#And im brushed off or they say they get it... And then dont ... Do it...

[softness-and-shattering]

Thats a good point, I see all kinds of neurodivergence in my family but only a couple of us in my generation, afaik, have a diagnosis.

However, my gp attended a recent talk about overlap of queer folk with neurodivergence and also a group of comorbid illnesses including, iirc, POTS/MCAS/EDS/CFS theres a couple others Im just blanking. Digestive issues? Things that we've broadly noticed as a community, and it seems like its starting to be studied.

And also, everyone has some kind of trauma, idk how many people if any have no kind of disability whatsoever, humanity is vast and diverse. And we're wired to look for patterns. Interpret this information how you will, I certainly cant say for sure if these patterns are broader than trans people, or are more people trans than we expect, are we seeing correlation or causation or is there a mechanism in common with all these labels thats the deeper cause, is queerness an interchangeable/'sometimes' factor or a central one, we are way too early to know that yet.

I think its probably not nothing. But we're also not uniquely fucked up. Maybe we're just sticking out, so to speak, so thats where the research is starting. Many people werent taking ME/CFS seriously until long covid prompted more research bc, iirc, there was now a lot more people affected who were harder to ignore. And who were seeking help. Like a lot of people have an allergy or a dodgy wrist or "that weird thing with my digestion" and they dont consider it a disability or seek treatment, yknow? And especially mental health and especially what runs in families, it looks normal to you so why would you ever bring it up to a dr? "Everyone struggles with these things. Everyone feels this way" well you do and your parents and aunts and uncles do and your siblings do, and maybe you told a dr forty years ago you were in pain and they brushed you off so you thought everyone was walking around in agony.

And that gets into an adjacent conversation about medicalising and diagnosing and when does that help and when is it like, making a negative thing of normal human experiences and variations, its not a disorder till its negatively impacting your life, if youre surviving but treatment could help you thrive is it worth the side effects etc etc plus the whole discussion of psychiatry in particular which can be an amount of guesswork and diagnostic labels are often just patterns of symptoms that we see oftrn go together and we dont always yet understand the underlying neurology. (One of my all time best therapists kept up with the latest neuroscience and always had very good and effective suggestions. I only stopped seeing her bc I moved away. If you can be seeing professionals who are keeping up with research, definitely prefer them over someone who hasnt learned anything since they completed training 50 years ago. Always.)

Tl;dr I agree with OP and also this stuff is extremely complex and we're always learning new things about us!

something that should be taken with a grain of salt are the statistics talking about the high rates of mental illness + neurodivergence among trans people (ocd, bpd, adhd, autism, etc)

I see both sides of the political spectrum taking these studies at face value - conservatives say we're broken, and trans people try to come up with reasons why for example autism + gender dysphoria makes sense and why one of them feeds into another

at the end of the day you have to remember that we're the one category of people on this planet who are legally required to go see a psychiatrist in order to receive non-psychiatric medication and surgeries.

more trans people are in therapy by law than any other demographic of people, and as a result, this captures more comorbidities.

if I had to look at my own family & rates of mental illness?

mom, dad, 2 maternal aunts, maternal grandmother, paternal grandmother, sister, sibling, and me all have OCD.

7/9 of them are cishet, never been to therapy, never diagnosed. 2/9 are trans, required therapy for hormone treatment, and were diagnosed.

you don't have to do any math to just see that the resulting statistics end up intensely skewed.

and we can think back to how autism was virtually never diagnosed more than 50 years ago - ruling out any grandparents being included in statistics - and even my parents' generation (they're in their 60s now) wouldn't have been included either.

I don't think it's to anyone's benefit to accept these studies uncritically. a lot of these things are hereditary and far more prevalent in the overall population than people realize

[sugahbunni]

jake as your bfs best friend except jake reallly likes you.

jake knows its just so wrong of him as heeseungs best friend, to have a crush on his gf. but how could he not? your blushing red cheeks, pouty lips and shiny eyes and perfect hair. its been months and he cant seem to get over you. he wonders how your hair feels, how your skin feels and how your lips would feel against his. when heeseung introduced you to jake, jake swears his heart flips. your puffy cheeks painted in a faint red from the cold weather. your innocent eyes flickering everywhere, and your delicate hand shaking his hand. and your voice seemed to be laced with honey. "i'm yn, nice to meet you!". jake nervously smiles, your hair distracting him. its so shiny and soft, he wonders how it must feel to tou- "right jake, ill see you around" heeseung pats jake on the shoulder, walking off with you holding his hand. "r-right" jake stutters, watching you stride away. "shes perfect".

you and jake had one class together, to his surprise you came up to him and asked if you could sit with him. "you're heeseungs friend, right?! oh my gosh im so glad i know someone here, can i sit here?". to which jake gladly says yes to. a few days in and jake realizes how this is a very distracting situation. your knee often scratches against jakes, a soft "sorry" coming from you. he can't help but feel butterflies when your elbow brushes against his. he seriosly cannot focus on anything but how close you are to him. god, this isnt helping his small crush on you.

you and jake have gotten closer over the last few weeks, cracking jokes and hanging around campus. heeseung doesnt mind, in his words "yn is completely tied to me" which jake hated to hear but what could he do?. jake often brings your favorite snacks, he loves how your face brightens up when he gives them to you. "thanks jakey" you smile at him softly. jake feels his cheeks heat up a bit, holding back a huge smile. "y-you're welcome".

jake cant seem to get over you, he managed to get a picture of you (dont ask how hes already creeped out by himself). in the picture, you're wearing a white babydoll sweater and a matching skirt. with your glittery makeup again. "fuck" jake mutters, staring at your picture and running his hand through his hair. "be mine" he groans out of frustration, placing his hands in his hands. he then goes on insta and goes to your profile, tapping through your highlight named "me!!:3". he scans your selfies throughly, a grin plastered across his face. "yns so pretty, shit" he curses. hes examining your outfits, he really likes how you wear skirts even in this cold weather. he sets his phone down and picks up the picture of you. "can't get over you".

during the end of the class, jake is distracted once again by your overall appearance. he notices you're wearing glitter in the corner of your eyes. "nice shimmer" jake comments, and you immediately reply with a thank you. "oh thank you! haha not even heeseung noticed when i wore it yesterday..". jake scrunches his nose up, he knows his best friend is not exactly the best guy to commit yourself to. he wonders if you know heeseungs long history of dating girls. how could a sweet girl like you become one of them? "i'll see you tonight? dont forget you invited me to pizza!" you pout jokingly, patting jakes shoulder. "right! tonight" he replies, watching you walk off. "tonight ..".

jake knows heeseung is not exactly the best bf. so now that you're both close, you're often calling up jake. asking where heeseung is, why heeseung isnt answering your calls and why heeseung seems distant. taking advantage of this everytime, jake invites you to his place where you ramble with snot coming out of your nose. "i swear he has something to do with this girl named karina, he said they're just friends but.." you sniffle, jake placing a napkin under your runny nose. "its ok yn, maybe you should find someone who could you treat better". he knows hes throwing heeseung under the bus for saying this but honestly? he doesnt care. he hates how heeseung treats you as an afterthought. you spend the night at jakes. and once you knocked out, jake couldn't help but stare at you in your sleeping state. your small breaths, your twitching lips and your messy hair. you looked perfect. jake carefully brushes the hair out of your face. "please be mine, yn".

you, heeseung, and jake decided to go to a cafe. you and heeseung got there before jake. so when jake came into the cafe and saw you giggling uncontrollably at whatever heeseung said, he sighed in defeat. you were leaning against heeseung, your hand intertwined with his. jake sighs again, watching you both from afar.

"i just cant come between them" jake thinks to himself. "yn is completely in love with him".

he quite literally feels nervous, he decides to just go home. he often gets stomachaches from thinking about how you're his best friends gf. and how he cant have you. it gets so had that he gets anxious from thinking about it too much. is it that serious ? yes, yes it is. like sometimes when jake passes by the libeary, he sees you and heeseung. jakes heart flushes down to his stomach when he sees you smiling brightly at heeseung. he quite literally feels sick to his stomach knowing you'll never be his.

jake lays out in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. he has your picture in his hand, rubbing his finger against your face. he gives it a soft kiss, cringing at himself for doing so but thats what you do when you like someone. jake thinks he likes you a little bit too much now, your personality is absolutely electric in his eyes. its been five months since he met you, and five months since you and heeseung have been dating.

will jake ever get over you? as long as you and heeseung are dating, he dont think he ever will.

like ever.

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando instinctively trying to protect his boyfriend Seb from the champagne spray

+

[theladyfae]

i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶

[bright-and-burning]

anybody got any advice for finding a new doctor. again

[unwellwoman]

i know my family doesnt mean any harm but i wish the tendency to make fun of someone was less. like is it a joke really....

[mymp3]

trailer talk

[befuddled-calico-whump]

it's kind of sad getting back onto DeviantArt and seeing the flood of "AI Artists". When I used to frequent the site back in 2014? 2015? you'd see all levels of quality and experience on your feed, and you could tell that the majority of artists put time and effort and heart into everything they posted

Now, it's just muddled with ai. And don't get me wrong, the robots can churn out some cool stuff, but it's kinda frustrating, especially when you know some bot-wranglers don't tag it as AI, and you don't know what's a work of actual effort, and what's just an amalgamation of stolen art blended together by a prompt

[freak1demon69]

This is what it feels like being a hex fan sometimes, like its not even a twitter issue (and in a sense its not necessarily an issue, sometimes ppl just wanna have fun n not spout theories n discussion 24/7! I get that!) but i feel like a lot of people r quick to write off aspects of the game and characters and insist that, despite it being a mullinsverse title, it's not that deep/things are surface level

[me-you-and-my-medication]

I think I have avpd. I just relate a lot to the symptoms I've found and listening to people talk about it I resonate with too

[orcelito]

Wonderful news, after a month of flossing almost every day, my gums are finally no longer bleeding every time I floss!! 😃

[just-spacetrash]

.

[ef-1]

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

[sillypilled-friendcel]

i wish financial abuse and forced dependence weren't like. only seen as bad when a spouse does it??? lol.

[milo-igidk]

have i mentioned lately that i fucking hate the council

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

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