#And learning that would ruin everything
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Hiii:) for the ask game thingy can you pretty please do anyone you’d like for sky:) I just wanna hear you ramble!!!!
As a quick forward- I love you so much Dill and I'm so glad that you are interested in my OCs. Sky is my baby girl and she makes me so happy. I love that you love talking about her. Everything I'm about to say is all very silly and I'm not mad at you I promise. With that being said...
I have mentioned on multiple occasions that Sky is not a complex character and she is absolutely NOT the character to use for this ask game.
So. Here's every single ask from that list that I cannot answer with Sky because she literally does not experience character trauma or complexity!
Betrayal, Bound (unless you count the Horizon but that's stupid, that's her fucking home), Failure, Ghost, Guilt, Heartbreak, Hide, Hunt, Mask, Secret, Skin, and Torture. 12 of 24. I can't answer 50% of these questions because they simply do not apply to Sky.
Of the remaining 12, Break, Desire, Fear, Hate, Midnight, Mistake, and Pain aren't really gonna have interesting answers, or I can't answer in the way the question implies it should be answered (ex For Midnight, it's implied that it's talking about fears, and Sky wouldn't be sleeping because she's reading a good book). So, that leaves us with 5 questions that I can provide a good answer for for Sky! Out of 24!
Okay woah. Passive-aggressiveness is done. Sorry I just really like emphasizing that Sky is not a complex character. Here's a few of the questions that I can answer!
Alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?
Sky has spent most of her life being alone. She's not that bothered by it, but it gets to her every now and then. When she's feeling more lonely, Sky will typically go out, interact with a few of the Horizon citizens that don't hate her (Looking at YOU, Moongoons, how dare you hate my girlie), and often bring Ru with her. Or, she'll spend the day taking care of Ru, walking him, giving him plenty of food, dressing him up, all that. She'll also spend time working on her garden. It really boils down to trying to stay out of her house, since the confinement makes her feel more lonely. And, of course, if ETC is in town, she'll visit xem.
Fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away? Future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility? Hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?
Lumping these three together because they have similar answers. Sky's worst fear is King Moonjumper finding a way to get out of the Horizon, because the result of that would be disastrous. It's not a severe, pressing fear, but it's definitely there and it's definitely her worst fear. The worst possible ending for Sky would be exactly that- King Moonjumper winning and finding a was out of the Horizon, specifically in a way that ends up with Sky staying alive. Because then she would get to witness him slowly tear apart the space-time continuum and destroy her entire home!
With all that being said. Guess who Sky hates.
Monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
Besides the obvious visual indicators, Sky does sort of consider herself to be a monster. Not a monster as in a horrible person, but quite literally a monster. She's a native Horizon citizen, she's visibly not human/humanoid (kind of?), and she doesn't consider herself to be human in any way, including using human as a measure of moral standard. Sky is a creature a critter and she likes that.
Which. This is somewhat my reasoning behind why I hate making Sky in Picrews, which I think I've mentioned on Discord once or twice. She is very much a critter to me and I don't want to take that away.
Wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?
Sky gets hurt a lot. Thanks, King Moonjumper. She's fairly okay with it, since she is capable of regrowing limbs, but it does still hurt. She has a higher than average pain tolerance. As for emotional pains, Sky doesn't get many (once again, not a complex character), but every now and then she'll get really frustrated with King Moonjumper or very lonely or just overall have a bad day and those tend to be a bit rough for her. But she's always able to bounce back!
#Ily Sky. My least complex character <3#Ahit Horalo AU#Ahit OC Skyscreamer#Marci Answers#Okay this should be below the cut. Hiding this in the tags#Because I know you fuckers don't read them#Adding another thing for Future- the absolute worst possible ending for Sky would be what I talked about#Plus Sky learning the contents of the Horizon's Storybook#Aka King Moonjumper's backstory#That would be the worst possible outcome. Sky not knowing KMJ's past is so important to her character#And learning that would ruin everything
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Day 4: Aristaeus
Interpretation notes and trivia below the cut!!
All rise for the entrance of my president !! Honestly, of all the figures and characters that were up for debate when I first started thinking about this story and who I wanted leading the charge Aristaeus was not one of them. Originally, I'd always known that Asclepius and Orpheus would be worked in somehow - they've always been favourites of mine in terms of children of Apollo (even if Orpheus as the child of Apollo and Calliope is less popular classically) and I expected my pick for the third child of Apollo to be involved to be similarly mortal like Iamus or Tenes but the more I looked into Aristaeus the more I fell in love with him! Ultimately, he's meant to be both a foil and a reflection of his father - a boy who grows up thinking his father's footsteps would always be warm only to realise that following in them would lead to death and destruction. While his status as a rustic and hunting god is still important here, Aristaeus' interpretation is much more focused on his connection to the Etesian wind and his quelling of the dog star Sirius which is why his hair in particular is so long and spiralling. All in all, more than any other figure I've chosen to interpret and represent in my work Aristaeus is the god I hope more people get interested in and research! I think there are a lot of important stories in his various myths and travels and I definitely want more people to discover and fall in love with them as I have!
Some fun trivia:
Apollo's firstborn son. Because he was born mortal on account of his very mortal mother, Apollo immediately took him to Olympus to eat ambrosia to begin his transition into divinity. Apollo would continue to feed Aristaeus small amounts of ambrosia and nectar for the next ten years until the child fully shed his mortal skin and was reborn as a god.
Due to the nature of making mortals deathless (namely the fun part of the process where they are completely remade and lose their mortal memories) Aristaeus spent most of his early life with his mother and siblings where they all pitched in to reteach him his family, his hobbies, his favourite things and ultimately how to live and love. Aristaeus was very attached to his maternal family because of this and his early acts of ingenuity were mostly born from his wish to make things easier for his family.
Aristaeus is the only one of his children Apollo hand raised full time. In those days, Aristaeus adored his father and believed him completely upright and blameless, the true face of a benevolent deity and the kind of man he aimed to be when he was full grown.
They would later have many bitter arguments and conflicts, the first and perhaps most impactful of all being their disagreement over Actaeon, Aristaeus' firstborn son. He wanted Apollo to teach him stating that it was a normal thing for a grandfather to do but Apollo vehemently refused to have any part of Actaeon's rearing, stating that he was not his child and that it was highly inappropriate for him to educate another god's son. When Actaeon later dies, Aristaeus blames a not insignificant part of that on Apollo - something that only worsens when he learns that it was Artemis who cursed the boy and that Apollo was always aware Actaeon would die young.
Spends most of his time travelling from place to place. Doesn't really like Olympus and prefers to spend his time minding animals or tending to fields. Is on wonderful terms with Demeter and Persephone and often makes decadent exchanges of olive oil and preserved meat for exotic flowers and fruit for his bees.
Big fan of wind and percussive instruments. Never liked the kithara because of how finicky it is and far prefers the hand drums and reed flutes of his mother's country. Exceptional dancer.
Will sell prized cattle for high quality and highly unique jewellry. Doesn't much care for gemstones but is an absolute gold fiend and has a massive collection of bracelets, anklets, nose and lip adornments and rings. Has never been north enough to hit India but got a ton of rare and different adornments from his Phoenician in-laws when he was married to Autonoë.
Hates dogs but doesn't mind wolves. Not a big horse fan either
Unlike other winds, he cannot transform into various animal forms. He's close enough to the Anemoi that he keeps up with the gossip but he's only really friends with Notos. Gets along poorly with Zephyrus whose preference for pretty youths has often led to them getting into physical altercations when they were younger. Aristaeus still holds a bit of a grudge about it.
Has a big stupid crush on Dionysus which is embarrassing because Dionysus also put him out of a job. Due to Dionysus' relative youth, he feels a bit conflicted about such feelings - mostly because Dionysus is on extremely good terms with Apollo and Aristaeus doesn't want him to get burned.
Despite kinda despising his father, Aristaeus is a pretty decent eldest brother and regularly keeps in contact with a lot of his siblings. He often delivers mead, flavoured honey and olive oil and uses it as an excuse to chat and catch up. Currently in a bit of a tiff with Asclepius because he's worried about him and his family.
Favourite colour is the rich gold of purified honey, favourite food is lokma and his favourite time of year is winter.
#ginger draws#pursuing daybreak posting#words cannot describe how much I love this man actually#other things Apollo has done that completely ruined his relationship with his firstborn include but are not limited to:#protecting and defending Aristaeus but letting Idmon die#giving Orpheus hope that he could recover Eurydice and not apologising for making Aristaeus immortal then raising him mortal#knowing how painful it would be to watch his siblings die#he firmly believes that Apollo knows a little bit of everything and could avert so much more pain if he just#warned people better#In a lot of ways Aristaeus still idolises his father - it's just that now he thinks of him as unfair and cruel instead of perfect#Apollo is content to let things be he's there when Aristaeus needs him but he won't force him to be around him#Aristaeus' intense reaction is why he started being more distant about raising his kiddos too btw#He can never detach himself emotionally but he tries not to be too permanent a fixture in their lives so they can learn about him#naturally from other people instead of growing up thinking of him as infallible or someone who would do things in their best interest#Apollo's beholden to Fate first and foremost - even his children can't change that#aristaeus#october art challenge#greek myths
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My gift to @tragediegh for Rote Winterfest Gift-exchange !
My beloved @vilyar was a life saviour for lending me his drawing tablet and computer when mine broke and for helping me sketch some of the harder parts ❤️ Thank you
#cicidedraws#fitzloved#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#beloved the fool#the farseer trilogy#The rules for lovers song ruled hard and was a good inspiration for this#also With you by Cujo Moon damn#HUGE THANK YOU TO MY BELOVED VILYAR#This would have been ruined without you my sun#I've been sick for so long so I was only able to do this so late and then my drawing table broke and i lost my nerve but there he was#my sun my star my Al who gave me his computer and drawing tablet and everything worked well!#So thank you#This will be us this year#Anyways Tragediegh YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN OUR AURORA BOREALIS EXPEDITION#I will send you HD versions of these two#I dont know what to say other than that I hope you like this and get the most amazing year!#Also yall I am trying to learn how to do snow#I ALSO LEARNED NEW SHADOWING TECHNIQUE and I kinda like it!
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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the child does nothing but lie
#naturally he learned from the best#compilation tag#the concept of roger and laura and baby david having a dog is so endlessly funny to me.#and a cocker spaniel at that. epitome of symbolic fidelity. sure.#that would be why they never cared enough to name it. fuck it. dog.#also burke should have been allowed to get david a puppy. please.#roger i would like to get our son a dog. what are you doing.#30.#153.#so was burke the proverbial mutt following roger around looking up to him or#➤ re: burke devlin. ┊ I am stranded in a hungerland of great prosperity.#➤ re: david collins. ┊ he's just been afflicted with the family disease. he's been seeing ghosts.#➤ re: laura murdoch collins. ┊ I want to watch a girl on fire with ruin on her lips. I want to see everything burn.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.
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Hello!👋 After Achilles and Patroclus are detained by police, Peleus was about as angry as we ever see him in Disasters. When he says “maybe things should change around here”, what was he contemplating? Boarding school? A live-in nanny? Maybe changing his own ways and spending more time at home (🤣)? Thank you 🙏
Oh gosh he did say that didn't he 🤣 Honestly, I don’t know that he himself knew what he was planning on doing. It’s one of the reasons why he's being so vague. He's learned the hard way not to make any bold declarations where Achilles is concerned, because if he doesn’t live up to them for whatever reason Achilles never lets it go (and he's every right not to lol)
So... boarding school is out of the question, since Peleus has been adamant about Achilles growing up in Phthia. A live-in nanny is also out of the question, since he tried to do that at some point before Patroclus arrived, and Achilles went ballistic on the poor woman so they had to let her go. But Peleus does occasionally think of changing his own ways, especially in the months after Thetis left and Achilles was acting up and dragging poor Patroclus with him (that's how Peleus sees it lol). Peleus thinks that him leaving the boys alone for days or weeks on end, and letting them do as they please is because he's being too laid-back and lenient with them instead of horribly negligent, so he sometimes threatens to be more strict, not let them go out as much on weekdays for instance, or make sure there are consequences when they don't follow the rules of the house or if they don’t do well at school (mostly for Achilles, Patroclus is an angel that can do no wrong. Except for that specific chapter. Pat really said be gay do crimes 🤣). But in order to enforce those "strict rules" he'd have to be around more and...... lol. Lmao. Sorry kiddos, daddy has a plane to catch ✈️
Thank you so much for this ask!! 💙💙
#patrochilles#disasters au#disasters spoilers#listen staying at home would ruin peleus' absent dad swag#can't have that#maybe those kids should learn to bail THEMSELVES out of jail next time does he need to do everything himself around here
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misophonia + sensory issues are torture. i'm so tired of all of this.
#misophonia#i'm so tired of being so triggered by sounds. can't function day to day without plugging my ears 98% of the time#trying not to relapse in sh and skin scratching but it completely fell through over hearing a spoon hit a glass bowl#i think dealing with noise triggers is one of the hardest things to cope with. i just cannot do it#i've tried watching mukbangs & people using utensils my whole life to adjust and “get over it” as so many have told me to#but oh my fucking god i can't i want to smash my head into a wall until i can't hear anymore#i've spent so long isolating and avoiding everything just so i can't hear trigger noises#even in therapy my therapist played audio that triggers me & tried to do tapping exercises to help#but i fear i'm doomed#i wanna vomit tbh. this makes life hell. it makes me feel so stupid#also makes me feel childish with people because their responses are always like “you should have grown out of this by now”#because my whole life it's been “you'll grow out of it” i genuinely looked forward to that day where i would grow out of it....#desperately couldn't wait for my time but now since being diagnosed with autism + adhd & learning more ik it's just stuck with me#i can't grow out of neurodevelopmental disorder or symptoms. i have sm grief w this diagnosis bc it can't be 'fixed' i thought everything#could be fixed one day... even seeing certain movements triggers hearing the sound in my head when it isn't there. i can't rest.#repetitive movements also bother me and make me want to rip my hair out#like i wish my brain would chill and give me a break. i try so hard to mask everything too around people but i still fall through so much#it's so exhausting#i'm so frustrated and tired#i want to throw up.#i also despise when i've communicated this to people close to me & they'll say they understand + tell me their triggers to relate to me...#then when i have to hang up out of panic on a call... or put my earplugs in in front of someone while talking.. meltdown.. or walk off-#i'm then met with confusion / irritation / anger despite communicating a million times#people are valid to get tired of me over these things. i get that. it's excessive & frustrating. i'm tired of me + these issues too.#but i wish people that said they understood... really did.#i've been called dramatic for years and yeah it is very dramatic. it's fucking awful and has ruined so much for me.#i have huge emotions over it. i'm glad people can brush it off as dramatic and not personally deal with it.#i just laugh and claim the dramatic title a lot of the time because those who say it just really don't understand. it's lonely. i'm so alon#always will be.#tw vent
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#although i agree with my parents. in the end i'm choosing the school they want and the course they want for me#but now theyre telling me they want me to spend 18 hours on a weekend studying how to drive#and i tell them i would like it if it were during the summer break because i literally still have school#and theyre getting angry at me because im ruining their plans#do they know how much i have been giving myself to their plans#and i just delay this one thing (i dont even want to drive but i will learn to drive because they want me to) and im ruining everything#its 8 in the morning and i want to break down
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just seeing if I can post a whiteboard link without somebody fucking it up again
#cuz every time i posted a link publicly#some raider would just come in and ruin everything#pls work pls work pls work#anyway here's some stuff that's on the board so more people see this#spooky month#candy dealer#streber#bob velseb#twomp#mr plant#mr plant twomp#baldi#baldi's basics#baldi's basics in education and learning#bbieal#crash bandicoot#dingodile
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Mental health is going downhill, I'm not sure how to handle that right now... The end of the year feels more and more lonely at the days pass.
Cherish your loved ones, make sure they know they count in your life.
#i'm trying so hard to keep myself busy#but it's mentally tiring to have to produce anything to feel like I'm buying my right to exist#without this... why am i even here?#if I'm not producing anything i'm absolutely irrelevant in this world#'it's the anxiety speaking' you bet it is and it's damn right#i have no purpose no one will miss me when my parents are gone#i'm still here because i don't want to ruin their life#what happens when the only people you're relevant to disappear?#i'm taking up space and ressources that could go to someone else#would therapy help? to learn to lie to myself into thinking 'we all deserve to live'?#live for what exactly? be a waste of space? be so deeply useless?#if i disappeared right now my job would replace me my pets would go to my parents#and that's it#that's everything my life is made of#and it's no one's fault#but maybe we're not all made to live
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Skypiea time part 2

She is a woman..... this is sanji's influence... in whiskey peak his slashes were non gendered

Ace just letting himself get pushed into the river like aight my bad I will take my punishment.... he really is so well mannered (it sounds like I'm talking about a dog)

Conis showing that nami influence.... gfs....

Nami and luffy twins moment look how relieved she is... this whole fight is so theirs...

Also how funny it is that the milk girl gave ace a shirt.... also new pants??? She must think he lost the shirt in the river.... no girl he is just a slut...

Nami: okay ❤️ yay ❤️

Noland just thinking about where karugara is and if he is alright in his EXECUTION!! SICK AND TWISTED

OMG BOUNDMAN INSPO????

NO ACEEE NOOOOOOOO
THE END OF ACES STORY IS THAT THE COFFE IS NO LONGER BITTER BC THEY SERVE IT WITH MILK AND WHY AM I EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT
#luffy carrying karugaras will to make cricket hear the bell tolling.... god.... but i think i missed why he knows there is a bell#luffy is smart idk if enel mentioned it or he connected the points between the ones cricket had#and right now i get my answers... damn you oda... cricket making sure he sends luffy where he wants to go so now luffy will get him the bel#nami and her waver are literally invincible... i miss it where did it go.... she and the waver and zeus could take down big mom i am seriou#robin watching the ruins be destroyed... if she could get her hands on enel i onow it would be gruesome#i just will never get over how the people just start praying to god to save them and luffy does like that is insane it is too early#did oda had nika in mind already (by old sketches he did) or some concept of it like what the hell chapter 297... and so explicit...#on the second read it really sticks out like damn.... foreshadowing and also a lot of lore starts here its amazing....#HE LITERALLY MAKES IT SUNNY AGAIN LIKE WHAT ARE WE DOING!!! HELLO???!!!#luffy doing like noland did and making god worthless... i mean different instances but the god the shandians praised was very much like ene#omnipresent and vengeful. have to keep him pleased if you dont want to suffer his wrath etc...#and then the god the people pray to save them is luffy (even if they dont know) which does good and asks for nothing in return.... yeah....#cricket was so worried about them omg.... crying and everything knowing they are alright and also made his life worth it like damn#now everyone comes back to life yeah yeah weve all seen it... only luffy knew a good party could end a 400 year territorial feud#you know the fact that netflix could use skypiea to make a insensitive tasteless two state solution reference with this makes my blood boil#<- very tangential but alos very real solution bc i do not trust them to be critical bellemere said stealing is bad. what next#robin learns about ancestdal weapons and says tss... whatever this isnt history jadhiansksns#so roger followed its guide?? so he was looking for the weapons too?? my axis mundis theory makes sense ajdianiskanao#nvm roger took the poneglyph with the history i guess... thats more boring..... roger took the info on the poneglyphs to laugh tale??? okay#THE COOKS ARE THE GIRLS PARENTS.... I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAPTAINS DAUGHTER!!! OOOOHHH THAT IS EVEN BETTER THEY ENJOYED ACE EATING SO MUCH 😭#aokiji is the strongest man in the marine headquarters... so that was a fucking lie....#reading one piece
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finished my second read of manhunt and took nine whole pages of my most basic commentary-free david notes
#think i’m going to dig into his voluntary statement tonight#which i started last night and got like four pages in before feeling nauseous at the fact that#booth used to send david tickets to go see his shows#and would repeatedly ask him to come backstage and see him in costume#everything i’m learning is unfortunately pointing to the fact that booth was actually incredibly fond of david and it’s ruining my life#anyway#david
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so glad an idol talked about this! and i’m sure many have seen the comments others are getting and it’s quite literally ridiculous how much of a debate this has become cr.
#i posted abt this earlier and what he said#was more or less what i thought#but i didn’t have in account that idols would see those comments#and i think it’s important to have criticisms but#most of these people who are saying this one did better than the other#are genuinely just saying these things just to hate on a certain idol#and i keep thinking abt how i asked here abt how ‘over dancing’ was a thing#and a kinda anon explain it to me and also said that it’s important to remember#dance is a form of art and is interpreted in many ways#some people won’t like how idol x y and z dances#but it doesn’t mean they are doing it wrong#one thing i learned abt dancing when i did it a while ago is that#people have different styles and i think that’s what is great abt dancing#and challenges like this are able to show that#it’s interesting to see idols do another choreo that#sometimes has nothing to do with the choreos they usually do#for their groups but most importantly they do it for fun#and because it’s cool to participate in these things#but people making think pieces are ruining everything#truly it was supposed to never be that deep#this is getting long but POINT IS#this is supposed to be fun and i imagine a lot of idols#backed out from doing it because they are afraid of receiving hate comments for it#tris.txt
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you know i oscillate between appreciating and resenting this fact about me (which is VERY maretypical tbh) b/c of how complicated it makes things but in this moment i must step back from my emotions and say. holy SHIT i am so glad i do not possess a drop of impulsivity in me holy fucking shit oh my God.
#nightmare.personal#haha. bites my lip and looks around alluringly. I would ruin my life so fucking fast actually.#and that's why it's kind of shitty because i don't have uh. that many outlets? for how i feel?#which doesn't? exactly end well? sometimes i don't know how i survive this#but also i am very glad that i am not impulsive and further i am REALLY glad i have chronic exhaustion#because the way that i mentally feel right now is only being held back by the fact that i'm reigning myself back#and am too tired to even like. get up to brush my teeth#also this makes life easier on everyone who knows me because they know i won't try risky shit#i just remain Moderately Concerning to people which is how i'd like to fucking stay thanks#not to my family though. everyone in the world be worried about me but i don't want my family to even perceive me#... my mother and sister can. but they know my happy moments first and foremost#my father and brother will learn about everything a step too late and that's how i like it#it's the younger brother instinct in me what can i say!! i've got to fucking prove myself somehow!!!#God i do not feel good right now huh.
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Here’s my gaming hot take;
im so saddened, and sick and tired of the fact that so many games are being flooded with chuds who want to turn everything competitive and don’t know how to fucking have fun
“I only play to climb ranks/win for a team/will scream insults if you aren’t in a clan” thats fine and dandy but you keep joining matches and staying in matches with like 9 other players who do not give a flying fuck and would rather not deal with your howler monkey ass screaming at the top of your lungs when you die once and decide to rage quit. Most people don’t care about your K-D or the fact you’re in some superficial and stupid clan full of other fragile egos. Learn to have fun instead of compensating for the fact you never bothered to practice anything else to become skilled in and can’t make your parents proud of you with literally anything (and thus screaming at others to take it out on them).
And I hate the fact that devs, sometimes much to their own detriment, are trying to cater to the merry little band of shrieking donkeys by gearing up all their shit for just that and trying to pretend the casual crowd isn’t there
#its like the whole difficulty setting thing with how many wanna launch into the whole we have NORMAL AND SUPER HARD AND LEGENDARY#and mock the people who chose normal still and pretend they're a niche batch of cry wimps#but the reality is normal was still the highest played shit but you gotta poke at your core base to look cool to the loud posers#hell even EA went over their one new games when the chuds were pretending the hardcore mode was more popular than super easy#and saying super easy should be taken off#and turned out there was 10% more playing super easy than the hardcore one which had a whopping small 4% of players#not that either should be removed but its the same concept of shit flinging to try and appear cool and awesome#and meanwhile they just eat their own foot#but anyways im sick and tired of just hearing these fucking asshole rambo wannabes#and if they all just died out and never had to hear one scream obscenities into the mic and verbally abuse others i would be happier#especially with the pathetic crowd who do this with co-op games of all things#like what was the point of shouting slurs and saying everyone ruined everything because you ran off on your own#and got killed by a boomer in l4d2#if you take shit this seriously and verbally abuse people every time you play a game then you need to get the fuck off#if dying in a game once reduces you to punching a wall or breaking a controller/keyboard you need to get the fuck off#and you desperately need to learn better ways to cope with your life because normal people are NOT like this
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Highkey gonna cry I looked up this uni I have to go to on Insta and literally it looks like the worst fit for me
#might actually just take another gap year even if it makes me feel like a failure#do a metal working course in the village become a blacksmith#weld shit together for a living#i got rejected from my first choice and i never bothered looking at my backup option#bc i was so so so sure id get into my first choice#...#anyway#im probably gonna drop out in a week and then just take another gap year lol#its fine everythings fine#hey coach wymack ytf dont you come barrelling into my gym threatening me and giving me a safe space to study#lets be real even if he was fucking real i dont have the talent for it#its feeling a bit like i never tried hard enough so now my life is falling down around me and i have nothing to show for it hours#like#if i had only tried harder for gcses then alevels would have been easier and if id studied at all during alevels maybe id have got into a#good university and maybe if id got into a good university i wouldnt have to go to this one where ill feel like a sore thumb#god is that even the way that phrase is used#and maybe id be happier if only id worked harder to make my life better for myself like#learned something this year and uts that apathy will literally ruin your life#doesnt matter how much i write down my ten year plan if i dont care enough to keep it up in the present its all balls anyway
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