#And the way you did them as a caregiver AND regressed???
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lilquokka04 · 1 year ago
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Stray Kids Age Regression/Caregiver HC
this was requested
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this is an age regression headcanon; if you don't like that, don't read it. age regression is a sfw coping mechanism, so i will be blocking anyone who might sexualize it
Chan
as a caregiver
first of all,,
chan is probably one of the most patient caregivers you'd ever have
if not THE MOST patient
he never wants to hurry you or push you further than what you need and are comfortable with
he'll help you of course
but with things like figuring out your emotions
or maybe smaller things like wanting to pick a snack to have
or building or colouring something
those things he'd never hurry along
time is precious in his eyes, and so is giving you space to figure things out on your own
and THEN if you ask for help, he'll come and help
or if you're in a situation that he can feel you wanting to step away from
then he's there too, showing that you can always rely on him when you want to
he's also the type take pics of you on his phone every time you do something cute
you're playing with a kitchen set he bought you?
*click*
you're into something playing on the tv?
*click*
you're pouting while sleeping?
*click*
and if you're okay with it, he'll want to show his friends the pictures
boasting about "look how cute my baby is"
the two of you also take walks in the park
he loves the times where you'd find a little bug or creature or just nature that you're intrigued by
he'll sit down on the ground, pull you into his lap and tell you about the thing, rly dad-like
maybe even pick it up if you're hesitant to, showing you that there's nothing to be scared of
when regressed
when regressed, chan has a lot of trouble articulating
which is why his words comes out slurred when he's speaking
he'll most likely mix english words into his korean sentences
unless he can talk only in english
and then there might be korean words mixed into his sentences there as well
he's most likely to regress when he's sleepy, head already fuzzy
he's mostly pretty quiet when he's small
unless he has a lot of energy heheh
he likes sitting back and look at people being silly
always with a biiiig smile and clapping while laughing
but even though he's a calm soul, he loveslovesloves play fighting!!!
when he has to climb over someone to get something or try to grab it from their hand as they're keeping it from him
idk,, he loves doing that, he finds it so much fun!!
if it goes on for long enough and he starts to get frustrated he might,,,
stomp his tiny foot and cross his arms, exaggerated pout on his lips :(((
he also just likes playing pretend
sometimes he's someone from a movie (most likely a superhero)
but sometimes he'll just be anything that he can think of
a dog, a bull, maybe even a dragon
he's been a bull a few times, loving the reactions he gets when he runs head-first into someone's legs hehh
also,, if he's going somewhere with someone
holding hands is a requirement!!
he will not go if one of his hands aren't being held
if you want a happy cutie chan, feed him
he'll most likely show you his adorable lil happy dance
wiggling his body
beware though, because he has a habit of playing with his food
so,, either contain him to an area where he can't do much damage or,,, be ready to clean up after him
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Minho
as a caregiver
i already wrote how i think he'd be like as a cg here
but i'll expand a bit more on some ideas ^^
being homeschooled by cg minho>>>>>>
tiny words of encouragement
you're working on a korean language book for kids
tracing over the characters in the book
spelling out some animals and simple words
like 안녕하세요 and 감사합니다
he sits behind you and runs his hand over your hair while he watches as you fill out the pages
so! much!! praise!!!
he'd probably smile and fluff your hair when you look to him to see if an answer you wrote down was correct
maybe even kiss your temple when you are working
just because you look SO CUTE while being concentrated
after you're finished and he has checked your worksheet for mistakes he says that it's time to go to the playground
as soon as he says the word 'playground' you're up and running after your jacket and shoes
you're always so excited to go to the playground
there's mostly empty when you go
minho somehow always knowing when there'll be no kids
so you get to go on the swings and the slide without having to wait, and there's no parents looking at you weird
you even get to play in the sandbox with minho :D
when regressed
he absolutely LOVES being called baby
his favourite thing to be called ever!!
better if it's in korean
"minho aegi~~"
gone is minho, melted away
right under 'being called baby' on his list of what he loves most in the world is being cuddled
every chance he gets, he WILL cuddle someone
he will pull you to him and lock around you, koala style
he loooves when he's the one being the little spoon
held so dearly
warmth all around him
then he really feels cared for
like nothing in this world can hurt him
small and soft and just tiny
he comes with small sound effects
barely audible but they're there
he mostly doesn't mean to let out the small sounds, it's just something he does when he's doing something while small
loves when you play with his hair,,
like make tiny ponytails or pigtails
he looks adorable and he knows it!!
will poke you at random
he just loves the weird look he gets when he pokes you and doesn't say anything
will be like :o or laugh at most things
very curious baby
will giggle randomly after saying something
you have no idea why he does this, but it's pretty cute hearing it
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Changbin
as a caregiver
i think he's not very outspoken about the care he shows as a caregiver
he'd rather be silent about any good deeds
like he'd do something for you without you realizing it and he'll just sit back and watch everything go smoothly with a smile
but with other caregivers he might share his concerns
he always thinks he can be a better caregiver, even if he's trying his best
he'd be the type to carry you in from the car if you've fallen asleep instead of waking you up
that's the best way to describe it
suddenly you wake up in your bed, last thing you remember is sitting in the car with binnie
and he won't acknowledge it if you don't do it first
he'd gladly lend his body to you if it makes you comfortable
you need a lap to sleep in? he's sitting down for you to use his immediately
you feel a bit cold? he's hugging you tight from behind to share his body heat
you're in need of something to hug? well, his arm is free and there for you to use for all your hugging needs
the second you're left alone for some reason, he'd have an itch to constantly check up on you to make sure you're alright
other caregivers might look at him and think that he's a bad caregiver because he doesn't coddle you and interact with you all the time
but the more they see him in action, the more they see that he always puts his baby's needs first, before anything else
he'd let you use his body as a tree to climb if you got too much energy
he'd also never get mad at you
if he can feel himself get irritated, he takes a breather bc he knows he can look really scary when he's mad and he never wants you to be scared, especially when you're regressed
when regressed
okay but little binnie is a jokester
he likes pulling his hyungs or caregiver(s) along with his little shenanigans without telling them anything
he's also LOUD
like very very loud
and hyper, but mostly loud
like, you'll never doubt that he's feeling small, just bc of the sheer volume this boy has
he likes hugs and skinship but gets easily flustered when that happens in front of other people he may consider his friends in headspace or people he looks up to
but he's also a little silly about it
like, as soon as someone cuddles him in any way, he'd run off, acting like it's the most outrageous thing ever
but when he turns around and sees he isn't being followed with the "threat" of more cuddles, he seeks the person who tried to cuddle him again, looking for more, secretly loving the closeness
but if he's sad or hurt you better give him hugs and cuddles STAT
he needs the tight hugs and the patting on his back with small shushes, or else he will NEVER feel good again (that's how he feels anyway)
his voice is DEFINITELY lighter when he feels small
like, he sounds so cute, no matter if he baby talks or not, just bc his voice is so light and he giggles loads :(((
he's also talking about himself in third person a lot
"can binnie have-" "changbinnie baby"
also, cute noises galore
those cute noises are mostly "da"
and he'll say them randomly and sometimes when he doesn't wanna say actual words
then it's his caregiver(s)' job to find out what the meaning behind "da!" is this time
and he's a v v scared baby, so remember to choose cartoons and movies and such carefully bc you might end up with a crying binnie or a binnie with nightmares
also, please give this boy a fidget toy
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Hyunjin
as a caregiver
hyunjin,,, he's the type to baby you so much that you become very much dependent on him
changbin was the type to only fix problems when they presented themselves too much of a challenge for you?
well, hyunjin is the complete opposite
how dare there be anything in your way?
he'll fix all of your problems and then coo at you like you'd just experienced something bad
hyunjin with 1000% babytalk to you
i don't care that you may not regress young, he will babytalk you regardless
like,, the cringe way that you see those overly attached parents do to their spawn
he's also the type to have his entire focus on you
the building he's in could be burning and he wouldn't care bc you're there
...that's an exaggeration bc he'd save you from said burning building
bottom line is that he's not ever taking his eyes off you by his own free will
and if he can get away with it, he's definitely carrying you everywhere
he's also the first/only one i see being cool with being a caregiver for multiple littles
and he'll still try to give each one the same amount of attention, but he figures out at some point that it's just not possible
he'll still try though
he's the type to yell
but in fake/silly anger
"Yah!! why is my baby so adorable when asking for ice cream for dinner?! how can i say no to that when they're so cute??!! aaaahhh!!!"
he just loves his baby a lot (maybe too much) and he's not afraid to show and/or yell it to the world
when regressed
i don't know what it is about small hyunjin or why he's like this, but a big thing for him when he's little is saying small things in english
maybe it's the praise that goes along with it when he does it
maybe it's bc it's a language he's not the best at, so he feels smaller
but sometimes he'd just say some small english sentence, looking around at the people around him when he's done
he loves oversized clothing when he's small
he wants to be able to pitch his sweatshirts like a tent, that's how big he wants them
sometimes he wants them so much that if there aren't any oversized clothes for him to wear, he threatens you with not wearing clothes at all until he gets to wear a huge hoodie or something like that
he's a brat and loves teasing people but as soon as there's a chance of there being some sort of consequence for his actions, he's apologizing profusely and backtracking
either that or he's doubling down
it can be either in any given situation, you can never predict how he'll react
he's cute and he knows it, but if anybody else calls him cute he finds somewhere to hide
mostly under blankets but sometimes you'll also find him under the couch
completely flustered
he's almost always giggling
hiiiiigh giggles
cute n light
and he keeps jumping around, like a little bunny, mostly when he doesn't know what to do with himself
i feel like someone who'd be well equipped to handle him when he's small, would be minho
whether he's hyunjin's caregiver or just an uncle type, he's the one who can read hyunjin the best and deals with his antics effortlessly
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Jisung
as a caregiver
physically reassuring !!!!!!
as a caregiver, he loves making sure his baby is okay by holding their hand,, placing a hand on their shoulder or back, or maybe even just hugging them
it's all to get their attention and feel him there
he does so much for his baby's sake, even if he doesn't really care for it
like, if you like a particular tv show but he doesn't, he'll go out of his way to watch it with you, just because he knows you enjoy it
he's also really good at giving praise
if he wants you to know that you did something that made him happy he'll say that ofc, but also the small things, like putting one of your toys away
"good job, baby!"
but if he's praised as a caregiver, make sure to keep an eye out for red ears, bc he's so easily flustered when the praise is for him
he may act like he's receiving it well and he's most likely like "of course, i'm the greatest caregiver of all time!" but his ears don't lie
he's silly but not in a very obvious way when he's in caregiver mode
he likes to make little jokes, inside jokes mainly, things he knows will get a laugh, to get his baby to giggle a bit and then he goes back for more cuddles
he tries to be so brave for his baby when it comes to animals, but when you're not looking, he lets out his scared expressions
he complains a bit if his baby wants to look at or touch creepy crawlers, but he will never limit your curiosity
he will usually just keep a good distance, himself
he may forget the small details sometimes
like, if you don't like peas or if you prefer your drink a special way
but he always knows things like how to make you happy, how to comfort you when you're sad
and when you know stuff like that, the little things don't matter all that much
when regressed
clumsy clumsy baby
like, if you go out with him, parks are probably the best bc then he has something soft to fall on when he stumbles
flappy hands when he's excited
now, because of his social anxiety, jisung needs extra special care when he's regressed
he needs personal grounding methods, an emergency plan for panic attacks and a list of comfort items
he also does better if he has one primary caregiver
then he knows who to go to and they'd know how to handle bad moments
a grounding method of his is probably the 54321 method
yk, list 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can touch around you, 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste
though, he does need to be guided through that, which is why a caregiver for him is a little essential
at least a babysitter
his caregiver/babysitter also has to make sure he has mobile games available or a hand console for video games
while he may not regress very young, he still needs a lot of care, equivalent to the care someone regressed younger would need
i imagine him being non-verbal if he's not somewhere he's comfortable and with people he trusts completely
so, a lot of tugging on clothes when he needs attention or tapping his cg's shoulder
very very easy to tears
bc when he's regressed, he doesn't hold anything back
it's his safe space to do so
also, pls pls pls bring his stuffie wherever you go
one he can hug when he's overwhelmed or feeling the need to self-soothe
overall happy baby unless he's in an uncomfortable environment with people he doesn't know
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Felix
as a caregiver
felix is such a sensitive person
like, we all know he's a big sunshine but he's also blames himself a lot and feels guilty easily
so, he might need to be reassured a lot that he's doing a good job
otherwise he might start thinking that he's a bad caregiver and isolate himself
he'd have some idea of what to do when caring for someone younger, as he does have a little sister, but he's also the middle child, so he would probably need a bit of help
i'm thinking that, yes, he'd take care of things like making you snacks, helping you with clothes, and all the other essential things, but as more of an older brother type of caregiver than as a parental figure
his go-to thing to do with you is cuddle
cuddle while watching tv, cuddle while reading books, cuddle while getting you to sleep/waking you up, it's just his favourite way to do anything
he's also rly possessive over you, so it just works out rly well if you're constantly in his arms
if his members were to talk to you when you're regressed or baby you, even if you weren't regressed, he'd quickly bring is arms around you, pouting that you're his
one of his other fave things to do with you is 'beauty salon'
you get all kinds of creative freedom with putting nail polish and makeup on him
when you're done, sitting in anticipation, waiting for him to pick up the mirror and tell you what he thinks, he always makes sure to be 'pleasantly surprised'
he knows, of course, that it wouldn't be anywhere near the professional looks he gets in comebacks and such, but he always loves what you do
(and even if it looks absolutely terrible, he always finds at least one thing to praise)
when regressed
so, have we all seen him patting himself to self-soothe? bc i have
anxious little bean
he just wants to be comforted more than anything
he will cling onto his caregiver at any given chance, but sometimes doubt gets the best of him and he thinks that people around him hate that he's this clingy
and then he tries his best to self-soothe with touch he remembers being comforting
like wrapping his arms around himself
or, in situations where he's trying to be lowkey or feels a bit worse about himself, he pats or strokes his hair
be on the lookout for these !!!!!! bc that means that he needs a prescription of ALL THE HUGS!!!!
cuddle piles are the best
he might also try to lighten his voice bc it doesn't sound right in his ears to have such a deep voice when being 4 or so years old
just making sure that he knows he doesn't have to do it and that's he's a tiny kid regardless should do the trick
oh yeah, and remember those animal onesies that were rly popular some years ago? the rly soft and snuggly ones? (ahem i have 3 ahem)
he will practically live in one if he had the chance
even better if the one he got is of a kangaroo
bc he miss home and then he got extra pockets heheh
he's the kind to silently tuck himself into his caregiver's side
like, under the cg's arm and head tucked into a crevice, most likely the chest or neck
and, for some reason, that mostly happens in the kitchen, when the cg is cooking something
speaking of kitchen!! he loooves baking cake with his cg
it's a time where he can have a dance party while baking and maybe even have a flour fight and then end up with delicious baked goodness
and if his cg tells him he can't have cake as a snack all the time, that's okay!!
he likes fruit too when he's regressed, so give him the job of rinsing the fruit while an 'adult' cuts it, and he'll be very content with that
also, be patient with him when he's just woken up bc he's pretty dazed
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Seungmin
as a caregiver
very very soft-spoken
could look like he's just a pushover bc he lets his baby get away with a lot of things
but he does have a limit
people just aren't quick to notice bc he's very soft about it
when he says "no more" he says it quietly
he doesn't need it to be broadcasted to anybody who isn't the one he's saying it to
and that's partly why his baby listens to him so well
he doesn't make a big scene about when his boundaries have been met, nor does he put you on the spot
he handles things privately and quietly
doesn't mean he isn't filled with sass that is ready to be unleashed at any moment
i don't think he'd sass his baby too much, but he'd sass his members a bit extra when you're around bc you always giggle and clap your hands at it
and maybe once in a while you'd also sass his members
the reaction from him is a bit of pride but most of all he thinks it's funny, when you haven't crossed a line
the other members can't believe how much his sassy nature has rubbed off on you though
the look at you and him in shock, mouths wide open while seungmin just smiles and shrugs
always has his camera ready for shooting some pictures of his baby
probably has a whole photo album just of his baby when they're regressed
his favourite thing is to take you to the aquarium or to the zoo
just somewhere you don't normally go
and then he gets to take pics of you being fascinated by all the things around you
when regressed
i feel like seungmin is the most independent when regressed
most times he's just in his own little world
he doesn't need a whole lot
of course, it'd be nice to not have to do things like cook for yourself, but when snacks exist and when you can buy entire meals, finished
he's old enough to work a microwave when he's regressed
so really, he doesn't need a cg
wouldn't complain if one fell into his lap though
that doesn't mean he doesn't thoroughly enjoy it when there are people around him
he loves being a little menace to his hyungs
so so so giggly!!
like, he giggles almost all the time when he's small
when he's watching tv, when he's eating, when he's running around, etc.
he doesn't treat stuffed animals all that nicely...
maybe it's because he's a little older than most of the group when they're regressed
he might, once in a while, like to cuddle with a soft stuffed animal when he's going to sleep but other than that, nah
he just pokes them in their eyes, pulls on their ears, just doing something that would make other littles gasp in horror
he's the only one where i'm pretty certain he also pet regresses
or at least likes to pretend that he's a puppy when he's regressed, i don't know but he's a tiny puppy sometimes
which means being even rougher with the stuffed animals, because if he can fit even an arm or ear of the plushie into his mouth, it's getting chewed on and roughed up
you know the way that dogs swing a toy around when they're playing?
yeah....
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Jeongin
as a caregiver
if you don't care about if your stuff gets dropped or maybe ruined, go ahead and give them to jeongin
but um,, don't give him stuff that breaks easily
he's broken a few of his baby's figurines and it's rly a wonder that it happens sometimes
there's a shortage of bowls that aren't made out of plastic
so, he may be the caregiver, but you really look out for each other, since he needs a hand too
he loves singing songs to have his baby dance to them
(it's mostly gonna be trot songs, and if you complain enough; trot versions of skz's songs)
as he's not in a position to take care of anybody usually, yk with being the youngest in the group, he's not too sure in a caregiving role
he'd probably be more at ease being called a baby sitter, instead of a caregiver, as he usually just feels like he's making sure no fatal accidents happen on his watch
and that the house is relatively clean in the process
you'd think he may not be one for a lot of hugs and cuddles, but i'd say almost the opposite
idk, there's just something about being the one to take care of another person instead of being the youngest that makes him wanna cuddle his baby
not a lot but enough
like, for movies or when you ask for cuddles on nights you can't sleep
and ofc he'll hug you if you asked for it (of if you're too adorable for him to stop himself but shhh)
i think one part of being a caregiver that he rly excels at is brushing teeth
he'll be so careful when brushing his baby's teeth
he knows how to angle the toothbrush to get all the crevices from years of figuring out how to effectively brush his teeth with braces
and he knows how it can hurt if people are not careful when dealing with teeth and gums so he's super gentle
when regressed
now, not to be harsh
but he's a little shit
and he knows he's safe when he's regressed bc no one would dare hurt him when he's small
so he won't even get the usual shoulder punch he'd get when he isn't regressed
and he's about to make that fact everyone's problem
and when he knows he's on the verge of a punishment, he runs to hyunjin to save him
and he does. every. single. time
baby jeongin eats a lot and he does it quickly
you've made him a snack and turn around for a second to get some for yourself?
he's already finished and asking for more
you fear that one day he'll get an upset stomach bc of the speed of which he's eating but that day never comes
fortunately for you
if you want a little baby innie who's just cute and sweet and adorable, then you have to be there when he's just woken up
he's just soft and fuzzy there, just a tiny baby
when it's time for bed, he's also a bit quieter and lowkey
you tend to be that way after a whole day of annoying everyone around you
it's draining
but it's one of his cg's favourite time of the day
he's still a silly little boy, but he's more prone to doing what's asked of him
like, he'll be all silly, making jokes and talking back but when you ask him to raise his arms to get him in pajamas, he'll do it
the same with going to sleep
he's not a difficult one to get to go to sleep
he just needs a night light and sweet words beforehand and then he's good to go to dreamland
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A/N: this took me sooo long to finish, i'm so so sorry for the wait. i love doing headcanons bc i put a lot of thought and research into it, but it's also a lot of work, especially when it's an entire group and for both the caregiving and age regressing side PHEW i hope you enjoy it though!!
also, pls don't come for me, these were just some small thoughts on how i think they might be. i'd say i don't know them well enough to come to these conclusions easily, so yeah
feedback would be awesome if you could spare a second <3
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kakusu-shipping · 6 months ago
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The Rising Volt Tacklers as Caregivers
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(this post is specifically about the adults, if you wanna know my hcs for Liko, Roy, and Dot or any of the Pokemon of the crew as CGs or Regressors feel free to ask)
Friede is a very adaptable Caregiver. Whatever kind of little you are, he can match. He's best when winging it, so not much for schedules. He's surprisingly a big stickler for rules, like no baby on the top deck unsupervised, because those kinds of things are there to keep you Safe. When not with the little he's a massive worry wort, you're constantly on his mind even when left with someone else. He's just concerned you're not having a good time. Sensitive babies make him anxious, he desperately wants to avoid making them cry but.. He can be a lot.
Murdock loves a little he can hold on his hip. He loves to cook with and for littles, watch them eat, clean them up if they make a mess. He'll experiment and try all sorts of things for you if you're a picky eater, anything for his baby. This man has baby fever like you wouldn't believe. Ten THOUSAND photos of his baby on his rotom phone, at least. He's who Friede goes to if he makes the baby cry on accident, because he is a master of stopping water works. He's the best there is. I think the only kind of little he'd struggle with is someone who's grumpy or fussy no matter what, mostly because he'd take it very personally and be very broken up about it, worried about being a bad caregiver. He'd go crazy trying to become the perfect CG.
Orla doesn't really know the Dos and Don'ts of babycare. What do you MEAN a baby can't held disassemble an alarm clock? That's what she was doing as a kid! You have to be a very specific kind of little to find Orla's baby activities entertaining, as she completely does her own thing with you along for the ride. Like Murdock she can very easily pick you up, at least, though she's less on her hip and more a piggy back kind of gal. You're at high risk of boo-boos running around with Orla, luckly she always carry's bandages and gives the BEST healing kisses.
Mollie seems like the type who's really awkward around kids under a certain age. She's not a baby person, she does not want to hold the baby she does not want to baby talk the baby, she thinks they're kinda yucky and a pain, no offense. She does better with older kids she could have a conversation with, but even then she's entirely too polite and might snap someone out of littlespace by talking to them like an adult. The ONLY time she's good with a little is when they've regressed while sick. She's a doctor and she takes that role very seriously, so if you need to be baby talked into taking medicine, or blown raspberries while she's taking your temperature, she'll do it, and you might even catch a little genuine smile on her face while she does.
Ludlow is a very go with the flow kind of CG. He does best with a stationary little, a baby having tummy time or someone so sleepy they just can't seem to move. He tells stories in a very soothing voice, and offers the best hugs and comfort on the ship. Though again, he's really only good with a baby willing to sit and stay with him. If you were to get up and start waddling away, he'd follow until the two of you come across someone to take over for him and return to his fishing spot. He also could easily pick you up and hold you on his hip.
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clovers-housetree · 3 months ago
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Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)
(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)
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This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.
Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:
Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!
I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.
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I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^
Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.
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♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!
With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!
For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!
Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!
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♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)
I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!
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♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!
Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!
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(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)
You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0
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♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!
Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3
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Finch
Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!
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You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!
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Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!
They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3
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This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6
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It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!
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"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"
"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"
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michelangleo · 9 months ago
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What helps me as an age regressor who has nightmares:
I set my stuffies up all around me, so they can guard me while I sleep (stuffies are the best protectors)
I use multiple nightlights, so there's no dark corners
I'm a cold sleeper so I sleep with multiple blankets, and when I'm completely covered up no one can get me
If you're a hot sleeper, I wake up in cold sweat sometimes, I'll sleep with just my feet covered, and it still makes me feel safer
I recommend bed tents, you can put fairy lights inside and be completely protected without having to use blankets
I make a nest to sleep in
Sometimes when the nightmares are really bad I'll sep up alarms during the night, works best if you're a light sleeper (which I am not)
Regressing before bed helps me, but often it's hard when I'm already scared to go to sleep
Watch your favorite show, or little show to help you regress and fall asleep (I leave on cartoons sometimes all night)
Pick a new stuffie every night to sleep with, or have a dedicated stuffie you sleep with every night, and imagine them as your protector in your dreams, at the very least it helps me fall asleep not scared
I use a comfort item, this could also be a stuffie, but I use a paci
For sometimes padded regressors, make sure you go potty before bed, don't learn the hard way like I did
Your favorite, non-caffeinated drink, warm milk, or in my case I drink chocolate milk (If I was a caregiver I would say no sugary drinks either, but I am an regressor with no caregiver so I will drink apple juice before bed if I want to lol)
Listen to white noise, or in my case I listen to piano music
Feel free to add please
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marvelfanfics1 · 30 days ago
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Too Naive?
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Pairing: daddy!rafe x maybank!little!reader
Warnings: POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR OBX4 (not really since I changed the dialogue a little but still)!! age regression, rafe being rafe, ruthie, reader is jj's twin, hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, the pogues know reader regresses, cursing
A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written, phew. This was supposed to be a drabble btw 🫣 word count: 2324
⋆。‧˚ʚ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ɞ˚‧。⋆
As you made your way to the yacht club you smiled the whole way there, anticipating the exciting news Rafe wants to tell you about.
Your smile only grows when you find Rafe standing with Topper, both nursing their drinks and your face fell a little when Topper's girlfriend Ruthie joins at his side.
"Oh babe, I was just talking to Rafe how we're gonna screw the pogues and make amends." Topper tells her and she clinks her glass with his.
"Oh I'll drink to that. Not sure Rafe will though." She says before taking a sip from her straw.
Rafe narrows his eyes in confusion at that as he is about to raise his glass to his lips. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean your girlfriend, right?"
You furrow your brows at the mention of you, hiding a little by the entrance to eavesdrop.
"Y/n? What about her?" Rafe asks and Ruthie grimaces a little with a hiss.
"She's pretty pogue isn't she? And too childish for someone like you." She explains.
Your whole mood changes when you hear that, expecting Rafe to defend you now but after the moment of silence your heart drops at his answer.
"She is a bit naive but just because we hook up doesn't mean it's anything serious." He replies and your whole world crumbles just like that.
You thought it was something serious, that you could trust him with your life, and you did exactly that by telling him about your regression.
The memory of him assuring you that it's okay, that he's gonna be there for you and gradually take the role as your caregiver but Rafe being Rafe he doesn't understand the importance of what that means to you.
It took you so much courage to even tell him and now hearing him say that breaks your heart. You feel stupid for being so open the second someone gives you a sense of security. JJ always tells you to watch with whom you share your secrets with but you thought it was different with Rafe.
Maybe Rafe is right, you were so naive to think that he loves you for who you are.
You simply turn around and leave, trying to push back the tears that threaten to slip as you make your way to the only place you know no one will judge you and the only person who knows how to comfort you right now.
⋆。‧˚ʚ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ɞ˚‧。⋆
Wrapping your arms around yourself you keep walking for a while, a warm feeling filling your chest as you approach your childhood home that your brother and the pogues morphed into an actual home now.
You haven't been here for a while, completely wrapped in your lovesick bubble with Rafe that you slightly feel bad for neglecting your true family for something that was bound to collapse as your brother would say.
From the distance you can see them all mingle around their freshly opened shop, crossing the dock.
The first person to notice you is John B, a smile forming on his face at the sight of you, quickly closing the distance between the two of you. "Look who it is! My favorite Maybank twin!"
You can't help but give him a small smile as well, wrapping your arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around your waist, spinning you both one time.
The second he sets you back down you see JJ behind him, feeling the tears build up again. He instantly notices that, a sad frown on his face he pulls you into his embrace.
"Wanna talk?" He whispers and you nod against him, gripping his shirt tightly. "C'mon, let's get on The Snapper, haven't seen the beauty yet, have you?"
You pull back, smiling again when he takes his hat off to place it on your head, keeping an arm around your shoulders.
He leads you towards the boat, helping you get on he turns to address the others. "You guys gonna be okay for a while without your captain?"
They all give him different types of agreement, some giving verbal responses and others just holding a thumbs up.
With that JJ gets behind the wheel, stirring away from the dock while you sit close, enjoying the pleasant breeze of the afternoon.
After a while, your brother slows down the boat, going to sit beside you he sees you fumble with the ear of your lamb plushie.
"What happened..." He finally asks, his voice quiet and gentle.
You recount everything that happened back at the yacht club, starting to sniffle the more you tell him. JJ stands up, pacing in front of you and running a hand through his tousled hair.
"That bastard." He curses and you lift your head with a frown.
"Jay...m'little." You mumble, looking back down at the lamb in your lap. This stuffed animal represents your journey with Rafe since you confessed being a little to him as it's the first thing he bought you after you told him.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just-" he groans in frustration, sitting back down next to you.
"Jus' say it..."
JJ looks at you, confusion written in his face. "Say what?"
"You warned me dis would happen..." You hiccup and he quickly pulls you more into his side, feeling you wrap your arms around him, squeezing him tightly.
"Oh, kiddo...that doesn't mean I enjoy seeing you upset." He comforts you, his hand moving up and down your back to soothe you. "It'll be alright."
Finally all your emotions pour over and you start to cry against your brother's shoulder, your body shaking from the force of your sobs.
A few hours later you are dressed in some comfortable pajamas, all snuggled up with Sarah, Kie, and Cleo outside on a couch that's standing near a crinkling fireplace, a weighted blanket covering you four and your lamb tucked under your chin while the boys are being their usual self, drinking beers and listening to music.
You have put your phone on silent, ignoring all messages and missed calls from Rafe but you did inform him that you're here, nothing more, so he doesn't think the worst by you not responding.
⋆。‧˚ʚ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ɞ˚‧。⋆
Rafe was pacing back and forth in the living room, nibbling on the nail of his thumb, looking down at the phone in his hand and not so patiently waiting for you to call or just answer his messages.
He stares at the screen, waiting for the three dots to appear that indicates you are texting, but nothing. He curses when he tries to call you for like the 30th time and it instantly goes to voicemail.
"Call me back when you hear this I- please." He speaks into his phone, his other hand running over his buzzed head anxiously.
Pulling his phone away from his ear he stops his pacing, coming to a stop in front of the dresser that has a few picture frames decorated on the top.
He glances at the one that held a picture of him and Sarah when they were kids, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over him.
Family is the most important thing. Take care of each other.
His father's words echo in his head. Rafe crosses his arms, letting out a long exhale. He looks at a picture of the both of you where he's hugging you from behind, your bright smile being the exact thing he wishes he could see right now.
He still doesn't know what's going on with you, why you're distancing yourself from him and he desperately wants to fix it but when he turns to look at the clock and sees how late it is he knows you're already asleep by now.
⋆。‧˚ʚ ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ɞ˚‧。⋆
The next morning you get woken up by the sun shining through the thin blinds, hearing the birds chirping outside. You sit up with a sleepy grumble, rubbing the sleep from your eyes you reach over to grab your phone, still adjusting to the bright morning sun.
You sigh when you see the new calls and messages from Rafe but decide to ignore it, getting up from the comfort of your bed you make your way to the kitchen.
As you're about to open the fridge you can hear some commotion coming from outside and go to check what's going on, freezing in the front doorway when you see Rafe and JJ going at each other's throats while John B and Pope are holding back your brother to probably prevent him from beating Rafe into a pulp.
"She doesn't wanna fucking see you!" JJ shouts and you walk down the steps, everyone turning to face you at hearing your footsteps.
Rafe is relieved to see you're okay, physically at least, not knowing the actual damage he has done by what he said to Topper and Ruthie.
"Baby..." Rafe makes a move to approach you but JJ wrenches himself from the other's hold to stand in front of you.
"Don't even think about it. As much as I would love to beat you up right now, she somehow still cares about you what I don't get but don't push your luck." Your brother warns him, pulling you behind him protectively.
Rafe clenches his jaw, looking over JJ's shoulder at you, his chest feeling tight at the way you look at him and he can't decipher why. "Can we talk? I just...I want to understand-"
JJ is about to spit more insults at him when you place your hand on his arm to get his attention, muttering softly. "S'okay..."
He turns his head to meet your gaze. "Y'sure? You don't have to if you don't wanna."
You give him a small reassuring smile, nodding your head at him. He reluctantly steps aside, pointing a finger at Rafe. "We'll be right over there so don't think of anything stupid."
The pogues retreat a good amount of feet away and you turn your head to face Rafe again, the smile disappearing again and your expression somber.
"Listen I- I got this deal which looks promising in the future a-and when it's through we can build a house, together." Rafe rambles, fidgeting with his hands as he waits for your reaction. "I wanted to tell you yesterday but you didn't show up, ignoring me completely and I-" he laughs nervously.
"Oh I don't know, maybe I'm too naive or what was it again, childish." You try to keep up a tough exterior, crossing your arms but can't stop the trembling of your bottom lip.
His eyes widen a tad when you say that, the realization that you heard the conversation from yesterday feeling like a slap in the face.
"Yeah, I was there." You force out, your voice cracking slightly. "That you wouldn't live with a pogue 'cause you have standards."
Rafe for once in his life doesn't know how to respond. He takes a step closer to, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"But maybe you're right..." You chuckle sadly, starting to raise your voice. "I guess I was so naive to actually think you left that pogue and kook shit behind and love me for who I am!"
"Baby, listen-" he begins but you cut him off, lifting your hand to stop him mid sentence.
"Don't...don't call me that." You whisper.
"I fucked up, okay? What I said yesterday...it was wrong and I can't expect you to forgive me for that but believe me when I say that I realized this whole pogue or kook stuff doesn't matter to me anymore. I mean, my dad was born as a pogue, I shouldn't have cared before and I definitely don't now. I- I know I can't take back what I said and that you're hurt." He says, taking another step to stand right in front of you, leaning down a little to have direct eye contact with you he lifts his hands to place them on your arms.
Now you start to tear up from his touch alone, wanting nothing more than to find solace in his hold but refrain from moving a single muscle.
"I'm sorry, I truly am. I love you and I want to plan my future with you in it." He lowers his voice, grabbing your chin gently to lift your head.
You analyze his expression for any sign that he's lying or just trying to make you fall for it again but you can see the honesty in his eyes.
Biting your lip in hesitation, a single tear rolls down your cheek and Rafe is quick to wipe it away with his thumb, the action having you feel that familiar fuzzy feeling in your head. "Y-You pwomise?"
"I swear...the only thing I care about is you. I'll do better, I'll make up with Sarah and help the others out so you and your brother won't lose the property." He promises.
With a sniffle you finally wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. Rafe sighs, moving his arms around your frame as well, placing his chin on top of your head. "I love you so much you don't understand..."
"I love you too daddy..." You mumble into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him. "But I wan' that new jellycat bunny, the big one."
He chuckles at that. "Of course, that and anything else you want."
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Taglist
For everything:
@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse
@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu
For Rafe:
@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer
275 notes · View notes
purple-babygirl · 8 months ago
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don't call me daddy V
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader
Word count: 4,660
Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.
Warnings: crying, age regression, fluff, a little angst
A/N: i would like to give credits for this part and its idea to🦊nonnie because without her ask there might've not been a fifth part to this story. Having said that, i'm thinking this should be the last part of the story because i am out of scenario your girl is empty. but anyway, please enjoy this one and have a tight hug xx💜💜
~
When they arrived back at her house, she was asleep in the passenger's seat.
Bucky didn’t want to wake her up. He knew she barely got any sleep last night because of the mean cough she was suffering from and so he carefully carried her inside without a word.
His heart kept speeding up every time he would remember what she called him after taking her shot as he slipped her feet out of her shoes and socks and tucked her in her bed.
He frankly had no idea what he would do if she was to wake up little and if he was ready to be a good daddy to her. What if he messed up again? He seemed to be a pro at that.
Luckily, when she woke up later that night, she was her big self again and didn’t seem to have any recollection of calling Bucky daddy, or if she did, she didn’t mention it.
Bucky gave her her cough syrup and the rest of the meds, helping her go back to sleep as he presumed his place on the floor by her bed.
In a way he couldn’t explain, even her coughs were more comfort than the silence at his house, and definitely more comfort than his nightmares.
It was 12 days of little sleep, a lot of crying, meds, movies and sleepovers until she was fully cured again, and even though Bucky hated that she was sick, those seemed to have been some of the best days he’s ever gotten to live since he’s come back to himself.
He got to laugh with someone, care for someone, comfort someone and enjoy the company of someone. And not just anyone; it was her.
But something was missing still.
Bucky wanted her to call him daddy. More than anything and from the bottom of his heart, he wanted to deserve that name, that role.
What Bucky had noticed in the days he’d stayed at her place was that she had no family pictures at all.
She had framed pictures of friends, of herself, of Corgi, but none of family members.
It didn’t come as a surprise because she’d mentioned it to him before, and he just knew that if he wanted to be her caregiver, her daddy, Bucky had to prove to her that he was nothing like those who’d hurt her. He had to prove himself worthy of taking care of her; set himself apart from them.
And to do that, he had to know more.
“I see no family pictures anywhere,” Bucky spoke as he helped her plant the new tulips she had in place.
“Yeah, we’re not close.” She shrugged, hand stuttering just the tiniest bit in their movements.
“Can I ask why?”
She sighed, “why?”
“I’m trying to learn from the mistakes of others.”
She laughed, “really?”
“Really.”
Oh, this wasn’t a joke?
“You know you don’t have to do that anymore, right?” She couldn’t understand why he would want to try again when the report was handed and he was let off the hook.
“I want to. I really want to.” Bucky wished his gloved hands weren’t muddy as they were so he could touch her face.
He found himself craving physical contact around her more often than not.
“You finally believe in the power of the program?” She teased, keeping her focus on the flowers she was rooting.
“No, I couldn’t care less about the institution and its programs.”
“Not even Mrs. Morrison?” She joked again.
“I’m serious, doll.”
“Why then?” She dropped the bulbs, deciding to face Bucky.
“I want it because it’s you I’ll be daddy to.”
“They never loved me for who I was.” She answered his previous question and Bucky felt a pang at his chest.
He had made her feel the same way.
He remained silent, not wanting to interrupt her in fear that she might stop.
“I always had to be a certain way, say certain things, act a certain way. Do what we say and then we’ll see if we can love you.”
Bucky might’ve been speechless, but his eyes spoke a million words, begging hers for forgiveness for his ignorant mistakes.
“That’s why it hurt so much when you showed me you didn’t accept the little version of me.”
“I’m so sorry-”
She shook her head, stopping him.
“I’ve been rejected for too long, Bucky, too many times. It took me a good while to finally believe that I was worth loving despite my quirks, ugly parts and possible mistakes. Took too long to teach myself that it didn’t matter if I cried all the time, was too clingy or too talkative; I was still lovable.” She pointed to her chest as she finished her words.
Bucky took his gloves off, pulling her in for a hug, unable to stop himself anymore. He had no words, only anger and remorse raging inside his chest.
“It takes you a while to unlearn stuff you’ve been taught your whole life by the people who were supposed to love you the most.” She whispered into his shirt.
“Doll, I’m so sorry,” Bucky whispered back.
“It’s okay.” She looked up at him, “I appreciate you, Bucky, I really do, but I don’t think I’m ready to lose everything I’ve built inside me if you decide in the middle of it that you weren’t fully ready to take on such a responsibility. I forgive you. I promise. But I don’t trust you enough to give up full control of myself and my life to you again. I’m sorry.” She pulled away from the hug, giving Bucky the option to walk away.
“Don’t be. I understand.” He remained in place.
“Are you gonna disappear now?” She wondered with a sad smile.
“No, you’re not getting rid of me so easily.” Bucky returned the smile, putting his gloves back on.
She smiled gratefully, “I don’t wanna lose you either. You’re such a great friend. And I owe you forever for taking care of me those past few days.”
“What if I prove myself to you though?” Bucky asked, dipping a tulip bulb in the soil.
“What?” She tilted her head in confusion.
“What if I show you how serious I am about this and prove myself worthy of you?”
“Bucky, you don’t have to do that. I know you have a life, responsibilities-”
“I want to do it. There’s nothing more important to me right now than this. And you.”
“If you’re doing this just because you can’t accept that you failed the program-”
“I swear on my ma’s soul, I want to do this. Because of you, doll. For you and with you.”
The words died on her tongue as she watched his sincere eyes implore hers.
“Would you give me a chance to prove myself to you? Please?”
“Okay, Bucky.” She swallowed, “one chance.”
“That’s all I need.” Bucky smiled.
She was not sick anymore and he didn’t have a reason to stick around. He also didn’t want to push her on the matter of regressing, so, respectful of her boundaries, he left.
~
After their conversation in the garden, Bucky had to go home.
His heart was heavy when he entered his empty apartment to nothing and no one. Being alone in here wasn’t something he enjoyed anymore.
It has been 2 days of intense research that Bucky has conducted on age regression and partners in little space when she texted him that night.
“Mr. Barnes, can you please come over?”
He wasn’t particularly happy about the fact that he was Mr. Barnes again, but he certainly was happy that she thought to text him when little. This was an improvement and it counted to Bucky.
“Will be right there, doll.” He texted back, running to his motorcycle.
~
Bucky took in a deep breath before knocking at her door, ready to prove himself a suitable daddy.
She opened with teary eyes, making Bucky’s heart sink.
“What’s wrong, doll?” Bucky asked as he stepped inside.
“I can’t open the pickle jar and now my hands hurt,” she cried, showing him the insides of her palms and how red they were from trying so hard to twist the cap on the glass jar.
She was indeed a little worried that Bucky might find this stupid, that he might yell at her or get upset because she was crying over something minimal in his eyes.
But that wasn’t the case at all. The man was just thankful that she was alright.
“Oh, doll,” Bucky sighed in relief, glad that she wasn’t actually hurt.
Until he remembered that this was a big deal to her. Her hands hurt and she was frustrated because the cap wouldn’t budge.
Moments like these definitely required a daddy.
“I thought Mr. Barnes could help,” she sniffled, her hand wiping under her nose, “metal arm.” She touched his gloved hand.
Bucky chuckled, taking the pickle jar out of her hand, “what if I can do it without the metal arm? What would you give me in return?”
“The biggest pickle?” She offered, wiping her tears away from her eyes, her crying stopping at once.
Bucky laughed at her innocence, “no, I want something else, doll.”
She tilted her head expectantly.
What could Mr. Barnes possibly want? Did he want the whole jar? Would he at least leave her one pickle? She was craving pickles-
“I want you to start calling me Bucky again. No more Mr. Barnes. Can you do that for me, doll?”
Oh, that was something she could do.
“Only if you can open the jar with your not metal hand,” she challenged, her little mind amazed by the idea because look at her hand! It had red marks all over when she tried opening that jar.
“You got it,” Bucky said, easily twisting the cap on the jar open, making her mouth open with it.
“Woah,” she whispered as Bucky handed her the jar with a laugh.
“You’re welcome, doll.” He smiled, watching her chew on a crunchy pickle.
“Thank you, Bucky.” She smiled back, offering him a big pickle.
Bucky’s nerves tingled, knowing he was one step closer to her and his desired title.
~
Moving forward, Bucky learned to distinguish between her big self and little self through texts.
Her little self would always talk about him and herself in third person.
Plus, her big self always needed help with bigger things like needing Bucky to fix her sink or look at her car, knowing he might burn down the city if she went back to asking Adam for help with those things.
Her little self, on the other hand, would need help with the lighter things, the sweeter things. She would call asking for help with Corgi, something too high on a shelf or even just wanting Bucky’s company.
Tonight was one of those nights.
It was thundering more than usual and Bucky had wanted to go and be with her, but he didn’t want to invade her privacy.
But then she called and her scared voice saying his name had Bucky moving even before she uttered the words.
He was proud that she now knew that he was just only one call away; that he would come running whenever she needed. She could finally count on him to be there for her and he couldn’t be more contented.
He knew that consistency was important in relationships, especially one where she was little.
“Hey, doll, it’s okay. It’s just a little thunder,” Bucky cooed, rubbing her back as she let him inside.
“I’m not scared anymore now that Bucky is here.” She smiled, her breathing visibly slowing down.
“Well, I’m staying the night so you have nothing to worry about,” he chuckled, following her to the bedroom.
“Bucky covered his motorcycle?” she asked, worried his vehicle would get ruined.
“Leave that for now, we’ll hose it down together tomorrow when it’s sunny.”
“Corgi loves the hose,” she spoke out the first thought that came to her mind and Bucky loved it, laughing heartily at her comment.
The dog’s ears perked at the sound of his name, jumping at Bucky’s feet as soon as he entered the bedroom, waiting for his share of pets.
He bent down to give the dog some love when he heard her sigh.
“Corgi loves Bucky too.” She smiled shyly, internally wishing her name was Corgi.
“Bucky loves Corgi right back,” Bucky whispered, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
She only smiled bigger, running to her bed and getting under the covers.
When Bucky got down to sleep on the floor that night, however, she slipped off her bed and right next to him.
“Doll, the floor is too cold for you. Sleep on your bed, come on.” Bucky sat up, wanting to help her up on the bed again but she wouldn’t move.
“Wanna be next to Bucky,” she said with a pout.
“But-”
“I know Bucky can’t sleep on beds. It’s okay. Doll will sleep here,” she told him, squeezing Wolfie in her arms.
Bucky’s heart fluttered and it made his mind light up with an idea only a true daddy would have.
“Do you wanna build a fort?” He suggested and her face instantly beamed with a smile as she nodded.
Of course she did!
That night as Bucky gathered all of her soft blankets to make her a floor mattress inside a fort full of fluffy pillows, he knew he was smitten.
This girl had him head over heels for her and there was nothing in the world that he wouldn’t do just to see her smile.
“Can Bucky please tell me a story?”
“Sure, doll. Do you have any books I can read to you from?”
“I have books that big me likes but I don’t want those.”
“What would you like then?”
“I want a story that is Bucky’s. Tell me a story you didn’t tell anyone at the institution.”
Oh, she was jealous. The thought made Bucky smile as he pulled the covers up to her neck to make sure she was warm down on the floor.
“Okay, you ready?” Bucky asked, dimming the lights in her room.
She made herself comfortable under the covers, big eyes watching Bucky’s handsome grin as the cozy atmosphere he’s created comforted her through the storm, “ready.”
“Once upon a time, there was a small idiot who picked up fights with boys much bigger than himself. His name was Steve…”
Bucky fell asleep with his hand stroking her hair, watching her soft breaths leave her chest that night without abruptly waking up in the middle of it for the first time in forever.
~
Bucky didn’t know what it was like to be her, but he was going to do his best to put himself in her shoes like she’d previously tried.
She deserved to be fully and entirely understood.
He witnessed a glimpse of her feelings towards the concept of family a couple of times when they would watch movies like The Lion King or Lilo and Stitch.
She didn’t seem to be affected by the death of Mufasa even though he knew her to be a very sensitive little. She was sad for Simba, of course, but not for Mufasa’s demise. Similarly with Lilo and Stitch, she didn’t care much about the concept of the family.
There was an actual barrier separating her from experiencing any positive feelings that came with the idea of family. Because she had none to associate with hers.
With some more research, Bucky managed to find a few animated movies that didn’t seem to revolve around the idea of family love and how family was everything and whatnot.
One of those movies was The Willoughbys. The movie depicted how neglecting some parents can be and that 2 people loving each other and getting married didn’t necessarily mean they would love their children too.
It was a very unique movie and Bucky was actually happy they could make such movies nowadays.
When the song I Choose You started playing in the movie, Bucky felt her small hand squeezing into a fist.
He silently wrapped his hand around hers, offering quiet comfort and support.
“Bucky chooses you, doll. Wholeheartedly.” Bucky reassured, bringing her knuckles to his lips.
He looked down to see tears in her innocent eyes as she showed her feelings for the first time during one of their movie nights.
“Bucky chooses me?” she croaked, lip trembling as she cried.
“I choose Bucky, too.” She pulled him down by one cheek to leave a kiss on the other.
Bucky froze.
It was the first time she’s kissed him since he applied that cream on her burnt hand back at his house. She did it on her own, too.
“And I choose Corgi,” she said, running her fingers through the hair of the puppy sleeping soundly on her lap.
“That’s right, and Corgi chooses you. Family doesn’t have to be the ones you were born with, doll,” Bucky told her as he wiped her tears away, “you can choose the family you want for yourself”.
“Thank you, Bucky.” She hugged him tight, afraid he might not be real and that this moment is all made up.
“You’re welcome, doll.” Bucky kissed the side of her head as they pulled away.
“Can I choose Adam, too?” She asked, voice barely above a whisper as she gauged Bucky’s reaction.
She could actually hear his chest rumble with a low “argh” before he nodded despite himself, making her giggle.
“Don’t worry. I only have one Bucky.” She reassured, slinging her arm around Bucky’s metal one.
One daddy, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t. She was still scared.
~
Bucky knew that she needed her own independent time alone sometimes even when little, and he would allow her just that, texting throughout the day just to make sure she was okay, reminding her to drink water and take care of herself.
But there was one particularly hard weekend when she felt real down about some of her plants dying as the storm took them out of the ground.
When she opened the door she was clearly disheveled, hair all messy and looking like it hadn’t been brushed all week.
“Hey, doll,” Bucky spoke gently as he closed the door behind him.
She quickly ran into his arms, needing the comfort more than anything, “my plants are dead and Corgi peed on my new carpet and my hair doesn’t smell like shampoo anymore and I’m-”
Damn. She was spiraling. She just slipped out of his hug and on the floor. Oh no.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here now and I got you, okay?” Bucky tried his best to reassure her, getting on his knees before her to look into her eyes.
“Okay,” she hiccupped, nodding even though she wasn’t fully convinced.
“What happened to the plants?” Bucky wanted to handle her concerns one at a time.
“My apple trees were pulled out of place because of the storm,” she started sobbing again as she remembered what had happened to her hard word.
“Okay, okay, tell you what, I’ll put them back in place, okay?”
“Really?” She sniffed.
“Really.” Bucky smiled kindly.
“Okay.” She nodded, trying to control her breathing.
“And we’ll throw the new carpet in the washing machine, and keep Corgi in his playpen with pee pads,” Bucky gave her the steps of how the day was going to go, leading her by the hand to where Corgi was.
“Okay.” She nodded again, her tears ceasing.
“And while the carpet is being washed, I’ll help you wash your hair. Does that sound okay?” Bucky asked her permission, wanting to make sure she was completely comfortable.
“Yes.” She was finally smiling again as well.
“Okay, let’s get you in here,” Bucky told the puppy before placing him inside his playpen.
He spread a few sheets on which the dog could pee if needed before collecting the affected mat.
“Let’s take this to the washing machine,” Bucky voiced his movements, wanting to put her at ease as he kept her hand in his and walked with her to the bathroom.
“In you go.” Bucky threw the rug inside the washing machine along with some detergent.
“Now what do we do?” He asked her, wanting to keep her out of her head.
“Wash doll’s hair?” She asked with half a smile.
“That’s right, get in there.” Bucky tilted his head towards the bathtub with a smile.
~
And for some reason, it was different this time. He didn’t feel all weird seeing her naked. Maybe it was because he knew her better this time and was familiar with her in more ways than one that such intimacy didn’t startle him.
He wasn’t sure, but Bucky wasn’t complaining, only grateful as she closed her sweet eyes and trusted him to wash her hair for her.
“Alright, show me how it’s done,” Bucky encouraged, instructing her to whip her hair to the front so he could wrap the towel around it.
She did as told with a giggle, dangling her hair before her and letting Bucky wrap it up the best he could.
“Off to the couch.” Bucky chuckled as he watched her skip in her cashmere bathrobe to her couch.
Later after Bucky has brushed her hair for her, he helped her get dressed and they went outside together to replant the fallen apple saplings the wind had knocked down just like he'd promised.
The smile on her face was new and unmatched as she watched Bucky handle her plants with care.
“Thank you, Bucky.” She hugged him close, hardly wanting to let go as they stood in the middle of her garden.
Bucky was now rooted in her heart just like the plants in her garden were in their soil.
She didn’t think she could be away from him anymore. She didn’t want to be away from him anymore.
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” she whispered timidly as they started walking back to the house.
“What do you want on your piz- what did you say?” Bucky stopped in his tracks.
“I’m hungry.” She bit her lip and looked away quickly, hesitant now that his eyes were on her.
“Before that, doll.” Bucky brought her eyes back to his by her chin.
“D-daddy?”
Bucky smiled a smile that reached his eyes as they lit up with gratitude. He couldn’t believe he was finally hearing that word.
“Daddy’s thinking pizza, doll. Sound okay?”
Her face glowed up with her own smile as she witnessed Bucky, with full commitment, refer to himself as daddy.
She nodded, knowing this was going to be the most delicious pizza she was ever going to eat.
~
“What is daddy thinking?” She asked when she noticed his eyes on her, slipping a loose strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear.
“Just thinking about all the things you make me feel, doll.” He smiled, turning his face to kiss her hand before it left his face.
Her face started heating up as she retracted her hand, tingles spreading all over her, “things like what?”
“You make me feel like there’s still good in this world. Like I’m worth patience and kindness and maybe even… love,” Bucky voiced his feelings, eyes dreamy as they watched her pretend to be focused on organizing her stuffies’ seats on the floor.
“You are, daddy,” she replied sincerely, hurting inside that Bucky might doubt this even a little.
“I can’t believe I was so horrible to you, doll.” Bucky’s sigh came out hot from his chest, holding so much regret.
“That’s in the past, daddy. Doll doesn’t think about it no more.” She smiled, her littler hand covering his own lovingly before giving a soothing squeeze.
“You’re just perfect, aren’t you?” Bucky held her hand up and gave the back of it a noisy kiss.
She laughed, face heating up more at the sweet attention, “no body’s perfect, remember?”
Bucky tried to continue laughing with her but he was still kicking himself for what he did to her during her visit to his house.
“How did you even tolerate me back then, doll? I was the worst.” Bucky covered his face with his hands as he threw his head back, laying on his back on the floor full of shame.
“That’s not true. You just misunderstood me and that happens!” She was quick to defend him, refusing the idea that he would even criticize himself, “daddy is the best.”
“I know, but it still gave me no right to treat you the way I did.” Bucky’s eyes teared up at the memories of his very mean words and actions, “I made you cry a lot.” He struggled to forgive himself for that one.
“Daddy, I forgave you, I swear,” she promised, her hands cradling his full cheeks.
She felt like her heart might stop from sadness if Bucky was to cry right now.
“I’m really sorry. I’m really really sorry, doll.” Bucky’s eyes were sincere, holding so much emotion in them that she felt her own begin to fill up with tears.
“Daddy, you don’t need to apologize no more,” she whispered, doing her best to hold back tears.
“You have made me the luckiest man on earth by accepting me as your caregiver, your daddy, and you’ve taught me so much, doll.” Bucky actually started crying, a lot of held-inside feelings coming out at once.
“Daddy.” Her thumb wiped under his eyes gently as she felt her own tears roll down, “don’t say stuff like that”.
“But I need to. Because you did. You taught me unconditional love and acceptance. You taught me what it means to live again. Doll, your patience with my terribleness has taught me that maybe I’m not a hopeless case after all, and that this shell of a man with a metal arm might be capable of things he thought have been wiped from his memory long ago.”
“Daddy, please stop crying,” she sobbed, pressing her forehead to his chin as her attempts at wiping his tears away have proven to be futile.
“I love you so much, doll. I love you with every old bit of me and if you’ll have me…”
“Daddy?” she raised her head, eyes on Bucky’s face, trying to read his expression.
Could Bucky really be asking what she thought he was asking?
“Doll, I want you to be my baby for more than just a few days. Would you give me that honor? Would you let me be your daddy for real?”
“Daddy, are you sure?” she nervously bit her lip.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything before.” Bucky promised.
She nodded frantically, afraid the offer might disappear if she took too long to respond, “yes.”
“Thank you, doll.” Bucky breathed as he pulled her to him, strong arms engulfing her in a protective hug.
“Daddy will not regret it later?” her eyes watched him, a small hint of doubt still tainting her trust.
“Do you like the moon, doll?”
“Yes.” She tilted her head, not understanding the relation between her question and Bucky’s answer.
“You know how our sky only has one moon?”
She nodded.
“My heart is just like that. It can only have one doll no matter how much time passes.”
“Oh.” She sniffled, trying to hold the tears in.
“I love you, doll.” Bucky gave her hair a long kiss.
“I love you, daddy.” She kissed his chest, her arms tightening their hold around him as best as she could, never wanting to be away from him again.
And she wasn’t going to be. Bucky was an idiot who let her go once; never again was he going to make that mistake.
He was blessed with her now and he was going to spend every day of his life proving he was worthy of this blessing.
~
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princescribbler · 1 year ago
Text
Teases to Put Your ABDL Partner Into Littlespace
Just a few ideas of teases, jokes, taunts, and exciting promises to your little one to make them as blushy, little, and regressive as possible.
"I love you, too... but I still think you need to stay little a bit longer. Don't worry, I'll take care of you, little one!"
"Aww, you LOVE being mine, don't you? Come on, you can tell me."
"Who's my good little baby, huh? Is it you? Who's my blushing baby, hmm?" (Extra points if you peel their hands back when they cover their face)
"Well, I think my little angel might need a diaper bag, hmm? Are you big enough to hold it, or should i?"
"That's ok baby, I know you can't handle all those big adult things. That's why I made you my little baby again, isn't it, huh?"
"I love you, but I don't think you're ready to be big quite yet.. maybe if you're very, very good I can give you a shot at pullups... but not quite yet!"
"Does somebody need a trip over my lap? Somebody just needs a spanking to know how to be good for me?"
"Awww, you don't like being babied? But you seem VERY excited down here..."
"Hey hey hey, hands off unless you need mittens! Maybe you need those hands protected..."
"What, do you get EMBARRASSED thinking people can see you be my cute baby? Huh? Well... good. I love when my sweetie is nice and blushy!"
"I just love how cute you look when you're feeling nice and snuggly"
"We should get dinner somewhere nice. Do you need extra layers, or do you think you can hold your potty like a big girl/ big boy?"
"Now honey: I know you want to be big, but I'm just not sure yet. Don't you just love your stuffies, and being a good little one? Hmm? Exactly! No more of that silly 'big boy/girl' talk"
"Awww, i just love seeing you so cute and baby brained!"
"Well SOMEBODY needs an early bedtime... and I don't think it's the (big girl/big boy), or the (mommy/daddy), do you?"
"I just love how SWEET you are when you're all little and needy for me. I might have to keep you this way..."
"I just love it when you get all cute and blushy for me baby. Come on... show me those cute blushy cheeks! There they are!!"
"Awww, you LOVE it when I talk all cute and condescending, don't you little cutie?"
"Please, now, come along or do I need to show all these nice people what it looks like when you get a spanking, huh?"
"Good baby: I love finding you already nice and little for me!"
"Awww, is somebody blushing? Come on, you don't need to hide from me!"
"Oh silly, nobody cares that you're a crinkle pants, and I'm sure nobody will notice anyhow!"
"Don't you want to be my good baby? Hmm? Or do you need a STRICTER caregiver, huh?"
"Are you wet again already? Really? Did somebody go potty in their diapee, huh?"
"Well who could have known: a Wet diapee? I guess I was right to keep you nicely padded, wasn't I sweetheart?"
"Nobody will care, baby: you just let me worry about that, no reason for babies to worry!"
"Seems like SOMEONE really enjoys being my helpless little crinklebutt, huh?"
"Aww, don't hide that face! I need to see you being all flustered and cute!"
"Nope nope nope! We can't possibly leave until you've used the potty, and shown me your nicely wanted hands, little one!"
I'll add more as they jump to mind, but feel free to add your own and your favorites!
And as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!!
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kaydens-agere · 2 months ago
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caregiver logan little wade headcanons im actually begging
Caregiver Logan Howlett/Wolverine and Regressing Wade Wilson/Deadpool Headcanons!!
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Headcanons below the cut!! Thank you so much for the request, I had sm fun writing these :D This does have a bit of swearing so if you're uncomfortable with that, please proceed with caution or don't read!!
⚔️-Wade was surprisingly open about it with him when they first met, he didn't go into too much detail, but he just kinda said "yeah I regress sometimes when bad shit happens." and left it at that. Logan didn't push it because he knows it can be a sensitive topic (as a secret little himself)
❤️-It first happened with Logan after the party after saving their universe. After everyone left, he ended up dropping from the exhaustion. Logan immediately fell into "dad mode" as Wade likes to call it, pampering him constantly and keeping him safe.
⚔️-Logan was very surprised by Wade's... colourful language while he's little. Logan half expected him to act the complete opposite of how he normally does. But no, he's still Wade. And he still has quite the mouth.
❤️-Logan is extremely gentle while Wade is small, often scooping him up and peppering him with kisses. Wade absolutely loves it, it always sends him into a fit of giggles.
⚔️-Logan has an abundance of nicknames he likes using for Wade. Some of them include bub (obviously), kid/kiddo, baby, his kit, etc. Sometimes he'll call him a little shit, but it's said playfully and Wade knows he's joking (that's nothing compared to the insults that Wade can throw at him).
❤️-Wade starts inviting him to his tea parties. They spend a lot of time on the living room floor with his many tea sets, talking about the latest gossip among Wade's plushies. Al will join in when she's home.
⚔️-Heres how the tea parties normally go: "Mary started yelling at Chrissy the other day." "Oh yeah, bub? Whys that?" "Because Chrissy was cheating on her boyfriend!" "Oh, motherfucker. I knew something was up with her."
❤️-Logan often takes Wade to the park, or just big open areas to run around in, he either starts dragging Logan around with him or forces him to play tag. He has a lot of energy that he needs to get out, and it's hard to do that when he's cramped up in the small apartment. They always take Mary Puppins with them.
⚔️-Sometimes Wade will struggle with his scars when he's small, physically and mentally. Sometimes they'll burn and itch and it's a lot harder to deal with when he's tiny, so all he can do is curl up and cry. However, Logan always seems to know what to do, he'll always run him a nice warm bubble bath to ease the pain. If he's struggling mentally, it's usually him thinking that he's too ugly or scary to be loveable. Once again, Logan is there. This time, he'll offer lots of reassurance, cuddles and kisses all over his scars, which will usually make him feel a bit better.
❤️-Wade is an absolute spoiled brat, and Logan definitely feeds into it, no matter how hard he tries not to. If they're at a toy store, Wade will show him a toy he really likes, and if Logan says no, you best believe that Wade will throw a tantrum until he gets it (He always does. Logan's not proud of it, but he hates seeing his baby cry).
⚔️-Wade calls Logan "Papa" whenever he's small. It shocked him when it first happened, he didn't think he was worthy of that title. Logan definitely did not have to have a cry in the bathroom after that. /s
❤️-Logan can have doubts sometimes about whether he's doing a good enough job or whether he's even worthy enough to be trusted that much by someone. Whenever Wade senses this, he'll draw him a bunch of pictures and give him plenty of kisses and tell him that he's the best papa in the world, which makes Logan feel all warm and fuzzy.
⚔️-Logan rubs his head on Wade's a lot, it's his way of "scenting" him. He wants everyone to know that Wade is his baby, no one else's. It's comforting for Wade as well, he likes the sensation of his papa's fluffy cat hair rubbing against his face.
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naturesapphic · 11 months ago
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Reader seeing pictures of nat being close to wanda and kind of gets jealous but mostly insecure, so insecure that they go into subspace and start mumbling things (amongst the lines of "im mommy good girl" "mommy loves me" "her good girl" or sum like that) and nat comes home and comforts them and calms them down?
also sorry for my english its not my first language:)
Insecurities
Mommy!natasha romanoff x little!fem!reader
Warnings: little bit of Wanda and Natasha, hurt/comfort, age regression
Natahsa hasn’t been with you very much recently and it’s fine. I mean…you think it is. You have no reason to worry or to be insecure, but you still feel sad that your girlfriend is always so busy and when she’s not busy she always hangs out with Wanda, her best friend and your other friend. They wouldn’t betray you like that…
You were on the couch scrolling through Instagram when you saw that Natasha and Wanda posted some pictures on instagram of them together. Natasha had her arms wrapped around Wanda’s waist and on Wanda’s page, Wanda kissed nat on the cheek. Tears pricked your eyes and you immediately turned your phone off, throwing it on the other side of the couch. You whimpered and got up off the couch and started pacing back and forth while wringing your hands together.
Tears blurred your vision and you started sobbing which led you to be laid out on the floor. You weren’t thinking clearly and you started to feel yourself go into your headspace. You didn’t want to be a little right now, you had too intense emotions that your little self couldn’t comprehend right. You wiped your eyes and started to stand up but your whole body was shaking because you are so upset in this moment. You whimpered and started crawling to your chest that has your favorite little things that help you regress more and to make you feel calm.
You grabbed your favorite blankie and stuffed animal and crawled to the couch to sit. As you were calming down, the photos flashed in your mind and more tears pricked your eyes and you found yourself crying again. You started rocking yourself back and forth slowly and mumbling things to yourself.
Natasha walked up to y’all’s shared house and opened the door, using her house key. “Babygirl? Im home! Are you okay? Is your phone dead because-.” Natasha said as she walked in the house but stopped dead in her tracks to find you on the couch rocking back and forth and saying something under your breath that she couldn’t quite understand. She walked over to you and got down on her knees so she can look at you and talk to you face to face. She finally started to hear what you were saying and it broke her heart. “M’mommy good girls…” “Mommy onlys wuv mes…” “hers good girls..”
Natasha didn’t understand why you were saying this but you seemed really upset and she hates when her babygirl is upset. “Hey hey angel…it’s okay mommy’s here now..” she spoke gently so she doesn’t startle you and make you more upset. You raised your head to look at her and your bottom lip started to quiver. “Mommy Nu wuv me Nu mores..” you stated and started crying again. “No no babygirl! Where did you get a silly idea like that? Mommy loves you so much princess…” Natasha explained as she scooped you up in her strong arms and placed you on her lap on the floor she was sitting at. “Nu chu donts! Chu wuv auntie Wanda now! Chu don needs mes Nu mores..” you stated and sniffled.
Natasha then realized what you were upset about. She should have known that those pictures would put thoughts in your head. You were working on your insecurities and jealousy problems but nat was there every step of the way and understood you. She thought it was cute how jealous you could get but it does make her sad that you feel that you aren’t good enough for her because for nat, it’s the other way around. She still can’t believe that you chose her to be your girlfriend and caregiver, but she thinks the stars that she gets to be.
“Babygirl…I’m sorry that those photos upsetted you so much. But know that me and Wanda are just friends and that’s it. That’s all we are. She can’t replace you. No one can. You are my y/n/n and you are one of a kind. You are mine and I am yours. Nothing will change that my princess..” she explained to you and you looked up at her innocently “chu mines an I yours? Forever mommy?” You asked genuinely and Natasha felt herself tear up at how broken and sad you sounded. “Forever and always my little dove. It’s you and me against the world.” Natasha confessed and you felt yourself lean into her touch and cuddle yourself into her.
“We will talk more about this later. You don’t need to worry about such big emotions and problems okay baby? But just know that mommy loves you and only you.” Natasha said as she knows that even when you are in your headspace, you tend to worry about everything just like you do sometimes when you are out of it. Natasha and Wanda are just close friends, they feel like sisters to each other and plus they would never ever betray you like that. Ever. Natasha is so in love with you and only you. The reason why she keeps hanging out with Wanda so much recently is because she is planning on proposing to you soon and Wanda is basically a chef and great decorator and she knows the both of you very well to make the best proposal and wedding ever.
Natasha picks your sleepy self into her arms and Carries you to y’all’s shared room and tucks you in the bed. She puts on her black tank top and sweatpants to sleep in and lays besides you in bed and brings you close to her body so she can hold you. She loves you and only you, nothing will ever change that.
A/n: I hope that this was okay! Im sorry this was so late but I hope that y’all enjoy! Remember that winter/Christmas requests are still open! And remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!
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quinnysnursery · 6 months ago
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Little Chris??
[🥤] bedtime tears | chris sturniolo one-shot
paring : little!chris sturniolo x cg!gn!reader
summary : after a long day of fun, little!chris just isn't ready for bedtime
warning/extra tid-bits : tantrums, crying, i think thats all!
word count : 1,281
divider credit : me c: i made it!
a/n : RAAAAAAA (sorry for any typos, i'm just a girl !)
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The two of you had possibly one of the best regression days ever, Chris had finally worked up enough courage to go out in public while regressed, determined to spend the day at the zoo with his caregiver.
Somehow, you two managed to pull it off without Chris being recognized. You managed to spend nearly the entire day at zoo, Chris' headspace full-force. Now though, you two were back home and you were cooking a box of instant mac 'n cheese for your boy.
Stirring in the macaroni, you slowly turned down the heat of the stove to not overcook the SpongeBob-shaped noodles.
"Mama/Dada/Baba?" Chris called from behind your back. You turned around, smiling brightly. "Yes, Lovebug?" You asked, "Is the 'roni almost done?" He asked, peeking behind you.
You nodded, "Almost bug, can you sit down for me?". Chris nodded, giving you a toothy grin before he began making race-car noises as he traced his hot wheels truck against the kitchen counters before sitting himself down at the island.
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Placing the bowl of mac 'n cheese in front of your little, you sat down next to him. "Is it good?" You chuckled as Chris began scarfing down the cheesy noodles. "Mhm! 's spongebob!" He smiled, showing you his spoon that had a patrick-shaped noodle on it. You smiled, ruffling the boy's fluffy hair. When Chris finally declared he was “all done!” you took both bowls into the sink, beginning to rinse them off.
“Lovebug?” You attempted grabbing your littles attention. “Mhm?!” Chris answered, already beginning to play with his race-car once again.
“It’s…” You trailed off, looking at your phone before finishing your sentence, “9:30, can you be a big boy for Mama/Dada/Baba and start brushing your teeth for bed?”. Looking up, your brow instantly furrowed at Chris’ teary eyes.
“Oh angel…what’s wrong?” You asked, shutting off the sinks faucet and beginning to reach for your boy. Chris, however, instantly pushed his chair away from the kitchen island and stormed upstairs. A loud slam from a door following him shortly after.
You hadn't expected that at all. You and Chris had a wonderful day at the zoo, spending extra time at the Gorilla exhibit and even getting not one but two plushies at the gift shop.
Sure, Little Chris never loved bedtime but he'd never stormed off and slammed a door before.
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After taking a few minutes to collect yourself, you began the trudge upstairs. One of your favorite parts of being Chris' caregiver is you got to rewrite things your own parents did wrong. By being able to collect yourself, you were able to assure yourself that you could speak to Chris without getting frustrated.
Quiet sniffles came from behind the bathroom door, exposing Chris' hiding spot. "Lovey? What's going on?" You asked as you walked up to the door, trying the handle. Locked, of course.
"G-Go 'way!" Your little cried causing you to frown. "Sweetheart..." You tried, your voice gentle and calm. "Can you let mama/dada/baba in so we can talk?" You asked, silently begging he said would say yes. Thankfully, you heard a small 'click!' come from the door and you were able to turn the knob.
Stepping into the restroom, you were immediately greeted with the sight of Chris standing near the tub, eyes red and puffy from crying with the accompanying tear marks down his cheeks.
"Oh baby...what's going on?" You asked, bringing your arms out to offer the distressed little a hug. Chris instantly accepted this, burying his head into your clothing. "N-No bedtime..." Chris pouted, his tears dampening your shirt.
"No bedtime?" You asked, making sure you heard him correctly. Chris whined and stomped his foot, "No bedtime." He grumbled.
"Sweetheart, you've had such a long day though..." You tried, brushing his hair away from his tear-ridden face. Chris whined, shaking his head.
"Can you pretty please brush your teeth?" You asked gently, pulling away from Chris and wiping his eyes with your sleeves. Chris began to whine but you cut him off, "You don't have to go to bed just yet, but you had a lot of cotton candy at the zoo." You chuckled, causing a small smile to appear on the littles face as he slowly began to brush his teeth.
You let out a content sigh, ruffling his hair. The rest of the night would not be easy.
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You were right. The two of you had managed to brush your teeth with minimal hitches, the occasional sniffle and eye-rub erupting from Chris.
The next problem arose when it was time for pajamas.
"Mickey Mouse or...Toy Story?" You asked, pulling out two options of sleep pants for Chris. Chris sniffled, looking between the two before speaking. "M' wanted Light'ing Mc'een.." He mumbled, crossing his arms as he sat on the bed.
"You wore those yesterday, lovebug. They're in the hamper." You explained gently, crouching down to meet Chris' eyes that seemed to be fixated on the floor.
This began a whole new set of tears, Chris begging for the "Light'ing Mc'een jammies".
You gently took hold of the little's hands, "Chris, I need you to take a deep breath for me." You said firmly. Chris sniffled, taking a second to calm his tears before slowly taking a slow breath.
"Good job...such a good boy." You praised, giving him an encouraging smile. The two of you worked through another deep-breath before you spoke again.
"I know you want to Lightening Mcqueen jammies, but they're dirty." You paused before beginning again. "So, would you like to choose between these two options or do you want mama/dada/baba to choose?" You finished, brushing a Chris' hair away from his face.
Chris thought for a moment before squeaking out his answer, "Mama/dada/baba..." You nodded, standing up and picking up the toy-story themed pajama pants and a plain black muscle shirt.
"Alright sweetheart, go get dressed. I'll be right here when you're ready." You smiled. Chris took a few moments before going back to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
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When Chris returned, you somehow managed to get him curled up next to you without another tantrum.
"M' not tired..." He whined, laying his head against your shoulder. "Lovebug, just try and settle down...for me?" You asked. Chris shook his head, letting out a long whine.
You thought for a moment before speaking, "Why don't you wanna go to sleep, baby?" You asked, looking down at Chris who'd buried himself into your side.
The boy mumbled something, causing you to lean down further. "Hm?" You asked again.
"M' don't wanna be big tomorrow..." Chris mumbled, slightly louder this time. Embarrassed tears beginning to slowly slip out your little boy's eyes.
You cooed, gently taking Chris' chin in your hand and guiding his gaze to meet yours. "Sweet boy, you never ever have to be big for me." You comforted, wiping his tears away with the pads of your thumbs.
"B-but m' was little all day...'s not fair..." He whimpered, you shushed him. "If I needed a break I'd let you know, and Mama/dada/baba is saying its okay. Okay?" You smiled, Chris thought for a moment before sheepishly nodding.
"...'kays." He smiled, flinging himself into your arms for a hug. You chuckled as he koala-ed himself around you.
The two of you stayed that way far after Chris had lulled himself to sleep, which took no less than 10 minutes.
Slowly, you were able to lay him down. You were quick to lay down with him, brushing his fluffy brown hair away from his sleepy face.
"My sweet boy."
208 notes · View notes
lilywastaken · 2 years ago
Text
⇝ together .
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!AFAB!Reader.
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PART THREE OF MÉNAGE.
SUMMARY: A month after his return, you start warming up to Simon, only for him to ruin it.
WARNINGS: AFAB!Fem!Reader (no use of Y/N!), Fluff for once, Angst, mild nsfw, mentions of child abuse and abuse in general, canon typical violence, choking (not in a sexy way).
A/N: Finally finished!! I'm so sorry I haven't been able to get this out sooner, these past weeks have just been chocked full of assignments I had to finish 😭 I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations!!! Please don't forget to reblog and leave a comment, it helps a lot!!
WORD COUNT: 9.2k
MASTERLIST.
If you want to be tagged on future works, please follow and activate notifications on this account! — @lilynottaken !
Also on Ao3!
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"'m blaming this on you."
You grumbled to Simon as you watched your son clap his hands against his father's, happy coos and gurgles leaving him.
"What?" He turned away from Tommy to look at you with a confused look, well, you assumed it was confused by the way his eyes were squinted. "How is this my fault?"
"He's copying you." You yawned, curling into the foetal position and pulling up the blanket over your body, head almost rolling off the sofa as you continued to pay attention to your son and his father's every movement. "You don't sleep so he doesn't."
"Not sure that's how his brain works yet." You could hear the amusement in his words, rolling your eyes as you switched your gaze from them up to the telly, that was playing some football game Simon had put on a few hours ago. "Think he's just not tired."
You know you should've expected this, Tommy's doctor had warned you at the last appointment when he'd gotten his first shots that he might experience some type of sleep regression, which meant more hours of staying awake while watching your son. And maybe it would've been worse for you if Simon wasn't there experiencing the same stress as you were. Weirdly, it felt nice to have another person in the same boat as you, even if he didn't really seem that keen on needing to sleep like you did.
Tommy seemed to had taken a liking to his father ever since the first day they'd both met, but that was kind of a given after Simon had spent the whole month after that coming over almost every single day (except for the days where he'd warned you before time that he'd be gone for work) and spending it all with his son.
You kind of hoped that Tommy had started to recognise him as a father like he did with you as a mother, since he was at the age where he was able to recognise caregivers; but even if he didn't, he did still cling onto Simon's hand every time it was time for him to leave like he did to you, tears bordering at his glassy eyes when you stood at the door with him in your arms waving goodbye to Simon.
You almost started crying every time he'd start making grabby hands at Simon, who'd rest his face against his son's tummy and let his chubby hands pull at the cloth of his balaclava, sometimes even pulling it up over his lips so he could press a quick kiss to his cheek, hiding his face immediately once you came in, unknowing that you'd been watching them before.
It wasn't like the bad blood that you had with Simon had magically been solved, you were still sometimes on edge or a bit snappy at him when it came to Tommy or your "relationship" with him, but you weren't as furious with him as you were when he first showed up.
"Not interestin' enough for you, am I?" Simon grunted as Tommy's attention drifted from the clapping to the telly above him, eyes wide as the presenter talked about some red card.
"You've bored him." You snickered, outstretching an arm to click your fingers, the sound immediately catching your son's attention. "Hi, duck!"
"He's not a bloody cat." Simon grumbled, picking up Tommy carefully from his spot on the blanket you'd draped on the floor for him to lie on, moving him onto your chest so he could cuddle into you.
You were about to snap back when Tommy interrupted you both with a wide yawn, chubby hands clinging onto your sleep shirt and eyes threatening to droop closed, although they were still stuck to the image of the footballers running across the field on the TV.
Both of you froze, Simon having been mid way to getting a toy he'd dropped not so long ago so he was stuck in that position, eyes wide and staring at his suddenly sleepy son.
You placed a soft hand on his back, pressing him further into your chest so the sound of your heartbeat would lull him to sleep easier.
But as luck would have it, a goal was scored right at the moment where his eyes finally fully closed, the commentators shouting out excitement and forcing your son back awake with a cry.
Simon and you groaned in unison, the man finally picking up the toy and collapsing on the ground, lying on his back right next to the sofa and glaring up at the ceiling, listening to you try and calm your son down from his abrupt awakening.
"Who scored?" You grumbled, masking your annoyance with interest.
"Not Manchester." Simon grunted back, raising a hand to take Tommy's, his fingers brushing against your chest in the process. "Haven't had a bloody win in a while."
"Sorry." You mumbled, remembering the disappointment that had shone in his eyes when you'd told him about some of the losses of the teams he liked he'd asked you to take a note of while he was away for work.
He'd done well at keeping his promise, sending you messages every time he had to leave, no longer disappearing without a trace, even if it was just a single day of paperwork or a check up at base. He sometimes also sent you pictures, whether it was him in his car showing you that he was close to your flat in case you weren't prepared for him or the takeaway menu at your favourite fast food place, asking for your order. They were always dark and a bit out of focus, but you couldn't deny that you hadn't let out a laugh when you'd seen the failed attempt of him trying to get out of frame, his skulled balaclava peeking out from a corner of the picture.
He'd been gone for a week this time, which explained why he was being so clingy towards Tommy ever since he'd arrived, takeout in hand and arms itching to wrap around his son, and had spent the whole last hour catching up with the both of you.
"Are you sleeping here tonight?" You yawned, closing your eyes for a moment and trying to ignore the squirming boy on your chest, his hands digging uncomfortably into your clavicle.
"Yeah. Though I probably won't be doing much sleepin'." He rumbled, letting Tommy wrap one of his chubby hands around one of Simon's big fingers. "Y'know I can just take over. Go get some rest."
You bit the inside of your cheek at that, looking away despite still having your eyes partly closed, your grip unintentionally tightening around Tommy's small body.
You were still put on edge whenever you left Tommy alone with Simon, even though he'd shown no ill towards you in any way, you just couldn't help it, the thought that something might happen to your sweet boy when he wasn't under your supervision was enough to strike an unexplainable fear into you. You knew that he'd noticed how your face turned sour whenever it was mentioned, but he hadn't ceased asking completely, knowing that sooner or later you'd have to entrust him with your son like you'd both agreed.
"Is that okay…?" You whispered, your voice barely audible over the cheers and cries of excitement from the telly, but by the way he turned his head towards you and squeezed Tommy's hand, you knew he heard you.
"Yeah. Don' worry. You need some rest."
You both stayed put for a few seconds, your hands slowly falling from their place on your son's back and scooping him up carefully before pushing yourself off the sofa, forcing Tommy's hand out of Simon's in the process.
You watched carefully as he shifted off the floor to sit next to you on the sofa, his built arms moving to cradle his son in their crook, rocking him slowly as you got up, anxiously fidgeting with your fingers as you stood and watched them both for a moment, almost terrified of taking a step out of their vicinity.
"Go." Simon commanded, getting comfy on the sofa as he turned his attention back to the game playing on the telly, the assertive tone that his voice took enough to send shivers running down your spine, nodding your head out of instinct before scurrying away like one of the rookies Simon was oh-so used to ordering around back at base.
After having a well deserved shower and pulling on some of your cosiest pyjamas, you let your body collapse onto your bed, curling into the middle where the mattress dipped and covering yourself up with your countless amount of blankets due to the chill that had overcome the country after a few rare weeks of warmth.
You smiled as you remembered how happy Tommy had looked when you'd taken him out in his stroller and let him bask in the sunlight for a bit while sitting next to him at the park, trying your best to focus on his giggles and not on the shadowy figure of his father standing behind you, more like a bodyguard waiting to take out any threats to you both instead of the father he claimed to want to be.
You let out a huff at the memory of how cautious Simon had been at first around you both, almost like a stray cat getting used to their new family: always standing around you but never too close, bringing you small gifts (i.e. takeout or groceries he thought you'd need or Tommy's new favourite teddy bear he now slept with instead of his duck), slowly making your home his own unconsciously by leaving some of his clothes packed away in a small corner of your wardrobe or packing the fridge with some of how own personal food items.
You'd noticed, of course. How could you not?
At first, when you'd found some of his clothes in the midst of the batch of laundry you were tending to, you were struck with fear. Fear that everything you'd worked hard to build was going to be invaded by this barely known presence you were just starting to get used to, but as time went on, you realised there was nothing scary about it.
It was oddly comforting, in a way. It made you feel less alone when you spotted the extra toothbrush he'd plopped in the glass next to yours, the mug he'd brought over after he'd exclaimed his concern that all of yours were fit for coffee and not for tea or the hoodies he left lying around that Tommy loved curling into whether Simon was wearing it or not.
You pulled a pillow into your arms, simulating the feeling of your son in your arms you'd gotten so used to in order to fall asleep, closing your eyes and letting the muffled sounds of the football game still playing on the TV and your son's faint giggles lull you slowly to your first proper sleep in a while.
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You were pulled awake by the sound of your phone going off, your whole body jerking up and rushing to grab it out of instinct, the bright screen illuminating your room and forcing a groan out of you at the disturbance, letting your eyes focus until you were able to properly read the notification.
A frustrated sound left your lips at the message from one of the dating apps you'd forgotten you had informing you that you'd matched with someone, angered that it had been something so stupid that had woken you up from one of the best sleeps you'd had in a long time and not something important.
You fell back down onto the mattress, planning on closing your eyes and curling back into the pillow you'd been spooning moments before, but as your body slowly calmed down from the initial shock that had filled it, you were met with nothing but silence.
Your eyes had adjusted enough at this point that you were able to turn your head over to your door, frowning at the lack of light that normally came from under the door when the living room was lit, raising your head from the pillow slightly in an attempt to catch out any sounds that might be originating from anywhere in your flat.
But once again, silence continued to rule over your home.
You could've just closed your eyes and willed yourself to fall back asleep, but the creeping feeling that it was too quiet for how it normally was, that something might have happened in the few hours you'd let yourself rest was slowly burrowing itself in your mind.
And fuck, what if Simon had done something? What I'd you'd misjudged him? What if he'd taken advantage of your tired state and just fucked off with your son in his arms, leaving you broken and abandoned once again?
The fear that struck your body at that train of thought was enough to wake you up properly, allowing your body to act like it had just consumed countless amounts of caffeine and rush over to the partly open door, slowly pushing it open before looking around frantically, eyes landing on the back of the sofa and on the turned off TV in front of it.
Your hand landed on the headrest, your heart skipping a beat as your eyes landed on Simon's sleeping body, his arms protectively wrapped around Tommy, who was resting on his chest like he'd been with you before you'd gone to rest.
You made it fully around until you were standing in front of the sofa, one of your hands coming up to grab at your thin sleep shirt right over the place your heart was currently hammering against out of relief.
Fuck…
Of course he hadn't left.
You were just being paranoid.
Simon had shown you no ill will the whole time he'd been here, but you were still on edge, assuming the worst from him…
A staggered breath left your lips, your hands coming up to cover your face as you willed your body to calm down, your legs trembling as the adrenaline that had rushed through you momentarily started to fade, leaving you confused and exhausted.
One of your legs threatened to give out, and as soon as you were getting ready to collapse, a warm hand grabbed at your thigh, a silent scream threatening to leave you until you realised who it belonged to, staring down with wide eyes at your son's father, one of the hands that had been cradling Tommy now holding your leg with the same care.
"What happened?!"
You could see the panic in his eyes despite the darkness that enveloped the room, his thumb slowly rubbing up and down your skin, his best attempt at soothing whatever pain you were harbouring that he had no idea about.
He called your name, pulling you closer to the sofa so you were kneeling on the free space of the plush sofa, staring down at Simon's chest and raising one of your hands up to your son's little head, running through his thin hair.
"What happened?" He repeated, more assertive this time rather than the panicked tone he had taken before, his hand moving from the back of your thigh up to your waist, almost like it was natural to do so.
"Nothing…" you finally let out, blinking away some of the tears you hadn't realised that had formed at your waterline. "Just… Uhm…"
"...Nightmare?" He offered an easier excuse than the real reason you'd pulled yourself out of bed at such an hour, slowly nodding your head in agreement and causing him to let out a sigh. "Do you-"
"I'm okay. Just… shaken up." By the way you were anxiously running your fingers through Tommy's hair as if to assure yourself that he was real, that he was indeed lying there asleep (something you hadn't realised up until that moment, Simon had somehow actually gotten Tommy to take a nap.), he assumed that whatever nightmare you'd had was related to him. "Needed to check that he was okay."
Yeah, that cemented it.
Simon would be lying if he said he hadn't a few nightmares of his own about Tommy ever since he'd met him properly, whether it was him forcibly being taken away from you by one of the many enemies he'd made across his life or a freak accident ending any hopes he'd had of all of you being a family.
And maybe they were a bit out of pocket, he'd made it very hard for anyone to trace you or Tommy back to him by always parking his car a few blocks away, making sure that Tommy had your last name instead of his and that the military had no idea about his offspring.
He couldn't have any records that would link you two to him, he couldn't even risk taking that chance, he knew that as soon as two of his weaknesses were revealed, it would only be a matter of time for them to be exploited by his enemies.
So, he understood. He understood the fear that came with a nightmare about your son, the need to see him and reinforce the fact that he was okay in your head.
"He is. Tired 'imself out a few hours ago." He moved towards the back of the sofa, allowing you space to sit next to them both, his hand still continuing to rest on your warm skin and pulling you along carefully, ready to pull away the moment you showed any signs of uncomfort.
"How come he sleeps for you?" You mumbled, more of a thought to yourself rather than something you wanted to share, but it caused Simon to smile beneath his mask nonetheless, raising his other hand up to Tommy's head to run a finger down his little nose, ignoring the way his heart rate spiked when it brushed against yours.
He thought about making a joke about being his favourite, hoping that it would brighten the mood a bit, but then remembered the look of dismay that would come over his teammates' faces whenever he made one about anything, and on second thought, maybe he'd have to wait a bit until you were both comfortable enough to enjoy his stupid jokes.
"Guess he's bored of me. You're much more entertainin' to be awake around." He rumbled, a soft chuckle leaving your lips at what you assumed was an attempt to lift your spirits.
"Yeah…" you smiled, leaning your body on the arm that was propping you up, your hand ceasing its brushing of Tommy's hair and simply resting on his small head, your heart growing bigger as he let out a little coo, snuggling further into Simon's hoodie.
You hadn't even been thinking about the hand cupping your waist, too focused on your son's sleeping figure and the warmth that it brought you, unconsciously wriggling a bit further into the touch, but you froze once Simon's hand immediately snapped back from you, as if he'd taken that as an immediate sign that he had broken a few boundaries by getting too close.
"Sorry."
You bit on your tongue, not wanting to full admit how much reassurance his touch had brought you and how much you'd give to have it back (you blamed the neediness on how exhausted your body was and the delirium that came with the lack of sleep you'd been subject to recently), not making any move to answer and instead focusing fully on your son.
"You want to take him?" Simon offered, leaning further up the sofa so he was kind of sitting, kind of lying on the arm rest. "Don' kids sleep better with their mams?"
"I… I think that may be a myth." You breathed out a chuckle, shaking your head as he made a move to hand Tommy over to you. "No, it's okay. I move a lot at night, I don't - I don't want to hurt him, you know?"
Simon turned down to the fragile little human he was holding, remembering the exact moment he'd realised that you were both in charge of taking care of him, of keeping him out of danger and stopping anyone and anything from shattering the little being that seemed to be made of glass.
"That's fine."
Silence fell over the both of you, an awkward atmosphere forming as you didn't move, feeling as time went on that you were invading the little personal space he was allowed to have in your flat.
"D'you want to stay?"
What?
Your brain short-circuited, blinking at him owlishly, as if he'd just spoken in an unknown language, the words still processing in your mind.
"Stay?" You managed out, looking down at the space between you both, a space where you could easily fit into if you were to snuggle into his side and let him hold you.
But surely, he wasn't suggesting that.
Memories of how he'd held you that fateful night flooded your mind, his warm calloused hands sprawled out against the bare skin of your waist, the sound of his heartbeat drumming against his ribcage lulling you to sleep…
"Yeah, stay."
…It made you want to accept.
Made you want to melt into his side and wrap an arm around his wide chest, tangle your fingers in your son's soft hair and lie there with them both, making sure that no harm could come to Tommy thanks to the protective shadow that was Simon Riley.
But you couldn't. You knew that.
The walls you'd built while carrying Tommy in hopes that you'd never be hurt or abandoned again, the walls that had kept you relatively safe within the expanse of your mind refused to crumble, refused to make way for the man that had come barreling back into your life and threatened to destroy them.
You couldn't risk it.
So, you didn't.
You pulled your hand away from your son as if he burned, cradling it against your chest and looking away from Simon's imposing stare, the look in his eyes making you want to squirm and cry and adhere to anything he wanted.
"No." If you'd still been looking at him, you would have noticed the way his shoulders slumped, the way the dim light in his eyes proceeded to disappear at the single word that left your mouth. "Thanks."
It seemed every little step of progress you'd both taken together the whole month immediately dissipated away thanks to his idiotic question.
Of course you'd fucking refuse his stupid invitation, what was he thinking? That you were both a happy couple who didn't pass on any chance to hold each other in your arms? That he was your husband, the proper father of your son who you loved and cared for, who you enjoyed having pressed right against you? He was a fucking idiot. He couldn't contain himself for once in his life and he'd gone and ruined everything.
"Okay." Despite the inner turmoil that raged inside of him, that simple word of affirmation was all he could get out, and he hoped to whatever god was up there (that apparently loved torturing him) that you'd both wake up the next day without a single recollection of what had happened last night.
"Good night." You whispered, pushing yourself off the sofa and wrapping your arms around your chest, immediately regretting every single one of your actions that night as you gazed upon how truly comfy and warm Simon and your son looked snuggled together, wishing that you had the emotional capability to let your resentment go and indulge in Simon's touch.
"'Night."
You willed yourself to take the first step back, tearing your gaze away from them and heading back to your bedroom, your face erupting into warmth out of a mixture of embarrassment and sadness, a clear sign that your body wanted nothing more than to just burst into tears and let Simon wrap you up in his arms and soothe you down like you knew he could.
You buried your face into your pillow as soon as you made it back into your now-cold mess of sheets, tugging one of the pillows back into your arms and doing your best to imagine that it was someone else, someone else who was as willing as you'd imagined Simon had been before to have you in their arms, to stroke your hair and calm you down because they loved you, because they cared about you and wanted nothing more than to see you as happy as you'd been a mere few hours ago.
You passed out soon enough, a few tears running down your cheeks as you subconsciously wrapped yourself around the pillow like a koala, the tear stains quickly disappearing during the night and lacking any evidence that they were once there when Simon walked through your door in the early morning, standing at the side of your bed for a few moments before he leaned over, pulling up the covers and tucking them around your sleeping body.
The sound of the shower coming alive and the pipes groaning was the thing that pulled you awake, struggling a few moments to rid yourself of the covers that pushed onto you, wondering to yourself when and how you'd tucked yourself in so aggressively, turning your head towards your bathroom and listening to the clinking of shampoo bottles and the water as it hit the tiled walls.
Your bathroom was unfortunately directly connected to your bedroom, so in order to get into the shower, Simon would have had to pass by your bed and… tuck you in? Did he really tuck you in?
You pulled languidly at the covers, looking down at your nightwear and growing warm as you saw how transparent your shirt looked in the morning light, leaving almost nothing to the imagination of whoever were to look down at your chest.
Simon had seen you like that.
You squeezed your eyes closed out of embarrassment, as if he was right there judging you with his stupid thousand yard stare, lifting yourself off the mattress and looking around your wardrobe for a shirt, restoring to a band one you'd stolen from one of your ex boyfriends you'd never had the heart to throw out.
You were mid straightening it out, your previous night shirt now pooling at your feet, when the door to the bathroom opened, your immediate response being to wrap your arms around your chest and let out a cry of warning, turning around so he was facing your back.
"Fuckin'-"
"Go back in!" You cried out, wanting nothing more than for the earth to burst open and swallow you whole, feeling too tired to be dealing with this kind of embarrassment at such an early hour of the morning.
You cracked an eye open as the door closed, letting the grip you'd had on the shirt go as you faintly heard Simon curse, trying to erase the memory of what had happened out of your brain.
As you pulled on the shirt, you willed yourself to think about anything other than the glimpse of flesh you'd seen before turning around, the wide chest that had been littered with the scars he'd once let you trace over, the towel around his waist that had barely cov-
Stop!
Unknown to you, Simon was having a similar dispute with himself from inside the bathroom, resting his flushed face on the cool tiles of the wall as he listened to you shuffle around your room, cursing himself out for being so goddamn stupid and exiting the bathroom without even checking if you were awake or not.
That wasn't the only reason he should've checked, he thought you'd still be asleep, so stupidly, he'd gone out with barely any coverings, including the one on his face, so he was pretty sure you would've seen the way his eyes almost immediately darted down towards your chest if you hadn't been busy enough with covering yourself and ogling at his chest.
"Fuck…" he breathed out, running his fingers through his hair and looking at himself in the foggy mirror, the tired, broken stare of a being he could barely consider a man staring back at him.
After a few more moments of staring at himself he couldn't bear it anymore, grabbing his discarded balaclava and pulling it over his what he considered broken face, his other clothes continuing as he did his best to cover every single patch of skin he could, hand landing on the doorknob once he was finished and asking for confirmation.
You'd about finished putting on the shirt when he'd piped up from inside, letting out a small "you can." before he opened the door again, face now covered and eyes darting down at the oversized shirt you'd pulled over your bottoms, closing it behind him.
"Didn't know you'd be changin'." He grumbled, his way of apologising without saying the exact words, eyes scanning the band on your shirt. "Y'like Joy Division?"
"Huh?" You looked down at the shirt, straightening it out to properly look at the band you'd forgotten was plastered on the front, shrugging slightly. "Yeah, they're good. I'm, uh, not the biggest fan. This was my boyfriend's."
"Boyfriend?" He spat out, almost with malice.
"Ex." You clarified, pulling at the ends of your shirt out of nerves, the way he was staring down at you reminiscent of how you'd assume higher ups looked down at their soldiers when they were in the wrong.
"Right." He grunted, looking away from you and training his stare at the bedroom door, nodding towards it. "'M gonna go check on Tom."
He brushed past you, leaving you standing in the middle of your bedroom twiddling your thumbs, confused and embarrassed due to the interaction you'd just shared.
You walked into the kitchen, stopping in your tracks when you noted that the dishes you'd left last night after Simon had brought take away had been cleaned right up, the plastic bowls from the curry thrown away in the recycling along with the other trash you'd used when making Tommy formula (you resorted to using that instead of pumping or breastfeeding when Simon was over).
God, now you felt even worse for what had happened last night.
You rubbed your hands all over your face, digging your nails into your scalp as you ran them through your hair, snapping your head up as your heard your son giggle, going back a few steps to look through the crack of the door, your chest tightening as you watched Simon feed Tommy, murmuring a string of words you were too far away to understand.
Fuck, you really felt awful.
You pulled out a few ingredients, acting almost on autopilot as you fried the sausages and toasted the bread, making his tea subconsciously the way you know he liked it (he'd never forced you to make tea, you'd seen the sticker on a takeaway cup he'd left on the counter), and pouring it into the cup he always used.
"You didn't have to." Simon mumbled as he walked out of the nursery, holding the empty bottle of milk in one hand and a plastic bag with a dirty nappy in the other, looking down at the plate of food you'd made him.
"I wanted to." You mumbled, taking a bite out of your own buttered toast as you watched him walk around the kitchen, throwing away the bag and cleaning out the bottle before starting on his breakfast, standing at the island instead of sitting like you were. "As thanks. For, uhm, cleaning up."
"It was nothin' deserving of this." He mumbled underneath his breath, shoving a spoonful of the baked beans into his mouth, now visible thanks to him pulling up his balaclava, the taste of the normal breakfast he'd have at whatever café he normally went to complete shit compared to yours.
"It's fine. I went a little overboard, it's been a while since I've cooked for someone."
He let out an amused huff, nodding his head. "Yeah, babies don' really need a full brekkie."
You both went silent after that, your eyes looking around at everything but at him, secretly hoping that he was enjoying the food, wishing you would've put on the radio or the news so you weren't sitting in complete silence.
The tapping of his fingers against the counter finally pulled your gaze towards him, watching him carefully as you continued to eat.
"Laswell called."
Laswell?
The face you made must've made him realise you had no idea who he was talking about, his hand coming up to grab the mug of tea and take a long sip before speaking again.
"Station Chief Laswell." You nodded along, hoping that he'd believe that you actually knew what he was saying. "She's got a mission f'us."
Oh.
"When?" You spoke out, a bit choked up as you tried your best to focus on the food instead, you always got unexplainably nervous when he left for a mission, despite the fact that he always came back.
"Gotta be there by 1."
You turned to look at the time on the microwave, the 09:00 displayed there striking unexplainable fear in you.
"You should get going, then."
"I should."
Neither one of you moved.
"Did you say goodbye to Tommy?"
"I did." He took a final sip of his tea, placing the cup down and turning to look at the nursery, the strangling pain he felt every time he left you coming back to haunt him. "Changed his nappy too. Like y'taught me."
You smiled at the memory. A few days after he'd first shown up you'd tried your best to teach him how to change Tommy and you'd gone through almost 10 nappies by the time he'd been able to put one decent enough (you'd quickly changed it yourself after he'd turned around, you didn't want the nappy to cut off your baby's circulation), so you hoped that he'd actually done it properly this time.
"Thank you…" You offered him a small smile, looking down at your own cuppa, wrapping your arms around the now lukewarm mug. "Go get ready. I'll clean up."
Simon really didn't want to, he wanted to continue standing there talking to you, gazing at your tired face and how cute you looked taking small bites out of the food you'd made that you'd undoubtedly wouldn't finish and would slide over to him like you'd done all those times before.
But he couldn't. He was a soldier. One that was trained to kill and follow orders no matter what and no matter the circumstance, one that would be laughed at if he called in saying he wanted to stay with- well, whatever you were to him.
He was about to zip up the duffle bag he'd left in your room during his small stay when he caught a glimpse of something he'd forgotten about.
The gun was relatively light in his hand, one that was smaller than the ones he was used to carrying out in the field, but could quickly figure out how to use in the span of a millisecond.
He called out your name, rapping his knuckles against the counter to catch your attention, raising his arms in surrender as fear filled your face, dropping the plate into the sink and taking a step back as soon as you caught sight of the gun.
"Simon! What the fu-"
"It's not loaded." His other hand waved around the magazine, placing them both down on the island in front of you both. "I'm not going to use it."
"I would fucking hope so!" You cried out, wiping off the soap suds on a towel and pressing your back into the counter, gripping the edge of it as if he was really threatening you with the gun.
"Do you know how to shoot one?"
You shook your head. You'd never even seen one this close apart from the rare policemen that carried one, let alone held one.
"Come." He picked them two items up, walking back into your room and waiting for you at the door to follow, worried about what he was planning on doing. "Where would you keep a gun?"
You turned to him with a raised eyebrow, once again expressing your confusion with a single stare before turning to the bedside table closest to the side you normally slept in, pulling the drawer out and immediately growing warm as you gazed down at the string of condoms along with some other items.
"Here, I suppose…" You watched him sit down on the bed, the mattress immediately sinking beneath his weight as he raised the gun and magazine up into your line of view.
"Take it."
You shakily did as he said, the gun feeling heavy in your palms in contrast to how easy it had felt for Simon, turning it around a few times as he continued to speak, pointing out every single detail and part of what he had soon let you know was a Glock.
"It's the one most policemen carry. Not very heavy, but still capable of takin' down a man." He murmured, almost letting out a chuckle as he took the gun and cocked it, making you jump at the sudden sound.
"Why would I want to take down a man?" You asked tentatively, taking it back from him and trying to fit in the magazine like he'd instructed you to.
A warm hand came up to cover yours, stopping you in your tracks and allowing him to get up and take the firearm from you, pulling out the magazine and placing them both in the drawer, trying his best to ignore the other items that were scattered around.
"Listen to me." He turned his head as he slammed the drawer shut, staring directly into your eyes to make sure that you were paying attention. "I cannot ensure your safety while I'm gone. There's tons of fucked up people who'd take whatever change to tear me down and would not think twice about using you or Tommy to do so. This is just in case. You only use this if you or Tommy are in imminent danger. If there is someone threatening any of you, you do not hesitate, you take the gun and use it."
Use it.
Use it!?
His hand came up to cup at your cheek, pulling you out of your swarming thoughts so he could be sure you were listening.
"I- Simon, I can't- I'll go to jail if I use it, I can't-"
"You won't." He interrupted, shaking his head. "I won't let them. You're under my protection, this is just in case of emergency when I'm not around."
You nodded, not knowing what else to do, the gun that had been in your hands mere moments ago feeling like a burden despite it being locked away.
"Oi. Lovie, look at me."
That immediately caught your attention.
"Tell me you understand."
Your mouth had gone dry, the combination of the shock behind his little surprise and the nickname that had slipped out of his mouth proving to be too much to handle.
"Tell me. You understand."
You took a deep breath, nodding your head. "I understand, Simon."
Even after he'd left, you couldn't shake yourself off that foreboding feeling, terrified that the moment where you'd have to use the gun would arrive sometime soon, the thought of you or Tommy coming into danger while Simon wasn't around enough to make you want to crumble into tiny pieces.
You'd stood by the door like you always did, although this time Tommy was fast asleep in his crib and your arms were empty, leaving you to say goodbye to Simon (although looking up into his eyes, you knew he wasn't Simon anymore) all by yourself.
"When d'you think you'll be back?" You whispered as he opened the door, not wanting to disturb any of the neighbours that might be loitering around (despite knowing that news about the terrifying man that resided in your apartment had travelled quick after he'd threatened your neighbour), handing him his jacket.
"A week, tops. I'll send you a text as soon as I know." He grunted, shoving on his jacket before pulling up his duffle bag, swinging it over his shoulder. "You need anythin', you call base, okay? They'll relay the message if it's necessary."
He'd given you the number to his base a few weeks ago, but you knew you'd never have the heart to call it, too embarrassed that the little problem you were currently having was nothing compared to what Simon was going through, and you didn't want to disturb any of his work if it really wasn't that important.
"Sent you money this morning. You got enough for a month." He went through his mental list of everything he should say to you before going, leaning against the door frame and looking down at you through heavy eyelids. "Get some takeout, don't strain yourself any more than you already are. Doctor said you should take it easy."
You dismissed the urge to roll your eyes, cursing yourself out for even allowing him to take you to the doctor in the first place and listen in.
"I know. I'll be fine, Simon. You just worry about yourself."
"Always do." He said, nodding his head as a form of goodbye before pushing himself off the doorframe, heading towards the elevator and leaving you standing there, only closing the door when you heard the front door close from all the way downstairs.
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— I think he misses you.
— Won't let go of the teddy bear even though it's all dirty :(.
‍‍‍‍‍‍‍
God, if Simon wasn't wearing his mask he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to contain his smile, zooming into the picture you'd sent him of your small boy lying in your bed fast asleep cuddling the little plushie he'd gifted him.
‍‍‍‍‍‍‍
— More.
‍‍‍‍‍‍‍
He hoped you understood what you meant by that, and by the way a few more pictures loaded in within seconds, he was glad you did.
He had to print some of those.
He'd once made a joke about one of the soldiers who wore a picture of their beloved in a small locket to Soap, commenting how it reminded him of the soldiers in WWI, when they were really just on their way to disarm a bomb.
But now he felt the need to have some type picture of you both or trinket that you'd given him right in the pocket over his heart, one that he could easily pull out in the middle of a mission to remind himself of why he was doing this, of why he couldn't let himself get caught by the enemy, of why he always had to come back to you.
He couldn't even bear the thought of his dog tags arriving at your doorstep instead of him one fateful day.
"Your nephew?"
Ghost snapped his head up, meeting the curious gaze of his captain and the bright orange tip of his cigar. "What?"
"Your nephew." Price gestured towards his lieutenant's phone, where the picture of Tommy drooling around one of his toys was still displayed. "You told me about him once at that bar in Vienna. What's his name?"
"Joseph." Ghost answered, shaking his head. "No, he's… Not a baby anymore. Must be a bloody teenager by now."
Price hummed, taking another puff from his cigar before looking away, squinting his eyes from the sun, wishing he'd been as smart as Ghost by bringing a pair of sunglasses.
"So."
"So?"
"Who's he, then?" Once again, the captain looked down at the dimly lit picture, where he could barely make out the features of the little boy, but by the onesie and plushie, he was able to decipher the not so difficult puzzle.
"He's…" Ghost trailed off, taking one last look at the picture before turning off his phone, sliding it into one of his pockets and crossing his arms over his chest. "No-one."
"No-one?" Price huffed out, amused. "So you just have pictures of random babies on your phone, is that it, Lieutenant?"
Ghost flared up at his captain, the frown obscured by the sunglasses he'd put on after the clouds had dispersed, but by the way his body had tensed, Price could only assume he'd pissed him off.
"Name's Tommy. That's all you're getting." He grunted out, looking away from the older man like a child admitting to something embarrassing.
"Like your brother?" Price commented, letting out a groan before sitting down on the wall next to Ghost. "Isn't that a coincidence?"
"No, she didn' know when she named-" Ghost stopped himself from saying anything further, the slip of the tongue already having revealed the existence of a 'she', and he did not want to say any more.
"'She'?" Price grinned, blowing out some of the smoke before bringing his cigar up to his lips. "Come on, Simon. We're not on duty, are we? Not your captain right now."
He'd promised himself to keep quiet. He couldn't have anyone find out about you or Tommy, he couldn't risk having that information out in the open, his weakness out there for everyone to know.
But Price… Well, Price was different. He'd saved him multiple times across the span of time he'd spent working for the army, he'd been the one to pull him out of the deepest of holes, the one to trust him enough to allow him to join the 141.
They trusted each other.
"She's… I don't know." He let his head cock back, looking up at the forming clouds. "I knocked her up."
"Fuckin' hell, Simon." Price breathed out along with some smoke, turning to look at him with a sort of horrified and disappointed stare. "You're a dad?"
"Yeah."
"Christ, you're makin' me feel fucking old." He grumbled, taking the phone from Ghost as he handed it over, squinting at the dimly lit screen. "Cute little bugger, isn't he?"
Ghost smiled beneath his mask, watching Price scroll through the countless pictures you'd sent him across the month he'd been back, resisting the embarrassing urge to point out small details of every picture like an art major in a museum, instead keeping quiet and itching slowly to grab his phone back.
"Think you're a good dad?" Price asked, taking Ghost back a bit as he slid his phone back into the confines of his pocket, shrugging his shoulders as he squinted at two figures in the distance.
"Not the worst. Don't think he's got the mental capability to recognise if I'm good or bad to 'im. Least he doesn't cry every time he sees me." He breathed out a chuckle, snapping his mouth shut as he saw Soap and Gaz approach, the conversation sizzling away as they plopped down next to them both.
As the others started talking about another topic, Ghost thought about the question he'd been asked before more in-depth.
He wasn't a bad father, right?
He wasn't like… that.
Simon would be caught dead before even thinking of inflicting onto Tommy the same pain his own father had inflicted onto his family.
Imagining his small boy going through the same trauma, the same horror, the same fear he'd felt during his childhood was enough to tear his cold heart apart.
And he'd never treat you like his father had treated his mother, he'd never subdue you to the same pain she went through every day, he wouldn't let himself fall into the circle of abuse that had started way before his own father.
And Simon wasn't perfect. He knew that.
But he wouldn't stoop as low as his father had during the beginning of his life, where instead of the love and care a child was supposed to receive from his parents, he received the abuse and pain that no one deserved.
Just like him.
He closed his eyes as he remembered the burning shouts as his father berated him, always comparing the both of them and forcing Simon into tears, the mere thought of ending up as horrible as his father reducing him to sobs.
Even now, he still felt sick when he'd stare at the pictures of his father his mother still kept around her room in the nursing home, horrified whenever she'd point out their similar eyes and same blond hair.
But he wouldn't end like that. Despite whatever physical similarity he shared with his father, they had nothing in common personality wise.
Simon wasn't a monster.
He wouldn't hurt you or Tommy.
He wouldn't let anyone hurt you or Tommy.
He was a protector, a soldier trained to serve his country and the civilians who resided within it.
And he would protect. No matter what.
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"S'alright, lovie… Jus' me."
"Simon…" You breathed out, letting your eyes flutter closed as his hands roamed the exposed skin of your chest, broken lips pressing kisses the whole way up to your jaw.
"That's it… Such a good girl f'me… Pretty, pretty girl." His warm hands cupped at your chest, pulling another whine out of you as he toyed with your breasts. "My good girl, right?"
"Mhm…" You mumbled, letting your head loll back onto Simon's shoulder and look up at him through tear covered eyelashes, your brain not functioning properly to process the blurred mass of what you assumed was a man's face staring down at you with those beautiful eyes, his breath hitting your lips as he leaned down to press the kiss you'd been longing for for so goddamn long—
Your body jolted awake, an uncomfortable ache between your legs quickly making itself known as you tossed around in your messy bed, brows furrowed as your brain tried to catch up with your suddenly awakened body.
What had you even been dreaming about?
You rubbed at your eyes with your wrists, digging them deep enough so you saw a few blinding colours, letting go and resorting to staring up at the ceiling.
You didn't even bother checking your phone, already knowing that the only notifications you would have received in the few hours you'd spent asleep were the ones from the dating apps you still didn't have the energy to delete.
None from Simon, of course. He'd been gone for over two weeks by now, which wasn't surprising, since he had let you know that this mission would be a long one and had warned you in advance.
Considering the last mission he'd gone on was almost a month ago (and had only lasted a few days, you think he finished as soon as he could to be back with Tommy, by the way he'd barreled through the house to get to the nursery) and that you and Tommy had gotten him all to yourself for about two weeks straight, you'd expected him to be called sooner or later.
You weren't really looking forward to him coming back, since you'd have to break the news to him that he'd missed Tommy's first attempts to sit up without support and the success that came after.
Luckily, you'd filmed most of it, although you did end up throwing the phone on the sofa to congratulate your son personally, pressing kisses to his chubby rolls and listening to him giggle before accidentally helping him fall back onto your bed, causing him to burst out crying.
Okay, well, maybe you could just edit the final part out.
You were pulling the covers over yourself, snuggling back into the warmth of your mattress before attempting to close your eyes and fall back asleep (hopefully to return to whatever dream you'd been having before), when the sound of the creek of your floorboards snapped you out of it.
Your heart stopped, listening out for any further sounds, breath hitching in your throat as what you feared you'd heard continued, recognising the footsteps going from the living room into the kitchen.
You leaned over to your phone, hoping to God that Simon had finished the mission early and had sent you a quick message telling you he'd be coming back soon, but as you unlocked the phone…
Nothing.
So whoever was walking around your house was not Simon.
You heard muffled whispers, too quiet for you to understand but loud enough to send a cold shiver down your spine.
It terrified you. That cemented the fact that there was actually someone in your home, walking around like it was nothing.
But there was more than one voice. Two. Or was it more?
You assumed the sound that had woken you up had been the door opening, which inflicted even more fear into you at the thought that they must have had a key instead of knocking your door down since the sound hadn't been enough to stick with you after pulling you awake.
Your eyes instinctively darted over to the bedside table, where Simon's gun still laid untouched every since he'd "gifted" it to you, staying frozen until one pair of feet got a bit too close to your door, mind racing and adrenaline pumping through your veins as you scrambled to open the drawer as quietly as possible and pull out the gun and mag with shaky hands, carefully pushing it in before cocking it, hissing at the loud sound it made.
You stepped out of bed, body shaking as you neared the door with the heavy gun in your hand, listening out carefully for what they could be saying.
"—ce gaf. Didn' expect this from ya."
"You're a classy one aren't — your sofa?"
The voices were broken and muffled, leaving your brain to try its best to complete them.
God, this was terrifying. You could feel your whole body shaking, waiting for the moment where it could give out.
It's okay. Deep breaths.
You can do this.
The doorknob rattled, the moment it twisted seemingly happening in slow motion, your heart skipping a beat before you raised your gun up to the attacker, finger grabbing at the trigger just in case they made a dangerous move on you, your frantic eyes meeting the surprised ones of the man you were currently pointing a gun at (which you'd never used before, mind you).
"Steamin' fuckin'-"
You didn't even have time to react before his arm instinctively raised towards you, hand grasping at your throat in an instant, like the only thing he'd been taught to do was to kill.
"What the fuck are you doing!?"
You heard a familiar voice roar as the hand tightened around your throat, the gun now abandoned at your feet as your hands scratched and tugged at your attacker's hand.
The last thing you saw before your eyes clouded over was the large shadow coming up from behind your assailant, their face one that despite the tears that blurred your vision you could tell was ready to rip apart someone.
You didn't even have time to think if it was going to be you or his partner.
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TAGLIST: @selfassassin @ess-perspective-blog @crazyfandomist @webreathfandoms @warners-wife @prodyng @gaycrystalbitch @uhhely @mentallynot-here @jordanwalkersworld @skepticalleo @bratsukisworld @screamingoverfiction @comedinewithmeyeh @gojosbucket @mikasakuchiki @jonhswife @tea-effect @thelittlejinx @cafesho @daddylorianisastateofmind @63sucker @simpingforleoandnico @simonsslvt @embers-of-alluring @uriahs-sketchings @alexisv15 @alexkellersleg @jordanwalkersworld @tabalugax @diekoniginvonfernet @thatoneautor0123 @technicallyvirtualmilkshake @littlezarp @crazyfandomist @hypernovaxx @am-3-thyst @madamemelancholysstuff @lylesx @anxietydrogz @jaymum @coacaiyne @emmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaa @ghostsfavhoe @maviee @pedropascalswhore @d4z01 @beakami (if your name is in white, it means I couldn't tag you!)
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dollbnuuy · 1 year ago
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agere headcanon ask game !
seen a few of these go around and i thought i'd try my hands at making my own! just send me a character and a number :) feel free to rb and do this yourself!
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how did they find out about age regression? did they stumble upon it online? did a friend tell them about it?
do they have a specific age or range they regress to, or do they just go off vibes?
why do they regress? is it trauma or stress related? do they regress to go back to simpler times, or to create new memories? what causes them to regress?
is their regression more voluntary or involuntary? do they ever regress without realizing it?
do they ever find themselves only regressing partially, or do they fully drop when they regress?
are they a stuffie or a blankie kid? both? neither?
do they have a caregiver? are they a caregiver/flip?
in what ways are they different when they're regressed? do aspects of their personality or interests change at all? are they similar to how they were when they were an actual kid, or completely different?
do they identify with any specific labels (regressor, flip, pet regressor, etc.)?
do they have any regression gear (teethers, pacifiers, diapers, specific toys or outfits, etc.)? do they try to hide it from friends/family?
do they fall into any 'regressor stereotypes' (baby talk, loving disney movies, liking pastels, etc.), or do they diverge from the 'norm' (liking horror media, regressing to an older age, etc.)?
do they have any specific nicknames for when they regress? how about nicknames they've given to their caregiver(s) or friends?
what do they like to do when they're regressed? do they like to play pretend, watch tv/movies, color, etc.?
what kind of snacks/drinks do they gravitate towards when regressed? do they use a sippy cup or bottle? how about those little divider plates/trays?
what do they wear when they're regressed? do they have specific clothes, or do they just wear whatever is most comfortable? do they have a comfort article of clothing?
where do they tend to regress? do they mostly regress at home, at the park, at a specific friend's house? do they have a specific place they like to go once they're regressed?
do they prefer to play indoors or outdoors? do they get upset when it rains?
do they take naps? if so, do they take them at a specific time, or just nap whenever they feel like it? do they get fussy over having to take one?
what kind of things do you associate with their regression? is their a specific aesthetic or general 'vibe' you think suits them and their regression?
what is age regression to them? what do they like/dislike? are they proud of their regression, or feel a bit more insecure about it?
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kkayyerr · 13 days ago
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OBX characters reactions to your age regression (+ them as your caregivers). SFW!!
John B
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He’s going to be very careful with you, not pushing you to tell him anything. He knew that you’ll tell him about it on your own terms, when you feel like it, and when you finally did…
Well, he’ll tried his best at being your caregiver. He’s not the one to set some rules or something like that, but he will be looking out for you, so you won’t do stupid things. John B also wouldn’t let you be a part of the dangerous Pogue’s adventures when you are in the littlespace, because he thinks that you are way too fragile for that in those moments.
„No, sweetheart, you can’t go with us today, it’s way too dangerous for you, you’re not ready yet.” John B said, looking at you while you were giving him a pouty face. He knew that you wanted to come with them, but his protective nature just wouldn’t let that happened.
„So stay home and be good for me, okay?” he asked, his tone soft but firm.
You had no other options but to gave up, and nod your head as the sign of the agreement.
„Atta girl.”
JJ
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JJ is actually still child himself (not regressed though). He would be more than happy to find out that now he would have some company. I believe that telling him about that would be the quickest decision you had ever made. He might get confused at first, but then he’ll try his best to make you feel comfortable with him.
If you asked him to be your caregiver, well…
He would be honored.
No boring rules though, discipline is not about him at all.
But if you messed up…
„Baby, I told you to eat, why haven’t you eaten today?“ JJ’s voice wasn’t rough, but he still had some stern expression on his face that you had rarely see. He wasn’t angry with you, more like concerned or disappointed, overall he did care about you health.
You sighed, putting your head down. You didn’t wanted to concern him, you just weren’t feeling like eating, not at all.
„I’m sowwy, JJ.” You said with a lisp and a childish mannerism. „My tummy didn’t wanted too…”
JJ’s face expression quickly switched from concerned to amused one. He found it funny how you were trying to blame your tummy. But it wasn’t something new for him, though. You always were way too stubborn to except your own faults.
„So are you telling me that your tummy is the naughty one here, right?” JJ hummed, pretending to think about that for a moment, before quickly jumping on top of you and starting tickling your tummy, laughing along with you.
„Guess I would have to punish it then…”
Pope
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Let’s be honest, Pope is the smartest and the most responsible one of them all. I think he would’ve find out just by your sudden mood changes and a small changes in your voice when it started to sound more childish than usual. At first he would just reflect on your behavior, trying to keep all your triggers and different reactions to different things in his head. If you ever let him near you when you’re regressing he will be very responsible and gentle. He will make sure that you had your water, that you slept well and that your feelings doesn’t bother you. He won’t lose his temper even if you throw a temper tantrum or will just show him your worst attitude.
„Hey” he said quietly, walking over to you as he saw you sitting alone after storming off from him because of the little argument that usually wouldn’t bother you, not when you regressed, though. Now you were bothered, but you didn’t know how to communicate.
„Listen, if you don’t want to talk that’s fine, I know you’re having a big feelings right now, kid"
Pope put his hand on your knee, lightly touching you just to see your reaction. You didn’t move and he saw that as a green light. He crouched down in front of you, looking you in the eyes. Even though you clearly didn’t wanted to talk, he still wanted to be there for you.
„Nobody’s mad at you, that’s okay. Even grown ups sometimes loses their temper.”
You looked up at him, your lips tugging in a fade, yet happy smile.
“Thank you…”
Rafe
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Note: Things will get pretty dark from here, so I want you to be prepared.
Trigger warnings: Abuse, manipulation, weapon, Stockholm syndrome, just Rafe being himself.
If you think that Rafe Cameron would be a good, typical caregiver you have to think again because you might be a little delusional.
He probably found out about it from Sarah, because she couldn’t kept her mouth shut. She didn’t had any thoughts about the fact that this information might seem very useful for her brother. At first he would just brushed it off, thinking that the whole „age regression” thing is some kind of weird kink, but then he would think about it again.
And then again…
Rafe knew that you were on of the Pogues, which obviously made him disgusted and he wouldn’t even pay attention to you in other situations, but the Pogue who is stuck in her innocent, childish mind? The Pogue who can be manipulated and used for his own advantage?
Yes, that definitely made you interesting for him.
It was another one of those evenings in Outer Banks and yet another fight between Pogues and Kooks started, you couldn’t help yourself and got overwhelmed too quickly. You wanted to help your friends, got whole intention to do so, but suddenly everything became too much. The only place that you find where you could’ve hide was a big bike. You didn’t know who’s it was, and at that moment you didn’t care. You set there, hiding your trembling body behind it, your ears covered with your shaky hands. You were dissociating so badly, that you didn’t even catch on where the whole thing ended. Tears were just kept flushing down your face until you heard footsteps and raised your head.
Rafe Cameron was standing there with a gun in his hand, looking you up and down with a little smirk on his face. You raised your hands.
„Pwease don’t shoot”
You closed your eyes, expecting him to actually hurt you, but instead you felt two strong arms picked you up from the ground. You weren’t protesting, because you knew that he had a gun…and maybe there were other reasons. He took you to the Tannyhill, and to your surprise he was super gentle with you, or maybe that was just your perspective of the situation.
Just like that you unknowingly and unwillingly got yourself a caregiver…a crazy one, though.
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nicksbestie · 7 months ago
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Could you do a sturniolo one (doesn't matter which triplet!) with age regression? I think they would be the sweetest caregivers 🥺
Lovely - N. Sturniolo
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Summary : Being your best friend comes with a lot of love and trust, and Nick is honored to get to see the full extent of that <3
Warnings : None!!
Word Count : 1576
Pairing : Nick Sturniolo/Reader (platonic), Matt Sturniolo/reader (romantic)
A/N : This is an age regression fic, which is purely safe for work and innocent. Any hate/disrespect towards me, my work, or readers, will not be tolerated.
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You were so close with all three of the triplets. They were your best friends, and they had been for a really long time. You had all grown up incredibly close to each other, and had started your online careers within a similar span of time, and that had only brought you closer. The four of you lived together in Los Angeles, and it was often that you would be at the same events together, since you were in the same general circles. You created content together once every little while, and it always did very well, since not only did you both have large audiences, it wasn’t an awkward collaboration that was solely for the views. You did content together because you genuinely loved spending time with each other.
As you had grown into your teenage and adult years, you had developed a thing for Matt, and after a long while of pining, it turned out that Matt had the same feelings for you. After a lot of conversation, Matt had taken you out, and the rest was history, explaining why you were now curled up in his bed, waiting for him to come back home. Even though you all lived together, you still had a separate room, both for just-in-case scenarios, and to make sure that you both had your space if it was ever needed. The both of you also owned a lot of stuff, and it was easier to split them in two different rooms instead of trying to combine them. You were often found in Matt’s room more than your own. 
Along with taking on the role of your boyfriend, Matt had also taken on the role of being your caregiver without a hitch. He had never once acted anything short of overjoyed to be trusted with such a thing, despite being slightly confused during the original conversation. However, he had taken it in stride, and you felt so loved every time that you got to spend that kind of time with him. He was endlessly supportive, and he never felt anything less than love for you. You had wanted to keep it under wraps for a while, and you had, but there had been a day that Matt had slept in when they were supposed to be filming, and Nick had barged into the room, waking Matt, and by default, you, up. 
There weren’t many other ways to explain the way you’d burst into tears, clinging to Matt and begging him not to leave, but luckily, Nick had been just as supportive and understanding as Matt had been. Nick had become the person you trusted almost as much as Matt, given that now he knew one of your biggest secrets, but he had never been anything other than loving about it. You were about a year younger than the triplets, so with Nick being the oldest, he had always been protective over you, and now that had doubled. He wasn’t overbearing, but you could definitely tell that he was watching out for you more than he had before, and you appreciated it more than he knew. Nick had been the person that had been there for you when Matt couldn’t be, and you were so endlessly grateful for the both of them. 
Scrolling through your Pinterest boards, there were, of course, a ton of pictures of Matt, and some of them were so soft and cute. Staring at the photos combined with the littlespace icons underneath a lot of them, you started to really miss him. You were used to him being gone for a little bit, but it seemed to be hitting you a little harder today. Matt had gone back to Boston for the weekend, being a little homesick, and since they had pre-filmed videos, the other two boys stayed in Los Angeles and let Matt head home for a little while. This wasn’t the first time that he had been gone for the weekend, or even longer, but part of this was being caused by the fact that you didn’t sleep great last night, so you were tired, and therefore more sensitive. 
You tried to stop the tears that were forming, reassuring yourself by reminding your mind that he would be home later that evening, but you were falling into the point that you couldn’t really rationalize yourself out of. You really wanted to call your boyfriend, but you didn’t want to bother him while he was having time with his family. So, you tried to keep it to yourself, but as the crying increased, it wasn’t long until someone heard. Luckily, the person who heard was Nick, knowing that Chris was probably in his own world somewhere else in the house. Your phone pinged with a text from Nick, and you wiped away the tears to check what it said. 
Nick!! : hey, u okay?
Seeing the text only made you cry harder, and you knew there was no way he hadn’t heard it. Your thoughts were confirmed when you heard footsteps and a soft knock on the closed door.
“Can I come in?” 
Nick had always been incredibly kind to you, and he was always there when you needed him. You were so endlessly grateful for him being there, and you called out a soft “yes” to let him know he was allowed in. He walked in, and the second his eyes processed what was going on, he immediately sat down next to you, pulling you into a hug. 
“Hey, what’s going on?” 
Crying into his shirt, you weren’t incredibly good at forming words, and because you were slipping into headspace, that didn’t help either. Nick seemed to understand, simply holding you and letting you cry. After a couple of minutes, he picked out a couple of words. 
“Miss him.”
The sadness on his face increased as he understood what you were saying. 
“Honey, I’m so sorry. He’ll be home tonight! I know he misses you too, darling.” 
The pet names and the gentle tone only pushed you further into your littlespace, crying your heart out as Nick gently comforted you, speaking soft comforts as he waited for your crying to cease. It was about noon by this point, and he had a hunch that you hadn’t eaten anything yet. Chris had left about thirty minutes ago, going to hang out with some friends, so he felt sure that it would be okay to get you something to eat. 
“I know, love. I know it’s hard. Why don’t we go get something to eat, and then we’re going to get all comfy and call him!” 
Reassured by the idea of talking to your daddy, you let Nick gently lead you downstairs, tucking you in on the couch, putting on a show to help distract your mind a little bit. He got you some food and some juice in a small cup with a straw, and sat down next to you, hugging you close to his body. He made sure that you had enough room to eat, but still didn’t feel alone. After you had finished your food, he let you gently curl up into him. He pulled up Matt’s contact, sending him a quick text to gauge if he was busy. Matt replied within minutes, letting him know that he wasn’t, and asking if everything was okay. Nick immediately FaceTimed him, and Matt picked up instantly, a concerned look on his face, and it only grew when he saw the tear tracks on your face.
“Somebody’s really struggling with missing their daddy this morning.” 
Your face, despite being littered with tears, lit up at the sight of Matt’s face on the other side of the screen, a smile breaking out. Matt mirrored your smile, a slightly sad look in his eyes. 
“I miss you too, sweetheart. I’ll be home so soon!” 
You nodded, staying close to Nick, smiling and waving at your daddy. He smiled, waving right back. He directed his next question at Nick, noticing that you didn’t seem to want to speak very much. 
“Have they eaten anything?” 
Nick nodded. 
“Yes. I got them some food right before we called you, and they’re still finishing their juice that I poured.” 
Matt smiled, blowing a kiss into the screen at you, watching you smile and pretend to catch it.
“Good. Thank you.” 
“Of course, you know I love them just as much.” 
Behind the phone, Matt was changing his flights to being hours earlier, suddenly desperate to be back in Los Angeles. He couldn’t help the smile on his face, seeing you happily curled up with Nick, juice in hand, show playing, and him being on the screen. After a couple of minutes of soft chatting, both Matt and Nick noticed the big yawn you let out. 
“Aww, is it naptime, baby?” 
Too tired to argue it, you nodded into Nick’s chest, already half asleep. Nick gently took the juice out of your hands, lifting you onto him, letting you hold the phone. 
“Alright, honey, let’s go take a nap. Tell daddy bye bye!” 
Whispering a soft goodbye to Matt, you curled up in Nick’s arms, resting your head on his shoulder. 
“I’ll see you later, angel, I’ll be home sooner than you think!” 
Hanging up, Nick smiled at the text that immediately came in from Matt, telling him that Matt would be home within the next couple of hours. He knew you’d be okay.
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marvelfanfics1 · 3 months ago
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hiii! idk if you’re requests are open but I was wondering if you could do a daddy wade x little girl reader (i can already hear him call her peanut!)where she skins her knee playing but tries to hide it from him and when he finds out she tells him she wanted to regenerate like her daddy🥹
Just like you
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Pairing: daddy!wade x little!reader
Warnings: age regression, fluff, hurt knee, tiny mention of blood, comfort
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As a little with a mercenary as a caregiver who's often gone during the day you know how to keep yourself entertained without getting bored, sometimes watching too much cartoons than you were allowed but other than that you were a good peanut.
Another day with Wade being gone and about to earn some money, with the promise to be there for movie night, you were busy playing to make the time go faster.
Looking through your toy chest you pull out a cape, giggling in delight you quickly fasten it around your neck. You also grab two stuffies to play with, rushing to the living room.
Wade was a hero in your eyes, obviously. He doesn't exactly tells you what happens exactly during his jobs, just snippets and not any gory details for obvious reasons, but nonetheless he's your hero. That's why you love to pretend you are a hero yourself.
As you keep playing that you're rescuing your hostage stuffed bunny from a cat you run around the living room, jumping up and down the couch you lose your balance and fall knees first onto the hardwood floor with a yelp.
You sit on the floor, pouting at your now bloody knees and hesitantly touch one and wince at the sting. "Owie..."
But you don't start crying. Your daddy doesn't cry either, he sucks it up and keeps going with the knowledge that he will regenerate in no time. So, with a huff you get up and continue playing as if nothing happened.
A while later you are sitting on the couch watching a cartoon as you hear the front door unlocking and Wade steps inside, still wearing his suit and carries a bag of takeaway.
"Daddy's home!" He loudly announces himself. "That'll never get old." He walks over to the counter that separates the kitchen from the living area to set down the bag and takes off his mask as well.
The second his hands are free you quickly get up and run into his awaiting arms. "Missed you daddy."
He smiles, picking you up by your thighs and kisses the tip of your nose. "I missed you too, peanut. Bet you had more fun than me. You didn't start our movie night without me, did you?"
"Nooo, I could neva! Waited jus' for you." You giggle, eyeing the bag of food your stomach growls. "What's this?"
"I got your favorite takeout." He says, chuckling at the way you're almost drooling at the sight. "Get settled on the couch and I'll be there in a minute, 'kay?"
You nod enthusiastically, rushing back to your previous spot when Wade set you back on the ground.
Soon enough he got changed into something comfortable and you both are eating your dinner on the couch while he tells you about today's job, making sure it's appropriate for your current headspace.
When you finish eating and Wade has put on the movie you got to choose this week you get more comfortable.
Wade sits back down next to you, grabbing a fluffy blanket to cover you both but stops when he gets a glimpse of your knees. "Peanut, what's this?"
"Huh? Oh, that happened when I was playing hero. S'okay, jus' hurts a little!" You shrug it off with a smile.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He sighs.
"Wanted to be like you daddy." You mumble, looking down at your hands.
His eyes soften at that, a small smile replacing his frown. "Like me?"
"Mhm, wanted to regenerate like you 'cause is so cool!"
"Oh peanut, you're too sweet for this world. Wait here, I'll be right back."
Sure enough he comes back with a pack of hello kitty bandaids, kneeling down beside the couch and quickly unwrapping two of them, placing them carefully on your knees. "There, all patched up. You're still just like me, y'know? You just need a little longer to regenerate than me and that's okay."
"Really?" You ask a little uncertainty, tilting your head.
"Oh, hell yeah. You're just as cool as me and that means we deserve this." He pulls out two lollipops and you squeal, instantly reaching out for it. "Let me unwrap it first."
He settles back down next to you, letting you snuggle into his side before taking the wrapping off and handing you your treat.
He wraps an arm around you, kissing your head. "You'll always be my cool peanut."
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ✧˖°
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purple-babygirl · 8 months ago
Text
don't call me daddy IV
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader
Word count: 5,540
Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.
Warnings: crying, a flu, coughing, shots, age regression
A/N: forgive me for the lateness with this one. i was very sick, like bed-ridden sick, and when i got a little better i got to writing right away. please be kind to me with this one, i'm still high on meds:" please enjoy xx💜💜
~
“Call me daddy.”
“What?” She was suddenly pulling away as if Bucky was made up of scorching metal.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” He asked with a small smile, wiping any residue tears on his face.
What she wanted… he was only suggesting that she called him daddy because he thought it was what she wanted? Was this his way of returning the favor because she hugged him after a nightmare?
Now she was really hurt.
Bucky was unknowingly emphasizing the fact that he didn’t want this type of relationship, didn’t want her. He was only doing it to show gratitude.
“No.” She shook her head, getting up from the floor.
“No?” Bucky was genuinely confused as he followed her with his eyes.
He thought he was finally making things right, giving her what she wanted.
“I wanna go back.”
“What?!”
“I wanna go back, please take me back.” Her voice wasn’t even sad or frantic, only small and disheartened.
“Back where?! The couch is right there if you wanna go!” Bucky became angry again.
He felt rejected and he felt small. Was it his touch that made her pull back? Was it the daddy thing? Was he so repulsive?
“No, back, out of here.”
“Back where?! It’s the middle of the night!” Bucky raised his voice in frustration, the nightmare nerves barely out of his body.
Has she lost her mind? Why was she acting like this now? What was he supposed to do to please her and her little mind?
“Take me back to Mrs. Morrison,” she insisted calmly as she collected her slippers and stashed them back in her bag.
He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth, not getting what happened or where he went wrong.
She wasn’t even tearing up, it was like a switch has flipped inside of her.
“Just— just talk to me, okay? What happened?” Bucky fervently needed her to stop, needed to understand.
“Bucky was right. This isn’t gonna work. Please just take me back.”
Her words reopened Bucky’s wounds that her sweet gestures had once closed. What did she mean “isn’t gonna work”? Was he just deemed irredeemable? Again?
“But why?!”
“I just wanna go back.” Was all she gave him; no explanation and no reasons.
Bucky wouldn’t understand.
“You know what? Fine! I’ll take you back first thing in the morning. Go back to the fucking couch, stay away from me!”
She silently got the wolf stuffie, leaving it on the kitchen counter, and went back, no crying and no trials to correct him on his choice of bad words.
Did she really want to leave? Was she really going to leave him come morning?
~
When it was lit up enough, Bucky went for a run, trying to blow off some steam because he felt like he was about to explode.
Why did he let her in? He shouldn’t have done that. She didn’t deserve to get this close, no one did.
Did he seriously think he was accepted and understood by this stranger after 7 days of time together?
No matter what the purpose she was serving was, she could never understand how hard Bucky had had it.
Still, something kept pulling him to her. Something inside of him didn’t want her to leave him. Not now that he was used to her; that he wanted to be used to her.
It's been only a week and Bucky was ready to give human relationships another chance. She made him feel like healing wasn’t a faraway dream.
He was going to try and talk to her one last time and if she still wanted to leave, he would gladly let her.
When he opened his door, she was dressed and waiting for Bucky on the couch, ready to go.
“So you were serious about leaving?” Bucky asks as he kicks his shoes off.
“Yes. Bucky is gonna take me back, right?”
“If that’s really what you want?”
She didn’t trust her voice so she just nodded.
“Why?”
“Just because.”
“Talk to me like I’m talking to you!” Bucky snapped.
She remained silent this time, not ready for a fight.
“Why do you wanna leave? What did I do?”
“Bucky didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?!”
“That is it.”
“What?!”
“Bucky didn’t do anything. Bucky didn’t even look at Doll’s file. Bucky never even called Doll Doll.” Only now did her tears come back, rolling down her cheeks with ease as she spilled out all that she’s been holding inside of her, “Bucky never wanted Doll.”
“I— I didn’t have time to look at the file. We were in a hurry so I picked the first one in the batch!” Bucky tried to explain, but quickly realized what he'd said.
A sob escaped her at the revelation that she was picked at random, that it could’ve been anyone else and that he really never wanted her.
“That’s not what I meant. I— listen, at first maybe I didn’t want you, but it’s different now!”
“Bucky never even picked me?” She cried, her broken voice crushing his heart.
“I—”
“Please take me back.” She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing.
“But—”
“Please, Bucky, please.”
The way she begged him with teary eyes and a shaky voice made Bucky stand up despite himself to put his shoes back on to take her back.
He might’ve not gotten a chance to explain himself, but he’s done her enough damage and he wasn’t going to continue being the reason she cried when she has been the reason he stopped.
“Let’s go.” Bucky pursed his lips and opened the door for her, her bag in hand, knowing it will never be the same when he came back.
~
“Doll, now that you’re big at least tell me anything, dear. Did he do anything—”
“He didn’t do anything, Mrs. Morrison. I promise you. Bucky was nothing but a gentleman with me.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s nothing. I just think I wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have listed my little self as ready.” She shook her head with a polite smile.
Mrs. Morrison wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t push her anymore.
“Alright, dear. I’ll go finish the report so Bucky’s therapist can get her copy in the morning.”
“Mrs. Morrison, please,” she held the older woman’s hand imploringly, “Bucky didn’t do but good. Make sure you’re just to him in your report.”
“Okay, doll. Whatever you say, dear.” She woman shook her head, giving up the argument before standing up and leaving the room.
It wasn’t the full truth, but she did believe she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t going to be ready for a long time, so it was better if she just went back home and let herself be grounded a little.
~
“Please, I need to see her.” Bucky begged in front of Mrs. Morrison’s desk.
“Not before you tell me what you did to her, Mr. Barnes!”
“I— I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s what she said too, but I know it’s not the truth!”
“Wait, what? I— please let me see her.”
“She’s not here, Sergeant Barnes.”
“What? Where is she?”
“Home,” the woman replied shortly, still mad at Bucky.
“I thought that was where they lived?”
The woman shook her head in disappointment, “you never read your copy of the file, did you?”
Bucky remained silent, too embarrassed to speak. Why did everyone keep asking about the damn file!
“No, they don’t live here. She went back to her life at her house.”
“Well, can you give me the address?”
“Of course, not! That’s private information and you two don’t even seem to have ended on good terms!”
“Please? I need to fix this.”
“You already had time to do that, Mr. Barnes.”
“Well… At least give me a chance to apologize.”
“I don’t know.” The woman hesitated.
“Please, I’ll do anything.” Bucky begged sincerely.
“Anything?” Mrs. Morrison smiled suddenly, making Bucky worry a little, but he meant his words nonetheless.
“Anything.”
~
“Corgi, calm down!” Bucky heard her sweet laugh as she approached the dog’s barks.
“You call your corgi Corgi?” He asked her with a smile.
“Bucky, what are you doing here?” Her smile quickly disappeared and a surprised frown replaced it.
“I—”
“Okay, I finished moving the new planters to the right side like you wanted— hello?” The man who cut Bucky off was offering him a hand.
Bucky shook it coldly, his signature frown staring the man down, “hey.”
“I’m Adam,” the man said with a friendly smile.
“Sergeant James Barnes.”
“Bucky, this is Adam, my best friend and neighbor, Adam, this is Bucky… a friend.” She introduced them, not sure of what to say about Bucky.
Meanwhile, Bucky felt something weigh down on him. Was it the fact that he wished she said more than just “a friend”? Was it the presence of this Adam guy? Was that… jealousy?!
“Right, so I’m gonna go now, but call me if you need anything, okay?” Adam said, looking at them both suspiciously.
“I will. Thank you for today, Adam. You’re the best.�� She gave the man a hug, smiling from ear to ear as she did it, too.
That was a smile Bucky has never seen.
“I know I know. Bye, Corgi! Bye, Sergeant, nice to meet you!” Adam shouted as he walked out of her porch.
Bucky only nodded even though he knew the man couldn’t see him. He didn’t care if he was rude. Who was that anyway?
She was expecting Bucky to talk when Adam was gone but he just stood there, fiddling with the bag in his hand as he stared at her, so she didn’t say anything either.
She was done initiating. If he came all the way here on his own, he could start a conversation on his own.
“Who was that?”
“Really? You came all the way here to ask me that?”
He stuttered and swallowed, knowing fully well that he had no right to such a question.
“You seem different.”
“You mean big?” She smiled sadly, noticing how much more comfortable Bucky was dealing with her like that.
Bucky nodded guiltily, scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah, I do have a life and responsibilities after all.” She shrugged, gesturing to her house and the puppy by her feet.
She was disappointed to say the least. First, he gave her a terrible week with him, then he returned her and never looked back and now he was on her porch for no clear reason or explanation, questioning her and her life?
Still, she felt a spark of hope in her chest at the fact that he was standing before her. There must’ve been a reason he came and it couldn’t be so he could fight more.
Bucky felt embarrassed, tongue-tied with guilt as he’s forgotten everything he has been wanting to say.
Then the sky started speaking for him, thundering loudly and making her jump with a hand on her heart.
“Oh, it’s gonna rain. Let’s go inside.”
For some reason, he assumed she was talking to the puppy but when she kept looking at him, Bucky gratefully moved his feet.
~
Her house was the epitome of coziness. It was a true home and it was nothing like Bucky’s.
It had actual furniture, colorful pieces he knew were carefully picked. It had wallpaper and picture frames and kitchenware and cute mugs and plates.
Only now did he know how much shit she could’ve given him for the place he made her stay in, but she didn’t.
“Bucky!”
“Yes?”
“I asked about your favorite tea.” She smiled, motioning to a number of varieties on her shelves.
“A coffee would be fine.”
“I’ll just make you earl grey with me.” She shrugged, ignoring his choice for a coffee at this relatively late hour of the evening.
“Hey!”
“It’s my house, my rules, old man!”
Wow! Big her was kind of feisty and it was making Bucky smile.
“What do you have there?” She asked, looking at the small plastic bag that Bucky’s been carrying in his hand.
“Oh, I— this is for you.” He handed her the bag, cheeks burning as he was still brand new when it came to such gestures.
“Oreos! And wolfie!” She called out happily when she looked inside the bag, “thank you so much!” She squeezed the tips of his fingers, smiling at him like he’d gotten her a rare diamond.
When she let go of his hand to open the package and taste the cookies, Bucky felt fear settle in his chest at the idea of having lost her forever.
He watched her try to hide the hug she was giving the white stuffed wolf before slipping it to her curious dog, “careful, Corgi.”
She didn’t lecture or blame him about his treatment of her, yes, nor did she even bring up the week she stayed at his house, but would she be willing to forgive him? Would she give him another chance?
Instead of screaming at him, she was sitting him down on a comfortable couch that had a soft blanket draped over it and serving him tea and cake. What kind of angel was she?
“If you don’t like it, I’ll make you coffee. But taste it first,” she set the tray with tea cups and a plate with a couple of cake slices on the little wooden coffee table and Bucky knew the smell of this tray was the only thing missing from her living room.
Now it was all perfect. It suited her so well.
“I made lime key cake this morning so you’re in luck. It goes really well with earl grey,” she told him, trying to get him to talk, to tell her why he was at her place a week later at 9 in the evening.
But he only nodded.
She didn’t push him. She has done enough coaxing and enough pushing. She didn’t have to do that anymore. If Bucky wanted to talk, he would have to talk on his own.
But he didn’t.
An hour later, she was getting sleepy and the rain was pouring even harder.
“I— I better go.” He stood up, patting his pockets nervously as if to make sure his belongings were in place.
So he came all the way here for nothing? He found her house and rode on his motorcycle all the way here for nothing?
“No way, you can’t drive your motor cycle in this rain!”
“I’m a super soldier, I don’t get sick,” Bucky argued with a smile, heart swelling at the idea that she still cared for him.
“I don’t care. The roads are slippery. It’s dangerous!”
“But—”
“No buts. You can have my bed, let me show you the room,” she said, never giving him space for a reply as she led the way to her bedroom.
“You really don’t have to. I can take the couch.” Or the floor
“The couch is mine. Corgi cries at night and doesn’t like to sleep alone. He’s still just a puppy.”
“Why don’t you just move his crate to your bedroom?”
“Because there’s a system in this house, Sergeant. We’re disciplined people.” She smiled playfully, “good night.”
And just like that, Bucky was alone in her bedroom, with her bed and sheets and blankets, where all the pillows smelled like her hair shampoo and the air was light and sweet. He was in heaven.
Bucky took his jacket off, draping it over the armchair by her vanity and her perfumes caught his eye.
He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself as he picked up the first bottle and neared it to his nose.
Oh, lord, was this sexy. He imagined himself eating her up if he was to smell this perfume on her skin. It was captivating and it went well with her playful grown up personality.
He tried another bottle and it was a softer scent that he knew all too well. It was the one she wore when she was staying at his house. It smelt angelic, soft and welcoming.
Bucky had to stop himself from going down the line of perfumes because he didn’t think he could keep going.
He’d better go to bed and try to catch a few hours of sleep before the mind attacks started.
Grabbing a pillow that smelled like her, Bucky made himself as comfortable as could be on the wooden floor next to her bed, draping her overly soft blanket on his body.
~
“You call it a disciplined house but you don’t even have a dining table,” Bucky teased as he helped her bring the rest of the plates to the coffee table.
He was right actually. She lied last night. She could easily take Corgi to the bedroom with her, but what kind of hospitality would that be to give Bucky the couch when it was his first time visiting?
“At least my coffee table has space for more than 2 noodle cups,” she teased right back, hardly biting a smile.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her sassiness, smiling like an idiot at how easy she made everything.
Talking was easy around her. Existing was easy around her. Breathing was easy around her. And oh did he miss her.
“So…” she trailed, pouring orange juice in Bucky’s glass.
She couldn’t stay silent anymore. She had to understand why Bucky found her house and came to her after he’d clearly proven he didn’t want her. She wanted and tried to be the bigger person, but if he had something to say, she was ready to hear it now.
“I— I came here to say I’m sorry,” Bucky finally said the words that have been sitting on the back of his tongue for so long.
“Bucky…” she locked her eyes with his for a second, unable to read him, “you didn’t have to come all the way here. I didn’t tell Mrs. Morrison anything.”
The way she reassured him broke his heart. It was as if she wholeheartedly believed that all Bucky cared about was the final report.
But he cared about so much more. He cared about fixing this. He cared about her.
“I know. I did.”
“What?!”
“I told her everything.”
“Bucky— why?”
“I had to make it right.”
“Well, what did she say?” She chewed her lower lip nervously, worried everything has been ruined for Bucky.
“She made me serve a few hours at the institution and only when she got everyone’s approval did she agree to give me your address.”
“Everyone’s approval of what?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“Of my storytelling skills,” Bucky replied proudly, putting some cheese on her plate for her when he noticed her freeze.
“Your storytelling— what?!” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a huge smile breaking on her face.
“I spent a few nights reading bedtime stories to the residents there and I’ll have you know I did a pretty good job, though most of them wanted lullabies so I stole some of yours—”
“Hold on! You, Bucky Barnes, read bedtime stories and sang lullabies to littles at the institution?”
“Yes, I did.” Bucky nodded with a shrug.
“You did all of this so you could have my address?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I missed you, doll.”
“Doll?” Her eyes instantly teared up at the sole use of the name coming from him.
“And to tell you that I got to meet everyone that was available at the same time you were and none of them could ever compare. They’re all amazing people, but none of them made me feel like you’ve made me feel in that short week,” Bucky admitted softly, eyes hesitant to leave his fingers.
“I was terrible to you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m sorry. I know now that I should’ve been better.”
“Bucky, it’s okay,” she said with a content smile, simply satisfied with his presence as she passed him the bread. That apology was genuinely enough for her.
“No, doll, it’s not. I— I did the opposite of everything a caregiver should’ve done. It's just… you made me nervous, scared.” Bucky admitted.
“I scared you?” She scoffed in surprise. She wasn’t expecting this one.
“Yes. The way you were fully yourself, the way you weren’t afraid to show it, the way you did the effort to relieve yourself of whatever you were suffering from, it all scared me. How you openly cried when you needed to. It scared me because I didn’t know how to be like you. I didn’t know how to choose trust and kindness again after everything that had happened to me. Your courage scared me.”
“Oh, Bucky.” Tears rolled down her face as she desperately felt the need to hold him and kiss every inch of him better, “why didn’t you talk to me? I would’ve understood.”
“I tried… that day… but talking about it made me wanna close up on myself even more. It made me more scared. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. And I can’t help it,” Bucky’s voice trembled as he fought his own tears.
He couldn’t believe he said those words out loud to someone else.
She left her seat and went to sit next to Bucky on the couch, her hands finding his and holding onto them for dear life.
“But when I came home to an empty living room after dropping you off at the institution, I knew what I'd lost. I realized what an asshole I’ve been to you. And I missed you. I missed you so much when I closed the door and you weren’t on the couch looking at me,” he poured his heart out to her with tears in his eyes.
She squeezed his hand more, trying to hug his fingers with hers but they were too short to fully cover his hands.
“You don’t have to give me another chance, but I felt like I could’ve died if I didn’t tell you how sorry I was and am. I’m sorry I didn’t give myself time to understand you and appreciate you for everything that you were, doll. I’m sorry I was so stupid and let you slip away from my hands. I’m sorry I was undeserving of your kindness and softness and love,” Bucky told her with tears pouring down his face, matching hers as she finally got to listen to all that he had to say.
“I really am sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to be a good daddy to you and I’m sorry I didn’t try to learn. It’s all my fault because you, doll, deserve someone who would bust their ass trying for you,” Bucky sighed, “but if you’d let me, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll allow me doing that.”
“Thank you for finding me.” She threw herself in his arms and Bucky felt his soul come back to him as he held her tight to his body.
“Thank you for welcoming me back in despite everything I’ve put you through. I know I don’t deserve it.” Bucky squeezed her closer, the smell of her hair calming his senses.
“You’re welcome.” She pulled back to wipe his tears away, giving him a smile prettier than anything he’s ever seen, “now let’s eat before the eggs go cold.” She wiped her eyes quickly before grabbing the spoon and putting some eggs on Bucky’s plate.
“Does that smile mean you forgive me, doll?” Bucky asked hopefully.
“I forgive you, Sarge.” She smiled at him, what was in her heart showing in her eyes.
“You won’t regret it,” he promised, putting some food in his mouth to stop any upcoming tears.
They ate silently in peace for a second before Bucky spoke out.
“Seriously though, who was that Adam guy?!”
“Way to ruin a moment, Bucky,” she teased.
But Bucky didn’t smile. He remained silent waiting for her answer with a tiny frown.
“I told you he’s my best friend and he lives next door.”
 Bucky’s frown deepened slightly. So that man got to see her every day huh?
“With his wife,” she added, biting back a smile as she watched his face relax.
“Don’t toy with me like that, doll.”
“I couldn’t help it. This is all new to me and I’m having fun!”
“Does he come here a lot?”
“Yes, Bucky. It’s what friends do, they visit,” she laughed.
“I don’t see Sam that often and we’re fine.” He shrugged unconvincingly, making her laugh more.
“He’s a good man, you’ll come to like him. Plus, he helped me a lot those past weeks and took care of my garden and Corgi while I was away so I owe him.”
“So I’m seeing a farmer now?” Bucky teased.
“Oh look who’s not so quiet anymore!” She teased back with a giggle, “at least my fridge never runs out of tomatoes.”
“Can I ask you something?” Bucky asked, his face serious again.
She nodded in reply, a smile gracing her patient features.
“Why did it bother you so much when I told you to call me daddy?”
She hummed, letting go of her fork.
“It’s okay if you don’t wanna answ—”
“It made me feel like you were returning a favor. Doing something because you felt like you had to do it, like it was the right thing to do, but not because you really wanted it. Yes, I wanted to call you daddy with my whole heart, but only if you wanted it too. It hurt because at the time I knew you still hadn’t accepted me for who I was and was just saying that so you could repay me for the hug I was giving you.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bucky shock his head in remorse, “I will never understand how you managed to put up with me for a whole week.”
“It’s because I know what it’s like to feel unwanted, Bucky. I know what it feels like to be unloved and unaccepted, especially by those who should give you unconditional love.”
“Family?” Bucky asked with a sad smile.
She nodded with a similar smile, “I know what it’s like to be more than your pain and anger with others only seeing the snapping and frowning. Little me doesn’t want anyone else to feel unloved like that because she knows how bad it all is. So she gives. She’s patient and she’s kind and sometimes I don’t think I could’ve accessed that part of myself if it wasn’t for her.”
“How so?”
“Grown ups are more cautious because they always have the consequences to things like vulnerability right in front of their eyes. We’re more likely to be afraid to show our hearts because we know we could get hurt bad because of it. Little me isn’t scared of that. She wakes up brand new every day. She wears her heart on her sleeve and trusts her love to do the magic.”
“You’re an amazing person.” Bucky raised her hand to his lips to press a timid kiss without much thought, “I guess I have a lot to learn from you, doll.”
“Don’t say stuff like that!” She whined playfully, cheeks going hot as she turned away shyly, “plus, do you have a death wish?” She raised a playful eyebrow.
“It’s true though— what?”
“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” she teased, reminding him of the time she kissed his cheek on her first day at his house.
Bucky smiled sheepishly, whispering out an apology even though he knew she was joking.
Bucky stopped himself when she started coughing abruptly.
She’s been coughing a little here and there since morning, but he didn’t think anything of it.
She shook her head, still coughing as she ran to the bathroom, needing to find any sort of cold medicine. She knew what this was.
Bucky hurried behind her, “what’s wrong?”
In a second, she was bending forward, coughing her heart out.
“Are you okay?!”
She shook her head again, trying to calm down, “I thought it was just a sore throat but it’s getting worse.”
“Let’s get you to the doctor,” Bucky said, worry eating away inside his chest as he watched her cough more.
He quickly grabbed her jacket and keys, leading her out to her car.
~
“It’s because I let you sleep on the couch, isn’t it? You got cold,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair nervously as he paced around the room.
He hasn’t stopped blaming himself since they’d returned from the doctor’s. She caught a bad flu and Bucky quickly believed it was his fault.
“No, Bucky. It’s not that.”
“You don’t have to defend me, doll. It’s because of me. I’ve managed to hurt you again. And I don’t even use beds. I should’ve never let you sleep out here.”
“Hey! Calm down please! It’s not you... It was me.” She released a sigh, biting her lip.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when the rain got even worse after you went to bed. I thought I’d come out and cover the motorcycle so that it wouldn’t get all muddy and you’d have a hard time cleaning it,” she explained, fiddling with her fingers.
“That’s still because of me,” Bucky sighed.
“Come on, it’s not like you made me!” Her hoarse voice tried to reassure.
Bucky only ran his fingers through his messy hair again, not knowing what to say or do to make this one right.
“Bucky, please, I’m sick. All I want is for you to stay beside me and not blame yourself.” Her frown was back to her beautiful face and Bucky didn’t like it, “can you do that for me?”
He didn’t like how sick and scratchy her voice sounded either so he wasn’t about to make talk more with a throat like that.
“I’ve already proven I suck at taking care of you, doll,” Bucky chuckled sadly.
“Do you want forgiveness or not?” She joked.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m right here.”
“Is it dangerous for you though? I don’t want you to get it too.”
“I can’t get sick, remember?” Bucky smiled, rubbing her back lightly, “I’m your nurse now.”
“Is that so?” She giggled.
“Yeah.” He nodded confidently.
“You’re definitely not dressed for it,” she teased, giving him her tongue.
“Oh, are you into that kinda thing, doll?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile she has never seen before on his pink lips.
“Bucky!” She squealed, hiding her face with the covers, making Bucky laugh.
The sound was heaven to her ears and despite being awfully sick, she couldn’t wish for a better outcome for Bucky’s visit.
“Shit, here it comes again,” she gulped before starting another fit of harsh coughing.
“Bad word,” he whispered to her, making her smile tiredly as she continued coughing.
~
“I don’t wanna go,” she whined as Bucky gently forced her arm inside her jacket.
“We have to. You need your shots to get better.” Bucky covered her head with the hood of her jacket to make sure she was warm before leading her outside.
“But shots hurt,” she whined more with teary eyes.
“I’ll be right there, remember?”
“That’s not gonna do anything!” She whined further.
“Hey!” Bucky pretended to be hurt as he helped her inside the car.
She sighed with a grateful smile, “fine, hugs or I don’t go.”
“Hugs it is.” Bucky smiled back, taking seat next to her before starting the car.
~
“No, no, no, please. I’m not ready, I don’t want it. Give me pills instead, give me pills,” she cried in Bucky’s chest as she saw the doctor get the shot ready.
“Doll, it’s okay, I promise. I got you,” Bucky said, feeling as helpless as ever.
He wished he could get the shots for her, but it wasn’t possible. He could feel something different about her. She looked like she was slipping into her little headspace and it made Bucky nervous, oh so nervous, that he might mess up and not be able to deal with her again.
She barely calmed down enough for Bucky to help her small hands lower her pants just enough for the doctor to have space to push the needle in.
She moaned in pain as she hid her face in Bucky’s chest, crying for real when she felt the strong medicine inside the needle spread inside her.
“It stings. It stings bad,” she sobbed, hands clutching Bucky’s shirt as he covered her behind again and made sure she was properly covered.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’re going home now, it’s over,” Bucky cooed, rubbing and patting her back with his big hand.
“It hurts, daddy,” she sniveled in his ear and Bucky froze.
Those innocent teary eyes looking up at him like that made him feel a lot of things. But most importantly, they made him feel like he could do this. He could take care of this sweet girl without messing up this time. Her love would show him how.
“I got you, doll. Daddy’s got you.”
~
part V
~
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