#And like Im letting people down like my fucking sister who responds

[downfallofi]

I dunno why it feels important for me to talk about my day at work, to anyone, because either I'm info-dumping an impossibly huge block of text on someone and expecting them to do anything but run away screaming from me, or I'm just responding to a child making dinner conversation with some part of talking about what I did today and feeling my sister judging me coldly and asking why I am putting off getting my bachelor's, don't I see that I'm just letting companies exploit me.

[paigesfuturewifey]

authors note! IM SORRY FOR BEING MIA college was kicking my ass (still is) and i’m trying my hardest not to crash out but here is an angsty fic :D

this is also heavily inspired by she wouldn’t be gone by blake shelton IK IK country music sue me it is unfortunately part of my roots so yes here she is

“i’m sick of this caitlin!”

you two had been going back and forth for a while about this, both too stubborn to admit who was in the right and who was in the wrong.

it’d been two months since caitlin went first pick in the wnba draft. two months of caitlin continuously forgetting about your date nights, two months of caitlin lagging hours on end and then eventually responding to your messages with one word replies, two months of wondering if caitlin would be home from practice at a decent hour or if you’d go to sleep in a cold, empty bed.

two. fucking. months.

of course, you understood the fact that caitlin’s job required almost all of her undivided attention and you were extremely proud of her and all her accomplishments.

but being second priority to her job was taking a toll on your mental health.

you were tired of being alone all the time. the sacrifices you made, picking up everything and moving to indiana with caitlin to be with her, felt pretty fruitless when you had barely seen her in your own apartment.

caitlin’s response came low at first as she rubbed her temples, “what do you want me to do?” and then she repeated it louder, throwing her arms up in frustration, “what do you want me to do?!”

“i want you to be here! you’re never here anymore, caitlin! i’m alone ALL THE TIME now!”

“that’s not fair. i’m doing this for us! for— for you!”

you shook your head, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “no. no. not for me. this is what you wanted! you wanted this! i didn’t—��

“i didn’t ask you to move to indiana with me!”

the statement felt like a slap to the face. caitlin, of all people, knew how hard of a decision it was to move to indiana. to be away from your family. your sister, your parents.

caitlin never pressured you into it, of course. she was insistent that if you had decided to stay in iowa, you’d make long distance work. but when you ultimately decided to stay with, whom you thought was the love of your life, caitlin couldn’t of been more happier.

the two of your popped a bottle of champagne in celebration and spent the night talking, laughing, planning your futures together.

a bittersweet memory that seemed so distant at the moment.

as you narrowed your eyes, you felt a tear roll down your cheek, followed by three or two more. “you know what, caitlin? you’re right. you didn’t ask. but it was a sacrifice i was willing to make for you!”

“you’re not the only one making sacrifices—“

the mere start of the sentence had you letting out a laugh, putting your hands behind your head as you paced back and forth. “you’re not listening.”

“i am listening—“

“no! you’re hearing me but you’re not listening to me!”

silence fell upon the two of you, both contemplating your next words because you both knew you guys were pretty close to crossing lines that couldn’t be uncrossed.

you placed your hands on the counter, leaning on it while hanging your head low, letting the tears drop onto the floor. “i can’t do this anymore,” you finally let out in a small whisper, but it hit caitlin in the gut. “i don’t want a life where i spend more time waiting for you than being with you.”

“you don’t mean that. please baby, stop.” caitlin’s warm hands were suddenly around your waist, leaning her head on your shoulder and kissing softly. “let’s just go to bed, yeah? i promise, i promise things will be different, okay? i’ll make more of an effort. i’ll try and get home on time for dinner. i know things aren’t easy right now, but i can’t lose you. we’ll figure it out, i’ll— i’ll try harder. okay?”

but even when those words eased your mind a little, you both knew the promise wouldn’t be kept.

so it wasn’t really a shock to you when you sat at the dinner table, candles lit and your meal sitting in front of you with the empty chair across from you.

you cooked caitlin’s favorite meal, wore her favorite set underneath your clothes that was her favorite color. you looked at the clock, and when it read 10:30, you scoffed.

you were fed up. you were well over your boiling point.

and, so, when caitlin entered your guys’ apartment at midnight, her heart ached a little at the sight of your untouched meals at the table, and candle she assumed was lit at one point.

she rubbed a hand over her face, quickly walking to your shared room. then she froze in her spot.

your side of the room was empty. from your nightstand being stripped of its decorations, to your side of the closet being completely empty.

the suitcases you used for when you guys planned vacations were gone. along her your toothbrush, makeup, hair products, basically everything that made your shared apartment shared was gone.

caitlin wasted no time picking up her phone and clicking your contact, holding the phone to her ear. she anxiously waited, suddenly feeling as if her whole life was falling apart.

voicemail. she tried seven more times. all went straight to voicemail.

her mind immediately went straight to denial, there was no way you picked up and left, right? you always said you would, but caitlin never believed you. never truly believed you.

or maybe she just didn’t listen to you.

she snatched her keys from the table, leaving the apartment and shutting the door loudly behind her. she bet all her money that her neighbors hated her.

that’s how she ended up in her car, speeding down the highway on a rainy night, frantically calling all of your shared friends.

she started with your mom, driving down the road at 90 miles an hour and switching lanes like an absolute maniac. she’d gotten honked at at least four times already.

“caitlin.” your mom greeted, though judging by her cold and and distant tone, and her use of caitlin’s full name instead of cait, caitlin could tell the news had no doubt got back to her.

“do you know where she is, mrs. l/n?” her question came right off the bat, figuring she had no time to waste in finding you.

your mom’s answer was quiet. and caitlin learned your families habits quickly enough to know that when she went quiet, she was lying. “please—“

“i’m afraid i can’t speak with you now, goodbye caitlin.”

then the line went dead.

with her left hand on the steering wheel, she punched the middle with her right and threw her head back.

her next call was kate because you three all had been very close throughout your iowa college years. kate always understood you in a way that made caitlin jealous.

and for a while, she she was a topic of argument in your relationship because caitlin constantly needed reassurance that she was the one you wanted.

there was clearly a rift in caitlin and kate’s friendship after, but after the move to indiana, they seemed to be mending their friendship. until now.

kate answered on the first ring with a hard question. “what’d you do, clark?”

“kate, i— i fucked up. she’s gone. i don’t know where she went. her stuff’s gone, her clothes are gone, she’s gone.”

“damn it, caitlin. you always do this shit— you drove her away, again.“

“do you know where she is?” caitlin demanded, arriving to her first destination.

“no.”

“you’re lying.”

“no i’m not—“

“i should’ve figured you wouldn’t help me find her. you’ve always been pathetically in love with her, ever since college.” caitlin scoffed out bitterly.

“caitlin—“

“know what? no. you’ve always been on her side, since day one. i can’t even do this right now—“

“you’re frustrated with yourself, about driving y/n away, so your picking a fight with me.” kate spoke calmly, fueling caitlin’s anger.

“don’t fucking psycho analyze me, right now martin.” with that she abruptly ended the call, getting out of the car and walking into the ice cream shop the both of you loved dearly.

after that, she went to your favorite coffee shop, after that, nalyssa’s apartment, then aliyah’s, then the hotel near your apartment.

she held her face in her hands, finally letting the sobs ripple through her. she suddenly realized how under appreciated your voice was. she was forgetting how sweet it was, how beautiful it was when you hummed her to sleep.

she was forgetting your voice already.

and she realized that she should’ve fought harder. should’ve told you how much she loved you, cherished you, needed you.

maybe, just maybe, if she had done that, you wouldn’t be gone.

safe to say caitlin didn’t find you that night, and no one told her where you might’ve went.

[plutoleah]

Rockstar Revelation

Chapter 2

[Male reader-insert, amab, masturbation, reader is mistaken as a woman but doesn't correct anyone. Andrew x Male reader.]

"Andrew I didn't know that you knew how to play the electric guitar. Can you play that again? I think I have some lyrics that can go with that." Y/N smiles while Andrew nods and begins to play the same chords. Y/N waits a few seconds, trying to get into the beat, and then begins singing. "I don't know what I am, but I want you to show me. I don't want to have the capacity to feel lonely. I want you to destroy me, so I'll feel better. I don't wanna leave this moment ever, ever, ever. I wanna leave this world with you. I wanna become something better with you. I wanna fuck our bodies into broken shells. I wanna lose ourselves forever. I wanna put you in my mouth. I wanna crush you in my jaws. I wanna" Y/N stops singing after realizing what she sang and seeing Andrew looking at her.

"Sorry, I got a little into it." Y/N rubs the back of her neck, feeling a little embarrassed. "Wow, that was wow." Andrew's face looks shocked and amazing. He then brings a knuckle to his mouth and starts nervously biting it, a habit he usually has. "What's wrong?" Y/N walked closer to him.

"Nothing," Andrew responded quickly as he backed away from Y/N. "It's just that I was wondering if you want to join me for dinner." Andrew bit down on his finger so hard that blood drew out of it. "Sure, I don't mind; I've only been eating takeout, so it would be nice to eat a home-cooked meal for once," Y/N smiles, trying to reassuring Andrew. "Oh, really?" Andrew sighs out in relief. "Well, um, you know where I live, so um, I'll text you when the food is almost finished." Andrew has to stop himself from jumping up and down. "I'll see you later," Y/N smiles as Andrew walks out.

|When Andrew gets home|

"Ashley, get your ass up and help me cook," Andrew yells as he walks into the shared room. "Can't we just eat takeout?" Ashley groans as she rolls over to look at him. "Where the hell have you been?" Ashley gets up to interrogate her brother. "None of your fucking business," Andrew pushes past her to put down his guitar and then walks to the kitchen. "We have a guest, so help me cook," Andrew says, tying his hair back. "Oh my god, is it another bitch you met and also no slut you've been with liked your cooking, so I don't know what the difference would be now?" Ashley laughs at him, but stops laughing when she sees Andrew coming towards her with a knife.

"For your information, you're the one that always made them spit out the food because you overseasoned it with chili." Andrew traps Ashley against the wall, holding a knife against her neck. "Not my fault; they can't handle a little chili." Ashley wanted to kick and fight her brother, but she was scared he might actually stab her. Andrew then walked away from her to finish cutting the chicken. "So do you want me to-?" Ashley started to speak but got cut off by a glare. She waved him off and went to sit on the couch.

After awhile, the food had finally finished cooking, so he texted Y/N to come over. When Y/N arrived at the house, she rang the doorbell, which Ashley answered due to Andrew being in the bathroom. She eyed Y/N up and down. "So you are?" Ashley looked at Y/N in disgust, even though she knew exactly who was at her door. "Im (stage name), but you can also call me Y/N." Y/N smiled, trying to be as kind as possible. "Hm." She eyed her down again before being pulled by the hair by Andrew to get out of the way.

"Sorry about her, you must've been so hot waiting out here in the heat," Andrew apologized as he let Y/N in. She smiled. "People pleaser," Ashley whispered as she walked to the couch, but almost trips due to Andrew "whore." Andrew then walks towards Y/N and shows her the dining room.

Ashley got up from the couch, practically slitering her body towards the dining table. "You wouldn't want your little sister to starve, would you?" Ashley smiles while sitting next to Y/N. "So what do you like about my brother? Do you like him because of how he looks? Or do you like the way he talks? Or when you're in bed with him. Oh no, wait, its his di-" Ashley gets interrupted in the middle of her sentence due to Andrew kicking her shin. "Shut the fuck up and eat your food." Andrew glares at her. Ashley just glares back.

"Yall two are just the cutest. I used to have fights just like this when I was younger. Y/N completely ignored the context Ashley implied in her rant and ate her food with a smile. Ashley and Andrew just stared at her and then went back to eating. After everyone was done eating, Ashley went into her room while Andrew and Y/N talked. "I had a nice time. I think your sister is nice, just a little weird." Y/N smiled, and Andrew laughed. "Weird is the right word, I guess." Andrew rolled his eyes, recounting the crazy things his sister has done in the past. Y/N then leaned on Andrew and then titled her head up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank's again," Y/N stepped back. "I'll call you when I get home." Y/N smiled and waved as she walked away. Feeling proud, he smiled to himself, doing something so ballsy that he was feeling a little mischievous.

When Y/N got home, he washed up and laid down. Tomorrow was the day he would tell Andrew he was a guy. Or maybe just let him find out. Y/N took out his phone and called Andrew, which he answered after a few rings. "Yeah," Andrew answered. "Just calling to tell you I got home safe." Y/N sounds energetic, while Andrew found himself sounding tired and bored, which Y/N noticed. "Oh, shit did I wake you up?" Y/N apologized. "No, no, it's fine. I'm not even sleepy." Andrew got up from his bed and walked into the living room when he saw Ashley turn and groan.

Andrew and Y/N talked for awhile, so whenever Y/N's voice started to sound more sleepy and sexy to him, he thought he was going crazy and thought he was disgusting for thinking like this, but his body seemed to disagree with him, so when he looked down, he cursed himself. "Andrew you alright, you haven't said anything." Y/N sounds concerned. Andrew responded back quickly to reassure her, but while he was talking to her, he quickly took off his pants, covering the sound with his voice. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

Andrew and Y/N talked for awhile, so whenever Y/N's voice started to sound more sleepy and sexy to him, he thought he was going crazy and thought he was disgusting for thinking like this, but his body seemed to disagree with him, so when he looked down, he cursed himself. "Andrew you alright, you haven't said anything." Y/N sounds concerned. Andrew responded back quickly to reassure her, but while he was talking to her, he quickly took off his pants, covering the sound with his voice. He knew what he was doing was wrong.

As Y/N started talking again, Andrew took his cock into his hand. All he could do was picture Y/N, her soft hands stroking him to completion, and her lips that would kitty lick the head of his cock, teasing him. The tension in his body built as he stroked himself faster as their conversation went on. "And they just kept cheering for me; it felt amazing," Y/N recounted. The sound of her voice was so nice. Andrew could feel it—the heat spreading through his body—but honestly, it went straight to his dick.

In a few quick motions, Andrew was reaching his peak. Andrew shoved his face into the couch and let out muffled moans as he came. Andrew stroked himself until he felt the right amount of sensitivity. He pulled up his pants, instantly regretting what he had just done.

"So, Andrew, do you want to go to the mall with me tomorrow?" Y/N asked while smiling at his phone, hoping to see Andrew outside work again. "Sure," Andrew answered out of breath. After Andrew got off call with Y/N, he went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face as he stared at himself in the mirror. "I can't believe I just fucking did that." Andrew pulled his eyelids down. "And I have to fucking see her tomorrow." Andrew splashed more water on his face, then turned off the faucet, turned off the light in the bathroom, and went to bed with his head in his pillow.

[scornedserendipity]

I. Bobby's (Winchester x Younger Sibling)

Summary: Dean goes to check on his little sister at Bobby's before heading out for Sam. He didn't except her to ride a long.

I don't like writing Y/N so deal with an OC that I think adds an interesting twist. She will of course have her own kind of things going on but im going to try and be as true to the plot line as possible. but I hope you enjoy. Help me come up with a title after a few chapters maybe.

Word count: 1.7k and some change.

Jamie Winchester was not an ordinary girl in any sense of the word. She could take a car apart and put it back it together like she made it herself. She could cook something out of nothing every time and definitely take over the world if she tried.. She could also decapitate damn near anything that stood in her way and no matter how much she tried, she always knew what the people around her were feeling, and Dean was not feeling the best. He was anxious and stressed, maybe a little scared. 

“I don’t know Dean, Sam was pretty adament about not hunting anymore. I think he’ll punch you if you even mention it to him.” She said in response to her brother as she reached for her wrench.

Dean sighed and picked it up, handing it to his little big sister. He couldn’t help but get sentimental. Remebering the times she would sit on the edge of the car while Dad taught him how to fix them. She definentaly picked that up.

“Yeah…but we can’t do it just me and you. You have school and he won’t want to be gone for more than a couple days.”

“Actually, I graduated last summer. You would know if you made it and Sam has a girlfriend. They live together pretty sure.” 

“Wait, you talked to Sam?” Dean asked with raised eyebrows as his kid sister turned to face him, taking a giant gulp of her lemonade. She passed it to Dean and he accepted.

“Well yeah, He’s my brother and he is about to graduate. Bobby won’t let me drive his truck but he said if I fixed one of the cars up I could have it. You think I’d be out here in the heat otherwise?” She said as she grabbed a rag and wiped the grase off her hands.

“Right.”

“Dean, you never call and you sure as hell never pick up. Just like Dad, I swear.” She said rolling her eyes and walking away. Dean sighed and followed his sister into Bobby’s. Him and Dad had dropped her off so she could finish her last year of school without any inturuptions.

“Hey James Dean.” A joke Bobby had when he learned the kids names and just as siblings do, they greeting him at the same time unintentionally. Jamie rolled her eyes again.

“Bobby, I have work in an hour. Could you dig up a new belt for me?” Jamie asked as she throughly washed her hands and face in the kitchen sink.

“yeah, i have some around here somewhere. How have you been Dean?” Bobby asked, grabbing two beers from the fridge and handing Jamie a rag. She thanked him and leaned on the counter.

“I’ve been good Bobby, nothing too seerious. But Dad’s been on a hunting trip and hasn’t been back in two weeks. I’m getting worried.” Dean said. 

There is was. What was nagging at her brother’s brain.

“Why didn’t you start with that Dean? My answer would have been totally different!” She piped up before Bobby could respond.

“Well, because I didn’t want you using your mumbo jumbo crap on me and trying to convicne me not to go looking for him!”

“Hey, I’ve changed a lot in the past year! I’ve even been on my own hunts!” She said. immedietly regretting saying what she just said. She looked at Bobby who looked away. They had an agreement after all. 

“What the hell did you just say?” Dean said, standing up. Like everytime before, everything was always a yelling match at some point.

“Nothing, I have to get ready for work!” jamie said, running up the stairs and to her room. She locked the door and slid down. 

“Fuck. i’ll never hear the end of it.” She muttered to herself. She couldn’t even imagine what would happen if Dad found out, but she was almost 18. She wouldn’t have to worry about that for a while, not till they found him at least. She sighed. She liked her job, at the local market just a general associate but it helped out, especially with her car. 

She pulled out her phone. remembering when her dad gave it to her. Already opened and preprogramed with his, Dean, Sam, Bobby’s, and even her Mom’s last known phone number. She had added to the contact last since and a few charms on the end. She searched through her contacts for her boss and called him. 

“Jamie, how are you?” Her boss said.

“Hey Carl. I know this is a really bad time but I have to quit.” She said. She felt really bad because Carl had ben really good to her. Giving her a job and any hours he could. “Some really important family issue came up.”

“Well, it is an hour before your shift. I’ll be a cool manager and cover since you’ve been working so hard. I’m gonna miss you Jamie. You’ll always have a shift here at the store. Best of luck with your family.” 

“Thank you for being so understanding Carl, and I appriciate everything you’ve done for me this past year. Bye.” She hung up and looked at her room. It used to belong to Bobby’s daughters, but when Dad had asked him to house her for a while he couldn’t say no. She knew that she made Bobby feel better just by being there. She felt bad for having to leave but he would understand.

Jamie stood up and quickly packed her things. Over the years she had gotten good at making it quick. Always laid things out in the order in case Dad rushed in and screamed at her to pack. 

She could still hear Dean downstairs. He could feel his intentions of interrogating her build in his gut. She grabbed a towel and jumped into the shower. She contemplated the choice she was making. The Family Business. She always saw herself as a solo hunter in her adulthood. Worked part-time jobs as she guarded unsuspecting towns against what went bump in the night. Just like her family, just not with them. It was like the military sometimes. Always on the move, always ready to run at any second. She loved her family and they loved her as far as she could tell. None of them knew how to feel about her being a legit empath but she knew somewhere along the lines they accepted and came to see it as an asset. 

Empathy. A curse in her eyes. Supposedly a powerful mental gift was passed down by her mother who was a psychic and wanted nothing to do with her. Only Sam related to her feeling different. they never spoke about it more than two or three times in their life, the most right before Sam left. Dad did his best to never treat her differently but he had no idea how to raise a kid with physcic abiltites, but he did his best. She always knew he did his best. Dean, he was always harder to read more blocked off with those emotions.

She finished her shower, put on some clothes and grabbed her duffle. Racing downstairs and back to the dining room where her brother and uncle still sat. 

“Hey, where are you going?” Bobby asked.

“With my brother, to find my Dad.” She said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She went to the fridge and grabbed a soda and a road beer for Dean.

“No way, it will be way to dangerous,” Dean said standing up and confronting his little sister.

“and what about your job?” Bobby asked. 

“I quit. I am a Winchester, not a clerk. We need to go get Sam and we need to find Dad.” She said, staring up at him, another thing she inherited. Her very own Winchester Stare.

On her way out the back door she gave Bobby a quick peck on the cheek. “Bye Bobby. I’ll call you when we get Sam.” She said.

“oh uhm Okay. I guess? Teenagers.” He said with a sigh as he got up and grabbed another beer.

“Bobby you’re just gonna let her go!?” Dean asked.

“Hey you heard her. Plus, she has made some major improvments since you guys left her here. After she graduated she hit the lore hard. She wants to do everything she can to help you guys hunt that demon and find her mom. You can’t blame her. She is you’re sister!”

“We left her here so she could get away from this life! Not go out on her own!”

“I didn’t even know she was till she called me covered in vamp blood. I’ve seen it, she is as ready as she will ever be.”

The conversation was broken up by the Impala’s car alarm. Dean tried to keep talking but the horn began to blow. Jamie, always the one to pinch Dean’s nerves.

“This isn’t over Bobby,” he said as he made his way outside. He was missing how Bobby rolled his eyes. He could only chuckle at how much like their Dad they were. 

“Alright enough!” Dean shouted. Turning off the alarm and getting into the driver’s seat. Jame had already made herself comfortable in the passenger.

“This will be fun, I never get to ride shotgun.” She said, already combing through Dad’s cassettes for her mixtape.

“Jamie.” Dean said as he watched his sister. He knew she knew what he was going to ask and that he didn’t even need to.

Jamie sighed. “I know. I shouldn’t be hunting. But Dean! Just after Sam left I thought you guys would finally take me seriously. Dad taught me the same stuff after all, but it didn’t change one bit. “Stay in the car Jamie in case we have to run. Shoot anything that moves.” and then you guys left me here after the vampire in Omaha i just. i don’t want to be the only Winchester who can’t do her job.” She rambled. 

“Dad’s gonna be pissed.” Dean said looking forward.

“We can cross that bridge when we find him.” She said, popping open the beer she had grabbed for Dean and handing it to him and opening her cream soda. Dean chuckled. 

“You remembered?” Dean asked. Their tradition. A beer and a cream soda. 

“Of course!” She said as Dean turned the engine over and cheered with his little sister. “Just wait till it’s a beer!” She said. 

"Don't push it. You're still my little sister."

-

and scene. hope u like it. follow for more

[astrosxxz]

Not even gonna say ANYTHING becuz of the fact I'm also writing this sleep deprived & half adleep AGAIN!!!

This is a remake of the other 1, where I wrote it as two characters w a s/o YOUNGER, but in the request it said OLDER... Atushi & Akutagawa (seperate) x reader

No warnings.

9 years ago gap.. hes 20, you're 29,

At first, he didn't know how to really do relationships like this in general,

He always thought it was weird seeing age gap couples, but when he saw you..

He fell second, BUT HARDER

At first he refused to believe he loved you, and would call you 'disrespectful' names regarding your age😭

"Old hag"

"Depressed Emo."

Back and FORTH bro,

You may be older than most and seen as a mother figure by a lot of people,

But you grew up w/ sass & attitude

If someone insults you, you insult them back

Even though your insults kinda suck its okay!!

He grew up being naturally afraid of older people, growing up mostly in the slums & the mafia, old people weren't always the greatest

And adding that onto the fact you're more of a physical person, holding hands, hugs, etcetc,

He never thought you guys would get together at all,

And so he pushed the feelings down until one day, you decided to tell him you're own feelings instead of waiting

"I love you"

"Oh." OH.

Literally didn't know how to respond,

Also did I mention how you will sometimes be 'shipped' with older people,

Lets say you work in the ADA, THEY SHIP U W RANPO OR EVEN YOSANO

Akutagawa got so pissed about it

He would've walked straight into the mf agency if it wasn't for you telling him not to

"I'm gonna kill them." "AKU NO---"

"Whos she, your older sister?" "Shes my wife." "Yea, im his- wait what"

You're 25, hes 18, 7years

Sometimes people think you're his adopted mother due to how concerned you act whenever hes hurt, but really you guys are dating.

It sometimes makes both of you uncomfortable with people comparing your relationship with a mother and son one,

But you guys learned to ignore it and move along with your day,

He sometimes thinks about the fact that you're probably gonna die before him, and he gets so scared

"I'm not gonna die so soon sushi..." "But what if---" "No."

Atsushi is incredibly shy, & often overthinks, ESPECIALLY when it comes to you,

He sometimes thinks about the fact that maybe you should date some one you're own age, like yosano or ranpo, or even kunikida!

"No sushi, I love YOU, not them"

I can imagine you viewing Kyoka as a daughter figure to you, and so you basically steal her and beg atsushi to adopt her

You're lowkey REALLY fucking rich..?

You'll sometimes give him hundreds of dollars just because,

"Sushi! Here---!" "[name], why did you just hand me 296,556 yen.." "296,556? I thought I gave you more.."

Andddd, theres the end. !!<33

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: IS IT JUST ME OR DO CORDELIA AND LUCIE AS PARABATAI NOT MAKE ANY SENSE LIKE ITS SO RUSHED AND IM NOT SORRY BUT MY PSA ARE GETTING SO LONG EACH TIME I JUST HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS TO SHARE OK????????

’ll never understand why Lucie and Cordelia become parabatai. how good friends are they really? we know Cordelia and Lucie hung out a few times (??????) and wrote letters to each other but how well do they know each other?

“But you could have told me. I could never have pitied you, Lucie I bought, bewildered. She didn’t mind that Cordelia had been in love with James- but the lying, the hiding….. she wished it didn’t bother her but it did.” -Lucie responding to Cordelia’s secret

(which is ironic of Lucie to think because this is the same bitch who hid herself working with grace from Cordelia to save Jesse lmao and deep down, she probably knew Cordelia wouldn’t of been okay with it)

Cordelia had gone a sickly color. “How could you not tell me that?”, she whispered. “You were going to go ahead with the ceremony, then, without warning me? What if something bad happened to you during it?- what if the ghosts meant harm?” - Cordelia responding to Lucies secret

“Did you know the difference when you chose to secretly befriend Grace behind my back, and never tell me about it at all?”-cordelias anger to Lucie about teaming up with grace to bring back Jesse from the dead

“I didn’t know how much my working with her would hurt you”, Lucie said. “I doubt James knew either. You never let on that you felt anything for him. You- you’re so proud, Cordelia.”- lucies rebuttal to Cordelia when she comes back from Paris

so I’ve posted four different arguments or statements from Lucie and Cordelia over the issues they’ve had. Cordelia didn’t tell Lucie she was in love with James. why the pity game? I DONT KNOW BUT I HATE THAT BLOODY WORD. honestly Lucie is right. Cordelia is way too proud, as is James. I’m sorry but I don’t get this whole “if I told you I love your brother, you would pity me.” but back in chain of gold, Cordelia likes the fact that they could be sisters in law and even thinks James may actually love her. so I don’t really understand this whole pity thing.

I think the reason Cordelia didn’t want anyone to know was that she then found out about Grace and thought people may in a way pity her since everyone assumed grace and James were in love.

moving on to Lucie seeing ghosts. I can see why Lucie didn’t share it because Cordelia made a whole fairy tale thing about how Lucie lives in fantasy world and they can’t be parabatai? I get why she didn’t say anything and by then, they were passed not giving a fuck about communicating. should she have said something? yes but it’s not like these two are bffs

there is no reason these two should be parabatai. they don’t communicate for starters. there’s too much drama and miscommunication. CC presents parabatai as being closer than brothers but not as close as lovers so wouldn’t you think that soon to be parabatai should be telling each other stuff?

like what bad would it have done if Lucie said “hey Cordelia, I know you don’t like grace but I’m using her help to bring a ghost back to life that I have cared for. please keep this between us. he means a lot to me.”

and why couldn’t Cordelia say “Lucie, I understand and I will keep it between us because I know you wouldn’t do anything to harm me on purpose. if you have feelings for this ghost, I support you. also I do not care for grace because I am in love with your brother and have been.”

mayhap Lucie could then say “oh James is such a buffoon! how could he not see what is in front of him? thank you for trusting me Cordelia”

y’all can critique my summary all you want 😭 (I tried ok?) but I don’t really see any harm in sharing the secrets they had? because maybe if they did or had some honest convos, and actually grew, I could see why they deserve to be parabatai. but I haven’t seen anything from their relationship that shows they should be. they don’t communicate, they keep every secret to themselves because god forbid someone pities or hates them, and they’re basically strangers towards the end.

Lucie even says in pov during the edom thing if she really knows Cordelia? and I think Cordelia thinks the same thing at another time. these two question if they know each other. parabatai don’t have to be perfect but they should have some sort of bond. and I don’t think they should be questioning if they know their friend at all. when it comes to the parabatai bond, CC is incompetent when forming it.

1. Alec does everything for jace while jace treats Alec like absolute shit. Alec can’t form his own thoughts or feelings without thinking about jace. -CC who thinks everyone loves jace

2. Will is nothing without Jem. like if you take Jem out of the equation, Will is an absolute monster but put jem into the equation, hmmmm maybe this dick can be tolerated for a second. Will is only tolerable because of Jem. but also never forgiving Will and Tessa for fucking right after they get notification Jem has died. -CC who thinks Tessa settling for Jem and waiting for him to die so then Tessa can have Will is the best of both worlds apparently

3. Emma and Julian- not even touching that. I’m so tired and over the unforbidden trope CC is obsessed with. it’s old

4. Matthew and James- James was prisoned by a bloody bracelet and Matthew kept the fairy potion a secret from everyone and ends up turning to alcohol. this is kinda harder to criticize because they are both being prisoned by their own thing. Matthew didn’t have to turn to the potion but belial would’ve found a way to torment James. so I don’t know if he could’ve got out of that. could’ve just told Tatiana no to cutting briars or told his parents on her lmao so as much as I want to like this bond, matthews feelings get pushed to the side and golden herondale steals the spotlight once again smh. James and his feelings take a front seat while Matthew is apologizing for feeling anything and his arc is nonexistent (JUST MY OPINION I DONT WANT NO SMOKE 💨)

in conclusion, these two should not have been parabatai. honestly most of these pairs shouldn’t be. they didn’t really have anything in common or anything that linked a strong powerful bond. I see Thomas and Christopher being more of a parabatai than any of these pairs. even Gabriel and Gideon. these siblings or family members actually speak to each other and work through their shit. Cordelia and Lucie “bonding” together didn’t work at all and felt super rushed. but that’s what happens when you waste hundreds of pages on miscommunication lmao

[reminiscentreader]

Love your fics!😩 Can u write one where there is an event the Hawthornes+Avery have to attend but they haven’t left the house cuz Grayson is late and everyone is confused, and then one of his brothers come to check on him in his room only to find out he’s asleep cuz he’s feeling sick, and then that brother stays with him??😭

Thank you for being so patient! I’ve been wanting to write this for a while but I’ve been really busy 😭

Anyways hope you enjoy xx

_________________________________________

Jameson

The annual Hawthorne gala, Hundreds of important rich people from al over the world coming to see the Hawthorne heiress, my Hawthorne heiress. I watch as Avery slips on her deep green dress, it fits her perfectly, she is perfect, “Jamie,” I sit up a little straighter, “zip me up will you?” I make my way off our bed and towards her “of course heiress.” After I zip up her dress I rest my hands on her shoulders and tuck my head into the crook of her head, “you look so beautiful tonight heiress” I reach my hand out to stroke down her braid, “I love you” Avery leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head, “I love you too.”

Grayson

I feel awful. I don’t ever get sick but right now I feel like curling into a ball and dying, I can barely stand up or see and there are tears streaming my face. I hate how vulnerable I’ve made myself, I’m ment to be attending the annual gala for goodness sake, so if I don’t sort myself out in the next five minutes, I’m fucked. I desperately try to make my way to the bathroom but I’m hopelessy stumbling around, tears blurring my vision. What would the old man say if he saw me now? Your letting yourself get sick Grayson? Hawthornes don’t get sick. They are fighters. We don’t let anything get in the way. Kill yourself tobias, is what I would’ve probably thought if he wasn’t already dead.

I don’t know how long I’ve had my head stuck in this toilet for, violently vomiting to the point of passing out, I suddenly feel light headed, maybe I should get some sleep, maybe I should take a break from work? No. Weak.

weak.

weak.

weak.

weak.

weak….

Nash

I clap my hands to get everyone’s attention, “Right ya’ll, everyone here ready to go?” 7 heads nod back at me, “alright let’s head to the car room.” About five minutes into walking Avery exclaims, “Grayson, Have you got the papers we need?” Nobody responds. “G-Grayson?” Everyone starts to look around murmuring, “Now where the hell ‘as Gray gone.” I say looking for him in the crowd of people following me, “Jesus Christ, did anyone see him come out?” Again in response I get a couple of murmurs, “Nobody?” They all shake there heads, “Guess I’ll go find him then.”

After walking all the way back to the house, I was starting to wonder if Grayson wasn’t even in the state, maybe he went to go visit his sister or something, nah, I know gray wouldn’t miss this if he was half dying. I’d stopped to ask one of the maids if they’d seen him, “M-mister Hawthorne hasn’t been out of his wing all day.” I quickly thanked her with the tip of my hat and headed towards graysons wing.

so here I am, stood outside graysons wing I’ve already knocked five times, five times with no response, “GRAYSON DAVENPORT HAWTHORNE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR IN 5 SECONDS IM KNOCKING IT DOWN.” No response. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.., still nothing, I know how much grayson hates privacy invaders, but it’s for his own safety, he could be dead in there for fucks sake. So Nash kicked down the door.

Grayson

the first thing I heard when I woke up was the bang of what I assumed to be someone kicking down my door, I tried to pull myself up, to see who it was, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything without it hurting, the next thing I saw was Nash standing at the bathroom door, “oh gray” Nash knealed down to my level and pushed a bit of hair that had fell into my eyes away, “what’s up?” I only grunted in response, I didn’t trust myself, “ok gray let’s get you into bed.” He helped me up, I was shaking so badly, I was tired, so so so tired. I fell asleep almost immediately, I heard Nash pull up a chair next to my bed and say something like, “Get some rest gray, please.” He helped me into my bed and the minute my head hit the pillow I fell fast asleep.

—————————————————————

Nash stayed with Grayson that night, and when his brothers arrived home, he did not tell them what had happened, he simply let them guess, when Grayson woke up, he did take a break from work. The night Grayson Hawthorne missed the annual Hawthorne gala, would become a secret between the two oldest Hawthornes, that the others would never found out about.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><> I am so so so sorry for how long this took 😭 I really hope you enjoyed it ❤️❤️

[sburbian-sage]

Howdy there! Im a Knight of Blood, and a human, in the same session as those cherubs!

The sister went a bit cuckoo after she smashed her PC, and stayed up a few days in a row without sleepin, runnin from land to land grindin though quests like a maniac. Eventually one of us told her that her message went through on yer blog and youd responded, and she lost it even more when she read it.

But, ya know what? It actually worked out real well! I guess she hates ya more than her brother now, and that lets her manage to get through a conversation with him without losin it, knowin that he aint the *worst* person around.

Course, all the rest of us think yer pretty great. I think this coulda been a real nightmare of a session. To hear her tell it, all ya did was insult her, but I think she took some of yer points it to heart, even if she wont admit it. ;)

She and her bro still aint getting along all THAT well mind, and shes still a rough around the edges but were all putting in an effort, and I think shes startin to get it.

Anyway, shes too mad to talk to ya, and hes too embarrassed about draggin ya into this to wanna keep doin it. But I thought itd be real rude to not tell ya why they went quiet, and how all that hullabaloo ended.

…Also, im sure shes just talkin, but she says shes gonna hunt ya down out there. Not sure how shed do THAT, and im not sure if shes for real about wantin ya dead or just has some kind hatecrush on ya now (not sure how that works), and I think shes commin around anyway so I doubt shed really kill ya even if she thinks she means it, but figured id warn ya just in case she figures it out some day.

Oh dang! The Cherub Saga comes to its thrilling conclusion. Or at least it does for now, until I meet my own thrilling conclusion when I wake up with a knife in my back, apparently.

First of all, let this diplomatic powerball of an extended online social incident stand in defiance of everyone who ever told me that I'm "so horrendous at people skills and considering the feelings of others that I want to pin you down and peel you" or "good at giving advice as long as you stay away from anything interpersonal". Second, I'm glad not only to have been vindicated, but also to hear that things are going a bit better on their end. The power of friendship, while powerful, is ultimately contextual, but the power of hatred (and offloading all of your personal frustrations onto someone you've never met) is very potent and the time for using it is always.

Jokes (not jokes) aside, I am glad to hear that things are smoothing out for everyone involved over there. The only thing I can advise on now is not to "force" anything vis a vis getting along with people. Partially because that never works ever, partially because it will double-not work with her in particular, but mostly because there's a common tragic pitfall with situations like these. Someone will be a little rude, or unpleasant, or have a glaring personality flaw. It causes them problems with people in their lives, and so they take steps to improve. And then they become immensely fucking boring and uninteresting.

All I'm saying is that if ever she logs back on and checks out my blog again (probably while throwing knives at a dartboard with a picture of my face on it), all I'm saying is that less brother-murder/sublimation is good, I'm ambivalent towards the me-murder, and

I'm glad to hear the brother is doing fine as well. If he's avoiding contact for my sake, I'd say "don't bother, I can deal", but I appreciate the concern at least. My advice to him is that he should also sparkle on, and he's welcome back anytime.

[steinwayandhissons]

right so i finally have time to sit down and gather my thoughts - today and yesterday were so chaotic and im running on 4 hours of sleep after doing my grade 8 music theory exam today back in london (probably not a good idea in hindsight but oh well) - sorry in advance for the super long post

oh my god this was one of the most surreal, incredible experiences of my life - it was my first ever gig (other than classical music concerts which are a very different experience!) so everything seemed a bit alien (like the waiting times between acts - that shits long af)

first of all, why was the journey 100x more stressful than the exam i had that morning? i hate british trains - a couple of close calls, a cancelled one 😡 but luckily we made it, bought the merch (poster + tshirt - they were extortionate but im a sucker so i let them take my money) and started queuing (also stressful)

we got in and rushed to the front - we were pretty close, but not right at the barrier, had to ask to swap places with some tall people cos im short and waited

finally the mysterines came on, i listen to their music so i knew the songs they played - they were amazing, but the crowd was kinda dead at that point. the hives were also incredible, you could tell they’d been in showbusiness for a while - the crowd interaction and stage presence was crazy and the crowd definitely responded more enthusiastically

then the main course: it was wild as soon as they walked out the crowd went berserk - during the whole concert they were deafening we were all screaming the lyrics and the riffs i could barely hear the monkeys at times, even during the ‘less popular’ songs it was still very loud (although less loud than the popular ones🤨)

a really cute moment in crying lightning after the solo when he mouthed ‘i just made that up’

they played ritz!!!! oh man singing the dadadadadas back to them was unreal, he got really into the instrumental bit, also at the end of the song he swung his guitar like a golf bat

during 4/5 he blew a kiss to the crowd after singing ‘the only time that we stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss’ and gestured to jamie like a gentleman who went centre stage for the outro

there was also a little beef going on next to us where a lady and her obnoxious son started pushing people cos they spilled their drinks, but they got reported and left 😬

mardy bum and fluo made me tear up, i was just basking in the feeling that i was there seeing them in person after all this time following the setlists and each of the concerts virtually and I WAS ACTUALLY THERE at one of the shows like the ones i tracked

there was a beautiful piano interlude before high - i think he was singing “im fucking warmed up now” with a little giggle it was very cute also his voice 🙏 ascending to the heavens

perfect sense was PERFECT! he got out the acoustic and me and my sister were both sobbing my heart couldn’t take it - i posted a video where you can definitely hear a sniff and some cry-singing

when the mirrorball came down during mirrorball i literally lifted my hands and praised the gods for whoever was responsible for creating this man and this band, and they kept it for 505 (he did the neck thing!)

oh my god the body paint outro was fucking insane i was literally standing there in awe as they went off

also after they left before the encore i was terrified they weren’t going to play sculptures cos that’s what happened at i think the last gig so me and my sister were literally manifesting and praying and THEY DID!!!! in the video i took you can literally hear me saying holy shit and celebrating (should i post it and do a voice reveal… also if i do post it you can hear me singing along at the beginning it sounds so bad i swear normally i can sing in tune but i literally could not hear myself it was so powerful)

finally dancefloor and r u mine were bangers, crowd went crazy again

it was funny that you could instantly recognise the tiktok fans by the difference between when 505 played vs mirrorball for example. there was also this tall guy who was standing next to us and slowly started migrating in front of us during the course of the show and he was just there didn’t sing along to any songs didn’t put his arms in the air - the contrast between me screaming all the lyrics to pretty visitors (yes that was my time to shine) and him just standing there 🤷‍♀️ like that’s embarrassing at this point could never be me

also regarding the people who didn’t like how they couldn’t sing along because alex slows the tempo this is absolutely fucking false - he plays with the tempo slightly towards the ends of songs or the ends of sections, which was actually very tastefully done but other than that the tempo was very constant - some songs like teddy picker and pretty visitors were actually even faster than their studio versions

also i was on the tube on my way back and overheard this guy say to someone else that he looked younger than alex (he was 43) - this guy was balding, with greying hair and an almighty dad bod and all i remember thinking is ‘not with that hairline you dont’

but oh man all of them were showstopping - matt truly is an agile beast on the drums, jamie’s solos always slapped, nick was perfect as usual - i was sad i couldn’t see him much from the other side but his blue trousers 🥰, of course alex 1000000% delivered, he was so commanding and mesmerising to watch, despite not having the ostentatious and flamboyant stage presence of say the hives - there was just something inwardly spellbinding and otherworldly about him

anyway i was completely knackered (standing tickets are no joke!) and i had to get up in less than 5 hours for my exam - was completely dead 👍 but this was a complete and utter dream, id been so excited for over 8 months to see them in person. anyways i never want to see another human being ever again god there were enough people there to last a lifetime

also a bit of a ps - it was a bit weird travelling into london again today, i was listening to my playlist on spotify with headphones and every time an am song came up, i felt a bit sick to my stomach, but not in a bad way, it was just because i was hit with the feeling that nothing could ever compare to seeing them live, and the revelation of ‘oh shit i saw them play this song yesterday irl’ kind of rattled me and the fact that it’ll be a few or even more years when they release a new album and tour again and ill never be able to witness this again until then when im so much older was crushing…..

now that it’s over -> yay post concert depression

again sorry for the long post 😭 xxx

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

no bc i have to tell the story of asking Girl to prom. Is it a particularly interesting story? nah, not really, i didn't do anything big or special, but SHE FUCKING SAID YES so its worth something.

also it was really funny cuz like

i did it after auditions right. bc i knew shed be there and id be there and hey, the nerves could kind of cancel each other out a little right? and they did. a little. but i had my plan: id get her alone, in a moment when she wasnt talking to someone, id go "hey, Girl, i have something to ask you" except use her name obviously and then i'd go for it.

so the whole time at auditions im sitting next to my best friend (who knows everything and helped me make the plan) and my friend Fox (who knows nothing) and when Girl auditions my best friend nudges me and my heart is beating a thousand miles an hour

and then finally it was over and everyone was mingling and getting ready to leave and i was like okay this is my moment but she was talking to someone and then someone else and then someone else blah blah blah and i was waiting, literally sitting on the stage three feet away from her trying not to look like i was waiting, my friend sitting next to me and Fox next to her

friend keeps offering in a hushed tone to distract people talking to her but she never gets the chance even

finally Girl leaves the group shes talking to to grab her bag and i jump up and friend and Fox are still sitting on the stage watching me now and i say "hey, Girl, i have something to ask you" except use her name obviously and then i go for it????

idk i feel like i blacked out. i feel like there was a lot of nervously touching my neck and my hair. i said exactly the script: "well, listen, so, i really like you and i was wondering if you'd want to come to prom with me"

and she looked SHOCKED

there was this blinding moment of FUCK WHAT IS SHE GONNA SAY HOW DO I RESPOND TO EITHER ANSWER

and she said something with oh-my-god involved and some other things and then finally gets to the point and says "YES"

and then i am laughing shakily and she is and im pressing my hands over my mouth and shes all "oh my god im so excited oh my god when is it"

"april 14th" i say

and she's thanking me for asking and what i tried to say was "god no oh my god thank you for SAYING YES" but i dont think i got that out

and then she HUGGED ME ghiowjgiwjgojgwio

and then the large group of her friends who is at this point ready to go and possibly watching i have no idea are like "Girl come on" and shes like oh okay and smiles at me one last time before she leaves

and i return to my seat on the stage in fucking SHOCK my best friend is like YEE YEE YEE YEE LETS GO and Fox is just like what just happened? but yay??????

and then her group goes up the aisle to the back of the auditorium to leave and this is the cutest part i swear, her older sister, the drama club president and part of the group who i think were all carpooling, stopped to ask if the three of us needed rides and for the moment that they all stopped right at the door GIRL WAVED DOWN AT ME SO ADORABLY AND I WAVED BACK AT HER JWOGJIWGJWO

so yeah now im going to prom with, to put it briefly, the most wonderful and gorgeous in every way girl ive ever met. GJWOGJIOWJGIOWJGOKJEGOJGOWI YIPPEEE

[evermeant]

kc rewatches the bear, episode 1.

under the cut are just gonna be my thoguhts and ramblings after rewatching this episode! don't know how coherent they will be but ppl seem to want this so!

lots to say about the little dream sequence that we see at the beginning of the bear. i think giving it one thing to represent is hard, but maybe it's about the grief. bear being carmy's nickname and the bear being the name of the restaurant they wanted to open? idk . just kinda feels like carmy is constantly trying to keep it in a cage, even if he knows it needs to be let out somehow.

love the loud frantic nature of this first episode. love that they throw you right into everything.

i also LOVE how much of a problem solver this episode shows us that carmy is. the fact that he has to get cheaper beef because of the financial situation, not only figures out how the fuck to get more, but he also figures out the exact timing of how he needs to prepare this different cut to make sure everything is ready? idk i love him

his denim!!!!! i forgot we also get to see his closet a little...... the knowledge that he knows about his denim. he has it in his fucking cabinets and his oven and his closet!!! i fucking adore him. he's giving fucking everything for this place. i want to explode

only has ramen in his cabinets as far as food goes. he is such a goober

the constant focus on the clock. feeling like it's watching him. feeling like he's running out of time? idk. IDK!!!

sydney....... MY WIFE!!!!! i love her so dearly. i also love their first meeting? carmy callling out "why tf are you here" and her responding with the exact same question. they truly have the same brain and i love it.

carmy really was the best chef in the whole united states. and i doubt anyone who doesn't have any culinary interest even knows that or believes it LMFAO

"carmen there's a girl" why did that send me

i love the lil banter between everyone that has already worked there. really ups the vibe that all of these people are incredibly close and i know they have been through a FUCK ton together because michael was always fucking shit up.

RICHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do you think richie took over before carmy got in there. because richie talks about "fucking up my system" and i just think-

ok yea richie did i forgot about the "why didnt he leave it to you then" line

also love the idea of richie being like an older brother to carmy (maybe more than michael was? idk man) and like. that being part of why he's so willing to keep richie at arms length because his other older brother hurt him so fucking badly

also........... do not...... do not TALK to me about how carmy cuts the spaghetti . do not FUCKING TOUCH ME. another way he is pushing his brother away. i thikn part of the changes is just him trying to fix things but i think this SPECIFIC one is because he is trying to get away from the pain

"it made you a gayrod" no he's always been bi richie

richie not knowing or not facing how bad the financial situation is. carmy being the only fucking one to face it. i dunno! something about how his family never faces anything and carmy is desperately trying to break that cycle!!

FAK!!!!!!

everyone else trying desperately to hold onto michael by keeping tradition vs carmy trying to get rid of him. no one wanting to deal with their grief. im really fUCKING SAD.

he got rid of the jacket mikey game him :((((((((

THE DRAWING OF THE BEAR RESTURUANT I AM UNWELL!!!!!!!!!

his knife on the floor :(((

mikey flashbacks. i am going to throw myself out of a window i think

SUGAR!!!! i love you sugar :(( i am so sorry you have the two worst brothers known to man. i am kidding. the way that carmy holds her so tight makes me want to explode. he loves his big sister so much.

sugar knowing carmy deserves better than just this run down shop that mikey was struggling to keep afloat. everyone else acting as if he doesn't know what he's doing. but she wants to get him out because she knows how talented he is!!!

"i'm gonna fix this place" "no one is asking you to" SHUT UP!!!!!!!

fak and richie. bromance of the century prove me wrong

carmy unable to relax during family dinner. he is not including himself at all. i dunno!! the fact that he doesn't know how to connect with people! everything about him just says he's scared of people. who can blame him!!!

carmy please stop getting your ass kicked

i forgot how much early season richie makes me angry LMFAO . i love him but. it does make his arc better but. idk the fact that everyone keeps telling carm that he can't do it makes me angry.

marcus you absolute beam of light !!!!!

one other thing i love about the focus on the clock is like. this show is so fast paced and yet so much time goes by in every episode. it truly lets us know how absolutely fucking intense it is to work at the beef

[nebulastarss]

As someone who owns alot of cats do you play favorites? And do they have like sibling or parent dynamics?

Short answer: they all fucking hate each other and love me

Long answer(

Sunny: the first cat we got. He is in my bed 90% of the time, my parents call him my boy and my son. He's like 7 years old and hates everyone else. He will piss on my moms clothes then lay on my side and purr. He used to cuddle with our second cat but now she is only allowed close if he is sleepy and she doesn't touch him. Strangers get hissed at. The kittens get growled at. Sunny doesn't like anyone.

Shadow: queen shit. She's a badass, takes no shit. Used to absolutely dominate when she and Sunny play fought. Our second cat but a few months older than him. She's super fluffy and loves pets but only family is allowed to touch her because it's really easy to create static in her fur, which shocks her. She also hates our younger cats. She used to be my brothers favorite but has moved on to hanging out in my room since he moved out.

Casper: unlike normal cats, this dumbass is not tamed. He is domesticated like a dog. He's also the only one who's figured out how to open cabinets, and continues to try and open doors (he only fails because we have doorknobs) he's absolutely massive and strong as hell with the longest claws, but he's like. Baby. There's no thoughts behind his eyes, he wants nothing but pets. Technically he's an adult like Sunny and Shadow (he's like. 2?) But he sure doesn't act like it. He doesn't actually hate anyone (I don't think he knows how) however he does like chasing Shadow and... sneaking up on Sunnny and using his teeth to pull out his fur??? Maybe it's some kind of boy-cat thing. I dunno, I've only seen him to it once but im not omnipresent. His purr is so low that you can't really hear it, it's more of a rumble, which is funny cuz he's got the highest voice pitch. He is referred to as my second son and my big boy as he also loves me.

The kittens:

Lili: she loves our dog Winter. She is also our most talkative (Casper doesn't really talk he just. Yells. Lili responds to us) she's a lover, will run to you for pets if you call her name or wiggle your fingers at her. Lili doesn't really have a person I don't think, she spends most of her time laying down on the floor and watching us all from the hallway.

Mocha: our first forever kitten. We got her after our Husky Kaya, who likes to chase them around and put her mouth on them. It's more advantageous for her to be small, so she isn't growing. She loves Casper, regularly falling asleep curled against him. If Casper is asleep in the sink, solid chance Mocha will plop on top of him. He often starts playing with her which is concerning because he's like 4x her muscle mass and 3x longer claws.

Cocoa: Mocha's sister. Seriously they're from the same litter. I always put Cocoa last because Mocha is a long-hair but Cocoa is short-haired and thus even smaller. Cocoa loves Lili, and tends to be near her. Lili doesn't care either way.

Honorable mention: Josie was a fat old Calico bitch who hated everyone. However she slept near my dad every night and allowed him to cuddle her. She was scared of loud noises so I'd often hold her close every new years and she'd shake against me. I could feel her flinch every time a firework went off. Once the fireworks stopped and she'd calmed down, she would start yelling at me and hissing to be let go. R.I.P you cranky asshole

)

It's not that I play favorites, it's that my cats have their preffered people and places to be. Sunny likes my bed. Shadow likes my closet, and no one else is allowed in there cuz they can't behave. Casper likes to lean on my legs. Lili likes the body pillow I kept on my floor for Josie (had arthritis is her legs). Cocoa also likes the body pillow. Mocha likes to lean on me, but both Mocha and Cocoa are cuddlers who will plop on my chest or lap and purr for hours.

[jokeson-u]

One more thing to add, FUCK IT if your sister gets pissy and defensive if you show her Erik's response to the series! If she wants to get pissy and defensive, because she doesn't want to admit she's in the wrong, that's her problem. If it were me, I'd show it to her just to stick it to her and laugh right in her face over how stupid and ignorant she is. I'd give no fucks about pissing her off. Because her reaction says a lot more about her than it does about you. Don't let her walk all over you and bully you like this. You have the right to your voice too and to speak up.

forgot to address this even tho i put the screenshot in the other answer smh but UGHDJDJ its HARD cus like. being blunt does not work on her. she gets defensive asf and doubles down or gets silent in anger and makes ur life hell for 2 weeks. she doesnt respond well to people confronting her or even just giving her information she doesnt wanna hear. and it sucks cus shes the oldest sister and im the youngest and as my dad says, she (and all oldests) have 'oldest sister/sibling complex' LMAO like they think theyre right about literally everything and that they know whats best (while simultaneously acting so burdened and tortured). and i live w her and share a room w her and she makes being home miserable when shes angry, and she holds the grudge for weeks. my parents know shes like that too but its like. what fucking ever i guess, shes mosrly like that w me cus im the youngest (older sister complex). but its not worth it to be straight up, and when i am, i have to be careful about it. and either way, she'll give some defense that makes it clear she thinks everyone who disagrees isnt as smart as her

[eames-with-a-rose]

Few weird stuff since i came to this highland

. 2 weeks back met a woman in meditation class who said i was not from earth. Came to see her the next day, chatted and hugged her thru her crying. Came back with 12 days early period. Met her the next time. Confirmed somehow our moon cycle synced, to the exact day despite I only spent half a day with her and her daughter. The story of her life, also paralleled with some of mine. Slap in my face but thank you, sister. I’d do a lot in the name of love. But not like this. . Meditation teacher ‘ please take care of ur body before following your abilities and do something greater’ . 4 weeks back went to first meditation class, i, the guider, and another woman there, have same birth month and year, one at the first week, one in the middle, and mine at the end of the month

. 3rd day on this highland, walked into a cafe, on the owner’s birthday

. His name has a part of something used to weigh my heart. Let me predict the next that might. . Storm pt1 as i left

. Deep rumbling storm pt2 as sense came to my mind

. Met a friend of friend, he also told me, im not from earth. Next day this dude showed me video of this guitarist, the guitarist has friend’s friend’s face.

. Met 2 4/6 in 1 month. Used to know 02 the whole time down heatland and it’s my sister Rob, from italy . And that baby of classmate, a reflector. The only reflector i know up to now.

. Repeating cards of total 5. All saying ‘ fucking run as fast as u can as soon as u can’ . 52 was how long it took. I tried. Too similar to mother, no wonder i responded to you (this is an insult)

. Flashes of images of places, events, acts, which, were correct soon later

. Most ppl with psychic abilities seemed to be aware of my power and abilities, they seem awed and wanted to meet me again, but i dont know that myself. And i dont want to meet them either. Didnt feel good. Those that they saw, came to me, because i didnt ask.

. Maybe there’re more weird, but i, i refuse to see. ‘Coincidences’. Im angered. You fuckcunts ppl are so shitty. This used to feel like motherland to me. Now i feel disgusted . By the people, the land, the trees, i still feel joy by

[chores4days]

unnoticed ੈ✩‧₊˚ chapt. one

benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

summary; in which the girl who's never been noticed by anyone, not even her family, finds herself being noticed by the second son of the bridgerton family-the familly who is the utter opposite of her own.

notes; omg guys i got a chapter finished quickly are you proud!?!?? also i have no idea where im going but i fuck with what i have ( i think ). kind of tried to go for a sophie beckett/penelope featherington vibe at the moment so that should give you some insight to what happens next but yeah tell me what you think please ( begs and pleads ) !! + oh, also after this chapter i think im gonna start looking for a beta reader so let me know if there’s any interest!!

word count; 1082 ( i told you they’d get longer ish >.< )

warnings; i don’t think there are any, maybe some light swearing if anything folks

join the taglist!

unnoticed masterlist.

prev. | cont.

despite the spat with your siblings, moreso brother, that afternoon—he never said a word about it after and allowed you to get ready by yourself that evening before the ball. but as nightfall fell closer you were beginning to think more upon your brother's words. perhaps his words came from a good place in what you could only assume was a cold, slightly beating heart. perhaps there was worry that you would end up like your sister who was five and twenty and had no suitors.

or, perhaps it could just be from a place of maliciousness instead of somewhere that was sort of protective. instead of it being somewhere cold and slightly beating, it was just a cold dead heart. however, no matter the reason, you couldn’t come up with any idea as to why he would be more on top of you than your sister—or even as to why he hadn’t married her off yet. you knew from conversations before that he would never be opposed to idea of marrying you off, so why hasn’t he married her off?

“my lady, are you well” you looked up to see your lady’s maid, only looked up at with a small smile. “miss hillner, i’ve already told you that you may call me by my given name when they are not around.” miss hillner only looked at you with smile and waved her hand at you, “yes, yes. miss y/n, i understand. now, what color dress do you fancy tonight?”

you let out another sigh and took a look at your limited options. as much as your brother complains about you not getting married, he doesn’t allow you to go to the modiste as often as you would like to get fitted. “oh, i need something new, miss hilly, but these have all been worn last year. people-lady featherington, will surely notice. or even worse, lady whistledown.”

miss hillner looked at her lady with sympathy, she had been your lady’s maid for years on end. she was there when your parents were still alive and was able to bear witness to how your brother was treating you, to how differently he treated you and your sister. it was impossible to not see if you were there constantly as she was and to see first hand how it would impact y/n was hard, especially when she was the one who had ended up practically raising the poor girl.

an idea suddenly popped into miss hillner’s head, it would most likely wound up with both her and y/n getting into a tiny bit of trouble but she believed all would be well. “i will be right back, my lady.” she said quickly before rushing out the door.

you didn’t get the chance to respond to her before she rushed out, making you look at the door in confusion. you sat down at the edge of your bed as you began to wonder where she went. it couldn’t have been far?

benedict didn’t know exactly how he felt about being at this evening's ball. he was certainly amused by his elder brother's antics as he flourished in his search to find the ‘perfect’ wife this season. and to watch his mama force eloise to socialize with prospective suitors only to see them try to weasel their way out of conversation after only merely five minutes was always an entertaining sight-he didn’t know how to truly feel.

something felt off about the night. he could feel it in his bones that something was coming, that something surely was to happen but he could not put his finger on it. as much as he tried to shake the tense feeling off of himself, it wouldn’t budge and he was forced to sit and lie in wait until that something were to happen.

he took a curious look around the room, watching the people dance and the mama’s speak to one another in the corner as they watched their daughters. he sipped his lemonade as he watched his brothers dance with ladies of the ton. colin danced with a miss penelope featherington, benedict knew her to be eloise’s closest friend.

and anthony danced with.. oh, benedict could not place her name exactly but he believed her to be the eldest sister of the moorenso’s as well as a spinster. as benedict looked closer at his brother’s face, he noticed that a grimace sat making him chuckle.

the dance was over fairly quickly after having noticed, anthony and the moorenso girl nodded to one another before the man began to stomp his way to his brother. anthony grabbed benedicts drink out of his hand roughly, chugging it down without asking. “oh, lord, why could this not have been something stronger?” anthony swore, making benedict laugh.

“oh, is miss mooreso not to be your lawfully wedded?” he teased, anthony glaring at him in response. “it’s moorenso, for one brother. and two..” his entire body shook as he gave his head a shake, no words able to come to mind about his short experience with the spinster. “i’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad of a dance, she seems like a nice enough girl.” benedict tried to defend the girl he didn’t know, as he knew his brother was being picky this season.

“speak to her yourself and you will too understand the pain brother, that moorenso girl is not good one.” anthony sighed before taking another sip of brothers lemonade. benedict rolled his eyes, snatching his lemonade back before speaking, “i’m sure that you are just-who on earth is that?” he cut himself off mid sentance as he caught a glimpse of the girl who had just walked into the ballroom.

the girl walked in alone, looking as nervous as can be. she wore a mauve colored dress that looked as if it did not fit the era, yet it seemed to blend into it nicely. her dress didn’t look like it was sucking her in as much as the other women of the ton, in fact it looked looser than it probably should have on her almost as if the dress weren’t originally made for her. but benedict had decided that no matter who the dress was originally made for-the lady made the dress look more breathtaking than he ever thought were possible.

and in that moment, benedict bridgeton had decided that it had seemed as if, not something but someone had finally happened.

taglist; @ru-kru @bbridgertcn @yyy90210 ( if you’re not supposed to be here lmk !! )

[readjthompson]

Happy Halloween, people. Here’s an all-new short story (© me, now), free to read.

Bayou Ma’am

by Jeremy Thompson

“Those bitches!” Claude exclaims. “Those lyin’, stinkin’, blue ballin’ whores! Makin’ us the butts of their jokes! Gettin’ us laughed at by everyone! We oughta find ’em and stomp their fuckin’ skulls in!”

“And how would we even do that?” I respond, focusin’ on my composure, compactin’ the shame and heartbreak I now feel into a teeny, tiny ball that I’ll soon entomb in my mind’s deeper recesses. “They said they’re flyin’ back to New York City tonight, to that precious little SoHo loft they wouldn’t stop braggin’ about. They wouldn’t have done what they did if they thought we might see ’em again.”

Andre says nothin’, unable to take his eyes from the iPhone he manipulates, alternatin’ between the Instagram profiles of two hipster sisters, to better appraise our debasement.

#bayoumen is the hashtag they affixed to photos they’d taken with us just a coupla hours prior, at the one bar this town possesses, which we fellas have yet to leave. They’d flirted and led us on, allowin’ me to buy ’em drink after drink and believe that maybe, just maybe, one or more of us would be blessed with a bit of rich girl pussy for a few minutes…or twenty. They’ve got relatives in the area, they claimed, and had just attended one’s funeral. Some black sheep aunt of theirs. A real nobody.

Finally, Andre breaks his silence. “Look at this, right here. They used some kinda special effect to give me yellow snaggleteeth. I go to the dentist religiously. Look at these veneers.”

Barin’ his teeth, he reveals a mouthful of perfect, blindin’-white dental porcelain.

“Yeah, and they made Claude’s eyes way closer together than they really are and gave ’im a unibrow,” I say. “And they gave me a neckbeard and a fiddle. Look pretty real, don’t they?”

“Look at all the likes they’re gettin’. Thousands already. Everyone’s crackin’ jokes on us, callin’ us inbreds and Victor Crowleys, whatever that means. Look, that bitch Marissa just replied to someone’s comment. ‘Those bayou gumps were so cringe, we’re lucky we didn’t end up in their gumbo,’ she wrote. Fuck this. I’mma give ’er a piece of my mind.” A few minutes later, after much furious typin’, Andre adds, “Well, now she’s blocked me. Probably never woulda told us their real names if they knew that we’re on social media.”

Indeed, outlanders often make offensive assumptions when learnin’ of our bayou lifestyles. Hearin’ of our tarpaper shacks, they assume that we do naught but wallow in our own filth every day and smoke pounds of meth. Earnin’ a livin’ catchin’ shrimps, crabs, and crawfishes doesn’t appeal to ’em. They’d rather work indoors, if they even work at all. Solitude brings ’em no peace whatsoever. They care nothin’ for lullabies sung by frogs and crickets. Ya know, maybe they’re soulless.

I wave the bartender over and pay our tab. Nearly three days’ earnings down the drain. “Let’s get outta here, fellas,” I say. “It’s time for somethin’ stronger. There’s blueberry moonshine I’ve been savin’ at my place. It’ll drown our sorrows in no time.”

“Your place, huh,” says Claude. “We ain’t partied there in a minute.”

* * *

The roar of my airboat’s engine—as I navigate brackish water, ever grippin’ the control lever, passin’ between Spanish moss-bedecked cypresses that loom impassively, fog-rooted—makes conversation a chore. Still, seated before me, Andre and Claude shout back and forth.

“Bayou men aren’t fuckin’ rapists!” hollers Claude. “We’re not cannibals neither! I can whip up a crawfish boil better than anything those stuck-up cunts’ve ever tasted!”

“Damn straight!” responds Andre. “Bayou men are hard-workin’, God-fearin’, free folk! If they should be scared of anyone around these parts, it’s Bayou Ma’am!”

“Bayou Ma’am?!” I shout, as if that moniker is new to my ears. “Who the hell’s that…some kinda hooker?!”

“Hooker, nah!” attests Claude. “She’s a…whaddaya call it…hybrid! Half human, half alligator, mean as Satan his own self!”

“I heard that a gator was attackin’ a woman one night!” adds Andre. “Then a flyin’ saucer swooped down from the sky and grabbed ’em both wit’ its tractor beam! Somehow, the beam melded the gator and his meal together all grotesque-like! The aliens saw what they’d done and wanted none of it, so they abandoned Bayou Ma’am and flew elsewhere!”

“I heard toxic chemicals got spilt somewhere around here and some poor teenager swam right through ’em!” Claude contests. “She was pregnant at the time! A few months later, Bayou Ma’am chewed her way right on outta her!”

“Damn, that’s fucked up!” I shout, well aware of the grim reality lurkin’ behind their tall tales.

* * *

Bayou Ma’am is my cousin, you see. As a matter of fact, she was born just seven months after I was, in a shack half a mile down the river from mine. Her mom, my Aunt Emma, died in childbirth—couldn’t stop bleedin’, I heard. Maybe if they’d visited an obstetrician, things would’ve gone otherwise.

My aunt and uncle were reclusive sorts, and no one but them and my parents had known of her pregnancy. There aren’t many residences this far from town, and none are close together. It’s easy to disappear from the world, to eschew supermarkets and restaurants and consume local wildlife exclusively. Uncle Enoch buried Aunt Emma in a private ceremony and kept their daughter’s existence a secret from everyone but my mom and dad. Even I didn’t meet her until we were both four.

One day, a pair of strangers shuffled into my shack—which, of course, belonged to my parents in those days, up ’til they moved to Juneau, Alaska when I was sixteen, for no good reason I could see.

“This is your Uncle Enoch,” my dad told me, indicatin’ a goateed, scrawny scowler. “And that’s his daughter, your cousin Lea.”

Though itchy and bedraggled, though dressed in one of Uncle Enoch’s old t-shirts that had been refashioned into a crude dress, Lea sure was a cutie. Her eyes were the best shade of sky blue I’ve ever seen and her hair was all golden ringlets. Shyly, she waved to me with the hand she wasn’t usin’ to scratch her neck.

The two of ’em soon became our regular visitors. I never took to my perpetually pinch-faced Uncle Enoch, with his persecution complex and conspiracy theories shapin’ his every voiced syllable. Lea, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but be charmed by. She had such a sunny disposition, such full-hearted character, that I was always carried away by the games her inquisitive, inventive mind conjured. Leavin’ our parents to their serious, sunless discussions, we hurled ourselves into the vibrant outdoors and surrendered to our impish natures.

“I’m a hawk, you’re a squirrel!” declared Lea. Outstretchin’ her arms, she voiced ear-shreddin’ screeches, and chased me around ’til we both collapsed, gigglin’. “Whoever collects the most spider lilies wins!” she next decided. “The loser becomes a spider! A great, big, gooey one! Yuck!”

We skipped stones and spied on animals, learned to dance, cartwheel and swim. We played hide-and-seek often, with whichever one of us was “it” allowed to forfeit the game by whistlin’ a special tune we’d improvised. It was durin’ one such game that Lea made a friend.

“I’m comin’ to get you!” I shouted, after closin’ my eyes and countin’ to fifty. Our environs bein’ so rich in hiding spots, expectin’ a lengthy hunt, I was most disappointed to find my cousin within just a few minutes. There she was, at the river’s edge. Behind her, towerin’ cypress trees seemed to sprout from their inverted, ripplin’ doppelgangers. So, too, did Lea seem unnaturally bound to her watery reflection, until I stepped a bit closer and exclaimed, “Get away from there, quickly! That’s a gator you’re pettin’!”

Indeed, we’d both been warned, many times, to avoid the bayou’s more dangerous critters. Black bears and bobcats were said to roam about these parts, though we’d seen neither hide nor hair of ’em. Snakes flitted about the periphery, never lingerin’ long in our sights. We’d seen plenty of gators swimmin’ and lazin’ about, though. As long as we kept our distance and avoided feedin’ ’em, they’d leave us alone, we’d been told.

“Oh, it’s just a little one!” Lea argued, scoopin’ the creature into her arms and plantin’ a smooch on his head. “A cutie-patootie, friendly boy. I’m gonna call ’im Mr. Kissy Kiss.”

I studied the fella. Nearly a foot in length, he was armored in scales, dark with yellow stripes. Fascinated by his eyes, with their vertical pupils and autumn-shaded irises, I stepped a bit closer. Mr. Kissy Kiss’ mouth opened and closed, displayin’ dozens of pointy teeth, as Lea stroked him.

“Well, I guess he does seem kinda nice,” I admitted. “I wonder where his parents are.”

“Maybe his mommy and daddy went to heaven, and are singin’ with the angels,” said Lea.

“Maybe, maybe, maybe,” I mockingly singsonged.

Suddenly, a strident shout met our ears: my mother callin’ us in for lunch. Carefully, Lea deposited Mr. Kissy Kiss onto the shoreline. He then crawled into the water—never to return, I assumed.

Boy, was I wrong. A few days later, I found Lea again riverside, feedin’ the little gator a dozen snails she’d collected—crunch, crunch, crunch. A week after that, he strutted up to my cousin with a bouquet of purple petunias in his clenched teeth.

“Ooh, are these for me?” Lea cooed, retrievin’ the flowers and tuckin’ one behind her ear. “I love you so much, little dearie,” she added, strokin’ her beloved until his tail began waggin’.

Their visits continued for a coupla months, until mean ol’ Uncle Enoch caught us at the riverside as we attempted to teach Mr. Kissy Kiss to fetch. Oh, how the man pitched a fit then.

“No daughter of mine’ll be gator meat!” he shouted. “Sure, he’s nice enough now, but these bastards grow a foot every year! By the time he’s eleven feet long and weighs half a ton, you’re be nothin’ but a big mound of shit he left behind.” Seizing Lea by the arm, my uncle then dragged her away.

When next we did meet, a few days later, my cousin wasted no time in leadin’ me back to the riverside. “Where are you, Mr. Kissy Kiss?” she wailed, until the little gator swam from the shadows to greet her. Sweepin’ him into her arms, she said. “Let’s run away together, right this minute, so that we’ll never be apart.”

“Oh, that’s not such a great idea,” a buzzin’ voice contested. “Little girls go missin’ all the time and their fates are far from enviable.”

“Who said that?” I demanded, draggin’ my gaze all ’cross the bayou.

“’Tis I, Lord Mosquito,” was the answer that accompanied the alightin’ of the largest bloodsucker I’ve ever seen. Its legs were longer than my arms were back then. Iridescent were its cerulean scales, glimmerin’ in the sun.

“Mosquitos don’t talk,” I protested.

“They do when they were the Muck Witch’s familiar. Now she’s dead and I’m free to fly where I might.”

“I ain’t never hearda no Muck Witch.”

“And she never heard of you. That’s the way of southern recluses. Still, such is the great woman’s power that she grants wishes even now, from the other side of death. The Muck Witch’ll ensure that you never part with your precious pet, little Lea, just so long as you follow me to her grave and ask her with proper courtesy.”

Well, I’d been warned about witches and the deceitfulness of their favors, so I attempted to drag Lea back to my shack, away from the bizarre insect. But the girl fought me most ferociously, clawin’ flesh from my face, so I ran for my parents and uncle instead.

By the time the four of us returned to the riverside, neither girl nor gator nor mosquito could be sighted. We searched the bayou for hours, shriekin’ Lea’s name, to no avail.

A few weeks later, after we hadn’t seen the fella for a while, my parents dragged me to my uncle’s shack, so that we might suss out his state of mind and offer him a bit of comfort.

“I found her,” Uncle Enoch attested, usherin’ us into his livin’ room, which was now occupied by a large, transparent tank.

Atop its screen lid, facin’ downward, were dome lamps that emanated heat and UVB lightin’ from their specialized bulbs. Silica sand and rocks spanned its bottom, beneath a bathtub’s wortha water. At one end of the tank, boulders protruded from the agua. Upon ’em rested a terrible figure. If not for the recognizable t-shirt she wore, I’d never have surmised her identity.

“Luh…Lea?” I gasped. “What in the world has become of ya?”

Indeed, though Lea had wished to always be with her beloved gator, I doubt that she’d desired for the creature to be merged with her, to be incorporated into Lea’s very physicality. Patches of scales were distributed here and there across her exposed flesh. Her beautiful blue eyes remained, but her nose and mouth had stretched into an alligator’s wide snout, filled with many conical teeth. And let’s not forget her long, brawny tail.

After our initial shock abated and dozens of unanswerable questions were voiced, my parents took me home. Never again did they return to my uncle’s shack, but a dim sense of familial obligation had me comin’ back every coupla weeks, to feed Lea local muskrats and opossums I’d captured, and help my uncle change her tank’s shitty water.

The years went by, and Lea moved into a succession of larger tanks. Eventually, she grew big enough to wear her mother’s old dresses, seemin’ to favor those with floral patterns.

Finally, just a coupla months ago, I arrived at the shack to find Lea’s tank shattered. Torn clothin’ and scattered bloodstains were all that remained of Uncle Enoch, and my cousin was nowhere to be seen.

Not long after that, the Bayou Ma’am sightings began, which vitalized increasingly outlandish rumors and the occasional drunken search party. Luckily, no one has managed to photograph or film Lea yet, as far as I know.

* * *

At any rate, back in the present, I cut the airboat’s engine, leavin’ us driftin’ along our twilight current. It takes a moment for our arrested momentum to register with Claude and Andre, then both are bellowin’, askin’ me what the fuck’s goin’ on.

Rather than voice bullshit answers, I whistle the special tune my cousin and I improvised all those years ago, again and again, to ensure that I’m heard.

Moments later, Lea bursts up from the water, wearin’ a floral dress that had once been red-with-white-lilies, before the bayou muck spoiled it. In the fadin’ light, blurred by her own velocity, she could be mistaken for a primeval relic, a time-lost dinosaur of a species hitherto unknown. But, as her nickname had been so freshly upon their lips, both of my passengers, nearly synchronized, cry out, “Bayou Ma’am!”

Whatever the fellas might’ve said next is swallowed by their shrieks, as Lea tackles Andre out of his passenger seat while simultaneously swattin’ Claude across the face with her tail. The latter’s nose and mouth implode, spillin’ gore down his shirt.

Attemptin’ to gouge out Lea’s eyes as she and he roll across the deck, Andre instead loses both of his hands to her snappin’ teeth. Blood fountains from his new wrist stumps as he falls unconscious.

Claude tries to dive off the side of my airboat, but Lea’s powerful mouth has already seized him by the leg, its grip nigh unbreakable. She begins shakin’ her head—left to right, right to left—until Claude’s entire right calf muscle is torn away and swallowed.

“Ah, God, that hurts!” he shouts. His eyes meet mine and he begs, “Help me! Kill the bitch!”

“Sorry,” I respond, comfortably perched in the driver seat, an audience of one, watchin’ Lea’s teeth tear through the fella’s arm, as his free hand slaps her snout.

After Lea’s mouth closes around Claude’s skull, my friend’s struggles finally cease. Not much is left of him now. All of his thoughts and feelings have surely evanesced.

Groggily, Andre returns to consciousness, only to find himself helpless as Lea tears away his pants and consumes his right leg, then his left. She takes special delight in dinin’ on his genitals, as is evidenced by her waggin’ tail.

Blood loss carries Claude’s soul away, even as Lea moves onto his abdomen.

* * *

I’ll miss Claude and Andre. Friends aren’t easily attained in the bayou and they were the best ones I’ve ever had. All of the memories we made together will be carried only by me now. When I’m gone, it’ll be as if those events never happened.

Perhaps I should say a prayer as I push what little is left of their corpses into the dark river, but all I can think to say is, “Farewell, cousin,” as Lea swims away, glutted. Does she even care that I sacrificed chummy companionship to help keep her existence unknown?

It’s tough as hell to fight a rumor, but I’m sure gonna try. I’ll say that Claude and Andre hitchhiked to Tijuana, cravin’ a bit of prostituta. No need to further enflame the Bayou Ma’am seekers. If many more of ’em disappear, it’s sure to spell trouble for Lea.

Perhaps my cousin’ll be captured one day, for display or dissection. Or maybe I’ll discover the Muck Witch’s grave and attempt to wish Lea back to normal. Is Lord Mosquito still alive? If so, can it be persuaded to help?

Whatever the case, I wasn’t lyin’ about that blueberry moonshine earlier. Lickety-split, I’ll be drinkin’ my way into slumberland, and therein escape familial obligation for a while.