#And my shepard looks chinese and I just love that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

probably-not-a-rocketscientist · 4 years ago

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calculated love and complicated confessions

summary: your time on cloverfield station has lead you to two conclusions: love is complicated and not everyone is who they seem

warnings: mutual pining, slight angst with a happy ending, mention of harm to others, one (1) german phrase that i'm pretty sure i butchered

a/n: did i write this all week when i should have been studying for my finals? yes. also, i saw this movie three years ago in chinese so i might have gotten some details wrong. english is not my first language so constructive criticism is encouraged. enjoy!

——

As an engineer, you knew the importance of trial and error. However, you did not expect for it to keep you in space for nearly three year with seven other scientist. You all found a sense of family with each other, but you couldn't help the need of being on earth grow every day.

One crew member you payed particularly close attention to was Ernst Schmidt. You noticed the little things about him; like how he would comb his fingers through his hair when it fell to his face because he insisted on keeping it long, or when he would curse in his native tongue when he got frustrated with his work.

After a while, the whole station seemed to have caught on to your fondness for Schmidt, except the physicist himself. He was oblivious to the constant teasing by the other crewmates, thinking it was only because of how close you two were as friends.

However, he wasn't the only clueless person on the station. You had failed to notice all the advances that Schmidt had made — like his hands lingering on to yours for a second more when they touched, or always insisting on being paired with you when you all were sent to do assignments throughout the deck. He found your presence to be intoxicating, but didn't push too far in fear that you didn't feel the same way.

—

The day before another test, you stayed in the dining room all night reviewing your calculations. You were almost positive that they were correct, but it would kill you if you were the one responsible for the accelerator being unsuccessful.

You were so focused on your work that you didn't notice how quiet the station was. You checked your wristwatch and it was well over midnight. Sleep wasn't a priority for you right now, but you knew you needed to be well rested for the test in a couple of hours.

Right as you were about to get up, Schmidt entered the room. His hair was messy and he was in sweatpants and a t-shirt. A pair of wire-framed glasses sat on his face, something he only wore when he forgot to put in his contacts — or in this case, retrieving an item from the kitchen at this ungodly hour. You forced yourself to look away, worried that you were starring at him for too long.

"Why are you still working? It's very late," he comments as he opens the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water.

"I'm just nervous about tomorrow. We don't have a lot of firings left and I want to get this right," you responded.

"You've been working non-stop for the past month, I'm certain you will do just fine," he reassured with a smile. "And if not, I will take over your post."

"The last time I checked, I had one more PhD than you."

"I'll catch up eventually, you know."

He was fidgeting with his water bottle, unsure how to prolong this conversation. "Let me walk you back to your quarters, you need the sleep."

Without hesitation, you rose from your chair and began walking beside him. Walking through the halls of the station at night usually made you uneasy, but Schmidt's presence made it slightly more comfortable. The heavy clanking of your steel-toed work boots contrasted the light thumps of his sneakers.

After a few more paces, you arrived at your room. You punched in your passcode and the door slid open.

"Well, this is my stop. Thanks for making sure I got back safely," you joked.

"Of course," he responded.

You could tell that he was also tired so you didn't want to hold him for too long. "Goodnight Schmidt," you bid.

"Goodnight liebling," he responded. He began walking back to his own room before you could process what he said.

"What does that mean?" you questioned.

"You'll understand soon enough," he answered without looking back.

Even though you were confused by his response, you closed your door and locked it. Exhausted, you fell onto your mattress without taking your boots or jumpsuit off. Within a few seconds you felt your eyelids getting heavy and slipped into your sleep.

—

The control room was silent, worried that any movement or noise would cause the dial to turn in the unfavorable direction. The particle accelerator was fired less than a minute ago and the dial was slightly moving in between the red and green zones. This was first time the machine had been able to turn on and to have it successfully work would be nothing short of a miracle.

All of you held your breath as the dial began to turn again, this time in the green. Suddenly, it lowered significantly towards the safety levels.

It worked.

Cheers and laughter filled the room as you all celebrated the victory. After years of failures and dead-ends, the feeling of achievement was exhilarating.

—

You were thrown into chaos when you got back to earth. After the return shuttle landed in the Atlantic, a helicopter took you all back to mission control in London. Everyday consisted of either physical test to make sure the artificial gravity didn't have any negative effects on your body, or press conferences about how the eight of you solved the energy crisis. You couldn't turn on the news without some mention of the Shepard, but you were just glad to be home.

By the end of the month, you and the rest of the crew were burned out, both mentally and physically. You, Tam, Hamilton, and Mundy decided to stay in London and lead a team at mission control to monitor the Shepard's status. Kiel, Acosta, and Volkov were to return to their families and respective countries tomorrow. You hadn't heard much from Schmidt, but you assumed that he would return to his life in Germany. Since today was the last day all of you be together for a while, Hamilton decided to take you all to a pub downtown.

You watched the others play, or at least attempt to play, billiards closely from the bar. Your feet were aching so you decided to sit down but you were still actively encouraging them. After a couple rounds, Schmidt walked over towards you.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked politely.

"It's all yours," you gestured. He pulled out the stool and sat with his back facing the tabletop. You notice his outfit, a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of dark trousers. It was a change from his usual jumpsuit uniform and a polo shirt with jeans.

The two of you sat in silence for a while, letting the soft conversations of the pub fill the empty space between you. It was almost a bittersweet moment; one of the last moments you would spend together.

Almost as if he read your mind, he answered your thought. "I'm not going back to Germany," he said.

A sigh of relief rang through your head, but you still couldn't help but be curious about his decision. "Why not? You probably have hundreds of women lining up to be with the 'German man that saved the world'," you joked.

He was unresponsive to your comment as he gathered his thoughts. His demeaner changed and he shifted in his seat so that now he was facing you. "Can I make a confession?" he asked.

"Of course, Schmidt," you replied. Now you were worried that something was wrong. He wasn't one for serious conversations so you knew this was important.

"As you may know, my country has been trying to start a war with Russia for nearly a decade. When the Shepard was built, the government sent me as a spy to prevent it from working. I was suppose to send logs of my progress back to them, but I never did. The day before we activated the device, I received a transmission ordering me crash the station into the ocean with all crew member on board. If I go back to Germany, they will have me arrested for treason."

You were shocked by his words and couldn't think of anything to say. You knew that Schmidt would never betray the crew, and apparently the cost of that was being exiled from his own country.

He was now looking down on the floor, worried that he would see disappointment in your eyes if he looked up. "Can you please say something?" he pleaded.

"Why didn't you do it? You knew this was the result, yet you still made the sacrifice? Why?" you asked. You brought your hand to cup his face, tilting his gaze so he was now looking down at you. Your thumb ran over his cheek as an attempt to comfort him.

"I did it for you. And I would do it all again if it meant I could see your smile, even for just one more minute. I understand if you want nothing to do with me after today, but you deserve to know the truth."

It wasn't until now that you realized how close in proximity you were to him. You could smell the cologne he was wearing; citrus with a hint of firewood. Flammable items like fragrance and hairspray weren't allowed on the station, but you could still identify the scent as his own.

"I guess it's my turn to make a confession, right? To even things out," you half-whispered. You continued to move closer to him slowly, seeing if he showed any sign of resistance. His eyes were now fixed on your lips, and yours to his. Deciding to take the final step, you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down.

The kiss was slow but filled with passion, the result of bottled up feelings for the past three year. He tasted like cigarettes and tap beer, exactly how you imagined him. His hands traveled down to your waist and attempted to pull you in as close as he could from the awkward position you both were in. A small moan escapes your lips from the contact, a sound that he found to be his favorite.

You pull away moments later to catch a breath of air. His quick breathing was in sync with yours and you let out a slight laugh of relief.

The intimate moment was interrupted by cheering and whistling coming from the billiards table. It was a mix of 'finally's and 'about time's. Your crewmates had a habit of embarrassing you and apparently it applied to public spaces as well. You put your head on Schmidt's shoulder to try to shield yourself from them.

"Should we go over there and say something?" you asked. The lighting in the pub wasn't great, but you could've swore you saw Mundy hand Tam £20.

"In a minute. I want to savour this moment for as long as possible."

#the cloverfield paradox #ernst schmidt #ernst schmidt x reader #schmidt x reader #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl x reader

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jacquelinesung · 4 years ago

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Hello 2021

Hello tumblr, it’s been a very long time since I’ve typed any type of thought on here. I decided to go through my old post starting from the beginning of this account in 2009. Let’s just say I use to type a lot of posts, consistently, like a lot. Reading some of it brought a lot of nostalgia back from those moments, making me laugh and realize how melodramatic everything was. It also made see that I constantly fought for myself despite feeling low at times but I always felt better. I just turned 30 earlier this month and looking back on something I wrote 10+ years ago is really interesting to say the least. It has brought a smile to my face like I was proud of my non existent child lol. I guess that would explain why I’m decent when typing papers, ha. I suppose I should update my life a little lol why not? I’m currently living my bf of 4 years, I have no job because I’m a full time university student, I graduate this fall, I’m obessed with a chinese actor named Song Weilong lol, covid is still a bitch so celebrating my 30th bday was a bit of a bummer because I couldn’t celebrate it like I originally planned to, Otis is turning 4 this year (crazy), my father passed away last year during the summer so that’s been an headache on it’s own...umm yeah. My dad passing away has been something weird and surreal, because he was always away for work I still feel like he’s a phone call away. Unfortunately, reality sets in and I knows he’s gone, that he’s no longer a phone call away, that he won’t bring me lottery tickets as my bday present, that he won’t send me weird selfies, I won’t hear his spanish dad jokes anymore, he won’t take me out to eat just to have our talks, that I can’t depend on him anymore, I can’t ask for his help because he’s gone. It’s hard to take in, everytime I see a similar white work van he had, I imagine it’s him just working because that’s all he ever did was work. I miss dad, I do. Thank you for at least helping when you could and when you hugged me so hard and never let me go, I truly felt your love, love you dad and I miss you. As you might of guess future Jackie, I was crying while typing that lol anyways that’s pretty much everything right now, um, I tried luring a German Shepard stray, didn’t work out though because Chopper scared him off making him jump the fence, like wow. Anyways life is okay right now, I’m very blessed to have the people in my life, they make the difference and mean everything. I guess I should update on random things, currently my fav song is God’s Menu by Stray Kids and Blue Hour by TXT, with a touch of Love Talk by WayV lol I just finished watching Queens Gambit and Find Yourself (40 episodes my gawd), fav movie is knives out (very good movie!), I saw WW84 and it was bad, and I love DC but I don’t know what happened, it was just so bad compared to the first one. Oh I also decided to expand my photography, so I got business cards, a fb page, and IG page going, so far it’s been extremely slow but that’s okay, slow and steady right? It gives me time to work out the kinks and practice as well. Aside from that, I really can’t think of anything else, just gotta focus on school which is what I should be doing instead of typing yay. Anyways until next time? lol bye and be well~

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sarah-wants-to-write · 4 years ago

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Searching My Dreams for a Lifetime; Chapter Two (Criminal Minds)

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” -Abraham Lincoln

◊

“She did WHAT?” Rossi asked, surprise written all over his face.

“Wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it myself,” Derek replied, folding his arms over his chest “just popped it right back in place like it was nothing.”

“Well it makes sense,” Reid declared, turning to see Shira talking to one of the detectives “people with EDS have problems keeping their joints in place all the time. Makes sense she’d know how to put them back where they need to be without medical help.”

“What was weirder was how much Hotch knew of her condition,” Emily added, voice quiet “rare enough that it doesn’t seem like something he’d need to know off-hand.”

“Maybe researching genetic conditions when Hayley was pregnant,” Rossi mused “and it stuck.”

“Well, no matter how you look at it, Hotch definitely gained her respect with showing he knew about it,” Derek said “starting to look more like you might be right, Rossi.”

Shira was tucked into her own corner of the conference room, where the team was set up to work. Sketching out the crime scene, with the sigils, and the distances, Shira couldn’t figure out what was going on. To the untrained eye, it seemed like a complex ritual layered with meaning. Yet to Shira, who had done her masters dissertation on ancient blood rituals with a focus on the Norse, she was just confused.

They didn’t mean anything. Not in context. Though the arrangement was definitely familiar.

Ehwaz, Othala, Ansuz, Gebo.

“Loyalty, home, communication, gift,” she muttered “nothing to do with…wait…”

She knew those positions anywhere. How hadn’t she seen it right away?

Getting up, she made her way to the white board, quickly mapping out the scene with the runes and positions.

“Make a connection there, doctor?” Rossi asked, watching her “what’s the meaning behind the symbols?”

“I still can’t figure out the one that’s directly ahead,” Shira replied “but the others I recognize. Looking at them by themselves, their meaning is totally unrelated, but together? It’s one of the interpretations of the runed Helm of Awe.”

“A Norse symbol that serves like a compass,” Reid added, looking at the board “not much is known about it.”

“In mythology, it’s also been known as a symbol of protection, for those who cause chaos,” Shira continued “in the Poetic Edda, the dragon Fafnir gave the Helm credit for his seemingly being invincible. 'The Helm of Awe I wore before the sons of men in defense of my treasure; amongst all, I alone was strong, I thought to myself, for I found no power a match for my own'.”

“So, he’s basing the staging off something that gives power to those who cause chaos,” Hotch mused “he’s declaring himself invincible to our efforts. Getting off on the torture and the lack of progress from the officials.”

“He likes watching the police squirm,” Shira muttered “hopefully you’ll find a pattern with the victims before the next abduction.”

“That’s something we needed to speak with you about,” Rossi declared, earning cautious attention from her “all the victims; they’re women in their early thirties, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.”

“You fit the victimology to the letter,” Hotch added “and with your involvement in the case, that makes you more of a prime target. Needless to say, if you’re leaving the station, it won’t be without one of us or a detective.”

“You’re telling me this like I didn’t make the connection already,” Shira told them, smiling to reassure, though the glint in her eyes was a bit cheeky “a woman sees six of her near-doppelgangers dead, she connects the dots.”

“This could also mean that you might be the intended target,” Hotch continued, watching her “if it comes to that, we’ll have to interview you, and ask you to step away from the case.”

“Then I best do as much as I can, shouldn’t I?” she countered “give you all the help I can. After all, he isn’t gonna wait. Though if my presence hasn’t been made public or obvious, then that might buy some time, or it might make him angry. Either way, he might slip up.”

Watching the two talk, Rossi was both impressed and amused. Shira didn’t seem at all fazed that she might be a target. More that it seemed like fuel for her work. With her knowledge of profiling, as well, she almost sounded just like Hotch when she was talking. A quiet authority that had people listening whenever she spoke.

“I’ll bet you’re a favorite among students,” Rossi declared, earning a pleasantly surprised smile from Shira “direct and personable. How quick do your classes fill up?”

“Don’t even make it to the end of the first day of enrollment,” she replied, straightening up in pride “most students love having a younger teacher, and I like to think that I’m quite good at what I do.”

Rossi smiled at that, catching a quick glance at Hotch as Shira spoke. The slight smile on the younger agent’s face was a surprise, gone just as quick as it was seen, but Rossi was certain he saw it.

Already Rossi knew one thing for sure, about those two; Hotch was doomed, in the best way.

It was late, and the team was taking a break for dinner before calling it a night. Still at the police station, in case a call came in, Chinese food and small talk were the order of the night, as a reprieve from the work throughout the day.

Most of the talk was directed at Shira, the team wanting to get to know their consultant better.

“One of the youngest professors at the University, huh?” Morgan huffed, smirking a bit “starting to give pretty-boy here a run for his money.”

“Ah, I couldn’t measure up to the famous Doctor Reid,” Shira laughed “not many people who could! I was lucky to be granted one PHD.”

“Those committees are vicious,” Reid agreed, laughing “makes staring down an unsub look like nothing, sometimes. Takes guts to stand in front of people and have them question everything about your work. Give yourself credit, Doctor Amell.”

Shira laughed at that, dipping her head a bit in thanks at the compliment.

“And how about your personal life?” Emily asked “any pets?”

“One, a dog, though I definitely want more,” Shira replied “his name’s Michael. He’s a retired MWD.”

“Adopted a military working dog?” Rossi mused “good on you. They’re loyal and incredibly smart. Malinois?”

“German Shepard,” she answered “poor thing’s still skittish sometimes, but it makes sense. Most loyal man in my life, being the only one.”

“No soul mate yet?” Morgan wondered, noticing Hotch starting to watch her more closely “someone as smart and pretty as you should have found him by now.”

“Been busy,” Shira replied “master’s thesis, doctoral dissertation, books, teaching, and guest lectures. I noticeably value and show my intelligence. Most men are intimidated by that, and even if they aren’t…”

She trailed off for a moment, sitting up and rolling her shoulder a bit, before it audibly popped. Her smile was sad as she looked to Morgan.

“Even if they aren’t,” she continued “who would want to be saddled with all this?”

She gestured to herself, her joints, and shrugged. Looking down as she continued eating, she missed the surprise on most everyone’s face, including Hotch.

How much had she been through?

It was early morning, and the team was preparing to leave the hotel and go back to the station. Wanting to get in some quiet time to eat and think, Hotch made his way down to the dining room for some breakfast. Not many people were there, and he knew it wouldn’t be that way for long. Going to the coffee pots and water kettles, Hotch poured himself a mug, as someone came up beside him. Glancing over, he saw the person was in a sling, and was forced to do a double-take when he realized who it was.

“Doctor Amell?” Hotch felt his eyebrows go into his hairline, seeing her turn to him with a confused look “your arm?”

“It’s my shoulder, actually,” she replied, smiling sheepishly “won’t stay in easily, and it hurts. Afraid I won’t be doing any hiking today.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that,” he mused “I imagine it must hurt quite a bit.”

“Nothing more than I’m used to,” she promised, reaching with her left hand for a mug “though it sucks that it’s my right, being right-handed and all.”

Hotch watched as she grabbed the mug, reaching for a hot kettle as she picked out a tea bag. When she had the package open, and bag in the mug, he went and filled her mug for her.

“Oh, thank you,” Shira declared, smiling, as he finished “my arm definitely couldn’t support that for long.”

“Least I can do,” he replied “we should eat while we can, before the rest of the team wakes up.”

The way he said ‘rest of the team’ was something she definitely noticed, yet she didn't get her hopes up. Clearly, he was referring to his relationship with the team, and not her.

“Are you always up before the rest of them?” She asked “burden of leadership, I imagine, getting ahead of everyone so you can stay on top of your game.”

“Doesn't help that I don't sleep much,” Hotch replied, taking her mug as they went to a table “hard to sleep in new places.”

“Yet you're used to it, from how you're handling this,” she mused, smiling “not all professional experience, I think. Kids?”

“Pity you weren't able to join the Bureau,” he declared, amused “just one. My son, Jack.”

“You fight for justice and come home to your son,” Shira grinned, sitting and taking her mug with a grateful nod “a family man. Regular Captain America.”

“Just a man raising his son on his own, trying to make the world safer for him,” Hotch countered, sitting across from her “hardly have time for much superhero work.”

“Says the one who's basically a superhero,” she teased, smile widening as she saw him smile “your son has a wonderful role model to look up to, with you.”

“Thank you,” he replied, dipping his head slightly “it’s been tough, especially after his mother passed, but we have a good support network.”

“I’m sorry to hear she’s gone,” Shira declared, eyebrows knitting together as her heart went out to him “was she your…”

“No,” Hotch shook his head “but we both didn’t think our marks were the be all, end all. Love is love and can last a lifetime no matter what, or so we thought.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” she reassured him “I’m sure she’d be happy, when you do find the one.”

The silence wasn’t as tense as Shira expected, and she was surprised when Hotch straightened up and looked her in the eye.

“Doctor Amell,” he started “I wanted to apologize for my behavior back at Quantico, and on the plane. You’re here to help us, and I was disrespectful.”

“Believe it or not, I figured it might have been out of character for you,” she replied, smiling to try and comfort him “though I had chalked it up to how bad this case is. Besides, you came around eventually. In my mind, there’s nothing to forgive, but I know it helps to hear it, so I’ll say it; I forgive you, Agent Hotchner.”

Shira watched as his eyes softened, and a small smile came back to his face. A soft, vulnerable, almost happy glance that showed more than she was sure any of the team saw on a normal basis.

“And please,” she continued, smiling as a twinkle came to her eye “you can call me Shira. If you want to, that is.”

“And you can call me Hotch,” he replied, giving the smallest chuckle “the rest of the team does.”

“The way you keep saying that,” Shira mused, slightly hesitant “it’s a bit strange…”

“Because you feel like you’re not part of the team,” Hotch mused “that I’m just referring to their connection to me, but it’s entirely the opposite. It’s temporary and new, but you’re doing just as much work to solve this as we are. We brought you in. You’re just as much a part of the team.”

The way her heart fluttered made Shira blush, and she smiled for him.

“That’s sweet of you to say,” she replied “thank you, Hotch. We should probably eat something, before we head into the station. Don’t know about you, but a muffin of any kind sounds great.”

Hotch smiled, turning to look at the tray that he could see she’d been eyeing. Going over and grabbing two, he brought them back to their table. Shira smiled wider when she saw the flavor that he brought for her.

“Blueberry?” she asked, immediately taking the top off so she could enjoy it last.

“Fruit tends to go better with black tea, in my opinion,” he answered, watching her closely “balances it out.”

“Only someone who enjoys tea could come to that conclusion,” Shira laughed between bites, grinning “blueberry’s one of my favorites.”

When he came down for breakfast, Rossi was distracted by thinking on the case. Yet when he heard familiar voices engaged in conversation, he was jolted to clarity. Looking around, he saw Hotch and Shira tucked into a corner, deep in conversation. The smile on Hotch’s face brought one to Rossi’s, seeing the way that the two were relaxed around each other.

“Is that Hotch…smiling? And eating?”

Rossi turned to see Morgan and Reid behind him, both looking equally shocked.

“This whole case just got more interesting,” Rossi chuckled “but we’ve got work to focus on.”

As the rest of the team came down, and everyone was able to eat something, they were getting ready to head in before Hotch got a call. Watching as he took it, expression falling, they knew it was bad news.

“Unsub’s taken another woman,” he told them “let’s get going. We have work to do.”

◊

“A heart worth loving is one you understand, even in silence.” – Shannon L. Alder

∞

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #soul mark au #aaron hotchner fanfic #hotch fanfiction #searching my dreams for a lifetime

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iantoin221b · 4 years ago

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Prompt: You`re a killer, dumping your latest victim into the river. Just as you`re about to be done, you spot another person; Doing the same thing. And they just spotted you.

I can`t remember which blog I spotted it off and it was about two years ago but here we are. Have some murder buddies.

5. The number was slowly climbing. Killing was easier than I had expected. As a species, we clearly, are not meant to survive; poor hearing, relatively slow reflexes and we don’t listen to our instincts – When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up; don’t ignore it.

Tonight’s victims: A short middle-aged man with surprisingly long black hair, almost like a drummer but it didn’t seem to match. People were a mystery, but you know, it worked for some. With a sigh, I lugged the body out of the car (don’t worry, he was all wrapped up safe and the car was covered so definitely no fingerprints) and rolled it toward the river (because boy was this guy heavy!) and kicked him in after adding a few rocks to his feet; after all, I couldn’t have him floating to the surface now could I? With a grin, I dusted my gloved hands on my jeans and looked out across the moonlit water when…

FUCK! HOLY FUCK! Across the river there was a woman with light blond hair and an open mouth and not to mention, she was. STARING. AT.ME! I`m pretty sure she had just seen me kick my latest body into the water. OH SHIT! She knew, I was caught, I was going to jail, it was all over!

Wait….

The girl smiles at me as she raises a similarly gloved hand before, she too, rolls her own body into the water.

THIS CHICK WAS A KILLER TOO! Plot twist of the fucking century.

I wasn’t going to jail! and hey…she was waving at me…maybe she wanted to be friends? Murder friends? Is that a thing? Do people do that? Huh…only one way to find out, I guess. Well, unless she tries to murder me but I`m pretty good at it sooooo I suppose we`ll see on that front. With a smile, waved back and held up my finger to show I was on the way, watched her nod enthusiastically before jumping in my truck and heading over.

She was lingering by the trees, her hair tucked behind her ears and…a baseball bat…a bloody baseball bat in her hand. Welp. Guess I wasn’t the only one that was nervous.

“Hey” I opened with a half-wave, making sure one hand was touching the hilt of the knife that I kept hidden in my jeans. Safety first.

“Hi…I umm…I saw you with the, well, you know. Its cool to know we pick the same lake” she blurted, stepping a little closer and lowering the bat.

“Yeah, I gotta say, I was pretty surprised to be honest.”

“Me too! Although it was random, I mean this was my first umm, thing, I`m just hoping I`ve done it right.” I couldn’t help but smile at her shyness, it was actually kind of sweet.

“This is my fifth, he was actually a little boring, he didn’t even run or anything.” I told her with a huff, the first guy I killed had been so much more exciting; all the screaming and running away and the begging! It was great, especially when he was an absolute dick to everyone. She giggled a little.

“Mine was sleeping, didn’t even see it coming.” It was a good start, easy and she couldn’t get caught.

“Clever, I like it.” The smile I got in response was worth the comment.

“I`m Casey”

“Melina”

“Will you do it again? You know, killing?” Casey asks quietly, lowering her bat completely and stepping a little closer.

“Probably, I`ve got a rapist on my list. That guy has got to go.” I told her seriously, cocking my head slightly when she opened her mouth, didn’t say anything, and then closed it again. Casey took a breath and opened her mouth again.

“Could I…I mean…Could I come with you? Learn? And you know, maybe help? I mean, not like you need help at all. You`ve clearly got this down but it would be nice for me you know?” Now the rambling was cute, really cute and the little blush was adorable. I didn’t even have to think.

“Sure, definitely.”

“Really?! Really?! Oh! That it so exciting!” Casey practically squealed, her bat clattering on the floor as she practically flung herself at me for a hug. I let out a little laugh and hugged her back just as tight.

“I`m thinking Thursday? You free?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as I pulled back.

“Thursday! Yep, Thursday is really good. Do you want to take my number?” Casey was already pulling out her phone and before I knew it, she`d sent me a text and we were planning a ‘murder date’…at the coffee shop…at the park…I mean, at least it came with hot drinks and well, good company. She grinned at me one last time.

“I`ll see you Thursday then!” and with that, she was jumping into her car and speeding away – it never was good to linger. I shook my head and pulled off my gloves as I watched her tail lights disappear into the woods. Who thought murder could lead to friends?

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Murder buddies, that is definitely what we are. Casey and I had literally spent the whole afternoon together, chatting about people we hate (because for murderers that is an excellent conversation starter) …and we ended up on dogs? I mean, dogs are great, but it is not where I thought our conversation would lead to. At all. Anyway, back to Casey, the girl…well…woman, she is 23, lives down town in a small apartment with her German Shepard called Mika, she`s into reading and she honestly sounds like she has the biggest DVD collection which I`m quite frankly jealous of, and she works in a Library. We were actually pretty similar; out favourite show was Game of Thrones, we shared a mutual love for the Inheritance Cycle and we were both big dog girls. Even if we hadn’t met when we were getting rid of evidence, I`m pretty sure we would have been the best of friends regardless.

“So we`re meeting at yours on Saturday, 8pm?” Casey questioned as she placed her second empty coffee cup on the table, brushing a strand of blond hair out of her face with a frown. Okay, 8 was a little early to meet up for murder but I know that they`re showing some Game of Thrones re-runs and it would be nice to hang out for a little bit and well of course, talk about the murder we were planning, mostly the murder. Its not like I wanted to cuddle up to her and make her smile. Nope. Definitely not. Nope. Murder buddies, that’s it.

“Yeah, I could pick up take away maybe? It would probably be easier.” Lie. Liar. Liar. It was not easier, not for me and not for her.

“As long as its pizza or Chinese.”

“Pizza it is, there is this great place downtown.”

“Great! I`ll text you what I`m feeling because honestly that can change by the hour, never mind the day.” I let out a soft chuckle and nodded in response, I certainly knew that feeling. Casey grabbed her bag with a happy sigh and stood up.

“I`m sorry I`ve got to leave, Mika has a vet appointment. Silly guy got his head stuck in between two of the fence posts in the park and has cut his whole neck. I swear to god he has no brain cells.” She closed her eyes, definitely contemplating how Mika was that stupid, before she headed off with a last wave.

I smiled to myself and headed up to the till to pay off my tab, pausing when the guy looked confused.

“Your tab has already been paid for…By the blond girl you were with?” The poor cashier hedged. I simply bobbed my head in response and walked out of the café, barely paying attention to my surroundings as I thought it over.

Shed paid for my drink (and my cake but that’s not the point) as well as her own…I mean, we had got separate tabs to kinda prevent this and she just paid for it? Did it mean something? Was she just thanking me for letting her join me on Saturday? Or was this something else….

Nope. Its nothing. Casey is just that friendly and that’s that. There are no hidden feelings behind it, not from her and…um…not from me so were good, I`ll just beat her to it next time. You know, you snooze, you loose and all that jazz. I stopped in the middle of the path and grinned to myself.

I was definitely paying for takeaway on Saturday.

#murder girlfriends #fluff #prompt #gay fluff #drabble #one shot #i mean maybe #i might write more #cute #surprise girlfriends #murder buddies #murder friends #plot twist

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athena1138 · 5 years ago

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20(5) questions

okokok. I think this was the last one, lol.

I was tagged by @wolvenstormsstuff !~

I’ll tag (again) @gaymingbinosaur , @thejeeperswife , @redpaperowl , @hell-fire-and-tacos , @cealondiangal , and everybody who wants to do it <3 (No worries if you don’t wanna)

1)Name: Becca Eileen (but I’m kind of thinking about going by Lenny?)

2)Nickname: I don’t have one, really.

3)Zodiac: Scorpio

4)Height: 5′7 (170cm?)

5)Languages: Fluently: Spanish and English. I can get by but still make a fool of myself: Chinese, French, Japanese

6)Nationality: American (sigh)

7)Favourite season: Summer. I love the heat, and I like to go swimming and sit in the sun, and the way I sleep, I get to see both the sunrise and the sunset

8)Favourite flowers: Hydrangeas, peonies, lotus flowers, and I’ve started liking dahlias

9)Favourite scent: Newspaper, Apples, the strawberry patch candle from Home and Garden (I buy 3 every time I buy them which is like. Every 2 months lol,) gasoline, diesel, the ocean.

10)Favourite colour: Teal, mulberry

11)Favourite animal: ALL OF THEM. Top 5 though? Pandas, octopuses, elephants, quokkas, penguins. And like. Cats and dogs of course.

12)Favourite fictional character: Ah shit. Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. Commander Data. Commander Shepard. Poison Ivy. Fjord, Caduceus, Yasha, Grog, and Pike from Critical Role.

13)Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Yes. Coffee every day, tea for special occasions, hot chocolate with dessert in winter

14)Average sleep: Not enough. Maybe 4-5 hours a day on a good day? On average a week, 25ish hours.

15)Dog or cat person: Cat. I love dogs, don’t get me wrong, but they’re just... so much sometimes.

16)Number of blankets: On my bed, 4. In total, 18ish.

17)Dream trip: Somewhere hot with beautiful water. The Bahamas? Jamaica? Maldives? I don’t know, or really care. I just wanna go lay out on a beach for a month and then decide it’s not worth it to go back home and move to wherever I’m lounging

18)Blog established: Oh,ohoh, I just looked at this the other day. March, 2014. I didn’t start using it, really, until about 2 years later.

19)Followers: 338. I lost 2 sometime in the last day.

20)Random fact about me: I had a dream yesterday that I platonically married my best friend Kerrigan and we had an adopted daughter named John.

21)Gender: female

22)Sexuality: Pan

23)Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff~

24)Where are you from: Bumfuck Nowhere, Indiana, US.

25)Why I started this account: Peer pressure, honestly. The friend who made me make my Tumblr was a bitch who couldn’t not have things her way, so she literally sat and watched me make a Tumblr just so she could tag me in shit. Instead of, yknow, just sending me it. But it’s fine. 6 years later and this is my main social media lol.

#shut up becca #about becca

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the-pan-ace-writings · 5 years ago

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Chapter 3 The long road and a Flower

First Previous Masterlist

Riona has spent the last three months helping the Minutemen rebuild the commonwealth, she's acquired a good deal of new equipment, she's taken up a thick trench coat and a bandanna that matches the skull on her newest companion, an over sized German Shepard that was dubbed Dogmeat. She's also carries a small armory on her at all times at this point, but her preferred weapon quickly became an electrified Chinese officer sword. Her rolled sleeve blouse was virtually destroyed after an unfortunate encounter with a flamer armed forge member, leaving her with a still pink burn across her chest licking up to her neck, and her undershirt hat managed to survive for the most part.

She was currently headed out to a city called Goodneighbor, having taken up at as caravan guard set out from a weirdo town called the Covenant which she was all too happy to st out from, the people having been near obsessed with Synths, controlled by a faction called the Institute which seems to slowly become less of boogeyman and more of a thing.

Riona picked up some of a reputation in the concord area as someone who'll help settlements and as someone who carries a half ton of junk around with them. But she’s collected a fair amount of caps killing raiders and selling scrap.

It took them about a day to walk there with the lumbering Brahmin that the traders tended to use, Riona kept the rear for the caravan and was the first subjected to the giant rat creatures that burst up from the ground beneath the brahmin sending it bolting.

“Dogmeat!” she yelled the command to chase after the brahmin over the other guards yells of “Mole Rats!”

A large mole rat jumped up in an attempt to bite into Riona’s thigh but it met the pommel of her sword with a wet crotch as its skull collapse inwards, she turned her sword downwards sinking it into the side of a lunging rat flinging it bodily into another more mangy rat. It squealed as it received a shock cooking inside its wound.

The molerats were quickly dispatched between her and the other guard, Riona took the moment to collect and clean the remnants of them for later as dogmeat trotted back with the reins of the brahmin.

It was evening when they arrived in a neon light filled version of scollay square, the sky was a light in a warm orange and purple only accentuated by the faint glow of Goodneighbor itself. She broke from the caravan after taking her payment and walked through the front entrance of the town.

“Hold up there. First time in Goodneighbor? Can’t go walking around without insurance” a man in a leather jacket walked up to Riona, lighting up a cigarette blowing the smoke towards her.

“Hey why don't you back off buddy, before you're the one needing insurance, huh?” she threatened, lifting her sword up from her hip clicking on the battery connected to it.

“Hmm? What was that couldn't hear you over all that false bravado, Why don't you hand over everything you got them in pockets or ‘accidents’ might just start happening?” he cracked his knuckles and flicked his cigarette at her. “Big bloody ‘accidents’, ya dig”

She looked down at the cigarette still burning at her feet, she ground it into the cracked pavement.

“Oh yeah I’m tracking” she nearly swung the blade at him, when a ghoul stepped out of the alley between the state house on their left.

“whoa , whoa, Time out.” he was dressed in similar period clothes that Preston wore, his was a dirty red overcoat on top of an even worst tunic. “Someone steps through the gate the first time, they are a guest. You lay off that extortion crap.” he strode over confidently.

“What’d you care? She ain’t on us.” the gruff man snarked at the ghoul, turning completely away from Riona.

“What no love for your mayor, Finn?” his voice took a quick downturn to that of a dangerous man “I said let em’ go”

Finn scoffed at the mayor growing annoyed, Riona flicked off the battery on her sword and took a step back from the situation, obviously this ran deeper than she thought.

“You’re soft Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day there’ll be a new mayor. “ it surprised Riona when Hancock voice dropped to something closer to friendly and stepped toward Finn placing his hand on his shoulder, clasping him like one does to an old friend.

“Come on. Man. this is me we’re talkin about. Let me tell you something.” Hancock led forward and in a quick rush a knife was buried repeatedly into a double over Finn, who weekly collapsed to the ground. Hancock just looked down mournfully at his body “Now why’d you have to go and say that, huh/ Breaking my heart over here.” he looked up to Riona. “You all right, sister?”

She just stared in surprise,

“You killed him.”

Hancock just laughed. “Got a good pair of eyes on ya, i think you'll fit in here. Goodneighbor of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone’s welcome.”

Riona just nodded, looking down between Finn and Hancock

“yeah , I feel you” she shook her head still in minor shock at the actions of the supposed mayor, but she figures that this is the norm now in the wasteland cities.

“Good. you stay cool, and you'll be part of the neighborhood.” he leaned in closer, eyes narrowing “so long as you remember who’s in charge.” he turned around after tipping his tricorn hat, sauntering off to the state house behind him, leaving her stand alone over Finn’s body.

She took the caps off him, shaking her head.

“I need a drink, Christ” she kicked him out of her way and walked off towards the ally Hancock entered from, Dogmeat following at her heels.

Through her wandering she found what looks like the entrance of a subway with a bright red neon sign that said “The Third Rail” , it sounded like a bar if she ever heard of one and slipped inside, the bouncer let her through with little issue only giving warning about keeping the dog in check down there.

Once she entered the main room of the bar she was met by sultry sounds of one of the most gorgeous women she's seen in a long time singing on the small stage in the corner of the room, being watched by what looked like the most drug addled people she's laid eyes on. She smiled at the woman singing and went to sit down at the bar.

The bartender was a posh sounding Mr. Handy who took her order “politely” and didn't try to keep conversation with her. She finished her first drink while watching the singer on stage move her hips, gilding her hands down her red dress, when she turned back to the bartender to order a second drink it's as already there, taking the drink she raised it to her lips and winked at the signer. Shortly there after Riona felt a warmth press into her side as a chair was pushed aside to allow the singer to lean back on the bar.

“Names Magnolia” her voice was husky and spoken within inches of Riona’s face, She smirked placing the glass down to face her more.

“Riona, how bout we get to know each other better?” Riona leaned back a bit, placing her elbow on the bar behind her, propping her boots on the bar beneath her chair. Magnolia stepped into the space between her knees

“Oh Really? Go on… “ she was leaning on her knee at this point, hand dropping to steady herself there. Riona smirked, she hadnt had this much fun since she was discharged.

“You. Me. an evening stroll under the streetlights…” she brought her hand to rest on Magnolia’s hand.

“And then what?” Magnolia moved her hand from just above Riona’s knee to rest higher on her thigh. Riona leaned into Magnolia, bringing her lips to her ear. She made eye contact with a lithe figure standing that the archway of the backroom, they were just staring. She smirked and placed her hand on Magnolia's hip and whispered.

“Music” she winked at the lithe figure standing up pulling her closer, Magnolia reached behind Riona to grab her coat, pressing into her then Magnolia took the lead pulling her from the bar.

She woke in the Hotel Rexford.

#maccready #reader x maccready #robert joseph maccready #sole survivor x maccready #sole survivor #magnolia #reader x magnolia #sole survivor x magnolia #fallout4 #fallout4 companions #sat in the ashes

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red-wardens · 6 years ago

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18, 25 and B for Kieran ^.^

Kyung-jae “Kieran” Tabris

(ft. OC Face Claim: Kwak Dong-Yeon)

18. What embarrasses them?

“I- uh. I don’t get embarrassed, ok? Only people with shame who give a fuck about what other people think of them get embarrassed about things. And I don’t. At all. ..But, uh, well. Y’know when people get all mushy about thanking you for shit? That’s..kinda weird. Girls are the worst at it. They’ll be all smiley and starry eyed and try to hug you and thank you just cuz you killed something about to kill them or something. Look, I’m just doing my job ok? Y-you don’t need to thank me…”

((So basically affection if you’re not close friends and just joking around. Cough cough, also when people find out he’s a bottom in bed. And in Modern AU when people find out he used to be a Boy Scout))

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

“What of it? It’s mostly a convenience thing right? Two incomes to buy more stuff, or one works more so the other can manage the kids? Eh,” *dismissive shrug* “I know it’s some people’s thing- Mahariel’s all about that life- and that’s fine, I guess. I just don’t see the appeal. Velanna tried to bring it up a couple times back when we were together but.” *a pause* “..It’s just not for everyone. She deserved better. I’m selfish, I already know that. I’d be a shitty husband.”

((His dad left his mom and him when Kieran was really young. He doesn’t have anything against Cyrion but he always thought his mom re-married just to make life easier for them in Ferelden.))

B) What inspired you to create them?

My first 3 Wardens (Blue Surana, Isseya Mahariel, Alyss Amell) were all girls and when I started creating my Multi-Warden AU Kieran was the first Warden-Companion of my 4 Non-Heroes-of-Ferelden. I wanted a straight male character (yes, Kieran started out straight. He VERY soon gave me the finger and made it very clear he was a chaotic bisexual though) and I wanted him to be…awful. So I took inspiration from two of the most frustrating but interesting guys I’ve known. I didn’t expect Kieran to develop as much depth as he has now. He started out as 1/3 one person [an inconsiderate but complicated Korean friend who helped with the Korean culture aspects of him in Modern AU], 1/3 another person [my Japanese friend who’s very much combative and loud mouthed and mean], and 1/3 his own awful person. But the last third is the one that developed into who he predominantly is now. I never intended to give him so many layers to who he is but now I love him for it. Plus, I wanted a warrior to tank hits (that’s mainly Cassian Cousland now though) for my squishier characters (my Amell) and charge into battle fearlessly waving a giant sword around. And protect Shianni as much as I wanted to. I also very much wanted another Asian OC (in addition to my Chinese Shepard, my Japanese Ryder, and the Filipino Lavellan I scrapped).

As for his name I really had no idea. I figured someone was going to have to do the ritual with Morrigan and I’d planned to make my other two males asexual and gay so..it would have to be this warrior. So I stole Morrigan’s son’s name.

——–

Uncommon OC Questions

#answered asks #kieran tabris #kieran answers #thanks for asking again!#chillyrose #my tabris

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chriscalledmesweetie · 7 years ago

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2017 Fic in Review Tag Game

Thanks for the tag, @daisyfairy1.

Total number of completed stories: 48

Total word count: 125,511 (I really wish I’d written 10 more words, so it would be a palindrome.)

Fandoms written in: Mostly Sherlock, a smattering of Glee, and several crossovers with other fandoms, including Arnold Lobel’s Frog and Toad and Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

I wrote a bit less in 2017 than 2016, since it took me a while to get over the horror of S4.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

That’s like asking a parent to choose a favorite child! I guess I’ll just give a shout-out to a few that aren’t mentioned below: John Watson and the Curse of the Were-Kitten, No More Sherlock Jumping on the Bed, and Hedgehog Day.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I tried out the 221B format for the first time, which was a bit scary because every word literally counts, but I was quite pleased with the results: Dying of Consumption and Long Fingers, Short Nails.

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

I want to keep to my schedule of posting a new chapter of Not Entirely Clueless every Wednesday. So far I’m 33 chapters in and haven’t missed a week, but there’s still a long way to go.

I signed up to write for @mystrade-valentines, so I need to put together something in my Naughty Mystrade Holidays series by the end of the month.

I promised readers a sequel to Three Continents, No Compliments, so I’m hoping to finish that soon, as well.

Oh, and I’m a contributor for the Fandom Trumps Hate auction, so I’ll be working on something special for the winning bidder.

Best story of the year?

Best is a subjective term, but my short story with the most kudos - and which I was immensely pleased to have HEALme request permission to translate into Chinese - is Reverse Psychology.

Most popular story of the year?

That depends on how you measure popularity. The Mole has the most kudos, Southanger Abbey has the most comments, and Our Divinest Senses has the most hits.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Rubber Soul Mates has only 278 hits on AO3 - although I dearly appreciate all 31 of the lovely readers who left kudos, and the 10 who left comments.

Most fun story to write:

Oh, I had fun with all of them in different ways, but I think I’ll echo what @daisyfairy1 said - it was a blast to post something “written” by thereal_moriarty. Channeling his voice in I’ll Get a Candle was wickedly enjoyable. ;)

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters & most unintentionally telling story:

I think I’ll go with Princess Sherlock and the Pea, since that was my first foray into femlock.

Biggest disappointment:

I had the last several chapters of Our Divinest Senses all plotted out, and then TFP aired, giving me literal nightmares, and the setting was so freakishly similar to the one I’d created that I just couldn’t bring myself to write any more in that ‘verse. I am forever indebted to @alexxphoenix42 and PatPrecieux for finishing the story for me. @daisyfairy1 has her own conclusion planned, and if there’s anyone else out there who’d like to contribute to the Our Divinest Senses Alternative Endings collection (a la Clue) I'd love to read your work!

Biggest surprise: @iamjohnlocked4life made me a surprise podfic of April Fools. Best surprise ever!

Tagging: Everyone mentioned above, plus @ghislainem70 @isitanylittlewonder @imnova @discordantwords @ggaypilot @may-shepard @love-in-mind-palace @atlinmerrick @221b-hound @green-violin-bow @watsonshoneybee @sussexbound @hudders-and-hiddles @fangirllock @vulgarweed and anyone else who’d like to share. :)

#tag game #sherlock fic #johnlock fic #mystrade fic #my fic #sherlock #johnlock #mystrade

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elizarosephotography-blog · 7 years ago

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Art history Chapter 10; Early Christian and Byzantine Art

For my research on a concurrent nonwestern art movement, I chose China. It is listed from 1-500 A.D. I have always been fascinated by China and their artwork. Whether it be their architecture, or the simplicity of their art, I have always been intrigued. In fact, just thinking about it makes me excited! For all of my posts, I have been interested in the cultures of the people, like the Ancient Egyptians, or the Ancient Greeks and Romans. But man, I would love to read more about the art history of Ancient China. Here’s what I learned though from The Metropolitan Museum of Art. In the Han Dynasty, (206 B.C - 220 A.D) China established a lasting model of imperial order among their nations that is still around to this day. These people even refer to themselves as the “Han people.”

I did some research on the Han people. They are in fact the most populous ethnic group in all of China. During the time of 206 B.C - 220 A.D, the Han people were forced south because of pressure from political turmoil, and during this time and for 300 years, the Chinese remained divided between the north and south, all the while picking up things such as Buddhism, painting and calligraphy. Within my research I found that Mahayana Buddhism is definitely a popular religion still to this day with the Han people. It is common within Ancient Chinese artwork to see statues of religion, or of Buddha. They used art materials such as gilt bronze and earthware to craft their art. The Han people were closely mixed with archaeology, biology and mythology, which can also be seen within their artwork. Their mythology can be seen in their art work of dragons (which I absolutely love). During this time they also began utilizing paper, which became a big deal during the third century A.D.

Okay, I am really excited about chapter 10. If you read the Bible, you can see that timelines add up, that being, when Early Christianity began influencing art and apostle Paul started teaching the Romans about Jesus Christ. While Christianity was spreading, it also had to stay an underground movement for three hundred years, because Christians were being persecuted. This was until Constantine issued the Edict of Milan, granting tolerance of all religions, which included Christianity. Somewhere in the Bible it is stated, “There is nothing new under the sun.” And that statement is the truest statement that I’ve ever heard. Even now, in today’s society are we always fighting for tolerance and equality of some sort. The fight is never ending, and this world will always seem unfair. But at that time, Constantine allowed for the tolerance of religion, which is interesting to me.

The Early Christian sarcophagus (Page 155 in the text) is very interesting to look at. We can see the detail and depth it takes, much like the art work we have seen beforehand in this art history book. It is also made out of marble, which was a common material used by the ancient Greeks and Romans. But the Christian influence on it is heavy, displaying people from the Bible and symbolism. (A Shepard representing Christ for example, and the dove, being the Holy Spirit.)

As I was reading about the Basilicas, or the beginning of the Christian churches, I was thinking to myself, “Okay, here is where we see evidence of Christians wanting to come together to worship and join in fellowship.” And the sentence right after confirmed that for me. Constantine was an active supporter of the churches being built. The churches were heavily influenced on architectural design, especially the Roman basilicas. These buildings were able to hold large amounts of people for Christian worship, and this just goes to show how fast Christianity was spreading during that time. The mosaics, frescoes, and marble columns were used to exalt God, and to teach and inspire worshipers. I love artwork in churches, we can see evidence with this as well that beautiful artwork stayed in churches ever since Christian influence overtook western art.

Christian mosaic was also made by adapting a Roman method, which was embedding tessarae. I am mesmerized by the mosaics on pages 160-163 of the texts. I can imagine how beautiful they must look in real life! I hope to see them one day. These mosaics are full of stories and symbolism. (The mosaic on page 170 is also magnificent. Such detail!)

Similarly to Near East and Egypt, we can see gold being used to symbolize royalty, or something grand. In the Hagia Sophia, we can see the gold roof, and it’s amazing. Through this artwork, we can see the influence of art through each time period, everyone taking something from each other to make art that is more and more grand. It makes me think on how far we’ve come, even now.

I can see the point that the Iconoclasts make. In fact, I can see it in my minds eye, people worshiping the art and it’s beauty rather than what it symbolizes. It makes me wonder just how much art we’ve lost that we could have had to this day. This was a very interesting chapter, it’s probably my favorite so far!

N.A (N.A.) China, 1-500 A.D Retrieved from: China, 1–500 A.D. | Chronology | Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History | The Metropolitan Museum of Art

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luckyspacerabbit · 3 years ago

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would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

#my meta #kai leng #anon #asks #PHEW #THAT TOOK A WHILE #HAHAH #dan hyun shepard #mass effect #meta

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comastoast · 7 years ago

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@onlydrowning yOU ASKED FOR THIS you WILDN i HOPE UR PREPARED FOR THIS CHAOS // this took me so fuckdamn long im so sorry there’s a bunch under here & it’s long i hope u enjoy:tm:

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ daisy eden

( MILO SHEPARD, Nick Jonas, 24. ) Okay so FIRST THINGS FIRST SHE CUTE AS HELL and I was reading her lil bio and the first person who came to mind was Milo because she’s a trauma nurse and I don’t know if she works with children but if she did she could be the one who requests child services who sends Milo to take care of the kids and it’s not so much romantic as it is just sort of therapeutic in a sense because they can discuss the patient with each other not like too deep but enough that they kind of have a loop hole in the sense that they can ask each other for advice with situations and that turns into getting coffee to talk about patients / cases to lunches to after work drinks to dinners and they just accidentally while trying to do their work and seeing eachother on their very limited time off or maybe in passing constantly blossomed into this bond between them that they doNT EVEN REALIZE IS THERE UNTIL THEY’RE LITERALLY LIKE STANDING THERE LOOKING AT EACHOTHER LIKE WHEN IN THE FUC DID THESE FEELINGS JUST SUDDENLY CHIME IN who IS THIS person i know their coffee order and their history and their family and this is wild who are you who am i are we dating????

( OPHELIA MONROE, Billie Lourd, 22 ) Ophie does a lot of charity work and events and maybe she’s around the hospital a lot because when she’s not at work she comes to visit with the children / hang out with them and her mother is also a doctor so she kind of gets to not HANG OUT IN THE HOSPITAL BC THATS WEIRD but she eats in the lunch room and maybe Ophelia’s mother is actually Daisy’s brother’s doctor unless you have it canon her father is bUT U KNOW COLLEAGUE but Daisy and Ophie sometimes eat lunch together or she’s a nice shoulder to lean on you know cute girl squad vibes

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ CHARLIE??????????

( JACKSON ALLEN, Daniel Sharman, 23 ) 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 we actively already talked about this but im half putting this here to remind you and half remind me because i SPACED ON THIS STARTER BUT WE ALREADY KNOW WHATS GONA GO DOWN HERE WITH JAC K & CHARLIE AIGHT BYE

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ darla “dee” petrov

( NOLAN GRAND, Aaron Tveit, 25 ) WHY. DIDN’T. U. TELL. ME. U. HAD. AN. ANASTASIA. I WANT THAT WHOLE PLOT FOR NOLAN OR MCFREAKIN AN Y OF MY MUSES IT COULD WORK WITH HEATH TOO BUT LIKE WHY. AM I JUST NOW LEARNING THIS BEAUTIFUL NEWS??????????????? DO YOU HAVE THIS YET?????? DO YOU WANT IT BC I MCFREAKIN DO

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ bella kelli

( KAZ REMY, Vanessa Morgan, 21 ) SO with Bella’s whole history and her super famous family I can 100% see Kaz like obsessed or a big fan and I don’t know if Bella would join a sorority or anything but either way Kaz could play it cool like she wouldn’t be DRAMATIC FAN GIRL but she’d know about the show and maybe Bella is like yeah no it was a bad time and then the girls become hardcore best friends and just squad goals on Kaz’s instagram OR EVEN DRAMATICALLY GO THE OPPOSITE WAY like Bella Hates Kaz bc she’s everything she tried to escape and once upon a time Kaz was the popular girl in college and she hates Bella bc she kind of stole that spotlight BUT EITHER WAY IS COOL FOR ME

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ zoey dutchess

( MAGS O’SULLIVAN, Saorise Ronan, 23 ) I can definitely see them at LGBTQ+ events and spending late nights working on posters but then Mags is like listen we’ve been working enough and you’re always studying why don’t we go out for once and they explore boston, mass which isn’t too far from harvard and they have this amazing day of just shooting the shit and getting a little shwasty and mags is just like lil bit heart eyes but it’s cool she keeps hERSELF CALM COOL & COLLECTED FOR SURE

( CHARLES “CHAZ” PALMER, Zac Efron, 26 ) He’s Not An Official Muse because I forgot to add him when I was adding temps but bitch just give me a frat boy / rich Harvard asshole who is only there because his dad donated a lot of mcfuckin money and he’s been there for way too long and one day he’s walking across campus and he sees Zoey studying or something and he immediately busts his way into her life but she’s not HAVING it she’s like listn you’re just some dumb idiot and you’re not taking advantage of being here ur fucking DUMB and it’s CLICHE BUT IT CAN HAVE SOME DEPTH AND A LOT OF FUN TWISTS AND TURNS OK

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ vincent montgomery

( COLBY JAMES, Sofia Black D’elia, 20 ) Okay But Imagine Colby is such a fucking fangirl for the misfits band and she’s gone to every single concert that was within reasonable distance then one day she actually wins a stupid talk-show radio contest and gets backstage tickets to the upcoming show & honestly the entire day turns into a massive mess for Colby like when she gets there it’s super late and the lines insanely long and she missed the first few songs then other super rich backstage VIPs are shitty toward her and she just gets more and more angry until she literally snaps and punches one of the girls RIGHT IN THE FACE and maybe it happens AS Vince is walking by or maybe a band member and someone’s trying to break up the fight and Colby technically has to be kicked out but wowza this is getting lame and cliche but maybe Vincent is here asf for the vibe she’s kinda kicking off and invites her to the bus and this would hella be that cliche shit and i realize now that im done writing it this sucks but pls just xoxo love me

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ maddox white

( BECK CONNOLLY, Elizabeth Olsen, 29 ) Beck isn’t exactly the most sentimental person but I can imagine her being close with Maddox for a long time like maybe they were childhood friends & they lost touch for a while / when he was with his girlfriend who broke his heart because Beck honestly didn’t like her vibe but didn’t want to be that friend so she tried to give him space then when they broke up I can aggressively and disgustingly see Beck writing Maddox a literal movie script or SOMETHING ANYTHING because that’s how she tries to like show affection with her words and producing work and she’d definitely write him a movie as a literal disney prince who has hardships and deals with a lot of bad shit but he’s actually a really good dude in her eyes and just it’s an animation piece and she’s like ‘listen no one even really has to know its you but i want your voice for the prince i won’t take no for an answer’ so she brings him out to LA so it’s just a lot of bonding & working on his movie & deep talks & chinese food netflix & legit chill just good VIBES you feel me??

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ samuel wells

( OPHELIA MONROE, Billie Lourd, 22 ) Do you hear the cliche bad influence plot because I do but not like samuel is aggressively pushing anything on Ophelia as much as it is Ophie is beginning to experiment because she was hanging out with all the wrong people and she already has that ‘im a druggie’ look because of the bags under her eyes but those are only there because she’s drained from staying up until 4 AM the night before so one night while she’s hanging out with her friends she meets Sam and he’s doing drugs so she’s like I mean I might as well try right??? and she like gravitates toward him for multiple reasons ( like a. he’s attractive b. he seems to have a general idea of what he’s doing c. she’s never seen him before the list goes on ) and this is lowkey just how it starts it can go down a variety of toxic ass paths like we could even set up a future verse where he actively got sober and so did Ophelia and they only could get sober when they were apart but then they get together again and they’re getting all kinds of fucked up and like they dig each other but the fuckin TOXICITY of their relationship bc they can only really feel like their old selves when they’re high & they’re eachothers triggers but it’s a nice ass trigger like they’re here af for this trigger

╰ ☾ ⛧⌒*｡ dakota heart

( LENNON, Jaira Burns, 23 ) Put. Dakota. On. Lennon’s. Youtube. Like he aggressively can be a constant guest on the show & they’re like best friends & lenny is the one who hooks him up with as many people as she can get her hands on / they’re wingmen and just good times good vibes storytime videos & challenges & she supports the living fuc outta him modeling like she’s aggressively ‘BOI U GOT THAT NICE ASS FACE ND THE BOD THOSE GIRLS OUT THERE GONNA WILD OUT FOR U lemme help with ur make up ur looking a lil pale today’ or something just like AGGRESSIVE PLATONIC SUPPORT OF HIS SUCCESS

#⁽ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵒʰ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ⁾ completed meme.#brave lil toaster.

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