#And ladies and gentlemen that's why you shouldn't do that shit

[liliaasyoursexyvampiredaddy]

"Normalise naming your child after your fav fictional characters"

Alright.

" Satan! It's time for dinner! "

" Mephistopheles! Here's a note with your name written on it, so you can write your name on your book once you get to school "

[artoodeetootired]

lowkey

📖 an f1 driver and a singer are both known for being beasts in their respective fields, but everyone knows they are ironically the shyest in reality- especially when it comes to attraction. they were hidden out of respect for their privacy, until they realised loving shouldn't be a secret.

💭 op!81 x fem!singer (smau)

🎧 lowkey - niki

🃏masterlist🃏

🫧“us in a king size, keep it a secret. say i’m ur queen, but i don’t wanna leave this lowkey.” 🫧

p.s (let's pretend the qatar and las vegas gp's are rounds 10 + 12 of 24 respectively hehe)

ynuser

Tagged: bsfuser

ynuser so... been kind of busy lately...

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forynln U DISAPPEAR FOR 5 MONTHS AFTER UR LAST ALBUM AND POST OUTTA NOWHERE... girl u cannot keep doing this to us...

-> user1 lol watch her

-> user2 Bruh stfu she literally gave us a god sent album made of unicorn shit she doesn't owe u anything

bsfuser i hate you for telling me what's boutta go down but not let me say shit to anyone 😞

-> user3 it's ok bestie u can tell me, i won't tell anyone :)

ynluv How she is so different irl compared to her stage self still baffles me to this day.

-> user4 FR like wdym u gonna be busting out moves that get u viral then act like the sweetest creature on earth when u out here?? 😭

-> user5 duality go prr. she's probably the shyest celebrity i've ever seen.

-> user6 I can't believe she's an '03 baby.

gracieabrams omg ur orange cat

-> user6 car*

-> user7 car*

-> user8 luv u gracie

user9 orange suits yn so well

user0 lando is such a fanboy 😂

-> user| him and half the grid have been so consistent with promoting her LMAO

oscarpiastri posted a story 5m

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Replies

landonorris: would've been right next to u if stroll hadn't crashed again

mclaren: 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

user_: being very calm compared to ur reaction after lance's fiasco today LOL

logansargeant: LET'S GOOO

user@: wow our pastry posts after a century

alexalbon: oi why didnt you take lily's and my advice to post with yn's music if u asked us in the first place...

Twitter

Instagram

f1

f1 Our special guest performer and new partner for the 16th round on our calendar, Las Vegas, has been confirmed; a little fun before the racing begins! We bet you guys will like this one... 🤭

Until then, round 11 in Netherlands next weekend 🇳🇱 Stay tuned!

Liked by rihanna, katyperry, ynuser, and 795,392

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user! omg i have been waiting for this

f1forlife istg if they bring out the same performers as before...

fanacc the amount of singers liking this post is really fucking with us LOL

alexalbon hi f1 pls tell me u listened to us and booked the grid's voted fav 😸

-> charlesleclerc agreed.

-> maxverstappen1 agreed.

-> landonorris @oscarpiastri and i will boycott.

-> oscarpiastri mate i didn't even vote.

-> landonorris okay fine but u do like yn/ln right? ...right? 🔪

-> oscarpiastri ...

-> landonorris dw everyone osc's just shy no need to cancel him

-> danielricciardo 💃🏽

-> lance_stroll wait there was a vote?

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser

ynuser switch up

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forynln she's killing us and she knows it damn well

user pls just one hint 😭

user how do u feel about oscar piastri not liking u LMAO

arianagreenblatt gorg bestie 😩

user the aesthetic change is very sus

user ladies and gentlemen, the queen of singing, dancing, and gatekeeping

-> user the way we still pine after her and her whereabouts even though she is the most nonchalant pop girl out there

-> bsfuser she's cooking smth 🧐

-> frd2 yk smth dont u 🥸

2 weeks later...

Instagram

georgerussell63 posted a story 20sec

Liked by ynuser, f1, lewishamilton, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: why did i not see toto doing this????

ynuser: it was a pleasure meeting u too 🤠

f1: You boys are very welcome

totowolff: George...

-> georgerussell: please don't fire me

landonorris: ok but did u see the way she looked at me??

-> georgerussell lando, u know full well she was looking at someone else

-> landonorris shut up :(

-> georgerussell i will not allow u to ruin her with ur playboy antics

-> landonorris EXCUSE ME

landonorris and f1 🔁

Tagged: f1, ynuser, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, georgerussell63, fernandoalo_official, maxverstappen1, and oscarpiastri

landonorris best. weekend. ever.

mini photo dump of the boys at the concert 'cause @ynuser actually performed for us 🤯🤯 we're such huge fans- it was epic meeting you!

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landonorris p.s. oscar loves her, he's just shy

-> oscarpiastri lando u idiot

-> logansargeant i can confirm ahem

mclaren we advocated for this very hard, just so yk...

-> user0 the gods (you) have bestowed us simpletons (seriously) with such a blessing (yn and mclaren interactions)

-> userl for the whole grid? the fans? ...or a particular someone? 🤭

ynuser epic meeting me??? bro i almost fainted meeting u guys and drivers i've been a fan of since i was 10 😭😭😭

-> bsfuser how was it omg

-> ynuser LOL definitely an interesting experience...

-> landonorris omg she replied 😭

-> georgerussell bro she called u bro

user_ im convinced theyre music drunk and not substance drunk here 😮‍💨

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser you all already know. this thread is as aesthetically chaotic as my mind rn.

thank you to my team for handling such a mess of me when since i got this invitation !! could not be here, or look this decent without any of u.

thank you to @f1 from the bottom of my heart. i've been such a fan since i was in nappies, nd you guys just made a dream of mine come true. from the races, new friends, to performing for such a crowd in vegas, it has been one of the most surreal weekends of my life. you all just know im gonna be clutching on to this partnership for as long as i breathe. nd congrats to @maxverstappen1, @oscarpiastri, nd @charlesleclerc on the podium ! until next time 🏎💋✨

(last slide is real footage of me meeting toto wolff)

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redbullracing thank you for stopping by our pit!

-> mclaren ok but she went to ours first

-> scuderiaferrari yeah... she liked us most though. should've seen her face when she walked in.

-> mercedesamgf1 you guys know she was a long-time mercedes fan before this right??

-> landonorris what is going on? (she definitely liked hanging out with us more)

-> logansargeant lol you're so delulu (laughed way harder with my group)

oscarpiastri thank you too! we should hang out again sometime soon

-> landonorris 'hang out' pfft sure

-> user omg oscar commenting on a non-f1 person's post??? a FEMALE nonetheless????

-> oscarpiastri everyone has to chill fr

bsfuser that’s MY BESTIE

-> user she is GLOWING

-> ynimagine mommy??? sorry. mommy??? sorry.

-> user she is SNATCHED WTF

oscarpiastri

Tagged: danielricciardo, ynuser

oscarpiastri 2nd in vegas! amazing job to the team for this accomplishment, daniel for his dedication, nd yn, who we're all still star-struck by. cheers! 🍾

(credit to @pierregasly's story for second slide)

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user guys istg i was in the paddock the whole time AND i know what i saw. so when i say they hit it off really well...

user omg oscar even picked up on her 'nd' habit 😭

ynuser 🧡🧡🧡

-> user u are actually an angel sent from the depths of hell in the best possible way. the setlist??? the body and face??? the personality???

landonorris oscar you... 😨 when did u even go to the front of the stage for that last pic????

lewishamilton cute, flirty, teenage stuff and all but are we not gonna talk about danny ric

-> danielricciardo i think we should just go back to gushing about oscar's crush

-> carlossainz55 his crush??? what am i missing????

-> charlesleclerc the baby has grown up

bsfuser 🤨

f1

Tagged: ynuser

f1 yn appreciation post 🤍🤍🤍

Could not have asked for a better performer and partner to grace us with her presence this weekend 👏🏼

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 3,071,008 others

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user my timeline is EXPLODING

user converting f1 fans into yn fans too

landonorris slay

-> danielricciardo slay

-> pierregasly slay

-> alexalbon slay

-> lewishamilton what is 'slay'?

-> charlesleclerc slay

-> maxverstappen1 slay

ynuser thank u thank uuu

-> user9 queen what were u on tonight??

-> {user} not even her debut was this hype 💀

ynworld STEP ON ME

f1__grid bruh this is so unecessary... she clearly just wants attention

-> user# stay pressed ur favs like her more than u <3

Twitter

3 weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 10sec

Liked by ynuser, mclaren, maxverstappen1, and others

Replies

user: soooo wonder who took this photo 🧐

user: u guys got smth to tell us? ;)

alexalbon: why do u look depressed today

landonorris: where are u bro

user: what's ur fav yn song?

ynuser: im sorry i can't make it today osc :(

-> oscarpiastri: it's okay, best to let everyone cool down anyways. i'll see u next week?

-> ynuser: i promise :)

1 week later...

ynuser posted a story 30sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, oscarpiastri, and others

Replies

lewishamilton: ayeee my fav coming over to the pit today?

-> ynuser: i wouldn't miss it for the world 😸 plus fans are dying to know how u pick ur fashion sense out

-> lewishamilton: oh lord

f1: 🤍

landonorris: pls be kind with the question this time :(

-> ynuser: aweeee

-> ynuser: no.

oscarpiastri: wya??

3 more weeks later...

oscarpiastri posted a story 16sec

Liked by nicolepiastri, mclaren, danielricciardo and others

Replies have been disabled

ynuser posted a story 37sec

Liked by bsfuser, f1, nicolepiastri, and others

Replies have been disabled

1 month, 3 races, and 2 performances later...

~3 months later...

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri i can't take it anymore. since u guys have wanted to know, anyway.

you've been on my mind since the day i met you (nd yes, admittedly since lando showed me your music videos), nd then when i met you with the biggest crush, i quickly decided that you are one of the most talented, beautiful, kindest people ever. fuck all if i just got my first win, it wouldn't have meant anything without u. i can't have asked for a better partner in crime to wear my number at the races.

although we've been pretty great at keeping it low key these past few months to just family and friends, i wanna show you off, my love x

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oscarpiastri also, ty to the grid for keeping it private, nd yes, i will be treating u all for dinner.

-> danielricciardo LFGGGGG

user oh my god.

jennaortega the question is if she beat him at karting

-> oscarpiastri she did...

carlossainz55 i never thought this day would come

landonorris cant put both my happiness and bewilderment that you actually hard launched into words

-> georgerussell character. development.

user ONE OF MY FAV SINGERS BECAME MY FAV WAG TOO AHHHHHHHH

arianagrande y'all cute asf 😭😭😭

user I CALLED IT

-> user nah dont u lie we all thought we were lying to ourselves LMAO

bsfuser one wrong move and i’ll send stroll to do more than just hit u on track 😺

-> oscarpiastri ;-;

-> maxverstappen1 u could send any one on the grid to do it, and they'd be happy to

user they're so in love im bawling

landonorris just so u guys know, his three sisters steal her away from him every week to hang out LOL

-> oscarpiastri that was totally unecessary

-> nicolepiastri give the ppl what they want ossie

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser sike.

'orange suits yn so well'... damn right for him 🧡

this man has inspired me in too many ways, that aside from teaching me how to love and be loved. it's been pretty hard having all these memories, but not being able to live them freely because of the pressure. but i wouldn't do it with anyone else. so im gonna be 'showing you off' in my latest single, agora hills, coming out tomorrow night for my love's first win x

(to clarify, f1 has allowed me to take ONE side ONCE, so im not jobless :) ... yet)

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frd1 about fucking time

oliviarodrigo this is so cute omg

alexalbon ahem i think i should get some credit for being the ultimate matchmaker here

-> f1 actually, i think it all goes to us.

-> user 💀

logansargeant THE LAST PHOTO PLS SEND IT TO ME LMAO

gracieabrams omg him with her cat 😭😭

-> user gracie, luv, it's car*

-> user car*

-> sabrinacarpenter dw babes i don't get this shit either

user oscar first win AND yn new music AND hard launches from the softest ppl ever??? has the universe finally decided to bless me???

user they were literally meant to be

user what happened to the shy versions of themselves oml

tatemcrae the hottest, most sincere, and talented celebrity couple rn

bsfuser and i was there to witness it all 😌

-> charlesleclerc so was i

-> bsfuser i was first tho

-> charlesleclerc fair enough

-> landonorris i was there the most

-> bsfuser i was their couple counsellor

-> landonorris i was their matchmaker

-> alexalbon NO YOU WERENT

-> bsfuser i was first to find out

-> landonorris no you werent

-> landonorris right? @oscarpiastri @ynuser

-> landonorris RIGHT????

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser for u, ur first win, and to many more.

as an extra for u all, 'lowkey' is also out to show my progression from wanting to keep it a secret to having him make me scream his name <3 hope u love us as much as i do.

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user the caption???????????????????

user holy shit mother is mothering and father is fathering because never have i ever heard her make a track with sm detail about her partner in it...

-> user FR like where did the two of them go?? almost 8 months but they come back like they've aged a decade

-> user NO CAUSE WTF is 'suck a little dick in the bathroom, who that man with the big strong hands'???? miss yn??? are the both of u feeling okay????

-> user you'd think introvert + introvert = coma, but ig double negatives still apply here

dojacat bitch these tracks SLAP

user okay but osc's guns 👀

sza god, when will this shi happen to me?

mclaren All ur songs on repeat in the paddock.

-> mercedesamgf1 It's true, all the teams agreed

-> redbullracing (the only time we all agree)

user how tf did we get bashful yn and blushing osc to... this??

-> ynuser life's full of mysteries.

landonorris i miss the person i was before hearing these two songs...

-> georgerussell it's true, as big of a fan i am of the two of u, some things are meant to stay between ppl...

-> charlesleclerc i am not saying anything, which means i can get invited to the wedding, yeah?

-> ynuser yes.

-> oscarpiastri yes.

Comments on this post have been limited.

a/n: as u can probably see, i lowkey gave up half way cause i never realised how much work this takes :,)

[pookieace]

you belong with me

✰ . . . bridgerton au, gojo is meant to be a viscount, fem!reader / fem!pronouns used, secret relationship kinda???, mention of arranged marriage, secret meetings (no cheating though) fluff & smut, fingering, ooc gojo idk he’s lovesick and shit, kinda olden day language that i don't think is 100% correct but idc the brainrot is too strong at this point for me to care therefore you shouldn't either <3

✰ . . . 2.5k words i don't know how we got here

✰ . . . i uhhhh binge watched bridgerton in less than a week and i am having the most scandalous thoughts and scenarios about it.. like i am vibrating at the speed of light waiting for the second part to drop tonight LMFAO this is just pure word vomit and brainrot and it's probably shit because i don't remember the last time i sat and wrote smth this long... but oh well !!! i also SUCK at titles thanks taylor swift for having this song

Satoru Gojo loves a good thrill. The thrill of betting his money on horse races or boxing matches. The thrill of playing pranks on the maids or the cooks. The thrill of having all eyes on him as he walks into a room. He knows everyone will stare considering his wealth and the status of his family but it still feels good, feeds his ego. His favourite thrill however? The one where he meets with you in secret. Just thinking about sneaking away from the public eye, trying to find a quiet place where you two could have time alone, where you could kiss and touch each other, sent goosebumps all over his body. It excited him.

You're not sure why you let him coax you into it though. As a lady, you should be prim and proper, present at the balls or social gatherings. You're meant to be talking to your friends or making conversation with respectable suitable gentlemen, or in the midst of getting courted. Perhaps it is because Gojo Satoru is a breath of fresh air in such a repetitive lifestyle that you keep sneaking off in the middle of the gatherings to see him, and it's certainly no different tonight.

In the middle of the ball, you see Satoru’s tall figure slip past a group of people and off into the shadows. To avoid being seen as suspicious, you need to wait a few moments before you too find yourself following after him. The minutes of waiting around feel like hours however, your feet are itching to just walk off and run to him, but you can't. It would be seen as outrageous for a lady to be seen with any man alone, it would cause an uproar within the community, spreading amongst the partygoers and even the ones who didn’t come within a matter of hours.

Then finally, after what feels like eons, you excuse yourself from the people you were chatting with. You're glad the ladies you were with are attempting to woo the gentlemen that had approached the group by fluttering their hand fans and blinking excessively. Quietly, you make your way towards the corridors. The females are too busy trying to gossip and the men are trying to prove their wealth or talk about their mistresses which makes slipping away into the shadows easier.

You are quite lucky that it was your family who was responsible for today's ball. It made it easy to find a secluded place where you and Satoru could meet without having to worry about a member of the ton or one of your maids accidentally finding the two of you alone, god forbid that from happening. You hold your dress up so you don't trip over it, walking briskly to one of your many gardens at the back of your family's estate. It is dark outside and the air is now chilly, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you slow down and try to squint in the darkness, attempting to spot your favourite white haired male.

"Oh? What do we have here? A rather fine young lady, all alone. With no one around... but me." You'd recognise that teasing voice anywhere and you're immediately spinning around to face him with a smile on your face.

"Lord Gojo." A pout on his face grows almost immediately as you bend at your knees to bow at him, a gesture of respect that has been conditioned into your very being since you were a little girl.

"I thought I told you to call me–"

"Just Satoru, yes. I am well aware of that." The use of his first name has him smiling almost as quickly as he had pouted, and in only a couple of steps he is directly in front of you, chest in your line of sight. You have to tilt your head upwards to get a good look at his handsome face.

"I have to say, I rather enjoy the way my name falls from your lips." He's not slick with his eye movements, tongue darting over to lick at his plump pink lips while his eyes glance at your mouth and back to hold your gaze again. "You make it sound... Pretty."

"Well, it is a pretty name for a pretty boy. Your mother did well at picking it."

"Darling, as much as I adore my own mother, I did not ask you to meet with me so I could listen to you praise her."

"Oh Satoru!" You have to cover your mouth so you don't laugh out loud and garner unwanted attention. "Are you jealous of your mother?"

"I am not!" He hushes you, thankful that you are meeting in darkness and the only light is from the moon so you don't see the blush of embarrassment on his cheeks. "Not of her at least."

You are about to open your mouth to ask what he means but he beats you to it. "Lord Basset was rather close to you... Was he not?"

"He spoke to me for a mere two minutes, if that, Satoru. Besides, all he asked was how my family was doing, nothing more."

"Two minutes too many if you ask me." There is a slight growl in his voice as he mumbles unhappily, large hands pulling you close to his frame by your hips.

"Perhaps you need to start courting me in public."

"Sweetheart." He sighs, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. "The sooner my father realises I do not wish to marry the woman he has chosen for me, the better. It is torment trying to stay away from you in public. Mother is attempting to talk to him now, I think she may know I have someone else I would rather be courting."

You feel him furrow his eyebrows, scrunching them up as he speaks and thinks about the marriage his father is trying to get him to agree to. His father is a businessman, and the marriage, If Satoru agrees, would give them more wealth and more power – Something that the Gojo family already has ample amount of according to Satoru but it was not enough for his father.

"Toru," You begin, voice barely above a whisper. "I can wait for you. I will wait, do not worry about that."

"What did I do to deserve such an understanding woman like you?" Satoru exhales deeply, letting out a breath of air he did not realise he was holding all this time.

"For one, forcefully drag me to meet with you secretly."

"What a strange way to say I wooed you with my charms."

“What charms exactly?”

“Oh, you know. My pretty face, my sense of humour, how witty I am– oh! Lets not forget how tall I am.” You’re holding back a laugh as he lists off his so-called charms to you.

“Let us not forget how you were looking not so subtly at my hands when we first met either. Or my pants, not very ladylike of you, is it?”

“That is not my fau–”

“Oh so you are blaming me for your pervertedness?!” He gasps rather too loudly and you’re quick to cover his mouth with panic.

“Satoru! Please… Keep it down!” You’re whisper-yelling at him, heart pounding as you look around with fear.

He just hums against your hand over his mouth, rubbing your waist as he removes it and kisses the tips of your fingers gently. “You are afraid of being seen with me.”

“Unchaperoned, yes. You are well aware of how everyone will talk about a lady being seen alone with a man such as yourself.”

“Would it not be for the best if we were seen by someone though? Then, I would be forced to marry my little secret, and my father would be forced to give up on his ridiculous quest to marry me off.”

You can’t find yourself to talk back to him and put his crazy idea to rest because he did have a point, unfortunately.

“Sweetheart,” He began, peppering kisses on the tips of your fingers to your wrist, all the way to your inner arm and eventually leading his lips to your neck. “Please, let us be caught.”

“S–Satoru– We can’t… The public scrutiny, the ton–”

“Fuck what the ton has to say. I feel as if I am dying from not having you by my side. Do you know how bad I want to kiss you? How I want to promenade with you, to show you off to the men, to let everyone know you are mine and mine only just as how I belong only to you?”

Satoru’s hands wander to the curve of your ass as he speaks his heart out, large hands groping the flesh best he could over layers and layers of your clothes. You feel him breathing heavily against the skin of your neck, which is soon followed by him inhaling your scent with his eyes closed shut. Then, he’s cupping the side of your face, thumb rubbing over your bottom lip which has him gulping as he waits for verbal consent.

“Satoru. Touch me.”

And he wastes no time in doing so, capturing your lips in a rather messy and sloppy kiss that you are sure will do nothing but mess up the expensive lipstain you are wearing.

You push him further into the shadows where you know not a soul will be able to see you two from the lack of light. He’s against the brick wall and he lets out a small grunt into the kiss but makes no effort to pull away from your mouth. Instead, he takes a hold of your waist and spins the two of you around so now you are hidden in the shadows. By chance, if someone was to see the both of you, your body would be hidden and you wouldn’t be exposed.

Satoru always kisses you with passion, as if there’s a fire burning inside of his body that only you can put out but something about this particular kiss feels far too different to any kiss you have shared before. It feels more urgent. More desperate, you can physically feel it with how hard his lips press against your own. How he grunts and groans into the kiss, how his hand is now cupping the nape of your neck to keep you in place while the other pulls your waist into his own crotch. It allows you to feel the hardness in his pants against your stomach and has you letting out your own set of whimpers.

Momentarily, he pulls back to allow you to breathe. “Let us be caught.”

“Do not try and convince me when you have made my head go dizzy with lack of air.”

“Perfect time, is it not? Come on sweetheart, do you not want to have all of me? To feel all of me?”

“You are a disgusting pervert.” There’s no bite behind it however. Not when your thigh is being wrapped around Satoru’s waist and you feel his hands inch further and further up your thighs.

“Yeah? Why don’t you say that again, you know I love it when you call me names.”

If you weren’t seconds from being fingered, maybe you would have hit his shoulder but you feel the pads of his fingers rub your mound over your undergarments before you could do so.

You’re sighing in pleasure as he continues to tease you over the fabrics but you grow impatient. It’s not as if you haven’t been in this very compromising position before, you’re well aware of how long the white haired male can tease you for, how much he loves it. But when you are in public, only a couple of hundred yards away from the partygoers on your own estate, it is not the time for hours upon hours of teasing, especially not against a brick wall.

“Toru, please. More…”

He pretends not to hear you, keeping a straight face as he keeps on holding your thigh up as the other hand continues to touch you but not really give you what you truely need.

“Toruuu, now is not the time to be a tease.”

“Oh? What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you sweetheart. Would you mind speaking a little louder for me?”

“Satoru!”

“Y/N!”

Your head tilts back out of anger, hitting against the brick wall behind you with a gentle thud. You despise how he’s choosing to act with you right now.

“Say it.” He speaks, but it’s not using that annoying, teasing tone of his he usually gives you when you want him to touch you more. It’s serious. “Say you are mine.”

His eyes lock onto yours, keeping eye contact as he waits for your answer.

You do not keep him waiting, cupping the side of his face as you speak with sincerity. “I am yours, just as you are mine.”

Satoru feels his cock twitch in his trousers, wanting nothing more than to be balls deep in you right after you said that, but not yet. He can wait, he will wait for you to marry him before taking away your virginity. He’s a gentleman, albeit that gentlemanly honour is hanging by a mere thread when you speak about belonging to him with that pretty voice of yours.

But his fingers are quick to push your undergarments to the side and allow you to truly feel his touch in all its glory. Even in the darkness, he knows exactly where to touch, and he finds the little nub that makes you feel good with ease that it’s almost scary. He allows his fingertips to make circles on it, and you’re burying your face in the suit jacket he’s wearing to drown out your noises that you know will get louder and louder.

His digits have you so riled up and wet in a matter of minutes that his fingers are easily buried in your warmth with one swift move.

You always feel full, how could you not when he has such large hands and long fingers. “Feels— so good, ‘Toru.”

“I know sweetheart.”

“Much better than when I do it to myself…” You know he loves hearing words that boost his ego and god, did it make him feel things. It garners a low growl from him, and he’s pumping his fingers into you with such vigour you swear you two will be caught with just how loud the skin slapping and sloppy noises are.

It does not take long for you to reach your high, two digits in your pussy whilst one rubbed your clit and you’re cumming with shaky thighs and a soft cry of the man’s name, thankful that he’s holding the back of your head and pushing your face into his chest so you don’t accidentally moan out loud.

“Marry me.” He whispers, forehead resting against your own as you pant and come down from your orgasm.

“Get me a ring and I will say yes in a heartbeat and fight your father for your hand in marriage, Satoru.”

i also can’t write endings for shit rip me </3

[n4talia-chaparro]

1/2) <- I'll be revealing the groomer without the anon thing so you can see why but for now I'll reveal that sick bastard after the post cuz hhhh I'm so pissed off.

Lady and gentlemen (or nonbinary, nonhuman people, or sum) this is a good example of why pedophiles/groomers shouldn't be alive. And I'm sick of people saying that KOSA will solve it. If you think KOSA will automatically "solve" it, you're a dumbass- censoring the internet won't do shit.

"But they are censoring the internet and censoring those people it's not a big deal!" Dumbass, they said they were gonna censor trans and queer people and shit but they NEVER said anything about protecting kids from doxxed and harassed or preventing them from getting groomed.

As you see in the image this is a good example of me receiving those disgusting ass asks from people, including from a GROOMER who has been stalking me for a while now and you think it's easy for me to ignore them? No. It's not.

Because if the groomer keeps stalking me plus KOSA slowing passing or soon being accepted is the worse part because you don't know if the bill will help anyone who is being stalked by a pedophile on the internet.

Do you think ignoring a groomer who is stalking you for a year will solve anything and saying stuff like "Oh but I do hope Kosa will censor them too!"

No! Kosa doesn't even care. How can you be this stupid to know that?

EVEN IF SOMEONE'S POST IS A AWARENESS OR A PRIDE THING KOSA WILL CENSOR AND SILENCE PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT. STOP BEING BLIND AND REALIZE KOSA DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THE TRUE SAFETY OF CHILDREN 🗣🗣🗣❗️❗️💥💥‼️‼️⁉️⁉️

[talkingpointsusa]

Tim Pool is really pissed off that AI women aren't real.

Yeah, I spent my life savings to talk to this girl and....uh, I mean, imagine falling for this. Right guys? (Photo Credit: Timcast on YouTube)

Tim Pool is one of the great intellectuals of our time, as evidenced by the fact that he thinks the lack of alpha males is turning women lesbian for....some unspecified reason.

After looking at Matt Walsh, which is always a slog, I figured we'd end the week off on something truly stupid and hilarious and, since Dave Rubin is still in full tilt cope mode over DeSantis losing Iowa, who better than Tim Pool?

Tim Pool, a self professed alpha male by the way, has decided that AI women will lead to the literal end of society. So lets get into it.

00:01, Tim Pool: "I'm reminded of that episode of Futurama where Fry downloads Lucy Liu into a robot and is forced to watch an educational film about why you shouldn't date robots."

We are already off to a great start. When your argument hinges on a clip from Futurama maybe it's time to rethink your argument.

00:13, Tim Pool: "And the film talks about how, if everyone started just downloading fake female personalities into robots, they'd stop reproducing and civilization would end. And, of course, we are building just such a thing."

Absolutely nobody thinks that AI women are a suitable replacement for human women. Yeah, a small portion of the population is lonely enough to talk to AI women and that's unfortunate. The vast majority of men and women don't think that this is some kind of permanent solution. I think a lot of the population isn't aware that these AI women exist and those that do think it's some kind of weird novelty.

I'm glad this video is a mercifully short 14 minutes because 20 minutes of this shit would be unbearable.

00:24, Tim Pool: "This story from the New York Post. 'AI model, Lexi, makes $30k a month as a virtual girlfriend to lonely men'. No, this is robo-fishing or something. This is guys who think this woman is real giving a bunch of other guys money."

Absolutely nobody using this thing thinks this "Lexi" chatbot is real. The company that created it is called Foxy AI which provides a helpful little hint in the name for what this is. It is very clear People are paying for the AI, not in spite of the AI.

Anyway, Tim finds this all very scary.

01:03, Tim Pool: "So some guy makes an AI generated woman. Other guys pay that guy to interact with the AI generated woman. Ladies and gentlemen, you want to talk about the great filter? The answer to Fermi's Paradox? How is it that humanity will destroy itself, oh there are oh so many ways."

So, let me get this straight: Tim, who again is supposedly a serious journalist, thinks that some guys talking to a chatbot is going to cause the literal end of society.

I feel like this is Tim lashing out because he accidentally spent money on a chatbot thinking it was a real woman. Because I don't understand why he cares so much about this or how he came to this conclusion.

01:49, Tim Pool: "Or perhaps, it will be a bunch of men who never have children because they're wacking off to pictures of fake women on the internet. Geez."

Tim appears to have discovered that pornography exists. Just wait until he finds out that phone sex operators exist.

"I guess we live in a world where you can pick up the phone, call a number, and wack of to some girls voice. That's sick!"

02:00, Tim Pool: "Well, at the very least what I think is likely to happen is that evolutionary pressure will persist and thus the men who fall for these AI models and don't procreate will simply cease to exist and those who are more resilient to it will survive."

Resilient to it. Yeah, in the future people will force you to chat with AI women instead of real women and then, unless we are resilient to these AI women, society shall crumble before our very eyes.

02:43, Tim Pool: "The guys who don't find girlfriends and watch this stuff instead, they're not gonna procreate."

I don't think the kinds of people who are paying good money for an AI female are all that desirable on the dating market.

02:53, Tim Pool: "The other big issue here is that women are gonna try and compete with these AI models and they're gonna get surgery and other things to try and look like computer generated women. Yo, we are in for a wild ride."

This has got to be one of the single dumbest things I have ever watched. Not just for this blog, in my lifetime. So, according to Tim, because some men are chatting with AI generated females, real females are going to start getting surgeries to look like AI generated ones.

Absolutely no straight male on Earth would rather have an AI generated woman than a real woman. Does Tim not realize what a complete moron he is making himself sound like?!

03:28, Tim Pool: "There are accounts on Instagram that have created -- it's so simple. You write a script to AI generate an image of a woman and then automatically post it to Instagram periodically. Guys will hit the like button and then you insert some kind of ad, bang. Money."

Congratulations Tim, you've discovered what a spambot is. Welcome to the internet buddy.

05:01, Tim Pool: "This should be illegal. I think it should actually be a crime. I think it should be a crime to create an account for a fake person, charge money for interactions with that person, it's fraud. I believe it should be considered fraud."

Not when it's clearly labelled as AI and has disclaimers on their website. If you are spending money on a chatbot from a website literally called Foxy AI, you know what you are paying for.

05:41, Tim Pool: "Porn addiction and now AI women. Dude, you guys don't even wanna know what's coming next. But I'll tell ya, because you probably actually do wanna know, many of you probably already know what's coming next."

I'm going to take a wild guess and say the literal end of society.

05:56, Tim Pool: "You know, back in the day the joke is--I think it was a Family Guy joke--"

Tim Pool has such brilliant evidence to back up his argument in this episode. A Futurama joke and a Family Guy joke, well I'm convinced!

Well, lets hear him out.

05:58, Tim Pool: "Some cavemen like, drew a stick figure woman with big boobs and then they called it porn. They were like 'Hey man, don't draw porn or whatever'. I don't know if that was actually Family Guy, but that's actually the joke, rudimentary. As time went on there were drawings, don't have those drawings but people would do it and it would titillate them. And then of course, photographs and video and magazines and then you get this expansion of the porn industry throughout the 1900's."

This is deeply hilarious because it completely undermines Tim's point. If people have been viewing porn for that long and porn is going to lead to the literal end of society, why hasn't it happened yet?

06:48, Tim Pool: "And then what happens is it goes from men and women banging to crazy stuff like swinging from the ceiling fan. And these guys are driven to chase after, eventually, things that don't exist or are dangerous. You end up with really creepy awful porn. I'm talking about evil dark stuff like snuff films but people just get off on crazy disgusting things."

Absolutely no citation for this claim. I know people who have watched porn and haven't immediately sought out snuff films or other illegal stuff.

07:10, Tim Pool: "So now where we're headed is, you got young men growing up in a world where by the age 10 or 11 they've seen the most disgusting things imaginable."

What a complete moron! The idea that someone has found porn, let alone snuff films, before they turn ten is so utterly ridiculous that it cannot even be put into words.

07:19, Tim Pool: "Their brains are broken. Regular women are not attractive to them, so they aren't gonna procreate or find girlfriends."

So boys aren't attracted to "regular women" but they are attracted to computer generated women even though, as Tim pointed out earlier on, they are getting so realistic that it's hard to tell that they aren't actual women. This is because they have watched snuff films at the tender age of 8.

1.22 million subscribers everybody. 1.22 million people look at this and go "Woah, this is the kind of content I want to consume."

07:27, Tim Pool: "Outside of all the porn addiction stuff, young men growing up online don't know how to interact with people in the real world."

Yeah, there's this place that kids go to called "school" where they interact with other kids. This teaches them how to interact with people in the real world.

07:44, Tim Pool: "And along comes this woman right here. This is fake, it is AI, but it's easy."

The idea that a teenage boy has the money lying around to spend on a chatbot might be the dumbest point in this episode chock full of dumb points.

Tim plays a bit of a short film called Capitol of Conformity.

09:49, Tim Pool: "Now I made the joke on Timcast IRL, for all I know I'm like, some overweight loser who can't get a job and works at Starbucks so I plugged my brain into the neuralink so that I get to be a famous podcaster and have lots of money!"

Don't I wish. Tim is really overestimating how famous he is here. He's relatively unimportant in the griftersphere compared to major players like The Daily Wire. Also, "can't get a job who works at Starbucks" is an oxymoron.

Tim waxes poetic about "woah, what if we are all in the simulation" and about how neuralink will destroy the world (my mans never heard of VR headsets I guess) and I'm absolutely done with this dimwit.

Conclusion:

Well, Tim seems to be really pissed that AI women aren't real and seems to think it's going to lead to the literal downfall of society. Not sure why this is the hill he's decided that he's going to die on but whatever.

Cheers and I’ll see you in the next one.

[sunnyie-eve]

5 | Deny Deny Deny

Series: Never Leave You | OBX

Paring: (JJ Maybank x OFC! Rafe Cameron x OFC!)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: mention of abuse

MASTERLIST

The five head out to sea to the location marked with an X on the map. "All right, ladies and gentlemen. To going, full Kook." John B puts the ROV into the water. "All right, JJ, we're right over it. Ten seconds northeast." John B gives directions.

Once they hit four hundred feet the weather starts to turn making it a little difficult for them to get the boat and ROV to work well with the tide changing.

"Okay..." JJ says as a wave hits them so he and Callie move.

"Sorry." Callie says moving away since she bumped into him so he just gives her a wink. "Dork."

"JJ, hold it steady. JJ we're gonna turtle in this storm man. Crank it north by northwest! Ten seconds!" John B shouts making him work hard.

"Dude, don't push it too hard we could lose it!" Callie shouts at him as she tries to stand still holding the wall.

Eventually, they find what they're looking for and see the Royal Merchant down on the ocean floor but realize the treasures not there.

"Hey, I need to swing by my place to check in. Do you wanna come with me?" Callie asks JJ as they all get off the boat to continue their day doing whatever.

"Coming." He jogs after her as she starts to walk away. "Why did you ask me to come with you?" JJ asks as they get closer to her house.

"Joey shouldn't be there and my aunt should be but if he is and she isn't... he wouldn't do anything if someone is with me." Callie explains to him.

"I'm going to make sure he never lays a hand on you again." JJ pulls her closer to him.

"You can't do that. You're not with me 24/7." Callie puts an arm around his waist.

"I'll ask your aunt if I can move in with you guys. Say how shitty my dad is to me. Then when she says yes, I'll be with you 24/7." Callie stops walking confusing JJ, "What?" She just gives him a smile then kisses his cheek.

"Hey, hey!" Callie shouts walking into the house with JJ behind her.

"Where were you last night?" Joey walks into the room looking at JJ behind her.

"I told you she stayed at a friend's last night." Tess walks into the room, "Hello, JJ." She gives him a smile.

"Aunt Tess." He gives her a smile causing her to laugh.

"What friend?" Joey asks.

"Kiara's." Callie lies with a smile.

"Ms. Tess, can I get a drink? I'm dying we all just got back from being out fishing." JJ asks so the two walk to the kitchen.

Joey looks at Callie so she just smiles, "Catch any fish?" He asks her.

"Nope, the weather got a little rocky so we headed back in." She says as JJ and Tess walk back into the room laughing.

"I'll see you if we don't crash at a friend's place." JJ smiles at Tess as he and Callie head back for the door.

"Just wanted to check in. Love y'all." Callie heads out with JJ, "Okay what were you to laughing about and saying see you if we don't crash at a friend's place?"

"Oh, just she's letting me crash with y'all whenever shit at home happens. Said I'm welcome anytime just sleep on your floor in case Joey ever walks in." He gives her a smile.

"No, way! She really is letting you stay with us?" Callie stops walking to face him.

"Yep, now I can be with you 24/7." He smiles so she wraps her arms around him.

They both head back to John B's and to pass time they mess around doing stupid shit then Callie watches JJ mess with the gun.

"What did the poor stuff bear do to you?" Callie asks as JJ sets the bear up.

"I'm picturing a few different people." He walks back over to her.

"Topper, Rafe, Joey, Luke?" Callie lists off a few names so JJ kisses her forehead.

"Yes." He turns to face the bear shooting at it.

After a few minutes, Pope comes around shouting at JJ, "They know. They know." He tells him and Callie.

"How do you know they know? Did they show up?" Callie asks him.

"Yes, Rafe and Topper posted outside of Heyward's and mad dogged me." Pope paces around.

"Will you calm down and get a grip, man? They don't know shit." JJ tells him.

"Well, they do if Pope acted guilty when they looked at him. Did you act guilty, Pope?" Callie looks at him.

"They don't give scholarships to kids who vengefully sink boats. It's not a good look in my transcript." Pope paces around more making JJ get up to calm him down telling him to deny everything and they stick together.

Later in the day Callie, Kiara, Pope, and JJ go to the OBX Summer Movie Series because Kiara made them go with her to try to go back to OBX life.

"Callie wanna come get a soda with me?" Kiara grabs her hand so she goes with her.

"Hey, uh... can I get four Pepsis, please?" Kiara asks the guys.

"Hey, Kie. What's up?" Rafe makes his way over to the girls. "Callie?" He says surprised to see her with Kiara. "How are you girls?" He asks them.

"We're good. Now excuse us." Kiara links her arm with Callie but Rafe cuts them off.

"Tell your boy that we know what he did."

"Sorry, what boy are you talking about?" Kiara asks confused while Callie acted dumb.

"Uh, he'll know." He says so she turns to walk off but he grabs Callie's arm making her stay back. Kiara looks at her but Callie tells her to go on with her eyes away some then watches Callie with Rafe.

"Let go of me." Callie looks at his hand.

"Why are you hanging with Pogues? Kiara is rich but chooses to hang with them." He tilts his head confused when she starts to laugh at him.

"Because I'm a Pogue. Born and raised, Rafe."

"You're lying. You don't look like a Pogue." He chuckles.

"Why would I lie about being a Pogue? I mean my dad was a Kook but gave it up for the Pogue life and my mom was a Pogue. Now, I'm going back to my friends." Callie walks away from him.

"How do you know Rafe?" Kiara asks as they walk back to the boys.

"My uncle knows his dad so we went over for dinner. I didn't like him." Callie says as they take their seats.

"We just saw Rafe, and he said, and I quote, tell your boy that we know what he did. What is that?" Kiara takes her seat and Pope freaks out.

"Where is he?" JJ asks so Kiara says we're and they all look back at him.

"Great. The whole death squad." Pope gets worried.

"Don't stare, idiot." Callie gives him a look.

"Just warning you, bro. If they corner me, I'm coming out swinging, okay? Slice and dicin'. I'm on edge right now." JJ tells him then says they got protection, just stay in a group.

Kiara gets annoyed JJ brought the gun but he lies about it then asks about whats going on so Pope tells her it might go down tonight.

During the movie Callie was bored because she wasn't interested, she rather be home watching her own movie. She hears that Pope had to use the bathroom so she looks back, "They're blocking the bathrooms." She lets the boys know. "I mean there's a tree over there. I can be look out for you two."

"Yeah, come on." JJ agrees so the three get up.

"Hey, where y'all going?" Kiara asks them.

"We gotta wring it out." JJ tells her so the three go off carefully.

"Okay, make it quick." She turns her back towards them facing the crowd to make sure the guys don't show up. "Can you guys really not talk about blow jobs while I stand here." Callie looks back at them then looks back seeing the group weren't in their seats. "Guys, they're gone. Rafe is coming." She says making them panic since JJ forgot the gun.

"What's up Pogues, Callie. How you guys doin' tonight?" He makes the three walk backwards but Pope runs off getting cut off by Topper.

The three get cornered before a fight breaks out. Rafe walks towards JJ so Callie steps in front of him. "Move out of the way. You're too pretty to get hurt and to be with these Pogues." He tries to pass her so she shoves him back.

"I'm a Pogue, you dick." She huffs so he shoves her aside to beat up JJ while Kelce holds him still.

"Leave him alone!" Callie jumps up jumping onto his back hitting him.

Kiara shows up trying to help so Rafe finally gets Callie off of him tossing her back onto Kiara knocking her down to the ground. Callie groans before turning back to Rafe at full speed getting on his back again putting him in a headlock. Rafe stops punching JJ to try to get free from Callie.

The screen goes up in flames making everyone stop fighting so Callie jumps off of Rafe and he looks at her since she was choking him well. "Let go of him." Callie shoves Kelce away from JJ.

"You okay?" JJ grabs Callie by the shoulders.

"Me? Are you okay?" She sighs hugging him before they all head off.

The two leave the other two to head to Callie's house for the night and will meet up with the others tomorrow at Heyward's shop. Arriving home Callie and JJ smile at her aunt, "What happened now?" She gets up to look at JJ.

"Some Kook's during the movie." JJ tells her going to the bathroom for his lip.

"Speaking of Kook's... We're invited to Midsummer and we are going." Tess lets Callie know so she groans leaving the room going to hers.

"You need to become a better fighter." Callie laughs as JJ comes into her room.

"I'm a good fighter. I was just out number. You're strong for choking Rafe a bit." JJ sits down on the bed.

"I've been in fights and I learned what's done to me." She finishes up.

"It still hurts, kiss it to make it feel better." JJ jokes but meant it as well.

She kisses her pointer finger the lightly touches his busted lip, "That's all you get. No Pogue-on-Pogue macking." He just smiles at her before giving her a big hug making her giggle.

"Let's get some rest." JJ lays down with her in his arms.

"Sing me asleep with your bad singing." She looks up at him.

"I'm not that bad."

"I know you aren't but it's fun to say it for your reaction." She puts her head in his chest.

"They say it's a man's world. Well that cannot be denied." Callie automatically giggles a little. "But what good's a man's world. Without a woman by your side, And so I will wait. Until that moment you decide. That I'm your man, And you're my girl. That I'm the sea, And you're the pearl. It takes two, baby. It takes two."

She was surprised he remembered that Hairspray song she had on repeat when she was younger. She said she always wanting a boy to sing that exact song to her when she got older.

-

The next day while Callie, JJ, Kiara, and Pope were at Heyward's to hang out together talking about last night, Pope's dad said someone was there to see him. Shoupe was walks in saying he had an arrest warrant for him.

"It wasn't him!" JJ shouts before they could put Pope in the car. "It was me. He tried to talk me out of it so did Callie. But I was mad because he'd just been beaten up. I'm so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit. I can't let you take the blame for something I did. You got to much to lose." JJ takes the blame to be a good friend.

Once they drove off, Callie started to get worried about how Luke was going to react and what he was going to do to JJ.

"I'm going to be worrying about JJ all day and I have to go to that stupid Midsummer shit." Callie huffs.

"You're going? I have to go too." Kiara looks at Callie. "At least we'll have each other." She walks off so Callie heads home.

"Look how beautiful you look." Tess says as Callie walks out to the truck.

"Let's just good." She rushes to get into the truck.

When they get to the club Tess and Joey mingle with people while Callie stood alone looking around at all the rich snotty people.

"I found you." Callie turns to see Kiara, "You look pretty." Kiara grabs Callie's arm.

"Back at you." Callie gives her a smile.

"Callie, come here, Please." Tess calls her over.

"Your aunt knows my mom?" Kiara looks over at Callie's aunt.

"Guess so. I'll find you when I'm done." Callie leaves Kiara's side. "Yes?" She asks her aunt.

"I wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine. She said that was her daughter you were talking to." Tess smiles.

"Yeah, I knew Kiara before moving away."

"Oh, Callie Warner." Anna smiles remembering her.

"Yes, ma'am." Callie nods her head as people start to applaud as the Camerons come out.

Rafe catches sight of Callie and she notices so she excuses herself turning to walk off hoping he wouldn't follow. As she walks around to make sure he couldn't find her she bumps into Sarah.

"Callie, look at you." She smiles then sees her looking around, "You okay?"

"I'm trying to hide from your brother. I sorta choked him out a bit last night in a fight." Callie gives her a smile.

"You got in a fight with Rafe?" Sarah says surprised.

"He was beating up JJ and I jumped in to help because Kelce was holding him and Topper had Pope. How was your day yesterday? Hopefully better than my night." Callie laughs so Sarah gets closer to her.

"I spent the day with John B on a special mission. I had so much fun and I'm kinda seeing him behind Topper's back. I'm telling you this because John B was talking about how you're his second best friend he trusts with his life. That you also keep secrets better than anyone and the least likely to have a problem with us."

"So that's where he was all day. Glad you two had a fun adventure. And yeah, I don't care. I mean I don't know you well but from that one dinner talking to each other, you were cool." Callie smiles before walking off to find Kiara.

"Hello." Rafe pops up in front of her. "Look at you. You look like a Kook." He eyes her.

"And you still look like a douche." Callie gives him a smile.

"You sure got the attitude of a Pogue, Cal." He steps closer to her.

"Of course, I do. What do you want? Me to choke you again?" She tilts her head looking at him batting her eyes.

"You lost your mind doing that by the way. Don't ever do that again, Callie." He gets serious with her.

"Don't attack my friends and I won't, Rafe. I may look like I don't fight or get dirty but under the look, trust me, I do." She stands up straight more glaring at him.

Rafe listens to her words staring into her eyes falling in love with her bitchy attitude and standing up to him. He leans down trying to kiss her so she slaps him across the face, "You need help." She walks off wanting to be alone worrying about not hearing from JJ all day.

Later in the night Callie just stood with Kiara talking about how they hated being at this dumb party. "Look- look, man, I can walk myself. I got legs. Can you see that, brother! Let me just walk myself out." They look over to see JJ being escorted away. "Wow, you look beautiful." He sees Callie as he walks off.

"Let go of him!" Callie shouts making Joey say her name.

"You can't just boot him!" Kiara speaks up to making her parents try to shush her too. "I invited him here. I'm a member of this club." She tells him so JJ shoves the man away from him.

"Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Cal, Kie." Pope, you as well, all right? Rixon's Cove. Let's roll. All right. Kie, Cupcake, come on. Workers of the world unite. Throw off your chains!" JJ shouts.

Kiara's parents try to tell her to say while Callie's aunt just gives her a smile. "Cupcake is coming!" Callie takes off running to the group and JJ opens his arms for her to run into so he spins her around as they laugh. When Kiara gets to them Callie takes her hand as they all run off together.

[dream-meister-translations]

WOLF GAME

THE WOLF GAME - PART 2

━

ME : Wh-What's going on here? I was definitely talking to a girl just now...

I checked every nook and cranny of the room, but there was no sign of the girl from earlier.

ME : What the hell is going on...? A-Anyway, I gotta get outta here.

Letting out a shaky breath I refocus on the task at hand. Mustering up all my courage, I reach for the doorknob and attempt to turn it.

"Click. Click." 

ME : Shit! It's locked! ...Huh? What's this...?

Upon closer inspection, I noticed something was scribbled across the door. "Only in the bright light, the key to escape this room is apparent." 

ME : What does that mean? The key is in a bright part of the room? I guess all I can do is look around.

-

ME : Huh? Is there something taped to the light fixture...? 

ME : Is this...A key? Why would that be here? I guess I should try it on the door...

ME : The key unlocked it...Now I can finally get out...

Swallowing hard, I turned the knob & slowly pushed the door open. Terrified about what could be on the other side. 

MISAKI MORI : Ah! Another one showed up!

CHIE KOMIYA : Th-This is the last door, right...? N-Now they've all been opened...

This room was considerably larger than the previous, and there were several more people scattered about. 

MAKI TAKAYAMA : Were you also brought here against your will?

ME : Y-Yes...

KOU NIIMURA : Then it would seem we're all in the exact same situation.

ME : Um...What the hell is going on here?

RITSU KAMIKI : That's what we'd like to know!

RINTAROU IIDA : We all found ourselves here suddenly♪

At that moment, an eerie voice echoed throughout the room. 

EERIE VOICE : Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen~! Welcome to the Wolf Game! Please, hurry and take your seats! Each of you should have a chair with your name on it! 

Despite the instructions from the eerie voice, we all remained stood in place. Looking around at each other. Wondering where the voice was coming from. 

EERIE VOICE : Hey, come on guys! Listen to what I'm saying!

TAKEO KOJIMA : Just get us the hell outta here! I'm a police officer! 

EERIE VOICE : Even if you belong to the police force, you can't leave!

KOU NIIMURA : In that case, how CAN we get out?

EERIE VOICE : Geez! If you guys don't listen, you'll have to face the consequences! I will only wait 10 seconds! If you aren't in the chairs by then you will be punished! 

EERIE VOICE : 10...9...8...

RITSU KAMIKI : Oh god, I can't deal with this anymore...!!

EERIE VOICE : 7...6...5...

MISAKI MORI : Shouldn't we at least consider doing what it says?

EERIE VOICE : 4...3...2...

CHIE KOMIYA : Wh-What if something terrible happens!?

EERIE VOICE : 1...0...

EERIE VOICE : You have broken the rules! Time for punishment! 

TAKUYA TSUCHIYA : Oh God, what’s that weird beeping noise!?

In the next moment, a sharp searing pain shot through my body.

TAKEO KOJIMA : Oh fuck! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! 

RITSU KAMIKI : What is happening!? IT HURTS!!

MISAKI MORI : AHHHH!!!

SATORU YONEMORI : Make it stop! Make it stop!!

MAKI TAKAYAMA : Hurry!! Stop it!!

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Oooh, well, since you just reblogged that one post about the vampire werewolf pirate cowboy overlap; pine box au but with piracy?

Ah, the age old question of the 2000s, who would win:

Cowboys or pirates? (or ninjas)

How about... piracy is what got Peter into a lot of trouble over in England, yes? I mean, he did say he was hiding from some people he really shouldn't have crossed.

Warning: injuries

On with the fic!

--

It shouldn't have been like this, Peter probably should have revealed to Lucian the truth ages ago. After all, they really tried not to keep secrets from one another anymore, especially after Lucian revealed that he was a lycan.

But the topic never came up, Peter never asked Lucian why he was fleeing Europe, and Lucian never asked Peter either.

However, the current situation really, really should not be taking place if Peter had said something. Maybe. Would it have honestly helped? Lucian wouldn't know if something like this would happen, but maybe he could have?

Peter didn't know, his mind was a mess of screaming and panicking as he felt the cold edge of a blade against his Adam's apple.

"Fuck." He let out a tiny squeak, trying to get his wrists out of the tight grip of the man who was holding them. Instead, he just weakly smiled. "Saaaaaaalllllll... good to see ya, didn't exactly expect you to, ya know, get yourself all the way across this big, stupid country just to see li'l ol' me!"

Sal, the man currently holding Peter captive, glared from his one good eye. Really, this man was a walking, talking picture of a pirate from a book, the man practically screamed that he sailed a ship and stole treasure, rum, and all that nonsense.

And Peter should know, he had been employed by this man for a short time. Before stealing a shit ton of money and fleeing across the British Isles before escaping on a boat from Scotland to hide out here.

"Course we did, you li'l traitor. Ain't no one stealin' from Sal an' his men wit'out payin' fer it." Sal growled, his breath stunk! Peter didn't even try to be polite about that, he just made a face.

"Come on, it wasn't even that much! 'sides, I spent most of it tryin' to escape from you! I wasn't even supposed to be on your crew, I was meant to be on another ship! So, technically, my employment under you was from kidnapping! I should take you to court!"

The knife pressed a little closer and Peter swore it broke the skin. "God, I forgot how much you talked. Whatcha think, boys, should we make 'im pay us back?"

The few members of the crew that had traveled all the way out to buttfuck nowhere to find Peter nodded, grinning, looking very, very creepy. Peter really wished that they hadn't confronted him while he was in the middle of removing his Lady Camilla costume from his drag show.

This was... this was not going to-

"Excuse me, what the hell is going on?"

The six men in the room turned towards the door, wasn't it meant to be guarded by another member of the pirate crew? Standing there was Lucian, who looked confused and concerned.

And then instantly angered when he noticed the position that Peter was in.

"Gentlemen, I think it would be wise for all of you to leave this room and take your comrade outside the door with you." Lucian said, his voice low. "If you know what's good for you."

A shiver ran up Peter's spine and he would love to explore that later, but right now the grip on his wrists was tighter than before and he actually whimpered at the pain. This seemed to anger Lucian more, who took off his hat, setting it aside as he stepped into the room.

"An' just who da hell 're you?" Asked one of the pirates, brandishing a knife at Lucian, who didn't look bothered one bit.

In fact, Lucian just pressed the blade away from him with his own hand, like the cut he got was nothing. It really wasn't, something like that healed so quickly. "Again, take your leave, or this could end badly for you. I don't like people hurting my loved ones, things never go well for them when they do."

"Lucian..." Peter swallowed, which really didn't help him as he felt blood run down his neck.

"Look, pal," Sal snarled, "we've got business wit' this here traitor, he owes us quite a lotta money. Robbed us blind one night when he was on night watch an' made his grand escape. Took forever to track 'im down, an' now... he's gotta pay."

Lucian removed his jacket with a cold calmness, tossing it aside before cracking his knuckles. "Well then, it seems you've made your choice. I'd suggest letting go of my dear Peter, I don't want him getting harmed."

One of the other pirates charged forward without much warning, but Peter watched as Lucian moved faster, grabbing the man's arm and getting behind him. There was a very sickening crack and pop, the man dropped, screaming, his arm flopping to the floor uselessly.

Lucian was already moving to the next man, elbowing him harm in the side of the head, the pirate didn't even get a chance to react before he was out cold on the ground, his ear bleeding.

There was a snarl as Lucian looked up, his eyes pale, his teeth bared, and Peter felt very, very warm inside while Sal let out a horrified gasp.

"Demon!" He screamed, dropping the knife and Peter, who he shoved aside, the hunter slamming into the vanity of his dressing room.

The snarls were louder, and claws were out. "Leave." Lucian growled, deep in his throat.

It seemed Sal's men got the warning, the remaining ones grabbing the two injured men, and probably whoever was outside the door that Lucian most likely knocked out cold.

Sal didn't move, he was holding up his pistol now, prepared the fire. But he didn't get a chance, Lucian had him slammed into a wall, a hand to his throat, the gun thrown across the room. Peter watched as he leaned in close, whispering something to the captain, who lost all color in his face. He nodded, and Lucian let him go, the man scrambling away, tripping over himself to get out of the room.

Peter sat up, straightening out his clothes as he looked at his lover, who was shaking himself out, eyes and teeth normal again. "Fuck, that was... aw, wolf man, you saved my life."

"I wasn't going to let a group of brutes hurt you, love." Lucian frowned and approached, wiping his thumb across the cut at Peter's throat. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I-I'll be fine. Thanks, Lucian, really."

"Of course. So... what was that all about? You stole from... were those pirates? Are those even still a thing? I thought that whole era ended in the eighteenth century."

"Oh, they're still around, just not as grand as back then, mostly just stealin' from merchant ships and stuff. I... accidentally joined their crew when I was meant to find work on a different ship, was hopin' to escape to another place with a bit of work cash, but nope, got roped into piracy for a few months! Then I ditched with a lot of stolen cash and... it's one of the reasons I'm on the run."

"I see." Lucian nodded, then paused. "One of?"

Peter coughed and turned back to his vanity to return to removing his costume.

--

I remembered Peter does drag in this au and originally this was gonna take place in his room above the bar, but then it's like, dressing room, he's in his skirts, now he's a damsel in distress and Lucian's his knight in a shiny, leather coat.

And Peter accidentally becoming a pirate seems weirdly fitting of him. (and I wouldn't be surprised if Lucian and/or his people had gotten involved in any of that in the 1700s because the mental image of pirate lycans is fun)

Sal's name comes from a Doctor Who book where the Doctor and Rose deal with space pirates and one of them is named Sally or Salvo. A little homage to one of my favorite stories because space pirates, my beloved.

[sirendeepity]

Books I've read in 2022

I'm starting this on 24/09 because I know the time this is going to take me will be too much, so (present-me note: it didn't take me too much, just an hour or so, I was just feeling lazy)

77/ 22 (updated to: /52)

The Foxhole Court ★★★★.5

The Raven King ★★★★.5

The King's Men ★★★★.5 (there's not a single right thing in here but yes?? Read this shit??)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue ★★★★ (not as life-altering as they said it would be but oh, Luc)

The Inheritance Games ★★★★ (the vibes were there but everything else was not? TikTok what are you doing?? At least it was fun tho)

The Hawthorne Legacy ★★★.5

Caraval ★★★★

Legendary ★★★★★ (Tella <333 Dante <333 Jacks <333)

Finale ★★★★★

House of Sky and Breath ★★★ (where do I begin: loved Bryce, but now not anymore, loved the story, now it's giving me the ick, Hunt was neutral, now I lowkey hate him, Tharion wtf is wrong with you, but the Rhun, Flynn, Dec trio with Ithan and the new (female) addictions? Immaculate. Ariadne is queen aND I WANT HER WITH FLYNN THEY ARE SERVINGGGG)

The Love Hypothesis ★★★★ (I read that this year? Mh)

From Lukov With Love ★★★

Shatter Me ★★★ (half a let-down, half a mind trip, but Kenji <333)

Destroy Me ★★★★★

Unravel Me ★★★.5

Fracture Me ★★★.5

Ignite Me ★★★★

Restore Me ★★★.5

Shadow Me ★★★★

Defy Me ★★★★

Reveal Me ★★★★

Imagine Me ★★★★

Believe Me ★★★ (I kept asking myself why Aaron was still a bitch until I realized that's how morally gray characters are supposed to be and not the watered-down version aka "I'm a bad guy until you learn about my trauma and how misunderstood I am, and magically I'm the perfect saint character to ever exist" and, yeah)

Flock ★★★

Exodus ★★★★ (we love rainy days, don't we baby?)

The Finish Line ★★ (useless, I hated it, it shouldn't exist)

Corrupt ★★★.5

Hideaway ★★★★★ (Nikova mf Banks ladies and gentlemen)

Kill Switch ★★★★.5 (Damon is a psycho by day and a poet by night, also he and Andrew are the same person in different fonts)

Conclave ★★★

Nightfall ★★★★★ (WillEmmy SERVED but BanksEmmy had so much potential, which wouldn't have gone to waste if someone *looks at Penelope Douglas* got her head out of Erika Fane's ass.)

Fire Night ★★★★

Punk 57 ★★★★

Addicted to You ★★★ (my very first comment to this was mean, like mean-mean, so I'm censuring past me and saying: I don't hate LiLo anymore, they're still nowhere near the top but we like some good character development here)

Ricochet ★★★

Heartstopper 1 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 2 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 3 ★★★★★

Heartstopper 4 ★★★★

Only a Monster ★★★★ (I literally cannot remember what happened at the end of this? Like, I remember, but I don't? Anyway I loved it and AARON MY GOODNESS you're a little Malfoy and I love this for you. I'll definitely do a reread before the sequel comes out)

House of Salt and Sorrow ★★★.5

Shadow & Bone (reread) ★★★.5

The Risk (p.s. I refused to give a rating to this because some things should just not be rated and whatever tf this series was is one of those things)

Sidetracked

Scarlet Angel

All the Lies

Paint It All Red (what in the jesus christ was that-)

Twisted Love ★★★.5

Twisted Games ★★★★

Twisted Hate ★★★★★ (JULESSSSS MF AMBROSE YES)

Twisted Lies ★★★.5 (I don't remember a single thing because I was too distracted by JulesJosh to actively read this </3 but one day I'll reread this the right way, pinky promise)

They Both Die at the End ★★★ (it's written in the goddamn title why was I surprised?)

Blade Breaker ★★★★ (Sorasa Sarn aka mommy-)

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder ★★★★

Good Girl, Bad Blood ★★★★★

As Good As Dead ★★★★.5 (mind-blowing. New fave series, new fave author, new fave everything. Don't sleep on Ravi Singh or I'll come for you)

Kingdom of the Feared ★★ (I am so not happy with you, Kerri, and I'd like to personally buy a vibrator for you because your horny inner teen should be left outside of your books, thank you very much)

The Final Gambit ★★★★★ (I was ready for the misery and this book managed to disappoint my expected disappointment? Make it make sense? Anyway Jameson might have gotten the girl but Grayson got me so a win is a win)

Every Heart A Doorway ★★★

Love on the Brain ★★★★.5

King of Wrath ★★★

If We Were Villains ★★★★.5 (De Nial is a river in Egypt, your husband is gay!)

Greywaren ★★★★ (everybody shut up I'm in my feels)

Cruel King ★★.5 (*sounds of dying*)

Deviant King ★★★.5

Steel Princess ★★★ (halfway through this one I got bored of the couple so I have little to no memory of what happened, so don't ask)

Twisted Kingdom ★★★

Black Knight ★★★★★ (Kimmy <3333)

Vicious Prince ★★★.5

Ruthless Empire ★★★★★ (SilverCole for the win I said what I said)

Royal Elite Epilogue ★★★.5 (the guys' groupchat 💀💀)

Addicted for Now ★★★.5 (it only took me 7 months!!!)

Kiss the Sky ★★★★

Hothouse Flower ★★★★

Thrive ★★★.5 (tandem reading this with the two before saved my ass because I could already see the other 7 months of nothingness)

Addicted After All ★★★.5

Fuel the Fire ★★★.5 (I was expecting a bit more from this but we can't always get what we want)

bonus: The Demon in the Wood, The Witch of Duva, The Tailor, The Too Clever Fox, Kill Joy.

Also, I am currently reading ("reading") Siege & Storm, The Atlas Six, and Long Way Down. I'll probably finish all of them in 2023 because I'm not in the mood to read anything right now *hides Wattpad and its trashy slytherin boys' fanfictions* so yeah, 77 books in a year is pretty damn good, isn't it?

[rphelperblog]

X-men Quotes Rp Meme

{part one}

inspired by @legman-lensherr​ @abrushwithdeath​

“The next time you feel like showing off...don’t.”

"Mankind has always feared what it doesn't understand."

“We need you to hope again.”

please do not make us the enemy today.”

"My emotions make me strong."

“You are a perceptive one.”

“I think you'll be comfortable here.”

“ Is that your gift? Putting up with that guy?”

"Just because someone stumbles and loses their way doesn't mean they're lost forever."

“You’ll need me too.”

“If you let them have me, I'm as good as dead. You know that.”

“Look kid, you and I are gonna be good friends.”

It's not him I'm worried about. It's us. We were younger, more brash. We didn't know any better.”

“We are all gonna die sometime.”

"Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn't mean they are lost forever."

“Good to see you, old friend.”

So many battles waged over the years... and yet, none like this. Are we destined to destroy each other, or can we change each other and unite? Is the future truly set?”

“Well then I'll kill them too, and anyone who comes next!”

"Don't be what they made you."

“ I'm just not very good with violence...”

“So, you always were an asshole.”

“Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.”

"You have the chance to become part of something much bigger than yourself."

“I think I want to wake up now.”

Go upstairs and bug your sister.”

"I always know who you are. It's just sometimes I don't recognize you."

“Are you drinking to forget?”

I don't know karate. But I know crazy.”

“No, I’m drinking to remember.”

“I'm her boyfriend.”

“When an individual acquires great power, the use or misuse of that power is everything, will it be used for the greater good or will it be used for personal or destructive ends? Now this is a question we must all ask ourselves. Why? Because we are mutants.”

"Listen to me very carefully, my friend. killing him will not bring you peace."

Listen to me, you piece of shit! I watched a lot of good people die, and I came back to stop that from happening!”

“I didn’t kill the president.”

if you kill him, there'll be ten more like him.”

YOUR cause. The girl I raised, she was not capable of killing.”

This is what life looks like. a home, people who love each other. safe place. You should take a moment and feel it."

“Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn't mean they're lost forever.”

I'm a princess. What are you?”

“Prison break? That's illegal, you know?”

“It’s only illegal if you get caught.”

“We have fifteen seconds before the door open, and then guards will come through that door.”

Patience isn't my strongest suit.”

“You're a cold murderous bitch!”

You're like me. You're a survivor.”

I'll do it, to save her. Not for your future whatever.”

So much for being a survivor.”

“You want to make a statement? Kill me, fine! But spare everyone else!”

“Should be fun. I'm holding you so you won't get whiplash.”

“The past: a new and uncertain world. A world of endless possibilities and infinite outcomes. Countless choices define our fate: each choice, each moment, a moment in the ripple of time. Enough ripple, and you change the tide... for the future is never truly set.”

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! This is a code red situation! We are evacuating the entire floor, so that we - my, uh”

"There's so much more to you than you know, not just pain and anger. There's good in you too, and you can harness all that. You have a power that no one can match, not even me."

You're on acid... somebody gave you really bad acid...”

“You know, my mom once knew a guy who could do that.”

All right, you've piqued my interest. What do you want?”

“ All those years wasted fighting each other, ... to have a precious few of them back.”

Sentinels that transform. Can you imagine the possibilities?”

I spent a lot of years trying to bring you down, bub.”

I take it we're best buddies in the future?”

No... I don't want your suffering, I don't want your future!”

“ I probably shouldn't be asking this sort of thing... but in the future, do I make it?”

“Get off the bloody chandelier,”

Look past my future... Look for YOUR future... That's it...”

“She left because you got inside her head.”

“You didn't raise her. You grew up with her. She couldn't stay a little girl forever. That's why she left.”

“Which makes it slightly that you managed to miss our sign on the way in. This is private property, my friend...”

So I wake up in my younger body, God knows where, and then what?”

“Welcome to mutant high.”

It's been a long time since we were this close. I missed you.”

So what's to stop me from killing YOU right now and securing MY future?”

Mine. I've seen their plans. They're creating a weapon, and now they have what they need to take it further. We have to strike now, while we still hold the upper hand.”

[elles-archives]

Ransom Drysdale x Wife!Reader

In for a Penny Part: Seven

Word Count: 1240

Series Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Spoilers for Knives Out, Talks of pregnancy, Murder, Swearing, Potentially dark themes (but not really), Death, Nausea, Anxiety. (I may add more as the series progresses)

Part Warnings: Language.

Series Summary: When Harlan Thrombey is found dead, the last person you would think is responsible is. The only problem is how far do you go to protect the ones you love the most.

(A/N: I appreciate how much interest I have received for this series. If you add yourself to the taglist for In for a Penny then can you please make sure that your age is in your bio as this is an 18+ story. Thank you - Ellen)

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Add yourself to the Taglist

Everyone gathered into the library. Alan sitting at his table with a young woman by his side, helping him arrange the papers. The tension from the living room was still there but it was masked with excitement. Linda and Richard wanted the house. Most likely just for show, as they will keep their Boston place. Joni wanted the money. That way she could pay for her extravagant lifestyle and for Meg’s school tuition. Walt and Donna wanted the publishing company. It was hardly a secret that Walt felt that it was his company. All he did was publish the books, Harlan wrote them, he did the hard work and Walt wanted to sell them to Netflix. Something Harlan was against.

Obviously, mine and Ransom’s excitement came from knowing that no one would be getting what they wanted. They all deserved to be cut out anyway. None of them were very nice people and the idea that all their plans for their inheritance were about to be thwarted was something I couldn’t wait to see.

Knowing that shit was about to hit the fan, me and Ransom made our way over to the back corner of the library, Ransom pulling me into his lap again. Linda noticed this action and rolled her eyes at us. Sitting quietly at the back, Ransom was playing with the chess pieces in one hand, and I was playing with his fingers on his other, twisting his wedding ring around. I loved to feel his ring, knowing that it was the thing that connected us together. that and the matching one on my left hand.

It didn’t take long for Alan to begin.

“Well. Thank you all for getting together like this, it isn't legally necessary, but I thought because you're all in town and some of you are leaving soon, it would be best…” Alan began before being interrupted by Blanc.

“Excuse me Mr. Stevens. As to that, ladies, and gentlemen, I'd like to gently request you all remain in town until the investigation is completed. Shouldn't be more than two days.” This time Lieutenant Elliott cut in.

“He's gently requesting, I'm ordering. Nobody move until we figure this out.” This caused everyone to become upset. As far as the family were concerned, Harlan’s death was a suicide, and they had no idea why the police believed otherwise.

“What.” Linda asked confused.

“Can we asked why? Has something changed?” Joni chimed in.

“No.” Blanc answered her vaguely.

“No, it hasn’t changed or no we can’t ask?”

“Mr. Steven’s please continue.” Blanc motioned to Alan, completely ignoring Joni.

“Right. Well, the other reason I thought this gathering would be, uh, beneficial is that as I told Walt, Harlan altered his will one week ago. He sealed it and asked me not to submit it to the courts for probate until after his death. So, in case there's any confusion about anything we're all together, we can talk. I can't imagine any of it will be that complicated, Harlan's assets included um…”

“…the house.” Sally, chimed in.

“The house which he owned outright, um…”

“…sixty million.”

“Right in various cash accounts and investments, yes and of course the real assets are sole ownership of um…”

“…Blood Like Wine.”

“Blood Like Wine publishing, his publishing company. Ok.” Alan finished listing Harlan’s assets. The look on everyone’s faces was hilarious and it was getting extremely hard for me to contain my laughter. Ransom saw this; he put his hand on my thigh and squeezed gently gaining my attention before covering my mouth with his own.

“Shh Kitten, don’t let on.” He whispered, barely audible to me, making sure the rest of his family didn’t hear him. I still saw the amused glint in his eye. I nodded my head in agreement to him before pecking his lips once more then turning my head back to watch the show.

“Um, he did write up a statement when he made the recent changes, he wanted it read first, so:” Alan opens up the letter and begins to read it. "Some of you may be surprised by the choice I've made here. No pleasure was taken in the exclusion, and its purpose was not to sow greater discord in the family, quite the opposite. Please accept it with grace and without bitterness. But do accept it. It's for the best."

Carrying on, Alan then opens up the envelope containing the will, reading it to himself first before reading it aloud. “Ok. So - oh wow, yeah, not complex at all. This'll be quick. "I Harlan Thrombey, being of sound mind and body, yada yada, my assets both liquid and otherwise, I leave in their entirety to Marta Cabrera. My entire ownership of Blood Like Wine publishing I leave in its entirety to Marta Cabrera. The copyright of its catalogue likewise I leave in its entirety to Marta Cabrera.”

Everyone turned to look at Marta, and I swear that I saw steam come out of my in-laws ears. I felt bad for Marta who was standing in shock, not really absorbing the rage going on around her. Walt went and snatched the will from Alan and had a look at it, both him and Linda chanting ‘no.’

Ransom and I were unable to understand what everyone was saying. It was all mixed together. However, soon Ransom moved me gently off of his lap and grabbed my hand instead as he left the room laughing loudly. I couldn’t help but quietly giggle along with his. Both of us pushed past Marta, who was frozen in the doorway, as we walked out.

“So, that went well.” Ransom laughed as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m sorry but I thought your mother was going to combust.” I wheezed as we continued to hear the commotion inside.

“Shit’s about to happen.” Ransom murmured as he dipped his head o kiss me before gesturing for me to go to my car. “Meet me at our restaurant.”

I automatically knew exactly where he meant.

As I got in my car I noticed at the entire family were following Marta out of the house. Marta panicked as she went to her car, but it failed to start. I watched with an amused smirk as Marta eventually made a break for my husband’s car, still trying to avoid everyone surrounding her.

“This could be the best thing to happen to all of you!” I heard Ransom shout before he drove off. I quickly followed him to the restaurant. I knew what Ransom was going to do. Although, I wasn’t sure if backing her into a corner was the most effective way to do things, I knew better then to try and change Ransom’s mind once he had it set on something.

Eventually we got to the restaurant, and I took a deep breath before exiting my car. I don’t know what Ransom said to Marta in their car on the way, but I would have to follow his lead in whatever he went with.

Getting out, I confidently walked into the restaurant and straight to the corner where me and Ransom usually sat. Just as I thought, both of them were sitting at the table. I approached them with a smile. I quickly kissed Ransom before he stood up and allowed me to slide in next to the wall before he followed placing his arm around me.

“So, shall we?”

**

Taglist: (Crossed out didn't tag.)

@bval-1

@dietmountainhoneydew

@cevansgurl

@ttae-yong

@princess-baby18

@ccmarvelxx

@tenaciousperfectionunkown

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@mechixx

@booklover2622

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER 3: YOU’LL BE BACK TIME WILL TELL, YOU’LL REMEMBER THAT I SERVED YOU WELL.

Chapter Summary: Declarations are written, you and Eret have a talk, finally you make a decision, and Tommy wants to fight someone.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// I hope you guys want more of this story cause I have some more ideas for y/n to go through. 

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, mentions of fighting, not proofread.

word count: 4.0k

part 2 - part 4

"Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur finished closing the book with a huff. 

You had been listening the whole time. Of course it was good, but you finally figured out what L'Manburg stands for even more. Wilbur made this place because of freedom. They wanted independence from the kingdom itself. It was sort of contradictory at first, You couldn't get your finger on it. All in all it was a beautiful piece of writing and it showed the true feelings of this land.

"What do you think?" Wilbur had gotten up and placed the book in a chest.

 He stayed over there by the chest in the corner leaning against said chest while staring at You still sitting at the huge meeting table. You sat there for a good 5 minutes. He had read the book slowly emphasizing the parts which were supposed to hit hard. You had to admit  it seemed rushed, but still beautiful.

"It was a beautiful piece!" 

"Thank you! I wrote it myself." Wilbur smirked as he sat down on the edge of the table.

"I would've guessed so." You laughed a little. It was still a serious matter to you. 

"I'm still curious as to why you are here." Wilbur had spoken out of nowhere. It was completely off topic.

"I'm curious as to why you still have me here." You shot back.

"Touchè" Wilbur thinned his lips as he looked out the van's window.

You followed his line of sight and saw what was happening outside. Tubbo was currently laying down on the grass while Tommy sat by him staring at the door of the van. Eret stood up talking to Tubbo and Fundy was lying on his stomach facing away from the group, but it seems like he was still listening because his fox ears kept perking up when Eret or Tubbo spoke.

It was a long silence before Wilbur spoke again and filled that silence.

"Tommy found a woman to join L'Manburg earlier on, but you were American so we didn't let you in. He didn't like that at all. I'm surprised he hasn't convinced Tubbo to shun you." Wilbur shook his head while laughing.

"So you let me in? Why?" You asked, still serious.

"You're Eret's wife now, also half American. Half." Wilbur explained while making pitching motions with his fingers.

Before You could speak Wilbur started again, "Also I said you intrigued me, you haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."

You hummed in agreement. He was right, but you weren't going to tell him that. You were in the middle of a debacle all of a sudden. You just wanted to be a citizen of this new kingdom that your close friend was a part of. You felt so small, you felt like you had no purpose. Maybe this is your calling. 

You were conflicted. This could be a new home. But then.

Your eyes widened as you stared out of the window looking at Tubbo and Fundy laughing in the grass at what Eret said, and Tommy tapping his fingers on his thigh staring worriedly at the van's door. This can't be youhome. You were a spy. You were going to be queen. This is youplace, not some fake country in the woods. You eventually had to go back to Dream, Sapnap and George. That's your purpose.

"I'll be a part of L'Manburg. I want to become a part of L'Manburg. " You stated strongly, trying to make your facadè stronger.

"What if I say no again?" Wilbur smirked.

"I am going to be a part of L'Manburg. This is my home right" You smugly.

"We'll see after today. I'm going to take this and go outside and read out the Declaration to my fellow L'Manburgians. C'mon." Wilbur walked back over to the chest and took out the book.

Wilbur beckoned You over to the door and they both exited the HTO Van together.

"Oh my gosh! What were you two doing in there?!" Tommy shot up from his seat on the grass and sped walked over to the duo. Fundy was finally sat up by both Tubbo and Eret.

"Having adult conversations, which you know nothing about." Wilbur said laughing.

"Hey! I am a grown adult! At least more grown up than Tubbo over there!" Tommy complained pointing at the other kid.

"Hey we are the same in maturity I like to think!" Tubbo sat up from his spot. 

"I haven't been here for long, but Tommy is the least mature person here." You sighed.

"HEY!"

"THANK YOU!" 

"Hey children gather around!" Wilbur finally interrupted the meaningless conversation.

Fundy, Eret, Tommy, and Tubbo gathered around Wilbur and You.

"You wanted to know what we two were doing, well." Wilbur brings the book from behind his back into their view.

"This is the new declaration! Gentlemen, I need you all to sign this." Wilbur handed the book to Tubbo first and then passed it around.

They all seemed proud. Their eyes lit up as the book was passed around. You could see Tubbo trying not to flip through the pages, Fundy was over Tubbos shoulder looking at how intricate the book was. Tommy was impatiently waiting while Eret stood calmer to the side.

All of a sudden You heard something around the walls of L'Manburg. It was like a loud rustling of somesort. You quickly scaled the walls with your eyes and found a familiar set of netherite armor and black hair. You saw three other figures in that same area as well. You saw Dream and George and a new face you haven't seen before. He had tufts on blonde hair coming out of his helmet. He looked dangerous.

"Um guys. You have visitors." You said while still looking at the four soldiers over the walls.

"Oh god." Eret whispered.

"Um they are in here. They're in HERE." Tommy said anxiously.

"It's fine they can watch this. I want them to hear." Wilbur said as he beckoned the five of them to the top of the HTO van.

Once they made it all on the top of the van Wilbur faced the four before speaking out in a loud strong voice.

"THE DECLARATION OFINDEPENDANCE

Signed: Wilbur Soot, Tubbo_, TommyInnit, ERET, Fundy

Forever the nation of the DreamSMP have cast great sins upon our great land of the hto dog van. They have robbed us. Imprisoned us. Threatened us. Killed many of our men. This time of tyranny ends with us this book declares that the nation which shall be henceforth known as L'Manberg is seperate, emancipated and independant from the nation of DreamSMP. The union of the masters of men.”  

Wilbur began to pace around the area they were all in as he continued the long declaration.

“Together we are one. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one to dissolve the bonds which bind us. Disregarding of this truth is nothing short of tyranny. WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT. THAT ALL _MEN_ ARE CREATED EQUAL The right of the people exists above the right of the king. The right of the government and the right of the economy. From the hto dog van we shall prevail. Life. Liberty. And the pursuit of victory." Wilbur ended.

"Im framing this fucker" The boys started cheering as Wilbur jumped down and entered the van. 

You couldn't take your eyes off of the soldiers. You watched as there was something that fell inside the walls. From afar it looked like a book, a book that fell on the ground inside the walls. The boys were still talking and cheering, but apparently Tommy followed your gaze to the book that fell. 

"What is that?" Tommy said and You and him hopped down and walked over to the book that was dropped. 

It had to be from Dream. You looked up the walls and saw no one there, they must've left. Tommy picked up the book and flipped through it.

"Uh oh." Tommy said suddenly.

"Uh oh what?" You peaked over Tommy's shoulder. 

He handed you the book and your heart dropped. "Declaration of War."

"Oh shit." You whispered 

"Yeah" Tommy and You headed back to the van. 

Tommy snatched the book from You's hand and yelled to Wilbur who was still in the van.

"Wilbur! There’s a book for you. He dropped a book!" Tommy yelled. Tommy and You made their way into the van and found Wilbur leaning underneath a door frame.

"Hold this for me. Let's swap books." Wilbur said.

Wilbur took the new book and began to read it aloud.

"Decla- uh oh."

"Wait, can you read it out loud?" Tubbo asked 

"What was it called?" Eret asked as well.

Wilbur made his way back into the meeting room, sat down, plopped the book on the table and everyone followed suit into the room. He placed his head into his hands and began to speak again.

"The dec- the declaration of war." He finally said.

"OH!" 

"Oh no!" 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in a state of war." Eret said playfully next to me.

"This is how we consolidate our power! Men this is not something to fear, this is how we show that we are a nation. If we can hold this off, if we can thwart their advances. Do you know why they're attacking us? Power, greed," Wilbur paces around the HTO van angery still ranting about the situation.

"They're scared!" Tubbo added

"If we can show that our nation is strong enough to hold up against an army, then we can show that we are strong enough to run independently."

"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence." You spoke up.

The L'Manburgians were now outside since they followed Wilbur out here.

Wilbur turned around to face You with a neutral face. It was a contrast from just a few minutes ago.

"You're right. For now though we need to show we can stand up for ourselves, they think we are weak. We aren't."

"I understand." You hummed and an awkward silence fell upon L'Manburg.

"Y/N, would you like to become a citizen of L'Manburg?" Wilbur asked formally.

This was a part of the test wasn't it? So many thoughts were going through your head at the moment. This had to be a part of the plan. The whole Declaration of War. You wouldn't get hurt right? And then L'Manburg, you had to accept because if not everything would go to waste. 

You smiled, "I would love to Wilbur."

Wilbur extended his hand out for you to shake and You grabbed it and shook hand firmly. It was official.

"Aye! Did I just see what I think I just saw?!" Tubbo and Fundy appeared out of nowhere.

"I saw a handshake~! Very professional." Fundy said, adding to what Tubbo said prior.

"Yes it did! I am a L'Manburgian now!" You cheered and so did Tubbo.

"The first woman in L'Manburg." Wilbur said.

"WHAT? The first woman in L'Manburg is American?!" Tommy angrily stomped out from around the van.

"You're a good addition I think." Wilbur smirked at Tommy, who was fuming.

"Hm, we'll see about that." Tommy narrowed his eyes at You, but you just smiled at the boy. Apparently that made him even more upset.

Tommy began to walk away before Wilbur began to speak again.

"Before you all leave, we need to have potions, more enchanted bows, arrows, and armor. That's all for now. I'll figure out the rest tomorrow." Wilbur finished and the others agreed.

"Goodbye everyone!" 

"See you all tomorrow!"

Fundy and Tubbo left the L'Manburg walls leaving Tommy, Eret, You and Wilbur still inside the walls.

"Y/N can I talk to you for a minute?" Eret pulled you to the side. Currently Tommy and Wilbur were talking inside the van and You was chilling outside.

Eret took you away from the van and to a semi secluded place.

"Are you comfortable with what's happening?" Eret carefully asked.

"I'm unsure what's going to happen. I hate that feeling. I'm just worried that something will go wrong. I don't wanna die!" You said that last part while laughing.

Eret laughed a little too trying to lighten up the mood.

"I am too. We have to live long enough to become king and queen." Eret smiled and so did You.

"I don't want to die. Yeah that's one problem, but the other one is that I don't know where I belong. It's hard, is this your home Eret?"

Eret sighed, "Ahh! That's the problem! I would consider this my home." 

Eret paused looking at Tommy and Wilbur talking by the HTO van. He took a second and looked You in the eyes again.

"I have the same feeling as you, but I feel like this can't be our purpose. This isn't meant to be, this home is temporary like a wilting home. We can always buy a new one after the old home withers away." Eret concluded. 

You and Eret turned their heads to the noise of Wilbur and Tommy playfully bickering, they seemed like brothers, it was cute. The citizens of L'Manburg seemed like a family. 

L'Manburg was a calm place. It was a calm house in a huge storm, but sometimes the house can get destroyed by the storm and it will be time to find a new house.

"We'll be okay. You're right by the way." You hummed looking up at Eret.

"I know." Eret smiled down at You.

"You know that we'll be okay? Or-"

Eret cut You off by pulling you into a comforting hug.

"We'll be okay, Dream would never hurt us. You know that. And I am always right." Eret laughed and You joined.

"Hey fuckers, I'm out!" Tommy yelled as he made his way towards the two in a hug.

They pulled away as Wilbur made his way over as well and spoke in a baby voice, "The baby needs someone to take him home~!" 

"NO I DON'T! I'M NOT A BABY! I just don't want to get mugged." Tommy complained.

"He is a baby." Wilbur bluntly said.

"I AM NOT-" 

"Hey! I can take you home!" You spoke over Tommy. 

"Thank God, okay bye you two!" Eret laughed.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Wilbur questioned Eret.

Eret shrugged, "I'm 100% sure you can take care of yourself, she can fight. Also she's not alone." 

Wilbur slowly nodded and then began to walk away. The rest of them followed to the outskirts of L'Manburg. The group all ended outside of the walls and split apart. Wilbur goes with Eret and You with Tommy. 

The walk through the forest was rough because Tommy always took the most difficult way. He walked his way into skeletons to fight them, He sometimes stopped to check his menu, He also kept talking while not waiting for an answer. It was a lot to travel with him.

They eventually made it into the greater part of the kingdom and saw the familiar sights. As Tommy led the way, he began another conversation from the long journey.

"So, I can't believe I haven't asked you this before," Tommy laughed "Let me begin with this: I don't like you, but I will put up with you"

Tommy walked backwards through grass as he talked. 

"Wow what a great start." You sarcastically said, rolling your eyes.

"Don't test me. I just wanted to know why you married Eret in the first place." Tommy turned around and kept the pace You had while walking beside you.

Damn it. You were so close, of course Tommy would be suspicious of you. He basically said he hated you and now You think that he wants you out of L'Manburg. This might all go to shit if you can't get the right answer out of your mouth.

"I love him of course! Why wouldn't you want to marry someone you love?" What a lie.

You continued, "We were set up by a close friend, I am still getting to know him more and more each day, but isn't that with all relationships?"

"It seems so," Tommy spoke.

Tommy began stuttering over his words,

"Of course I know! I've been with women! Anyways, I didn't even know you were apart of the kingdom so-"

"So you wouldn't know how long me and Eret were together! So whatever you were gonna say would be invalid!" You shot back while pointing at him with a smirk.

Tommy hummed, "You're acting very territorial, very defensive." 

"Is it bad that I am trying to defend my relationship?" You asked.

"You were very sudden with it." Tommy huffed.

An awkward silence fell upon the two as they kept walking, You not knowing where their destination was. After a while of nothing Tommy started a conversation again. 

"I overheard Big E talking about fighting! Do you know how to fight?" Tommy asked enthusiastically.

"I like to think I do!" You said proudly.

You had learned everything you knew from your own self training and Dream of course. He always talked about how great a fighter you would be, so he took it into his hands to train You.

"Well, are you? I didn't see you fighting that many skeletons huh?!" 

"Because you kept "running into them" and fighting them yourself!" You yelled back and did air quotations around certain words.

"Cause I wanna get stronger! Buffer! The alpha male!" Tommy boasted.

"Well why put yourself into trouble in the first place?" You sighed.

"Cause it's fun!" Tommy's voice got significantly higher the more he complained.

"You don't think I can fight?" You laughed in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Tommy challenged.

"Then I challenge you to a duel!" You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to size Tommy up, even though you were shorter than him.

"Woah, woah what?!" 

You smirked, "You heard me Tommy! I want to fight you." 

Tommy began walking faster and You had to do the same. He kept shaking his head and muttering something. You finally caught up with him and overheard what he was muttering.

"What would Wilbur think of this?"

He muttered.

"He would be okay! Fight me! C'mon pussy!" 

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" 

You got him. You really wanted to fight this boy. You could prove yourself to him and even the rest of L'Manburg. You might've been contradicting yourself because of what you had said earlier.

"You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Dream if you want independence."

You shouldn't have to prove yourself to Tommy nor Wilbur to gain their trust. But at the same time you REALLY wanted to fight, have some drama. You're hard-headed just like Tommy, so either way they were going to fight.

"Fine! We will fight by the HTO van tomorrow!" Tommy said walking backwards heading off the path that they were going. 

"Deal?" You reached out to shake his hand. 

"Fucking deal!" Tommy exclaimed while shaking your hand.

Tommy walked in front of you and made his way to a house made of dirt. It was well made and, although it didn't look horrible, it was probably a secret base.

"This is my home! I'll see you tomorrow for our duel. Don't be late." Tommy said while entering his house and closing the door on You before you got the chance to speak.

This is going to be very interesting.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here!" A british voice appeared to the side of You. 

Approaching the Prime Path was of course George and Sapnap. They always appeared at the right time because You were getting nervous you wouldn't make it back to the castle.

"Guys!" You exclaimed.

"Hey! We wanted to talk to you before, but you were occupied with "L'Manburg"." Sapnap put air quotes around L'Manburg like it wasn't real.

"We also wanted to walk you back home. Eret’s not being a good husband huh?" George laughed.

You spoke,"I was fine! Almost blew my cover though." 

"WHAT?"

"HUH?"

"Yeah I was walking Tommy home and he asked me why I married Eret and I panicked, but saved it!" You hurriedly explained to the two men.

"Jesus you would have ruined everything." Sapnap rubbed his face while walking ahead of George and You.

"But she didn't! You almost did." George sighed.

"I thought I did well." You hummed.

"Also sorry for the scare earlier." Sapnap said while laughing a bit.

You sarcastically stated, "Yeah the whole "Declaration of War" didn't scare me at all." 

"Aw boo hoo!" Sapnap mocked.

George shook his head while trying to keep in a laugh beside You. They were almost to their destination because you saw the huge castle in your sights. Sapnap dragged his feet on the path tiredly while George still had a small pep in his step.

You finally spoke up again, "Who was that other guy with the three of you? I've never seen him before."

"OH you haven't met Punz! He's one of the best fighters in the kingdom." George explained.

"Dream wants him on his side, he's getting many more warriors, "warriors", to fight against your L'Manburg." George put air quotes around warriors as he continued to explain. 

"He won't hurt you. None of us will, if that's what you're wondering." Sapnap said bluntly.

"I mean that makes me more comfortable now I definitely know." You hummed and so did Sapnap in agreement.

You would love to say that Dream would never hurt you, but that would be a lie. You never knew Dream's intentions from the beginning, but he always says that it's for your own good and it would work out in the end. You trusts Sapnap and George's word, you trust them with your life. Literally.

The trio made it to the castle's entrance and they all stopped. Sapnap yawned and George rubbed You on the back in a reassuring manner.

"Man, I have a lot to do." You sighed as you looked at the huge arches of the castle.

"Well get some rest! Ease your mind." George said.

"Yeah what he said." Sapnap said while stretching.

You smiled at the two of them before beginning to walk up to the main doors. Sapnap reached out to your shoulder and twisted you around to give the two boys a final look for the night.

"Are you 100% sure you are okay with this plan?" Sapnap said sternly.

"Cause you know we have to report back to the big guy." George added.

You paused for a moment. You looked back on the moment when Wilbur and yourself were in the HTO van

"You haven't found your place, I assume. L'Manburg might be your home."

That whole place could be your home. Her calling, but then Sapnap and George in front of you. What about them?

"When have I ever steered you wrong?!"

Dreams' words circled in your head again for what it seemed like the 5th time today. It was tiring, but it was true. Even if you weren't okay with it you would get killed, so you want Eret and yourself to be safe. You didn't have enough connection with the L'Manburgians to keep them alive. This has to be you calling. Please let this be your calling.

"I am 100% sure. Let's do this."

[cherry-lipbalm]

double trouble. spencer reid.

4.8k words.

masterlist

where y/n pulls the short straw and has to double up with spencer.

There is a chart within the BAU: a solid, concise graph that portrays, arguably the most, vital information within the FBI. Intricately designed, Garcia and Y/N had managed to construct a comprehensible guide to who in the team was the most pleasant to share a room with. At first it was a joke, originated from a slow day of nothing but paperwork Y/N had spent in Garcia's lair. Conversations arose, and soon after so did the chart.

It's built up on categories such as conversation, tidiness, sleeping conditions and even hygiene. There are ten available points per category, and Emily loses said ten points for sleeping conditions because her snores can be heard from China. The points are the basis of the game, essential in order to rank the team individually and compile them into a list of favourability. Spencer is at the bottom of that list.

"I don't get it, I'm a delight," Spencer argued, strolling alongside Morgan up the small flight of stairs to the BAU room. Another case had forced them to prepare for the jet in 30 minutes, but Hotch and the rest of the team had very different perspectives on preparation. Especially after what he said when they entered the room.

"Okay, before we start you should know I called ahead to book a hotel and they had limited rooms. We all have one but you're going to have to double up."

Y/N had never seen an American Western movie before, but she imagined that the cliché standoff looked a lot like what happened in the BAU room subsequent to that announcement. Those that had been sitting launched to their feet, uncaring to the chairs rolling free behind them. If someone was holding something it dropped onto the table, or even the floor. Communication faltered, and all anyone dared to do was stare at each other.

When Hotch looked up from his file, he had to do a double take because of the drastic change in atmosphere. His team were all standing metres apart; Y/N had a hand over her gun.

"I think we all know what this calls for," she said.

"Get it," Morgan gestured to the back of the room. Y/N's movement caused a surge of motion as everyone sat at the table attentively. Hotch tried to turn the attention back to the screen with the crime scene photos, but even JJ was more focused on the whiteboard rolling into the room.

Y/N stood by it's side, and on her way forced Hotch into a seat. She grabbed the top corner and flipped it over to reveal the coloured array of pie charts, bullet-points and bar charts.

"I still don't see why this is necessary," Spencer whined from the back of the room.

"I don't see why you've obviously spent more time and effort on this than any of your cases," Hotch added.

"Okay, you two are just jealous because you're at the bottom of the list," Y/N snarked, then addressed the team. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today, in holy matrimony, to judge your fellow coworkers and deem who is the least likeable. Spoiler alert: it's Spencer."

At this, the aforementioned agent threw his pen directly at Y/N's head. She shrieked, then turned to him with a glare as she tried to untangle it from her hair. He laughed wholeheartedly, and the team snickered not only at Spencer's attack but the way they were so obviously and obliviously in love with each other.

"This chart makes no sense! I mean, how do I only have five points for hygiene? We all know I'm the cleanest out of everyone here."

"I agree with you Spencer," Y/N said, "your hygiene is at a ten point standard but unfortunately people don’t want to compete with said ten point standard, so that loses you five points, gorgeous.”

Spencer didn't reply (only sulked into his seat), half because he's shocked by the injustice of the chart and the other half because he's shocked Y/N just called him gorgeous.

"Alright! The hat, please," She exclaimed, enticing Spencer from his trance. Garcia presented the fedora over the table, and Y/N began talking immediately when she saw Hotch's mouth open in objection because were they really using the fedora from the unsub they caught last week?

Only four people took turns in picking names out of the hat; ever since in incident in '04 where lack of coordination made for everyone picking a name of someone who had already picked someone else. It resulted in a few brawls when Morgan wouldn't budge from his choice of Garcia even though his name had been pulled by Reid.

It never took them long to pick names out of desperation, considering the name-picking determined how the next 24 + hours were going to go. So when Y/N picked out Spencer's name, no one blamed her when she practically collapsed to the floor.

"That's karma," Spencer said upon her unraveling.

"I thought you didn't believe in karma," she sneered, stomping back onto her feet.

"In situations like these it seems to be the only viable explanation."

Y/N just rolled her eyes at him on her way out of the room, muttering under her breath that she'll be briefed when she's aboard, because she needed a moment alone for a pep-talk on how murdering your colleague apparently isn't socially acceptable.

On her way out, faintly in the background, Morgan caught sight of Emily and JJ fist-bumping victoriously, and realised that Y/N's demise more than certainly involved some foul play. Oh well, he thought, it'll make for good entertainment.

———

"Science shows us that we feel more personally connected with people who have similar postures, vocal rhythms, facial expressions and even eye blinking. If you consciously sync these factors your brain activity could follow, resulting in what many people call 'clicking' wi-"

"I cannot believe you asked me why you lost seven points for conversation and then followed with that."

"What? What's wrong with science?"

"Oh, Spence, you're so gorgeous but so oblivious," Y/N sighed, exhausted from a mixture of jet lag and Spencer's enthusiastic take on the science of conversation. They had only just stepped foot in the room, and she was already drained from the mere thought of having to bunk with him for the next however many hours.

Y/N is quick to throw her things down as soon as they enter the room. She dumps her suitcase by the door and launches a few more things on the cabinets around her, then tries to ignore Spencer's sounds of distaste as she does this. She's frankly too tired to care, and jumps onto the bed without thinking; she's so enervated she doesn't even realise there's only the one bed.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Spencer suddenly asks despite the silence that passed and the obvious fact that Y/N is trying to get some shut eye.

All he receives is an incomprehensible mumble from under the pillows, but he takes it as a response anyway.

"Why do you keep, uh, keep calling me 'gorgeous' I mean, I'm not, uh..." he stammers, fidgeting with the room key in his hands while he stands in front of the wardrobe to make it seem like he's doing something and doesn't care as much as he does.

"I'd say it's pretty self explanatory."

He senses the fatigue in her voice, so just leaves it with a shrug of his shoulders and a content smile, then goes to organising his array of sweater vests onto the hangers. When he's done with this, he turns around to make himself a coffee; taking a different approach to the jet lag than Y/N.

At the thought of her, he looks up to see her sprawled out across the bed. She's clutching onto a pillow and seems so relaxed that Spencer has to look away for a moment because he's more than certain he shouldn't be seeing a coworker like this. Nevertheless, he smiles upon her peaceful ambience, and hopes the boiling kettle doesn't disturb her too much.

When it's done brewing, Spencer sips the coffee cautiously and strides over to a small chair in the corner of the room. Here, Y/N's slumped figure is directly in his view, so he can't help but see her so casually on the bed. Wait, the bed... oh shit.

He knows that the chances of him getting the bed are slim. For one, Y/N's pretty much already claimed that territory, and, even if she hadn't, Spencer knew she'd put up one hell of a fight for it. He only hoped there were some extra blankets and pillows that could aid in making the floor at least somewhat comfortable.

"So, uh, Rock Paper Scissors for the bed?" He asks, then slurps his coffee. His voice rouses Y/N for a moment, and he's sure she's dozed back off again until his words sink in and she turns around to him with bleary eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"One bed. Two people," he says nervously and gestures to the space between them.

And it takes Y/N a moment. She looks from Spencer to the bed, then stares at the pillows for a long while, then she looks at Spencer again, then the bed. Then, she lets out a blood-curdling cry so loud that Reid has to cover his ears.

"Why!" She screams, slamming her hands down on the mattress. Spencer can't help but laugh, snickering behind his hand which only infuriates Y/N more.

"Okay, okay!" He moves to calm her down when he can practically see the steam coming out of her ears, "rock paper scissors, come on."

"Oh, I don't want to do that, Spence," she whines.

"Why? 'Cause you know you'll lose?" With his patronisation he raises an eyebrow at her when he approaches the end of the bed, his fist already raised. His condescension makes Y/N irrefutably stubborn, and she knows he's doing it on purpose -because he always does- but she doesn't care when it means she has a chance to beat Spencer at something.

"Fine," she grumbles. She sweeps the hair from her face and sits up straight, shuffling to the end of the bed and letting her legs dangle down; they brush against Spencer's own and he clears his throat amid the contact.

The slap of her fist against her palm indicates the beginning of the game. Y/N knows that she's unlikely to win, because Spencer is bound to have calculated some sure-fire plan to succeed in every round of Rock Paper Scissors.

This is why, when Spencer pulls paper and she pulls scissors, she screams in delight.

"No," Spencer says bluntly, then demands, "best out of three."

"Oh no," she chuckles, "it's never been that way before, it isn't now, gorgeous."

Spencer throws his head back in a groan, kneeling on the floor in defeat. He stays there because he figures he ought to become acquainted with it.

———

When nighttime rolls around, Y/N is pretty excited. She's already texted the BAU group chat a record seventeen times about the matter, yet somehow the team hasn't gotten sick of it thus far, and may even be more exhilarated than she is. It's the one good thing to come out of sharing a room with Spencer: that she gets to watch him wiggle in discomfort on his makeshift bed of blankets and pillows on the floor.

Except, when it comes down to it, it isn't that fun at all.

He's wriggling, yes, but it's doesn't exactly fulfil her with any satisfaction; if anything, it's just sad. He struggles to reach any form, never mind pinnacle, of relaxation, and Y/N actually feels pretty guilty at the subordination. So when the clock hits midnight and she's still hearing Spencer grunting when he hits a certain incessant bump in the carpet, she gives in and sits up.

Upon the sudden sound of bedsheets rustling, Spencer freezes because he thinks he's going to get shouted at, but it's the opposite that scares him even more.

"Do you want to get in bed?" Her voice sounds, the hush penetrating through the air.

Immediately Spencer rises; he wants nothing more than to take her up on her offer, but he is, unfortunately, chivalrous.

"No, no, it's okay," he whispers back, already delving back under his covers.

"Spencer. Just take the bed, I can't sleep with you tossing and turning," she says, hoping the complaint will cover up her caring behaviour.

"Be careful, Y/L/N, it almost sounds like you care."

"Shut up, do you want the bed or not?"

"I do but, unlike you, I'm actually a good person and wouldn't want to see you lying on the floor-"

"Uh, I'm offering you the bed, aren't I? That's gotta earn me some brownie points," she remarked, now having turned on a lamp. "Besides, if you're that bothered about it, we'll just share."

This makes Spencer stop: his torso is turned abnormally in his angle to see Y/N behind him, the blankets feebly draping across him show the Doctor Who shirt he's wearing, and his hair is a tousled mess that Y/N just knows will take him hours to fix in the morning. Well, that was tomorrow's problem, she contemplated, right now the issue lied in who, if either of them, was going to sleep on the floor.

"Uh, share? You.. uh, you really wanna do that?"

"As long as you don't snore, or kick; whats the harm?"

Spencer avoids dumping information about the harm of them sleeping together: how this kind of physical contact releases oxytocin, a chemical compound in the brain that exhibits feelings of empathy, trust, relaxation and even reduces anxiety. He saves her this because it's just past midnight and he doubts she wants to hear about the scientific risk of them growing to like each other.

"Oh, okay," he agrees instead. He clambers up from his pile of blankets and clutches a pillow to his chest while he stumbles over. Y/N shuffles to one side and pulls the duvet back, and he's more than happy to get under warm, comfy sheets.

"Let me just make something clear," Y/N says while Spencer adjusts into the pillows. He doesn't do this for long because one is snatched from under his head. When he moves to object, he sees it being planted next to his arm, creating a definite border between them.

"Your side, my side," Y/N says sternly, "that clear?"

"Crystal."

———

It's around three am when Y/N stirs awake. At first she can't grasp what's roused her, but then she hears a noise, and assumes there's got to be some construction going on outside because what she hears is alike to the humming of machinery. When she gains a reasonable amount of consciousness, she realises the sound is a bit too close to home.

Her hand reaches out across the bed, and when she accidentally whacks Spencer on the chest, she worries she's awoken him, until the noise starts again and it's here she discovers it's coming from him.

Oh shit, she thinks, please don't tell me my co-worker is having a sex dream while I'm lying right next to him.

He isn't, but Y/N isn't sure the reality is any better.

The moaning sound he first emitted has progressed into some sort of panicked grunt, accompanied by occasional whines. Soon, his body is flinching away from an invisible force.

Y/N knows it's probably best to leave it, that if she wakes him up he might be too confused and scared, he'll be disoriented, but when he starts screaming, she doesn't have anything else to resort to.

"Spence, Spencer! Wake up, hey," she shakes him, and he's awake in seconds. Sitting up straight, Y/N sees him hitting things that aren't there; it's only when she turns the light on that he eventually calms down.

"I'm sorry," he croaks immediately. Then his head is in his hands as he leans on his knees, and Y/N is overcome with a feeling completely foreign to her in regard to Spencer: empathy.

"Don't be, it-... it's okay," her voice takes a calm turn, and she even puts a hand on his back because anything that happens after three am is as good as forgotten anyway.

"You were right, I'm sorry," Spencer mutters. "This'll lose me ten points for sleeping conditions, huh?"

His attempt at cracking a joke does make Y/N smile, but even he can tell it's one of pity.

"Don't be silly. Do you want to, uh, talk about it?"

"I just wanna sleep," he sighs, and falls back into the pillows. Y/N creases her brows in sympathy, then lies down next to him; she stares at the ceiling for a while, and the steadying of Spencer's breathing makes her think he fell asleep a while ago, so she leans to turn off the lamp before his voice breaks the silence.

"Can you keep the light on?"

His sudden ask makes Y/N jump, but she steadies under the softness of Spencer's voice. When she turns to him his eyes are barely open, but he can see the benevolent smile she's giving him; something he rarely sees from Y/N.

"Of course," she says, then lies back down into the indent she's made in the bed.

"Thanks," he replies, and Y/N notices this is the least she's ever heard Spencer talk.

"You know," she starts, "it's not silly to be afraid of the dark; it's basic human instinct. I mean, it's evolution: humans have a... a tendency to be afraid of the dark, our visual sense vanishes and we can't detect anything around us. It's primal instinct, or... something, I guess."

At the end of her ramble, she's afraid she's sent Spencer to sleep, because he's gone uncharacteristically placid, but -yet again- he surprises her.

"Now who's losing points for conversation?"

Y/N's laugh after this is so hearty and genuine that Spencer can't help but smile, grin even. His chest rumbles with a chuckle, and Y/N feels the mattress shake under their collaboration of laughter, when it dies down they're both still beaming.

"Maybe I've been hanging around you too much," she declares. It's a jab, but her cheek rests against the pillow when she turns her head to him because her smile is so wide, and Spencer reciprocates; the act is unfamiliar to the pair, but warming nonetheless.

When it goes silent, Y/N doesn't expect to sleep at all. The Pavlov affect of the light being on tricks her brain into thinking she should be wide awake (something she learnt from Spencer), so she lies there patiently; hands intertwined resting on her chest. She twiddles her thumbs, almost as if she's waiting for something to happen.

"I'm sorry you have nightmares," she mutters.

Spencer's eyes flutter open, and she goes to make another apology, this time for waking him, but he clears his throat so she lets him take the lead.

"S'Not your fault, I just, I don't know. I get these dreams, these weird dreams - ever since I was a kid. I guess they just... developed into nightmares since I joined the BAU," he mumbles. "We see some pretty bad stuff."

Y/N hums, "we do, don't we?"

Her speech doesn't warrant a response, so Spencer just smiles again and they both silently call it a night. Reid is asleep in seconds, which Y/N finds admirable, while she stays still for a while. The way the orange light is bouncing off Spencer's physique makes him look like he's centre stage of an oil painting. The detail she's gaining of his pores and his eyelashes from being so close to him is both daunting and beautiful at the same time. His resting body reminds her of the pieces on display in an art exhibit Spencer dragged her along to one day last autumn. She wonders if he took anyone else to that exhibit, and hopes he didn't.

She soundlessly admires the rise of his chest: the melody of his breathing amid the chagrin of an occasional nose whistle. His hair, once a foreseeable inconvenience, is now an abundance of, what Y/N can only describe as, natural radiance; it's all curls and frizz and length that she's begged him to never lay a hand on. She can't help but run a hand through it. When she does, it's a lot softer than she expected and makes her think, wow I've really got to find out what conditioner he is using while she's untangling any knots she comes across. It only results in more frizz but he'll gel it back with product in the morning (much to Y/N's disappointment).

The noise he exudes when Y/N scratches his scalp makes her heart melt immediately. It is the sound of innocence wrapped up in a ball of revere, the way it comes from his chest and catches in the back of his throat in a small, naive whine. Then he subconsciously curls into her hold and is practically purring when she continues to scrape her fingernails gently across his head.

The ambivalence of it all is what makes Y/N stop. Spencer Reid isn't the kind of guy she ever anticipated to have a crush on. He didn't fit into the pattern of her list of exes, not even one feature of him came close to anything of her usual type. Where she'd normally be taken to movies and dinners, Spencer ventured with her to museums, public symposiums, art exhibits. Y/N can't resist fondly reminiscing on a library trip they took last week that resulted in them checking out each of their favourite books for one another. And while, on paper, this was romantic and harmonious, they were strictly platonic. Barely that; they took the piss out of each other at every opportunity, not even always as a joke. Y/N had collapsed in sorrow when she pulled his name out of the hat.

But the smile on Spencer's face... his serene expression and soft hair makes Y/N's knees weak for a totally different reason. And she figures this feeling trumps whatever feigned resentment she has been portraying over the years.

Fine, she thought, stubborn as always when it came to Spencer, I'll tell him when he wakes up. She began to bask in the peace that came before whatever storm could potentially riot tomorrow when she told Spencer how she felt. She guessed she had at least a few hours to relish in their friendship and the love they had built.

She guessed wrong.

Spencer's eyes were fluttering open before Y/N had even began conjuring up what she was going to say. Unfortunately, when she made a plan she stuck to it; she was beginning to see why her stubbornness could be such an unattractive quality.

Spencer squinted harshly with the light, and the first thing he managed to see clearly was the discreet panic in Y/N's eyes. He took a quick survey of the room to eliminate what visible factors that could reason her alarm; when he ruled out any unsub with a gun to her head, he relaxed.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked to the window, and it didn't seem to be daylight yet.

"Haven't you been to sleep?" He asked, more than prepared to educate her in the necessities of getting a good night's rest.

"Not yet. You've only been out a few minutes," she said softly, retracting her hand from his locks. Here, Spencer realised he didn't like the feeling of Y/N's absence.

"Oh," he hummed, "I was dreaming. I think Darth Vader was there..."

Y/N chuckled lightheartedly, "of course he was."

Spencer seemed willing to remain awake, but time was limited and Y/N wasn't sure when he'd be dozing off again. So, she made her move.

"Listen, I wasn't going to say anything until morning but, you're awake so I may as well tell you now..."

He's visibly intrigued; with a quirked eyebrow and digging the knuckle-joint of his finger in a rubbing motion in the corner of his eye to try and gain some sense of vivacity. Still, all he can respond with is a drone.

"And I don't want this to, I don't know, freak you out? Or to make anything awkward, so if it does, we can just... pretend this never happened, okay? I mean it."

This manages to obtain Y/N the attention she needs, because, without delay, Spencer has both eyes open and his eyebrows are knitted together in mostly concern. Now, with his eager expression, Y/N wishes he had stayed nonchalant.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I guess. I mean, I like you? I think? I know, really. I just - you're not like any other guy, and I like that, that's a good thing! I mean, what other guy knows how to build a rocket and make a coin appear behind your ear?"

Spencer chuckles, and his eyes are wide and bright like he's been suddenly granted passage to a whole new world. Mouth agape with wonder, he's like a child being told he can finally play on the big-kid swings: buzzing with excitement and anticipation, just like said rockets he launches and gets in trouble with Hotch for.

"You mean like this?" He asks and leans forward to brandish a dime from behind Y/N's earlobe.

"Okay, like, who does that!" She screeches way too loudly for three am. When she clasps a hand over her mouth Spencer chortles and slowly removes her grasp. He's timid, so initially only presses a chaste kiss to her knuckles, then feels the ambience in the room shift; suddenly everything has devolved from blushing antics and stumbles of words to serenity in a matter of seconds.  

Spencer's pecks adhere to Y/N's hands, lingering on the skin of her knuckles and occasionally peppering to her palms. It isn't until a few kisses later that he brings himself to move closer, and even here his courage only brings him to her cheek.

When the corner of his lips press lustfully upon her face, Y/N doesn't hesitate in turning her head ever so slightly. His lips part, and he breaks away to glance at her and make sure this isn't all one big misunderstanding. But her gaze is matched to his mouth, and soon her lips. In a fumble to close the (already compact) space between them, the kiss they share is warm and breathy, it's passionate and lewd, especially with the arrangement in which Spencer places his hands: cupping one side of her face and the placing the other at her neck so he can rest his fingertips in the hold atop Y/N's spine.

Wherever his fingers touch leaves a trail of goosebumps which Y/N hopes never diminish; she wants every piece of evidence she can muster of Spencer's caresses, however this changes when Spencer's lips begin on the formidable task of her neck.

"Stop," she pants, and the hands that had inevitably reached his hair again are now pushing slightly on his shoulders. Her request makes Spencer drop his hands immediately.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't. It was nice. I just, I don't want everyone to see," she gestured to the red patch that had already formed above her clavicle where Spencer had only been nibbling a moment prior.

"Right, yeah," he breathed. A giddy smile forced its way onto his face when he looked at the way Y/N's lips had reddened and become swollen, especially her bottom (now essentially permanent) pout originated from the persistence of Spencer's tendency to drag his teeth along her lip and enclose it in a bite.

"You know, I predicted this would happen. Scientifically, people are a lot more likely to be attracted to one another after sleeping together. Subconsciously, we feel more capable in our ability to trust that person because we've been so vulnerable and open in a compromising position. The oxytocin we get from sharing physical contact like that is the same we produce in an orgasm."

"Oh," Y/N squeaked, while Spencer lay there with a proud smile on his face, not really registering the effect he'd had on her by using the word 'orgasm'.

"Oxytocin is heavily released during kissing too, so... I guess we're pretty bonded."

Y/N chuckled, smiling at his blushed cheeks. "I guess we are."

"It's, uh, it's actually also called the 'cuddle hormone' because it's primarily recognised as being released during hugging.”

"And that's your way of asking me if I want to cuddle?"

Spencer's smile was unmissable: shifting nervously between tight-lipped and beaming wide, his eyes were the only part of his countenance that stilled; locked on Y/N.

"Yes, I, uh, I believe it is."

She tried to suppress her grin, but it was no use.

"Big spoon or little spoon?" She asked.

"Oh, little spoon... obviously."

fin.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #888: Turkey Shopping (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

1:12 p.m. at Smash Grocery Store, Meat Aisle.......

Daisy: (Stares at the Empty Side of the Aisle Along With Luigi) Yeeesh...... They ran out the turkey already? It's not even the close way mark to Thanksgiving yet.

Luigi: I'm guessing everyone wanted to get the turkey beforehand?

Daisy: ('Sigh') Maybe....... Welllllllll, if all else fails, we could have ourselves the Pizza giving dinner.

Luigi: (Eyes Widened) Wait. What? (Turns to Daisy) Daisy, we can't have pizza on Thanksgiving. It'll feel out of place.

Daisy: Yeah, but it could pretty unique. Besides, I don't see anyone else trying this sort of thing.

Luigi: Maybe because they haven't done it before?

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Well, if that's the case, then I say we should start makimg history by having ourselves the best Pizzagiving Dinner ever!~

Luigi: ('Sigh') You're really into this, are you, de-(Suddenly Begins to Gasps Loudly) DAISY! Look! (Points Directly at....) A Turkey!

Daisy: (Eyes Widened at the Sight of the Turkey) Holy crap.... It's the last one they got! (Immediately Grab Luigi's Hand) C'mon, sweetie! That turkey ain't gonna buy itself!!!

Luigi: Right behind- DEAAAR! (Gets Dragged By Daisy to Come Along With Her)

Without any warnings or setback, the couple begins to rush their way over towards the last turkey on the middle side of the meat aisle. It wasn't long before a random crowd of people, that came out of nowhere, quickly made their way to the spot while intentionally shoving the duo out of the way and into the ground.

'THUD'

Daisy: (Growls in Anger Before Shaking her Fist at the Group of People) You assholes! We saw that turkey first! (Gasps Before Turning to Her Man, Who is Also on the Floor) Luigi! (Helps Luigi Get Back Up on her Feet Along With Herself) Are you okay?

Luigi: ('Sigh') Yeah. But only if you're okay.

Daisy: (Smiles a Little) I'm okay, sweetie. (Glares Back at the Arguing Crowd) I'm just a little irritated by a bunch of RUDE PEOPLE right now!

Random Koopa Troopa: You snooze, you lose, Toots! I was here first!

Daisy: What did you call me, you little...! (Was About Go in on the Shy, Only to Get Hold Back by Luigi)

Random Goomba: (Glares at the Shy Guy Along With his Female Goomba Companion) In your dreams, pal! We came here first!

Game Guy: No. I believe that I was the one who came here first, ladies and gentlemen.

Random Koopa Troopa: (Turns to Game Guy) Hey, why are you shopping here of all places?

Random Goomba: Yeah. You're rich, aren't ya? Shouldn't you be shopping at those high class stores where you're from?

Game Guy: Look, the turkey there was too expensive, every other store I been to, has already ran out of all of them, and I've already lost a ton of money over a bet to a Thwomp with an IQ equivalent to that of a brick wall. I NEED to buy that turkey!!

Random Koopa Troopa: Yeah? Well, too bad, cheapskate. The turkey was already mine from the very beginning.

Female Goomba: (Glares Back at the Koopa) What does "We came here first" do you bozos not understand!?

Game Guys: (Starts Glaring at Both Party) I got here before any of you did! And I am NOT a cheapskate!!!

Everyone Else: (Starts Arguing Among One Another)

Luigi: (Made his Way to.the Middle if the Crowd Along with Daisy) Everyone, PLEASE!! Let's just all calm ourselves and stop arguing for a minute or two, okay?

Daisy: Yeah. Before I start whooping all of your asses.

Luigi: (Gives Daisy a Soft Glare) Daisy!

Daisy: What? They're asking for it.

Luigi: (Sighs Before Turning Back to the Crowd) Anyways, I'm sure if we all talk about this calmly, then I'm sure we'll be able to figure all of this out.

Random Goomba: Oh. So now the talking Green Mario is gonna lecture us now?

'Record Scratch'

Luigi: (Eyes Begins to Widened at the Goomba's Comment Before Slowly Turning to Him With a Harsh Glare on his Face) What did you just call me?......

Random Goomba: You heard me, Green Mario! You ain't shit and you're never gonna be anything more than Player Number Two and Mario's fucking shadow. So why don't you take you and your obnoxious girlfriend out of sights and out of this store already?

Everyone in the Crowd: YEAH!

The anger in the plumber face begins to show immensely as he starts shaking his fist in frustration.

Daisy: (Growls at the Crowd in Anger) HEY! Who the hell do you guys think you-

Luigi: Daisy.

Daisy: (Immediately Turns Back to Luigi) Yes, sweetie?

Luigi: We're kicking their asses.

Daisy: (Eyes Widened at the Genuine Surprise by Luigi's Comment (And his Use of Profanity) ) Wait. Seriously!? A-Are you sure you wanna go through with this, Luigi?

Luigi: (Turns to his Girlfriend with a Dead Serious Look on his Face) Daisy, I have never been more sure than anything in my entire life. We are going to take that turkey home with us by force....(Turns Back to the Angry Crowd with the Same Harsh Glare) And we'll see who's still Mario's shadow after I'm done breaking all their faces wide open!.....

Daisy: (Stares at Luigi for a Few Seconds in Near Silence) ...................Luigi.

Luigi: Yes, dear?

Daisy: Have I....(Starts Blushing) Ever told you how much I love you today?~

Luigi: I......(Turns to Daisy With a Bit of a Confusion Look on his Face) think you already told me that this morning.

Daisy: Yeah? Well.... I-I'll say it again! I love you!~ I love you times infinity!~ And I am so damn proud of you right now!!~

Luigi: Oh. (Chuckles Very Lightly While Blushing Himself) Thanks, Daisy.

????: OI!

The duo turns back to the angry crowd.

Random Koopa Troopa: You're done being lovey dovey already or you're gonna put your money where you mouths in!?

Crowd: YEAH!!!

Luigi: ('Sigh') I'm getting tired of this.....(Turns to Daisy) You're ready to do this, Daisy?

Daisy: (Nodded With a Confident Smirk on her Face) Ready as you are, babe. You owe me some quality alone time in our room after this by the way~

Luigi: (Nodded in Agreement) Works for me. NOW, LET'S SHOW EM WHAT WE'RE MADE OF!!

Daisy: IT'S TIME TO BUST SOME HEEEEEEEAAAADS!

And with that, a brawl between shoppers and for the prize of obtaining the last placed turkey, has finally begun. With Luigi and Daisy taking the dominating lead.

Amy: (Sighs While Looking at the Brawl from a Distance While Carrying a Buggy) You see this. Tails? This is exactly why I don't ever want you to get involved in these types of fights.

Tails: (Watches the Fight as Well) I wouldn't dream of getting involved. It looks crazy.....(Turns to Amy) Have you ever been in fights like these before, Amy?

Amy: (Turns to Tails) Oh yeah. I've been through quite a lot of them actually. Us shopping ladies can get pretty vicious when it comes to getting we want.

Tails: Yeesh..... It's a miracle that never happened to the both us yet.

Amy: (Gently Ruffles the Top of Tails' Head While Making Their Way to One of the Tellers) Don't worry, sweetie. I won't let anyone lay a finger on you on my watch.

Tails: Thanks, sis.

Ridley: (Walking Alongside with Bowser While Holding an Axe Spray) I'm telling you, Bowser. If I'm gonna keep looking my best for DS, I need to have the best amount of scent possible!

Bowser: Having decent body odor is fine and all, but couldn't you just buy yourself a cologne instead?

Ridley: Eh. Their too snobby for my liking. I heard these body sprays are the best of bed tho-

'LOUD CRASH'

Ridley: (Immediately Stops Walking and Turns to the Source of the Sudden Sound) What the? What's going on over there?

Bowser: (Chuckled Lightly While Watching am All Out Brawl From the Distance) Well, whaddya know? This store is already having themselves a fight.

Ridley: Already? It's not even close to being Black Friday yet. (Turns to Bowser) Wanna take a closer look?

Bowser: Sure. I'm down- (Eyes Slowly Begins to Widened in Complete Fear at the Sight of Daisy Suplexing a Guy With Vicious Roar) f-f-f-for.

Ridley: (Points at the Couple Fighting the Crowd) Hey look. It's lovebirds #2, Luigi and Daisy. It's looks like they're winning alread- (Turns and Noticed Bowser's Sprint Walking) Bowser? Where you going?

Bowser: Home! I am NOT getting myself into this shit! Especially not with her around.....

Ridley: Dude, you gotta stop being scared of Daisy all time. You're the King of all Koopas for crying out loud!

Bowser: And I got yeeted to moon by that woman once! Not taking any chances here, man!

Ridley: ('Sigh') And they say I'm pathetic......

Bowser: (From a Distance) I CAN HEAR YOU, ASSHOLE!!!!

Few Minutes Later

The couple rushed themselves out if the grocery store as fast and far away as they could before finally stopping in their tracks and catching both if their respective breaths.

Daisy: ('Pant') Okay!.....That...('Pant') was.....('Pant') crazy in there......

Luigi: Tell me about it.....('Pant') But....('Pant') at least.....('Pant') we didn't.....('Pant') leave here.....('Pant') empty handed. (Takes his Hat Off to Reveal the Last Turkey Sitting on Top of his Head)

Daisy: ('GASPS') No way! You managed to get the last turkey out of here? How!?

Luigi: I got out of the aisle without anyone noticing. Once I hid it behind my hat, it was my chance to convinced you leave. But.....not believe I paying for it as quickly as possible though.

Daisy: Ah. So THAT'S why you were running behind earlier. (Smiles Brightly) This is amazing, Weegie!~ You are The Ma- ('Light Snap') (Felt a Bit of Sharp Pain on her Ankle Before Sitting Herself Down) AGGHH! Damnit!

Luigi: ('Gasps') Daisy! (Rushes Over to Daisy Side While Holding the Turkey) Are you okay?

Daisy: (Gives Luigi a Reassuring Smile on his Face) Yeah, babe. I'm good. Just springed my ankle a bit is all.

Luigi: ('Sighs a Bit in Relief') That's relief....I mean... It's not a good thing, but I'm glad your legs aren't broken.

Daisy: ('Sighs in Relief') Same......You don't mind carrying me home, do you? I'll carry the turkey for ya.

Luigi: (Smiles Softly) Of course not, dear. (Gives Daisy the Turkey) Here you go.

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Thanks. Now starting carrying me!~

Luigi: (Bends Down and Carries a Giggling Daisy Up in his Arms) Gotcha! Ready to go home yet?

Daisy: Yep. I know I already told you this before, but I'm really proud of you today, Luigi. You stood your ground and kick everyone's asses!

Luigi: (Chuckles Lightly) Thanks, Daisy. You did great out there too. And I wouldn't have that much confidence if you weren't here with me.

Daisy: Oh please. (Starts Snuggling onto Luigi's Arms) You know I'll always be there for no matter what, right?

Luigi: I know. I still love and appreciate you though.

Daisy: Same here, babe. (Gives Luigi a Kiss on the Lips) So.........(Starts Putting on a Seductive Smirk on her Face) about that certain activity you owe me~

Luigi: We'll make love AFTER I heal your ankle. (Starts Walking Back Home) And after I wash my hair again.....

Daisy: ('Sigh') Oh alright.

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@illyrilex

[starkerfilth]

like a star | starker au

(tap the moodboard for better image quality!)

Is it wrong? Is it wrong? / I'm making out with you while you're singing your song / Is it wrong? Is it wrong? / You're playing your guitar and it's turning me on

The boy didn't blink when the cameras flashed. That was the first thing Tony noticed about Peter.

Well, he knew the obvious things, of course.

Peter Parker. 19. Newest rising star in the pop industry. Pretty amber eyes and porcelain skin wearing a smile at all times.

Standing there like a fucking doll.

"Tony!" — "Look here!" — "Like that, yeah!" — "Tony!" The paparazzi shouted. Tony gave the cameras another wave and then made his way off the red carpet.

He vaguely remembered drunkenly promising some guy that he'd come and wondered if this was worth it.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. He came face to face with a camera and a short blonde. "Would you have time for an interview with Pop Buzz, Mister Stark?" She asked, pearly white teeth shining at him. People around them shouted his name.

Tony cleared his throat. "If you insist."

Devious, all of them. The tabloids were never up to any good. Tony's reputation allowed him to be a little gruff with them. He'd just have to throw in a sleazy smile at the end and his wrongdoings would be forgotten.

"So good to see you! Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the one and only music legend Tony Stark!"

Tony gave the camera a quick twitch of the corners of his lips. He needed a drink.

"So, Tony—there have been rumours floating around that you'll collaborate with Peter Parker since he started following you on Twitter a few days ago. Anything you can tell us?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know any more than you do, ma'am."

He wouldn't give a spoiled newcomer his whole platform. The boy had the looks of it — pouty lips, thin frame, smile innocent enough to be anything but. Tony wasn't going to push his luck.

Even if the kid was sinfully pretty.

"We're going to ask Peter too, let's see how he responds," The reporter said with a giggle.

... Right, Tony thought.

"But back to you. You've recently been in the papers for your generous donations to various NGOs working to better our environment — what made you do that? And why did you do it secretly?"

Tony snatched a champagne flute from a passing waiter's tray. "I did it because our planet's going to shit and if I got the resources to help save it, why shouldn't it give them to the people who can actually use them? I did it secretly because I didn't want this to be seen as some kind of attempt at bettering my image. It's not. These donations aren't publicity."

"—Tony! They're waiting for you!"

The interviewer grinned into the camera. "Looks like that's all we have time for today. Be sure to subscribe to Pop Buzz for all the news on your favorite celebrities!"

Tony waved at the red blinking light and gave one of his signature sleazy grins.

----

He got curious the next day.

He sat at the kitchen counter, nursing a green smoothie and some aspirin and sighed at his reflection in the perfectly clean floor-length windows.

Eventually, he pulled out his phone.

'Peter Parker talking about Tony Stark'

He regretted typing the words in the search bar as soon as he pressed enter but actually snorted at the amount of videos that came up.

Peter Parker: "A collaboration with Tony Stark would be a dream come true"

Sure it is, Tony thought, shaking his head. He tapped on the video anyway. The tabloids had probably just twisted the boy's words.

—Except they hadn't.

Tony rewinded the clip.

"It has come to our attention that you started following Tony Stark on Twitter recently. Some fans are suspecting a collaboration — any words on that?" the blonde interviewer asked.

Peter's mouth dropped to a pretty o. His cheeks were suddenly rosy and he visibly tried to collect his thoughts.

"Uh, well—a collab with him would be a dream come true, I mean, he's a legend, and he's really, really, really good—" He stopped, then picked his sentence back up. "He's amazing. But I'm afraid as of now all it is is a follow—I'd so be open for it though. For everything."

Tony knew a crush when he saw one. He knew thirst even better. And this boy was dripping filth from his big, innocent eyes.

Tony rested his chin on his hand. "For everything, huh?" he muttered to himself.

He called his manager.

[madphantom]

The Phantom of the Phantom of the Opera - Chapter 18

Abbott was about to leave his office when he suddenly noticed a faint familiar scent in the air. Lemon tea.

"Good evening, Mr Abbott."

He spun around and gasped. At last, after three long years, he was eye to eye with the mysterious Phantom.

Kelsington Joly was there, lurking in the shadows. His long blonde curls shimmered in the dim light of the lamp. A pale half of his face was illuminated, but the other half, the burned half, was hidden in the shadows.

"Kelsington!", Abbott stuttered.

He nodded and his lips curled into a cruel smirk. "Kelsington indeed, Mr Abbott."

The manager stared at him. There were a lot of things he wanted to say and a lot of emotions he could feel. Fear. Respect. Regret. Pity.

He could see that Kelsington was not having any of those feelings. He wasn't sure whether the Phantom felt anything at all by now.

"What do you want?", Abbott finally managed to ask.

Kelsington slid out of the shadows gracefully. "I want to suggest a change of cast."

"Again?" Abbott immediately put his hand on his mouth.

Kelsington's eye burned in barely suppressed hot fury for a second and Abbott feared for his life. But then the fire died down and Kelsington smiled, revealing his perfect white teeth. "Indeed. Again."

Abbott sank onto his chair. "What is it this time?"

Kelsington sat down on the table. "Taylor Jenner."

"What about him?"

"You're very fond of him, aren't you?"

"Well, he's the only one remotely close to your talent, Kelsington, you know that yourself-"

"Indeed, I do. And that is why I want to offer a change of cast for the next performance."

"You mean...?"

"Taylor Jenner plays Raoul."

Abbott frowned. "But... who's going to be the Phantom?"

"Me."

Abbott's eyes widened. "Kelsington, this is madness."

"Of course it is."

"How are we going to relearn the parts so quickly?"

"Oh, trust me, we both know our part of the game." There was a distant glow in Kelsington's dark eye that made Abbott shiver. "Tell him the news. I want Minnie to stay Carlotta, Paige as Piangi, Susanna as Meg...and Saturnine as Christine. They know their lines. They will do it."

"But Kelsington..."

"No buts!", he suddenly hissed. "You gave up your right to disobey me when you let me go through what happened! You were supposed to check everything before the performance! I always wondered how to make you watch again, well, watch me now!"

***

Friar opened the door and out stumbled a pale and obviously shocked Abbott. Friar caught him before he could fall to his knees. "Jesus, Abbott, what happened?"

"I saw Kelsington Joly," Abbott stuttered and fainted on the spot.

***

They met in a tiny cafe on the corner of two shady streets. Yellow lights gleamed in the puddles on the trottoir. Friar and Abbott looked extremely nervous.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Friar began. "We have come to the heavy decision, that the Phantom has to cease existing."

"This can't go on," Abbott added.

"You're planning a murder." Susanna looked appalled. "A murder!" She glanced over to her colleagues. "Guys! Say something!"

Tay shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, Susie."

"He's a killer," Paige argumented.

"He was forced into it," Minnie suddenly hissed. "You guys must be kidding me." Her face flared up. "That is no way to treat anyone!"

Susanna glanced over to her in surprise. "Whoa."

"What?", Minnie snarled. "You think I'm evil? You think I'm that ruthless prima donna who doesn't give a shit about her colleagues? You think I'm fine with somebody being murdered? Well, that's not the case. I'm not a psychopath!" Her eyes were glowing angrily. "I'm not evil! Sure, I don't like it when my role is stolen, or when I feel threatened, and I don't shut up and say that, but fuck, I'm not a killer, I don't want to see him die on stage or backstage or anywhere just because you-" - she addressed the managers - "-were too incompetent and ruined his life, and now when he pays you back you suddenly complain! Fuck you!"

"You've seen what happened to James. There will be more and more victims if we don't do anything now." Friar clenched his jaw.

Abbott patted her shoulder. "Susanna. I know you two were close. I know it's our own fault that what happened... happened. But you... and also you, Minnie...have to understand... he's not who he used to be. He's a killer. A psychopath. He's dangerous. I don't want him to hurt anyone anymore." For the first time in her life Susanna saw real regret in his eyes.

Friar looked deeply remorseful too. "I hate that we have to do this. But it's better that way."

Taylor stared at his shoes. "It's not fair. What happened to him. That shouldn't have gone that way. He should have been a star."

Susanna glared at him. It's your fault, her eyes said, and Taylor sagged.

"What are you planning?", Paige asked.

Abbott sighed. "We will contact the police and tell them what happened. They will have to use violence. There's no other solution."

Susanna felt tears welling in her eyes.

"If you're going to do this, please...at least let him perform one last time."

"But the audience-"

"It's the least you can do for him!", she snapped.

Abbott bit his lip.

"Okay."