#And right after To All Of You by Syd Matters started playing :'^)

[katelynnwrites]

Little Liebe's Family II | Sydney Lohmann x Child!Reader

warnings: ~

word count: 1077

summary: you change Tante Syd's name

a/n: part of Sydney's Little Liebe, celebratory two fics in a day cause germany is going to the olympics 🥳

Tante Syd is brushing her teeth when you appear by the door and hover as you wait for her to finish.

‘Little Liebe?’ She questions worriedly as soon as she’s done.

It’s odd for you to be standing in her bedroom, you’re usually tucked into your own bed by now.

‘Can you read me a bedtime story?’ You ask.

Your Tante is confused but slowly says, ‘Okay…’

You haven’t had a bedtime story in a while, deciding it to be only for babies. No matter how much Momma and Tante Syd had tried to convince you otherwise, you were stubborn and adamant about your decision.

But you really really want one today because you think it will make the weird feeling in your tummy go away.

Tante Syd holds out her hand and you grip onto it tightly as she walks you back to your bedroom.

‘Which book would you like?’

You like Tante Syd’s voice. It calms you down and Momma told you that when you were very little, Tante used to sing you a lullaby when she rocked you to sleep.

You don’t need her to sing to you today, especially because Tante Laura from the Country Club says that Tante Syd can’t sing but you do need her to read you your favourite book so you point to it.

It’s not been read for a while so it’s been sitting on your bookshelf instead of your bedside table where it used to sit.

’Do you want me to sit in your bed beside you?’ She prompts gently after picking the book up and you nod.

You squeeze her hand tightly as she does so and Tante kisses the top of your head.

She opens the book and reads, ‘I love our time together as we start each happy day.’

‘I love our bathtime silliness. The way we splash and play.’

‘With my yellow duck!’

Tante Syd chuckles softly, ‘I love to lift you way up high so you feel really tall!’

You giggle, ‘I love it too. I like being taller than Tante Mala.’

Tante Mala is the tallest person you know and you feel like such a big girl when you can see the top of her head.

You have a lot of fun when Tante Syd puts you on her shoulders.

Your Tante turns the page, reading aloud, ‘We’ll climb the highest mountaintops. Hold tight and you won’t fall.’

In your book, it shows a baby bear and a mummy bear. They climb mountains together and you want to do that too.

‘Tante am I big enough to go climb mountains with you and Momma yet?’

She’s been promising that you could since you first started reading this book together and because you haven’t read it for a while, you thought that maybe you’ve grown big enough to go.

Your Tante laughs, ‘Soon Little Liebe. We can go hiking with your Momma real soon okay? You’ve just got to grow a bit bigger so make sure to eat all your veggies.’

‘Okay.’ You nod furiously.

Tante Syd grins. You ask every time the storybook is read to you so she’s not surprised you’ve asked again.

‘You’ll hold my hand tight when we go right?’ You whisper as an afterthought.

When you were littler, you didn’t think about that and now you worry a bit about it. Falling off a mountain sounds like it will give you an ouchie.

Like the one you have on your knee from tripping because you ran too fast on the pitch.

‘Of course Little Liebe. Your Momma will hold one hand and I will hold your other hand so you will be safe.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

Tante gives you a pinky promise so you know she’s being serious.

‘I’ll get bigger soon. Then we can go.’ You decide, making Tante Syd chuckle.

Unbeknown to you, your Momma and her already have a hiking trip planned for you. You’ve been big enough for a while.

Tante’s voice is very soft and very affectionate when she reads, ‘I love to share the magic of the shining skies above and think of all the different ways that we can show our love.’

‘Like when we’re touching noses.’

Your Tante Syd bumps her nose off yours and you dissolve into a fit of giggles, ‘You’re silly Tante.’

‘Playing chase or seeing friends. Our love is always with us and it never, ever ends. So snuggle safely in my arms, our day is nearly done.’

Tante doesn’t even have to ask or hold her arms out because you cuddle right up to her.

She hugs you tightly, murmuring the last line of the book, ‘I love you to the moon and stars, my precious little one.’

‘I love you too. To the moon and stars.’

‘Which is a lot because they are very far away.’ You add insistently.

‘I know Little Liebe. I love you lots too.’

You wiggle under your blanket.

‘Tante?’

‘What is it?’

‘Can I call you Mama?’

Your Tante goes very still and quiet next to you. Her breathing sounds funny for a moment and she hugs you even more tightly.

‘If you want to, Little Liebe.’

You relax as the weird feeling in your tummy disappears.

‘That’s good because I want to. My teacher at school says that I have two mummies because you and Momma are getting married. So you can’t be Tante anymore.’

‘I’d love to be your Mama.’

You grin, kissing her cheek and your Mama’s eyes are very shiny when she kisses your cheek back.

‘Have sweet dreams meine Little Liebe.’

She tucks you into your fluffy blanket properly and checks under your bed to make sure there aren’t any monsters hiding there.

‘No monsters?’

‘No monsters.’ She confirms.

Yawning, you mumble, ‘Goodnight Mama Syd.’

‘Goodnight Little Liebe.’

She’s left your night light on so you aren’t afraid when she leaves your bedroom.

You’re already falling asleep so you don’t know that she bursts into tears as soon as she’s outside.

You don’t know that Momma comes out from finishing up the dishes in the kitchen to find her crying.

You don’t know that she anxiously asks your Mama Syd what is wrong, only for her to shakily say, ‘Nothing’s wrong. Everything is perfect because Little Liebe just called me Mama.’

You don’t know any of that but you do know that you are so very very loved. By both your Momma and Mama.

German Translations:

meine Little Liebe - my little love

tante - aunty

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Four Funerals and a wedding two weddings

Predictions & theories

We might even get a 5th funeral... Either Cicero's or Donna's. 🔗🔗

And we may have a 2nd wedding, not just Tiff's, which will be the opening of S4 probably aired in one of the first 3 eps, but also, going forward, a Sydcarmy wedding... and even if the Sydcarmy wedding is not "classic" it will DEFINITELY be symbolic (agreement) so that 2nd "wedding" is a fact no matter what, and it's gonna be Sydcarmy´s. And that agreement will be signed pretty much as the season starts, definitely within the first 3 or 4 eps.

Gingerpredictions about Tiff's wedding

Guest list

People who we know for sure are gonna be at the venue:

Carmy

Syd

Donna

Richie

The C person

Neil Fak

People who we know might be at the venue:

Luca

Theo Fak

Francie Fak

Uncle Lee

Plus ones

Syd

Syd is potentially gonna be +1 of only 2 characters: Either Carmy OR Luca. Out of those 2, I think Carmy has better chances because neither Syd nor Luca are considered friends or family by Tiff, so what would they be doing there together? And it would be a 2nd chance for Carmy to fix this piece of shit +1 opportunity he RUINED.

Richie's +1 will be Jess

Not gonna explain that one but WILL SAY that I can't believe there are ppl in the fandom saying Syd is gonna be his +1. I mean what about this scene? What about them exchanging phone numbers (RIGHT ONES, CARMY, RIGHT NUMBERS!) and talking about life as Storer showed in S3? What about Forks 2x7? Seriously? Anyway... BUT if I'm wrong, which is always a possibility, Syd being Richie's +1 could be a great plot device for JELLY CARMY so YAY! Also, she could be the mediator for Richie and Carmy's reconciliation at the wedding, or right after, which I would LOVE.

C Person

If Syd is not Carmy's +1, then either Carmy is gonna fly solo and run into the C person at the wedding and probably apologize or attempt to, while his eyes wander to Syd who's looking ravishing OR the C person will be his +1 and his eyes will wander to Syd who's looking ravishing. I say: Let's brace ourselves for any of these potential scenarios.

Donna

She will probably go with Lee.

Why do I think so? Because he was at S3's premiere and I think that means Bob Odenkirk's already shot all his S4 scenes when S3+4 were being shot back to back. We know, via FX's Chairman, that so far 6 outta S4's 10 eps have been shot, and only 4 are yet to be shot next year. So he will probably be part of the wedding.

Shoutout to @inthemoodforlove4eva who saw my vision when I shared my potential Donna's funeral theory a few days ago

and pointed out the pattern of how Death is a theme throughout the show that I have been talking about in my meta for months, but death is dealt with in a way that is actually AUSTENIAN, so it serves the story moving it forward and also serves the character's redemption arcs.

Bonus track: Syd's FASHION!

Syd is still guarding her ❤️

Not sure if you noticed but her outfit choices cover her chest, no cleavage whatsoever. I'm surprised she's not wearing an actual shield or armor and I'm sure that unconsciously/symbolically speaking it has a lot to do with Carmy being there. She's guarding her heart. IK we can argue that she always dresses like that, even when Carmy is not around because that's her style, and that's also true. BUT IMO: The wardrobe department is following Storer's orders though, so when Storer greenlights Syd's skin and specifically her cleavage area in the outfits she wears outside the restaurant when she knows Carmy is gonna be around, AKA: dates, it's gonna be Sydcarmy showtime!

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[fluentmoviequoter]

I'm a tiny lil bit struggling rn, do you have any random Victor thoughts to share to cheer me up? Could be anything, headcanon, random thoughts, does he insist on wearing only black socks so they fit his aesthetic? Also no worries if you don't have anything to say or don't feel like it, no pressure!

So sorry to hear that! Hope everything gets better quickly and talking Vic can help you!! There’s a bunch of my random, borderline incoherent thoughts and rambles below the cut!!🩶

I’ll start with the black sock idea! I feel like the answer is probably yes; every detail of Vic’s look (no matter how small) fits his aesthetic. Playing off of that, his style seems to be very sophisticated and dark, sort of dark academia-esque, so it all begins with the base and for Vic that means having one solid color, head to toe, to build his Parisian debonair look!!

Alternatively though, I think if Vic was going to wear something a little more colorful or wild (likely after persistent teasing and prodding from Syd) that he’d limit the colorful expression to his socks or some other piece that’s not visible to others!

One thing that I almost always think about when talking/writing/reading about Vic is that he has trust issues but he’s also an incredibly good judge of character. He trusted Mitch and Syd relatively quickly despite the number of people who have hurt him, so those two aspects of being hesitant to trust but understanding people so deeply allows Vic to choose both his allies and enemies quickly and with almost frightening accuracy.

Building off of something we’ve talked about with Vic’s sophisticated tastes, if he was a car he’d be an Aston Martin DB4GT Zagato!! It’s sleek, classy, and dangerously beautiful.

I also think that Vic is numbed to the emotions of others. Not necessarily lacking empathy, just unable or unwilling to read people’s feelings as easily as their personalities. (Like he figured Eli out really quickly but seemed to struggle with determining what Eli was thinking or feeling.) However, I think the opposite is true for Mitch and Sydney. He’s so attuned to their needs, because he is their first line of defense, their protector, their safe space, that he can look at them and know what they need to hear or receive based on what they seem to be feeling.

This one is probably wrong but in my mind Vic laughs when he reads his parents’ books in private! Especially if they happen to mention anything about parenting or being good/kind to the people around you.

Along with reading and editing his parents’ books, I think Victor has lots of poetry in his mind!! Whether it’s poems he’s read or come up with himself, he has a poetic reference for everything. Sometimes he just thinks them, other times he says them under his breath, but he has a deep understanding of how life’s beauty and ugliness blend together to create reality! His thoughts are formed poetically too; he can’t just think “that looks cool” it’s something deep and melodic, relating it to whatever he considers to be the most beautiful or interesting part of life.

(This is getting long. I’m sort of sorry.)

Victor is a human cat!!!! You of all people know this for sure, but it needed to be included. He likes having his head rubbed or hair played with (he’d never admit it and figuratively bite someone he doesn’t know well for trying), he 100% knocks things off tables on random impulse, and… it’s perhaps my strangest headcanon, but Victor purrs!! When he’s really happy or likes something a lot, he can’t show it because he has an image to maintain, so he purrs instead.

If Vicious came out in 2012, and we’re assuming that Lockland era scenes were ~2002, and he was approximately 22… then Vic would have been born in/around 1980 right? Even if he wasn’t! Vic likes 80s movies!! (I’m projecting.) He surprisingly likes The Goonies because it’s about a group of friends (which he didn’t have) who go on an adventure to save their town. All of the kids also think about their parents and their wellbeing (which Vic couldn’t understand but could appreciate the beauty of). He also likes Real Genius because of course he does, he’s like a more stoic version of Chris Knight!! (It’s one of my favorite movies and I’m still projecting.)

I think if/when Vic listens to music it’s probably alternative and moody/meaningful. He chooses songs and artists with poetic lyrics and then draws even deeper connections and ideas from them.

I’m not accepting any questions about this one (LIE) but Vic would look incredible in the outfit Pedro Pascal wore to the SAG Awards. Victor looks good in everything, but that disheveled pirate look would… I can’t even put it into words, just trust me.

Last one for now! Victor obviously has a soft spot for strays, so I think if he could go back to school, start over, whatever, he may consider vet school! It still plays into his traits of needing to be in control and have an incredibly meaningful and impactful job, but he’d get to help animals too.

Okay I lied one more. Victor Vale makes people work to see his smile! He smiled when Sydney brought him back to life but that’s one of the only times we get to see it. However, I wholly believe that after that, he sometimes just smiles at Sydney. More so when she isn’t looking, but he needs to do something to let all of the words he can’t say to her get out. But also! He has one of those smiles that is so pretty it will make you fall to your knees but you can also tell that there’s more behind it, that he’s not smiling just to smile but to communicate (or in some cases, foreshadow something that will happen to you).

[november-rising]

The Bear: Season One, Episode Six Ceres - Last Train Home

As I said in my last post, John Mayer's "Last Train Home" has crossed my mind many times. I’m realizing now why this song means something to me. Original or Ballad, this song plays right after Tina talks to Richie who has reached his limits. 

Richie is feeling on the outside. He’s the old guard. Everyone is changing. Sydney and Carmen are “kids, you know. [...] This is a delicate fucking ecosystem!” 

Everything is coming to blows with The OG Beef, Carmen, Sydney, staff, new OG Beef…

It’s all changing. And, as he says, he doesn’t need this shit right now. The warble in his voice as he says this, pointing towards the building - it’s heartbreaking.

For Richie, the restaurant started to become out of sync when Carmy came ‘roud. It stumbled with Syd’s guidance. But it’s this point, right here, while venting to Tina, that Richie realizes that the “delicate ecosystem” has begun to evolve and stray from his (and Mickey’s) vision of the shop. What’s the point in staying if it can’t be like it’s always been? Thus, Ritchie threatens to quit. And Tina reminds him:

Yeah. Where is he going to go?

Then “Last Train Home” starts to play. It’s soothes the transition back into the "new" kitchen. To me, it is an intro into the start of a clear, functioning kitchen.

Sydney is running expo. The OGB Crew is responding with exacting attention and action. Carmen, as this viewer observed, didn’t seem so rushed. There seemed to be a breath moving through the kitchen. There’s not the pressure of urgency, in a matter of speaking. There is a flow within and between the staff. 

Carmen is focused on his craft, creating and executing dishes while Sydney orchestrates the flow. Unlike the Carmen in the flashback at the start of this episode, this time, he isn’t being directed or in awe of someone (something) else. He’s crafting something using his own staples, comforts, and tried-and-true methods. The chicken and peppers dish is homestyle just like Sunday braciole. He patiently (as one can) cooks this dish, passes it off to Sydney who clears the plate for service. Sydney evaluates, corrects and/or approves dishes. Her judgement is trusted.

All of this shows the process of purpose.

Carmen is making meaning while Richie is shown, time and again that he’s stuck. Richie is living in a past that Mikey carved out. He’s trying to find his place which is why, I think ,he called the cops on the homies eating sandwiches Syd made to keep the peace. This is the moment that led to the Season 2 Episode 1 basement conversation Richie has about purpose.

[nrdmssgs]

Darker matters (part 3)

Masterlist Previous part Next part

Angst Pairing: Nikolai x Olga 'Zhar' Samoilova Summary: The fall of Chimeras commander Warnings: Swearing, inaccurate description of military operations.

Author's note: This is a sequel to A heart full of pity. Thanks: My very important people: @homicidal-slvt, @sofasoap and @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot. And a very special thanks to @pale-elysium for the unbelievably beautiful things and words shared.

In the first hours, all sounds around her are drowned out by an unbearable noise in her ears. Olga doesn’t hear Iskras worried voice, doesn’t respond to the calls of the rest of the team. 

Deafening white noise, measured hissing. 

Zhar doesn’t remember how she declares the operation completed, how she gets to the city, finds the secret flat, that Chimera members use as a hideout, when they are in need of one. 

She locks the door and slowly crawls deep into the dark, dusty hallway, only to hide in a corner and scream of horror and powerlessness taking over her body and mind. A strange feeling of déjà vu comes over her: this is not the first time, it hurts so much, not the first time, she feels paralyzed. But no matter, how hard she tries - Olga can't remember, what triggered those emotions for the first time in her life. 

Zhar tries her best to count hours, spent alone in silence, in a dark cold flat with tightly curtained windows. Her anxiousness grows, her instincts beg her to get up, gather all her strength, all Chimera soldiers and declare a war. But Olga knows better. If Nikolai is still alive, any rash step of hers could end his life. So she clutches her teeth, suppresses the guttural howl escaping from the chest, and waits.

***

It seems like the tense silence in Nikolais office doesn't bother Krueger at all. 

“So, anyone has any hiring companies worth of interest on their minds?” One after another, uncomprehending and indignant gazes rise up at him.

“What, I'm supposed to sit tight and mourn our boss, like a good widow? You need that - you go to Zhar, since that joke of a commander decided to not do any-fucking-else.” Iskra turns back to Krueger, ready to put him in his place, but her eyes dart to the entrance and widen. 

“If I'm not mistaken, you all have active contracts…” Olgas voice is hoarse and cold. She flies into the room and walks past soldiers without even turning around. “Yegor - Prague won’t clear itself up. Syd, Kruger - your plane to ‘point 52’ leaves in an hour, so I don’t know what the hell you forgot here. Iskra, you should have returned home yesterday.”

Everybody sit still, not quite understanding, what's going on, while Zhar roams through papers on Nikolais desk. She pauses and looks up on them for the first time. Her face is gray, tired eyes with a dull reddish haze give away her desperate need of sleep.

“Excuse me, did I give any of you a fucking day off today?” Zhar hisses. “Nikolai may not be in this room, but that doesn't mean, you can sit here and relax! Get up and go get angry, Chimeras!”

One by one, every other member except Iskra leaves the room. Staying with Zhar may not be her safest option for now, but Iskra doesn't care.

“Is he alive? Anyone contacted you?” 

Instead of an answer, Olga pulls the recorder from her pocket and places it on the table.

“Those scums even organized a message delivery right to my door.”

Iskra hesitates for a moment, but then turns the device on and presses play button. The message recorded there makes her feel sick. From the very start, when an unfamiliar male voice addresses to Zhar, asking if her back is still rotting, to him proceeding to explain, what is going to happen to her and Nikolai now. 

“I know, you want your friend back. After all, who else would be so merciful to have you every night, yeah? I feel generous today, Olga: you can have that sack of shit back in one piece on one condition. You seem like someone who loves a good show. All that bloody circus you and your comrade brought to my town, after I made a very clear point to stop fucking around my territory…”

Iskra looks up at Zhar and her heart sinks: Olga silently moves her lips, echoing every word coming from the recorder. Apparently she had listened to the message countless times and already knew it by heart.

The recording goes on. “So show it is then: it will be your best one, and I'll make sure, that Nikolai enjoys every single minute of it. You'll take the Chimera and tear it apart. I want every contract turned down, every member deceased, every line of funding dried out. I'm giving you creative freedom here, you piece of meat. And if the thought comes to your mind to call your old friend Price for help, Nikolai will regret that he was not strangled on his first evening with us. Chop-chop, Lieutenant.”

For the next few minutes, the office falls into a deafening silence. Zhar froze, hovering over some documents, scattered on the table. 

“Olya my yego vytashchim... Nikolai zhiv, znachit my yego vytashchim.*” Iskra tries to reach out for Zhars shoulder, but she escapes that friendly gesture.

“I will get him back.” Zhar takes a pencil and starts frantically underlining something in one document. “Keeping you close to myself would mean to draw a big fat target on your backs. So you do your jobs: contracts as usual.”

“And you? Olga, neither I nor others will let you go after Nik alone. Whoever has him - has a network of informants wide enough to find, where you were these days. And they are trying to get Chimera beheaded!”

Olga finally straightens her back, exhales, trying to calm down trembling fingers. “Don't worry - I'm not giving them head of Chimera on a plate. The only way to get our commander back is to start growing the company right now.”

***

The following weeks passed agonizingly slowly. Iskra rarely interacted with the rest of the company at their base. It didn't make her life easier as well, that Zhar prohibited sharing the fact of Nikolais disappearance with anyone, including even Farah. 

On the outside, Chimera was prospering as never before: contracts, funding and agents incoming almost daily. But Iskra knew the cost too well: Olgas slow agony, her eyes, losing light with every next day, her body failing her in return for not sleeping and eating properly, her thoughts, all centering around one goal. In the rare moments, when Zhar came to fetch something from the base, her appearance and behavior frightened Iskra.

“Give me the names of possible contractors - I'll go find them myself. You need to rest!” Iskra saw for so many times, how Nik used to take a part of Olgas work and force her to go sleep, yet it seemed to work only with him. Zhar didn't even think to let anyone help her, she was too afraid of losing people.

“I'm fine, I just need to collect a few things.” She isn't about to pause, even for an hour, before she takes back, what was hers. 

Every time it was ‘a few more things’, ‘more intel’, ‘more people’. Every night Zhar felt, she was on the edge of breaking down, but something unkind, inhuman made her go on. It wasn't love or hope, it felt like a hungry, raging fire consuming her body and mind. 

***

Nikolai doesn't react to someone entering his cell. He knows too well to waste energy, when each visit could end up with a beating. An echo of approaching footsteps and the lingering creak with which a heavy chair was pushed towards his mattress don't bother him either. He lays there, folding his arms across his chest, staring at the gray ceiling. Nikolai knows his visitor too well to start speaking first. 

“You know, I start regretting getting you - not her. If it was that stupid cunt laying on your place right now - you'd have already brought a fucking army here. But Olga is no fun - she's good only for hiding and feeling sorry for herself.” The man speaking makes a pause, hoping that Nikolai would answer. But he gets only an indifferent look from his captive, so he has to go on.

“It's been almost a year, since I started taking care of her, you know? She nosed in my business, so my friends and I gave her a clue on how can she live long a sleep sound. A clue so big, she needed her entire back and good half of ass to learn the lesson. Now she lost her boyfriend, so I reached out again and explained, how to get him back. I thought, by this time, she'd learn how to listen, when she's spoken to. Two weeks pass, and she didn't even try to move in a right direction.” Nik bites his cheek, so as not to inadvertently smile after hearing that.

“Talk to me, tovarishch. I know, you fucking love a good conversation.” The man sitting on a chair is losing patience. Nikolai looks to his side briefly, not even moving his head.

“What is there more to say, when you already told everything?” Nik sighs, as if he is sincerely pitying his opponent. “Zhar slapped your face so hard with that operation - it still hurts. And you could win yourself a quick and easy death, but you felt fancy and chose her as your gravedigger instead of me. With each next day, you only realize it more, how deeply fucked you are. So you crawl to me to cry on my shoulder.”

Nikolai is sure, they'll start beating him, so he relaxes and lets himself a small grin. But his captor starts laughing.

“You merry son of a bitch. You Russians are all so bloody funny, when you are on the verge of dying. You know, that actually gives me an idea…” The man laughs so loud, it becomes annoying. “How about we send your girl a helping hand? I know this fella, they'll find so much in common pretty fast. She'll find him… pretty amusing.”

Nikolai doesn't like, how light-hearted his opponent voice sounds, when he has thrown that last phrase, leaving a room, where they kept Nik for the last few weeks.

***

Olga knows: sooner or later it must happen. Her time runs out, every new piece of intel on her enemies, makes her understand, the fight is going to be unfair and painful. 

Last year, when Price sent her and Nikolai to that ill-fated mission, she crossed too many paths. At some point, a revenge must find her. She was hoping, it will all resolve quickly: one bullet in her skull. But instead they took Nikolai, leaving her nothing, but terror, circling her mind.

Not taking an incredible difficulty with which she managed to obtain every bit of information and win over a new fighter to her side into account, things weren’t going so bad for her. Up to this day.

This informant was especially valuable: he could give away the location of the enemy base where they were holding Nik. She left the station and immediately called him: the meeting was to take place in a back alley. Olga freezes when a fire truck, then an ambulance, pulls out onto the road she was walking along. She quickens her pace and soon starts running. 

Her exhausted body resists, but she stubbornly continues to run. It is only after seeing a massive plume of smoke pouring out of a car parked at their meeting point that Zhar stops. Someone's invisible eyes saw her right now, someone knew about her plans, someone's hands were ready to squeeze around her throat.

Olya my yego vytashchim... Nikolai zhiv, znachit my yego vytashchim. - Olga (diminutive form), we'll get him... Nikolai is alive, so we will definitely get him back.

Next part

[bellanotgoth]

Life is strange Fanfic

Fanfic I guess Rachel, Nathan, Chloe and Frank (and me).

This is totally made up out of the blue and its probably pretty bad but just wanted to try it out hope you like it🩷

So me and Rachel would become super close as friends when we were little just like max and Chloe but when i lost my other friend in suicide at age of 8 i was suicidal and Rachel was there for me and since then we did everything together, but then at age of 15 we kinda parted ways slowly but we still did stuff together and when i started hanging out with Nathan Prescott she got furious and i started secretly dating him and i got bullied for it for about 1-2 years and then at age of 17 I met frank when I was getting drugs for Nathan and we had an argument and Nathan came to where we were by the forest and he had a gun and the two quickly got into a fight and Nathan was gonna shot but he shot close to me.

I almost got shot and then he ran away from the place and I was stuck there with frank and I forced him to let me use his bathroom and we started talking and saw how much things we kinda had in common. So on we started a small summer fling he thought i was 18 at first but then found out he i was 16-17 he got mad but we continued until we ended the affair. I started studying my marines and i was always by the beach and the ocean or any sort of waters for that matter, i had my friends Zachary and Crystal. Zac was super into animals which I also am and he wanted to work at a zoo one day or become like Steve Irwin and Crystal she was so cool, her eyes were literally blue like crystals and her hair was black as the night and I cant lie if i said I didn't like her more then a friend at one point she really stuck out. She could be really bad but she was so laidback and nice to everyone and got along well with almost everyone.

Crystal and I become pretty close after my fall out with Rachel when i was 15 we became the new R and B that was our thing me and Rachel we had a band when we were younger called RnB cuz it was our initials. Yeah yeah well Crystal always came and sat with me by the beach and we would read our favourite novels out loud since we both hate to read but we loved hearing it. She could play almost every instrument but her favourite was the flute, she loved to sit and play it while we could hear the waves on the shore she was a natural.

When I was zac he is soo fun, he loves animals and well I do too but my favourite is cats i dont know how many petitions I have had to sign because of him. He is truly a fighter for animals rights yeah he wont let any animal be seen hungry or hurt and he just fights for whats right and I think thats cool of him I admire that. Besides his huge love for animals he also has a thing for photography. When I learned he and Nathan was in the same class I was furious at first but then It cooled off I cant hide from him forever, ever since he left me there after he almost shot me I was so mad. The Nathan I knew was a sensitive sweet guy, yes he had his bad sides but that's the thing I do too when we fought hell broke loose. Thats why I was surprised to learn when i got to campus how people saw him as so crazy.

After some time eventually me and Rachel become friends again, it was then I met Chloe she was soo amazeballs I had never met anyone like her she and Rachel were pretty similar but also so alike I know Rachel and she likes to get what she wants and Chloe she just seems like a troubles teen with a lot of trauma. We Three became like the blonde trio (well I had naturally brunette hair but). But we three had really fun times I even took a pic of them by the beach. It was really great, I talked a lot with Chloe I just found it so interesting what she had been through I also understood her loss of her father I had lost mine too not the same way but we kinda connected on that. After some time we both noticed how Rachel was a bit distant but we never knew why maybe Chloe did and she never told me but I surely did not.

Some months after I went to see Frank again you know just catch up, when i drove to his RV which were at our favourite spot. I froze when I got out of the car and saw Rachel there with Frank, I did not know what to feel betrayed or hurt shocked or confused maybe a mix they weren't only together but kissing I felt like throwing up they went in the RV and then I drove off before I left the site I threw a rock on the side window of the RV and drove as fast as I could. I did not want to tell Chloe since I knew her feelings for Rachel were deeper than mine so I left her out of it but soon enough I started hanging out with Crystal and Zac again.

I had not talked to neither Rachel or Chloe for a while and it was to my surprise when I woke up one day at campus and went to the bathroom to see a missing persons report my eyes were still not awake so I just thought oh unfortunate and when I walked back from the bathroom to my dorm I saw her face Rachel frickin Amber. How the hell did this happen, I took the poster and went inside my dorm and cried. That day I decided to contact Chloe and ask her what happened her response was pretty harsh and cold and she basically told me nothing she hung up and then I sat there shocked.

Everyone on campus was talking about her "did you hear about that girl who is missing" "Rachel Amber" I couldn't concentrate at all "Bella all good?" Crystal waved her hand in front of my face "Yeah I'm fine" both Crystal and Zac were just talking about the new petition Zac wanted to make for the stranded whales and even though Crystal also loved animals she rolled her eyes "Heres another petition for you" and she wrote down on a piece of paper "sign for nerds to be quiet" and she had written her name down on it and she gave it to Zac and laughed.

Heres some pics to the fic, me as Bella obvi and then Nathan, Rachel, Chloe and Frank:3

[ofbrokendreams]

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. Part Four

Part four of four of Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Hit up AO3 for the full fic.

TW: cursing, discussions of sex, discussions of abuse, discussions of mental health, discussions of drug use, discussion of suicide, depiction panic attack, pregnancy (let me know if I missed anything)

FUTURE TOGETHER

Aisha Antonia Berzatto is born on a rainy-sunny Tuesday afternoon. And Carmen’s a fucking idiot because he thought babies were like exclusively born at night or early in the morning. But his daughter, fuck, his daughter is born at two seventeen in the afternoon. And it was storming like crazy in the morning as he looked out the hospital window and Syd dosed as best she could and then it was sunny, the warm rays breaking through and landing on Sydney. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t fucking been there.

But Syd opens her eyes and presses the nurse button. “I really, really, really need to push,” she says calmly and the nurse nods. The sun is shining for the hour it takes for Aisha to arrive and with her first little cry the rain starts again. 

Carmen cuts the cord and hands her to Sydney who places her on her bare chest. And Carmy laughs, soft and real when her little nose crinkles and she roots (he thinks that’s the right word) around for food. Truly her parent’s child.

Carmy holds her a lot in the hospital. Won’t let the nurses take her and begrudgingly hands her off to Mr. Adamu (“Your mother would be honored, Baby.” He says when they tell him her name) and Sugar and Pete (“You really named her after this one?” Sugar asks with a laugh and Sydney shrugs “I wanted to name her Carmen straight out but he turned me down.” “God you really are love sick,” Sugar gags and its so childish and perfect.) and Richie (“She’s gorgeous, shit, look at all that hair- uh sorry, Cousins.) when they stop by individually. But he holds her and stares at her a lot. 

She’s got dark eyes like her mother and her grandmother he remembers from pictures, a slightly different shade of beautiful brown than her grandfather. She seems to stare back at him all the same.

She’s perfect and beautiful and tiny. So fucking tiny. 

They get to go home two days later. Syd does so well, she’s feeling okay she insists sore but okay, no tearing and the bleeding is what it is.

When they’re home, they sit together on the couch and just stare at Aisha in her little teddy bear onesie and matching hat. Her little yawns and lip smacks and curls of her tiny brown fingers. She’s got this full head of black, black, black hair that’s silky soft and Sydney thinks she’ll have curls closer to Carmy’s then her own. Her skin is so soft, only slightly lighter than Sydney’s skin tone which Syd says surprised her but makes Carmy happy. He’d love her no matter what color her skin was. But if he had his way she’d look exactly like Syd. But she doesn’t, not exactly. 

He wouldn’t be surprised if people called Aisha Sydney’s twin in the future cause she does look like her mother but she’s got his nose. He whispers apologies into her sweet baby scent when he puts her into the pack and play bassinet next to their bed that first night. Sydney rolls her eyes when he gets into bed. “You’re very good looking, Carmy. Like I know-like how do you not know that? You’re incredibly handsome.” Carmy shakes his head and shrugs. “As long as you’re happy.” Syd rolls her eyes again tracing his nose with a finger. “I’m happy.”

“You’re very beautiful,” he says quietly a few minutes later in the darkness of their room. Syd hums and curls against him. Carmy thinks of the vice memo on his phone, the one where he told Aisha about that first time he saw her mother, of ‘oh no she’s pretty’, he wants to tell Syd what he thought even back then but it-its a nice secret just for him and Aisha. Just for the two of them to know how long he’s loved Syd.

They baptize Aisha in Sydney’s church because Carmy’s catholic in the way people say all Italians are which is to say he hasn’t stepped foot in a church since he was like fourteen and it was Christmas morning. But he’s been to the church Mr. Adamu and his wife went to and Syd grew up in a couple of times now. And it feels right. 

Marcus hugs him so tight Carmy’s afraid he might bruise something when they ask him to be her godfather but he hugs him back. They’re friends, in a way Carmy doesn’t have to ask at this point, he may be his best friend outside of Syd and boss-employee only in a literal way (Carmy does employee Marcus). Professionally Carmy trusts Marcus completely and personally he trusts him in general (which for Carmy is practically everything). Sydney’s best friend Tori is her godmother and the two stand up at the altar with Syd and Carmy as Aisha cries, the pastor and the congregation chuckles. 

They eat the best soul food he’s ever had in the church basement after service. He’s still not completely sold on church and faith but these people are good and kind and they love Sydney and Aisha and maybe even him. 

And Sydney and Marcus and sometimes Sweeps, raz him about being a white boy but it’s nice somehow, it’s like funny. Like they’re sharing an inside joke. And it’s ten fold in her church but it feels like acceptance.

He enthusiastically agrees when a couple older ladies offer to help teach him how to take care of Aisha’s hair when she’s older. He knows Sydney’ll be able to teach him but he figures there’s wisdom in the village.

He wants to learn everything there is to know about rising a black daughter, wants her to be proud of her Nigerian and African-American heritage as much as her Italian. 

He’s scoured all of Sydney’s cookbooks and recipes, memorized some of them. 

Syd laughs at him sometimes, reminds him he has a lifetime to learn and sighs wistfully when he explains that he just wants Aisha to be happy and carefree for as long as possible.

Sydney thinks of the first time he helped her take out her braids. Both of them nervous and laughing at themselves. The first time he touched her natural hair and how he’d whispered almost in awe, “it’s so soft Syd, it’s beautiful.” And she’d felt her face warm and it was almost to much attention. 

Ever since they started this, since they became partners in every way. He asks too many questions and wants to know to much. Is to earnest in his quest for cultural knowledge. 

But then in her head she hears “I’m trying Syd. I’m trying and I just I need time and-“ and then she’s happy to explain this shit to him again. And he listens because he really does want to get this right. 

It’s not exactly equivalent to sharing her whole culture with him but she asks him about Donna. She gives him a safe space to discuss anything he wants to, to give her any burden he wants to share. She asks him to explain what he now knows was abuse growing up. How it felt to grow up in that house, twelve years younger then the brother he idolized and only four younger then the sister that attempted to protect him. 

She gives him space to talk about how hard it was when Mike cut him off, pushed him away and how he left and thought about never looking back but Chicago was his home. He admits late one night that he always knew he’d come back but he’d assumed it’d be in a box or some shit. But then it wasn’t him, it was Michael and it was shocking more so because he didn’t know it was coming. 

Because Michael wouldn’t take his calls, wouldn’t talk to him and so he didn’t know about the drugs or the money and- She places her hand over his heart and feels the edge of his ring-her ring under her hand and the warmth of his skin under her fingertips. Their apartment is quiet then save for the baby monitor and Aisha’s soft baby breath and Carmy’s harsh inhales.

Life moves on, continues on. 

Aisha grows daily and it makes his heart beat to fast when he thinks about it and if he’s fucking up but then like Sugar or Syd or fucking Uncle Jimmy at her first birthday are telling him he’s good, he’s doing good and people love him and his kid and his wife. And fuck he has a wife and a kid and an award winning restaurant.

They still fight, and it gets bad, sometimes about life and sometimes about their business. But they apologize and make up and promise to be better and they actually try to keep that promise. 

And sometimes he gets so angry that he calls her by her full name, Sydney Berzatto. Its like a hard reset, allows him to recalibrate, to remind himself that he’s not fighting alone. Even when they’re pissing each other off and messing up and hurting each other they’re together, they’re partners, they’re a family.

He looks at all he’s built and had gifted to him. He misses Michael and his mom, who he’s had to completely cut out of his life for his own mental health. He’s guiltily grateful for the way things turned out. 

When Sydney walked around that corner in The Beef he’d have given anything in that moment to have Michael back and not speaking to him just to have him alive. And now Sydney and Aisha are his whole world and it’s good and wholesome and bright. 

Its beyond dazzling sometimes he can’t breathe with how overwhelmed he is by how good his life is now. Then he does breathe, he lives and keeps living.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

I just gave it a shot:

Play

Carmy and Sydney are sitting side by side in a family service that takes place after an insanely busy lunch service, which has proved to be obscenely profitable, so they are actually celebrating. But they are so exhausted that they don’t even feel like eating or talking for that matter. Most of the staff falls into easy conversation as per usual, small talk that turns into laughter, the typical internal jokes between Ebra and Tina that crack everyone start causing their typical effect in the tight-knit group but Carmy and Syd remain silent, at the head of the table. At the other end of the table, Richie clocks the EC’s hand that creeps upon Sydney’s braids and starts casually playing with them. She doesn’t mind and lets him continue indulging in this innocent game he loves. Carmy is not even aware he’s doing it and keeps it up. They are both in their bubble and Richie’s falcon eyes are all over them. Cousin says nothing. Two days later, in a run-of-the-mill shift meeting, the same creepy tattooed hand strikes Sydney’s braids again and Richie side-eyes it but tries to play it cool till the meeting is over. Once the meeting finishes, Richie, unable to keep his silence any longer, pulls Carmy aside to have a word. "Cousin, is there something you wanna tell me?" “Nope.” Richie’s voice laced with unease clarifies, "I've noticed you have been “playing” for lack of a better term with Syd’s hair a lot lately. I know you guys are close, but it seems a bit odd unless…” Sydney shows up unannounced behind Richie and goes, "Unless you mind your fucking business and understand that it's just something he does, Richie. It's like a comfort thing for him, I guess. It doesn't bother me, so I’m not sure why it seems to bother you." “It doesn’t bother me, it just looks unprofessional.” Carmy looks unbothered by Richie’s comments by Syd is furious. "Just because something doesn't fit into your narrow view of what's professional doesn't mean it's not," Sydney retorts, her eyes flashing with anger. "Try focusing on your own habits before criticizing others, Richie." Richie, taken aback by Sydney's fiery defense, stammers for a moment before replying, "All right, I hear you. I'll mind my own business, boss." Carmy, having stayed silent throughout the exchange, finally speaks up. "Maybe you’re just jealous, cousin. Do you want me to play with your hair too?” “Oh, was that it? Sorry, Richie, my bad. You deserve some love too. But Carmy, cousin doesn’t have much hair left to play with… you will have to hurry up.” Syd and Carmy both laugh out loud and Richie storms out, visibly obfuscated. The next day in family service Carmy stands behind Richie’s chair and starts to innocently play with his hair, “Touch me one more time, lizard and I swear to God I will rip it off.” Carmy backs off smiling mischievously and Sydney’s voice from the other side of the room rings out, "Careful, Richie, he signs your checks with that hand, plus stress causes hair loss, you might wanna relax!" Everybody laughs at Cousin’s expense and he storms out, yet again. Later that day, at Carmy’s place, while he’s doing the dishes, Syd goes up behind him, wraps her arms around his waist, and as she places her chin on his shoulder asks, “How do you think he will react when he finds out you also “play” with other parts of me?” ;)

Someone needs to write a fanfic of Carmy rubbing his hand along Syd's back, and he doesn't realize he's doing it. Like right in the middle of a shift meeting, and Richie side eyes it.

[welightthefire]

Table For Two ~ Part Nine

In collaboration with @allieboop

Jake Kiszka x OC x Josh Kiszka

Summary: “What started out as a new job unexpectedly became more for Sydney Baker. There's only room at the table for two... How will she navigate her feelings and come to a decision? How can she choose between two sides of the same coin?”

Warnings: hangovers, mentions of sex, feelings, angst/fluff

Word Count: ~5k

taglist // playlist // masterpost

A/N: we can't say how much we appreciate every one of you, you guys are the BEST. all feedback is welcome <3

Part Nine

The annoying chirping of birds was what awoke Syd Monday morning. The sun from the day before had decided to hide away behind the pale grey clouds in the sky, which she found herself thankful for in her groggy hungover state. The pounding in her head was slight, yet as she moved to sit up, she felt a sharp twinge of pain through her forehead. 

She wiped the sleep from her eyes and took a moment to look around her. From where she sat on the loveseat, she could see Josh and Danny laying opposite each other on the other sofa. Danny was leaned up against the right arm with his upper body curled into the backrest while Josh had his arms loosely circled around his friend’s bent calf. His head was hanging forward to rest against his own shoulder. He would be feeling that one later on. 

Her eyes wandered over to where Sam was sitting propped up against the wall beneath the front window, holding a mini garbage can in between his legs. At some point, he had managed to tie his hair up into a sloppy bun at the nape of his neck. Fearing the contents of the bin, she decided she would leave him until she had to face him after he had awoken. 

Jake’s position on the floor elicited a giggle from her lips. The garbage-covered coffee table that was in the center of the room had been pushed aside and replaced with his body. He was laying face down on his stomach with one leg hitched up and his cheek resting atop both of his hands. His sleep-painted face was turned towards her, strands of messy hair covering one eye. A particularly wavy piece had fallen in front of his chapped lips, blowing in the gentle breeze produced by his exhale. 

Syd took a moment to recall the last moments of her eventful night. Josh had ultimately disappeared for the remainder of the party until people started heading out. She figured he had found someone to indulge in conversation with, which was fine with her. It had given her time to focus on the drink Jake had gotten for her and come down from the emotional rollercoaster from before.

She never ended up dancing again.  

Sam had suggested they watch a movie to settle down for sleep, although their brains were too foggy to even really focus on the screen. He had put on some obscure film about a murderous, sentient tire. Syd didn’t understand it, but nonetheless, it was a switch up from the fast-paced rock music that had been flowing through the house the entire night with the sounds of crunching gravel and over-dramatic voices filling the room instead. 

While she sat with her legs tucked beneath her on the loveseat, Jake had brought her over a fuzzy blanket off the couch Danny and Josh had claimed, allowing her to protect her modesty. He took it upon himself to sit right down on the floor in front of her with his neck pressed back into the plush cushion. 

With the movie playing, Syd let her fingers weave through his long, knotted locks absentmindedly. She had found herself spaced out as she focused on the shifting colors reflecting on the hardwood from the screen. While her mind stayed empty, her hands stayed busy braiding half-assed plaits into the man’s hair just to pull them out and start over again. Jake had passed out like that, and Syd had fallen asleep on her side, curled up towards his shoulders. The last thing she remembered before she went under was gazing at the arc of white from the television screen illuminating the slope of his nose. 

She knew it was a matter of time before the others woke up, and in no hurry to start her day, she sat back and reached her arms high above her head. The tightness in her muscles and joints stretched out deliciously, causing a deep and slow exhale to leave her lips. 

Her first thought was to get a pot of coffee going. She knew she needed it just as much as the others still asleep in the living room. After she had placed the filter full of grounds into the machine, she let it run while she made her way to Sam’s bedroom to steal a pair of sweatpants. 

With a clean pair of too-long grey drawstring joggers covering her legs, Syd decided to make a pit stop in the bathroom to freshen up. She left the door open this time, not an invitation to anyone, but rather because the moment she saw the sink, the walls started to close in around her. As she braced her palms against either side of the sink bowl, thoughts of Josh began to cloud her mind. 

Swollen lips eagerly running along the expanse of her neck. 

Tanned hands massaging into the meat of her thighs. 

The feeling of his lips and tongue against-

Josh, stop.

Syd screwed her eyes closed as she gripped the porcelain tighter. Her knees buckled with the feeling of how much she had wanted him, needed him. Needed to feel him. Her heart ached and constricted in her chest while the memory of Jake acting so innocently pure took over. 

Those dark puppy dog eyes that glistened with excitement when he found her. 

Sweaty hands woven with hers as he urged her to dance. 

Lips plump with a pathetic, yet absolutely precious pout as Sam pulled him away to get her a drink. 

I missed you so, so, so much! Jake had said. 

If only he knew what she was doing while she was gone. Would he still have missed her? Would he have spent the rest of the night glued to her side? What would he think, say?

Tears pricked hot in the corners of Syd’s eyes. She glanced up at herself in the mirror, effectively removing her gaze from her white-clenched knuckles. Just the same as the night before, she took the opportunity to splash cool water on her face. Not to wake up, but to sober herself from her own mental hell. 

Taking a few more moments to herself in the bathroom, she worked her way down the hallway, through the living room, across the kitchen, and retrieved one of the mismatched coffee mugs that hung on a spoke attached to the wall. She poured the steaming hot coffee in, adding two spoonfuls of sugar, and left the cup there on the kitchen island to grab the blanket she had used while she slept.

Syd allowed the blanket to fall over her bare shoulders, welcoming the comfort of the soft fabric. With the burning hot mug in hand, she quietly slipped through the sliding glass door that led out onto the back porch of Sam’s home. She sat herself down on the top step of the wooden structure that looked out over the foggy, dew-dampened lawn and took a sip of the hot liquid. 

It soothed her dry throat on the way down, warming her up from the inside out. She spent the next several minutes attempting to pay attention to the birdsong, the crisp morning breeze, and the way the humidity clung to her skin in such a clammy way. Yet, the feelings of guilt started to overcome her again. 

While she tried to avoid thoughts by focusing on anything else around her, grounding herself, the sound of the door sliding open made her jump. The forgotten coffee in her mug had cooled significantly, merely wetting her hand as her spill dripped down her fingers and left small dotted stains on the fabric of Sam’s sweatpants. 

She had closed her eyes and hoped to whatever God was above that it wasn’t one of the twins. To her relief, it was Sam. He had put on a pink knit sweater and readjusted his bun, but still wore the same dark wash jeans he had on from the night before. 

He came over to sit beside his friend, the scent of hot coffee lifting through her nostrils as the plumes of steam danced in the air. His shoulder gently brushed against hers as the two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the serenity of the morning. 

Sam was the first to break the quiet with a cocky comment. “I was wondering why there was a skirt on my floor.”

Syd’s eyes darted down to her cloth-covered knees where her mug sat nestled in between her palms. She didn’t say anything in response, just offered a shrug at her friend’s attempt at a joke. 

He must have picked up on her somber mood as he didn’t try to get her to laugh further. Instead, his goofy demeanor subsided completely with his next words. 

“What’s going on with you and my brothers, Syd?”

She slumped, exasperated with his ability to read her so well. “Nothing,” she stated, although it came out as more of a spunky question. “How was your puke bucket?”

Sam let out a sigh and nudged into her side with his. “You know you can talk to me, right? Nothing has changed.”

Syd stared out into the yard a moment before replying. “I know, it’s just…”

“Weird because I’m their brother.” Sam finished. 

“A bit, yeah,” she ran a hand through her messy hair, briefly looking to the side at him. “I just get so anxious because I literally have no clue what’s going on, Sam. It’s like everything was so easy, and now it’s so fucking complicated.”

“I’m still your best friend. Not theirs. Just because things have changed between them, we’re still us. That’s not gonna change.”

And he was right. From the moment they first spoke in that one-off art class, he was her best friend and she was his. Through lazy movie days and long, pointless drives to nowhere. The day Sam had first moved into his house and the two of them had spent all night drinking wine and playing monopoly on the hardwood floor surrounded by boxes instead of unpacking a single thing. 

She thought of that entire week, years before when Syd’s family dog had passed and Sam never left her side. He had dragged her out of bed to get depression snacks at Walmart and on their way out, someone was giving away a litter of kittens. She didn’t want to get a new pet, but Sam had convinced her it would be good for her to have something to love and help her heal throughout the heartache. She had ultimately decided on the smallest tabby with the too-big ears and a scratchy mew. Sam ended up going back into the store and bought everything Syd would need to care for her new companion and they spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor of her living room playing with him. 

They had gone through so much together and lived through so much together. Syd couldn’t imagine a life without Sam by her side and to think that she couldn’t confide in him for even a second made her feel shady inside. She didn’t want to push him out. Especially now, she couldn’t. 

“I-“ she twisted the ring around her thumb. “I think I like Jake.”

Sam laughed out loud. “You think?”

“I do, dumbass.” She shoved into his side with a sheepish grin on her face. “I like him. A lot.”

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes at her confession, even though he was happy to finally hear it roll off her tongue. 

“Sam.”

“Sorry, sorry. Carry on.” He took a deep breath and poised himself, sitting up just a tad bit straighter. 

“I like Jake,” Syd started again, leaned her head back to peek at the clouds above her. “But I think I like Josh, too? I don’t know. It’s all very… confusing.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Something happened last night… between me and Josh-”

“In my bed?!” Sam shouted. “Sydney, gross!”

“No, Sam, shut up!” His outburst made her flinch as she shushed him, hoping no one else had heard the sentence. “It’s not what you’re thinking, but it just happened. Fast. And I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Did you… want it to happen?” 

“I mean, I guess so.” Syd’s eyes flashed back down to her fingers. She still felt the burning shame as if she was back in that moment with Josh. “But the whole time, I was thinking about Jake. I felt so fucking guilty. I feel awful.”

She sighed, expecting Sam to scold her for such a horrible act. She waited on him to express his disdain for her feelings about his brothers and his disgust with how she’s treated them. She prepared herself for him to question her morality, but instead, he posed a different question. 

“Does Jake know?”

“About last night? God, no-“ she huffed. 

“No, I mean about your feelings.”

“I-I didn’t want to tell him yet. Not until I knew if he felt the same. And now I don’t want to tell him because of what happened with Josh. I know I have to make a choice, but there’s so much more that goes into it.” She turned her body to face Sam, crossing her legs underneath her. “It’s like no matter what I do, I hurt them. If I choose, I’m still hurting someone in the end. And what if I choose the wrong person? What if I choose, and it was all a mistake?”

Sam turned and matched his friend’s position, peering down so he could look into her eyes. “Syd, I’ve seen the way they both look at you. How they talk to you. Both of them feel the same. But one of them is gonna have to deal with not having you at some point.”

“I don’t know…” Syd dropped her head into her hands. “I just know I don’t want to pit them against each other.”

Sam set his mug on the patio floor beside him, gently removing the mug from her hand as well. He pulled her towards him and rubbed his hands across the small expanse of her shoulder blades. 

“Take some time to figure it out. It’s gonna suck. It’s really gonna fucking suck, but only you know who can give you what you need. Sometimes the best thing to do is listen to your heart.”

Syd let out a boisterous laugh, immediately regretting her decision to do so. She pushed her face into Sam’s shoulder to alleviate some of the pressure behind her eyes before she pulled back from the embrace. 

“If I wanted a quote from an inspirational cat poster, I would have fucking googled it.”

A smug grin lit up her best friend’s face as he leaned back against the wooden banister. “Yet you still came to me.”

At work that night, there was little talking that took place. Everyone was recovering from the mounds of alcohol they had ingested, so focusing on work duties required their full efforts. 

Syd didn’t risk looking at Josh throughout the workday, no matter how bad she wanted to. She wished to see if he looked as hurt as he did last night. If he was just as disgusted with her as she was with herself. If she had truly messed up their friendship as bad as she thought she had. But she didn’t instigate. Too afraid of what she would find. 

It wasn’t until the next morning that she decided she would face the terrible decision she had made. 

—

She had come to the library for the same reason anyone would. It usually was her happy place, but not now. Now, when she entered the building, she felt an ick. One that she had never experienced in such a calm, serene place. 

She could almost see herself giggling with Josh in the corner of the room. Them snickering when the librarians told them to quiet down. Running out of the building with clasped hands and blushing faces. She missed that. 

Even sitting at her favorite table with a book of her favorite genre didn’t feel the same. She couldn’t focus on the words on the pages. She couldn’t submerge herself into the plot. She couldn’t even remember what the title was. 

Especially not when Josh walked in. 

Any other time, he’d grab a book and turn his head to look around the space, curious to know if Syd was in the building as she usually would be. Once he found her, he would smile and make his way to the table. But not today. 

Today, he walked right up to a shelf, flipped through the spines for two specific books, checked them out, and left. 

Without as much as a double take, he… left.

So she went to the only other place she could think of. His spot. 

Each time she came here, it seemed as if the trek became shorter and shorter. She had grown more familiar with the area, so it no longer seemed like a journey to make it all the way out to the ledge. But today, it felt as if she couldn’t get there fast enough. 

She didn’t run, far too worried she would hurt herself or scare Josh, but she walked as quickly as her short legs would allow her to. 

When she arrived, she found him with his back to her, feet dangling from the edge of the boulder with a book in hand. She couldn’t see much, but the slump in his shoulders indicated that he wasn’t nearly as cheerful and bright as he normally seemed. She felt a pang in her chest. 

Syd sensed the nerves fester in her veins, and she cursed herself for not thinking about what she was gonna say before she got here. If she would’ve recited her spiel, maybe she would have had a better chance at calming the shitstorm she had produced in the span of one night. She looked him over once more before starting, hoping the right words would come to her when the ice had been broken. 

“Josh,” she all but whispered. She kept her voice low, speaking under her breath so she wouldn’t startle him. For a moment, she was afraid it was much too quiet for him to hear, but when his body ran rigid, she knew he was aware of her presence. 

“Sydney,” he addressed. She had never heard him sound so monotonous. The tone made her shudder with discomfort. 

“Can I sit?”

He shrugged and turned his head, not looking at her, but focusing on the empty place beside him. “No one’s stopping you.”

She sighed as she slowly walked over to him. She already felt defeated. This conversation was bound to go nowhere, and there was no hope. She had truly lost him. Once she sat, she crossed her legs under her and tried to speak again. “I felt like we should… talk.”

“Yeah, we should,” was all he responded with, closing the book in hand and holding it in his lap. 

At least they agreed on one thing. 

Syd wished he would start the conversation himself. She wished he would just tell her how upset he was with her and how he regretted even dancing with her. She wanted him to get the worst part of this over so she could apologize and stop feeling so guilty. But that was selfish of her. 

She knew they needed to sort this out. Figure out what the hell happened and if there was any coming back from it. 

She sighed and let herself ramble. “First of all, you have every right to be upset with me. I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did, and if you want to yell at me or be mad, I completely understand. I just-“

She was cut off by Josh huffing a laugh at her. The noise was devoid of humor, and she could tell that he found her words more ironic than funny. “I’m not mad, and I don’t want to yell at you.” 

Her breathing stopped, caught completely off guard by his response. “You’re… what?”

Josh shrugged again. “It’s my fault. And I’m sorry.”

He seemed so disconnected, pained because of the situation. His voice rarely changed speed, volume, or pitch, but that made him seem even more hurt. “Josh, I… How is any of this your fault? I told you to kiss me. I wanted you to-“

“But then you told me to stop,” he interrupted, finally chancing to look up at her. There were tears in his wide, brown eyes. “I was confused, but it’s still my fault that you had to stop me. You’re allowed to change your mind during times like those.”

“Just because I stopped you doesn’t mean I didn’t want you,” she noted. She felt her cheeks turn pink at the admission, and they only reddened more when Josh’s eyes flickered from hers to her lips and back up. He quickly turned away from her again. 

Now was the time to put it all on the line, she thought. Honesty was the only thing that would make things get better if they were destined to do so. She had to tell the truth. 

“Josh you’re one of my best friends, and that night showed me… well, I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but…” She looked down at her hands fumbling together, twisting her rings for comfort. “I wanted it. God, I wanted it. But I didn’t only want that, ya know? I was afraid of losing my best friend to a drunk decision in his brother’s bathroom. That’s just not how I wanted it to happen.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, looking around at the expanse of nature in front of them both. “Me neither.” His gaze dropped to his lap while he traced his finger along the book’s edges. “I just feel like I overstepped maybe? I feel bad.”

“Please don’t. You made sure that I was the one in control of the situation, and I told you to keep going. You were only listening to me.”

It took him a moment to respond. Syd could see the gears turning in his mind as he contemplated accepting her words. “I guess you’re right.”

Her lips turned up in a small smile. “I always am.” 

He scoffed, this time with much less malice and discomfort. He adopted a smile that matched hers. “You sound like Sam.”

“That’s probably the worst thing you could’ve ever told me,” she joked. And with that, they shared a heartfelt and genuine laugh. When they both collected themselves, she started again. “Seriously though, I promise it’s okay. We can put this behind us and… figure things out. Together.”

She didn’t know she had put her hand on top of his until he absentmindedly rubbed a thumb over her fingers. 

“Yeah. Together,” he repeated, looking at their intertwined hands. “Where do we start?”

She sighed as she thought to herself. She wasn’t sure what could come from all of this, especially with her feelings for Jake still being such a huge part of her life. Maybe Josh was right for her. Jake hadn’t outwardly said anything about liking her back, even if Sam did claim to know how his brothers felt. Maybe she had been taking all of Jake’s gestures in the wrong way. She’d let herself become deluded by her own feelings, too stuck on Jake to see what possibilities lay with her friendship with Josh. 

“We should take things slow. I need to work on some things before we do anything too drastic.” She hoped he would accept her vagueness for what it was, rather than asking for clarity on what exactly she needed to work on. If he hadn’t caught on to how she felt about Jake, she knew now was not a good time to tell him about it. She continued before he could push further, adding humor to the difficult conversation. “We should certainly avoid being in any bathrooms together.”

The light in Josh’s eyes seemed to twinkle again as he let out a hearty laugh. Syd laughed, too, glad that they could joke about the matter. She pulled her hand out of his and began to mess with her rings again while she watched him catch his breath. 

While thoughts of that night were still fresh on her mind, none of them made her feel as queasy as they had before. She had told herself that she wished she could forget it ever happened, but now, it seemed as if she and Josh truly had a connection that only they understood. The mishap had brought them closer in a way, and for that, she was thankful.

There was a watery smile on Syd’s face as she looked at him. She was so happy to be sitting beside him in this place again, but the possibility of losing him made her sad. They had worked so hard to find friendship within each other, and she couldn’t believe they had almost let all of that go down the drain.

Before the silence could settle, she whispered to him. “Thank you for not hating me, Josh.”

He looked at her again. That same look that she couldn’t get enough of, that same look that made her feel as if she was the only thing that mattered in the world. “You know I couldn’t do that.”

She shrugged and dropped her head, adopting a passive tone. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Hey,” Josh scolded gently. He placed a tentative hand on her thigh for good measure. “Stop that. I’d hate myself before I hated you.”

Syd studied his hand for a moment, letting herself get lost in her head. As tense as things were, she was pleased that she could still find comfort in his touch. Maybe she shouldn’t let her thoughts run wild, but she allowed herself to indulge some. She let herself think back to that night, just briefly, and reimagine every touch, sigh, whimper. Everything they had shared in the privacy of each other’s company. She looked back up at him.

Those eyes. His beautiful browns that were so similar to Jake’s, yet so different in their own ways. The warm irises that reflected the warmth of the afternoon sun. The kind, reassuring nature that rested there. She had to shake her head to free herself from the grasp of his stare. 

She chuckled at herself, knowing that Josh noticed her staring. She gestured toward the book in his lap. “What ya reading?”

He retracted his hand from Sydney and smiled down at the book, charmed that she had brought it up. “Oh, this? It’s, uh, film and theater stuff. Been thinking of starting another project. A short film maybe.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” She beamed.

“Yeah, but it probably won’t happen, so…” Josh let his thought trail off.

“Why not?”

He shrugged and scraped his fingernail along the edges of the pages. “The technique I want to try is pretty complicated, and the money from the diner can only get me so far. Especially when I have other priorities in mind.” 

Josh wore a flirtatious grin that Syd caught on to. She blushed at the meaning behind his words. “I’d love to still take a look at it. Whether it happens or not, I’m sure it’s a fabulous idea.”

He hummed. “Maybe I’ll recruit you to star in it.” His grin turned into a cocky smirk once he heard Sydney giggle at the suggestion. He bumped his shoulder against hers and chuckled with her. “You like that idea? I’ll get your name in lights and everything.”

The dramatic flair he added to his statements only made her giggle more. “I’ll need a red carpet to walk on too, mister.”

“You’ve got it,” he promised. “Anything for you.”

It wasn’t much longer until they both had to go into work that night, but they were glad that they could start their workday with a fresh start. They didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle past one another when clocking in, they didn’t have to work overtime to avoid eye contact, and they certainly didn’t have to worry about the uncomfortable tension sticking to the walls of the diner.

They could finally go back to enjoying each other’s presence. No guilt, no shame, and no fear attached.

Josh arrived at work that day with a newfound sense of hopefulness. He believed that things could work out with Sydney as long as they did as she had instructed. Go slow. 

Yet when he noticed his twin’s interactions with the young woman, Josh had trouble staying optimistic. He had noticed their small touches and private conversations before, and he knew that Jake felt a particular way about Sydney. Josh had suspected that she had started to feel the same way about him, but that was before the party. That was before they had shared such an intimate moment together. That was before they talked things out together. He imagined the flirting and teasing would dwindle, especially now that she had made the decision that they would work on their relationship. Their potential relationship, at least.

But it didn’t. Jake didn’t change his ways with Sydney. He persisted and progressed throughout that week, his flirtatious gestures only becoming more affectionate and feverish. 

From Jake disappearing from the kitchen to go talk to Syd, to him stealing hugs while she cleaned tables and put in orders, she was falling under his spell. And Josh knew he had to do something about it. 

If he wanted to truly win her heart, he had to take measures into his own hands. He wouldn’t act foolishly, but he had to think of something that would make Sydney look at him the way that she looked at Jake. The same way she looked at Josh when they talked privately. He needed her. 

He came up with a plan. He’d use his day off to surprise her. Show up at her home with an extravagant itinerary planned out for the both of them. He could only hope to take the step to put labels on their relationship. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to worry about Jake coming in between them. 

--

part 10>>>

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[4stars-uswnt]

Dressed Up In White [Emily Sonnett x Reader]

A/N: this wasn’t requested (sorry!! i will get to all of your requests soon! i promise) but i listened to this song and couldn’t help myself.

this is a squel to Wonder What it’s Like to be Loved by You, though you technically don’t need to read it before this one (but you should ;)), and it’s inspired by the song Dressed Up In White by CAL (btw i had to change one of the lyrics to fit two women)

Listen to Dressed Up In White by CAL here

You hear a knock, halting your pacing.

“Can I come in?” Christen opens the door, peeking her head in.

You give her a sheepish nod, unable to find your voice, before continuing to pace.

“Woah, woah, (Y/N).” The older woman puts her hands on your shoulders. “What has you so worked up?”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh. “I’m nervous, which I know is stupid because I’ve been waiting for this day for years, but I just can’t shake this feeling.”

Christen takes your hands and guides you to sit down. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“Of course not!” Your eyes widen, and you shake your head. “I love Emily with all my heart, and I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Good. I knew that, just wanted to be sure.” Christen observes you, knowing there’s something deeper that’s bothering you. “Talk to me, (Y/N/N), what’s really going on?”

“I wish my parents were here.” You mumble, looking down at your hands. The older forward knew your story and how your parents had died in a car crash when you were only eight years old, and how you grew up in the system where everything went down hill, and how that led you to soccer and the USWNT.

When you had joined the Royals at the age of only 18, having aged out of the system, both Christen and Kelley took on a motherly role in your life. They always had your back and took care of you, supporting and helping you through all the trials and tribulations of life. Today, Christen was your maid of honor and Kelley your only bridesmaid.

“Oh, baby,” the curly-haired woman whispers, pulling you in for a tight hug. “They would’ve loved to be here to celebrate with you.”

For the next few minutes, Christen whispers sweet nothings in your ear, as you mourn the absence of your parents. Collecting yourself with a deep breath, you unwrap from the hug.

“Enough crying.” You let out a wet chuckle, wiping your eyes, careful not to ruin your makeup because you know Alex would have your head if you did. “This is supposed to be a happy day.”

“And it is.” She gives a small smile, squeezing your hands.

“Umm, Chris, can I ask you something?” You look at her nervously.

“Of course.”

“Willyouwalkmedowntheaisle?”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N/N), but you’re gonna have to repeat that and maybe slow down a little.” Christen chuckles, her eyes warm and comforting.

“Will you walk me down the aisle?” You repeat, holding your breath, waiting for a response, before rambling on. “I know I should’ve thought of this sooner or asked you earlier, but I didn’t really think about it till now, and you’re probably the closest person I have to a mother or a father, so it only seems fitting. I totally understand if you—”

“(Y/N)!” Christen cuts you off, her eyes getting misty. “I would be honored to walk you down the aisle.” She pulls you in for another bone-crushing hug.

“Hey, kiddo, you almost ready?” Kelley steps through the door. “Oh, I see how it is, no love for me then?”

You roll your eyes and move to give Kelley a tight hug. “Proud of you, (Y/N/N).” She whispers into your hair.

“Love you, Kel.”

“You ready?” Christen approaches from behind you, holding her arm out for you to take. Not missing the gesture, Kelley raises her eyebrow.

“Chris is gonna walk me down the aisle.” You quickly explain.

The defender’s face softens. “Well, we better get out there. It’s time.”

—————

You and Christen walk on the pathway through the garden, and when you arrive at the venue area, you gasp. There at the end of the aisle stood Emily Sonnett, the love of your life, dressed in her tailored suit. You faintly hear the notes of Can’t Help Falling in Love playing in the air and barely notice the guests standing, as your attention is solely on the woman waiting for you.

After what feels like the longest walk, you finally stand before her. You turn to hug Christen, who whispers a quick ‘I love you,’ to which you return.

The forward then turns to Emily and says, “Take care of her,” which Emily responds with a nod and a quiet ‘of course.’

Ashlyn, who you had chosen to officiate, which both Syd and Pinoe had some objections to, starts the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate (Y/N) and Emily and the love they share. I have personally witnessed the growth and strength of their relationship. The love, respect, and commitment they have for each other never fails to awe me, though may I remind you that Ali and I are still the superior wives on the team.” She winks at the two of you, earning a couple laughs from your teammates and a ‘damn right’ from Ali.

Ash continues to trail on with the formalities of the ceremony, however both you and Emily fail to pay attention, your focus on each other.

“Well,” Ash clears her throat, snapping both of you out of your trances. “The rings?”

Cassius Dwyer hops out of his seat, reaches into his pocket, and carefully hands them to each of you. You and Emily crouch down to take them from him, ruffling his hair. “Thanks, bud.”

He gives you a toothy grin and scampers back to his seat next to his mom.

“Emily?” Ashlyn repeats.

“Hm?”

“Your vows?” The goalie chuckles knowingly.

Emily’s eyes widen at being caught staring at you for too long, and you giggle at her flustered state.

“(Y/N),” she clears her throat before continuing, “the moment you walked into my life, I knew you were special. You shine so bright and exude positivity wherever you go. For the past two and a half years, it has been an absolute privilege to be loved by you.” Emily takes a deep breath, and you run your thumb along her knuckles, sensing her nerves.

“Your passion for life makes me want to be a better person. I promise to be your best friend through thick and thin. I promise to always give you snuggles, even when you hog all the blankets.” You roll your eyes at that, as a light chuckle comes from the crowd.

“I promise to always support you and your aspirations. To always give you my best. I promise to never go easy on you in training even though I know you’ll beat me anyways.”

You hear many of your teammates laugh, and Kelley calls out from behind you. “Give yourself a little credit, Sonny!” She then turns to the rest of the guests. “It’s true though.” Another wave of laughter takes over the ceremony, as Emily finishes her vows.

“(Y/N), there are many things that I can’t promise, I know that, but what I can absolutely promise is to love you unconditionally day in and day out because that is something I know will never change. So, I give you this ring, as a symbol of that promise.”

By now, both you and Emily are on the verge of tears, as she shakily slips the wedding band onto your finger.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna follow that, (Y/N), but if anybody can, it’s definitely you,” Ashlyn prompts, encouraging you to say your vows.

You take a deep breath and gather yourself. “Emily, you constantly surprise me, distract me, captivate me, and challenge me in ways no one else ever has, and I thank you for that.

“You make it easy to fall in love with you again and again without reservation. I promise to be true to you, to uplift and support you, to frustrate and challenge you, and to always share with you the beautiful moments of life. And maybe, just maybe, I might let you win an argument once in a while.”

Emily just chuckles, shaking her head, scoffing under her breath, “As if.”

You just smirk at the blonde and continue your vows.

“No matter what trials we encounter or how much time has passed, I know our love will never fade or falter, that we will always find strength in one another, and that we will continue to grow side by side.

“I believe in the honesty of what we are and what we share, and I will love you always, with every beat of my heart. This ring is a token of my love. I offer you all that I have, all that I am, and all that I will be.”

You carefully slide the wedding band onto her finger.

“Do you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), take the Emily Sonnett to be your lawfully wedded wife, your best friend and partner in crime for the rest of your life?” Ashlyn officiates.

“I do.”

“And do you, Emily Sonnett, take the (Y/N) (Y/L/N) to be your lawful wedded wife, your confidant and go to person for the rest of your life?”

“I do.” The two of you share a shining smile.

“Well,” Ash sighs, her own eyes misty, “by the power vested in me, by oneminutemister.org, I now pronounce you wife and wife.” She pauses and smiles at the two of you waiting anxiously. Deciding to put you out of you misery, the woman finally announced, “You may now kiss!”

You cup Emily’s face and connect your lips for a searing kiss, your first of many as a married couple.

Resting your forehead against hers, you whisper against her lips, “I love you, Emily Sonnett.”

“I love you too, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

You give her a faux serious glare. “It’s Sonnett.”

She just gives you a soft look full of love and sighs contently. “Yeah, yeah it is.”

“C’mon, let’s go.” You grin, and you turn to walk down the aisle, as Emily raises your connected hands into the air, which causes your friends and family to clap and holler even louder.

“Woooooo!!!” Emily cheers along with them, and you just giggle, wondering to yourself how you got this lucky.

—————

“Ahem.” Emily clears her throat into the microphone. “If I could have everyone’s attention please.”

The entire venue turns to look at the blonde defender, who abandoned her suit blazer a while ago, her sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons unbuttoned.

“Firstly, I just want to thank you all for joining us this evening and making it special and one to remember.” She pauses, as many of the USWNT members cheer and holler, many of them on their way to being drunk. Emily then looks down at the seat next to her where you’re sitting, a soft smile on her face, and you glance up at her, eyes full of love. “Secondly, (Y/N), my wife, I am so grateful to be loved by you, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. There’s so much else I want to say, but I’m not the best with words.”

A wave of laughs echoes amongst the crowd, Lindsey and Kelley confirming that statement. “That’s an understatement, Em!” The midfielder yells, having spent hours upon hours helping her best friend write her vows.

Emily blushes but continues her speech. “Well, with that being said, I wrote a song instead.” She takes your hand and leads you to the chair that has been placed in the middle of the dance floor. As you take your seat, Emily, still with the mic in hand, heads up onto the stage, joining the band.

“For those of you who don’t know, our relationship actually started with me serenading (Y/N), so I thought I’d bring it full circle. Babe, this one’s for you.” Your wife gives you a wink and then mouths, ‘as always,’ before taking a deep breath, as the band starts playing an unfamiliar tune.

As far as heartbeats go

Mine is beating right out of my chest

As far as prayers may go

Oh damn it baby I feel blessed

Emily steps down from the stage and walks towards you.

As far as loving you

Well you know I'm a little obsessed

And as far as moments go

This is one we'll never forget

You bite your lip, as you unsuccessfully attempt to hide an ear-splitting grin from breaking out across your face, as you admire your wife.

Baby I've wanted this for as long as I know

'Cause I wrote this song a long long time ago

Emily glances at you and smirks, as you both know the truth behind the lyrics. The two of you had pined over each other for months before you had started dating and dated for years before you finally popped the question.  

And it goes

I wanna see you all dressed up in white

Baby I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life

And I told you since I met you

That you'd always be mine

You feel your heart swell with love for your wife, and you see out of the corner of your eye your teammates recording the performance, Kelley even giving you two big thumbs up.

And one day I

I was gonna make you my wife

Well baby tonight

Tonight I'm gonna make you my wife

Emily circles your chair as she sings, before kneeling before you. You tenderly caress her cheek, tears welling up in your eyes. She turns to kiss your palm, before standing up to continue singing.

As far as feelings go

This is the best feeling I've ever known

As far as where I wanna be

Well if you're there that's my home

By now, you’re full on ugly crying, using a tissue to try and save your makeup. You always love Emily’s voice, even if she’s playfully singing along to Mamma Mia for the hundredth time, but there’s something about her serenading you on your wedding night that makes you fall even more head over heels in love.

Everybody raise your glasses

And hold them up high

To the bride to the bride, everybody show some pride

I finally get to call you mine.

As you watch your wife move around the dance floor, performing with ease, you hear many of your teammates, friends, and family cheering, as they dance along to the song.

Your wife pulls you up from the chair and spins you around, a laugh bubbling from your mouth.

Woah, I wanna see you all dressed up in white

Baby I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life

And I told you, since I met you

That you'd always be mine

Baby tonight

Tonight I'm gonna make you my wife

As the last notes echo throughout the room, Emily pulls you close to her, your foreheads resting against each other. Everyone erupts in cheers, as the song finishes, but the two of you are in your own world.

“I love you, (Y/N),” she whispers, a little out of breath, “and I’ll love you forever.”

“I love you too, Em. I can’t wait to see where this life takes us.” You smile softly, before kissing her. Not wanting to put on a whole show for your guests, you pull away and lightly hit your wife’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe you wrote me another song.”

“What can I say?” Emily shrugs nonchalantly. “You deserve the best.”

“And that’s you?” You tease.

“Mhmm,” she hums, the two of you swaying amongst the other couples to the slow song the band is now playing, “and you married me, so you must think so too.”

You sigh peacfully, as you rest your chin on her shoulder. “Yeah, I do.”

—————

Liked by christenpress, kelleyohara, and 1,302,593 others

yourusername: She stole my heart, so I stole her last name

tagged: emilysonnett

- - - - -

uswnt: ❤️

christenpress: So happy for you (Y/N)! Love you so much❤️

kelleyohara: can’t believe the kids got married 🤧

↳emilysonnett: Kel, shut up. This sounds weird.

emilysonnett: I love you forever and ever. 🤍

lindseyhoran10: I can’t believe my best friends got married🥺🥺

ashlynharris24: What an honor to officiate this ceremony! Love you two and wish you nothing but the best.

lavellerose: Yay for being married! 🥳🍾

sydneyleroux: What a beautiful ceremony for a beautiful couple. Still salty you didn’t let me officiate, but I guess including Cassius made up for it…just a little bit

↳mrapinoe: I’m still salty

—————

Liked by lindseyhoran10, alexmorgan13, and 51,710 others

emilysonnett: So we did a thing yesterday…

tagged: yourusername

- - - - -

uswnt: Well this is definitely something… 🤗

yourusername: You’re my favorite human ever ❤️

lindseyhoran10: So happy for you Dasani!!! 

alexmorgan13: Love you two! Glad we all got to celebrate your love 💓

mrapinoe: Soulmates right there 

malpugh: favorite couple 😍

allie_long_: It finally happened! Congrats you guys!

alikrieger: YOUR SONG THO!!! SO ROMANTIC!! KILLED ME!

↳caitlinfoord: honestly the best part of the whole ceremony

↳kelleyohara: Aren’t you glad we forced you to sing to (Y/N) all those years ago.

        ↳emilysonnett: Maybe…

[katelynnwrites]

so long, london | sydney lohmann

warnings: angst once again

word count: 957

summary: you have to say goodbye to london because of sydney

a/n: the seventh and final installation of my 'the anthology' blurbs series

it was quite clear to you, the moment sydney became disinterested in your relationship.

she stopped flying out to london when she had free weekends and stopped asking when you could fly out to munich.

you kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

until you couldn’t.

despite your attempts at pulling your girlfriend closer, each time she drifted away, it was futile.

syd simply didn’t want to be with you anymore.

you thought she had known the commitments of a long distance relationship. the confidence in which she had asked you out after playing against your club in the second leg of the uwcl quarterfinals had mistakenly led you to believe that.

so you stopped trying to make her laugh and instead, started thinking about how much sad she thought you had in you.

on your first date, the midfielder had taken you to a cute little coffee place that you had never been to or even heard of, despite living in london for years, the day after arsenal knocks her team out of the european competition.

it didn’t matter that she had a flight to catch later in the day, she made time for you.

she was sweet and warm and ever so attentive to you.

it drew you in easily, she drew you in easily and it was entirely unsurprising that you quickly became smitten with her.

you learned that she loved her coffee and it became a point whenever she flew in to see you, that the both of you would find a new coffee place to try.

it led to the two of you discovering all the nooks and crannies of the english city.

small parks, quaint little side streets and endearing out of the way cafes, you and syd explored them all.

you flew out to munich to see her too. sat in the stands of the bayern campus to watch her play, experienced her cooking which she insisted upon and fell in love with her somewhere along the way.

she told you she loved you too, made you believe her words with intimate kisses and touches.

honestly, it was a tragedy how the end of your relationship came about.

it wasn’t anything like how they showed it in the movies you watched growing up. or in the television dramas sydney loved watching.

there was no big fight and storming out or someone cheating on the other.

it was just a slow and inevitable sinking of the ship. it simply was bleak. and agonising. and oh so devastating.

you took a blow to your heart, the day you realised that you couldn’t remember the last time the blonde had told you she loved you.

‘i love you.’

three basic words that had meant the world to you when she had promised them to you the first time.

you never thought there would be a last time hearing them from her lips. maybe that’s why you can’t remember when she said them last.

you didn’t know to memorise the moment because it had never crossed your mind that the moment would come.

that’s when you stopped CPR, after all it’s no use if sydney doesn’t want to love you anymore.

you fly to munich, to tell the german woman that you are done trying.

it ruins you when the blonde promptly accuses you of not loving her enough. that you are the one abandoning your relationship.

her voice is filled with quiet resentment and that is when your white knuckle, dying grip on the shreds of your once beautiful relationship relents.

for months, you have lived in fear of her walking out on your love affair. your friends have been telling you it wasn’t right to be scared every day of your relationship and now you see the truth in their words.

you’re helpless to save your relationship if she refuses to try on her part.

if sydney isn’t sure if she wants to be there, if she wants to be yours…then there is no way that you can force her to stay.

she swore that she love you but where were the clues? you died on the altar waiting for the proof.

so really, how much sad did she think you had in you?

because here you are, standing in your apartment with packed boxes all around.

you can’t stay in london.

not when every street and every corner reminds you of the walks you used to take with the bayern munich player, hand in hand. of the affection you used to hold for her. or the laughter you used to share.

you’re strong but you’re only so strong. you can only take so much and you aren’t sure if you can take the break up.

by the time you land in america, you’re just mad as hell.

because you loved that place. you loved london and you loved playing for the arsenal. you even loved the dreary weather.

but you had to give all that up because of sydney.

she’s spoilt london for you and you had to leave it and arsenal because of her.

you had to leave europe altogether, god forbid the two of you end up playing against each other in the champions’ league again.

the very competition that started your relationship in the first place is now a bitter memory.

north carolina is where you flee to.

it’s far enough from sydney. and munich. and london. where all your hopes and dreams once lived.

for so long, london. you had a good run.

sydney lohmann was a moment of warm sun but you’re not the one for her.

so long london. stiches undone. two graves, one gun. she’ll find someone.

it just won’t be you.

[myriadxofxmuses]

@lunarruled

"True that," she said quietly, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips.

Daryl always hated when she played matchmaker for him, but something about Ky felt right for him. And some habits died hard. Even now. Syd never stopped wanting her friend to find happiness. No matter how adamant he was that he didn't need it.

She said her goodbyes when it came time for them to part and headed off to find Rick. She found him making his rounds along the perimeter. "Hey! Rick!" she called out as she jogged up to him. He turned with the sound of her voice and waited, resuming his trek when she caught up to him.

"I'm glad you're back Syd. We all are," he told her genuinely.

"Yea, well, I don't know that I'm back back just yet," she deflected, crossing her arms over her chest. "But it is good to see everyone is still alive and kicking," she added truthfully with a soft smile.

Rick chuckled lightly. "How've you been?"

"Good. Survivng. You know the usual," she said with a small sigh, glancing his way. "I haven't been living as good as you though," she added looking around the community.

"It's always good before it's not," he mused mostly to himself.

Sydney nodded in silent, knowing agreement. "And do you think that's coming sooner rather than later here?" she asked outright.

He eyed her gently a moment as they walked, making up his mind on how to answer. With Negan breathing down their necks he wasn't sure how long Alexandria would truly last. It was like the Governor all over again and that had been the cause of their relocation.

"I don't know," he finally answered. "But we have a fighting chance if we can all manage to work together."

"Can we?"

"I think so," he told her with a slight nod of his head. "There's a few of theirs that still see us as outsiders, but they'll come around," he half fibbed.

Syd nodded again in silent understanding. "What about me and Ky? How do you think they see us?"

-------

It was almost dark by the time she got home after her chat with Rick and work. The lights were out and the entire place was quiet. She stood in the entry way and let the silence envelope her, letting it remind her of its sanctuary. She took a deep breath and made her way further into the house, only turning on the light once she'd made it to the kitchen. She started getting herself some food, grabbing one of the leftover pizza slices to snack on while she decided what to eat.

“You’re not wrong there,” she said with a slight raise of her brow. “From what Daryl said, it wasn’t until they all showed up that Deanna thought they had a chance,” she admitted with one last look outside, pity for them tugging at her.

She made her way across the room and motioned for Ky to follow once she was done getting ready. When the sun hit her it somehow felt better in the safety behind the walls. It seemed much less scorching and relentless.  The warmth almost returning to calming. 

“I’m gonna see what Rick thinks before I head to work,” she informed Ky as they walked. “If he feels the same, then we have more than just an inevitable fight with Negan on our hands. We’ll have to train them too,” she continued, worry softly drifting through her voice.

She waved and nodded at passerbys, still reeling from the normalcy of it all. Like they’d been sucked into some kind of wormhole spitting them out in an alternate universe. She supposed the same could be said for their reality as well, but this was different.  This could be easily taken away. The world outside was there for good.

“You planning on chatting with D tonight?” she asked, glancing her way. “Daryl,” she clarified with a shrug, knowing he would kill her if he knew she’d used the old nickname. 

Damn these people were lucky as hell for not having to be out there in the real world all this time! How they had kept this place as safe as it was for so long the half lycan had no idea, but if it took Daryl and the others showing up for them to really feel secure then it must have just been pure luck. Standing up since she was finished getting ready for the day, Kyleigh grabbed the other knife she always kept on her and followed Sydney out of their borrowed house.

Walking down the front steps onto a street that wasn’t littered with rotting cars or corpses was definitely a shock to Kyleigh, but at the same time it actually felt nice too. To look out and see living, breathing people going about their daily lives as if nothing had happened was refreshing but it wasn’t going to stop her from being as on guard as she would be if she was still outside of the walls. If anything this place made the lycan side of her more anxious, the walls reminding her a bit of the bars of a cage. With the restricted freedom they had as newcomers Kyleigh wasn’t so sure how long she was going to make it. Which reminded her, when was the next full moon and how was she going to sneak out to keep them all safe?

Sydney’s voice broke through that panic that was threatening to take her over, Kyleigh giving her a nod. The last thing she wanted to have to do was train people how to fight, but if it got her mind off of things then she figured it couldn’t be that bad. If she was going to go down she wasn’t going down with a bunch of scared strangers. “If that’s what it comes down to I would rather they know how to fight then just run. Who knows how much backup Negan might have, and the last thing we want to happen is to get caught with a knife at a gun fight you know?”

The people waving honestly gave her the creeps, Kyleigh not used to being around so many of them at once. She didn’t care if they thought she was mean or rude, they didn’t know her from a hole in the ground and she wanted to keep it that way. But the second she heard Daryl’s name, even the cute nickname Syd had for him, her mood lifted and her cheeks became warm.

“Oh.. uh yeah I might if he’s not busy or anything. Since he’s been here longer than us he probably can give me some inside intel on this place. You know, anything that can be useful if we do have to fight or make a quick escape.”

[blingywitch]

Good Feelings - Chapter II

Hey! Here’s chapter two! This fic is going to go in a bit of a weird direction for a while I think— starting in the next couple chapters— but I promise it’ll all align eventually! (Even if it doesn’t seem that way) See, the problem is... I’m having a little trouble figuring out how things will work with it—plot wise—hence why this took some time to get out. It’s out now and that’s all that matters :) But just note that if the chapters are taking longer to get out than usual it’s probably because I’m stuck and can’t write anything but they will get out... eventually. I promise <3

Umm... all I have left to say is Logan Tremblay is a sucker for pretty eyes... as am I.

Full Masterlist & Good Feelings Masterlist

Characters belong to the lovely, @lumosinlove

CW: mentions of food and drink

The sun was barely out when Logan woke up that morning. He could already tell it was going to be a nice day though, there was no clouds in sight and the only reminiscence of the rain that had passed through Gryffindor earlier in the week was the damp grass and small puddles that were scattered around the pavement. 

Logan liked the rain, it reminded him of home; And yes, rain was still as common in Gryffindor than it was in Quebec but it just wasn’t the same. No matter where he was in the world nothing would be the same as his home. He missed it.

Logan and his three sisters had moved down to Gryffindor about a month ago. They wanted to expand their families business—Tremblay’s— that had been solely in Rimouski, Quebec until now; and Gryffindor seemed like the perfect place to start. So they packed their bags, said goodbye to their parents—who were staying in Rimouski to mange things there— and they were off.

It was hard at first; Being in such an unfamiliar place. Being without anything that was normal to them. But the Tremblay siblings had each other and that was familiar. They worked together, getting used to the new things and eventually it got to a point where Gryffindor was starting to feel like home to them— a second home.

Moving in together helped. Again, it was comforting to have someone around 24/7 that they knew in a city that was filled with strangers. Logan and Noelle had bought a small apartment together while Audrey and Sydney got places of their own on the other side of town. Being the youngest siblings Noelle and Logan didn’t think they were quite ready to be on their own anyways.

And that’s how Logan got here; closing the door to his Uber and telling the driver where to go. Off to his first official day working at Tremblay’s. Aka opening day.

When the car exited the parking lot Logan’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He hauled it out to see who it was.

New message from: Noelle

Hey, are you almost here? Please tell me you’re almost here.

I just got into the Uber. What’s the rush?

Aubrey is flipping out; Running around the place and talking to herself. Saying something is going to go ‘terribly wrong’. She checked if the open sign was working 3 times already. Syd and I can’t handle this much longer. SOS.

Logan chuckled softly.

Tell Aubrey that it’s going to be fine and that nothing is going to go ‘terribly wrong’. I’ll be there soon.

And if you want me there so bad why didn’t you wake me up when you left this morning?!

I didn’t wake you up this morning because before you went to bed last night you were grumbling about not being awoken before 6 or you’ll be all moody.

I can’t deal with moody Logan in the morning. Especially not this one.

Ok that’s reasonable. See you soon!

Byee.

—

“Logan!” He heard his name being shouted at him by one of his sisters as he entered the coffee shop— Sydney, he realized it was when he looked up. “Vous êtes ici!” She exclaimed.

“Logan!?” He heard again, accompanied by a clash that sounded like a pan hitting the floor. The next moment Audrey appeared; looking slightly frantic.

“Oh thank gods.” Audrey breathed. “You’re here.”

“Finally.” Noelle said playfully; joining in from where she was straightening mugs on a shelf.

Her brother narrowed his eyes at her. Only for her to shoot Logan back a smile that said, you know you love me.

“D’accord d’accord,” Audrey interrupted her siblings moment. “Enough playing around. We have work to do.” She walked over to the back and grabbed a classic blue Tremblay’s apron off of the rack that was there. She tossed it at Logan, the fabric draping over his head, “Put this on. This place opens in twenty.”

Logan lifted the apron off his head, “Yes, captain. I’ll get right to work.”

Audrey ignored her brother’s attempt at trying to loosen the tense atmosphere that was looming over her and went back to what she was doing.

“Oh, and Audrey?!” Logan called after her.

Audrey turned around, raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Everything is going to be fine. Nothing crazy or terribly bad is going to happen; I promise.” Logan had a serious look in his eyes.

Audrey smiled softly at him. Logan sure as hell didn’t know how to deal with his emotions but he always knew how to comfort others; especially his sisters.

Walking over to turn on the record player Logan quietly repeated his words to himself so no one would hear, “Everything is going to be fine. Nothing crazy or terribly bad is going to happen; I promise.”

If only Logan knew.

—

Noelle was cleaning off one of the front counters when she heard them walk in; laughing and joking with each other. Holding hands and going to sit down at a table in the corner. She watched as the taller one pulled out a chair for the other and then start a small conversation.

They hadn’t Looked her way, so she was able to sneak away to the back without them noticing while the pair got settled and decided what they wanted. Plus, Logan said he wanted to serve people today.

So she picked up her wash cloth and made her way back into the kitchen where her siblings were. She looked at her brother, “Logan, a couple of people just walked in. You got it?”

“Y-yeah.” Logan almost looked nervous at learning the information. “Ouais.”

Noelle nodded. “Okay. Just give them a couple more minutes to get settled.”

Logan knew he was nervous about today. Would he ever admit that to his sisters? Fuck no. But he never would have guessed that when the time came for the actual work to happen he would be this nervous.

Noelle said there were people here. What if those people hated it here? What if they didn’t like any of the food? Or what if he messed up and got an order wrong? What if he trips over his own feet walking over to them and embarrasses himself— knowing himself though, and how clumsy he could be that is something Logan would do.

“Logan?” Sydney’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts that were quickly getting the best of him. “You okay?” She asked “You look a little sick there.”

Trying to regain himself, Logan took a deep breath and sat up straighter. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Okay.” She sounded unsure with his response but didn’t push it anymore. “Noelle said they should be ready now.”

“Right....” Logan nodded, bringing his hand up to take off his hat before he realized what he was doing and quickly brought it back down.

So, clearing his throat and patting his apron pocket to make sure he had his pen and note pad he set off to take their order. Exiting the kitchen, turning the corner, looking around and—

The odds really weren’t in his favour today were they?

His first thought was, pretty. His second, get it together Tremblay. But that was easier said then done when the two boys that were sat at the table looked like they did. He was still a good ten feet away from them but from what he could see Logan didn’t think he’d ever seen two boys they were so— pretty, as he described them. It was the only clear word in his head right now so it would have to do.

It was then Logan realized he was just standing there, staring at these pretty boys— thank gods they hadn’t noticed him yet— and he had a job to do. So, for what felt like the hundred time that day he took a deep breath and composed himself and mustering up all the courage he had, walked over.

As he got closer he noticed that the boys looked to be in deep conversation, pointing at the menu and nodding along with whatever the other said and Logan almost felt bad for having to break it up. He didn’t want to break it up. He had only laid eyes on the two for a maximum of thirty seconds but he felt content to watch them talk to each other for hours. Something about the way they communicated drew him in, the way they weren’t using many words—from what Logan could hear anyways— but seemed to know exactly what the person across from them meant. It took two people knowing each other well to be able to do that. Logan wanted to know these people well.

He had reached their table. Here goes nothing. “Bonjour, welcome to Tremblay’s,” he greeted. “I’m Logan. What can I get for you two?”

The boys looked up at his voice and Logan felt like he got punched in the stomach. If he thought they were pretty before then this was godly.

Eyes he thought. A deep shade of brown that looked like pools of melted chocolate. In the early morning sunlight Logan could see that they had lighter spots making chocolate and honey swirl into each other in a perfect circle around his pupils. Logan could stare forever. His Auburn hair that appeared as fire itself looked incredibly soft, with the sides shaved and the waves on top flopping to one side. It took Logan everything he had in him to keep his jaw off the floor.

He looked away from the redhead and met the others eyes. Mon dieu was Logan a sucker for eyes. Orbs of cornflower blue stared into his green. They looked curious, observing, almost like they held an expression of their own, like they were doing the thinking instead of his brain. Though Logan couldn’t guess what the boy was thinking if he tried. His face was Guarded; Not in a way that said he didn’t want you to know what he was thinking but in a way that said you just needed to earn it. And Logan couldn’t comprehend why he so badly wanted to. His hair curled around his ears and came down slightly over his forehead where a tuft of white could be seen amongst blonde curls. He was gorgeous. And just before Logan snapped out of his trance he saw the boy’s eyes roam over him; he really had trouble keeping his face straight at that.

The blonde suddenly cleared his throat. “Oh, um... sorry. Finn?”

The other boy— Who Logan now knew as Finn— looked at his friend. Those beautiful eyes of his going wide for a second before looking down at the table. “Right, uhh, I’ll have....”

Logan nodded along with their orders. It was nothing complicated— thankfully. He didn’t think he could handle complicated right now. “Alright, sounds good. I’ll be back with that, you guys sit tight.” He smiled politely at them and started making his way back to the kitchen. Careful not to match his pace with his rapidly beating heart.

As soon as he was out of sight from the boys and back in the kitchen he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and just sat there for a moment; leaning against the wall and calming himself down. Why today? His first day. At least give him a couple days before the really hot guy—or in this case, guys— walked into the coffee shop.

“You okay?” Noelle noticed him first and he was asked that question for the millionth time that day.

Logan opened his eyes and looked at his sister. “You could have told me they were hot!” he whispered yelled.

Noelle just laughed loudly, accompanied by chuckles from his other sisters. They knew that Logan was bisexual; There was an incident when he was in high school where Logan was crushing so hard on a boy that he had to tell somebody and he chose his sisters. It had been a good choice; Unsurprisingly, they were greatly accepting. Sydney even telling him she wasn’t exactly straight herself either. And maybe things didn’t work out between Logan and the boy but he now had amazing sisters that loved him no matter who he loved and that made him more than happy.

“Sorry,” Noelle managed to get out when her laughter died down. “It didn’t cross my mind if I’m being honest.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at her but left it alone. He turned to Sydney, “Syd, I need a breakfast sandwich, hold the tomato— Oh! and a croissant instead of a bagel please!”

“I’m on it, petit fère.” She smiled.

“Excuse me.” He said to Noelle, still playfully narrowing his eyes at her. “I have coffee to go make.”

Noelle smirked and moved out of the way, as Logan walked away she called after him, “I’ll put your number on their check later!”

Logan rolled his eyes, though he was trying to suppress a smile.

—

Deep breaths Logan. Deep breaths.

“Okay, so, we have the breakfast sandwich and the black coffee for you.” Who drinks black coffee? Ew. Logan thought, placing Finn’s order in front of him. “And just the medium two sugar two cream for you.” He handed the blonde his coffee. Did he ever want to know his name.

“Thanks.” He said, looking right into Logan’s eyes.

“No problem!” Logan managed to get out. But not before a pink tint washed over his cheeks.

Logan abruptly looked away. In a failed attempt to hide his blush he smiled politely at Finn and he got one in return, though the redhead looked a bit confused. And that was all Logan could stand before he turned around and walked away, not being able to resist bringing his hand up to remove his hat and run his fingers through his hair.

How was it still only 9 am? Logan didn’t know. But let’s just say he continued his work day with two beautiful faces never leaving his mind.

Auburn and brown, blonde and blue.

[blackmissfrizzle]

No One Has to Know- Part 3

Characters: Angel Reyes x black!reader

Summary: Angel confronts Bishop about his gift to you.

Warnings: Mentions of torture

A/N: Its finally here!

Like what you read, here’s more and if you really like it here’s my taglist

Part 2

Bishop could barely keep this secret anymore. Every time you would pop up at the club, he wanted to envelope you in his arms, but he had to settle for the little hugs you would give him time to time.

Then, he wanted to strangle every man hitting on you. One day when he was riding by, he saw Nestor flirting with you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He almost ran Nestor over that day. Calling on his primo, Marcus, he had him speak to Miguel, because he didn’t want any cartel member near his baby girl and in no way did his personal life need to mix with business.

And he almost killed Angel on multiple occasions as well. It’s obvious he could see the love Angel has for you, but the lust was just as clear and too much for Bishop to handle. The way his eyes would roam over your body, or how he would grab your ass when he walked past you, or when he came to the club in a good mood because you got him right that morning.

Everything would set Bishop off. Only Hank and Taza could calm him down and that was getting harder now. He could feel his resolve breaking down. He wanted your mom to tell you, but as each day passed it looked like it would be him.

-

While Bishop was struggling with keeping the truth from you, Angel was struggling with the idea that Bishop was trying to steal his girl.

It seems that every time Bishop was around you, he was up in your face. Checking on you a little too much, asking about you more than any other woman associated with the club, taking you on your first bike ride, teaching you how to dance, and in general just giving Angel shit.

Angel decided he wasn’t gonna take anymore when he caught something inside of your helmet. There was an inscription that said, ‘Para mi preciosa,’ (For my precious). He knew you haven’t seen it, because you would automatically ask him did he know about it. Taking your helmet, he got on his bike and headed for the scrap yard.

On a mission, Angel didn’t even respond to Chucky when he greeted him. He just brushed past the man and searched for his target. He found Bishop at a table with Riz, Tranq, and Creeper playing cards.

“Hey Bis, can I speak with you?”

Bishop look up at Angel and could tell he was irritated. “After this hand.” He told him, not wanting to deal with whatever drama Angel was caught up in.

“I was hoping it could be now. It’s kinda serious.”

Bishop slammed down his cards. “Is it kinda serious or is it serious?”

“Serious. It’s about Y/N.” The flash of worry that crossed Bishop’s face confirmed his suspicions that something was going on.

The two of them went to sit at the bar. “What’s going on Angel?”

He couldn’t find the words, so he threw your helmet in Bishop’s direction. “What the hell is this? ‘Para mi preciosa?’ You trying to make a move on my girl?”

Bishop didn’t mean for Angel to find that. Well, not now at least. He thought the secret would be out by now. “No one’s trying to take your girl, Angel.” Bishop left it at that and tried to walk away.

“Then explain the inscription.” Angel stopped his retreat.

“It’s none of your fucking business.” Now they attracted everyone’s attention. They were standing toe to toe in the middle of the room.

“No fuck that! You’ve been giving her too much attention for too fucking long! You need to step off!”

Bishop knew Angel was just protecting his, but he couldn’t tolerate the disrespect. “Or what?”

That did it. Angel threw the first swing and Bishop tackled him. They were so busy fighting that they didn’t notice you yelling at them.

You were about to pull Bishop off Angel, but what he said stopped you in your tracks.

“She’s my fucking kid! Y/N’s my daughter!”

“What?” As quiet as you were, Angel and Bishop heard you. They clambered over each other trying to get to you.

“Mija, follow me.” He guided you to the famed Templo. Angel tried to follow, but Hank stopped him. “Let them work it out first.”

“I thought only Mayans were only allowed in here.” You ran your fingers against the carved table.

“Exceptions can be made for Mayan royalty.”

You raised your eyebrow at him. You always wanted to be an honorary member, but princess could work too. “Be careful. Give me an inch and I’ll be your first patched female member. Kutte and all.”

“I don’t doubt that. Come sit, mija.” He patted the seat next to him.

Bishop practiced this speech multiple times, but now the words were stuck in his throat.

All the times you’ve been around Bishop, you’ve never seen him so unwillingly quiet. You took mercy on him and squeezed his hand. “You’re him, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“You’re the guy my mom always used to warn me about. She used to tell me about the guy who almost ruined her life as a cautionary tale.”

Bishop lit his cigarette and took a drag. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, but I always thought she was a coward.” Bishop furrowed his brows at your confession. “Why is that?”

“Because whenever she would talk about you, no matter how much venom and disdain she had in her voice there was a twinkle in her eye. Her love for you would shine through. Although not as bright as it did in the past, I suspect. I’m pretty sure you being from the wrong side of the tracks caused her to drop you thus cowardice. Her need for people’s approval cost her you and our relationship.” As you went on Bishop could see you get riled up even more reminding him of his own temper. To get you to calm down, Bishop wrapped you in his arms.

This hugs weren’t like hugs in the past. This hug was full of love and longing. This hug had a tinge of grief for the lost time between father and daughter.

You pulled back some when you felt some of Bishop’s tears on your face. “Are you crying?”

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.”

“How long have you known?” You asked wiping away his tears. “I suppose for a while, but I confirmed it a little before your graduation party.”

You remember seeing Bishop talk to your mom the night of the party. She always hated him, but that night you saw a flash of fear in her eyes when she was talking to him. Guess the cat was out of the bag.

While you and Bishop were having your reunion, everyone else was making fun of Angel freaking out. “Dating the president’s daughter, who would’ve thought?” Gilly nudged him on the way to the pool table.

“That’s the least of his worries. Bishop and Alvarez are more like brothers than cousins. So, he’s dating el presidente’s daughter and el padrino’s niece. One fuck up and…pow!” Coco made his fingers into a gun and pointed it at Angel.

“Shut the fuck up, you two.” EZ brought everyone a beer. “Thank you, lil bro.” At least Angel had one person on his side. “They won’t shoot him first. It’ll definitely be torture first.”

Angel tried to swing at his brother, but EZ ducked and tackled him. They ended up wrestling with each other. Neither one grabbing the upper hand.

The brothers were in a jumble of limbs on the ground when you and Bishop finally left Templo. “You sure you wanna be with that idiot?” The president pointed at Angel on the floor in a headlock. “Get these steroid arms off of me, Ezekiel! You’re like some sick creation of Syd from Toy Story!”

“Yeah, I’m sure. He’s my idiot.” Even in a headlock Angel was adorable.

Eventually, the Reyes brothers sensed yours and Bishop’s presence and stopped their wrestling. Angel stood still as Bishop walked up to him. “If you ever hurt her, I’m gonna cut you into pieces, bury you in a fucking hole and piss in it.”

“Told you, torture.” EZ boasted to Coco and Gilly.

“Shut up, Prospect.” Angel and Bishop ordered him at the same time.

There was more talk about how Bishop would torture and desecrate Angel’s body if he ever hurt you. Being the daughter of a biker president sounded violent but oddly comforting.

“And definitely no sex at the clubhouse. Keep that shit at home and away from me.”

Forgetting where you were at the moment, you blurted out,  “So that Templo thing is a no go?”

“What Templo thing, Angel?” Bishop questioned, ready to fuck Angel up again.

Angel’s eyes widened at you and you gave him a sheepish shrug, apologizing for your blabber mouth. “Nothing, Bis.”

“Keep it that way.” Bishop poked Angel in the chest.

Your phone started ringing and the name on the screen put you in a trance. Finding out that Bishop is your biological father is great, but it’s a whole lifetime too late. And of course, you loved the man who raised you, but you also missed out on a lot with Bishop and that was because of one person.

The phone finally stopped ringing and you went straight to your car. “Querida?” Angel called out to you, but you ignored him.

“Follow her, pendejo!” Bishop pushed Angel while grabbing his own keys.

“Where is she going?” Angel ran out the door and to his bike. “To the person who just lied to her for her whole life,” Bishop snapped on his helmet and revved up his bike. “Her mother.”

Tagging: @angrythingstarlight @imanerdychubbyqueen @starrynite7114 @lilsmilez @marvelmaree @thickemadame @chaneajoyyy @woahitslucyylu @angelreyesgirl @sadeyesgf​ @blessedboo​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @my-rosegold-soul​ @richonne4life​ @brattyfics​ @lovebennycolon​ @langiinspirations​ @chibsytelford​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @fvckthisbxtchup​ @theartisticqueen​

[alwayschoppedtaco]

movies & boys ll c.e.

pairing: chris evans x wife!reader

summary: Chris isn’t quite ready for his little girl to grow up. 

warning: just chris being upset

word count: 1.0k

the evans children: Paige - 15 Grant - 13 Maddie - 10 Drew - 8 Katlynn - 6  Finn - 3 Charlotte - 1

masterlist

Chris prided himself in his children. He could see little aspects of himself in each of them. In Paige it was her eyes, in Grant it was his hair, in Maddie it was her sense of humor, he could go on and on about each one of his kids.

They were everything to him.

You had met him when you were both young, you being only twenty one and him at age twenty six. Four years after you had met, he had proposed to you. You had gotten married not long after and settled down to start your own family.

Even with his busy schedule, Chris always made time for his family. He never missed a birthday or a dance recital or a soccer tournament.

What he was hoping to miss, though, was happening right now. Your oldest daughter, Paige, who had just turned fifteen, had been openly talking to you for advice on a boy in her class she liked.

She spent most of her nights texting him and would constantly be smiling at her phone while you all were watching a movie together. Or her phone would ding at the dinner table, and she would blush at whatever it said.

Although you were prepared for this, as you new it would happen sooner or later, Chris was not quite as ready.

Paige was the first born, she was her dads little princess, and now matter how old she got noting would ever change that.

Now it was Saturday night, and all nine of you were around the dinner table, eating a home cooked meal and trying to not have any tantrums from your youngest.

Grant was hunched over his food, only answering your questions on his day with one word answers. Maddie was sitting to the left of Grant, talking continuously with him, even though he would only say a word and then shovel more food into his mouth. Drew sat with his toy cars, racing them through his mashed potatoes. Katlynn sat to the side of Chris, talking with him about what new words she had learned at school the week prior. Finn sat to your left making his broccoli stick up straight so that they looked like mini trees. And little Charlotte sat in her high chair to your right dozing off in her mashed peas.

Finally there was your oldest, she had her light brown hair pulled out of her face as she sat, playing around with her food and looking from her phone to her dad and then you anxiously.

“Sweetie, is everything ok?” You question, noticing her strange behavior.  

“Oh, um, now that you ask, I have something to ask you about.” She started glancing at Chris, who looked up at her. “Well, this boy at school, his names Nate, and he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies sometime with him, so um, can I?”

You smiled, as this was the Nate you had heard so much about.

Chris on the other hand, looked back down at his plate, clenching his jaw and not saying anything as he stared at his food  

You spoke first, breaking the silence.

“I am sure that is fine, as long as you are with a group, right Chris?”

”Uh yeah, group.” He mumbled looking around the table at his kids.

”Oh, of course. Zoe will be there and so will Syd, and Jack so you have nothing to worry about.” She said, mostly to reassure Chris that his baby girl was going to be okay, although this seemed to do little to reassure the man you loved.

“Well, then sweetie I see no problem with you going out with your friends.” You grant her permission to go out with her friends.

Chris looked over at you and then picked Charlotte up from her high chair and mumbled something about getting her cleaned up and ready for bed.

You watched him leave, slightly worried at how he reacted to your daughter’s news.

~

Half an hour later you had all the young ones tucked into bed, and all the big kids knew they only had and hour left of TV, so they were fighting over what to watch. Once you new that they were all settled in, you made your way to the master bedroom that you and Chris shared.

You found him in there, lying on the bed, face in his pillow. He looked absolutely defeated.

“Chris, babe are you okay?” You ask.

”Honestly, Y/N, no I’m not. Paige is going on her first date with a boy. A boy. She’s still my baby girl.” Chris rants to you as you say there, gently rubbing his back for comfort.

“Chris you know she will always be your baby girl, but she was going to have to grow up eventually.” You mutter softly, trying to comfort your husband.

“I know, I just thought I had more time,Y/N.”

“I know you did, but hey you still have six more kids, and I wouldn’t worry to much about Katlynn cause she still thinks that you are the only boy who doesn’t have cooties.” You explain to your husband, loving how he cracks a small smile.

“You know I love you right?” He questions.

”And I love you.” You say, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “Now I have to go get the rest of the kids off to bed.” You day as you stand up, kissing Chris one more time before going to get your kids to bed.

~

The next week leading up to your daughters date Chris seemed to try and do anything to distract him from his baby girl growing up. He would pass the football with Grant, or play dress up with Maddie.

The Friday after Paige had asked, the doorbell went off, making Paige and Grant race to the door.

Grant opens the door as wide as possible, seeing the tall, brunette boy in front of them.

“Hello, I’m Grant. Paige’s cooler, younger, much better looking brother.” Grant announced loudly.

”Get out of here, dork.” Paige said, elbowing her brother out of her way and standing in front of Nate.

Maddie came running in next, in her tutu and tiara, Chris following close behind her.

Upon noticing the boy at the door, Chris straightened up his posture and observed the boy. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt, and his hair was combed out of his face.

You came in with Charlotte on your hip. You walk over to your oldest child, smiling at her date for the night.

“You must be Nate, it’s nice to meet you.” You say, smiling at the boy. “Grant could you take Maddie to get ready for dance, please?”

“Ugh, I guess.” Grant groaned taking Maddie’s tiara of her head and taking her dance shoes from the rack by the door.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Evans.” The boy offers Chris his hand, your husband looking at it for a beat, before taking it.

“Well, then dad, mom, we will be back by ten.” Paige says as she steps out the door and closer to Nate.

“Of course, sweetie, have fun and be safe.” You say as the pair walk towards Paige’s friend Zoe’s moms mini van.

Chris just glared at the place where Nate has been standing, until you pulled him up the stairs to watch Drew while you took Maddie to her dance practice.

When you got back from Maddie’s practice, it was already eight, and you made your way up stairs to put her to sleep. After making sure that she was asleep, and that Grant was okay downstairs playing his video games.

After doing that, you made your way to the living room, finding Chris perched on the coach, watching the news.

“Hey, babe.” You say, sitting down beside him. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just, it’s her first real date. She’s really growing up.” He says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the side of your head.

“Yes, but you know she will always be your baby girl.”

“I know.” With that you both settled in to watch the tv together.

~

At ten o’clock, Paige came strolling into the house, a huge smile on her face.

“So I take it the date went well?” You ask, smiling at you daughter.

“Oh yeah, we saw a horror film and guess what! He put his arm around me and we shared popcorn!” She exclaimed, sitting down beside you.

“That’s great sweetheart.” Chris says, smiling at his daughter. No matter how much he didn’t like the fact that she was growing up, Chris would do anything to see his daughter smile the way she was smiling now.

For the next couple of hours, the three of you talked about everything that happened, and you were happy to see that Chris didn’t mind that his daughter was growing up, as long as she was happy.

~~~

I don’t really like how I wrote this but oh well.

[cycat4077]

When the Time is Right

Summary: Is it time to take your relationship to the next level?  Set at the start of S18 - roughly August 2016. Pairing: Sonny x Reader Warnings: Mature themes...of the NSFW variety, some cussing, fluff, feels, etc. Words: 1927 AO3 here

Technically part 12 in the Changes verse, but can act as a stand-alone.

Consider this a Valentine’s day themed thingy even though it’s set in August 🥰

"It's weird I guess," you say in between sips of tea, "how some parts of our relationship have happened so quickly, like meeting his parents right away, while other parts of it aren't rushed at all. For instance, the two of us were complete idiots and it took a couple of months to formally say ‘I love you’." The admission makes you chuckle, but as you look up from your drink, the devious grin pasted across your friend’s face tells you that she’s hung up on one small detail.

"You guys haven't done it yet, have you?" blurts Sydney, sitting wide-eyed across from you on her sofa.

You're normally a pretty private person so you can't help it when your cheeks start to burn, effectively giving away your secret.

"You haven't!" she exclaims, eagerly setting down her teacup, ready for details.

"Syd!"

The blonde raises her arms in mock defense. "Hey, hey! There's nothing wrong with it but it's kind of a rarity to not be in each other's pants by now!"

You grow even more self-conscious, tracing the rim of your mug handle as a distraction.

"Listen,” Sydney begins sternly, “he's super nice to you and charming and sweet, so I just wanna make sure he's not -"

But you interrupt her before she can make the accusation. "Sonny isn't like that," you state, adopting a firm tone of your own. "We just haven't gotten there yet...there's been no rush. I feel totally comfortable around Sonny and he's never once made me feel like we should be doing anything."

"Good," she asserts. "I just want to make sure you're not being played because the good ones are really hard to find."

Ever since you met in college, Sydney has been fiercely protective of you, and clearly that side of her is something that's never changed. Despite her thirst for details, you also know that you can truly trust her so you suppose there's no harm in opening up a little. "I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it,” you confess sheepishly. “I went on the pill not long after we started dating because you never know, but our lives have been so busy and messy. Especially this summer. We've had our ups and downs - some beyond our control and some were issues that we've worked out together. I really feel like we've come out of it stronger and the more we experience together, the more I’m certain that Sonny is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Sydney cracks a goofy smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Corny. I know," you wave dismissively, "but I can't help loving him more and more each day. Our relationship is so special to me and personally, sex is one of the most intimate things a couple can do. It's about love. So, waiting for the right time isn't a big deal. If anything, it will just bring us that much closer."

"Girl, you're crazy lucky!” chimes Sydney, affectionately. "And there's nothing wrong with waiting to bang. You remember me from back in the day and how I had my fair share of ‘promiscuous encounters’. Actually, with Geoff..." Sydney's eyes narrow as she recollects her ex, "fuck, do I wish we had waited! He said all the right things and made all the right gestures. Our relationship moved so fast! We hit the milestones at a hundred miles per hour…and I believed it! But then the cheating started. When I found out - and I still feel this way sometimes - when I think about having slept with him, I feel so dirty and cheap." She ducks her head and you can tell that the wound still smarts.

"You can't blame yourself for his behavior!" you rationalize, wishing your friend wouldn't be so hard on herself.

"I know! And I don't, but it's that shame and embarrassment of knowing I was so foolish to believe there was love there. Even the thought of having given myself over to him in that way makes me wanna upchuck. Hell, those one-night stands where the guy dips out as soon as he finishes don't feel as cheap or degrading. So, hon, there's nothing wrong with the pace you're moving at. Believe me. Maybe if I had waited longer with Geoff, his true colours would have shone through earlier..."

"It's in the past, Syd," you reason, "and you know what is special about that? It goes to show you how much you can trust and love someone. And even though Geoff was a total asshole, there's gonna be a guy out there for you someday who will be worthy of all that."

Sydney smiles despite herself. "You're a total sap, you know that, right?" You grin at her and nod proudly. "But I love ya for it." She then leans across the sofa and gives you a grateful hug. Parting, Sydney continues. "You'll know when the time is right," she reassures you. "You may talk about it or it may just happen, but you and Sonny are the mushiest, most in-love couple I've ever seen, so I know you'll be just fine."

-x-

Nights in with Sonny are the best. Lately you both had been so busy. Sonny was working overtime on top of double shifts, while you were occupied with perfecting your new course curriculum before the semester started.

When the two of you were finally able to have an evening off, you'd find something to eat and just lounge on the couch; maybe pop in a movie and sit snuggled up together. You didn't need to be doing anything in particular to enjoy each other's company.

Sometimes though, those cozy moments strayed towards other forms of physical affection. To put it in simple terms: you’d make out…And tonight happened to be no different.

"This movie's dumb," grumbles Sonny, leaning his head on the back of the sofa.

"Yep," you agree, staring blankly at the tv screen.

Sonny then turns his face towards you, offering a cheeky grin. "At least tha company's good."

You flop yours in his direction. "I suppoooose so," you tease with a roll of your eyes.

Sonny pouts and you laugh at how ridiculous he looks. When his put-on expression doesn't crack, you decide it's time to steer the evening towards a more preferable form of entertainment. "Y'know, if you don't stop making that face, I'm gonna have to wipe it off you myself." There's a deliberate hint of suggestion in your voice and you bite your lip to make your intentions crystal clear.

With a gleam in his eye, Sonny playfully deepens the curl of his frown which obviously leaves you with no choice but to reach out, nab his jaw and pull him to your lips. His arm encircles you and his hand presses against your back to coax you near. The quick peck blossoms into several more deep and passionate kisses; the two of you barely able to spare a breath in between.

As things continue to heat up you climb over and straddle Sonny’s lap. To your delight, this move elicits an 'Mmm!' of pleasant surprise from the Italian detective’s throat. Your hair falls over your shoulder as you peer down into his swirling blue eyes. "Hi," you grin quietly.

Sonny stares up at you in wonder. His hands fix themselves to the small of your waist. "Hey," he returns softly as the corners of his mouth cradle a gentle smile.

You hold his gaze a moment longer, soaking in the view. You're still in awe that the man before you is all yours, but as you lean down to capture his lips, you're reassured of your reality. Sonny mirrors your every move, matching your passion. The kisses grow even more heated. Your fingertips work at his silver temples while Sonny's hands burn up your skin where they've snuck themselves beneath your shirt. A gentle but firm squeeze is all it takes for your hips to involuntarily grind down against his.

Suddenly, Sonny raises your bum off of his lap. "What's wrong?" you ask with worry.

He shuts his eyes reluctantly before opening them to you, brow furrowed and expression vulnerable. "It's just...well, if we keep this up..." He winces and his cheeks turn pink.

You shift your knees on the sofa to steady yourself and raise your own eyebrows in understanding. "Oh," you say, growing quiet and nervous. The two of you never did get around to a discussion on taking things further, which left you to wonder where Sonny stood on the matter.

Ever the gentleman, he delicately tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, "I just don't know if we're ready for...this."

"Babe," you sit back on his thighs, rubbing your palms soothingly along his shoulders. "Do you want to wait? I know your beliefs are a little firmer than mine."

"Nuh-no! It's not that!" he exclaims. "I just don't wanna move too fast for you!" Sonny too, turns timid as he speaks.

You can't help but smile down at him. What had you done to deserve such a sweetheart? You recall the conversation with Sydney from a couple weeks ago. She was right.

"I believe in love," you breathe, running your thumb tenderly along his cheek, "and I love you more than anything."

"I love you too, doll," echoes Sonny, the confidence returning to his voice.

You kiss him again. It's long and lingering, reigniting the flame between you. Sonny draws you to his chest and you link your arms behind his neck. "I want this, if you do," you speak in a soft voice.

"I want this too. I want you...so much." The reply is almost a whisper, his lips mere inches from your own.

Emboldened, you withdraw and stand up, your skin tingling where his fingers brush along your waist. Never breaking eye contact, you reach out your hand. Sonny accepts and you lead him to the bedroom.

-x-

The next morning you awake to orange licks of early sunlight flickering through the blinds. Sonny's arm surrounds you, clutching you to his bare chest. His heavy breathing sounds beside your ear and you think it impossible for life to be any more perfect. You snuggle your naked form closer into his, wishing to stay in his warm embrace forever.

Then Sonny begins to stir. "Mornin' beautiful," he says, Staten Island accent heavy with sleep.

"Morning," you turn over in his arms to place a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

He releases you, propping his head up on an elbow. "Last night was..."

"Wow," you finish with a flirtatious grin.

Sonny sighs dreamily, "yeah." He then takes a finger and beings tracing light circles over your exposed shoulder. "Kinda wish we'd done that sooner." His tone is husky but his eyes are filled with affection.

"We've got our whole lives ahead of us, Sonny," you offer before delicately sweeping a piece of his hair away from his forehead.

You watch his blue eyes soften and crinkle at the corners. Dimples form from his smile. But instead of answering, he simply leans forward and kisses you.

Last night wasn't just physical; you found a whole new connection with Sonny. One deeply rooted in attraction but brought to life and nurtured by love. It was like you were completely in synch, giving and taking from one another wholly and completely. And, as you once again melt into his kiss, you know that everything had worked out just as it was meant to be.

---

Part 13 here!

A/N: I really love this fic. I've had it in my drafts for a long time and I really wanted to find the perfect place to add it into the series. I'm no expert but it kind of ticks me off how the media portrays physical relationships to be the holy grail...like it's a make or break type thing or that people need to be physical to fall in love. So, I tend to gravitate towards character-couples who do the opposite...and to me, Sonny seems like the type who values an emotional connection over a purely physical one. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed reading this fic! The last paragraph is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written!