#And somehow Universe got Stylish One mixed up

[buttercupshands]

That simulation try just turned into a tragedy play in the end with betrayal, revenge and.... Looping back in time.

Just casually becoming family with yourself and your God (and some random Sadnesses)

And then this happened

Siffrin casually avoided the Feast while Stylish one killed Loop again

And then Siffrin casually showed that looping is a Siffrin thing.

And won this round too

Also Universe still lead and some people followed

Playing hunger games simulator with 24 different characters and these two still insist on recreating In Stars and Time

[yanderefairyangel]

Ranting about Go away Romeo

So, i have already been ranting a bit about Rosaline tellings of RomiJuri but I didn't went into great details (at least to me) about what makes them specifically not work and this one webtoon called Go Away Romeo has been renting free in my mind so I kinda want to rant about it

Warning : spoilers, potential mention of triggering subjects and in general pretty negative about this adaptation

So Go Away Romeo is a webtoon putting a twist on Shakespeare's play and focusing on a universe where RomiJuri didn't die while Rosie serves as a protag

In this timeline, Rosie feels invisible in her family and falls for Romeo, the two of them have a secret relationship but Romeo becomes cold as time goes on. Her life is shaken by the death of her cousin Juliet and that of Romeo, however she discover that she is pregnant with his child, so a child born of wedlock called Mino. Problem is that the lovers weren't dead, they succefussly faked their death and run away into Mantua while Rosaline (somehow) discovers all of this and 3 years later, she is focused on trying to make her son accepted by the aristocracy, catching the eye of Prince Escalus and Count Paris, howvever Romeo and Juliet ends up comming back and potentially threaten her now peaceful life : what's a poor girl to do ?? Willl Rosaline manage to protect what she holds dear from big bad Romeo ?

As you can tell from my tone this premise had me mixed... Conceptually speaking, antagonistic Romeo is hot and Romeo and Juliet being a villain couple sound very stylish however in this day and age, Romeo Montague is a character who suffers from villanization on all side for reasoning that are kinda dumb which makes me on the fence about such portrayal....

That being said, I was still willing to give the webtoon a try, hoping that maybe, MAYBE, they would be able to live up to the conceptual promises of this story...

Oh boi.... oh was it not it.... it was sooooooooooooooo disappointing

And before you all go in and go "well a retelling doesn't have to stick perfectly faithfully to the original" and look, I am at no point saying that a retelling straying from it's source material is a problem.

Again, Shakespeare himself went to adapt this story from a poem by Arthur brooke, whom also took liberties from the faithful translation made by William Painter of Bandello's version, which also deviates slightly from Da porto's version who completely changed anything comming from Masuccio Salernitano's version safe for a few plot beats (and don't worry Lope de Vega I ain't forgetting about you)

These are fine but it's also fine to question whether or not these changes are meaningful and it the concepts were well executed

Moreover, to ensure that it wasn't my Shakespeare biais that wasn't blinding my judgement, I forced an innocent bystander who NEVER read the play and only knew the outline of the story (my mutual) to read through it and we both came to similar conclusions before I told him about how much the webtoon broke away from it's inspiration which got him to ask "... then what was the point of using Romeo and Juliet as a source ?"

So what can I say about it... maybe let's start by the art and designs because I am very mixed about it

For the record I actually like a lot of designs, Rosaline looks very pretty, Mino is cute, Escalus and Paris are pretty by the books when it comes other characters tho.... well

Benovolio is eh honestly, not a big fan. I actually like Tybalt's design but god... this design doesn't suit him at all !!! (but so does his webtoon personality)

As for Mercutio... move on. I. freaking. hate. this. design. I.can't.stand.it.....

I mean look at him

UGGGGH

Regarding Romeo and Juliet, I am glad the webtoon had the deceny to keep the "contrast" motif that can be found in adaptations

Let me explain. I have read my fair share of adaptations and I have noticed a pattern : 1) The Capulets are in red and the Montague are in blue (as seen here, the webtoon also does that) 2) Romeo and Juliet's design is made to contrast each other, if Romeo has dark hair Juliet has lighter hair, if Romeo has lighter hair then Juliet will have darker hair

In this iteration Romeo has darker hair (brown) and Juliet ligther hair (blonde) and I think they look kinda nice when the webtoon isn't doing something that kinda annoyed me

(my fav art of them they look so good there)

Regarding the fashion sense I like a lot of them but also sometimes I have qualms about it

See webtoons like to have their female lead have thousands of different outfit and different hairstyle but Rosaline often reuses the same clothing and the problem is that it can serves as time check for readers so it happens that having Rosaline wear the same clothing makes the timeline more confused + makes it difficult to remember in which chapter she wore something and thus to remember in which specific chapter X or Y event happened

Moreover... I have other qualms but more on that later

And yeah it's time to dwell into the artstyle and I am... mixed... I think it's pretty but also sometimes I am a bit taken off by it notably the change of weight in the lineart and sometimes it made me wonder if the artist was the same due to the way it evolved

Also my qualm, the lips. The artist draws lips by using a soft pink glow which is mostly used for female characters or male characters supposed to be hot (implying this version of Tybalt isn't somehow) which was fine at first, Miss not so Sidekick had that and it wasn't that jarring to me but hum...

As time went on, it became bigger and more troublesome, especially for male characters

That's just a nitcpick tho, others complains i have is the very clear overreliance on CSP assets and... look normally I don't judge because they are meant for that but sometimes they use 3D ressources and don't even draw them !!! like I get having a webtoon means shorter delays but come on !!

(I will come back to talk about this please wait bear with me) this scene is clearly meant to hightlight the fish yet said fish is just in 3D... like it could have been very easy to just translate it in 2D (speaking as someone who use CSP... and ends up drawing everything by hand because I am too used to it) this just feels jarring to have everything 2D and the random 3D elements....

Other issue would be that it creates accidental anachronism. See the thing with most webtoon is that they take place in a fictional western historical period that isn't really specific where they can basically do whatever they want, especially as a lot of them tend to have rather soft worldbuilding even if based on clothing alone, 17th, 18th and 19th century aesthetic are the most used and often mixed together but you know, because it's a lalala land we can excuse it

But when you choose RomiJuri, a play set in Verona, you are kinda stuck to real life Italy and granted, you can try to pull some stuff to get back liberty as a writer such as placing them in a modern setting (Romeo + Juliet) or some sci fi cosmic twist for the setting (like Romeo x Juliet did) but Go Away Romeo doesn't do any of this, we are lead to believe we are in Verona, the same Verona Shakespeare set his plot in, so 14th century Verona.

Thing is that historical accurency doesn't really offer the possibility to be as stylish as one desires so I am usually very lenient on that and don't really care that the characters are more dressed with 16 century fashion than 14th, doesn't really matter but... I draw the line at some stuff such as the settings

The inn don't feel like inns but restaurants which are overly used in webtoon and what made me lose it was ... well this

There are more of this and look, I get it, CSP's mob brushes and image material are helpful when it comes to save times but... we have established the clothing is supposed to follow 16th century fashion... why is there suddendly 19th century clothing appearing ???? What is going on ??

Again I generally don't mind much anachronism and God knows Shakespeare didn't really care about being faithful to history either (in Shakespeare's voice :" What do you mean Danemark was the one to conquer Norway ? Nah, you read wrong")

These type of moments really breaks immersion and you know what else does ? The fanservice...

Yeah see, despite it's apparently innocent premise the webtoon still aims at being serious and all but there are wayyy too many moments aimed purely for fanservice to the point of making a lot of moments feel strange.....

Yeah here it's more of a fashion problem than anything but Romeo's open cleavage doesn't work for the type of clothing he is wearing, it makes it look like someone ripped off Romeo's shirt to show off his abs and he tried to fix it by adding lace .... and... aaaa...you know who pulled it off good ? Mabinogi Hamlet

Now weird fanservice moment 2, Paris is being a lot, and i mean a LOT shirtless, like when he paints (yes he paints) we see his abs through his shirts, we see him wearing naught but a very revealing dressing gown a lot of times etc.

And the winner is Escalus as he fishes a fish naked (entirely naked) and proposes to Rosaline (yes it's a real scene)

Look I get it, fanservice for the ladies and anime does it too but you know that fanservice can be distracting right ? Well, here it is, especially this Escalus scene like who thought it would be a good idea seriously it just feels so strange.... ahhh anyway now let's more on to the actual story criticism and as a stand alone

This is... so by the book. Like a lot of webtoons have a very by the book scenarios but this one doesn't even try to exploit it's interesting premise, no it's just your average webtoon, literaly everything in it, every plot beat is something you'd find in any other webtoon

Also the plot is ... nonsensical but this mainly comes from how the characters are written for sure, like there are so many plot points that are just randomly thrown away and never expanded

For example, there is a girl called Claudia who appears at first to be a minor antagonist who will play the role of the mean girl as we see in many webtoons... well no, because she doesn't, despite seeming like she will she just appears a few times and never again.... I wish I could be kidding, I even forgot she existed !!! Like what was the point of pretending to have a mean girl and then not using it ??? Why ??

Then we have Rosaline's rivalry with her own father and her uncle, Bernardo Capulet, Juliet's dad (this time it's Bernardo and not Giovanni, no one will ever name him his Da Porto name and Bandello name, Antonio, except Lope de Vega, I see how it is) which is exploited only once, during Escalus's art contest and then never again.... like why ? Why set up something you won't pursue ? What about this whole convo where Bernardo rallies his brother against his own daughter ? This makes even less sense with Rosaline eventually becomes the matriarch of the Capulet house (I promise you we will get to that) because she managed to get this role with seemingly no effort ? Like they didn't even tried to pin on her the responsability for the previous matriarch's death in order to prevent her from getting the title ?... o-ok...

Then we have this plan with Friar Lawrence... ok so quickly Lawrence is made into a big bad priest who works with Romeo because no one escaped anything... basically Friar helps Romeo in his plan to become the ruler of Verona instead of Escalus however it's made clear that the Friar had his own plans and seemed to view Romeo has a pawn for his own objectives as he tried to use Mino and his relationship with Rosaline against Romeo... problem is that he gets arrested and betrayed by Romeo before this even goes further... I wish I was joking

Literaly. every. Single. Minor antagonist or ally to Romeo is sideline so that he can be the main big bad meaning we are left with at least 3 unfinished side plot that had been previously introduced, just nothing more about them...

That's not the only time tho, see when Romeo and Juliet reveals to the grand public they are still alive and make their story about being poor unfortunate lovers whose love got threaten by jealous politicians greed and jealous people (the worst part is that it's technically not false) and guess how the webtoon frames this

As we can see clearly the jealous one are supposed to be Paris and Rosaline, the love rivals of Romeo and Juliet respectively, so it might make it seem like the webtoon is gonna develop on this to make our new couple seem like responsible for what happened to Romeo and Juliet and -- No... No, no no.... it only hints at that with having some people gossip that Rosaline might have something to do with it just because she is dancing with Paris... nothing substential even though later on the webtoon involves Romeo and Rosaline dancing so perfectly that their past as lover seemed obvious to anyone

So it just uses it to make people seem petty and win pity points for Rosaline and not to create actual tension

Shakespeare would have screamed at this because he was the king of introducing his side plot and Romeo and Juliet is a good example of that in how he set every elements for his tragedy to make sense (one of them being introducing the wedding with Paris much earlier than the traditional version which usually brings this point only after Romeo was exiled and Juliet heartbroken - for context in Da Porto/Bandello/Brooke's version Juliet's sadness is taken by her mom as depression cause she isn't married yet unlike all her others friends so she and her husband go find one for Juliet.... yes I know it's dumb, so we can all thank Shakespeare for turning into Paris wanting to marry Juliet and Lord Capulet being initially reluctant due to her age and ultimately agreeing to it for the big climax moment)

Also gotta love how the webtoon strayed so much from it's intial premise. Basically, it was supposed to be about the struggles of Rosaline as a single mother with her child while we were meant to hate Romeo and Juliet for causing her pain and all... but that completely went downhills, we ended up being more focused on Rosaline acting as a political woman near Escalus and Paris with Romeo being bad for several others reason among which his desire to become king of Verona... yes, you heard that right KING. Not prince, but KING. And yes before you ask Escalus was a prince in the webtoon before Romeo overthrew him and became king....king of Verona you can't make this up... (this remind me of Romeo vs Juliet's weird thing with Verona having a grand duke instead of a prince like... searching the history of Italy before the 19th century unification isn't that hard)

So normally I don't take issue with something seemingly more slice of life going into a darker turn but the problem is that it makes Mino completely useless and he ends up being used for cheap drama instead... like i kid you not we don't even know why Romeo would have any use of this kid because his goal is to be king and he is kind, maybe he wants him to be his heir but he could have just made a child with Juliet whom at some point as to pretend being pregnant because of him and even made me think that maybe he would try to kidnapp Mino to claim him as his and Juliet's child (no it didn't happened) but that doesn't work either because Rosaline makes his plan foil by admitting he is the father of Mino and telling of her story to a whole crowd (and Romeo let her do this mind you, even thought it can destroy his reputation) and it goes nowhere... actually no it does goes somewhere but it's so stupid I wanna band my head against a wall whenever I remember this...

Point being that Mino doesn't work for the story anymore yet the webtoon try to shoehorn him non stop in a plot that no longer revolves around what it was supposed to and thus it doesn't work, it just feels like the writers remembered what was the initial premise and didn't wanted to make it sound like it strayed as much as it actually did

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Speaking off, this might sound picky but Juliette, and above all Paris not noticing sooner that Mino looks identical to Romeo makes it even less believable, seriously....

And the characters....oh the characters

1- Rosaline

She is our Mc, and while seemingly interesing in concept she is incredibly boring

She is just your average webtoon heroine who is perfect in every way, she is supposed to be hated by everyone because she had a child out of wedlock but putting aside the gag of Mino being described as so cute he easily wins the heart of the ladies gossiping Rosaline, she is also portrayed as succeding in everything with little to no effort.

I usually don't like calling characters Mary sue especially when the webtoon clearly struggles to make her struggles but there is limits

For instance, when she has to participate to represent the Capulet along with her father and uncle at Escalus's art contest, she decides to ask help from Paris because he is the most renown painter (despite the fact she somehow didn't recognized him at Escalus's birthday party) but Paris gives her an impossible task in hope she will back off, she doesn't because this is supposed to show how determinated she is, she gets injuried, faint, Paris takes her in they discuss, Paris remarks that while she did get one of what he asked, she failed to provide the rest, he argues that he can't rely one some nobody unable to use her connections to her advantage... and she replies that he send her to do an errand that none could fufill anyway and that given what she accomplished he could acknowledge her with Paris arguing he is doing this for her good, she should give up, she says she won't and eventually Paris just accepts

Now that might make it seems like she failed but no because the point wasn't to get the ingredients, it was to convince Paris to join her when he clearly didn't wanted to, and in that aspects she clearly succeded despite not fufilling his tasks even tho... PARIS HAD A POINT HERE !!

It could have been a good occasion for self reflection on Rosaline's part, she is literaly said at the begining to have no allies because she is invisible in her own family, that is why Romeo approached her and that is why she wants to fight back now and teach that to her son. And that being established, this means that she indeed has 0 political input, in fact her taking part in the contest is literaly meant to help her have the bare minimum of attention from her family, her first steps, this SHOULD have been used as an opportunity for her to reflect about all the way she has to go and how she believed that she could rely on her strengh alone when in reality she is gonna need to play the dirty game of politics but no, no, Rosaline ends up having the last word by making Paris looks like an hypocrite for sending her on a quest she couldn't fufill anyway

So instead of acknoweldging that what she does is go "but you send me on a fool's errand" which makes everything fundamentally void because this just gives her an easy win... whether Rosaline managed to gather the material or not is ultimately useless when she can just show how stubborn she is by insisting and boom, Paris is in her pocket

Like really wow... and obviously this means Rosaline's ascension is incredibly easy, she doesn't have to work to get more recognition from her family and the whole of Verona, gaining noble trust etc. Nope, would have been more interesting but nope.

Also this motif of "Rosie lost but in reality she wins" is gonna happen again

Escalus is hosting a art constest to please the nobles, and Rosaline participates in hope of gaining her grandma's favor, her grandma the Matriach of the Capulet house (yes this is going where you think it will) but her dad and uncle are at a point where they are presented as rival to her, and she can't present the painting Paris had been working on because someone sabotaged it... you know ? To make sure that we understand that in normal times people who aren't named Rosaline don't stand a chance because she can't have genuine rivalry with anyone

So she improvise and makes Paris sketch portraits of Escalus and destribute them to the commoner which is meant to show that Rosaline is very clever because she isn't relying on just presenting something to show her power and wealth but because she care about the people, because we had seen her worried about the security of the town unlike the others nobles who are all selfish entitles brat, because she even tell Paris she apologized for having treated his art like just something to win a contest when it deserves more respect, because of stuff like that....

I get what the webtoon is trying to do but it forgets that Rosaline was originally going to present something like any of the others nobles and that at no point we have a Ann Nakahara moment where she goes "wait I have an idea" getting her epiphany from looking at the people

Because when Ann Nakahara does it for her own manga (and God knows she loves this type of plot) she has her heroines comes to a realization throught X or Y element she ends up noticing, often trapped in her own throughts for example, Kirarin realizes that she is doing her marketing wrong because she heard people talk about their personal tastes and tried to come with an idea to solve this issue (yes this very old manga did a better job with this plot than the webtoon) but NOTHING, NOTHING in this episode could allow her to have such an idea.... which mainly comes from the fact that technically it was Paris's idea so... like how does any of this makes her special ? This isn't something she came up with herself because she had a realization moment, no, it just happens for the sake of our FL seeming special and nothing else

And thus, despite losing the contest, she still wins Escalus heart and thus her granny's approval... I swear to God, and not even an episode later we see a fully naked bathing Escalus offering her to marry him while naked..... now to be fair, he wasn't serious... because Rosaline's reaction was to be like "do you think I am so easy"

And this type of reaction is especially annoying when it's with Tybalt and Romeo... with Tybalt he is clearly meant to be some type of double agent so whenever he and Rosie have a verbal joust of some sorts the real reason why Rosie is winning.... is because Tybalt is on her side and that's just a way to show how strong willed she is by having her talk about it out loud while Tybalt congratulate her for being so strong willed and telling her to stay that way...

As for Romeo, whenver this happens it just feels like some petty girl roasting her ex "hmph I am so much better than you" type of stick

Worst part is that despite trying to push this idea of girlboss strong independant Rosaline, she still need men to defend her and by men i mean Tybalt, Escalus and most of the time Paris because love interest

As a matter of fact this begin very quickly with Paris going from telling her that bringing Mino in this party is exposing him to danger when he is so young to defend the kid and her mother when he accidentally bumps into a rude nobleman

I swear, Rosaline is this type of Mary Sue who has eveyr characteristics but because the author made sure everyone hated her for no reasons, they are all so cartoonishly evil towards her it's diffcult to believe any of them to be humans made of layers, they are just cartoon board meant to make us root for Rosie by using our pity and angers points... in short, cheap

What makes it worse is that the webtoon does try to make Rosaline struggles and give her vulnerable moments but these moments don't really make sense because we are given a Rosie that is constantly in the right (Someone is telling me that I might put my son in danger ? How dare they think of me as a bad mother ! They are telling me that I have no power ? How dare they when they literaly send me on a fool's erand) and that when she does self reflect it's not about any of these, it's a simple "Am I doing enough ?" to give the impression she does self reflect and has doubts.

Other example which is honestly the funniest bit of all times is how the webtoon describes her a having being invisble, meek, timid, easy to manipulate... all that

Meanwhile Episode 47 :

They said " SCREW THAT" and gave us a flashback where Romeo remembers about her and I kid you not that's how he describes her

This is a joke... we are told that in the story she behaved differently from the main webtoon only to have this flashback where she behaves EXACTLY LIKE HOW SHE DOES IN THE WHOLE COMIC WHAT ON EARTH ?! So if i understand she is supposed to easily fall for his words but at the same time acts like she can't be fooled, she is both a niave timid meek woman and someone with a tongue and wits as sharp as a dagger despite Romeo remarking on her changing - CONSISENCY ??? WHAT IS CONSISTENCY ???

They can't even respect the own flaws they gave her this is not possible, this is so gigantic and we are supposed to get along when the story is contradicting itself non stop to make Rosaline looks good... the problem is that it does the opposite of course because it just makes her flat and everything

And not I am not gonna comment on this flashback contradicting the begining of the story because it was clearly meant to just be a wink at the famous balcony scene but with Rosaline instead...

And yes I know she is shown to be trembling in front of Romeo and Juliet but here is the thing, the thing is that at some point she looks at Paris and think to herself "unlike me he didn't overcame his past" but she clearly didn't move on either and does the webtoon uses this as an opportunity to show Rosaline realize in reality she is still stuck in the pas-no, of course not, everything unfolds and despite trembling and need to support herself she still tries to resist because she has to be strong no matter what...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can't....oh wait, right there is more

So I mentionned the existence of a Matriarch of the Capulet's family who is supposed to be the grandmother of Rosaline, Juliet and Tybalt. Yes she doesn't exist in the play, yes she exists solely for Rosaline to end up being the Matriarch herself because girlboss. To the webtoon's credits at least it wasn't as predictable as I thought but still bad : basically Romeo manipulates Juliet to have the Martriach dead because... hum... ahh anyway she dies, she tells Rosaline she wants her to become the new Matriarch and of course this happens...

This is the finale of season 1, Romeo is supposed to have won but because this dunce decided to make a deal with Rosaline, literaly everyone survives and thus she lost nothing... except her grandmother. But this is mainly an excuse for her and Paris relationship to have an obstacle in it. Once she is in this position, she can easily plot behind Romeo's back because again, the idiot didn't killed her allies, heck, she even manages to manipulate Benvolio, who is in Romeo's camp, by exploiting the fact he is starting to fall for Juliet (more on that later)

So yeah basically a perfect Mary sue...

2-Paris

Paris doesn't fare much better, he is the most basic a love interest can get. At first he is introduced as the typical broody man who tries to protect Rosaline by acting cold and all that... it's how he is in the first couples of chapter which are essentially dedicated to slow pace action in the time Romeo and Juliet reveals themselves and Romeo just goes on full evil, as times goes on he drops the facade to basically becomes more and more obvious about his feelings for Rosaline including in a fanservice scene where her reaction made me go "you are a mother... you literaly had a child with someone... why are you reacting like this when you are more experienced than him"

So basically he comes off as protective very early and thus unoriginal, he is portrayed as the perfect man like every single webtoon male leads... actually that does give him one common point with his Shakespearian counterpart in that they are both very shallow just in different ways and it wasn't intentended because Paris is supposed to be caring, having trouble expressing his feelings and haunted by his failing of saving Juliet to the point he lost interest in painting

And I promise you that if you think it sound interesting it's only because it SOUND interesting, the webtoon doesn't do anything interesting with it, worse, this flasback of Juliet and Paris's relationship was meant to show how tormented and deep and complex he is... when in reality it only soldified my opinion Juliet was going to be the only good character in this webtoon... and no joke, my friend throught the same and when I told him that this was in reality meant to show that Paris is a deep character, his jaw dropped

It is that bad. Now as to why the writers choose to pair Rosaline with Paris, I think that's because of their very obvious roles as foils for the main couple which is still more to them than Rosavolio (Rosaline and Benvolio being such a popular ship will never not weird me out)

3- Escalus

Also very unoriginal, he is basically your typical "ha ha you are interesting" king with weird hobbies like fishing naked and kinda arrogant and hedonistic and all that

Rosaline catches his eyes because she isn't like others girls and is pretty much a major character whose dealing with noble shenaningans and has something against the Friar because we will see later and he loses his throne because Romeo made a coup and just lives desisted while Rosaline is plotting to make him come back to the throne... and I have nothing more to say, again, every character is just a blanket archetype played straight with nothing more to them

4- Tybalt, Mercutio and Benvolio

Yes I am putting all of them together for a specific reason we will see later

So Benvolio... basically a tsundere, he is portrayed as one of Romeo's man (and cousin) who helps him and is more calm than Mercutio but when Juliet breaks up with Romeo it's Benvolio who comes to find her and he starts to fall in love with her because... well Benvolio is doomed to be a replacement for his cousin and nothing more, needless to say I sighed seeing this

As for Mercutio and Tybalt, they basically switched personality

Tybalt is portrayed as an ADOPTIVE cousin of Juliet and Rosaline (and look, it was also dumb when Goodbye my Juliet did it ok, literaly what is the reason) and a trickster archetype where he acts like a double agent for the matriarch because he wants to make amends for the fact he let Romeo into the Capulet house hold do as he pleased with Rosaline and then Juliet... yeah so basically he acts shady and all that and pretends to work with Romeo and co to then reports to the Matriarch

Ok so this might seem like a tangent but there is this manga called Bloody cross that I read and find myself finishing just for the sake of finishing it because it was overdoing the "double agent" trope to the point I couldn't find myself invested with the characters or their relationship

Tybalt follows the same logic where he acts shady and constantly does 180 to make us wonder what's his deal but it's so poorely done that it just makes you feel lose interest in him... I saw people calling him deep and complex like Shakespaeare's Tybalt and please, please, I beg of you to raise your standards... having your characters act like this isn't deep or complex it's just lazy try to make them look complex

As for Mercutio, to take my friend's words, he just act like a mafioso, he is violent, rash, extreme and described as Romeo's lap-dog to make him a fuel to the Prince of cat (I swear none of these retelling understand the nickname and it shows)

I am also gonna mention how Friar Lawrence is also turned into a villain and the nurse is reduced to a background characetr for Juliet's traumatic backstory we still didn't go more info about

These characters have so little flesh on their bone that I have nothing else to say

4 - Romeo

Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore are you this evil and stupid Romeo ?

Not gonna waste any more time on this, Romeo is just Sovieshu from Remarried empress but hotter.

Like really, every man in this webtoon's personality can be summed up to evil, or hot and Romeo is meant to be both

He is supposed to be a calculating, clever, ruthless individual but he really isn't

Ok so you remember how he said that he had a lot of fun with Rosaline and wanted to use her because he thought she was uselful, do you wanna know why he went for Juliet instead ?

... yup, he went for her because he had too much fun for Rosaline, so he had to settle for the least good options....

See how stupid he is ? The supposedly seductive guy couldn't simply use his sweet words to put Rosaline against her family because else he wouldn't be the villain, no, instead he has to break her heart by choosing his cousin whom, by his own admission, is less useful to him than Rosaline was

Not only does this read as yet another attempt to glaze Rosaline while putting down another female character because god forbid that the antagonist who dumped her for her doesn't believe Juliet to be superior to Rosaline, no, even then he has to think of Rosaline as the best thing and thus he appears stupid

This doesn't go any better as we see him being an arrogant self centered jerk whose so callous that he doesn't even act with some guile... as seen per how he freely goes to the Capulet estate to woo the ladies and even admits to Tybalt to have had a blast which made the man's jaw dropped... basically he is cartoonisly evil with no nuance, nothing, nothing

And again, I cannot stress how stupid he is. He does manage to get the throne as he wanted but he makes a deal with Rosaline and indeed... accepts to spare the people who mattered to her... like really... even the original prince and no, it's not even because he is just portrayed as someone who believes ends justify the means with some limits, no, he is EVIL, it's just that like this it gives the story an excuse to spare everyone else so that Rosaline doesn't lose anyone else because I assure you that despite having lost her grandmother and Romeo gaining a throne, her situation in season 2 doesn't feel different at all, nor does she no character developpement in this skull of hers

And yet, yet we have the most stupid moments ever linked to his relationship with Rosaline because when she uses the same tricks of seduction he is supposed to have used on many ladies, he reacts by being flustered

And this culminates by Rosaline making whatever he planned to do with Mino fail by publicaly admitting he was the dad but they wouldn't get married by him exclaiming... he loves her...

(you and I we want to punch him for completely different reasons)

as for his relationship with Juliet, well he is supposed to be manipulating her, given she is wearing the same clothing on the masquerade as the one she wears when they are shown in bed I am assuming he managed to seduce her in one night and basically she is his puppet, except it's less because he is a good manipulator and more because of Juliet's situationship but ... his plan makes no sense ?

He accepted to fake his death for her just... so he could solidify his grasp on her ??? Why did he do it other than Juliet begging him for it when what he wants is becoming king of Verona (because the writers believe that being king in Italy at this time was possible idk) like what kind of sense does it make to have a random break of 3 years in his becoming king plan and just getting back at it because Juliet is fine with his plan now I--my --my head

Ahh also it seems that he didn't married Juliet in this timeline despite the two of them having being in a relationship for 3 years because of several dialogues implying as such

He also doesn't really try to mask the fact he believes Juliet to not be that good because he is terrible at manipulation, much like how when he actively pretends to not have anything to do with Mino when it's obvious as day it's kid, you'd think for a manipulator he would be better at lying but no

Just talking about this version of Romeo makes me angry but wait till I tell we compare everyonee to their counterpart

Rosaline is originally a character in absententia in Shakespeare's play, Romeo is in love with her before he meets with Juliet and all mopey over the fact she rejected him. Yup, you have heard me, this Rosaline rejected Romeo, as a matter of fact, she rejected love in general. Few is known about her, she is described as beautiful, intelligent (wise), like Diane (so a fierce chaste beauty). Rosaline matters less as a character and more a foil for Romeo's love for Juliet

So first departure, Rosaline falling very easily for Romeo instead of rejecting him and love in general and can I say it ? Juliet in the play was way more clever because she outright told Romeo that she didn't wanted to have anything to do with him if he just wanted to have fun and leave, either he marries her before they do anything, either he can leave... Rosaline didn't do that despite the fact that the narrative decide to contradict itself about her meek personality that would have justified her falling so easily

Moreovern this Romeo seemed more infatuated with Rosaline than Juliet whom he belittles whenever she isn't there but still want to keep somehow and believes she is gonna come back to him and- ok stop this isn't what happened in the play... like at all

Ok so in Da Porto's version, Romeo got rejected by a lady he courted, got sad and his friends forced him to go to parties to find new love, despite going to these parties he can't find any other ladies no matter how beautiful they are until he meets Juliet at the bal hosted by the Capulets. Bandello took this and decided to go further by presenting Romeo has having being in love for Rosaline for 2 years and trying to court her without success, and being so love sick he wanted to leave the country so he could forget about her, his friends dissuade him from doing this and insist he stays, they will go with him on parties to help him find someone else, that doesn't work until they go the Capulet party and he meets Juliet. Brooke makes some changes by making Romeus's infatuation shorter for a few month, but that aside he keeps the lovesickness, the Romeo trying to find a new love by going to parties and still not managing to heal his broken heart until he sees Juliet.

Shakespeare sticks closer to the Brooke version in how he handles Romeo's infatuation but because he cannot afford to make the play's plot 9 month long (unlike Brooke) it seems that his infatuation was a lot less serious which, compared to the love he shows Juliet is meant to showcase character growth on his part for realizing what it feels to be truly in love and understanding that he wasn't really in love with Rosaline

The webtoon doesn't do that, it plays both relationship as being a fake out and his love for Rosaline feels more like an obsession (and is so stupid it's literaly because everyone has to fall in love with her because love triangle guhhu)

Having Rosaline falls for Romeo and even have a kid with him completely break the premise of the play because every version necessitated Romeo to go to the party to heal a heartbreak to make his meeting with Juliet seems like the work of chance which enhances the fatality : he went to many parties, and yet it's in that specific party that he found the love of his life who oh so happen to be the daughter of the rival family. The fact it's even shorter with Shakespeare enhance the fatality, it's really happening by chance but no in reality it's the work of destiny, all that.

The worst part is that the webtoon tries to use the idea of destiny and fatality, nomely in Paris and Juliet's relationship but that doesn't work...

So yeah Rosaline is both defined but still blank enough to leave liberties to writers and it seems that the webtoons tries to make her seems similar to her Shakespearian counterpart without fleshing her out (by the way, Rosie being a cousin to Juliet is purely shakesperian, in the previous version she is just some woman rejecting Romeo, sometimes not even given the dignity of a name)

Many insist that it would be good for her to have a voice in a story in which she has no horse in, like Rosaline rejecting not just Romeo but love as whole means she has nothing to do in a love story, and people constantly trying to shoehorn her into it are missing a lot, especially by having Romeo being portrayed as a play boy

Rosaline's lack of presence is meant to enhance her role as a Petrachan muse, I need to get to Romeo to talk more about it, but her lack of presence and the ficklness of Romeo's love for her all makes perfect sense so when you break this premise you really need to justify it and like many adaptations, the webtoon fail

Now regarding others characters such as Escalus... this guy had like a total of 3 apparations in the play why is he such an important character in the play is beyond me, but his characterization from a severe austere ruler incapable of handling the feud (seriously it's only at the begining of the play he had enough and banned duel, Mercutio and Paris death are his punishement as well fight me on this) into an archetype of character who is in hight position in webtoons doing weird stuff like fishin naked, hedonistic etc. I think I already mentionned this but it's even funnier when you know he wasn't being portrayed like this in any version which makes sense Escalus is just the anglicized name of Bartholomeo della Scala who wasn't exactly a light hearted person

Friar Lawrence went full evil here and it's because the webtoon had to keep his connection with Romeo while making Romeo evil so he became a minor villain because of Romeo. In all versions Friar Lawrence was Juliet's confessor and a friend of Romeo, hence his role as a supporter of the couple. In the play tho, he is only Romeo's confessor, Juliet doesn't trust him as much as seen per her overthinking, but he still supports them thinking their marriage might stop the feud. His reason to help Romeo and Juliet are always given but not here, no no, we don't know why he helps Romeo when he clearly has his own goal, we don't know how they met, what where their relationship, nothing

Also instead of being a simple monk loved by many he became an evil hight priest nicknamed devil blood by Escalus because evuuuullll...

As for the Nurse, she was a pretty important character. It was Bandello who came up with her and in all versions, she also supports the lover's mainly because of Juliet. Given how Juliet cannot really move as she pleases due to her status of daughter, she has to rely on the Nurse. In the play, she is mostly comic relief and is a grotesque character in the original sense, she also serves as the mother figure Juliet doesn't have (because Lady Capulet isn't exactly very supportive of her daughter) but she is biased in Paris favor rather than Romeo and eventually, this ends up cutting her from Juliet in the moment Juliet needs her most.

The webtoons does something interesting because while they cut her off (yeah a pretty important characetr got cut off and became a backstory character... help me) this helps making this Juliet into a more interesting character than the whole vast of this webtoon combined : while she eats, Juliet has a PTSD moment where she recalls her nurse being worried over the fact she doesn't eat enough and she is fired because Juliet's parents deemed her to be a bad infleunce and to spoil her, so we have implications of the Capulet being abusive and of the nurse to have been one of the few people caring for Juliet putting her in an environement where she received little love (and yes this is interesting) but so far, the webtoon didn't go further with that

Ok so now Benvolio... Benvolio is, along with Romeo the only Montague that has real relevance. I mean Lord Montague has as much screentime as Escalus while Lady Montague has a total of like 2 lines and dies of grief that her son was banished and she won't see him ever again.

Benvolio is presented as being Romeo's friend who, upon hearing about the Rosaline thing, weeps to see him in this state and offer to help him recover, notably encouraging him to go to Capulet's party. Mercutio describes him as easy to poke but in reality, that's not the case. Benvolio is shown on his first appearance to try to stop the servants from fighting and offer a prime contrast to Tybalt who actually tries to add fuel on the fire and even attacks him. He goes along with Mercutio's jokes but he isn't really this passive character who is ready to supports more feud so him eventually turning away from Romeo makes sorta sense in that respect but again, it's just to make him a replacement for Romeo and he doesn't have much personality... like at all

Now it time to explain what I mean by Mercutio and Tybalt switched personality huh ?

Trickster Tybalt is a lie you tell yourself. In every version including Shakespeare, Tybalt is a violent and arrogant man who revels in fighting and hates the Montague more than hell. His italian name, Tebaldo, apparently means audacious, but Shakespeare plays a pun to link it to the name of Tibert, king of cats from Reynard le fox. This nicknames is supposed to indicated Tybalt's violence in an humourous way with some commenting that it would also be a reference to an italian profanity, meaning "prince of the prick"... obviously, from Mercutio's mouth this nickname makes sense but the webtoon makes it seems like it's a nickname Tybalt actually claims by having characters call him that way. According to Lady Capulet, he is the son of her brother so not an adopted kid and while the webtoon as him playing on both side, Tybalth is way too implusive and rash to go along, we are talking about someone who constantly picks fights with the Montague and even tried to attack a guest during the party, going against hospitality customs (leading to the notorious you are a saucy boy line). While the webtoon has Tybalt poke fun of the loyalist for being like a stock of beasts, play Tybalt IS a loyalist, a fierce loyalist of the Capulet side. The play counterbalance his violence by also showcasing that his obsession for duel is linked to an ideal of heroism perputuated by the feud culture he lives in which he fully embrace and where boys become men by fighting for their factions, but the comic doesn't do anything with that giving him a completely different personality, transfering this one to Mercutio who has 0 nuance in there.

And yes this Tybalt should have been Mercutio because Mercutio was the closest character to work as a trickster personality wise. And to show what I mean about execution being the end and all of everything.

In the previous versions, Mercutio is a minor character. He is one of Juliet's courter, a overpowering man who lacks sense of respect, a "audacious among maidens as a lion among lambs” (so a womanizer) whose cold hands makes Juliet appreciate Romeo's warms hands in contrast. His participation stops as a minor romantic rival of Romeo. Shakespeare on the other hands develop him into a fully fleshed out character. Relative of Escalus and best friend of Romeo and Benvolio, he is a free spirited youth that plays comic relief with a rather dark and cynical sense of humour. His grotesque foils with Romeo's sublime and he is pretty sexist when you look at his cues, that are very on the nose when it comes to the innuendos. He very often mocks Romeo's current state viewing it as a lack of virilty, his vision of love is pretty cynical and pragmatic, he does care about his friend tho given how he rejoice to see Romeo have returned to his usual self. That being said, the portrayal of Mercutio has a being a loyalist member of the house doesn't make sense because Mercutio is a neutral force, the reasons he battle Tybalt is more linked to his character being quick to provoke and the fact that like Tybalt he also upholds the feud culture as the idea that makes a man a man. That's why he wished to see Romeo defeat Tybalt, he views it as a coming of age and he gets mad when Romeo refuses to fight his new in law so he does it himself after calling him a coward.

I guess the webtoon sorta respects the rivalry between Tybalt and Mercutio but it misses that Tybalt is mean to foil the whole trio, not just one of them, and instead he is being made into a double agent that joins said trio that isn't the trio of young friends anymore

See the mess or ????

Now let's talk about Paris (booo tomato tomato boooo) Yes I know

As I mentionned the only common point Paris has with Shakespeare's Paris is that he is shallow but not in the good sense because while Go away Romeo's Paris isn't supposed to be shallow but ends up feeling that way because he stole all of Romeo's qualities with none of his flaws, Paris is purposefully meant to feel shallow.

In all previous versions, he is a guy that Juliet's parents want her to marry because they thought her sadness over losing Romeo was due to doing a depression that she wasn't married unlike others girls her age. It's Brooke who named him Paris (additionally, he described Juliet as being so pretty that Paris of Troy would have kidnapped her which speaks enough about how this man is supposed to feel). He wants to marry an already married woman, like Paris of Troy, and this didn't ended well in the Illiad. Thanks to Shakespeare solving this stupid plot by introducing it earlier, Paris also has a more proeminent character and thus serves as a foil to Romeo, notably in how they treat Juliet;

Like Paris of Troy he is beautiful, but we are never told anything anymore about him than his beauty. The Nurse calls him a "man of wax" to comment on his beauty, however this metaphor implies he is as shallow as a wax figure. Lady Capulet is using Petrachan sonnets to describe him, however these sonnets implies an exageration so an innacurate representation of reality. Combined with the fact that they only focus on selling his beauty, it's very obvious Paris doesn't have anything else to sell hence why Juliet isn't exactly convinced by her mother and nurse (she does agree to give him a chance but it's more to please her parents than anything else). If we compare it to how the Nurse describes Romeo, she claims Juliet doesn't have good standards to choose her man, barely talks about his physical beauty (she does it in "well I mean sure he is hotter than most man but really ? That guy ?") and even comments he isn't the flower of courtesy (possibly implying that Paris is given how he was called the flower of Verona) but she assures Romeo is as gentle as lamb. So here the main selling quality of Romeo isn't his beauty (which is mainly something Juliet praises him for) but rather his gentleness and that's a quality that made him being respected by Lord Capulet himself (calling him a well governed youth with a good reputation despite being his enemy !!)

Paris's shallowness is also shown through how he intereacts with Juliet... they have only ONE dialogue, one, their first proper conversation is when Juliet goes to seek for Friar Lawrence's help and Paris happens to be there. Juliet usually uses monosyllabes to talk with Romeo and uses "thou" to refer to him = formal language. Meanwhile with Paris, she uses formal language and refers to him using "you". For the record, Romeo didn't ask for the Capulet's permission but rather Juliet's permission to court her, this is something also to be found in Lope de Vega's comedy where he meets her in less iconic balcony scene and begs her to give him permission to court her. And Romeo didn't had to rely on anythign than his own charms to win Juliet's hearts (and this worked). Paris on the other hand made no effort to win her heart despite being given by the Capulet permission to woo her as seen per how the play never shows him properly trying to woo her. Yet, when he meets her he immediately starts to call her his wife, basically, having obtain the yes from the dad was all it took for him to just assume Juliet would love him. Despite the fact that Juliet is being very cold to him and sending him hints, he doesn't catch any.

This is very different from how Paris and Juliet intereact in the webtoon where Paris tries to understand her sensing something is off with this young woman only to feel like he failed her when she died and caring... about her feelings... like he tells her if she doesn't want to go through she can just tell him

That is completely different from Mr "Younger than she are happy mother made. Thy face is mine and thou slandered it". I can't stress it enough he told her that in their first proper convo, using casual language and objectifiying her. Also, the images of the flowers that he uses to describe her are classical images yet Romeo never called Juliet a flower which contributes to this foiling in how they treat Juliet even as a poetic subject. We can also contrast their reaction to their death.

Paris is affliected by her death, he goes to mourn her and when he dies killed by Romeo, he begs to be placed near Juliet so her does care about her but the problem is that Paris vanity and the way he objetifies Juliet goes in the way of his love and just highlight how you can love someone and still treat them badly. That being said it doesn't compare to Romeo deciding his reason to live died and returning to Verona only to see her one last time before he takes his own life. And if we look at Hamlet for a moment, Laertes, despite being Ophelia's brother, is still so afflicted by her death he ends up jumping on his sister grave to be burried with her and his affection for his sister is meant to foil Hamlet's love as seen per how the prince openly claims his love to be superior to 40's times of Laertes deep love for his sister. Meanwhile Paris, whose supposed to love Juliet as one who wants to take her as his wife to the point he didn't even wanted to wait for her to be older so she wouldn't be an age where she would be in danger (like Capulet literaly has a a whole discourse about unfortunate young girl married to early) would also feel like live is meaningless and say something about wanting to die (I stress it before he eventually dies at Romeo's hands) but no ? He doesnt ? And even in the webtoon Paris's feelings for Juliet feels less like love and just meeting someone you wanna help so like... paris has the right to mistake his feelings for Juliet for love but heaven forbid young teenager Romeo mistakes his infatuation for Rosaline for love and then moves on...

speaking off...

Look I have said it and said over and over, but antagonistic Romeo can be interesting but the problem is that Romeo Montague doesn't work as an antagonist, he was never written to be one.

When Shakespeare write his hero, he has to deal with material showcasing Romeo as a beautiful virtuous young man of Verona (20 in Bandello's version, 16 in Brooke) whose rejection lead to a state of melancholia until he fell for Juliet Capulet. In these version, Romeo is still pretty flat due to the fact this tale is mainly archetypal but Shakespeare develops him into a fully flesh out character, a complex and layered one at that. He keeps Romeo's reputation as being virtuous and sociable, well respected around Verona. He lessen the focus on his appearance by character outside of Juliet, Mercutio and Benvolio focus on mentioning how Romeo is habitually (when he isn't crying under sycomore trees, I see what you did Shakespeare) and the nurse arguing that while he does have beauty, that's not what she consider his prime assets, praising his gentleness instead. Shakespeare might have made his love for Rosaline a lot less intense than previous versions, but this allows him to introduce what previous Romeo's were lacking : flaws and the complexity they create within his character, notably the fact that Romeo can let himself driven by emotions especially when he is pushed emotionally and lacks maturity and experience about love.

His love for Rosaline, as I have mentionned is often compared to be a love of youth and nothing more, a step that helped him grow as a person and prepare himself for the relationship with Juliet. Scholars have noticed that Romeo uses Petrachan sonnets to describe both Rosaline and later Juliet, however there is a huge change in quality. The attempts at sonnets by Romeo are poor, forced, weak, amateurish, reflecting a lack of experience. When he talks about Juliet tho, his skills have improved a lot. This lead to speculation about it being potentially a reflection of Shakespeare's own skills, arguing that Shakespeare wrote the sonnets for Rosaline when he was less experienced as a poet but that when he talks about Juliet, he is more mature and skilled.

In short : either Romeo talking about Rosaline is reflecting a young inexpereinced Shakespeare as opposed to Romeo talking about Juliet meant to reflect a more experienced and mature Shakespeare, either Shakespeare is so talented at writing inexperienced character that it seems authentic enough to fool scholars.

Anyway, textually, this means that Romeo's love for Rosaline express through unexperienced way and thus reflecting a lack of maturity in this love as opposed to Juliet's. Moreover, Romeo uses Petrachan imagery that he doesn't use when talking about Juliet, notably the way he describes Rosaline being alike a goddess as opposed to Juliet (he never calls her a goddess, not once instead he calls her a saint and an angel, we could even argue that the more religious christian image for Juliet as opposed to pagan image for Rosaline is meant to further than his love is no longer blind idolatry). He also focuses a lot less on her and more about his feelings while is described as a sort of abstract being with a few key characteristics and mainly focusing on her beauty. Finally, by Shakespeare's time, Petrachan sonnets where considered to be out of fashion.

So all of this combined paints Romeo as a Petrachan poets who forgot the time he is supposed to live in, a walking anachronism of sorts which contributes to make his love sounds clumsy, like it's the first time he is dealing with these feelings and misattribute them to love when it's more of a crush.

Again, in all versions Romeo only loved 2 women : Rosaline and then Juliet, with these previous versions mentionning he had the occassions to meet many ladies yet he didn't fall for any of them until he meet Juliet. His love life starts with Rosaline and ends with Juliet. 2 people. This is enough to showcase he didn't experienced a lot of relationship, especially when his first love was unrequired, meaning he had only one relationship in his whole life. When you work with a character like that, it's becoming incresingly obvious that his lack of experience is what causes him to not understand his feelings, to the point he claims that it's only when meeting Juliet he actually felt what it truly feels to be in love. His dialogue with Friar Lawrence act 2 scene 3 also showcases this when he doesn't understand why the Friar is surprised that he moved on from Rosaline when he blamed him for loving her to which the friar answered "doting not loving" implying Romeo doesn't get the difference between the two.

This is the precise reason why Rosaline isn't given a proper character nor appearance, it's because she needs to stay a foggy abstract concept. As Scholars pointed, Rosaline feels like the perfect petrachan muse, Romeo is presented to be enamoured with the state he is of loving her when she is out of reach despite crying over the fact she wont love him back (more specifically won't sleep with him but hey). While the characters do feel pity for him it's hard to not look at this moment with a bit of cynical eye cause in my view this further highlight the fact that unlike Bandello and Brooke who mentionned the failed courtship, it's dubious whethere Romeo even tried to woo Rosaline in the first place. Some of the Friar lines seems to imply so, but Romeo himself doesn't really say anything about it and it just makes me think of Dante in Vita Nova describing him as being very in love with his childhood friend Beatrice but incapable of even saying 2 words to her... like he got sick because he was so happy she waved at him and is so moved to see her he trembles and faint and stuff like that...in short, he is so impressed by her he can barely talk to her and can only describe her as unreachable and all that while he himself hasn't made any real effort to seduce her, weeping on how he can't win her heart

In short a mocking image and frankly, as much as I dislike these types of readings, given Shakespeare wrote anti petrarchan sonnets I think this can be substantified. Basically, Rosaline represents the Petrachan muse but the poet must forget about her and instead embrace the mordern muse symbolized by Juliet from a meta pov, with possibly and even bigger dig with Romeo's love for Rosaline being mere desire that the lad is too young to be aware of, implying that the Petrachan poets cry for these women they worship when in reality it's barely an actual love since there was no intereaction.

Note that it's mainly my reading but this is important to undersand why Rosaline not being part of the story outside of being a character in absentia matters and why her rejection of Romeo with the possibility the dude didn't even try (like come on he is literaly forced to go to a ball help by her family by his friends, even when he says "meh ok but just to see her" he backs up a few scenes later) and this contrast to how he actually approaches Juliet and is even showing excitement at the prospect of talking to her (balcony scene, he see her say something and he wonder if he should talk to her, he then hear her confess her love and debates on whether or not to talk now and he eventually does the 3rd time)

Needless to say how vastly different everything is but the worst part is that I could have been ok with Romeo having a slightly different personality because this can makes different iterations interesting and unique but the webtoon makes him as deep as a piece of paper, a character whose level of complexity is soooo hight that his name itself would be worth a whole commentary and spuns a motif in the play itself

You can write a character so flat as this Romeo when the Romeo of the play is such a complex character and expect people to not be mad

Ok but you might think what about Juliet because I havent talked about her a lot

Well... mark my words, she is the only good character in this webtoon

She isn't faithful to her counterpart but that's still better than the rest of the cast and the webtoon does try to built on elements she shares with her play counterpart

In the play, Juliet is first portrayed as being passive and obedient, accepting to let Paris court her only to please her parents when she doesn't really care about marriage. The webtoons takes this further by making Juliet into the star of Verona where is she only loved for her social persona and what she can brings to people and not for whom she truly is. Much like in the play, we are shown that her dad cares about his daughter but his ambitions gets in the way. Lord and Lady Capulet do love their child but they wouldn't hesistate to sell her if it meant fufilling their ambitions (kinda like Polonius huh). While Lord Capulet is happy to see his daughter alive and moved to tears, he quickly shows how abusive he can be by reacting negatively to the her (fake) pregnancy, the implications of why Juliet's nurse was fired or the fact he tries to push her once more into a relationship with Paris.

In that sense, Juliet is a compelling character because she is pushed in a society determined to robb her of her agency and has to still pretend to be smiling to hide it all, this made her an easy prey for Romeo who took advtange of her desire of freedom and her lack of love for being who she is (saddely this Romeo is not convincing so this hurts her character a bit), she craves to find agency in their relationship only to be used even more and it takes her doing a lot of harms including the murder of her grandmother for which she feels intense guilt for her to break up with Fakemeo (her slap was more satisfying than Rosaline's mark my words) and ends up living a quiet life as a waitress far from him, plus she has har funny side and all that

So she is mainly build off Juliet's lack of agency which is present in the play, she has to marry whoever her parents choose rather than someone she choose for herself, has to ask persmission to get out and needs to rely on her nurse to intereact with Romeo as she can't do it herself. Juliet's relationship with Romeo in the play, however, isn't something where she craves to find agency because it's something that gaves her the agency she lacked. This article mainly covers this in greater detail but I don't really agree with everything in it, starting by the taming of Romeo being considered to start at the balcony.

In reality, I think it starts from the moment Romeo talks with her. Romeo is using metaphors to talk with her so he can assure of his feelings in a non threatening way (compares that to how Paris immediately starts assuming her feelings for him) but this modern form of courtship relies on the lady to respond to the metaphors. If she pretends to not understand, then the man is rejected but Juliet goes along and even expands on this metaphor. This means that Romeo willingly accepts to let Juliet be the one to lead the relationship, he subjects himself to her decision in that moment. This happens again when Juliet tells him "deny thy father and refuse thy name" and he answers that he will accept to be new baptized. He is fine with renoncing his name and everything it represents. This is where we assist to a scene where Juliet is essentially teaching Romeo how to court her as seen per how they intereact. In that scene, she is anxious and tells him that to keep his affection for her she would accept to play hard to get and so on but she wants honest vows, however when Romeo is about to swear upon the moon, she cuts him off because of 1) the image of the moon 2) the fact he was about to start a petrachan sonnet. She does that other time as well because this is a form that she distrust due to the dishonnesty within it coming from its exageration whereas she expects from Romeo a direct answer. Romeo on his part asks her what he should swear by implying that 1) he doesn't know because lack of experience his kicking again 2) he wants Juliet to tell him so he knows what to tell her to appease her. This didn't existed in their previous intereactions because he wasn't speaking in sonnets, rather the two of them were because their replies were forming together a perfect sonnets to show the harmony.

You see, unlike the previous writers, Shakespeare can't affort months of courtship so to make their love feel convincing he has to rely on shape and imagery. And this first convo that forms a sonnets also establishes how Romeo and Juliet are going to be expanding on each other's metaphor (relgious metaphors, bird imagery etc) and the motif of Romeo's name, it's also a clever usage of the hands (in Brooke's poem, it was about the warmth of Romeo's hand meant to convey his benevolent and loving nature, Shakespeare used it to spin a pun of the meaning of Romeo's name).

Again, Juliet being the lead of their relationship and setting the pace (she is the one who comes up with the marriage and Romeo depends on her consent for his courtship) is because Romeo is ok with it since he love her as seen per how he reuses the faulcon imagery to call Juliet his nyas when she compared herself to a faulconer and calling him a tassle gentle and later on when he tells her he'd gladly be her bird that she can keep near her. (in short Juliet could be telling Romeo "jump" and he'd ask "how hight")

Obviously the webtoon doesn't really follow that by making Romeo the lead and also making him a manipulator whereas in the play this relationship is where Juliet can enacts some agency and it's overall a balanced relationship, and that even tho Juliet is presented as physically above him so supposedely out of reach (the balcony scene)

Granted, for the sake of Romeo to work it had to be done but he didn't work in the webtoon so ... yeah

Moreover Romeo being unconvicing as a controlling partner isn't the only thing that harms her character, do we talk about this nonsense of matriarch ?

The reason why Romeo and Juliet works so well to paint both Romeo and Juliet as lacking agency is because it's a partriarcal world. Romeo's virility is constantly being belittled by other characters and even himself for the fact he doesn't behave in the same way as other men do by engaging with the feud and being more occupied with love life (as seen per Mercutio's remarks or when he blames himself for having let Juliet made him effeminate for refusing to fight Tybalt and even trying to bring peace), Mercutio and Tybalt can been seen through their adhesion to feud culture as being part of these youth pushed into toxic masculinty and don't get me started on these 2 weirdos of servants in scene 1 acte 1. The 2 families are entertaning a dangerous environement where many innocents are hurts and where young men are likely to die at any moment because they were encouraged to kill one another.

The webtoon doesn't really exploit well this feud and focus on amking Romeo the mastermind of everything so yeah, screw that

As for Juliet, while her love for Romeo made her fuels her determination and is what pushes her to refuse the wedding in front of her parents, it's not like she goes full girlboss either, what she does is beg and get on her knees in hope of mercy but gets none from her parents, not even her Nurse later on. This further shows how dependant she is because of how she has been raised, can only hope help from someone and when she loses her last ally she goes to Frair Lawrence rather than do anything by herself.

Now, tell me how much would it made sense in a word where the leader of the Capulet house is a WOMAN ?? because Matriarch implies only a woman can do the job, which goes against the idea of a partriarchal society !! this makes no sense !! What's worse is that Rosaline was actually striving to make her son accepted as an heir of the Capulet yet at no point did she ever shown interest in becoming a Matriarch like her granny, it just falls on her head after she dies... so even at presumaly feminist elements this webtoon fails huh ?

Anyway, I am still hpong Romeo's motivations will be reveleaed soon because he better need a good excuse to want to be king of Verona this is literaly the only reason I am still reading this I will not give up until we get an explanation for all of this

But I gotta ask, what is the point of using Romeo and Juliet ? again, the only interest was the premise but the rest is soooo vastly different from the play it could have been it's own original thing and no difference at all

Also here is what my friend had to say

[keefsteef]

May the universe forgive me, here is an outfit offering from my favourite boys.

No, the universe is suing you and your gang of intricately dressed hotties for pain and suffering, get your wallet ready 🥴.

But anyway ~

MR. SIMMONS is... is... as mad as it makes me to say it, not really doing anything wrong when we look at it from a coordination sense. Every element of his outfit ties into everyone else's outfit some type of way, so I can't get picky there.

But what I can pick at TOOTH AND NAIL is the fact he didn't take the opportunity to wear red boots??? Like. You went out of your way to wear a red shirt when literally no one else has a big mass of red going on, it wouldn't have gagged us if you gave us a red-boot moment, Gene 😒

Well it would've gagged us, but positively!

Also personally I think his cheetah wrist wrap should've also been zebra, or red. I feel like Eric is having the cheetah situation with Paul, and Gene just invited himself to the party.

MR. CARR isn't necessarily making me angry either. It's not because it's Eric and it's sinful to be visually angry with him, but it's literally because he's bodying the zebra print! It looks great on him in my opinion.

I see he's mostly synching with Paul with the cheetah... scraps or whatever that is, and the white gloves and shoes. The yellow wrist tie seems to be twinning with Bruce's ankle tie, so I'll leave that one alone. But I'll get rid of the red one.

Only thing I would fix is the belttttt I never usually like the belts that get put onto him, they always give me backpack-snap vibes lmaooo, or whatever those keychain lanyard snaps are.

I have an allegiance to square buckles, so I would've given him a cheetah printed square buckled belt to make up for that dangling cheetah scrap that I'm deciding I'd get rid of, otherwise...

I LIKE IT!

MR. STANLEY gratefully has an arm over his chest hair so it can't manipulate or seduce me in my time of notsupposedtobemanipulatedorseduced, and I'm glad because I really need all my strength right now.

I HATE THOSE PANTS WITH EVERY OUNCE OF FIBER IN ME BUT I HATE IT MORE THAT THEY DON'T NOT FIT THE AESTHETIC! like I want to change them but I can't, because they're harmonizing!

And I'm in love with the belttttt wow, it's very stylish and goes with his gloves. Now the shirt is not impressing me, I do feel like it would've been hot of it was red. I see red ties on his shoes, it would've contrasted well.

ALSO SINCE his hair seems to have a little red in it!

But yes me and those pants want to divorce but we can't, we'll stay in our conflicted marriage, they can stay.

MR. KULICK is somehow managing to give me nothing while giving me everything? Like in comparison to everyone else's outfit, it's not at all standing out, his stylist got lazy. But it WORKED.

I feel like his outfit is the center-er, it's not too crazy (That would be Eric and Paul), and it's not too mixed (Gene), it's in its own realm. I would look at him when I just needed a little monochrome break, I love a good monochrome moment don't get me WRONGGGGGG!

But then upon closer inspection the wrist wraps sort of contradict me a little, but I still stand on the fact it's a more reserved outfit and I don't mind that.

The only thing I would really change is that yellow shirt, he could've went shirtless, or with a deep deep V white shirt 😏 and then get rid of that red belt, Paul and Gene would already be doing enough red from what I've tweaked.

But it's actually not bad.

ALRIGHT THIS HAS BEEN our second kiss fashion show thanks thanks thanks, come back any time with their shenanigans ✨

[obeiii-mee]

Hey! I love your hc and I was wondering of i could get some hc of the boys s/o having dyed hair? It doesn't matter what color it is. I would love to see it!

This sat in my inbox for so long, I’m sorry I couldn’t get it done faster! Thank you for the request. Each of the boys got a random colour for their MC because why not. I made most of them really wild colours so I hope you don’t mind lmao. And the hair is implied to be at least average long so yeah.

Enjoy!

————————————

The Brothers Reacting to an MC with dyed hair:

Lucifer:

-I mean, most demons do have unnatural hair colours and all that

-So brightly coloured heads weren’t exactly new to him

-But yours was a vibrant and rich red

-Which definitely caught his attention

-You made an impression on him the moment you set foot in DevilDom, without even realising it

-He just thinks that your red curls go well with your mannerisms and appearance too

-He wouldn’t think anything less of you just because of your hair but he does love running his hand through it after an exhausting day of chasing after his brothers

-“I like how your hair matches my eyes, love. It’s reassuring almost, knowing that we have something in common appearance wise. For a human, you’re pretty angelic. You are just missing your wings to be honest.”

Mammon:

-Mammon has a bit of an unnatural hair colour himself, except he was created like that and does not dye it

-He thinks your blue bangs are badass and could probably stare at your hair all day long

-You even let him watch you re dye it again one time because he kept asking

-As much as he loves that blue mop you have on your head most of the time, he was always curious what your natural hair colour was

-So he also got to see that at some point too

-If you’re lucky, he might let you dye his hair blue as well (just so he can have more in common with you and to brag about it to his brothers)

-But only temporarily because Lucifer will fucking torture him for a few thousand years for it

-“Oi human! I don’t get why you bother with your hair so much ya know? Do you hate your original hair colour? Either that or you really love blue. I-I mean, don’t get me wrong or anythin’ because y-you are very good looking anyway and your hair is pretty cool- fuCK JUST FORGET I SAID ANYTHING OK??!”

Levi:

-He never really had an opinion on his hair before

-Levi thought it was a ‘meh’ colour

-But your dyed hair had a similar shade to his and that made him appreciate it a bit more

-Yours was slightly darker than his, royal purple and he was awestruck the moment he set his eyes on you

-That colour fit you so much better than him!

-Let him play with your hair, please, his heart will pop like a balloon

-He kinda respects you for having the courage to dye your hair. Even though he’s a demon, he wouldn’t really risk it because Asmo once told him dying your hair will cause it to fall out and he believed that, poor Levi he had to google that shit up

-“It’s not fair that your hair is so much better than mine MC! But... I guess it doesn’t matter. I like your hair a lot and it sort of reminds me of a anime protagonist. But don’t worry normie, I like you waaaayyy more. I.....I said that one out loud didn’t I?”

Satan:

-He would recognise that colour anywhere, believe me

-Green stands out a lot and it’s a very obvious and ‘in your face’ kind of shade

-Your appearance is what drew him toward you in the first place, since your hair goes so well with his whole aesthetic

-Like the rest of his brothers, hair colour has nothing to do with his selection when it comes to partners but he still thinks it’s mesmerising

-He loves running his hand through your hair too!

-Especially if you’re anywhere near him while he reads

-Once you start dating, he will ask you what your natural hair colour is but other than that, he respects your decision in wanting it to keep it dyed

-“Emerald green...It’s almost like the universe knew you’d get send down here and that I’d get this attached to you. Why else would your lovely hair complement with my sin so well then?”

Asmo:

-OH MY GOODNESS, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS

-Your pink hair is absolutely faboulous and he will not let anyone say otherwise

-He frets over your constantly, insisting on brushing your hair and helping you dye it

-Small secret that only his brothers are aware of: Asmo definitely dyed his hair at least a couple of times before

-It’s just so pink and cute and stylish, it looks so cute on you he could just eat you out up~

-Another small fact: Beel thought your hair was candy floss and tried eating it, resulting in Asmo throwing his make up kit at him

-“Oh darling, your hair is magnificent! And this colour goes brings out your eyes so well MC! It just makes me want to keep playing with it really. Hmm, I wonder how many styles I can try out~”

Beel:

-You actually have dyed your hair two different colours! Half of your hair is white and the other is red!

-Which of course makes Beel wonder at first if you’re actually a peppermint dressed as a human

-Seriously though, he loves your hair

-Belphie also has two colours mixed on his head (kind of) so it’s so nice seeing that two of his most favourite people are similar in that aspect

-He also offers to style your hair a lot

-He used to do Lilith’s hair back in the Celestial Realm whenever he had the chance to so it comes naturally to him

-“Your hair reminds me of candy but somehow it’s even better. I only have to look at you to feel satisfied and full, almost like my hunger has faded away completely. I love you MC.”

Belphie:

-Your hair colour just gives him relaxing and calm vibes, which is extremely delightful to him

-His new favourite colour now is teal because of you

-Belphie truly loves burying his head in your azure locks and just falling asleep like that

-He doesn’t even have the heart to tease you about you dying your hair

-Like Beel, he grew accustomed to brushing and styling hair so, even though he will complain at first because he’s a whining brat, he is actually more than happy to brush your hair if you ask him

-He watches you dye your hair from time to time too and even the process is sort of tranquil for him

-“That colour would look pretty stupid on anybody else. But you it makes you look really pretty you know? Do you mind if...I play with your hair a little? It’ll help me fall asleep better. Or even your presence alone is enough to be honest.”

Al~

[kuroopaisen]

the semi hcs were so cute,,, could you maybe write a scenario of s/o wearing semi’s clothes?? (bonus for tendou teasing semi lol)

HI this took so long and i’m so sorry,,, this went in a Direction but i kind of like it!

- admin rowan

“Eita?”

“Hm?”

“You’re blushing again.”

Semi’s fist went to his mouth. Was he that obvious?

“Are you feeling okay?” His partner looked up at him, tilting their head. “We can go home if you’re feeling unwell.”

“I’m fine,” Semi bit his lip, looking away from them.

Honestly, he was just a little overwhelmed. They were just sitting there, pouring over the café’s menu… in his shirt.

He knew it was stupid. He even felt a little pathetic. They hadn’t even acted like it was a big deal. They’d just picked it out of his closet and put it on without a word. If they didn’t think it was a big deal, he shouldn’t either. 

But, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Or looking over at them and feeling all... all weird and light inside. Why? Maybe because it felt like a small declaration to the world that they were together.

It has been, what, nearly six months now? Just shy? It had escaped him before he knew it. He’d gotten comfortable with their presence much quicker than he’d expected. It was his first serious relationship, after all. High school had been consumed by volleyball, and most of the dates he’d had in his first semester of university hadn’t gone anywhere. But this time, it was different. His partner could handle his hot-headedness, his competitiveness, his intensity. They actually thought he was cute. They were the sort of person he actually wanted to let into his life, he wanted to be vulnerable with.

Today was the day, after all. The day they’d finally meet some of the guys from his high school team. And perhaps he was a bit more nervous than he should be.

“Semi-Semi!” Tendou’s voice was tinged with a hint of amusement. Oh no.

He raised his hand to beckon his old friend over. “You’re early.”

“I got the bus times mixed up,” Tendou smiled slipping into a seat across the table. “It’s nice to finally meet you!” He turned to beam at Semi’s partner, giving them a cursory nod. “I’ve heard so much about you!”

Semi’s cheeks flushed at those words. But his partner simply smiled, nodding in return. “And I’ve heard so much about you! Guess Monster, right?”

Tendou scoffed. “I’ve left those days far behind me.” His eyes flicked to Semi, tilting his head. “You still play, right?”

Semi nodded. “Still a setter.”

It had been a year since they’d started university, and Tendou had proposed an alumni meet-up. Somehow, he’d even managed to convince Ushijima to come. He’d also told Semi to bring his partner, claiming that he “wanted to meet the person who can actually put up with you.” That was scarier than Semi had anticipated.

“I’ll be back,” his partner reached over and squeezed his hand, offering him one of their brilliant smiles.

“Okay,” Semi smiled back. Across the table, Tendou couldn’t help but smirk at the sheer tenderness in his friend’s voice.

“So…” Tendou’s voice had developed a drawl. Semi could only brace for whatever would come next. “You let them leave the house in that, huh?”

Semi’s head snapped around at that. “Excuse you?”

“You know you have terrible fashion taste,” Tendou waved a hand, lips curled into the sort of smile that made Semi want to brawl him.

Semi groaned, lolling his head back. “This again?”

“You’re lucky they manage to make it look cooler,” Tendou smiled, tilting his head to the side and propping his elbows on the table. “Oh, you two are gross.”

“We haven’t even done anything yet,” Semi scoffed, crossing his arms. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of?”

“The fact that I’m in a loving relationship and you’re not.”

“Oh?” Tendou’s entire body perked up, and he propped his chin on top of his laced fingers. “Loving, huh?”

“Oh, shut up.” But even Semi’s ears were red by now.

“Have you said it yet?”

“None of your business.”

“I’ll take that as a no—”

It wasn’t that he hadn’t said it yet. He’d said it plenty of times, in his own little ways. He just hadn’t used those exact words. They felt… scary. What if his partner wasn’t ready for it? What if he scared them away? He knew he could be intense, but--

“Don’t think too hard, Semi-Semi,” Tendou sighed, “you’ll hurt your head.”

“Call me Semi-Semi again and you won’t have a head.”

This, at least, was familiar. He’d missed this red-headed goblin. Even if he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of saying it out loud.

Maybe it was a good thing Tendou had shown up early. If anyone was going to help his partner assimilate into the group smoothly, it’d be Tendou.

“So, have you written a song about them yet?”

Total silence.  

“Oh, so you have!”

“Tendou, if you don’t shut up, I’ll—”

“Have you shown it to them yet?”

“Absolutely not.”

Fuck.

“Wipe that grin off your face,” Semi mumbled, angrier at himself for being duped.

“Aw, Semi-Semi!” Tendou laughed, his eyes crinkling up. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about!”

“I’m not ashamed.”

“Then why haven’t you shown them, hm?” Tendou tilted his head at him, eyes twinkling a little too bright.

“Because…” Semi swallowed. Surely, there was a way to escape this conversation. He just didn’t know what that was.

“Welcome back!” Tendou beamed, spreading his arms out. “Now, I have some very important questions for you.”

Semi’s partner laughed, slipping back into their seat. They reached for Semi’s hand absent-mindedly, lacking their fingers through his. “You want me to spill the tea, right?”

Semi froze, the colour flooding back to his face. Had they heard any of that? God, he hoped – prayed – that they hadn’t.

He rolled his shoulders, turning to smile at them. His eyes settled on the shirt for a split second – that’s right. He’d bought it in his final year of high school, when the team had spent the afternoon at the mall. Tendou had heavily advised against it – his exact words were that it was “deeply uncool.” So Semi just had to buy it.  

And perhaps it wasn’t particularly stylish, but his partner just looked so cute in it. Cute enough that he nearly forgot himself and placed a kiss on their forehead.

But they were looking at him, head tilted to the side and a soft smile on their face.

“What’s this about a song?”

[babbushka]

Chapter 2/12

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren x Reader 

You do a good job of it, staying out of the way. You’re quiet, you’re unsuspecting, you’re practically invisible; just the way you like it. Until one sunny summer day in 1962, the government base where you work acquires an unusual asset, and everything you know is about to change. 

In the race to save this lonely, desperate, beautiful man, loyalties are shaken on all sides – and the bonds of true love are tested. 

 12.7k ; Warnings: NSFW, mentions of violence, death, blood, mild gore. 

                                              -------------------

“They did what?” Armitage asks, eyebrows raised high as you walk arm in arm down the street to your favorite diner.

Your dreams had been quiet, uneventful during the night. It was almost a disappointment that there was no sign of him, of the figure just beyond the door. You had so been hoping to see him, to get a better glimpse of his face. It was almost a disappointment that there was no dream at all.

Until you remembered that you had been given the day off as a reward for helping in the lab, a reward for keeping your head down and not asking too many questions. And as it was your day off, Armitage had all but demanded that you spend the day together, as was tradition whenever you managed to get a break in your schedule.

So, the light of late morning warms your skin as you count the cracks in the sidewalk, sunglasses that nearly never get any use perched on your nose as you tell your friend of all that happened the day before.

“They kidnapped someone! An actual human person, ‘Tidge!” You’re careful to keep your voice down, careful to not gesture too wildly as to attract attention as you recount the sight of the lab in the state you and Gwen had been given it. “They’re torturing him, there was blood all over the place.”

Armitage isn’t so convinced, not nearly as convinced as you were that something cruel was taking place. He opens the door for you and shakes his head when you look at him expectantly.

“This is the United States government you’re talking about, they would never do something like that.” Armitage says quietly yet firmly, the both of you especially careful now that you were in an enclosed space with other patrons around. “They must have just found him like that.”

You roll your eyes fondly at your friend – the man could be so blind sometimes, patriotism clouding all his judgements. You blame him father for that, but you don’t dare say it out loud.

“No, you don’t understand, I saw him when they first brought him in and he was fine but it was like…” You say instead, trying to make your point and then eventually falling flat. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it was like. They call him the Asset, they want something from him, to use him somehow. It doesn’t feel Kosher.”

Armitage doesn’t have anything to say about that, electing to pick a booth against the window.

You always had a habit of sitting at the same booth every time the two of you went to the diner; it had the most perfect view of the street and Armitage adored people-watching. He liked to comment on the fashions of those who were so unfortunate to pass by his line of vision, making all sorts of scathing remarks on the mixing of patterns and colors.

He had asked you for your opinions on his outfit today, as he tends to do every day when time isn’t of the essence. Always stylish in an understated manner, Armitage was. Even on his day off like this, he was in a suit. You wonder how he does it sometimes, the heat of the Nevada desert beating down on him like this, in his light grey pleated trousers and matching jacket. His vest and tie matched, a grassy green color that complimented his eyes.

You weren’t nearly as concerned, dressed in some light-weight cotton garments in a fashionable cut. You did however opt for a pair of sandals on this excursion out into the daytime world, not having much opportunity to wear them as open-toed shoes were forbidden at work.

The waitress comes over, and she’s a familiar face that you’re eager to see.

“Good morning Professor, (Y/N)! Coffee?” You’ve always liked her, this happy-go-lucky high school girl who will probably take over the diner when she graduates in a year.

You wonder if you were ever so chipper as a junior as you flip through the menu, not having had a chance to spare it a glance yet.

“Yes please, the usual for me and (Y/N) will have the special.” Armitage doesn’t bother looking at her, too occupied with his silent, and sometimes not so silent, judgements of the world outside.

“I don’t like when you order for me, you know that.” You pinch the back of his hand and close the menu.

“Is the special alright?” The waitress asks, and you turn your charms back on her.

“The special’s fine, thank you.” You say, the two of you sharing a smile at the expense of your friend.

When she leaves and comes back with coffee, you and Armitage cheers to a lazy day off, both enjoying the holiday. You doctor it how you like it, and then you too return your gaze out the window while you wait for your food.

It’s so interesting, to see the world during the day.

Sometimes you forget, forget that not everyone has such a bizarre schedule. People are walking their dogs, others are pushing children in strollers. Some are sharing a cigarette by the fire hydrant, and some are reading the newspaper at the bus stop. Cars honk at one another in a friendly and not so friendly manner, and you can’t help but wonder if the man in the tank were free, how he would spend his morning.

You wonder where he comes from, if he would enjoy the summer heat, or if he’s used to a much cooler climate.  

“What does he look like?” Armitage asks, apropos of nothing, as if he reads your mind while he sips his coffee, before clarifying as if you didn’t already know, “The Asset?”

You shrug, annoyed at yourself for not having the chance to get a better look.

“It was hard to tell, he was strapped into a breathing mask – and this awful collar, it looks like he’s in shackles. They’ve got him in this aquarium like he’s some fish.” You try explaining, tapping your finger against the glass of the window in that way that all the zoos tell you not to. “Except it’s not water that’s in the tank, I don’t know, it’s like they poured jell-o all over him, I couldn’t get a good grasp of him.”

“Must be one exotic fish.” Armitage scoffs into his coffee, and you want to have a banter with him but something in your chest aches with the way the man had seemed so sad.

“He looked lonely.” You say, sipping your coffee and watching a group of kids play in the street, their laughs muted through the glass. You wonder if there are people missing him, people looking for him, wherever he comes from.

Armitage knows that tone of your voice, it’s the same one that’s convinced him to rescue small animals or strays before, it’s the reason he’s got an exceptionally spoiled cat.  

“Don’t go falling in love with him,” He warns, pointing his spoon at you aggressively, “They have him for a reason, and if you’re right then it must mean he’s dangerous.”

“I won’t, but I don’t know...” You bat the spoon away, right as the waitress comes back with your breakfast.

“One special and your usual, enjoy.” She says, lightening the mood and changing the atmosphere once again.

This wasn’t the time or place to really have this conversation, you both know. So instead you dig in, enjoying a delicious breakfast at the proper breakfast time, for the first time in…well you don’t know how long.

“I was thinking, maybe we could go to the park.” You suggest, hopeful that he’ll agree. “It’s been a long time since I’ve let the sun properly on my skin.”

Armitage gives you a strange look then, as he cuts into his egg white omelet, and you respond with a look of your own.

“You worry me sometimes, you know?” He says, not really a real question.

“What do you mean?” You frown; Armitage wasn’t really one to worry, not in the typical sense. He worried about the intelligence of his students, the health of his mother, and that was about it.

“People need the sunshine, drives us crazy if we don’t get it – it’s been scientifically proven don’t give me that look.” He cuts himself off when you start to roll your eyes at his spiel, or the beginning of it anyway.

“I’m not going to go crazy, I promise.” You stop him in his tracks, an argument you’ve had too many times with him that you wonder if he’ll ever learn to let go.

From the way his brow is set, you know that he probably won’t.

“Have you ever thought about maybe a different job? You could work with me, at the University.” Armitage doesn’t beat around the bush, “They’re always in need of secretaries, hell, you get a degree and you could teach, god knows you’re smarter than some of the adjuncts there and – ”

“And pull my hair out trying to teach snot-nosed brats who think they know it all because they’ve taken one philosophy course?” You challenge.

Armitage shakes his head and sighs, strikes up a cigarette and lets the smoke waft about, clinging and curling against the sunny window.

“I just don’t know why you’re wasting yourself away at the…airport.” He says carefully, and you bristle at that insinuation.

“I don’t consider it a waste.” Is all you say.

He doesn’t know, he can’t know, why you’re really there. You can’t tell him, because then you’d have to kill him, and you really do value him as a very good friend. You weren’t afforded many friends, and you didn’t want to lose him, so you bring the conversation back to your original question that had gotten so derailed, “Can we go to the park?”

And if Armitage suspects, if he thinks he knows there’s something else going on, he at least has the sense of self-preservation to drop the subject entirely. He eats his omelet and drinks his coffee and smokes his cigarette.

“We can go to the park. I’ll even put the convertible top down, we can drive with the wind in our hair.” He smiles at you, a measured smile, one that just barely reaches his eyes.

You put your hand over his own, a small gesture of appreciation.

“Thank you.” You say sincerely, for his understanding of things known and unknown, and the two of you turn to your breakfasts and continue to judge the town outside.

                                             -------------------  

The park is bustling with activity, when Armitage turns the car off in the nearly full lot.

The holiday gave everyone a chance for some much-needed fun, it would seem. There were families and friends of all ages enjoying the summer sun, dressed all in bright vibrant colors and patterns as they ran about. You and Armitage were set up on a large picnic blanket out in the open, not bothering to look for a spot with a shady tree when the whole point was to soak up the rays as much as you could.

Armitage had brought a couple books with him, and was busy skimming through them, marking and highlighting little passages here and there. You can’t help but smile at the titles, each one relating to the relationship between war and cinema in some way, the grandeur of the military as it’s portrayed.

Unsurprising, but still amusing nonetheless.

What’s even more amusing though, is how Armitage seems to be paying very little attention to the books at hand. You know he must see you looking at him, as he looks over the tops of his books at the group of handsome men romping about in shorts too short.

There’s a friendly game of frisbee in action, some yards away from where you’re lounging in the sun and he’s reading. The men must be in their late twenties, possibly college students but maybe not. They’ve got a cooler of glass bottles of some kind, whether it’s beer or colas you’re not sure, but Armitage certainly looks like he could use a drink, with the way he keeps having to swallow.

“Like what you see?” You tease, and he immediately snaps his book closed.

“Shut up.” He hisses, scowling at you.

“You could offer to play, I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have one more in their company.” You disregard his sour mood at being caught, and encourage him to go live a little.

“I don’t know.” Armitage shakes his head, despite already taking off his suit jacket, revealing the blue vest and white shirt underneath as he complains, “I’m old.”

“You’re thirty-five, that’s not old!” You sit up enough to nudge him happily, “And not much older than them, by the looks of it. The worst they can do is say no.”

You stare at one another for a little while, before he relents.

“Alright, alright fuck, fine. I’ll go ask.” He says, getting up and brushing off imaginary dirt from his trousers while he steps out of his shiny dress shoes and socks.

You yourself have removed your sandals, happy to feel the earth under your feet for the short walk that you had taken across the lawns of the park.

“Proud of you! And if they reject you I’ll only tease you a little for it.” You call after him playfully as he jogs lightly over to the group of men, who pause their playing to greet him.

You wait with bated breath as you watch them talking, and break into a big grin when Armitage turns around and gives you a thumbs up with a wide smile – the first time you’ve seen him so openly happy in a while.

Armitage may worry about you all he likes, but you worry about him too. You worry that his only friend is you, worry that he doesn’t have anyone to call his own, aside from the cats he so adores. You worry what would happen to him, if you were to one day leave.

But that’s a train of thought you blink out of your mind. You weren’t planning on going anywhere, and for now, it’s nice to see him enjoying himself, you think, as he is assigned a frisbee team and the game resumes.

You almost feel like a proud mom, convincing him to go socialize like this. But you can only watch him from across the park for so long, so while he runs about chasing a disc of purple plastic with men who laugh with him and cheer him on, you dig into your purse and pull out a notebook.

If anyone were to look inside the notebook, it would appear absolute gibberish to them. Nothing but loops in long succession, possibly the result of someone’s bored imagination, a hand needing to move while the mind wanders.

To those who knew what to look for, they’d be able to see these were notes, extremely specific and thorough, simply recorded in the script of another language.

You hadn’t had a chance yet to record the Asset in the notebook, and you take the opportunity to do so while Armitage is distracted. Your blue fountain pen glides easily over the lined paper as you map out the timeline of the Asset’s arrival, his containment, the team that brought him.

You get lost in the details of it, and soon you find yourself getting lost in the thought of him.

Who was he? Why was he there? How long would he be there? You wonder what the hell the jell-o is and why he needs it, why he’s shackled in the way he is.

He looked handsome, you think, when you had gotten that one glimpse of him. You weren’t sure how handsome someone could be with half their face obstructed by a mask and the rest filtered through thick blue slime, but something told you he was handsome. You don’t include that part in the notes.

You wonder how he had sliced off those fingers – because clearly it had to have been him. Which meant that he must have been removed from the tank for some period of time, enough time to get aggressive. Your heart began to beat quickly at the thought of that, the thought of a display of power. He was large, so large, you could tell from the form of his body in the tank, such a display of aggression must have been remarkable.

 Then – suddenly and out of nowhere, your vision goes black.

You feel like you’re falling for a moment, a split second, darkness all around you.

You try to open your mouth to speak, to scream to yell shout call for help, something, but you find your lips won’t move.

Then it’s not black, not any longer – it’s red, bright vibrant red, crackling energy that’s searing hot, unstable and angry, so angry. The world around you is filled with it, with this flame which burns too strongly, and you wonder if it’s really a flame at all.

You feel nothing but sheer terror, intense pain. It’s so painful that you almost worry you’re having some sort of organ failure, your body collapsing in on itself. Searing hot blinding pain that hisses through you, your stomach boiling.

 But when you blink, you’re just as you were, sitting on the picnic blanket in the park.

Your hands immediately reach to your stomach, looking for an injury, looking for anything, but you are perfectly fine. The pain was only a phantom, a ghost, but whose you aren’t sure.

You’re covered in a cold sweat, and as it dries you shiver, a shaking hand reaching into your picnic basket. What was the time, how long had you been there, at the park? Your sugar must be low, that’s all, that must be the explanation for this dizzying pounding headache you were now saddled with.

The sun suddenly seems too bright, the breeze too windy, the park too loud. You want to go home, want to curl up in your bed and sleep, want to – you don’t know. You don’t know what you want, you don’t know what will fix this. You don’t know why now all of a sudden these dizzy spells are hitting you, especially two days in a row. Maybe you’ll go to the doctor, get yourself checked out.

Maybe not.

You pull out a small paper bag of some citrus fruits, small clementines that were perfectly ripe and juicy. You love the fruit, but you hate peeling it, the chunks of outer rind always coming off in ugly pieces instead of a nice smooth spiral like some larger oranges.

Eating helps, you chew methodically and really savor each segment of the fruit, the juice of it trickling down onto your chin which you wipe away with the back of your hand. You try to calm yourself and watch Armitage play happily with the men, waving to him when he casts a grin over his shoulder to you to show off his catch of the frisbee.

Eventually, you’re fine once again, the sudden blip of the vision no more than a dull throb in the base of your skull, and you lay back down onto the picnic blanket and look up with a sigh. The clouds are fluffy and white, stretching as far as the eye can see across the powder blue sky.

You look for shapes in the clouds, until a flushed face obstructs your vision, a bright eyed and smiling Professor who sits himself back down on the blanket, jostling you slightly.

“Did you win?” You ask, rolling onto your side and regarding his appearance as you prop your head up on your elbow. Somewhere along the way he had taken off his vest and tie, rolled his sleeves up. It was a good look on him, this casual attire.

“No, but that’s alright, I had a lot of fun anyway.” He says, smiling to himself.

You raise an eyebrow and he pulls out a small slip of paper, one with a carefully written phone number across it in slightly smudged ink, that has you gasping and congratulating him for a moment, reaching for the paper with grabby hands to get a better look.

You wonder which of the men gave it to him, which had been so bold. You cast your gaze over to the men who were now packing up their own belongings, having had enough fun for the day. One in particular, a handsome brunette, can’t stop smiling in Armitage’s direction, and joy bubbles up in your chest for your friend.

It was still something to be careful about, you know. You hate it, hate how secretive so many people had to be. You hope that one day, one day soon, people will rise up the same way they are for civil rights, and like racism they combat the homophobia that runs deep through the country.

There was much to be combatted, throughout the country, you think bitterly to yourself for a moment, before turning your attention to your friend once more.

“You must use an absurd amount of gel for your hair to still be that perfect after running around all afternoon.” You tease, pretending to knock on the hard shell of his somehow still immaculate hair.

“I use the exact correct amount.” He waves your hand away with a blush that brings out his freckles, before checking his watch and mulling the time over in his head. “Are you ready to go? You really should get some sleep.”

“You’re right, and there’s some laundry I’ve been meaning to tend to. I hate being a grown-up sometimes. Laundry never fucking ends, does it? Even when I’ve folded and washed all that I’ve got, I still have to wash and fold what I’m wearing.” You complain in agreement, that feeling of wanting to go home returning ten-fold.

“Maybe we should run away to a nudist colony.” Armitage offers, and you laugh as you pack up your things.

“Now there’s an idea.” You say, before linking arms with him and walking back to his car.

                                               -------------------

You had grown to love the apartment, over the years.

When you had first moved in it was an empty barren space, no furniture or decorations to speak of. Boris had been so excited to find an interested renter for the place, that he had given you a reduced price as incentive and you were grateful for that because it had allowed you to put some money towards sprucing up the place.

You remember the early days, back when all you had was a mattress on the floor and a single frying pan to your name, having traveled here with nothing more than the clothes on your back and a briefcase of paperwork.

But now, now that it had been some time, the apartment felt less like an old storage space above a movie theater, and more like a home.

You had completely re-wallpapered the faded and ugly grey drywall, had polished and waxed the hardwood floors. The furniture was exactly to your taste, and it felt lived in, with things all over. Not overly cluttered, not more than you needed, but enough to be a place of comfort, your own little sanctuary.

It's not very big, not the largest but it’s also not the smallest. When you first walk in there’s the living room with the TV you adore set into a big wall-unit covered in trinkets and things that make you smile. To the right is a small closet of your clothing and beyond that is the master bedroom, large enough that it could really be a secondary living room, should you ever want to switch up the layout. On the other side of the living room is the bathroom, fitted with a leaky clawfoot tub that you always swear you’re going to get fixed, and through a door to the left is the kitchen.

You didn’t use your kitchen much, opting to cook your few meals at home in Armitage’s place, as he had a much larger area for dining. You didn’t mind your own small space, but why cramp yourself when your best friend next door had counter-tops for days? In fact, the only times you really are in your kitchen are to brew a pot of coffee on the stove, and to pass through the sliding glass door to the balcony where you spend much of your time catching those last bits of sun.

You almost want to tell him that you get plenty of Vitamin D from your sun naps, but it’s not important. He’s already said goodnight and returned to his own apartment for the rest of the day, as was your usual tradition. Armitage has always been very good about maintaining a strict schedule, leftover from his upbringing you suppose – although it’s something so intrinsically Armitage that you’re sure he’d be a sticker for schedules no matter how he had been raised.

The apartment is buttery gold with late afternoon sun that comes through all the open curtains around the windows, but you can’t stop yourself from yawning. You don’t need to look at the clock to know it must be nearing five o’clock, your body telling you to get some shut eye all on its own. You both know that once two in the morning rolls around, your alarm will go off and he’ll be pissed, and you’ll soothe him with coffee once more, back to the routine you’re used to.

You put on a soft 45 and turn the volume on the record player down low as you fold what’s left of your laundry, a basket or two having been washed a few days before that you never got around to. You hum and dance slightly to it, an old movie soundtrack you adore. You never cared much for films or musicals before moving into this apartment, where it was nearly unavoidable to escape.

But like most other things, you’d been here long enough that between being friends with Armitage, and living in the place you did, you had such an affection for film that now you can’t imagine yourself without it.  

Once the last apron and pair of socks have been folded, you take your notebook out of your purse and walk it to the foyer of the apartment. There underneath the welcome mat, you lift a loose panel of the floorboard, and pull out a tin box.

You place the notebook among the blueprints and maps of your work, photographs and photocopied memos nestling underneath it. You’ll hand all this information over soon, you know. But until then, back under the floorboard the tin box stays, and off to sleep you go.

                                               -------------------

All too soon, you find yourself waiting for the bus once more.

The night is warm, but not so hot that it’s uncomfortable. Night-time in the desert wasn’t so harsh as it was during the day, and could actually get quite chilly on occasion, something that you were very surprised to learn when you first moved to Vegas. You’re in your uniform, belly full of coffee and bags slung on your shoulder, pleasantly watching the night-life around you and waiting for Mr. Henry to arrive.

You don’t have to wait long, the bus rounding the corner and coming to a hissing stop exactly on time.

As per usual, you take your seat and enjoy the emptiness of the bus.

“Missed you last night (Y/N)!” The kind bus driver is happy to see you, and that warms your heart.

“I know I’m sorry, I had an unexpected day off if you can believe.” You say, making his eyebrows shoot up as he pulls away from the stop when it’s clear no other passengers are2 getting on.

“You know I used to think you were a vampire, never seeing you out and about in the daytime and all?” Mr. Henry jokes, glancing at you through the rear-view mirror as he navigates the minor traffic.  

“Vampires don’t exist, Mr. Henry, you know that.” You smile, pillowing your head against the window. You always put down a little cushion of sorts, whether it’s your hat that day or a sweater, or even your bag. You find that if you don’t, your head bounces and rattles against the glass, and it’s not the most pleasant feeling.

“Can’t an old man have a little imagination?” Mr. Henry laughs to himself, a dry chuckle that only makes you want to give him a hug, even more-so when he asks, “How’s that friend of yours, Professor Hux?”

“He’s good! Very excited that the summer session is almost over, the students this time around are giving him some grief.” You’re glad to talk about him, being around Armitage always gave you funny anecdotes whether he knew it or not. “He calls them incompetent and says that all of their IQs put together wouldn’t be enough to register on the scale.”

That brings about an even bigger laugh from the kind driver, one that draws a cough out of him.

“Well not everyone can live above a twenty-four-hour movie theater like him.” He clears his throat and you attempt to bring the mood down to something less rowdy, not wanting your friend to injure himself accidentally.

“No, we certainly are very lucky.” You say, suddenly curious about something. “Where do you live, Mr. Henry?”

“Oh not far, my wife and I have a home in the suburbs just outside of town. She didn’t want to be in the city with all the craziness. I don’t blame her, with some of the things I see on my routes.” He gestures with one hand at a red light, out at the street.

The Vegas Strip was known for being extravagant, showgirls and gambling and far too much alcohol. It was flashy, with its neon lights and pulsing golden bulbs, but it had an underbelly that a good sensible woman like Odette shouldn’t be exposed to.

“I don’t blame her either.” You agree. Sometimes you think about the brawls you pass on the way to the bus exchange, you think about the people passed out drunk or drugged up on the sidewalks or in alleys.

You don’t think about it much now though.

“It’s nice, quiet where we live. Me and her, we were thinkin’ of having ourselves a garden, we’ve got a little piece of the backyard already squared away for it.” Mr. Henry talks in that friendly way of his, and you’re happy to make conversation.

“I’m surprised you can grow anything, with the soil being so sandy like it is here.” You remark honestly.

“There’s lots that you can grow in the desert! Carrots, beets, all sorts of peppers and melons and corn.” Mr. Henry says, and you have a feeling he’d make a magnificent garden, even if by sheer passion alone.

“Maybe I’ll join you, I’ve got a balcony, maybe I’ll get myself a pot of soil and grow some tomatoes. I can trade you for some beets.” You smile at him as he approaches a stop which has quite a few people on it.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” He replies, before the two of you retreat to silence so as to not disturb the many new passengers which board his bus.

                                               -------------------

Running and weaving your way through the crowd at the exchange, you once again narrowly make the departure time of your second bus. Gwen as always holds your seat for you, and as always she snaps at the woman who complains.

In the very back row of the bus, you hug one another in greeting, and you pour her a thermos of coffee which she eagerly chugs. Sometimes you wonder how she can stand to do that, with it still so piping hot as it is, but then again, very little deters Gwen when she wants something.

“What did you do yesterday?” You ask by way of starting the conversation as Gwen shuffles a deck of cards in her lap.

“I slept!” She laughed, as if that were the height of luxury. “God it felt so fucking good to sleep without the alarm clock ringing in my damn ear, let me tell you. What about you? Did you get some sleep?”

“We went to the diner and the park, I took a bit of a nap in the sunshine, but the place was fucking packed with people, seems like everyone had the same idea to go spend the holiday in the fresh air. Armitage even made some new friends.” You say with a smile, and Gwen can only smile back.

“He wasn’t the only one.” She is filled with a nervous sort of excitement, one that you don’t normally get to see on your friend.

“Oh?” You prompt, nosy and curious.

“I went out for a car wash, and wouldn’t you know it but that pretty red head who works in the observation building? She was there too, and we wound up talking for the whole time they were caring for our cars.” Gwen can’t get the smile off her face, one that makes her cheeks pink up as she shuffles and re-shuffles the deck.

“There’s lots of pretty red heads in the observation building. Secretary?” You note, trying to figure out which one she means.

“No, custodial like us.” Gwen corrects, and it clicks in your brain.  

“Oh, Mary.” You nod, knowing exactly which pretty red head has caught Gwen’s eye.

Not a bad choice at all, you think to yourself.

“Yes! Shit it was so awkward, I knew I knew her name and she knew mine but we’ve never actually been introduced and I didn’t want to call her a name that wasn’t actually hers, you know? We both did our best not to embarrass the other – you would have laughed at us you’re so good with names.” Gwen deals the cards and she’s right, you do laugh and tease your friend good-naturedly.

“No I’m not, you’re just really bad.” You nudge her with your elbow, and she swats at your shoulder with a big grin.

 The bus ride was uneventful, and before you knew it, the passengers all trickled out one by one. The bus emptied nicely, steadily, enough that you and Gwen could spread out just a small bit, not so squished against one another.

It’s still dark out when the driver bulls over to the side of the road, so dark and so far away from the city that you can see a thousand stars up there in the night sky. It makes your chest ache, missing the dream that didn’t come once again. You felt like you were on the precipice of something with it, had hoped that maybe while you slept you’d get to walk among those stars.

But it hadn’t come, and you don’t remember if you dreamt or not, so the best you can get is glancing out the window up at the constellations above, as the bus driver clears his throat.

“Identification?” He glances at you, and almost on auto-pilot you hold up your card from the back of the bus.

“Just for you.” Gwen says as she holds her up too.

That earns you a chuckle from the driver, and he pulls back onto the main road.

Sometimes you wonder what would happen, if there were a stowaway. If someone were to just not get off at their stop. He is armed, you know that – everyone in connection to the base’s security was armed. But would this kindly bus driver gun someone down for perhaps falling asleep from the early hour and missing their stop?

You rest your head against the window and look up at the constellations. They seem so bright, though they are so far away. You’ve always had an affinity for space, the final frontier. It’s what made this job so appealing, among other things. You got to learn, learn so much about the great expanse of the universe. Silently observing and taking in the grandeur of the galaxy.

 You’re still thinking about it, about space, when you arrive at the checkpoint, when the security team jokes with you and you pass the clearance test. You’re thinking about it all the way to the locker room, how wonderful it might be to one day get a taste of it, of the cosmos.

Gwen, as usual, brings you back to reality.

“Ooh, we’ve got engineering today.” She flips through the clipboard with eyebrows raised.

“Really? The whole day?” You try and peek over her exceptionally tall frame to look at the paperwork yourself.

“Looks like it yeah. We haven’t been in there for a while, have we?” She frowns.

“Let’s hope it’s not a shitshow, and they’ve not assigned it to us because no one else wants to clean it.” You groan, stowing your things away in the lockers you have side by side.

“You don’t think the engineers will be covered in blood, do you?” Gwen asks, looking genuinely worried by the thought.

“Nah, I think the worst we’ll get is emptying out the ashtrays.” You reassure her, and she cracks a grin as she lights up a cigarette of her own.

 It’s no secret that the engineering labs are the most notorious places for custodial to be assigned, nor is it a secret that no one ever wants to go in there. The people are so highly secretive and protective of the work they do that half the time they bitch and moan that cleaners have to come in at all. But with all their complaining, you’d think that they’d try and do the custodial team a favor by keeping their stations organized and clear.

You’d think.

The first room you and Gwen tackle is the vehicle assembly room, and it’s nearly chaotic in the way that there’s things absolutely everywhere. Things you aren’t by any means allowed to touch. Big pieces of steel and iron waiting to be transformed into you don’t know what. It looks almost like a hangar, some large warehouse where employees are putting together new types of fighter jets.

In fact, for it being an assembly hangar, it looked like the place was swarming with engineers who were currently disassembling a plane. They were quick, efficient, too many men with clipboards watching too many men with saws and screwdrivers rip and hack apart a piece of…

You didn’t actually know, what it was.

“What the hell?” Gwen murmurs to herself as the two of you clean the glass in one of the observation offices on the ground floor of the hangar.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before, that shape.” You agree, spritzing cleaning solution onto the window that overlooks the big warehouse, engineers buzzing like bees.

They’re climbing all over it, this big hulking mass of metal. It has to be a plane, but it’s not one you’ve ever seen before. The body of the ship is a large orb, nearly perfectly circular and made of black metal with dark red accents. There’s a circular window which must serve as the windshield, but the glass has been shattered. Protruding from the sides of the orb are supports which are connected to what appear to be wings.

Except the wings on this plane don’t face sideways like any aircraft you’ve seen before, no, these wings face forward. In fact, they are so long that the extend far beyond the orb itself, and you wonder how that could be aerodynamic.

The plane, or whatever it is, looks like it suffered a massive crash – two of the wings are broken, and the glass of the shield is shattered, the orb dented in some places. Despite its poor condition, you find you can’t help yourself from admiring it, wondering which country could have designed something so unique.

 But there are more pressing matters at hand, more rooms to clean, so the two of you shrug at one another and you move on.

 Another one of these rooms happens to be an engines testing facility, up on the third floor of the hangar. It’s a much smaller space compared to the assembly room, with a lesser surface area to accumulate dust, and yet it seems as though it’s consistently one of the dustiest rooms. You and Gwen take your time going over every counter, every table-top.

No one pays you any mind, thankfully, as you go about your business. Gwen doesn’t seem to be in a very chatty mood today, which you don’t consider to be too out of the ordinary. She is over on the other side of the room, and the lack of her present company allows you a chance to absorb as much as you can of what’s on these tables in front of you.

This engine must have been taken from the plane, it must have been. It’s such a specific shape, circular like the body of the plane had been, that it only makes sense to have been from the fallen piece of machinery. It’s got a silver metal casing which has been broken and removed to expose all sorts of tubing, pipes and wires.

Under the guise of wiping down and sanitizing the sides of the whiteboards which the engineers write on, you read the scrawl that’s been left there, take in how each part has been labeled. You wish you had a camera, wish you had photographic memory, because what you read is fascinating, absolutely fucking fascinating.

It’s a reactor, a plasma propulsion engine – an Ion engine. You had only ever heard rumors of such a means of energy, had actually only ever overheard the rumors. Engines like these were supposed to reach up to speeds of almost ninety-thousand meters per second – completely dwarfing any comprehension of how fast a ship could fly.

Didn’t they say commercial planes only went a little over three-hundred meters per second?

You nearly drop your cleaning rag, nearly drop the bottle of solution at the comparison. If these figures were correct, then that would mean someone out there had begun the work to travel at the speed of light – maybe even faster.

The thought makes you nearly overwhelmed, and you worry for a moment you were going to have another one of those strange spells, but none such thing came.

 Thankfully, Gwen returns to your side soon enough, and you continue to move through the building as the shift goes on. You clean the bathrooms and the kitchen areas, the floors are mopped and the windows and mirrors all polished. You empty trash bin after trash bin – and dozens of ashtrays, some nearly overflowing with a mix of cigarette brands.

You’re grateful that there’s no other monumentally lifechanging material to be confronted with in this moment, and your hands itch to get home so that you can write it all down. They’ll be interested, so interested in this news – because you’re nearly positive it’s not them who made it, they’d be much more panicked if they knew the government had a hold of one of their ships.

Which begs the question, if it’s not the Russians, then whose is it? If the ship was built with an Ion engine, what else could it have possibly held – what weapons was it fitted with?

 Before you know it, you and Gwen are returning to the locker rooms.

Gwen opens her locker and takes exactly ten seconds before she curses and slams the slender door shut.

“Oh, fuck me!” She groans, sitting down on the bench between the aisles of the lockers, peering into her brown paper bag lunch.

“What, what’s wrong?” You’re alarmed, sitting down and trying to see if she’s alright, already wondering how you can help.

“My sandwich accidentally got crushed, juice spilled all over and now everything’s sticky.” She bemoans, pulling out a tuna sandwich that’s now more a mangled mess of bread than anything else.

“Want to split mine? You can have the clementine.” You’re sympathetic to her cause, as the both of your stomachs rumble.

She sighs, gets up and throws the lunch in the garbage bin in the hallway, shuffling her feet in disappointment before huffing and puffing and sitting back down next to you, pillowing her head on your shoulder.

“No thanks, I don’t know how you’re not more concerned with your enamel.” She says, and you quirk an eyebrow at her.

“My what?” You laugh a little at her melodrama.

“You know, your teeth. Acid from things like citrus wears it down, my dentist told me that.” She says, as she lights up a cigarette.

Something about that feels counter-intuitive, but you keep that thought to yourself.

“I’ve been eating a clementine a day every year that I’ve worked here, and my enamel is just fine, so you can tell your dentist that he shouldn’t be scaring nice pretty women.” You pull out the small citrus from your own lunch bag, and offer it to her sincerely.

Though she gives a smile of gratitude, she shakes her head and pushes it back into your own lap. She blows smoke out the cracked window of the locker room, tucked away in your safe little corner. Some people elected to eat lunch outside, there was a small patio area with tables and chairs for the very purpose, since it wasn’t allowed to leave the property and then return if you were still on shift.

Gwen sometimes joked that if she got a taste of the sun for lunch, she’d be hungry for it more and more, so it was better to hide away in the locker room, enjoying the peace and quiet.  

“How has it already been five hours?” She wonders out loud, checking her watch.

You check yours too, and sigh.

“Don’t you think it’s wild that it’s only ten o’clock in the morning?” You muse, your mind wandering back to the day before where you pretended to be a normal person for once. “Some people are just waking up now, others are finishing breakfast-- the milk-man is doing his rounds right now.”

“Oh, shit.” Gwen groans again, and you can’t help but smile.

“What?” You ask, although you already know.

“I forgot to put my bottles on the front step.” Gwen smacks a hand to her forehead, predictable in the way she somehow manages to do this every week.

“Armitage does it for me, the angel. Although don’t ever let him know I called him that.” You wink, and she raises her eyebrow in a manner that has you already bracing for some sort of inane question.

“Do you think the two of you would ever, you know…?” She asks, waggling that brow and making your nose crinkle up.

“No chance in hell.” You say, before your tone softens. That immediate reaction maybe wasn’t the nicest, which wasn’t very fair to him, so you amend, “I love him, but he’s…well. He’s like you.”

“Like me, how?” Gwen frowns, and you look around for a moment to make sure no one was there to overhear.

“Plays for the other team.” You say simply when the coast is proven clear.

“But he was married to a woman!” Gwen’s volume doubles and you wince, “For ten years!”

“Not very happily, clearly.” You shrug, and she stares at you, before staring down at the floor, and then back at you, and then out the window.

“Huh.” Is all she can articulate – before breaking out into a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?” You challenge, ready to defend your neighbor, when she shakes her head.

“You’ve got two friends and both of them are gay, what are you a magnet for homosexuals? No wonder you’re still single.” She teases, leaving you to smack at her strong thigh.

“Hey! It’ll happen, I just have to meet the right guy, I’m holding out for him.” You say, peeling apart your clementine and plucking the segments apart, throwing a piece of the poorly ripped rind at her playfully.

Her laughter dies down a bit after a while and she blows more smoke out the window, stubbing the end of the cigarette against the concrete wall.

She sits down and puts her head back on your shoulder, and sighs.

“Just…don’t hold out too long, okay?” She says quietly, her tone having shifted to something far too somber. “I don’t want you blinking your eyes and all of a sudden you’re nearing forty and single, living alone in that apartment.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being forty and single,” You counter, because really, there wasn’t. You knew that in your line of work, finding someone to settle down with would be nearly impossible, and you’ve resigned yourself to that. Still, matchmaking was such a big deal to those in your age group, that the pressure was almost inescapable, so to appease her, you shrug. “But I don’t know, I have a good feeling about it, about meeting Mr. Right.”

“Was it that dream of yours again?” Gwen asks, still soft spoken, her confident personality pared back a tad.

“Mhm, I got closer the last time it happened.” You whisper, heart beginning to beat a little faster at the admittance of, “I saw someone.”

“Really?” Gwen sits up properly, eagerly faces you. “Who was it – someone we know? You know I was reading this thing about how brains aren’t smart enough to come up with a completely new person when you’re dreaming, so it recycles the image of someone you’ve glimpsed before even if you don’t know them personally.”

“He didn’t have a face, it was just the outline of a person.” Your mild disappointment and frustration at the lack of information in your brain makes you quirk your mouth down into a frown, and Gwen nods in understanding.

“Well, when your dream is a little more forthcoming, I better be the first to know.” She says sincerely, and that makes you smile, makes you remember how grateful you are that you have such supportive friends – even for silly things like dreams.

You try offering Gwen the clementine once more, and she smiles and reluctantly accepts a single segment, before fishing out a couple coins from her purse and heading to the vending machine.

She comes back with two sodas, one for each of you, and you cheers the little glass bottles together, back in good spirits once again.

                                               -------------------

As you’re leaving the locker room, ready to embark on your next set of rooms in the engineering building, your boss shows up out of nowhere and stands before you. Mr. Robert is in a much better mood now that he had been the last time you saw him. He was calm and collected, not dripping with sweat and looking like he was about to pass out from worry.

“(Y/N), Gwen, Mr. Tarkin would like to speak with you.” He says, before continuing on down the hallway.

You and Gwen exchange looks, and leave your carts tucked against the wall in a corner so that they’re out of the way, before heading down to the administrative offices.

The offices are probably the closest the base will ever come to being a normal workplace. The entire the third floor of the main building was a large room desks of secretaries and cubicles of pencil-pushers, surrounded by four walls of offices.

It’s almost jarring, hearing the ring of telephones and the clack of typewriters, the bustle of men gossiping by the water cooler, chatter of women recounting their holiday. It was easy to forget that some people had nine-to-fives, even in your own base. Not everyone worked the early morning shift, after-all.

Mr. Tarkin’s office is right next to Mr. Robert’s, so it’s easy enough to find. You’re very impressed with how much hes’ made himself at home, having only been there for two days. Already personal affects decorate the space, desk covered in little practicalities, cabinets with folders and stacks of paperwork securely tucked against the walls.

Behind his desk is a multitude of security screens, all focusing on different areas of the base. You wonder if those had always been there, or if it was something Mr. Tarkin had specifically requested.  

“Hello again ladies.” Speak of the devil, the man himself walks in after you, his attention seemingly needed elsewhere when he had sent the request for you to visit.

“Good morning Mr. Tarkin, how may we help you?” Gwen asks, as he rounds the table and sits down.

He doesn’t offer for you to sit, so you don’t.

“I’ve been informed that it was the two of you who found my fingers.” Mr. Tarkin lifts his hand, which is heavily bandaged with hospital dressings. You’re grateful that it would appear to be completely covered with gauze, not an inch exposed.

“I did, yes.” You confirm, “They were under a cabinet, sir.”

Mr. Tarkin’s expression is unreadable, entirely stoic, composed.

“I cannot thank you enough.” He says, although there’s no hint of gratitude in his tone, “The hospital was able to reattach them, let’s hope it sticks.”

“Yes, sir.” You agree, flexing your own fingers behind your back. You couldn’t imagine having them hacked off and reattached, the whole thing felt very Frankenstein.

“Are you familiar with that particular lab, misses…?” Mr. Tarkin trails off, prompting you to introduce yourselves.

“(Y/L/N) and Psalm.” Gwen says, making Mr. Tarkin’s lip twitch.  

“Psalm?” He repeats, curious.

“Yes sir, it is an unconventional last name, I am aware.” She is ready for a challenge, but one never comes.

“We can’t help our names.” Mr. Tarkin cuts right to the chase, “Are you familiar with science labs, Miss Psalm?”

You and Gwen look at one another, and she looks back at him, meets his steely gaze with one of her own. Gwen had a bad habit of being openly antagonistic towards people – men particularly – who spoke down to her, or assumed her intelligence was lesser because she happened to be a beautiful woman. Too many men though you could either have big tits or a big brain, and Gwen didn’t give a shit how powerful or how high in the command chain someone was, she’d cut them down to size.

“Yes sir, we have the appropriate clearance levels, so we often are assigned to detail and sanitize the many intricate facilities at the base.” She says, voice clipped.  

“I know you have the clearance, I ran a check on the both of you myself.” Mr. Tarkin surprises you both once again by not immediately attempting to explain the type of work that goes on in the labs in a condescending manner. Instead he leans forward in his chair at his desk and regards you both carefully. “When you were cleaning and consequently finding my fingers, did you happen to get a good look at it? The Asset?”

“No sir.” You lie.

It’s not really a lie, not really. You hadn’t gotten as good of a look as you had wanted.

“How long have you and Miss Psalm known one another?” Mr. Tarkin returns his attention to you.

“About ten years now, if memory serves.” You look to your friend, and she nods in confirmation, so you’re more confident when you say, “As long as I’ve been working here.”

“Ten years, that’s mighty impressive.” Mr. Tarkin’s lip twitches again. “I’ve been reading your files. What, if you don’t mind my asking, possesses a pair of beautiful young women like yourselves, to spend the prime of their youth cleaning up other people’s messes?”

And there it was again, that notion of wasting one’s youth away. You grit your teeth but attempt to be polite, attempt to not lunge over the counter and strangle this man. You imagine the way his neck would feel snapped between your hands, wonder what he might look like with that cold mask contorted into one of pain.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but you get settled and find an environment that gives you what you need, fulfills you in some way, and you stick with it.” Gwen shrugs.

“How does being a custodian fulfill you, Miss (Y/L/N)?” Mr. Tarkin asks you, clearly trying to get a rise out of you.

“I like knowing that without people like me, this place would be a nightmare.” You say truthfully, a sharp gaze of your own cutting into his self-importance while your tone is kept light, unassuming. “Without people like me, people like you might not have had their fingers found.”

Mr. Tarkin regards you for a long while. You are not one to back down, and he seems to be realizing this.

“The Asset, whatever you think it is, it’s not.” Mr. Tarkin says as he stands up, puts his hands on his hips, careful of the bandages.

“We don’t think – ” Gwen starts, but apparently he wasn’t finished.

“When you’re assigned to clean, you clean, and then you get out. Is that clear? The thing we keep in there is an abomination, an aggressive and dangerous creature. I should know.” Mr. Tarkin raises his hand, but you don’t appreciate the way he talks about him, about the man in the tank.

“Is he not human, sir?” You ask.

That seems to be the wrong question.

“You clean, you get out.” He repeats himself once more.

“Yes sir, we understand.” You whisper, casting your eyes down in a faux submission to placate him.

He looks like he wants to say something else, but the red phone on the desk rings, and his attention snaps to that instead.

“You’re dismissed.” He waves you both away, “Close the door on your way out.”

 You do as your told, giving him an overly polite curtsy, partially to be dramatic and sarcastic, before closing the door.

You and Gwen hold your tongues until you make it to the elevators, and you wait for an empty one to come by before getting in, allowing other people ahead of you to pass the time.  

“I don’t like him.” You say, once an empty elevator car appears, and the doors close in front of you, sealing you both away from the office as the feeling of dropping whooshes through your stomach.

“Yeah me fucking neither.” Gwen grumbles, before taking in a deep breath and going, “Hey, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?”

“You just did.” You point out, making her roll her eyes.

“Don’t be difficult.” She scoffs, and your tone softens.

“Go for it.” You encourage her sincerely.

She’s nervous, you can tell by the way she picks at her nicely manicured hands, inspects them thoroughly for imperfections that don’t exist.

“Remember how I was telling you that yesterday I ran into Mary, you know Mary?” She asks, and you smile, deciding not to bring up how yes, you were the one who told Gwen her name earlier that morning.

“I know Mary.” You nod, wondering what all this is about.

“She asked me if I would be interested in spending some time with her, possibly share the second half of the shifts with her from now on.” Gwen admits, looking guilty, guilty for breaking a tradition the two of you have kept for a decade.

“Is she…?” You ask, gesturing at your friend in a manner that insinuates being gay like Gwen.

“I think so.” Gwen nods, speaks carefully, quietly. “And I think I would like her very much, if I got to know her.”

“Then what are you doing hanging around me for?” You smile at her, bump your hip against hers as the elevator doors open on the ground floor, and the two of you return to your carts which thankfully haven’t been touched or moved this entire time. “Go, I can talk to Parker and have lists switched around, if it all works out.”

Gwen pulls you into a tight hug, one that makes you worry for her in the same way that you worry about Armitage.

“I’m not abandoning you, I want you to know that up front. I fully intend to spend the first half of the shifts with you, but maybe after lunch we can go off. Maybe you can meet your Mr. Right that way, without me hanging around.” Gwen tries to justify her desires to herself, but you won’t have any of it.

You support her, wholeheartedly, even if it makes you a little sad. Her friendship means more to you than that, than holding her captive.

“Sounds like a plan Gwen, go get to know Mary.” You hug her back tightly, arms squeezed around this beautiful woman who deserves nothing but the best chances at a life that will make her happy.  

“Thank you, (Y/N).” She whispers, before taking a big breath and pushing her cart away in the opposite direction of where you would both normally walk together.

                                               -------------------

Walking down the long hallway deep in the bowels of the base, you find yourself in front of the lab once more. It’s strange, not having Gwen by your side, strange not having her to comment and complain in that familiar way. But it’s also not together unwelcome. You wonder if maybe, since you’re coming alone, the Asset will be more inclined to show himself.

Just as you’re about to scan your identification card however, the steel doors hiss open and out stumbles a screaming scientist. You aren’t sure which one this is, but he doesn’t make it more than a few steps, before the top half of his torso slides off of the bottom half, a clean slice through his body.

You cover your mouth and nose in shock at the sight, stifling your own gasp, as the man falls to the ground in two pieces. It is quite the scene, and you tuck yourself out of sight behind the large mechanical mechanism which operates the doors as those in the hallway begin to scream and run away.

More scientists rush around the fallen man, panicked and desperately calling for help.

You cannot stop looking at him though, because though he is severed into two, there is no blood. You smell the stench of burnt flesh and it makes you gag, and only then do you realize that whatever has murdered this man has done so in a way where the seams of his body are cauterized shut, sealed on impact.

People flood the hallway, and you make the quick decision in all the commotion, to slip through the steel doors just as they’re beginning to close.

You don’t know what compels you to do so, but you do, bracing yourself against the shut door when it hisses closed behind you.

Unlike the other day, there are no pools of blood sloshing about on the floor. The room looks a disaster, chairs and tables toppled over, papers strewn absolutely all over every surface. You quickly bend down and pick one up, read through it hastily.

Bacta, you read, that’s what this jell-o shit is. It’s not entirely dissimilar to jell-o at all, from the looks of the paperwork.

“Stage four bacta composition,” You speak it aloud so that it better sticks in your brain, “Testing for the aid in regenerative properties of biological tissue.”

They were healing him? Regenerating biological tissue…did that mean they were torturing him to see how fast this shit could fix him back again?

You put the paper down right where you found it, careful not to disturb anything else for the time being, as you approach the tank.

He’s floating there, unconscious. The bacta around him is still, and as a result it’s much more clear than it had been the other day. You figure the more he moves, the more it agitates the gel and makes it more difficult to see. But he is still, once again hooked up to a breathing mask and that collar, as he floats peacefully.

He must be sedated, that’s the only explanation. He had to be the one who had killed the scientist, and he must have been shut down for it. But you place your hands on the glass anyway, leaning in close.

This close, you can see some features of his face, and you decide yes, he must be handsome.

His hair is black and beautiful as it suspends around his face. Of his face you can only see his eyes, see how they are closed against the gel, lashes long and dark as they brush against his cheek. He has a couple beauty marks dotting the exposed skin, one above his eyebrow and one on his cheek. You trace the spots with your finger, dragging it against the tank, entranced.

His body is another marvel altogether, you decide, as your gaze travels downwards. He wears nothing but what looks like a pair of swim trunks, a small sense of modesty. He is exceptionally well built, muscular and strong. His arms and thighs look like he could crush your skull between them, and you smile to yourself at the thought that he probably would, if given the chance.

He’s…he’s just so wide. His stomach does not sport defined abs, but there is clear power in the muscle there, the absolute thickness of him. His shoulders look sturdy enough to carry a carload of people without breaking a sweat.

But the thing that somehow, for some reason breaks your heart, is he is absolutely littered in scars and bruises. Even his face, there is a healed gash peeking out from the mask which you think connects to the one that splits down his neck and onto his shoulder. His stomach looks like bullet-holes which have healed, scattered about and mingling with criss-crossing patterns of weapons designed for torture.

You wonder if he came with those, or if they’d be souvenirs he leaves with. You’re not so sure which is more sad.

You wonder if he will ever leave, if they’ll ever let him.

Your eyes fix themselves on a new wound, one that must have just been inflicted, and watch in awe as the bacta does what it’s designed to do.

You’ve never seen anything like this before, never in all your years at the base. You nearly press yourself to the tank, smudge the glass with your breath as you level your face with his torso. There is a deep wound, one that had carved its way down into the Asset’s bone, and you nearly can’t believe your eyes as you watch it heal.

The bacta penetrates the wound and stitches it closed, almost like magic. It works from the inside out, works to rebuild and grow the tissues in the layers of their importance, until in only a matter of minutes, it is completely smooth, the only sign of any sort of injury being freshly pink skin.

And then, almost as if he knows, as if he can sense you, he raises his hand and presses it against the glass.

You dart to stand up once more, having been crouching in front of his stomach to watch the mesmerizing process of the bacta healing. His eyes are still closed, and he doesn’t move aside from his hand, and you wonder if it hurts, if it’s painful to regrow tissue that quickly.

Outside the door you hear talking, footsteps. And though they don’t stop in front of the lab, it’s a reminder that you’re not technically supposed to be here now, you’re not technically assigned to clean in this moment.

“I have to go.” You tell him, even though he can’t hear you – both because he’s asleep, and because he’s behind bulletproof glass. “I have to go but I’ll come back, okay? Tomorrow I’ll come back.”

You collect yourself and leave his side, leave the tank. You try your best not to step on anything, not to disturb any of the toppled furniture, not to make a sound. It aches you to leave him, but you know that he doesn’t even know you’re there to begin with.

You scan the identification card and wait for the blast doors to open, and without a look back, you leave.

You don’t see it, but his hand tenses against the glass, a silent plea for you to stay.

                                               -------------------

Once back at home, you make a beeline for the bathroom. There’s so much to process from the day, so much from the engine rooms, from the paperwork and the white boards and and and. There’s so much change all at once, and you’re still a little sad at the change in your routine, a routine which you held so dearly, now that Gwen has met someone new.

You drop your bags in the living room, put your shoes in their cubby on your way to the small bathroom where you plug the drain and turn on the leaky faucet.

You stare at yourself in the mirror, really stare at your face. You looked like you could use some care, and that was exactly what you intended to provide for yourself, care where no one else could. Armitage could have that handsome brunette, and Gwen could have the kind Mary, and you could have yourself, there was nothing wrong with that.

With the tub filled, you shut off all the lights, encased in darkness. Carefully, you shed your clothes, letting them pool on the floor at your feet, before taking a few steps into the tub and situating yourself in the nearly too-hot water. You close your eyes even though you don’t need to, you don’t, not with the lights off, every sunbeam sealed away.

It’s a beautiful familiarity, floating there in the dark.

It feels like you’re supposed to be there, like this is the world you belong in. Not the desert, not America, not planet Earth. In your mind’s eye, you can see the stars twinkling at you, a galaxy laid before you ready for the taking.

It pulls you, draws you in, and before you can even decide upon touching yourself, your hands slide down your body, smoothing over every curve and contour in the water. You can’t stop a smile from teasing the corners of your mouth as your body responds so quickly to your intentions.

You hadn’t had a chance to do this in a while, and the stress of the day melts away under your fingers as your legs part easily. You fit perfectly in this tub, perfectly enough that you can bend your leg in a manner that has your hips open without having to stick your foot out of the water. The shock of the air conditioning would be too jarring, you think, as you let yourself get wrapped up in it all.

You feel weightless in the bathtub, absolutely weightless, and you wonder if this is how the cosmonauts must feel, bouncing around in a vacuum of time and space.

You moan softly, as your fingers work inside of your body, sliding in and out of your pussy with care. You’re unhurried, in no rush to get yourself off. You want to savor this, savor the velvety feeling of your own pleasure. Your other hand trails back up your stomach, and you cup a breast in your palm, giving it a squeeze that has you moaning a little louder, your fingers teasing at your nipple and clit at the same time.

Your breath comes a little faster as you stroke your walls, finding a rhythm that has your hips lifting into your hand, has your thighs trembling. Everything feels a million miles away, everything aside from the curling heat that builds in the pit of your stomach, that blooms through you.

You bite at your lip, your cheeks, groans and moans and pants and gasps filling the vast expanse of inky blackness all around you.

You grin, because though you are not asleep, the familiar glow of red light behind your eyelids beckons you, and your pussy throbs for it. You can’t suppress a moan, so pleased, that the dream is returning to you, that familiar welcoming light that you want so badly to walk towards.

It’s just out of reach, and you cling to it, cling to the vision of it.

In your mind, ribbons of red silk wind around your hands once more, but this time, they don’t pull you forward over a threshold into the unknown. No, instead they focus their attention on your body, tugging your hands back down to pleasure yourself, seemingly having stopped to revel in the joy of the dream returning to you once more.

You are eager to get yourself off, an orgasm would make this the most perfect way to unwind. You pinch and roll gently at your clit and your chest presses out of the water as you moan, nipples stiff and desperate for some friction.

Before you can tweak your own nipple, that invisible force caresses your flesh, sends shudders down your spine as your fingers rub and circle your pussy. You lick your lips and give yourself over to the feeling of the hand on your body. It is so confident in the way it touches you that you know it can’t be real, can’t be more than your own imagination.

When you do come, it’s such a slow build that it washes over you, peaceful and calm. It, much like the darkness in your mind, the darkness which once more begs for you to join, envelops you completely, from the top of your head all the way down to your toes which curl against the porcelain.

Your body relaxes completely in the water, water which has now began to run cool. You’re sweating, whether from the steam of the room or the orgasm you gave yourself, you’re not sure. You don’t care, you’ve got no one to impress in that moment, no one to look good for.

You ride out the bliss for as long as you can, before the reality of the world comes creeping in and your exhaustion from the day settles into your bones. You have to get out of the tub before you fall asleep there, you know. So, carefully, you open your eyes to the dark of the bathroom and unplug the drain, turn on the shower to wash and rinse off.

 Once you’ve crawled into your bed and have the sleep-mask securely over your eyes to block out the setting sun, you fall almost immediately asleep.

 The dream is different this time. Very much the same, but different.

You are walking through the stars once again, they twinkle at you, greeting you happily, as if they are just as glad to see you as you are them. You approach the edge of the universe without a hint of fear, but this time, this time there is no man on the other side. No figure, no ribbons of smoke to reach out for, no figure to greet.

Instead, there are the jumbled sounds of what you recognize as your voice, echoing words that you spoke that day.

I’ll come back…….. I’ll come back………… I’ll come back……….

Seemingly on a loop, the words come from all sides, above and below. They wrap themselves around you, but they are distorted, distorted from a lack of understanding, confusion. You don’t know how to explain it, how the feeling of your words is confused, but it’s almost as if the darkness doesn’t know what that means.

You think of him, of the man whom you gave these words.

You wonder if he had heard them, or if he had been dreaming too. You wonder what he dreams about, wonder what plagues his own mind. You wonder what his name is, what he sounds like, what jokes he likes to tell.

“I’ll come back,” You agree into the dark, promising the world around you, and everything it holds.

And you can feel the world thrumming, can feel it singing in your bones, echoing your words back to you with so much joy that you almost miss a face, half hidden behind a breathing mask, floating some million miles away.

Almost.

You smile at him, at the face which your brain has assigned the figure beyond the red veil, and though his mouth is hidden by the mask, you can tell.

You can tell he’s smiling back.

                                             -------------------

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[jamielea81]

Conversations

Chapter 2

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing

A/N: Here is chapter two! Cast members are what Disney calls its employees. Italics are internal thoughts. Tag list is open, please send an ask if you would like to be added. Likes, comments, and reblogs are wonderful.

Chapter 1

When he added you on Twitter, that was strange enough. You could reason it out that he saw your name spread through the tagged post and he did it on a whim. Or maybe he followed a lot of people. But that one was easily debunked after a quick glance at his profile showed he only followed about three hundred people. Maybe he was just friendly in that way. A quick add here and you’d be unfollowed by Thanksgiving. There was no chance he actually liked you as a person. Right?

You hit reply before you could overthink it more than you already had.

Y/N: I’m not always grumpy, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Are you guys still on vacation or back home?

When he didn’t immediately reply, you decided to put your phone away and actually go to sleep. You’d be bringing Jana coffee in the morning which meant you actually had to get up before noon.

Your alarm sounded at eight which it hadn’t done in at least a year. Since you worked mainly on assignment, you rarely went into the office until well past noon. Some days you didn’t even go in. You were a night owl, so unless there was a morning meeting you slept in. Living alone also brought less interruptions to your schedule. You’d been in your sleepy vacation style home for the last two years. Your father regularly lectured you on the importance of homeowner ship. Paying rent wasn’t doing anything to build equity. Blah. Blah. Blah. He was only looking out for your future, but between lectures about settling down and having a family, the house stuff pushed you over the top. You still weren’t sure where you wanted to end up, so buying wasn’t on the top of your priority list.

Florida really was a mixed bag. Between the retires that lived in Florida during the winter months, the tourists, the general crazies that you heard about on the national and local news each night, and those like yourself that were just trying to live your life, you never officially settled in. The ocean called to you, but the pricey lifestyle and fear of evacuating each year due to a hurricane did not. Being fifteen minutes from both the Disney and Universal parks would also be nice, but the traffic and long lines at Target were not appealing. You were currently living in a cute two-bedroom home fifteen minutes outside the parks bubble where life was a little more affordable and groceries weren’t inflated. It was still technically a vacation rental, but the owner liked the idea of having a long-term leaser. The fact that it had its own pool that you didn’t have to maintain was just an added bonus. Driving into Orlando wasn’t great, but at least you missed the bulk of rush hour by sleeping in.

You texted Jana to let her know you just pulled in to the parking lot. Balancing your laptop bag, oversized purse, and two coffees through a busy office rotunda wasn’t easy. Thank goodness for stylish flats. If you had to navigate in heels every day, you’d probably never get out of bed. God bless Jana. How she handled it, you had no idea.

The security desk knew you by name, but due to protocol, Jana actually had to sign you in. After exchanging a few good mornings, you set both cups on the desk and waited. Most of the time she was already in the lobby when you walked through the double doors. No doubt this was a form of punishment for not telling her about meeting the two boys from Boston. Not that you looked that up or anything. You totally didn’t Google anything that night when you got home. And she calls you the brat. Ten minutes later her smiling face walks out of the elevator and up to the security desk. She signs you in while you stare her down.

“Let’s go pokey,” she says before turning away from you, leaving you to carry your bags and both of your coffees.

You huff but manage anyway, making it to the waiting elevator she holds open with her hand.

“Did you know Phil’s wife just had another baby?” She shakes her head no. “Yeah, it’s their third. These are things I wouldn’t know if you didn’t take your sweet time signing me in. Coffee’s cold by the way,” you add for good measure.

“I already had some, that’s fine,” she said, one eyebrow pointed daring you to complain.

When the elevator stops on the twelfth floor, Jana gracefully exits on three inch heels, swaying her hips in the tight and posh pencil skirt with matching blazer. You get it. It’s a well-established law firm full of sharks all trying to get ahead. She exudes confidence. There are whispers of her making partner in the next year. At least that’s what Brooks has told you. Jana’s mum on the subject, not wanting to jinx or tempt fate or whatever.

You drop her coffee in the trash bin just outside the elevator doors and hurry after.

“Y/N! Nice to see you gracing us with your presence.”

Jana turns around to see Ethan’s predatory stare. You don’t mind it. Ethan’s a sheep in wolf’s clothing and has been coming on to you for the better part of a year. He’s good looking with his sandy brown hair coiffed in the front and bright green eyes. He’s up for partner as well. You know this because he tells you this at least once a week. He’s harmless and always has a kind word for you.

“Well, good morning to you too. Any word on getting partner yet?” you practically whisper. You have to give him something.

“Soon. It’ll happen.” He looks behind you and then meets your eyes again. “Here by yourself? Come to see me?” he asked.

You gesture behind him. “Nope. Just here to see my bestie.” You move past him, but turn your head to him as you do. “Have a good day, Ethan,” you reply.

Jana enters her office and closes the door after you enter. You take a seat in front of her desk as she walks around to sit behind it.

“Are you ever going to throw him a bone? Not that I want to see you with him, but it’s hard to watch sometimes,” she says picking up her phone, fingers moving quickly before setting it back down.

“Am I here to talk about Ethan? I thought I was here to beg for your forgiveness and tell you what happened,” you asked.

“Grovel first. Ethan next week,” Jana says with a smile. She taps her desk in a ‘speak now’ fashion.

Taking a quick sip of your coffee before setting it on her desk, you take a deep breath and lick your lips.

“Okay, so I found a table at Nomad, which was packed by the way. The sever was apparently pulling double duty as Mickey as she just never showed up. You know me, I was impatient and probably drew attention to myself with excessive eyerolls or whatever.”

Jana mouths “no way.”

“Anyway. Scott Evans was sitting at a couch across the aisle from my table. I didn’t know it was him until later. Apparently, I caught his attention, so he bought us both a drink and sat at my table. We chatted for a while, did a shot, no big deal.” You smirk and shrug a shoulder. Jana’s mouth is hanging open. “He somehow drags me to Everest and because they had a cast member with them, we got ushered right to the front of the line where I end up sitting next to Chris. That’s when I knew who I was with. Had no idea before that because I hadn’t talked to Chris at the bar. I thought that was the end of it until you mentioned the photo of me last night. I still hate that ride by the way.”

You down the rest of your coffee because it’s cold, but damnit if you don’t need the caffeine.

“Well, fuck. Who would ever see that coming? It’s a fun story you can tell at parties or I don’t know, to your best friend,” she said.

“Oh, I planned to tell Brooks at work,” you said with a grin.

“Wow. I’m really hurt,” Jana said while clutching her chest.

“You love me.”

“Hmph. Maybe,” Jana added.

You don’t check your Twitter account again until you get home from work. You don’t even want to utter the word Twitter or have it on your screen in case someone sees it and starts asking how you were able to sit next to a celebrity on a ride. You didn’t think anyone would have seen it anyway. No one outwardly admitted to being a die-hard Chris Evans fan at the Sentinel. At least not in the circles you ran in.

Grabbing yourself a beer from the fridge, you made your way onto your lanai. The weather had just started to become reasonable at night with temps dropping into the mid seventies after dark. Still warm, but comfortable.

Opening your Twitter app, you did indeed have a message from Scott.

Scott: I’m pretty sure you’re always sassy.

Scott: Nope, in Boston for the next week. Left the other night.

Y/N: I Hope you all had a good trip.

I mean really, what do you say to someone you just met?

You took the time to go through your follow requests, deleting every one of them as you had no idea who they were. Most likely they were only adding your because they saw that you were tagged in the picture. On the positive, Jana was smart enough to tag your personal account rather than your work account. Your personal account was one you made up in college and did not include your actual name. As hard as it is to keep your anonymity in this day and age, some things you could still keep private.

Your mail notification lit up on the app again so you clicked into.

Scott: Oh my god she’s alive. That was like a full day for you to respond to me.

Oh boy.

Y/N: Sorry. I’m trying to lay low after my Twitter kind of blew up.

Scott: Yeah, sorry about that. Didn’t see that coming.

Y/N: Not like you released the picture. If anyone is to blame, it’s the tequila.

Scott: It’s always the tequila.

 Your new formed friendship continued like that. The two of you messaging each other at odd times of the day and taking several hours to respond to one another. Scott was back in LA, putting a three hour time difference between the two of you. It wasn’t uncommon for you to wake up to see you had a message that came in at three in the morning.

It was just before midnight when you noticed you had a message from Scott.

Scott: It’s been a shit day.

It was only sent about twenty minutes earlier, which was pretty much a record for the two of you in seeing the other’s messages.

Y/N: Do you want to call me?

Crap! Why did I type that? He probably doesn’t want me to have his number. Twitter is one thing. A telephone number is too personal.

You wanted to close the app and get ready for bed, but you were worried that you’d miss a message from Scott in case he did want to talk. Not necessarily on the phone, but in direct messages. You did the only thing that made since, you walked around your house with the phone in your hand and direct messages open. This was your life now. Apparently. If it ever got out that you spent thirty minutes with your phone in your hand while brushing your teeth, combing your hair, removing your makeup, changing into pajama shorts and a tee, and prepping the coffee maker for the morning, you’d blame it on lack of sleep and the neighbor’s dog. When you were about to call it quits and crawl into bed, a message came through.

Scott: What’s your number?

So, we’re doing this.

You replied back with your number and waited. Deciding to crawl into bed in case he didn’t actually call you tonight seemed like a wise choice. The air conditioning was blasting as it always was because you needed to sleep cold, so you pulled your warm flower comforter up to your elbows and waited for a call from your acquaintance that was maybe becoming a friend.

To your surprise your phone did ring with an out of state area code. Answering it on the second ring you heard him sigh when you answered with “Hello, this is Grumpy.”

“Really? I’m the grumpy one tonight, we both can’t be,” he whined out.

“Fine. Fine. Hello, this is Sassy,” you said.

“Better,” he muttered.

“You know, I’m just going to enter you as Grumpy in my phone contacts now,” you said.

“I expect nothing less. You’ll just have to wait to see what I’m adding you as.”

“Why? Are you making a return trip to Florida so soon?” you asked.

“Nah. Maybe Miami, but I’m good on Orlando for a while. Just don’t tell my brother that.”

“And here I was going to invite you to my wedding. One less mouth to feed,” you said, him chuckling at your response. “Was even going to let you get the steak.”

“Wait. Are you really getting married?” He sounded surprised which you weren’t sure how to take.

“Do I not seem the marrying type? I know this friendship is new, but dude.”

“No. No. No. Don’t start that. I just meant that you didn’t mention anyone while we chatted. Just that you were there with friends,” he explained.

“Single as a bird. Wait, that’s not right. Free as a bird?” you laughed out.

“Got it,” he chuckled. “When you do get married, I will be attending.”

“Perfect. You’re back on the short list for steak as your entrée. Now, tell my why you’re having a shit day,” you asked.

 Two weeks had passed with you and Scott exchanging short text conversations each day. You took to calling him before you went to bed once or twice a week if you had a funny story to tell him. Eleven at night your time seemed to be the right time to catch each other. Besides, it was nice to head to dreamland with a smile on your face because Scott always had a joke.

Jana picked up on your happier mood after a week.

“What’s going on with you? And don’t say it’s nothing,” she demanded.

Picking up your pint of beer, you took a mouthful of the amber liquid before addressing her.

“So, don’t get mad.” She shook her head, resting one palm on her forehead. “Scott and I have been chatting. He’s become a real friend.”

You knew she wouldn’t be upset about you having a new friend, but you were worried she would be because you hadn’t told her right away. First you didn’t mention meeting the Evans brothers, now you were corresponding with one on the regular.

“Just like that? You meet the guy one time and now you’re friends?” she questioned.

“He DM’d me on Twitter when that ride photo came out and we just started chatting. It’s like how you and I text every day. It’s similar except I don’t see him because he doesn’t live here. It’s just nice to have a new friend,” you said shrugging your shoulders.

She laid her slender arms on the table, resting her chin on her down facing palms. “Does this mean you are replacing me?” she says with her bottom lip jutting out.

“Of course not. Did you not catch that he doesn’t live here?” Some days you couldn’t help but be a huge smartass at the expense of your friends.

Her head slumped forward even more as she let of a groan.

“Babe. You know you’re my one and only. I lub you,” you said with your lips puckering out.

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“Cah’mon, that’s it. Can you put the damn phone down for two minutes?” Chris asked.

Scott shushed him, placing his fingers in front of his lips, but eyes still locked on the phone screen in his other hand. “Give me a second,” he said.

Chris sighed and sat further back against the couch cushion in his living room. His wide stretched legs kicked out further in front of him, hitting the coffee table before pulling his feet back a bit. “Fuck. Ouch,” he muttered to himself.

Scott chuckled to himself as he typed out something before setting the phone on the cushion beside him. “Now, what do you need big brother?”

“I don’t need anything. You just seem to be more involved with your phone than the person your visiting,” he spits out, hand wildly gesturing in front of his chest.

Scott puffs out a laugh and shakes his head. He straightens up a bit and turns his phone face down. “Sorry. Truly. How’ve you been?” he asks.

“How’ve I been? Pfft. Really?” Chris asks.

Scott shakes his head in all seriousness.

“I’m fine. Just bored out of my fahckin’ mind, but fine.” Chris says, running a hand through his hair before brushing it back down. “Look, I know I said I wanted a break before starting up another project, but I just thought I’d have more goin’ on. Seems like everyone’s so busy all of a sudden. I can only get drinks with Frankie so many times before I want to check into rehab,” he said.

Scott laughed at his brother’s tantrum. “I get it. Wish I was around more. Maybe go back to Mass. Or go to Disney! M’sure I could get Y/N to meet you at Magic Kingdom,” he said.

Chris tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Who?” he asked.

“Y/N,” Scott said matter-of-factly. When the confusion didn’t wipe off Chris’ face, he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Y/N! The woman that you sat next to on Everest. The one in the ride photo.”

Realization struck Chris. “Excuse me. I didn’t remember her name,” he said.

“Ouch. I’ll have to remember not to tell her that,” he said picking up his phone to see a new message from you.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked.

Scott set his phone back down, turning his body to face Chris head on. “Huh?”

“You said you wouldn’t tell her that I didn’t remember her name,” Chris said.

Scott shrugged one shoulder, lifting up one hand in the process before plopping it back on his knee. “Yeah?”

“Wait a minute. Are you still talkin’ to her? How?” Chris asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“That picture. She got tagged in it and I happened to see it. Messaged her on there and now we talk. She’s frickin’ hilarious.”

Scott grabbed his phone again, scrolling a bit before flashing the screen to Chris. It was a picture of you with a woman next to you who had one of the overly large lollipops in her hand. Your mouth is wide open and your pretending to bite the large candy right out of her hand while she laughs in the picture.

A small smile curls up on Chris’ face but he shakes it away immediately. “Dude, you don’t know her. Ever think she’s just nice to you because of who you are?”

Scott rolls his eyes. “First off punk, she’s not like that. She’s pretty private. She didn’t know who any of us were until after you said your name on the ride. Secondly, she didn’t even ask for a photo nor did she try to keep hanging out with us after riding Everest.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Thirdly, I contacted her, not the other way around. And lastly, she’s a friend now, so just deal with it.”

Scott was right. You hadn’t behaved like most others would have.

“Fine. Whatever,” Chris said. “You can be friends with whoever you like.”

“Thanks, dad,” Scott said lamely. “Anyway, like I said, she’s great. Her Twitter blew up after that picture. She did a good job of locking her account down and ignoring comments. It’s hard to be pictured with the likes of you.” Chris chuckled and shook his head. “Smart that her handle isn’t actually her name. Crappy that her friend tagged her, but at least she didn’t tag her work one. Like I said, she’s a pretty private person, so she didn’t like the attention.”

Chris nodded his head. “Yeah. Glad it wasn’t worse for her. Think I should apologize?”

It was Scott’s turn to be shocked. His head whipping back and forth a couple of times eyeing his brother. “Okaaay. Not your fault, but maybe don’t add her on Twitter. That’ll just draw more attention. If you’re serious, I’ll give you her number,” Scott said.

“You know what? Never mind. Just tell her sorry for me.” Chris slapped his hands down on his jean clad legs before getting up and walking into the kitchen.

“Too late,” Scott called out. “I just texted you her number. Do what you want.”

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The Jonas Brothers’ concert was tomorrow night, so you were doing your best to get stuff done at the paper before heading home. You planned to sleep in extra late and get some errands done before heading to the venue. Your press pass got you into some reserved places at concerts, but it didn’t get you an interview. While you had been writing and covering entertainment for years, you were mostly known for theme park and tourism coverage in Florida. So, yes you could always land an interview with a Disney Parks or Universal Studios park executive, but other doors in entertainment weren’t flying open.

Grabbing your purse and zip file, you shut down your computer and pushed in your chair. Your phone dinged with a text message. It was probably Jana asking you to get her a t-shirt at the concert tomorrow. Fancy attorney or not, your friend loved a concert tee.

Once you arrived home, you put a frozen meal in the microwave and changed into a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt. Grabbing your phone out of your bag, you took a seat sat at your kitchen bar top to wait for your meal to be done. Opening your texts, you saw a new one from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey Y/N, this is Chris. Scott gave me your number.

Unknown Number: Evans

Unknow Number: Should have typed that the first time. Just wanted to say I’m sorry that ride photo got out.

You dropped your phone out of your hand. It hit the quartz countertop hard which jolted you out of your daze.

“What?!” you yelled into your empty home.

It was crazy enough when Scott messaged you, but the fact that the two of you had drank together made this whole friendship make a tiny bit of sense. But Chris now? This was just not real. And it made you feel weird. On one hand it was nice that he reached out even though it wasn’t his fault at all. One the other hand, was this it? The one text and then you move on?

The microwave beeped at your harshly indicating your meal was done. Leaving your phone on the countertop, you moved to grab your food, picking up the hot plate with a potholder. You made your way into the living room, setting the potholder and plate on your lap. You picked up the remote for the TV, flipping through the channels and settling on The Golden Girls. Maybe a little Rose and Dorothy banter could settle your mind.

This was silly. You were going to text him back. Of course, you were going to text him back. You weren’t a rude person. This whole exchange didn’t have to mean anything. This would be a one and done conversation and to Chris you would go on being nothing more than Scott’s friend.

After scarfing down your cheese ravioli, you made your way back to the kitchen to clean up. You eyed the phone on the counter where you left it. You quickly scooped it up and plopped yourself back on the couch, opening Chris’ text again before you could change your mind.

Y/N: Thank you for reaching out, but that photo getting released was not your fault at all. I appreciate the gesture though.

You threw your head back against your couch cushion and groaned. Why am I responding like it’s a work e-mail?

You shot Jana a text to get your mind off of the message you just sent Chris.

Y/N: What size Jonas Brothers shirt am I picking up for you?

Your phone buzzed in your hand before you even had the chance to set it down, but it wasn’t Jana responding. Clicking the back arrow, you saw that Chris had responded.

Wait, he responded? Already? And at all?

Chris: I still feel bad that you were dragged into it.

Chris: Hope I’m not interrupting a Friday night out.

You chewed your bottom lip, trying to think of how to respond. Should you tell the truth that your life is pretty lame and you’re watching The Golden Girls? Did Scott talk about you to Chris? Maybe it was best not to lie.

Y/N: Just hanging out with my friends Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose.

Y/N: You’re actually saving me from another long drawn out story about Rose’s hometown of St. Olaf Minnesota.

Chris: I’m surprised your friend Blanche is home on a Friday night.

Y/N: Oh, you know Blanche? Is this going to become awkward?

Chris: 😂😂😂

Chapter 3

Tag list: @mustangshelby04 @bellaireland1981 @carolina-thiell @sullyosully @straightforwardly​ @torntaltos​ @denise1605​ @mcuclintasha​ @southerngracela​ @iam-cj @trynnabemultifandom​ @chrisevansforever-blog​ @kelbabyblue​ @broadwayandnetflix​ @kyjey​ @thevelvetseries​ @i-just-feel-like​ @daddieslittlefangirl​ @stankface​ @denisemarieangelina​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​ @whymalu​ @the-doctors-fallen-angel​ @mariswritingforfun​ @tessabb7​ @hista-girl​ @tanelle83​ @pinknerdpanda​ @allaboutthebooz​ @estillion14​ @panicfob​ @patzammit​ @heartislubbingdubbing​ @collinsstanharbour​ @twittytelly​ @thefandomzoneisdangerous​ @linki-locks11​ @mywinterwolf​ @ab-baybay​ @rda1989​ @impalaimages​ @jesseswartzwelder​ @rainbowkisses31​

[bri-notthecheese]

Tagged by @connerluthorkent​ ! Thank you so much my dear!! <3 <3 

Pick 10 ships without reading the questions.

1) Nygmobblepot (Edward Nygma x Oswald Cobblepot - Gotham)

2) Mergana (Merlin x Morgana - BBC’s Merlin)

3) Handers (M!Hawke x Anders - Dragon Age 2)

4) Korrasami (Korra x Asami - Legend of Korra)

5) Chlodine (Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross- Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

6) Midna x Link (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)

7) Solas x Lavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

8) Hannigram (Hannibal Lector x Will Graham - Hannibal)

9) Cassarric (Cassandra Pentaghast x Varric Tethras - Dragon Age)

10)  MakoHaru (Makoto Tachibana x Haruka Nanase - Free! Iwatobi Swim Club)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Oh man...that was soooooo long ago.  I played Twilight Princess for the first time when I was about 12 I think, so Midna x Link is the oldest ship on here. But I think I started shipping it after the first third of the game when Midna tries to protect you and nearly sacrifices her life because of it. You get this section where you have to sprint back for help as a wolf with her on your back in the rain as she’s dying and “Midna’s Lament” plays in the back and it was the first time I really felt myself get so worried for a video game character. And after that, she’s a lot more caring towards Link and you can see them grow closer and closer as the game progresses.

2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Merlin x Morgana was the reason I started writing fanfiction actually <3 And I have read quite a lot! 

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?

They have not actually!

4. If 7 were to suddenly break-up today, what would your reaction be?

OUCH™. This question came for my life a lil bit. Ow :(

*SPOILERS* But Solas does fucking break up with you in the game regardless of what you do and we’re basically doomed to face our lover and try to stop him before he destroys the world in the next game. That route/relationship is known as Solavellan Hell. Worst/best? part is that he still loves you and you him. But as for my reaction? Despite knowing it was going to happen somehow, I still sobbed and felt like I’d gotten broken up with in real life. BioWare really knows how to hurt us.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Strap in. I’ve only been into Nygmobblepot for almost exactly a year at this point and I can’t remember being *this* attached to a ship like this for a long time. Part of why it lingers in my mind is because there’s still that slight feeling of disappointment that they were so close to being explicitly canon on screen but homophobia got in the way, and yet they really are still canon in all but sharing a kiss and explicitly stating their mutual romantic intent. These two have checked off almost every box in regards to tropes because they went from strangers to friends to almost lovers to enemies to tentative allies back to friends with their mutual feelings being pretty transparent under the surface. There’s so much to play with in regards to story because you can have your pick of dynamics depending what season it’s set in and the creators in this fandom are next-level. They’re two people that are continuously ostracized from everyone around them and they consider each other their best friend, something neither of which has had before. They’re weird and pretty nasty people, but somehow are canonly so Soft™ when they’re around each other (unless they’re enemies and then helloooooo sexual tension). Both have said in so many words ‘I love you’ to the other and have been beaten, tortured, and thrown their lives on the line to protect the other. They’re stylish evil villains in love with an adorable height difference and their incredible chemistry really makes it impossible not to root for them.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Funny! They do have serious moments, but since they are both companions (and don’t have an *actual* side romance) they’re mostly there for humorous banter when you have them both around.

7. Out of all of the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

That is really hard. I feel like it might be a tie between both sets of Murder Husbands: Nygmobblepot and Hannigram.

8. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Again, I think I might say Nygmobblepot and Hannigram.

9. How many times have you read/watched 8’s fandom?

Twice! I watched the show as it aired and then I rewatched it when my best friend was getting into it!

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

MakoHaru! They’ve been best friends since childhood <3

11. How many times, if ever, has 2 broken up? 

Damn all the painful questions keep coming for the doomed ships. So, Merlin and Morgana have never officially been together EVEN THOUGH THE WRITERS GAVE US THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT HOW THEY WERE EACH OTHER’S *DESTINY* AND DOOM and yadda yada. But while Merthur is the most popular ship in this fandom, I’ll always have a special place for Mergana because they  could have been something really special had the writers not made stupid decisions and had him not tell her about his magic. (this show in general makes me so bitter lmao) But they were really great friends in the beginning and him poisoning her would probably uhhh be the breakup and then it just got worse from there :(

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Definitely 2 because they both have incredibly powerful magic. 

13. Did 5 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

They are in the early stages of their partnership ;) The game takes place over the course of 24 hours so they aren’t quite there yet, but I doubt they’d hide it once they did get together. 

14. Is 4 still together?

Yes they are!!! And I have all their graphic novels thus far to keep getting all of that good Korrasami content <3 

15. Is 3 canon?

Yes it is, in my world state at least. They broke up for about half a year after the events of the second game but have been together ever since and Hawke gets to talk about his bae when you meet him in the third game ^_^ 

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Uhhhhhhh there’s like 3 people in this list that are ‘the most powerful magical being in their universe’ so. It’d be down to Merlin/Morgana, Korra/Asami, and Lavellan/Solas. I feel like due to the fact that neither favor underhanded means typically, Korra/Asami would be out. But Merlin, Morgana, and Solas are real bastards so it might be down to raw power mixed with what sabotage is laid out. 

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 10’s ship?

Not really, everyone in universe kinda knows they’re a thing. 

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

This is like my fourth tie but it’s gonna be between Nygmobblepot and Mergana. Nygmobs because they’re meant for each and have said so. And I’m currently obsessed. Mergana because it was one of my very first ships and even if it still ended tragically, I’ll always mourn the boatloads of potential they had for some really intriguing stuff between the two of them and never touched any of it.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 1’s tumblr page?

Thankfully I’ve calmed from when I first got into it but I generally have a daily check on here and AO3 <3 

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she´d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Well since Mergana is DEFINITELY broken up forever, I’ll pick that one. 

This was SO FUN!!! Thank you so much again for tagging me!!! <3 <3 <3 Tagging @midnightanddiamonds​, @bisexualmoron​ @wicked-eyes-and-wicked-hearts​ @kessilover​ @jesscoot​ if you’d like to do it and anyone else who’d like to try!

[lucyreviewcy]

Dear John: A love letter to the John Wick Movies

Let me start by saying I am having a John Wick moment, and just an all-round Keanu moment. Occasionally, when I’m at a certain level of stress and/or boredom, my brain will default to thinking about one subject. At the moment that subject is the powerhouse which is Keanu Reeves.

I could go into detail about all the reasons, both psychologically and cinematically for this Keanu phenomenon(keanomenon), but instead I want to tell you about why I love the John Wick movies specifically.

Let’s start with the first movie, John Wick. I first saw this movie in the wrong state of mind. Recently, I watched Movies with Mikey’s review and decided I needed to re-watch John Wick in a better mood. What I hadn’t realised the first time round is just how perfect and self-contained this movie is. In total isolation from the sequels, John Wick tells a simple revenge story clearly and concisely. Just like the titular character, John Wick doesn’t fuck around. The exposition isn’t clunky; you’re told very clearly who everyone is and why they matter. There’s a quick “context montage” explaining Wick’s motivation, and for the emphasis of important lines, subtitles appear on screen to make sure you don’t miss anything. This is one of the things I love about John Wick movies: director Chad Stahelski is not afraid to tell the audience what is going on. A great example of this is the scene in mob nightclub The Red Circle – a scene that is visually busy and potentially confusing for viewers who are tired and just wanted some Keanu goodness to make their bad day better.  

This scene comes out of the screen with blue and red hands and holds your attention in a way that is unforgettably stylish. The red and blue in the early “Pool Party” segment of the scene give way to a chaotic mix of purple and green in the club, with flashes of harsh white light when we see Iosef (Wick’s ultimate target in this film, played by king of the fictional assholes Alfie Allen.) Even though the club scene is crowded, Reeves’ eyeline is used to tell us that Wick will not harm civilians, as his gaze searches for and locates the mobsters he’s targeting.

This is combined with top quality sound design. We’re all used to soundtrack dissonance after Guardians of the Galaxy rammed it firmly down the throat of all movies everywhere. It’s refreshing to see music used in a way that simply complements the action. Soft, electro-pop is combined with the stealthy, cat-like killings in the pool area, giving way to loud bass driven club music in (you guessed it) the club. Sound designer Alan Rankin doesn’t let the music mask the violence of the scene, we hear the pained grunts of dispatched henchmen, gunshots puncture the music with gay abandon – the sound design is unflinching, you can’t escape from the action.

These elements come together to create an audiovisual experience that is completely arresting. Reeves creates a character that, in spite of being incredibly violent, is somehow utterly likable. John Wick isn’t complicated; he is a straightforward character with a straightforward motivation. The simplicity of his character is so aggressively compelling you can’t help but root for him. He’s also not infallible. He falls over. He has to reload at awkward moments. When he gets hit, he bruises and when he gets cut he bleeds. Even though by the time you’re halfway through John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum you get the idea that this man has something akin to superhuman strength and magic steel bones, Wick is a far more human action hero than we are usually presented with. This combines with the fact that despite how graceful he looked in the Matrix, Keanu Reeves’ limbs are just a little too long for his body. This results in moments that are almost comically flail-esque, but which endear him to the audience all the more. Just like Wick’s motivation, the message of the movie is simple: look, he’s got a funny run and he’s sad about his dog – root for this guy.

I also can’t write about John Wick without mentioning the late Michael Nyqvist’s incredible performance as mob boss Viggo. As soon as Viggo hears what his son has done, and who he’s done it to – he knows John Wick is coming for him, and he knows he won’t survive, but he has to protect his family. Viggo goes through the motions of protecting Iosef, and as the movie goes on, becomes more physically crumpled. By the final act, he’s laughing as Wick arrives to dispatch him to the underworld. Viggo’s hopelessness is the perfect way to cement Wick’s character as an unstoppable force, the grim reaper of organized crime.

John Wick is a perfect film, and the sequels were never going to be able to compete. That doesn’t mean they’re bad, just different. What I love about Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 – Parabellum is that they almost feel like fan fiction about the character of John Wick. These films, while more chaotic and plot-heavy than the first installment, are clearly made with love by a team who want to work together. Reeves is having the best time playing an unstoppable assassin who just wants to get home to his damn dog, while Director and ex-stuntman Stahelski is putting together action sequences that are the stuff of dreams. The pencil scene in Chapter 2 or the library fight which opens Chapter 3: these films are packed with mad-cap ideas that verge on slapstick, but somehow work perfectly in the universe the films have created. No potential stunt set-up is left unresolved. As soon as you see a series of glass cases full of glass skulls in Chapter 3 you think “Sure would be a shame if someone threw Keanu Reeves through one of those glass cases full of glass skulls”, and the film does not disappoint. This is not Chekov’s gun; this is Chekov’s whole gosh-darned armoury.

These films have action, compelling characters, bizarre aesthetic choices that somehow totally work (I’m looking at you, random control room full of tattooed vintage-styled ladies), and a surprising amount of humour. The dialogue isn’t ground-breaking, but Stahelski has created fight scenes with genuine laughs in, and the odd excellent one-liner. What makes the sequels so enjoyable is that everyone involved seems to be having a great time, Ian McShane is in his element as top-cat Winston, while Halle Berry kicks more ass in her brief Wick appearance than she did in all of the X-Men movies put together.

Keanu Reeves said it best when discussing his horseback fight sequence in Chapter 3: “That’s why we want to go to the movies, to see the fantastical.”

[historical-trash]

The Arcana cast with a modern lifestyle

Asra: Lives in an old friend's house, somehow never needs to pay for taxes. He works in an organic megashop that sells from perfumes to herbs to food to even small wicca trinkets. His dress style is very hipster and baggy with a colour pallette of whites, pinks and violets. Faust is his roomate and is usually fond of friends staying over. Often the house smells like incense and when you enter, it's kinda like a hotbox of enlightenment and possible death from all the incense smoke.

Julian: Lives in a run down small flat in a bustling city, it is very cheap but looks pretty ready to collapse. The rooms are painted over in a smooth red and black theme with brown furniture to hide the fact the infrastructure is shit. Julian works part time as a pharmacist assistant and studies in university to get his bachelor's degree and medical certificate as a general practicioner. His fashion style is more grunge and sleek with a mix of gothic. Mazelinka lives actually across from him and always makes sure he eats or has lunch.

Nadia: has her own luxurious house, fancy pool, has people clean and do chores for her. She lives the luxury of a lifetime. She doesn't require to work, because her family pays for almost everything, but she does sometimes work voluntarily at a horse ranch, where she grooms, cleans, feeds and rides horses. Also Chandra has her own section in the house. Nadia's fashion sense remains pretty much the same. She likes fancy, stylish clothes. Her hair will always be in a different style and she always rocks it.

Portia: Lives in a small house afew meters away from Nadia's estate. She works as the cleaning lady but mostly does heavy duty work. Her house is simple and very homely, smells always like orange, musk and beer but she loves the vibe. Pepi is usually waiting for her at the porch when she comes back. Her fashion sense is casual yet practical. So she often wears genie pants with a nice white blouse and rocks a sweet bandana. She always looks like she wears the same outfit though.

Lucio: The annoying roomate that comes in and out of Nadia's house. He does have his own luxurious house that looks almost like Nadias, don't get me wrong, but there's only so much fun you can have when you have a toilet made out of solid gold. He's always the one that takes out Nadia to go fuck shit up. If he wants to go ride a horse and jump off a cliffside while riding the horse and fall into the water below, he will do it. His parents can afford it. His fashion however is sleek, and kinda looks like your average fuckboy.

Valerius: his house looks like a bloody fucking castle. Everything is old school and god have mercy if you want to watch TV. He gets all the updates on drama from facebook. He works as a wine taste tester and manufacturer so he has a cellar for that. His fashion sense is sleek suits. His residence always smells like wine, and a faint smell of roast pulled beef. He hires professional chefs to cook him food that will go well with whatever wine he's tasting on the day.

Vlastomil: His house is an absolute dreck. He rarely cleans the dust forming and only 2 rooms are ever used. His bedroom, which is an ugly grey in all hues, and his worm room. Which is also his job. He works as an entomologist but specifically works with worms, caterpillars, centipedes etc. His fashion sense is very bland, simple dark grey jeans and a light grey button shirt with a black overcoat that covers him up to the ankles. And he wears a navy blue beret.

Muriel: Asras house used to belong to him, but when he got the chance, he moved out into the woodlands to live a more secluded life. He enjoys his time in the woods, lumbering wood and sustaining himself. His house is a small cabin filled with trinkets, herbs and some food. He dresses in dark green flannels and jeans with ripped knees, he also wears a black bomber jacket over the flannel. He has a pet German Shepherd that was bred with a wolf so he has some company, which is really the only one he prefers. Muriels cabin is warm and cozy, it often smells like the herbs he has in it at the time and the strong lingering smell of myrrh and musk sticks.

Terry: He lives a very nomadic lifestyle. He's got a car and a caravan and he just travels wherever he can. He works mainly as a street musician and an artist, it gets him enough money to sustain himself, but he wouldn't care if he had nothing either. He always has contact with his friends and his family is willing to have him back at their village, but he likes his free spirited life. His caravan always smells tropical, with a side of a forest and seaside. His car is a simple Citroën he modded himself with abit of help and he painted custom flame designs. His fashion sense is simple. Usually wearing loose button shirts or tank tops with his favorite bands or blank and yoga pants with pockets bigger than my future. He also walks barefoot.

Add your MC and their modern lifestyle!

[jkfortunekookies]

BITE ME!

Fanart made by @fetus-jungkook / @ohneul-eun (Do not edit/ Repost) : My amazing friend Haneul made this fanart for my story. Please support her art . She’s really talented.

Genre : Vampire au!,Fluff,romance,comedy,implied-smut, implicit/explicit language,sexual innuendos  Pairing: Jungkook x reader Length: 12 258  words

Summary : Jungkook, a softhearted player who’s majoring in the Earth sciences, finds himself oddly getting attracted to a strange girl who’s attending the same University as him. Her purity is what attracted him, but what if she was something far more dangerous than what he thought?

Tell me your thoughts in the ask box/ comments !!

© Jkfortunekookies

Do NOT repost , plagiarize or translate. I’m watching YOU.

You sighed for the third time as you saw him making his way to you. You knew him too well and his tendency to never leave you alone. Whether it was on campus or even at work, he always had his way to find your whereabouts. Why was he so obsessed with you? He somehow always had the indecency to follow you just to nag you about anything. Stalker, perhaps? Even a stalker wouldn’t be as annoying as him. Hell, even stalkers weren’t as specialized as him when it came to finding where you were.

This time, he managed to find you through a crowd, in a club. God only knows how he always knew where you were. It was as if he had a GPS stuck onto you 24/7. You could call him a stalker but the term stalker might have been a bit too much to describe the relationship you shared. At least stalkers make sure to not get noticed when they follow someone, but he, on the contrary, tried everything to get your attention. You always gave him a reason to end up following you.

You roll your eyes as you feel his presence right next to you. His toned back leaning against the wall in his usual stylish way. A hint of his masculine cologne hit your nostrils right away as the scent of his apple flavored hair conditioner hit you right in the feels. You might have hated him, but you were addicted to his scent, that was for sure.

You didn’t have to turn around to be already aware of the fact that he was wearing that black leather jacket he was so obsessed with. The peculiar scent of leather mixed with the manly scent of his aftershave only made shivers run down your spine. His raven luscious hair, looking so soft, you caught yourself fantasizing about raking your fingers through it. His dark piercing orbs, always ready to make your knees weaken at their gorgeous sight. You knew he was eyeing you up and down. It wasn’t long before every nerve on your body felt threatened when he suddenly opened his mouth to shout something you weren’t expecting.

“OH SWEET PAPRIKA. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THAT OUTFIT?!”  His manly voice rang in your ears  

You hold onto your heart for mental support after hearing the unusual sound of his masculine voice, being so loud. It wasn’t long before the boy made his following comment.

“Did you dig through my grandmother’s outfits before showing up at the club? What the  F*ck, are you wearing? This is a CRIME AGAINST FASHION” His eyes rounded

You restrain yourself from punching his perfect face as you snap your head around to stare at him with that perplexed gaze. The fact that he was shouting at you made no sense. You were ready to take your claws out and fight him and his humongous Jeon Cena body built. His hair was disgustingly perfect as it usually was. Revealing that shining forehead that you hated so much.

“Oh, hi Jungkook, How are you, Jungkook? I’m doing very good, Jungkook, Thank you Jungkook.” you replied sarcastically “This is how people start off a conversation, you son of a worthless plant” you scoffed

The boy let out a small chuckle as he almost scoffed at your response. Even the way he chuckled had an effect on you. It made those foreign vibrations run through your veins.

“Yeah, nature gave birth to me. I’m so organic, anyone would want me inside their bodies” Jungkook replied, giving you his infamous smirk

“Look at you going” you stared at him in disgust “I can’t believe you’re majoring in earth sciences” you shake your head “That’s not even the point! Why are you doing here, again? Can you please take a hint and stop following me like a stalker, I’m tired of seeing you everywhere I go”

“You wish I had that much free time” he scoffed “As if I have anything better to do than to spend time bonding with a boring girl who dresses like my old aunt Clara” he rolled his eyes “ Even aunt Clara dresses better than you, at least she’s 65 and she actually had a husband” he eyed you in an arrogant manner

“Then, why do you always happen to be somewhere around me? I wouldn’t even be surprised to find you in my closet, after finding you here”

“Look here woman, the club is my place to hang out. You’re the one who isn’t supposed to be here. The last time I recalled, you were the one who refused going out after 10 pm for god knows why” he rolled his eyes “ Maybe you finally got your wakeup call and realized that the fun really starts after 11 pm? So stop trying to paint me into something I’m not. I may have had a lot of girls but I don’t chase random women. Especially not if they’re you. So for the record, you’re the one who’s stalking me. Mother Nature is watching and she knows it.”

“I hate you and your green ways to paint my accusations” you glare at him

“Why do you hate the nature so much?” he quirks up a brow “Don’t hate on the beautiful green beings! What did they ever do to you?”

“I wonder if you like the nature because it provides you all the drugs you’ve been consuming”

“Might as well move to Canada if I really wanted that” he commented “I only eat vitamins, for your information and they’re really helpful. At least I don’t look like I’m on verge of a midlife crisis like you are.”

“What about all the girls you slept with? I bet that had something to do with nature as well.” You smirked back at him

“Of course it does, it’s called sexual intercourse, and it happens when two individuals feel sexually attracted to each other and want to get rid of their urges and frustrations, but I guess you don’t know how sex works either?” he stared at his glass of wine “No matter how you perceive it, everything has to do with nature and beautiful green beings”

“Whoa, so you had a kink for Shrek all this time” you chuckled “ I never thought you’d be into bestiality, Jungkook”

“The only beast here is me and you know why” he winked at you

“Oh … so your dick is green?” you cringed your face before staring at his crotch area “Is it because you’ve been eating so many vegetables? Or because you f*cked too many girls majoring in earth sciences? Oh wait, I have a better one!” you gasped “Is it because you f*cked too many girls in the wild forest?”

He froze a few seconds, eyes glued to you before slowly bringing up his gigantic palms together to clap in celebration at your cleverness. You were a very straightforward specimen, as he’d usually call you, and he seemed to love your responses to his acts.

“Brilliant! Y/N, you never fail to impress me with your amazing theories” he chuckled before his facial expression became serious again “Of course, what a clever way to say it. My dick is ORGANIC” he emphasizes the word before grabbing his drink and swirling the cup with his fingers

“I pray day and night for this planet to be saved and you’re going to pollute it with your dick” you pout while staring at the shiny floor

“You must really want my dick” He chuckled, harboring his sexiest grin

Can grins be sexy? Was there such a thing? Could it even exist? Jungkook, the earth sciences Major God could make anything come true. You gulped on your saliva as you heard those words easily leave his sinful lips. This man was the definition of sinning behind an innocent façade. He seemed so innocent at first sight, yet he was fooling everyone with his sweet smiles. He was the kind of kid who smiled while cursing. As if cussing wasn’t already much, Jungkook had a history of several issues surrounding women and other doubtful happenings that made you want to stay away from him.

There was a reason why you were alone in a club, dressed like Jungkook’s grand aunt Clara, in the first place. Jungkook never failed to make you choke on your breath with his flirty yet naughty comebacks. The boy was so despicable and cocky that you wanted to smack his face with his own dick.

“You wish anyone would want your wrinkly overused dick” you rolled your eyes

“Overused? Did you mean experienced perhaps? My dick knows its way to the right spot” he raised his infamous brow “You wish I could hit that spot” he shot you a side smirk before chugging down his cocktail

You hit your fist on your chest in response as you felt the heat invading your cheeks. It wasn’t the drinks that were making you feel that way, nor was it Jungkook’s sexual comments. Anyone would have had failed to notice it, but Jungkook’s body warmth and bloodstream were what caused you to heat up. His sexual comments weren’t helpful either. The real question here: how could you feel his warmth in the first place?

You slowly grazed your sharp canine over your bottom lip, before you caught yourself in the act. Your fangs were started to slowly appear as they usually did around this hour of the night.

F*ck! Why am I such a klutz?! What if he noticed my teeth! you scolded yourself

“Are you blushing? You’re so cute.” he chuckled “I was obviously messing around to get a reaction, seems like it worked pretty well” he clicked his tongue

“The day you hit that spot is the day I’ll hit your face” you glare at him before turning your body to the other side

“Why are you so serious?” he nudged your arm with his warm bicep

“D-Don’t touch me!” you grabbed your hair to hide the bottom of your face, to avoid any form of eye contact between him and your fangs

“Relax, grandma! I’m not the kind of guy who bites on the first date. Not that this is even a date but a coincidental meeting.” He gave you an adorable smile “Now that I’m here, I might just as well give you some advice as your best wingman.”

“Wingman?” you raised a brow

“I’m an angel after all” Jungkook nodded to himself

“You mean Seagull” you laughed at your own joke “Baby, you’re still from Busan, no matter how much you try to deny it”

“I never denied I was from Busan. Seagulls ARE SEXY AND ORGANIC!” He replied in a sassy tone “and how did you know I like it when girls call me baby?” he raised a brow “Did some research perhaps? Because you love me” he clicked his tongue playfully

“In your wildest dreams,” you laughed heartlessly “As if I’d ever spare a glance at you or be interested in you”

“Ouch, was that your way to shatter my confidence in three seconds? Because it almost worked” he clenched his hand against his chest

“Aww, is Jungkookie hurting?” you said in a childish tone “Need a kiss and a hug to heal your wounds too? What a good boy you are!”

“Well, maybe I do feel hurt from time to time, just like everyone else and sex can’t solve everything” he muttered under his breath in a sad tone

“What?” you blinked as you caught on what he said

“I was just saying…” he cleared his throat before faking an excuse “I love kisses and hugs. Just like you said it, I slept with everyone after all!” He replied sarcastically “You’re always right, grandma” he nudged your arm

“You’re so full of yourself. Organic Boy” you stare at him from the corner of your eyes

“ Yeah, maybe I really am” he kept his act on “Or maybe I’m not full of myself and I’m just stating facts” Jungkook replied seductively   “I have the face of an angel, but I’m called the Lucifer of temptation in bed.”

The word Temptation set you off guard as you felt your lips pulsating with desire. Jungkook fanned himself with his phone as he made a comment about feeling too hot. You stared at him as he slowly removed his jacket, exposing his arms. His toned biceps were perfectly on your radar. You almost licked your bottom lip.

“I rock very hard in bed, for your information” he nodded to himself “Organic things are good for energy” he winked at you, trying to mask his previous heartbroken words

“Too much information, Jungkook” you cringed your face “Why, can’t we have a normal conversation without having you talking about your sex life every second?” you internally fanned yourself

“Because you’re not getting laid and I enjoy rubbing in your face how enjoyable sex can be” he nodded

“Wow, how mature Jungkook” you clapped your hands “Well sorry to disappoint you, sir, but I don’t feel the need to get laid”

“Well, that’s tragic.” Jungkook eyes rounded

“Thirsty much?” you tilted your head to stare at him

Thirsty my butt, I’m the one who’s craving every inch of him, you internally screamed as you felt his amazing scent spread around you again

“Planning to become a nun anytime soon?” he commented

“Yeah, I’d rather become a nun and pray God to exterminate you from this earth” you nodded

“You’re so mean” he pouted as you choked internally, watching his pink delicious lips jut out cutely “I wonder how it’d be to get laid with a nun though?” he tapped his chin

“JUNGKOOK” you slap his arm “For the love of Jesus, can you stop talking about getting laid” you rolled your eyes trying to fight the temptation

The fact that this specific human was tempting into the wrong at such a late hour of the night - when you were on the verge to transform - was making this Friday a hundred times worse. You tried your best to avoid Jungkook at all costs, but there was no way out of this mess. Once Jungkook targets you, he sticks to you.

“What?! “ his eyes rounded “ I’m trying to tell you that it’s not late for you to get some, even if you become a nun” he adds “ I’m always down to f*ck in a church If you want to roll that way”

“What an unholy son of a bitch” your jaw dropped ten floors down

“I was always that way” he smiles at you “Doing it in a church sounds pretty interesting though” he nods

“YOU’RE INSANE” you cup your mouth

“Not as insane as your outfit” He stares at your knit sweater “Look at me Grandma, this is a club, not a place where you meet your friends to play bingo”

“Why are you so concerned about my fashion anyway?” you scowl “I could wear a trash bag if I want to and it still won’t be of your business”

“You dress like a homeless man at school and you dress like a grandma, at the club” Jungkook sighed “Girl, I’m saying this for your benefit. Why are you hiding all of your best assets?”

If all jokes were to be put aside, Jungkook was indeed very right. The assets, or should we say the unrealistic glistering smooth skin you were hiding under those ten layers of clothes, were a way to avoid the sun. You even took those special red pills every morning to ensure that you wouldn’t vanish into thin air while attending morning classes. Living in the human world was a challenge you were willing to take, and it was the same reason as to why you always stayed away from people. The fear of being discovered and treated like a monster was your biggest weakness.

“There’s no assets to hide, jerk”

“Oh~ I get it” he nodded “You want to keep them hidden so that I can be the only one to see them” he replied with a proud look on his face but it wasn’t long before he felt your hand slap the back of his perfectly round head “ OUCH!!” he squeaked

You unconsciously cover your chest in protection

“Stop perving on a girl you just called grandma AND TELL ME WHY YOU’RE HERE” you glared “I hate your face”

“My face is too handsome for you to handle?” he ran his tongue across his teeth in a sexy manner

His indecent tongue made you swirl your own tongue inside your mouth and poke your cheek from the inside. An act that boys usually do when they’re jealous, but it had a different meaning when you did it.

You tried avoiding his face at all costs. You could smell his addictive scent every time he took a breath or a sip of his drink as you tried fighting against the temptation. Your biggest problem was your transformation. The transformation would usually take from two to three hours as you’d be in your full form after the clock hits 12:00. It was as sad as Cinderella’s story, yet the difference was that you weren’t a poor girl dressed as a princess, you were a monster hiding behind an innocent face.

“Ew, SIR. Keep that tongue in your mouth” you replied nonchalantly  

Jungkook stared at you for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders and rubbing his temples in frustration at the view of your outfit

“Why did you even come here in the first place if you’re not planning to dance or to get laid” he adjusted his black leather jacket on his sturdy body “I’m giving you advice as a good friend” he lowered his face to whisper in your face “You need to take advantage of this situation and expand that circle of friends.”

You blinked frantically as his breath hit your philtrum. You pressed your palm against his chest to keep a safe distance between your bodies, which was a huge mistake on your part. You could clearly feel each and every beat pulsating from his heart. Jungkook’s heart’s pace was so calming yet fueling you up with temptation. You could feel his blood so well and you could only imagine how amazing he could taste. He had that rare addictive scent that you never smelled anywhere. This was also the main reason why you always tried to avoid him.

“I’m not here to make friends.”

“Then what are you here for?” he grabs your cold wrist with his warm fingers but you wasted no time to slap his hand away “Damn girl, you’re so cold” he furrowed his brows and you panicked at his comment “You always hurt my little heart” he pouted as you felt relief hit you. He wasn’t referring to your body temperature after all.

“I came here to have an anti-social night and drink on my own” you crossed your arms over your chest

“Sounds very pitiful” Jungkook replied in a disappointed tone

“Why would you do such a thing to yourself? You have a healthy body! You should be jumping around and dancing like everyone else, yet you prefer to drown yourself in alcohol.” He grabbed your shoulders “Do you really want to die as a virgin old lady who owns 13 cats?!”

“There’s nothing bad about owning cats” you frowned at him “I have three cats at home for your information!”

“Oh, saint mother of the holy Jesus Christ.” Jungkook put his hands in a praying motion “Please help me save this child from the grandma abyss”

“No need to dramatize” you rolled your eyes, “I think you should pray to prevent your future aids”

“There’s that thing called protection” he scowled “But I guess that you never even saw a condom in your entire life”

“And who said that I was virgin?” you smirk back at him

“W-What? You’re not?” His jaw dropped as he gulped on his saliva  “You’re telling me that some guy other than me,  saw the potential in that body that you’re hiding under twelve layers?!”Jungkook stared at your ponytail and the frame of your nerdy glasses in fascination

If the truth was to be told, Jungkook may have been the f*ck boy who had girls at his feet but the main reason why he was spending so much time with you, was because he wanted to help you make more friends. The vibe you gave off compared to the previous girls he met was different. The boy grew attached to you as you tried pushing him away. He was curious about you. Maybe you weren’t like these other girls who only perceived them as a way to relieve their sexual desires. Maybe you could somehow like him for who he really was? The boy may have had given off the f*ck boy vibes you wanted to avoid at all costs, but what if he had a deeper side? What if he wasn’t the player everyone perceived him to be? What if he was seeking for love, just like everyone else?

He naturally grew fond of you as you naturally hung out around school. Not because he liked you, but because he wanted to help you. Well, that’s what he liked to pretend.

“Shocked?” you chuckled soullessly

“Who’s the bastar—uhm… I mean GUY!” he coughed

“Is it that important?” you sighed

“EXCUSE YOU, BUT it’s SUPER MEGA EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!” he scoffed “I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF DUDE TOOK AWAY VIRGIN MARY’S FIRST TIME!!! It’s something I need to know f-for science p-p-purposes …” he coughed

“Science? Are you going to integrate that shit in your future master thesis as well?” you chuckled “but Wow, Jungkook” you giggled at him and he felt his breath hitch at the tone of your girly laugh “You’re so gullible” you tapped his nose “You almost believed me”

Jungkook blinked nervously as he felt the cold tip of your index brushing against his warm nose. He never initiated any physical contact with you and this was probably the most skin to skin contact you ever initiated towards him. The sudden thrilling feeling of having your skin brush against his own made him fantasize about how it’d feel to have you in his arms. Your purity was what got to him in the first place. He was intrigued and he knew that you were hiding something.

Playboy or not, Jungkook was still vulnerable under your fingers. You might have been unaware of it, but you had Jungkook wrapped around your little finger.

“O-Oh, so you’re still v-virgin?” he gulped on his saliva

“Why are you stuttering” you chuckled

“I’m not stuttering! Pfttt” his eyes rounded in panic “and you’re out of your mind if you thought I believed your stupid lie” he rolled his eyes “You never got laid and THAT’S A FACT. I’M A SEX EXPERT” he coughed

“Sure, Sex expert who got an organic dick” you put your fingers in a quotation manner

The boy cleared his throat before striking his usual handsome pose to regain his confidence. He was a panty dropper, yet you had your ways to make him lose it momentarily. He always wanted to get a positive reaction out of you, yet you always rejected him and his organic dick. If truth was to be said, you were his new challenge.

“What about you? Does sleeping with every attractive girl you find on campus, really makes you happy?” you stare into his deep eyes

“O-Of course, I-I mean… any guy would kill to be in my position” Jungkook stuttered

“Or maybe you’re just lying to yourself?” you tilted your head

“Or maybe it’s just not of your business” you replied sternly

“Sure, then stop asking about me then” you frowned

“I can’t do such a thing” he stared at his shoes

“Why? Jungkook, I don’t get what’s your deal? You always try digging through my secrets, but when I get curious about you, it’s suddenly a completely different story!” you furrow your brows “Just tell me the truth”

“What if I actually cared about you? Would that answer your question?”

“You know as well as I know, that this option is scientifically impossible.” You avoided his eyes

“And why not?” he furrowed his brows

“You’re not the kind of guy who’d care about someone like me. You’re just blinded by the idea of entertaining yourself by annoying me” you rolled your eyes

“I’m not that heartless” he sighed “You’re having the wrong idea about me. I’m way more complicated than what you think” he sipped on his wine “

“Of course Jungkook, you’re as complicated as a girl.” You cracked a smile

“I’m amazing” he nodded “That’s more like it”

“And arrogant as well” you chuckled

“Confidence, we call it” Jungkook scowled

“It still doesn’t explain why you’re here” you stared at him

The boy suppressed a slight groan at your avidity to keep on asking him the same question since he showed up. Why didn’t you enjoy his presence? That was what always rubbed him the wrong way. He was wanted by all girls after all. How was it that you weren’t giving in to his seduction?

“To cut to the chase” he sighed before running a hand through his luscious dark hair “I heard somewhere, that you apparently have the hugest crush on that weird senior guy” he swirled his cocktail cup in his long fingers “What was his name, again? Oh yeah!” he snapped his fingers “Jung Hoseok from the Arts department” a satisfied smirk was stamped on his perfect face

You cursed as you almost choked on your drink and died on the spot at his sudden comment. No one was aware of your crush on Hoseok except your best friend Jenna. It was a one-sided crush that was meant to fade away with time and be forgotten. Jungkook always had his way to dig into information and find out some stuff that no one knew.

“F*ck, don’t tell me that Jenna told you” you raised a brow

Jenna, your one and only friend who actually knew about your real identity, simply because she was the same as you. That one friend who grew up with you, who witnessed you biting your first victim, the one who drinks blood from cherry juice boxes, just like you do. The one who buys Wine and alternate the actual wine to blood, because she thinks it’s bloody smart.

“Yeah spilled the beans after I teased her “Jungkook leaned his back on the wall in a handsome manner

It took you a few seconds to proceed the information through your brain before you understood the situation.

“D-Did you--” your jaw dropped “YOU GOT LAID WITH MY BEST FRIEND?!”

Jungkook coughed before tapping on his chest as he stared at you in puzzlement

“Laid is a big word!” Jungkook furrowed his brows

“Says the guy who f*cks a different girl every other day” you whisper to yourself

“What was that?!” Jungkook scoffed “My organic dick didn’t get near her if that’s what you want to know” he cupped your chin in his long fingers

“Organic? “You scoffed “What the f*ck is organic about your small dick? Can it feed plants? Can it save the planet? You must really love the environment a whole lot, or maybe you love your dick too much? I can’t believe you keep on calling your dick organic” you shook your head   “Can we stop talking about dicks, please?!” you facepalmed

“I didn’t get laid with your friend” Jungkook smiled “In fact, I hooked her up with one of my friends and she told me right away. Maybe you should make new loyal friends, like me for instance”

“You wish” you smiled at him sarcastically “I’d rather not hear your sexual adventures every second of my life”

“I’m a sex god who’s majoring in Earth sciences” he swirls a strand of your hair in his fingers sensually “Maybe I can rock your world and we can create a new universe together”

“Oh my lord, you even flirt with your friends?” your jaw dropped  “I hate plants” you glare at him “I hate you as well”

“Why do you hate the nature so much? Let nature do its natural process” he stared at you “Mother Nature created you for all the right reasons. You may not look like a yummy snack at the time we’re talking, but we can work on that and turn you into something sexy. Just like caterpillars turn into butterflies!”

“Why do you always have to turn into a smartass whenever I complain? Don’t you get it, Jeon Jungkook! I hate plants and vegetables” you stick out your tongue in disgust

Being a vampire, the one thing you despised the most were fruits and vegetables, the two things that you had to pretend to eat to make your entire existence more real to humans. After all, not eating would make them suspect your identity. Therefore you hated broccoli and green plants, they’d always get stuck in between your teeth and especially on your sharp fangs. You weren’t digging the whole environmental thing as it always reminded you of these awful things you had to eat when you didn’t have your daily reserve of blood in storage.

“You’re such a stingy little brat” Jungkook scoffed “Eat your vegetables to grow” he messes up your hair on purpose with his large hand

“Vegetables failed me” you commented “AND I HATE THEM” you sighed

“They failed you?” Jungkook blinked “I don’t see where they could fail you if you actually gave them a chance”

“Look Jungkook, I’m not pro-vegetarian like you are and I LOVE MEAT” you stared at him

“Yeah sure, I can understand that you like to bite onto that piece of meat” Jungkook chuckled sexily before sipping on his drink

“I-I mean, Vegetables are just not my thing” you blinked, trying to regain your cool even though you were cold enough to make Jungkook shiver if he was under your touch

“I noticed that” he raised a brow

Your eyes rounded as you felt your fangs suddenly sharpening and becoming pointier. It was only a matter of time before your eyes would change colors and your skin would start taking that shiny form it took after midnight. You stared at your watch before gulping on your saliva. 10:50 pm. it was only a matter of minutes before your true form would take over.

“I’m leaving soon” you get up from your seat

“Sit back down, baby” Jungkook grabbed your wrist “We’re not done here”

You scowled at his way to hold you back. You never asked for this life, nor did you ever asked for these vampire-like instincts to take over your body and obey the owner of the blood you craved for.

“I thought you didn’t want me to remain here and drown in alcohol, Jungkook” you stared at him “I’m actually following your advice”

“Stay a little bit with me, will you?” He caressed your wrist through the fabric that was separating you and him

“Ugh… Sure” you growled “But why do I have to stay with you?!Why am I following your orders” you sighed “I have other things to do”

“Because you love me” he poked your cheek

“D-don’t poke my face” you glare before slapping his hand away

“So stingy” Jungkook stuck out his tongue “It’s not like I tried pulling you into a kiss” he stared at the ceiling

“I’d like to see you try” you almost smirked as your vampire thirst was slowly showing up

Jungkook was awakening all of those unwanted feels through your body. Your metamorphosis was to be delayed for the night as you tried your hardest to remain in your human form, yet something about Jungkook, made you feel this sudden heat rushing through your veins. You were indeed cold as ice, but Jungkook made your body temperature rise as if you were slowly transitioning into a human, which made no sense.

Jungkook made you feel human. The fact that your transformation was happening around the same time as you were talking with jungkook, made the heat fight the cold. You were about to turn into a thirsty beast in an hour yet Jungkook was triggering all of those pulsations through your cold veins. Your vampire form was battling the fake human form you were in.

Something about Jungkook was so alluring and so seductive, that even you, as a vampire, could feel it very well. You wanted to see him try. Your inner beast wanted him to make a move yet you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You probably wanted him to pull you into a kiss, but you knew that pressing his warm lips against your cold ones, would make your true form would take over you. This was simply how it worked for vampires. Sensuality and temptation were what made vampires awaken and take their real form.

“Pardon?” Jungkook’s eyes rounded in response

“Uhm, no nothing” you nodded

“You’d like to watch me try?” Jungkook quirked up his infamous brow

“I was just joking, Organic boy” you rolled your eyes “Calm your dick for three seconds. Are you going to keep on acting like a hormonal brat?” you scoffed

“You just gave me an invitation” Jungkook stared at you “Do you expect me to ignore an open invitation like this one?” he slowly leaned closer to you

“You better not come near me!” you pointed at him with your shaky finger

“But I want to be near you” Jungkook pouted cutely as he raked a hand through his black raven luscious hair

You could smell his amazing aroma from the way he just ran a hand through his hair, you were killing yourself to keep your fangs from showing. The way he was jutting out his juicy red bottom lip only triggered up desire through your body. Your body was aching to firmly press your lips to his delicious ones. Jungkook smelled like a delicious midnight treat that you could easily bite in an instant.

This asshole!!Why did he shower with stupid apple scented shampoo?!!! I HATE HIM A2$$%$^#$^@$@

You firmly clenched your fists to not let your wildness take over you.

“Stop pouting you dumb idiot!” you replied

“I wanted a kiss” Jungkook kicked the ground cutely

“STOP ACTING CUTE!”

“But you just promised me a kiss” he gently tugged on your sleeve, giving you his puppy eyes

“I did NOT PROMISE YOU ANYTHING!”

“Come on Y/N! This isn’t fair play! You tempted me. You started the game by saying you wanted to see me try” he stepped an inch closer to your face

“I was just talking” you push his forehead with your knuckles “I wasn’t serious”

“Ah” Jungkook stepped back obviously disappointed by your response “I was looking forward to knowing how the lips of an untouched girl felt like.” He sighed in a heartbroken manner “I thought…maybe a little bit of purity could tame the bad side of me”

Purity?! Is he talking about me? I’m the danger here and you’re the victim here, Jeon Jungkook.

“Such a perverted bastard…but so f*cking poetic that I can’t even argue” you shook your head in disbelief “You really have an evil agenda where you know to say the right things in the right moments, don’t you?” you raised a brow

“My first girlfriend was older than me, so she kissed a few guys before I happened” jungkook played with his thumbs “ And the girls I hooked up with, were not that… pure either” he lowers his head in shame “ I always wondered how it could feel to be lov-- n-no! I mean…how it could feel to kiss an angel” his shiny eyes gaze into yours

“Don’t sugarcoat it, Jeon” you frowned “I know you’re trying to be seductive and it’s oddly working, but I don’t want to get involved with you like this” your cheeks turn a crimson red

“And why not?” his eyes softened “Am I that dangerous for you? I’m probably not worth the risk to give up your purity” he sipped on his wine “Wise decision. Rare, you are, but your decisions never fail to make me want you more than I did before”

“You don’t want me, Jungkook, stop being delusional! You just called me grandma earlier” you rolled your eyes “All you want is the idea of purity and it’s blinding you. What if I’m not what you think? “

“The idea of purity comes to life when it’s you… that’s why. It’s not the fact that you’re untouched, it’s your genuine personality that makes it seem that way. You’re selfless and you don’t care about what anyone else thinks.”

You soften at his sweet words. What if he was different? What if Jungkook really wanted to be a nice guy to you? Your only answer to these questions would be to avoid him. If Jungkook really did like you, then you had to protect him from your real self at all costs. Pushing him away was your one and only option.

“Maybe you just want to taint my lips, just like you did with your other hook-ups” you added

“I wouldn’t taint them! My LIPS ARE ORGANIC! ” He crossed his arms over his chest “It’d be extremely beneficial for you to kiss me!”

You facepalmed for the nth time as you heard Jungkook’s favorite word again. Organic

Oh, sweet lord…should I just bite him and leave him to die on campus? Sounds like an AMAZING IDEA.

“Yeah, so organic, you’d probably kiss your own self if you could.” You pretended to barf

“Not to brag, but I’m apparently as good kisser” the boy winked at you “I’m sure your first kiss wouldn’t go to waste with lips like mine”

“But who said my lips were untouched?” you stared back at him

Jungkook’s jaw dropped again for a few second at the scandalizing thought of imagining you kissing another man. It wasn’t long before he collected his thoughts and was ready to attack you again.

You looked at him with a perplexed gaze as he narrowed his eyes at you, by analyzing your lips. It wasn’t long before his thoughts were exposed.

“Look here, Virgin Mary, I won’t believe your lies a second-time” Jungkook pointed at you “your lips are as virgin as the olive oil Jin hyung bought last night”

“Did you just compare me to olive oil?” you raise a skeptical brow

“Yeah, because Olive oil is organ—“ he replied but you cut him off

“Organic” you mimicked him

“Exactly! Now you’re starting to sound like a decent girl “he nodded proudly before taking advantage of your dazed state to make a move  “Can we get over this and kiss now?” he slides his manly hand near your waist to pull your bodies closer

“There’s NO F*CKING WAY WE’RE KISSING” you pushed his chest

“A kiss on the cheek then!” Jungkook pleaded

“Good lord! Jungkook PLEASE BEHAVE!”

“I wanted some love” he glared at you “Forget it, I’ll go Tell Jung Hoseok that you want him in your pants”

“You better get the f*ck back here” you grab him by his collar “I don’t even like him that way” you rolled your eyes “I just thought he was sexy! That’s all!” you gulp on your saliva

“In other words, you wanted the D” Jungkook nodded

“I DID NOT!”

“She wanted the D” Jungkook nodded again “What a sad life” he sighed “Being deprived of the D as a college student at such a young age, what a poor unfortunate soul” he patted your shoulder “Too bad Hoseok’s dick isn’t that organ—“

“I might AS WELL BITE OFF YOUR DICK IF YOU SAY THE WORD ORGANIC AGAIN!” you throw your fist next to his face

“Damn, feisty” he chuckled sexily “This is getting wilder by the second you’re talking” his manly hold slides back onto your waist to firmly press your body against his “… and I’m getting into it.”

Your body melt against Jungkook’s firm holds on your sensitive waist. You could feel the thirst and the desperation slowly growing through your icy veins. Jungkook’s body was hot, to begin with, and you could feel it from far away, yet this time you could feel the heat through his body, precisely through your chest pressed against his. His heart was racing at a faster pace and you could feel his hormones playing with his level of temptation. Jungkook badly wanted you because of his delusion of kissing an untainted girl and you knew it too well. You had enough strength to push him off and bruise his face for approaching you like this, yet your own body was weakening under his touch. You liked the way he was holding you.

“Don’t t-t-touch me you perverted asshole!” you try to pry his hand from your waist, but there was nothing you could, as it was one of your weakest spots.

Jungkook smiled as he noticed the way you were defying him once again. He was relieved to hear you denying this kiss once again. It confirmed his belief. You weren’t like these other girls who only wanted him for his body. All of this was his way to get a reaction from you. The boy would never force himself on a lady and was simply acting like he was about to kiss you, to make you flustered. He knew your attraction towards him as your friend Jenna might have spilled the beans during their latest conversation.

His other hand takes a hold of your chin as he tilts your face up with his warm masculine fingers

“I’d like to see what kind of deal is hiding behind these twelve layers” he stared at your lips while alternating and staring into your eyes “What kind of beast is hiding in there, huh? Baby girl?” his sweet smile suddenly turned into a side smirk

The boy licks his bottom lip and you feel your fangs poking against the inside of your cheek. Your eyes round as you feel your transformation being quicker than it usually is. Jungkook was tempting you and you were being lured by the impossible amount of sensual pheromones Jungkook’s hormones were sending you. Sure, he was the one to be turned on, but it directly had an effect on your thirst, since his hormones were changing his blood’s usual composition. Jungkook’s blood was slowly making its aroma yummier by the second he’d be aroused over you.

“J-Jeon J-J-Jungkook” you slightly pushed his chest away from yours as you licked your bottom lip

“Did you call my name, baby girl?” he tilted your chin again to get your attention

“No Jungkook, this is not happening” you turned your face to the other side

Jungkook smiled as he let you go of his hold on you.

“And I’m relieved it didn’t” he smiled cutely

“W-What?” you stuttered

“It means you’re different” his soft eyes gazed into yours “You wouldn’t jump on my advances to get a piece of me like everyone else does… that’s what I mean.”

“How does that make me any different?” you blink as you recall awfully wanting a piece of him

You stepped back at the contact of his skin on yours once again. Jungkook was triggering your inner vampire to come out sooner than it usually would. You quickly grabbed the extra pill you had in your pocket.

The boy stepped back from you with a very confused gaze as he watched you. His hand dropped from your waist and his eyes were now focused on the red pill you just took out of your pocket.

“What is that? Y/N?” he furrowed his brows “don’t tell me...”

“What?” you blinked innocently before popping it into your mouth

His eyes round in panic as he watches you gulping down your martini along with your pill

“DID YOU JUST EAT PILLS WHILE SIPPING ALCOHOL?!” he shouted “Are you f*cking insane!” he grabs your wrist “What the f*ck is wrong with you?!”

 “Whoa there! Why are you shouting” you throw your palm over his lips “What if they kick us out?!”

“Are you a dumb idiot?! Taking medicine while drinking alcohol?!” he replies angrily “Do you want to kill yourself?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“Kill myself?” you tilted your head

I can’t die, even if I wanted to…But do humans die from this?

“You dumb piece of shit” he buried his face in his hands

“Uhm, excuse me?!” you frowned “Did you just called me a piece of shit?! You son of a--” you attempt to hit his head again but he blocks your hand by wrapping his fingers around your wrist

“You better spit it out right now” he stared at you “There’s no way I’m watching your ass die”

“I can’t spit it out even if I wanted to” you replied

“What if you die?! What am I supposed to do then…?” Jungkook whispered under his breath “We’re going to the hospital.” He grabs your arm

“Hey!!! Where are you dragging me?! There’s no way I’m going to a hospital!” you pushed him away as you were afraid to get discovered

Why are humans so damn sensitive to everything? Can’t they chill for a bit? This kid is way too nervous for nothing *sighs* let’s comfort his ass a little bit.

“These pills aren’t harmful when they’re combined with alcohol!” you blurt out an excuse to make him calm down but the latter doesn’t respond and you suddenly feel the guilt eating you up “H-Hey” you poke his arm “Jungkook…”

“You f*cking idiot. YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME THIS INFORMATION A THOUSAND YEARS AGO INSTEAD OF MAKING ME FREAK OUT” he snapped at you

“Look here Organic Boy, you get to have control over your emotions. Don’t blame your outbursts on me” you stare at him

“This girl, I swear to god” he facepalms before sighing and acting like your parent “What kind of pills are those?! Y/N! Don’t tell me you’re taking drugs”

“Calm down” you punched his arm and he winced in pain “O-Oh sorry, did I hurt you?” you blinked before patting his arm

“Y-yeah a little” he rubbed on his bicep painfully “But that’s some amazing strength you got there! I want to try wrestling you one of these times”

“Trust me, you’d rather not try this with me” you chuckled sarcastically

“Is this a challenge?” his competitive side was surfacing again

“No, Jungkook, It’s not a challenge, can we please talk about something else now?”

“Don’t change topics! What was that weird red pill?!”

You paused and choked on your words after this deadly question was thrown at you. Jungkook was a straightforward man and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I-I-It’s… uhm…I-I...”

“Are you on the pill?” Jungkook stared at you

Pill? Well yeah, I’m taking pills…? Let’s just say yes and maybe he’ll leave us alone.

“Y-Yeah” you nodded with a very skeptical look on your face

You didn’t know what Jungkook meant by being on the pill, but you thought it was the safest way to get out of this noisy situation. Vampires didn’t have periods or menstrual cycles after all, and moving to the human world barely 2 years ago, wasn’t long enough for you to figure out how women in this world survived.

“O-Oh s-so you’re really on the pill” Jungkook blushed at your response

“Why are you blushing?” you could feel the beast inside you raging at his masculine sensual pheromones calling you.

“I wasn’t blushing” he cleared his throat “I was just taken aback because you don’t seem that way.”

“Yeah?” you raised a brow

“Why are you on the pill though? Is it because you’re seeing someone?” he kicked the ground with his shoes

What is he talking about? Seeing someone? Well Yes, I take those pills because I see humans every day and I don’t want them to discover that I’m a vampire.

“Well, yes? I mean, why I would take them if it wasn’t for that?” you stared at him “I’m seeing you right now” you raised a brow

“You’re seeing me?!” Jungkook’s jaw dropped “You’re taking them for me?!” he felt his heart drop out of his chest

“Why do you seem so nervous? Did I say something wrong?” you blinked as you could feel his heart race accelerating

F*ck, why is he so damn nervous, now I’m getting hungry!#@#$@%@ why must his blood smell so damn delicious

“L-Let me sit for a few seconds, I feel very flustered right now” He moistens his bottom lip nervously

You let the boy breath a few times as he sits on the nearest chair.

“Y-Y/N?! Are you for real? You’ve been taking pills because of me?” Jungkook’s breath hitched at the thought of you taking contraceptive pills in case he’d get intimate with you

“Uhm…not necessarily just for you, but for people in general” you nodded awkwardly

Jungkook felt panic invade his body as he heard your last few words.

“For people in GENERAL?!!!” Jungkook shouted “Y/N, What did you get yourself into?!” he grabbed your shoulders “Is it because you don’t have enough to pay off college?!” His soft eyes laid upon your neutral ones before he pulled you on his sturdy chest, where you had your face buried in his good scent. You could feel his heart racing frantically as his masculine scent was invading your senses, making you slowly drunk in ecstasy “Don’t do those things!! I’ll pay for you! Please don’t sell yourself for college!” he ran his long fingers through your soft hair as he held you tightly in his arms.

So delicious, you lick your bottom lip as you could hear his bloodstream and his heart, f*ck, this is not the moment to be lured by temptation! The pills won’t have an effect for that long, and they’ll only delay the transformation! Better find a way to keep him away from me.

“Selling myself?” You slowly pushed his chest before staring at his eyes “How does that work?”

“Don’t say anything” he pulls your body closer in his embrace before muttering a few words in your ears “Is that why your skin is always so cold? You don’t even have a heater at home! And you wear a thousand layers because you feel cold, right?” Jungkook separated your bodies as  guilt was taking over him “I was such an asshole for criticizing you over your clothes all this time, I’m such a jerk, I’m so sorry” he buried his face in his hands

“Jungkook, come on, don’t cry like a maiden and get over it!” you rolled your eyes before patting his well-endowed arm

“I just made fun of the poor without being aware of your situation Y/N! This is not a matter to shrug off easily!”

I’m not even poor in the first place, but yeah… let’s leave him confused as he is already. It’s better to make him believe that I’m broke rather than make him discover that I’m a monster.

“Oh please, drama queen, get over it! I’m not offended, nor am I feeling hurt!” you ruffled his luscious hair “I may hate plants, but I believe that you’re not that bad”

“You may have cold hands, but you have such a warm heart for accepting my apology” he grabbed your fingers in his large palm

You gulped on your saliva at his sweet words. Jungkook was a known to be a playboy and you knew that his comment wasn’t being flirty but sincere this time. His warm hands and personality might be the reason why your cold heart was slowly melting for the past few weeks. You sure felt different when he was around you, but the events of this night were bound to make you look at him differently.

“Is that another lame pick up line” you rolled your eyes “Maybe I should just leave you to rot in the club and go back home?” you nodded to yourself as you were about to walk away

“H-hey! Let’s go together”

“Why do we need to go together?” you scowl “Are you planning to follow me to my place or something?” you reply

“Why? You want me to drop by your place?” he smirks

“Not in a million years” you sighed

“But on a more serious note! Please, keep me company! That’s what friends do in those moments” he walks next to you

“Why me?” you crouch your shoulders

“Why do you hate me so much?!” Jungkook stomped his foot “I have girls lining up, do you realize that I could be somewhere else, with a hot girl yet I sacrificed my Friday night to be a good friend!”

“What an egocentric piece of shit” you chuckled soullessly “Then go find your hot girl”

“Nah, I prefer spending this night examining you” he gives you that lopsided smile

“You’d rather not “you point at him

“Now that you say it, I’m curious” he comments “You don’t live on campus like the other students?”

“You’re being very fishy and disturbingly creepy Right now, Jeon Jungkook. You know that?”

“W-what?” the word Offended was written all over his forehead “Creepy? FISHY?! ME?!”

“Yeah” you burst out into a fit of giggles

“ I rarely ask girls where they live, but I was asking because I thought you might want me to walk you back home because we are friends!, but I GUESS WE CAN FORGET ABOUT IT, since I’m CREEPY” he glared at you “ I feel hurt, right here” he points at his heart like a lovesick fool

“Come on Jungkook, grow a pair, I was just teasing you” you smile

“My heart can’t handle you” he pouts

“Was this meant to be a cute pickup line?” you raised a brow “You’re working your way there, I see improvement “you give him a thumbs up

“O-Oh?” he blushed taken aback “I-It wasn’t a pickup line though” he muttered under his breath

“Idiot” you chuckled “You’re still not stopping by my place” you tapped his nose

“Why the f*ck not?” he frowned

“Who would want to drop by Virgin Mary’s place on a Friday night? Definitely not you” you commented

“I beg to differ. I want to see those three cats you own” he nudged your arm

More like 2 cats and a hybrid asshole called Park Jimin

“Yeah, well maybe another time” you smiled awkwardly

“Okay, okay” he stepped back “I just wanted to stop by and talk a little more with you, because my friends are out of town tonight, so I felt a little lonely” he sighed

Why is he acting so cute?! I just want to punch him for making me so weak.

“Mother nature should’ve thought twice before creating humans like you” you rubbed your temples “Well, I don’t live alone either, so if we’re bothering the other tenant, you’re kicked out right away, okay?” you flicked his forehead

“R-Really? I can drop by?” Jungkook’s eyes lit up

It wasn’t long before your phone started vibrating in your pocket. You hushed Jungkook as you grabbed the phone and stared at the screen for a few seconds before realizing that your hybrid probably transformed again.

Back to his human form, huh? I thought he turned into a cat every twelve hours, why is it lasting longer?

“Hey, are you coming back tonight?” Jimin mewed on the other line

“Chimney” you replied, “Is everything fine with your body changes?”

“Body changes?” Jungkook gasped from the side

“Everything is under control, apart from the fact that Jenna just showed up earlier. Can you tell your annoying friend to stop petting me?! I’m a hybrid, every time she flips me around and rubs my tummy, I feel like dying! Those are my abs she’s touching!” Jimin whined on the other line

“Is it that time of the year again” your eyes rounded

“Well no, but look! I never asked to be a cat with a human mentality” Jimin sighed “What about you, honey? How was your day?” he purred  

“Don’t honey me, you pussycat” you rolled your eyes

“Did you find a yummy treat? Or am I the one getting bitten again? Just a reminder that I’m your cat. You should be loving me not the other way around” Jimin commented

“You should be happy I’m not kicking you out! Two cats were enough, why did you had to show up and look like a homeless little bastard” you sighed

“Because my old tenant flipped her shit out when she learned I could talk” he replied “You see, I’m not judging you for being a vamp and you’re not judging me for being a hybrid. This is what we call cohabitation”

“Not really since I pay for everything”

“You get to be blessed with my presence though! Buy me some milk and tuna on your way back, kitten” he mewed “But baby, is there a boy with you?” Jimin commented “Tall, black hair and handsome eyes?”

“How the f*ck do you—“

“My ears are amazing. I suggest you hang up now because I swore I just heard him mutter the words: is she really not on drugs?”

“What?” you turned around to stare at Jungkook “I’m not on drugs!”

“How did you even hear me” Jungkook blinked

Jungkook became more and more perplexed as your conversation went on

“ I’ll be deserting the place to go woo a few kittens tonight, who knows, maybe I’ll find my match made in heaven?” he replied dreamily “ Take advantage of that time to properly lure him and bite him, I’m sure he’ll love it”

“Are you INSANE?!”

“Not insane, just stating facts. As a hybrid, I can tell you that humans find unusual things quite thrilling, which is why I was excited when I learned you were a vamp”

“But that’s not the same thing! You’re a cat!” you whispered

“Whether I’m a cat or not, men are still the same, no matter what’s their nature” you could almost feel his smirk through the phone “They will bite onto what they think is sexy”

“Bite?!” you blinked furiously as you eyed Jungkook and his delicious looking figure “I might as well take a bite first. I f*cking hate you, you know that?”

“Oh~ Have I awoken the inner beast?” Jimin giggles on the other line

“Should I castrate you later?” you reply in a threatening tone

“Castrate who?!” Jungkook blinked furiously “Damn Y/N, who are you talking with?!”

“N-No one” you stuttered “I’m hanging up now” you hung up on Jimin

“Perhaps your boyfriend?” Jungkook raised a brow as you exited the club venue “Not that I believe you have one”

“Very funny, Jeon Jungkook” you glared at him “It was my cat” your eyes round as you realize your honest reply

“Your cat?” Jungkook titled his head “Are you sure you’re not on drugs?”

“I-I meant, m-my friend Jenna! She said she would be out of town tonight” you blink “Don’t ask more questions” you put your index over his lips

“I won’t, geez, why are being so mysterious?” he gently removed your finger from his lips “and why are your hands are so cold?” he stared at your soft hand before interlacing his hand to yours

“W-What are you doing?”

“Maybe you can warm up to me, like this?” he grabbed your interlaced hands and shoved them in his jacket’s pocket

“W-Why are you acting like this? It’s not like we’re an item of anything” you blushed

“Well, maybe I want us to be an item” he replied shyly

“Or maybe you’re out of your mind” you removed your hand from his hold

“And Maybe you’re just avoiding the truth, Y/N” he stood in front of you

“What truth? The truth where you learn who I really am and you feel disgusted? I don’t want any of that, Jungkook.” you paused in front of your house’s door

“Why would I be disgusted? You’re by far the only genuine girl I encountered in this stupid university. You’re the only girl who didn’t throw herself at me when I asked her for a kiss. No, you’re the only girl who openly admitted not wanting me for her personal gain!”

“You won’t understand even if I tried explaining it to you. I’m not what you think I am” you stared at the door

“And what exactly are you? Why are you so afraid of telling me the truth?”

“I-I just can’t tell you” you turned your back to him as you opened the front door of your apartment before blocking him from getting inside “ J-Just go away”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on!” he blocked the door “I would never think you’re disgusting nor would I ever turn my back on you, no matter what it is about”

“That’s what you believe you would do, but I know well enough that people like you aren’t like that” you stared at him “Just leave before it’s too late” you stared at your watch.

“What is it? Are you going to transform like Cinderella before midnight? I’m sure it can’t be that bad. Why can’t you trust me?”

“It’s not you, Jungkook! It’s me! I can’t trust myself.” You stare at the ground as your fangs were slowly growing

“Why would you be afraid of being true to me? I trust you so please trust yourself” he gently grabbed your wrist

“I can’t, Jungkook. I’m dangerous for you and y-you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into” you yanked your wrist away from him “Just please, stay away from me. I don’t want you to get hurt”

“I won’t get hurt Y/N. I trust you”

“JUST GO AWAY”

“I came this far. I’m going inside and I’m going to see what’s going on, no matter what it takes. Try stopping me later, but I’m not backing away from you. ” He pushed you inside your apartment before closing the door behind both of you

“W-why did you do it”

You bury your face in your hands as you sense your transformation taking place. Your eyes turning from their usual color to a dark wine tone of seduction, your hair turning into long and shiny locks of beauty, your lips turning red just like your eyes, your skin glistening like a rare diamond and your teeth turning into fangs.

Jungkook’s eyes rounded as he watched your transformation. The boy was in awe, unable to process the situation. You looked unreal and so beautiful, he could not close his mouth. Never had he ever thought being so intrigued and excited about a vampire. You made him vulnerable and weak for you. If he previously liked you, then his feelings got confirmed after seeing your true self, as he felt like it was love at first sight.

“Whoa…” he blinked “Is this a dream? Or am I just going insane?” he rubbed his eyes “Never have I ever seen anything as beautiful as you” he walked closer to you “This is what you wanted to hide from me?! Are you insane? How dare you shield such beauty from me?!” he grabbed your wrist, locking eyes with your sensual ones

“Oh please, spare me the dialogue, Jungkook. I know you only think I look hot.” you sighed

“Feeling attracted is an understatement. I think I fell in love.” His mesmerized eyes stared into your wine colored orbs

“Y-You’re being delusional, Jungkook” you yanked your wrist away from him “I’m a disgusting beast” you buried your face in your hands “I could hurt you”

“Disgusting? You?” he stared at your skin in amazement, gently touching your soft locks “You’re the reason why I can’t focus on anything right now, yet you call yourself disgusting? Y/N, are you insane? I’m here, having a midlife crisis over how amazing this transformation was and you’re calling yourself disgusting?” he grabbed your hand once again “You wouldn’t hurt me and I’m not afraid of you, okay? Please have a little faith in yourself. You look stunning and I’m the only disgusting one here because I can’t help but drool because of your ethereal beauty”

“Just face it, I’m a monster” you hid your face in your palms again “Please don’t look at me”

“Hey” Jungkook grabbed your wrists “Don’t say that!”

“Go away!” You try pushing him away “You don’t know what you’re getting into!”

“You’re actually...” he bit on his bottom lips “Kind of… sexy”

“Jungkook?!” you scoffed “Is this a f*cking joke?! You’re locked in a room with a monster and those are the first words you mutter?!”

“But you’re not a monster” he replies “You’re my friend Y/N and you look…” he licks on his bottom lip “I can’t believe that you were hiding these goodies under twelve layers! I feel hurt now!” he tries easing the mood “You should’ve had shared the goods with me!”

“Jungkook please” you facepalm “I have fangs and I drink blood to survive! Can’t you understand that this is getting dangerous?!”

“So what? Who gives a flying f*ck about your fangs and your shiny skin?!” he grabbed your wrists “They’re what make you into the girl you are, and they make you beautiful”

“N-No they’re not!” You hung your head low “They’re what turn me into a monster”

“Look at me” he tilts up your chin “Girls are all different. Some are thin, some are curvy, some are fair, some are darker, and some are short, some are tall….and you?” he stares at you in adoration “ You just happen to have a little extra, and I like that” he caresses your upper lip to reveal your fangs “You’re beautiful, okay? Never let anyone tell you otherwise”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better”

“No I’m not” he slides his warm soft fingers on your arms “Your supernatural shiny skin is gorgeous and you shine like a diamond! I never thought I’d say that b-but… I kind of dig this kind of thing. Your fangs are the sexiest thing I ever saw on a girl before!” he stuttered shyly

“You’re such a weird guy, organic boy” you shake your head in disbelief “Anyone would have thrown garlic at me at this point and you’re still here trying to convince me that I’m beautiful?”

“Then those people are the biggest idiots on this planet.” Jungkook chuckled “They’re idiots, for passing a chance to be friends with a cool girl like you” he brushed his thumb on the side of your cheek “Your eyes are so gorgeous”

“S-Stop” you replied shyly

“They’re dark red, my favorite color” he whispered against your ear “It’d be sexy if you had a pair of matching lingerie to go with these tempting orbs of yours” he leaned closer to your face “ Girls usually wear red lipstick to attract, but your eyes alone, can kill all other girls.”

“Yeah Jungkook” You nodded “My eyes can kill people, I’m a monster” you sighed “Just leave before I kill you as well”

“Why do you keep on labeling yourself as dangerous? Stop saying that” he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear “You’re perfect the way you are and I…I will keep on liking you even if you’re different” his ears turned a shade of red

“You like me?” stared at him from the corner of his eyes “As if this thing couldn’t get any worse” you stood up “You can’t like me, Jungkook. This isn’t right! Just like you always talk about natural processes and Mother Nature. This is against the law of nature. Therefore, we must stay away from each other, Organic boy”

“Well for the first time in my life, I don’t feel like following nature’s law. You always hated my knowledge of earth science and I always loved calling you out for hating it, simply because I wanted you to spare a glance at me. Now that we’re here, I could care less. All I want is you”

“This isn’t some sort of game, Jeon Jungkook” you frowned “This could really get dangerous and the last thing I’d like, is to hurt you by accident”

“Aw, look at you being all sweet and caring towards me” Jungkook smiled sweetly, “You’re adorable, Y/N. That’s all there is.” He stepped closer to you

“I drink blood, Jungkook. Why can’t it get through your head? Did you let your brain cells die or something?!”

“First of all, my brain cells can’t function around you because you’re so damn ethereal I can’t focus. Second of all, I trust you and you should probably do the same.”

“I’m just a monster. When will you get it?” you hid your face in your palms

“Hey, little monster” he poked your waist and you hissed at his soft touch on your waist “Did you just hiss at me?” he chuckled

You felt your cheeks turning red in embarrassment at your sudden protective mode. Jungkook was having the time of his life and you just wanted to crawl and hide somewhere in a corner.

“What kind of vampire hisses cutely like you do? It’s confirmed, you’re no vamp, you’re a cute kitten” he nuzzles his cute nose in the crook of your soft neck

Jungkook nuzzles the crook of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You were a vampire, yet the boy managed to make you feel things you never felt before. You were cold, yet you were feeling shivers on your skin.

“Maybe I’ll be the one biting you for the rest of the night” he licked your ear

“B-Bite m-m-me?” You stammered as his hot breath was near your ears “W-why are you so warm?!” You flinch at the feeling of his wet tongue against your sensitive ear “This is getting so weird” you suddenly sit up

Jungkook’s predatory acts were making you surrender. The boy had his own ways to make you forget that you were dangerous to him. His presence and love were reassuring.

“What?”

“I’m feeling very weird right now” you cup your cheeks

“That’s just how humans do it, sweetie” you could feel him smirk next to your ear

“You lick people’s ears?” you suddenly slide your cold fingers on Jungkook’s biceps “This is how humans seduce their mates?” you furrowed your brows in utter confusion

“You’re such a curious one, aren’t you?” Jungkook let out a breathy chuckle “It feels like I got myself a new pet or something” he chuckled as he sensed your glare before regaining his cool

“A new pet? Should I crush your balls too?” You smiled sarcastically

“Or maybe not. I was joking, obviously” he blinked nervously “J-Just tell me what’s wrong with kissing your ears?”

“Humans are weird” you furrow your brows at the new sensation

“How do you guys do it then?” Jungkook raised a brow

“We bite the neck” you blinked innocently

“Then why don’t you bite me?” Jungkook cupped your cheek

The need to seduce and the satisfaction to have Jungkook at your mercy would take over you. Vampires would seduce the prey they like and suck them off, as racy as it sounds, the sucking part is a bit more horrid than the word humans use it for. You’d suck off his blood and Jungkook would either be stuck to be your prey-mate, or stuck to transform into a vampire just like you. As much as the options sounded delicious in your perspective, you still didn’t want to involve Jungkook in your matters. Jungkook was a cheerful bright young man and there was no way you were going to take his youth away from him by transforming him or keeping him as your mate for the rest of his life.

“I-I can’t possibly do that! What if I end up killing you?!” you shouted

“Relax, I trust you” he landed a kiss on your shoulder “Don’t you want a sip of me?” he raised a seductive brow

“I’d rather smack your face all night long” you rolled your eyes

“Oh, I like it when you talk dirty, Y/N” he replied sarcastically

“Shut up, Organic boy” you rolled your eyes “Unless you want us to get laid in a coffin, I suggest you remain silent”

“I said I was okay with doing it in a church, not in a coffin!!” His eyes rounded “Vampires are on another level.” He blinked as he stared at you one last time “How about we take things, slow? I don’t feel like having sex in a coffin” he made a meme face

“Awww, Organic boy is scared?”

“What’s next, a threesome with a bat? Yeah, sounds like something vampires would do” Jungkook blinked “Please tell me I’m wrong” he shivered “No, please tell me you’re not into threesomes that involve bats” he faked a sob against your shoulder

“You’re hilarious” you laughed “Let’s just sleep, Jungkook.”

“Please tell me we’re not sleeping in a coffin?!” he scowled “What am I getting into?” he stared at his surroundings “The kind of things I do for love” he sighed one last time before staring at you in adoration “but she’s worth it”

Tell me your thoughts in the ask box/ comments :) 

[madamekyberpunk]

Film Diary (July 12, 2020 - Dec 28, 2020)

JULY

July 12, 2020: KNIVES OUT (Dir. Rian Johnson)

We get to see Rian Johnson finely tune his craft in real time, and I find it exciting. I’ve been on a binge of his work as-of-late and a recurring theme of most of his movies is them being a commentary on themselves or the genres they’re working within. I think this movie nails that trick on the head without patting itself on the back too much. The ensemble cast is expertly chosen and works together really well, and you can tell just by watching it that they were having fun on set. The cast is grounded by Ana de Armas’ quietly brilliant performance. My favorite Rian Johnson movie is still reserved for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but I do think this is his best work so far.

July 13, 2020: MERMAIDS (Dir. Richard Benjamin)

A slightly more absurd version of Lady Bird, if Lady Bird was made in the nineties. A good addition to the strained-but-loving mother-daughter relationship cinematic universe.

July 15, 2020: THE UNTOUCHABLES (Dir. Brian De Palma)

This is actually the first mafia movie I’ve ever seen, and honestly...it was probably a bad one to start with. Although it was entertaining and tense at all the right moments, the whole thing just felt empty. Every character seemed half-baked and none of them really had any development. De Palma could’ve gone grittier for an R-rating and made his interpretation of Al Capone a little less cartoonish; Kevin Costner’s Eliot Ness was doing the absolute least, and Robert De Niro’s Al Capone was doing the absolute most.

July 31, 2020: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER (Dir. Marc Webb)

For some reason I have unintentionally seen almost all of Marc Webb’s filmography, and I have to say that I’m underwhelmed by all of it. While watching I found myself reflexively comparing this to Webb’s The Amazing Spiderman and maybe it ruined my viewing experience a little bit. Both of them have lots of super mumbly, drawn-out conversations and an interpretation of an “indie” style that just seems...bland to me. (Also, both of them have pale women with bangs and men with undiagnosed depression.) I don’t know, I just feel like if you want a rom-com with a realistic depiction of romantic relationships, you should just go watch The Big Sick.

AUGUST

August 14, 2020: LATE NIGHT (Dir. Nisha Ganatra)

Emma Thompson was great in this, and I think Mindy Kaling is very underrated as a writer (in some ways, I think she is the modern Nora Ephron). I’ve seen quite a few reviews claiming that this movie plays along with conventions, but I don’t necessarily think that conventions are inherently bad as long as they’re executed well. In this case, they were.

August 22, 2020: THE FAREWELL (Dir. Lulu Wang)

I’d classify this as a really good movie that just didn’t click with me. It was a complete, “it’s not them, it’s me,” situation. It was smartly directed with a focused, sharp script and an excellent leading performance from Awkwafina - I can see why people were upset that it got snubbed at the Oscars - but it just wasn’t my thing. The only time I really connected with it emotionally was the ending.

August 22, 2020: KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Dir. Rachel Lears)

The only piece of media currently in existence that somehow makes me feel a sense of patriotism for this hellscape of a country.

SEPTEMBER

September 5, 2020: BARRY (Dir. Vikram Gandhi)

Speaking of living in a hellscape of a country, I have mixed feelings about the Obama presidency - but this movie isn’t about his presidency. It isn’t indicative that he’ll be president at any point. It’s essentially a piece of historical fiction about race and American identity that happens to use Barack Obama as its protagonist. You could replace him with any other dude with a background similar to his and it still would’ve been interesting.

September 8, 2020: UNICORN STORE (Dir. Brie Larson)

If there’s one word to describe this movie, I’d say, it’s cute. Not in a patronizing type of way, but in a this-movie-feels-like-a-warm-hug type of way. I like this Brie Larson vehicle much more than Captain Marvel, mainly because I feel like she’s having more fun in this and she gets to wear more colors and Samuel L. Jackson has tinsel in his hair and also there’s a unicorn in it. I’m a simple girl with simple needs. I also think Samuel L. Jackson should be adorned in tinsel in every film he’s in without explanation (I might actually watch Pulp Fiction if Jackson’s character had a sparkly afro in it). This movie also made me stan Mamoudou Athie - I think he plays a good straight man and I hope that they don’t waste him in Jurassic World: Dominion, although I’m not getting my hopes up.

September 11, 2020: LADY BIRD (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

I waited a criminally long amount of time to finally watch this. I can’t really say anything about this movie that hasn’t already been said. It’s good! It’s genuine and sweet and I liked seeing Timothée Chalamet play a pretentious asshole.

September 12, 2020: THE BROTHERS BLOOM (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Upon a rewatch, I’m taking my original score of 3.5 out of 5 and bumping it up to a 4 out of 5.  Adrian Brody and Rachel Weisz’s performances pretty much make this movie with their earnestness and chemistry. I think you could qualify this film as a romantic dramedy that just happens to be about an international con job. It doesn’t do the greatest job of explaining itself plot-wise, but it makes up for it with stylish direction and a charming cast.

September 18, 2020: EVER AFTER (Dir. Andy Tennant)

The best Cinderella adaptation currently in existence (next to Nickelodeon’s Rags starring Keke Palmer, of course). It’s so good that I’m willing to forgive Drew Barrymore’s attempt at a British accent. I also think this is one of the few movies that could be a decent remake if you gave it to the right director.

September 19, 2020: BRICK (Dir. Rian Johnson)

I love Rian Johnson, I think we’ve established that already, but I kind of sort of hated his film debut. It seemed so caught up in its own concept that it ended up seeming like a shell of a movie with no theme to ground it. Sometimes I don’t care if movie has no theme if it’s entertaining, but this movie was not entertaining, so...

September 25, 2020: ABOUT LAST NIGHT... (Dir. Edward Zwick)

Alternate title: Toxic Man is Horrible to a Woman Who Literally Does Nothing Wrong Ever and Also is Gorgeous, They Break Up, Toxic Man Gets a Different Job and Toxicity is Gone Now, Like His Personality was Sifted Through a Brita Water Filter, then the Toxic Man Gets an Unearned Happy Ending with Gorgeous Woman. It might be a little bit long, but at least people would know what they were in for. Still better than (500) Days of Summer, although every male character in About Last Night... deserves to be in jail. All of Demi Moore’s sweaters get five stars.

OCTOBER

October 3, 2020: ENOLA HOLMES (Dir. Harry Bradbeer)

During the first draft of this post, I gave this movie a pretty good review. Then I rewatched it, and...huh. It’s not exactly a bad movie, it’s just an aggressively average movie. Enola Holmes would have benefited from a) a shorter runtime, b) a better mystery, and c) a weirder style. I think that if the character is going to repeatedly talk into the camera, which is kinda weird, you should just make everything else weird too. Give it a Birds of Prey-esque unreliable narrator and non-linear storyline. It’s still a fun movie, and the inevitable sequels have potential, but it just felt like they could’ve - I don’t know - made more of an effort?

October 10, 2020: HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE (Dir. Taika Waititi)

This is the first Taika Waititi movie I’ve seen besides Thor: Ragnarok. I liked seeing how his style transferred into Ragnarok, and it probably has the funniest funeral scene ever written (do yourself a favor and look it up on YouTube). Hunt for the Wilderpeople knows when to make a joke without getting too goofy, and it knows when to be sentimental without getting too sappy. It also has dozens of glorious one-liners.

October 11, 2020: LITTLE WOMEN (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

The best Little Women adaptation. (I haven’t seen the one with Katharine Hepburn but I’m just going to assume that this one’s better.) This movie was clearly made for people who know and love the story, which can be a good thing and a bad thing - it means that it took some creative liberties that enhanced the story and added subversions that made it feel meta in a satisfying way. But it also meant that it could be potentially confusing for people who aren’t familiar with the story. Personally I wasn’t lost, but I think Gerwig could’ve used some more visual cues to let you know when they were in the present or when they were diving into the past. I wouldn’t want her to eliminate the jumping back and forth, though, because I think it allowed the characters to be explored a lot more than a linear story would’ve allowed. Gerwig also did a great job of letting you understand the motivations of the supporting characters - specifically Amy - in a way that prior adaptations never really did. Every character felt like their own person instead of accessories to Jo’s life.

October 16, 2020: THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (Dir. Aaron Sorkin)

Siegel, a very good Letterboxd reviewer that I follow, said it better than I can: “Aaron Sorkin is way too good a writer to be forced to work with such a mediocre director as Aaron Sorkin”. I didn’t mind the beginning - I thought the quick editing, upbeat music, and cuts back and forth between historical footage and fictionalized scenes were engaging, but the ending was clunky and didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the film. The Trial of the Chicago 7 was a little confused politically and wanted to desperately cling onto a centrism that didn’t let the film fully embrace the anger that it could’ve ended on. Despite all of these things, I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The performances were all excellent, and if any of them get nominated for an Oscar it’s well-deserved. I’m also a sucker for Aaron Sorkin’s speechy, tangential dialogue. It makes me feel smart whenever I listen to it.

October 20, 2020: HALLOWEENTOWN (Dir. Duwayne Dunham)

This movie does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it.

October 26, 2020: BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN) (Dir. Cathy Yan)

This movie also does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Seriously, I honestly don’t know why people don’t love this movie. Margot Robbie’s performance as Harley Quinn is Oscar-worthy. That’s not a joke. I actually think that if the Oscars knew how to have fun, she would get a nomination. She is this character. It feels so lived-in and she never does too much - and with a role like Harley Quinn, it would be very easy to do too much. I also have to give props to the type of feminism that director Cathy Yan inserted into this film. I really enjoyed Wonder Woman and didn’t mind Captain Marvel, but there was something so formulaic and studio-approved about the female empowerment in both of those films. Birds of Prey, however, didn’t really give a single fuck. It was a nuanced, violent, funny as hell story about flawed women forming alliances and finding meaningful relationships in a world that actively abuses them and ugh, I love this movie. It’s probably my personal favorite of the year.

October 27, 2020: DOLLY PARTON: HERE I AM (Dir. Francis Whately)

This documentary was strangely edited and offered pretty surface-level information presented in an uninteresting way. I enjoyed myself while I was watching it, but I just wish it would’ve gone deeper. Dolly Parton is one of the most interesting figures in music history, and there was a lot more they could’ve explored.

NOVEMBER

November 1, 2020: ATTACK THE BLOCK (Dir. Joe Cornish)

This 82-minute movie gave John Boyega a more satisfactory arc than the almost seven hour long Star Wars sequel trilogy. Seriously, this movie fucking slaps! It hit all the right notes at all the right moments. I honestly think that a lot of sci-fi movies would be better if they worked with smaller budgets and shorter runtimes. Something about working within limitations makes a film feel more authentic and cuts out a lot of the excess fat. This movie is funny and earnest and surprisingly has a lot to say about the world we live in, with a budget that’s 200 million dollars less and a runtime that's 45 minutes less than a lot of sci-fi movies out there.

November 18, 2020: A PRINCESS FOR CHRISTMAS (Dir. Michael Damian)

*Lady Gaga voice* Amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely-not-ever-been-done-before... My go-to shitty Hallmark Christmas movie every year :)

November 19, 2020: THE LEGO STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (Dir. Ken Cunningham)

I’m giving this a five-star rating completely unironically. This movie uses the mechanism of time travel better than Avengers: Endgame.

November 20, 2020: THE CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES (Dir. Clay Kaytis)

There’s a scene where Kurt Russel does a musical number in a jail cell and then Winston from “New Girl” quits his job as a cop. What more could you want from a Christmas movie?

November 21, 2020: INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (Dir. Joel & Ethan Coen)

What was originally intended to be an Oscar Isaac thirst watch turned into what might end up being one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s one of those movies where it’s hard to articulate why it was so good, it was just good, but for the sake of this post I’ll try my best. Oscar Isaac was phenomenal in this - and I’m not just saying that because I’m a simp. His performance, combined with the script, made you root for his character even if he was a douchebag a lot of the time. The movie did a great job of blurring the line between what Llewyn Davis brought on himself and what was the result of just really, really bad luck. The use of sound in Llewyn Davis is excellent, too. Instead of using an instrumental score to emphasize emotion, they used sounds from the character’s environment, which really let the occasional musical moments pop - whenever anyone started singing, it almost felt cathartic. The Coen Brothers also provided moments of levity with perfectly-timed comedic moments throughout. It’s one of those movies where at the end of it, you’re kind of jealous that someone could make something that good. The fact that Oscar Isaac didn’t even get an Oscar nomination for this is - not to be dramatic - a fucking war crime.

November 22, 2020: STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Listen, I know The Last Jedi is such a hotly debated movie that it’s almost political, but it happens to be my favorite movie of all time. Like, number one. It even beats A Princess for Christmas. I’ve had my fair share of slander for loving this movie so damn much, but I will defend it until the day I die, and then I will have my tombstone engraved with “Luke Skywalker’s portrayal in this movie makes sense, you guys are just poisoned by nostalgia.” I’ve seen this movie several times, but I actually haven’t given it a rewatch since The Rise of Skywalker came out last December, and it still holds up. There’s a couple of things that I really appreciated a bit more this time around: every shot in this movie seems so intentional and emotionally charged. Pause it at any point and you’re going to have something interesting and aesthetically pleasing to look at. I really enjoyed the dialogue, too. In most of his movies, Rian Johnson makes his characters talk in a slightly heightened (or in Brick's case, very heightened) way, and it lends well to the Star Wars universe. I'm never going to to not gush about this film. The Last Jedi is the movie that made me love movies, and for that I will always be grateful.

November 25, 2020: HAPPIEST SEASON (Dir. Clea DuVall)

I have similar feelings toward this movie as I did toward Crazy Rich Asians; it follows most of the conventions that populate the rom-com genre, but for the marginalized people the movie is representing, it’s actually pretty fresh. Hot take, but I don’t think that Kristen Stewart’s character should’ve ended up with Aubrey Plaza’s character - I just think the film could’ve done a better job of empathizing with Mackenzie Davis’s character. If we focused on her perspective a bit more, maybe she would’ve seemed less...shitty and distant. I’d also appreciate it if we just stop doing the Gay Best Friend Trope after this movie because - let’s be honest with ourselves - no one’s going to be able to top Daniel Levy’s rendition of it.

November 29, 2020: MANGROVE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

See my Mangrove review here.

DECEMBER

December 5, 2020: RED, WHITE AND BLUE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

I may need to give this a rewatch at some point, mainly because it seems like I didn’t fully grasp the themes it was conveying due to my own skepticisms going into it. Here’s my original review.

December 13, 2020: THE PROM (Dir. Ryan Murphy)

I really can’t critically engage with this movie because my brain just turns off the minute the first song starts. Most of the criticisms you’ve heard are valid - though perhaps a little bit blown out of proportion - but it’s so much damn fun. I’ve watched it twice now.

December 19, 2020: MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM (Dir. George C. Wolfe)

Chadwick Boseman’s last performance is haunting, transformative, and magnetic. The same can be said about Viola Davis’ performance, which is a surprise to no one, but this is really Chadwick’s vehicle. I just wish the directing was as interesting as the acting. This film was adapted from an August Wilson play, and directorially it was treated like a play, which doesn’t necessarily translate that well to film. The space around the actors wasn’t really utilized, and the way it was shot was pretty lackluster and static; oftentimes, the only interesting thing to look at in a scene was an actor’s performance. Maybe I’ve just been a little obsessed with Steve McQueen’s directing style lately, but this movie probably would’ve been five stars for me (instead of the four-and-a-half I gave it) if it was directed by him.

December 19, 2020: LONG TOAST (Dir. Karsten Runquist)

Fuck yeah, Karsten Runquist! Shout out to his monthly “what I watched in [insert month]” videos for giving me the inspiration to write this. 

December 23, 2020: LET IT SNOW (Dir. Luke Snellin)

Weirdly enough, this may be one of my favorite Christmas movies. There’s nothing all that remarkable about it, but it has a sweet, simple holiday vibe with innocent performances and low stakes. I don’t really ask a lot for Christmas movies, and this pretty much delivers.

December 25, 2020: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DREAM ANALYSIS (Dir. Rian Johnson)

This short film from Rian Johnson is the earliest thing I could find of his filmography on Letterboxd, and it was a pretty engaging watch. It was essentially all of Johnson’s quirks as a director condensed into ten minutes. It reminded me of those trippy short stories you had to read in middle school.

December 26, 2020: PLUS ONE (Dir. Jeff Chan & Andrew Rhymer)

I’ve seen a lot of rom-coms - like, an ungodly amount - and my love-hate affair with this genre has made me realize that predictability isn’t the issue with rom-coms (a lot of genres are very, very predictable). The issue is a lack of authenticity. Yes, this film is predictable, but it’s authentic. The humor in this movie actually feels like something that would happen in real life, not something heavily contrived or exaggerated for the sake of entertainment. I don’t have anything against the contrived and exaggerated, but it’s refreshing to see comedy being delivered so naturally in this genre. Plus One also has a more realistic (but still sweet) perspective on love and relationships which you don’t normally see in any genre.

December 27, 2020: THE HALF OF IT (Dir. Alice Wu)

I watched this at the beginning of the year and didn’t enjoy it all that much - partly because I was in the closet and aaaah girls kissing aaaaaah - and partly because I just thought it was boring. On a second viewing, I really appreciated it more. I think it’s the smartest and most well-shot movie directed toward teens that I’ve seen on Netflix. Although the script can be a bit pretentious, it’s directed in a way that doesn’t feel like it’s either trying to be too indie or like an hour and fourty-five minute long single-camera sitcom episode. The character of Ellie is also a really interesting and nuanced character, and a good example of how to write and portray queerness on screen.

December 27, 2020: TAYLOR SWIFT - FOLKLORE: THE LONG POND STUDIO SESSIONS (Dir. Taylor Swift)

I would die for Taylor Swift and/or Jack Antonoff.

December 28, 2020: MANK (Dir. David Fincher)

I went into this movie as a) someone who has never seen a David Fincher film, and b) someone who has never seen Citizen Kane. Unsurprisingly, Mank was definitely not my thing. That doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it. It’s a fucking good-looking movie. But it’s kind of like the himbo of movies - it’s nice to look at, but there’s not much going on underneath. I’m hearing this complaint from a lot of people: it’s a technical masterpiece, but it feels pretty damn hollow. Personally, it’s not enough for me to recognize that a film looks and sounds good - I have to care about and know the human beings within it in order for me to think that it’s a good movie. To me, a film is only as good as the emotional relevance of its story, but sadly emotional relevance is where Mank falls short.

What movies kept you sane during 2020? Let me know!

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 4

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 5,361 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Also on ff.net and AO3.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Thanks for your patience, here's part 4~

See me here in the air Not holding on to anywhere But holding on so beware I have secrets I won't share

-t.A.T.u., "Clowns (Can You See Me Now?)"

Then.

“Psst.  Hey look over there, it’s that Brown girl.”

“The one hanging out with the freak in computer class?  You think they’re dating?”

“Ew, gross.”

“You know I heard she got knocked up by some loser in high school.  I bet she has like, no standards.”

“Wow, what a skank. So she’ll sleep with anyone, huh?”

Look who’s talking, Queen Jezebel.

Stephanie tried her best to ignore the snobby gathering of rich sorority girls as they gossiped and giggled loudly behind her back in the gymnasium locker room, mingling and clinging onto the clear alpha’s authority.  Hiding and huddling under a protective umbra, umbrella safety in numbers.  …So much for college being better than high school when it came to cliques and bullying.

As they passed by her change station – all the adulating acolytes swarming around their leader like an amoeba – one appendage broke away from the buzzing cluster just far enough to bump blatantly into her bare shoulder.

“Whoops.  Sorry.”

The drone drawled in an excessively sarcastic tone that didn’t sound sincere at all, to the observant master’s smug approval.

Really, just like high school.

As tempted as she was to make a snide remark on the obvious imbalanced power dynamics, Stephanie managed to swallow her pride and suppress retort.  Biting her tongue until they were out of sight, upon which she stuck it out in an equally mature gesture in their wake.

“So like anyway, I hear this new gym opened up on the outskirts downtown.  It’s kinda out of the way – like, by the boonies almost – but apparently the instructor there is really hot.”

Stephanie couldn’t catch the statement that ensued, as the distance between them had already advanced to the point their fading words were muffled by rows of metal.  There was a shrill burst of shrieking laughter before they exited though, harpy peals mixed with a round of half-appalled gasps, rebounding and resounding raucously off steel.  Odd, she could’ve sworn she heard something about pirates…?

She sighed and shrugged as she got dressed, wiping the workout sweat from her face with a towel and pulling her sweatshirt over her sports bra.  She didn’t much mind being lumped in with the outcast crowd; frankly she was used to being looked down upon by others by now, but the derisive comments still stung her self-esteem – especially when she was already having a bad day, due in part to being so bluntly turned down by the public pariah she was supposedly “associated” with.

Face it, girl, not even the “freak” is interested in you. What were you even thinking, blurting out something stupid like that.  It must’ve come off as totally desperate; someone as smart as him probably doesn’t want to bother spending time with some dumb blonde chick who can’t even find her way around campus anyway.

She had come here to blow off some steam after being grilled on her grades in addition to the above gaffe, but now thanks to those sickening sycophants she was sorely reminded of her own poor social – and subsequently intellectual – standing.  Missing culture and class (in all senses) often made her an easy scapegoat, much as she endeavored to rise above those who stooped to such low level of insult in order to make themselves appear somehow more “sophisticated”.  She couldn’t help being a bit ruffled though, bile riling spitefully in her stomach as self-doubt simultaneously rolled about her conscience.

I mean come on, who are you even kidding?  All you’re really good at is PE and pretending to be from a decent background instead of another broken dysfunctional family.  Doesn’t matter what his type is, he’s way out of your league.

While she normally tried to cover up lack of conviction with clever wit, this was just the newest in a long series of successive failures (though it certainly didn’t top the ultimate blunder she’d made once).  Chalk another one up to the slew of screw-ups and setbacks that plagued throughout her past, piling up to the point she may as well be called the Leaning Tower of “Please Kick Me”.   Despite exertions to deny at least one side of her upbringing, the dominoes were stacked against her since birth.  Any psychoanalyst worth his salt (assuming she could even afford one) would point to a mess of complications stemming from childhood, starting with “daddy dearest”. Freud would likely have a field day with her “father figure” fixation – in the more negative than positive association. While both parental “role models” had problems with neglect in the past, it was the paternal ones that particularly persisted.  Thanks to her poor excuse for a pop, she’d suffered her share of blows (both emotional and physical) that defeated and deflated a daughter’s dignity, culminating in a personal vendetta against crime and clueless adults who can’t even properly take care of their kids.  (Which in itself was one of the reasons she sadly but firmly determined in the end to give her own offspring up for adoption.)

Objectively, it was no wonder she had terrible luck – if not taste – with men, chasing endlessly after a string of doomed relationships (and consequently consecutive rejections), sought as a self-diagnosed surrogate to replace the male attention and affection she never received growing up.  …So she idly acknowledged the full irony of the situation when, in order to distract from her dejection, she considered the inadvertent advertisement mentioned earlier as a potential solace.

Maybe I’ll go ogle some eyecandy for peace of mind.

She had promised her mom she’d come home for the weekend after all.  She could stop by on her way, scope the – ahem – place out a bit.  From the sound of the discussion, it was located fairly close to the suburbs, and establishing affiliation with an exercise facility near her neighborhood would be pretty convenient during vacations, compared to commuting back and forth like she did in high school.  (Having a certified hunk for a fitness instructor as well would just be a nice bonus, icing on the cake.  Given her strict regimen, surely she deserved to treat herself to some confectionary “consolation” on the side.)

…When she stepped off the bus in the middle of Gotham’s busiest shopping district though, she realized she probably should’ve done more research into its exact whereabouts first.

Dear Diary, remind me to print out directions next time.  Or at least a map.

As she wandered hopelessly through the streets, now without the benefit of a guide or even a destination address to go by, eventually probing enough passersby bore fruit.  By the time she arrived there though (out of breath as if she had already run a marathon), the sun was starting to set.  Craning her neck to gaze up at the building sign towering above her, she snorted slightly at the lofty title.

“Out of the Nest Aerial” – what a weird name.

A bell chimed as she entered, alerting a man who was bent over some boxes in the back of the lobby (which smelled of fresh paint and renovation), apparently busy packing away some materials.  He must’ve been surprised by a customer at this late hour, as she caught a cursory lift of his (lean yet muscular) arm to glance at a wristwatch.  Still, he called pleasantly over his shoulder:

“Be right with you in a moment.”

Eyeing the robust frame of his behind, she assured:

“Ah, take your time.”

donotstareathisbuttdonotstareathisbuttdonotstareathisbutt

Damn, those gals seriously weren’t kidding about the view.  …As the ass-umed target of their talk turned around though, she realized what they must have been chatting about that set off such a funny fit, following screeches with shushes.  Steph felt her own face flush as she admonished herself for inappropriately zoning in from one conspicuous feature to another.

donotstareathiseyedonotstareathiseyedonotstareathiseye

Despite the discernible… “deficiency” in the other’s visual department, the defect didn’t detract from his overall attractiveness, magnetic movie star looks unmarred by partial eclipse. One shining moon’s force of gravity was sufficient enough to draw her into its depths.  …If anything the shadow blocking the opposite sun’s reflection only enhanced his handsome appeal by augmenting an alluring air of mystique and intrigue – a Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mysterious if she ever saw one.  Hell, the rest of his heavenly body’s figure was practically flawless, revealing the results of what must’ve amounted to years of intense physical training.  Aside from deducing self-discipline as part of his personality, he carried himself with the convivial charisma of a cheerful showman presenting some grand performance (which she vaguely recollected from her father’s former game show hosting days). A voguish comportment vaguely cobbled from the kinds of classy male caricatures generally seen strutting on red carpet catwalks, peacocks fanning their feathers for their – in this case – drabber female counterparts (fans who would squeal and fall over themselves with glee if given a chance to even get within vicinity, let alone dare to lay claim of victory).  Suave and stylish – if slightly synthetic.  All preened plumage and perfect poses, placid and practiced.  Like plastic roses, permanently planted for all to adore – parading proud and prominent down a promenade.  Whose upbeat character’s charm was hardly diminished as he grinned gregariously in greeting, the gorgeousness of such a stunning smile more than making up for any handicap.  …Although she noted the guy’s gait seemed somewhat rigid for somebody of his stature, walking with a minor limp towards her.  Her blush deepened as he approached, exuding a masculine musk as his powerful paw extended to shake.

“Welcome.  How can I help you, miss…?”

“Brown.  Stephanie Brown.”  She babbled rapidly, tongue tying again as she tripped over her response. “Nice booty- I mean, nice butt- I mean, nice to meet you.  …You know what, I’m so sorry, I’m just gonna go.”

Fortunately, he seemed to take the semi-suggestive (if perhaps politically incorrect) comment in stride, simply chuckling aloud with unalloyed aplomb.

“Trust me, I’ve heard it all.  Richard Grayson, at your service.”  The dreamboat flourished a forgiving bow, adding with a flirtatious smirk:  “You can call me Dick though, all the ladies do.”

ohmygod please stop

“Um, I was wondering if I could check you out-” She hastily checked herself again.  “Er, check out your equipment?”  God, why did that still sound so embarrassing to say.  “I was thinking of signing up to join if you’ve got memberships available.”

“Sure, although we usually close around this time.  Was just about to lock up soon actually.  I’ll make an exception for such a lovely little lady though.”

Red crept further onto her cheeks.  “Thanks, I’ll just take a quick peek.”

He nodded.  “Feel free to look around, most of our stuff’s upstairs. Would you like me to give you a special tour?”

“N-no, that’s okay.”

She squeaked, subduing an internal squee.

“All right.  Let me know if you need anything.”

She skipped swiftly up the steps, heart skipping beats.  Today was turning out to be a pretty good day after all.

When she reached the upper floor though, she stopped short to see someone was unexpectedly there before her: the very person she had intentionally come to forget about.

What’s he doing here?

He didn’t seem to notice her presence, focused intently on a pair of uneven horizontal bars before him. Muttering something to himself under his breath, clenching his fists and flexing a few times.  After the limbering stretch, he inhaled deeply before charging at his opponent, clearing the first hurdle with ease by using it as a springboard. He appeared to have some trouble latching onto the second, but managed to rectify his grip in time, righting himself as he swung up and over in a circle.  Adjusting his center of weight, he settled into a handstand, still facing away from her.  Gradually, he removed one palm from the pipe, impressively relying on a single limb’s strength to maintain balance.

A memory pricked in the back of her mind.  Gotham High. After dusk.  An empty gymnasium.  She had forgotten her homework at school after practice, so she hopped on her scooter and raced back.  As she neared the gym though, she heard a groaning crash within, followed by an angry curse. Poking her head cautiously through the door crack, she spotted someone lying prostrate on the floormat beneath the parallel beams (which were presumably set up again by said individual after having already been put away prior), alarmingly appearing unconscious.   At first she panicked, and was about to run and call for an ambulance when the comatose corpse stirred, sluggishly staggering to its feet.  Despite dragging them a little, he wobbled over to take previous position at the end of the pad.  Stabilizing himself, he waited a minute for dizziness to dwindle before tumbling and backflipping across the entire expanse, vaulting high into the air to land – almost, but not quite – on the mark.

While she winced in his place, he merely picked himself up and gave it another go, repeating the routine over and over, for what felt like hours.  She stood there and watched with silent marvel, gaping in spellbound, slackjawed awe at each graceful arc and twist, utterly mesmerized by this bizarre boy’s sheer determination to get it all precisely right – nearly bordering on desperate, if not suicidal.  No matter how many times he tried though (nevermind shocking disregard for the quantity of bruises gained in the process), each attempt produced little improvement.  Even if he managed to successfully pull off the whole maneuver, his hands shook so much upon descent that he still slipped off the perch – almost as if some part of his subconscious were involuntarily compelling himself to hold back.  Finally, he kicked the dual poles over in frustration, storming off towards the outlet.  She hurriedly ducked around a corner, but was able to get a good glimpse at his visage before he vanished.

She knew his name straightaway from face alone; everyone did.  She’d seen him around in the halls, heard the whispered rumors, but had never spoken to him before.  Most people strove to avoid interacting with the “world class weirdo” if they could help it, and his raging outburst at the end was admittedly a bit disturbing.  …But the bitter expression of disappointment he wore as he glumly gave up became burned into her brain, ingraining irritation on his behalf.  He evidently possessed extraordinary talent, yet still wasn’t satisfied with himself. (Her own signature moves paled in comparison, and not even the most senior members on the team could come close to the caliber of coordination and dexterity – let alone stamina – required to execute the intricacy of the initial sequence.)  No one else seemed to recognize his raw skills either; or rather, he didn’t allow anyone to witness them for whatever reason.  When he showed up to class the next day sporting so many injuries, everyone speculated how the infamous “delinquent” must have gotten into some kind of brawl outside of school, and steered clear even further.  He didn’t say anything in his defense, but she found herself privately lamenting the misunderstood look of loneliness in his eyes – that in a way felt so achingly familiar from when she’d spend her mornings carefully concealing her “loving” dad’s last night beatings with makeup in the mirror.

Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to openly express sympathetic sentiment.  She had her own pressing business to attend to, as shortly after that she discovered she was pregnant.  Her louse of a boyfriend had already long broken up with her, dumped and ditched to fend for herself as soon as the quake of ’09 hit, fleeing like a coward while she stayed to try and help other survivors.  Not only that, he completely skipped town in the aftermath – coincidentally for the entire duration of her gestation period – only coming back when chaos died down and the coast was clear, in all contexts.  After she gave birth, he actually had the gall to try and get back together with her, but she kicked him hard in a certain place and then punched him in the face – twice – when he wouldn’t stay down.  (Okay, so admittedly she was taking out more aggravation at herself; maybe he didn’t thoroughly deserve the brunt of such brutal treatment, but she hadn’t had the best experience with guys who refused to take “no” for an answer either.)

While the calamity exposed some awful realities about human nature, she wasn’t the only one who chose to remain behind to aid relief efforts.  Among the scattered, smattering handful of Samaritan citizens left, she had observed another teen around her age (maybe a little younger, if his size was anything to go by).  Although for an excruciating amount of time, he seemed frozen absolute, suspended animation amidst the burning wreckage.  Glazed pupils in a trance, as if unable to process surroundings – before snapping out of stunned stupor into action.  Festinating, fighting frantically through the frightened crowd, urgently racing to rescue as many as he could from the rubble.  At one point he even recklessly risked his own life to dive under a crumbling, unstable column, reacting on impulse in order to save a small child from the structure as it collapsed.  He almost looked more terrified than the toddler afterwards, whole mass trembling (and not just from the aftershock tremors), but he held the crying kid close and soothingly promised it would be okay, that they’d find his parents, that they were okay.  He was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

She didn’t learn who he was until later, when she and the majority of the refugee student body were relocated to Gotham Heights High nearby, since their own cheap institution was devastated beyond immediate repair.  (Eventually it would be rebuilt and renamed, dedicated in honor of the late Mayor Hamilton Hill, who perished during the upheaval.)  The noble sacrifice that stranger demonstrated on that day seemed a stark contrast to his cold reputation, and she admired wonderingly from afar, confused as to how someone could portray two totally different impressions in such a short span.  Deep down, she was sure the brave hero she saw emerge back then was but a flicker of the real self buried underneath frigid fortress’s exterior, convinced that a closed off heart was far kinder and more courageous than the owner let on.

At any rate, she had enough concerns on her own plate for the time being, dealing with the “reminder” her ex had left her of their time spent together.  While she tried to keep the matter discreet, there was no way she could hide such a (literally) huge secret forever – from her mom or from faculty. When the truth came out, some of her (idiot) friends thought it was cool she was having a baby, envying the attention and constant excused absences.  Others displayed their disdainful opinions on the affair, albeit in a more “indirect” manner.  Maybe they were also jealous, or more likely her teammates were mad at her for having missed so many meetings under the pretense of “not feeling well” – only to announce she was officially taking an extended leave right before the big tournament, forcing them to scramble to redo the group floor routine.  (They were already reluctant to let a transfer “rival” join, even though she had easily wowed their coach during tryouts.)  Either way, she arrived one day to find her temp hallway locker coated in graffiti, resentful remarks ranging from “slacker” to “slut”. There were worse labels as the list went on, effectively exhausting the devil’s dictionary:

Bitch.

Bimbo.

Tramp.

Trollop.

Hussy.

Harlot.

Whore.

Dreg.

Some of the comments were so harsh and hurtful she couldn’t – didn’t want to believe they came from anybody she knew.  Given the setting’s free access and availability, anyone could’ve written (and read) those things.  So rather than instantly alert authority, she resolved to stake out between breaks to see if any vandals returned to the scene of the crime.  …By the end of the day though, no one had come forward to gloat or claim responsibility.  She was about to resign herself to letting the culprit(s) go when he of all people suddenly turned up in the vacant corridor – carrying a spraycan.  Crushed by the thought he could’ve been involved – that he was really no better than his hoodlum image – she nearly called him out then and there to give a piece of her mind… when she noticed he was also holding a rag in his other hand.

He had brought cleaning supplies.

Quickly and quietly, he set to work, applying solvent and scrubbing away all the abusive slurs, leaving the cubby sparkling new.  He promptly departed without a word, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. She didn’t know quite what to make of this random act; lending assistance in a crisis was one thing, but for someone to go out of his way to do her a favor when they weren’t even acquaintances went well above and beyond altruism in its own merit.  (It was possible he was erasing evidence out of remorse, but somehow she doubted that.)

She never did get a chance to ask him about it – or to thank him – as her mother marched straight into the administration office upon hearing of the incident and pulled her out for the remainder of the semester, insisting on homeschooling – at least until the fetus finished its own term.  Steph had never seen her looking so strong as in that moment.  The scathing, scolding speech and matronly outline she sharply cut were striking, if somewhat startling.  Their relationship had always been rather rocky, what with the pill addiction and alcoholism and all-around abandonment, but almost losing one’s daughter in a nigh-apocalyptic event tends to put things in perspective.  Maybe she felt guilty for not fully being there for her up through adolescence, blaming herself for any shortcomings.  She took the catastrophe itself as a sign of self-punishment, almost as if it were own fault rather than Mother Nature’s.

Whatever the motive, she really tried after that to make up for lost contact, God bless her.  She got clean – for good this time – started working double shifts at the hospital to pay for damages to the house, all the while singly supporting Stephanie through the labor and adoption proceedings.  Even went on a diet and lost some weight, though they still made sure to set aside time to eat waffles together every morning. Steph wasn’t sure why the woman specifically chose something that only offered empty carbs as their “healthy” bonding agent (she supposed since it was a warm, go-to comfort food; personally she was partial to mashed potatoes herself), but it became tradition, and it stuck – as did their adherence to each other, nonartificial sweetness strengthened with syrup.

When she returned to school, she was mildly more anxious to face friends than foes; to that end, she wasn’t even sure where on the spectrum “that person” lay.  (Incidentally, she gathered he’d also spent some time “away” in the interim, which didn’t do much to dispel his shameful status.)  At this forgone stage, she was uncertain how to broach topics long past to someone she’d still never even had a conversation with.  Plus he always seemed so… difficult to approach, exuding an overwhelmingly daunting lone wolf aura. Finding courage or commonality to confront him was a bold challenge, and she always awkwardly lost her nerve whenever she came close.

Despite his history of misconduct, he was perceptibly bright – brilliant even – when it came to academics. His high exam scores earned him enrollment in accelerated classes in their senior year (although even then it seemed like he was still withholding some superior source of knowledge, moderating only enough surface energy to scrape by), and the advanced placement ahead of her only broadened the unattainable distance between them, no matter how hard she struggled to catch up…  Which made it all the more astonishing that, in the end, he’d willingly accepted a spot in the same local state college rather than a private university.  One might then cynically accuse her of seizing opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, but it was purely by chance she happened to secure a practical arrangement that put them in rough proximity.  Ostensibly though, the only other times their paths managed to fleetingly cross outside of lecture hall took place behind separate, if adjacent bookshelves – until today’s accidental encounter, that is.

As she retrospectively looked on, it seemed he couldn’t sustain the stance for long, dropping posture to hang upside-down for a moment before dismounting.  Again, some kind of subliminal instinct seemed to kick in before he hit the ground, and he stumbled with a heated swear.  She clapped politely in appreciation though, and he jolted at the noise.  Swerving, he snapped without warning:

“Damnit, will you quit bugging me?!”

Her hands halted, shocked by the sudden shout.  He blinked as he registered the spectator, growing more mortified as he became aware of his error.

“Shit.  Sorry, I- thought you were someone else.”

“It’s okay.  I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He gulped and shuffled uneasily, steadying respiration before attempting to start over.

“So.  It’s you again, huh.”

Hello to you too.

“Hey.  Fancy meeting you here.  We just keep running into each other today, don’t we?”  She ventured what she hoped came off as a friendly jibe to defuse tension, though there was some genuine suspicion behind it.  “You wouldn’t be secretly stalking me, would you?”

He didn’t fall for it. Rather than take the bait, he instead reached casually for a water bottle on the bench beside his bookbag, relatively unfazed by the half-serious allegation.

“That’s my line.”  His tone was almost eerily calm compared to before, as he unscrewed the cap and nonchalantly took a swig.  “I could inquire the same of you, I’ve got a legitimate reason to be here.”

“Oh really.  And what would that be?”

He jerked his head towards the staircase, jabbing a thumb for emphasis.  “The guy downstairs?  He’s my older brother.”

She squinted, distinguishing some physical resemblance now that he brought it up.   “You two are related?”

That… explains a lot actually.

“Not by blood,” he clarified.  “He was also adopted by Mr. Wayne at one point, so technically that makes us step-siblings.”

There was a pronounced privation of fondness in the terse, formal way he delicately articulated their former guardian’s designation, tongue tart and taut as a tightrope.  She hazily recalled reading about the second sensation in the tabloids at the time (alongside an exposé detailing the new ward’s scandalous criminal record).

“Oh right, I saw a, um, documentary on T.V. about that.  …Wait, you mean he’s Grayson as in ‘The Flying Graysons’?  The famous circus act?”

“You didn’t see all the posters in the lobby?”

He pointed over her shoulder at a giant flyer pasted over partition, the enormous wall scroll unambiguously inflating the centerpiece’s ego.

“…Ah.  Guess I must’ve been, er, distracted.”

Irises rolled in exasperation, as if expecting such a reply.  “He tends to have that effect on people.”

Curious concentration transferred from the glossy print back to him as he begrudgingly murmured this. Hard to think the two were connected to each other, if tangentially.  Like day and night, they were.  Tentatively, she tried to gear the dialogue in a different direction, nudging towards an encouraging compliment.

“So that’s how you picked up all the acrobatic stuff?”

“Uh- yeah.  Something like that.”  He winced and rubbed the back of his neck, still seeming uncomfortable with the subject.

“You’re really good at it. That was pretty amazing, what you did just now.  You should consider joining the gymnastics team, the males’ division could probably use some support.  I hear it’s in danger of being cut to provide more funding for contact sports.”  She scoffed inwardly.  Like those jocks need any more budget.

He simply shrugged. “I’m not that great.  My brother’s better.”  …It was pretty plain to see he had a heavily severe inferiority complex. Remarkably though, sourness seemed to subside as a reminiscent, reverent mist remotely shrouded his vision, looking longingly at the faded ruby and gold costume.  “You know he’s the only person in the world who can perform a quadruple somersault?”  There was a touch of envious excitement in his tenor as he placed a hand on the worn placard, smoothing over wrinkles in the parchment.  “…Or he used to be anyway, before the- accident.”

“…Is that also how he lost his eye?”

The clouded veil instantaneously evaporated.

“Sorry.  Was just wondering.”

A voice emanated from the stairwell:

“It’s all right.  I don’t mind you asking.”

The two turned to see the proprietor poised at the top of stairs, leaning over the railing as he took in the picture with an inscrutable countenance.

“It happened during the quake.   Was trying to help some victims trapped in a bus underneath the highway.  Got hit by falling debris in an aftershock.  …Pretty dumb, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that. That was really heroic of you.”

Meanwhile, her other company said nothing, but shot a peculiar look at his brother, who merely beamed benignly back.  There was a blank, stony sort of quality to both their semblances though. Impenetrable.  Stephanie had the inexplicable feeling she was intruding on some mute, confidential exchange between the two, and decided now would probably be a good time to excuse herself.

“…Anyway, would you look at the time.  Guess I should get going.  It’s getting late, and my mom’s expecting me.”

“Of course.  Thank you for stopping by, we hope to see you back again.”

“I’m sure you will.  …Oh, one more question before I go: How do I get to Widowstone Creek from here?”

A brief description of bearings later, Stephanie strolled out the door, now confidently armed with coordinates.  The manager waved with a sunny smile as she left – though it might’ve been her imagination, but the salutation seemed a tad subdued as opposed to earlier reception.

“Bye now!  Take care.”

He subtly elbowed his younger sibling, who sullenly put up a lethargic hand as well.

“Bye.”

Really, could those two be any more different.

The sky had grown grim, but she was still able to navigate her way around well enough as she approached an area she was accustomed to.  She had been right about the place being close to her house, it shouldn’t take her long to get there.  …Although now that she knew where she was headed, she opted at the last minute to cut through a back alley to get to her block without further delay – which turned out to be a colossal, costly mistake.

“Well well, what have we here?”

Stephanie stiffened as she heard the thrum of throaty sniggers and motorbikes, headlights peering through the gloom as they illuminated a score of whitewashed faces, arrayed in garish garb; bright polka dot and patchwork patterns that were even more blinding (like looking through a psychedelic kaleidoscope, or experiencing a bad trip on some of her mom’s pills).  She would’ve been amused by their gaudy guises, if not for the gleaming assortment of weapons they wielded: knives, chains, clubs, hammers, pipes, bats, and of all things – a spiked rubber chicken, which was the only thing that didn’t seem ridiculously out of place in this scenario.  (Scratch that, they still looked ridiculous.)  Brazenly brandishing rusted iron and brass to match their brash appearance, lurid and leering.  She’d seen reports of their mischievous miscreant behavior on the news, but had never directly run into them before.  Outlying residential regions weren’t typically their turf.  …But of course today had to be the day they chose to terrorize her territory instead.

Dear Diary, remind me never to try taking a shortcut again. …Assuming I even make it out of this mess alive, that is.

She thought as she backed up slowly, finding herself fenced in by whooping hyenas, sneering and snickering as they encircled their prey.  A gang of hellion hooligans, rebel riffraff risen up out of the ashes and anarchy following the cataclysm – even more enormous fashion disasters taking after their borrowed namesake:

Jokerz.

Clowns are here to let you know Where you let your senses go Clowns all around you It's a cross I need to bear

[miuplays]

Miu’s Games of the Decade

Hello all! Wishing you a Happy New Year wherever you are in the world! It’s already January 1st where I am, but I’m sure people are still counting down in other parts of the world. But anywho! I wanted to end the year with a celebration of some of my favorite games released this decade. The 2010’s have been an incredible year for video games, I think. With strides made in graphics, scale, and storytelling, I think this has been easily one of the most innovative eras on all fronts. I hope you enjoy this list of a few of my favorites, and hopefully some of your favorites are here as well! If not, make a list of your own and share it with me! I’d love to see some of your opinions.

But without further ado, on to the countdown…

2010 – FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS

This game, for me, set the standard for what every RPG game should be. From its worldbuilding, to character interactions and on-the-nose commentary, to the way it expands the Fallout universe both mechanically and through storytelling. Of all the Fallout games, this is the one that left the biggest impact on me, and it’s the one I still reflect on to this day.

Honorable Mentions – Bayonetta, Red Dead Redemption, Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2

2011 – DRAGON AGE II

So I looooove Dragon Age. It’s, in my opinion, one of the best RPG franchises ever made, and this game in particular is easily my favorite in the series. The writing is at its best, and every character is so loveable that I found myself playing it multiple times just so I could romance everybody. Despite some structural issues in the overall story, I still consider it to be one of the most memorable in the franchise, and I don’t regret a single hour put into this campaign.

Honorable Mentions – Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Dark Souls, Portal 2, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

2012 – DISHONORED

As RPG-heavy as this list is, I do wanna give some love to immersive sims. Another favorite genre of mine, and Dishonored is by and large one of the best. I found myself entangled in a number of sticky situations that I had to sleuth and stealth my way out of one too many times. Yet they somehow managed to make that the best part of the game. Player freedom and creativity are practically the foundation of this game, and it’s something that made this game not only an enjoyable and unique experience the first time around, but its replay value is through the roof. I do think that later installments in the series, as well as other immersive sim games like Prey, definitely improved upon this one in a lot of areas. But regardless, I still really enjoyed Dishonored, and I’m holding out hope for the future of the series.

Honorable Mentions – Sleeping Dogs, Mass Effect 3, Borderlands 2, The Walking Dead

2013 – THE LAST OF US

I’m sure you’re all surprised, but yes. The Last of Us is my GOTY for 2013, and possibly my favorite game of all time. Before playing this, I’ve never had a game put me in such a state of emotional duress for an extended period of time. Not even MGS3’s ending did what this game did to me. And even as I’m typing this, I realize that the technical aspects of this game—the graphics, mechanics, level design, etc.—aren’t what makes it stand out in my opinion. My favorite part of this game has to be the journey. The connection between Ellie and Joel (two characters so brilliantly portrayed by Ashley Johnson and Troy Baker). My love for these characters and my desire to see them succeed despite all of the hardships and challenging decisions they were faced with. That’s why I love this game. It is, for me, the most incredible storytelling experience I’ve ever had.

Honorable Mentions – Grand Theft Auto V, Tomb Raider, The Wolf Among Us, Injustice: Gods Among Us

2014 – BAYONETTA 2

The Queen has made it onto this list, and I have nothing but praise for the greatest hack n’ slash game ever made. Character design? Stellar. Combat system? Robust, intricate, and absolutely flaw-fucking-free. Improves upon its predecessor in every way imaginable and still remains as stylish and fun as ever? 100%.

If you haven’t played this game yet, please stop reading this and go play this game. It is… phenomenal.

Honorable Mentions – Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dark Souls II, Alien: Isolation, Tales from the Borderlands

2015 – THE WITCHER 3: WILD HUNT

What can I say about this game that hasn’t already been said, like, 9 million times…?

It’s legendary. Simply put. A flawless and unforgettable RPG experience that simply cannot be replicated. Also, I would die for Yennefer. And Ciri of Cintra is the love of my life.

Honorable Mentions – Bloodborne, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, Life is Strange, Mortal Kombat X

2016 – HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER

The only indie game on this list, but its spot is well deserved. What has always set video games apart from other storytelling mediums is interactivity. Despite this, I feel like most games still rely on heavy dialogue and cinematic cutscenes in order to spin its narrative. Which is why I’m so appreciative of games like this, where art and exploration are key to understanding the world and the happenings around you. Hyper Light Drifter is a gorgeous game, with challenging combat and beautiful, stylish music and design that will have you feeling both nostalgic and mesmerized. Even in its quieter moments the game remains so rich and thoughtful, and even now it’s hard to decipher my feelings afterwards. A mixture of melancholy, delight, and solace. It’s a journey I thoroughly enjoyed taking.

Honorable Mentions – DOOM, Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, Titanfall 2, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

2017 – HORIZON: ZERO DAWN

This year was a solid year for games, which made this decision insanely difficult… but after a lot of deliberating, I decided to go with my gut. Aloy stole my heart the moment she came on the screen. She’s an incredible leading lady who’s strong, determined, complicated, and layered in ways that both intrigued me and that I could relate to. But beyond just my crush on the game’s protagonist, the scope of this game is just… fantastic. The way they mixed post-apocalyptic tribalism with futuristic technology, the physics of every monster you encounter being so dynamic that every battle feels viscerally intense, even just the combat mechanics and how much effort was put into designing Aloy’s bow and her diversity of combat options, I’m just so!!!! In LOVE with this game!!!!!!!

Honorable Mentions –Tekken 7, Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Butterfly Soup

2018 – GOD OF WAR

Yet another game that I’ve showered in so much praise that I don’t think there’s anything left for me to say about it anymore. This game is flawless for a number of reasons. Its meticulously crafted combat system, amazing graphics, beautiful character and game design, gorgeous score, and seamless transitions from action to story that make it feel like a film taken in one single camera shot are all key selling points. But what sold me on this game, and makes it my top pick for this year, was its compelling narrative. The story is one that’s very personal to me. I felt for them and their loss at the very start of the game. I resonated with Atreus and his struggles to connect with his father. And I understood Kratos’ inner battle with coming to terms with who he is and the things he’s done, and trying to be the father his son deserves. I related to these things, as they resembled all to closely the relationship I had with my own mom. God of War moved me in more ways than one, and I’m very thankful that this game exists. I felt like it was my own story being told on that screen as well.

Also… the boss fights are just so fucking fun.

Honorable Mentions – Spider-Man (PS4), Red Dead Redemption 2, Gris, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

2019 – RESIDENT EVIL 2: REMAKE

This may be a more controversial pick considering the amount of quality games that came out this year, and I know most of my viewers were probably expecting Control or The Outer Worlds to be here considering how much I hyped those games up. But in my defense, Resident Evil 2 was already one of my all-time favorite games, and this remake nothing short of a masterpiece. To me, it’s what every horror game should be. The atmosphere is dark yet engrossing. Every aspect of design, from sounds to levels to enemies, make this one of the scariest horror games I’ve ever played, all without relying on jumpscares, or grotesque imagery (although there’s plenty of that as well, it’s not what makes the experience so horrifying imo). It’s one of the most beautifully crafted survival horrors, while manages to improve upon the original while still remaining faithful to it. I consider it a masterclass in how to approach any remake. Capcom truly earned back my trust with this one.

Honorable Mentions – Control, Katana ZERO, The Outer Worlds, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

And so concludes the list! I hope you enjoyed reading, despite how lengthy it got. I wanted to get out as much praise as I could because every game listed here deserves it. I’m in love with every single one, including so many more that weren’t mentioned. It was truly an amazing decade for gamers and game developers alike, and I’m nothing but optimistic for the future.

See you all next year.

– ミウ。

[shenmeizhuang-blog]

10 + 11 questions tag

Great thanks and acknowledgments to @letsflytoasiarenata and @belladonna2017 for sending me questions! So, here goes: 

A. Always post the rules. Answer the questions then write (10 or 11?) new ones.

B. Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Tell the person who tagged you that you’ve answered their questions.

My questions: 

Favorite villain or antagonist.

Favorite character trope/archetype.

Least favorite character trope/archetype.

Least favorite drama trope.

Name a character that you initially disliked but came to love.

Favorite multi-season drama?

Favorite example of trope dissection/dispellation. 

Favorite time travel drama.

Choose a period drama, sageuk, or wuxia that you would like to time travel to.

Historical event/time period/historical figure(s) that you want to see a show explore.

Name a show with the best (most intensive yet reasonable/plausible) plot twists. 

Favourite historical period in sageuks/wuxia?

This question made me ponder for a bit, since because the center stage of most wuxias is jianghu, or the pugilistic world, largely defined as “a sub-society isolated from mainstream or governmental law”, henceforth most wuxias largely feel timeless, with no specific historical dynasty or time period adhered to the story. Granted, there are some fusions centered around court politics that acknowledge the pugilistic world and combine certain wuxia elements – Nirvana in Fire (fictionalized Northern and Southern Dynasties) rather heavily features wuxia elements, and The Glory of Tang Dynasty (Tang Dynasty) more minimally, but also somewhat. 

I suppose it’s a moot point, since upcoming xianxia wuxia Martial Universe is set in the “culturally vibrant Spring & Autumn Era”, but essentially – generally I actually don’t care about what time period a wuxia is set in. 

Now, if we’re talking about a historical period in general, I’ve noticed that dramas I’ve enjoyed have tended to take place in the Qing Dynasty (not to mention Manchurian blood runs throughout my veins) – it feels like an appropriate mix of various different ethnic influences, from Mongolian and Manchurian to Han to even some Western influence. (In theory, I would imagine myself enjoying non-spy Republican dramas, but I actually have not.)

As for sageuks, I have only seen one thus far – set in Goryeo. I didn’t enjoy that drama, but the costuming was pretty. 

Which story/book/show you would like to see adapted in South Korea/China/Japan?

I tend to stray away from remakes, and I tend to not read source novels until after a drama release, largely to avoid disappointment and comparisons (e.g., even reading The Rankings of Lang Ya Hall in preparation for Nirvana in Fire made the latter slightly disappointing). 

But personally, I want a faithful adaptation The Concubine’s Daughter is Poisonous, featuring full-on leg-decapitation, time travel/reincarnation, and bloody revenge. (So, no, The Princess Weiyoung did not do.)

Drama that you watched for your fave and he/she owes you after what you’ve endured for her/him? :D

Swordsman, the Yumama-fication of Jin Young’s The Smiling, Proud Wanderer. But even with Wallace Huo and Joe Chen’s sizzling chemistry, I simply was unable to complete the show. 

More strictly, I somehow completed (or, more like FF-ed in frustration) The Imperial Doctress and The Journey of Flower despite the character-butchering, torture, and sheer WTF-ery of said shows. Thanks, Wallace Huo. :D

I would also complain about Love Me If You Dare, since I think I hung on more for its popularity more than anything, and IMO it sort of went haywire, but it wasn’t *as bad* for me as the ones mentioned above. I have similar sentiments about Perfect Couple. 

Drama that still haunts you?

Do you not see me still suffering from Glory of Tang Dynasty withdrawal? (To be fair, ~ 2 weeks isn’t particularly long, so who knows?)

The Journey of Flower left a rather brutal impression. The Legend of Zhen Huan, Nirvana in Fire, and Bu Bu Jing Xin are definitely shows that will stick with me for a very long time. 

Most stylish drama character in your opinion?

(I have a tendency to think of dramas that I’m currently perusing or obsessing over, so a lot of my answers will definitely feel very GOTD-centric. Just a warning.)

It turns out a lot of my files got cleared out these days, including a bunch of precious caps. But here’s a very nice video on Bilibili featuring Li Chu’s (42, apparently) outfits. 

Drama that you didn’t expect you will enjoy?

Medical Examiner Dr. Qin, since I rarely ever watch crime procedurals, but I honestly adore the show so much. 

Boss And Me, since it seemed to be your typical chaebol-ordinary girl set-up (and it is, but the way they explore and develop ShanTeng feels very heart-warming and much more realistic than expected. <3)

Favourite drama OST’s lyrics?

I’m a fickle, undecisive person, so I actually don’t know which drama OST is my favorite. Here are the lyrics for: Three Inches of Heaven (Bu Bu Jing Xin) and White-Haired Lament (Sound of the Desert). Recently, though, I’ve been drowning myself in 霍尊’s 素颜 (The Glory of Tang Dynasty). Here are my awkwardly translated lyrics: 

你是春的使节 让残雪融解

You are the ambassador of spring, thawing the last residues of snow 

染成青黛的天 等着细雨停歇

Bleeding into the indigo skies, waiting for the drizzle to cease

你素颜  裹着云烟

You, bare-faced, swath the misty clounds

诗意了远方 湿润了心间

[Made] afar poetic; softened the heart

闭上眼 姹紫嫣红都不觉甜

Closed eyes; even the most spectacular colors lack indulgence

只为你的容颜

Only for your appearance

豁然间 春光如恋

At sudden enlightenment, the spring scenery exudes amour

渲染了 你的出现

Romanticizing your emergence

最留恋 不是云巅

The [things] most reluctant to part are not the clouds atop the summit

是千万里朝颜和暮雪

But the flowers and twilight snow thousands of miles apart

梦回间 春光流泻

Revisiting in dreams, the spring scenery spills out 

归去在 落花时节

Returning to the season of falling petals

待离别 青空绵绵

Until parting; the clarity remains unbroken

你会成山水间那一点 如烟

You will become that point between the water and the mountains; as mist

The most memorable quote from a drama?

为何你还要贬我来抬他？

Why would you still belittle me to elevate him?

[One of the many things I love, love about The Glory of Tang Dynasty is the occasional bits of meta they incorporate into the show, sometimes even to dispel certain tropes – especially when comparing characters, most commonly male leads who always seem to be presented as foils of each other, this is always something to keep in mind.]

One thing that you appreciate the most in dramas?

Events occurring at totally coincidentally (un)-perfect timing. 

Slow burn or love at first sight OTP dynamic?

It actually depends. Both are acceptable if executed properly. The childhood trope disguised as “love at first sight” tends to annoy me. 

Favourite remake/adaptation?

Lotus Lantern (2005), adapted from traditional Chinese folklore. 

If you could change one thing about one drama, what would it be?

I just … somehow, fix Jingyao’s arc in Glory of Tang Dynasty. (I don’t know exactly how – since they actually did explore some interesting things and consequences with her character rarely ever shown in period C-dramas ever, I slightly feel inclined to forgive the show for … *coughs*. But for starters, she should really learn to say no to drugging people.)

Who is a popular actor that you can’t seem to get into?

Li Yifeng. (Not that I’ve ever made an active effort to like him or anything – Chusen simply did not particularly work for me.)

What’s a popular drama that you didn’t like/dropped?

Prince of Lan Ling, The Princess Weiyoung, General And I, Ice Fantasy, The Imperial Doctress, The Journey of Flower, Legend of MiYue, The Legend of Chusen, Empress of China, The Four

Underrated favourite drama?

The Glory Of Tang Dynasty! ‘Tis the sad life when no English subs exist. 

An actor/actress you wish would do dramas more often?

Zhou Xun and Chen Kun! 

A guilty pleasure drama?

Love O2O. Cute fluffiness + pretty people + strong OTP + RPG = very enjoyable escapism. 

What drama would you say has the best ending?

Nirvana in Fire. 

Wu Xin: The Monster Killer – a lot of people were unsatisfied with its melancholy conclusion (re: there’s a Season 2, guys!), but personally it actually worked for me, appropriately concluding the entirety as if it were simply a 20-episode show. Since Season 2 does take place in a rather different setting, with, Wu Xin aside, a different set of characters, I thought it nicely ended the Season 1 arc. 

If you could crossover two (or more) dramas, what would they be?

This! This is actually a very creative question – kudos to whoever came up with this. Earlier @yansanniang and I were discussing a GOTD x Legend of Zhen Huan cross-over – sort of, where An Qingxu, his medicinal abilities, and his emotional instability decided to go shake things up at Yongzheng’s court. The other day I was thinking about how things might go down if Empress Zhang decided to invite a certain 麒麟才子 with a penchant for ruining birthday parties to her own birthday party, hoping to gain his help to aid her with her own ambitions… 

Who is a female character that the fandom hated, but you loved?

Hua Qian Gu. I agree, there were times where she felt overly childish and overbearing (I believe it was equal parts frustration and even hatred at her AND BZH), and I find it difficult to watch someone who literally refused to change, but ultimately she still won me over. 

What’s your favourite fictional found family?

Dr. Qin Medical Examiner’s Qin Ming, Da Bao, and Lin Tao. In my mind they’re a family. :))

Tagging: @swordsandparasols @yansanniang @itsjustveryludicrous @alakoba @renewedmotionforjudgment @loquatly @cdramaddict @whimsyfulwanderings @seventh-fantasy @dangermousie @thedazzlingdarkness

[smolfangirl]

Lost Then Found

Chapter 1: Back around

Chapter 2 /  Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 

The sun had no mercy on Buenos Aires this day. It was the hottest day in weeks, but also the most beautiful one – at least, if your name wasn’t Matteo Balsano. Having just arrived in Argentina, there was a chance he already had screwed up. Big time.

The city looked the same then when Matteo had left. He knew because both times had he spend the car ride scanning every street, every house they passed, every person. While his parents sat in the front seat, talking about all the things they needed to get done once they arrived in their new house, he hoped to find a similar face. Starting a year ago, nothing about this city had left his thoughts for more than a day.

“Matteo”, his dad suddenly demanded attention, “You still haven’t decided what you’re going to do until your classes start, haven’t you?” He sounded vaguely annoyed, which didn’t come as a surprise. Matteo still lively remembered the countless fights and discussions and slammed doors about his major. But he wouldn’t give up now and switch from physics and astronomy to legal studies, just because his dad still threw a fit about it. However, not having a plan for the next two months seemed to be worse right now. At least, not having any plans his parents knew of. Or approved of.

“I’m not sure, perhaps I’ll start working at Jam&Roller.” Through the rearview mirror, his dad shot him a look. “But you’re not considering this because of this little girl, right?”

“No, of course not”, he replied, ignoring how his heart skipped a beat just from the thought of seeing “this little girl” again. “I told you I’m over her.” As a reward, he received a smile, along with an affirming “Good”. Still, Matteo questioned the choices he made during the last year. Would he have to face this dilemma all over again? Choosing between Luna and a good relationship with his parents? Because this time, the decision would end up being a lot harder.

In contrast, there were a few things just as easy as always. For example, finding the way to Gastón’s place. Without even as much as a glance on a map he reached the familiar gate. For a moment, Matteo paused.  So many memories came up, good ones, that filled him with even more excitement. He pulled his phone out. Seconds later, he heard the same old “Hello?”, followed by “Matteo, is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Nice to hear you again.”

“Couldn’t agree more. I haven’t heard from you in weeks, how are you doing?” Matteo nearly felt the smile on Gastón’s face. “I’m sorry about that, really, but you know, we moved again, so I was too busy.”

“Wait, what do you mean? You moved again? Why are you calling me from your Italian number, then?” He grinned. Now the conversation went into the direction he needed. “I’ll explain it to you, I promise. But first I must ask, are you at home? Because if you are, I need you to do something for me.” “Yeah, everything for you”, Gastón interrupted. “Okay. Look out of your window.”

Indeed, a face appeared in the one window that belonged to his best friend`s room. Matteo waved. Even from the outside, he heard the excited scream.

A minute passed by. The door didn’t open and waiting for Gastón to come out felt like torture now. Then, finally, a movement. A boy running straight towards the gate. With a smile too big for their faces, they went straight for a hug. “I can’t believe you’re back”, Gastón mumbled. “You better start believing it”, Matteo replied, “because I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.” If possible, Gastón’s smile got even bigger, unfolding all the way up to his ears.

“When did you come back?”

They sat in the garden, on one of the chairs they had already spent hours in over the course of their friendship. “Actually, this morning.” Gastón’s eyes widened in surprise. “Are you telling me coming to me was the first thing you did?”

Matteo laughed. He missed having his best friend around. Smiling was so much easier with him, and he’d trust this guy with his own life. “Actually, we got to our house first and then I unpacked before I got here. Sorry, bro, but you were still my first second choice.”

Gastón looked at him, dead serious for a moment, and pressed his hands on the left side of his chest. “Now you’re breaking my heart. I’m not sure I can be friends with you after this… No, seriously, where do you live now? Is it even bigger than the old house?” Matteo shook his head. “I don’t know how my parents did it, but we’re back in the old place. And there wasn’t even a single dust particle, everything looked just the same.”

For a while, it went on like this, a meaningless conversation that still filled both with a natural feeling of belonging. At some point, however, they ended up talking about the more important things. “So, are you going to law school like your father wants?”, Gastón asked. His eyes rested on Matteo’s face, and he couldn’t even be mad. For years, his dad went on and on about the future he imagined for his son. Matteo’s opinion never had mattered. For all his best friend knew, he never tried to stand up for his own dreams. But a certain girl showed him that it was worth fighting for them, that it was worth not giving up. Grinning, he replied, “No. I registered for physics and astronomy. My dad doesn’t like it, but at least he hasn’t disowned me or stopped talking to me. He’ll live. What about you? Still want to study literature?”

“Yes, and I still can’t quite believe we’re going to start university in two months. And… you know, I’m glad we’re doing this together now, but I really wish you would have been here to graduate with me.”

Matteo had no idea what to say. Finishing school without his best friend by his side would always be a thing he regretted. But he couldn’t go back in time, and he didn’t want to dwell on this. “Well, at least that made you the most stylish boy at the Blake, I guess. But, like, tell me, what did I miss?”

“Actually… a lot, where do I start?” Suddenly, Gastón seemed uncomfortable, messing with his hair and avoiding Matteo’s eyes. Clearly he knew where to start, but something was holding him back.

Just when he was about to ask what was wrong, Nina joined them. Matteo felt speechless, even more when she greeted Gastón with an open smile and a kiss. When the two lovebirds parted, he had found his words again. With a smirk, he turned to his best friend, “Why don’t you start by telling me how you two got together? If I recall it correctly you never really talked about this on the phone… Oh, and hi, Nina.”

Said girl froze as he turned his attention to her. “Hi Matteo”, she replied, not giving the impression to be happy to see him. “So you’re back, I take it?” He nodded, giving her a smile. She didn’t return it. “Gastón, I forgot to make an important call, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Matteo couldn’t help but wonder if it was just an excuse to call Luna.

The minute Matteo walked into the Jam&Roller he truly came home again. It felt like getting back a piece of his heart Italy couldn’t provide. This here was his home, his rock. Seeing how things hadn’t changed in here made him happier than Gastón’s stories. (Especially the part about Ámbar dating the guitarist… he still tried to wrap his head around this mystery.) The bar was filled with people’s chatter, Pedro mixed smoothies behind the counter and he could hear the skates on the rink. There wasn’t a thing he hadn’t missed about this place. And one thing in particular he was both most excited about and afraid of.

He saw her before he even got to the rink. Lucky for him, he wasn’t on his skates – otherwise he might have ended up crashing into the lockers, since he got too caught up in staring at her. Her hair fell longer over her shoulders. Less curly, somehow. Had she grown too? Or were his eyes only playing tricks on him?

Without being aware of it, her name escaped his lips. She turned around. The moment their eyes locked, everything he had tried to forget came back to the surface in a smashing wave. Tears piled up in the corner of his eyes. Matteo didn’t care. Too long had he dreamed about this. Too long had he waited for this moment.

“My chica delivery”, he whispered. Luna still looked at him, speechless, eyes widened in disbelief. There was no smile on her face.

“You’re here. You’re real”, were the words she finally spit out after a minute of plain staring. “As real as ever. Did you miss me?”, he replied, trying to unlock her smile. It didn’t work, which was what he had been afraid of since his parents announced their return to Buenos Aires. Had he really believed she wouldn’t be mad?

Thoughts raced through his head, trying to come up with a way to save the situation. To make her fall into his arms, to give him a smile and make up for the lost time. Instead, someone else entered the room and ended this awkward situation. “Tamara!”, Luna blurt out, sounding way too relieved. Matteo turned around to face his old trainer. “Matteo! That’s a surprise! How are you?” She gave him a smile, but Luna jumped in before he even got the chance to get himself together and fake a smile. “Tamara, can we please talk? Right now? It’s really important.” Tamara nodded. Without as much as a look in his direction Luna stormed off. All Matteo could do was watch her leave. He needed a minute before being able to put on his skates and leave for the rink.

He had missed skating. Terribly. Skating on the streets and only doing some tricks when no one was in the way didn’t quite count. Most people seemed to recognize him and cleared his way without a single word from him. He liked it.

Some tricks didn’t work right away, which bothered him enough to forget about Luna for a bit. However, seeing Tamara sitting close to the bar, brought back the conversation – if it could be called one – with Luna. But it also reminded him of something he meant to do since two days now.

“Hi, Tamara.” She looked up from her laptop, giving him another smile as she realized it was him. “Matteo! Hey, I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk earlier. Are you back for good?” He nodded. “I am. And I know I just got back, but I want to ask you something.” He sat down, thinking about how easy it felt to talk to Tamara. She was nothing like his parents, where he played out every scenario before he even opened his mouth. “Fire away, what did you want to ask me?” He liked that she hadn’t changed. “Do you need another supervisor for the rink? I’m not starting university until March and I’d love to help out. And you know, you wouldn’t need to show me around. If you’d like, I’d start tomorrow.”

His fingers ran through his hair as he waited for her answer. “Well…”, she started, soon nodding along, “Why not? It’s not a bad idea… and Luna just asked me to reduce her shifts so I’ll need someone new anyway.” There she was again, making him feel as if he got punched in the stomach without even being around. “Oh. That’s… sad.” Although Matteo tried to cover up, the compassionate look Tamara gave him proved he did a horrible job. Even when he had been worrying about losing Luna from the second he knew he’d come back. Giving up on her wasn’t an option, however. Just seeing her for these few minutes had brought back his feelings full on. His heart still jumped at her sight. He still only wanted to make her smile. He still thought about the taste of her lips and the way her smile made him feel like flying. And maybe, just maybe, not everything was lost. Luna didn’t stop working here. He’d see her again. He’d try to win her back.

So, Matteo put on a smile and focused on Tamara. When he left, he had worked out all the details.