#And in an attempt to protect myself... I just didn't want to engage

[cultkinkcoven]

Is Lucifer your father figure or is he your lover? cause you use both terms to refer to him and it gives incest fetish vibes... yikes.

*deep inhale*

*deep sigh*

I suppose my answer to this question would be yes. Lucifer is my father, although not biologically, and yes, Lucifer is my lover. Welcome to the reality of divine/mortal relationships. You must be new.

I know this is a crazy concept, but Lord Lucifer, the God of liminality and transgression, does at times blur the lines between barriers and dance between the realms of what is acceptable and what is taboo. That's his favorite pastime activity. Or in other words, Lucifer does not adhere to human labels, he subverts them. The relationships he forms cannot be defined with only one label, and attempting to dissect his actions according to a human basis of what is acceptable will only lead to confusion and misunderstanding.

When I call Lucifer my father, I'm referring to him as my creator and origin. He made me, cultivated me, guided me into a new version of myself that is directly inspired by him. He raised me, I seek his advice, he protects me, I am his responsibility. He takes care of me. I am his son. When a nun calls her God Father, you understand what she means. I am the seed he has planted, I am the plant that sprouts, he pollinates me and he feeds on the fruit. That is the deal.

Yes, Lucifer is my lover, we obviously engage with each other sexually and we have a very affectionate relationship. The cool thing about Lucifer is that he's a God and not a human being. There is no danger of incest???? because we are not related and we are not even the same species of creature... He doesn't have a body bro...

I'm not his child son being coerced into an inappropriate relationship with their dad, (fuck sakes) I'm... a practitioner, a devotee, and also, notably, a grown man. He is... an entity...

This brings me back to something he said about this in the context of god spousal, but it's relevant here as well:

"Initiate, subject, disciple, partner, lover, beloved, pet, son, baby, star, devotee, priest, medium, meal. I don’t care which word you use.”

The reality is that neither of these words, "father" or "lover" adequately explain what I have going on with Lucifer. Lucifer is my God above all else, and the words "lover" and "father" may in certain contexts be good enough to describe his behavior. He protects, he leads, he raises like a father. He fucks like a lover. But he is truly none of those things, Lucifer is not a human man.

I was trying to find a way to word this that didn't come off like "what? it's nothing like that! y-you just don't get it!!!" because like, I'm not oblivious to the subtext. Lucifer is not oblivious to the subtext. He calls me his son. Our relationship is far from anything typical or traditional. There is a power imbalance, that's part of the dynamic.

But no, I don't have an incest fetish holy fuck, Lucifer doesn't have one either. If anything I'd say Lucifer has a fetish for incredibly intense emotions and displays of vulnerability. The unique relationship we have which has elements of both parentship and courtship is the prime playing field for those intense emotions to manifest. So yes, Lucifer holds me and teaches me like a father, even like a master, as if I were his pet to train. It's not just familial, Lucifer blurs all kinds of boundaries. He knows how to do so without going too far and hurting his followers. That's his job.

I've gotten messages like this in the past and just ignored them but I figure I might as well say something.

And if you want to know Lucifer's reaction to this ask, he laughed and said "oh no, who's going to stop me from fucking my kids?" so I guess that tells you exactly how seriously he takes this.

Tldr, bro what

[demonslayerunhinged]

cw: I'm going to be very blunt in this overly long post. Some things might rub you the wrong way if not offend you, so if that happens, you know the procedure: unfollow → block → move on.

A few weeks ago…

Three of my posts about Genya, Shizu and Sanemi caught the attention of and were the subject of discussion among a couple of weirdos. After I discovered all the crap they were spewing on their circle jerk of a server, I then went on a rage-fueled posting spree with screenshots and lots of insults towards them especially towards princeblue and pomchihuahua. I made the posts private but if you're curious here's the link.

You're probably thinking: Omg bitch, you're still on this? 🙄

Yes, yes I am. It's so fucking easy to move on from an incident when you're not the one being attacked or are the one doing the attacking. It's just like that saying the tree remembers what the axe forgets or something and it's my blog, fuck you.

Anyway, it really pissed me off that they were taking my post so seriously, despite me putting multiple disclaimers that these were theories. Proof:

And even if I didn't add disclaimers, can no one make theories anymore? Can no one make jokes or shit posts? I mean, I know we're living in a dystopian world, but the last place I want to be reminded about it is on my tiny, obscure fucking Tumblr blog. You don't have to (and honestly shouldn't) agree with everything I post! In fact, I would love to have a different pov and a respectful, engaging discussion. And even if you think Ugh this shit is so ass, just scroll past and forget about me! Unfollow me! Block me! I have made two posts literally begging people to do this because I didn't want to get involved in this kind of shit.

Talking shit about me in a place where I don't have the opportunity to defend myself, deliberately misunderstanding my posts and making assumptions of my beliefs based on said post is one thing. But minimizing the shittiness of your actions when called out, painting me as the crazy person for my justified anger at your shitty actions, and using your minor members as a shield to deflect scrutiny. That's just horrible, if not downright insidious. especially from someone who describes herself as a 'nice' person.

The so-called apology I got from pomchihuahua was so insincere, and it was just a way to brush past their actions so they could make the link to their shitty server public again. I never got an apology from princeblue; all I got were a series of pretentious and condescending messages and a manipulative post where she made me look like I was the crazy one, infiltrating her server and harassing her members who are minors. She also minimized and sanitized her actions by explaining that it was just a private discussion among friends that got a bit heated with a few dickish words thrown here and there, despite the fact that:

1.) It's a public server, so anyone who joins and lurks in that channel would think I'm some asshole that advocates for child abuse and slanders single mothers.

2.) It wasn't just a 'heated' discussion with just a few dicky things being said, not only did they completely misunderstand my post — so much so that it was like they were talking about another post by someone else — but they talked about my blog like it was (and I hate this word) slop. She said stated that she couldn't stand me and that she was seething with hate (the screenshots are in the linked private post) like I killed her dog or something.

3.) She kept stressing that I didn't censor the usernames of the shit talkers who happen to be minors despite her asking me to, all in an attempt to make me look like some kind of minor-harasser. The minors in question didn't censor my username or those of the people who commented on my posts that they bashed. So why should I?

Side tangent but, I've noticed that lately the internet has some kind of obsession with the protection of minors and put them on some pedestal like they're unassuming babies who aren't capable of real harm or aware of their actions. Thus, they should be shielded from the consequences of said actions and shouldn't be called out for them.

I don't subscribe to such beliefs. Not only is it stupid, it's dangerous. This belief is the basis of laws that allow minors to get away with heinous crimes in some communities and even countries. Why should they get to live on, blissfully unaffected, while their victims suffer? Why shouldn't we be allowed to call them out on their shitty behavior? If they're old enough to throw shit at a stranger on the internet, they're old enough to have that shit thrown right back at them. If that makes me a heartless asshole, so be it.

Anyway, I was angry (as you can tell by my online crashout) because as someone who takes a lot of time agonizing over every single post and making sure my words are clear and that I provide the right resources — all these accusations and comments hurt. The situation sucked the joy out of me, ruined my whole week, and made me feel so shitty that I wanted to stop posting all together.

Because, what's the point? Why post anything if all I'm going to do is spend my time and energy not just worrying about the content, but also about being shredded by assholes who won't even attempt to understand my words?

I have this weird belief that my blog will only be seen by those who like it or if not want to understand what I'm saying and would give me the opportunity to explain myself. I know it's stupid, but that's just how I wish my blog was. This whole situation just burst the bubble of that belief and now makes me so paranoid about everything. Even now that I want to continue posting again, I'm still hesitatant. Every time I see some untitled/unnamed blog follow me, I think that it's either one of princeblue's followers hate stalking me for more posts they can rip apart on their stupid server.

One thing pomchihuahua said in her defense that really irritated me was that Shizu reminded her of a family member and that's why she attacked my posts and why she made the counter post defending Shizu.

Yes offense, but that is insane. Like the you-seriously-need-professional-help kind of insane.

Don't believe me? Let's recontextualize her explanation:

Say Shizu is a mass-produced doll that being marketed as a single mother with the blurb on the back of the box. A girl, let's call her Suzy, has one of these dolls. It's her favorite doll, and she believes the story on the box is the one true story for this doll because Shizu looks like her mom and the story mirrors her mom's life.

When she goes out with her friends who all have the same Shizu doll and agree with her about the story for it, she sees another girl let's call her Kacy, playing with the Shizu doll, but it's different; the girl put on different clothes on the doll and Suzy could overhear the girl telling her friends that this Shizu doll is a businesswoman who's travelled to space or something.

Suzy gets enraged, she starts shouting to her friends — loud enough for Kacy to hear. She calls Kacy names, talks about how Kacy doesn't understand Shizu, that Shizu can only be in the clothes she came in, and that the only story that matters is what's written on the back of the box. Kacy is a bad person for dressing Shizu in different clothes and giving her a different story.

When asked why she acted this way, Suzy explains that Shizu reminds her of her mom, so anyone dressing the doll up differently or giving it a different story makes her defensive, angry and causes her to lash out.

Now tell me, does Suzy seem like a well-adjusted individual to you? Doesn't it seem like she needs to talk to a therapist? Like my guy, are you good?! Are you running a fever?! Do you need a Kit Kat?!

I don't give a fuck if a character reminds you of someone or if you're emotionally attached to them. That DOES NOT give you the right to attack or talk shit about people because of some 2d drawings. And if you think this is perfectly acceptable behavior, then you need to take a long, hard look in a mirror for some self-reflection and to remove the brick that's lodged in the back of your head because you obviously have some sort of brain damage.

Who are you to tell others what they should and shouldn't like? Who are you to tell others how they should and shouldn't interprete these characters? Who are you to think that your analysis/interpretion is the only correct one? Who are you to attack people just because they happen to have opinions that differ from yours? Who are you to control people's behavior to fit your own narrow, close minded and boring point of view? Just who THE FUCK do you think you are?

This is the kind of shit that makes fandoms so inhospitable and draining. When a couple of dry, basic, joyless, overly serious, overly sensitive, fun-sucking, Sarah j mass/Colleen Hoover/steel-wrapped-in-velvet-reading, no-life-or-rose-toy-having, Club Chalamet-looking, terminally online losers who get high on the smell of their own farts decide that they're the only ones who understand a character or a piece of fiction and treat any other interpretation or analysis like it's a personal attack. Then to make themselves feel better, make counter virtue signalling posts that do nothing but allow them to express their smug, self-affirming, self-righteous moral superiority.

I'm tired y'all, the world seems so shitty right now. Every day it' seems like the world it's like we're sliding back into the dark ages. I wanted this blog to be a safe space where I can just yap about stuff I like and stuff, and connect with people who share similar interests. Not a place to get policed, dragged and scrutinized over every fucking sentence or action when there's already enough of that in real life. I'm done with over-explaining and disclaimers, I refuse to tie myself into knots to accomodate the stupidity of imbeciles who're too lazy to read.

If you bite me, I bite back. As you can tell from my other posts i'm not above insulting and name-calling. Don't expect civility from me when you didn't offer one in the first place.

Like can a bitch breathe? Christ.

*Side note: I know I made this post which is similar to what I'm complaining about, but I just used the screenshot as to rant about the misunderstood complaints in the fandom. I mentioned the bullshit excuses she made when she was called out. But that was it. I didn't attack the OP personally, shit talk about her other posts or make assumptions of her beliefs. I didn't even mention her name at all in her post. So it doesn't count ha!

[theaverageptncasualenjoyer]

"We're not even dating." "But you belong to me." Shalom (Fem MBCC intel officer)

An: I'm back 🥳 But, only for a quick while before I have think about the romance department more... 🤢🤮 This'll be angst, jealousy, misunderstandings, lowkey toxic shalom, and suggestive themes, mentions of sex...

It started out as a one night stand, then turned into something more... Honestly, I don't know what came over me, thinking this was a good idea... But, there was no turning back once I caved, and asked for more... I'll always end up waking to no one by my side. Perhaps I enjoy the pain that comes after pleasure, which I shouldn't be. I felt sick, though I never tire of seeking her warmth. She is no saint although I'll gladly become a sinner just for her to look my way. But of course, she'll always look at her damn bodyguard's way... What does she have that I don't? I may be powerless, but I'm the one who's with her at nights like these... For her desire of flesh, I am the one who satiate her needs... Still, I end up losing to a woman who does not engage in such affairs. Shalom had told me once, while I lay underneath her, that her bodyguard has no interest in regards to mindless sex. She once attempted to seduce her, but to no avail, her bodyguard does not indulge. We're not lovers, so why must I feel this way...? It feels so wrong, but at the same time right to possess such feelings... I am fully aware about having no right to behave in a manner. But I can't help it. She disappears in my life, only to come back after weeks or even months without contact. My body has been drained, and my love had diminished. Like a candle lit flame that had been burning for too long, it's flames have extinguished after it's overuse. Perhaps it is time for me to move on. A week after her disappearance, I started working as an intelligence officer at the MBCC. Little did I know that she would soon enter my life again after 4 months of working as an intelligence officer. I moved places, to a new apartment near my workplace. I managed to fix myself, slowly. I don't think about her too much. After all, I ended up having a small crush on Matilda. There was just something about her that had me catching feelings for the sinner, maybe it was that side of hers that only a few had known, her caring nature, her ability to observe others in a way that she is able to tell when a person is troubled, and how she ensures that I am safe and protected. She and I grew closer over the past few months. I saw Shalom and the bodyguard that she would mention during our intimacy... This time, I didn't feel some sort of envy towards her bodyguard. Only contentment as I met eyes with Matilda next to Shalom, walking towards me as I greet her warmly. Shalom didn't like the interaction. My eyes softened, as I went somewhere with Matilda. Shalom couldn't resist asking the chief as to what was my relationship with Matilda, to which the chief responds, "The two of them are close friends. Though, it could be something more." The chief paused, and then continued, "I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up together." The chief concludes with an amused chuckle. Shalom did not appreciate that. I was now currently on break, lounging around in the breakroom. Waiting for coffee to brew. I didn't notice Shalom entering the room, eyes immediately locked onto my figure, as I unknowingly hum and waited for my coffee. She then spoke up, causing me to freeze up, unable to turn around and face her. "So, you and the councilor's niece, huh..." I grimace, not wanting to have this conversation. "...What do you want now, Shalom?" Her eyes narrowed, not liking the way I wasn't interested in a conversation with her at all. "I left for months, and you suddenly have some other woman to play around with?" I didn't like the way she was talking to Matilda like that, so I responded, "Play around? Is that all you think about?" my voiced laced with venom. "Oh, how sweet. Her knight and shining armor had come to defend her. Do you want a reward?" Her tone was sarcastic. I ignored her reply, choosing to focus on getting my coffee instead of entertaining her. That was all I was to her, anyways. A joke. To be played around with. I'm not even surprised at all.

"Don't ignore me, dear." She hissed, approaching me. I quickly grabbed my cup, and side stepped. "..." I walked past her, shocking her as I went outside. Without a word. She quickly catch up to me, grabbing my wrist. "I am not done talking to you." "But I am. Matilda's waiting for me." Her eyes darkened. "Matilda this, Matilda that. When will you quit the charades? You're doing this to make me jealous." I can feel the jealousy on her words, causing me to blink slowly. "...Excuse me? Do you really think I hang out with Matilda just because I want to waste time making you feel that way? Gross." I say, disgusted before pulling my hand away from her grasp. I looked her up and down. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but don't ever talk to me again." I then went ahead. Making shalom clench her coat sleeve... Don't come back to my life suddenly and act all possessive towards me. We're not even lovers, so why act that way? I thought grimly as I met up with Matilda. Matilda was now someone who I trust with my secrets. She knew about me and Shalom, it made her angry and more protective of me whenever Shalom visits the MBCC. Shalom didn't help at all by increasing the tension, taunting Matilda; She paid no mind to the bait that Shalom obviously presented to her. She grew more and more jealous at the relationship between me and Matilda, without knowing that me and her were just friends. I realized that Matilda felt more of a sister to me, rather than someone who I like in a romantic way, Matilda expressed the same feeling as well. One night, Shalom couldn't take it anymore. She had enough of seeing my closeness with Matilda. The lingering stares, touches, and the secrecy of words being whispered to one another's ear had plagued Shalom's mind all day. She had to stop this madness before her mania level will consume her... Meanwhile, I was busy in my office trying to connect the dots about the incident earlier that had happened outside of the MBCC's building. I heard the door swung open, and had expected it to be the chief. I was wrong. It was Shalom. After seeing who it was, I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh. I didn't want to deal with her, but I have to. It must be something important. "Do you require assistance, miss Shalom?" My voice held a professional tone to it, as I paused reading the files. "No, but I have something that I wanted to talk about." Making me nod stiffly. "...Alright." I looked at her with nothingness, making her feel... Odd about the look. "...Do you feel nothing towards me now?" She starts, as she met my gaze with a hint of sadness. "...Hm." I answered it vaguely, unable to comprehend why the question all of the sudden. She sits on my desk, papers long forgotten as she made herself comfortable. "What happened to the nights that we once shared together? Do you not miss it?" It took me a while to process it. "I mean... It's been months. I've been busy, you're busy as well." Her hand made its way to my chin, cupping it. "Don't you... Miss me?" Her voice, velvety, it almost made me shiver, if not for the fact that I just felt uncomfortable right now. "Um, not really?" My voice was uncertain, unable to determine if I indeed missed her at all. Making her frown. "What does Matilda have that I don't? Why is she so special to you?" Making me confused. Is she saying that Matilda is my girlfriend...? A baffled look made its way to my face, making her question me. "...You did not think I would notice, didn't you." As if stating a fact. I awkwardly replied, "We're close friends..." Her eyes had soften for a bit, but then narrowed. "You're kidding. You are together." "We're not." I state calmly. "I've seen the way you look at her. It's unnerving."

A shadow had crowded over Shalom's eyes. I sighed, explaining further about my relationship with Matilda. After explaining it for a bit, she seemed to have lighten up. "There. Now, do you get it?" She nods. "Yes. Now, I can do this..." She suddenly grabbed my collar and pulled me towards her. Making the space nonexistent between us. My breath hitched, heat immediately crept up to my face. Shalom took notice. "Ah, there it is. How I've missed that look." She cooed, making me jerk backwards and her grip loosening due to the sudden reaction. "Don't do this to me, Shalom." I hissed, upset at her actions. She then looked hurt. "What's wrong? Do you not perhaps want to continue our relationship?" I swiftly got out of my desk and made my way to the door. "Oh, no. I am not about to enter in that relationship again. I'm leaving." Her hand had grasped my wrist that was already twisting the door knob, in swift movement. "Tell me, what's wrong..." "Everything is! This whole thing started as an accident and ended with an MISTAKE! Shalom, god... I don't know how you are able to do this with a straight face, but I can't do this anymore. I want out." She then glared at me and responded. "It wasn't a mistake, tell me you didn't just say that now." Making me more irritable at the response. "What? Do you want me to pretend that it wasn't? Because it was! So stop!" She then cupped my face. "It wasn't to me. It might've started that way, but I ended up falling for you." Making me look at her in shock. "No, you're only saying that because you just want the sex." I hated sounding like I was hurt over this, when I know damn well when it was supposed to be that way anyways. "Why does it matter to you so much?" I sound distressed, pushing her away from me with much force. "We're not even dating." Shalom's next actions and words had caught me off guard. "But you belong to me." Her hand found it's way to my waist, pulling me towards her body once more. "Can't you see, that I feel strongly about you dear?" Her voice murmured against my collarbone. Teeth nipping at it, as I fail to conceal my voice. "I don't want anyone else but me to be near you, to have you, and to love you this way..." She possessively said, cupping my cheek with her free hand and tracing her thumb on my face, rubbing circles. "I'm obsessed with you, the reason why I am not able to return right away... Was because of how addicted I was from your warmth. It wasn't just the sex. I promise..." She soothes me by sucking on my neck, leaving a trail of marks as she worked her way up to my lips. "I love you. I want you to be mine, to belong to me... Darling." She whispered in my lips. I let her devour me. Whole. "You're mine. I don't intend to share you or settle for second best. No one compares to you." She declared. I whimpered. "What about your bodyguard? Didn't you lust for her as well...?" She smirks, unzipping my skirt and tracing my underwear. "Oh, her? I only said that to make you jealous. I wanted you to act possessive of me. But it backfired." She explained, but not before harshly tugging down my skirt, tearing off my blouse. "All of these... Are for my eyes only. I regret teasing you. Allow me to make up for it..." She then harshly palmed my breast while my bra was on. Her fingers danced around my inner thigh...

[auraworkshop]

MY STORY OF SUCCESSFULY CONQUERING THE VOID STATE

Trigger warning: Sexual abuse, trauma etc.

I was raised in a loving and nurturing household. My childhood was hunky-dory and I remember myself as a bright and happy child, frolicking around in a carefree environment. I was pampered by a set of very loving and supportive parents. Alas, my protected bubble shattered, when at the age of 11, I went through sexual abuse and my life changed. The incident led to repressed anxiety, depression, and lingering PTSD for almost a decade.

I was sexually abused at the age of 11

Considering I was just 11-years-old when the heinous incident took place, I was too young to register the gravity or impact of such a crime. Revisiting the incident is still very painful. It happened about nine years ago, at an outstation wedding. I was sleeping alone in a hotel room, when the abuser entered my room and forced himself upon me. I remember distinctly how dark the room was. I was in a deep slumber and didn't realize that someone other than me was in the room as well. I wasn't able to respond or react, as I couldn't escape or stop the person. I was left in pain.

While I did inform my parents immediately, for some reason, the abuse and its record got shushed. My parents didn't want it to be made public or for it to harm my image in the society. Their response towards my trauma festered as a scar in the coming years.Living with depression, anxiety and PTSD As much as I tried to move on from that horrendous night, it kept coming back to me.

Unfortunately, I was too young to repair the damage. I began to feel lethargic and fatigued all the time. Something as small as brushing my teeth became a laborious task. I withdrew from merrymaking, public engagements, and activities that I had found joy in earlier. I failed to find any joy in life anymore.

I made many attempts. I think they started as a result of feeling unhappy with myself. All the failed attempts were a call for help and desperation. I felt helpless and alone and I couldn't dare to face the demon. I began to get triggered by even the mere mention of weddings. I think, my parents untimely and apathetic response to my suffering was the nail in the coffin-I lost trust in anybody whom I considered close. The replaying of the incident, over and over again, left my conscious and spirit bruised and broken. I became quiet and reclusive. This was when my life slowly started to change, as I found out about law of assumption and then the void state. After knowing that I can change my life completely through the void I tried every single night till yesterday to enter the void state at any cost. I was so desperate to get in. I slapped myself every night to enter otherwise my life would never change and I'll also be miserable. I did everything that can be done but still I saw no progress. I slowly started to get super jealous of other people's success stories. Everytime I saw a new void success story here on Tumblr, I would cry so hard and isolate myself. Yeah :) I was so Harsh on myself.

But, Then I found out about you and your subliminals and then about your paid custom subliminal and how magically they work, and yeah I was a bit hesitant to pay you for the subliminal as I got scammed by people so many times but all those success people got from using your subliminal boosted my motivation and trust in you! and see, my money was worth it!!

I listened to that sub on loop for 3 hours for 4 days continuously and the night of the 4th day I ended up in the void. It was instant and so effortless, it all happened so effortlessly. I never thought I would enter like this after beating, slapping, and isolating myself to enter.

Thankyou for helping me, thankyou for the hardwork you put in your subliminals, thankyou for your sweet and motivating words ♡

Bye to Tumblr, all my fav bloggers, anons and Aura.

Signing off...

Wow! You did a great job my girl, Your success story is truly a GEM.

Sorry for everything you went through, I LOVE YOU <3

And Thankyou so much for taking your time and writing this beautiful success story to all of us 🤍

[cosmicjoke]

I swear to god, if I see one more person say Levi wanted to kill Zeke for "revenge" and blubber on about how revenge "blinded" him and that's why he got caught in the thunderspear explosion, I think I'll throw myself off a cliff.

It had nothing to do with revenge, or a desire for self-satisfaction. It was an entirely selfless pursuit, undertaken in the memory and in honor of his fallen comrades, the ones who gave their lives that day in Shinganshina. I've been over this so many times, I'm not going to go over it again in detail here. But anyone who doesn't yet understand that is, I'm sorry, fundamentally flawed in their understanding of Levi's character. This isn't an interpretation. Levi explicitly states that the reason he wants to kill Zeke is to prove his comrades deaths had meaning. He says it. Not only is the idea that Levi wanted Zeke dead for revenge and that he was "blinded" by that desire fundamentally flawed in its understanding of Levi's character, it also completely lacks logic. If Levi was really "blinded" by a quest for revenge, he would have just killed Zeke at the first opportunity he had, regardless of the consequences. He would have killed him in Shinganshina. He would have killed him in Liberio. He would have killed him in the forest. And yet, he didn't, specifically because he wasn't blinded by his need to kill Zeke at all. He had a calm and rational mind about it the entire time, one he continued to exercise to the very end.

And this idea that Levi getting caught in the thunderspear explosion was some sort of "comeuppance" for his violence or his blind desire for Zeke's blood is equally illogical and absurd, and again, completely misunderstands the source of Levi's rage in that moment. Anyone who claims so is engaging in some serious, holier than thou moralizing. Levi torturing Zeke in the cart on the way back to the Capital had nothing to do with his vow to kill him. Levi was grieving, and in a massive amount of emotional distress, because Zeke had just forced him to kill nearly 30 of his own comrades. Men and women Levi had, as with all his comrades, sworn to protect and people for whom he was directly responsible. People that posit this idea that Levi somehow deserved to "pay" for his anger in this moment are essentially claiming that it's always "wrong" to hate or be angry at someone when they've brutally wronged you. That we're always supposed to be "the bigger person" and "forgive" them and "turn the other cheek" and all that moralistic bullshit, and if you don't, then you deserve every bad thing that comes your way. Get the fuck out of here. Levi had EVERY right to be as angry as he was in that moment, and I'm sorry, but anyone who denies him that right is an asshole, and a hypocrite, because there's no such thing as anyone who wouldn't have been viciously, violently angry at someone who had just forced you into slaughtering your own friends and colleagues. Taken especially within the context of who Levi is, with the understanding of how driven he is by the need to protect life and help people, with how much value he places on people's lives, it puts into perspective just exactly how cruel it was what Zeke did to him. How exactly was Levi meant to react? Are we meant to judge him for being as angry as he was? For resorting to violence? Is anyone really going to sit here with a straight face and claim that they wouldn't have felt and done exactly the same in his shoes? I don't buy that for a minute. Most people wouldn't have even possessed Levi's level of restraint. They would have simply killed Zeke, and to hell with the consequences.

Further, Levi's very words to Hange about not understanding how prepared Zeke was to die show that he wasn't purely fueled by anger either, in this moment. It was a rational choice on his part to hook Zeke up to that thunderspear, insurance against his attempted escape, because he believed Zeke wasn't prepared to die, something I've talked about before, here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/746918499422781440/one-thing-i-dont-think-people-really-consider?source=share

Further still, if Isayama had intended for Levi’s desire to kill Zeke to be interpreted as revenge, and all the negative connotations of that, he would have had Levi realize the foolishness of his actions immediately after nearly being blown to Kingdom Come, and shown him remorseful and regretful in that moment over wanting Zeke dead, since, supposedly, him nearly dying was meant to be his lesson and punishment in the foolhardiness of revenge’s pursuit, according to these people. Yet Levi showed no such remorse or regret for wanting Zeke dead, only for him not understanding Zeke’s willingness to die. And Isayama himself wouldn’t have spoken about one of the reasons he didn’t kill Levi being how Levi’s journey wouldn’t be complete without him fulfilling his vow. Levi’s desire to kill Zeke was never framed in a negative light for a reason.

This total misinterpretation of Levi's motives with regard to Zeke is the source of so many of the negative and hateful views about his character that we see floating around, and yet it's continually perpetuated by people, over and over again, and I'm sick of it.

Levi never wanted revenge. He only ever wanted to ensure his comrades didn't die for nothing. It was a noble goal. Revenge isn't noble. But wanting to honor your friends and comrades memories and lives is. Levi never deserved to be punished for that, and honestly, fuck you to anyone who says he did. It takes a particular and acute lack of self-awareness and arrogance for anyone to make such a sickening and cruel claim.

[the-broken-truth]

Your Highness - Jamil Viper [Female Yuu] [Heiress Yuu] [Smug Jamil?] [Part 1]

Summary: Jamil discovers that his girlfriend is actually a Crowned Heiress who plans on marrying him in the future. To prepare Jamil for his upcoming life as a future king, Yuu provides him with an entourage of servants and guards who cater to his every need. Oh, it's time for Jamil to shine.

Note: Yuu is from Twisted Wonderland but was transported to Night Raven College due to her Unique Magic: Kneel Before Me.

"Forgive me, My Diamond, but I think that I have misheard what you said. Could you please repeat what you just said?" Jamil asked as he looked at his girlfriend, Yuu [L/N], The Prefect of Ramshackle, sitting across from him in Scarabia's Lounge; the two of them were playing Mancala when Yuu opened her mouth and revealed a secret that she had been keeping from Jamil and all her friends since arriving at Night Raven College.

"I have a confession to make. I am actually a royal heiress and the crowned princess of a small but lavish nation - next in line for the throne, however, I do not desire to rule my kingdom alone. Jamil Viper, I love you and cannot imagine myself with anybody else. I want to get engaged to you, and we can marry after I graduate from Night Raven. You can come to my kingdom with the rest of the Viper family, and we can all live like royalty."" Yuu explained with a hopeful smile as she looked up from the Mancala Board - she and Jamil tied in score at the moment.

Jamil Viper was an intelligent person who had the ability to detect a liar with a simple glance into someone's eyes. As Kalim's Protector, it was important for him to have knowledge in these areas. He trusted Yuu completely and knew that she would never lie to him. After his Overblot and Attempted Coup of Scarabia, she refused to turn her back to him before giving him her heart when their friendship became more in her eyes, and he reciprocated. They had been called 'The Hottest Couple' since they started dating months ago. Jamil was smart and athletic, while Yuu was charismatic and persuasive. They were both dedicated to each other and their goals. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with, and they didn't even need to use their Unique Magics to succeed in life.

Jamil always knew that Yuu was more than what she presented herself to be...and now he knew why: She was a crowned heiress and concealed this fact to protect herself from the vultures that would want to sink their talons into her family's name & riches.

"My Diamond... You are an Heiress, next in line for your family's throne, and you want...me to rule beside you? Me - a lowly servant?" Jamil questioned his romantic partner, who scowled at him when she heard him call himself a 'lowly servant'.

"My Viper, you are not a 'lowly servant' and I shall not allow you to call yourself as such!" Yuu barked before exhaling to calm herself down, "I am sick of the suffering you and your family have gone through and I shall not allow it to go on; the Viper Family will be free and elevated to the Royal Status while we are testing the waters with our engagement...if you accept my proposal." Yuu smiled at Jamil.

Jamil was silent for a moment before smiling at her, "I would love to marry you, My Diamond; you have seen me as no other has and I would never leave you. I will marry you, Yuu [L/N]."

"Perfect!" With that, Yuu lifted her hand and snapped her fingers, causing 5 Servants to enter the room dressed in fine suits - one of them carrying a silver platter with 2 ring boxes on it.

"Your Highness [L/N], has he agreed to your proposal?" The servant holding the ring boxes asked with a smile on his face.

"Yes! Please, present the rings." Yuu asked.

The servant with the platter kneeled between Yuu and Jamil before bowing his head and holding out the ring boxes while another servant opened the box with gloved hands, revealing 2 Golden Rings with Rubies in the shape of the [L/N] Royal Crest.

"Jamil, these are our engagement rings, as well as your Badge of Authority; accepting this ring will state that you agree to marry me upon graduation and will become Future King of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom, your power would be on par with my own, but just a tad bit weaker since I am a blood heiress. Will you accept, My Viper?" Yuu asked as she held her left hand out.

Jamil moved without thinking and took hold of Yuu's hand while the other hand removed the Female Engagement Ring out of the box and slid the ring onto Yuu's ring finger, "With this ring, I swear to love you and never betray you, My Diamond."

Yuu smiled at her ring before grabbing the Male Engagement Ring, grabbed Jamil's Left Hand, and placed the ring on Jamil's Ring Finger, "With this ring, I swear to love and never betray you, My Viper.".

Jamil and Yuu smiled at each other before Jamil placed his hands on Yuu's cheeks and kissed her in front of the servants and the full moon.

"SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ENGAGED?!" The voice of Jamil's Younger Sister, Najma Viper, yelled through the phone the moment her brother answered the phone the following morning after Yuu and himself exchanged rings. Najma called him the next morning while he was getting ready for school and making breakfast when his sister called him in hysterics.

"Good morning to you, too. How did you find out I was engaged? That happened just last night." Jamil asked.

"Baba got a call from someone calling themselves the 'Royal Advisor of the [L/N] Family from the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom. He said that he was going to speak to Mr. Asim about releasing our family from our servitude. I thought he was pulling our legs until I happened to be walking by Mr. Asim's Office and heard him on the phone with the same person, they were talking about the terms and conditions for our freedom. I listened in for a while before I heard the advisor say that he was going to arrive later on in the week with the agreed-upon price and the contract. Your Fiancee is getting us free?! Just what the hell is going on, Jamil?!" Najma questioned her older brother.

Jamil was silent for a while, thinking to himself, 'They have already contacted the Asim Family to free us? Just how long has My Diamond been planning this to move so quickly?'

"Listen, I have to get ready for classes; you and our parents are coming to visit me this weekend, I'll explain everything then and you can meet my future wife." Jamil answered.

"Fine. If anything happens, I'll call you. Just keep this in mind - if you do anything to anger my Future Sister-In-Law, I will have your head, Brother." Najma hissed.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Jamil smiled before hanging up his phone and walking out of his room to go make breakfast for the Scarabia Dorm before classes started.

Welll....

He wasn't expecting this.

Jamil entered Scarabia's Dining Hall (It was connected to the kitchen and needed to cross it to get into the kitchen) and looked wide-eyed to see the Students of Scarabia & Kalim dining on a buffet of breakfast foods; everyone was talking about Jamil's Engagement when Jamil noticed the Servant and Guard stand close to Kalim; did Yuu hire a personal servant and guard to tend to Kalim for him?

"Your Highness." A Servant walked over to Jamil and bowed to him before standing straight with his hand behind his back, "Breakfast was prepared by trained chefs, and, considering your job as Heir Kalim's Personal Taste Tester, we took it upon ourselves to call upon one of the [L/N] Family's Testers to ensure none of Heir Kalim's Food would be poisoned. Also, your chores are being tended to by the other servants. Your personal servant and guard are waiting for you to attend your classes."

Jamil blinked for a while when the realization started to sink in: His family was about to be free, he no longer had to cook, he no longer had to clean, he didn't 'have' to protect or tend to Kalim... He was going to be a Royal in a few years but out of everything he realized, the first thing he said was...

"I have servants?"

The students in the hall made way as Jamil walked through with a smile on his face as his servant walked to his right with Jamil's books in his hands, and the Royal Guard walked at Jamil's left while keeping an eye out for any kind of danger against His Highness Jamil; what's more ironic was that the Royal Guard was a Lion Beastman. If Leona saw him now...

"Oi, Serpent! What the hell is going on?!"

Speaking of the Lazy Devil.

Jamil turned on his heel and came face to face with Leona Kingscholar standing there with a scowl on his face; Jamil's smirk never left his face.

"Is there something I can help you with, Kingscholar?" Jamil asked.

"Yeah, tell me what the hell is going on with all this talk about you and the Herbivore being engaged and you're suddenly a royal about to be King? What kind of joke is this?" Leona demanded to know.

"It's not a joke, Mr. Kingscolar." The Servant spoke, "His Highness Jamil shall be next in line to be King of the [Kingdom Name] Kingdom once he and Princess Yuu wed at the end of their graduation."

"Princess?! That Herbivore is a Princess?!" Leona roared.

"She is not just any princess, she is The Crowned Princess. My Diamond has informed me that she is the eldest in the Royal Line of the [L/N] Family. She has two younger brothers who are second and third in line to the throne, but they have decided to become Dukes of their own lands. Yuu and I will be getting married, and I will ascend to the throne, becoming a King." Jamil explained with a smirk on his face.

"That Herbivore...is royalty?! AND A SERVANT LIKE YOU IS BECOMING KING?!" Leona roared at Jamil before attempting to march at him but the Lion Beastman got in between Jamil and Leona with his hand on Leona's chest.

"Keep your distance away from His Highness." The Lion Beastman Guard warned, glaring at Leona with golden eyes. Leona and the Royal Guard glared at each other while the Servant, Issac, leaned towards Jamil.

"Your Highness, we really should continue on our way or you shall be late for your classes." He said.

"Of course." Jamil said before snapping his fingers to get the Lion Beastman's Attention, "Leonardo, we need to get moving."

"At once, Your Highness." The Lion Guard - Leonardo - removed his hand from Leona's Chest and kept his eyes on him before walking down the hall to reach Jamil, leaving a very stunned and furious Leona behind.

"Hey! Sea Snake!" Floyd called out to Jamil during Basketball Practice as Jamil shot a ball into the basket and got nothing but net as he turned away from the net and turned to face Floyd as he and Ace walked over to him.

"What do you want, Leech?" Jamil asked as his servant walked over to him with a bottle of water and a fresh towel to wipe the sweat from his face; Jamil wiped his sweat before thanking the servant and taking the water bottle before the servant went back to the side of the court.

"Just what the hell is going on with You and Shrimpy? I heard you're getting married to Shrimpy?!" Floyd asked.

"I heard something like that too, Jamil-senpai; is it true?" Ace asked.

"Yes, Ace. Yuu and I are engaged to be married." Jamil said.

"And those guys?" Ace pointed at Leonardo and Issac standing on the edge of the court.

"My Servant and Guard - Leonardo and Issac." Jamil answered, drinking some water.

"Whoa... You really are going to be a King." Ace said upon laying his eyes on Jamil's Ring.

Jamil smirked along the rim of his bottle, "Indeed, I am."

"Welcome back, Your Highness." The Head Servant greeted with a power of her head to Jamil as he walked into Scarabia's Dorm. Jamil looked around Scarabia to see everyone was doing their own thing but Scarabia was spotless and the servants were standing by, waiting for Jamil's Next Order.

"What's the status of Scarabia?" Jamil asked as if everything had always been like this.

"The Chefs are cooking dinner as we speak, The Royal Tutor is aiding Heir Kalim with his studies, and Scarabia is clean; the Treasury Report is waiting for you in your room. Also, Princess Yuu wanted me to ask you to come to Ramshackle when you had a moment to yourself." The Head Servant said.

"Good. I am going to see My Diamond. If anything goes wrong, call me at once, please." Jamil said while turning back to the door as the servant bowed.

"Your Wish is our Will, Your Highness." The Head Servant said just as Jamil closed the door and looked at his ring for a moment.

'My Wish is their will?' Jamil smiled and kissed the surface of his ring when Yuu's smile came to his mind, "Thank you, My Diamond. You have given me so much...and I shall give you all that I can." Jamil proclaimed as he walked towards the Mirror to get to Ramshackle - His diamond came first.

[END]

[olderthannetfic]

RE: porn addiction discussion:

I've seen a lot of both breakups and divorces over that very thing in the past decade, Imo I don't think its reasonable to expect everyone who has seen a dissolving in their relationship due to the excessive pornography usage of one partner partner to just suck it up and get used to liking porn themselves, accept watching porn together as a replacement for their sex life, otherwise /they/ must be some non-communicative creep who just wants to use their partner like a dildo.

More and more chicks get pressured by guys into doing that. Or like the other asker said, acting out things from porn that they dont wanna do, and regret it/dont enjoy it. I think its less about ~protecting pristine sacred christian piv~ and more of an acknowledgement that its not realistic to expect the majority of sexual relationships to be able to healthily function like that as long as theres 'communication'.

Communication isn't the end all be all when there's only one clear party that this scenario benefits. The person with the broken dick. To promote the idea that they should, can and is be used against people who don't want that for themselves or their relationship, under the guise that if their boundaries are firm they must be some flavor of "sex negative/christian/radfem/prude"

There's nuance to the topic. People with the same level of porn usage can be happy together, engage in their kinks mutually, all that jazz. But there are also an increasing number of relationships where a dude uses porn and sex-positive language to pressure chicks into doing things they dont want to, having the kind of sex life that they dont want to, which becomes a slippery slope. Or a dude gets so into porn that hes leaving it open on his computer for their kids to see in an exhibitionist sort of way, completely disregarding welfare.

And I don't mean that as any sort of hyperbole or rhetoric, that example happened with my own Dad. Lemme tell you, your father leaving open pages and pages of anorexic amputee torture porn on the family computer that you, as an 8 year old girl, have to rush to close before your younger siblings come in the door after you home from school, will have an impact on both that relationship and ones level of comfort with porn longterm.

And even then, I still got into relationship after relationship once I was old enough, where guys were constantly wanting to replace sex with watching porn with them, and when we did have sex they always wanted to 'try something they saw' rather than just have fun doing something mutually enjoyable and intuitive. Partners sneaking off at my 15 year old sisters birthday party to jack off to 'teen porn' in the bathroom, leaving home for work early just to jack off in a gas station parking lot for 2 hours, watching porn in bed next to me when I have to get up for work soon, being unable to maintain an erection without porn-related stimuli (be it watching or scenarios), spiraling into cheating, etc. Years and years of sex positivity, attempts at understanding, experimenting, and accommodating, and communication on my end didn't help, until that communication was "I can't keep trying to salvage this by myself anymore, I'd be happier alone."

Not everyone is going to be down with it, or should push themselves to be, and not all reasons for not wanting that for your own sex life are rooted in some Christian or Radfem rhetoric. Lived experience plays a role in such stances. Strong boundaries can be hard to build when there's pressure in both the bedroom and outside world that the ones you have are 'wrong', but it's worth it to stand up for ones own comfort, security, and happiness rather than endlessly accommodating.

Personally, I'm overjoyed to have now found a longterm relationship now where the furthest extent of that either partner engages with is fanfic and lewd art. I wish everyone the same luck in finding a partner that has compatible desires.

--

~broken dick~

Oh please.

This kind of discussion is obsessed with "porn" meaning mainstream live action porn aimed at straight guys and with the kind of dumbass men who think that stuff is a model to emulate. In reality, there are shittons of types of porn. People who pressure their partners suck regardless of why.

These experiences sound shitty, but I'm still rolling my eyes at this spin.

[katyspersonal]

To be honest, I don't know how to get genuinely and deeply invested in something that isn't a Soulsborne universe anymore. For me it just isn't a passing hyperfixation that can be possibly replaced with some other game, no matter how high quality or meeting my "checkmarks". The worst I do is stretch my attention span between several From's universes instead of hardlocking on just one, and I didn't even touch Sekiro with a ten yards stick yet!

But, I've found in these universes, stories and characters understanding that I've failed to find in the real world, from real people. I've always looked in art instead, I think even before any knowledge or retrospection I just always unconsciously could tell the world didn't want me. Wasted a lot of time and effort seeking comfort and understanding in other "rejects" only to be abused by them and then thrown away when they've found other people who liked them but without my glaring flaws.

But I feel "seen" with these games, like never else. I feel understood with my despair, my perspective on society and humanity, my questioning of existence, the dread, the conflict with self and world, the inevitability, the failure to come up with the decision that would solve everything forever, the wonder, the struggle, the dilemma between needing to know and better off not knowing, the cycles, the way society tries to get rid of what they fear, the distrust but hope too, the knowledge that to lose suffering is to lose happiness too but also the root of my suffering itself... it is everything. I can relate to so many characters. It understands not just me, but also humanity in general; the very humanity that never really spoke to me, but it is as if I can feel a part of it again. No wonder I sometimes fall for jealously guarding these stories and characters. It hurts when something so personal and important is grossly misunderstood and when they try to throw it into the same evil machine that has been grinding and spitting out art for over a decade now. I guess I have to hold myself back and remember that how others see it doesn't effect me personally.. except, it does when this misunderstanding of the source material leads them to be mean to me, my friends or just fans in general. And engaging and defending just will make you become this same bad thing; again, something From covered too (Abyss Watchers). I discovered hope; not because there is anything good realistically waiting for me in my life, but because From explained the concept to me coherently enough. From taught me more than any preachy posts on how to people, or my authorities, or even my parents.

I am nearing my 30s, I will soon lose even attempts to be loved and understood. I won't ever hear things like "I wish I could hug you" again, I will enter the territory of "emotionally stunted adult" everyone loathe and fear. Though what does it matter if I was condemned my whole life anyways, they will merely switch their weapon. And I will never change. What happened to me long ago was akin to being forced to grow inside of an egg long past the point of hatching, so now I hatched as a small and malformed version of an adult animal and will die fast and unaccomplished. And I at least found these games to understand me.

Only, they won't last long either. I know corporative brainrot is coming for them too, I know Miyazaki won't be able to protect their principles and quality for the rest of my feeble uneventful life. How do I know that? From's games taught me that nothing good lasts forever, it all must die and will rot horrendously if it isn't allowed to. Art as well. But I also can at least deal with it in advance, I accept deaths of concepts and things I cherish easier too. I still hope that I'll come up with my own world eventually, and that I'll also kill it before it rots.

[primordial-archetypes]

My first visit to an Orthodox Divine Liturgy - a reflection

Sunday 16th March 2025 - Sunday of St. Gregory Palamas. Russian Orthodox Divine Liturgy.

It has taken me quite a few months to finally be able to experience the Divine Liturgy in person. This was actually my third attempt at travelling to London; previous attempts failed due to being struck with sudden (and in one case, very serious) illness. It became obvious that the powers of darkness were trying to stop me from attending a Divine Liturgy because they knew that if I did, I would never be the same again. They were right.

As I entered the church, I was immediately struck with a sense of wonder and stillness. The lights had yet to be turned on so all of the icons and relics were illuminated by lots of thin beeswax tapers. There was an incredibly long line for confession, something I had rarely, if ever, seen as a Roman Catholic. After venerating the icons of Our Lord and the various saints that are particularly venerated at this church - St. Seraphim of Sarov, the Romanov Royal Martyr's etc - I stood in silence, allowing myself time to gaze at the iconostasis and the incredible artwork that covered every inch of every wall and ceiling. No matter where I looked, Christ and His saints were there.

As the time for the Liturgy to start came closer, more and more people filed in, offering reverences according to their own custom. The bells start to ring to announce the arrival of the Bishop. We watch him being vested and I am immediately struck with the physical and metaphorical weight of his office. Many bows and sign of the cross followed and continued throughout the entire three hour liturgy (standing). All my senses were engaged - the sight of the lights, candles, the icons and the wonderful vestments; the sound of the choir singing in Church Slavonic, the bells attached to the censers, the gentle murmuring of responses from the laity; the incredible bouquet of scents from the incense that is constantly wafting throughout the temple; the feel of the gentle heat from the many candles, the weight on my feet the longer I stood; the only sense that wasn't engaged was taste, however this will soon change once I am able to receive Holy Communion - and what a sweet taste it will be! Receiving a morsel of the Antidoron at the end of the liturgy was a privilege in itself, to be sure, yet the sweetness of this blessed bread is only a shadow of what is to come.

My mind is at ease and I gently recite the Jesus Prayers whenever the liturgy is said in Church Slavonic (about 85% of the time) for although I couldn't understand what was being said, I prayed that God would illumine my heart all the same. As the liturgy goes on, I am constantly struck by the feeling of awe, wonder and sanctity of the place. I was no longer in London, nor was I on Earth; I was being transported to Heaven, to worship among the angels and saints. I felt unworthy to be present, yet I was not afraid or despondent. The feeling of unworthiness increased my plea for mercy, forgiveness and repentance all the more. Like the Prodigal Son, I was journeying back to the Father who was waiting for me, arms open wide, ready to receive me.

At various times, when the people were joining their voices with the clergy to sing the Creed and the Lord's Prayer, I had shivers up and down my spine. My back, legs and feet were growing tired but I didn't care. I was ready to do it all over again.

Seeing the people line up for Holy Communion, watching just how reverent they were, I yearned all the more to receive this greatest of Gifts. Being able to kiss the cross and receive a blessing from the Bishop once the liturgy was finished was also a great blessing. I wanted to sit at the feet of the Bishop and his clergy and learn all I could from them.

My dear friend gave me a tour of the lower church, showing me various icons and relics that hailed from Russia and communist ruled nations - all smuggled out in order to protect these precious and holy images. This church is a haven, a refuge for the things that were threatened with total destruction. And I knew that one day soon, when I am fully received into Orthodoxy, this church would become my own haven and refuge.

Leaving the church, my mind and heart were still filled with wonder but I experienced a taste of blessed stillness, the peace of Heaven itself.

I was home.

[syuga-s]

something good can work

(a.k.a who do you blame part two)

w.c. 8.2k pairing. Yoongi x fem!reader, Taehyung x fem!reader genre. same ol' angst sorry, nothing smutty just big emotions a/n. YAY THE 2ND PART IS OUTTTTT!! i didn't think i'd take this long i don't even have an excuse,, very poorly proofread, i'll get to that sometime later i just wanted to get this out lmao a very special tag for @amyz78 ♡

Gemma chimed in, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she surveyed Taehyung. “Ooh, cute!” gave him a wink and added, “You sure know how to pick ’em.”

As you and your girls exchanged hugs as if you hadn’t seen them in forever, Jin’s keen gaze fell on Taehyung, taking in his appearance with a quick yet thorough assessment. With a friendly smile, Jin extended his hand in greeting. “Hey man, I’m Jin. Nice to meet you.”

Taehyung returned the gesture, albeit with a slight hesitance in his movements. “Likewise bro, Taehyung” he replied.

Noticing Taehyung’s vintage baseball cap adorned with the logo of the team, Jin’s interest piqued. “Nice cap,” he remarked, gesturing towards Taehyung’s headwear. “you a big fan?”

Taehyung’s eyes lit up at the question, “Yeah, love the game,” he replied, a hint of enthusiasm seeping into his voice. “I’ve never been to a live one though, it’s my first.”

“I highly recommend the live experience,” Jin chimed in, his tone friendly yet genuine. “There’s nothing quite like being at the stadium, especially when you’re cheering for your team.”

Taehyung nodded in agreement, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I can imagine,” he replied, his eyes flickering with excitement. “I already feel a whole different vibe compared to watching one on TV.”

As the conversation flowed effortlessly between them, Jin couldn’t help but notice the subtle nuances in Taehyung’s demeanor. Despite his initial reservations, Taehyung seemed to relax in Jin’s presence.

For Jin, deciphering people was second nature, a skill honed over years of observation and analysis. With each passing moment, Jin found himself growing more intrigued by this newcomer in your life, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive as he sought to decipher Taehyung.

Between the shouting at players, ordering beers, turning over to talk with the girls, and all that. The conversation between Jin and Taehyung flowed to their lines of work.

As the game progressed and the atmosphere at the stadium grew more animated, Jin found himself engaged in conversation with Taehyung, although with a growing sense of unease gnawing at the back of his mind. Despite his best efforts to remain cordial, Jin couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about this guy.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Jin inquired, his tone casual yet genuinely curious.

Taehyung’s expression took on a smug air as he leaned back in his seat, a self-assured smirk playing on his lips. “I’m a property developer,” he replied, his voice laced with a hint of superiority. “It’s a rather lucrative field, I must say.”

Jin raised an eyebrow, masking his growing annoyance with a polite smile. “Ah, I see,” he responded evenly, refusing to let Taehyung’s arrogance get under his skin. “I’m a dentist myself. It may not be as glamorous as your line of work, but it’s great I must say.”

As they discussed their respective professions, Jin couldn’t help but notice the way Taehyung spoke about his life with a hint of condescension, as if he were talking to a lowborn rather than an accomplished professional. Taehyung’s tone was laced with a thinly veiled superiority, his demeanor exuding an air of so-called refinement and sophistication.

Jin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, choosing instead to maintain a composed facade.

Despite Taehyung’s attempts to assert his dominance, Jin remained unfazed, silently vowing to keep a close eye on the developer in the following hours. After all, beneath Taehyung’s front of sophistication lay a man who showed a hint of nervousness in his demeanor.

Throughout the day, Taehyung remained somewhat reserved, his responses measured and cautious compared to the outgoing self you’ve seen on your dates. After all your best efforts to include him in the lively banter and inside jokes, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was holding back, as if unsure of how to navigate the energy coming from your friends.

After the baseball game came to an end, you and your friends decided to grab something at the burger joint owned by one of your close friends. The cozy restaurant provided the perfect spot for more conversation, the main reason being to get to know your new lover boy, yet Taehyung seemed to cast a tiny speckle over the gathering. It seemed as if he shrank himself around your friends.

As you settled into a booth with your friends, Taehyung’s presence became increasingly subdued, his responses to the group’s banter growing more hesitant with each passing moment. Despite your attempts to include him, he seemed somewhat detached.

The conversation with you and your friends quickly turned to gossip about one of your former friends. Sam’s incredulous expression mirrored the disbelief in her voice as she exclaimed, “Can you believe she actually did that?”

Gemma, shaking her head in amusement, added, “I mean, who literally never returns borrowed clothes? She got herself an outfit, thanks to the three of us. Shoes from Sam, a jacket from you, and a dress from me.”

Amidst the shared laughter, Taehyung appeared to be struggling to find his footing. His usual confidence seemed to falter in the face of your friends’ dynamic energy, leaving him somewhat quiet.

Jin, ever the observer, chimed in with a wry grin, “Sounds like she’s always been a handful.”

You shot Jin a playful response, adding, “Oh, you have no idea.”

As the conversation flowed around, Taehyung remained quiet, his gaze flickering between your friends. Sensing his discomfort, you nudged him playfully and teased, “What do you think? Ever had a friend or an ex like that?”

Taehyung managed a hesitant smile, his eyes darting away briefly before returning to meet yours. “Uh, no, nothing too crazy,” he replied with a soft laugh. With this, Taehyung seemed to relax into the group dynamic, his laughter mingling with yours as he shared in the lighthearted jokes that came before his response.

As Gemma joined in on the conversation, you made a point to include Taehyung, gesturing for him to join in on the gossip with a playful smile. Taehyung’s hand found its way to your knee, his touch sending a shiver to you. Despite his reserved demeanor, you couldn’t deny the warmth of his presence beside you, grateful for the effort your friends were making to make him feel welcome.

After lunch, you and Taehyung walked hand in hand down the bustling streets, your friends walking ahead of you, the warmth of the sun casting a golden glow over the city.

As you strolled along, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of your stomach. Taehyung’s reserved behavior during lunch left you unsettled, his usual charm overshadowed by a newfound hesitance that seemed out of character.

“Hey,” you began tentatively, breaking the silence that had settled between you, “Are you okay?”

Taehyung glanced at you, his expression unreadable. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he replied with a forced smile, though his eyes betrayed a hint of uncertainty.

You tightened your grip on his hand, a surge of concern flooding through you. “You seemed a bit quiet back there,” you pressed gently, grabbing his face in your hand, searching for any sign of what was bothering him.

Taehyung hesitated, his gaze flickering away before returning to meet yours. “I guess I just felt a bit out of place,” he admitted finally, his voice tinged with vulnerability. “Your friends... they’re absolutely great, really, I can see why you love them, but I can’t help but feel like I don’t quite fit in.”

Your heart twinged with sympathy at his words, a pang of guilt washing over you as you realized the extent of his discomfort. “I’m sorry,” Taehyung murmured, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “I should have made more of an effort.”

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. “God, don’t say that you’re sorry, this is just you meeting new people,” you assured him, your tone softening. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

After lunch, you and Taehyung decided to head to a nearby bar that had a couple of pool tables. Gemma, Sam, and Jin eagerly joined, excited for more fun and conversation.

As you entered the bar, the sound of pool balls clacking against each other filled the air, adding to the ambiance of the place. Gemma let out a whoop of excitement, already eyeing the pool tables with enthusiasm.

"I call the first game!" Gemma exclaimed, practically bouncing with energy as she made her way to the nearest table.

Sam followed close behind, a mischievous grin on her face. "Oh, it's on," she declared, rolling up her sleeves in anticipation.

Jin chuckled at the friendly competitiveness between Gemma and Sam, a smirk playing on his lips as he predicted an intense match between the two. Taehyung stood by your side, watching the scene unfold with a small smile tugging at his lips.

As Gemma lined up her shot, her competitive streak shining through in every movement, you turned to Taehyung and suggested, "How about we team up for a game? Show them what we're made of."

Taehyung's eyes lit up at the challenge, his reserved demeanor from earlier fading away as he nodded enthusiastically. "Sounds like a plan," he replied, a hint of excitement creeping into his voice.

You and Taehyung stepped up to the pool table, cue sticks in hand, ready to take on Gemma and Sam. The game quickly turned into a lively competition, filled with laughter, banter, and friendly teasing.

With each shot, Taehyung's confidence grew, his skills matching yours as the two of you worked together seamlessly, sinking ball after ball with precision. Your friends watched in amazement as the game progressed, their cheers and applause messing with the atmosphere of the bar.

As the match drew to a close, it became evident that you and Taehyung were on the brink of victory. With one final shot, Taehyung skillfully pocketed the eight ball, sealing your win with a triumphant grin.

Gemma and Sam applauded good-naturedly, conceding defeat with playful pouts before breaking into laughter. Jin clapped Taehyung on the back, a proud smile on his face as he praised, "Impressive, you two."

As the evening wore on and the conversation flowed freely, you found yourself deep in discussion with Gemma about your upcoming trip to a music festival. Excitement bubbled within you as you animatedly talked about the lineup, the accommodations you wanted to book, and the outfits you were planning to wear. Gemma mirrored your enthusiasm, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she listened to your plans unfold.

"So, we'll catch the midnight flight on Thursday, right?" Gemma asked, leaning in closer as she eagerly awaited your response.

"Definitely," you replied with a nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "We'll have plenty of time to check into the hotel and grab some lunch before the festival kicks off."

As you continued to discuss the details of your trip, Taehyung interjected, his voice cutting through the conversation with unexpected confidence. "Oh my god you’re going to that?" he remarked, his eyes alight with excitement. "Mind if I tag along? I’ve been meaning to go for years too!"

You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by Taehyung's sudden invitation.

You exchanged a look with Gemma, both of you unsure of how to respond to Taehyung's unexpected request. Before you could say anything, Taehyung continued, his enthusiasm growing by the second.

"And hey, since we'll already be there, why don't you stay a few extra days with me?" he suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We could go and meet my dad, make a mini vacation out of it."

Your heart skipped a beat at Taehyung's proposal, but not in a good way. A mini vacation? Meeting his dad? It all felt too serious and overwhelming for someone who had only been dating him for a few weeks.

Your head spun with the rapid-fire pace of his suggestions, struggling to keep up with the whirlwind of activity unfolding before you. You hadn't even had a chance to process his self-invitation, let alone make any concrete plans.

Before you could gather your thoughts, Taehyung was already pulling out his phone, his fingers flying over the screen as he hastily began to make plans. You exchanged a bewildered look with Gemma, silently wondering if you were the only one feeling overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

Feeling the weight of Taehyung's expectations bearing down on you, you struggled to find the words to respond. "I... um... I'll have to think about it," you finally managed to stammer out, hoping to buy yourself some time to process everything that had just been thrown your way.

Gemma shot you a sympathetic look, clearly sensing your discomfort. "Yeah, you definitely need to discuss it further," she added, coming to your rescue.

This was all moving so fast, and you couldn't shake the feeling that Taehyung was rushing into things without considering your thoughts or feelings.

His sudden eagerness to insert himself into your future plans, coupled with his brash confidence and seemingly disregard for your input, left you questioning whether you truly knew him as well as you thought. Beneath his charming exterior lay a man with a penchant for taking control, his assertiveness bordering on arrogance at times. While you had been drawn to his personality initially, you now found yourself wondering if there was more to Taehyung than met the eye.

Was this eagerness to dive headfirst into your relationship a sign of genuine affection, or simply a desire to assert dominance and control over your life?

The rapid pace at which Taehyung seemed to be moving the relationship forward, coupled with his insistence on intertwining your lives so quickly, raised red flags in your mind. Was this level of devotion genuine, or a form of love-bombing designed to sweep you off your feet and secure your affections? As you grapple with these conflicting thoughts and emotions, you can't help but wonder if Taehyung's was just too good to be true.

As the chatter and clinking of glasses continued, you pushed back from the table. Your heart raced and your palms were slick with sweat as you mumbled an excuse about needing to use the restroom. The chatter of voices faded into the background as you stepped away, leaving behind the warmth and comfort of your friends' presence.

Standing in front of the mirror in the quiet restroom, you took a deep breath and studied your reflection. The familiar swirl of conflicting emotions stirred within you, but one thing remained certain: your gut feeling was unwavering. With a silent vow to trust yourself and your past experiences, you straightened your shoulders and rejoined everyone at the table.

Later in your room, as the golden hues of the Sunday afternoon bathed the world outside, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled deep within your soul. The warmth of the weekend's fleeting moments lingered like a bittersweet memory, leaving a faint trace of longing in its wake. Despite the laughter shared, the smiles exchanged, and the tender moments cherished, there was an underlying sense of discontent that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

With each passing hour, the realization dawned upon you like a slow-moving shadow creeping across the room. Something had shifted within you, an intangible yet undeniable shift in your emotions.

In the quiet solitude of your thoughts, you found yourself yearning for a reprieve, a moment of respite from the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to engulf you whole. What began as a simple desire for solitude soon evolved into a desperate need to distance yourself, to create a barrier between yourself and the overwhelming intensity of the feelings that had taken root within your heart.

After that weekend, something stirred inside you. The initial excitement and anticipation you had felt with Taehyung seemed to fade. What once felt thrilling now seemed overwhelming, almost suffocating. You tried to shake it off, thinking perhaps you just needed some time to yourself. But as the days went by, your desire for space only grew. You found yourself reluctant to make plans, even hesitant to text back as usual.

You were so sure you could fall in love, but the intensity of Taehyung's affection was too much. His constant need for connection, his declarations of love, and the speed at which he wanted to move forward felt like a tidal wave. You weren't used to that level of intensity. It left you feeling like the biggest red flag in the story.

Questions swirled in your mind, eating away at your confidence.

"This guy is falling so hard for you, why are you backing out?"

"Are you really that messed up if you’re not able to handle someone loving you?"

Each question felt like a jab, poking at your insecurities. You wondered if you were sabotaging something beautiful or if your instincts were warning you of a deeper issue.

You kept talking to Taehyung in the following days, but your heart wasn't in it. You could sense his growing suspicion, his worry evident in the way he asked if you were okay, if you had time to see each other. The guilt gnawed at you, especially when you heard the genuine concern in his voice. It made you question everything. Was it you? Was it him? Were you really not ready, or were you just afraid?

Deep down, you didn't trust that someone could fall in love like this in just three weeks. It felt too rushed, too intense. And even if it was true, it wasn't the kind of relationship you wanted. You didn't want to be detached. You wanted to be invested in the next person you fell in love with. You didn't want to feel annoyed or reply just because you had to. You knew you still had a long way to go, a lot of work to do on your feelings and how you dealt with relationships. You hated when they made you feel like you were the one in the wrong. Why would you be wrong to feel how you feel?

Perhaps you weren't ready for the kind of love he offered. The intensity of his feelings left you feeling exposed, and vulnerable in a way you had never experienced before.

The lines between love and self-preservation blurred until they became indistinguishable from one another. You questioned your own worth, and your own capacity for love, as doubts and insecurities gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

In the days that followed, you found yourself locked in a silent struggle, torn between the conflicting desires of your heart and mind but despite the lingering doubts that gnawed at your conscience, you continued to engage with Taehyung, exchanging messages and sharing snippets of your day.

Yet with each passing interaction, a sense of reluctance began to take root within you, a hesitancy to commit to plans for the following week that lingered on the tip of your tongue. You were still battling with yourself, wrestling with the internal turmoil that threatened to consume you whole.

As the days stretched on, the weight of your indecision grew heavier, casting a shadow over the once-bright promise of love and romance. You found yourself caught in a constant tug-of-war between your head and your heart, each vying for dominance over the other in a battle for control.

And so you continued to navigate the fickle direction of your relationship with Taehyung. But deep down, a part of you couldn't help but wonder—was this truly what you wanted for yourself, or were you merely settling to prove to yourself, and perhaps to others, that Yoongi was no longer someone important in your life?

Taehyung had seemed like the beacon of light guiding you out of the darkness of heartbreak. You had convinced yourself that he was all you wanted, perhaps even desperately so, in your eager pursuit to move on from someone who had given you nothing. Every smile, every touch, every whispered promise felt like a lifeline, pulling you away from the memories of a love that had left you in pieces.

Still, how could you not feel insecure and fearful when someone professed such intense love after only a few weeks? It seemed too good to be true, too rushed, too perfect. It left you questioning the authenticity of his feelings, wondering if his declarations were genuine or merely a means to an end. Could someone truly fall so deeply in love with you in such a short time, or was it all just a facade, a performance put on to win your heart?

Fake, rushed, and unsettling. Not exactly the words you’d describe love as.

After a long day of work, Taehyung could sense that something was amiss. Your texts had been shorter, less enthusiastic, and devoid of the usual playful banter that had become your norm. Concerned, he suggested meeting up or at least having a phone call to understand what was going on. When you agreed to the call, a knot of anxiety formed in your stomach.

As soon as you heard Taehyung's voice on the other end, a wave of guilt washed over you. His tone was gentle and filled with concern, making you rethink your distant behavior. Despite your intentions to keep your emotions in check, it had been extremely difficult to mask your feelings. Now, hearing him speak, you were more certain than ever that you needed to end this.

"Hey," Taehyung began softly, "I've been thinking a lot today, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something's bothering you. I wanted to talk because I care about you, and I hope we can figure this out together."

Taehyung's voice was warm and earnest, tugging at your heartstrings. His words made you rethink everything that had led up to this moment. He opened up about how much he enjoyed getting to know you – reminiscing about your dates, late-night conversations, the building of a 57-hour-long playlist together, and watching movies while on calls. He confessed that he had developed strong feelings for you and wanted to pursue a relationship.

"But listen, before anything, I just want you to know that I want to be with the person you are at this very moment," Taehyung spoke with sincerity. "I am trying my best to make you fall in love with me because I am genuinely attracted to who you are, your mind and heart are truly what I love. If you let me into your life, it will be reciprocated from my end as well. My intention is not to waste your time. It's such a pleasure to coexist with you, and this call is an opportunity for us to talk about what we have. So please, tell me how you feel."

As you listened to his heartfelt confession, a whirlwind of emotions stirred inside of you. His genuine affection contrasted sharply with your recent doubts and fears. Despite his earnestness and commitment, deep down you knew that you could not return those same feelings. The realization was bittersweet, but it brought clarity – you did not want to continue this relationship.

A lump formed in the back of your throat, threatening to choke you as his words sank in. The sincerity in his voice only made it harder to confront the reality of your feelings. With a shaky breath, you knew it was time to be honest.

"Taehyung," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "I appreciate everything you've said. You've been more than amazing, a true breath of fresh air into my life. I never thought I could open up and tell someone so much about myself, but with you, it just felt right. Every date and call we've had has brought me so much joy and happiness. It's been so good spending time with you and doing our favorite things together."

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts before continuing. "But if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I'm ready for this. It's not that I don't care about you or have strong feelings for you...it's just that I still need time to figure things out. I need to focus on what I want before I can fully commit to someone as wonderful as you."

There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line as Taehyung absorbed your words. "I understand," he finally replied, his voice filled with emotion. "It's important for you to take the time you need. I don't want to pressure or rush you into anything."

You could feel the disappointment radiating from him through the phone, and it tugged at your heartstrings. "I hope we can still be friends, and who knows what will happen in the future? Maybe things will be different then." Taehyung's voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again. "This doesn't mean we have to stop going out, right? I still have so many places I want to take you, concerts we have to go to."

A small smile graced your lips at his words. "Of course not," you replied.

After ending the call with Taehyung, a sense of relief washed over you, lifting the weight that had been pressing down on your shoulders. Contrary to what one might expect, you didn't feel bad about the conversation; instead, you felt a newfound sense of liberation.

In the quiet moments after the call, as you sat with your thoughts, the sense of relief grew stronger. You weren't heartless; you were just protecting yourself. It was okay to take a step back.

You thought that everything was on good terms despite the falling out. After the call, Taehyung continued to text you, making casual conversation about movies and sharing recommendations as if nothing had changed. It gave you a sense of relief, believing that maybe you could transition smoothly into a friendship.

But the next day, unexpectedly, things took a sharp turn. You were scrolling through your Instagram feed when you noticed something was missing—Taehyung's account. His profile, once filled with snapshots of his life and moments you had shared together, was now completely gone. Your heart dropped as you tried to shake off the unsettling feeling, assuring yourself that he must have needed a break from social media.

The next day, you found yourself at a quaint rooftop gathering with your old college friends. The clinking of glasses and bursts of laughter filled the air, creating a warm and nostalgic ambiance. You were surrounded by familiar faces and inside jokes, and for a moment everything felt light and carefree.

As the night went on and the drinks flowed freely, you couldn't help but loosen your tongue. With each sip, you recounted the recent events of your love life - the highs and lows, Taehyung's irresistible charm, and the sudden ending that left you reeling. As you spoke, a mix of relief washed over you.

At 2:13 am, as you were caught up in reminiscing with your friends, your phone buzzed. It was a message from Taehyung: "U up?" You stared at the screen in surprise, his casualness catching you off guard. Despite the lingering emotions stirred up by his message, you decided against replying and slipped your phone back into your pocket.

In the following days, Taehyung's attempts to reconnect with you grew more intense. He sent friendly texts inviting you out to places where you used to dance together, suggesting it’d be "just as friends." He mentioned how much he enjoyed going out with you and how he knew music was something you loved. Despite his seemingly earnest efforts, you couldn't shake off the feeling that something about his sudden friendliness felt forced and weird.

Then, things took an even stranger turn. One day, as you were scrolling through social media, you noticed that Taehyung had unfollowed both you and your friends. His posts had disappeared without a trace - either deleted or archived - and his profile picture was gone. Confused and slightly alarmed, you tried to check the Spotify playlist you had been making, only to find that he had blocked you there as well.

"What the hell?" you muttered to yourself, staring at your phone in disbelief. The sudden and drastic changes in Taehyung's behavior only confirmed the unease that had been building inside you. His actions were volatile and erratic, and it was becoming clear that he wasn't the person you once thought him to be.

A burst of laughter erupted from you, uncontrollable and genuine. "Can you believe it? He actually blocked me on Spotify," you chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. It seemed so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it was also oddly amusing. What could possibly have provoked him to take such a petty action against your Spotify profile? The thought made you grin even wider as you tried to stifle another fit of laughter.

"I don't know what's more surprising, the fact that he blocked you or that he thought blocking you on Spotify would bring about some profound impact," your friend Gemma chimed in, her face lighting up with amusement.

Indeed, it was a peculiar situation to be in. It felt like being placed in a dramatic film, with events unfolding in unexpectedly comedic ways. You quirked an eyebrow at Gemma's comment, leaning back against the couch and sighing.

"Well, whatever his intentions might have been," you mused aloud, "I think it just shows how petty he is."

Gemma chuckled quietly at your words, her eyes gleaming with laughter as she nodded in agreement. The two of you sat there in the soft glow of the room, laughing over the absurdity of the situation.

“Hey, I need to ask you something,” Gemma's unexpected comment caught you off guard. "Why do you always tell them you're not ready?" she asked, her tone curious yet probing.

The question hung in the air, lingering in the space between you. It felt like a curveball, striking at the heart of your insecurities and doubts. You had never stopped to ask yourself why you constantly used the same excuse, why you always pushed people away with the same refrain.

For a moment, you were speechless, caught in the whirlwind of your own thoughts. Why did you always say that? Was it the truth, or merely an excuse to avoid confronting your deeper fears and uncertainties?

As you grappled with these questions, a sense of unease settled over you. Perhaps there was more to your reluctance than you cared to admit, buried beneath layers of self-doubt and uncertainty. Was it possible that you were using the excuse of not being ready as a shield to protect yourself from the vulnerability of opening up to someone new?

You met Gemma's gaze and offered a tentative reply. "I guess... it's just easier to say that than to admit the truth," you admitted, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Maybe I'm not ready, or maybe... maybe it's something else. Maybe it's fear, or self-doubt, or..."

Your voice trailed off as you struggled to put your thoughts into words. Silence filled the room as if waiting for you to grasp the elusive truth about yourself. Gemma's eyes were steady on yours, offering silent encouragement and understanding.

"Or maybe... it's because I don't trust myself anymore," you finally confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "I don't trust myself to be in a relationship without screwing it up or realize someone was lying to me again."

You still couldn't believe how you were able to sense bad things about everyone but could never do that with Yoongi. What was the deal with that?

Thinking back to Yoongi, you realized how different it was with him. With Yoongi, there was no rush, no overwhelming intensity. It was comfortable, like slipping into a well-worn sweater. You didn't have to second-guess his intentions or your feelings. It was simple, without the pressure of immediate declarations of love.

But with Taehyung, it felt like you were constantly on edge, trying to meet expectations you weren't even sure you could handle. His affection, while sincere, felt like a spotlight shining too brightly, exposing every crack and flaw in your emotional armor. And instead of feeling cherished, you felt scrutinized.

You could feel Gemma's gaze soften at your confession. Her quiet acceptance of your raw vulnerability was comforting in its own way. She reached out and squeezed your hand gently, a tacit acknowledgment of your bravery in admitting such long-buried fears.

"C'mon, love," she said gently, pulling you up from the couch, "let's get something sweet from the kitchen. You've earned it."

The rest of the night passed in a comfortable silence, punctuated only by occasional laughter and the comforting sounds of late-night baking. As you nibbled on warm chocolate chip cookies - Gemma's specialty - and sipped rich hot coffee, something within you began to shift.

For the first time in a long time, instead of feeling overwhelmed by your insecurities and fears, you felt an odd sense of peace. It was as if speaking those words out loud had lifted a weight off your shoulders - a revelation that maybe it was okay not to have everything figured out.

Looking at Gemma across the kitchen island, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the overhead light, you realize something else too. You weren't alone; there were people around you who cared about you and would stand by you through thick and thin.

You picked up your mug and raised it in a toast to her, a small smile playing on your lips. "To figuring things out," you stated valiantly. The clink of your mugs echoed in the silent kitchen as Gemma grinned back at you.

"Figuring things out," she echoed, her words lingering in the silence of the room. Amidst the lingering taste of cookies and coffee, amidst all the uncertainty and self-doubt, something warm began to bloom within your chest - a sense of hope, a fresh start.

With that night serving as a turning point, you found yourself learning to trust yourself again, inch by inch. You learned to let go of the past and look forward to a future where you could be happy with or without a relationship. And most importantly, you discovered that sometimes opening up about your fears was not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of courage and growth.

After all, there was truth in what Gemma had said - everyone was just figuring things out, one step at a time.

Life went on and so did you. The days turned into weeks and before you knew it, a month had passed since your breakup with Taehyung. Taehyung's memory began to fade like a photograph left too long in the sun. You went about your life as usual - indulging in late-night movies with friends, exploring new music, finding joy in small things - all without the shadow of his presence looming over you.

Your life resumed its regular rhythm and things seemed normal again...as normal as they could be without someone.

You still missed him sometimes; when certain songs played on the street and when certain places reminded you of him – but as each day passed, these moments became fewer and further between.

One day while walking home from work, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A message from an unknown number was waiting for you, the words sending a chill down your spine.

"Hey... It's Yoongi. Can we talk?"

You froze in your tracks, staring at the screen with wide eyes. A million thoughts ran through your mind at once - why was he contacting you now? What did he want to talk about? And the most important question of them all: Were you actually going to respond?

As you stood there on the sidewalk, the world around you seemed to come to a halt. Your heart pounded in your chest as you weighed your options. Should you ignore the message and continue on your way? Or should you take a leap of faith and reply, opening up the possibility of having him in your life again?

The choice was yours and yours alone. Next thing you knew, he was calling you.

You stared at your phone, hesitating for a moment before answering. "Hello?" you said tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," came his familiar voice, sending a wave of emotions crashing over you. "I'm sorry to bother you, I know this is probably the last thing you expected, but..." His voice trailed off as if searching for the right words.

"But what?" you asked, your curiosity getting the better of you.

He sighed heavily, the sound echoing through the phone. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

His admission caught you completely off guard, his raw sincerity hitting you straight in the gut.

You immediately closed your eyes forcefully and pinched the bridge of your nose.

It had been so long since you had heard his voice; it was a sound that evoked a whirlwind of conflicting feelings.

Anger, bitterness, and sadness fought against nostalgia and fond memories. You were reminded of the warmth of his embrace, the gentleness of his touch, the soothing cadence of his words.

A lump formed in your throat as you tried to swallow back the tears that threatened to spill over. Heaving a deep sigh, you braced yourself as you replied, "How have you been? It's been so long since we last spoke."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line as if he was equally shocked by how different your voice sounded. When he finally responded, there was a smile in his voice. "I've been doing okay. Busy with work as usual, but it keeps me sane."

Why is it that you're always willing to let him into your life, without regard for what he represents to you? After all he's done in your relationship or the lack thereof? Why is it so difficult to let go of someone who doesn't care for you as you do him? Someone who is content with being friends with you, yet never tries to give you something more than that. It's so damn frustrating... And heartbreaking too, no less.

At that moment, the only emotion you felt was regret for not seeing the signs earlier when he had still cared enough to show he was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, you chuckled half-heartedly. "Yeah, I guess it would keep anyone sane," you teased lightly.

However, your effort at humor fell flat as he remained silent on the other end. Your breath caught in your throat, unsure what to make of his silence. Was it a sign of him wanting to continue or was he waiting for you to elaborate? You held your tongue, feeling lost and confused in this situation.

"I miss you," he murmured, his voice soft and filled with longing. The simple admission took your breath away.

"And how does your girlfriend feel about that?" you replied. At the mention of his current relationship status, you could practically hear the crickets chirping in the distance as an awkward silence settled between you.

A few moments passed before he hesitantly answered, "Actually..." His voice trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

"What happened? If I may ask," you probed gently.

"She left. Well, we ended things actually," he corrected himself.

"Oh..." Your response hung awkwardly in the air as neither one of you knew how to continue.

Finally, after a few painful seconds, you gathered your courage to ask the question that had been burning in your mind since you received his message: "Is that why you contacted me?"

His hesitation was palpable, the weight of your question pressing down on him. Taking a deep breath, he finally responded.

"Yes...and no. I didn't want to bother you and hoped you wouldn't find out from a mutual friend. So, I decided to call..." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "Our breakup did hit me hard, not like now. I realized how much I really care about you. Not just as a friend but more than anything else."

This revelation sent your mind reeling as your heart clenched painfully. What did it mean? What should you say next? As you struggled to respond, he continued speaking.

"But now that we're both single, I don't know if that's something you'd like." The vulnerability in his tone stirred up a torrent of emotions within you, leaving you speechless for the second time.

"We've been through so much already, and honestly, I'm terrified. I don't want to hurt you again," he confessed softly.

His words echoed in the vastness of your mind. You were afraid of getting close to him only to get burned once more - but there was also part of you that yearned for him with all of your being.

"Listen Yoongi, I..., I don't know if I can call it a breakup but the last person I was with, made me realize something else..." You hesitated a bit and swallowed your tears back; they seemed so foreign.

Your head ached while listening to his silence. He had always been able to read your face better than anyone ever could. The same look he carried whenever he was about to say the wrong thing was clear. He wasn't saying anything, probably not even knowing what to tell you at this point.

And you couldn't blame him when you didn't know either, "What do you mean?" he finally asked in a low murmur.

"I don't have in me the capability to trust anymore." You whispered. "You and I tried so hard and things always go wrong, always fail miserably." Your throat constricted tightly around your words making them sound harsh in contrast. "At one point in our life, we weren't capable of sharing love. It was so frustrating because I thought I'd be fine as friends yet everything fell apart."

The words escaped your lips without any filter whatsoever. Maybe the fact that you were venting in a place where he couldn't see you was what fueled your honesty. "Every time I try, it doesn't work out and it keeps hurting both of us."

"It's not because of you though...It's..." You inhaled sharply as you continued. "I feel like I'll always find myself going back to wanting you when it's unhealthy. I keep thinking if I let you back into my life, will I end up breaking my heart again?"

As you shared your innermost thoughts, he stayed silent for a few moments longer before quietly replying, "Is that the reason why you've been avoiding me?" His voice sounded shaky with emotion as if struggling against his own demons too.

"It is and maybe that makes me selfish," you muttered guiltily. "How I feel about you, how much I care about you despite all our mistakes, sometimes hurts when I can't act on those feelings. Or when things get serious between us; it scares me out of my mind."

Yoongi exhaled shakily on the other line as well. When he spoke, his voice wavered.

"You have every right to be afraid of being hurt again and it pains me to see you in so much agony because of me. I never knew I could feel so strongly about someone who wasn't my blood-related family or some kind of soulmate but there's something about you that draws me in. I've had my fair share of experiences with women throughout the years but nothing compares to how happy you make me feel when we spend time together and talk for hours on end."

When you heard those words coming out of his mouth, something inside of you broke wide open. His confession struck deep within your core and touched upon every single insecurity and fear you possessed. How could someone love someone like you? After all the times they failed each other, after all the mistakes and broken promises that ended their relationship?

You asked softly, "If that's really what you think about me, why did it take so long for us to get here then?" Your question was laced with sorrow but curiosity too; what changed from before to now that made him contact you and finally acknowledge his feelings towards you?

He paused for a moment. When he continued, his tone was earnest and sincere. "I wasn't sure that this time would be different. In the past, there were moments when I almost reached out but I'd get scared and hold back." A self-deprecating laugh escaped his lips. "Then I realized that life isn't perfect or even stable either, and I decided to pursue what matters most in my life, you."

His answer stunned you speechless; you hadn't expected such conviction from him when earlier, he seemed unsure himself. As you tried to comprehend the complexity of his emotions, the weight of the situation began to settle in.

You choked up and dissociated there for a while until he interrupted you with a soft murmur of your name. That snapped you back into reality as tears pricked your eyes again. "Do you think I'm stupid for believing in you even though you keep screwing things up?" you whispered, feeling ashamed and embarrassed by your vulnerability.

There was another pause before Yoongi spoke once more, his voice gentle and filled with compassion. "No. Because I'd trust you over anyone else in the world." He sighed deeply. "Maybe this is wrong but we're adults in a mature relationship already anyways...so I guess it makes sense to take a chance and try to fix things."

"But that means giving yourself one hundred percent and not holding anything back." He paused briefly before continuing hesitantly. "What do you want from us right now?" His voice sounded uncertain like he wasn't sure of the answer himself.

That is when it hit you: everything you ever wanted was standing in front of you, asking you the same question. "I want to be selfish right now," you muttered breathlessly.

"Then I will give it all to you if it means being with you and seeing you happy. Whatever it takes," he answered softly yet decisively. It was clear that this meant more than anything else in this world; after all, nothing mattered as much anymore.

This time, his sincerity made you smile genuinely, breaking through the sadness that had overtaken you before. "How come you always say the best things when I'm already crying?" you sniffled.

"Because I'm terrible at consoling others but somehow managed to learn how to make you smile once in a blue moon." As soon as you heard those words escape his lips, something inside your heart melted instantly. Even on the phone, his presence was able to calm your storming mind down. The things he said and did always meant so much more than what anyone else had ever done for you.

You knew now that it didn't matter what happened between you two in the past because he was here right now wanting you, trying to build a future with you together. "When can I see you again?" he asked gently, sounding hopeful despite being cautious himself. "If that's okay..."

“It’s fine. But I have to warn you, this is going to be a long conversation and I might cry. A lot.” You told him in fake seriousness.

“Well, that would be the first time, I’ve never seen you cry in all the years I’ve known you.” He chuckled. “At first I thought you were a robot.”

“I am.”

“And then I learned you were a softie.” He continued.

“I’m not.”

“Oh, I think you are.”

“I’m definitely not a softie.”

“You are. And I love it.”

You smiled because you could hear the genuine smile in his voice.

“Tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

“Okay then.” You ended the call after hearing his quiet sigh, feeling a sense of comfort and anticipation. As you walked the last few meters to your place, the familiar sight of home greeted you, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. You got home a little before sunset, feeling a mix of hope and excitement about seeing Yoongi tomorrow.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Yeah, I might not have watched Winx Club outside of one or two episodes back when it was airing, but one megacrossover fanfic verse I used to follow (before they used the "cure your asexuals" trope and I just cut myself off from the entire thing), had Winx Club in one of the FEW segments that was safe from the overall quality decay (which of course meant that it was basically dead), and thus I am very familiar with how Diasporo was BASICALLY a designated villain prior to the whole "Love Potion" thing.

Mostly because, y'know, her fiance cheated on her with some other girl, while also keeping her existence and their engagement a SECRET from the girl he was cheating on her with, risking a potential international scandal in the process.

Which is a VERY valid reason to be upset, even if it doesn't justify her later actions!

So I'm guessing Diasporo won't be a villain in your reboot?

YEAH

Like re: Canon: I give Sky /some/ of a break because like.

1.) His thing with Diaspro was very clearly an arranged marriage where he didn't love her but only felt obligated to do out of a Duty to his People, and started to fall for Bloom naturally. He is conflicted about doing what he has to as a Royal vs. following his heart rather than 'oh which cute girl do I choose?', and later issues with Diaspro after Sky chooses Bloom are either Bloom being jealous and not trusting while he tries to keep Diaspro as a friend and caring about her general wellbeing as a person and/or Diaspro going full manipulative villain who does some love potion/mind control shit.

and

2.) In the first season, Sky had switched identities with Brandon because for security reasons. So while he cared about Bloom and was clearly falling for her, telling her about the switch is still off the table because he's trying to not fucking die(even if he thinks he can trust that Bloom isn't some assassin, he doesn't know how well she can keep secrets).

Like don't get me wrong, this is early 2000s heteronormativity so there's plenty of romance drama and fucking up with them overall. But this thing I at least look at the bigger picture for.

BUT YEAH DIASPRO AND THE ROMANCE DRAMA IN MY REWRITE IDEA

So first off, we still have the Sky/Brandon swap plot, but there's more weight added to the whole 'protect the prince' thing. Civil unrest in his homeworld, assassination attempts, etc. Sky is legit in danger, and swapping identities with Brandon is a good option to keep him safe.

Within my rewrite, he does voice that he does NOT like this plan. He does not want people to die for him, especially his best friend. But his parents overrule his wishes on that, and Brandon thinks that, as much as he doesn't want to die, Sky is a good person who will make good changes when he takes the throne so he is willing to risk himself to keep his friend safe. (Sky makes this very hard by risking himself to keep everyone else safe as well lmao)

So yeah they do the swap thing and telling the others is.... a little low on the list. Because of the danger, even if they trust the groups. (Riven and Timmy figure it out so quick tho lmao)

Back to Diaspro!

Diaspro is still, technically, Sky's fiance. However, Sky is very adamant that he is not going to marry her. Yes he has a duty to his people, but it is not going to be done by using her as a bargaining chip in a political alliance.

When Diaspro shows up and accidentally outs the 'they swapped and I'm his fiance' thing, everyone's understandably upset which has Sky ramble the whole thing to try and explain that he is very much not cheating he does love Bloom this is a Complicated™ situation etc. Which.... yeah there's a little hurt still because emotions aren't always rational, but everyone understands.

Diaspro doesn't exactly take this /well/ because while Sky has kinda said it before, this is the first time he's been very blunt and makes her realize that he might be serious. She does kinda start a fight with Bloom in a 'jealous catfight' way, but Bloom can absolutely hold her own in a fight by now. Sky tries to talk to her and explain that he does still care about her, but he doesn't love her like that.

Diaspro kinda sulks off screen in denial until the Season Finale episodes. Er, long story short: giant Army of Darkness that is down to kill like fuckin everyone in it's path.

She shows up again to try and get Sky to evacuate. Save himself. He's a Prince, he should have people fighting for him, not be in the battle!

Sky gives her a speech about the kind of King he wants to be when he takes the throne. He wants to help his people, to protect them. How can he do that if he doesn't get involved and instead hides away in a palace, doing his best to relax while everyone else takes care of it for him?

It makes Diaspro pause for a moment. If they were still to get married one day, what kind of Queen would she want to be? She stays for the battle and helps out where she can.

In the time between seasons, Diaspro does a lot of thinking. Firstly, getting over the heartbreak and realizing it's not exactly heartbreak. She didn't love Sky. Not like a romantic love at least, she still cares for him. But the idea of him as her future husband has been in her head since she was a child.

Which leads her to thinking over her life. How everything her parents wanted her to do, everything they raised her for, every skill she has? It all is based around the idea that she's going to be Sky's trophy wife.

If that's not to be her future, she has no idea what to do. What would she even /want/ to do?

After much thought, she gets enrolled at Alfea. Lying to her parents about how going to the school would let her be around Sky more often and 'win him back from that harlot!', but having no intention of doing so.

Within Season 2, Diaspro gets dragged into the main group through both seeking Bloom out to apologize for before and reassure her, and also because the Main Plot involves being underground, and Diaspro's Earth and Gemstone-based Magic will help a lot with that.

I don't have direct plans for her in further seasons other than agreeing with Sky about dissolving their marriage arrangement and that their Realm needs a lot of changes in the coming future.

[liviavanrouge]

Hated Oc Rivals Meet(Trigger warning)

Maria(My Hero Academia Abby Aizawa Rival): *Sighs, fixing her hair*

Jane(Attack on Titan Layla Ackerman Rival): *Looks over as the door opens*

Ophelia (Fire Force Melody Melody Rival): *Walks in, shutting the door behind her*

Maria: OH HELL NO!

Ophelia: What....

Maria: Look....I get that people don't like me for mentally and physically abusing Abby, BUT THEY HATE ME AT THE SAME LEVEL AS THIS BITCH!

Jane: Yeah *Nods*

Ophelia: Maybe more than me...

Maria: That's some bull...

Ophelia: The way you broke Abby, that was disrespectful

Maria: Yeah maybe until the Sports Festival Arc, but I've grown, me and her are friends again and I've been more protective of my best friend!

Ophelia: But you grew to be a bigger Bitch to everyone but her!

Jane: I will never forgive you for slapping Deku! NEVER!

Maria: YOU TRIED TO KILL LAYLA! IN FRONT OF LEVI AND EREN!!!

Jane: Look I know what I've done was wrong...

Maria: But you tried to break Levi's heart more...

Jane: GIRL! it's attack on Titan! She's dead now anyway and even if she didn't die during the Beast Titan Fight saving her kids she would've died eventually!

Sarah(Obey Me Sarafina Rival): But imagine being hated for just wanting Lucifer!

Jane: YOU TRIED TO SCREW A MAN WHO'S MARRIED AND HAS SEVERAL KIDS!

Sarah: Okay, like this hoe behind me ain't try and do worst!

Perish(Death Note Octavia Rival): What...L is cute..I know he had a wife and kids along with a third child on the way, but uhm...I couldn't help myself

Sarah: And you said I did the worst, she tried to screw a man who had a third child on the way, the one I tried to screw had no children on the way and his children was growing up healthy and fine!

Maple(Twisted Wonderland Livia Rival): All I wanted was Jack and that hoe had to steal him from me..

Maria: Honey he wouldn't take you back even if you killed that girl...

Ophelia: He definitely wouldn't...

Maple: I know the bitches that wouldn't give up ain't talking either...

Koila(Tokyo Revengers Dahlia Rival): What I wanna know! Is why Mikey chose Dahlia over me! When I knew him since we were kids!!!

Maria: I gotta admit it Dahlia and Mikey are cute together, I don't think you two would've lasted a day...

Sarah: I will be honest Abby and Amajiki bring officially together in the My Hero Academia Manga near the end is so cute, but it was heart breaking when he witnessed Shigaraki murder her...

Nalu(Demon Slayer Lily Rival): I WANTED TO KILL LILY, BUT TOMIOKA GOT IN MY WAY!

Jane: WOAHHHH! Tomioka loves Lily even though she is a demon and the fact that she feeds off of his love and affection for her is downright adorable and fluffy! Don't talk about my girl like that...now this bitch here though...

Hazel(Blue Period Amethyst Rival): *Points to herself*

Jane: YES YOU! HOE!

Hazel: Ugh excuse you...

Koila: you're excused! But honey driving Amethyst to attempt suicide Several times is not cool baby...

Hazel: That witch doesn't deserve to live!

Perish: Neither do you...

Momoi(Kuroko no Basket Rival to Crystal): Wait why am I here...

Sarah: YES! Why is she here she's not that hated...

Maple: Agreed, she did back off and help Kuroko get together with Crystal...why is she hated...

Momoi: EXACTLY!

Miete(Food Wars Aisha Rival): Does that apply to me too...

Momoi: No you deserve to be here...

Perish: One hundred percent...

Maria: You're the most hated out of all of us...

Sarah: Why would you 1. Try to date Kurokiba when you find out he's dating Aisha, 2. Mess up Aisha's recipe so she couldn't move to the next round, 3. Challenge Aisha for her No. 2 seat, 4. After the timeskip to when they're adults you got Kurokiba drunk and screwed him causing you to have bare child and causing the two to break off their engagement

Miete: I mean...she went and married Soma afterwards, so win win...

Sarah: You're a disgrace you know that...

Miete: Yes I do and I'm proud of what I've done!

[mechanicalsquid]

feeling the Eldest Daughter Syndrome™ a bit lately plus other ✨ emotions ✨ so this is a little rambly, venty post about that.

(tw's for some very brief mentions of depression and anxiety)

I want to be a kid again. When was the last time I was a kid? carefree? was I ever a kid? in elementary school I was the "gifted kid", the "mature" one, always put on a pedestal as the example for my brothers. always used as a comparison. my parents asking "why can't your brothers be more like you?" what they saw was a daughter with straight A's while a leader on their robotics team, a successful athlete, and balancing other clubs. this is what they saw up through college, 8+ years of this. 8-12 fucking years. over half my life. what they didn't see was how much that broke me. they never saw that I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning (a habit started in fourth grade) in order to do my homework. because I a) couldn't focus after school due to likely having undiagnosed adhd, and b) was so exhausted. by the end of high school, my typical routine was: up between 5-6, do homework, go to school from 7-2:30, go to cross country/track/robotics from 3-5, and then would often stay till 6 or 7 doing extra testing or drive practice for robotics, go home to eat and do dishes and maybe attempt more homework before passing out at midnight. my entire life revolved around school and extracurriculars, never proper time for friends. a similar story through college. they didn't see how much of myself was lost after pouring it into college. the burnout that resulted. they never saw the panic attacks or breakdowns, how bad my mental health declined, the nights crying myself to sleep because everything was so overwhelming and because I would be a disappointment if I didn't perform to the expectations set for me. because the one time I did tell my mom that I felt depressed, she invalidated my feelings and said that maybe I was just anxious and should just try eating better. because later that summer, after a camping trip with friends, she told me that "being depressed isn't an excuse and you need to suck it up" because I didn't engage "properly" and "wasn't having fun" with everyone. I can't show negative emotions without consequences. I must always be happy. I must always be on my best behavior. I must be the role model. perfect. always perfect. no mistakes. If I fail, no, if /I'm/ a failure all Hell breaks loose. I'm an awful daughter (where did my mom go wrong? what did she do to deserve this?). if I do something wrong or make a mistake then I'm terrible. if my brothers make a mistake or forget to do something, it's my fault for not reminding them (even though one is almost 20). all outrage, all emotions are directed to me. through me. I will never have the peace after a hurricane. if my parents are able to calmly talk to my brother about a task or something he did wrong, it's likely because they have no rage left after using it on me, leaving me a sobbing mess. I will always take the blame, whether by choice or not. will take the brunt of the force, protecting my brothers without them knowing. they will never know. defending my youngest brother before my mom can yell at him (her form of communication. she wonders why my brothers and I have a hard time properly communicating with each other. I don't). being his parent for 12 years so he actually has one. so he can experience kindness and compassion. so he actually has someone who understands what he's dealing with with his adhd and doesn't just dismiss him or yell at him because of the way his symptoms present. trying to re-parent myself in the process. being scared of myself whenever I become my parents. trying to rid myself of them. of their anger. of their disappointment. of all of it. will I ever be rid of it? will I ever be just me? how long will their rage consume me? have I already been consumed? when did they corrupt me? I want to be a kid again. was I ever a kid? can one be a kid if they are their own parent? I will always be the parent, the therapist. the one my parents and friends vent to. the one trying to fix everyone else. the one who needs fixing. I want to be fixed. I want to be loved. I don't want to be a parent anymore. I want to be a kid. I will never be a kid.

[cosmicroseflower]

I never felt like I resonated with the way the third dimension operated. I was programmed differently to see through the matrix programming early on in my life. I questioned everything. I questioned authority figures the most because they didn't operate from love and integrity. They seemed like they were lying and even as a child I could tell when someone was lying. This is how God created me.

I had many paranormal encounters since the age of five I can remember vividly, I experienced many e.t. sightings and abductions throughout my life that made me see beyond this third dimension. I operate on the fourth dimension now but for a while I lost my way when I couldn't see through the illusions. On my Mother planet, in a parallel reality, where I have lived many many lives on another planet I am very used to feminine energy and my planet is mostly all feminine energy with very little masculine energy, so much so, that our species couldn't reproduce anymore because almost everyone was in their feminine energy and we stopped reproducing. We had to leave to other planets like Earth to evolve and keep our species alive. There was not an equal balance of femininity and masculinity on my planet, Arkurakura. This is a new download I received for a while now. Please scroll if I trigger your limiting beliefs.

When I came to Earth, I felt very feminine my entire life, so much so I stood out because I did not conform into being masculine at all and I did not understand masculine energy here and I did not resonate with males. I just observed them for a long time from afar. I began to fall in love with men but they were just using me. Many of these males were in their feminine energy masking as though they were in their divine masculinity, instead they were abusive, controlling, manipulative, and using women. I grew up never having a safe provider, my father never cared to give me anything except a roof over our head, he was my first bully. I never knew any men who protected me, my brother was also my bully and I never met any male that wanted to provide for me unless they could use my body. So I was forced into being in my masculine energy to get away from everyone.

This felt odd at first, and exhausting but at least I felt safe with myself and I knew I had my own back if no one else did. I forgot who I was to survive here. I always leaned back into my feminine energy until another male made me feel unsafe, and not provided for. Once they were comfortable disrespecting me and taking me off their pedestal, they expected me to treat them feminine, give them everything I had, which was very little materially, but energetically I had a lot. Energetically they were draining my life force and sucking up all my natural abundance and light. But I always knew and always felt like the feminine energy in our dynamics so I never understood when men or women would attack me so harshly for staying in my feminine energy or wanting to present myself as feminine.

I always felt like I was a Goddess but I had to hide that side of me sometimes because it triggered others. Also for my otherworldly energy, they couldn't read me correctly so they labeled me as odd, even calling me an alien many times. We're all aliens. I was attacked all the time for just being in my natural state of being because masculine women would envy me, betray me, turn on me and feminine men were always in competition with me, all the men I was engaged to were in a silent competition with me, used me, abused me, traumatized me when I refused to be abused. I trigger people's demons, and I trigger people who refuse to grow. I defined this as a negative problem when it was completely neutral and served me & everyone I encountered.

I studied, observed and attempted to understand everyone's perspectives so I could understand why they were treating me that way. Some people freaked out on me because they accused me of being an alien, and they became afraid of me. But I am in a human body. Always have been. I'm just more aware of my multidimensionality. I don't make fun of my fairytale, alien, dragon, faery, mermaid energy because I don't have to hide anymore. I'm safe now. We've always been surrounded by aliens disguised as humans. I've literally met so many, and so many magical creatures who are all Source. You will hear about it whether you believe me or not, it does not matter. There are no myths, there is no fiction.

Everything is half real until you decide to believe in it, then it's real, for you. There's no such thing as fiction. What we call fiction is an astral reality that has been brought forth into the idea of our physical reality experience. But we call it fiction because we can't see it and it doesn't line up with what we are experiencing on the physical level. That doesn't mean it's not real, it just means those things are taking place in a different level of reality. There was so many times I left my body to come join my star family because of how many times I was almost killed on Earth and my human body was so unsafe on the lower timelines.

First I had to place boundaries on them (even though narcissists don't respect boundaries) I isolated myself to the best of my ability, then I forgave them for myself then I found out. I had negative beliefs about men and women from my past bullies and abusive men in my family and partners. I believed most men were assholes to women and I believed most women were jealous and full of pain from men. Which is a very real reality for billions of people. But I realized I didn't have to make it my truth anymore so I removed the limiting beliefs creating these versions of people in my life and I believed the opposite then I raised my vibration to match the reality I wanted to live in. All men in my world are safe, all men want to provide for me, all men are loving and kind, all men are healthy minded, all men are gentlemen to me, all men are working on self improvement ect. I created safety within me out of nothing, out of nothing more than the movies I watched as an example to believe in.

For the most part I've seen the most incredible, smart, woke, unconditionally loving, kind men I've ever seen, and I just keep seeing more and more of them. They are absolutely inspiring and incredible. I'm meeting other versions of myself on this new timeline and they are absolutely jaw dropping, incredible men. I changed my beliefs about women too by believing all women are supportive, loving, and safe in my world but I'm still working on it because I don't think about women that much because I have been betrayed all my life by women, I don't date women, so i don't think about changing them to better versions I prefer. I don't mean to offend any gender. We're all Source. We're all one. We just call them beings of unconditional love.

Change yourself, change your beliefs. We're not supposed to stay the same. Don't worry, who you are at your natural core will always stay the same, but your perspective will change over and over. For the most part though I have seen so many amazing women who are incredibly loving, intelligent, kind, and even geniuses. I still see women who act offended by my presence but I try to change my beliefs about them too in the moment. They usually are just unhappy with themselves. I still give them love but keep my distance.

I've shifted all my narcissistic family, ex partners by raising my vibration and I shifted them overnight into kinder, apologetic, more aware, more loving and more evolved beings by letting go of MY old beliefs and changing my beliefs about them everyday, changing myself, and how I perceive my reality. You think everyone has the same perception of reality? Everyone has different perspectives. You must stop saying, "all men are the same. All women are the same. All men are toxic, evil, bad, cheaters, all women are bitches, all women are mean, all women are jealous, annoying ect." Please stop, for yourself. You don't have to experience that life anymore. Trust in the opposite. You can shift to a world you love to experience with beautiful supportive people. You can also change your past through your present moment because memories are created in the present moment and are all happening now because time is just an illusion and everything is happening now. There is only now.

There are infinite amounts of Earths to experience. My Earth right now is moving to a higher plane, a higher dimension and my mother planet is finally able to reach Earth because we raised our vibration enough to receive all the higher frequency supporting energies they are giving us. No matter what, even if you aren't open to receiving these energies you will feel them and see the effects of these energies on your world. Our two planet's energies are merging together and we're receiving more of that energy here on Earth so now I will finally feel at home on Earth with more of my familiar energy here and people will finally understand me.

[misskazehana]

I finally got comfortable enough to draw and NOT destroy something! I wanted to attempt to push out as much story I can before my executive dysfunction and perfectionism attempt to prevent it from happening.

To spare you my info dumping (Tragically, I think my ocs are my special interest which I don't share as much irl since it's harder to do so without VISUALS and looking like a loud person)- I'll put it all under here. I

n brief, these three are in what I call a toxic triangle that only recently toned down as they got older. No one is clean in this mess and I am sorry for this.

THIS IS YOUR SAVE POINT, AFTER YOU CLICK; NO TURNING BACK FROM WORDS WORDS WORDS!

(Igneous's POV) Page 1: (He projected and only realized after it got bad. Suffers for it to this day.)

"This girl (Violette) is a source of many complicated feelings. As a young boy, I was utterly smitten. Even if she admittedly- openly despised me."

"Even so, I couldn't bring myself to be upset or resentful towards this lass. Mostly because I related to her in some sad way- we were both pretty lonely people."

"My own selfish desire is what ultimately made it impossible. It only got worse when a girl she loved had become my fiancee over night."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Violette's POV) Page 2: (She resents Igneous and proves to be no better in how she handles things.)

"This man is the bane of my existence. As a young lass, he was quite the ass."

"Clingy. Nosy. Truthfully, I wish he'd simply die."

"I wanted to be alone. I didn't want him in my life. And yet, he kept at it..."

"My increasingly harsh response left me frazzled. Especially, when he'd steal away my one comfort away."

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(Saphir's POV) Page 3: (Out of the three, she's the worst and though pitiable- NOT REALLY.)

"I am a dreadful person. As I kid, I was and still a little bit A LOT."

"As in, I pulled a lot of strings just to feel in control and not alone."

"Why am I like this is simple. I am just like this. Always alone in all this chaos."

"I HATED IT ALL SO MUCH!"

"It's why I was finally so happy to have these two in my life. People who I can-."

"OH NO. Oh no no no no! WHY AM I SO STUPID!?"

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Final page: "Three little people, three lies..."

"Only one ending. Only one will remain..."

Long story, Saphir instigated in a little manipulation since she was tired of feeling isolated and not in control. She saw the heavily dysfunctional duo of Igneous and Violette as prime candidates for her needs.

Igneous felt Violette genuinely needed s friend since it seemed as if she was bullied as he was with isolation. Alas, the blunt lass wasn't really too torn up about the solitude. She was more upset a certain freckled freak kept invading her space. His constant persistence in what he initially though were kind gestures drove her to get nastier. To the point she was labeled a nasty bully. She was harassed horribly as a result and he felt deep remorse upon realizing it.

Naturally, Saphir stoked the flames from afar before ultimately making her move to 'befriend' Violette. She didn't plan for the bookworm to fall for her so quickly and brutally. She also got Igneous shortly after. Neither of them realized they'd be engaged until a few years after the fact. On the eve of a war that'd be caused by raising tensions, Igneous (in his mind to protect his betrothed from his blood thirsty mother) annuls his engagement.

He was sent to die in battle as his mother viewed his actions as treacherous. Saphir was in hysterics as she loved him deeply. Well, as deeply a control seeking person could. Violette stood beside her and even did her damnedest to protect Saphir as she hid her away. After 7 years of bloodshed and a magical (if not, totally monkey's pawing( wish- it all ended.

Saphir wed Violette, holding immense guilt for what she had to do. She had cursed Igneous with her wish. She watched him crawl and vomiting black ichor as he pulled his barely living corpse back up. Igneous remains respectful towards both ladies. Violette holds deep and visceral resentment due to all trauma caused by his existence. Saphir cannot forsake either of them yet keeps making bad choices out of desperation to keep them both.

In the end, this cannot last as it is currently. Someone's gunna die for it and gods only know the actual answer of who it is.

Art and ocs done by me, misskazehana

[thebodhiwitch]

Foster Friendship and Solidarity

Hello Witches! I wanted to write about friendship, female solidarity and how important they've been to me. I recently had an experience where a man was attempting (and continues) to coach women who are in a vulnerable position. I asked him his credentials, he lost his shit. As someone who coaches and has worked with a highly vulnerable population, I was curious how his current platform was a-lotting this experience that is protected by HIPPA law in clinical settings. He invited me to join his Live. I noticed he had other clients of his who he berated in the Live. I remained quiet, until he started talking to me. I was not going to let this man "coach" me so I told him I was great and curious about his "practice". This pissed him off. He did not answer my concern regarding his contempt toward mental health diagnosis. He was infuriated that I asked about his motives regarding going back to school. I reassured him I was asking simply out of curiosity as a Masters in Social Work student who is considering switching fields. I did what I could to cushion his ego so as not to react further. Then politely excused myself from the Live. I was so disgusted with his behavior. I figured to just stay away from his content. In the Live, there was a girl who said she liked my vids and wanted to connect. So we did. I thought nothing of it. Until the morning after the LIVE, she messaged me about having serious concerns regarding his "coaching services". Not only that but she empowered me and expressed gratitude for cracking his vineer with simple questions. Together, we learned a lot about his history. She investigated his ass like an FBI agent. If it wasn't for her reaching out, we wouldn't have been able to empower one another to stand up to someone who is exploiting a vulnerable population. This is the power of female connection and friendship. I am doing everything in my power to learn and empower myself. No matter the education, exposure and practice, predators still find their way to me. That's because no matter what, life will always be life. Thank God, I'm a person who pursues learning and gleans wisdom from experience. So not only when I encounter predators, I not only defeat them, but make friends in the process. I am so grateful I met this incredibly investigative, smart cool woman!

I have done over 400 psychic readings and counting. Roughly 60% of them are women dating men who are cheating and mistreating them in multiple ways. They call me and ask about the other woman. They contact me in hopes that he will change. They always want him to come back. They always want to be the one. Now, in some cases (like 20% of the time) they come back. But when they do come back, its like Pet Cemetery, they come back worse (of the 20% I would say less than 10% of those relationships last).

Something loving jerks has taught me, is to choose me every time. They taught me to listen. The years of inner-work is paying off. And like any discipline, there are days that feel like shit and then days that feel good. I reflect on my freedom and relish that I am unattached to men who've shown me, they didn't see my worth. I don't need to prove it and neither do you babe. I felt a liberation today in a way I never have before. I trusted my gut about this guy being "off", observed it, engaged with it and am so grateful that I wasn't alone in seeing that he was problematic. This man thrives on desperate woman who are in abusive relationships or just leaving them. Predators love isolated, vulnerable women, who have little to no friends. Remember that being desperate can lead you to a predator. Seeing yourself as the cure-all for the hunger of a shark is naive. If you sense danger, trust it. If you are a survivor of domestic/family violence you were wired to distrust yourself and always accept whatever your abuser imposed upon you. It takes years to undo that because it's like being brainwashed. Survivors need space to feel all the feelings. Survivors need to be empowered to trust themselves. I hope that if you are a survivor you are getting all the support you need at this time. Feel free to reach out to me for any support or resources. I am a certified and trained DV Counselor. I am not taking clients but I will absolutely guide you/support/link you to resources that can help. You're strong witches, be well and may your light radiate, blinding your enemies, illuminating your path to endless serenity, love and light.