feel… better about it, somehow. This time it was his choice to leave. With every house he passed his stomach roiled, not the feeling of a morning after heavy drinking but the feeling that something was wrong, that he’d made a mistake.

But Tommy had been the one to walk away first. Tommy had decided he wasn’t Buck’s last. Wasn’t Buck just… proving him right? Wasn’t that what he wanted?

Buck walked into the coffee shop and got a large coffee and a greasy breakfast sandwich for himself, a little pastry for Maddie to make up for dropping all this in her lap with no notice.

The driver was waiting for him when he left the shop, and he slid into the back seat, alone this time. He was silent on the drive, thanking the driver when they arrived. He was glad to see Chimney’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

He let himself in with his spare key and called a hello to Maddie. She was sitting in the kitchen, still in her pajamas, hands around a cup of coffee — Chimney had at least let up on that this time around. He handed her the pastry bag and sat across from her, hands still wrapped around his take out cup.

She looked down at what she clearly knew was a bribery pastry, then up at Buck.

“Buck? What’s going on?”

“Maddie, I did something stupid.”

It was fair, Tommy thought, that Evan was the one to walk away this time without letting Tommy say anything to stop him. He'd clearly seen that Tommy was right, had spent the night in Tommy’s little house, the garage the biggest part of it, and realized, yeah, Tommy wasn’t his last. Tommy had been right. Tommy had been right that Evan would break his heart.

Tommy had just been wrong about how much it would hurt.

tag list: @chimneyz @bucktommyscones @swagmaster9k @geekwarrior107 @racerchix21 @fan-of-a-lot @bybobbysbeard @desert--moonchild @deans-hoodie

interact with this post to be added/removed

[a-simple-imagine]

Frame by Frame

Synopsis: Ever since you were little, you have always loved the idea of creating films but when you're entire world comes crashing down in the Canadian wilderness all hope seems lost. however, little snapshots of life shared with your friends - shared with van - keep you hopeful that maybe everything will be okay.

Pairings: van palmer x fem!reader. (elements of van palmer x taissa turner. elements of taissa turner x fem!reader and depending on how you wanna interpret it elements of van palmer x fem!reader x taissa turner)

Words: 10k+

A/N - this jumps around between the adult timeline and teen timeline in a similar way to the show. please do tell me if you think it's too confusing

WARNINGS - swearing, elements of depression, mentions of violence, blood and the wilderness, vomiting, jealousy, a little internalised homophobia and I think that's it.

The warmth of a blaring white sun sitting high in the sky. The hustle and bustle of the mid-afternoon traffic. Cars honk with urgency. Businessmen rush around. Kids zoom past lost in magical worlds and games of tag. Your foot taps in an ever-steady rhythm. Glancing every which way awaiting her arrival. She was as late as always. Never less than five full minutes behind your agreed-upon schedule. She eventually always turned up. Would never leave you hanging. Especially considering how much she loved the movie theatre. The aroma of fresh popcorn lingered lightly in the air as your weight shifted from one leg to the other. Squirming under the watchful gaze of strangers. The pairs spare you a glimpse as they head inside the theatre together. Adults with hefty bags of shopping, wondering what you're doing just standing in the way of the pavement. Your existence is an inconvenience. You pray she arrives soon so your sin is forgiven.

A heavy weight on your back sends you stumbling a few steps. Trying to remain upright and proper. "dinosaur attack" wailed into your ear. Vanessa Anne Palmer. Noisy and undignified. Your very best friend in the whole world other than Tai. Possibly some of the other girls too. You and Van shared 'geeky' interests as Jackie would call them. The biggest is movies. You couldn't always afford to come to the movie theatre; sometimes Van would encourage you enough to sneak in, other times you settled for renting old movie tapes.

"ha ha very funny," you huff as her feet reach the ground once more. Neither amused by her antics nor as vexed as you may come across. You just cared about being comfortable in a seat before the movie starts. "We're gonna miss it," a degree of urgency in your tone. Van knew how much you liked to be punctual here. The beginning of a movie sets the premise. She understood that well.

"nice to see you too," Van quips. A firm pat on the shoulder as they head towards the ticket booth. "Calm down, we won't miss it." you bite your tongue, not wishing to make this any longer than it needs to be. You each pay for a ticket to Jurassic Park. The excitement now taking over the emotions of before. There was just something so enticing about being here. A treat after a school week. Van flashes a smile as they lead the way.

The movie theatre is a very old building with deep plush carpets and bizarre pictures of old Hollywood actors. Chipped red paint accented with gold. There was a newer theatre in the mall with bright carpets and arcade machines, but you much preferred this one. It felt like stepping back in time even with all the posters for upcoming releases. "Wait," you grab her wrist. "We should get snacks."

"I only brought enough for the movie,"

"so? We can share." You don't wait for a response, dragging her towards the concession stand.

"I thought you 'didn't wanna miss it'?" playful teasing as she mimics your voice. Allowing you to pull her towards all the snacks. They had all kinds to choose from. A massive glass cabinet full of popcorn. Shelves of colourful candy. Soda dispensers in the back. An older woman you've come to know as Sharon greets you with a smile. It's hard to choose but you would never deny yourself the pleasure of fresh, warm movie theatre popcorn.

"Can I get a regular popcorn, please?" ever so politely as the van appears beside you, slapping down a large bag full of brightly coloured gummy candy covered in sugar.

"and sour gummy worms?" posed as a question for you rather than a demand of Sharon. Van has a particular taste for sour candy. It's like she wants to punish her mouth. Your nose scrunches up at the thought, but she just flashes her best puppy dog eyes and you give in, handing over the money your mom gave you before leaving the house today. "Now we can go- thank you," snatching the candy up, she starts pushing you away. You just about manage to grab your popcorn and say a quick thanks before you're forced towards the screening.

"stop pushing me. I'm losing my popcorn," you express, a glance back at the stray pieces that now form a trail to your destination.

"we're gonna miss the beginning," she taunts but she does stop; moving to walk in step and sling her arm around your shoulder. You do your best to shove them away but you can't help but smile as you push open the double doors and your eyes settle on that giant screen.

It was a particularly quiet day at 'while you were streaming'. Not a singular customer in sight all day except for one very lost man. When Van first opened the shop, there had been a lot of interest. It was cool and nostalgic. A safe space if you will. But as time passed and the novelty wore off, things slowed down. It can't be helped when everyone nowadays has instant access to millions of films. You stood behind the counter willing yourself to stay awake until closing. There wasn't long left now. Van appeared from behind the shelves, dropping a few VHS tapes on the counter. She had been organising all the returns. A crinkle in their brow.

"This grumpy face is scaring away all the customers," she pipes up. A mocking smirk quirked on her lips.

"van... you never had many of those, to begin with," her hand reaches across the counter to slap against your arm.

"don't be mean about my store," you can't help but roll your eyes. Always so protective over this stupid place. You'd been here since its inception but it was more so van's store than yours. You liked helping out. You cherished the enjoyment Van got out of it.

However, will I live with myself?"

"might as well end it all now," Van teases, leaning down against the counter. You shove her arm, making her stumble but she just chuckles.

"You'd miss me too much," palms against the hardwood so you were at eye level. Maintaining her gaze in a silent challenge. You expect a snarky comeback. At the very least, for her to shove you off balance too. But she doesn't. Instead, she leans in to lightly skim her lips against yours.

"that I would," whispered into the embrace before pulling back, clasping the tapes and continuing her work. "Don't work too hard,"

Thumbs and forefingers stand tall creating the perfect angle with each hand. The left in one corner, the other held higher to create the other. A makeshift frame for your fiction camera that your eyes gaze down. The sun sits high in the sky; hot and overwhelming. It makes you feel gross and sticky. Sweat pouring out of you. The ground was ever so dry. Your fellow sports teams are each doing their part to make life out here a little more bearable. The Routine was good. It was needed. You begin with a wide shot of the trees; tall and all-consuming. The Canadian wilderness was not kind to those who dared to enter. So easy to get lost. And to get hurt. You pan across to the teenage girls that are dotted around the clearing in front of the cabin.

"And here we have the humble yellowjackets," you commence your narration. Serene and unassuming as if they were animals in a nature documentary you wish not to disturb. "In a similar vein to bees, the yellowjacket hive consists mainly of worker bees. All female of course. Males are often disposed of quickly," you describe as you very carefully step across the ground. "However, ultimately the objective is the same," weaving through empty spaces. Pointing the camera at each girl as you pass them before zooming in on Nat and Lottie. "Serve the queen."

"still pretending none of this is real," Mari huffs as she barges straight past. A hard collision of shoulders. "How about you try doing something useful?"

"hey- lay off her," Van is rapid to your defence. Jumping into your personal space to form a human blockade between the two of you. It wasn't like you'd actually start fighting or anything. "she is getting water with me."

Mari scoffs, keeping any comments to herself as she continues on. Likely wasted breath at this point. Everyone knows that Van will always defend your honour even when you're in the wrong. It had always been that way. Even more so since getting stuck out here. You have never really asked for it but you don't shy away from it either. Whatever makes life easier. "And here we have my most favouritest yellowjacket," your pretend camera zooms in on her face as she turns to you. "Van Palmer," her hand shoots up to block your view.

"Okay okay- put the camera away and let's go," a bucket is shoved into your stomach. Not enough to hurt, but it makes you drop the camera and grab the item. A groan slips into the dry air as you follow her.

"you didn't have to defend me back there," you clarify as you fall into step with her. "I'm used to Mari being an ass."

"what you should be saying is thank you, Van. You're such a good friend," for a moment she seems serious until she adds "I owe you my life," and you shove her.

"I can handle Mari," you collapse into a moment of silence as you make your way through the woods. The sounds of teenage girls morphing into snapping twigs and bird calls. As peaceful as it is out here, you know better by now.

"I can't believe you're still doing that shit" van pipes up. You spare her a look but she's solely leading the charge.

"doing what?"

"the whole camera thing," they hold their thumb and finger out at a clear angle as she veers around to you. "thought you would have given up by now."

"someone's gotta document this shit," you justify. In some ways, you've considered facing the reality of the situation but in other ways, your words ran true. This was something bizarre and interesting. A once in a lifetime event. You were just trying to make the best of it.

"you're an idiot,"

"Excuse you, you're talking to a legendary director here,"

"Alright Spielberg, how about we try not to die of dehydration first, yeah?"

It's a late Sunday evening or more so an early Monday morning. Moonlight creeps in through the crack in the blinds. Van sleeps peacefully beside you; her chest rising and falling with steady breaths. It's a comforting sight as sleep evades you for the evening. Sat upright against the headboard, you stare into the darkness. Nights like this weren't uncommon. Your mind is a playground for the melancholy memories of past lives and unused potential. Twenty-five years wasn't enough to calm the scarred teenager in your chest. Would time ever just be enough?

"Are you okay?" voice but a whisper, the other shifts beside you. "what time is it?"

You need not burden her with your worries. There is little she can do to help but you know if you tell her she will try. She'd offer you the world if she could. "go back to sleep," you insist but the uncomfortably bright screen lights up the bedroom.

"It's like three in the morning," her phone hits the bedside table with a not-so-delicate thump. One arm left dangling over the side of the bed, her head turns to face your way before planting into the pillow. "What are you doing?"

As temperate eyes trail over your lover, you can tell she's sleepy. Struggling to fight off the drowsiness to have this conversation with you. It almost makes you feel bad but it wasn't your fault. Not really. "don't worry about it."

"you've been..." her words trail off into a yawn. "so weird recently,"

"Thanks," more snark than intended.

"lay down," her hand slaps lazily against your covered legs.

"Van,"

"Come on- down," she slaps a few more times before you give in. Shuffling further under the duvet to lie down against the mattress. The redhead is quick to snuggle against you, resting her head on your chest. "Tell me what you were thinking about," not a suggestion but a demand.

You take a deep breath, truly sensing the comforting weight of her against you. "I can't,"

"you can,"

"No really- I'm not thinking about anything in particular," your hand comes up to start running through her hair. Such soft locks of beautiful auburn. She must have just washed it. "Just life I guess,"

"and that makes you sad?" the question catches you off guard. She is putting words in your mouth; it feels like an attack. The beginning of a fight she's already having with you in her head. But her words are not entirely unsubstantiated because in many ways, yes. The grim blue-grey filter of melancholy taints years of your life. Where would you be had that plane not fallen out of the sky? Would you have become soccer champions? Would you have spent hours in the mall with your mom picking out the perfect outfit for prom? Would you have gone to film school? Become a filmmaker? You miss the rush of sneaking into R-rated movies. Getting drunk in the backseat of fast-moving cars. Stealing longing glances under star-filled skies. You used to be so carefree and one freak accident stole so much from you. Nothing was the same after that. Everything became harder. The only people who could even remotely understand were pushed away to shield yourself from the darkness. Now you look at the sky and see the endless void of the universe. What ifs haunt your sleepless nights, leaving nothing but bags under your eyes and deep wrinkles. You used to have such bright dreams but that feels so long ago now. So much time is wasted on the most important thing in the world; surviving.

"I'm not sure it's that simple," voice so quiet, meek even, it doesn't feel like your own. A stranger to yourself. A warm hand slips under the hem of your t-shirt, grazing over your stomach. Perhaps her attempt at comfort? For herself or you, you'll never know. You glance down at her. Vannessa Anne Palmer. She used to be your best friend. You have experienced every frame of life together. An interwoven narrative. It felt shameful that you harboured such sadness. Sometimes you look at her and see the childhood wonder and unbridled joy, but other times you see those teenage girls fighting to stay alive. You see the scars of missed moments and unshakable fear. The things you couldn't protect her from. You were only kids but guilt was etched in your much older bones. Tears threaten to make your sombre night even worse. You close your eyes tight. Her fingertips unexpectedly apply a light pressure against your skin. Grounding you in the instant. You relax a little but keep your eyes closed until you fall asleep together.

Each step into the treeline under the setting sun feels like a step into the unknown. Treading lightly on the edge of the forbidden. Sneaking away for the cabin when nobody was looking. The world feels so still. Welcoming you into its embrace, but you weren't going far. Just enough for every moment to feel private. You soon come across a particular redhead and her faithful curly-haired companion. Your pretend camera makes a reappearance. A medium shot of the two of them, so natural, so lovely among the wilderness you once feared.

"and here we have my other favourite member of the hive. The ever interesting yellowjacket. Taissa," you proclaim your presence with the best nature documentary voice you could muster.

"moved onto documentaries I see," the girl grabs your wrist as you zoom in, yanking you down to the ground with her. "She's about to start."

You ditch the make-believe, settling in beside Tai. She tosses half of a blanket over your legs to protect you from the ever-declining temperature that comes with the disappearance of the sun. You are so aware of your proximity tonight. The way her leg keeps brushing against yours as the two of you stare up at the van. A grand retelling of some movie you're not sure you have even seen before? Maybe she was taking some creative liberties with this story. Your brow crinkles as you raise your hand to feign politeness

"Uh, what movie is this?" asked unexpectedly mid-sentence.

"guess,"

You look to Tai for assistance but she seems more lost than you do. "dunno, I thought it was ET but it's all kinda nonsense. "

Van sighs dramatically. "It's Mac and me."

"yeah... I didn't see that,"

"What's Mac and me?" Tai wonders.

"some ET rip-off- don't worry about it,"

"Now before I was so rudely interrupted-"

"Please just come sit down," you interrupt once more.

"not curious about how it ends?" she questions but she is already taking the few steps to join you.

"You know I hate spoilers."

"I honestly lost track," Tai admits. "I just like hearing you talk,"

"Thank you, Tai, at least someone around here appreciates me." Van takes a seat directly opposite the two of you; taking the other end of the blanket to cover her legs.

"oh my god, get a room."

"and leave you out here all alone?" Van starts.

"We would never," Tai finishes like a perfectly rehearsed joke they'd merely been waiting to use.

"I'm a big girl. I'm sure I can handle myself while the two of you make out."

"See now you say that," Van leans in closer, weirdly patting your knee over the blanket. "but you two look awfully cosy over there."

"shut up,"

Her hands go up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying. Any closer and you'll be sitting in her lap."

An arm snakes around your back and towards your shoulder, yanking you into her side. taissa offers a mischievous smile at her antics. "so cosy," you may have been the one to start it but you were not enjoying this line of teasing. You make the conscious effort to shift away from Taissa before getting up.

"hey- come on, we're just fucking with you."

"I don't like it," you communicate, dusting yourself off but Van catches your wrist before you can walk away.

"Stay," Van urges. "We'll stop. I'll be on my best behaviour."

A huff of a laugh from Tai. "Maybe we should all head back. The others are gonna wonder what we're doing."

"the others are gonna think we're making out in the woods," Van responds her attention on Tai but still with her hand around your wrist.

"There's three of us," you answer. A roll of your eyes.

"Three people can make out." Taissa insists. You look between the two of them.

"let's go back," you decide. "it's getting chilly anyway."

The other two stand. Van collects the blanket and you all head back. Taissa's arm slung across your shoulders. Van's hand is yours, just a few steps behind so she doesn't get lost.

Your entire adult life feels like you are in a never-ending sea of unpaid bills. Every day a new one seemingly appears to tug you further and further into the abyss. This store just keeps adding insult to injury as you organise the pieces of paper in order of urgency. It was already fast approaching midday and you hadn't even started taking inventory today. Trapped in this stuffy, back room for so long now with your latest addition to your to-do list; a brand-new delivery. Conveniently, van had been missing in action all morning. She had run away before you even opened up shop. No explanation was given because why would you need to know where the only other employee was. "Hey!" the voice surprised you, but it was only the owner. Van has returned.

"We need to start doing this shit more often, "you grumble, slapping a paper down on the desk. "you have so many tapes- this is gonna take fucking forever and we just got a delivery of god knows what,"

"sounds like you had an exciting morning," she walks up behind you, hands coming to your shoulders she lightly massages them.

"Where have you been?"

"out," a kiss placed upon your head, van leaves you be and perches on the edge of the desk. You cross your arms as you look up at her. With a clap of your hands, you jump up.

"You can do the rest of this, I'm gonna man the front,"

"Now how is that fair?" Van trails after you onto the shop floor. You seize a couple of old comic books off the shelves along the way to entertain yourself.

"It's your shop van," you insist, "plus I've been doing all the work for hours, I can't stare at that screen anymore."

"Did you at least digitise the tapes I left on the cabinet?" A wave of realisation. You did not do that. You don't even remember her asking, but she won't like that answer.

"shit- no,"

You know they're coming in this afternoon to collect them,"

"Sorry, I forgot," you apologise, tossing your comics down and hauling the stool you insisted Van keep back here closer to the countertop.

"babe-"

"stop," you groan. All you wanted right now was to sit alone and not think about anything or everyone for at least an hour. Idle busy work if a customer showed up. "I already apologised, you can't..." you trail off, no longer wishing to share your thoughts. It wasn't worth it so you hop onto the stool and flip open the first page of the comic book. It's bright colours now faded with age.

"Can't what? Expect you to do the one thing I asked you to do?"

A visible scowl. Was she being serious? You basically ran this place solo at this point; dealing with all the bills and admin that she always left to the very last minute because she knows you'll do it, but now suddenly you're not pulling your weight? Crazy thing to say when she hasn't even been here all morning. "One thing?" you question but it was mostly rhetorical. Glancing up at her. "I quite literally do everything around here and it's not even my place- it's yours."

"nobody asked you to," Van shoots back.

"Nothing would get done if I didn't", you stress. "Do you know how much debt we're in? or how you keep getting new deliveries? We need to sell the old shit before getting more. We also need more rentals or something that brings in money. I deal with most of the admin, I do the stock checks, and I manage this stupid counter."

"didn't know it was such a burden for you to help out,"

"that's not helping out- that's doing all the work."

"You're free to leave whenever you want," a grand gesture towards the door. You search her face to figure out just how serious she was.

"Seriously?"

"if you hate the store so much." she deliberately closes the comic book cover. "if it's such a fucking burden then leave."

You debate continuing to argue. Was it worth the hassle when you wanted to leave anyway? She was offering you a day off. Maybe not in those exact words, but leaving meant no work and it wasn't like you were gonna solve this right now. You knew Van far too well. You were both too combative right now. Too touchy. So you slowly stand, walk upstairs to get a jacket and leave her alone.

A very heavy sigh slips past your lips as you sit alone on an uncomfortable log. The clearing looked beautiful. Or as beautiful as you could with such limited supplies. The rest of the team chatted and danced and acted merry. Enjoying a stew made special for the occasion. There was even booze. But you didn't feel much like partying. You would go back inside the cabin if you didn't think it would invite questions, and so you sit here watching everyone. A callback to a time when survival wasn't the only thing that mattered. You grab the gift of nature; a collection of twigs, bark, leaves and feathers. All arranged into a pretty crown. Taissa had given it to you. Apparently, she made it with Van's assistance. Somehow you doubted that though. It looked too nice. Too neat. Too perfect.

"You know... just because it's called doomcoming does not mean you have to be all doom and gloom." Such a devilish tone could only belong to one member of the Wiskayok High School girls' soccer team; Van Palmer. "I brought food," low and behold, the redhead joins you on the log. "You good?"

"I'm fine,"

"you don't sound fine," Van replies, handing over a mug of strew or soup or whatever was made. Yum. "what's wrong?"

"Nothing,"

"Then why are you so miserable?"

"van. I'm fine- go back to the party." you glance up to meet her shy eyes. Red bleeds out from the pupil of her left eye while a homemade mask covers the scarred skin of her left cheek. It was adorned with pretty patterns and delicate feathers. Tai probably made it. You swallow hard, the pit brewing in your stomach beginning to bubble.

"I am gonna sit right here until you tell me," they reply, patting the rough bark. "and soon Taissa will wander on over and start asking questions too."

"And I will tell her the exact same thing I am telling you," you respond. "I'm fine."

"So stubborn," Van murmurs. You don't take it to heart or dignify it with a response. You stir the spoon through the mug watching it swirl. It did not look very appetising but your stomach growled anyway. You both sat in the moment before Van piped up again. "You didn't like the crown we made?"

It wasn't that you didn't like it but rather you didn't understand why Tai had given it to you. She had seemed so elated to show off her handy work. It must have taken ages given the level of detail. She had come to you in a private beat away from prying eyes to share the gift. But why? You could have made your own. Everyone else managed it, does she see you as less capable? "You didn't make it,"

"I helped," she insists. "I picked all the feathers and leaves so I did make it." her hand is held out expectantly so you hand it over. It moves through her hands evidently inspecting it. Considering she seemingly helped, she didn't seem too familiar with it. "I wonder if Tai meant for everything to match?"

"what do you mean?" you reluctantly take a spoonful of soup and bring it to your lips. It wasn't cold yet which was nice but its flavours were muted and sort of weird.

"It looks like it could go with either of our masks, like they all come from a matching set or something," she explains", that was probably her plan."

"why not another mask then?" her shoulders rise and fall, her attention still focused on the crown. You look to it. The same feathers Van has on her own accessory. A silver charm that dangles off your crown. A similar one sits just below van's eye. Maybe it really had been the intention behind its design. You could see the similarities clear as day now that you were so close to them.

"Maybe she didn't wanna cover this pretty face," you're quick to meet her gaze, a minor shock by the compliment. She sports a smile. It's gentle. Genuine. Like the most innate thing in the world. Van takes the moment to carefully place the crown back upon your head. "I know I wouldn't," you feel your breath catch. An unexpected rush of heat to your cheeks that makes you look away. Embarrassed by such simple words. You really doubt that was the reason.

"you... kissed in front of everyone," said calmly. So quietly it seems like a secret rather than a fact. Habit perhaps?

"yeah," there's a fondness to her exhale. Maybe a degree of contentment.

"I thought you weren't coming to this stupid thing and then you showed up and kissed Tai." You hadn't meant to sound bitter. You're not even entirely sure what you were upset about. Shouldn't you be happy right now? Proud of them?

"is that what you're upset about?" she's not accusing you only asking. A reasonable conclusion to come to.

"No, I'm just saying," You can't look at them. Can't bear to let them see the possible lie behind your eyes.

"figured if I'm gonna die out here may as well be myself," you sigh softly. Another spoonful of soup to stop any ridiculous thoughts from escaping your mouth.

"you shouldn't joke about things like that," you finally say. Looking out at everyone so oblivious to this moment with Van. Your own tiny part of doomcoming until your gaze meets Taissa's from across the way. She doesn't look angry. Rather an awed expression. Inquisitive eyes and a warm smile that makes your heart beat a little bit faster.

Strolling back into the apartment with a fresh coffee in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other, you find Van sitting at the dining table. It's early. Earlier than you would normally expect her to be up and ready for the day anyway. "Where have you been?" so cold, you internally wince at the question. It felt like she was accusing you of something. Of running away when she had been the one to send you packing yesterday.

"just went for a walk. Stopped for a drink." you explain, placing down the coffee and snack you brought for them. "and had a think."

"I've been thinking too," you weren't enjoying how ominous this conversation was. How cold van was being? Maybe it was worse than you thought. You hung back by the sink, eyeing the back of her head.

"about?"

"you're right," she starts and you're immediately intrigued by such a confession. "the store was my idea, it's-it's my thing and I've been taking advantage of the fact that if I don't do something you probably will. It's not fair on you."

"Oh,"

"You don't have to help if you don't want to. You should do your own thing,"

"I like helping out," you express. Your outburst was a result of a stressful situation rather than discontent. You liked being helpful to Van. It was nice being able to lighten her burden and you got to see her more.

"you don't have to say that."

"but it's true," you clarify. "I like helping you, Van. It's when I do everything that is the issue, but I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was having a bad morning and took it out on you."

"It's cool, I get it," she replies, half turning to look at you. "I'd do the same thing." all you can do is smile a little. Unsure of what to say next as you look over her stern expression. "so what is it you want?"

"what do you mean?"

"what do you want?" she repeats. No further explanation is needed apparently but she looks to you expectantly.

"I don't know?" you reply, shifting your weight uncomfortably. A standoff between the stubborn. "what are you asking van?"

What's your version of 'while you've been streaming'? What would make you happy?" you open your mouth but nothing comes out. You don't know? You haven't really ever sat down and thought about what you'd realistically be doing if not the shop. You're not sure you could do anything else. Where words fail, a shrug will do. "When we were younger, you wanted to make films right?" It's always a surprise to hear Van bring up the past. It's a surprise when anyone does. It's a topic forbidden by most even when it's about the good moments.

"I guess," you purse your lips. "But that was like a pipe dream, I was never actually gonna become a famous director."

"why not?"

A frown of confusion. She could not be serious right now? Everyone has silly dreams when they're younger, but most people never actually achieve anything and there is no shame in that. Your life may not be Hollywood red carpets or magical movie sets, but it was probably never going to be anyway. "because I'm not delusional,"

"you never even tried though."

"maybe because when we were seventeen we lost our fucking minds, van," you snap. An overreaction that makes you take a moment to breathe. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she answers. "I just think you should find something for yourself. Maybe give making films another go or anything really." she turns away, finally taking a sip of the coffee you brought her. "thanks for breakfast."

You smile a bit knowing she can't see you but you walk on over. "I'm gonna take a shower, i'll come down when I'm done." you kiss the top of her head. "it's a blueberry bagel. That's all they had."

"there's no rush not like we're ever swamped with customers." a joke but you're already walking away. Feeling a little better. A little worse. A tad guilty.

A creepy old cabin you all now call home. Creaky floorboards and spiderwebs included. You've grown accustomed to this ghastly place as have you all. You sit cross-legged on the dirty wooden floor nestled between Taissa's open legs. A selection of feathers and leaves, twigs and charms, whatever she could find scattered around. Such benign hands carefully decorate you like a pretty doll. You weren't one for playing dress up, but with little else for entertainment, and a desire to spend time with Tai, you indulge. Listening to the sound of her voice as she tells you stories or asks questions.

"I think this may be my best work yet,"

"oh yeah?" you want to glance back but you promise to stay still. "all the boys will love me now,"

"more like woodland creatures."

"I can blend in with the trees," Taissa laughs. It's pure and authentic. So uniquely her. It's in these small instances that the wilderness disappears. You weren't fighting for your life or doing copious amounts of chores. You're just hanging out with Tai. Enjoying her company. Being teenagers.

"or impress the girls," she proclaims, a friendly hand on your shoulder. It makes you feel fuzzy. Weird. Shy, maybe?

"I don't know about that," you say. Asa relaxed silence settles, you chew on the inside of your cheek in thought. "can I ask you something?" the other girl hums a response. "do you think we're gonna die out here?"

The question hangs in the air for a beat. A fingernail catching the tip of your ear, making you wince. "Course not," she replies. "Why? do you?"

"I don't know," sure, you have survived this far but barely. Every day brought a new opportunity like some fucked up blessing from the universe. Your friends dying one by one. "Maybe. I was talking to the others and Shauna said-"

"well there's your problem; don't talk to Shauna." Tai urges. Most of her attention has fallen back to her art project.

"Apparently I'm really annoying and it won't matter because we're all gonna die,"

"Jesus," she emphasized. "You're not gonna die out here. None of us are. You're gonna go home and make some awesome fucking films and probably become rich and famous," even if the going home was true, the rest certainly wasn't. Just an attempt to make you feel better, that instead brings a sigh. "Shauna is just grumpy and hates when other people enjoy themselves."

"I don't know," you mumble, a glance down at your hands. "maybe she is right. How long can we really last out here? We never talk about it."

"We'll survive as long as we need," she proclaims. "All done," added before you have a chance to continue. Avoidance always seemed to be the best policy around here... or maybe you just still struggled to come to terms with your situation. You offer a small smile damped with the melancholy topic. You push up onto your knees; turning to face her before settling back down against the back of your legs.

"How do I look?" her fingers clasp your chin. A sharp jolt to the left and a much slower push to the right. Admiring her handiwork. Making you squirm under such intense inspection. She centres your face once more; eyes meeting such deep brown. She'd always had such exquisite eyes; so easy to lose yourself in, and they stare back with such tenderness broken only by the briefest of glances down.

"perfect," muttered quietly and for a second you think she may close the distance. Kiss you in the shadows of an old hunter's cabin but just as quickly the moment is gone as Tai jumps up and holds her hand out. "let's go show the others." your smile brightens, your hands connect and she pulls you to your feet.

The tv flickers with the frames of a movie you have 'borrowed' from the store. An old movie. Black and white in grading serves as the evening entertainment. Lounging on the couch as Van finishes closing up shop. It's been an okay day. A little long but at least you had actual customers and a steady stream of them too. It was sweet to see Van discuss queer films with a group of teens who had come in. or search for old westerns with an older man and his grandson. She makes her presence known as she grabs your legs and lifts them off the couch and to the floor; allowing her to take up space on the two-seater sofa. She shuffles closer but you don't pay her much mind. Focusing on the movie as your legs return to their original spot, which now happened to be across her lap. You sit in the moment together. Just watching the film before Van so casually spoke up. "I got you something."

"Is it dinner? I'm starving."

"it's... not," she replies.

"Should we order something then? I don't really feel like cooking."

"Can you look at me- or like pause the movie or something please?" witha theatrical sigh, you make the point of glancing at her expectantly.A luminous grin across her face, she is evidently very excited about this.

"What?"

"I got you something," they reiterate. You roll your eyes but it's more playful than anything.

"Whatever did you get me, van?" a monotone answer for emphasis. From behind her, she produces a single sleek black camcorder. Small in size. Traditional. "A camera?" you inquire, a brow raised as you glance between her and the gift

It's a mix of emotions as a hint of uncertainty begins to seep into her smile and the camcorder descends into her lap. Second-guessing her decisions, you watch her. "I uh- the guy said it has great battery life, shoots up to 4k- it's sturdy. Perfect starter camera."

"And you want me to... make an ad for the shop or what?" you wonder,a peek back to the movie you were now missing. You definitely should have paused it. "you know we have smartphones, right?"

Van's excitement dwindled with each comeback but you couldn't comprehend what the gift was for. It wasn't your birthday or a holiday and you've certainly not done anything warranting it. Making ads for the shop might bring in new customers, but also sounded like a lot of work to consider it a gift. "You're making this so hard,"

"It's what I do," you shrug. "What are you feeling for dinner?"

Van takes a deep breath before lifting it up and offering the camera once more. "I want you to discover your own thing," she shakes the camera. "Please just take it," with a heavy sigh, you accept Van's gift. If not merely to stop her pouting, one faithful birthday your parents had given you you're first-ever camcorder. It was handheld but bulky. And you carried it absolutely everywhere. It was your most prized possession, much to the dismay of absolutely everyone around you. You pass the camera between both hands. It was smaller than they used to be; had a much more streamlined design and yet still obsolete in a world of smartphones. Van had always been one to favour nostalgia. "You need to start doing stuff for yourself."

"I told you I was happy helping out," you reply.

"I know and I appreciate that, but I want you to find your own thing," her expression gave one of compassion and thoughtfulness. She was trying. You can give her credit for that. "When we were younger, you would record everything and anything. Practice, parties, we could be sitting in your room and that stupid camera would make an appearance. You would force me and Tai to recreate movie scenes," a chuckle at the thought. You used to be so annoying but you saw such value in recording things. In making little films. You loved that camera more than anything and then it got destroyed in the... "I want you to find that girl again." Did she think that was possible? Nobody was the same after everything they had done. The fact you were both managing to live such a mundane life was a miracle. That girl from the nineties felt like looking back on a stranger. Someone who stopped existing at the grand old age of seventeen. Mourning a life you would never have. Your grip on the camera tightens.

"I'm not sure she exists anymore,"

Van reaches over and places her hand over yours. "I'm not saying you're gonna become a famous movie director but who knows? Maybe that desire to make movies is still in there,"

"Van..." your hand relaxes under hers.

"Just try for me, okay?"

"thank you," she backs away and you get to work inspecting the camera. Pulling open the viewfinder and switching on the power. A familiar feeling swelling in your chest. You hold it up, aiming at the redhead who wears the fondest of smiles. It's sincere and perfect. Makes you feel warm inside. So unequivocally in love. "say something,"

"Like what?"

A shrug. "anything- first thing that comes to mind."

It's a mere few seconds of thought before they ever so softly say. "I love you," and it doesn't matter how many times you hear them say it, the heat that spills through every inch of your body is undeniable. The camera lowers ever so slightly.

"Van," you groan.

"what? It was the first thing that came to mind," she declares. You just roll your eyes, shutting off the camera. You shuffle a little closer so that you can lean in and place a tender kiss.

"I love you too," but a whisper against her lips. Soothing fingertips graze your cheek. A peppering of kisses before your noses brushes delicately. It feels like a miracle to be here. That you survived long enough to be here. To feel van against you. Her lips. Her hands. Her gorgeous hair. You're so lucky. So fone. And you can't get enough. You push back into her. Lips clashing in a desperate embrace; the other takes the hint. Guiding you into her lap. Letting you devour her breathy sighs of pleasure. An abrupt moment you pull back. "Wait, what about dinner?"

"shut up," you can't help but chuckle as you lean back in, feeling her smile. Rolling your hips against her and not missing the sigh of "fuck" that so beautiful falls into the air. Dinner could wait when you have van palmer to devour at home.

The music is loud as it echoes through the trees on a warm Saturday night. So loud your ears hum in search of silence. Your feet are a little unstable on the ground in your warm boozy haze. Competent enough to stay upright but drunk enough that everything was fun. Every joke is the funniest thing you've ever heard. Shame is a completely foreign concept. And yet you're in such a secluded space. Tai had stolen you away from your conversation with Lottie. Hidden beneath large trunks of deep mahogany brown. Far enough away to feel alone but close enough that someone could find you with easy effort. You have mostly been chatting about nothing as she slowly edges closer as the time ticks by. You position your arms lazily over her shoulders; swaying to the beat. She doesn't combat it. Her hands come to rest around your hips. "You're a little drunk, huh?" there's an amused smile there.

"yeah," you declare obnoxiously loudly. "I'm having fun."

"maybe a little too much fun," a sweet giggle that felt almost out of place coming from her, but it was like magic to your ears. "you don't have to yell,"

"Oh," you suddenly place your forefinger over your lips. Mouthing outa brisk 'sorry,'.

"It's okay," she responds, taking your hand and placing it back over her shoulder. "You don't have to be silent either. You're good, you just smile in response. Losing yourself to the music. Enjoying the moment. "You look... really good tonight,"

"no you, look really good tonight!"

"you think so?"

You nod, eager to please. "You always look really good. Everyone thinks so,"

"I don't know about everyone," Tai steps closer in your grip. "but it means a lot coming from you."

"Are you insane?" you ask. "everyone is obsessed with your nerdy ass and if they're not then," you shrug. "that's their loss."

"Did you just call me a nerd?" mock offence etched into her voice.

"I call it as I see it, turner" you taunter.A naughty smirk. "did you miss the part where I said everyone is obsessed?"

"no," she shrugs. "I just already knew you were obsessed with me."

"I don't remember saying I was obsessed,"

"But it's what you meant," a roll of your eyes, but Taissa wears a cheerful grin. You let the banter settle. A silent sway as you stand there together. It's a weird moment from the outside. Two girls just dancing amongst the trees, but it felt as natural as the setting sun. You feel faint. Giddy. And yet your stomach churns with bad decisions.

"Should we head back?" you propose. Her eyes remain on yours like she's searching for something. Hoping to find some treasure behind your glossy vision. It unsettles you. Neither good nor bad. Anxious maybe? A bit forming in your stomach. You go to turn away but her hand catches your cheek and her lips collide with yours. It's rushed and uncertain. Testing the boundaries. But your stomach churns so you shove her away before the contents of your stomach come rippling up and out all over the floor.

"fuck"

"I'm-" hunched over and gaping for air, you swallow down the feeling. "I-it's not you." but it's not enough to tame the burning sensation that brings even more bile and disgustingness pouring out.

"kinda seems like it is," Tai urges. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- we should get you home."

You nod gradually ", I think so, yeah," with a shaky breath, you stand up straight; wiping your mouth with your arm. "Sorry,"

You're good to walk or still?" you stand there for a second, calming yourself down. Ignoring the world. But then you nod again.

"I'm fine,"

"you sure,"

"yeah," an extra deep breath and a very slow exhale.

"I got you," her hand comes around your chest, supporting your weight as the two of you return to the party. Nobody seems to have noticed your absence. All doing their own thing oblivious to what you had been doing. You quickly find the rest of your soccer team or at least some of them.

"There you guys are," Shauna says on approach.

"Van," you call out brightly as you spot the redhead. "Hi, van! I missed you."

Her brow furrows. "Missed you too bud- you're a little drunk."

"Maybe,"

"I think we're gonna head off," Tai announces to the group.

"I can take her home if you wanna stay?" Van suggests her attention is now on Taissa. "I was gonna go soon."

"Nah it's cool, I'm staying at her place anyway," Tai shifts her arm a little higher. Feeling a little more in your own body, you step out of her grasp. "You can join if you want. Might need the help."

"oh- uh, sure," Van seemsa slight surprised but she grins, now turning back to you. "do you want some water or something before we go?"

"I'm good," you reach into the semi-circle of teammates to grab her hand, also grabbing Tai's from beside you. "Let's go. Bye., a chorus of farewells as you drag the others back towards the car.

"Tai kissed me," you casually declare.

"Did she now?" heard from Van who was walking just a few steps behind with Tai next to her.

"Can you keep your voice down," Tai huffs. "and you're drunk, so I'm not convinced you even know what's going on." Hand yanked from yours, and she breezed past. "You also threw up twice."

"I didn't mean to," you whine. A soft chuckle as the van speeds up to walk beside you.

"You cool with me staying over too?" Van asks. Your vision follows Tai.

"uh- yeah, I don't care."

Bright light peaks through half-open curtains waking you from a restless slumber. Death may have come early with the way your body aches. So many bad decisions; far too many drinks. Natalie hadn't helped the situation at all and now you're paying the price. An uncomfortably still room. Hotter than the surface of the sun.An audible groan as you roll onto your side, burying your face in the plush fabric of your pillow.

"Good morning," startles you despite its modest nature. You're suffering a great distraction from the fact there was a whole other person in your bed. "How you feelin'?"

"shitty," you mumble. Lifting your head to face their direction and lay back down. Van gazes back, with an added smile. Despite the voice, you were expecting tai.

"You look it," ever the jokester even so early in the morning. You sigh loudly, trying to ignore the pounding in your head.

"Thanks."

"Did you have fun at least?" she asks. "Remember everything?"

"I... think so,"

"tell me," you wonder why they would even care but you don't really have the energy to argue.

"I don't know... I remember jumping on your back and you trying to carry me. Having like a really deep conversation with Lottie about life. Lots of dancing. Nat kept giving me drinks, and I danced with Tai, really a normal party if you were being honest. Your relationship with some of your teammates is evolving, while others you never really said more than a couple words to. The only difference last night was you drank a little too much and Tai was feeling extra touchy, dragging you away from the crowds. It was hazy but... "fuck."

"do you remember what you told me?" her voice but a whisper like you were sharing secrets.

"Where's Tai?" you request.

"On the floor next to you- she told me to take the bed," Van explains. Perhaps the hazy memories of lips against yours weren't simply a manifestation of drunken dreams. You would look if you didn't feel like your head would explode.

"Was it true?" Van wonders. "You kissed?"

"I..." you're not sure what to say. "oh god, I was almost sick all over her."

"gross," Van chuckles quietly. A short pause. That smile fades. "Do you... like her?"

"Who tai?" lazy eyelids flutter closed, tiredness taking hold quickly. "She's one of my best friends, of course I do,"

"I don't mean like that," the bed shifts beside you. Your eyes open and Van is now lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you... okay?" you ask. Stillness fills the room once more, so you assume the conversation is over. You gape at Van in the shadowed light and wonder about Taissa on your bedroom floor. What could she possibly think of you now? That you shoved her away in such a vulnerable moment. Were you supposed to pretend it didn't happen? Would she want to talk about it? Maybe it actually wasn't a big deal at all and you'd all just go back to normal.

"Why did you kiss her?" Van breaks the silence, bringing you down from your spiral. You swallow; throat feeling drier than it already was. Should you even answer? It wasn't even something you were one hundred per cent sure happened, and if it had, was it something you should discuss with Van or anyone else for that matter? It wasn't exactly a very normal situation.

"Van..."

Her head turns to you. "What would you say if I told you I liked you?"

"I'd say you're full of shit," was she really making fun of you right now? That oblivious to how this kinda thing would affect you and Tai.

"Why?" because that would be weird? Because she never takes anything seriously? Because this is only coming up now that you may or may not have shared a kiss with Tai?

"because it's you van and everything that comes out your mouth is a joke." there is no snarky comeback. No joke to be shared. Van shifts again so she is facing you once more; a hand reaches out to cup your cheek. Thumb brushing softly. Your body tenses up in shock and for a few seconds you don't know what to do but you soon relax. The calming motion is a nice contrast to your hangover.

"kissing doesn't mean anything," you advise her. Trying to justify your actions. Trying to make this situation less awkward. Tai was your best friend so was Van. There was nothing more to it.

"right," you can tell she isn't convinced. It's in the soft reflection of her eyes. , Butterflies that now flutter violently in your stomach. The heat now most evident in your cheeks. It means nothing... right? Right. Before you can convince yourself it's a bad idea, your lips collide with Van's in the briefest of embraces. Over before it really began. The look on their face is one of astonishment; even in the dim light, you can see the flush of red cheeks. It makes you smile.

"see no big deal," you affirm before hastily adding. "what time is it?"

"uh..." a degree of hesitation before van rolls over to check the clock. "almost six."

"Great," when her eyes meet yours once more, you turn away. Moving so you're lying on your back. "Let's go back to sleep." Glow-in-the-dark stars decorate the ceiling; remnants of your younger days. The thumping in your skull is now joined by the loud beating of your heart. Your eyes close and you try to ignore the feeling of her stare.

As much as it pains you to admit it, Van was right. You hadn't realised just how much you have missed being behind an actual camera. The world may have moved on to smartphones but there was just something so special about being able to hold a camcorder in your hand. It takes you back to being a teenager. That warm, carefree feeling in your chest. The ability to capture the interesting amongst the mundane. It had taken you a few tries to get used to all the new settings but for the most part, it was exactly the same. Much to Van's dismay, you have reverted back to wanting to record pretty much anything and everything. You can tell she finds it annoying sometimes. Often a groan when you zoom in on her face or a hand blocking your shot. But no matter what, she does not dare say to stop. More often than not she laughs. Sparing your feelings. Protecting your dreams. If you genuinely thought she hated it, you would stop, but they insist they're fine. Even encourages it.

With your now trusty camera in hand, the bell jingles as you step into the store expecting to find your girlfriend standing behind the counter or at least on the shop floor, but alas the place is empty. You don't close for hours, but maybe she was simply taking the day? You think nothing of it, "hey babe-" yelled out as you headed upstairs to the apartment. "They're showing a bunch of old films over at Apollo- I'm talking like classic black and whites," you describe excitedly. This kind of thing was perfect for the two of you. An excuse to get out of the house, but it was low pressure. Also, you'll take any excuse to go watch a film on the big screen, especially old ones that you weren't around for. Van appreciated it too. Always had. "We should go," you find the red-head in the kitchen, a glass of water in hand, looking like she'd seen a ghost or something.

"Hi," you jump at the voice, turning to find a familiar face staring back and your stomach drops. The last person you ever expected to see. Even after so many years, there was no mistaking those eyes anywhere. All polite smiles and tight curls. taissa fucking turner. You glance at Van who can't take her eyes off the other woman, as if a spared glance towards you would somehow make Taissa disappear.

"hey," you eventually say when you become so aware of your lack of response. But even such a simple word sounds awkward slipping past your lips. Was this real? Was she actually sitting on your couch right now?

"a black and white movie marathon sounds perfect for you two," and that sinking feeling threatens to swallow you whole. You feel like you could throw up. Like you wanna throw something at her. Like you wanna wrap her up in your arms and never let go again. It was all so confusing. So messy. She doesn't get to just show up like this and act like she still knows everything about you. About van. It's almost instinctive to move closer to the redhead. Seizing the glass of water she was simply just holding and placing it down on the counter; not without taking a sip first. A reassuring hand on her back brings her down into the space. Grounding her in reality rather than the dreams of twenty-five years ago that were threatening to drag you both under. Now she finally looks at you. The mirror of your own confusion; your reluctance.

"What do you want, Taissa?" you inquire, running your hand up and down the other woman's back. It was as much for van's sake as it was for you. The only reason Tai would randomly show up on your doorstep was if she wanted something. A favour, perhaps? Your souls? Who knows at this point? It was clear Taissa wasn't expecting such a cautious approach to her return. Her expression was one of undisguised perplexity.

"I- I figured we could talk,"

"About what? We have nothing to say to you," you shoot back.

"Please just... hear me out," you're about to answer back. Roughly shut her down before she can give some pathetic speech to explain her absence for so many years. But all is interrupted by Van grabbing your arm and removing it from her back. Hand snaking down your forearm to lock your hands in a too-tight grip. Your eyes flicker to her. Searching for an explanation, but they just nod a little. You want to argue against this but you don't. You respect her wishes. Van always had a soft spot for Tai. Maybe you did too. You squeeze her hand and she relaxes. At the very least you were there to keep each other grounded and you wouldn't have it any other way. And with a very deep inhale, you guide the way towards the couch.

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/10✨

I'll be streaming on my Twitch page TOMORROW at 1PM ET!

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK have a power neither Wukong nor Macaque have ?

Probably something that is a mix of each parent power, creating something new. Like- He can hear the past, but can also use his gold vision. SO maybe he learns not only to hear to past, but also see it (but maybe instead of being gold the vision is purple)

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have nightmares about LBD or Azures death or something? @the-ninja-girl-in-blue ha chiesto: I swear for some reason, even after returning back to his normal age, I still can’t help but picture MK having a nightmare in the middle of the night and just starts chirping in his sleep because of it and that ends up getting the attention of his two monkey dads. I can’t help but picture them either waking him up and asking him about the nightmare into his bed to cuddle with him to hopefully calm him down. I also kind of like the idea of them offering to let him stay in their bed with them for the night. basically, I just wanna see them comforting MK after he has a nightmare. For some reason, I could see the nightmare being about either LBD or about the ending of season five when he attempts suicide.

Yes he does have nightmares about that. He usually does, most times he's at Pigsy's, and Freenoodle is there to help him. He hasn't had a LBD nightmare at FFM yet, but even as an adult he would totally chirp without noticing it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Angst idea what if heaven was scared of MK being the "harbinger of chaos" and took him away as a baby locking him away instead. It's up to you if wukong knew of his existence before he was taken. Eventually someone or something releases him. MK Finds out why he was locked away and just goes on a rampage through heaven bonus angst wukong has to stop him

Do heaven even knew he was the harbinger of chaos? Like seriously I don't remember if it was ever stated in the show. Honestly is crazy no one picked up that kid aurea. Makes you wonder who te fuck put such a powerful glamour on him when he was found by Pigsy.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi :D i wanted to say that i LOOOVE the bioparents au, it's so lovely 💖 and, i must ask, will we get more cliché scenes with our little monkeys? like accidental fall or something on this lines? i need my clichés back 😭😭

eeehhhhh maybe? I'm not too much of a fan of clichè I'll be honest, mostly bc I see them around all the time and I prefer to do something new.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be funny if MK started subconsciously mimicking things from his friends and family. little things like putting his shoes the same way Teng does. Standing in the same posture as Mei. Ext. Monkeys often will mimic each other as a sign of fondness and affection. Monkey see monkey do.

I think he already does that in the show with Wukong sometimes! It's super cute!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Okay hear me out, since mk kinda saw their past and everything. Does mk possibly have small abandonment issues (not that he doesn’t already) and does he hear little moments in the past of macaque and Wukong’s pain. By the way I absolutely love your art!!! I check your page everyday. 💕

I think if he ever said that to Wukong he'll make sure that every.single.day. he reminds him that he'll never leave his side.

@tinyplanetss ha chiesto: regarding the latest biodads update, did wukong ever know that macaque panicked and lashed out way back then due to seeing his "betrayal" in his future vision? i can't imagine it would've come up before he mentioned it to mk, unless they had a talk about it after their rooftop apology.....

I think they talked about it during the night Wukong apologized to Macaque. The comic I did stops after a certain point but they talked all night about what happened.

Anonimo ha chiesto: (Macaque on some late night mission): I've got to get back before Wukong realizes I'm not in bed. (Wukong who woke up and had a nightmare): Macaque.. MACAQUE

They can't stand being apart anymore now.

@eerieqloss ha chiesto: Wait I got a question, at the beginning of the Shadowpeach bio parent AU When they found out MK was their son biologically through Nuwa of course. But how did they get to her and ask her? I don't know why this question just randomly appeared in my head

Now that MK "opened the gate" access to other deities is much more easier.

@bottyshaker-900o ha chiesto: Wait! Does MK know they sleep together now!?

He did 2+2.

@youroriku ha chiesto: If MK monkey form is showing more or will there be a comic where he lost Control over it ?Recently, fewer people talk about it. Btw i love your art ❤️🌸🫶

mmm... Maybe not in my current timeline. Maybe more in the future. I don't think MK himself wants to loose control again like with Azure

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hii love your art! Wouldn't it be funny if someone was trying to have a serious conversation with Wukong and Macaque and baby MK is just climbing all over their shoulders and they're completely unfaced by it cuz it's like 'yeah this is normal just let him play' but whoever they're talking with can't focus on anything but MK's shinanigans.

hehehe baby shenanigans my beloved

Anonimo ha chiesto: I'll admit I'm more into the chubby, dad bod gang for Wukong but the way you draw buff wukong also makes me happy too! ^-^

Thank you!

@ketsuruithekiller ha chiesto: I like to suffer. So I would like to know if Wukong still has thoughts of guilt. If he fully accepted Mk's decision not to be his successor, without having the idea that like others he would hate it and leave at some point.

ye he does sometimes have the paranoia. But MK is there also to remind him that he'll always be in his life.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are Wukong and Macaque, in your bio parents au, back together? Or is it a situationship? I'm sorry if it's already been stated in the story or if you've already answered something like this. I'm just a brain-dead potato who loves your comic.

Nah they still are in the progress of having to forgive each other but they are very much in a situationship.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Ello Ello, do you think any of the three monkeys would know how to take care of a sick person? Or would they just have to go to sandy or pigsy or someone?

I think yes. Canonically by JTTW, Wukong is an expert in many fields, including medicine. But I do wonder if sometimes he forget after so many years of reclusion that people can get sick.

Anonimo ha chiesto: So Wukong was stuck in the memory of MK sacrificing himself ? Was it identical to the scene in season 5 or was his dream different ? Poor Wukong looked so traumatized

It was the same as S5

Anonimo ha chiesto: I love, LOVE your bio au! I enjoy a lot!!!! Question! Wukong and Macaque have any chance to go to a date?

mmm maybe in the future

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know Is not the case but At some point, hasn't Pigsy felt a little jealous or strange of how MK goes directly to Wukong or Macacke when he has a problem?

I think Freenoodle is taking the opportunity of having the second set of parents to annoy the heck out of them and redirect all the akward questions and advices the kid ask them because "we had to do it for 21 years now you get to have the annoying part of parenting as well"

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto: Hello!! I absolutely love your art and I am currently watching your twitch (Which I can't log into and type in chat for some reason😭) but anyways. I also have a question if you ship Mei with anyone? Like a side character or Spindrax or someone else or if you make her Aroace or just don't generally ship her or smth! :) But besides that I love your art style and the way you draw everything!! Thank you for drawing this stuff and feeding my LMK hyperfixation!!

I do also ship Dragon fruit. Just in my comic I kind of had to choose one ship for now.

wolfsonic ha chiesto: Since we know WuKong is the bottom of ShadowPeach. Who's the bottom in SpiceyNoodles?

MMMMMMMMM TOO SOON TO SAY.

@draxeanlxia ha chiesto: Bio!Parents AU question, who does the laundry and who’s not allowed to touch the laundry because he’ll ruin your clothes without meaning to? For me, I think Wukong would be the one doing laundry while Macaque isn’t allowed near the washing machine. But that’s just me, what’s yours?

yeah seems fitting!

Anonimo ha chiesto: If MK started blushing when he saw Red Son in his true form I wonder how he would react to seeing Red Son shirtless with muscles and abs in that form XD

I headcanon MK as demisexual so probably he would notice and appreciate the aesthetic attraction but wouldn't be TOO flustered. In this case, it's RedSon who's the Wukong of the two of them (being flustered by like, seeing 2% of MK back or smt.)

Anonimo ha chiesto: So I wondered if Xiaotian's powers were like Steven's, since they responded to his emotions

yep.

Anonimo ha chiesto: If they decide to have a baby who will be pregnant macaque or wukong!?

I think I said it already once but I don't think that's how baby Stone Monkeys are born??? Like how would carry a stone inside your body work that's the thing. There's is to say they are demons who knows how they work honestly.

Anonimo ha chiesto:Will the calabash return ?

nope

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does Mei have a true form? Doesn’t seem fair that MK and Red Son have super forms and Mei doesn’t. I think she should be able to be a straight up dragon.

Doesn't she already goes straight up dragon in the show?

@phantom-premeir ha chiesto: Okay this is a pretty dumb question but I gotta know, out of the monkey trio whose the biggest crash out,just an absolute mess of a person?

I think Wukong

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are we gonna see a wedding of these gay monkeys?

Who knows.

@azureandcrimson ha chiesto:Oh my gosh, the new chapter is amazing, now we defiantly know Macaque has probably courtnapped Wukong >:3 I also have another question! Perhaps in the future will Macaques sacrifice be brought up? Like, yeah, he came back. But the guy was gone for days and who knows what he saw in there and/or what memories he saw because he was probably stuck in those for days. But just wondering if you might bring that up in the future? :) Make sure to take breaks, drink water and eat something!! >:(

Oh yeah that ahah. Maybe?

Anonimo ha chiesto: Imagine MK's sacrifice in season 5 would happen AFTER Macaque and Wukong found out that he is their son. This would make it even more heartbreaking

Bruh... Xiaotian wouldn't have been able to move an inch again from Wukong after he came back.

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Wait... Is Wukong going to have to find a new successor now that MK won't be it?

Maybe what he will look for wont be a successor.... but an heir.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Is the monkey's tail sensitive or smt!? I mean what will happen if u pull it ?

We r getting into NSFW territory here...

Anonimo ha chiesto:who do u think is the fluffiest monkey? Also what happens if said monkey got towel dried and poofed up?

MK, becasue he's a cub by stone monkey standard. He would become a fur ball.

arrow-artzz ha chiesto: Hello! I just wanna say, I love your art style and this whole ShadowPeach parent au ur making and I get so hyped and excited when I see a new part/ep come out!! I hope ur having fun with it and keep up the great work, you do a fantastic job, and you also inspire me to keep trying small art projects at home!! I truly hope you’re having a wonderful night, after noon or night! also think it would be cute if the whole gang did a movie night (Halloween movie) at FFM and one scene comes up and macaque used Wukong as a shield as if the movie was real :3 sorry this was long I tap a lot “^^

I think Wukong would be the one scared. Macaque is literally has sleep paralysis monsters has pets

[saerins]

°୨୧ MORAL OF THE STORY

+ sae x f!reader | wc 2k | content: both of them are just kinda selfish in their own ways, angst, mentions of alcohol

notes: haha hi guys …. i’m totally not in love with sae . totallyyyyyy … ( kidding i need help sos ) (∘⁼̴⃙̀˘︷˘⁼̴⃙́∘)

summary: you and sae have been in love with each other since high school. during your special day, he throws you a curveball.

everything’s in full swing.

dinner is ongoing, the meat station being particularly popular, as you expected. all your old friends from different schools are mingling along so well, just like you imagined they would. everyone’s excited for the big day tomorrow, and so are you.

as you watch everything unfolding from the balcony, you can’t help but smile. one step closer to tomorrow, one step closer to forever.

unlike everyone else, you abstain from drinking yourself silly. they can afford to be hungover tomorrow, but not you. won’t be good to see the bride throw up all over her wedding dress.

“you look pretty like this.”

turning around at the man who has your full attention, you smirk. “just like this, itoshi sae?”

there’s a pink flush on his cheeks and you have a hard time gathering whether it’s from your words or the liquor. sae’s only a little tipsy—not enough to consider him drunk. but he chuckles though, and it has your heart beating faster; he still has the same hold over you like he did way back then.

nothing much has changed since you first knew him. he’d always been special to you, and you, to him.

“all the time,” he corrects himself, both elbows leaning on the railing, looking at the sea view before the two of you.

giggling, you mirror his position, bare arm brushing the sleeves of his expensive suit. “i’m sure you know i feel the same,” you tease him back.

sae laughs a little harder, and it’s refreshing to see his usual stoic expression turn soft. “of course i know,” he says before turning to look you in the eyes, those teal tones forever magic when they stare at you. “i’ve known since you started having that crush on me back in high school.”

you groan, covering your face. “see, i knew you’d bring that up!” you complain, embarrassed. it’s kind of humiliating whenever he brings that up—it’s his worst blackmail material. “shush—i don’t want anyone to know. no mentioning it in any toasts or anything, okay?” your cheeks are heating up by now, and you have to pout.

the man beside you only continues laughing, both of you enjoying just existing in the moment, and even though he doesn’t say anything, you know he won’t say shit about that. because he always listens to you.

everyone else is still inside, preoccupied by the games hosted by the emcee.

“hey, y/n?” sae speaks up as your laughter drowns out.

you turn to him, narrowing your gaze and smiling, wondering what to expect from him—as you always are, because sae’s good at surprising you and you love that. “yes, mr itoshi sae?”

there’s a small pause as he swallows the lump in his throat, his eyes still gazing at you, from your hair to your nose to your chin and back at your eyes. “i’m in love with you.”

at that moment, time stands still and there’s a ringing drowning your ears, a silence swallowing you whole. it has you doubting whether it’s really him in front of you, saying the words you’d always wanted to hear from him.

“what—”

“i love you, y/n.”

and by all means, it should’ve been a happy occasion. you’ve dreamt of this moment happening over and over and over again. back then, you envisioned something different.

you and sae, twenty-three, finding out where your life paths are going, converging together and deciding to fuck what everyone thinks and go for it anyway. you and sae, twenty-four and making it past the one-year mark and defying everyone else’s expectations (including your own). twenty-five and thinking why neither of you thought to try sooner. twenty-six and knowing you’re set for the rest of your life.

that’s how it was supposed to be.

but at eighteen, sae had left without a word after your confession, a selfish choice. at nineteen, your friendship was reduced to one-sided texts while sae was off trying to piece his future. at twenty, you’d given up and let sae turn his full attention to soccer, while you’d hold no grudges and finish your studies. by twenty-two, you’d met someone who always put you first, someone who always knew what to do to make you feel better. someone who’s good for you.

“what are you doing, sae?” you ask him, nostrils flared from all the emotions threatening to spill out of you. it was easy to convince yourself that you no longer felt anything for him when he wasn’t here to tempt you, wasn’t here to taunt you for giving up. but since he’s been back for the past year, it proves to be difficult to suppress all the old feelings you’d tucked away.

sae takes his time to answer, because he doesn’t know either. he doesn’t fucking know why he’s only telling you this now, when he’s felt this way since you were both sixteen. when you’re both ten years older and living very different lives. when you’re about to marry someone else that isn’t him and it’s driving him crazy.

“i don’t know,” he answers honestly, suddenly realising the gravity of what he did and looking away ashamed. “i just… i love you. ever since we were younger, i- i’ve always felt the same.”

he did, and he still loves you. he was stupid when he was younger. he left and made stupid decisions like not even trying to talk to you because he didn’t know what the fuck he should do and now no excuse would be good enough to convince you to choose him. there’s no reason for you to. you’re about to marry someone who’s so obviously in love with you. someone who shows you off everywhere, someone who treats you the way sae wish he did since all those years ago.

what is he even doing? he doesn’t even know.

whenever he thought about how you’d react if he ever told you those words, he didn’t think you’d be like this; silent, tears flowing out your eyes, the cold creeping up your cheeks and bare arms and making you shiver.

“i wish…” you pause, looking him in the eyes. “i wish you’d said that before it was too late.”

he’d seen that coming. of course there wouldn’t be anything different to this story, not even with his confession. except, maybe, the nostalgia of getting a chance to say everything he never did, to the girl who always deserved it the most.

despite every single part of him that is screaming at him that whatever he’s thinking about is wrong, that people shouldn’t do this to the bride the night before the wedding, that little volume of alcohol inside him provides all the rush he needs. a swift sweep of the surrounding scenery is all he needs to know nobody’s watching, and before either of you really know it, sae’s lips are on yours and you’re so conflicted it’s criminal.

of course, you’re the one who pulls away—but there’s never disdain in your eyes when you look at him. a mercy he shouldn’t be able to afford but he does, only because you’re a saint compared to him.

it’s selfish; he’d always loved you, always wanted you, always never knew what to do with himself but now he’s dragged you down this rabbit hole and the aftermath isn’t particularly sweet. you’re sweet, though, the taste of cake that lingered on your tongue.

“i’m sorry,” he settles for, and the perplexed expression behind your eyes just serve to make him hate himself for this. he should.

you clear your throat, sniffling down your emotions before straightening yourself up and offering him a smile—one laced with ten years of melancholy and a lifetime of sae’s regrets.

“i’m sorry too,” you tell him, and part of you doesn’t know what you’re apologising for. is it because he realised his feelings too late and doesn’t stand a chance right now? is it because you’re consoling him for his loss? or is it because you’re thinking that if he had done this even just a few weeks earlier, maybe you would’ve changed your mind? that’s something to be sorry to your fiancé at the time for, right?

there’s a dull ache in your heart that’ll be hard to extinguish. it’s a sorry state to be in especially when tomorrow should be one of the biggest days of your life, but you’ll manage, just like you always have. the little girl inside of you is happy, even if just a little, even if this situation is a little questionable. but the boy she’s loved her whole life finally has the guts to say that he feels the same way.

all too little too late; now he’s just the lingering feelings of what should’ve been that you need to say goodbye to no matter how much your selfishness never wants to let go.

taking a step back, you purse your lips into a thin smile and reach your hand out. sae shakes it, the sad deformation of your friendship turning into plain formalities. “thank you,” you say, trying your best not to let any more of the pain show, “for everything.”

for being the first person you ever really considered a friend. for being the first person who always protected you from the storms. for being the guy who became most of your firsts. for loving you too, this whole time. there’s a lot you want to thank itoshi sae for—but where you’re about to go, the phase of life that you’re going to enter, it’ll know no peace if you allow sae in it.

this might be one of the last few times you ever speak to the love of your life.

sae chuckles weakly, the strength in his grip fading. “i should be the one telling you that.” you were an integral part of his youth after all. you’re the only one for him, and that’s all that has to be said. only person outside of family he truly cares for. only person he’d ever give his heart to. only person that can demand anything of him and he’ll follow through. only person that can possibly ruin him.

only person that he wonders what it’d feel like if he ever heard you say it back.

but he knows he’ll never get it.

“maybe… in another life,” and a small smile is all you can offer before you have to pull away, the tenderness with which sae holds you rivaling that of your fiancée’s.

in another life, he’ll definitely find you. he’ll find you and keep you and make sure he isn’t as stupid as he was back then.

but as he lets your fingers slip through his hand, as he watches you retreat to your future husband—he knows that this life is what matters now, and this life is where he’ll never be happy. and as the groom slowly looks away from you, to sae, and nods like he now knows yet does nothing about it, sae hates him even more.

he’s perfect for you. with you. both of you seem like you’re cut from the same cloth. everything sae could probably never measure up to.

so he gets ready. gets ready to go back and have an early night. gets ready to watch you vow yourself away to another man right in front of his face. gets ready to sideline himself and say goodbye to the one person he ever loved.

on your wedding day, that’s when the two of you see the last of each other; the remnants of your friendship being kept in the form of a photo in your form—groom on one side, sae on the other. even years after the fact, even when your phone’s been changed twice, thrice, how many ever times—it’s still there, stagnant in your album, never discarded.

on another side of the world, the same happens with sae. it’s there, as though it’s engraved in the album, favourited and kept hidden. petty as it is, the version of the picture in sae’s phone has your husband cropped out.

through all these years, sae keeps staring at it whenever he thinks of you, wondering what could’ve been.

[fictionandescapism]

Reasons why TUA S4 is not canon to me

(spoilers obviously)

You're telling me that Lila held on to her resentment for so long in her marriage without saying a word?? She would have told Diego a long long time ago about the behaviour that was bothering her.

She does make fun of him sure, but never in front of people and she definitely doesn't allow other people to make fun of him ( remember when she called Ben a shitty little squid because he was mean to her boyfriend) so honestly what was up with all those fat jokes???

I've seen other people mention this too but like despite having three children, it really seemed like they only cared about Grace, I never even knew they had twins till it was actually mentioned on screen.

The five and Lila thing was just so weird??? Like I get the whole only people on the planet thing but honestly there was zero romantic chemistry between them ever and now suddenly because they're alone, they're hooking up?? Not to mention, later five acts like he's in love with her??? Like what was that??? He was literally acting like a lovestruck teenager which he never did even when he was stuck in an actual teenage hormonal body.

Again this has been mentioned before by other fans but like five's deal has always been about protecting his family and now he's just chill with leaving them behind and starting a life with Lila?? He's always butted heads with Diego but there was never a doubt that he genuinely cared about him like he cared about all his siblings and now he's ready to fight him over a girl??? You're telling me that makes sense?

Not to mention neither of them looked particularly remorseful about what they had done. Even towards the end, none of this actually got resolved, the insane love triangle still existed, at some point it felt like Lila was never in love with her husband at all, Diego never actually said goodbye to his kids, Claire and Allison were the only ones who got some kind of closure, Klaus was on bizzare side quests the entire time, the whole plot of luther and Diego finding out the CIA boss was involved also kind of didn't really matter in the end?? Like it was some half ass attempt to make them relevant to the plot, even him deciding that he would rather spend time with his kids didn't matter because he lost them like idk three hours later? Don't even get me started on the numerous glaring plot holes in that ending because I wouldn't even know where to begin.

TUA S4 was truly character assassination at it's finest.

[justmystyles]

I need some angst with happy ending please. Am a sucker for angst and jelly harry or yn

Veiled Insecurities

read my other work here!

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: Harry has some insecurities about your relationship, but instead of talking to you about them, they end up coming out in the wrong way.

warnings: a couple of curse words, but other than that, it's tame.

a/n: thank you so much for this ask! i don't know where this idea came from, but it was a lot of fun to work through. including yelling at myself for an entire commute home trying to work out dialogue. my apologies to anyone that happened to be stuck in traffic next to me on the highway friday night. 😂

tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

The air in the car was thick with tension as you kept your eyes locked on the passing scenery, refusing to give Harry the satisfaction of glancing over at him. Neither of you had spoken a word, you were waiting for an apology. You had no idea what he could possibly be waiting for. 

Harry pulled the car into the driveway, and you hopped out before he even had a chance to put it in park, slamming the door behind you.

“You didn’t let me get your door,” he commented as you made your way to the house. 

You turned to him, rage burning in your eyes. “You haven’t been a gentleman all day. Why start now?” 

He winces slightly at the heart wrenching combination of your words, and the disdain they were spoken with. 

Today was the day of your company picnic, and Harry was actually going to be in town and was excited to go with you. He had heard so many stories about your job, and your coworkers, that he was looking forward to putting faces to all the names. One face in particular changed all of that. 

The department you worked in was small, only about five or six coworkers and your boss. While you all worked closely together, your job was particularly intertwined with your coworker, Roger. You had told Harry about Roger before, his existence wasn’t a surprise to him. What was a surprise were his good looks, and how close the two of you were.

He had heard the term ‘work husband’ before, but he had never heard it more than he did at that picnic, and everyone that used it had been referring to you and Roger. He knew it was a platonic thing, that it didn’t mean anything, and he was glad that you had a support system at work. But that combined with the slight touches throughout the day had Harry seeing red. 

You had noticed a shift in Harry shortly after Roger’s arrival, and it just kept getting worse, coming to a crescendo after you and Roger won the three legged race. You were so embarrassed by his behavior that you made some excuse about your limited time with Harry and left early. Much earlier than you had wanted. 

Harry knew you well enough to know you were upset, so he didn’t say anything on the ride home. He knew you’d want to collect your thoughts before talking, he would let you start the conversation. And you decided to do so as soon as you were in the house.

“What the actual fuck, Harry?” You spat, finally meeting his gaze. 

“Princ-”

“No,” you interrupted. “No pet names.”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh. “Y/N, I think you’re overreacting.” 

Your eyes went wide. “Are you kidding? I’ve never seen you so rude before!”

“Only to him,” Harry mumbled. “I was fine with everyone else.” 

“And there it is!” You throw your hands out in frustration. “Please tell me what is so wrong about my closest work friend.”

“Don’t you mean your work husband?” He snapped back.

“Oh my god, Harry. Seriously? You have like four work husbands!” 

“Maybe,” he started. “But they aren’t all over me like he was with you!”

Your eyes went wide at his accusation. “No shit, because you’re all over them!” You run your hand down your face, trying to keep your composure. “Harry, you are the most physically affectionate person I have ever met, it’s one of the things I love about you. It also makes it incredibly hypocritical of you to have an issue with other people doing it on a significantly smaller scale.”

“But you’re my girlfriend, I didn’t like seeing another man’s hands on you.” 

You stared at him in disbelief. “Who are you? This is not you. You’re not possessive like this.” 

“I thought you liked when I was possessive of you?” He asked with an arched brow, trying to diffuse the situation. 

“When we’re alone, and in the heat of the moment? Absolutely. But when you’re like that around other people, you come off as a toxic asshole.” A quick flicker of sadness flashed across your face. You hoped Harry didn’t notice. “Roger was excited to meet you, he’s heard so much about you.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “Because I love you and I talk about you all the time.” 

“Okay, well I just don’t think it’s very professional for him to be so flirty with you.” Harry shrugged. 

You buried your face in your hands and took a deep breath. “You want to talk about professionalism? Part of your job is literally your sex appeal. You have women throwing themselves at you on a regular basis. You’re basically one step above stripper the way you dress and dance around on stage.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but you held up your hand as you continued on. “Every fan hug that lingers a little longer than it should, every girl that calls you daddy, or tries to shoot their shot with you at a show, every bra thrown in your face; I take it all in stride and I don’t let it get to me. Do you want to know why? Because I love you, and I trust you completely. I know you would never do anything. It absolutely breaks my heart that you think so little of me and my commitment to you that you don’t extend me the same courtesy.” Before he could fully process your words, you turned your back to him and stormed away, slamming the door to your bedroom shut. 

The tears had barely begun to fall before Harry was knocking on the door. “Y/N?”

“Go away, Harry.” You couldn’t help the waiver in your voice. 

You prayed that Harry didn’t hear it, but he did. And it felt as though his heart had shattered, he had made you cry. He had made you cry, and you were trying to hide it from him. He knew that you would often mask your pain as anger, not wanting to give people the satisfaction of seeing your tears. Because of his actions, you had put up a wall with him. You didn’t want to be vulnerable, and it was his own fault. He couldn’t blame you, this whole thing had blown so far out of proportion and he needed to make it right. 

He opened the bedroom door and entered slowly. You were sitting on the side of the bed, elbows on knees, you looked over to Harry, and his breath hitched. Your cheeks were already tearstained, your eyes red-rimmed. 

“Y/N,” he said softly, taking a seat beside you and raising his arms. Before he could get them around you, you slid out of his reach. He looked up at you with pain in his eyes. 

“No,” you said sternly. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to comfort me right now. You’re the reason this happened, you don’t get to ride in here on your white horse and hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay.” 

He nodded silently and looked down at the floor. “I do trust you,” Harry finally broke the awkward silence. “This was never about me not trusting you. I know that you love me, and I trust you implicitly.” He turned his head to look at you. “It’s not even about not trusting Roger. I just…” He let out a deep breath. “I saw how close the two of you are, and it reminded me that you have this whole life that I’m just on the outside of because I’m always away.” 

He turned, sitting with his legs crossed on the bed so that he could face you. “I wasn’t jealous because I thought he was going to try something, I was jealous because he gets to see you everyday, because you two have a closeness that I’m afraid you and I can’t have.” 

You finally look up at Harry, the frustration in his eyes now replaced with concern. “Harry,” you turned, mirroring the way he was sitting. “I’m closer to you than I’ve ever been with anyone.” 

“I know, I believe that. And it means the world to me.” He reached out tentatively to take your hand. Letting out a relieved breath when you didn’t pull away. “You’ve been so incredible, you’ve completely thrown yourself into my world. My family loves you, you’re practically a member of the tour staff. I want to be that for you, but I’m never able to be here long enough.” 

“Why haven’t you ever told me this before?” You squeezed his hand gently. 

He lifted your joined hands to his lips. “I guess I never really realized how much it bothered me until today.” 

“Well first of all,” you started. “The tour isn’t going to last forever. It’s going to end, and then you’ll have some time off. I would like to think that you’ll come and spend some of that time with me.” 

“Definitely,” he agreed. “As much as I can.”

“So that’s when you’ll be able to mix in with my life more.” You explained. “We just have to take turns being in each other’s lives. Right now, you’re all over the world, so I have to make a little more of an effort to meet you halfway. When you’re on break, it will be your turn. By the time you go back on the road, or whatever you do next, it will be more of an even playing field. It just seems imbalanced now because we haven’t had time to even it out.” 

“I’m so sorry, angel.” He apologized. “Are we okay?” 

“We’re okay,” you nodded. “But next time, if you’re feeling insecure, just pull me aside and talk to me.” You sat up on your knees, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you, Harry.” 

“I love you too,” he replied, burying his face in your neck. “Princess?” You hummed in reply as you ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Do you really think I’m one step above stripper?” 

You chuckled, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “Maybe two.” 

[sequinsmile-x]

The Sun’s in My Heart, and I’m Ready for Love

Date night, a sudden rain storm, and a cuddle pile on the couch. It's just a typical night in the Hotchner household.

A one shot in my series of unrelated kissing prompts. Prompt: kissing in the rain

-x-

Hi friends,

This is very soft, and sweet, and feels right for a Friday night <3

Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think <3

-x-

Warnings: None

Words: 2.6k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

There were times when Emily found herself wishing that she and Aaron experienced their relationship in the same way, that he hadn’t done all of this before with someone else. She would wish they’d met when they were young, when he worked with her mother and she was looking for something to do whilst she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do. 

The moments were always fleeting. They would flare in her chest when they’d been planning their wedding or when she was pregnant with Violet and then Lucas. Well meaning comments from a doctor who would say ‘dad knows what he’s doing’ when he would point out Violet’s features on the ultrasound screen, or from their friends who would joke about Aaron’s first wedding, that would make her ache briefly, sadness that was too complicated to explain rolling in her gut. 

Most of the time, she loved it. She loved their family and their marriage, and how they never took neither for granted because of all they’d survived to make it here. She knew if their life had been different they wouldn’t be here now. Violet and Lucas may not exist, and Jack certainly wouldn’t, and the thought of that alone would make her nauseous. 

Sometimes she’d feel guilty for how grateful she was that she was Aaron’s second wife, that she benefited from what he’d learnt from his relationship with Haley. He was determined to do it right this time, to make sure he didn’t repeat the mistakes of his past. His enduring love for Haley very much part of his love for Emily, the glue he used to fix the cracks in his heart before he’d allowed himself to think he deserved all of this again. 

Date night was his idea. He’d floated it past her when she was heavily pregnant with Violet, her back and boobs and just about everything aching as she furrowed her brow at him and reminded him they were already married, that he didn’t need to try and woo her anymore. He’d simply smiled and kissed her, and said he would never stop trying to woo her, and suggest they did date night once a month. A few hours where they could just be them, not Mom and Dad, and celebrate and acknowledge their love for each other - the very thing that was the bedrock of their family. It had continued on since then, through the hard and long, but fleeting, early months of Violet’s life and then throughout Emily’s pregnancy with Lucas and his early life too. Now they were almost five years on from Aaron’s initial suggestion and they’d never missed a date night. There were times when they had to re-arrange, if she got a call about a case and had to leave him and the kids behind, but they never cancelled. Never said there’s always next month, because they knew there may not be, that life was unpredictable and hard, and they never wanted to take it or each other for granted. 

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” 

She smiles as she turns to look at him and she squeezes his hand before she looks ahead again, sighing contentedly as she looks down the National Mall, enjoying the view she’d once had in an apartment she’d called home. They’d gone for dinner at their favourite restaurant, and instead of getting straight in their car to go home, they’d decided to go for a short walk. It was almost dark, the sky thick with grey clouds, and the chill in the early fall air made them walk as closely to each other as they could, both of their hands stuffed into the pocket of his coat. 

“I’m more than okay,” she says, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “How much sugar do you think Pen will have given the kids?” 

He laughs and runs his thumb over the heel of her hand, “More than we’d usually allow in a year I’m guessing. She always says she can’t say no to them.” 

She hums and knocks her shoulder against his, “They are very persuasive.” 

“I wonder where they get that from,” he says, his smile soft and full of love, his shoulders relaxed in a way they only ever were around her and the kids. He’d retired when Violet was born, once again keen to undo what he considered the wrongs of his past, and she could see the difference it had made in him. He was happy and relaxed in a way he’d earned, and every day she wondered if she should join him too. She didn’t need to work, not for the money, but she wasn’t ready to step away quite yet and she was grateful she was loved by a man who understood not just her but the job they’d once shared.

She chuckles and playfully shrugs, “It’s a mystery.” She stops them, her free hand reaching for his as she shifts closer to him, leaning in to stamp a kiss against his lips, “Thanks for dinner.” 

He tugs her backwards, makes sure they aren’t in the way of the other people walking the path and he pulls her closer, making a point of kissing her before he rests his forehead against hers, “You paid.”

She shrugs and kisses his cheek and then the corner of his lips, “I used the card for our joint account if that makes you feel better.” 

He smiles, and she cups his cheek, pressing her thumb against his dimple as she tugs him in for a kiss. They lose themselves in it, allowing themselves to simply be a married couple exchanging a kiss they’d shared a thousand times. She licks along the seam of his lips and sighs as he deepens the kiss, the taste of the dessert they’d shared still lingering on his tongue. 

They are both so lost in each other, so wrapped up around each other, that neither one of them hears the crack of thunder above their heads. She pulls back when she feels rain drop onto her head and she looks at him, her eyebrows furrowed. 

“Was it supposed to rai-”

She’s cut off as the heavens open and rain pours on them, drawing surprised laughs from them both as Aaron tightens his hand around hers as they half-run back in the direction they’d come from. 

“Come on, otherwise we’ll get soaked,” he says, making sure they keep pace with each other, both of them slowed down a little by the heels she’d worn and the wet floor. 

“I think that ship has sailed, honey,” she shouts over the roar of the rain, unable to stop herself from laughing, the strange, simple, joy of it outweighing the feeling of her hair sticking to her neck. She stops, her hand pulling at his as he turns to look at her, his brow furrowed, and she pulls him into a kiss, their lips almost slipping past each other as they taste the rain on each other's skin. 

“Em,” he chuckles as he pulls back, “We need to go, we’ll get sick.” 

“I know,” she replies, her fingers slipping against his skin as he grabs his chin to hold him in place for one last second and she leans in to kiss him, “I just wanted to kiss you in the rain.” 

He smiles at her, the same smile he’d passed on to all of their children, and he quickly stamps his lips against hers, “Let’s go home, sweetheart.” 

___

He puts the heat on full blast in the car, his smile soft as he sees Emily place her hands right over the vents to try and warm up her fingers. 

Penelope frowns at them as they step into the house, her head tilted to the side as they close the door behind them, a shiver running through them as the warmth of their home contrasts with the chill of their wet clothes stuck against their skin. 

“Did you swim home?” 

Emily chuckles and grimaces as she takes her jacket off, “We got caught in the rain when we were walking after dinner.”

“Oh,” she says, placing her hands over her heart, “That’s so romantic.” 

“It won’t be if we get a cold,” Aaron quips as he takes Emily’s jacket from her, “How were the kids?” 

“Angels as always,” she replies, “We made cupcakes. Well, Jack and I did. Vi and Luke helped decorate and eat frosting. They are all in bed.” 

Emily hums, barely containing a shiver as she crosses her arms over her chest in an attempt to warm herself up, “And how much frosting did you let my toddlers eat just before bed?” 

Penelope’s eyes go wide, “I plead the fifth.”

Emily chuckles, a sound punctuated by her teeth chattering, and Aaron places his hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you go get changed, sweetheart?” 

She nods and smiles at her friend, her eyebrow raised jokingly “If they don’t sleep, I’m bringing them over to yours to spend the night,” she smiles, “Thanks for looking after them Pen.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, you know I love spending time with the Mini Hotchs.” 

Emily’s too cold to argue with the nickname for once, and she heads upstairs, making sure she’s as quiet as possible as she walks past the kid's bedrooms. She dumps her wet clothes on the floor in the bathroom and changes into a pair of leggings and a sweater that once belonged to Aaron. She’d stolen it from him when she was pregnant, and it had been hers ever since. He wore it occasionally still under her instruction so it still smelt like him, and it made her smile. It was as if bits of him were stitched through the soft material, pressed into the softness of it as it rests against her skin. She throws her hair into a loose ponytail to get it off her neck, and she’s already dreading having to wash it in the morning as she heads back downstairs looking for her husband, her wet clothes in her hands so she can stick them straight in the washer. 

She finds Aaron in the laundry room, changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sweater that hadn’t made it back up to their room yet. She passes him her clothes and smiles as he puts them in the washer alongside his. 

“I’ll put it on in the morning,” he says, his hand looping around her waist, “Otherwise it might wake up-”

“Mommy? Daddy?” 

Emily smiles at the sound of their daughter’s voice, and her excellent timing, and she kisses Aaron quickly before she steps out of the laundry room. 

“Vi,” she says, her smile getting wider when she spots the three, almost four, year old in the hallway, her hair rumpled and her favourite toy dragging on the floor next to her, “We’re right here.” 

“Mama!” She says, running towards her, her arms in the air as she throws herself at her, “Missed you.” 

“I missed you too, baby,” Emily replies, stamping several kisses against her cheek as she lifts her and settles the little girl on her hip, “You should be sleeping though.” 

“Not tired.” 

Aaron walks over and wraps his arm around them both, “Hi princess.” 

“Hi, Daddy.” 

He kisses her forehead, “You should be sleeping.” 

“Not tired.” 

“Not tired.”

Emily and Violet say in unison, their matching dark eyes sparkling with mischief as they smile at him. Emily smiles at him, and he already knows the plan of attack of how to get their daughter back to bed. Ever since she was small she’d insist she wasn’t tired. Even as a baby, she’d fight sleep, her eyes wide as she looked around the room, desperate to be a part of whatever was going on. But as soon as she laid her head against Emily’s chest, as soon as she was snuggled against her mother and was warm and cosy, she’d drift off. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Okay, why don’t we go sit down on the couch for a little while? But we’ll have to be quiet, otherwise we’ll wake up-”

“Mom, Dad,” Jack says, appearing in the hallway, “When did you get home?” 

Emily presses her lips together as Aaron sighs, clearing her throat to hide her amusement, “Not that long ago, sweetie.”

Jack furrows his brows and tilts his head, “Why do you both have wet hair?” 

“We got caught in the rain,” Emily says, stepping towards him and adjusting her hold on Viole so she can wrap an arm around Jack’s shoulders, “We were actually just about to go snuggle on the couch to warm up until Vi gets tired enough to sleep,” she says, winking at her eldest, smiling when he immediately catches on, “Want to join us?” 

He nods, and she’s grateful for it, forever dreading the day he’d no longer think his parents were cool. She never wanted him to grow out of being the little boy who loved hugs and spending time with her, but she knew he had to grow up. She knew that part of the privilege of being his mom was preparing him, and his brother and sister, for going out into the world, but it didn’t make it any easier. 

They are just about to settle onto the couch, blankets thrown over their laps as they snuggle together when they hear a cry from upstairs. 

“‘ucas can’t get down himself, he too little,” Violet says, her eyebrows furrowed as she rests her head against Emily’s chest, her thumb in between her teeth. Jack settles against Emily’s side, his head on her shoulder, and Aaron sighs lovingly, already standing back up even though he’d barely sat down. Both Emily and Aaron were grateful Lucas hadn’t mastered climbing out of his crib yet because they knew their home would descend into even more beautiful chaos the moment the 18-month-old figured out how to. Aaron winks at Emily and he squeezes her thigh, making sure the blankets are wrapped around the three of them before he steps away. 

“I’ll go get him,” he says, “You three stay here and snuggle.”

“We’re good at snuggling, huh?” Emily says, tugging Jack closer and stamping a kiss against Violet’s forehead, unsurprised to find the little girl was already looking sleepy, “Lukey needs to come join us,” she rests her cheek against the top of Violet’s head and looks at her eldest, “Did you have fun with Aunt Pen, honey?” 

Jack nods and smiles, “We baked. And she let me lick the frosting bowl.” 

Emily hums and runs her fingers through his hair, “I bet she did.” 

“Did you and Dad have fun?” 

She smiles, thinking of dinner, the time spent just the two of them already feeling like it was days ago, not just an hour or so, and she nods, “Yeah, it was really fun. We missed you guys though.” 

“We missed you too,” Jack replies, snuggling against her, his cheek warm against her shoulder through the material of her sweater. 

Aaron walks into the room, a wide awake Lucas on his hip, his little head resting against his father’s shoulder. He was a mini Aaron, right down to the tiny dimples in his cheeks, and it made Emily ache, her gut always twisting at the sight of them together as they both smile at her, 

“Room for two more on the Hotchner family cuddle pile?” 

She nods and pulls back the blanket so Aaron can sit down, Jack sandwiched between them, and Violet on her lap and Lucas on his, and she thinks she might prefer this to date night anyway. 

“Always.”  

[dragon-susceptible]

Moonshadow Headcanons

A collection of random headcanons about Moonshadow Forest and its culture, which will be relevant for the Different Path Taken universe.

Moonshadow Forest is dangerous. Runaan talks about this a little bit in Bloodmoon Huntress; it's full of illusions and plays tricks on the mind even at the best of times, and it can be a killer during the Blood Moon for even the most experienced of warriors. Children in Moonshadow Forest go nowhere alone, and are taught from the time they can talk and move around under their own power "Five is company, four is enough, three is a test, two is a risk, and one is a death" in reference to leaving the safety of the village. Only assassins and rangers move outside the village boundaries alone, and even they don't go far on the blood moon, because the illusions get extra aggressive.

That said, the Forest is never quite safe, especially for someone who is struggling with grief. It plays tricks on the mind, shows you want you want to see, draws you into its dangerous depths. Ethari saw Runaan around every corner and heard his voice constantly after his death in canon, and never left the village because he knew it was a trick meant to pull him in. Others have fallen for it and never returned. Moonshadow grief is often focused less on remembering the dead and more on preserving whoever they left behind.

The ritual of ghosting requiring a unanimous vote from the village is not unique. Moonshadow villages are run on democracies, with every able adult casting votes for who to fill various roles. Keeper Lyrennus earned his place as the leading Keeper of the Silvergrove's sacred places, just as Runaan earned his as the leader of the assassins' guild. Guilds are unique in that they are not voted on by villages, but by the people inside the guild. So while both Runaan and Ethari voted on Lyrennus' election, neither Lyrennus nor Ethari had say in Runaan's election as the leader of his guild. Guilds are done like this because they span multiple villages and must coordinate over longer periods of time as a result.

Because of the danger of the Forest and the generally fairly casual view Moonshadow elves have of death, it's a quietly accepted fact that Moonshadow elders sometimes just wander off into the trees alone of their own volition. If they are tired of living, they go into the forest and let the illusions take them, and generally are never found again. They leave behind anything of importance in a shrine for their loved ones. Generally, this is considered a respectable enough choice, as the elf just cannot take this phase of existence anymore, and they have no cultural fear or shame around the concept of death. It is considered a shame (as in, regrettable that it happened) if a younger elf is driven to this mental state, and they do try to help each other through mental struggles that will lead to it. If the support of the community simply isn't enough, there's no shame on the elf who wandered away. Wandering into the woods is a euphemism for death for Moonshadow elves as a result of this.

The Mooncubs is a system the Moonshadow developed to deal with their heavily decimated numbers and new, incredibly dangerous home ground after the Mage Wars drove them to Moonshadow Forest. Prides of Mooncubs are small groups of children (around 3-5 of them) in roughly the same age group, which the adults of the village take responsibility for on rotation. Pride leaders' job is to keep the children safe, primarily, though different leaders may offer them different life lessons too. Pride leaders are separate from teachers though. The children in a Pride tend to be within 5 years of age of each other, but if say, the village has 9 kids of 5-10 years, they'll be separated into a Pride of 4 kids 5 through 7 and 5 kids 8 through 10. Prides are kept deliberately small because a single pride leader is expected to keep track of the entire pride at once. Assassins are often exempt from the rotation of pride leaders because they spend so much time away from their home villages, but they are allowed to volunteer for rotations when they're home, and expected to participate if they have their own children.

Moonshadow elves are said to be largely vegetarian, but their primary mounts are shadowpaws, moonstriders, and gryphons, all of which are carnivorous animals, so either they just let the animals hunt for their own food or they do have some hunting culture to feed those mounts. This may be why they don't seem to keep smaller pets all that much, though.

After the Mage Wars and the war over the Cult of the Blood Moon had decimated their numbers twice over, the Moonshadow invented the concept of marriage as separate from romances. Marriage was initially a contractual deal to partner two compatible elves in order to produce children; they weren't required to stay together after the fact, except in that they were both responsible for the child or children, but it was considered something of an obligation to ensure their people would survive. Because they also prioritize personal choice so much, though, the concept of a Challenge was also brought up, where if an elf's love was contracted to be married, they could challenge their betrothed for their hand. The elf being fought over had to validate the challenge for it to be considered binding, and some effort was made to level the playing field if the challenger or betrothed had significantly more training than the other, and the winner of the challenge was granted the privilege of marrying the elf they were fighting over.

Privileges of the challenge were not granted to gay couples during this time, until the magic that allowed them to produce children was invented by Earthblood elves and made its way into Moonshadow Forest. After that magic was discovered, the Challenge was broadened to everyone, and as tensions cooled with other elves and their available pool of partners broadened, the concept of marriage became just a way to officially recognize mated couples.

In the modern day, Challenge Season (longer post about it here) is largely just a big game, as its purpose is now defunct. It can sometimes be used to make a point about thinking your friend's partner is bad for them, but mostly it's all in good fun. Lethal weapons are now banned, as is using too significant of force; leaving scars is fine, they do have fangs and horns so it's somewhat to be expected, but no permanent or severe damage. It's considered somewhat rude by some to leave horn scars on one's opponent's chest, arms, or face, as those are regions most often scarred by sexual partners who throw their head back too quickly.

Connected to that, Moonshadow elves have a sort of "we all know, we just politely don't talk about it in front of the kids until they get old enough to figure it out" mentality towards some minor exhibitionism in the form of visible marks and some noises. It's considered more eyebrow-raising if neither of a couple have any scars from horns or fangs somewhere visible, because it tends to indicate either they're Incredibly Soft with each other or they're immobilizing each other (through pinning or ropes) as a kink.

Women tend to have more slender horns than men, which led to their horn cuffs in marriage being more like armored plates as we see with Tiadrin. This is also largely just a personal choice now, though longer cuffs that cover more of the horn have a remnant of a "feminine" connotation. Ethari's cuffs are more typical of a masculine fashion despite being more intricate, because Runaan's are longer. Lain's were similar.

Moonshadow elves also still practice duels. They value preservation of their people too much to allow duels to the death, but if two Moonshadow are having too deep a disagreement and they are too heated to solve it with words, they are allowed to challenge each other to fight it out. It often just leads to them shouting while they fight and eventually burning themselves out enough to actually discuss their problems like civil adults, since the same rules apply to duels as to challenge season - no permanent damage, no deaths.

The leaping up into the air to come down on an opponent trick that Runaan, Rayla, and Skor do is a highly traditional form of Moonshadow combat, which is reminiscent of the style they used when they lived in the mountains near the Moon Nexus. It was far more practical back then, when they could often just drop from a higher ledge like mountain lions. Because of their cliffside origins and habit of climbing anything that looks vaguely climbable, they're also very hardy when it comes to blunt force impact, and often don't take as much damage from falls as humans do. Their horns work as shock absorbers when they strike them against things, as well.

Coming of age ceremonies are done when the adults in an elfling's life have judged that their horns have reached their adult stage. Horns continue to grow throughout a creature's life, but elflings have dull nubs that sharpen with age. When they are sharp enough to cut, they are "fully grown", so to speak, though their angle can still be adjusted somewhat with metal caps if they grow too far directly backward and become unwieldy. At this age, the elfling's parents wash their hair and stain their horns with a faint color (Runaan's and Rayla's are stained pink, but Ethari's are purple, and Lujanne and Andromeda's are blue), and the wood grain stripes we see on most of the adults. Children will sometimes draw stripes on too, for special occasions, but the staining is a ritual using the same henna as their tattoos and lasts much longer. What color their horns are stained with does not really mean anything in particular, though it often runs in families with children choosing a color that reflects someone they admire. (Runaan came to terms with being Rayla's father because she didn't even think to ask about Lain filling the role at her coming of age, she just came straight to him and never mentioned her birth parents)

Hollow Wood is one of the more open villages in Moonshadow Forest and has a handful of elves living in it who are not Moonshadow, often partners or children of Moonshadow elves. It's where Ethari is from; his mother was a Sunfire weaponsmith, who met his father, a Moonshadow jeweller, at Moonshadow Market on the edge of the forest. The Silvergrove is shrouded more than the other villages because it was explicitly established as a base of operations for assassins, and simply grew later to include their families and eventually a community beyond them. They generally do not have outsiders in the Silvergrove. However, their tenets of loyalty are so strong that if one does enter, as Callum does, without setting off any magical defenses, it's safe to assume they have earned the trust of a local, which means they are also safe to be around. That's why no one batted an eye at Callum taking Ethari's rotation with the Mooncubs.

Edit to add: Moonshadow Market is a bazaar/outdoor market with stands that is posted on the edge of the forest, and is the primary location of trade with other types of elves in Xadia, because most avoid Moonshadow Forest and the illusions get more dangerous the deeper in you go. It remains behind the treeline, in the forest, but there are clearly marked, roped off paths to get to it and indicate its boundaries. Guests are generally advised not to duck under or go over the ropes into the actual forest, but Moonshadow elves do it with impunity because they live there, and the illusions on the edge of the forest are like shitty AI images to them compared to the more convincing/dangerous ones further within.

might add more later, just wanted these consolidated in text.

[violetjedisylveon]

Older gay monkeys*

*i know one of them is an ape

Tongbei Yuanhou(left) and Chikao Mahou(right) are the first celestial primates.

They are much older than Wukong and Macaque. And they're just a gay but much healthier about it.

When the pillar of creation first broke, all the chaos that flooded into the realm needed to go somewhere so boom, you got a gibbon made from the waters flooding the realm and a mandrill made from fires. They literally popped into the end of the world and had to deal with that on their first day of existing.

They are much less problematic than their youngers, they're still nuisances, but they aren't nearly as destructive about it. And they have more useful powers.

Mahou did a lot of work in the underworld cause they're powers are basically being socially aware and a good judge of people. And not dying.

Has knowledge of yin and yang, Understands human affairs, Is adept in its daily life And able to avoid death and lengthen its life.

Yuanhou did work in the celestial realm as basically a glorified moving man, he just moved shit around.

Seize the sun and the moon, Shorten a thousand mountains, Distinguish the auspicious from the inauspicious, And manipulate planets and stars

They knew each other before they started their respective jobs because they came into existence the same day and immediately clocked that they're a pair. Somewhere along the line they found themselves in a romantic relationship don't ask them how, neither of them know.

They are on good terms with most people, mostly because they aren't nearly as annoying as their disaster gay youngers, and they like to hang with Buddha cause they don't got much to do that often, their nominal bosses would like to have a word about that but never get their attention long enough.

Buddha sent them to oversee Macaque after his fight with Wukong during the journey, they were basically his parole officers guiding him away from revenge and towards self improvement. Cause they ship the disaster monkeys and need them to talk shit out. It worked and they get a niece out it.

They've been chilling since they let their kids take over their duties, their kids are better at it than they are anyway(cause they actually do it). And now they spend their time hanging with their buds, making Mount Everest taller, and watching their favorite gay monkeys be not disasters and functional for once. (they'll be back to disaster gay status soon enough)

They show up in chapter 13 of Little Star, and I finally got character art done before the chapter they first appear in.

I based Mahou's design on a mandrill even though most of what I've seen is him as a baboon, because mandrills have brighter colored face masks in the references I was looking through. Yuanhou's mask is an upside down five points star because of his whole moving celestial bodies thing.

Yuanhou is also the only one who is not a monkey, he's an ape and therefore the reason why they are celestial primates and not just celestial monkeys.

Cracked Family AU Masterpost

[the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf]

You're waiting for a train...(16) - Epilogue

I Dreamed We'd Grow Old Together...

Robert Fischer x reader

description - Robert and Y/n's life over the next five years

word count - 2k

warnings - pregnancy, and an insane amount of fluff

a/n - and so it ends! This fic has been very important to me and has given me such a great outlet. I want to thank you all for your continued love and support for this fic! If it hadnt been for you guys I probably wouldnt have had enough confidence to continue it!

Please like/comment/reblog/follow!!!

a/n pt2 - Also seeing as I have fallen in love with this relationship I will be accepting questions and headcanons on their relationship!

Previous Part Series Master list Master list

Questions and Headcanons on Robert x y/n - here

And so we came together. It felt like the culmination of a thousand dreams.

We went out on many dates. Robert would plan these luxurious and expensive expressions of affection: dinner at the fanciest restaurants, cinemas bought out for our private viewing experience. But we alternated who planned the dates, so when it came to my turn I went for the simplest. Walks on the beach, picnics in the park. One day I even found a crafting class for us, and I could’ve cried on the spot when I saw his eyes light up at the handmade windmills. Of course, he saw it as a happy coincidence when in reality I enjoyed feeling like I was healing his childhood self, one step at a time.

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. We were out on a hike which I had chosen. He had grumbled about the idea of getting up early, but I could see the stress leave his body at the first gulp of forest air. I carried on ahead as he went to tie his shoe but when I turned back I gasped. Robert was down on one knee, holding a beautiful diamond ring.

“Y/n Cobb, I have loved you since that first moment I laid eyes on you, and I think even before that.” I walked closer to him so I could hold his other outstretched hand. Tears were streaming down my face and my smile was holding back an extremely loud yes. “I know how much you believe in dreams and so on. And last night I had a dream that we grew old together. When I woke up I knew it had to be my reality. Y/n Cobb, will you…”

I threw my arms around him.

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” I placed a loud kiss right on his lips.

“You could have at least let me finish!” He teasingly whined.

“Well I could see where you were going!” I argued back but was halted when he kissed me once more. We pulled away long enough so Robert could slide the ring onto my finger.

Safe to say, we did not finish the hike that day as we quickly went home to celebrate.

I had moved in with Robert before so we visited Dad and the kids for lunch the day after to give them the news. Dad had always been weary around Robert, not knowing if he would recognise him. But it was fine as, in my Dad’s words, ‘when Robert is around Y/n, it’s like the world doesn’t exist.’. Dad still couldn’t stop himself pulling Robert aside whilst Philippa was asking me a million questions about the wedding and if she could be a bridesmaid. All he did was roughly grab his hand and pulled him close and merely whispered

“She’s my precious girl. And I have a gun.”

Safe to say Robert was healthily shocked.

We got married weeks later as neither of us could wait. I told Robert I didn’t care about a big expensive wedding, but he couldn’t seem to accept that.

I got my wish for a small wedding in the garden of my childhood home, with just my closest friends. But everything else about it was still ridiculously posh. Right down to the flower arch we were married under.

James and Philippa were my brides’girl’ and brides’boy’. My father walked me down the makeshift aisle. Arthur and Eames were there as well as Yusuf and Ariadne. They were all worried about the risk of the inceptors being so close to the mark after the heist.

“There’s no telling what could trigger his memory.”

“Well, y/n spent the most time with him out of all of us and she’s marrying him.”

“We can’t all sleep with him!”

“ENOUGH!”

I then put a rule that there was to be no dream talk at my wedding. My father even gave his own little speech explaining that if anyone ruined my wedding, he would kill them. We all laughed but his continued silence quickly shut us all up.

Robert did not want any family there. And he also didn’t have friends he felt were close enough to warrant an invitation.

One night, whilst planning, I cautiously asked him about inviting his godfather. He tensed up and lowered his eyes. He brushed it off saying it would be too many people. I reluctantly agreed with him whilst looking at the sparsity of his side of the guests.

The wedding was beautiful, and we finished with dancing on the grass well into the early hours of the morning. I got my first dance with my father, a day I thought would never come. Philippa asked Robert to dance, and he graciously accepted, lifting her up onto his feet and they swayed alongside us.

The morning after we were curled up together in bed. My back leaned on his chest as he played with my fingers. The morning sun bleeding into my childhood bedroom.

“Where do you want to live?” His morning voice broke the quiet.

“I thought we were going to move into your house.” I tilted my head to look into his eyes which were trained on a picture of me, my dad and my mum.

“I don’t wanna go back. Being here, in this house, with all the love in it. I just don’t want to go back there.”

“Okay.” I leaned up and planted a soft kiss to his cheek.

“So if you could live in any house, anywhere in the world, where would you live?”

I snuggled myself back into his chest and closed my eyes as I imagined.

“Somewhere in the countryside, with a big sprawling garden that backs onto fields and forests with plenty of walks. The house should be cozy, with a big kitchen with an old fashioned stove that keeps us warm in winter. Wooden tables where I can cook and bake all day long till my hearts content. The house should have big windows so the sunlight can dictate our day. Small bedrooms but big comfy beds, fluffy rugs, open fires. And maybe even an extra room...with a cot.” I met his eyes for the last word.

“Yes.”

“To which bit?”

“To all of it.” We kissed passionately.

A few days later and Robert woke me up and told me we were going on a trip. We bundled into his car and drove for hours until we came to a stop outside a house that seeped with familiarity. I got out, transfixed by what stood before me. It was as real from my mind as if I had created it in my dream. Robert moved to unlock the little gate which led to the front door. He turned to me and held out a set of keys with a little windmill keychain.

“It needs a bit of work and I know I shouldn’t have bought it without showing you—”

“I love it.”

We didn’t need a honeymoon, the two weeks to ourselves spent decorating and filling the house with our love was enough. I drew designs for each room and Robert would do the heavy lifting. I could see how much he enjoyed working with his hands after dismantling his business a week into our relationship. I also was unable to help much as my hand found softly stroked a barely noticeable bump.

We relished in the days of decorating, where trying to paint a single wall would turn into silly games or dancing round to music, intermittent with many kisses and hugs.

Eventually we had built our home out of our house and we relaxed into our sofa, a bottle of red between us. We sealed the night with a kiss and it definitely didn’t end there.

Five Years Later

I stand at the sink washing our dishes from lunch and look out of the window onto our expansive garden. Robert runs about the grass, clad in soft jeans and a ratty knitted jumper. Our three darling children chase around him at varying speeds. Our eldest, Isla, holds her baby sister Aspen’s hand, and Nicholas, the youngest, toddles behind his sisters, excited to be involved.

Arthur runs up from behind and scoops Nicholas up into his arms through the giggling shrieks of the three. He bounces Nicholas up into the air. Isla and Aspen then run over and begin shouting up at their uncle for their turn.

I don’t hear Robert make his way into the house, I just feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and soft kisses being ladened up and down my neck. I sink back into his body which is warm from the sun. His arms snake down and his hands lay on mine.

“Leave those now. I’ll do them later.” I agree by turning in his arms so we can meet in a proper kiss. His fingers grip my waist and stroke my sides.

Our moment is interrupted by a loud opening of the door. I roll my eyes at the familiar sound and break apart to greet Eames at the door.

“Right! Where are my darling godchildren?”

“I give you a good time to come round, and you insist on coming just before their tea and bath time.”

He laughs and knocks my chin with his knuckle.

“Motherhood suits you.” I bat his hand away and gesture out the door. “Make it quick.”

I turn back to a still laughing Robert who quickly stops once he sees my stern face.

“I’ll ask Eames if he wants to stay for tea with Arthur.” He goes to go back into the garden.

“What you thinking for tea?” I ask his retreating form.

“Chicken and potatoes?”

“Delicious.” He smiles and leaves.

I begin sorting through the mail which still sat on the side. I smiled once I reached a postcard from Dad. He’d taken the kids to Disneyland for a week and sent a picture of them with Goofy. I pinned it up on our cork board.

My peaceful moment is soon interrupted.

“Y/n! Tell Arthur that I’m the favourite uncle!”

“Y/n! Tell Eames that fun does not have to mean dangerous!”

“Mama, mama, Uncle Eames turned me upside down and span me around!”

“See! Dangerous!”

“Honey, where’s the disinfectant? Aspen scraped her knee.”

“Mummy it really hurts!”

“Mama! Uppies! Uppies!”

I picked Nicholas up into my arms and simply giggled, perfectly happy with my life.

It was now night. Arthur and Eames had left after insisting on reading the kids stories which meant they were roped into reading 3 stories per child. Nicholas had gone down first. Then Aspen and even though Isla had loved staying up with mummy and daddy, tiredness had overcome her quickly. So Robert carried her up and tucked her into bed.

We now lay in bed together, curled up. Simply relishing in the silence that was so foreign in our big house.

“Do you wanna know something strange?” He broke the silence. “That day we met, I had a dream about a girl who I fell in love with. I like to think it was you.”

I bit my lip to stop myself uncontrollably grinning.

“And since then, my dreams have been consumed by you and our little family.”

I tried to meet his eyes, but he was locked in thought and I knew I couldn’t interrupt his thoughtfulness.

“The moment I met you I realised that I wanted to create my own family rather than continue working for one that never loved me.”

I hugged him tighter as his voice shook slightly.

“Well, that’s good. Because your family is about to get a little bigger.” I took his hand and drifted it down until it landed on a subtle bump.

“Perfect.” He kissed my hairline as his hand stroked up and down my stomach.

The silence resumed and we both fell deeper into the stillness of the night. But as I drifted off one thought plagued my mind.

Perhaps the idea never actually took hold.

Perhaps it was me and him.

Us together, that changed his life.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Thank you so much for reading!!

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[bepoopy]

★ Chapter Ten: The Beach Trip

The school trip to the beach was something we’d all been looking forward to. It was supposed to be one of those carefree days—sun, sand, and a break from the usual school routine. When we all piled into the bus, the excitement was palpable, everyone buzzing with energy. Minji and her friends claimed the back seats, as usual, while I ended up sitting with Rei and Leeseo somewhere in the middle.

The banter started right away. Ryujin was already challenging Hanni to see who could make the biggest splash in the ocean, while Karina teased Minji about wearing sunscreen like a mom. I overheard Rei and Leeseo making jokes about building the biggest sandcastle ever, even though I knew neither of them had any serious plans to do it.

And then there was Wonyoung.

She was sitting a few rows ahead of me with Yujin, their heads close together as they whispered and giggled about something. I tried not to stare, tried to focus on the conversation going on around me, but it was like I had this internal radar for her—always knowing exactly where she was, even without meaning to.

“Hey, Y/N!” Rei nudged me, bringing me back to the present. “You gonna join us in the water, or are you gonna mope on the beach like some kind of seaweed?”

I laughed, forcing myself to shake off the mood. “You kidding? I’m going to out-splash all of you.”

-————-

When we finally arrived at the beach, the sun was already high, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. The second our feet hit the sand, the chaos began. Minji and Karina set up a volleyball net, calling out to everyone for a match. Hanni and Ryujin were already racing to the water, screaming like banshees, while Rei and Leeseo dragged me toward the shoreline, determined to make good on their promise to splash everyone.

For a while, it was easy to forget everything else. The cold water hitting my skin jolted me into the moment, the laughter and the feel of the sun on my back chasing away the tension that had been hanging over me for weeks.

But, of course, it didn’t last.

After some time, Wonyoung and Yujin strolled down to the water, their hands intertwined. Wonyoung was in a flowy sundress over her swimsuit, her hair tied up in a loose bun, looking effortlessly perfect. I caught myself staring again, the familiar ache creeping into my chest.

"Hey, Y/N!" Wonyoung’s voice jolted me. She was smiling, that warm, easy smile that always made me feel both excited and hollow at the same time. "Wanna join our team for volleyball?"

I blinked, trying to process the question. "Uh, sure. Who’s on your team?"

"Me, Yujin, and Minji. You in?"

The combination of being on the same team as both Wonyoung and my sister made my brain short-circuit for a second, but I nodded. "Yeah, why not?"

As we started playing, things got competitive fast. Minji’s spikes were brutal, and Ryujin and Hanni weren’t holding back on the opposite team. I found myself caught between trying to win and being hyper-aware of Wonyoung’s presence beside me. Every time we high-fived after a good play, my heart did that stupid flutter thing, and I hated how much it affected me.

But it was Yujin who seemed to notice the tension first. Between points, she glanced between me and Wonyoung, her expression unreadable, but I could tell she was picking up on something. I kept my head down, focusing on the game, but it was hard to ignore the way her gaze lingered on me.

-————-

After the game, the group split up. Some people went back to the water, others lounged on the sand, and I ended up wandering alone along the shoreline. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was calming, and for a moment, I let myself just exist in that space, free of the whirlwind of thoughts that usually plagued me when I was around Wonyoung.

But, as if on cue, I heard her voice again.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

I turned to see Wonyoung jogging toward me, her sundress fluttering in the breeze. I tried to prepare myself for another casual conversation, but there was something different in the way she was looking at me now. Something serious.

“Mind if I walk with you?” she asked, already falling into step beside me.

“Sure,” I said, my throat tightening.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, the sand cool under our feet as the waves lapped at the shore. I could feel the tension building between us, like we were both avoiding something we didn’t want to confront.

Finally, Wonyoung spoke. “You’ve been... distant again.”

There it was. I couldn’t avoid it anymore.

I swallowed hard, my mind racing for a response. “I’ve just had a lot going on.”

Wonyoung stopped walking, turning to face me. “You keep saying that, but... I don’t believe you.”

I froze, my heart pounding. “What do you mean?”

She took a step closer, her eyes searching mine. “You’re pulling away from me, Y/N. And I don’t get why.”

I wanted to tell her everything—to spill all the messy feelings I’d been hiding for so long. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I looked away, out at the ocean, my chest tight with the weight of everything unsaid.

“It’s complicated,” I muttered, hating how weak it sounded.

“Then explain it to me,” she said softly. “I want to understand.”

I could feel her eyes on me, waiting for me to open up, but I couldn’t. Not like this, not when I knew how impossible it all was. Wonyoung was with Yujin, and even if she wasn’t, there was no way she felt the same way about me. I was just... stuck.

“I can’t,” I whispered.

For a long moment, neither of us said anything. The only sound was the waves crashing against the shore, the distant laughter of our friends somewhere down the beach.

“Wonyoung,” I began, I could feel the breath catch in my throat, “So… do you like her that much?”

Wonyoung looked at me, her gaze was steady, almost expectant. My silence spoke volumes, but I had to know.

“I love her, Y/N,” Wonyoung said, her voice quiet, but certain.

I felt the words sink in, twisting the knot tighter in my chest. A bitter laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. “Right. Of course you do. Silly me for asking.”

She didn’t respond immediately, but there was a sadness in her eyes, one that made me feel like she understood more than I realized.

“I’m sorry,” I added quickly, forcing a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “I shouldn’t have—”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she interrupted gently. “Just... don’t shut me out, okay?”

I nodded, but the weight in my chest didn’t lighten. Not really.

-————-

Later that evening, after the sun had set, the teachers organized a small fireworks show to wrap up the day. We all gathered on the beach, sitting in small groups, watching as the first bursts of color lit up the night sky.

I sat with Rei and Leeseo, but my eyes kept drifting to Wonyoung and Yujin, who were sitting close together a few feet away. Wonyoung’s head rested on Yujin’s shoulder, their hands intertwined. I tried to look away, but it was like a magnet pulling me in.

The fireworks exploded overhead, vibrant reds and blues and golds, but all I could feel was the sinking weight in my chest. I glanced at Wonyoung again, and for a brief second, our eyes met.

She smiled, but there was a hint of sadness there, like she understood more than she was letting on.

The fireworks continued, filling the sky with light and sound, but all I could think about was how far away Wonyoung felt, even though she was right there.

And in that moment, I knew things would never be the same between us.

[piedpiperart]

Phantom of Gotham 15

Chapter 14

When the five of them met back in the kitchen, they were all wearing swim trunks with t-shirts and towels around their shoulders or under their arm. Danny took the chance to look around the manor as they made their way to the pool. The place was huge, and he couldn’t help but think Sam would have loved it. His core ached at the reminder, but he was soon pulled into the group’s teasing with ease.

“I can’t believe neither of you knew there was a pool here,”Tim was saying. 

“It’s not like you knew it existed either Timberly,”Jason scoffed. Dick made some guestures Danny assumed meant he agreed with Jason. Tim rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, but you guys were here a lot longer than anyone else,”Tim pointed out.

“You are all just ashamed that the person who discovered it was the last one to move into the manor,”Damian sniffed. 

“Yeah right,”Jason protested and attempted to put Damian into a headlock, but the kid swiftly darted to the side to avoid him. 

“Hey look, we’re here!” Dick chimed in before things could get more violent. The five of them, minus Damian, crowded around the door to get a good look. “Huh, guess we do have a pool.”

“Duh,”Tim muttered, and Danny nudged him, masking the fact that he took Tim’s new coffee cup and phased it into the wall while everyone was looking at the pool.

“Alright! I think there’s some floaties in the locker room,”Dick said, throwing the door open. The other four trailed after him like ducklings, taking in the frankly ginormous pool and small hot tub in the corner. Near the windows were a few sets of tables and lawn chairs, which Jason quickly commandeered, sitting down with a book Danny didn’t realize he had before. 

 After helping Dick take out some ridiculous floaties, a giant duck, a unicorn, a dinosaur, a donut, and a flamingo, they brought out some pool toys consisting of rubber balls and some frisbees. They spent ten minutes blowing up the floaties, Dick making it into a competition so the first one who blew up the floatie got to choose which one they wanted first. Damian won, much to Tim’s displeasure. Danny was pretty sure it was only because the others, including himself, were too busy distracting each other or purposefully letting air out of each others floaties. 

“Don’t leave your shoes around,”Dick reminded them, and they went to the locker to put their shoes and shirts into cubbies before coming out and jumping into the pool. Or in Tim;s case, pushed into the pool by Dick. He’d complain if he hadn’t seen Dick also push Damian in after him. 

“Betrayal!” Damian was sputtering, when Tim noticed someone missing. 

“Jason, aren’t you coming?” Dick called, but Jason waved him off, not taking his attention off his book. 

“Where’s Danny?” Tim called, and the other two in the pool glanced around before shrugging. Tim bit his lip, wondering if he was okay. Did Danny not know how to swim? He suddenly felt bad for not asking what his friend wanted to do. Maybe Danny was afraid of water, or he had some aversion to water because he’s a halfa. Tim shook his head before he started catastrophizing and started moving to the side of the pool. 

“I’ll get him,”Jason called, sitting up and making his way to the locker room. 

“You sure?” Tim asked, nervous. He felt like a bad friend staying in the pool while his friend was having trouble. 

“Yeah, just give him a minute,”Jason waved them off, before disappearing into the locker room. 

“Danny? You in here?” Jason called. He took a few steps in after no response, only to see Danny sitting on a bench, clenching the bottom of his shirt nervously. Frowning, Jason came over and sat next to him. “You alright kiddo?” “...Yeah,”Danny murmured, still tense. “I just.. Have a lot of.. Scars.”

Ah. Jason could understand that. He himself still had an autopsy scar from when he’d died. Sure, the lazarus pits healed most of his wounds and scars, but the Y was so deep it still left a pretty mark on him even now. It’s why he was sitting on the side reading. He figured the scar would bring down the mood, and he knew Dick would want to talk about feelings afterwards. Jason wanted to avoid that, because f Dick wanted to talk about feelings, then Bruce wasn’t far behind. 

“Listen, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think,”Jason offered. “We’re all pretty used to scars around here. Hell, mines worse than anything you got, I promise.”

“Is that why you’re not swimming either?” Danny asked, glancing at Jason’s own maroon shirt. 

“Yeah, you caught me. But I promise those guys out there will be fine with your scars,”Jason said. “Mine are just… kinda gruesome and bring back some bad memories.”

“Your scars can’t be that bad,”Danny sighed. “I… I don’t like looking at them. My scars, I mean. I don’t think anyone does.”

“Kid, none of us are gonna judge you on your scars,”Jason comforted, trying to not feel like a hypocrite. 

“But they judge you for yours?” Danny raised an eyebrow. Point taken, Jason supposed. 

“No, they..”Jason sighed. Maybe this kid just needed some self esteem. Whatever, he could deal with Dick’s feelings for one day for this. Then he clapped his hands together. “Alright, if I go out there without my shirt you have to too, alright?” 

“I don’t know, you don’t really want to see this,”Danny gestured to his shirt. Jason snorted.

“Trust me, nothing you got is worse than mine,”Jason smirked.

“Wanna bet?” Danny retorted, but Jason could see the stiffness in his shoulders, and the way he gripped the hem of his shirt. 

“I’ll take that bet,”Jason said, and without fanfare, he shrugged his shirt off. There was a pause in the room, and Jason turned to see Danny with wide eyes. Jason wasn’t sure the kid was even breathing as he stared at the Y on Jason’s chest. 

“See?’ Jason laughed without humor. “Told you…” Jason trailed off when Danny threw his shirt off to reveal a matching, if not worse autopsy scar on Danny’s own chest. 

“You-” Jason started. How had this kid- why, Jason wondered. He wished that he’d asked more questions about halfas when they’d met with Phantom. Looking closer, Jason could track what looked like faint lichtenberg scars spreading out from Danny’s heart, across his shoulders, but barely reaching his neck. 

“Guess we both win that bet,”Danny joked quietly. Jason swallowed, throat suddenly dry. “Were you… awake? When it uh..” Danny mumbled, still looking at Jason’s scar, and that snapped Jason out of his thoughts. 

“No, I…”Jason responded, only to realize why he’d asked the question. “You were-?” Jason cut himself off. Whoever did this to the kid was definitely going to die, Jason promised. No kid deserved to be vivisected, even if they were a meta. “Who?” He asked, a bit more harshly than he wanted.

“My uh..”Danny started, looking down at his feet and fidgeting with his shirt. “It’s kinda why I ran away to Gotham,”Danny shrugged. “I-it’s fine now, I’m fine.” He reassured, despite it doing the opposite to Jason. It was then that Jason remembered that the kids parents were ghost hunters, and that the kid had run away from home not even a year ago. 

Which meant the kid’s scars were new. Or newer than Jasons, for sure. He took a breath, then stood up, offering a hand to Danny. Reluctantly, Danny took his hand and was pulled to his feet. 

“Listen, you can put your shirt back on if you want, but I’ll go with you either way,”Jason offered. Danny glanced between their scars for a moment, then apparently steeled his nerves. 

“Sure, let’s go,”Danny said determinedly, but Jason could see the tension in his shoulders and the waver in his voice. Damn, this kid is brave, Jason thought. 

“There they are!” Dick cheered when not only Danny but Jason came out of the locker room with their swim trunks on. Tim squinted, doing a double take when he realized-

Letting out a shout, Jason suddenly leaped into a cannon ball into the pool, splashing everyone in the face before they could say anything. Tim sputtered, only to be hit by another, seemingly colder wave when Danny jumped in behind him. Resurfacing, Jason had pulled Danny and Damian into a splash war that had them all smiling. 

Tim shared a look with Dick, and he saw Dick’s expression of concern and abject horror on his face. Dick seemed to want to talk to Jason, but before the man could get close, Jason splashed him in the face. Message received, Tim thought. As unsettling as it was, he figured Jason was a good fit to take the lead on this one. Bringing up their scars wouldn’t be very cool if Danny’s still self-conscious about it. Tim made a note to ask Phantom more about halfas before he was promptly sprayed in the face by Danny. Tim spluttered, looking to the playful smirk on Danny’s face that was obviously hiding nervousness and grinned, splashing back. 

That was how the afternoon was spent, with Jason or Danny splashing anyone who seemed like they were about to bring up the scars until they all got the message to not mention it. Much to Tim’s amusement, Damian and Dick were splashed the most out of them all. Tim was happy to say he got to splash Damian a few times in warning too, even if it resulted in mild bruising. 

Overall, They had a blast. Each of them had their own giant floatie, and raced along the pool a bunch of times until it developed into more of a pirate boat situation, with each other trying to pull the others into the water. A few of them ended up popped, so they’d switched to pool volleyball and frisbee before Alfred came in to call them for a late lunch. 

Getting out of the pool, Tim refrained from mentioning the scars, but he could tell Dick and Damian were just moments away from bringing it up. Dick just had a look reminiscent of a kicked puppy, and Damian was scowling every time he caught sight of Danny’s autopsy scar. While Danny and Tim were chatting, he caught sight of Dick and Jason talking in the corner before he turned back to Danny. 

Danny seemed… happy. Or as happy as he’d been so far. Tim could see he was grateful for the distraction. It had been a while since he’d seen Danny truly relaxed when he wasn’t sleeping in class. It was nice. He hoped they’d be able to keep Danny safe from the GIW so he’d stay like this. 

Tim assumed Dick had taken Damian aside to explain somethings, because during lunch Damian didn’t even change expressions when glancing towards Danny’s now covered chest. On Danny’s part, he just seemed grateful no one was bringing it up. 

After lunch, however, Dick and Jason left for ‘work’ purposes, leaving Tim, Danny and Damian to hole up in the game room for a mario kart tournament. Though, not long after they’d started, Danny’d fallen asleep on the couch, resting his head softly on Tim’s shoulder. 

It took Tim by surprise for a moment, but he found it didn’t bother him. Damian on the other hand, was frowning at the two of them from his chair. “What?” Tim whispered. 

“Are you aware of how Danny acquired his.. Scar?” Damian asked quietly. Tim glanced down to Danny, still finding him breathing softly. 

“I can guess,”Tim nodded. “What did Dick say?”

Damian pursed his lips, looking to Danny before saying,”His parents. They had attempted to vivisect him before he managed to escape to Gotham.” Damian scowled, and Tim’s heart dropped. He was sure his parents had something to do with it but.. Vivisection was cruel. 

“We will not allow any such experiments to happen further,”Damian stated, staring down Tim as if he didn’t want the same thing. 

“Yeah,”Tim whispered. “He’s gonna be okay, Dami.”

Damian scoffed. “Of course he will. He’s with us now.” 

Tim fought back a smile at the statement. He was not that successful given the way Damian scowled and then got up to leave the room. He was on his way out when a sudden soft rumbling filled the room. Damian froze, turning back to Tim with narrowed eyes. 

“I was unaware that Alfred the cat was in here,”Damian stated, eyes darting to likely hiding places, and Tim fought a laugh. 

“Uh,”Tim started, suddenly afraid to move. “It’s not Alfred.”

Damian’s eyes narrowed further. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean uh, Danny’s sort of.. Purring?” Tim whispered exasperatedly. He exchanged bewildered glances with Damian where he was sitting, trying to stay still despite the weight on his shoulder that vibrated like a cat. “I didn’t know he could do that. Phantom didn’t say he purred,”Tim said. He looked over to Damian, who looked like he was fighting back a smile. 

Having a great idea, Tim took out his phone with the hand not connected to the shoulder Danny was laying on and pulled up the sibling group chat with Dick, Jason and Damian. Damian had sat back into his chair, staring at where Danny was purring in his sleep while Tim pressed record. 

He resisted the urge to coo as Danny purred loud enough to be picked up on the camera, and Tim dutifully sent it to the group chat to watch the chaos unfold. 

AcroBat: Oh my god is he purring??

DeadorAlive: Did we know he could do that? 

AcroBat: That is the cutest thing ever! He’s like a cat ;u;

Dameown: He started purring when he fell asleep on Timothy. 

DeadorAlive: I wonder if Phantom purrs

AcroBat: Do all ghosts purr??

Timtam: Assuming halfas purr, I’m pretty sure most or all ghosts purr as well. Phantom mentioned a core, and from what I can tell that’s probably where the noise is coming from. 

AcroBat: Have you tried petting him?!

Timtam: No??

DeadorAlive: He is a human boy Dickhead

Dameown: Petting him may make him feel more relaxed. If he is purring he must be comfortable around you. 

Timtam: I am not petting Danny

AcroBat: You’re in the game room? I’ll pet him

Timtam: You better not

Dameown: If you wake him I will kill you

Tim sighed, already done with his siblings. Part of him was curious though, but he didn’t want to risk waking Danny up. He’d already been having a hard time sleeping from what they’d observed. Tim figured he must be tired after the emotional talk with Jason and the mess of games they played in the pool. He had to admit, it had been fun, and sitting with Danny was… nice. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much positive contact with someone. 

Not even an hour later Tim found himself lulled to sleep by the pleasant rumbling. And if Damian happened to cover them with blankets, well, no one needed to know. 

Chapter 16

[thekingofwinterblog]

Sasha's Parents

Allright, so thanks to the diary we finally got some definite info on Sasha's parents. Let's dissect it, and analyze how the divorce might have turned her into the person she is today.

According to Anne, Sasha's parents divorced when she was around four- or five-years-old. Her father remarried and doesn't seem to have had any other kids, while her mother has a long-term boyfriend who has kids of his own.

So what does this tell us? Well, the first thing we have to do is speculate which of Sasha's parents has custody of her, because knowing that, we can draw a lot of conclusions.

Personally, I am almost certain that it's her father, for reason i'll go into below.

Firstly, let's analyze the events of the divorce, before trying to figure out how the events of the series relates to the original plan the creators had to have an episode where Sasha reveals the full details of her backstory to Anne.

Mr and Mrs Waybright divorced when Sasha was 5 years old, but the implication we get from what little we know about the two people involved suggests that this wasn't simply a case of two people realizing things weren't working out... Because the implications seems to be that Mrs Waybright left her husband for another man... Who already had kids of his own, and who she very explicitly did not marry.

Why is this important? Because it explains everything we ever needed to know about Sasha's seething, burning desire to always be in control, and more importantly, on top.

Because in Sasha's 5 year old mind, seeing her mom leave her dad for another man, who already had a bunch of kids, while abandoning her, is tantamount to saying that she was worthless in her mother's eyes. She didn't measure up. Clearly her mom cared more about these kids than her... When in reality, it was the new boyfriend she actually cared about, not the kids. Neither the new ones... Or her own flesh and blood.

It also explains perfectly why Sasha's reaction to the Plantars "Stealing" Anne from her turned her downright murderous. In her mind it was basically history repeating itself again. Her losing someone she loved to another family she knew nothing about.

No wonder this girl hated the very concept of family.

Meanwhile, her dad married another woman, which which can safely assume was not a warm, loving relationship. More likely than not, whether this woman wanted to try and be a mother to Sasha, it's abundantly clear that that wasn't gonna happen. After the divorce, Sasha would have rejected any and all attempts at replacing her mother, and that stuck.

Her eternal quest to make Anne and Marcy happy is also explained by this. Sasha wants to make the people she loves happy. She wants them to like her, to appreciate her, to be rewarded with love and attention by people she loves and cares about.

But while this does explain a lot(Her control issues, her disdain for family, her non existent love for said family) there is still some things it does not explain, or at least there seems to be something more we aren't told.

So, let's put forth another question, to explain the things that a simple, if ugly divorce does not explain.

Was Sasha abused by her parents?

Throughout the series, Sasha continously says some extremely heavy lines, that though they fit perfectly with what is happening in the moment, all seem to be as a response to something else that happened previously in Sasha's life, that we just don't have the context for.

When Sasha hits her absolute lowest point, after having seemingly destroyed the only thing she truly cared about for Good and all, Sasha very deliberately refers to herself as belonging in the Trash, and that it's all someone like her deserves, in a tone that suggests she is accepting something she felt deep in her heart was innevitable.

That could be her being overly dramatic... But it could be something else.

Like she had been told that this was all she amounted to, a worthless brat who no one would love, who belonged in the trash.

Not while Anne and Marcy are getting by withouth me.

This line is pretty clear in it's meaning, but again, the way it's said and worded suggests it's referencing something someone else said at some point.

Hey anne... Maybe you're better off without me.

Sasha's famous line when she decides to kill herself is an important one, and one where she proves that she is willing to lay down her life for anne if it comes to that.

But knowing the circumstances with her parents divorce, it's hard not to read more into it. That Sasha had a genuine fear that her mother didn't just leave her, but that she was better off withouth her.

That could be projecting... but it doesn't have to be. Sasha could have heard it straight from the horse's mouth.

End of discussion

This one is absolutely referencing a line. This is a line Sasha uses to shut down any arguments Anne has when Sasha wants the discussion to end.

But that isn't something kids tend to learn on their own. They learn that by example. By mimicking others.

So before going into speculation of how Sasha may or may not have been abused, lets finish by pointing out the biggest argument for it.

The incredibly unsettling, and unnatural way Sasha does not care about her Parents in any way.

Sasha makes it abundantly clear throughout the entire series that she does not care about her parents. At all. Her relationship with them isn't a complicated one. It's nonexistent. As far as she cares, it does not exist.

That is incredibly unnatural behavior from a child. Even the most abused, or neglected of children will usually have some form of natural attachment to their parents, or parental figures. It's simply the way human beings are made.

It takes A LOT to break that bond completely, even for an adult.

But Sasha isn't an adult. She is a child. And yet her bond to her parents is as far as she is concerned for most of the series, broken beyond any repair.

And she doesn't care to try and fix it. That all on it's own speaks volumes of just how BAD her relationship with her folks are.

So, let's get to speculating on what exactly the kind of abuse Sasha might have gone through with her parents, because there is probably two very distinct kinds from each of her parents.

Of the two, I would guess that if she was abused, the most visceral part came from her mom.

Most of Sasha's biggest issues are clearly a result of her mother leaving her, and so this would make sense.

So, what sort of abuse might Sasha have suffered at the hands of her mother that broke her down so badly, given the woman left her behind, and so probably didn't interact with her much beyond this?

If i had to guess, all of it probably stems for what happened during the divorce, where her mom essentially put all her cards on the table, and let her real feelings be put on full display.

And there are several reasons her mom might have had to lash out at her own child. It could be as simple as the fact she used Sasha to hurt her now ex-husband. Rubbing in that he was stuck with her now.

It could be that sasha was an unplanned child that she didn't want, and had secretly resented for all five years of her life.

She may have been pressured into having her by her Mr Waybright, and now that she no longer had to even try to make him happy, she made it abundantly clear how much she never wanted the damned child he put in her.

Or she could flat out not have liked Sasha, based solely on her personality.

Whatever the reasons, it's clear that the events of the divorce shattered Sasha to her core, and would be essential into forming her into the person she was at the start of the series.

Having one of the people that Sasha(Who is a person who forms STRONG attachments) loves more than any other, turn on her completely, and reveal she always hated her would probably have done the trick.

Now, let's move on to Mr Waybright.

I am very certain that Sasha probably learned the "End. Of. Discussion." From him, as their relationship seems to have been a different kind of breakdown.

Namely that he seems to have given up on Sasha, giving her a level of personal control over her life that is downright irresponsible, letting her throw parties on the regular, seemingly giving her free access to cash as she needs it, and having failed to instill any discipline into his kid.

These are all classic symptoms of a relationship where the parent has given up, and simply gives the kid what they want so they don't have to deal with them.

But was this always the case?

The simple fact is, that with what we know of Mrs Waybright, the extreme destruction of her relationship with Sasha makes sense. There are details one has to speculate on, but there is a clear line to follow from point A to B.

Not so with Mr Waybright.

We know where they ended up, the turning point, but not the steps between.

The only thing we have to go on, Is that amongst her many, many unusual traits for someone so young, Sasha has a much older person's view on discipline. Namely she does not respond to it, because she does not respect the person delivering it, be they teachers or Grime.

It does not take a genius to figure out that this probably stems from her relationship with her father.

The simplest, and most likely explanation is that Mr Waybright attempts at parenting probably involved a lot of discipline, and attempts to instill Sasha with a sense dread at a phrace with the meaning of "This conversation is over".

In this he obviously failed, Because for whatever reason(probably something that happened during the divorce) Sasha does not respect him... But Sasha in turn seems to have learned this very kind of tactic herself from him.

Mr Waybright thusly seems to have had more of a sense of familial obligation to Sasha... At least trying to instill her with something resembling discipline... Until finally just giving up on her all together and just letting her do as she pleased.

All in all whether there was actual abuse involved, or just a child's entire world crumbling due to a very ugly divorce, I really, really wish we'd gotten Sasha's backstory episode.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 25

Catherine might have missed like 99% of Henry Tilney's flirting, but she has an inkling it has happened, maybe, "He had—she thought he had, once or twice before this fatal morning, shown something like affection for her."

Which is why I love this meme so much:

Again, Catherine touches upon Marianne Dashwood behaviour but she just can't really commit, "But now—in short, she made herself as miserable as possible for about half an hour, went down when the clock struck five, with a broken heart, and could scarcely give an intelligible answer to Eleanor’s inquiry if she was well." However, by the end of the evening and with Henry being kinder than ever, she has recovered. she had nothing to do but to forgive herself and be happier than ever; and the lenient hand of time did much for her by insensible gradations in the course of another day. She does indeed bounce back quickly!

Catherine reflects that in England at least, the type of villains described by Mrs. Radcliff must not exist. She doesn't go so far as to pardon France and Switzerland from containing such evil, but she's pretty sure about her own country. She also believes that while Henry and Eleanor may not be perfect (never!), she's certain that General Tilney has some "specks" in his character. Well you've come a long way girl, we won't ask for more just yet.

Murder was not tolerated, servants were not slaves, and neither poison nor sleeping potions to be procured, like rhubarb, from every druggist.

Quick, someone tell Shakespeare!

Now Catherine's thoughts return to Bath, but she has no news. Her faithful friend has proved unfaithful again: But Isabella had promised and promised again; and when she promised a thing, she was so scrupulous in performing it! Oh Catherine...

Not as bad as her brother though! Poor Thorpe is in town: I dread the sight of him; his honest heart would feel so much. Honest heart! That man doesn't have an honest cell in his entire body! I would have more hope for James if we knew he finally figured out John, but the only hint we have is this: the failure of a very recent endeavour to accomplish a reconciliation between Morland and Isabella. So James and John met again and John tried to get them back together, but whether James rejected both siblings or just one is unknown.

I really feel for Catherine here, she has to sit through breakfast trying not to cry, then cannot return to her room because it is being cleaned (bedrooms in this era were mostly for dressing and sleeping, so she wouldn't be expected to use her room again until 4pm*), tries the drawing room only to discover the Tilney siblings, but then they kindly leave her to herself. Catherine needs another half hour (her magical sad-feeling time) before she can face them.

This line from Catherine is so very Jane Bennet:

"Could you have believed there had been such inconstancy and fickleness, and everything that is bad in the world?”

What a stroke was this for poor Jane, who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind as was here collected in one individual! -Pride & Prejudice, of Wickham

The poor girls, having their eyes opened to the wickedness of the world.

Then this part:

This post by Fira Wren playing in my head. His kids know the General is full of it. Eleanor is surprised her older brother has fallen in love, since it seems he never has been before, which again has Henry Crawford vibes.

No, not very. I do not believe Isabella has any fortune at all: but that will not signify in your family. Your father is so very liberal! He told me the other day that he only valued money as it allowed him to promote the happiness of his children.” The brother and sister looked at each other.

Now the reason that Isabella Thorpe would lose in a battle to the death against Lucy Steele and Lady Susan is that she didn't keep her first man secure until she had the next engagement entirely locked down. Rookie movie Izzy! I have too good an opinion of Miss Thorpe’s prudence to suppose that she would part with one gentleman before the other was secured. Isabella just could not manage two men at once.

I love this interaction:

This line from Catherine too, "I never was so deceived in anyone’s character in my life before.” and Henry's response: “Among all the great variety that you have known and studied.” has so much in common with this interaction in Pride & Prejudice:

“But perhaps,” observed Catherine, “though she has behaved so ill by our family, she may behave better by yours. Now she has really got the man she likes, she may be constant.” “Indeed I am afraid she will,” replied Henry; “I am afraid she will be very constant, unless a baronet should come in her way; that is Frederick’s only chance. I will get the Bath paper, and look over the arrivals.”

“I did not know before,” continued Bingley, immediately, “that you were a studier of character. It must be an amusing study.” “Yes; but intricate characters are the most amusing. They have at least that advantage.” “The country,” said Darcy, “can in general supply but few subjects for such a study. In a country neighbourhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society.” “But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever.”

Henry also manages to tip us off about his intentions to marry Catherine right under Catherine's oblivious nose!

"Prepare for your sister-in-law, Eleanor, and such a sister-in-law as you must delight in! Open, candid, artless, guileless, with affections strong but simple, forming no pretensions, and knowing no disguise.”

“Such a sister-in-law, Henry, I should delight in,” said Eleanor with a smile.

Catherine also realizes that she feels much less sad about losing Isabella than she thought she would, which Henry tells her to think about. The falseness of Isabella's friendship is dawning on Catherine, perhaps now just unconsciously.

*Quote illuminating this point from Wives & Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell, spoke by a character who would have been young during the Regency era: 'No, no, Cromer: bedrooms are for sleeping in, and sitting-rooms are for sitting in. Keep everything to its right purpose, and don't try and delude me into nonsense.' Why, my mother would have given us a fine scolding if she had ever caught us in our bedrooms in the daytime. We kept our out-door things in a closet downstairs; and there was a very tidy place for washing our hands, which is as much as one wants in the daytime.

[muse-write]

Verlady Week Day 6

Prompt: Poems and Petals

@verladyweek

In the wake of the Qliphoth, there were few truly green areas around Red Grave City, and Lady could tell that the loss hurt Vergil in more ways than the simple guilt of being the one to cause it. When Nico drove them through forests that had flourished beyond the reaches of Urizen’s destruction, Lady had seen something like longing in his eyes as he’d stared out the window, quickly covered by a veneer of disinterest. He’d turned to cleaning the Yamato or reading a poetry book or polishing the buttons on his coat or whatever it was he did to seem uninterested in anything going on around him.

But Lady had noticed, and she’d asked Dante about it. He had only shrugged. “The guy’s been through a lot. When we were kids he wasn’t an outdoor guy or anything, but he always liked walking through the forest around our house.” He’d smiled briefly. “We were maybe five, but he had this book on trees and he’d tell me what every single one was called when we passed them. Every single one. And if he didn’t know it he spent ten minutes flipping through that book trying to decide. I think I slammed him into the ground to get him to stop, not like it worked.” The nostalgia had fled, and Dante had stared at his brother with that deep sorrow that always made Lady just a little afraid. She had seen him in those days after Vergil had fallen. She knew the depths of grief he was liable to fall into, even with his brother sitting across the room. He spoke up again after a second, the easy tone of his voice not reaching his eyes. “It’s probably been a while since he’s seen any trees that weren’t…you know, made of human blood and smothering the world with human-killing roots.”

Lady had to admit that Vergil, with his neat hair and elegant coat and cutting precision, did not strike her as a tree-hugger. Neither had V, for that matter. It wasn’t as though she knew him (either of him) that well. The weight of their past hung heavy between them, and if he was content to ignore her for the time being, Lady was content to ignore him, and even Dante seemed to recognize that was the best-case solution. But she did know that Vergil spent a lot of time shut away in his room upstairs, or, if not, then pretended to be shut away while he tricked around the city with Yamato.

And Lady had seen that room, and the bedroom fit for human life that it pretended to be. It was little more than a box with a bed and a tiny window. It was a sad place to spend all your time, and even if he deserved it, she couldn’t help but feel like it was a cheerless existence.

He can live in a cheerless existence, she told herself firmly. Does Vergil even know what cheer is? Maybe he’s perfectly happy living in a box. It’s better than whatever existence he had as Nero Angelo.

Try as she might to ignore it, it was that thought—that reminder of what Dante had told her so many years ago, that memory that she now shared as a vessel for Artemis—which lodged in her brain for a week straight.

Lady was pragmatic. She liked to think that she did nothing out of sheer sentiment. She had hung around Dante this long because he refused to fully pay off his ever-increasing debt, and she protected him and worried about him because he would rejoice at the fact that being dead meant he’d never have to. She had urged Nero not to kill his own father because she hated to see a kind young man forced to make the decision she had once made. So when she stopped by the greenhouse and surveyed its sparse selection of seasonal flowers, she picked one at random, because if she didn’t think about it, she could pretend she wasn’t doing this out of pity. Or sympathy. Or empathy.

It was a few sprigs of budding larkspur.

She chose it because it rose up above the others and it was blue, like Vergil.

Lady endured the somewhat mortifying ordeal of shoving open the shop door, crossing over to the stairs, ignoring Dante’s startled look, and stomping up the stairs with her hands full of flowerpot. Before her nerve could fail her, she rapped on Vergil’s door. “Vergil, open up, I have something I need to give you.”

The silence dragged on long enough that she wondered if this was one of those times he had used Yamato to go who-knew-where, but eventually there was the sound of footsteps and the door cracked open. “I have no reason to think that I need anything at all that you—“ Vergil began, but the irritation in his voice faded as his eyes fell on the pot in her hands. He stood motionless and silent for a moment, his hand clenching restlessly on the doorframe. “Is that a flowerpot?”

She shoved it at his chest. “Call it a housewarming gift or something, whatever you want.” She began to turn away.

He grabbed the pot before it could fall. “You’re about two months too late for that. Try again.” There was a bit of mocking humor in his voice, but he stared at her intently without a hint of a glare. He seemed genuinely curious, if bewildered.

Lady sighed. The best-case scenario here, she had thought, was that he would throw the pot out the window and laugh at the concept of ever needing anything as feeble as a plant. The worst-case was having to explain herself. Lady wasn’t sure if she could put her thought process into words, since she had done her best not to think about any of it too deeply. She plowed ahead anyway. “Your room’s awful. When I emerged from Artemis, plants helped me. They’re all dead now, I don’t have a green thumb, but Dante said that you liked trees when you were a kid, and I’ve seen the way you stare at the forests whenever we drive through them, and I thought a plant might…might help,” she finished lamely.

Vergil leaned more heavily on the door for a second. He stared down at the larkspur. One finger came up to lightly touch one of the petals. “Larkspur,” he said suddenly. “It’s poisonous.” His eyes gleamed at her, and suddenly something mischievous entered his expression, not unlike his brother’s. “Did you have ulterior motives in giving me this plant?”

She shrugged. “It’s tall and blue. I thought you two would get along well.”

“Ah. I forgot, you don’t have an instinct for ulterior motives, do you? You prefer to shoot first and ask questions later.” He sighed, but there was something exaggerated about it that told her he wasn’t completely being serious. “Quite an inelegant way of handing your problems.”

“Look who’s talking,” she shot back. “You’re not much of a plans guy either. You pretend to be, but if Dante does one single thing better than you, you’ll kill yourself to outrank him.” And maybe a couple thousand people in the process, she thought, but withheld that comment. It wasn’t often that she found herself bantering with him without wanting to fire a bullet through his head just to get him to shut up. She was even enjoying it.

“We’re twins,” Vergil said flatly. “It’s what we must do.” One index finger ran up the stem of the larkspur. Vergil cocked his head and glanced down at Lady. “Thank you,” he said. “The gift is much appreciated. It will certainly liven the place up a little.”

He carried it across to the window, where he set the pot down on the rug. Lady lingered in the doorway and cast a glance around. It was almost exactly as she remembered it: a tiny closet with a tiny bed that barely looked large enough to hold Vergil’s tall frame, and just enough room for a dresser. He had placed a warm lamp on the dresser, shoved a tiny bookcase into the corner, and put a blue rug down. With the plant in a spot of sunlight cast by the tiny window, the effect was almost homey.

The part of Lady inclined to be nosy wanted to look at the books he’d stuffed into the bookshelf, but she pulled back as he turned around. “Very pretty.” Now he actually did glare at her. She raised her hands in an expression of innocence. “You’ve made it look way better than it’s been in the past.”

“Yes, well, Dante wasn’t exactly interested in upkeep. I, however, was not about to live in a dark box with no personality.”

“If you need any more plants for your windowbox, you have my number.” Now that she’d done what she’d come to do, Lady wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, uncertain what she thought of this unfamiliar, bantering duel across the threshold of Vergil’s bedroom door. She backed away and stepped onto the stairs, trying not to consider it a retreat.

The larkspur went unmentioned for weeks, until one day, Lady returned to her apartment to find a pot of blue-and-gold pansies sitting outside her door. She raised her eyebrow at the note attached. One line was scrawled in neat, small, old-fashioned handwriting:

Don’t let this one die.